#just need to learn how to make patterns...

[e-the-village-cryptid]

#anyone have gnc ideas for cis gals too? 👀 via @v-confused-212

just off the top of my head, not prescriptions for behavior just some stuff i do:

don't wear makeup in circumstances where it's expected of you (or, wear makeup so flamboyant and campy it loops back around to being gender fuckery)

don't shave

honestly for a lot of prescribed femininity you can just. not. who says your hair has to be perfect and your clothes have to be stylish and your makeup has to be present but "natural-looking" and your body has to be hairless. it's your body and your life!

wear men's dress shirts to nice events (I've found men's dress shirts with fun patterns for $6 at thrift stores, def check those!)

cargo pants. cargo pants my beloved. bonus: loads of pockets

reject the idea that there are things you just don’t need to know because you're a woman— notice when you're just not included in conversations like what to do when the car breaks down or how to fix some appliance in the house— get curious, butt in and make sure you're included, if only to listen and learn the first few times!

hey cis people! now more than ever gender-nonconforming behavior is an act of resistance! and it's one anyone can engage in!

[sweet-hedonist]

Lessons in Restraint

Viktor x fem! reader

After losing a bet to your partner, you end up having to deal with the consequences of your actions, no matter how much you beg.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, dom/sub dynamics, bondage

A/N: wrote this in a fugue state at 4am and finished it on public transit, I’m a god of creation lol. Not proofread at all but I like it. This is so horny and debauched have fun. Reblogs and comments make my day (I read every single one)

“You know, it’s incredibly satisfying to see you like this after talking such a big game.” His voice is lilting and thick and like a haunting melody that weaves its way into your brain and doesn’t leave, no matter how hard you try to expel it.

The smirk is audible and as you stare up at this man from your place on the floor, rage bubbles deep within you, flavoring the already cultivated desire that has been driving your instincts.

A bet. A stupid, idiotic, ridiculous bet was all it took to end up here: naked, bound, and kneeling before Viktor as if he were your king.

The bet had been simple.

“You have no self control.” He’d mocked you one late night in the lab as you lay draped over him on the small beat to hell couch they’d brought in for you. Basking in the post-sex glow, you laughed airily, your mind still a bit foggy and blissed out.

“Neither do you. Can you blame me? I’m a girl who knows what she wants.” You punctuated your statement by snuggling further into him.

A chuckle, then “Patience is a virtue. God you’re probably not even able to last a week without needing me.” His hands tracing lazy patterns on your back, sending shivers down your spine.

“Is that a challenge?” Your eyes narrowed at him from your place on his chest.

“Perhaps.”

He’d been right of course. You didn’t last a week without needing him, folding just on the morning of day 6, practically begging him to fuck you, touch you, anything at all.

The smirk that split his face was so vile and hypnotizing that you couldn’t take your eyes off of it. Of course, he obliged and fucked you so good you couldn’t walk for a day.

“You need lessons in restraint, humility. And seeing as you lost the bet…”

Which led you to right now.

Two in the morning.

Completely alone in his lab.

At his mercy.

The soft rope around your wrists and ankles caresses your skin, knots only tightening as you squirm. Wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle, and just for an added kick in the mouth, wrist to ankle. Knees spread and back arched as Viktor sat in his desk chair, which from this angle looked much more like a throne on which an emperor sat.

Alas, it would not be the benevolent kind.

“What, no witty comeback or retort for me? Are you all out of fight? Or are you just learning to mind your tongue?” he leans forward, forehead almost touching yours but not quite. He hasn’t touched you in over an hour. Just lingering stares or fabric or even the occasional breath of air. Nothing else.

“Or…” he leans close to yours ear, “you’re just being quiet to avoid the shame?” White hot fear washes over you. It’s so hot it’s freezing and you want to simultaneously worm away from the sensation and also surrender to it.

“Pity. This is a lesson in humility. Obedience. Discipline. Trust.” His voice softens at the last word and there’s a brief moment where his gaze shifts, full of adoration and love and awe. It doesn’t last long though; enough for you to smile back, and give a quick confirmation that ‘yes you’re ok and want to keep going’.

“Well? Nothing at all?” He sits back up, towering over you and you cannot help but avert your gaze underneath his stare. It pins you to the wall like a pretty butterfly in a shadowbox.

“Unh-unh…” he tuts disapprovingly and it’s all the warning before the end up his cane is tipping your chin back up, allowing you to properly look at him.

“None of that. So rude, absolutely no manners. You should be ashamed of yourself.” He stares down the length of his cane at you, eyes molten and burning as he speaks.

“I…” but there’s nothing you can really say for yourself now. He’s right. As he usually is. You are ashamed.

“No? Not a thing in that pretty little head of yours is there?” He removes his cane from your chin and lets it fall to the floor, hands folding on his lap as he ponders what to do with you.

Eyes rove over your twitching body, no doubt a puddle of wetness below you dripping from your aching core. It’s pathetic and humiliating and some sick fucked up part of you relishes in it. He knows it too, head tilting as he looks down.

“Oh, poor thing. You’re just drenched aren’t you?” the mockery in his voice stirs a frustrated whimper out of you, pulls it from your chest like one would pull a hook from the stomach of fish who’d swallowed it. Bloody and violent and unable to do a damn thing about it.

“Such a pretty sound.” It’s not to you, just musing to himself. You whine again, roll your hips as you stare up at him, hoping he’ll take pity on you. Touch you.

“Viktor…you’re being cruel…” your voice is fucked out and ragged, despite the lack of stimulation. He’s brought you this close with barely anything but his voice and a few lengths of rope. A feat, really. He’ll brag about it for the rest of your life.

“Am I? Or are you just not prepared to accept that your actions have consequences?”

“I just wanna touch you…” you crane your neck up at him, staying rooted to your spot but reaching. He is a planet and you a mere comet pulled into his gravitational field, circling.

He thinks for a moment, you can see the gears working in his head.

“You want to cum?” No one, nor any amount of liquor could get you to admit how earnestly you nodded your head at his words, how desperately. With a quick move you weren’t expecting, he bends forward in his seat and wraps a pale hand around your throat. The sensation is near overwhelming as he hasn’t touched you in an hour, fingers now digging into the delicate column holding up your head.

“I think…” he tilts your head this way and that, ever the scientist, taking in every observation, every bead of sweat, every tremble, “…I have a compromise that will suffice.”

With a bit of a gentler hand, he pulls you forwards by your neck, his own rolling chair moving to meet you as you shuffle forward. He pulls you closer, closer, until his knee is flush with your sternum, and you’re situated directly over his shoe.

Fear washes over you, curls its fingers into your hair, your spine, your stomach.

“You want to cum so bad?” He jerks up his foot at the end of his sentence, bumping it against your clit in a way that has you nearly doubling over and letting out a strangled yelp.

“Go ahead, sweet thing.” Your neck is still in his grip, so you know he can feel the way your pulse races forward like an engine.

“B-but-“ a protest forms in your mouth but it’s squeezed out of you as his hand tightens.

“I’m sorry, but you’re not making the decisions around here. And that wasn’t a request. Do it.” His tone is icy and piercing and it scares you in a way that urges you forward, letting the humiliation continue to worm its way into your synapses.

He lets go, a little roughly, and straightens his back, looking down at you as if you were an amusing pet.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you shut your eyes briefly and take a deep breath, pushing it out rather forcefully.

The first roll of your hips is torturous. It’s friction you haven’t had in hours, so sensitive and swollen that the leather and lace send fireworks through you.

But it’s something, and you’ve been so patient, so agonizingly horny that you’ll take anything. And he knows that.

And the motherfucker is laughing.

