#just my issues
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hh oh i hit the tag limit
#void again#on top of the last void post ive been jus hyperaware of just how things affect me#i wanna make it clear this post wasnt because of her this is just me#just my issues#she did give me a bit of a wake up call though#a wake up call that yeah reminded me of not a good person#but also showed me just how much i look at the past#just how often im anxious because of my past experiences#someone could say something so vague and yet it reminds me of really bad times so i panic a bit#for example#i had this one instance in which someone in a gc needed someone else to listen to#they were expecting me to listen to them but i wasnt in the right headspace to listen to someone elses#problems so i expressed this and muted the gc#when i came back to the gc they were very upset i ignored them and thier problem#one of the few times i had tried to look after myself and it backfired on my horribly#that made me feel so incredibly guilty for it from then on#i cant remember how the rest of the chat were at the time but#anygay if someone dms me now wanting an ear to listen to their problems i will feel so bad if i ignore them for even 5 minutes#my past experiences on the internet and with internet friends have completely ruined how i make friends#how i keep friends and even how i phrase things#the bird bitch ( ex ) left a huge mark on me too like this#they misconstrued my words and phrases so many times and make it seem like i said something i never intented to say#they did this so very often that now i am so careful with phrasing#im walking on eggshells sometimes with it#on top of all that my goddamn hearing loss is biting me in the ass#i have to hear something than understand it then process it at least 5 times over in my head til i can#get a response#a n y w a y s#all that to say im tired and im going ti bed for real now#time to dream kf baizhu
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
#adhd#autism#Dad: Don't worry little man it's super simple! Just let me - the figure you seek support from - tell you to not be afraid#and then - stay with me here! - juuuuuust do it!#voila. my job is done you're welcome have fun doing all the research and figuring out without issue now <3 no problem#(and no of course I won't acknowledge your previous adulting accomplishments bc that's just expected stuff anyway)#||#vent#i guess? man#i don't have opinions or feelings on the internet often but man
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#oh..okay#this just explained like 80% of my childhood trauma#neurodivergent#autism#actually autistic#autistic#sensory issues
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i love when characters get angry when they're frightened. shelter dog characters. i love when they bite, not able to tell the difference between a hand that feeds and a hand that strikes. there is no difference. a hand is a hand is a fist. i love characters that are deemed unadoptable. unlovable.
and i love when someone loves them. i love when someone sits with them, patient. they don't flinch at the snarling and snapping. they're not trying to fix it—there's nothing to be fixed. this is you, all of you, and ill wait. because one day, one day you'll take the treat. go on, draw my blood. spit and curse and rage. you're safe with me. one day, you'll feel safe with me.
#savrambles#im in a Mood#thinking about my actual dog with actual behavior issues#and shes such a sweetheart but she was also a stray#and learned to defend herself the only way she knew how. with teeth#and i looked at her in that little cage. all raised hackles and curled lip and sad sad eyes#and i knew. i just knew. kindred souls and all that#ANYWAYS
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Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"
#linguistics#gen z slang#english#as people in the reblog pointed out!#most gen z slang comes from (or was appropriated from) aave#honestly I was just excited to talk about how people in my field actually get excited about non standard uses of English#instead of ridiculing speakers#and I tagged incorrectly and didn’t point out the very real issues of language and power and appropriation inherent in modern slang#in that much of it was appropriated#and even that which experiences language change in the wider culture still originated in aave#aave is just as linguistically valid as any other English dialect because it is a proper language#and the grammar is incredible!!!#habitual be is fantastic and an excellent example of how a richer case system or a certain case can render an adverb unnecessary#and the phonology is just beautiful#anyway I’m very sorry#I fucked up
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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
#writing#fic writing#like this is stuff i'm doing for fun with my perfectionism meter turned down as far as i can get it#and i am still thinking about it A LOT#talk to me about how in red string fic jgy perceives the memory block both as syrup and as mud but nmj thinks it feels like blood#it's just a thing in their heads that mentally feels kind of thick and sticky but they both made something different of it#it's about issues with cleanliness / lies as a way to craft an illusion of a better lopking world vs the constant violence nmj lives in
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this is entirely petty and personal but i cannot stand the word "whump" it's like unalive to me. just say you enjoy torturing your favourite character so that you can nurse them back to health again like a sickly baby bird they're not real it's okay.
