#everyone is obsessing over the new companions meanwhile me:

[zaahvi]

GLORY TO THE RISEN GODS

[doodle-zombie]

Lamia Bonding Drama

Finished RP with @theriverpersonshadow that turned into an absolute monster once we both sat down and started it. I think we finished this in under a week? The final word count is...25,546 (after some editing by me).

The only warnings that may apply are for language. If anyone has any triggers please let me know.

It's so long that it's under the cut.

Caring Coils was having one of its community events this week. While the shop was always open to the public (within business hours), the weather had been nice lately and they’d managed to rent out some outdoor space in a local park. The Lamia were absolutely loving it, in their own ways: a hoard of miniature pygmies were chasing after an RC car “driven” by a bitty Papython and actually driven by a Honeybo, the trees were draped with various Lamia but especially Chains, one of the larger rocks in the area had become a community nap pile for Cornies, and no small number of Kraits (and Oozy) were enjoying the pond as a few Mambas terrorized/were terrorized by the local goose population, thankfully far from the rest.

Nikolai was a mixture of happy and absolutely harried, trying to keep track of everyone who’d come. Some Lamia had opted to stay inside, like Hux, and some were too young (Piper was allowed to come, barely), but the park was absolutely teeming with various Lamia. It made his soul swell to see them so happy, but also, he probably needed to deal with the goose situation on top of general PR.

Keith was hanging out near the edge of the park, draped in a tree and soaking up some sun rays. Trousle was hanging with him - pun intended - and looking at the humans as they passed into the park, chirping out hellos with his little speaker. Piper, meanwhile, had claimed a bird nest as “his” and was enthusiastically showing it off.

“Oh! Look! That human has one like you!” Trousle said, tugging lightly at Keith.

Keith looked over towards Val, giving a wave. “Yo, nice to meet ya. Name’s Keith.”

“Look! I’mma mom!” Piper chirped loudly as his little lungs(?) could manage. This is clearly a child in a bird nest.

“Hello human!!!”

*

Valerie adored her boys and did whatever she could to make them happy but this was, admittedly, more for her than it was for any of her boys. She had joined tons of different groups geared towards Lamia, including a site that allowed her to see when a center was having any special events, and she stalked those sites when she had a few minutes to herself. It was through her obsessive need to stay on top of all things Lamia related that she heard about a center that was having a community day.

And it was open to the public.

Marmalade watched, so in tune that he picked up on her excitement before any of the other boys, as she prepared for a trip. It wasn't too far but it was enough distance that she was careful to pack a cooler full of snacks and blankets to create a nest in the back of the van. Because it was a given that Currant would be tagging along and Sangria would be the guardian of the property while she was away. His Mamba brother took his duties incredibly serious and he had a prankster Corny to watch over and a recovering Pygmy to take care of. Val left instructions on what to do if she wasn't back within a few days, leaving behind a phone she'd picked up just for them.

None of them liked to be away from her with no means of making sure she was alright, Marmalade didn't blame them.

Despite being the largest in the house, Marmalade had made no secret of his desire to go with Valerie and Currant on their trip. He coiled on the back seat, soaking in the light and enjoying the breeze, while Currant claimed the front seat with a nest carefully crafted. Val filled the trip to this community day with belting along to whatever song played, nudging Currant until he joined in and beaming at Marmalade in the mirror until he went along with their shenanigans.

Stars, he adored his bondmate.

Their arrival was met with little fanfare. Currant wanted to stay in the van, unwilling to risk getting lost or injured by whatever was going on at the park, and the windows were left cracked for his comfort. Val gave his skull a pet and eagerly left the car behind, Marmalade tagging along at her side. It was clear that all the Lamia were enjoying their time outside and he snickered at the sight of a cluster of Mamba trying to assert their dominance over a flock of geese.

Sangria would have been absolutely delighted to show the smaller Mamba how to go about proving their superiority.

Marmalade found his gaze drawn to his fellow Chains, draped across tree branches like, particularly strange vines. Val must have felt his curiosity because her gaze was also drawn towards the trees and she gave a delighted squeak. Her soul pulsed back pure joy at him.

"'sup," he drawled, acknowledging Keith's greeting. "'m marmalade."

"Ohmystars," Val breathed, clutching her chest. "You are just the cutest little thing."

Which Lamia was she talking to? Well, all of them if Marmalade had to guess.

"y'all don' get out often, do ya?"

*

"Not really! It's big out here!" Trousle said. If he was being honest with himself, it was kind of overwhelming. Thankfully, Keith didn't seem to mind hanging around with him, and it was nice having a familiar face as he tried to get used to it. Mostly he worried about how his speaker would work. It was small enough to be portable... for a normal-sized person, but it'd be a pain trying to carry it around at his size. But there was plenty to do just here! People to talk to, things to climb and play around in, it was all so much and it was great!

"They say 'm too lil. But I'm not! Not a hatchling! Nuh-uh!" Piper said. He grinned down at this human and looked at "his" eggs. He couldn't actually keep these, so... He slithers down to Valerie's level, tail wound around a tree branch while he makes grabby hands her way. The little one looks like he's got some scales stuck to his skull and arms, but a closer look reveals that they seem to be growing there (though might be in a shedding phase right now too, based on the flakiness). He chirped for her, little tongue darting out to catch the taste of the air.

Keith just chuckled at the little one. "Nope. What can I say, I've got my dice inside." He yawned and readjusted himself on the branch, muscles rippling as he found another position. "But it's pretty nice out here honestly. At least right now. It gets dang hot sometimes." Which might explain why there didn't seem to be many Firerings. While they probably would've enjoyed the usual summer heat, it'd be uncomfortable or even possibly deadly to those around them. "Heh, where y’all from anyways? I don't know you." The other Chain's scent was unfamiliar to him, and they were kind of the place to get a well-cared-forlamia in the state. Marmalade might've been a little roughed up from hunting in the woods, but he didn't really have the look of a rescue, and the linger scents were new too.

*

"nah," Marmalade teased, sockets narrowing as he smirked. "yer jus' small."

And adorable. Marmalade was so accustomed to being around smaller Lamia that he felt an instant need to protect any smaller Lamia around him. Lapis was the smallest at home and Marmalade often kept him safe from predatory birds and other larger creatures that might make a snack of a Lamia. Keith keeping Trousle close was something Marmalade approved of, it was what made Chains so reliable as companions.

"You certainly don't look like a hatchling," Valerie complimented, putting her hands out so he could slither onto her. Honestly, the spattering of scales upon his bones was beautiful. Val found the scales of Lamia to be incredibly pretty. If they didn't turn to dust when they came off, she would be tempted to collect them. "But your scales are really pretty! Currant would love you, he'd think you were a little gem."

Marmalade found Keith to be a little strange, for a Chain, but he figured that they couldn't go out into the woods from their center. It was the part he loved about his territory, there were so many huge trees he could climb and bask on. Plus, the rock that Sangria often showed off on when Valerie was taking a break from work. In fact, all the Lamia around here were pretty immaculate. He didn't see any signs of scars or any hints of lacking care.

"val drove us here," Marmalade shrugged. "we're a coupla states away, middle a nowhere. my home center was in a big city."

*

Trousle let out a breathy attempt at a "Nyeh", huffing. "That's not my fault! I was born small! I'm a good size for a Papython bitty too!" Though sometimes he did feel a little out of place with most of the DnD group being full-sized, but being small just meant he had more things to look at and slither into! More to explore, and a lot of puzzles just getting around!

Piper enthusiastically wound his way on there, letting out little chittering purrs as he accepted the compliments. "Thank you! You've got pretty too!" He was idly playing with the fabric of her clothing, but his eyes were on her hair. A stray strand caught his eyes and he zoomed up, pouncing for it and squeaking as he overshot, grabbing onto the back of Val's clothes as he fell. "I'm 'kay!" He said, little claws helping him climb up to her neck. With a little purr, he settled in against the warmth. "Smells nice."

Keith was gently stroking Trousle while watching Marmalade, curious about this other Chain. "Really? Huh... you're from far out, ain't ya? I haven't gotten around much myself. What can I say, I'm a bit lazy." That was a lie, partially. Part of him wouldn't mind getting out and about more often, see more of the outside, more of the world. He was old enough that he was pretty sure Nikolai could get some stuff sorted for him if he asked, but leaving would mean not living with Hux anymore, almost certainly. Hux didn't exactly want a human, and he seemed perpetually peeved at Alex...

"How'd you two meet anyways? I mean, like... How do you know?" He'd assumed he'd known, but Alex never said anything, so maybe he was just getting desperate. Could it work that way? Nikolai had assured him it couldn't, but he was too nervous to bring it up. What if she was avoiding it for a reason? "Ya seem pretty happy."

"Keith hasn't found his human yet," Trousle said.

Keith looked to the side, unwilling to dump his anxieties on the little guy. He wasn't leaving. Period. No reason to worry him.

*

"jus' kiddin', kid," Marmalade laughed. It had been a few months since he'd last been around a Papython, his home center had a high turnover rate for them, and those that were old enough to go tended to get adopted faster than he could learn about them. There was nothing wrong with Trousle, if you asked Marmalade, and he would have liked to talk more with the little guy. But Marmalade was a stranger to these Lamia and he didn't want to cause any fights by climbing into a tree with the Lamia here. "yer decent size. bigger than lapis at home."

Heaven. This must have been heaven. Valerie was very used to having a Lamia slithering on her, Lapis did it all the time, so she wasn't phased in the slightest by the little Pygmy darting around. She laughed as he zoomed, looking over her shoulder and putting a hand under where he was dangling. Affection filled her at his little compliments, her fingers gentle when she rubbed his little skull. "Thank you, sweetie."

Marmalade glanced over to Valerie, blinking as she cuddled with the small Pygmy. He could feel the waves of affection that were rolling off her soul in gentle waves. It wouldn't have surprised him if every Chain around could feel how much she adored the little guy. Well, he should have known she wouldn't be able to resist.

"you'd get along well with Currant then," Marmalade said, studying Keith carefully. Huh, a Chain that just... didn't know how to tell who his human was? At least Marmalade was used to offering advice, usually to his housemates. "she came in for a coral bitty, originally. an i jus' knew she was mine. soon as i saw her. she knew i was hers right after i bonded with her. val's more in touch with her soul now."

He looked at Val, the happy smile on her face as she pet the small Pygmy. "she's the best thing that happened to me. A real gentle soul, patient too. she even adopted the mamba from my brother clutch."

*

Trousle grinned, typing away. "Yes! And thank you! You seem good-sized yourself! I guess I'm just not used to being places where things aren't all bitty-sized. Well, other than the DnD table! And the humans. Humans tend to be human-sizedfor lamia, though children of course are smaller." All was forgiven, just like that. "It's good to meet you! Have I introduced myself? I'm Trousle! That little one is Piper, and this is Keith."

"You're welcome!" Piper chirped. He grabbed at one of her fingers, holding it to him to nuzzle against it. A few of his loose scales flaked off which was met with little sighs of relief - those had been itchy! "Like you! You like games? One time I got to be a dragon! I was the boss! Rawr!" He tries to roar, but it's squeaky and he devolves into giggles.

"Oh geez, that was sure an interesting session," Keith said, laughing at the memories. It was an absolute mess and it was amazing. "We let him join a DnD game once, he was my little Co-Dm."

"Mm hmm! I was the Boss!"

"He was also the dragon they fought... And the trickster god that our cleric summoned. Who immediately attacked his own follower."

"Was a mouse!"

"That it was." Alex had been playing a Mousefolk cleric and used a mouse toy as a token, so really that was almost set up that way, and it was hysterical.

Keith turned back to Marmalade, "I run a DnD game afterhours for some of my friends. Alex is a new girl, or was I guess? She's been visiting a while, seems pretty nice. Brought us Peanut butter and chocolate no-bake cookies, and wasn't gonna say no to that!"

"They were delicious!" Trousle said. "Liam tried to say he brought them, but he'd just stolen them! Nyeh! He's so silly!"

"He got caught pretty fast. But yeah," Keith said. "She, uh... seems nice. Like, real nice. But I don't think she thinks I'm anything special. Other than a good DM of course, and hey, what else can a nerd ask for?" He was hesitant to outright say it.

Sure, most of his friends were technically special needs in one way or another, but those were just surface level, right? Having a faulty soul-bond meant something was deeply wrong with him, not to mention he hadn't even tried until then.

Keith was idly clawing at the bark, muscles tensing and untensing as he slowly swung there, filling moments where he wasn't talking by humming the same few bars of a song.

If he was going to tell someone, maybe it ought to be them? Marmalade didn't ask for that though, and that's a lot to put on someone. But who else could get it and not have it get back to Hux? Nikolai had enough to deal with...

Nah, he was being silly. Might as well just enjoy the sunshine, if he could. "I'd offer to show you around, but I don't know the place much better. Plus it looks like part of the park is under attack by geese."

In the distance, Nikolai was trying to get some of the younger Mambas to leave the fucking geese alone while Liam tried to scare the geese into leaving the mamba alone. Oozy was making puns about this "fowl situation" while watching and being generally unhelpful.

*

Well, Trousle certainly made it obvious why Papythons were so popular. His temperament was excellent and things just seemed to roll right off his scales. It was a shame that Marmalade had never really connected with any Papythons when he'd been at the center still because they seemed like he would have gotten along great with them. "nyeh heh, thanks kid."

"Oh stars," Val squeaked, delighted beyond measure. She also took immediate note of his relief when several scales flaked away, revealing pristine blue beneath, and she gave soft scratches to areas that looked like they were ready to come away. "Oh, sweetheart, I love games! I bet you were the biggest, best dragon around!"

She feigned a shocked gasp at his attempt at a roar, grinning down at the little guy. Her heart was gone, he'd stolen it. All of these Lamia were adorable. As much of her attention as Piper had stolen, Val still didn't ignore Keith and Trousle. They were good with Piper, harnessing the chaotic energy of a young Pygmy.

"Every Lamia is special," Val refuted, cuddling Piper closer to her neck. "Maybe you should talk to Alex?"

Marmalade nodded along, giving Keith a curious look. He didn't know what DnD was but he knew about the soul and the bonds that Chains forged with their humans. Keith seemed awfully curious and cautious when it came to those bonds.

"you think you got the wrong human?" was Marmalade's astute observation.

"Oh!" Val perked, wide eyes turning to Keith. "You wanna stay with your friends, don't you? But you want a human too, maybe?"

Inevitably, her gaze was drawn towards the honking of geese. Not a sight that was common at home but nothing she had never seen before, either. It was certainly lively over at that side of the park!

*

Trousle nodded, “No problem!” He paused and typed more, tongue flicking as he did. “What’s it like where you guys are from? Do they have Papython there too?”

Piper was purring, rubbing against her hand both out of affection and in eagerness to shed some of his scales. He had stars in his eyes as he looked up to her. “Yeah! I love games too! I’m a great dragon! Mweheheh!” I dun hurt you though is ‘kay.” He gave her a little pat of reassurance. “Can only hurt the tokens. But I win good!” Piper made happy purrs and chitters, enjoying the warmth and affection. This was so exciting!!! “I special! You too!”

Keith couldn’t stay buried in his thoughts with that happening. A grin split his face. “Heh, hope you were looking to adopt.”

A twinge of jealousy rose up in Trousle’s soul, bitter and venomous, but he took a deep breath and swallowed it with a smile. He’d find someone one day. It wasn’t fair to hold it against Piper. Besides, he wanted to live closer to his friends anyway. “You can talk to Nikolai when he’s done with the geese if you’re thinking of taking him home! He practically owns the place. He’s the King.”

“Don’t let the fangs fool you. He’s basically a mom,” Keith said. “Gotta love him… Heh. You might get along, or else I need to get better at hiding things. Am I that obvious?”

Trousle looked up at him. “Alex is yours then?” He hadn’t known but wasn’t surprised either.

“I don’t know,” Keith said honestly, shrugging. “Thought I felt something, still do, but she hasn’t said anything, so I ain’t gonna force it. Besides, I’d rather keep hanging with y’all.”

“I appreciate it, but don’t stay just for my sake! You’ve been here longer than me! If you think you’d be happy with her…” Then he’d say goodbye.

“Ain’t my call anyways lil dude, but thanks,” Keith said. He turned back to the others. “I might just live here long as they’ll have the gang and me. Made peace with it a good while ago.”

*

This time it was Valerie who answered Trousle, happy to soothe the Papython that there was someone out there who would love him and take him home. "Oh, I see Papythons everywhere when I go into town! Everyone loves a Papython. You guys are super helpful."

She was quickly distracted by Piper once again, enthralled by how adorable he was. The point of coming here hadn't been to adopt but she wasn't going to rule it out, not when faced with a Lamia this adorable. Valerie had always assumed Pygmy were too energetic for her but Piper was just perfect. The right amount of energetic and sweet, with a little bit of snuggle tossed in. "A precious dragon," she beamed, "Oh, Admiral and Sangria would love you!"

Valerie laughed at Keith, keeping Piper close to her. "I'm not opposed! I have plenty of space at home... and toys. And I already have the perfect little bandana that would look just adorable on him."

"course ya do," Marmalade huffed, amused. "ya got a lil' bit o' everythin' at home."

"That I do!" Val agreed, smiling at Keith and Trousle. "I even brought a couple things to give out, if you want something Trousle. I think you'd look really cool in this little red scarf I bought. None of the Papythons at the other center were the right size for it."

"don' let val think she'd get along with a king," was the mumbled warning from Marmalade, his gaze mischievous. "she debated on a king or a mamba once. still don' know if she won' bring home a king some day."

Her answering laugh was completely unapologetic.

"Gotta say, Keith, if you feel like she's yours then she probably is. There's a lot of reasons a human wouldn't react. Maybe she doesn't have the space for you and all your friends but she doesn't wanna separate you?"

"don' count yourself stuck, keith. even if ya don' live with her she's still yours. an you're hers."

*

Trousle beams, puffing out his little chest as much as he can and showing off his scales. He's a bit too busy posing to type right now, but his grin is practically splitting his face. He nods enthusiastically at the idea of a little scarf. Wouldn’t he just look great?! Even greater than now, he wasn’t sure it was even possible!

Keith smiles down at him. "Yer pretty cool, y'know? Can't believe you haven't been scooped up yet. But hey, this way I get to keep ya. Wouldn't be the same without such a cool guy at the gaming table."

Trousle's face was bright orange. He attempted to hide it behind his hands, flustered, but he kept moving his hands to peek out.

Piper purred, too enthralled by Val to pay much attention to Keith and Trousle. "Yeah! 'm the best dragon. They love! And I love! Where they?" He looked over at Marmalade, squinting as he tried to figure out which one he'd be. "Sangria?"

Keith chuckled, "That's Marmalade." With so much happening, he didn't blame Piper for missing a few details.

"No. Sangria."

"That's not how that works...“ Trousle said.

"Sangria," Piper insisted, crossing his arms. Guess Marmalade's been renamed now, sorry dude. "Gonna play toys with Sangria! Mweheheheh! Toys toys toys! Yes yes yes!" He tightened around her neck - not nearly enough to hurt - in enthusiastic cuddles.

"He really likes you!" Trousle said. Feeling a bit bolder, he started winding his way down towards her and Marmalade too. Keith helped by stretching his arm out towards her for him. Dude wants cuddles too it seems like.

Keith's soul ached at the thought of Trousle leaving too, but Val seemed nice, and it sounded like he wouldn't be low on company. It was a bit early to call though. "I hope ya'll're right. I mean, she keeps coming back, so hey, that's a good sign! Just don't wanna come on too strong, y'know?" He turned to look over at the goose situation. Some park administrators had managed to catch and contain most of them, but Liam had the tell-tale sign of a successful hunt around his fangs. Good for him. Nikolai had redirected the younger Mambas towards something less destructive: showing off for humans with posing and play-fights. "If ya wanna keep the kiddo, you can talk to Nikolai or Maia, the old lady. She owns the place, but Nikolai's been keeping it running the last year or two. She's getting too old fer it."

*

Oh. Oh no. Trousle was adorable too and Val felt awful knowing she would gladly take him home too, away from his friends and so far from what he'd known that he might never be able to visit when they had their sessions. But Keith brought up a good point... why hadn't Trousle been snatched up yet? He was a sweet Papython, perfectly sized for apartment living but also the right size that he could help out around if he wanted.

Her attention was taken by Piper once again, cooing at just how sweet he was. Her poor heart couldn't handle all that adorableness. If she combined him with Admiral... Val would probably collapse from the combined cute of two Pygmy, even if they were different sizes. Her face actually hurt from how much she was smiling.

"I only brought Marmalade and Currant with me, Piper," she gently told him, grinning at Marmalade with waggling brows. "Sangria is my big Mamba, he's protecting the territory and making sure Admiral doesn't get lonely. But Sangria is so awesome I'm sure Marmalade doesn't mind."

Marmalade narrowed his eyes at her but it lacked any real heat. Sangria was a Mamba that defied his species, a far more tolerant creature that was essentially the den mother of all Lamia Valerie had at home. It wouldn't surprise any of them if Sangria was cuddled up, beyond exhausted dealing with Admiral and Lapis, when they got home. Val was good for them, he was somewhat surprised she didn't have a whole hoard of Mamba roaming around.

"I really like him too," Valerie told Trousle, offering a hand so he could join Piper on her. Papython cuddles were the best. And she'd only ever cuddled a few full-size ones! As much as she would have loved to take him home too, Valerie didn't feel like Trousle was destined to stay with her. Someone out there would adopt them all together, she could feel it. But she would never deny a Lamia some cuddles. "I should go get Currant, though. Don't want my grumpy boy to laze away in the car. It's about time to exercise, anyway."

"she probably feels somethin'," Marmalade shrugged. "i bonded with val as soon as i saw her. didn' wait a second."

"It's true," she laughed. "I walked in for a grumpy Coral and wham! Soulbonded to a Chain within minutes. I can kinda feel all my boys, now."

Valerie trailed off, not knowing how to ask Keith if he wanted to go to the car with her so she could get Currant and the things she could give to other Lamia. Marmalade saved her from having to ask, aware of her on a level deeper than anything she'd thought to have.

"wanna come with us to the car, keith? val wants to grab some stuff and trousle an piper are safest if she holds 'em. you can meet currant."

*

Piper nodded, "Mamba can be mean, but can be nice! Some go hiss, but others like hugs. Like Cobalt!" Cobalt was hatched around the same time. The little mamba could be protective sometimes, especially when some of the meaner mamba or corals teased him about his weird bone-scales. (The fact that Piper was quick to give affection and fawn over him miiiight've helped). "Can I meat Cur-Currant... Curry! Curry!"

Trousle slithered up Val's arm and draped himself across her in one big cuddle, clicking softly in a muted purr.

Keith smiled down at Val, she had such a way with the kiddos. If she ever needed a job, she could probably work here, provided she didn't try to adopt the entire store. And knowing that Alex might know something, well... Maybe he should have a chat with her. Lost in thought, he stretched himself out wordlessly in answer, winding down and placing himself next to Marmalade, ready to go meet Currant. Hopefully he'd be nice to Trousle, or they'd have a problem.

*

"Sangria is nice," Val assured Piper, knowing it was true. He could bluster and yell insults as much as he wanted but he was the first to investigate any noise, the first to take the others outside without her asking, and she had woke up on a few occasions to already thawing food for her boys. Piper would be adored at her house, she had no doubt. "We're going to meet Currant."

Marmalade was shamelessly snickering over Piper's nickname for the Coral, slithering along as she walked towards the van. It was a dirty thing, big enough to transport her collection of Lamia and the large amount of groceries she got monthly. Some curious Lamia had slithered close, likely to scent the new smells she'd brought around, and Currant could be seen in the front seat. His face was barely visible over the door, just eyes and the dome of his skull. Well, what wasn't covered by the blanket he'd been snuggled in. His deep red eye lights enlarged when he spotted Val.

Before they even got to the van, Currant was bolting out and winding around her legs. Val laughed, petting Trousle and Piper while Currant made himself at home around her ankles and knees. He shamelessly slithered up her legs and wrapped around her torso, clinging in the way he was used to. The fact she had other Lamia didn't bother him in the slightest. His purrs were deep and happy, gloved phalanges kneading in her shirt and sneakily petting Trousle and Piper.

"And this is Currant," she told Keith, completely wrapped in Lamia but loving it. Her current situation was nothing out of the ordinary, after all. "He's still a little anxious but he's such a sweet little gem!"

"spoiled, ya mean."

"jealous?" Currant grinned, both golden fangs on full display. "sup. 'm currant."

*

Safely riding on a human, Trousle looked around, trying to take in all he could of the big, wide world. And it was definitely big! It was hard to imagine that even this much existed! It was all so exciting! His tongue was flicking in and out, trying to catch every taste he could. Instinctively, he hissed when Currant moved so fast, rearing back, but let out little huffs as he laughed it off. His "voice" came from Keith's pocket as he said, "You startled me!"

Keith similarly had tensed up, not expecting the other to dart out like that, but relaxed just as quickly seeing Val react so well. "Aaaaw. Heh, he really likes ya. Man, he's a world different than Hux. Good to meet ya dude, I'm Keith."

"I'm Trousle! Er, I'm the Papython." Trousle said, leaning his head up to let Currant scratch some of his favorite spots.

"Oooooh! Curry! Curry's a Coral!" Piper gasped. He was partly hiding behind Val's neck, hoping that this Coral at least wouldn't make fun of him. Not that every single Coral did, but it was mostly corals. Still, he was getting pets, so maybe this one was a nicer one? His eyes closed as he let out happy little chirps, occasionally play-nipping at Currant's fingers.

Keith was just internally cooing. "Ya'll too dang cute. How dare. Geez..."

One of the local Cornies was trying to slither into Val's car, seeing a nice blanket and a warm, sunny nap spot, and a random Honeybo was trying to see if he could sneak stickers onto Currant's clothes.

*

Confined as she was beneath coils, Val couldn't do anything about the other Lamia clustering around. She made a careful mental note about the Corny but didn't attempt to prevent him from sleeping in the blanket pile, Lapis did just that. Before she left she would do a sweep of the van, to make sure she didn't have any tagalongs. Currant was well adjusted, careful work done to make sure he knew how to articulate and that he could always hide if it became too much for him. He was a far cry from the grumpy boy she'd brought home.

"sorry," Currant muttered, butting his nose against Trousle's back. "oh man, val! lapis woulda loved this."

"He would!" she chirped. "All the bitty Papython from his brother clutch got adopted out so I couldn't get one. He would love to have a Papy that would pester him awake, I just know it."

"maybe we can bring 'im next time," Marmalade shrugged. "make a day o' it. let everyone meet everyone."

"it'd be chaos," Currant deadpanned. "imagine sangria bein' around all these mamba? his tail is a lot nicer."

Well, Valerie didn't want to say that but she hadn't seen another Mamba with the same level of iridescence that Sangria had. Currant was drawn to Piper, the little Pygmy hidden from sight until a nip finally registered. Val mentally counted down, smirking with the knowledge that Piper looked like a true prize. Bright blue, even where his scales needed to shed, and so unique that Currant's eye lights swelled huge. He loved pretty, unique things.

"yer scales are pretty," he wheezed, shimmying closer to Piper. His instincts told him Piper was still young and he needed to shed those itchy, dull scales. So Currant just... gave a little lick. Val likened it to a mother cat bathing her young and it was adorable.

"Aren't they just the prettiest!" Val agreed. "All the others must be so jealous of such a handsome boy like Piper!"

*

Keith was helping that one Honeybo sneak stickers onto Currant. He was gonna be covered in glittery smiley faces and hearts by the time the conversation was over at this rate. Naturally, Keith regrets nothing about this... Okay, maybe he has one regret, but that's that they're stickering Currant like this and not Hux. It'd be hysterical seeing him turn red as he realized what had happened.

Trousle gives him a few little scratches in appreciation. "I might consider it! I'm just not sure about living so far away. Though I'd love to have a person! And it seems like you have quite the troupe!" If it weren't for the distance, he'd be on this faster than Liam was on a bowl of sour candies. "I'd love to meet him!" It was always nice meeting new friends! Or seeing old friends again, in some cases!

Keith chuckled, "I feel that. I wish I could vouch for Liam, but he can get a bit showy around other Mamba. I mean, and in general, but it's worse around his own. Though given that he was the only one to actually beat a goose, he might have a point." Sometimes Mamba and Kings were rented out for pest control... and occasionally Chains, when the pests in question were snakes.

Piper turned yet another gorgeous shade of blue in the face, partly covering his cheekbones as he squealed and chirped, not really sure what to do with all the sheer happy stuffed into his little body. Kid purred like a kitten as some of the scales peeled off, revealing the vibrant, fresh hues underneath. Shedding was always the worst, but also such a relief to get out of his too-small skin.

Keith mentally relaxed. Currant seemed like a pretty cool dude so far. "Dang you're too freaking sweet. Geez. Ya sure you didn't adopt a Papython?"

*

Currant was aware that he was being covered in stickers, this wasn't the first time he'd been on the recieving end of some shenanigans, but he had long since grown used to things like this. Val had taken great care in making sure he was capable of handling whatever could be thrown at him. She wouldn't let anyone tell her that he was too dangerous to go anywhere, his behavior would guarantee he made anyone that called him a menace eat their words. Grooming the young Pygmy was much more his speed, he tended to do the same with Lapis if he caught him in shed.

"Oh, Trousle, I know there's a human out there for all of you," Valerie assured him. She felt a little sad that she couldn't take every Lamia home... but maybe she could volunteer here, sometimes. "I'll bring Lapis next time. Even if I don't take you home you could always message him and be friends that way."

"ooooooh," Marmalade drawled, feeling the need to talk up his brother. "jus' a goose?"

"Marmalade, hush! They don't have a forest around here, not like Liam could hunt foxes like you and Sangria do. But I bet he'd catch one!" She didn't actually know if that was the case because she didn't know which Mamba was Liam but if he was anything like Sangria he would have a high prey drive. She had many hunted stuffed animals that were displayed around her home. "Piper... are you alright with Currant holding you? I'm going to grab some things."

