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prolibytherium · 1 month ago

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I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?

Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate

-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)

-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.

-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.

Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.

-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.

But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')

In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.

All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.

-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?

-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.

I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.

WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.

And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.

Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.

#Sorry this turned into a 100000 word essay on The Iliad it can't be helped #I read Circe by the same author and thought it was like.. better? Definitely not great just less aggravating and kind of boring #Just rote 'you heard about this villainous woman from a Greek myth... Here's the REAL story' shit #It did have a few things I thought were good I remember it starting kind of strong and then just going limp for the remaining duration #I think part of it is that in that case she's expanding on a figure that Didn't have a whole lot of characterization in the source so #like. She had to actually Expand The Character #Again Silence of the Girls is the only Greek Mythology Retelling I have like....positive?.leaning positive? feelings towards #I've got BIG issues with it too but it does pretty much the exact opposite of everything I'm mad at SOA for and in some very #compelling ways (it's just that the author seems way more interested in Achilles and Patroclus than The Main Character Briseis #to the point of randomly starting to have Achilles POV interjections (which I thought were Good in of themselves but #really really really really really really really didn't need to be there) and then get kind of lampshaded by Briseis narrating 'I guess I #was trapped in Achilles' story the whole time lol!!!!!!')#It undermines the book on both a thematic level and just like. a construction level like it's real sloppy at times.#Also the Briseis POV sometimes has these like really out of place Author Mouthpiece Moments where she's very obviously #Stating The Point to the audience and it's like yeah we get it. We get it.#Wow in the scene were our mostly silent enslaved protagonist removes the gag from the mouth of a dead sacrificed girl as a #small but significant act of defiance and grieving in a book called 'Silence of the Girls' you inserted an ironic repeat of the line #'silence befits a woman'. in italics even. Thanks for that. I could not possibly have grasped the meaning of this scene if you didn't #spell it out for me like that. Thank you.#Actually hang on the only Greek mythology retelling I have unequivocally positive feelings for are the 'Minotaur Forgiving'#songs on 'This One's For The Dancer And This One's For The Dancer's Bouquet'. Fully love it. Like not just as songs I think it #does function well as a narrative and engages with and expands on the source in really beautiful and creative ways

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alongtidesoflight · 19 days ago

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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything

#datv #datv spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard #oh wow i hit a limit typing this #anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven #ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games #but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland #i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it #and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim #and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly #but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this #game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans #and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently #i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into #it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me #but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can #i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them #but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking #and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it #i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing #you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that #really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it #aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed #thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age

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rxttenfish · 2 months ago

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merfolk in general are just. horrible horrible polyglots. their brains are already hardwired for language and quick language acquisition that remains active all their lives, further helped by retaining a high neural plasticity for their long lives, and especially enjoy complex language and language-based play and problem solving. but they also tend to have a lot of their society arranged where there's often multiple different languages at play within the same area, and only really stops being so once you get into especially small villages that have below the merfolk norm for outside contact. every merfolk alive today knows at least two languages, but most of them know far more than that, especially because one of those two will be the common-technical language. its been standardized and wide-scale implemented across the merkingdom after their dominance, to help bridge the gap between these different languages, basically as a successful version of esperanto. but its a trade language, and is mostly used for information you might want to reach as many people as possible, such as laws or business dealings or public announcements or the like. most merfolk don't view it as and don't treat it as a language proper, and its not what they prefer to converse in if they have another choice, usually finding it pretty limiting and restrictive, which is why its called common-technical.

miranda, being a royal who is regularly in contact with many different people around the merkingdom and regularly expected to be fully able to converse with them to do her job, knows just. so many languages. i might be changing exactly how many soon, but last time i counted it was in the low teens. like its just a perfect storm of her brain being wired for swift language acquisition and having a job that requires it and a position that means shes constantly around people from all around the merkingdom. not to mention having to know english too, which isn't just not her first language, it's not even her fourth language.