“Oh…wow…I didn’t think you’d actually do it. Just so eager to please and be pleased aren’t you?” A deceptively gentle hand caresses your cheek and you lean into it instinctively, the sweetness juxtaposed to his cruel treatment making your head spin a bit.

“What base creatures we humans are. Willing to throw pride and dignity aside all for a biological need to fuck each other like rabbits. All for the pleasure of climax. Slaves to our hormones; all the blood being sent to your swollen cunt, none left for your brain.” The last bit is a coo, a mocking pity that weighs heavy on your sensation addled mind. His hand on your cheek is a cool balm on your feverish skin, tracing your cheekbone in reverence as the words he spits tear at you.

You move faster, chasing the high that is slowly but surely building in the lowest part of your stomach. It’s a dull burn that exponentially increases in intensity and heat. Every word he says is a stoke to the catching blaze.

A low rumble of appreciation stirs from Viktor’s chest, and the pride that swells in you as you look up at his appraising gaze pushes much of the embarrassment aside. The joy of approval, the delicious praise that a mere look can bestow; you need it like you’ve never needed anything before.

“Oh you are splendid, sweet thing. Such a good girl, so eager to please.” His hand drifts to your open mouth, fingers dancing along the pad of your lip. With no other instruction, you lean forward and take two of his fingers into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the digits in such a lewd manner that the workers of the brothels would blush.

There’s a small intake of breath from your Viktor, a brief slip of composure as he stares at you in awe. His eyes sparkle with want and need and adoration.

“You…are perfect, so wonderful for me.” His other hand cradles your head as his fingers push in deeper, pressing down on your tongue slightly. You double your efforts at his sweet words, spurred on with renewed vigor. For me. Yes. For him, always for him, his, his, his, his.

“Oh you liked that did you? You like when I tell you how good you’re doing for me? How beautiful you look there on your knees, fingers in your mouth, truly you put fine art to shame. You were made for this, perfect, so perfect.” He muses, and the heat in your core grows hotter with every breath he takes to speak. Your poor hips are stuttering, so desperately close to cumming all over his pristine leather shoes. Moans spill forth around his fingers as you lose your grip on sanity, oh but what a sweet descent into madness it is.

“Go on. Go on darling, cum. That’s it, make a mess of yourself, that’s it, good girl, oh…” he marvels at you as you contract into him, the force of your orgasm pulling a strangled scream from your lungs. It’s wave after wave of white hot ecstasy, and your hips undulate a few more times as you ride it out, milking it for every last drop. His hand retracts from your mouth and he holds you, cupping your face in his hands.

“Wonderful darling, you did wonderful, absolutely perfect. So good, so good for me.” Fingers card through your hair, hands guiding your head to rest on his knee. You’re grateful for the support, it’s getting awful hard to keep your head up. The thigh of his good leg is sturdy and strong from baring the brunt of his weight. It’s grounding beneath you.

Slowly but surely, your breathing evens out, his hands petting your hair reverentially, holding you as you come down from your high. You stay like that for a while, until your knees start to hurt and your wrists ache, causing you to whimper at the newly forming pain.

“Are you alright lásko? Can I move you?” He whispers, hands never stopping his movements. You nod against his leg, weak but sure.

“M’good. Just go slow.” Your voice is hoarse and crackly from exhaustion. He bends down, kisses your head, and picks it up off of his thigh. With a twist, he adjust his chair so it’s a bit lower to the ground, closer to you. He reaches around, kissing your shoulder as he does so, and unties the ropes around your wrists and ankles. They fall away, and your arms instinctively reach for him.

“Soon, miláčku. Can you stand?”

“Mhm.” He grips your hands, helping you to your feet, and you’re alright for the most part, just a bit shaky. Viktor reaches for his cane, stands, and leads you by the hand to the couch in the corner of the lab. The leather is cool against your skin as he situates you in the cushions.

“I’ll be right back, just getting you water. Wrap the blanket around you alright?” You nod, his voice your tether to reality. In mere moments he’s back with water in hand, and not long after he’s sitting next to you, pressing you into his good side, arm an anchor over your shoulders. You curl instinctively into him, clutching the blanket around yourself.

“Are you sure you’re ok, sweet thing?”

“I’m sure Viktor.” Your voice has returned to you, as has most of your facilities. The weight of Viktor against you helps immensely.

“Wow.”

“Wow indeed.” He knocks his head against yours, and you laugh, snuggling further into him.

“I can’t say I didn’t know you had it in you, because you’re the most in control person I’ve ever met, but holy shit Vik.” The smell of his cologne and shampoo washes over you as you nestle closer into his neck, so ineffably him.

His cheek is pressed to the top of your head as he says , “I hope that is a positive ‘holy shit’.”

“Oh certainly.” You sit up slightly to look him in the eyes, “Vik. That was amazing. I…you were fantastic. It was everything I could’ve wanted.” A dopey smile spreads across your face and you can see the blush forming on his cheeks, the pride swelling in his chest.

“Thank you for trusting me with you.”

“Vik I trust you with my life.” You kiss his cheek, and he chuckles, a pretty sound that you wish you’d hear more often. But as the months go by, it’s starting to become a bit more familiar.

“And I trust you with mine.”

“Yeah but I just use that leverage to get you to bed at night so you don’t die of sleep deprivation.” He snorts as he pulls you in closer to him.

“Isn’t it common practice for someone in your position to nap after a scene?”

You laugh, but acquiesce and snuggle into him further, “you’re just deflecting, one day I’ll fix your sleep schedule.” But your eyes are already closing and his hands are playing with your hair.

“Sure, lásko. Sleep well. I love you.”

You smile, though you’re already halfway to sleep, “love you too.”

[00valentina-writes00]

Abby w reader with ocd?

✞⛧ Abby with a girlfriend that has OCD ✞⛧

Warnings: I don’t have ocd, so if I got smth wrong or it’s offensive please tell me-

✞⛧ Abby notices before you ever say anything. The way you check the door multiple times before leaving, how your fingers hover over objects like you’re making sure they’re just right, the way your breathing changes when something feels off. She doesn’t say anything at first—just watches, takes note.

✞⛧ She doesn’t think it’s inconvenient, just… something to understand. Abby’s all about problem-solving, so when she realizes this isn’t something she can just fix for you, it frustrates her—not at you, but at how powerless she feels when she sees you struggling.

✞⛧ At first, she’s not sure what to do. She’s used to tangible problems—wounds she can stitch, enemies she can fight. This? This is different. But she’s patient. She listens. She learns.

✞⛧ Abby never gets annoyed at you. She gets annoyed at the way the world isn’t built for the way your mind works. When people rush you, when they make careless comments—that’s when you see her jaw clench, her grip tighten.

✞⛧ She figures out pretty quickly what makes things easier for you. If you have to check the door before leaving, she stands next to you, silent, never rushing. If things need to be in a certain order, she respects it. If she moves something by accident, she fixes it before you even notice.

✞⛧ If you have compulsions that hurt—scratching, picking, repeating actions until your skin is raw—Abby’s hands are right there to stop you, firm but gentle. She never shames you for it, just takes your hands in hers, rubs slow circles into your palms, reminds you to breathe.

✞⛧ She gets really good at grounding you. If you’re stuck in a spiral, she doesn’t say stop—she gives you something else to focus on. “Come here,” she’ll say, pulling you against her. “Tell me three things you can hear. Two things you can feel.” She keeps her voice steady, calm.

✞⛧ When you apologize—because you always do—she shakes her head. “Don’t. You don’t have to be sorry for this.” And she means it.

✞⛧ She hates when people treat you like you’re difficult because of it. If someone makes a snide comment about how long something takes, Abby’s right there with a glare that could shut down an entire conversation.