Marmalade huffed, amused at Keith's comments towards Currant. "nah, he's a gremlin. val jus' hates how people talk shit 'bout currant when we go out so she helped him get better adjusted."

Said gremlin was carefully holding Piper, grooming the Pygmy with loud rumbles in his ribcage. Piper had Coral approval. Val opened the back of the van, grabbing a couple of bags that had some gifts she'd brought along. The whole reason she'd come to the park was to give some things to Lamia that didn't have homes. Marmalade took some of the bags while Val plucked a little red scarf out just for Trousle. It was made of a soft material and the shade of red was bright but not eye burning.

"You can have this, Trousle," Val announced, looping it loosely around him. "And you can help me hand out the other stuff! Maybe I have something for each of your friends."

*

Piper nodded, "Mm hmm! Like Curry! Is real nice." He was purring back, mostly letting Currant do his thing and thoroughly enjoying the attention, only squirming to give him better access to some of the scales that needed to come off. "Best Coral!"

Keith also felt the need to defend his own brother's honor, standing up and huffing, "I mean, if he hunted a dog, I think he would've gotten in trouble. People love those things! Also, have ya ever fought a goose? Those things will..." Shit there are children present. "They've got more teeth than we do. Some of which are on their freaking tongues. I have questions for whoever thought up geese, 'cause they're nightmare birds. Dude's pretty dang cool if ya ask me."

"Thank you, I'd love to meet him and see you again! But I'm not sure that anyone would want, well... Us. We're kind of weird, honestly. I mean, I'm mute for starters, and, well... But maybe there's a human that lives here, at least who could take me! Then I could visit a lot, probably! Or I guess I could live with Nikolai, but I think he wants to focus more on Maia right now." Trousle said. His head darted up as he caught a familiar scent. "Oh! Alex is here! Hi!"

Keith's soul skipped a beat as he looked over and saw her. "Howdy. Heh, good to see ya."

"Look! I just got a scarf!" Trousle wound the scarf around himself, arcing himself up to show himself off. The scarf fluttered in the breeze; he had stars in his eyes.

"Oh my gosh! That's so cute!" Alex squealed.

"Right? Heh, this is Val. She's from out of town."

"Oh! Good to meet you! I'm Alex. I'm from in town! Or at least from the suburbs."

Keith got a little closer to Alex, not enough to crowd her, but enough to feel close. "Wasn't sure if ya'd make it honestly."

"I've got Fridays off dude. 'Course I came!"

*

"heh, i like ya too kid," Currant mumbled, taking Piper's directions to heart and moving to a new patch of dull scales. Piper wasn't the first Pygmy that Currant had been around but he was the youngest and he needed to be protected and cared for. He was so invested in his task that he ignored Keith and Marmalade's posturing.

"we've hunted geese before," Marmalade snorted, puffing his chest out. "val don' care what we eat out in the woods. they're bears an stuff out there too."

Not that Sangria or Marmalade had hunted full grown bears but if they had snatched a cub or two from a mother before they ran her off. Well...

"Anyone who judges you for what makes you unique can get punched in the kidney," Val grumbled, momentarily sour over just the thought of anyone thinking ill of Trousle and his friends. "You'll get adopted, I know it. Sweet guy like you? Pfft, you'll find the best human out there."

Valerie was kind of nervous around another person but Alex didn't seem like a very mean person and she had similar taste in what looked adorable on Trousle. Anyone that could enjoy these Lamia as much as Val did wasn't capable of being a bad person. So she gave a little wave, petting Currant's head to soothe her own nerves.

"I'm Valerie," she greeted, tugging on her stretched lobes. "You can call me Val, though. Everyone else does. I was just about to hand out some presents to the Lamia here."

"we're from a few states away," Marmalade supplied. "'m marmalade, the coral is currant.... an it looks like we'll be adopting piper today."

"As soon as I hand out the gifts I'll look for Nikolai."

*

Piper absolutely beamed up at him, making the task of grooming him slightly harder as he insisted on trying to hug and give little nuzzles and licks to Currant's face. He was trilling in joy, already enamored with this big Coral who had decided he was a cute lil guy. Maybe he was going to get adopted! This was so exciting!

"Have ya ever wrestled a burglar? 'Cause I know Liam has. He ain't supposed to kill, so had to hold back on the venom and everything. Dude had a gun." Or, well, a taser, but Liam didn't find that out until after the police had already taken the guy into custody.

Trousle blushes, signing a quick thank you at her and sinking into the warmth.

"Really? That sounds terrifying," Alex said.

"Eh, you know how Liam is. He's a cool dude," Keith said. "Got him before the rest of us even realized we were in danger, he's just that cool."

"Heck yeah," Alex said. She looked at Piper being groomed by Currant and grinned, "Aaaw, they're really getting along, huh? Guess I won't be casting Divine Intervention anymore."

Keith laughed at the memory, "I don't think it ever actually helped."

"It was cute though!" Alex said. "But I'm glad he's getting someone. Little guy seems pretty happy! Trousle too. You thinking of adopting him?" There was a bit of an edge in her voice. She didn't want to admit that maaaaybe she'd been considering the little guy...

Keith swooped in, "Nah. He'd rather stay local."

Relief washed through Alex alongside guilt at being relieved, "Gotcha. Can't say I blame ya. It's nice being near friends, isn't it?"

Trousle nodded. "Maybe we can all get adopted together?"

"I'm sure someone would try!" Alex said. She was keeping a bit of a distance from Currant, which Keith noticed...

"This is Currant. Dude's a sweetheart to lamia and humans alike." He knew that she wasn't oblivious to Hux's opinions, even if she wanted to hang around the rest of them enough to deal with it.

Alex nodded, "Nice. Good to meet ya then!"

*

Currant finally seemed to twig to the fact that there was another person around, turning his large eye lights onto Alex for several moments while Piper nuzzled him. His teeth parted and he could smell her nerves, not an unusual occurence whenever someone happened to be around him. It wasn't even Currant's fault. Coral Lamia were known for their tempers and nobody would look at him and think he was different than his species. He made no move to attack, content to keep hold of Piper like Val wanted him to, but he wasn't instantly friendly either.

He just... stared. Gauging her.

"dude," Marmalade droned, looking incredibly done with the posturing already. "there's a reason Sangria is in charge of watching the house."

Which wasn't a lie. Val didn't often get trespassers on her proprty. Not ones that she was aware of, anyway. But there would always be people up to no good deep in the woods, where they thought nobody would find out what they wanted to do. Sangria and Marmalade had chased off their fair share of would-be burglars and wannabe hermits.

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab this little guy and take him home," Val booped Piper as she said it, enamored with his scales and his squeaks. "I would love to take Trousle, he's a sweetheart don't get me wrong, but I just feel that he's not for me. Ya know? I did wanna bring my Corny, Lapis, to meet him sometime! Maybe Admiral and Sangria too."

"'lo," Currant finally muttered.

"He really is a sweetheart, Alex," Valerie insisted, yanking her phone from her pocket and quickly scanning for pictures. She had plenty of snapshots of Currant and her other boys in various stages of absolute cuteness. Currant sleeping on Sangria's glittering scales, the Coral's blushing face when he got to eat his favorite snack, and the one memorable image she had of him dancing with her. "See? Corals are so sweet. Cute grumpy faces and all!"

"not cute," Currant grumbled.

"Cutest," Val sang, smooching his skull.

*

Keith realized he was going overboard a little and chuckled, “Guess ya got a point. Sorry, just think he’s pretty cool, y’know? Maybe ya’d like to meet him.” His soul twisted in sympathy for Currant. Poor dude… “Corals can be really sweet in general honestly, if ya can get through a layer or two of posturing. Currant seems better about that though.”

Alex grinned at the photos, bouncing a little in place at the cuteness. “Aaaaaw! That’s precious, oh my gosh. My heeeeeart!” She looked over at him, “Mind if I pet you? Sorry. Just not always good with people sometimes…”

Keith gave her a lazy hug from behind her, “Eh, ain’t for everyone.” He’d been around her enough to know that she at least couldn’t get along with Hux. She didn’t mean to, but she tended to rub Hux the wrong way. Though Hux sometimes seemed to be looking for reasons to snap at her. Still, what was he supposed to do? Kick out his soul-bond, or kick out his best friend?

“Yeah, but I just feel bad…”

“Don’t. Hux just ain’t great with humans. Currant is.”

*

Before Marmalade could comment on how it would be cool to meet another Mamba, Val piped up with an affirmative. "We'd love to meet Liam! He sounds super cool."

Currant puffed up at what he took as praise, knowing he was arguably the best Coral around. He still had his days where he tended to want his space but they were few and far between now. The people that wouldn't give him a chance just because he was a Coral were missing out. Alex had calmed down once she'd seen his general cuteness so he offered his head for a pet, making sure to keep Piper safely tucked against his chest.

"Don't feel bad about not getting along with everyone," Valerie tried to soothe. She didn't know Alex very well but she didn't want any awkwardness between their mismatch group. "I worked a lot with Currant. Maybe you won't ever be best friends with Hux but you can learn when he needs his space! It might not seem like a big step but it's something to keep in mind."

Marmalade nodded along, having plenty of experience with all kinds of Corals. Some were sweet and just couldn't communicate what they wanted but there were others that earned their bad reputation. Unfortunately, that bad reputation was more common than the good because they were such a naturally emotionally constipated Lamia.

"here we go..." Marmalade muttered.

"I have some stuff Hux might like," Val confessed. "If he's the type to enjoy a treasure hoard or blankets and stuff. I have a lot of Lamia stuff that none of my boys wanted so it should get put to good use!"

*

Keith grinned, “Oh yeah, he’s cool.” Being a lazy bastard who didn’t want to stop this conversation, he just texted Nikolai to send Liam this way.

Alex stroked Currant’s head, smiling. “You’re really good with these guys, aren’t you? I don’t think I have quite the same knack for it, but I like visiting and stuff! Nikolai lets me in the nursery sometimes and it’s absolutely precious! Baby Lamia are adorable!” She was bouncing on her feet again as she scratched underneath Currant’s chin. Piper was also getting in on the affection, giving Currant little pats and purring.

“He does have a little hoard, I bet he’d enjoy it! He can be kinda prickly though. Don’t take it personally,” Keith said. “He’s just like that.”

A Mamba of about average size came over and cleared his throat to announce his presence, splaying out to show off his scales as he set his head on his hands all sassy-like. “I heard I was called~?” He was keeping his good side towards Val and Currant, not that the hole in his skull was particularly noticeable, he was wearing his fitted mold today. It was a bit hard to make out the tacky substance holding it in place through the layer of bone-colored makeup, but he couldn’t hide that one of his eyes were dark.

Keith slithered over to cover Liam’s bad side out of protective instinct and habit. He was fairly certain there was no sneaking up on the dude anyways - he’d gotten crazy good at feeling vibrations in the ground - but it made them both feel a little better. “This is Liam.”

“Good to meet you~”

*

"I did a lot of research before I decided to adopt," Val admitted, plucking nervously at her sleeves. Currant was basking in the attention he was getting, more tolerant than blatantly loving having someone else patting him. Alex was gentle with her pets so he didn't attempt to pull away. The words coming out of Alex's mouth finally registered and she wished she could have stars in her eyes when she heard about baby Lamia. Her voice was an excited whisper. "Baby Lamia?!"

Marmalade and Currant both rolled their eyes at her glee, knowing that she should never be allowed to see the babies or they would never get her to leave. Valerie already adored bitty sized Lamia but if you added in babies... she would be a goner.

"we got some geodes," Marmalade told Keith. "coupla things that any coral would love to have in their hoard. currant don' collect 'em as much since his hoard got too big to fit 'em all in his nest."

A new arrival pulled Valerie's attention away from talk of babies and she brightened immediately. It might have been biased but she felt like Sangria's scales were a little glossier than Liam's, not that she would tell him that. She didn't react at all to the site of one darkened socket, used to Admiral's darkened socket looking in her direction. Marmalade was careful about how he slithered, not knowing how Liam might react to movement he couldn't see.

"You're a very handsome Mamba, Liam," Val complimented, the words nearly second nature after dealing with Mamba for so long. "The way you hunted was really impressive!"

*

Alex kept scratching, watching her hands instead of looking to Val as she said, “They’re SO CUTE! I’d offer to show you, but Nikolai might try to kill both of us… Keith took me there to meet him and I thought he’d bite my head off, but he apologized afterwards! He’s really protective of them though, like, murderously protective.”

Keith grinned, “Daaaang. He’s gonna love that! And if he’s pissy about it, I’ll gladly take them instead…” Subtle dude. Subtle.

Liam took good care of himself, but he couldn’t stand up to Sangria in size or shine. That said, he would absolutely try to fight Sangria anyways if given the chance.

Liam stood up, hands on his hips and chest puffed out, moving his tail to make his scales glimmer. “Glad to see someone can recognize a hunter around here.” There was still a bit of blood on his teeth where he’d bitten the goose and hadn’t completely managed (or wanted) to lick it away. “Do I smell another mamba on you? You’ve got good taste, but I bet I could take him.”

Keith sighed, “Liam, don’t…”

“I’m just saying!” Liam huffed.

“It’d a sight to see,” Alex said neutrally.

“How big is he anyways? Four foot?” Oh Liam noooooooo… He’s huge sweetheart.

“I maybe should’ve warned ya that he can be competitive with other mambas,” Keith said.

“It’s not my fault they’re all so spoiled.”

“You literally have plush pillows and a heated blanket in your enclosure,” Alex said.

“And I hunted them myself!” Liam said, arms crossed and grinning. “I can take care of myself just fine, unlike those little pipsqueaks. Losing to a goose, hah!”

Keith was realizing he should’ve let Liam cool down more first. He’d just proved superiority over his breed and wasn’t gonna shut up for a while, was he?

*

"Oh, I don't want to make Nikolai angry! I'd ask first, of course." She might not have had any experience with Kings but she knew that anyone who was charged with protecting babies would have their instincts dialed up to max. Add on the fact that some Mamba would gladly eat the babies... she didn't blame Nikolai for getting angry that Alex had been brought around the younger Lamia without him approving it beforehand. Piper was close enough to a baby for her, for now, and that was all she needed if she wanted to be able to leave. "I'd never leave if I saw them now."

"if he don' take 'em he's got awful taste in treasure," Currant grumbled, giving Keith a grumpy look. Yeah, he was onto you buddy.

Now Liam had touched on a weakness of Valerie's. She loved to talk about her boys and Sangria was among the prettiest Lamia she had ever seen. Sure, he had knicks and scars from his tousles in the woods but she still adored how he shined in the light. When Liam mentioned smelling another Mamba on her, well, she lit up. Marmalade chuckled, knowing she was almost as bad as he was for bragging about Sangria. Nevermind the fact that Liam was declaring he could fight a Mamba larger than himself. It would be funny to see them posture at each other.

"Oh, don't worry! Sangria, that's my Mamba, is pretty good around other Lamia so I wouldn't worry." She giggled at the guess at Sangria's size, finding the isea of a Mamba that small to be hilarious. Liam was shorter than Val was tall! "Oh no, Sangria is seven feet long. Or there about!"

"maybe a few inches longer," Marmalade tacked on.

"Maybe," was Valerie's agreement. "Sangria protects the house and the property. I live on a couple of acres of forested land and it would really suck if I had wild animals stalking me when I went outside!"

She may or may not have been teasing Liam, just a little, to see how riled she could get him. Just enough he might show off some more!

*

“Oh definitely,” Alex said. “He probably wouldn’t say yes until he knows you better though.”

“Not gonna lie, that first meeting was me being dumb. Shoulda told him I was bringing her, but still took a few months,” Keith said.

“Oh yeeeeeeah! Nick went HISSSSS!” Piper said. “I was there! Mm hmm!”

“Were you one of the ones curled on him?” Alex asked.

“Mm hmm! Was hiding. Am a sneaky!” Piper said, hands on his hips.

“Ya sure are kiddo,” Liam said, giving the world’s gentlest fistbump to the kid. He moved around a little, getting a look at the car and taking in some of the scents, curious about this new place, aaaaand… “Are these what you were talking about? I might keep them for myself honestly.” Liam had 100% actually stolen the geodes while you were watching him, somehow. He’s the real sneak.

“Liam no,” Keith said, trying to stifle a laugh. “I called them first.”

“Finders keepers~” He held the rocks to his chest, sticking his tongue out at poor Keith. “I bet that Sangria can’t manage that. Maybe he’s bigger, but I could slither circles around him! He wouldn’t even know what hit him! Size isn’t everything, after all.”

Keith couldn’t help himself, “Then why is Nikolai the only one who can tell ya what to do and you listen.”

Even from here, it was plain to see that Nikolai was on the larger end of the spectrum for Kings, a good foot or two larger than even Sangria.

“His bite is worse than his bark, when he chooses. I’m not suicidal,” Liam said. “He’s worse than anything that could possibly be in your woods! Just let me come over one day and I’ll make the whole forest bow to me!”

“Huh, I thought he was playing a Sorcerer, not a Druid,” Alex said.

“… no fireballs irl,” Keith said, secretly a little terrified by sudden mental picture of Liam with fire magic… or a flamethrower.

“Not yet at least!” Liam said, almost certainly unable to actually follow through with that threat. “I just need to trace myself back to a dragon…”

*

"That's fine, I'm probably gonna come back a few more times!" Considering she was looking to take Piper home, she wouldn't deprive him of coming back to visit the place he'd called home for the start of his life. She may have hated interacting with people in large number but being surrounded by Lamia was leagues better than that. It helped that these guys were all hilarious. Valerie had only passing knowledge of DnD so she kept that to herself, lest they assume she was going to be able to come and join their games. Sure, that would have been fun but...she lived too far away and worked too much for it to be consistent.

Currant was slightly wary when Liam got close to Piper, edging back just a hair, but the little Pygmy didn't seem anxious so he kept his hissing to himself. He did end up scooting backwards a little so his tail could coil around Valerie's legs once again. Unlike his first meeting with Sangria, Currant wasn't mesmerized by the sight of Liam's scales.

"Are you sure you want the geodes?" Val asked, biting her cheek to keep from grinning. She wasn't surprised that Liam had managed to grab the geodes, those had been with Marmalade and her Chain was always weak for the wiles of a Mamba. It was a good thing she had kept the Mamba specific treats. "I mean...I was going to give you a bag of candy."

"warheads," Marmalade tittered, knowing her usual bribe when she wanted to convince Sangria to do something. "she woulda got toxic waste but sangria thinks the package is ugly."

"Sorry, Liam, I think Piper is the only dragon here." Val outright laughed, petting Piper along the length of his spine. "Actually confirmed dragon. The best dragon."

All this talk of Kings was making her want one, deep in her mind, but she knew that Sangria wasn't ready for another large and possibly aggressive Lamia.

"But you guys could come over to see the forest, if you want. So long as you had permission to leave."

*

"Bring your Corny next time! He was... Azul?" Trousle said, drawing a blank on the name. He remembered it had to do with blue at least? "I'd love to meet him!"

"And I'll gladly settle it on who'd win," Liam said. "It'll be me, of course, but he can certainly try!" He was internally considering the trade... The geodes were gorgeous, of course, but sour candies. His mouth was already salivating, and catching the scent on his tongue didn't help in the slightest. "I think that'd be a fair trade..." Liam said, keeping his eye trained on the delicious candies while he handed back the geodes. The second they were in his hands, he bolted away a few feet, intent on keeping his prize. Immediately he ripped the bag open, sticking a candy in his black-coated mouth and crunching down on it. He took more time with the next candy, letting it dissolve to savor it, but he kept the pack on his good side, just in case any of the smaller upstarts got any funny ideas...

Piper chirped happily, "Yeah! Yeah yeah! I'm the best dragon! RAAAWR!!!" He pretended to breathe fire, wiggling lightly in place.

"Wouldn't mind getting out a little more. Real trees are way better than fake ones," Keith said.

"I'll decimate it," Liam purred. "I'll ask about it. It'd be nice to get to stretch my tail. Rabbits and geese are nice and all, but I've always wanted to go after a wolf. Or maybe a buck!" They wouldn't just let him loose on the countryside to roam free, or he'd try catching one in the state (plus there were laws and legal issues about it), but if he was temporarily under the jurisdiction of another....

*

"Lapis?" Valerie reminded. It was a point in his favor that Trousle even remmebered that her boys were usually named after colors. Obscure colors were something she took great delight in making into names. "I'll bring him! I would have brought him along this time but he'd have eaten the snacks I brought for the Cornies here."

Although it was looking like Trousle and all his friends were going to be getting everything she'd brought! It was nice to have her presents appreciated. Particularly when Liam made the trade for the candies and she was once more in possession of the geodes. She could see a few Mamba with their tongues flicking, likely already aware of the treats, but Liam seemed intent on keeping them all to himself. Sangria was similar at first, hoarding his sour prize away from anyone else, but now that he was the only one in the house that ate sour candy he was less aggressive about it.

Currant cooed at Piper, nuzzling him. Marmalade made a dramatic attempt at ducking the pretend fire, a hand over his soul and widened eyes. "whoa, kid. watch the fire."

"an then there's the baskin' rock," Currant whispered, giving the coveted rock its due by his hushed tone. "'s right outside val's work window, gets light all the time."

"sangria loves that rock."

"I certainly have a lot of trees," she told Keith. "Caves too, decorated for whenever the boys need some space and wanna sleep outside. And no neighbors so...you could absolutely hunt whatever you wanted, Liam."

Valerie didn't know the particular laws about hunting local wildlife but she'd made sure that her local rangers knew she had Lamia that hunted in her woods. Of course, she also kept plenty of contacts so she could purchase live food if they didn't go hunting.

*

"Yes, him! I'll get it sometime!" Trousle said. "Understandable too! Leave some for Oozy! I think he's in the lake right now."

That Corny who had previously been napping stirred upon hearing that there were snacks for cornies. "Mine?"

Liam was absolutely keeping these all to himself, just as he always did. One of the younger lamia - not quite at their adult height yet - loudly called him out on it... So he sat on him, cackling and putting another candy in his mouth while the smaller one screeched... But there were multiple mamba in one place. There was no stopping the swarm. They'd smelled candies and saw them in the hands of That Jerk, so it was a matter of seconds before they put aside their differences and all decided to tackle and constrict Liam at once. A dozen or so bony hands all scrabbled for the remaining candies as Liam screeched about dishonor, cheating, and betrayal.

Keith was laughing his ass off and being of absolutely no help whatsoever. Alex was trying to hide it, but she was absolutely laughing too.

Piper saw the action happening and tried to wiggle over, not wanting to be left out of this game.

*

"I'll tell him all about you," Valerie promised. She gave a delighted little sound, bringing out the little melonpan she normally reserved for Lapis (and herself, she loved the ones with custard inside). They were a little big for bitty sized Corny Lamia but Lapis had never seemed to care about that and she doubted her little stowaway would. "Here you go, a token of confection that's Corny approved."

Marmalade, Currant, and Valerie all turned to the Mamba shenanigans and none of them attempted to hide their amusement. Looks like the pack had decided to overthrow their ruler when it came to the unfair division of the coveted sour candies. She had expected something like this but Sangria had only been convinced to part with one bag of his favorite, all the other sour things she had were less sour. It didn't make them less sought after among Mamba, or so she'd found, so she set the bag down for perusal.

"careful, kid," Currant said but he didn't hold Piper back for long. A Pygmy that wasn't allowed to zoom could become quite the sassy thing. Despite letting Piper go, Currant stayed close by in case he needed to snatch him away from a bad situation.

"guess we should summon the hoards to get their gifts," Marmalade said. "before we get swarmed like liam."

*

The stowaway very much didn't care! He was a snake, and he'd stuff himself as much as he could! Sometimes. When wanting sweets overcame being lazy at least. Caught up in the treat, he took a minute to notice the pun, but he broke into a grin and started laughing into the treat as he did, falling into a happy, laughing lump. He couldn't even top that! "Like you!"

Liam whined as his rightful treats were stolen from him. He managed to shake some of the mamba off, but it was hard when they were ganging up to beat him! "Not fair!" He could take two, maybe three, but there were at least six!

Piper zoomed over to help tame Liam, making little roars and holding onto his arm, play nipping his clothes. He was being no help whatsoever, but was sure having fun doing it!

Alex nodded, "Oh yeah. I don't wanna get caught in the snake swarm. Or at least not in this way."

*

Honestly, Valerie felt a flood of warmth in her chest at just how happy the Corny was. He made her miss Lapis, knowing her little prankster would have been punning away at her. Lapis was the whole reason she'd gotten so deep into pun hell in the first place. She couldn't resist petting his little head, expression going soft and fond. "Thanks, bud. I like you too."

Currant huffed, sparing a warning glance towards Val so she didn't get any funny ideas. Lapis was already a massive handful when he got into the mood to dish out chaos, they didn't need him to have a partner in crime. Speaking of pranks... Lapis would likely have a lot of chaos to rain upon the inhabitants of this adoption center.

Marmalade took the initiative to wrap the geodes into his coils so they wouldn't be snatched up. The bags had other shiny things that some of the Lamia might enjoy hoarding but the geodes were going to be offered to Hux first. And if Hux didn't want any then Keith would get to take what he wanted, provided Liam didn't get them first. Once they were safely tucked away in his grip, he nodded at Valerie.

"Hey!" she called, hands cupped around her mouth so she could gain the attention of every Lamia around. "I got some presents! Candy, blankets, and anything you might want."

Then...then she braced for the swarm. And oh, what a swarm it was.

*

HOPE YOU WERE PREPARED FOR THE SWARM.

Alex stands a bit away, having fun watching but a little overwhelmed at even the idea of being in the middle of all that... No thanks. Keith cuddles her by the sidelines, content to watch as well. Piper is chirping back at all the lamia, going absolutely nuts trying to catch absolutely everyone. Pygmy or not, he'll definitely need a nap when all this is over. Liam nurses his wounded pride off to the side.

The sheer numbers of the swarm draws over Nikolai, though he hangs back and lets the rest take their picks. He's very well cared for, after all. He just waits until the herd thins to introduce himself. "Good to meet you. I'm Nikolai, vice manager of the company." His eyes dart over to all the happy lamia playing with toys, blankets, snacks, and his soul just absolutely melts. "You've made them quite happy. Thank you. It's good to meet you." He gives a little bow, bringing himself slightly lower than Val's level. Dude's absolutely huge, about twelve and a half foot total, and standing a little over six feet tall.

He'd probably be more intimidating if there weren't a handful of bitty kraits peeking out from his pockets, a mini-corny napping around his neck, a young chain wound around one of his arms, and a full grown honeybo deciding to be a cheeky bastard and flop down right over his tail.

"This would be the local mom-friend," Keith said. "I will say outright, you can't take him home with you. He lives with Maia already."

"That I do. She's having a lovely time really, it's good to see her getting to be out and about like this, and she's having fun seeing everyone else outside too." He spoke warmly of her, body relaxed as he turned to wave at her. She was sitting on a bench with a corny curled up next to her like a scaly house cat.

*

Valerie was completely prepared for the pure chaos. Toys getting snatched up and tossed around, blankets disappearing and reappearing in suspicious lumps, and the steady stream of content sounds that meant the candy and junk food snacks had been well received. She didn't back away when the swarm hit, used to being in the mix of large crowds. Currant was darting after Piper, keeping the Pygmy in his sights, but he lacked the energy to keep up that pace for very long. Marmalade tolerated the small hoard that had decided he made a good perch to get higher.

Nikolai is slightly intimidating by his sheer size but his tone and expression are both incredibly relaxed. It's easy to forget that he could very easily decide to take a bite out of her or drive her off. As much as she would have loved to fawn over him, Valerie kept her interaction with Nikolai friendly and semi profressional. Keith had already mentioned that Nikolai helped Maia so it had been easy to guess that he must already have a home.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm Valerie." She can't resist leaning forward to quietly greet the Kraits that she saw peering from Nikolai's pockets. He certainly looked like a mom, with all sorts clamoring over his bulk. "It's my loss but I don't think Sangria is ready for me to bring another large boy home."

Now she found her nerves kicking in, nails lightly scratching at her left wrist until Marmalade grabbed her hand. Their bond pulsed gently with confidence, his soul telling her that she could do this.

"Keith was telling me that I should talk to you about adopting Piper," she finally rushed out. "Sorry. How could I say no to such an adorable guy?"

*

The kraits waved back. Mostly. One got shy and hid his face, he seemed younger than the rest, not used to strangers at all yet.

Nikolai spotted the little one and smiled, “I see you’ve adopted before.” His tongue flicked out, but he couldn’t even hope to pick out what all Val had after that swarm. It was a jumbled mess of tastes that felt so very much like home. “And they look to be getting along well too. It’s always for the best when people bring their Lamia and/or pets, that way we can be sure they’ll get along, but I see we’ll have no issues.”

Piper was trying to keep awake, wanting to be part of the fun, but all the excitement was starting to tire him out. He was wrapped loosely around Currant and yawned, doing that thing kittens do when they try to fight sleep. His head bobbed up and down, eyes fighting to stay open, but sleep was intent to steal him.

Nikolai couldn’t help but coo over it, “Aaaaw. Nyeheheh. I knew Piper wouldn’t be staying too long, but he looks pretty happy, and you seem to know what you’re doing.” He wasn’t willing to completely streamline the process, but honestly? She seemed perfectly ideal, provided… “I will say that he might need a bit of extra care for his scale condition. The scales on his bones might shed more frequently or out of synch with the rest, that’s nothing to be concerned about. Likewise, it’s not unheard of for scale patches to flake off entirely, though the area where it was might be softer and more prone to infection or injury for a day or two. But it’s equally likely he might grow more scales over his bones. The areas where bone and scales meet do get irritated sometimes, especially since dirt likes to get stuck there. Clean it carefully with a q-tip and apply ointment and he’ll be fine.” It was his first priority, after all, yo make sure he was cared for. “We have a spare tube of the cream we’ve been using on him. If you’ll come inside, you can have it for free, my treat.”