meanwhile, aaravi knows english and a little bit of hindi, less because of her mother and moreso because of her nana... its not that her mother never used it with her, but she was. less focused on using it or teaching aaravi, let's say. nana mishra uses it a lot more and is more interested in teaching aaravi when she asks her, especially in the intermittent period after her mom died and nana mishra was able to come back into her life to help aaravi pick up the pieces (though not after aaravi kind of. got left on her own. for an unfortunate amount of time). its just also fallen by the wayside with aaravi's whole Everything Else and kind of having a hard time accepting her nana's help and kind of being terrified of her (of no fault of her nana's, aaravi's just. she's just really traumatized after Everything, alright. having someone try to offer her help afterwards, especially when aaravi's scared of getting singled out as half human and half monster, is just. it's not something she can bring herself to trust.)

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt #aaravi doesn't trust people doesn't like people doesn't want to be around people #there's a reason she and miranda mutually trusted each other more in immediately having an antagonistic relationship #and its because she just can NOT trust any freely offered help #it HAS to come with a stipulation or a catch #and it was easier if she felt like miranda was presenting the catch upfront #like say what you will about miranda #but she IS someone who screams ''you CANNOT trust me'' on first brush #and exactly in the way you expect: the merkingdom #its not very hidden at all its just not clear which WAY itll fuck someone up #which is ironically also why miri gets frustrated if she feels like someone trusts her too immediately #because like #its right there #can you not figure it out. do you not realize shes got other stuff attached to her. that you shouldnt fall for the bait immediately.#can you not see the hook she'll catch you on. can you not even see her for that much that she is.#this isnt against her role as a royal its a part of it too tbh #the image she presents is very much intentionally both alluring and threatening #awe and fear you know #the royal family wants to be beautiful and great and impressive and far more than you will ever be #and they want you to know if you step a toe out of line they will destroy you utterly and parade your corpse through the streets #its not a paradox its very intentional to keep people on a leash #its just the landfolk who seem to forget that her position as princess is also an implicit threat #which is all distinct from when she wants to be silly and carefree and just maybe. free from that need to always behave properly.#which ironically aaravi also seems to hit far more accurately than anyone else #because she doesnt just want to discard the latter. she wants to discard the former too.#which is why aaravi often teases her at the same time and pokes and prods her #its a playful vulnerability you know. if shes not being threatening shes not being too impressive to touch either.#she wants to roll on the ground and for you to call her so pretty and a silly princess and to get lightly wrestled #you know. its two different things.

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hella1975 · 5 months ago

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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours #which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart #not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently #EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that #there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM #THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS #and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME #LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED #so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour #like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally #have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week #but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN #and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE #FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR #AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill #it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about #and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors #and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593 #my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it #bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment #i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time #i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin #and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day #omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES #LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS #hella slaves to capitalism

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tj-crochets · 9 months ago

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Went to the doctor just for a check up and he basically just told me "your body just processes sugar very well! :) :) :) It's a good thing! :) :) :) It can't possibly be the source of your symptoms even though eating fixes it :) :) :)" But there was also a moment when talking about my iron deficiency that is possibly one of the funniest things a doctor has ever said to me, up with the cardiologist who said "you're a medical mystery": He was going over my blood test results, and said "Your iron levels haven't gone up at all, they are still extremely low, but you're not anemic anymore" And I was like how am I not anemic anymore??? And he said "Your hemoglobin levels have gone up...somehow..." while frowning at the blood test results on his computer. It was very "somehow, palpatine has returned" lol

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #food mention #he did at one point say the iron issue is probably an absorption issue #which. give this is either my third or my sixth absorption issue (depending on if you count electrolytes)#I'm not exactly surprised but I'm also not thrilled #at some point it stops being 'your body is very good at processing' and starts being #'your body just yeets all nutrients out of it!'#I am on two different medications to make me retain salt more #like. one that is 100% the entire reason I take that med #one that that's a side effect of that med strong enough they thought I shouldn't take both together #until they did bloodwork to check (and found it was appropriate to take both)#and I STILL need a RIDICULOUS amount of salt #and sometimes! even with two different meds and like four different kinds of salt pills! I straight up do not retain salt!#I get super dehydrated and cannot fix it for days!#and I am more tired of it than I perhaps realized #just real tired of doctors going 'your body is just so efficient at processing :) :) :)'#I am already doing all the low blood sugar things. smaller more frequent meals lots of protein lots of complex carbs #not looking for advice just wanted to share the 'somehow...your hemoglobin has gone up'#because I do genuinely find that really funny