✞⛧ If routines help you, Abby builds them into her life like it’s second nature. You eat the same breakfast every morning? Guess who’s making sure it’s stocked. You need to wash your hands a certain way? She learns the pattern, does it with you sometimes.

✞⛧ When she catches you trying to hide it—masking, forcing yourself to act normal—it kills her. “You don’t have to do that with me,” she tells you one night, voice softer than usual. “You don’t have to pretend.”

✞⛧ If a compulsion is making you late, she doesn’t rush you. Doesn’t sigh, doesn’t roll her eyes, doesn’t make you feel guilty. She just waits. If you’re gonna be late, she figures, then you’ll be late together.

✞⛧ The first time she sees you have a breakdown over it—when the frustration, the exhaustion, the sheer weight of it all crashes down on you—she just holds you. Doesn’t try to fix it, doesn’t try to rationalize. Just lets you be.

✞⛧ She picks up on the things that trigger you before you even have to say them. Clutter? Uncertainty? The wrongness of something being out of place? She notices, and she does something about it.

✞⛧ If intrusive thoughts hit you hard, she’s the one grounding you back to reality. “It’s just a thought,” she reminds you, voice steady. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

✞⛧ When she learns that reassurance-seeking is part of it, she doesn’t mind repeating herself. “Yes, I locked the door.” “Yes, you turned the oven off.” “Yes, I love you.” She’ll say it a hundred times if it helps

✞⛧ She understands that it’s not just about being “neat” or “particular.” It’s not a quirk. She gets that. She takes it seriously.

✞⛧ If something feels wrong to you, she doesn’t dismiss it. She doesn’t say “it’s fine” or “just let it go.” If it matters to you, it matters to her.

✞⛧ She lets you explain things in your own time. She never pushes. Just listens. Always listens.

✞⛧ If you ever start spiraling in public, she subtly shifts into protector mode. Keeps you close, blocks out the noise, finds a quiet place if you need it.

✞⛧ She makes an effort to understand the science behind it. Reads about it. Asks questions. Not because she thinks she can fix you, but because she wants to know you.

✞⛧ When you feel like your mind is your worst enemy, she’s the one reminding you that you’re so much more than this.

✞⛧ She knows when you need space and when you need her. She never takes it personally if you need to be alone for a while.

✞⛧ She has this way of making you feel safe in your own head, even when it’s the last place you want to be.

✞⛧ If you get stuck in a loop, she finds little ways to break it—changing the subject, cracking a joke, touching you. A hand on your back, a thumb brushing over your knuckles, something to pull you out of it.

✞⛧ She never lets you think you’re a burden. Not once. Not ever. “You don’t have to do this alone,” she tells you, and she means it.

✞⛧ Abby doesn’t love you despite your OCD. She just loves you. All of you. The way you think, the way you are. And if the world makes things harder for you? Then she’ll stand between you and the world, teeth bared, always.

[animeyanderelover]

Hi! Can you do prompt 8 with Chrollo? Have a good day!

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, isolation, abduction, manipulation, hints of Nsfw, hints of dub-con

Prompt 8: “Don’t cover my love bites or else I’m going to add more.”

Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @cynniical @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59

Word Count: 2.4k

Prompt 8

Every rustle of the sheets threatened to slash the silence, your movements pausing every few seconds as your panicked gaze darted towards Chrollo. Dark, tousled hair covered his hair, hid the tattoo on his forehead. With his eyes closed and his breath escaping in soft patterns, he resembled a prince from a fairy tale far more than the harsh truth that you too had learned once upon a time. It was this very image of serenity that made you unable to decipher whether he was really asleep or if he was just pretending. Chrollo liked doing that a lot. Pretending to be something or someone all to observe your every reaction.

You didn't dare to crawl closer though to find out the truth. Whether you would risk waking him up in case he was actually asleep right now or his hands would suddenly grab you and confirm that he had been awake all along, all of it would just ruin you the chance to have a shot at starting your day how you wanted it to start. So the only thing you were left with was this agonisingly slow game, stopping your movements every few seconds only to slowly go on after another moment of motionlessness.

As soon as the first sole of your feet made contact with the wooden floor, your heartbeat accelerated. You didn't know why. It was rather stupid after all, the thought that such a simple thing had your heartbeat quickening so noticably within your ribcage. Yet unfortunately your life wasn't that simple anymore, not after everything that had happened. As the second sole of your feet joined the first one on the floor, you couldn't help but start chewing on the insides of your cheek. You just sat there, on the edge of the ned as you contemplated for a while. The steady sound of breaths behind you still hadn't changed yet you didn't dare to let it lull you into a false sense of security.

With one very quiet release of air that was stuck within your lungs due to the tension you were feeling at the moment, you slowly stood up from the ground. The bed groaned as your entire weight shortly dipped into one spot on the mattress before it was gone as you stood up, unsure whether you had done it too slow or too fast. All you knew was that you could only stand there frozen, wiping your sweaty palms over your bare skin as you waited with bated breath. Only once half a minute had passed did you feel courageous enough to take your steps.

Everything was done tentatively and cautiously. Your heels didn’t make contact with the floor, only the front part of your feet pressing against the wood. There was always that short moment where the damp skin of your foot got stuck on the floor, leaving that little noise the moment your feet unlatched from it and even that noise, in another lifetime so insignificant, added to your nervousness. Still you went on, in your own slow tempo. Honestly, you didn’t even know what you wanted to do if you were to succeed and leave the bedroom without waking Chrollo up. All you knew was that you needed to be alone right now and that wouldn’t be possible as long as he was within your vicinity. What you needed was time without Chrollo.

Seeing him, hearing him, smelling him, feeling him, sensing him. All of it would only heighten the fresh set of sore memories that he had recently made with you. There was a new part of your heart that was aching, only one of many bleeding spots within your heart. Maybe it could be mended though if you could have this moment, just one moment, to yourself.

“Where are you going?”

And just like that the hope of healing vanished, your heart silently grieving yet only able to acknowledge with nothing but defeat that another part of your essence had been stolen and corrupted by him.

Who could have known that such a gentle voice could strike so much negative emotions within you at once? It had to be done on purpose. He had to have been awake for a longer time now as the timing of it all was too well done. Just as the tips of your fingers had touched the doorknob, the spark of temporary freedom flowing through you with it.

Unable to answer that question as you yourself didn’t know where exactly you had even planned to go, the only reply you could spontaneously come up with was deafening silence. Any lie that you might come up with, Chrollo would see through immediately. So what would they serve you right now?

“I… I don’t know.”

Your lips moved before your brain had fully caught on to the instructions that your brain was sending as if you had just entered a default mode. It sounded quite pathetic and you dreaded his reaction. You could so absolutely without any of his shallow displays of pity or worse, that earnest curiosity and amusement gleaming within those gray eyes. Whatever emotions you would decipher soon on his face, one thing you already knew for certain. That Chrollo would without a doubt let you know that he had already anticipated your reaction, that he would inform you that he had been watching you. The exact origins of his obsession to always tell you that he had foreseen your reaction and your plans were unknown to you. You didn't know whether his intentions were to subtly inform you that he knew you too well for you to ever have hopes of escaping his tight hold for even one second or if he had other motives, possibly even more genuine ones.

The sound of the bed creaking and the rustle of sheets was what fully caught your wariness, the confirmation that he was not only awake but moving. You spun your body awkwardly around, unsure how to face him after that whole ridiculous sequence of trying to sneak away from him. Immediately you made eye contact with those all-observing gray voids, his gaze searching yours on purpose. It was overwhelming, you were not prepared for his intimate gaze. Not that you were ever truly prepared when Chrollo was around to begin with but especially now, early in the morning and suffering from a queasy mixture of frustration and embarrassment were you throughly unable to hold his eye contact.