#🐉#like its not in any way actually a Moral Issue it just feels infantilising to me specifically#i acknowledge that its a useful shorthand for the phenomenon of enjoying hurting your guy to the end of achieving comfort and catharsis#but it sets my teeth on edge and makes me go ew. ick.
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Chara knows something that we don't, methinks...
BONUS COMIC
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#chara#susie deltarune#ralsei#yeah the mirror aesthetic wasn't JUST for show#I knew from the start I wanted to incorproate a maze into this dark world as a way to split up characters#and make them confront their internalized issues#it's traumatizing#but also healing in a way#buuuuuuuut we don't know how kris and frisk have been dealing with this#they might have a lot of baggage to take care of....
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GLORY TO THE RISEN GODS
#everyone is obsessing over the new companions meanwhile me:#and yeah i drew these based off 3 dimly lit screenshots so they're probably inaccurate. do i care? no!<3#my art#dragon age#dragon age 4#dragon age the veilguard#da:tv#what is the correct tag. idk#evanuris#ghilan'nain#elgar'nan#<- i hope :)#alongside the egg on this game's roster of antagonists we have: eldritch horror lesbian and evil divorced father#absolutely obsessed with them#man they scene where they come out of the fade from behind solas has been replaying in my head nonstop since i saw it#also just wanted to point out that they said on the q&a that all ancient elves eventually go bald. but elgar'nan actually has hair in the#closeup. therefore i honestly think it's a skill issue on solas' part#also no one pay attention to the fact that i haven't posted art in like 5 months lol <3
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mdni - implied fat!reader x bluecollar!simon riley drabble - simon is a bit of a creep also lol
Bluecollar!Simon Riley whose house floods so he has to spend the next few days in a cheap, seedy motel
First morning there he's leaving for work just as the sun is rising. Its hot, humid, and he's a shitty mood because he'll be working all day and it's only gonna get hotter
Simon Riley who smokes a couple cigs before he goes, sitting on a plastic lawn chair on his concrete faux patio when he sees you
You're flustered, damp with sweat and skin sun-kissed. You've got a laundry basket on your hip and immediately he's imagining a baby there instead. His baby.
Simon Riley who's shameless about staring at you struggling with the laundry door, dropping your clothes and giving him a view of your wide hips and plush ass in very short pajama shorts
You're so flustered:(( nearly in tears while you pick everything up. The shorts are a little tight, a little worn, and the thin material gives him just enough of a view of your pussy that it sustains him the whole day :')
All he can imagine is coming back and sinking into you :') not even necessarily fucking right away, but keeping his cock warm and relieving the tension in his body. He deserves that, no?
He's not creeping, necessarily, when he takes note of the lotion you use. Vanilla. He just happened to be having a smoke and walking right by your window, where you've got one foot propped on a chair rubbing it into your skin.
Your room is tidy. Despite the stained walls, cracks in the ceiling and overall dingy-ness, you've managed to make it look cozy.
New sheets, a fluffy blanket, string lights strung across the wall. Beside you, lotions and creams and washes - he snorts a little to himself. The bathrooms here don't have any counter space or mirrors to set them down on.
But his house does. In fact, most of his shelves are empty everywhere. His pantry, his closets. The only thing he's got are work clothes and beers in the fridge. Maybe a stray heel of bread.
Simon Riley who decides he'll have you move in before he even talks to you, before he starts memorizing your schedule on the weekends and evenings he gets home. You're struggling, on the edge of homelessness, but he knows you'd be the perfect wife and mother. That you'd bring light and warmth to his house, fill those empty shelves and empty rooms...
#i usually try to keep it body neutral but ??? i realize its ok for me to write about my body type#idk i have issues with my confidence so need#simon to just move me into his house#LOL#cod x reader#cod mw2#task force 141#141 x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#blue collar simon riley#18+ mdni#dubious consent#drgnfly writes#fat reader
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.
its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.