He turned to look at the honey-bo half-assedly pretending to be asleep (he had one eye peeked open, looking right at him, and was grinning), rolled his eyes, and gently removed him.

Piper had utterly lost the fight against sleep, completely conked out while snuggled with Currant.

Alex took a picture. How could she not?

*

As adorable as the Kraits were, Val was careful not to overwhelm them with her attention. She didn't want to risk paying one so much attention they got sad if she didn't take them home with her. Besides, Nikolai was talking and it felt more important to hang onto what he was saying.

"Yeah, almost all my boys are adopted from a center but I do have a rescue." Nikolai had a way about him that made her more willing to talk about Admiral than she had before. "My full-size Pygmy, Admiral, was given to me by some kid at a park. His family was using him as a free babysitter and one of the kids cracked his eye open, so his left socket is empty. He's come a long way since then."

Piper's crash came at a perfect time. Currant was also getting tired but far older and capable of resisting passing out after some play. He pet Piper instead, hoping to ease him into sleep easier. Poor guy was likely going to deal with similar crashes for a while once he met Sangria, the Mamba had the most energy out of any Lamia Currant have ever met.

"I figured he would have some special needs," Valerie admitted. She didn't know what the condition was but she had noticed Piper had scales on his bones that seemed itchy but it didn't seem he was in a full shed. The grooming necessary wasn't anything she didn't already do for Sangria, though it would likely take far less time for Piper. "I already have a brush to get dirt from scales, my Mamba insists on being groomed at least twice a week so I have tons of supplies I can use for his scales. I can always message you if I have more questions about how to care for his scales."

Since all the gifts had been handed out she put the bags into the van and closed it up again, grabbing Currant so he could once more settle around her. He was grateful for the reprieve from having to slither after them when he was already tired. If Liam thought Mamba were spoiled he was in for the true spoiled boy of Val's.

Holding onto Currant had the added benefit of allowing her to keep an eye on Piper. "Lead the way."

*

“How many do you have, if I may ask?” Nikolai said. He asked partly out of curiosity, and partly to make sure she wasn’t getting into more than she could handle.

He hissed under his breath heating about Admiral, “Some people… ugh! I won’t say it’s the worst possible idea, I’m technically a service Lamia myself, but I’m certified, an adult, and, well… I’m well aware that I’m bigger than most people. But even then, there’s a difference between that and being a babysitter!” He did his best to keep his anger in check, well aware that he could be terrifying and not wanting to scare Val or anyone currently present. He sighed, trying to let some tension go, “I’m not mad at you of course. I’m mad at those imbeciles! But it sounds like he’s in better hands now. Do you think he’ll be okay having a little one around after that though? I know Piper isn’t exactly a human child, but…” He had to ask these things, of course.

Nikolai let’s her into the shop. It’s mostly empty, but there’s still a person at the cash register. A few Lamia run around the front, bitty and full-sized alike, but the vast majority are outside. A few chirp hellos at Val, some hide, everyone’s got their own thing.

Nikolai motions to let her further in, past a door saying “Full sized area” and then to a supplies closet. He pulls out a tube of cream and a little pamphlet. “Here. I’d had this prepared for whoever might adopt Piper. It gives a basic overview, some good links, and diagrams.” It’s got the name of the condition on it (whatever that is… names are hard) and is smattered with images of Lamia with scales growing over bones. One extreme case, a Krait apparently, had scales covering his full body.

Meanwhile, that Corny was absolutely still napping in the car. He’d moved away from the blankets, finding a shady, safely enclosed spot to sleep off his food-coma: the glove box.

*

"I have five boys, currently," she admitted, knowing it might seem like a lot to the casual asker. "But I work from home so I have plenty of time for all of them and a few more."

She was of a similar mind when it came to what a full-sized should do. One as large as Nikolai could be a service Lamia because he was of a size where he wasn't likely to be taken advantage of my humans. But a Pygmy like Admiral was nowhere near large enough to babysit human children, regardless of how much energy he possessed. She could also understand his concerns of whether or not Admiral would be able to handle having a young Lamia in the house but this was one thing she had tested. "Admiral is fine with all Lamia, even young ones. It's just human children he panics around. Piper already has experience with Liam so seeing Admiral with one blank socket shouldn't startle him."

Currant looked around the center, more at ease since he knew that Valerie wouldn't drop him off here, but wasn't overly concerned with anyone who greeted Val. He rather liked that his human was so coveted by other Lamia but had chosen him instead.

"You take such good care of everyone here," she told Nikolai. "It's no wonder everyone respects you... I'm happy to be good enough for Piper, thank you."

Since she has her arms full, Marmalade takes the tube and pamphlet from Nikolai and puts them carefully into one of his jacket pockets. Valerie will obsess over them later.

"anythin' piper might wanna have when we go?" her Chain asked Nikolai. "he's young so a new place might be scary."

*

Nikolai looked worried at first, but nodded when he heard her situation. “He’ll have company then, that’s good.”

“They live in the woods too, so the bigger, stronger ones have room to hunt,” Keith said.

Nikolai smiled, “Great to hear then. That is one of the downsides of cities, it’s hard to let all of these guys outside as much as they ought to.”

It seemed like she had everything in order then. Admiral would be fine, she had a good track record, Piper seemed to love her and her Lamia already, and even asking for something for him. “I think I know. Give me a minute, I’ve got to go get it.” He slithered off towards the nursery, looking around for one particular toy…

And in the meantime, Hux had caught scent of a human and unfamiliar Lamia. “Heh… Surprised to see you in here. Figured you’d be outside. Like, most of us who ain’t out there are fine staying here y’know.”

Keith bit back a sigh, putting on a lazy smile instead, “And that’d be Hux.”

“Yo,” Hux said. His eyes wandered to Trousle, who was still casually draped on Val, and his soul dropped. He picked up Trousle and stuck Trousle on his own neck instead. “There. Better.”

“I was fine over there too.” Trousle said.

“Yeah, well… Yer with me now.”

*

"Yeah, I have a lot of space." She rushed to assure Nikolai. "Honestly, I think Sangria wants me to have a gaggle of Lamia sometimes. He acts like he hates when I bring someone new around but he's the biggest mom in my house. Piper won't ever be in danger with all my boys, that's a promise."

"she drove kinda far to get us from our center," Marmalade revealed with a shrug. "plenty of stuff to hunt but we got safe havens set up all over the woods. pretty sure at least a couple of wild lamia have taken refuge in our caves too."

The whole situation was exciting. Piper was adorable and he would encourage Currant into being more active without bribery, since it seemed he'd taken an intense liking to the little Pygmy. Currant's coils tightened around Valerie's waist, his sockets narrowing at the arrival of another fucking Coral. He wasn't threatened, Val didn't seem to notice Hux was there yet, but he did make his displeasure known with a single warning hiss.

"Oh!" Val startled, not expecting Trousle to be suddenly taken off her. She smiled at Hux, figuring he was treating her to the grumpiness she'd heard he was known for. "No, I'm not adopting anyone from inside! I was just getting some stuff for Piper, I'll be taking him home."

Currant narrowed his eyes even further, almost closing his sockets, and carefully situated Piper within his jacket so Hux couldn't grab him too. Marmalade rolled his eye lights towards Hux, keeping an eye on the situation in case he neeeded to diffuse any tension.

"Do you like Trousle's new scarf?" Val asked, turning to give Hux more attention while she adjusted her grip on Currant. "I had gifts for everyone. Liam almost took yours."

*

Nikolai couldn’t help grinning when he heard that. It sounded like a perfect environment with enough hunting Lamia to keep little and lazy ones safe.

Hux just laughed at Currant’s hiss. “I promise, I ain’t here to steal your bitch. You can keep her.” He was hesitant to take his eyes off the bunch, not sure how to feel about strange Lamia in his home, so he compromised and brought Trousle up to look at him. “Looks good on ya, Trus. Compliments your scales.”

Trousle beamed, hiking himself up to show off, throwing the scarf behind him like he was in a beauty commercial and it was long, flowing hair.

“Nice.” His pride wanted to not accept gifts… but his desire to hoard things won out. “That sounds like Liam alright. He calls himself a hunter, but pretty sure he’s just a fucking thief. Slick fucking bastard, thinking he’s the shit.” He lowered to a mumble as a dusting of red started to glow from his cheeks, “Just ‘cause he’s strong and could kill me with those fangs - thinks he’s so great. I’ll shove it down his throat sometime, but he’d probably just laugh and push me down. Fuckin…”

Keith was not the least bit oblivious to Hux’s crush, but chose not to comment on it… with other people there. In private, he’d gladly tease him mercilessly.

… okay, maaaaybe Keith couldn’t resist. “Dude fought through a flock of geese. Actually caught one or two. You should’ve seen it.”

“Of course he did!” Pause. “Did he save any?”

“Absolutely not, but maybe you can lick the blood off his fangs.”

Hux turned bright red, eyes going huge at the idea, and Keith laughed uproariously.

Desperately wanting to change the subject, Hux yelled out, “OKAY PRESENTS NOW.” But he couldn’t drown out Keith and glared at the traitor. “I hate you.”

*

Ah, now Alex's wariness made plenty of sense. Hux was one of those Lamia that had high defenses up at all times. Valerie wasn't surprised that he seemed particularly against her, either. She was a stranger and if he already didn't like humans then she was doubly on his shit list. It was a good thing she didn't have a burning need for him to like her, and being insulted wasn't new either.

Currant, on the other hand, never liked to hear her be insulted. He wasn't normally a very confrontational Lamia but he would happily throw his weight around if it meant she wasn't sad. His hidden bastard side came out to play the moment he sensed something that he could pick at, the only reason he didn't let loose on a barrage of verbal hatred was because Piper was there.

"hope ya never have kids with that mouth," Currant hissed, cupping a hand around where Piper's head was. Like that would prevent him from waking and hearing the garbage Hux was spouting.

Marmalade didn't understand the teasing. Of course Hux would want to mate with a Mamba, it just made the most sense. Sure, Liam wasn't as great as Sangria but a Mamba was a great catch as a bondmate. It likely helped that Liam and Hux were closer in size, any larger of a Mamba and Hux would be pining forever. But there was more important things to worry about, other than what some stranger wanted to mate with.

Hux had insulted Valerie.

At any other time, Marmalade might have let it go. He was a gentle Lamia at his core and Val really disliked when they fought but he was more than capable of defending himself and her. Better Marmalade take care of this than Sangria decide that Hux no longer deserved the pleasure of being alive. Should they ever meet, that is.

"dude," Marmalade deadpanned. His tail coiled around Val, a flash of warning in his gaze. "insult whatever human ya fancy but keep yer opinions on our human to yerself, got it?"

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife... holy shit. "Anyway!" Valerie blurted, pulling one of the geodes out so Hux could see it. Hopefully nipping any fights in the bud. "I have some geodes. Liam seemed to think they were pretty and I'm sure that he would love whatever you didn't want."

Please, she mentally begged. Take them and don't fight.

*

Hux wasn’t so easily dissuaded, at least not from Marmalade. “Wow, geez. Ya don’t have to be so desperate to suck her lady-“

“HUX! CHILD!” Keith knew too well what was probably about to come from Hux’s mouth. “Also that’s just rude!”

Hux huffed. “Right right, whatever. Soul bonds and whatever, who needs that shit! You don’t, right?” He looked up at Keith, grinning in a fakely laid-back way.

Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking away, “Right.” He was lying through his teeth.

“Bros before hoes,” Hux said. “But geez. That weirdo can’t keep her hands off nobody, huh? How do you guys stand that? She tastes like bug spray and dirt.”

Keith sighed, “She works outside.”

“Whatever.”

…

“Do you want the rocks?” Keith said. “No. I know you want the rocks. Are you gonna stop being a butt long enough to take them, or should I keep them forever?” He could take the guy’s vitriol, and he’d rather Hux come at him than the others. That shit could just roll off his scales, and they’d make up when he wasn’t as tense. The others didn’t have that option.

“… yes please,” Hux said, looking aside and blushing. “Oh. And good. I’d be a shit parent, mom or dad. Why have them anyways? Not like they wouldn’t end up being given out… But the rocks will be mine forever!”

*

Valerie usually had no trouble keeping her own vulgarity in check, because she didn't want any of the boys to pick up on her own foul mouth, but Hux was clearly deserving of a brand new title. It was a lot harder to insult her than it was to piss off her boys. Of course he would cause her filter to fly out the window. "Wow. You're a little shit."

Currant huffed, annoyed but amused at the same time. Hux was obviously no threat, likely all talk, so he was easily dismissed. At least by Currant. Marmalade, however, was giving Keith a peculiar look and making no secret of it. It was obvious that nobody else knew about the bond he shared with Alex and he was lying about it. Badly, at that.

Which, fair. Hux clearly didn't like humans for whatever reason and they did live in the same center. But to deny a soulbond... no Chain should ever want to do anything like that. Marmalade cocked his head, staring at Hux now and occasionally shifting his attention to Keith.

"every chain has a soulbond," Currant huffed, not paying attention to Hux but keeping half a mind on the conversation. "even a baby knows that. an unless yer bonded died they're out there."

Probably not the best thing to say but Val hoped to distract Hux with the geodes. Now it was her turn to be a bit of a little shit because he wasn't getting one unless he took it from her. She was likely just as used to hearing nasty comments from someone as Keith was. Hux kind of reminded her of her brothers, thinking that everyone wanted the same things out of life.

"I don't get the craze about having kids either," Val shrugged, waving a geode. "And they're geodes , not rocks. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Rocks can be found anywhere but geodes are rocks with crystals inside."

*

“I ain’t denying it,” he huffed. “Keeps the weirdos away.”

Keith couldn’t meet Marmalade’s eyes. He could guess we’ll enough what the other was thinking. Hiding a soul bond, he must be nuts! But he’s not even sure if it’s legit, not if Alex hasn’t said anything, and she hasn’t made any move to adopt either, so why get Hux all worked up?

“Yeah, well, either the fucker’s dead, or ain’t interested,” Hux said, curling protectively around Keith and hugging him insistently. “We’re lifers, right dude?”

“‘Course we are. Twenty-four years and nothing, why would there be…” Maybe it was just sheer desperation making him drawn to Alex. Maybe the cookies, or the dice. Could you be so wanting that you accidentally faked one with the wrong person just fo have something?

Hux went, “Pffft. A Crystal is a rock. It’s just a good rock. I mean, Great Danes are good dogs, but they’re still dogs. And hey, I ain’t above a rock collection…” He was still coiled around Keith, physically insisting on affection from the other (who, indeed, gave him a hug, stroking his skull) as he kept his eyes on the prize. “What do you say dude? Split ‘em best we can? Look like they come in halves, so I take one half and you the other?” It was like a friendship bracelet, but expensive and actually something they both wanted.

“Ya gotta convince her to give you your half first,” Keith said.

“You said you’d get them otherwise! So just give me half.”

“Eeeeh… I’ll consider it.” He was grinning cheekily, tongue flicking out as he leaned his weight against Hux.

“Rude.”

“I know ya are, I’m just another victim of gravity,” Keith said.

Hux was getting slowly crushed. “Why are you like this.”

“You looooove me.”

“Shut up… but yeah…”

*

Hux wasn't wrong. Being a little shit did keep the weirdos away. That was something Valerie knew from experience. She felt that, had things been different, she might have gotten along with Hux and even liked how blunt he was. The way Hux acted about humans and getting adopted made her wonder why he acted that way. Had something happened or had he just been passed up too many times?

Keith should certainly have been wary of meeting Marmalade's gaze because Marmalade was staring even harder. He doubted that the bond between Keith and Alex was fake, he'd never heard of a Chain that couldn't form that bond, so whatever foolish thoughts Keith was having were likely false. Unless... did Keith just not know anything about soulbonds? Humans didn't always feel it, especially if they were a little more on the dense side.

It would be a miracle if Marmalade kept his mouth shut.... and he just couldn't allow Keith to get away with denying it. "or the human jus' don' know what it feels like. ya can' acknowledge a bond without knowin' it's there."

"A crystal is not a rock," Val denied, already having researched this because Sangria hated rocks being in the house. "Crystals are made up of a highly ordered arrangement of atoms that repeat in a three dimensional pattern, they're closer to minerals."

The dedication Hux had for his friendships was admirable but he was still a little shit and he riled Val's inner sass to maximum levels. She still held the geode aloft, fully prepared to offer them to someone else if Hux continued to resist.

"I mean I guess if you're too chicken to grab one," she hummed, pretending to look around for someone else to give it to. "I can always find another Lamia that might want a geode."

"snrk!"

Trust Currant to recognize her game, she'd played it with him often enough.

*

“I guess?” Keith said. “Some people can have trouble with they stuff I guess…”

Trousle looked at Keith, unamused, “It’s not like it’ll change everything. You’re not a slave to it, you know.”

“Really? ‘Cause, uh… honestly, I don’t know how you guys do it,” Hux said, looking at Marmalade, “Or even why. Someone hijacks your soul and makes you feel shit, so you get closer and make it worse. Why deal with that? Why not just run and hope it goes away? ‘Cause it sounds like some kinda fucked up brainwashing to me.”

Keith kept his mouth shut. In the past he’d agreed with Hux to some extent, but now he wasn’t sure… Was that proof that Hux was wrong though, or that he was right and Keith was just falling victim to it?

While Keith was distracted, Hux tried to slither out from under him to grab the geodes, but Keith still had the presence of mind to flop down even harder, quietly delighting in the noises of rage even through his thoughts.

Nikolai finally walked back in - making Hux stiffen up because he was absolutely caught being a dick again - with a light blue teddy bear that looked like it’d been through its paces. The scent of home was soaked into it, and he’d noticed that Piper especially tended to like it. “Here. He likes curling around it when he’s tired or not feeling the best.” He’d gotten oddly protective of the toy at times, fending off those who’d try to hunt it. Best he could tell, he was trying to mimic Cobalt - the little mamba who defended him from teasing - but with Mr. Bluebeary.

“Now then, what exactly’s happening here?” Nikolai followed up.

“Keith’s crushing meeeeee,” Hux whined, making grabby hands for the geodes while trying to wiggle out. Maybe he could get sympathy?

“Hux is being rude.” Trousle said.

Nikolai was not remotely surprised. “Hux. Don’t be a jerk. Especially not if you’re the one seeking out the people!”

“I didn’t!”

“Why are you in the supplies closet then?”

“…”

Nikolai sighed. “Sorry about him. Are you all alright?”

*

"'s nothin' like brainwashin'," Marmalade said, a slight hiss in his tone. The very idea that he would be forced into a bond was insulting to everything that he was. It clearly showed that none of them understood the bond at all. If Keith did, he wasn't showing it. "the human has nothin' to do with the bond. 's all in the chain. we feel the bond an we decide if we forge it or not. 's a matter of feelin' complete, havin' someone that understands."

Trying to explain how right a completed bond felt was not dissimilar to attempting to explain astrophysics to a toddler. Marmalade's gaze was inevitably drawn to his bonded human, the one who had calmed his doubts and made him feel like he had worth beyond his species. He hadn't thought he would ever get a human either but Marmalade had known as soon as she walked in that she was his and that made her perfect.

"yer bonded fills a void you didn' know you had," he settled on. "but tha's not all they do. 's different for every chain. you jus'... you know tha' the human is fer you and that you would make their world brighter."

It was in no way accurate for what the bond was, any Chain would know that, but the soulbond wasn't so easily defined by one Lamia. What the bond meant to Marmalade would likely not be what it meant to Keith, or any other Lamia.

"Aw," Val cooed, tucking the bear into Currant's jacket so Piper could cuddle it in his sleep. "Thank you, Nikolai."

As much of a shithead as Hux was being, he still didn't deserve to be punished for caring about his friends and not wanting to be alone. So Valerie allowed him to try and hide his blunder, even if it didn't work, and didn't even try to hide her snicker. Hux may have been an asshole but he wasn't a complete lost cause.

"Clearly he wanted the geodes he must have smelled," Val countered. She was giving Hux an out, giving him a way so he didn't have to seem like he'd sought out a human and had just been drawn by presents. She did take pity on his woes and gently laid the geodes into his hands, a collection of them ranging in color and size. "He's quite the character, Nikolai. An absolute little shit."

"snrk!!"

"val," Marmalade laughed.

"I'm fine," she beamed. "Honestly, Hux may be a little shit but Keith seemed to have him well in coils."

*

Piper subconsciously coiled around Mr. Bluebeary in his sleep (apparently just absolutely exhausted since he slept through this), letting out a sleepy purr.

Keith should theoretically know better, and Nikolai and other Chain have told him better, but… Well, after all those years without one, all those years of him and Hux living together, all those years of watching others leave and clinging to those who’d probably stay…

It hurt less to convince himself that it was brainwashing. Hurt less to say he didn’t need one. Hurt less to pretend to pity those who went off happily with their bond mates instead of being jealous…

And then he found one, and she’s actually pretty sweet and fun and just a bit of a weirdo, just like them. Then he started looking forward to her coming. But the old thoughts still haunted his mind, saying he’d been forced into it, that it wasn’t real, but why not?

Keith kept his mouth shut on the matter.

Hux, thankfully, took the bait this time and decided to keep his mouth shut, instead greedily putting as much of himself as he could over the geodes as he inspected them. “Thanks.” His eyes were starting to go wide like Currant’s as he looked inside, peering at the crystals and the way they shimmered, catching the light. “Changed my mind. I ain’t sharing.” He was absolutely keeping these forever.

Nikolai attempted to stifle his laugh, but a chuckle still slipped through, “An apt description of him.”

“I love you, but yes,” Trousle said. Even he wouldn’t deny it.

“Eh… He’s my buddy,” Keith said. “Just a bit prickly.” He captured Hux further in a big hug. Only Hux’s head was sticking out now, the rest trapped under Keith. “Kinda a goober too.”

Hux pressed his face to the floor to hide the rising blush.

*

Currant cooed at Piper, delighted and so enthralled with having a young one to watch over that he didn't care about anything else. Didn't care about anyone else. Marmalade finally allowed the conversation about soulbonds to drop, feeling he had made his point. He peeked closer at Piper, the little guy not having been handed to him, and carefully made sure to take in the Pygmy's scent. Piper would be safer if Marmalade made sure he remembered what he smelled like.

Now Hux was starting to sound like Currant, too. Hoarding the geodes beneath his coils. It was always a little strange to see just how similar different Lamia were within their own species. Yet they were so different too. Hux had finally taken his eyes off her and she didn't feel like he was waiting to take a bite out of her if she moved wrong.

"I've found that the little shits are worth the most," Valerie said, agreeing with Keith. "It's the ones you work with, the friends you make that you have to fight for, that are the best you can have. Hux is one of those lifer friends, isn't he?"

"seems that way," Marmalade muttered, eyeing Hux's position on the ground.

But this was also an experience that Valerie couldn't pass up! She whipped out her phone and snapped a quick picture of Hux, trapped beneath Keith's coils, and sent it off to the boys at home with the caption a little shit being taken in coil with an appropriate amount of giggling. The picture she got in return was.... not a picture at all. Loud laughter spilled from her phone.

"LITTLE SHIT," Sangria wheezed in the video and she saw the grin Lapis directed at the phone camera, along with his typical finger guns.

"Why didn't I think of that?" she whisper-yelled. "A video call with my boys at home... ohmystars I feel like an idiot."

"eh," Marmalade grinned. "val's kinda a goober too."

*

Piper is happily snuggled against his teddy in his new best friend’s pocket with his favorite teddy. That is one blissful bitty bones.

Keith nodded, “Yeah, Hux is a lifer. I ain’t leaving him in to dust for anything or anyone.”

Hux groaned as he realized he was being laughed at, “Just end me now.”

“Nah. You’re trapped in cuddle land,” Keith said lazily, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

“How dare,” Hux said with absolutely no bite, enjoying this but also super embarrassed.

Nikolai chuckled, “These two are quite the pair. Good to hear from you.”

“I’m guessing one of ya is the famed Sangria,” Hux said. “Hey Currant, wanna show ‘em your new lil treasure?” Let the dude show off. It’ll be adorable.

Nikolai had no objections to this. If anything, he was trying to get closer to see Sangria and Lapis’s reactions.

*

Sangria puffed up in the video, gloves hands upon his hips and grin widening at the fact that people knew his name without having to be introduced. Yes, his malevolence was well known to Lamia all over! He didn't quite know how to ask Val how everything was going but things seemed to be going alright. Lapis was giggling, obviously being the one that was holding the phone.

He was hoping that Valerie wasn't bringing any of the full-sized hooligans into his territory, perking at the mention of a treasure.

"Oh, Sangria, he's adorable!" Val was gushing, pointing the camera towards Piper's sleeping face. "Look at him!"

Everyone was treated to the sight of Sangria's eye lights going huge in his sockets, slit pupils expanding into circles that nearly overtook the color. Lapis peeked around the phone so he could see what had caused that reaction. His grin widened.

"IS THAT A CHILD?" Sangria whispered, looking like he wanted to get closer. "ADMIRAL COME LOOK!"

Within seconds there was a cluster of eyes and skulls looking at Piper, a group of cooing Lamia enthused to see him. Well, Valerie hadn't expected this kind of reaction. They had even ignored Nikolai's introduction!

"HI!" Admiral squealed at them, being the first to notice all the others. His darkened socket and scarred cheek momentarily taking up the screen. "Baby?? BABY, BABY, BABY!!"

Aaaand he was off, distantly screeching.

"'pologies," Lapis drawled lazily. Sangria squeaked, demanding he be released so he could speak to everyone. Looks like Admiral was overcome by the zoomies. "mighta gave the kid a lil' too much caffeine."

Caffeine? A caffeinated Pygmy?

That was terrifying!

*

At all the noise, Piper started to stir, eyes peeking open as his mouth opened in a yawn. He started stretching out to wake up, but his coils instead tightened around Mr. Bluebeary. His head bobbed up and down as he fought to wake up, squeaking and chirping, but he lost and drifted back to sleep against his fuzzy little friend.

Nikolai chuckled, giving Piper a little head pat, “He got so excited when he found out about our park week that he didn’t sleep for a few days. Between that and all the excitement of being outside and meeting you, I’m sure he’s exhausted himself.” He then turned to Lapis, “And you. What in the vast reaches of the entire universe possessed you to over caffeinate a Pygmy?”

“Dude. You’re braver than me,” Hux said. “The zoomies would be horrifying.”

“Good luck Sangria,” Keith said, not wishing this fate on any. Well, at least they didn’t over-caffeinate a mamba…

*

The little sounds Piper made as he settled back into sleep were the most adorable thing Valerie had heard in a while and she barely resisted the urge to scoop him up and cuddle him close. He was going to do well with her boys, they'd keep him busy and make sure he was able to sleep through the night. Soon, he would have them all wrapped up in his adorable shenanigans.

"Lapis," she groaned, horrified at the idea of Admiral hyped up on caffeine. "I know you love your pranks but this... I don't see the a peel here."

Lapis beamed, giggling to himself and turning the phone so they could watch Sangria zip around after Admiral. The Pygmy was climbing all over the furniture and babbling too fast at the windows for his words to make any sense. These zoomies were fast-paced and chaotic, Admiral's voice so enthusiastic that Sangria was grinning.

"not brave," Lapis corrected. "jus' need to make sure sangria sleeps tonight. what better way than to have him chase admiral?"

"Its possible Sangria doesn't care," Valerie laughed. "But you had better not caffeinate Piper, Lapis. We don't need two zooming Pygmy."

She had to pause to mentally picture that and it was.... enough to make her nervous. Lapis would absolutely do that to her if he felt like she could handle it and it would be funny.

"thought it'd be funny," the Corny shrugged. "they were both mopin' around."

*

“He’s too young for it right now anyways,” Nikolai said, always the responsible parent. “And keep in mind, at his size, a little caffeine goes a much longer way. I wouldn’t give him anything stronger than white tea and dark chocolate, even as an adult.”

“That sounds like a way to do it though,” Hux said. “And a hilarious way at that! Why deal with mopes when you can watch ‘em zoom?”

“I almost wanna argue against that, but I can’t,” Keith said.

Even Nikolai had to admit, “I suppose that is a strategy…”

*

Valerie turned a mildly horrified look to Hux and Keith, knowing it was already too late to stop the monster they'd created. Lapis was a lazy guy, sure, but when it came to pranks and causing chaos he was the best in the house. And they were fueling his fire by the way he grinned at them.

"jus' make sure nothin' breaks," Currant grumbled with narrowed sockets. "they could go outside."

"a great idea," was Lapis' easygoing reply. "more roomie for the zoomie."

"What have you done?" Val groaned, watching the train wreck happening at her home. Lapis had opened the front door and Admiral was off like a rocket, Sangria hot on his tail. She couldn't help but smile at the way they zipped through the grass and trees, Admiral briefly posing on top of the basking rock with a 'MWEH HEH HEH' that was too cute.

"an when three o' them zoom together..." Marmalade shuddered. "stars..."

*

Nikolai was thinking to himself… partly out loud. “I suppose if Liam gets bored, that’s a way to do it…”

Hux laughed and flashed a devious grin, “I apologize for nothing.”

“I’m guilty as charged,” Keith said. “Agent of chaos, right here. Fear me.”

“Good luck if Piper zooms too,” Hux says. “Kid tried to fight Liam, he might try Sangria too.”

“I am glad they are getting exercise, but there are better ways!” Trousle said, the electronic voice muffled between Hux and Keith. “Like watching Avatar and trying to do the martial arts despite not having legs.”

*

"Oh stars," Val giggled, so horrified by her own imagination that she had ascended beyond groaning. "Imagine if someone caffeinated all the Mamba and Pygmy, though. It'd be an apocalypse!"