Automatically your own gaze fled from his, sliding down. From his muscular torso down to the sheets of the bed, the afterimage of his upper body staying within your mind for one moment longer than you would ever admit. Now at the very least his facial expressions wouldn't haunt you but that didn't erase that prickling feeling that overcame you as his eyes still were focused on you. This was doable though. As long as you wouldn't have to see whatever emotions his eyes would reveal whilst looking at you for whatever it would be, it would only mock you further.

"You don't know?" he hummed amused, repeating your answer after you. His tone gave it already away, that entertained fascination he always felt whilst observing you. Of course he'd react like this, as patient and in control as always. Admittedly, sometimes you wished to get something more out of him then that serene acknowledgement. On the other hand you knew better than to trigger the storm from the calm. You weren't that stupid after all.

You had no intention to confrim what you had already spoken before and Chrollo knew that. For all you knew, he'd probably just repeated your answer loud to let you hear just how silly it sounded now. If that was indeed the case, it had worked wonderfully as you could feel your cheeks growing warm with the shame of being caught.

"Well, what do you plan to do now?"

He only spoke up after giving you enough time to simmer in your own shame and embarrassment, the hot prickle on your neck by now having extended to your face. The air felt hotter, more uncomfortable and you more vulnerable and exposed. You were more conscious of everything and suddenly the fact that you were wearing no clothes had your whole face burning. It was early morning yet already you were physically and mentally bare for him.

"I..."

You didn't know.

You didn't know what you planned to do now. Heck, you hadn't even planned through what you would have done if you had managed to leave the bedroom without him noticing. However, you did not have the courage to repeat the same answer you had already given him for his previous question. Wouldn't that just make you look awfully stupid after all? Chrollo had always a plan, always knew what he was doing. You were nothing like him, you weren't as beautifully composed. No, you were reckless and messy, would never be able to achieve what Chrollo was capable of achieving.

"Would you prefer to lay in bed for a while longer or do you want to start the day?"

As he offered you two possible solutions on what options you had right now, you had to bite your tongue. Two so easy answers to his questions that you had been unable to think of. Really, what else could you have done besides sleeping for a while longer or starting your day? Now whatever you would choose, it would be something that Crollo had chosen for you.

Now, with the two choices presented to you though, you knew at least what you wanted to do. Because you couldn't start your day like this, already outsmarted by him. So with heavy footsteps you made your way back to bed, still refusing to meet his gaze. The softness of the mattress and the warm sheets were only a shallow comfort for you, especially the moment his firm body brushed against yours as he shuffled closer, just shy of pressing himself against you.

Warm fingertips started tracing the outline of your body, sliding smoothly over your curves. That little touch paralysed your entire body shortly as vivid memories of the previous night returned.

"You're very mobile despite our indulgences last night. Should I be glad or disappointed about that?"

You felt it. You always felt it when his gaze was trying to meet yours, wanting to figure out what your opinion on a specific topic was. Not because it could possibly influence his opinion but simply because he wanted to know. You couldn't suppress the little gulp that you did, the muscles within your body tensing up as his palms rested on your hips, pulling you closer to himself.

Whilst your own brain was still trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy him, your body already reacted to his unwanted touch. Your palms manoeuvred themselves within the cramped space under the blanket up to his chest, resting flatly against it. This simple yet very telling gesture had Chrollo stopping within his movements, observing your hands as they pressed against his chest before gray eyes darted to your face.

Your own vision was focused on your hands as well, silently furious that your body had made a choice whilst your mind had been too busy scrambling for a way to appease Chrollo. Yet the sad truth was that your own wishes and desires would never be his priority. Not as long as he didn't see the advantage that he would earn in the long run. For the first time that day you finally dared to look him into his eyes with as much emotional preparation as you could gather. Almost immediately you wished to wither away as those analysing gaze met yours. He was doing it again, you could tell. Whilst the true depths of his mind were places you would never be able to understand or dive into, you knew that he was calculating again. Weighting whether obeying your silent plea would promise him a bigger reward later on or if proceeding and following his current desires would provide him with a greater pleasure.

That silence was painful. It was heavy with uncertainty and the knowledge that no matter what he would decide on, you would have to comply with.

Only when his hold loosened and that calculative gleam slowly simmered down were you sure that he had decided against letting sexual desire guide him once more. In the back of your mind you knew that this meant that he would only demand more from you another time but right now, in the present, you felt more at ease with that decision.

You felt yourself almost fully relaxing, only a slight stiffness remaining within your body that had become a constant alert simply due to his presence. Still, it was the closest to peace that you were capable of feeling so you took it. Even as your body was smushed against his, even as you felt the few chaste kisses that he pressed against your forehead and face. Nevertheless, you willed yourself to relax as you closed your eyes, hoping to doze off and start this day again. The words that Chrollo murmured softly next had you slowly opening them again once more.

"The rest of the spiders is coming later today. There's something important that I have to discuss with them. Why don't you come with me?"

The idea of seeing other people made your heart race. The idea of seeing some very specific people again made your heart drop. You got along more or less with all of the spiders, only because you were Chrollo's darling. Yet you would never deny that you had clear preferences with whom you would rather spend your time with. After having been surrounded with nothing but Chrollo for so many weeks though, you would gladly endure Feitan's scary scowls, Machi's sharp glares and Shalnark's eery grins. So you nodded quietly in agreement, already brainstorming what clothes you should wear. As long as you would be able to cover everything up, you'd be good to go.

Another kiss, close to your ears. followed by a pleased hum due to your answer.

"We should make sure that you look extra pretty today then. It's been a while since they've seen you and I want to show them how far you've come since the last time. I'll help you choose your clothes for later."

All semblance of relaxation was gone when his words reached your brain as the familiar rigidness returned, the unease back as if it had never been gone in the first place.

"Wait, wha-"

This time his lips met yours, the sensation as cold and as alienating as always.

“Don’t cover my love bites or else I’m going to add more.”

[crowley-winter-boots]

I would like to add my own take to some of these/further expand on what you have written.

Start stealing things from supermarkets and malls:

I've literally walked out of stores in the mall with unpayed items. Check for the chunky plastic white tags on it, or a silver sticker with a black dot: these will set off alarms when you leave the door and they are very difficult, if not impossible to take off without getting caught by employees. Supermarkets are more iffy, I've never stolen anything from one, but they have more cameras there. Small stores in malls typically don't, at least not any I can see, which I'm fairly certain it is illegal for stores to have hidden cameras. Wear baggy hoodies, you can slip something in your sleeve quickly. Basketball shorts, parachute pants, other bottoms with large pockets are great for slipping something in unnoticed. Also, DO NOT dwell on something too hard. It will make it more likely to get caught- act natural. A lot of people go into the mall just to browse, so it's perfectly normal to walk out without having bought a single thing.

Put stickers everywhere:

It is incredibly easy to make your own stickers. It is better if you have some artistic ability so you're able to format the sticker sheets properly, but it's fine if you don't have those skills. It's like a jigsaw puzzle, you'll have to rotate the images in weird angles and look for patterns of where one nook fits into one cranny. Repeating patterns are good, too. You just need sticker paper, a printer, and an app that you can import photos into and create the sticker sheets: I personally use Procreate, but that's because I use it for artwork and it was the easiest option on hand for me, personally. Ibis Paint X is free, a bit difficult to import photos in my opinion, but it works. I'm sure Word could work as well, though not as well. The less white space, the better, but make sure to leave enough room between each sticker as to have even borders all around. A common mistake I made when I first started making stickers was that I would accidentally overlap some stickers or make them touching.

Learn how to sew:

Here is a punk fashion tip: USE DENTAL FLOSS. I know, it sounds weird, but it's a great option. Cheaper than thread, you can buy it in bigger quantities, it lasts longer, it's sturdier, and overall just a really good option.

