#just really damn good
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honestly im calling it now. the silt verses is one of those rare perfect pieces of art for me. absolutely flawless. perfectly fitting end to the story. excellent.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#the silt verses#this doesnt get a spoiler tag because like. its just Good.#just really damn good#while i would critique one thing in an ideological sense#just narratively and artistically this is absolutely fucking perfect#cannot recommend the silt verses enough just. mwah. A+. S tier. 10/10. gold damn star.#excellent horror excellent prose excellent characters excellent story#a damn fine meal if i do say so myself
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it
And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#I’m sorry it’s just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#it’s not even about that you know#it’s about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didn’t need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#that’s not a good thing slskd it’s just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I can’t deny I feel a bit of that#but I’m also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didn’t need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chili’s tonight lmao#(why do I say that I don’t think my country even has chili’s)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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VICTORIA HOUSEKEEPING CO. ❖ VON LYCAON
We have obtained the item you requested. But, it seems this area requires further cleaning.
#zzz#zzzero#zenless zone zero#von lycaon#lycaon#flashing tw#zzzedit#m:gifs#m:*#m:1k#HOYO-MIX HAND OVER THIS DEMO MUSIC NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#zzz is already fucking so hard with the music i'm gonna pass out. in general zzz's style is just sooooo good it rly stands out#this demo was also so damn good!!!!!!!!!! like these animations HELLOOOOOOO they're really gonna make me fall for the butler wolf man. lord
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
#that “you understand?” kills me everytime...#i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg#hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀#i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀#happy valentines too ig#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jay ferin#jrwi fish and chips#my art#i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm#sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah#it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu#-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night#and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my#brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls.....#my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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Incapable of not bragging on myself after today. My store sold 16K in beds between four people.
12K of that was me.
#ramblies#really lovely folks all day#continuing the trend from yesterday but if it weren’t for the hours I’d just be stoked about my job because I’m good at it and I genuinely#like helping people sleep better#I’m just also so damn tired
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.🖤🔄🤍.
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#limochi#art#mochi#lime#ocs#original#PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ive been wanting to do this for so long....the m-34th purposely makes their uniforms white to be the anti-witch black color#and they both look DAMN FINE#limes def thinking abt how she looks like a bride#it took me a while to decide if i should also swap the gold#but the gold looks too good with the uniform...#i cant stop looking at this#ignore my sad excuse for crossed legs at this angle i gave up#hehe it reminds of an idea i have in beta about the m-34th letting witches off the hook post-ending#and changing their uniforms to black#idk if thats actually what happens but it would be wholesome for lime to come home in a black uniform#and mochi gets all emotional he looks so handsome#i just realized i messed up some of his uniform details#this is what i get for not looking at references for my own characters#also what i get for rushing a piece in 2 hours instead of taking my time#cat bow hat really fucks man#edit: i fixed the things that were bothering me hehe
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I’m your guard dog in public. Walking around with that big tough expression on my face, not letting anyone near you. I open doors for you, drive you around, growl at anyone who looks at us the wrong way.
But in the bedroom, I’m nothing more than your submissive pup. It’s shocking how quickly I melt when you instruct me to get on my knees. I blush hard when you praise me and ask me to tell you what I want you to do to me. You stick your fingers in my mouth and grab my tongue, just as I ask. You tell me I’m such a good, tough dog for you. Of course I should be rewarded.
#the things I would do for this. indescribable#bonus I’m wearing a chunky chain necklace that you can tug on when I’m getting distracted in public#yeah that’s really fucking good#UGH IM DROOLING!#just want to be a god damn guard mutt ok.#jasperbarks#ftm puppy#t4t puppy
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Y'all, I hate to say it, but no, Nandermo did not "go canon", in an "alternate universe" or through "implications" or otherwise. They were making fun of us. That was the point of all the little nudges and open questions that were quickly squashed. That was the point of the hypnosis ending. The point of that hypnosis was quite literally "Here, let's give the perfect fake wish-fulfillment ending to parts of our fanbase" (which is why there were three. They're fake. That's the point. The point is that they are supposed to be fantasies to appeal to people's hopes for the show).