Now that she had said it aloud, Valerie felt like she might have just put pure chaos into the center's future. The only benefit she could find was that caffeine didn't last forever and the Lamia would crash pretty quickly.

"eh, sangria likes a challenger on occasion," Marmalade said with a snicker. "an piper 's already a dragon so sangria 'll be impressed. kid has guts."

"but he's jus' bones."

"Oh, Trousle," Val smiled. "Sweet summer child. My boys are basically feral when it comes to having fun and exercising! Even Lapis, the laziest noodle, has chaotic ways he moves when it's time."

"but val," Lapis cackled, "thought ya liked corny zoomies?"

"you jus' do the worm, though."

*

"Oh stars," Nikolai gasped in sheer horror at the thought. "I'm putting locks on all the coffees and tea. Staff only."

"Noooooooo...." Hux groaned, "I wanted to do it."

"I take no responsibility whether it does or does not happen," Keith said. He wasn't gonna bring the apocalypse, but wouldn't stop it either...

Trousle grinned, "Well then! We should hang out sometime! I bet I could "worm" better than you! Lazybones! Heart. Heart. Heart." He stuck his tongue out, wiggling playfully.

*

"That's probably for the best, really." She shuddered a little, cursing her own imagination with every colorful swear she knew. "Better watch the keys too. If you have any Cornies that are even remotely like Lapis, those keys might get stolen. Or the locks picked."

"or you could convince someone on staff tha' you wanted tea an jus' encourage a Mamba an Pygmy hoard to attack the hiding place," Marmalade said with a grin.

"whose side are you even on?" Currant demanded.

"anarchy," was the deadpan response.

"oh," Lapis peered closer to the phone. "hey there, kid. didn't know a papython was around. cool scarf... the worm ain't exactly a papython move, not cool enough, but it'd be fun."

*

"It's okay, I'm the small one! I understand." Trousle said. "Thank you! Val gave it to me! It looks so great!"

"There's no stopping the apocalypse. Just stock up while you can," Nikolai said.

Hux and Keith were laughing.

"I heard that we're not telling Cornies something?" said a Corny. "Also, pass the water bandages, will ya? Rings got cut on a rock."

"Oozy! My man!" Keith chirped.

Nikolai gave Oozy the bandages.

"Give him a pet, yeah? He likes those," Hux said to Val. The layer of ooze on Oozy was thinner and clearer than usual, water having diluted and washed quite a bit away, but there was still a hard-to-see the layer of slime on him.

Oozy was too wrapped up in what he wasn't supposed to be doing to pay attention to the waterproof wrappings (or Hux) though. "Soooooo... what am I absolutely not supposed to know?"

*

"yeah, she loves to give gifts. can't wait to meet you, kid."

There was no doubt that Valerie would be going to the center to see Trousle and all of them again. Next time it would be a big thing where everyone would go.

This new side to Hux was a far cry better than him being a little shit. It felt more like the real Hux had made an appearance and Keith was right, he was a huge goober.

"anarchy now," Marmalade declared. "didn' want a corny to know someone was plannin' on caffeinatin' the mamba an pygmy to bring about the apocalypse."

"don' forget the lockpickin'," Lapis delighted in tacking on.

But Val wasn't really listening to them. She was looking at Oozy and trying to decide if Hux was playing a trick on her or not. It wasn't typical for her to just reach out and pet a Lamia without asking first but even if Oozy did bite her, he wasn't venomous and the worst that could happen is it would hurt. It wouldn't even be the worst pain.

So Val reached out and pet Oozy on the back of the skull. The resulting mucus on her hand was disgusting but also very interesting to pet and she became far more invested in petting it than was normal. She made a noise of intrigue, reminded of patting mud pies as a kid.

"gross," was Currant's hiss.

*

“I look forward to meeting you too!” Trousle said. “Have you ever played DnD? My friends here and I play a few times a week!”

Oozy’s eyes widened, “That sounds like a disaster…” He was totally saving that idea for when he got bored. “Lock Picking Lawyer is pretty cool. I started watching him on one of my YouTube dives. Heh. Learned a lot about locks.”

Oozy’s eyes were on Val’s handy; he was giddy with anticipation, both for the affection and the almost inevitable gross-out. The dude couldn’t help giggling at the face she made, but would never say no to some friendly pets. He shrugged at Currant, used to it, “Eh, it’s life. Slimy, slimy life. Name’s Oozy, good to meet y’all.”

Hux was also laughing at poor Val for falling for it. Keith mentally gave her props for petting him anyways, even if it might’ve been morbid curiosity.

“Mmm… Geez, this has been a good year with girls for me. Might get spoiled at this rate,” Oozy said, longing to capture her in a cuddle, but he got the feeling that would just gross her out. Ah well, someday maybe.

*

"i've helped val make dnd characters before, when she was feeling like drawing chaos. never played any."

"lapis can pick locks, somehow." And Marmalade was still in awe of that random talent. None of them even knew where he'd picked up that skill from. Val couldn't reliably hide anything from him if he became determined enough to get it.

Currant was staring at Val's hand as she petsOozy. This must have been how people felt when they witnessed a horrible accident, horrified but unable to look away. The more she pet the more interested she became and the most enthusiastic about continuing to pet him. It was gross, yeah, but she was fascinated by the fact he was slimy. Like a frog or a salamander.

"Ohmystars," she breathed, using both hands to pet and probably resembling a kid meeting Santa for the first time. "This is so gross but so cool too! You feel like a salamander, ohmygodwhydidtheynameyouOozywhenyoufeellikethis???"

"oh no..."

*

“I could teach you if you want! Keith DMs.”

“I’m Keith,” Keith says, trying to keep Lapis up to speed, “The one I’m sitting on is Hux. Our King is Nikolai.”

Oozy’s eyes went starry and he splayed himself out for maximum petting. “Right? Heh. We can’t quite figure out why? But it’s a thicker ooze when I ain’t wet… or haven’t been in water recently, I’m always kinda wet. And, well, there have been worse Corny names. We seem to attract them.”

“Poor Spoon,” Nikolai said. “I should get naming guidelines…”

“Still better than Radish,” Hux said.

“I think Radish was a honeybo though,” Keith said.

“Still kinda respect the hastily renamed Mamba ‘Little Tucker.’” Oozy said with a grin, bearing his throat for some neck-scratches.

“Princess Garbage Lamp thankfully had that name changed,” Nikolai said.

“Didn’t YOU start that nickname?”

“In my defense, you weren’t born yet to witness that fiasco.”

*

"that'd be great, kid."

The amount of shenanigans that Lapis could inflict upon them is enough to make Currant and Marmalade giggle like schoolgirls. Lapis is still smiling but they can tell he wishes he was the one getting the pets and attention that Oozy is getting. Val was so excited about something different.

"I named my boys after colors," Val's voice was distracted, the feel of Oozy beneath her hands much more interesting. She itched to take pictures so she could draw this later, knowing it would be a huge boon to her visual library. "Color names are the best."

"val's an artist so she likes to name us after stuff she likes an knows." Currant paused, flushing a little. "she also tends to call us gems."

"the truth comes out," Marmalade teased. "nikolai can't name."

"Does it float in the water?" Valerie asked, moving her petting to Oozy's neck and using her nails to scratch lightly at his prompting. "Like, does it come off you and float? Or does your body absorb it, somehow? Does it have a taste? What does it mean for your scales? Do you shed?"

*

Keith smiled, “That’s adorable actually. Like, it’s freaking precious when someone shares part of what’s special to them with you.”

Nikolai agrees with the sentiment, but is also blushing, “I have many talents. Naming isn’t one of them.”

Oozy purrs deep in his chest, eyes shutting in bliss. “Depends on how thick it’s gotten. Fresher ooze might thin out a little bit, but if I’ve been sleeping in it a while, it’ll probably slough off and dissolve after a while. I’m kinda numb to the taste, but apparently, it’s got a salty and tangy vibe, but gets bitter if it stays there too long. I apparently have really uneven shedding, more like parts of the skin just get really soft until a slight bump tears it off. Usually dusts before it fully leaves the slime. I can’t really feel it when it happens though. From what we can tell, this stuff has ups and downs. Have to be careful about fungi, but I out-ick most other grossness. It seals up any cuts, burns, or whatever I might get and keeps them more or less sterile. Not that I get hurt much…”

*

"prolly also helps that none of us had names," Marmalade added. "the center we came from didn' give us names, we knew who was being talked to without that. Jus' easier to let adopters name us."

"don' think piper will get a different name though," Currant said, finally having enough and slithering off Val. "'s a cute name."

Valerie was far more interested in what Oozy had going on. She wasn't inclined towards science but she was curious about everything new that she found out. It must have been a little inconvenient to be covered in goop but it was fascinating that he knew so much about it. She was almost tempted to taste it just to see but Valerie wasn't that adventurous when it cameto trying new things. His word that it was salty-tangy was more than enough.

"Shame you didn't use the pun," she finally grumbled. "Coulda said something about how you can't become too much of a fun gi... But it's really cool. Like a protective layer, right?"

*

“We tried that, but names stick,” Nikolai says. “It’s almost impossible for them NOT to end up called something.”

Oozy’s eyes went wide and he laughed, “Dude. That’s hissterical. You’re really treating me to a good slime here!” He laughed a little more, then went back to explaining, “Maybe? I won’t say I’m entirely unique, but it’s a super rare condition. Ain’t been many chances to study if, so no one’s fully sure what causes it. I’ve had some science dudes and doctors and stuff come look at me. Nothing bad of course. Pretty sure Nikolai would’ve maimed them if they tried to go mad scientist.

“We’ve got a few theories. Some think that my soul is really stubborn in believing that I’m supposed to be an amphibian, or maybe I had an ancestor or two who were part frog or salamander or something. Others think there’s an issue in magic processing, like maybe my body just doesn’t know to slow down, or maybe something in that whole process is just completely borked. Point is, we ain’t sure. We’ve narrowed out a few possibilities, but don’t know why I do this, how to make it stop, or if that’d even be a good idea.

“But eh… whooze worried ‘bout that anyways?”

*

Oh no, he was a typical Corny all right. Puns, something Valerie had only really started to find funny after getting Lapis, spilling forward so easily she was momentarily stunned. He was slightly better than Lapis was and that feat was impressive enough she would have made sparkle eyes at Oozy if she could.

"Or maybe it's just you being such a slick guy that you can't contain it." She wiggled her eyebrows comically, a wheeze from Marmalade accompanying her words, and wasn't she just the smuggest person ever at that? "I guess you could also come from mixed genetics... maybe you had someone aquatic in your history? Aquatic creatures produce a slime too."

She was trying to resist commenting how he might actually be aslug, a lazy slug, but figured that would be rude. And then she had a sudden epiphany that caused her so much glee it almost physically manifested in a subtle glow from her chest.

"Or maybe..." she bit her lip, fighting back a massive grin. "You're a sea slug."

*

Oozy didn't even try to stifle his chuckling as a grin split his face, but he absolutely lost it at sea slug, letting out one of those "Pffffft"s of when you're caught off guard, then throwing his head back in laughter with his hand on his face. "Dude. Omg. That's a newt one. Good thing I'm a sea slug though and not a regular one, 'cause I'm being assalted with puns! Eel give you that, you're pretty good."

Hux was audibly groaning, getting more and more exasperated with every passing pun. Keith was laughing along while Nikolai fondly watched.

*

Valerie lost her battle with laughter, Currant's sockets narrowed in warning while Marmalade nearly collapsed as he wheezed along. She also heard Lapis giggling from the phone, beside himself with the fact he had so thoroughly corrupt her sense of humor with his own shenanigans.

"They just keep coming and I didn't even planet that way. Lapis' humor just seemed to mussel in when I brought him home. I'm not shellfish with the puns, either. Feel free to use 'em anytime."

Marmalade was wheezing so heavily that she was honestly concerned about his health and Lapis had descended into such high pitch giggles that she felt proud of herself. No Corny stood a chance now.

*

Oozy wasn’t sure he could top that. And he DEFINITELY couldn’t while he was too busy laughing his ass off to breathe. Hux was screaming into the floor in exaggerated anguish. Keith was howling. Even Nikolai was laughing along with the rest. This was the best possible result.

And through it all, a confused Krait awkwardly takes the water bandages from where Oozy sat them down, slithering back to the rest and avoiding whatever all this is.

*

It was comical, how she sat back with such a smug look on her face while surrounded by hysterical Lamia in various stages of horror or laughter. They were all lucky they wouldn't pass out from laughing so much or she might have been in trouble. Currant had grown used to the insane amount of shenanigans so he wasn't quite screaming but he certainly wasn't amused by the chaos.

Well, Marmalade had declared that it was anarchy now!

"Don't terrier yourself up about this. I'm pawsitive you can pun back. Though all this laughter is a nice jester from you."

Marmalade was on the ground, almost convulsing with laughter and she didn't even know Lamia could do that.

*

“Hey, hehehe,” Oozy was trying to talk through snorts of laughter, “Oh geez, pffft. Throw me a bone here! You’re doggone good at this, but I’m feline fine!”

“How did we get to cats and dogs? We’re snakes,” Nikolai said with amused befuddlement.

“Eh, she’s petter at some puns than me, but she’s not weaseling her way out of this so easily!”

Hux let out a muffled scream of, “I’M IN HELL.”

Trousle was trying to hide laughter behind an exasperated facepalm.

*

"Oooh, getting into a tearable pun territory now," she teased. "Well, I have a meowtain of puns. Dog puns are a bit ruff but I'm sure I can mange a few. Don't worry, you'll achieve grapeness if you wine a little."

The puns were all over the place and that was what had Marmalade on the ground, flailing around. Lapis never punned with Val like this and now that he knew she could they were all doomed. Just a little taste and Marmalade was unable to control himself. Lapis was sobbing now and showed no signs of stopping.

"look what you did!" Currant announced with a small screech of dismay.

"no grater way to go," Lapis wheezed.

*

“These puns are starting to get cheesy, but I’ll brie fine. Cheddar get ready, I can milk this for all it’s worth if ya let me have my curds ‘n way.” Oozy was NOT one to back down from a pun-off.

This was the most effort Nikolai had seen him put in in a while, so he wasn’t going to stop him…

Oozy kept going, “Cheese and crackers, sometimes I can go against the grain. Wheat’re ya gonna do plow?” He has no regrets. “I’ll keep punnin’ till the cows come home, no need to raise the afarm, but y’know, there’s a reason they call me - (snrk) - Corny.”

*

Oozy was good at this! Val had to pause for just a moment to try and think of a few things she could use. His means of punning was very one track, with a single vein that he went into and kept on, but she tended to like chaotic punnery instead.

A pun battle it would be, then.

"You've goat to wait for gouda puns. Don't pastaway on me now or we'll have a latte problems. Meow you've gone and bun it. Beating you at a pun battle won't be impastable for someone like me. Beclaws I've been practicing."

*

“I’d say it’s your mewve, but I’ll whisker ya away with these, and cat’s not all I have to say.

“Victory’s fleece-ing, but you can sheep well tonight. Cow about ya keep trying, or are ya chicken?

“‘Cause that won’t cut it. Not to hammer in the point, but I’ve nailed it. You saw it, right? I’ve got the tools to win.”

*

Val resisted her laughter for all of five seconds before she snorted. It was loud and hurt a little but it heralded the end of her pun game as she then descended into her hysterics. Keeping up with a Corny was difficult but her mind felt good from having to think up all those puns and her soul felt lighter. He'd been a perfect opponent to flex her punning muscle against.

"I don't think I can top that," she giggled, petting him with barely a twitch. "Probably a good thing too because I think Marmalade is having a fit."

Which was only partially true. Marmalade had exhausted himself and was flopped into a pile on the ground, twitching every time he snickered.

"that was a pawesome pun battle," Lapis declared from the phone. "Cornies win again."

*

Hux was still just screaming into the ground, muffled under a pile of Keith. Keith was coming down from his bout of hysterics (albeit as much from Hux's reaction as the puns themselves), and Oozy grinned. "That was great. Heh, haven't done that in a hot minute. You're dang good at this, y'know? Like, super good."

*

Hopefully, Hux would realize they weren't punning anymore and calm down. It had felt good to be able to sit back and dish out whatever randomness her brain conjured up, pun battle or not. Valerie was just happy to have not made a complete fool of herself. Shame no other Corny had joined in, it would likely have caused permanent mental damage to someone.

"So it's been a cold minute?" She couldn't prevent the question, grin turning smug once more. "Lapis has ruined my sense of humor for all eternity. Puns were one of those things I used to do without realizing but I notice them a lot now. And they're funny!"

*

"I think you mean he improved it, heh," Oozy said. "Man, that was great. Thanks, lil corny. Lil popcorn. Nah, popcorn's too energetic. You're a Kernal. Thanks, Kernal."

"Bet you wish you were that good at nicknames," Keith said to Nikolai.

"It was ONE time! And you know good and well what that Corny did with that lamp."

Hux huffed, finally calming, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Many things," Trousle said. "You might be prickly, but you still deserve Keith’s cuddles!"

"... You can't pull that surprise sweet shit on me like that," Hux said, red-faced.

"I can. You cannot stop me."

"Nikolai, make him stooooop."

"No," Nikolai said, heading towards the door, "I should be getting back now, who knows what's gone on while I was gone. I don't know when you'll be leaving, Val, but if you can, try to wait until Piper wakes up so he knows what's going on and gets a chance to say goodbye. Thank you."

*

"Depends on who you ask, I guess." Clearly, Hux and Currant thought her sense of humor was ruined, although Currant changed his tune when she was telling him knock, knock jokes. "I'll never hear the end of it. He'll call himself that and Sangria will throw a fit until Lapis says he's waiting to pop into corn."

Which, again, was fair. But Sangria would be equal parts disgusted and horrified. They were lucky he hadn't heard their pun battle or she would never have been able to get away with leaving him out.

"nah, thank you buddy," Lapis said. "clearly I need to come along next time."

"clearly," Currant parroted, a pained look upon his face.

"Puh-lease," Val directed towards Hux. "It was obvious from the start you were secretly a huge softy beneath all the prickles. Just like a cactus."

It was, too. After a while, anyway.

"anarchy," was Marmalade's grave response to what had likely gone on in Nikolai's absence. "pure chaos."

"Oh yes, it was probably a Mamba apocalypse," Valerie agreed. "We'll stick around until Piper wakes up, let him say goodbye, and get numbers so you guys can talk to him until we come back around. I'll be making another donation to the center sometime in the next few weeks."

*

"I apologize for nothing," Oozy said with a shit-eating grin. "I look forward to seeing ya Kernal. We'll have a good slime. Hehehe."

"I'm glad I ain't the only sane one here. Other Coral. Help me!" He managed to wiggle an arm out, reaching for Currant. He was blushing more as he tried to ignore Val's assessment of him.

Nikolai let out a sigh that turned into a chuckle, "I shouldn't expect anything else. Oh well. I guess I'll go save the world." He went for the door, stopping long enough to say, "Thank you. We all appreciate it. I'm sure he'll be really happy with you." Then he left.

*

"as marmalade said, anarchy now," Lapis took great delight in repeating. "we'll have a whale of a good time."

Currant's initial assessment of Hux may not have been very nice but he did have some species pride. He huffed, as if aiding Hux was the greatest weight upon his shoulders, but reached out with his magic nonetheless. The fact that he had magic to spare was a matter of pride, his meals were so carefully planned out just for this reason. A crook of his fingers and he yanked Hux forward.

"Go save the day, Nikolai," Val said with a wave. "I'll try and make sure none of these hooligans get into trouble."

*

Hux whooped and stuck his tongue out at Keith as he managed his great escape… with aid. “Thanks, dude, owe us one.”

Nikolai chuckled, “I appreciate it. And good luck with that.”

Everyone waited for five seconds after he left. Then Oozy immediately said, “Alright, who wants to storm the coffee?”

“NO!” Hux snapped.

“Maaaaybe,” Keith drawled.

“Can I have some?” Trousle had a wide grin, bobbing back and forth in excitement.

“… what have I done,” Oozy said, staring down Trousle.

*

Now Val might have said she would watch the others but she doubted she'd be able to stop any shenanigans that might occur. Currant and Marmalade wouldn't join the chaos, she hoped, so it came down to watching all the others and making sure they didn't cause trouble. But of course Oozy would be the one that would have pranks on the mind, seeing as Cornies were agents of chaos.

"COFFEE?" She heard from the phone, a battle cry that sent her calm expression diving into horror. Sangria had a very distinct tone and he must have out zoomed Admiral to still be awake. The stamina of a Mamba was no joke. He didn't sound like he was as full of energy as usual but not tired either. "DO NOT GIVE COFFEE!"

"no roomie for the zoomie," Lapis announced sadly. "you're all in the city. too much could happen if ya give everyone coffee."

"like that would stop anyone," Currant huffed, cradling Piper against his chest and wondering how the kid could sleep through this.

"anarchy now," Marmalade agreed solemnly.

*

This did not discourage Oozy, "I'm gonna give 'em coffee. Just you wait! I'll do the Boston tea party, but in a krait pond with coffee! JUST TRY ME!"

Hux, trying to stop the apocalypse, pounced on Oozy, nose scrunched as he held the other down. "No. Nope. Nope nope nope nope."

"... ya have to get off eventually," Oozy said, not remotely struggling to get free.

"Bold of you to assume you can out-lazy me," Hux said.

Keith was laughing... and slithering off to grab some coffee.

Piper was stirring some now and then, making noises of displeasure at all the noise, but he'd been on and off zoomies for a few days without sleep. His body finally forced him...

Or tried to. "Coffee!" Piper yelled, demanding.

Oh no.

*

Secretly, or not so secretly, Val doubted Hux could out-lazy a Corny and that the apocalypse wouldn't be happening. She had resolved herself to witnessing the zooms that would be happening, feeling the looks of horror upon her for not stopping this. All she could hope is that it wouldn't be too bad.

And then she heard the little demand and all the terror crashed upon her shoulders. Currant was looking down in shock and Marmalade pressed his face into his coils.

"Oh no," Valerie whispered, scooping Piper up so she could pet him. Even if he wanted coffee she couldn't resist some cuddles from an adorable Pygmy. "I don't know if you'll like coffee, Piper. It's pretty bland."

Please let him be easily convinced by thinking coffee had to be served plain and nothing else.

"UNLESS YOU ADD SUGAR," Sangria muttered from the phone, drawing her stare. "ADMIRAL DRANK THE SWEET STUFF."

"Sangria," She whined but it was too late.

Oh no, indeed.

*

Keith has found a 12 pack of a certain type of cold-brew coffee in the fridge. He shook some of the snacks from the snack machine in trade, sticking a note on there that he regretted nothing.

Calmly, he went out and started distributing the contraband to Mambas and Pygmies.

“Nnnnn!!! But! Need zoom! Get to play outside but ‘m tired and ‘s not fair! Dun Wanna sleep…” He was getting fussy in the way an over-tired child does when they desperately want to keep having fun, little tears budding in his eyes and hiccuping. “Gimme zoom juice! Wanna play!”

*

Piper was hitting her right in the underdeveloped, curdled maternal instincts. He sounded like he was on the verge of a full-on tantrum and she didn't want him to get that upset over some coffee. It had been a while since she'd been around a fussy child that didn't make her want to run in the other direction.

It was an awful idea. She knew it was an awful idea. But Valerie couldn't deny Piper a little bit of fun before they left.

"OK," she took a deep breath. "You can have a small sip of zoom juice. Just a little bit. You can play but we do have to say goodbye. Sangria is waiting at home for you."

"INDEED," her large Mamba huffed. "IF YOU ZOOM NOW YOU'LL SLEEP ON THE DRIVE AND YOU CAN ZOOM AGAIN AT HOME."

*

Piper stared for a moment like he didn’t expect that to work. But once it processed that he had more playtime, he broke into giggles and a grin, trilling happily. “YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY! YA… Yawn AY!”

“Told ya you can’t stop me. I didn’t even have to escape,” Oozy said.

Hux had his jacket hood over his skull and was trying to melt into the ground to escape (ignoring that he could just, like… leave).

Outside, trouble was already brewing as the more energetic Lamia began to ZOOM! One mamba was trying to declare himself king of the entire world, hampered by the Pygmy who had decided to be a superhero all of the sudden and was playfully fighting him. A few bitty mamba were trying to tip over Val’s van (without success, thankfully). Nikolai was holding back swears as he tried to stop one mamba from starting a fire. A Pygmy had somehow trapped himself in a tire swing. It was chaos.

Keith was wondering when he should tell them it was decaf. Placebos are killer sometimes.

*

Some distant part of Val's brain thought she might have been played but she ignored it. Piper had no way of knowing of her soft spot for cute and small creatures, that the sight of tears would break down her walls faster than a wrecking ball. A sip of coffee wouldn't cause him any harm.

"You gonna come out with us, Hux?" She asked, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Most of the humans should be gone now that the zoom is happening so you don't have to worry about getting adopted. Plus... won't it be funny to see Nikolai handle this?"

Currant huffed at the blatant manipulation but even he doubted Hux would go out to see what had been brought upon the park. He was keen on watching Piper but just keeping up with his excitement from earlier had tired Currant out and he would have preferred going back into the van to sleep.

"let's get the kid some coffee," Marmalade drawled, slithering out before stopping at the chaos.

"Oh my," was Val's faint response, eyes wide as she stared at the sight of the zoomies. It was frightening. She didn't even want to go out there. "I don't know if I'm scared or impressed..."

*

In his defense, Piper wasn’t TRYING to be manipulative, he was upset about it. But usually, when he’d get fussy about needing sleep, people took him to bed and tried harder to have him sleep. But now he’s happy! He gets more zoom!!!

Currant could try to sleep in the van, but there were even MORE bitty mamba trying to push it over, some of them pushing from inside. Even with their combined might, it wasn’t happening.

Nikolai had to hiss some very stern warnings at Liam to keep him from helping, all while holding onto a teenaged, full-sized Pygmy that was trying his best to wiggle free.

Keith was coiled up next to Maia, having told her his trick.

And Hux was willing to watch from afar, if only to see the madness.

This only got better/worse when some random dude decided to make an impromptu donation of three dozen beach balls, including two gigantic ones. No one could escape from the park-wide impromptu game of dodgeball… except the pygmies and mamba that were reenacting the boulder scene from Indiana Jones.

*

Valerie groaned at the hoard gathered around her van, hoping that nothing went missing from inside and holding Currant back from storming it and driving the hoard away. It was just lucky that no larger Mamba or Pygmy were attempting to join in.

"I'll let you go find some coffee to drink but please come back to me when you start getting tired," Valerie fussed, lowering Piper to the ground. "Make sure you tell everyone goodbye too. We'll come back to visit but ask for numbers and bring them to me to save."

She fussed over Piper for a little bit longer before she let him zip off to get himself some zoom juice. The grass was soft enough that she had no shame sitting down, cheek propped on her palm. Currant and Marmalade wrapped around her to keep away the worst of the shenanigans.

"At least everyone is having fun..."

*

Piper nodded and gave Val a little kiss on her hand before going off. Keith was kind/smart enough to give the kid some Mountain Dew: much better tasting, but with actual caffeine, even if not as much as coffee.

Once it hit his system, Piper started to ZOOM, alternating between playing and excitedly talking about his adoption, hugging all his little playmates, and bringing some over to meet Val, Marmalade, and Currant.

He was explaining to some of the mamba - who had given up tilting Val’s car and were now grumbling about it being full of bricks - that he was gonna go home in that car (while chasing a beach ball in circles) when a particularly young bitty mamba shot out and glomped him.

“NO! No you don’t! Mine!” The mamba screeched.

“But I leaving!”

“No! You stay here! I protect.” Cobalt the mamba pouted, holding Piper to his chest and wrapping around him protectively.

“Isssss ‘kay Cobalt! Val’s nice! And Curry loves! They not hurt me.”

“No no no no no! No! You stay! No leave! Is mine!”

“You gonna get a person too!”

“I wan’ YOU!” Cobalt had worked himself into tears, not wanting to let go of Piper…

Piper wasn’t sure how to handle it, “Sssshhh! Shhhh! No cry! No cry! Is ‘kay! You’re real good! They just jealous! ‘Cause pretty scales!” He was just mimicking some of what Cobalt had said to make him feel better.

“I pretty?” Cobalt said, sniffling. “I miss you…” He thought for a little bit, then went over to Val and slithered on her with Piper in tow, “We go now!”

*

Even though there were a lot of Lamia zipping and zooming, Valerie tried to keep her attention on Piper instead. He was a ball of energy, making her tired just watching but filling her chest with joy right along with that. She was introduced to so many Lamia that she had no hope of remembering all the names being tossed at her.

She didn't see what was going on but she heard the screeching, the absolute dismay in someone's little scream. Her soul throbbed with pain and she hoped someone would come along to offer assistance because there was no way Valerie would be able to crush someone's feelings. Marmalade tensed beside her, feeling the feedback of pain within his chest.

It was made even worse when the owner of the screech slithered onto her and she was torn by how small the Mamba was. He was the smallest bitty Lamia she had ever seen and there was the hint of tears upon his face that tore her up inside. The little guy had nothing on Sangria's iridescence, few did, but he was such a pretty color.

Valerie looked around, hoping for someone to offer assistance before she gave in and took him home too. Petting his little head as soon as he seemed to have settled.

"Oh, little dragon," she cooed at the Mamba. "What has you so upset?"

Maybe if she stalled...

*

"You can't have Piper! Is mine! He no go! I keep!" Cobalt hissed. He knew better than to bite, even in the midst of a tantrum, but he was tempted. But then Piper would probably cry...

"But I want go!" Piper said.

"No!" Cobalt said. He clung stubbornly to Piper. "I protect forever! Can't go..."

"You protect good! But I go now."

"Noooooo!" Cobalt sobbed.

Hux couldn't watch any more of this, slithering back inside. It'd been mostly fun watching the others cause chaos, but he knew all too well how Cobalt felt...

Thankfully, the freed Oozy came to the rescue... "Heya kid... why the long face?"