Furthermore, since I mentioned a punk fashion tip, I want to add my own way to protest here, as well as other DIY things you can do.

Battle vests/jackets are excellent. I'm making one, as well as my own patches to add to it. DO NOT put political statements or LGBT-oriented things on the back: this can, and will, put you in danger. Not only will you not see someone coming at you, but if someone sees it from the front, they are less likely to actually harm you since you can see them coming. There are some other punk DIY clothing you can make, including crust pants and just homemade patches to add onto something else. You also don't have to fit the "punk aesthetic" to be a punk: it's an ideology.

Some more punk fashion tips: You CAN paint on clothes and fabrics. Just add equal parts fabric softener to equal parts acrylic paints. This will prevent the paint from getting crunchy, make it last longer, prevent it from chipping, allow it to stretch with the fabric, and make it machine washable. You can also make homemade pins: acrylic paint, bottle caps, soda tabs, safety pins, modge podge, and a lot of hot glue. Put the safety pin through the soda tab, and glue the soda tab down with hot glue. Drown that shit in it- may seem unnecessary, but hot glue is stubborn with metal and does not want to stick. Do this BEFORE YOU PAINT, I made the mistake and everything peeled off because it warmed up and stuck to my table. When you're done painting, seal it with Modge Podge: it's a type of glue-like substance that seals paint, makes it shiny, prevents it from chipping and peeling, and makes it last longer.

Engage in art

Art does NOT have to be good. Art is about having fun and expressing yourself. It takes YEARS to become good at it, but even then there is always room to improve. Don't downplay your own efforts because someone else has skills you don't yet have. Get creative. Bring out those cheap art supplies extended family bought you on a whim when you were in grade school. Cut things up and glue them where they don't belong. Spill coffee on it, crumple the paper, and destroy it before using it as your canvas.

Be loud and obnoxious

This is one I'm adding in here myself. The right wants to claim queer people are shoving their agenda down their throats, but then wave MAGA flags and ask for heterosexual pride month? Wave those flags of yours, wear way too many (stolen, or DIY ofc) pins of pride flags and pronouns. Wear pride flags like capes. Dye your hair crazy colours, put on crazy makeup just to go out to the store. Being visible not only pisses off people that don't want to see us, but it also helps other people feel seen and safer. THIS CAN BE DANGEROUS. Like I said with the battle vests, YOU CAN GET ATTACKED.

I've been wearing my transgender pride flag to school. Pride flags are banned from being hung up, but nothing in the dress code prohibits it. This weekend, I will paint "WE THE PEOPLE" on the back of it. Teachers have pulled me aside only on the second day of wearing it, asking why. I've been called an "it" (doesn't misgender me anyway, I use it/its so jokes on them), someone (pitifully) attempted to throw food at me, people have been shouting "what the fuck" and "is that a trans flag?" in the halls, people have been sideyeing and staring at me. There have been good reactions too, of course, but I'm sharing my bad reactions to further imply doing this can be dangerous. I live in central Texas, for reference.

The negative reactions, since they have not directly harmed me, I choose to find funny. I laugh it off. I want people to see that being trans isn't something that can't be erased from existence. I want them to see people like me are not going anywhere.

Survive and be safe

Another personal addition- but DO NOT give up. I know that things are bad, and that things will get worse. But living is one of the things you can do to stick it to them. Listen to "Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance", that song can probably explain this as well. Do not stop fighting, and do not stop living. Be safe, don't put yourself in unnecessary danger in this fight, because it's going to be a big one. Make sure your mental health is good, and if it's not do what you can to improve on it. Don't let the government tell you that you don't have a place here; because you do. Fuck the government. Queer people have existed since before the Ancient Greeks, it's visible in nature all around. Lions and hens have been known for transitioning to male without actually having the male reproductive systems. Penguins and walruses have been known for homosexual relationships. America is built upon immigrants- the original Americans ARE immigrants because they came from Europe to colonize these lands. America wouldn't exist without immigrants.

I hope the expansion on what Kurohe had written is alright/helps out! Be safe out there and be yourself. Don't water yourselves down for the sake of people who don't want to see you thrive.

Things you can do to actively participate in the revolution

Here's the list !

I know some of those will look really silly, i promise they are not. And obviously, this is not a checklist, you don't have to do everything. But they're steps that you can absolutely take if you wish to, and they WILL help.

(i am continually correcting things when people point out mistakes. Thanks everyone for your help)

(under the cut !)

1) Let's start off with a very easy one you can do right now: stop using Chrome. It's a google owned browser, and it sents all of your data towards it. Mozilla is a very good replacement, but almost anything will do, really. We revolting against capitalism as a whole, and this is a good first step

Also, resign your amazon prime subscription.

2) Start stealing things from supermarkets and malls. I am not kidding. Little things, that aren't really monitored: a can of food, a lighter, a pair of socks. Condiments are particularly easy to hide in bags or pockets. Steal hygiene products, steal food.

Remember that you should have access to those for free, and you don't because a few rich guys don't want you to.

Additional tip: train station stores are very easy to steal from, because they're so busy. But don't put yourself in danger. Check beforehand if they check bags at checkout, look out for employees that might notice what you're doing. Don't be reckless.

(edit: this used to also say airports, but i've been told it's way too high risk as it's considered a federal crime. Thanks for letting me know)

3) In the same line, if you see someone stealing anything from a big store, no you didn't.

4) I know a lot of people are scared of disrespecting rules. By fear of being caught, or by guilt. My advice is: start disrespecting stupid, meaningless rules. I don't have specific exemples, but you'll encounter them and wonder why you're doing that. Stop doing it. This will train you to be able to disobey autority way easier.

5) Put stickers everywhere. If you already have them, go ham. Especially on public property (lamposts are amazing). If you don't, buy them from artists or independant stores, not big brands. If you cannot afford them, remember that you can simply write stuff on an A4 paper and plaster it to walls. Or even post its !

6) Carry a sharpie with you at all time, the big black ones. If you see propaganda, scribble it out. Keep a look out for terfs stickers, maga posters, etc. Also good for getting rid of transphobic and sexist stuff written on public restroom stalls !

8) Learn how to sew. I know, that sounds dumb ! But i promise you, not only will it be amazing to trade with other people ("i'll sew back ur shirt and in exchange, you give me a can of peaches !"), corporations also haaaate when you know how to fix your clothes. Because they want you to buy more. You'll spend a lot less money if you know how to fix em

7) Buy locally. This means going to the market or small stores, and thrifting your clothes. If you can't for money or accessibility reasons, try trading with your friends, family and neighbours. Get communication going in your circles, and you'll realise there are a lot of things that you can simply trade with or buy from people around you. Like a jar of jam against some eggs, or a pair of socks for a t-shirt you don't wear anymore !

9) If you have the space and the money, grow your own food, and share it or sell it around you. Be careful, some assholes will call the FDA on you. Do that with people you trust.

Additional tip: growing vegetables and fruits can be a real nightmare. You can absolutely start by just growing some basil or mint :)

10) Organise. Join leftist groups online, even if it's just to see what's being said, you don't even need to interact. Follow creators, repost and share their content. By doing that, you'll stay informed on group movements like strikes, protests and boycotts, which you can then participate in. It's very important you're connected to other ppl and the movements that are started !

11) Unionize. I'm very sorry I don't know the exact way unions work in the US, but if you can, join one. They will help you in times of needs, especially if you're a student or a worker. If you're not sure how to do that, absolutely ask around to people you know are very active politically, around you or online. People will help.

12) Stay. Informed. Follow independant papers and news outlet. If you can afford it, give them a dollar or two. They are fighting everyday for access to unbiased information for all, and sadly, their independance means that they rely almost entirely on donations and people simply engaging with what they put out.