Having Nandor and Guillermo as a classic sitcom couple set to a laugh track in a universe where none of the other characters exist was a jab at shippers who wanted Nandermo to be canon and cared more about that than the other characters or the premise of the show. They were making fun of "and they lived happily ever after" type fanwork. They were making fun of people who, in their eyes, ignored the irreverence and violence and black comedy of the show in order to make fluffy slash content. They were explicitly saying: "This is how we see you, and this is how we see what you want from this show, and we are telling you that it won't happen and we in fact have contempt for the very concept."
Why do you think they kept baiting the ship until the literal last lines of the show? They were making fun of us. They were saying "Ha! You still thought this would happen? After years of us saying it won't, to your face? Idiots." It's a comedy show, and they were making shippers the butt of the joke. They've been doing it for seasons now.
This is literally what Supernatural did back in the day. And nobody said that they made Destiel canon when they had an in-universe/alternate-universe stage play where the actors "explore Destiel". Fans back then recognized that it was a joke at their expense. That's what this is. Same as what happened in BBC Sherlock that one time, where in-universe conspiracy theorists said that Sherlock was in love with Moriarty (a ship the creators deliberately baited, mind you, same as they have here), specifically for the purpose of laughing at and making fun of that theory.
I'm so sorry, guys. I know you wanted to hope. I know you wanted to believe that the things the writers said at that con weren't true, but they were. I know because I wanted to hope too, even when I knew full well it wouldn't happen. They've been plain about how they feel about the ship for years. They saw it as a joke, one that drew in viewers, but was objectionable at its core. And they've followed through on that by baiting and jabbing up until the very end.
#WWDITS#WWDITS spoilers#Wwdits finale#Wwdits s6#Wwdits critical#Nandermo#At this point im glad to be done with this fucking show. Its been declining in quality for YEARS#Its treatment of women especially has been getting really bad#And the jokes have gone so stale#All things that they acknowledge with their characteristic ``lol that was the point`` attitude in the finale#I never ever ever want to watch a show just for the promise of a ship ever again. This has been a waste of my damn time#I wasnt even going to watch season six. I just wanted to know if they would actually go canon in the finale#And what do i get for my time and energy? Made fun of#Really living up to your name as The New Superwholock. Thanks WWDITS for a good first 3-4 years. I will treasure those
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Raph is literally his pet project
#doodle#comic#rottmnt#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#yes their autism vibes goes so well together <3#raph just does whatever that Donnie has never considered it before#he HAS to see how it plays out#and raph is a really good listener#cause Donnie just goes into his science rants and raph is prolly the only one to just stand there#he’s not processing info#but damn is he listening
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Erik when Charles showed him the brightest corner of his memory system and telling him there’s good in him:
#i think charles was one of or even the only person erik felt comfortable being vulnerable with#he’s gonna be tucking his hair behind his ear like radio rebel#damn i really need this scene but moira never interrupted#we could have had cherik kiss in 4k 😭😭#‘theres so much more to you than you know not just pain and anger there’s good too i felt it’#going crazy about these gay people#trying to distract mysekf from the sadness that is looming over me right now 😥#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#professor x#magneto#wish does not shut up
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i know its a classic. possibly cliche already. but i do wonder about Tumblr In The Death Note Universe probably more than i should
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💅 toxicbff Follow
if i see one more post attributing kira's powers to ~supernatural powers~ instead of the obvious fact that the cia is doing a coup I'm going to start giving You the heart attacks
💅 toxicbff
of course i saw the news how does that not prove my point further
the idea that all the police around the world could be mobilized by one single person is ridiculous (just look at this list of how many civilian militia there are globally)
heart attack victims don't seize the way "lind l tailor" did
i don't know how to tell you that You Can't Kill People Just By Knowing Their Name And Face because this is Real Life and not the newest grimdark marvel villain
people need to stop being scared of the ~bogeyman in the closet~ and wake up to the fact that usamerica is trying to take over the goddamned world
💅 toxicbff
im going to kill you all and nuke this website
#sayonara you weeaboo shits
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👾 lets-go-geeks Follow
DO TRUMP NEXT
🕵🏾♀️ penny-penelope Follow
LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST
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❤️🔥 lovesickened Follow
i know its stupid but im so fucking scared for my brother i heard that seven people died this week at the prison he's in and iinjust dont kenow what to do ihate him for ehat he did to mom but i never wanted him to die
#vent tw #delete later
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🏎 fastandyurious Follow
if i get a single more comment about why i don't tag "genderbend" on my kiratective fics i'm going to blow up the entire building. we don't know EITHER of their genders. why don't YOU tag your mediocre yaoi genderbend instead
🔆 sparkling-world Follow
…OP, you realize the news reports all consistently use "he," right?