"Piper's LEAVING! But he can't!"

"Sure he can. Yer old enough now. Both of ya."

"But-But..." Cobalt sniffled, nuzzling Piper.

"It ain't like you'll never see him again," Oozy said. "I've had friends get adopted, but they still come back all the time. And I know Val's gonna keep in great touch. He can still call you."

"Not same..." Cobalt said, half holding and half leaning on Piper. "He's friend..."

"I know kiddo... I know. But hey, you'll get someone too one day, y'know?"

"You haven't," Cobalt said with a huff.

"I'm a high-maintenance Corny, you're an awesome little mamba. We're two different things entirely. You'll be loved."

"... I want Piper with me," Cobalt said. "You stay?"

Piper kissed Cobalt's cheek, "Love too! But I go. I come back! And bring toys!"

"Promise?"

"Mm-hmm!"

"And talk! Phone talk!"

"Yeah!"

Cobalt sniffled, holding Piper close. "... 'kay." He then looked at Val, little stare withering. "Take care! Be extra nice and give treats! Tell him he look good! If you be mean, I bite you!"

"She nice!" Piper insisted.

"Better be..."

Meanwhile, in the background, Nikolai let out a loud shout of, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS DECAF?!"

*

She knew there was something wrong with her when she found the tantrum to be more adorable than anything. In typical Mamba fashion, his tantrum came down to someone taking what he viewed as his and a lot of yelling. Nikolai must have told them that biting was a very bad thing to do because he didn't try and take a chunk out of her in the midst of his ranting.

Oozy was a gift. Calming down the tantrum and saving her from giving in to the cuteness of the little Mamba's attitude. If he had been full-size she would have been more intimidated than she was but he was adorable before he was frightening.

"If I didn't have Sangria at home I'd take you too." Valerie couldn't hold the words back if she wanted to. "But I know a little dragon-like you will get a good home. Who wouldn't want such a pretty Mamba?"

Hopefully, the compliments helped because she would rather not get bitten.

"don' worry kid," Currant said, calling attention to his own warning stare. "val 'll take good care of piper. he'll have his own rock to bask on, his favorite candy, an' so many toys he'll be able to share with ya that all the other mamba 'll be jealous."

"not ta mention she might let piper bring ya sour candy jus' for you next time," Marmalade added. He heard Nikolai's shout and had a devious idea. "an' we can bring more coffee next time."

*

Cobalt sniffled again, but wiped his face and smiled up at her, "Yeah... 'M pretty cool! I gonna get good! Mm-hmm!" He giggled and nuzzled Piper. "You get good too. Deserve it. Miss you..."

"Miss you too. But is 'kay! I see again."

"Yes! And bring sour candies! And coffee!"

"Okay! We do!"

"Good!" Cobalt said. That said, he was still reluctant to go just yet... "We go play now."

"Okay!"

And they did! The two zoomed around the park together until Piper once more started losing the fight with sleep. Cobalt had to half-drag him back, and even then almost started crying again, but they said one see-you-later, and Piper curled up to sleep on the ride home...

And that Corny, who ate more sweets and has now conked out in the glove box, is apparently coming too.

*

Disaster averted, Val flopped back against Marmalade and Currant while Piper ran through his caffeine buzz with his friend. It was much better to see a happy Mamba than to see one that was likely contemplating biting. It likely wasn't long enough for the Mamba to come to terms with having to say goodbye but he did. Currant accepted Piper and they all wished everyone a good evening, saying their own see-you-laters.

"Everyone will sleep good tonight," Val mused, helping Currant into the front seat of the van so they could settle into the blankets. She searched around to make sure there weren't any stowaways and Marmalade assured her they'd all left. "We got a long drive ahead of us, I'll stop and get more snacks for the road."

She climbed into the drivers seat, feeling warm and good about how the day had gone. It was one of those perfect days where she made plenty of friends. Once at home she would put numbers into the phones and have Piper call so everyone would know he'd gotten there safe.

Marmalade picked a song for the start of the ride, Val singing along, and they began their journey home. Unaware of the hidden Corny in the glove box.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Want to join the fam? 13th Doctor x child reader

*Author’s note*

Hey gang well here we are again with yet another Doctor who request. To the anon who requested this I THANK YOU FOR YOUR INCREDIBLE PATIENCE. Now I made some slight changes to the reader’s characteristics so I hope that’s okay. Now again most of these updates that I’ll be doing will mostly be Doctor who based (from the endless amounts of DW requests I’ve had on my phone since last year, again anons I thank you for your patience and I am getting through them) but some Marvel ones will come out as well. So just sit back and enjoy these requests ;)

Warnings: Child neglect, malnourishment, human captivity, some angst and fluff.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@platawnic​

___________________________________________________________

I’ve been in this prison for—what feels like forever.  In fact I think it has been forever.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the possession of a man known as The Collector due to me being the last of the Timelords.  At first I didn’t know myself what I was, all I knew was that every now and then right at the point of death from malnourishment, my body grew warm and my appearance would change.

When the Collector first saw my change firsthand, he moved me from one cell to another where I had nothing but needles shoved into my arms and every now and then he not only took my blood but there was also this glowing gold light that would also go up into a canister and once it got full after a month of draining, he’d take it away and replace it with a new one.

On and on this went on and I began to think that this was to be my life for the rest of my days. I couldn’t die because all I would do was regenerate into a different person.  I was beginning to think that I would never get out of this horrible place, that the Collector would continue to misuse and neglect me.

That was until…….she came into my life.

I was trying to sleep in my 4x4 cell (it is not comfortable let me just tell you that) when I heard a knock at the solid glass of my prison.  There I saw the Collector standing there, his eyes full of obsession as usual.  His mouth gaped in awe as he said.

“Today is the day my little one.” Oh yeah that’s right.  I’m dying today.  The Collector has even gone far as to make a schedule for when I’m to be expecting to regenerate.  My current 12 year old body had been put through countless hours of testing, blood draining, neglect, and aura extraction.  And now the time has come for me to regenerate once again.

“I can’t believe it’s been your 9th change and you’ve given me more money and immortality than I could ever hope for.” Oh yeah I forgot to mention this one little detail.

Sometimes when the Collector is in his greatest moods, when the Tourist season arrives, hell have his greatest displays out for the public for all the gawk, point and take pictures of.  I was displayed when I was in the process of my 3rd change so everyone got to see me transform from a small 4 year old white child, to an 11yr. old brown skinned girl.

Now that it was time for me to regenerate once more and it was the day tourists from around the galaxy, and across space and time for them to come see his fantastic collection of mistreated, abandoned and unwanted things.

“Now then remember to make this your grandest metamorphosis yet. And also try not to burn any of the clients. Always bad for business if someone gets hurt.” I didn’t respond to him.  I never respond to him, no matter what torture he does whenever he tries to make me answer, I don’t give him the satisfaction of being broken before him.

He can continue to drain me dry but he’ll never break me.

*3rd Person POV*

Meanwhile just in the outskirts of the Collector’s shop, the familiar wheeze of the TARDIS soon echoed out.  The TARDIS went from a faint image to a full solid picture.

“And here we are gang. As promised, welcome to the Bermuda Tri—” soon stepping out of the TARDIS was the Doctor herself, and her little fam, Yaz, Ryan and Graham.

“Uhh Doc, this isn’t what I pictured the Bermuda Triangle to look like.” Graham said.

“What? Ahhh no you stubborn ol girl you do this again!? Every. Time I want to go somewhere I tell you to go, you do a 180!” She snapped as she slapped the side of the TARDIS.

“So……where exactly are we?” asked Ryan as he stepped out along with Yaz.

“It kinda looks like a combination of London and Los Angeles.” Yaz said.

“Honestly I’m not quite so sure myself of where we are. Stay close everybody. Never know what could be lurking around here.” The Doctor said to them.

“Should we—have a look around?” asked Graham skeptically.

“I mean it’s the only way, right Doctor?” Ryan said to the Doctor.

“Well normally I would say no when I don’t know of a certain location but the TARDIS always has a habit of sending me where I’m needed. Alright listen up gang,” she turned to her three human companions and explained to them in a firm tone. “We’re gonna have a little look around. But again I have no idea who or what lives here. So there is to be no going off on your own, no touching anything, don’t even speak to anyone. You are to stay where I can keep an eye on you. Is that understood?”

“Yes Doctor.” The three of them answered.  The Doctor nodded and soon the three of them walked on ahead.

They walk up a hill till they finally arrive at the borders of the city.  All around so many different species of creatures and people across space and time were gathered around just going about their day.

“It—looks like an ordinary in London. People going about their day, nothing really out of the ordinary.” Graham said.

“I wouldn’t go that far yet Graham. Let’s go, blend in well with the crowd. There’s—something doesn’t feel right for some reason.” The Doctor said.  As they walked they soon heard a few voices say.

“Have you heard about the Collector’s new showcase?” a young woman with albino skin and purple eyes said.

“I go there every year. I’m told he’s got her on display once again.” Said a mechanical green woman.

“Wait you don’t mean…..”

“Yes. It could be another transformation.”

“Then let’s go.” The two women raced on.  Yaz leaned towards the Doctor and whispered.

“Did you catch any of that?”

“I don’t know who exactly they’re talking about, but that’s our best clue as to why the TARDIS might’ve brought us here. Cause out here in the streets there’s clearly no danger. No fights, no war, not even an invasion.”

“Couldn’t hurt to take a look inside and follow those girls.” Ryan said.  So they secretly followed the two women.

Soon the two women turned into a crowd as hundreds upon hundreds of people walked right towards a tower-like building.  As our gang of time travelers went inside, they found that this tower was almost like a warehouse.  It’s darkened hallways lit only by the hollowed lanterns above.  As they continued walking, they noticed that it soon began to remind them of some kind of art show.

“Hang on, I know that thing.” The Doctor said as she suddenly stopped.

“Know what?” asked Graham.

“Over there.” She pointed to a very large cube like cell with an intricate design on each side. It was a circle with what looked like a maze-like pattern decorated along the inside of it.

“What is it?” asked Ryan.

“My old prison in a past life.” The Doctor answered grimly.  Yaz and Ryan walked up to it and they saw on the plaque the words.

PANDORICA BOX.

Ryan and Yaz looked at each other and Ryan shrugged.

“And that, I recognize that weapon over there.” She and Graham walked to it and Graham asked her.

“Is—is that what I think it is Doc?”

“Yes Graham. A cyberman head.”

“So…..what is this like some sort of art gallery of everything you know?”

“Possibly. But none of this is Timelord technology. However this place does seem to have almost everything I’ve encountered in my many lives.”

‘Ladies and gentlemen. Creatures and species far and in between. Please make your way to the back room for a show like no other. For the first time in decades, the changeling child has returned.’ The voice of a women came on the intercoms from above.

“The changeling child?” Ryan repeated confused.

“So changelings actually exist?” asked Yaz.

“After all we’ve seen, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Graham shrugged.

“I’m not so sure about that guys. C’mon. Stay close and keep to the back.” Soon everyone started heading towards the back room where a giant arena-like stadium stood. At the very center, the Doctor and her friends saw a young girl laying there at the center of the stadium in a clear box like cage.

“Oh my god.” Yaz gasped as she covered her mouth in horror.

“That poor girl is she—she’s completely malnourished. She’s practically skin and bones.” Graham said.

“Doctor. Who would do something like this?” Ryan sneered softly.  The Doctor looked closer and that’s when she saw the glowing hands on the young girl.  That familiar orange, yellowish glow.

“Oh my……”

“What is it Doc?” Graham asked.  But before she could say a word, an elderly man with spiked white hair and wearing a leather attire with a fur coat with multiple colorations came right to the cage and he said to the audience.

“Greetings my dearly beloved guests. As you have ventured into the far outreaches of space and time to see all of my beloved collections. I am proud to announce and reveal to you all for the first time in a very long time, my most prized possession. The changeling child.”

“Calling a child their possession. Boy I’d like to give that crazy git a punch across the face.” Graham hissed lowly.

“Easy Graham. Just watch.”

“Watch what exactly? Doctor what’s going on?”

“Just want to prepare you guys for what you’ll see one day with me.” Soon the young girl began to glow brighter and brighter till her whole face and hands were starting to glow like the sun.

Then with a burst of Timelord energy, a powerful fiery blast exploded from her and the crowd was just in awe of what they were witnessing.  The Doctor shook her head and muttered.

“She can’t be contained when a regeneration happens. It can cause significant damage to the next body.”

“What’s happening Doctor? Is she going to explode?” asked Ryan worriedly.

“No Ryan, just keep watching.” A cry was soon heard and the next thing everyone saw was that the young 12 year old white girl now transformed herself into a young 7 year old brown skinned child.  Her once blonde hair was now pure black and cut into pixie style haircut.

“Wait did she just—” Yaz started off.

“Fam. I’d like to introduce you all to a Timelord child.” The Doctor said in a stoic manner.

“Wait but—I thought you and the Master were the last of your people?” Ryan said.

“So did I. But that there was a regeneration. Known only to the Timelords themselves. No other creature or species in the Universe can do a transformation like that.”

“And it seems that freak’s using her as a main attraction for his Collection around the world.” Graham hissed angrily.

“Well what do we do? I mean we can’t just leave her here. Maybe this is what the TARDIS wants us to do.” Yaz said.

“But how can we rescue her? I mean we don’t even know the layout of this place.” Ryan said.

“Leave that to me. For now I want you guys to play out the roles of interested travelers. If any security goes snooping around, just play them off in any way you can. Trust me gang, right now that little girl down there could use someone whose been through this. And believe me I’ve been through it many, many, many times.”

“Alright Doc. But just know should you need us, we’re just a shout away.” Graham said.  She nodded to them and as the crowd began to leave the stadium, Ryan, Yaz and Graham joined the crowd while the Doctor stayed behind in the shadows and watched as some of the Collector’s helpers moved the child out of her display case and moved her back down to her proper cell.

*My POV*

After being put back in my cell I finally got the chance to look at my new form.  My once white skin was now brown and my hands were smaller. I must’ve de-aged again.  I felt around my face and it was now more rounder than it was previously.  My hair was also shorter, way shorter actually.  So short that I couldn’t even see what color it was.  But I had fingers, lots of fingers, 2 legs, two feet, eyes, nose, mouth, ears.  New body, new rules.

“Magnificent. This is almost like your 4th form but—lighter skin. And your hair, don’t really like it that short but it is what it is.” The Collector said as he pressed his hands up against my glass cage. “After I count the profits for today, we’ll proceed with the Timelord aura drain.” With a flick of his animal skin cape, he turned and left the room.

I lowered my head exhaustedly and let out a deep breath and soon saw the familiar glowing fog coming out of my mouth.  Then out of nowhere, my cage began to unlock itself but the Collector was nowhere in sight. As the glass walls lowered back down, I sat up in shock and looked around fearfully only to see a woman with short blonde hair wearing a greyish-blue trench coat.

She also wore a dark blue shirt with multiple colored stripes around the front, the color yellow was the main color that really struck out cause it was just piled up on both top and bottom of the other colors.  She also wore what looked like suspenders and brown boots.

But what really caught my attention were her eyes.  Her deep brown eyes.  Unlike the Collector whose eyes were always filled with crazed obsession, this woman’s eyes were filled with kindness, curiosity, and—astonishment.

“It’s alright. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“How can I—trust you?” wow new voice.  It was lighter—almost like the sound of a bell.

“I know this must seem strange to you. Having a stranger open up your prison but tell me this. If I wanted to hurt you, don’t you think I would’ve done it by now?” she asked me. I pondered the thought and realized she was right.

The Collector’s workers who would transfer me from my cell to my display case, they always took a shot using their electro-whips on me just for the sport of it.

“Who are you?” I asked her.

“Well believe it or not. I’m just like you. A Gallifreyian Timelord.”  I looked at her shocked.

She was a Timelord as well? But—the Collector said that I was the last of my kind.  When he found me as a baby, he told me that I was the only sole survivor.

“You’re lying.”

“Actually I’m not. How do I know I’m not lying you might be thinking? Well I can tell you that seven months ago, I was a white haired Scotsman.”

“Prove it.” I asked her. “That you’re a Timelord. How do I know you’re not lying?” she looked around before finding a stethoscope from a nearby stand.  She grabbed it and came up to me and placed the earpieces in my ears.

“Have a listen.” She placed the metal part against her chest and soon enough I heard the 4 heartbeats of the Timelord.  I looked up at her and she looked right at me with those soft eyes of hers and she said, “Well, what’s your verdict?”

“But—it’s impossible. I thought I was……I thought I was the only one.”

“So did I.” she said solemnly.  Her eyes now appeared to have a hint of sadness to them.  “What’s your name?” she asked me.

“I—I was never given one.” I said sadly as I looked down.  I heard her hum softly and that’s when she said.

“Well we can’t just call you nothing. Hmm let me think……I’m not good with coming up with names but I’ll give it a go.” She said before she began muttering to herself as she paced around me.  I looked at her intrigued and she would look right at me before getting right up into my face.

It was a little awkward having this strange woman get right up in my face but it didn’t make me feel intimidated (not like how the Collector makes me feel whenever he gets up in my face).

“Ah-ha! I think I came up with the perfect name!” she exclaimed happily.  I tilted my head. “Lyra!” I looked at her in disgust. “What? Oh c’mon that’s a brilliant name. You’d be named after a constellation. And Lyra is a Greek name Lyre, a Greek instrument. And a marvelous one at that.”

“I’m sorry it’s just that with……this current form I don’t know if Lyra is a good name for me.”

“Yeah I suppose so. Most beings usually pick a name that fits their look. Well like I told you I’m not really good at coming up with names. I don’t think I ever was.”

“I…..” I started off before trailing off.

“What? What is it?”

“It’s nothing I….I can’t say it.”

“Course you can. Hey you listen to me now love, you can say whatever you want. I’m not like that—monster whose treated you like his possession. So if you’ve got something to say, you can tell me.”

“I—I once did come up with a name during my 3rd transformation. But I don’t know if it’s any good.” She looked at me with encouragement telling me through her eyes that I could freely speak it out. “(Y/n).”

“(Y/n). Hmm……I like it. Yeah it suits you. Alright, (Y/n) I’m the Doctor and I’m busting you out of here.”

“Busting me out?”

“Yeah. You know setting you free, freeing you from your cage, all those other freedom metaphors and sayings. Bottom line is, is that you’re coming with me and my friends.”

“But—the Collector. He’ll know that I’ve escaped. He won’t let me leave.”

“That’s why I’ve got a plan. Now c’mon let’s at least get you out of this storage room and into some real light.” She extended her hand to me and I looked at it conflicted. “I promise (Y/n), as long as you’re with me. I won’t let him or anyone else harm you. I can help you, but you have to trust me first.”

I looked up at her warm brown eyes once more and they gave me a fluttery feeling in my stomach.  Was—was this what it feels like when someone’s kind to you? Finally I lifted my hand and I placed my hand in hers.

“Brilliant. Now can you stand and walk? I know that regeneration still takes time to cook but we kinda are on the clock.”

“I think so.”

“Okay, let’s get you off this thing and then we run.” She picked me up and set me down on the floor before taking my hand again and we took off.

We came to the main door which the Collector always kept lock and only he or his workers knew the combination.

“It’s no use, we’ll never get out of this room. He has it locked 24/7.”

“Good thing I’ve always got this.” She then pulled out a long silver or iron like thing with a crystal point at the end.  She pressed a button and aimed it right at the door’s control panels and a loud hum came out of it as the crystal point became a bright yellow color.

Soon enough I heard the locks being unlocked and the doors opened up.

“There that’s better.” She tossed her magic stick in the air before catching it back into her hand and putting it away into her coat. “Now come on, we’ll rendezvous with the others in the main lobby.” As we left the room I asked her.

“What was that thing?”

“What was what?”

“That thing you used to open the door?”

“Oh right! That was my sonic screwdriver. A handy device of my own invention. It can basically be used for anything. Bio readings, translation analysis, but most of all it can unlock any door. The one thing it isn’t used for is for killing. Because killing is senseless and fighting never solves anything. I hate weapons of any kind especially guns.” Her voice started to trail off into anger which made me a little scared seeing this bubbly, whacky woman now become an ice cold queen. “Sorry. I—tend to get a little dark whenever it comes to hate for violence. Now c’mon let’s keep moving.”

After going up several more levels and her using her sonic screwdriver to get the doors unlocked, we finally arrived at the main level.

“Alright, now my friends are in the lobby like I’ve said. So it’s just a straight forwards to—hang on.” She suddenly said urgently.  She stopped and looked around. “Something isn’t right. There were hundreds of people here just now and now it’s—it’s completely empty.”

“The shop isn’t closed cause it’s still light out. So—where is everyone?” suddenly the alarm sounded off and every entrance, window and door, were sealed off.  The red light of the alarm was the only source of light we had for awhile before it went completely dark.

“You thought I’d let you escape that easily?” then a bright light shined down just a few feet in front of us and there stood The Collector.  Behind him were three people, two men and one a girl around the Doctor’s age.

All three of them were not only being held by the Collector’s guards but from their feet to their hips were trapped in the crystal prison that I was familiar with. In some of his collections, the Collector loves to showcase his ‘prizes’ in crystal form with specially designed rings that encases whatever he wants in a crystal prison.

Trapping them alive.

“We’re sorry Doc. They caught us just before we could meet up.” Said the elderly white man.

“Let them go.” the Doctor stated firmly.

“Or what? See I’ve got basically almost everything across Time and Space but pure humans—well imagine the attractions they’ll bring us.”

“We’re not your property you crazy old bastard!” the young black man spoke up.  Which resulted in him being shocked by the Collector’s guards and the crystal formation went higher up his body from his hips now to his ribs.  He groaned in agony after his shock treatment and the Collector said to him in that low voice of his.

“On the contrary. All those that trespass on my home are my property. No payment in, you serve as a part of my Collection.” He turned back towards us and he continued, “Who would’ve thought that I would get the chance to not have one Timelord, but two. Such a rarity indeed.”

“Yeah bet you didn’t think this was going to happen when you woke up this morning.” The Doctor said sarcastically.  The Collector chuckled softly and that’s when I noticed the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver in her back pocket.  I looked around to make sure that no one was looking at me and I quickly took her sonic and stalked away towards one of the cells.

This was the only option I could think of that could give us enough time to get all of us out of here.  And finally put an end to the Collector once and for all so that no one else could be captured and experimented on again.  I arrived at cell 722 and pointed the screwdriver at the keypad which soon activated.

“This is madness. But you’re our only hope.” I walked inside and went right to work.

*3rd Person POV*

The Collector stared at the Doctor with obsessed eyes and he said to her.

“Who would’ve thought that there were two Timelords left in the entire galaxy. If only you were a male, then once my female one would take a mature form, I could’ve had you both make more Gallifreyian children.”

“Believe it or not I was a man. Actually many times before I’ve been a man.” The Doctor said.

“Interesting. So you can choose which gender you want to be.”

“I don’t really have control over my regenerations. They just happen and I stick with the form I get.”

“Pity. But no matter, you will soon join the child and you both will become my ultimate supply source and tourist attraction. While your friends become one of the many other displays I will showcase in my museum.”

“That won’t happen.”

“You’re so confident about that?”

“Yeah. See, I’ve been in rougher scrapes than this. Now this here, sure it’s a bit of a pickle but it’s way low on the amount of danger I’ve been in on a regular basis.” The Collector stroked his chin as he continued to stare at the Doctor with interest.

“So you’ve been everywhere and seen everything?”

“More than you can imagine pal. Now unless you’d like to be overloaded with the knowledge I’ve got, which trust me you don’t want to know, I suggest you free my friends, let me take the girl, and allow us to walk out of here quietly without another word.” The Collector chuckled icily and lowly and he said.

“And allow you to take my immortality away from me? Do you have any idea how powerful the essences of your kind is?”

“And that’s what makes people like you sick to my stomach. What you’ve been doing to that poor girl is inhumane! No one should ever be put through the hell you put her through! Extracting her Gallifreyian aura, draining her blood. Yeah I’ve seen the needle injections on her arms.”

“What you see as inhumane. I see as an opportunity. The essence of a timelord can give the bearer an immortal life. Even at the point of death, you can just regenerate yourself and start off fresh again. And now that I have too, I’ll forever be immortalized as the famed Collector of the last two Timelords!”

Suddenly the alarm began blaring out loudly.  Everyone looked around in confusion, the Collector had both confusion and anger.

“What is going on?” it was then they heard screaming from down the hall as some more of the Collector’s worker’s were fleeing for their lives.

“Sir! Sir! Prisoner 722 has been reactivated! It’s going on a rampage!” one of the workers said before it was suddenly shot at and he fell to the ground dead.

“No.” The Doctor softly enunciated. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Why did you have it here!? What makes you think you could contain such a monster!?” she sneered.

“Doctor what’s going on? What are you talking about?” then they heard it.  That haunting raspy, mechanical voice proclaiming.

‘WE ARE THE DALEKS! WE WILL REIGN SUPREME AND YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!’ Soon coming down the hallway was the Doctor’s most feared and hatred rival, a Dalek.

It was an older generation Dalek but it still had it’s program to search and destroy everything that isn’t Dalek based.

‘SURRENDER NOW OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!’ the Dalek proceeded to fire all over any everyone and everything.  While the Dalek was literally destroying everything in sight and bodies kept dropping like flies, over by Graham, Ryan and Yaz, they suddenly felt themselves getting free of their crystal prisons.

They looked down and there stood (Y/n) holding their three rings.  She slammed them on the ground and stepped on them.

“C’mon let’s go!” she whispered as the four of them raced over to the Doctor.  They dodged and nearly got blasted by the explosions of the Dalek’s gun.  Once they came up to the Doctor she turned to (Y/n) and said.

“Were you responsible for this?”

“I didn’t have a choice. This was the one thing they never went to. All of them were too afraid to go near it when it reactivated itself years ago.”

‘IDENDITY DETECTED. THE DOCTOR IS HERE!! THE DOCTOR IS THE ENEMY OF THE DALEKS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!’ The Dalek suddenly screamed out.

“RUN!!!” The Doctor cried out as we ran out of the lobby and towards the side exit (that had no just been created thanks to our Dalek).  

*My POV*

We quickly raced out but I was suddenly grabbed and I was pinned against the Collector’s chest.

“You’re not going anywhere! If I die then you’re coming with me!” I squirmed and tried to free myself from the Collector’s grip when suddenly he was shot in the head and he dropped down to the ground.  The Dalek rolled up to me and it’s scope-like eye stared right at me.

‘TIMELORD ENERGY DETECTED! TIMELORD ENERGY DETECTED! EXTERMINATE!’ I quickly jumped out of the way and just barely managed to escape the death beam.

“(Y/N)!! RUN!! GET AWAY FROM IT!!!” As quick as I could I raced out of the building.

It wasn’t easy to escape the Dalek cause it kept coming right after us firing shot after shot, explosions coming up around us.  Finally we came up into a blue box that said POLICE BOX written on top.

“In here quick! The forcefield’s up now, but it won’t last for long!” the Doctor cried out.  One by one we each piled into the TARDIS before she shut the doors.  As we all ran inside my first reaction was that it was bigger on the inside.  Could this be more of my people’s technology or is this some kind of magic?

The Doctor quickly flipped a few of the controls and soon a wheezing sound came from the center of this room and a large light shined from the center console that stood in the middle of the controls.

“There. Daleks alone can’t navigate through space and time without a ship. We’re safe. Are you all alright fam?”

“I’m good.” Said the woman.

“I’m thankful that I won’t end up as a display case.” Said the elderly man.

“He’ll survive. And I’m okay too Doctor.” The young man said.  The Doctor sighed with relief and pressed her hand up against her chest over her two hearts.  She then turned to me and asked me as she knelt down in front of me.

“Are you alright (Y/n)?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that—thing. It was the only thing I could think of as a distraction that I knew they would be too afraid to fight back against.” I looked down sadly but she lifted my chin up and she said as she stroked the back of my head, burying her fingers into my short hair.

“The most important thing is that you’re okay. And that you’re free now.”

Free.  I—I couldn’t believe it. For the first time in my life, I was finally free of the Collector, I would no longer be his lab rat or neglected ever again.  He was dead and he couldn’t hurt me or anyone else again.

“But I must ask you one important question first?” she said in a serious manner.  I tilted my head to the side in confusion and said.

“What?”

“How do you feel about going to Barcelona with me and the fam?” I looked around and these three people who had no idea who I was, all nodded with warm smiles on their faces. I turned to the Doctor and immediately hugged her.

There was soft laughter all around as she hugged me back.  I nuzzled into her shoulder and I whispered to her.

“Thank you, thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. Now then, let me introduce you to the gang.” The Doctor then took me over to the three people and introduced me to Ryan, Yaz, and Graham. And she introduced them to me as the second to last Timelord from Gallifrey.

From then on, I stayed with the Doctor and her friends.  We traveled throughout the entire galaxy and back and forth through time. Eventually there came a time when I went from calling her Doctor to mum.  She was my savior, my protector, my mother.  And I will always be grateful to the day when she and her friends came to save me.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Strange the Dreamer. By Laini Taylor. New York: Little, Brown Books, 2017.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: YA fantasy

Part of a Series? Yes, Strange the Dreamer #1

Summary: The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around— and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he’s been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance or lose his dream forever. What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving? The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries—including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo’s dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? And if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: blood, violence, drug use, rape, sexual slavery, abduction and imprisonment

Overview: I really enjoyed Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, so I decided to give her new work a go. Overall, I also really enjoyed Strange the Dreamer because it had a lot of things that are characteristic of Taylor’s writing that I love - lush, lyrical prose; tragic, star-crossed love; a political conflict involving otherworldly creatures. The reason why I’m giving this book 4 instead of 5 stars mainly has to do with the pacing and the way events played out. There wasn’t anything wrong, I think, with the way Taylor handled her story - it’s just that I felt like things started to rush to a close too quickly, and I would have liked to spend more time in the book exploring character emotions.