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vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago

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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place #there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end #locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time #to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it #for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay #(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda #but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy #with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed #and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha #he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was #(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person #even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then #(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again

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morzowo · 10 months ago

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so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others

and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him

okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'

#last twilight #to clarify it's more about time skip and the talk at the end of part 2 bc yea ofc mhok also changed throughout whole series in general #the fact that 'growth' for mhok was equal to getting a job just doesn't sit well with me #his sister killed herself bc of their financial problems and then they put sole responsibility on him for providing for himself and day #and it felt like it was about more than just day's disability #like ironically his mechanic friend offered more support and understanding than most of the other characters #what kind of 'growth' is uprooting yourself and leaving everyone behind when you are still in vulnerable state and need someone to rely on #it would make sense in other story with other character but here it just hurts #i do have some other problems with the series as a whole but nothing that wasn't said already #everyone is angry at part 4 but end of part 2 was the breaking point for me #moving out for work is extremely lonely and alienating experience especially when it's not even to a country you particularly care about #what is the lesson here with mhok's plot line?#to completely isolate yourself to heal from your trauma somehow without anyone close to you?#and oh yea job being the most important thing for 'personal growth' actually?#in hotel in hawaii nonetheless...#i'm getting so tired of these series not being able to stick the landing fr

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truethes · 1 month ago

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so, um, does this mean that everyone who fancies someone from fontaine is a monster fucker ...

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#HI GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED MASQUERADE OF THE GUILTY #( ignoring the puddle of tears behind me ) ... hi.#it was me i need to make this joke to survive #that was. such a good story im so wtf rn . i get how this and penacony came out on the same fewmonths like. the storytelling in both is #beautiful. absolutely beautiful ....#furin.a is literally in my top 5 characters atm. neuv.illette love grew even stronger #will there be things to write. maybe in the future but tonight. tonight is time for me to do something while i ponder on this.#ironically for my serv.amp mutuals going into furi.nas inner world was. um.#def felt like my lich.t moment. was expecting lawl.ess to get on stage #glad lich.t wasnt there to spectate but #even hed be on furinas side and more mad at the gods ...#this was all very good. ski.rk is amazing ily #so many answered and unanswered questions my dear lieges ...#spoilers /#just in case

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llilychen · 4 months ago

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it’s really sad that i always looked forward to rhaenyra and/or alicent scenes last season but i now feel the urge to fast forward every time one of them comes on screen

- every alicent scene is her looking sad or crying or her with cole but nothing she does adds anything of value to the plot

- we get the same black council scene in which the men are undermining rhaenyra twice per episode and still nothing is done (i do believe she will make some progress in the next episodes but it’s just so boring to watch her have the same scene over and over again)