If you can't access those: do not get your news from TV. Ever. Or anywhere else that has been bought by the far right. Sadly, the majority of TV channels are just the worst.

13) Share that information. Talk to those you trust and who are ready to listen to you, and tell them about what's happening. Get angry with them. Revolution stems from people coming together and realising that they're being used and profited off of. Share videos and posts relating to politics, especially informative videos.

And, most importantly: fact check. All of the time.

14) Go to protests ! If you've never been, i know it can be scary. But you can stay in the middle (don't go all the way to the front, that's where stuff can get heated) and scream and walk with everyone else. You'll meet people who, like you, want things to change. Capitalism wants you to stay as unconnected to others as possible, and that's a great way to fight that.

Sometimes, there are sites that have a planning for all protests happening in a city. Look up if one exists for yours

15) Create and strenghten community. I know i really struggled with this one, because it's so vague. But here's a few places you can start:

-Go and introduce yourself to your neighbours, if you deem it safe. Give them a little gift if you can afford it, like a pack of pasta.

-Make new friends, even if they aren't deep friendships. You need connections. Online or irl, both are fine- don't stay isolated.

-If you already have community, go check on them right now. Ask your friends how they're doing, and if they need anything- ask how they're being impacted by what's happening right now politically.

16) Look for ways to fuck over the institutions in easy ways. One example that went around tumblr a lot is letting dandelions grow in your backyard, because landlords fucking hate it. If you work in retail or fast food, cheat. Accidentally forget to scan the diapers. Put in 7 nuggets instead of 6.

17) Engage in art. MAKE art. Music, shitty paint drawings, craft, anything as long as you're being creative. Share it. If you feel like you can't do that, then support artists. Make a point to look up cool illustrations, and new music. Go to the cinema.

(edit: been told that it's very risky for walmart workers to not scan things, so beware.)

If you're an artist currently in an underpaid office job, please, by the love of god, be creative during office hours. You're underpaid, they do not deserve your full time and attention. Take 30 minutes to write that snippet you've been thinking about.

(and actually, if you're underpaid at all: do the minimum required. So that you can't be fired, but that's it. Any more effort is not worth it. Companies will never be thankful for what you do.)

18) Look up books that your state banned, and go read them. You can get them secondhand, or as pdfs online. (if anyone needs ressources, i will glady look for and share them.)

19) Seek education. There's a lot of youtube channels out there talking about educational subjects in a fun way. Some things the rich assholes who run the country specifically don't want you to learn more about are: biology, history and archeology, social and economic sciences. GO LEARN ABOUT THOSE.

And, actually, read books in general if you can. Yes, fanfics count !

The people in power don't want you to be educated. It's why they eviscerated the education system.

20) PIRATE. I cannot stress this enough, anything you can pirate (that isn't from small, indie creators, except if you absolutely can't afford it) do it. Download music illegally, torrent movies and games. If you want access to academical studies and papers, some writers will give them to you for free if you email them about it. There are also ways to go around paywalls.

21) Don't fall for the traps of "progressive brands". Lately, i've seen a lot of praise for Ben and Jerry's for openly supporting lgbtq rights and being globally anti-trump. They are still a brand. Avoid buying from any big names when you can. That being said, if you have to, check beforehand which ones and what their history is. Some are more evil than others.

Additional tip: a lot of brands you see in stores are actually owned by bigger brands. One prime example of this is Nestle, who are fucking evil, but they own a shitload of other big names. Be careful what you buy.

22) I hate to say this, but be prepared to defend yourself. Revolutions are never peaceful. You will get in danger. If you can, get in ok physical shape. If you can't, buy a gun. (Remember Alabama has a 99% acceptation rate, you can get one in 10 minutes.) I hate firearms, but the enemy will have them too. Arm yourself.

If none of those are available options to you, please, make sure you have someone around you that will be able to protect you, or a place where you can be safe. Whether you are disabled, a minor, or anything else. Don't put yourself in more danger than is necessary.

23) Last but not least, be kind. When someone cuts off a woman speaking, interrupt and give her the floor back. Shame those who think it's right to say bigoted shit in public. Listen to those around you. If you can't act, then remember to always have empathy for the homeless, for drug users, for immigrants. Understand they are people just like you. You are not immune to propaganda and prejudice, no matter who you are. Always question yourself and your biases.

(if you've read this far, please repost. We need this to reach as many people as possible)

I want to remind you that you're not alone. I know things seem hopeless, but the simple fact that you're reading this is proof it's not. I don't live in the US, but i'm supporting you as best i can from where i am, and sending you strenght.

If you have any questions, do ask away. I'll end on this image that's very dear to me:

[pepstarvanmoon]

twice is too much

Milkvan and their ‘end of the season love confession’ pattern/coincidence does not hit.

We’ve literally already done this like what is going on. Why have y’all not learned yet. Love ain’t easy, but I don’t remember it being this repetitive.

Stop it.

Why’s it not clicking, why’s it not sticking, why do you two keep having the same issues?

It’s a fact of life that love is not enough for a relationship to work. You need to understand each other, you need to respect each other’s feelings and interests. You should value and trust each other to a point where you don’t have to bother questioning if there’s love because it’s plain to see.

Your face suction and fluttering hearts do not and will not keep your relationship stable. Can you even say what you enjoy about your relationship? Do you even communicate?

“I love her and I can’t lose her again!”

She wasn’t even there for that one 😭 why was El the only one to look you in the eyes and say it? Mike dragged it all the way to the S4 finale just to say it while she was being choked out with her eyes closed.

“This is my last resort!” ass love confession please be serious.

Also…

Glad you were able to recognize it here, bud, my condolences to future you.

(It’s also hard to get over how El looks right before she returns his feelings.

I know it’s easy to say she was just building up courage, but her father died and she lost her powers all in the same day. I believe El was very emotionally vulnerable/susceptible here. She needs confirmation that she’s accepted and loved by someone (a problem that’s brought up again in S4). If you really pay attention to that scene, she moves to leave, fights with herself, stops, and makes a decision to turn back.

I don’t think it’s something she planned on bringing up were she not moving with the Byers and not going to see Mike in person for a while.

It’s the way she looks so conflicted before saying it. She even pulls a ‘grocery store Mike’ and tries to get him to bring it up before doing it herself (I think she even wanted him to say something before she started walking away). Something, I might add, Mike is incapable of doing without being served three Will Byers Pep Talk specials and a comforting hand on his back.)

[seamany]