🏎 fastandyurious
of course i do???? just because you see something on the news doesn't mean you have to believe it?????? they don't have any information on kira yet but i'm supposed to believe the fbi knows their gender already??????? also kira is literally a fucking girl's name my classmate in elementary school was called kira
🔆 sparkling-world
Kira comes from the Japanese romanization for "killer," it isn't gendered whatsoever.
Also, evidence shows the majority of serial killers are male, so I'd argue that the statistics favor the fujoshis here.
🏎 fastandyurious
well evidence shows that female serial killers are just more fun to write about and I'd argue that you're ignoring my fucking POINT which is that we DON'T KNOW KIRA'S GENDER and if people don't want to read lesbian kiratective they can FUCK OFF MY BLOG
🥚 i-offer-eggman Follow
I offer you an Eggman in these trying times.
🔮 I-stands-for-le-gay Follow
@lashitpostcalligrapher yo can i get "the statistics favor the fujoshis" on my tombstone
#fandom: kira rpf #ship: kiral #never heard it called kiratective before… #also uh. prayer circle for op's classmate lmaoooo
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💃🏻 modelingmadness Follow
BOYCOTT EIGHTEEN MAGAZINE
THEY ALLOW KIRA-SUPPORTING MODELS AND ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS MASSACRE
SOURCES HERE AND HERE (TRIGGER WARNING: KIRA DISCUSSION)
PUSH BACK AGAINST HEART ATTACKS
🧚🏽♂️ harubaru Follow
golly gee ^_^ suddenly i feel like taking to the high seas in a way that the eighteen company cant get profit from. oh no ! who left this link here
🐦⬛ kuro--misa Follow
thanks for the link but jesus fucking christ man what happened to free speech. misa-misa's parents were killed by a burglar who kira punished. did you all expect her to just sit there, look pretty, and say nothing about it?
you people only like models when they're nice pictures for you to consume. you only like them two-dimensional and smiling and hot. the second a woman actually speaks her mind she's thrown to the wolves
💃🏻 modelingmadness
DID YOU NOT SEE MY BANNER YOU PIECE OF SHIT
#BLOCKED
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🐦⬛ kuro--misa Follow
lol. lmao even
#they blocked me but whatever #official eighteen site just said misamisa wont be in the next issue #(eighteen sucks but i kind of want to use it more out of spite now) #so much for apologism huh? #god. i feel sick. #hasn't she been through enough.
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🥷🏻 kira-imagines Follow
Imagine you're going home after a long day. Suddenly there's a sound. "Huh? Whose there" you ask, dropping your keys on the floor. Then you feel it. A knife pressing in your neck.
"Don't move kitten" Kira purrs behind you. "You're all mine now…"
#kiraxreader #kiraxoc #kira #kira rpf #kira investigation #kira fucker #kira fudger #kira lover #kira haters dont touch #kira haters please touch #kira supporters please touch #l
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asahi-the-student-deactivated201
Hello, everyone! My little sister told me about this microblogging platform (I admit, I'm a Twitter refugee) and that many of you are discussing the Kira investigation on here. I'm really interested in hearing what your thoughts are!
💋 sunny-sayu Follow
let the record show he lasted like. a day
#i think it was the imagines that did him in #bro is so sensitive :p
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kiyomitakada
the world could be beautiful
[ @deathnotetober day 14: trigger ]
#death note#light yagami#sayu yagami#misa amane#lawlight#by uh. technicality.#does 'trigger warning' fit the prompt i hope it does…#also there are two (2) rickrolls in this post#the other links are all to actual fun stuff :3#good luck#deathnotetober#edit: fixed the FUCKIGN reblog dividers GOD DAMN IT#unreality#caps#edit 2: fixed the reblog dividers again theyre transparent now#…………wow i really just. spent four hours on this huh.#maybe i am experiencing slight mania#only slight#death note tumblr
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in provenance, the impala is depicted as quite dirty and beat-up, scuffed up and covered in mud. this is not the typical image that comes to mind when you say a man loves his car. in later seasons too, the impala tends to look shiny and new, and dean is seen performing maintenance on it pretty regularly—at least, there are many scenes that show dean taking care of it, and there are also many scenes which touch on dean's possessiveness and care for his car.