Writing: Taylor’s prose tends to fall into two categories: lyrical and descriptive or straight-forward and economical. Part 1 of this book is more lyrical; the metaphors are more fantastical and the prose evokes a sense of longing and fascination. Taylor really captures the feeling of being immersed in a library, surrounded by stories, as well as what it’s like to have a dream (not a dream in your sleep - more like a goal or a wish that has a small or nonexistence likelihood of coming true). Part 1 was probably my favorite part of the book for this reason, as subsequent sections tended to lose that lyrical quality and fall into a style more typical of YA books.

Taylor’s pace is also fairly well-done in that I didn’t feel like I was being rushed or that I was plodding through the book. The only thing I would change in terms of pacing is the book’s ending; I felt a lot of things were dropped on the reader all at once, and though they were foreshadowed earlier in the book (which I very much appreciated), I tend not to like endings where too much happens.

Before I close this section, a couple of notes on descriptions and worldbuilding: though I know teenagers have sexual urges, I was a little put off by the descriptions of teenagers’ bodies in certain places. I can remember a few instances where Taylor describes the look of one character’s breasts, and though it wasn’t gratuitous, I didn’t like that these descriptions were included. I also thought the worldbuilding detail of “women get tattoos on their bellies as a rite of passage/coming of age marker when they become fertile and Sarai longs for one of her own” was a little uncomfortable. It made me feel like the world Taylor built was concerned with showcasing female reproductive capacity, and that just seems exclusionary. While it could have worked if the story was more about pushing back against reproductive regulation or exploring what such tattoos would mean for trans characters, as the book stands, that doesn’t really happen, so it was a weird detail that I felt distracted from the main themes.

Plot: This book primarily follows Lazlo Strange - an orphan who dreams of finding the lost city of Weep - and Sarai - the daughter of a dead god and a human who must hide her existence in order to stay alive. Lazlo is surprised one day when some inhabitants of Weep - led by someone called “the Godslayer” - show up in his library, asking for assistance from the land’s greatest scientists. Though Lazlo isn’t a scientist, he is the most knowledgeable person about Weep and its culture, so the Godslayer elects to take him along. Meanwhile, Sarai and several other demigods live in a secluded Sanctuary, hiding from the inhabitants of Weep so that they won’t be slain on account of their parentage.

Without spoiling anything (which is kind of hard, since there is a lot that happens), I will say that I really liked the central conflict of this book. Taylor does a good job of setting up a problem with no black-and-white solutions; it seems like everyone had a legitimate reason for acting the way they do, and no matter what happens, someone will be hurt.

But perhaps the thing I appreciated most about the plot was that Taylor never sets up a surprise twist that comes out of nowhere. I feel like I’ve read a lot of YA books that drop a bomb on the reader with no set up, and I personally feel like such twists make the story feel less cohesive. Taylor sets up all her reveals and twists by dropping hints early and frequently, and rather than make the story feel dull, I felt like they made the end emotionally fulfilling.

If I had one criticism of the plot it would be that the romance doesn’t feel genuine. Lazlo and Sarai seem to fall in love with each other too quickly, which made it seem like they got together because they just hadn’t had opportunities to meet other people. I didn’t see what they saw in each other aside from looks and special qualities like “oh, he’s able to share my dreams” or “she was kind to me when so many other people weren’t.” I wanted more out the romance, like Sarai falling for Lazlo’s kindness and Lazlo falling for Sarai’s compassion towards those who would harm her. Maybe there was some of that, but it was definitely overshadowed by lengthy descriptions of kissing, which I wasn’t much a fan of. I also wasn’t really a fan of the “dates” that they went on; some parts were cute, but overall, they dragged.

Characters: Lazlo, one of our protagonists, is likeable in that he’s pretty much the embodiment of a lot of book nerds. He starts off shy, completely absorbed with fairy tales and folklore, and loves to roam the abandoned stacks in his library. What I liked most about him, though, was his willingness to help people even if they treat him poorly. For example, there’s a character named Theryn Nero who is basically a Science Bro. He’s rich, beloved by everyone, and gets famous for cracking the secret of alchemy. While he puts himself up as the lone genius, he was actually aided by Lazlo and takes sole credit for a lot of things that Lazlo proved to be key in discovering. Lazlo, though annoyed, never lets his feelings get in the way of helping Nero when the greater good is at stake, and I really admired that.

If I had any criticisms of Lazlo, it would be that I wish his “dreamer” status or knowledge base was put to better use. After Lazlo gets to Weep, he isn’t quite as interesting as he was before, probably because he no longer needs to use his vast knowledge of stories to make his way through the world.

Sarai, our other protagonist, is fairly sympathetic in that all her problems feel undeserved. She is forced to stay locked away in a hidden Sanctuary in order to protect herself and her little found family (composed of other demigods), and though it’s for the best, it also feels stifling. I really liked that Sarai was not single-mindedly fixated on revenge for the things that happened in her past. Without spoiling anything, I will say that something happened which put the demigods and inhabitants of Weep in conflict with one another, and there is no easy solution that would guarantee that the demigods stay alive. Sarai has a lot of dreams like Lazlo - of finding family, of living a normal life, of living among the humans - but it’s not really viable for her, and instead of letting hate consume her, she tries to think up other ways of existing.

Sarai’s “family” is also charming. The group consists of 5 demigods who are the last remaining offspring of the slain gods, and all of them feel fairly complex. They all possess some kind of magical “gift”: there’s Sarai (who can produce supernatural “moths” that allow her to enter people’s dreams), Ruby (a girl who can turn herself into flames), Feral (the only boy, and he can summon clouds), Sparrow (a girl who can manipulate plants), and Minya (a girl who can make ghosts do her bidding). I liked that these characters had different personalities that often put them in conflict. Ruby is boy-crazy and seems to be obsessed with sex. Sparrow is more passive but has sweet moments where she makes a “flower cake” for Ruby’s birthday and braids Sarai’s hair. Minya is completely consumed by her desire for revenge, and it presents some real barriers to finding a solution to the group’s problems.

The supporting characters down in Weep are also fairly compelling. The Godslayer is sympathetic in that he doesn���t revel in his heroic image or title; instead, he feels complex and seemingly warring emotions tied to guilt over what happened to Weep and his role in it almost 20 years prior to the events of this book. The Godslayer’s companions are also sympathetic and have emotions that are easy to understand, and I loved that they seemed to take to Lazlo so quickly. They welcome all outsiders with open arms, but they have a soft spot for Lazlo, which I liked because it meant that he didn’t have to face bullying or gatekeeping from people he had longed to meet his entire life.

The inhabitants of the world outside of Weep were interesting. There’s Theryn Nero, who seemed like he would be a primary antagonist but doesn’t have enough “screen time” to truly be a threat. I liked that his conflict with Lazlo was low-key - it was intense enough to be annoying, but no so intense that their rivalry consumed the whole story or put petty emotions above the greater good. The other “scientists” who follow the Godslayer back to Weep served their purpose; not all of them had rich, complex lives, but they didn’t really need to because if they did, the story would feel crowded.

Overall, there weren’t any characters I disliked, per se. While I do wish Lazlo got to develop differently, there wasn’t much wrong with his character, and I think all of the main players had interesting backstories and motivations, and I appreciated the layer of complexity they all had. I do wish there had been more queer characters though. There is one wlw couple, though they aren’t too prominent in the grand scheme of things. Of course, that could change, as there is a whole second book to go through, but I wish some of the demigods had been lgbt+ so it felt like Taylor’s world wasn’t overwhelmingly straight and cis.

TL;DR: Despite some pacing problems at the end and minor details that didn’t fit my personal tastes, Strange the Dreamer is a lush, evocative fantasy about the power of dreams. Readers who enjoy epic fantasy and stories about gods, star-crossed love, and will probably adore this book.

[jemej3m]

gaming au

headcannons because im lazy but i love this idea

- neil is the same sort of vibe as RTGame, who plays whatever the fuck he wants, screws everything up majorly every time, and loves to roast everyone and everything 

- andrew is callmecarson and his career is literally just fucking with people 

- they’re both mostly streaming on twitch: Neil has no face-cam, whilst andrew does and its just him being completely deadpan and apathetic 

- “person101 has subbed for 3 months!” andrew: looks deadpan into the camera, says “you’re wasting your money”

- kevin and riko used to be fOrtNitE bOiiiis WHERE WE DROPPIN but then kevin didn’t want to play fortnite anymore and riko kicked him out, so he moved in with andrew cuz andrew hates fortnite 

*this was getting too long yikes*

- nicky’s a sims player bless his soul, he loves sims 3 and wont let it go even though it breaks his computer

- dan and matt absolutely obliterate 1st-person shooter games together 

- renee loves story games: life’s strange, detroit: become human, etc 

- allison’s a survival games bitch, loves don’t starve together, hardcore minecraft, but also plays shitty barbie fashion games and nitpicks at the programming 

- i imagine seth as like an angry 12 year old on twitch, that everyone just laughs at for getting aggressive too easy

- aaron plays whatever, mostly riding the mediocre cash inflow for med school and gets popular because of his criticism of surgeon games, but he loves VR (andrew does too) and sometimes he streams instead of andrew until someone notices

- gamers always coordinate into little groups: this bunch have a discord chat together and often collaborate, except andrew, cuz he’s a *lone wolf* (get over urself andrew) 

so how do andrew and neil meet, u wonder? how does neil get initiated into this discord group? where does the nickname foxes come from? where’s wymack in all this? 

- so basically i imagine wymack as a game developer and he’s found this group of gamers who are actually funny and are slowly getting popular, so he reaches out and asks them if they want to try this game out, he’s just getting started with it, what are their opinions?  

- it obviously can’t be everything each of them every dreamed of, but Mission F0X is actually a lit fuckin game with aspects that everyone can enjoy:

- nicky loves making new characters 

- dan and matt fucking ace the shoot outs 

- renee loves the choose-your-destiny aspect, and how you can see the percentage of people who went different routes 

- allison just loves the adorable fox companion 

- seth is pumped for when it’s getting released so he can blow other people up 

- aaron doesn’t care but him and kevin end up finishing all the minigames in two weeks so wymack has to make more because kevin’s getting pissy 

- andrew zones out as soon as anyone mentions fox because he couldn’t care less 

- until 

- this “””””neil josten””””””” streamer plays Mission F0X upon its beta release, and tears into the game. like, brutally. he actually praises it too, but everyone’s distracted by his character, who he’s designed to have eyebrows on his chin and backwards ears and eyes on his forehead because wymack allowed that for some reason, and then he’s able to yeet the fox companion over a cliff but it bounces back, and all this ridiculous, crazy shit

- the foxes (as theyve dubbed themselves) think he’s high-key hilarious. they’re planning to reach out to him, but andrew doesn’t trust a streamer who doesn’t have a face cam, it’s fuckin 2019 bro, wtf

- so he goes onto Neil’s minecraft server, because he has this series, where he goes onto famous streamer’s servers and griefs shit until he gets kicked, because he’s andrew 

except this time, it’s not one of neil’s mods (robin or brian or jack or sheena), it’s neil himself. he’s streaming. they’re both live, looking at each other as a building behind andrew blows up 

- “thats not very nice” 

- “whaddaya gonne do, kick me?” (andrew is like an angsty emo 12 yr old i love him) 

- neil instead says “nah ill let you be a mod”

- everyone’s like ????? he’s griefing your shit, and you’re gonna make him a moderator?

- andrew is also thoroughly confused 

- neil’s popularity, meanwhile, is skyrocketing. everyone wants him to get together with the foxes and play Mission F0X. Wymack has gruffly acknowledged all of the glitches and quirks neil’s criticised and is working to change them. andrew’s a mod on his minecraft server, and sometimes they work together (out of stream) in complete silence (not even on a call, just sometimes private messaging on discord about details or coordinates) as they clean up some shit on neil’s crazy server. they also work super hard on a map room (like RTGame’s server’s crazy fuckin map room holy SHIT goals)

- then all of a sudden andrew announces that he and neil are doing a fuckin mission F0X letsplay together, when he’s openly hated on the foxes’ obsession with Mission F0X, and neil has refused to work with the foxes because he’s scared of his new-found popularity. 

- everyone, once more, is like ????????

- unbeknownst to literally everyone on the planet, they’ve met up. neil explained why he’s avoiding kevin, even if his father’s dead, and he’s technically safe. the moriyamas own his ass and he can’t out himself like that. andrew thinks he’s being ridiculous because he’s never signed a contract and there’s nothing legally binding him to play for riko and moriyama gaming. 

- i just have this scene in my head where andrew has killed neil’s fox companion, carved “u r hot” onto it and chucking it at Neil’s head (who, mind you, is neil’s interpretation of his appearance, but god-knows he’s watered down his hotness because he’s so oblivious and andrew hates him)

- neil just laughs and tells andrew to pick him up at 7. andrew uses half of his health to revive his stupid fox companion, just like neil knew he would.

- andrew’s the only one streaming this episode: they take it in turns. he’s blushing like mad.

- nicky’s yelling THATS GAY and aaron is shaking his head and kevin is still Fuming that neil has refused to work with him but will work (and hook up) with andrew 

- eventually wymack sponsors him to play the prerelease of the Full Game and neil meets up with the rest of the foxes absOLUTELY DEBAUCHED BECAUSE HE HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANDREW AND THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT

- and everyones like. yep. okay. this kid managed to wrangle the monster of online gaming, makes him blush on stream and now walks in with their hands entwined like they’ve been dating for years. Respect. 

aaaaaaaaand yea thats all for now gnight

[ccborrega]

OK Sally headcanons (under the cut because this is gonna be long) :

I keep finding encountered versions on what she’s made of- either just rags or bits of flesh and cloth or different body parts- so I pretty much am making my own: Finkelstein HAD experimented with reanimation of dead parts but found fresh parts to be rather hard to come by, so he decided to experiment on providing life to materials that weren’t meant to be alive. Somewhere along that road, he begun to feel like it’d be nice to have someone to care for him, so he mixed both ideas into the creation of an ‘Ideal partner’ made from materials that weren’t necessarily organic- eventually, this project became Sally. He provided a soft heart made from marshmallow so that she would easily love him and a brain made from sponge so that she’d be a fast learner, filled her limbs with the dead leaves of Halloweentown’s trees to root her to the land (And because it doesn’t seem like Halloweentown inhabitants are familiar with plush?) (And yes, it IS a bit ironic that a lot of the elements of Sally’s built relate to principles of magic rather than science, but it’s part of the idea. Finkelstein isn’t really half as smart as he thinks he is.) 

Sally was, of course, alive by the end of the experiment, but she didn’t seem half as interested in Finkelstein as in everything in the castle- well, that’s good, he figured, she is curious and she’s definitely a fast learner and the sooner she learns how to do things, the better. Downside being- he himself has no idea of how to do most things he built her for. What to do? He figures he can kill two birds with one stone: Introduce her to the townsfolk and have her learn different things from them that can come in handy.

Sally, on her part, isn’t really trying to snuff Finkelstein or anything of the sort, she’s just- new to everything and eager to see all she’s been missing on. So when he tells her he’s gonna have her meet some new people she’s delighted.

They didn’t use to get along that badly at first. Sally was sweet and caring enough and Finkelstein was sort of high on the success of his experiment, so he didn’t use to mind her over-eagerness and restlessness that much. Sally, on her own part, had obvious affection and gratefulness towards him for creating her, and didn’t know enough yet to crave freedom or resent his control over her.

The Halloween Town citizens aren’t really half as surprised by the new inhabitant as they probably should- even though the Mayor was the only one who even KNEW he was making a girl. They gladly agree to show her the ropes.

Witches taught her to cook, which is why she knows how to work with poisons and magic herbs, as well as where to find them.

The vampires taught her to keep a house- that is, the Halloweentown equivalent, which includes a lot less cleaning and a lot more feeding the spiders and keeping the ambient gloom.

She’s a self-taught seamstress. Had to sew herself back together a couple of times on the first days because Finkelstein’s original stitches weren’t that good. Thanks to this, she realized she rather liked sewing.

She also made her own dress. Finkelstein had originally given her something similar to what he gave his ‘Soulmate’ at the end of the film, but she didn’t find it practical enough to move in. The Mayor actually gave her the stripped socks, which are typical Halloweentown wear.

She met Zero before she met Jack while on her way back to the castle from her daily cooking lesson. Zero had to teach her how to play fetch and once she got the hang of it, they played for a while- this was the start of Finkelstein’s reservations about letting her go out because she took longer than usual and he begun to realize she might actually not want to spend all her time cooped up if she saw enough about the outside world. This resulted in their relationship becoming tense because Sally had been curious and restless from the start, but he’d only then begun to have a problem with it, which obviously confused and frustrated her.

This was actually also the first time Jack saw her- no, look. LOOK. Hear me out. Jack saw her from afar when she was playing with Zero- he’d been looking for the doggo but upon finding him having so much fun, decided to let him play a bit longer, keeping a distance as to not interrupt. Sally was the one to stop the game once she realized how late it was, running off. Jack didn’t get to ask her name. 

(I’d like to say it was love at first sight but- really, he just was sort of surprised to see someone he didn’t know around town and playing with his dog. And the fact that Zero was all over her. He did find her pretty, though.)

Enter the events in ‘The Pumpkin King’ and Jack finally gets to learn WHO she is, exactly. This is also Sally’s first time seeing him.

I KNOOOW it’s generally regarded that Sally fell in love with him on first sight after he saved her but I think she may simply have developed a crush at that point.It’s also the first time she realizes there is a difference between types of affection and that what Finkelstein wants her to feel about him is closer to what she feels for Jack.

Sometime later, Dr. Finklestein -oblivious to Sally’s crush because he’d have to be actually paying attention to realize what was going on- asked Jack to allow her into his library for educational purposes.She asks too many questions and he doesn’t have the answers for all of it- not when she’s asking about things that require emotional intelligence rather than scientific knowledge. Jack agrees, of course. During this time, they get to know each other better. Jack is used to blind compliance and continuous praise, but Sally doesn’t provide it because she has no notion that she should; and he realizes he rather likes it. When she does comply and does praise him, he actually feels like he’s earned it. He likes that she’s as restless as he is, and that her curiosity makes him consider things from angles he hadn’t even thought of. He likes talking to her and is comforted by the fact that if he isn’t feeling like it, she doesn’t demand it. On her part, Sally is just now getting a taste of what companionship can feel like when it’s not obsessive and controlling. Jack allows her to roam freely, answers her questions as best as he can and allows her to look into whatever she’s interested in- be it useful for her role at Finkelstein’s or not. She gets to see some sides of him no one else has- because no one else has spent hours sitting on his studio in silence with him working through plan after plan, talking to himself. Seen how his face lights up when he’s come up with something good. Allowed him to slip into a role that’s truer to who he is rather than who the Town needs him to be. By the time Finkelstein decides she’s had ‘Enough education’, they’ve become rather close. Sally’s crush has evolved into love and Jack may be nursing the same kind of feeling for her but he’s too much of a numbskull to realize at first.

Close enough, actually, that Jack ‘Looks the other way’ when he spots her out and about on the street even though Finkelstein’s obviously against it.

(Actually most of the town does this. Did I see Sally? Here? Why, no, Doctor! Are you sure she isn’t in your attic, feeding the spiders? Meanwhile, Sally deadass naruto runs behind them.)

Spiral Hill becomes her favorite hiding spot because Finkelstein can’t really roll in there to look for her. It’s not very wheel-chair friendly.

No one really bats an eyelash to the constant scenes between them because they know deep down the Doctor isn’t all that bad- everyone figures at some point they are going to find a middle ground and all will be well.

((I’m not sure of WHAT they think about the evident fact that the Doctor wants Sally for a wife while she looks upon him as a guardian at most- part of me thinks he never did clarify this to anyone so they innocently assumed he shared the same feelings and was just being an ‘Over-protective parent’ with her.))

Jack does know, though. And as much as it saddens him, the thought that Sally might not want to be with Finkelstein never really crosses his mind. He thinks the only source fo the conflict to be how restrictive he is and that they’ll eventually solve it. This is why the minute he sees the Doctor with his new companion at the end of the film, he immediately looks for Sally in the crowd- he knows this means she’s free.

The Mayor prrrobably knows and prrrobably isn’t chill with it, but keeps putting off that conversation with the Doctor because he’s got so much work to do. What? No, it’s not also because it’s uncomfortable as fuck to talk about. It ends up solving itself without his intervention, though, and he can breathe easy on the matter and go back to obsessing over plans.

Sally is actually not that great at scaring kids. Finkelstein made her pretty by Halloweentown standards, which normally would mean she’d be pretty darn scary, but thanks to her personality she’s only mildly unnerving at most by human standards.

She and Santa are pen pals.

Lock, Shock and Barrel actually like her quite a lot and were a teeny bit sorry to see her at Oogie’s lair with Santa. Consequently, a teeny bit relieved when Jack saved her.

This is stupidly long already, let’s just leave it at that.

[aetherschreiber]

The Cycle of Fandom

I am an early Millennial.  As a 1982 baby, I literally came of age in the year 2000.  A lot of hay has been made about how my generation does things differently from our parents.  And by now, plenty of it has been made about why, as well.  I won’t rehash the talking points, but it comes down to how much things changed in our formative years.  Our parents went from vinyl to 8-tracks.  We went from cassette tapes to CDs to MP3 players to streaming over our phones.  That’s a lot to have to adapt to and as a result adapting is just what we do.

But when it comes to fandom, the human condition really hasn’t changed that much.  People like things and when they like things they obsess, collect, analyze, and sadly they eventually eventually gate-keep.

Now, let me preface all of this by saying that I don’t really have any citations for any of this.  But, as someone who was thoroughly raised in fandom, I also have a tendency to get hooked on things a lot of my generation would scoff at for being old.  I love the original Lost in Space and Man from UNCLE, the very first Mobile Suit Gundam is my favorite, I’m fascinated by the puppetry in Thunderbirds, and I’m a complete sucker for just about anything with Cary Grant.  I will binge-watch classic Doctor Who as much as I will the new stuff and love every moment of each for what it is.

For most Millennials, this isn’t the case, for whatever reason.  It’s neither a good thing nor a bad thing.  It just is.  Most folks in my generation have heavy nostalgia for the 80s at the oldest and just don’t really concern themselves with very much from before that.  It’s not that they don’t have an appreciation, but they don’t have the resulting fangirl crush I have on David McCallum that I will commiserate with my mother about (Illya Kuryakin is an adorable badass and I will die on that hill).

I like to think that this has given me a bit of a unique view on fandom, in general.  I participate in some older fandoms, where things move a bit more slowly and where the average age is usually at least one generation removed from me and therefore a bit wiser in a lot of ways.  They’ve just sort of... already covered this ground, so to speak.

The difference is the pace at which they did it.  But the cycle is the same.

It’s never anything that starts maliciously.  No fan I know of has ever set out to point-blank keep someone else from liking the thing.  Rather it starts with a sense of seniority.  “You like this thing, now, too?  Great!  I was there for the beginning and let me tell you, back then...”  It’s always like a fandom big sibling who wants to show their younger counterpart the ropes; get them proper caught-up and versed in the lore so that they can better participate.

I love fandom when it’s at this stage and it’s the type of fan I strive to be at all times.  I don’t like setting conditions for fandom.  I think it’s partly because I am such a late-comer to so many.  The idea of being a fan of something that was made 30 years or more before you were born is a hell of a thing, but I’ve never let that stop me.  And for the most part, these fandoms that are much older than I am have reached the point where they are welcoming and just sort of stuck in the big sibling stage.  Sure, you have the occasional troll, the guy that scoffs that I can’t understand because I wasn’t there at the very beginning.  But they’re usually slapped to the ground pretty quickly by everyone else.

There is the occasional exception, of course.  But one of the things those such fandoms have in common is that there is still new content being made for it.  Doctor Who is a prime example, as is Star Trek, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings (yes, I do count the upcoming Amazon series and other non-book content as new content, deal with it).  There’s something about new content being made for a fandom that causes an odd anxiety that thing that the fandom loves is going to be somehow ruined.

I’m going to use Doctor Who as an example for a lot of this.  The show turned 56 years old this last November.  56 years!  And the fact that it had a couple of decade-long breaks in there, which were themselves only separated by a single two-hour movie, only serve to highlight the changes it went through.

My second-oldest memory is of Doctor Who.  I remember the regeneration from Tom Baker to Peter Davison.  Now, Whovian historians, before you freak out because that change-over happened in 1981, before I was even born, remember that back then the US got episodes around two and three years later than the BBC, in syndication on public television channels.  So for me, that change happened when I was two.  I remember there being some Big Thing (tm) that my dad was anticipating.  I remember the burgundy and red outfit that Tom Baker was wearing while laying stricken on the ground, surrounded by his companions.  And I remember him suddenly turning into a blond and sitting up, wide-eyed and mystified.  I didn’t understand any of it at the time, of course.  And so I also remember turning to my dad, who was watching with excitement, while the credits were rolling and asking why the man turned into another man.  Oddly, that’s where the memory ends.  I don’t remember the response.  In fact, it’s only having since seen that episode as an adult that I have been able to identify it for what it was.

After that, I don’t have much in the way of Doctor Who related memories until the Paul McGann movie in 1996.  I was 14 and not well-steeped in Whovian lore at the time and I thought it was great.  My dad was more luke-warm to it because it just wasn’t the same as what he grew up with.  It was a sentiment shared by many, unfortunately, which meant that Paul McGann’s wonderful take on the Doctor was relegated purely to audio adventures until the 50th anniversary in 2013.  Sadly, in the early days of the internet, those of us who liked it weren’t quite able to find each other yet.  In the days of Usenet and mailing lists, it was still only the most hardcore fans of a thing who got together to geek out.  Meaning that most of the conversation was “oh, that’s all wrong.”  Lurking in those conversations, I saw pretty much every tremulous young person who dared to say that they liked it get slapped to the ground and told they weren’t a fan of “the real thing.”

Gate-keeping.  It’s nothing new.  And in 1996 Doctor Who fandom ran smack into its pad-locked closed barrier.  Around that same time other old but still active fandoms were starting to manifest the same thing on the internet.  It was when Trekkies suddenly separated into Trekkies (who had seen the original as it aired) and Trekkers (who came long later), for reasons I have never understood.

No, that’s not true.  I understand it.  Us humans tend to get possessive about our stories.  We have a sort of emotional ownership to them, even if not a legal one.  And when you feel an ownership of something, there is an instinct to protect it, keep it pure.  And to do that, it’s natural to try to set oneself up as an authority on the subject.

It took another decade for Doctor Who to come off the shelf again, in 2005.  I was 24 by then, the age that marketers tend to target.  A friend got his hands on a digi-copy of Christopher Eccleston’s first episode, “Rose,” that had been leaked to the internet in its entirety about a week before it actually aired.  We watched it before our D&D group met and I was instantly hooked.  And the friend that was responsible for the new addiction was only too happy to have new fandom friends.

The pendulum had swung.  Gate-keeping was out and welcoming people to the fandom was the MO.  Of course, there were and still are to this day old school Whovians who deny that anything past Sylvester McCoy exists, calling the 1996 movie and the current series a different show entirely.  There will always be those people.  But for the most part, Whovians welcomed new fans with open arms throughout all of Eccleston’s and David Tennant’s runs.

Now, that one cycle, from welcoming to gate-keeping, and back to welcoming, took 42 years.  Most things don’t last anywhere close to that long.  A show might be on for five years or a movie and its sequels be around for ten and after that, for the most part, it’s done.  And in the pre-internet age of fandom, the pendulum swung slowly enough never to hit a repeat in the cycle.

The internet has sped up everything about fandom.  The airing of just about any show in any country might as well be a world-wide premiere these days because it all just travels that quickly.  It has to if it wants to maintain any sort of surprise in its story lines, otherwise internet chatter will spoil it.  These days, things move so fast that even the few hours between an episode of Doctor Who airing in the UK and in the US is enough that one can be subjected to spoilers.  And the swing of the fandom pendulum has sped up accordingly.

For Doctor Who, it started swinging back again when David Tennant left the show and Matt Smith took over.  Tennant’s Doctor had a lot of fans who desperately didn’t want “their Doctor” to leave, many of whom took to the internet, swearing off the show.  They said it would never be as good because David Tennant was just the best Doctor ever.  By then, there were a number of us Millennial Whovians who had dug into the lore and were comfortable with the concept of regeneration as a part of it.  After all, it had already happened nine times.  And there was a bit of a tendency to call those people who swore off Matt Smith’s episodes as being fans not of Doctor Who but of David Tennant.  Meanwhile, of course, old school Whovians were patting us all on the head going “aren’t you cute.  Now you understand why Tom Baker leaving was such a thing.”

And so, the pendulum started to swing back.  You started having people call other people “not really fans of Doctor Who.”  That only got worse when Peter Capaldi took over and there was a significant portion of the fandom upset that the Doctor was now an older guy instead of the 30-something Doctors we had grown accustomed to.

Gate-keeping reared its ugly head for most of Capaldi’s run and, sadly, I think that kept a lot of people from the fandom and from really appreciating the 12th Doctor.  That cycle has started to swing back with Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor, but the gate-keeping is in a stage where it is desperate to hold on to what Doctor Who was when they became fans and therefore is very toxic right now.  It’s not pretty.  But those asshats are starting to be slapped to the ground on social media thanks to a new influx of fans who are now once again more comfortable with the idea of regeneration and its possibilities.

Similar swings are happening with many other fandoms.  The Star Wars fandom is a really ugly place right now, quite frankly.  Star Trek seems to be on the welcoming end.  There are always the exceptions to every generalization, of course.  There will always be “that guy” in fandom.

This swing has always existed.  Millennials are just the first generation for whom it has swung multiple times in the life of the show.  The internet is probably the biggest contributing factor to that.  What that means is that we’re the first generation to really have the chance to see the pattern for what it is.  A few of us have even been able to extrapolate back and understand that, no, this is how it always has been, just slower.