The post that solved it all for me PART 1

NOT MY POST, THIS IS MOBILEBLACKSMITH2535 VIA REDDIT

(It might sound like I'm yelling at you in this paragraph but these are just things I wish someone told me like years ago) Here is where I talk about everything law of assumption that helped me ACTUALLY become a master manifestor. The law of assumption, as I see it, is the law of being. You cannot experience what you are not being. Coming from a person that used to cry myself to sleep every night feeling frustrated, hopeless, and extremely tired of putting all this effort into something and getting absolutely nothing back, this shit is real. Please do not take this post with a grain of salt. Please do not toss my story in with the probably hundreds of other "I have shifted" threads/videos you have witnessed. If you want to shift listen to every word that I say. I can't explain why we have this power I just know that from November of 2020 to July of 2023 I have been working my ass of to get somewhere, anywhere. In between those 3 years I had an on and off behavior towards shifting. I used to force myself to forget about shifting for a few weeks because it hurt too much to think about it. I felt like I won the lottery and I couldn't cash in the money. It was awful and I wouldn't wish that feeling of hopelessness on any other conscious being. Sometimes I would watch shifting tik tok compilation videos on YouTube and get a surge of motivation that would soon die out along with any semblance of dignity and self-esteem I had left. I'm telling you not asking you to see me as a real completely sane person because that is exactly what I am. Even though I'm creative and spiritual (not religious, spiritual), I can't help but see things logically. It's just my nature. I like patterns, formulas, structured systems, explanations, science, etc. I knew the probability of hundreds upon thousands of people describing in detail their experience of shifting couldn't be a phenomenon but a real...thing. I, for some reason, never doubted the possibility of shifting, more my capability to do it. Along my journey I've had my moments of distrust surrounding shifting in itself, and as I rounded onto the 3rd year of attempts I had increasing feelings of dread and anger. I was angry at the world that I live in, feeling dreadful that I couldn't escape it all. Then on one fateful fateful day, specifically July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am, I shifted. It was easy and it was effortless. Just as everyone says, but that's not something I'd like to focus on in today's post. I'm not making this post to tell you how simple shifting is or to "let go" (whatever the fuck that means) or to change your mindset. Those things are all useless compared to the thing that just clicked for me on July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am. What I am going to tell you is going to be so stupidly straightforward that your mind isn't going to want to believe me at first. You are going to try to make it more complicated than it is, just like you probably did with shifting when you first learned about it. But assure you that you should take what I am about to say at face-value. You don't need to let go, you don't need to change anything about yourself, you don't need to "release blockages", you don't need to reprogram your subconscious mind. You are done. You have your desire already. You are finished and there is nothing left for you to do.

LOOK AT MY PAGE FOR PART TWO

[mariacallous]

I love this comment and I also wanted to pull it out so I can go on about it more <3

It wasn't until I finally was honest with myself and accepted my gender identity that I really actually gave any fucks about personal fashion and style - pre-myself me was very much about function, and comfort, and on what I could get away with. I rarely dressed up or got formal, and I was ruled by the multi-event outfit - jeans or slacks paired with a polo shirt or sweater or sweatshirt depending on if I had class or a meeting or what have you. Working in a homeless shelter also amplified that.

Once I finally confronted reality and fully began to inhabit and realize who I was, I also had to confront the fact that not only would I need to dress more how I identified, but that from that moment on it would be scrutinized and likely attacked or demeaned.

It took a good...year or two of experimenting and gradually being bolder and building confidence to understand fit and comfort and personal preference. For a while I was essentially in a more feminine version of my previous standard, and it was rough for all involved. Between weight and learning and seasonality, it wasn't easy or great.

But eventually, you learn, you grow, you get comfortable, and I began to better navigate everything. (I am being completely serious when I say that transitioning made me more of a feminist, because you get to confront the casual and blatant misogyny combined with the transphobia and other bigotries, and that part of all of that involved confronting beauty culture and the insanity of women's clothing and fashions. I'm not saying I'm the best or even consistent with handling that, but it was eye-opening and sobering.)

And so much of the comfort and growth came as a result of thinking about what I liked while suiting me best, and I've always had an affinity and love for the clothes and aesthetics of the 60s-80s - Joan Holloway became even more of an icon at that point - and so I decided to lean into it, and try to make it work for me but also not be just cosplaying.

I like colors and patterns, the fit-and-flare. And, by making it enjoyable and also something more connected to me and who I am and how I felt, it makes so many other things more bearable. And we all need that, at this point.

I think it's also a matter of just going with it. Some days I want to be like a normie Shiv Roy, some days I'm imperialcore bureaucratmaxxing, other days I vamp and vant to be left alone.

I found out that I can at least have some control over something with my outfits and look, and that while that may be all I have control over that day, it isn't nothing, either.

I also really believe that there aren't many rules when it comes to fashion and style, and that the main thing is to find something you can live with and have comfort with.

[broidobe]

𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔡𝔢

requested by 🌚!

⁎⁺˳✧༚80s-90s rock masterlist

chris is the definition of a deep, soulful lover—he’s thoughtful, intense, and always makes sure you feel truly seen and understood.

he’s not one for over-the-top pda, but in private? super affectionate, constantly pulling you close, tracing patterns on your skin, and murmuring sweet words in that deep, raspy voice.

loves long, late-night conversations—he’d rather stay up talking about life, music, and philosophy with you than go to a crowded party.

he writes songs about you, but he won’t always tell you that outright.

you’ll just be listening to something new, and suddenly, the lyrics will hit a little too close to home.

sometimes he’ll strum his guitar absentmindedly while you sit in his lap, just enjoying the quiet together.

loves making you mixtapes, carefully curating the tracklist to reflect exactly how he feels about you.

not the jealous type, but he notices everything.

if someone is making you uncomfortable, he won’t start a fight—he’ll just make sure they know you’re with him.

big on emotional security—he wants you to feel safe and loved, always.

his love language is probably physical touch and words of affirmation. always whispering things like, i don’t know what i’d do without you in your ear.

runs his hands through your hair constantly. he loves the feeling of it between his fingers.

kisses your forehead a lot, especially when he knows you’re stressed or upset.

he hates being away from you for long periods, so if he’s on tour, expect long, heartfelt phone calls where he tells you how much he misses you.

probably gets you a band tee from every city he visits, so you have something that reminds you of him.

if you’re ever feeling insecure, he’s the first to shut that down—he’ll tell you exactly why you’re incredible in that soft yet firm voice of his.

chris is annoyingly good at everything—like, you casually mention wanting to learn guitar, and suddenly he’s effortlessly teaching you, making it look way too easy.

“i bet you can’t cook.”

chris: proceeds to whip up a five-star meal like it’s nothing.

he’ll make deep, poetic statements out of nowhere, and you’re just standing there like, bro, we are in a taco bell drive-thru.

accidentally makes everything sound like song lyrics. you call him out on it, and he’s just like, i can’t help that i’m profound.

he 1000% sings to you in the most ridiculous voices just to make you laugh.

you’re trying to be mad at him, and suddenly he’s serenading you in a high-pitched falsetto.

says he’s “just messing around” on the guitar, but whatever he plays sounds like it should win a grammy.

if you ever try to sing along to one of his songs, he just gives you this smug look like, oh? so you think you can hit that high note?

if you put on bad music as a joke, he will roast you mercilessly.

this is an insult to soundwaves.

you can’t get through a grocery store trip without him sneaking random things into the cart and trying to convince you that you need them.

chris, we do not need a 10-pound bag of gummy bears.

always steals your snacks. if you leave something in the fridge, you better put a label on it, or it’s gone.

if you fall asleep on the couch, he takes the worst pictures of you and pins them on a bulletin board with some sort of note.

your album cover just dropped.

claims he’s “bad at technology” but somehow hacks into the hotel tv so you can watch movies for free.

blames the dog for everything. left his guitar pick on the counter and now it’s gone?

must’ve been the dog.

if you ever lose something, he’ll pretend to be a detective about it.

interesting… you last saw it on the table, but now it’s gone… have you considered ghosts?

if you wear his clothes, he’s like,

wow, that looks better on you. guess i’ll never see that shirt again.

you accidentally trip over something.

i always knew grace wasn’t your strong suit.

will make fun of you for something dumb and then immediately do the same thing.

wow, you can’t even open a jar? proceeds to struggle with the same jar for five minutes.

chris cornell: poetic, soulful, but also a complete pain in the ass in the best way possible.

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

You will never walk alone OP.

I have just finished my jwcc rewatch. If after jwcc alone someone told me that Ben ends up getting a girlfriend, I would assume that they haven't seen a single episode of the show.

Benrius this Benji that. I don't care. Ships ultimately don't matter.

Ben has at least two scenes in which his dialogue (in my opinion very seriously) suggests that he is a queer kid. Thinking about "there's nothing wrong in being different" in season 1, and "figuring himself out" in season 4.

But the thing is. It's not just dialogue that queer-codes him.