this isn't the case in season 1. season 1 dean has a beat-up hand-me-down from his dad which he loves and admires but is still willing to let it get dirty and dented and scuffed.
in season 1, the impala represents john.
based on how john talks about the car in dead man's blood, he still has a semblance of ownership over it: john gave dean the car, but he still considers it "his" in the sense that he feels entitled to judge how dean cares for it. dean, too, doesn't argue with this. in season 3, dream dean even uses this against real dean to drag out his insecurities and his abysmal self-esteem:
both john and dean agree that the impala is john's car. this makes sense because the impala is also sam and dean's literal home, or the closest to home they've ever gotten.
you have a good "home is where the heart is" kind of connection here: the impala is home, and john is the impala—john is home, john is their father, john is the thing that connects sam and dean by blood. et cetera et cetera.
so if the impala represents john, then how dean treats the impala gives the audience a lovely visual metaphor for how dean feels about john. provenance is just one episode after something wicked, where dean is finally starting to extricate himself from his father. the entire season has followed dean as he experiences betrayal after betrayal from his father, and in shadow we see evidence that he doesn't actually believe that his father will come to protect them anymore—he's effectively given up on john as someone to rely on, and he's spent the whole season separating himself from john and attaching himself to sam instead. provenance gives a nice wink and nod at this by showing the state of the impala—dean is upset with john, their relationship is crumbling, and dean doesn't know how to repair it.
one episode later john remarks on the state of the car, and one episode later dean finally defies his father for seemingly the first time.
so when dean starts destroying the impala in everybody loves a clown, what dean is actually destroying is john.
he feels angry, upset, hurt, betrayed all over again. john is dead, and his final words to his son gave him an impossible task. dean takes the crowbar to the impala right after sam corners him into another conversation about john—this is an outpouring of his emotions about him, all concentrated on the last remaining symbol of his father.
but what i think is interesting is that sam doesn't see the impala this way.
sam sees the impala as dean. the symbolism here is very, very obvious. if sam gives up on the impala, then he's metaphorically giving up on dean. and sam refuses to let dean die, so he can't let the impala die, either. to sam, the impala is dean. which necessarily means that to sam, dean is his home, as well.
which is exactly what he just chose in the season 1 finale when he picked dean over his revenge. sam spent the entire season scared to "go home," and in devil's trap he finally returns for good to his home—to dean.
and in bloodlust, the impala is fixed, and she's shining like new. from this moment on, dean shows a rather pointed possessiveness over his car.
this is also the first time dean calls the impala "baby." this is the first thing that happens after dean destroyed it in the episode prior. the dissonance gives a sense of rebirth: something happened between dean destroying the impala and dean fixing it. something happened between dean using the impala as a stand-in for his father and dean calling it his baby.
in season 2, the impala no longer represents john. john is dead, and dean killed him. "home" is no longer centered around john; their father is no longer the thing that connects sam and dean. in devil's trap they chose each other, they chose codependency, they created a relationship between them that transcends the family structure they inherited from john. john is not part of this new relationship—it's just sam and dean now, and john is dead.
dean assimilates to sam's perspective when he rebuilds the impala: his car is now an extension of himself, and he is the home that sam chose. this is now his car, not john's; he is now sam's family, not john. and throughout the first half of season 2 dean struggles with this new responsibility and what that means for him—how their codependency should work, whether or not he should try to fill john's shoes, what "home" is supposed to look like for them without john in it.
i think it's an interesting way to depict dean's emotional shift across this stretch of episodes. seasons 1 and 2 especially do a lot of great work to depict john even in his physical absence, from allegorical substitutes to his haunting presence to this, representing him through the symbol of their literal home. noticing this makes me much more emotional about the impala's role in the story, because it's a physical manifestation of the effort dean put in to become sam's home and commit to their codependent relationship. he loves his car because it's his home, and his home is where sam and dean's hearts are.
#supernatural#spn meta#dean winchester#that stretch of episodes from 1.19 to 2.03... damn good storytelling lemme just say that#i've been thinking about this for idk weeks maybe but i didn't really know how to talk about this#it shows considering how fucking long this post is. jesus christ#spn1#spn2#spn posting#.txt
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