cersei and dany i miss you both so much

#and there are other characters in the show that are so much more interesting but but don’t get the screen time they deserve #and i know that they’re women and they have to face these struggles for it to be realistic but they did that last season too and they found #a way for it to not be repetitive #but rhaenyra just being so soft and always looking for peace is just so frustrating especially after how season 2 ended up #and obviously she’s the rightful heir and the better option for the iron throne but oh my god they have made her character so uninteresting #to watch #and i really liked rhaenyra in s1 and i thought she had a lot of potential as a character #in a show where the majority of the characters are supposed to be morally grey (even if done clumsily) she doesn’t stand out #and what has become of alicent is worse because she’s not even doing anything anymore but she’s still being forced into the story #with random plot lines #i wish they would just let the characters be and give them as much screen time as they need #and i don’t want to watch a show about good team vs bad team i wish they have given rhaenyra more complexity #because even though aegon sucks and they made him the worse thing a person can be and unredeemable #i am unfortunately not bored whenever he is onscreen #and i think so far they have established that the targaryens suck so many times even if they do good things every once in a while #aegon sucks viserys sucks aemond sucks dany sucks daemon sucks #all of them to different extents and in different ways ofc #but let my girl rhaenyra suck a little too because she deserves it 😫#she lost her father her son her daughter her throne let her be a little more like she was in the book #she was not a saint and her character deserves to not be reduced to being a good peaceful queen #hotd negativity #anti hotd #i must also say that i am a casual fan im not here to make analysis of the characters or discuss whether plot lines from the book should #have been changed #im not watching the show critically and this is just something i have noticed and has bothered me every time a new episode drops

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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 5 months ago

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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭

they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃

#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start #and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded #and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin #also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades #and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town #and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order #like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently #he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional #i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2 #which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh #i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death #and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells #and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll #he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah #hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo #i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol #maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao #but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire #and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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blackjackkent · 7 months ago

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OK, the Underdark bit I've been most worried about for Rakha...

"Ah! A visitor! You're a welcome sight!"

Rakha is on guard immediately meeting this man. The only other such person she's met before - Wyll identified them as hobgoblins - was Ragzlin, one of the three leaders of the goblin camp aboveground. This fellow, though, smiles brightly at her and turns away from the large stack of books he has been examining, with no trace of hostility or malice in his manner.

"But," he goes on cheerfully, "let us observe the customs of the locals."

Narrator: The scholar's brow tenses. His voice spills into your skull, the spores connecting mind to mind.

Rakha squeezes her own eyes shut as her brain seems to vibrate with the man's voice. Blurg, proud member of the Society of Brilliance, at your service.

Then he flinches back and groans, rubbing his temple. "Hgn--nzzt. Or perhaps not. Your mind is far more complex than that of the fungi."

Rakha opens her eyes slowly. Society of Brilliance. She recognizes that name, too - the trader on the road to the creche mentioned working for them. The trader Rakha killed for being an ass to Lae'zel and threatening to steal a githyanki egg.

The man seems harmless, but she does not trust him. "Were you here when the duergar attacked?" she asks carefully.

Blurg smiles ruefully. "I observed the fight from a distance," he says. "Combat is not my field of expertise, but the myconids handled themselves well enough." He gestures around him. "My colleagues and I are working to improve conditions in the Underdark. This need not be such a dire, hostile place."

Rakha considers this, then relaxes slightly. Whatever this Society might be, Blurg does not grate on her the way Esther did; the beast urge remains at its low-level hum in the back of her mind.

Blurg, on the other hand, is looking at her with sincere interest. "It's curious to find a surface dweller here. What has brought you down so deep?"

(A/N: As usual - Rakha's primary resemblance to Hector is that her inclination is to be completely honest roughly 100% of the time. However, the only honest answer here goes straight to the tadpole; I think Rakha would have been more likely to talk about Moonrise Towers and their destination.

I know why they did it this way - bc they're setting up Omeluum's arrival - but it's always a bit annoying when the exact conversational tack I want to use isn't an option. Cos realistically it's already been established that telling a stranger who knows about such things that you have a tadpole is a recipe for being treated like a ticking time bomb. But we work with what we've got. XD )

"A mind flayer infected me with a tadpole," Rakha says with a slight shrug. She doubts this man will know anything about what that means, of course - and if he does, his reaction will probably be only fear. But there's no more point in sugarcoating the situation here than there has been anywhere else.

To her surprise, though, he perks up curiously. "Truly remarkable! But why come to the Underdark where they hold so much power?"

Rakha blinks. Curiosity is not the reaction she expected. And she can't help wondering if there are answers to be had here.

Explain the whole story.