His entire character arc heavily relies on him "being different", "standing out", going against the crowd. He only ever fully feels like he fits in in season 5 - at the end of his journey. This is literally an average queer teenager coming out of his closest experience - we all struggle(d) with feeling just a bit different, even if we were accepted into the group, even if we were supported. We still felt (still feel) that sometimes sets us a little bit apart from the norm. This is Ben's entire character starting from season 1. You could argue that all of them need time to learn how to operate within the group, and that's true, but Ben's always been an odd-ball and you can't argue that.

"But what about Yaz and Sammy? They are a canon sapphic couple and their character arcs don't follow the same pattern." Yeah. So? First of all, not every queer kid's experience is the same. Second of all, notice how by the time feelings started to bloom they were already a solid part of the group. It certainly gives a sense of safety and comfort. Ben feels different from the beginning and more importantly is treated differently. Sammy grew up in a loving environment. For Yaz the most difficult part - opening up - was already done in season 1. So yes, obviously they are not in the same situation as Ben.

ALSO ALSO. I still strongly believe that Darius, Yaz and Sammy's reaction in Chaos Theory, also confirms that they also considered Ben to be queer. Why else would they be so shocked? They know Ben inside and out - they know that his an amazing (if only a bit weird) person and an incredible friend. He is easy to love once you get to know him and they know it. So why would they be shocked?? Not because they think Ben is unlovable, but because they didn't suspect him of ever getting a girlfriend.

I have a theory, that the writers absolutely know that Ben was read (still is!!) as queer-coded and they acknowledge that. If he really has a girlfriend, I will be disappointed because I bet it will be shown as "haha, you didn't think it was true". Like... Yeah I didn't think it was true because it doesn't make any sense. the shock value will fall flat because, I kid you not, other than his two lines about his girlfriend, the entire show suggests he is gay. He never gave bisexual or pansexual vibes (and I say that as someone who looooves to put a "pansexual" label over my fav characters). If his girlfriend turns out to be fake... I'm instantly curious how it will be explained, how Ben will behave. I don't think he lied, so it would mean that she is a fraud, a catfish or a spy. I think it would be an incredible thing to explore in the show tbh.

I thought it through and through. I rewatched jwcc with Ben's girlfriend on my mind. I still believe that he is queer-coded.

I will never hate on the writers of the show if his girlfriend turns out to be true. Hell, I will probably even end up liking his girlfriend (I just want him to be happy guyssss) but in my heart he will always be a metaphor for a queer kid learning how to face the world with the love he carries.

Guys pls tell me I'm not alone on this:

Pls tell me I'm not the only one who still lives by the "Ben's girlfriend is fake" truth. It's just that Ben liking girls sounds so surreal for me lmao.

Sometimes I think I might have hallucinated all his coded queerness. Maybe we all made it up? I don't know, seriously

Oh but what about he being bi? I swear,,, as a bisexual myself this man is not bi coded for me. Also having a girlfriend doesn't make him bi if nobody confirms his bisexuality or represents it on the show. So, no.

Concluding, I think if she ends up being real I'll pretend nothing happened, ignore it, and be delusional bc if not I would be sad so this is how I cope 👍 :D

And don't get me wrong, I would NEVER throw hate on her if she ends up being real, bc it doesn't makes sense. She is just a character, she doesn't have control over the narrative.

[zerogutzz]

hello everynyan. I've been alive and well and thriving with my boyfriend who's been at My House :] but other than thag IM ATTEMPTING TO MAKE A COSTUME WITH MY BEAR HANDS.... I sewed the hood a little bit.

this shit HARD!!! but very fun

[puppppppppy]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[c0exiist]

Setting aside her meal for a little break, she took a napkin to clean herself up before pausing and narrowing her gaze at Akash, “I’m sensing a pattern here.” she said at first with a grin. “It’s either I’m right or not wrong...What does that tell you, hm?” She wanted him to acknowledge his self-awareness, but at the same time she wouldn’t mind if she had gotten credit as well for making him realize things about himself. “Yeah, but it’s okay to fall sometimes…” Her voice trailed off as she initially felt the same way. The end of her career was a massive fall, to the point where she didn’t think she could bounce back from it. However, life had a way of turning things around when she had least expected it. It wasn’t easy, but it took a lot of resilience and self-preservation to get by. “What matters is either how you land or how you get up. It starts and ends with you, but I also believe you don’t have to go through it alone.” 

Confused at the refusal of an incentive, Catriona was just about to argue with Akash, but his ultimatum made her realize that she had to show consistency and dedication if she wanted this to work. “Fine.” she agreed. “Thanks...I’ll owe you somehow.” She looked forward to their session as it was not only a new found skill, but one that would be useful for her strength training. 

When Akash considered the idea of trying something new during his so called staycation, it was evident that it piqued his interest and so, the ex-equestrian pushed further by adding, “Right? There’s no commitment, just a new experience and learning opportunity whether it be about yourself or a skill or a new set of knowledge…For instance you can help out at my clinic or at the stables? At least that will give you purpose, but it’s more so you interacting with the animals and horses to get your mind off things. They do need enrichment through human interaction.” A sheepish smile appeared on her lips as she added, “I promise, I won't let you do any of my work for me.”

She then nodded in understanding when he opted to think about it. Again, this was still progress at the end of the day and so, his consideration definitely counted for something. Looking away, she sighed and murmured, “I know.” Pausing, she did appreciate the little reminders as it did ground her back into reality rather than thinking negatively. Following his hand gesture towards the food, Catriona laughed as she gestured a nonchalant wave to dismiss him. “I’m psychic.” she jokingly said with a cheeky smile. “As long as it's delicious and you've eaten then that's all that matters."

Akash exhaled, a quiet breath that carried more weight than he intended. Self-awareness, action—he knew the process. Knew it in the way he built cases, deconstructed arguments, and handled clients who wanted miracles. It was easier when the stakes were external, when the problem belonged to someone else. Applying that same clarity to himself? That was different. "You're not wrong," he admitted, rolling his shoulders as if shaking off an invisible weight. "Acknowledgment is easy. It’s what comes after that people tend to trip over.” Himself included. He wasn’t blind to the way he rationalized staying busy, how work made for the perfect distraction. But there was only so long a person could sidestep the truth before it caught up with them.

Her joke about him being convincing earned a small smirk, but her hesitation didn’t go unnoticed. He didn’t make the offer lightly—if he didn’t want to do something, he wouldn’t. And despite everything, he found himself not minding the idea of training her. Maybe it was the structure of it, or maybe it was the reminder of something tangible, something real beyond paperwork and courtrooms. “You don’t have to pay me,” he said simply. “If you’re serious about it, we’ll figure it out. Just show up and be ready to put in the work.” It was how he functioned—discipline, consistency. And if it helped her, even better.

The staycation topic was easier to entertain, though the idea of treating a break like an actual break still felt foreign. “Trying something new,” he mused, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “That’s… not a terrible idea.” The notion of exploration, even in a smaller capacity, intrigued him. It wouldn’t be Monaco, but maybe that wasn’t the point. “I’ll think about it,” he finally said, and for once, he meant it. At her thanks, he met her gaze, something quieter settling between them. “It takes time,” he acknowledged. “But if it helps even a little, then it’s worth saying.” There was something to be said for having people in your corner, even if they didn’t always know how to accept it. "Now how did you know this was exactly what I was craving when you showed up today?" He asked gesturing to the delicious food she'd brought with her.

[actual-corpse]

Saw a YT vid with the title, "Fandom Can't Handle Asexuality"

You're right, they can't... Because it doesn't fucking exist to them.

[sesamenom]

anyone know if bookbinding glue works on canvas? im thinking i want to add a shield to my halloween costume next year and am trying to figure out how to attach the front

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'