The hopeful part of that is this; by virtue of being the first to recognize the pattern, we are the first ones with the opportunity to learn from that history.  And now we’re starting to see fandoms that actively abhor gate-keeping and just want more people to come in and play.  But those tend to be very young fandoms.

The one that comes to mind for me is Critical Role.  This is a fandom that was wholly born on the internet, as the series is streamed live on Twitch.  It’s really unlike anything that has ever had a fandom this size before.  It’s only been around for four years or so.  But the cast is on its second D&D campaign which means it’s already had the opportunity to have the elitism gate that could be closed.  But something different seems to have happened.  The very moment that people started saying “I’m a real fan because I watched the Vox Machina campaign, not just the Mighty Nein,” they were told to shut the hell up and let people like things.  A foot was stuck into the gate and wrenched it back open before it could close.  And you know what?  The fandom has absolutely exploded in the last two years.  And I have yet to run into a single instance of someone gate-keeping for it that didn’t get an overwhelming and harsh rebuttal from the folks who welcome people to the fandom.

Sadly, the Critical Role fandom is distinct from the Dungeons & Dragons fandom on this point.  But therein lies the difference.  D&D is over 45 years old, ten times and more the age of Critical Role.  And the “satanic panic” over it in the 80s made a lot of D&D players very protective of the hobby, only amplifying that.  The age of your average Critter is only mid-to-late 20s or so.  At 37, I’m a little bit of an outlier, I have found.  The Critter fandom is big on TikTok which I... don’t grock, frankly, because I’m turning into an old fart.  But I’ve never, ever, been made to feel unwelcome because of that difference.  It’s been a refreshing experience, frankly.

In contrast, I really feel like I’m only now starting to be considered a “true Whovian” by the old school Whovians.  It took me 15 years and required me getting hooked on the classic stuff (which I was all too happy to do).  People who have never seen any of the classic stuff and don’t care to are often still looked down upon.  That needs to change.

The Critical Role fandom is still young and all of this may prove to be overly-optimistic in the end.  But I think it has the opportunity to be the first big fandom not to go through the gate-keeping cycle.  I sincerely hope we can hold on to that.  The cast and crew are a big part of that, with how they always hammer on the idea of inclusivity and engage so directly with the fandom.  “Don’t forget to love each other” is Matt Mercer’s sign-off at the end of every episode and serves as a constant reminder.  And if more casts and crews of more fandoms do that sort of engaging in the future, it will help break the cycle of fandom gate-keeping all the more thoroughly.  This is a fact that production companies are starting to awaken to as Millennials, comfortable with social media, age into positions of authority.

So, welcome people in, gate-keep, almost cause the whole thing to collapse, repeat.  That’s the cycle that fandom has engaged in for three generations and more.  But I think we’re on the cusp of breaking that cycle, for the most part.  The idea that you can be a fan of something without knowing absolutely everything about it has been gaining very visible traction in the last five years or so and it is wonderful to see.

Now, please, people.  Don’t prove me wrong.

[curewhimsy]

Haruhi Whimsica AU and Emotions

Before I tell you about Yuki’s story, here are some facts about her home planet, Nagatopia.

The planet Nagatopia has an oblong shape, referencing the kanji pronounced “naga”, meaning long.

Nagatopia is in a distant galaxy from Whimsica’s location in space. However, this location is closer to Whimsica than Whimsica is to Earth.

Whimsica and Earth have the same average temperature. However, Nagatopia is colder than both these places by 45 degrees less on average.

Nagatopia is very technologically advanced. The jet engines and rockets make almost no noise. This is why Yuki isn’t used to loud noise.

Contemporary music and dance doesn’t exist on that planet. Music is mathematically and scientifically composed by machines alone. It’s purpose is to aid as a thinking tool. Music is not considered art, and almost no human feelings and composing goes into it. Most Whimsicans consider it to be soulless.

Aside from mathematical designs, there is a lack of art on the planet. Writing and books are considered art, however. 

Nagatopia isn’t explicitly evil the way Monochrome is, but it can be argued that it’s low-key evil.

“Nagatopian” is an umbrella term for any being hailing from Nagatopia. The human-resembling species that Yuki is a part of is actually known as Xoro.

Nagatopia will be under a different name in original (non-fandom) Whimsica stories. The alternate name will be Xoropolis. This is to avoid the reference to a copyrighted franchise.

About Xoros (Humanoid Nagatopians)-

The species of Xoro (plural: Xoros) share no common ancestors with humans, despite resembling them almost identically. Xoros even have the same range of skin tones that humans typically have.

Xoros are ice-blooded organisms. This is different from being cold-blooded. Ice-blooded organisms naturally produce a cool body temperature of 59 degrees Fahrenheit, and need to stay cool.

Anyway...

It turns out that emotions are considered flaws on Nagatopia. When babies are born on the planet, they are given emotion-suppressant drugs in the brain that last their entire lives. This essentially closes the door to their emotions. This also makes it so the affected can never fulfill themselves, as doing so involves opening the heart.

(To fulfill oneself means to triumph over an important obstacle or to have a similar meaningful moment. They then are able to unlock their magical transformation, complete with a special outfit and weapon. A person’s powers can grow more than tenfold in the state when they are transformed.)

The emotion-suppressant drugs administered to Yuki’s brain as a newborn are why she has the demeanor that she has. She, like the rest of those who have received the drugs, still have decision-making skills, desires, and a conscience. They still know right from wrong, but they just can’t feel emotion—the indescribable feelings from deep in the heart. 

When Yuki was nine years old, she read her first Whimsican book. Whimsica had been sending signals and messages to space in hopes to find alien life. When they reached Nagatopia, they figured out how to decipher the Whimsican languages, and were able to teach it to people. Yuki was taught how to read English at a young age.

The Whimsican book stirs something powerful deep within Yuki... She experiences a substantial bout of emotion for the first time. It changes Yuki’s life. The Whimsican book and it’s magical, heartfelt qualities had opened to door to her feelings ever so slightly, From then on, Yuki had been obsessed with that inexplicable sensation that she felt. Her native Xoro language doesn’t even have a name for it.

Emotion.

Yuki reads more of the books and eventually attains the desire to move to Whimsica. Maybe if she went to Whimsica, she could feel that magical sensation even more. Yuki’s parents don’t approve of her going to Whimsica and don’t want to help her get there. So Yuki has to build her spacecraft all by herself.

When Yuki meets friends on Whimsica, her heart begins to open up more and more. Yuki is originally bullied for being quiet and distant, which is because of the emotion-suppressants in her brain.

She begins to feel more and more, but it never feels like enough.

Eventually, Yuki gets so frustrated with not being able to experience full emotions. She wants to rewrite the nearby universe, so that she was born and raised on the planet Whimsica, instead of being Nagatopian. This way, she would’ve never been given the emotion suppressants. She would just be a normal human girl who can feel emotions.

Yuki hijacks Haruhi’s godlike powers and reloads the nearby universe. In this universe, Yuki is a shy and emotional bookworm. This is who Yuki truly is deep inside of her heart. This is how Yuki would’ve turned out if she was never given the emotion suppressants. The procedure of altering the universe takes a lot out of Yuki, and she had been quietly planning it for a while.

When the new universe is finished being built, Yuki will forget about her old life in the old world. Yuki will have been reborn. She’s willing to sacrifice all her memories, including the fact that she remade the world, for a better life.

In this new universe, Haruhi never came to Whimsica (she’s still back on Earth) due to a butterfly effect. Kyon is the only one who remembers the old universe. Yuki made it this way so that Kyon could ultimately bring back the old world if he wanted to. Yuki trusted Kyon enough to let him to be the one to make the decision.

Kyon brings back the old world, and Yuki’s memories are restored. He believes that Yuki didn’t have to make a new world, and promises to fix the old one.

Kyon comes to Yuki’s apartment to visit and comfort her. He finds that she’s on the roof. Yuki breaks down in tears, in front of Kyon alone. This is the first time Kyon had ever seen Yuki cry.

“I’m sorry.” Yuki says. “I just didn’t know what to do.”

Kyon wipes Yuki’s tears, and tells some words she’ll never forget.

“You have such a wonderful heart, Yuki. You already have one of the purest hearts I know. I’m so sorry you have to feel this way, so don’t apologize. I know I wouldn’t like it if I couldn’t laugh, or feel joy when I wanted to. But I promise I’ll do all I possibly can to help you. It’s promise. And not just me, but Haruhi, and all your other friends will help too. You’re our precious companion. I want you to know how wonderful you truly are.”

It starts snowing. It’s so cold outside, that even Yuki feels chilly. Kyon wraps his warm jacket around her, and they spend a few moments watching the snowy night together.

A few days later, Haruhi gets one of her trademark ideas. Only this time, it’s a meaningful and courageous idea. She suggests that and the rest of the Brigade should infiltrate Nagatopia and demand them to stop producing the emotion-suppressant drugs by persuading them with how beautiful emotions can be. This way, nobody else will have suffer like Yuki. Meanwhile, the group will help open the hearts of the Nagatopians who already emotion-suppressed.

Everyone goes to Nagatopia undercover. The trip takes three days, using magic space fuel that the Queen of Whimsica let them use. On Nagatopia, they have to fit in with the rest of the planet’s inhabitants to hide they’re from Whimsica.

The friends have to act monotone and emotionless to pass as people who are native to the planet.

They’re in disguise wearing dull, modest clothes. They want to infiltrate into the radio station, pretending they have a job there. Then, they’ll put on some music that has emotions in it and blast it on all the stations so everyone around the planet can hear it.

Things are going good so far… but suddenly in the midst of it all, Haruhi randomly bursts out laughing at something incredibly stupid. Everyone gets caught that they’re actually from Whimsica.

But in the end, everything ends up working out. With the persuasion of Yuki and her friends, Nagatopia is open to emotions and the emotion-suppressant drugs stop being manufactured and administered for good.

Throughout Yuki’s life, her heart opens up more and more. Her smiles are incredibly meaningful, and she smiles more and more every year.

[kibbles-bits]

Please, can you tell us what happens after Zamasu leaves Mai and his/her comrade ? You inspire me a lot for my own work on DB

ye i have like a whole thing lmao

here’s part 1

After they leave, Mai finds Trunks as he’s recovering andtells him how there is a person named Zamasu that he healed one of their menbut appears to be working with Black. Because he hasn’t actively participatedin the destruction, Trunks ultimately decides not to go out and be the one tostart the fight with him if he spots him (though he never sees him) since Blackalone is a big enough challenge.

Trunks and Black clash a few more times before Zamasu visitsMai again. She’s surprised since he hadn’t shown himself at all for a while andis also irritated that he’d show his face. Trunks had advised her not to pick afight since if he was allied with Black, then he must have great power as well.She asks what Zamasu wants and he tells her that she’s the only human he expectsto be out while their two companions battle. The only reason he was looking forher specifically was because he didn’t know what happened to the mortal hehealed and with their uniforms, they all looked very similar. She tells him theman ended up getting killed by Black during one of their attempts to fightback.

Zamasu isn’t surprised but is disappointed that his littleexperiment gave such predictable results. He voices this out loud and Mai is pissedthat he hadn’t actually cared about the man’s life and calls him twisted.Zamasu explains that he isn’t the twisted one. That mortal was fated to die andZamasu had given him a second chance. It was the mortal that had wasted it bydoing the exact same thing that would have killed him the first time. Maicounters that there wasn’t anything else he could do since Black was determinedto kill them. She takes the chance to ask him why Black was out to destroythem all.

Always down to monologue about anything, Zamasu goes onabout their mission as Gods. Mortals are unworthy and incapable of change andmust be put out of their misery, yadda yadda. Mai is horrified that it is godswho are wreaking such destruction, beings that the earthlings had actuallyprayed to for mercy. Zamasu stresses again, the killing is an act ofmercy. He is a god and what he states is a fact of the universe. Mai points outthe hypocrisy of killing to stop mortals from sinning and Zamasu gets irritatedand leaves (still unwilling to kill a mortal himself).

When Zamasu goes back to Black he insists they just hurry upand get earth over with already but Black says no. He wants to continue usingTrunks to get stronger. It’s clear it’s a new obsession for him and Zamasu guessesits because of the mortal body he is in. Black says that is a part of it, buthe really did need to get stronger if they wanted to kill the mortals who mighthave managed to be as strong as a god (there were some very interesting mortalsin Universe 11). Zamasu asks why not just kill everyone except Trunks? Blacktells him that then there would be nothing left for Trunks to fight for. Zamasureluctantly accepts the answer.

Except its really boring now. All Black talks aboutis fighting and getting stronger and with the destruction in the area, it wasmore difficult to find nature to observe and pass the time. He hadn’t mastered kaisight without the use of a crystal ball and since he didn’t have one on hand hecouldn’t observe anything else in the cosmos to keep himself entertained.

He tracks down Mai again, to her annoyance, andtalks to her to entertain himself and explain all the reasons she is wrongabout their judgement of mortals. Mai, meanwhile, gets a better feel of hischaracter and his limits with each visit. Zamasu would say he and Black were aduo so maybe if she could somehow change one’s mind, it would stop the actionsof the other. She learns that Zamasu is pretentious, narcissistic,self-centered and single-minded. Pretty similar to a lot of humans she’s met ifshe’s honest, but she’s able to work with it and manage a conversation that isn’tcompletely one-sided. Really the most annoying thing during conversations ishis insistence in calling her ‘mortal’ instead of her name. (though she later findsout its because at first she never told him her name and then because hegot used to calling her that and all humans looked the same to him anyway so-)

She also learns that he’s bored and for some reason, maybe,lonely?  Which is odd to her cause if he andBlack were gods, then shouldn’t they be used to not having a lot of company? It’sweird to her until Zamasu lets slip the name ‘Gowasu’ when he mentionssomething once said to him. When she asks, he tells her that there were once severalgods, but they were all gone now and he seems reluctant to talk about it (eventhough he loves to hear himself talk). Mai is interested for two reasons.One, if the gods were killed, then there is a way to kill Black. Two, the topicwas the only one that she had ever seen Zamasu uncomfortable with and lose his composurein a way that made him seem vulnerable for a moment.

The vulnerability inspires her to be more engaging with himand he soaks up the attention like a sponge. If she showed any sign of ignoringhim after he’s been particularly rude about mortals, he’d silently pester herwith his presence until either she gave in and talked to him or he approached asubject that didn’t demean mortals. Though he still insisted they would alwaysend up choosing the path of evil, he would listen to her counter arguments.

(Trunks, meanwhile, is aware of these meetings. As long asMai is careful, he’s grateful she’s trying to help in a way that keeps her safefrom Black.)

Eventually Zamasu talks about the structure of the gods. TheSupreme Kai of Creation and the God of Destruction and their roles in theuniverse. With a bit more pressing, Zamasu admits he was a Supreme Kai-in-trainingbefore his mentor, Gowasu, died. (He quickly adds that he was chosen because ofhow amazingly powerful and skilled he was) With this new knowledge, Mai asks ifsince he’s a Supreme Kai of Creation, did that make Black a God of Destruction?Zamasu takes a minute to think about it, then leaves without giving her ananswer.

Zamasu returns to Black who is waiting for him this time. Heexpects an interrogation, but instead Black is excited and tells him he learnedhow to sense ki, finally. With this new ability he will be able to gauge futureopponent’s strength and now he knows he has greatly surpassed Trunks so he hasoutlived his usefulness. He’s just going to have one more fight or two and thendestroy the earthlings for good and then they can move on to another planet.Zamasu is a little disappointed because he had grown to like Mai, but at thesame time is relieved that Black hadn’t fully succumbed to a mortal feelinglike obsession with Trunks and it’ll all be over.

He remembers Mai’s question and asks Black what he thinks ofit. Black scoffs at it. The old ways of the gods were over and Black tellsZamasu that he needed to forget what Gowasu taught him because it’s onlyholding him back. The multiverse only needed one god of justice to rule overtheir perfect paradise and once they fused, it would have it.

Black mentioning Gowasu gets Zamasu a little heated as hebegins to realize he hasn’t had much say in what’s been going on, not even inGowasu’s death. Even when he did say something, he would be ignored. Blackis the one acting in charge. Although Black is a version of himself, he isstill in mortal flesh and now, in his eyes, quite inferior. He didn’t see muchwrong with the way the gods used to run things (a God of Creation and God ofDestruction) but Black did.

Zamasu admits he’s having second thoughts about fusing,which leads to an argument. If they didn’t fuse, then there would be two godsinstead of one, which would go against Black’s plans. Both of them are aware ofthis and both are too egotistical to server the other. After their argument it’sjust cold shoulders. Neither of them know how to approach this. They neverexpected to truly disagree on something as important as this since they’re thesame person. Black still thinks there’s time to salvage their relationship butZamasu has doubts.

[nadziejastar]

NO FEAR: IsaLea is still subtly canon (ill take what I’ll get) and Skuld comes and they become a platonic trio. No Isa/Skuld or Lea/Skuld (writers could try to flip it on us). FEAR: Skuld eats up all the attention in the trio. Isa and Lea’s characterization gets reduced to one dimensional fanboys. Skuld paired up with Isa or Lea. We stick in forced pairing hell and there will be ship wars.

NIGHTMARE: The writers make Skuld and either Isa or Lea get married and have a kid. I don’t think push it THAT far. I dunno if they’ll truly go through with a romantic pairing. But I’m gonna lose hope and interest if they do. 

Sora: Kairi, I’ll keep you safe.

Kairi: Let me keep you safe.

Well, if you ask me, Lea and Isa were already reduced to one-dimensional fanboys in KH3. Lea was more of a one-dimensional fanboy for different characters, though. And in future games, he’ll probably continue to be portrayed that way. I’ve already lost interest. The only hope I have left is the sick humor I’ll get watching all the characters get destroyed. Lea and Kairi’s role in the final battle was supposed to be saving Isa from Xehanort’s control. But since that idea was thrown in the trash, they had no real reason to be there anymore. Thus, they became totally irrelevant to the plot. Roxas conveniently arrived just in time to take Lea’s place, while Xion arrived to take Kairi’s place.

Saïx: You’re the fire that feeds Sora’s anger.

Kairi: No… Sora’s in danger because of me…

Kairi wanted to prove herself during her training. She wanted to keep Sora and the others safe for a change. And she does! She becomes a real hero instead of a damsel-in-distress. Psyche! She actually regresses to be an even MORE useless damsel than ever before! 

Her new friend Axel doesn’t even react when she’s kidnapped. Kairi, who? Who cares about her? Roxas Stu and Xion Sue are here! Time for a big snuggly hug! But wait. Now there’s more Guardians of Light than necessary. Kairi is superfluous. How can we make her important? Well, I guess she can motivate Sora again? A-hyuk! How does her fight with Saïx go? Exactly like it did before she could wield a Keyblade, of course! She is simply the fire to fuel Sora’s anger…again.

Kairi: I’m training to become a Keyblade wielder like you. That’s right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures.

It’s okay. She still has a happy ending! While everyone else celebrates, she gets to imagine Sora is with her while crying to herself. Sure, everyone starts to worry as she’s hallucinating. But it’s okay. Sora will be back. 

Donald: Kairi, you were great!

Kairi: Oh?

Sora: You are different, Kairi, but I’m just glad you’re here!

Kairi: You and Riku never came home, so I came looking for you.

Any minute now. She’ll just wait right here for him to come back.

Lea: Ah, I’ll catch up with ya in no time flat.

Sora: What? You wanna be a Keyblade Master?

Lea: Yeah. I mean, I came here to learn how to wield one.

Lea wanted to prove himself as a Keyblade wielder as well. He put himself at risk using the D.T.D just to find Mickey. All so he could become a wielder and find Isa. He believes that inside people’s memories, he can live forever. He spends the whole game training with Kairi in preparation for the final battle. Yeah…Lea was a pretty cool character. 

Xigbar: Axel!

Lea: Axel? Please. The name’s Lea. Got it memorized?

Xigbar: You’re not supposed to be here!

Xigbar was right. Lea, you aren’t supposed to be here.

Axel: You kidding? Do you know how popular I am? I got loads of people rootin’ for me. Sorry, boss. No one axes Axel. Got it memorized?

That’s better.

Sora & Riku: YOU!?

Lea: Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, I was gonna come swooping in, Keyblade in hand! But I just couldn’t get mine to materialize. Must be in the snap of the wrist or something.

For some reason, Lea stopped caring about Isa, and his sole purpose in life became…Roxas…again. A character who he has…no ability to bring back, actually. Not even with his snazzy new Keyblade. So, what now? How can he still be useful?

Lea: You had your perfect little script, but you kinda forgot to write the sequel. Now, let’s find out what happens!

Few people realize that Lea—excuse me, AXEL— was breaking the fourth wall all the way back in KH3D. He knew exactly what would happen!And instead of braving the darkness, rescuing his friend, and becoming a hero…Axel gets benched. Literally. He gets to watch from the bleacher seats.

Lea: Promises to keep. I’ll always be there to get my friends back. What, bad timing? 

Well, whaddaya know? It turns out that getting his ass handed to him was just the magic spark Roxas Stu needed to magically arrive and save the day. Axel fanboys over Roxas Stu’s sheer awesomeness! Roxas Stu smiles at Axel with a cool expression. Roxas Stu is back, so Axel has served his purpose. He tells Axel that his five minutes are up now. It’s HIS turn.

Xemnas: Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten.

Whoa, Xemnas can break the fourth wall, too? He sure called it ahead of time. But it’s okay. He is more than happy about it. He compliments Roxas Stu and Xion Sue for their amazing prowess with the Keyblade! Those two are old pros, unlike him, after all! A-hyuck!

Saïx: Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.

This picture is a fairly decent representation of KH3′s Isa. He’s on his knees, alone, being looked down on by everyone. Lea is disgusted with him. He’s lost all sense of purpose…in the story, that is. If you think about Isa’s canon story, he and Lea try to rescue a girl that they barely know, and are not sure even exists. They become apprentices just for her, then get turned into Nobodies. They devote their lives to finding information about this girl, and they conspire to make Saïx Xemnas’ right-hand man. Saïx is so obsessed with this random girl, he drifts apart from Axel and becomes…a sociopath. Yep, that’s all folks. You were expecting a tragic backstory? Nope! There’s no intriguing human experiment plot! Just girl drama.

Maleficent: You see? It’s just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, now he values them far more than he does you. You’re better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him and come with me. I’ll help you find what you’re searching for…

Roxas Stu and Xion Sue observe with pity as Axel’s OLD best friend gets put in his place. As his NEW best friends, they are rewarded with brand-new DLC packs…starring them, of course. They were always special after all. The only Keyblade users in Days. But it wasn’t enough for them to simply steal Axel and Kairi’s first and only fight as wielders. Now they need MORE screen time so we can bask in their glory.

Axel: You let them reduce you to this?

Axel does break the fourth wall a lot in KH3. Well, he was actually doing it here, too. He’s not referring to Organization XIII when he asks this—he was talking about Square Enix and Disney. He’s asking Isa how he let himself get turned into such a pathetic character. And the answer is simple: Axel went off and made other friends. More POPULAR friends. So he got left in the dust. From a narrative standpoint, that’s exactly what happened.

Riku: Take care of her.

Somewhere along the way, Saïx became part-Xehanort. The implication in KH3 was that he willingly became a vessel, since he wasn’t being controlled like Terra was, and Lea was disgusted at how he let himself get reduced to his state. So, he basically sacrificed his humanity JUST to find this random girl. Totally believable actions from a complex and multi-dimensional character, right? Then he became obsessed with power…or something? Meanwhile, Axel makes other friends. Saïx gets jealous and becomes a giant asshole, and now he has to redeem himself by getting replicas for Lea’s NEW bestest friends. 

He then quietly fades away in the background, out of shame. It’s an utterly sad and pathetic story, really. One more fitting for a tragic villain than someone on the side of the good guys. I can’t decide which would be worse. Isa and Skuld actually getting together, and rewarding this horrible characterization…or Isa continuing to degrade himself for her while his feelings go unrequited. I remember how much I despised Riku’s character arc in KH1, and how pissed off I was during his ending scene. I was SO grateful that the future games stepped away from shit like this. But now, it’s back, I guess.

Roxas: You’re me, so you can feel what I felt.

Sora: No. Roxas, you’re you. We’re not the same. I wanted to tell you that. That you deserve as much as I do to be your own person.

Personally I doubt that Isa and Skuld will actually become a couple. I think Isa’s fate is to be the same as the Riku Replica. Naminé brainwashed him, and implanted false memories inside of him to make him think he was in love with her. He became obsessed with a phantom girl to the point where he wanted to kill his childhood friend, Sora. He finds out the truth about how their relationship was a fraud and never existed in the first place. Then he dies.

Then comes back! But…he sacrifices his only chance at having his own life. Like Isa, he did it “all for her”. In a narrative sense, he was sacrificed as a pawn in order to bring back Naminé. She needs the replica more (ie. is more popular) than him. And nobody needs him, since the REAL Riku is already around anyways. A faithful replica until the very end. Isa served the same purpose in KH3. His arc was sacrificed in order to concoct an excuse to bring Roxas and Xion back, and also to put the spotlight on Skuld from now on.

Riku Replica: So…it’s over. Hmph. Death doesn’t frighten me. Good riddance to a phony life. My heart was never real. I’m sure even what I’m feeling now is probably all fake.

Riku: What are you feeling?

Riku Replica: What happens when a fake dies—one like me? Where will my heart go? Does it disappear?

Riku: It’ll go somewhere. Maybe to the same place as mine.

Riku Replica: Tsk. A faithful replica until the very end. That’s…okay.

Riku Replica had a MUCH more dignified death in CoM. He rejected the fake memories he had. He resented the fact that he was a fake replica. He didn’t have to go to the Dark Realm or the afterlife. He was always a part of Riku. So ultimately, he went back to him. They had the same heart—they were the same person. I thought that was a fitting end, and his final words were quite compelling actually. KH3 plays up the fact that replicas are totally unique individuals, yet treats Riku Replica as being even more disposable than before. But it’s okay. He’s happy about it. A-hyuk!

[lenfaz]

Sea Squad, ch. 6 (6/14)

Summary: Killian Jones has always managed tough spots in his con life… but never like this one. His brother is out of jail and convinced the only way to win his name back is to heist the casino of a major Vegas mogul, leaving Killian to do the planning. He now has to deal with a half-brother desperate to gain a name of his own, an ex-fling that carries her own torch against the casino mogul, his brother losing his mind over his ex-wife,  his former mentor’s depression and the one woman he can’t get out of his mind giving him chase. Ocean’s Eleven AU

Rating: M

Content warnings: semi-explicit sexual content, law-breaking (they are thieves, liars and con men), mild violence (someone will get punched), mention of former relationships (for the main pair) and cheating (but not for the main pair)

Banner (link to banner post) and art by the amazing @clockadile Go check her art tag for the fic here!

This fic would never exist without the wonderful @sambethe who convinced me to do over hot chocolate on one cold Chicago afternoon and virtually held my hand and betaed this fic for months. thank you SO much for everything you do.

A/N: A long time ago there was talk about Hook & his sea friends and a few collective posts shaped the idea of a Sea Squad. This fic is the attempt to bring that creativity to life. Tagging @queen-mabs-revenge   @thesschesthair   and @jvosketches as they were part of that initial thinking back in the day. If a few things sound familiar, it’s because they are based on the movie.

Link to  FFnet & AO3

on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 

Chapter 6

The hours turned long and they’d hit the somewhat duller stages of planning. The initial excitement for the heist had given way to long hours of detailing, building the vault replica, and going over the execution. It required a level of focus and concentration that brought out frayed nerves in everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Nemo had always been good at keeping his composure, and Poseidon had a knack for coming in and out of the character he was playing without wearing himself out. But the rest of them were starting to show signs of distress.

Ariel and Eric bantered constantly, but their rapport had taken on a sniping quality, even about the most petty items, right down to their Netflix queue. The uptick in Smee’s fidgeting with his cap, as well as his obsessive need to re-review the footage of the casinos and note every single detail, was leaving an ache in Killian’s jaw from all the clenching.

LJ, meanwhile, was giving Killian and Liam the silent treatment, as he kept his headphones glued to his ears and his nose buried in a seemingly endless stream of books.

Milah had taken to disappearing for hours at a time, keeping whatever - or whomever - she was doing under wraps. All of which suited Killian just fine, as the last thing they needed was to alert Gold that she was in town. Besides he knew Milah and trusted her. He knew she could be stealthy when she wanted, so he kept his mouth shut.

Ursula spent most of her time shadowing her co-workers at the casino, and only dropping by to feed them new information and get orders from Liam. The two of them would retreat into a corner, all bent heads and whispered words. They didn’t fool Killian at all. He knew Ursula was updating Liam on all of Belle’s movement and a part of him wanted to call his brother on wasting effort by splitting their focus. But Liam had promised, as did he, so he knew he owed his brother this chance.

As for Henry, Killian knew he still felt like an outsider. Luckily, the kid had thick skin and when he was done bonding with LJ over music and comics, he’d retreat to his own corner, plugging in his headphones and writing in his journal. His quiet edge was one Killian easily recognized as the product of spending too much time on his own in foster and group homes, and he couldn’t help but feel drawn to the kid because of it.  When he was not shadowing LJ, Killian had been working with Henry, going over what he needed to do and rehearsing and timing his performance. The lad was good - more than good - and Killian couldn’t help the pride he felt as time and again Henry delivered on what he was asked to do.

Which was why when he found out that Henry wasn’t an expert on poker - or any card game - Killian took the kid under his wing and vowed to teach him everything he knew. Unlike his celebrity students, Henry was sharp as a knife, picking up on what the game was about and executing bluffs with such mastery that it brought tears to Killian’s eyes. He was getting fairly good at blackjack too. He couldn’t count cards with Liam’s speed, but he was good at making quick decisions in the heat of the game and landing on his feet.