Blurg listens with intent interest as Rakha, in quick clipped sentences, lays out the state of their adventure so far. He clicks his tongue thoughtfully when she's finished. "You were infected by an illithid tadpole? It's a miracle you're still intact. You must be worried sick - but have no fear! I have a friend who may be able to assist!"

Before she can ask him what she means by that, her head rings as the hobgoblin gives a shout through the connecting network of spores around them. Omeluum!

A pause - and then another ringing mental voice, this one lower and more resonant than Blurg's. I hope this is important, Blurg. My zurkhwood samples need constant attention.

"It is!" Blurg says excitedly, abandoning the mental communication and calling down the pathway behind him. "This adventurer has an illithid tadpole inside her head. But she hasn't turned!"

"No ceremorphosis?" says the deeper voice, now aloud as well. Rakha turns in time to see the new arrival--

"That's impossible," the mind flayer says placidly. "But intriguing. Are you looking to have it extracted?"

All of them go completely still, staring wide-eyed - for a moment too astonished to react.

Lae'zel finds her voice first, and her tone has gone ice-cold with trembling rage. "Ghaik!" she snaps. "Your head will make a fine trophy for my queen!"

"Please - hold," says the illithid; its tone has a muted urgency that might be a panicked shout in any other race. "I understand your rage against my kin. One of my brethren forced a tadpole into your eye - or ear, perhaps? But I assure you, I stand with the Society of Brilliance, not the colonies of my people."

Rakha barely hears him. Her heartbeat feels suddenly very loud in her ears, rage suddenly consuming everything else. Her vision pales out and the beast roars in her head. ENEMY. KILL.

She trembles with the urge to leap forward as she did back on the nautiloid, to hurl itself at this creature that is like those who captured her and destroy it, rip the tentacles from its head and shove a knife through that gaping maw of teeth beneath.

But--

She looks past Lae'zel's seething expression to Wyll behind her. He knows the hunting of monsters, but he has gone still with an expression of wary curiosity. He hears the same thing she does - there is something different about this illithid. Something strange, a mystery that tugs at the rational part of her mind.

And if she fights here, it might turn the myconids against them. And she does not wish them dead; she wants to bring them Nere's head and purchase another moment of peace.

"The myconids wouldn't appreciate us fighting here," she rasps out, her voice strained with the effort of resisting the blood urge. "I'll listen."

"Fool!" Lae'zel snarls. "They infest your head and invade your dreams, and still you would parley?"

Rakha ignores her. This isn't about the illithid, not really-- it's about the strangeness of this moment, and her need for answers, and her own inward struggle. It's another moment where the beast has wanted to kill and she has held it back, which is a sort of victory.

She half-expects Lae'zel to attack regardless, and hasn't quite decided whether to stop her. But Lae'zel remains still; her eyes are burning like coals with frustration... but she follows Rakha's lead and waits, a hand on her sword but leaving it undrawn.

The illithid seems to relax slightly. "I ask only that you refrain from violence," it says gravely. "I respect that your opinion of my kind may be... charged." It takes a slow, careful step forward. "If that settles matters for the time being - would you like a diagnosis? Open your mind to me. Let us see what lurks within?"

Rakha's jaw sets tightly at once. She has many invaders already in her head; she does not need another. Certainly not an illithid. "Never mind," she says curtly. "I'm done with mind flayers touching me."

The illithid tilts its head to the side. "I see," it says. It does not seem bothered by her attitude - but there is an odd air of regret in its monotone voice. "I will remain here... if you change your mind..."

#bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge #whoo boy :P #i went around and around on this one #part of rakha really just wanted to rip omeluum up on sight #which is like... fine if that's what she needs to do - i'm trying not to be too precious about her killing npcs besides the companions #but tbh especially as she's starting to resist a bit more her giving in to the urge is often the least interesting option :P #and (as writer86 pointed out to me) her curiosity/needing the facts is one of the things that most works against the urge for her #and omeluum is decidedly weird enough to spark that #there was no way she was gonna let him poke around in her head tho :P #so i guess we get to find out if good ol' omelette shows up at the iron throne even if you didn't do his act 1 quest

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