“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.
#this has been building up in me for a bit#i was talking to my mom and she brought up a concert we went to and i have zero memory of ever going#huge chunks of my life are just. gone.#every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it#memory loss#memory issues#cognitive issues#cognitive decline#cognitive dysfunction
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There's something especially biting about people telling transmascs specifically to unpack their misogyny.
After so long of being yelled at or berated by my mother. Looked at with disgust for not shaving my legs and yelled at when I cut my hair, guilt tripped into wearing makeup, and being told any masculine dress was "not socially acceptable." All things that actively hurt gnc women as well as trans people. All things that are misogynistic to imply women have to do.
Every time I try to come out as trans: "I wish you weren't ashamed of your femininity, I'm so heartbroken that you hate women. You're only trying to become a man because you think women are inferior." Following it up with a "why can't you express yourself as you are and just be a gnc woman..." As if she didn't just mock me for those exact traits.
My mother, and by extension TERFs (as my mother is one), constantly imply that the only reason transmasculine people exist is because they are poor little girls who struggle with internalized misogyny. They need to embrace being the gnc women they truly are~ And the gnc women need to fix their internalized misogyny by being more feminine~
So imagine my frustration when the communities I assume to be safe for trans people (both irl and online) hit me with the "transmascs need to unpack their misogyny :/" "a surprising number of transmascs are misogynistic actually :/"
Everyone needs to unpack their misogyny dipshit. The fact that transmascs are singled out specifically leads me to conclude one (or both) of two things:
You have encountered a shitty transmasc person and have taken it upon yourself to decide that the entire transmasc community is like that. I'm not saying misogynistic transmascs don't exist, but if you see someone with a bigoted worldview and go "well this is indicative of the entire community" you are the problem.
You think transmascs are misogynistic for getting gender dysphoria around things that are feminine or conversely, they are misogynistic for getting euphoria around masculinity. This is just straight up punishing trans people for being true to themselves.
Both of these are transphobic arguments and are common TERF tactics to discredit trans people. I do not trust you if you hold the opinion that misogyny is more prevalent in transmasculine spaces than in society at large.
#this is a kinda all over the place rant#it's just frustrating to constantly hear my community singled out for an issue that is much more prevalent in other communities#and it just reeks of that subtext that transmascs are only trans because they hate women#transphobia#transandrophobia
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weeeee off the strings
#theres a ton of issues but i just wanna get it over with xp#animation is hard#rain world#moon rw#looks to the moon#five pebbles#pebbles rw#iterator#rw#my art#animation#rain world animation
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it’s so indicative of some peoples’ views of disabled people (and disabilities in general) that they’ll think their PETS are faking a disability. i just saw a video (tiktok of course) where the creator said “every time i start to think my cat is faking his blindness, he does something like this” and the video was of a cat trying to get down from a low shelf. he was unable to reach out and feel the floor with his paws, so was extraordinarily hesitant to jump down. and i had a moment of “aw poor kitty” and immediately followed by the thought: “why the fuck would anyone think a CAT was faking BLINDNESS?”
it’s completely nonsensical, right? how could a cat fake any disability? the vets diagnosed the cat with blindness for a reason. and why? why would a cat fake blindness? for what purpose would a CAT have to fake blindness? it’s a cat. IT IS A LITERAL CAT.
and then i realised that the creator of the video was projecting their beliefs regarding disabled humans onto their cat. clearly, they must believe that at least some disabled people are “faking it” and therefore their cat must be “faking it” too. i can only imagine that the cat has adapted to his blindness and is able to navigate well enough that it can appear as though the cat can see, similarly to how blind people learn their house/workplace/etc so well that they can navigate without the aid of a cane or other assistance.
and obviously that means that the cat (and, therefore, disabled people) must be faking it.
#this is a long and nonsensical rant but like. do you understand my anger here?#maybe it’s just a cat. but maybe it’s indicative of a much larger issue.
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