After the first couple of nights, LJ asked to join the game, and Killian got a glimpse at another side of his little brother. When he was at ease - and he seemed most at ease with Smee and Henry - he could be quite charming. His permanent scowl gave way to an easy smile and a dry wit, his hands moving fast as he dealt cards, his eyes not giving away a single thing as he called bets. He proved to be as good as Killian at bluffing, and even better than Liam at reading a table. It was enough to make Killian weep, again, which resulted in LJ throwing his cards at him, calling him a softie.

Clearing his throat, Killian looked at the three of them. “We need a night out.”

“To do what?” Henry asked

“Get some drinks, play some cards, bet some money,” he replied with a wave of his hand.

“So basically the same thing we’re doing right here,” LJ retorted, clearly not impressed with him. Killian, though, knew by now it was a tactic his brother played. If you don’t get your hopes too high, the fall doesn’t hurt that much.

“Not exactly the same… we’re lacking a certain ambiance here.”

Henry gave them a wry grin. “I’m underage… I won’t be allowed anywhere.”

“There is so much you need to learn about this town, lads.” Killian turned around to his most loyal companion. “What do you say, Smee? Should we show these two what the City of Sin has to offer?”

/-/

He had to give it to both of them, Henry and LJ cleaned up well for their night out. Black slacks, button down shirts, nice shoes, the whole nine yards. Which was slightly funny considering that they ended up in one of the seediest joints Vegas had to offer. But the drinks were good, the tables were humming with activity, and no one even thought to card them with Killian by their side. They joined a poker game in one of the private rooms for a few hours before they took onto the blackjack tables. Henry held his own in both while also holding down his liquor. LJ, true to form, simply took everything by storm, including charming the brunette dealer who kept leaning closer to him with each new hand she dealt. When she announced the end of her shift and threw a coy glance at LJ, Killian knew the night was coming to an end.  At least for some of them.

Smee and Henry moved to cash in their winnings, while he and LJ finished their drinks.

“You know you’ve had a tail for the past few hours, don’t you?” LJ said as he placed his glass on the table.

“Aye, I’m aware.” Killian’s fingers moved along the rim of the glass, resisting the urge to look behind him. “She’s been shadowing us all night.”

“You shadow her, she shadows you… is this some kind of kinky foreplay I want to know nothing about?”

Killian laughed. “I wish.” He ran a hand through his hair, forcing himself to focus on the matter at hand. “Will this be a problem for you?”

LJ shrugged. “Nah, I don’t think so. She might be good with faces, but I’m good at being a no one. It’s going to come in handy this time. But I should take off before she makes it any closer. Perhaps seek refuge in a different bed for the time being.” His eyes glinted with mischief.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that’s a sacrifice you’re willing to bear, and I’m sure that lovely croupier would be more than happy to assist you.”

“I’ll get Henry and Smee to leave without coming back here, just in case. I figure you can run interference for us?”

Killian raised his glass at him. “I can do that. It’s me she’s after anyway.”

LJ squeezed his arm. “Killian, be careful, aye?” The concern and fondness in his words made Killian swallow.

“Aye, I will.”

He watched as LJ retreated, playing with the chips on the table and downing his drink. He ordered another as the new dealer showed up. As she set up the table, Killian counted out his heartbeats - one, two, three, four…

On five, Emma sat down beside him, cashing in a hundred dollar bill.

“I’d have thought you’d have privileges for playing in Gold’s casinos, Swan.”

“Fancy places are not my thing. And I could say the same to you. Nemo’s protegee should be able to access better places than this.”

He tilted his head, studying her profile. He wasn’t surprised by the words. It was only natural that she’d set to go after him, looking under every rock for every single piece of information she could gather on him.

There just the two of them on the table and the dealer opened up the bets. He placed a chip on the felt and waited for his cards. “What can I say, this place has its benefits…”

She didn’t pay that much attention to her cards. “What were you doing here tonight?”

Shifting a little, he doubled his bet. “Just passing the time.”

She passed on her bet and Killian winced. She should have doubled with the cards she’d been dealt. “Really? And who were your friends?”

A small smirk came to his lips. “Just some acquaintances I hadn’t had the chance to catch up with in a long time.”

The house went over. He won a good sum. Emma won the bare minimum.

“Funny you should say that, because when I looked into you, I couldn’t find a single associate. Or friend. Or acquaintance.”

Aye. He’d anticipated that, which is why he’d made sure Smee erased all traces of his known associates, along with his family and friends. Only Nemo remained, as it gave him a valid connection to be in the city. If push came to shove, he could claim that he was here to be with his friend.

He examined his cards and shrugged a shoulder. “What can I say, I’m a lone wolf.”

“Bullshit, Killian.” She raised her hand to double her bet and his hand moved of its own accord to stop her.

“The house has too many chances to take this one, let it pass.”

The way she cocked an eyebrow at him stirred something in him, but he reigned it in and slowly removed his hand. Emma stared down at her cards for a long moment before passing on raising her bet. He wouldn’t count that as a sign of anything, that way would only lead to heartache in the end. They continued to play in silence for a few hands, Killian earning a nice pile of chips while Emma fell behind. Resisting the urge to give her more pointers, Killian leaned back and drummed his fingers on the table.

“How's working for Gold?”

The corner of her lips lifted in the hint of a smile. “Please, as if you were interested in my work.”

“You wound me, Swan.”

“Drop the act. I know you’re up to something and I know you’re trying to weasel information out of me. But I’m not the girl that I was. I’m not falling for your charming lies this time.” She gathered her chips, leaving one behind for a tip, and walked away.

He shouldn’t go after her, he knew he shouldn’t. And yet the temptation was stronger than his will. Picking up his own chips and sliding them in his pocket, he flipped one to the dealer and followed Emma out.

He caught up with her almost at the exit and pulled her into a corner of the room. Resisting the urge to give in and press his body to hers, he focused instead on his words.

“You don't want to do this. You don’t want to be spying for Gold, Emma.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, especially since you’re the reason I need to find this type of employment.” While there was bitterness in her words, her eyes also seemed focused to his lips. Killian felt the same pull and he moved closer to her, his fingers itching to trace along the soft skin of her arms. Before he could, Emma shook her head and pressed her hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Your charm no longer works on me, Jones. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…”

“I’m not trying to fool you.” He sighed, resisting the urge to drag her out of here and bring her to the warehouse, to tell her everything. If this was his con alone, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But too much was a stake here, too many of his friends were depending on him. They were already on shaky ground considering Liam’s focus on Belle, Killian couldn't add more complications to the mix.

Still, he couldn’t leave without letting her know the type of man she was dealing with. “I know Gold. He’s dangerous. He doesn’t play fair.”

She snorted, tilting her head to the side as she glared at him. “And you do?”

The barb hurt and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I have a code, believe it or not.”

“I don’t need a code. I need answers,” she whispered and her confession shook them both. Emma’s eyes widened and she tried to move away from him, but Killian grabbed her elbow and pulled her to him.

“What is it that you're after?” His eyes bored into her, studying her face for any hint of what was really going on. “It can be just the job, not really. Gold pays well, but nothing that you cannot make elsewhere.”

“I don't have that many options left with my reputation ruined, remember?”

“Bullshit. You’ve been highly rewarded for your work.” He regretted the words as soon as he said them. He should learn to keep his own damn mouth shut.

“Keeping tabs on me, huh?”

He ignored her question, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only. It was clear that when he walked out of that room on her, there had been more than her job at stake.

“What was it? What did I cost you, Emma?”

Her face was a blank mask, her eyes avoiding his. “Wouldn't you like to know”

He reached out, caressing his thumb along her cheek. He kept his next words quiet, the desperate plea in them clear. “Please, love, tell me… I need to know.”

She gave him one last assessing look before she pulled away. “Goodbye, Killian.”

He took a breath and let her walk away. When she was finally out of his line of sight, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the wall, his heart beating frantically in his chest.

Whatever it was that Emma Swan was looking, whatever it was that made striking a deal with Gold worth it, he was going to find out.

And he was going to do everything he could to deliver it to her.

/-/

After another night spent with rum and restless dreams, Killian stood at the entrance of the warehouse, willing the pounding in his head to pass. He closed his eyes and sank against the exterior wall as he pressed a bottle of cold water against his temple.

The sound of car tires on gravel had him open one eye and face the glaring morning sunlight again. He turned just as a taxi pulled around the curve and LJ got out. His leather jacket was draped over one arm and he carried a cardboard tray with a few paper cups on his free hand. His hair damp and disheveled, shirt wrinkled, and that spring in his step could only mean one thing.

“You look like you had a good time,” Killian said as LJ handed him one of the cups. The welcome scent of steaming coffee filled his senses and Killian discarded the water bottle, taking a long, slow sip of the warm beverage. It tasted burnt and bitter, making him regret all his life choices - especially this one - while he pondered how his brother could even drink this.

LJ left the rest of the tray on a nearby bench and took a sip of his coffee, his wicked smile and glinting eyes a silent answer to Killian’s comment. “You still look to be in one piece…” He twitched one side of his mouth, making a show of checking for wounds. “I thought I was going to get a call in the middle of the night and have to go pick you up at the police station.”

“I would have never dared to interrupt your much needed getting laid-time, little brother. I would have called Smee.” Killian lifted one shoulder as he ventured one more sip of the coffee. Yup, still terrible. “Besides, she doesn’t have anything on me.”

“She has you by the balls, but please, by all means, keep deluding yourself.”

Killian chuckled, tossing the poor excuse for a coffee in the trash bin. “Next time, unless it’s done by a proper barista with freshly ground coffee beans and a espresso machine, bring me tea, LJ.”

“Like you wouldn’t find a fault in any poorly steeped tea too, brother.”

Touché. Killian placed two fingers over his heart, a part of him grateful that LJ had gotten to know that side of him.

“Come on,” LJ called as he picked up the tray and tilted his head towards the front door. “Henry's cocoa is getting cold and the poor lad needs his sugar to function properly.”

He smirked as he passed LJ and opened the door and held it for him. “You two seem to be getting along well.”

LJ shrugged. “He's cool and honestly, I feel a lot more comfortable around him than some of the others. He hasn't been in the business much…”

The meaning behind the words was clear. “So anything related to the Jones name doesn't mean much to him.”

LJ gave him a shy smile. “Yeah, that's a perk.”

Killian placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It's good to make friends, good friends, early in your career. People you can trust.” He looked at him and a wave of sympathy flooded him. He wanted to be that for his brother so desperately, as Liam had been for him. And yet, he understood more than anyone the need to shine for yourself, outside your family name. “You don't have to do everything alone.”

“I know… is that Smee for you?”

“Aye.”

Henry made his way towards them, his eyes almost rolling at the back of his head. “Finally, man.” He reached for the cup that LJ handed to him and took a long sip. His eyes closed, he sighed in contentment. “You even remember the cinnamon”.

Killian cocked an eyebrow, some memory poking at the back of his mind that he couldn’t place. “Cinnamon?”

LJ lifted a shoulder carelessly as he finished his coffee and tossed the cup in a nearby trash bin. “Yeah, the kid has weird taste.”

Henry gave him a challenging look. “Who are you calling weird, you nimble fingered freak?”

LJ gave him a cheesy smile, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Henry. “Careful with the whipped cream there, Henry.  We don't want you to put on weight and miss your acrobatic stunt mark over there. A lot is a stake here, maybe I should switch you to skim milk.”

Henry tossed his finished drink, puffing out his chest in his best in his best impression of a face-off. “Please, that'll never happen.” He opened his arms with an arrogant smile. “I'm too good for this.”

LJ grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and took out a bill. “Prove it, fly boy. I have a twenty that says you can’t make that jump.”

“You’re on.”

/-/

It took less than thirty minutes to set up the recreation of what would happen in the vault in a few days. Henry gave LJ a self-satisfied smile as he climbed into the cash cart.

Everyone gathered around and Killian figured it was as good a time as any to do a run-down of the operation. The rest of them might as well benefit from the bet Henry and LJ had going on.

“Alright, here’s the rundown. On the night of the fight, Poseidon’s package will arrive at the casino at 7:15. From there, LJ needs to work his magic, get the codes we need to access the elevator. At 7:30, Ariel and Eric will work their own magic and get the cart delivered, with Henry inside, into the vault. At that point we’re all in.” He paused and glanced around the room. “All-in. We can’t back up, we can’t screw up, we can’t delay. Once the vault is closed, we have thirty minutes before he suffocates.”

“Gee, you better not fuck it up, guys, or I swear I’ll haunt you from the underworld.” Henry waved as they closed the lid and Ariel and Eric rolled the cart into the vault replica.

From the corner of his eye, Killian watched as Liam entered the warehouse, his hair in the same state of dishevel as LJ’s had been, the same spring in his step. Bloody arse. Liam stood next to him and watched intently as the action unfolded.

“When the power goes down, it means that all entries to the vault and the elevator are on lock down for two minutes. And that is when we strike.”

The lights in the vault dimmed and Henry pushed the false top of the cart open, slowly removing himself from his confines. “It is going to feel like I spent days in there,” he said as he positioned himself on top of the cart.

“Alright, flyboy,” LJ teased, “we’ve left you in the middle of the room, far away from everything. There are sensors on the floor, and you need to get from where you are to the door without activating any of them. What are you going to do, hotshot? I have twenty saying you can’t make it.”

“I have ten saying you can!” Smee called.

“You can do it, Henry! I have faith in you!” Ariel cheered, clapping her hands in excitement.

Liam’s mouth twisted into a grimace, making him look nauseated. “We should all maintain some professionalism in here, this is a serious operation.”

“They are young, Liam.” Killian shrugged, pointing at Henry with a twenty to show his support. “Especially Henry and LJ. Let them live a little.” He turned to face his brother and gave him a once over from head to toe. “Speaking of living a little, did you have a nice night?”

The tips of Liam’s ears turned pink and he shuffled his feet. “It’s not what you think.”

Killian gritted his teeth. “Please Liam, don’t insult my intelligence.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As long as you promise me that you can handle it.”

“I can handle it,” Liam said quickly and Killian really wanted to believe his brother, but he wasn’t sure anymore.

Their conversation in a stale point, they both turned their attention at the scene in front of them. Henry closed his eyes, took a deep breath and positioned himself in a dead squat. From there he leapt, gracefully and hands first, from the cart to a ledge in one of the walls of the vault. Sitting there, he turned around and flipped off LJ. “Drinks on you tonight, loverboy.”

The rest of the crew clapped and boomed, with Nemo congratulating them all on a job well done.

“This is all well and good, but I’m sorry to say that we are fucked.”

Everyone turned to find Milah standing there, hair a mess, her blouse misbuttoned, and mascara running down her cheeks. There was decidedly no spring in her step and her face made it clear that whomever she picked up for the night hadn’t gotten the job done.

As if to confirm Killian’s assumption, she cocked an eyebrow. “And not in a good way.” She walked towards the nearest table, her high-heeled boots clicking against the tile floor and poured herself a drink. Tossing her head back, she finished off the drink in one go and poured herself another.

“Wow, Milah, slow down, it’s not even 10 am,” Killian cautioned, moving slowly towards her. He had a few choice barbs on the tip of his tongue, but though they had parted amicably and they were friendly with one another, there were certain lines a gentleman didn’t cross with someone he’d known in the biblical sense. This was one of those lines. He’d never made a comment on Milah’s hookups and he wasn’t going to start now, unless it meant problems for their operation. Taking one last step in her direction, he took the glass from her hand. “What are you talking about?”

She started to pace, speaking a mile a minute. “These idiots. It’s a universal truth that you can count on electricity companies to be the most inefficient people ever, but no… we had to hit the jackpot of the only capable ones! Who would have thought that they would do a fucking routine inspection and took notice of the fact that you can blow up their grid lines one by one like dominoes?”

There was silence as she continued to move back and forth across the room, until Nemo shot Smee a questioning look. “Do you understand what she’s talking about?”

“Some, it seems that we will be having troubles with the planned power blow up.”

“Exactly right, my friend,” Milah agreed, jabbing her finger at Smee, the open, loose sleeve of her chiffon blouse billowing around her elbow in added emphasis. “They figured out their weakness and now they are fixing it. Like I said, we’re fucked.”

Liam scrunched his face in confusion. “Wait, how do you know all of this?”

She spun and raised an eyebrow at Liam, leaving Killian feeling oddly grateful to not have that level of fury directed at him. “Where exactly do you think I was last night? Or any of the other nights?”

Liam’s cheeks flushed. “I just thought...”

She groaned in frustration. “Oh, for crying out loud! Just because you’re all terrible horn dogs doesn’t mean I am. I’ve been trailing some of the electricity engineers and technical operators. And yes, last night I actually had to sleep with one of them so I could hack into their work orders. Which is how I know about this entire thing.”

Every last person in the room had the grace to look sheepish, but none of them dared to speak up. It was Nemo who finally ventured to break the silence. “Milah, we-”

Milah waved him off. “Yeah, you can all apologize to me later, after we figure out what the hell we’re going to do if we still want to pull this job.”

Eric turned to look at Liam. “What about-”

But Ariel interrupted him, patting his hand and shaking her head. “Not enough time.”

And that was the crux of it. There was not enough time to do a bloody thing. Coming this close to the job, being able to taste it and feel it brush against their fingertips, only to have it ripped away at the very last minute. Killian wanted to smash the entire fake vault, anything to break the sense that it was standing there mocking him.

“Unless it’s a pinch.”

All eyes turned back to Milah, who was now perched over the edge of the table, nursing a third drink.

“A what now?” Henry asked.

Milah took a sip of her drink. “It’s like a heart attack for any broadband electrical circuitry.”

Killian glanced around the room, wondering if that made any bloody sense to anyone else. Given their blank expressions, he was going with nope. Sighing deeply, Milah looked at Smee. “Can you take this one? I’m knackered and I don’t have it in me.”

Smee smiled and cleared his throat. “A pinch is an electromagnetic pulse that can shut down any power source in its vicinity. Bombs do it, but it usually goes unnoticed because of the amount of destruction that usually follows.”

“So this pinch,” Nemo asked, taking charge of the scene in a way he only knew, “could take out the power of Vegas?” Milah nodded. “For how long?”

“About thirty seconds.”

Nemo’s face twisted. “That’ll do.”

“There. Is. Only. One. Little. Tiny. Problem,” Milah punctuated each word by swaying her glass back and forth before swallowing the remainder in one gulp. “There is only one pinch in the world big enough to do this, and it sure as shit ain’t here in Vegas.”

Cold sweat ran down Killian’s neck. “Please tell me it’s in a place that is currently going through a cold wave with snow storms and high winds.”

Milah gave him an apologetic smile. “California.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. “I’m not going.”

“Killian-” Liam started but Killian was not having it.

Pulling Liam to the side, he met his brother’s eyes. “Nope. Take LJ and Henry with you. Those two are going to be better at this than me. I’m going to stay here. Smee and I have to work on the final details of the plan anyway.” He left it unsaid that he was going to have Smee look into Emma’s past and figure out what it was she was looking for. But his brother didn’t need to know that. Not now. They were already working on two fronts, he didn’t need for anyone to know he was adding a third. He could handle this. Besides, it would be good for LJ and Liam to bond a little.

“You sure about LJ? He seems green,” Liam asked, his eyes shifting to where their brother was talking with Nemo and Henry.

If you spent more time talking with him than seducing your ex-wife, maybe you wouldn’t think that. Killian shook his head as he let the thought pass. “Liam, I trust him, and you should too. We brought him here to be part of the family, didn’t we? Then let him take part in it.”

“You’re right.” Liam stepped away and moved to gather Milah, LJ, Henry, Ariel and Eric, readying them to plan their next moves and set them into motion.

With their attention focused elsewhere, Killian knew it was the perfect time to put his own plan into motion. “Smee,” he called over his friend, “I need you to look into something for me.” He pulled his phone and showed Smee a picture of Emma and Gold.

Smee’s face turned pale and before he could say anything, Killian cut him off. “Aye, it’s her and she’s here working for Gold. She’s looking for something and I need to know what that is.”  He tried to hide the desperation in his voice but failed in the end, his voice cracking.

“I’ll look into it,” Smee vowed solemnly and Killian felt a lump form in his throat at his friend’s loyalty.

“Thank you, mate.”

Smee moved towards his data room, ready to work his magic and Killian turned around to assess the room. Liam and LJ were having a conversation and Killian left them, for once, to work their own relationship out. If nothing else came out of this, at least they could all be a family in the end. He spotted Henry at the side of the room, still assessing the vault and doing a slow-motion rehearsal of his moves.

“Henry! Listen, take care of yourself out there.” Killian placed his hand on Henry’s shoulder. “And take care of the others. You’ll be trapped between an obnoxious couple and a family feud, sorry about that. Just keep your head in the game. Someone other than Milah has to.”

Henry chuckled. “I will, Killian, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not a kid.”

Killian’s heart grew two sizes in his chest. “Yes, you are. You can lie to those goody two shoes that had you at the circus, and you can even lie to yourself if you want, but you can’t lie to me, boy.” He gave the lad a reassuring smile. “The reasons for your secrets are your own and I’ll respect that, but you’re a part of us now, just as much as LJ is. We take care of our own.”

From the way Henry swallowed and how his eyes locked with Killian’s for a brief minute, his want to believe read clearly on his face. But as quickly as it came, his face shifted back to neutral, his hard armor sliding back into place. “I’m tougher than I look. I won’t break.” Yet again Killian cursed every single foster parent that had beaten the sense of love and family out of this kid. But, he reminded himself, one thing at the time.

“I know.” He patted Henry’s cheek. “Still, be careful, lad.”

He watched Henry leave and decided he’d had enough emotions for the day. It wasn’t even noon. He needed a drink. He was pouring himself a healthy dose of rum when he heard Milah’s voice call from behind him.

“Killian Jones, the overprotective brother. I thought that was Liam’s role.”

He took a sip of his drink, enjoying the slide of the liquid fire down his throat. “It seems I’ve taken a page from his book.”

He passed the drink to her and she took a sip. “Do I get the “you’re family to me” speech too?”

Killian’s eyes softened, his muscles sore from too many nights with little sleep. “You know you are. You wouldn’t be here with us if we didn’t feel like family to you too.” He reached for her hand. “Take care of them, Milah. Don’t let them do anything foolish.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’ll try. But with two Joneses in the mix, I can’t make any promises.”

[crackinwise]

Can i rant and ask questions about the entire KH3 finale?

--Wut

--Okay, sorry, seriously: Kairi spent all this time training with a keyblade, right? And i remember her being really gung-ho and up for holding her own in KH2. So in this one... she just has to be rescued again over and over? Um. Yay, her?

--And Riku--right--Riku was just as much a friend to her as Sora and obsessed over helping her in KH1. Sora meanwhile spent every game going “RIKU!” in various outbursts of emotion. (Sora being happy to see Kairi yet falling to his knees the moment he sees Riku again will forever be a hilarious meme to me.) Yet Kairi shares a papou fruit with Sora and neither one is like “maybe i should share with Riku who’s like 20ft down the beach rn.” 

--I mean, at the end Sora wants to find Kairi (who i thought was turned to glass and shattered but apparently not?) and Riku just shrugs. Wut wut?

--This has nothing to do with anything but talking about Riku reminds me of Mickey, whose VA for this was somehow fine in Epic Mickey but horribly off pitch here i cringed so much. I miss you, Wayne Allwine.

--Alright, new topic: Lea is really weak. No, sorry, actual topic: Why does he suddenly care so much about Saix? Axel did not give two shits. The whole Org could burn in a fire for all he cared. Lea apparently was friends with him enough to cry over him?? News to us!

--Time Out to say i really just Do Not Care about everyone getting keyblades. Lea sucks at it anyway and his is a godawful design. Everything from the coat to the fire and chakram say “Axel” as if everything before hasn’t told us the Person and the Nobody are different entities. But the only thing different is how lame this person is. I get it, Square, you’re banking on a fan fave and trying to have things both ways. But...

--Wasn’t it also told to us Nobodies can grow their own hearts? That’s how Roxas could get his own body there. Didn’t Axel grow a heart? So... He has to be stuck inside a dollar store version of himself? Ouch.

--Lea was also friends with Ventus? Enough that Saix implied Axel got tattoos so he wouldn’t have to cry over a lost friend (unless that was something else i misunderstood). And it’s implied his “got it memorized” catchphrase (which i am so sick of by now omg he never even said it this much in KH2 and Lea isn’t even HIM) came from thinking his good friends just would leave and forget about him. But Ventus doesn’t get tears? Or a hug? Okay.

--Roxas all of a sudden cares (yay, but also weird, and just as suddenly doesn’t gaf about Namine) and we get a reunion but it’s very....awkward. First of all the add-on convoluted clone-thing Xion is thrown in, but also everyone is crying like the voice actors AND animators know it’s forced and can’t bring themselves to take it seriously, then there’s a poorly animated 3-way-hug that’s more new-football-player-teammates-in-their-first-huddle than anything.

--No one pronounces Vanitas correctly and i want to scream every time. They say “vuhNEEtus” or something and nooooooo stoppppp

--Is it me or are “Empty Vessels” creepy as shit? Stop showing me beige manikins on the floor like a dead body.

--Okay, so wtf was it Larxene, Marluxia and Demyx were supposed to be doing different than the others? That cutscene with the meeting on natural rock structures in a desert? Did they just pad to talk about nothing??

--Off of that: WHY was Vexen talking to Demyx about sabotaging or backstabbing, then the only thing they did was bring a Vessel to Ienzo?! Who tf cared? No one cared! Every single one of Xehanort’s extra pubic hairs could have seen this in front of them and said whatevs.

--(Was i supposed to know who that plushie was in Final World? Ventus did?)

--Did they forget to explain why 1)Sora got a mental cutscene of the words “Do you seek our liege?” when he talked about Roxas in Twilight Town, and 2)Haynor has X’s all over him and a Nobody protected him? Anyone?

--There’s so many KH chars Square either refuses to let go of or makes up for no reason that FF chars will never be seen again. After almost 20yrs of vague hope, that makes me one sad Turk whore. 

--Quick sidetrack to ask why Hiro would make both Baymax’s fighters when he could have made the returned first robot body a healthcare companion for some person in need like Tadashi intended? They’re not Big Hero 7, ya know?

--The Caribbean world for PotC3 was too long, too boring, and every ship handles worse than my dad’s old gigantic 80′s Oldsmobile. (potc only had one movie i can’t hear you lalalala)

--But Ansem already tried to open Kingdom Hearts in 1 and it just revealed a bunch of light (and an actual door). When did that change? Why is it now an actual giant heart emoji that will reset the world like we’re Wolf’s Rain?

--You’re telling me after all these years and all this work, Mark Hamill just shows up to tell Xehanort he’s acting like a dick and he stops? ...Fair.

--Did Yen Sid die in the sea of heartless or...? Cuz if he was the one training Kairi and Lea, that doesn’t surprise me.

--They’re gonna end it like that, huh? Xigbar was really some big bad, backseat time traveler, original mentor to the Keyblade Furries this whole time? Maleficent and Pete’s mission could have been introduced and ended in that one end cutscene instead of wasteful moments throughout the game? This black box contains “hope” but it’s NOT Pandora’s Box? istg if they continue this in another side portable or mobile game with more retcons and redundant additions...

--Secret Ending: GDI game within a game Inception 20 dreams deep full blown art school student wetdream bs

--TIL there will be both free and paid DLC. Because of course there will.

GAMEPLAY:

--”When i get hit i want to be stuck in a 5 second animation or have no option to escape/block the entire time i’m repeatedly pelted,” said no one ever.

--I appreciate the extra content and fight moves/attractions, but omg if i’m not in a fight why do the fighting options not go away? Do you know how many times i went to open a chest or finish a time sensitive mini-game only for the triangle button to make a fuckin carousel or gd Buzz Lightyear arcade ride pop up uselessly instead???? WHY. YOU HAD 14 YEARS TO CODE.

--So many useless cutscenes! Why! Especially right at the end fights when they lure me in, i swing a couple times (yay, gameplay) then immediately into another cutscene! Each fight! FINISH YOUR CUTSCENE IN ONE SHOT THEN LET ME BUTTONMASH YOUR GAME, SQUARE! YOU ALREADY MAKE MOVIES TOO!

[the-oeuvre]

ROAD TO HELL

WRITTEN UNDER PSEUDONYM ANN LEIGH. PREVIOUS CHAPTER: click here

ㅤ

Seoul with all its beauty, makes Raveena begin to be lulled whether consciously or not. She hasn’t been in Korea for three months, yet it doesn’t feel like it. The arrival that was never carefully planned made Raveena seem unable to schedule her return date as well. Raveena had purposefully ‘disappeared’ from everyone but Aldric, because her life had become desperate recently.

The issue isn’t just with her ex-lover; it’s with everything in her life, from Sem Atchley’s selfishness to minor details about her unrequited love story. Raveena had no idea whether she was loved or not. Since her departure to Korea, Gesang’s attitude has evolved. But when she asked him, the answer was still the same, he said he didn’t want Raveena to have any faith in him because Gesang couldn’t give her all she wanted. Raveena tries to appreciate it, despite her indecisiveness and fear of hurting his feelings if she looks for a person who can give Raveena a real commitment. Raveena, on the other hand, believes that she is entitled to happiness. Raveena’s wish was thwarted once more by the thought that she would come to regret not waiting for Gesang any longer. It also makes Raveena believe that whether or not Raveena is paired with Gesang is only a matter of fate. Her thoughts didn’t stop there; the voices in her head continued to generate doubts regarding the first argument. And that was almost how Raveena spent the remainder of the day.

Raveena's grumpiness was worsened by memories of her one-week stay with Gesang prior to her departure to Korea. The recurrence of these memories is not without reason. When Raveena was browsing her Instagram page, she came across the social media of a woman Gesang knew. The woman was hugging Gesang’s arm there, despite the fact that Gesang was clearly unresponsive with what she did at the moment. Even yet, it managed to sway her heart for a little period.

Raveena decides to take off all of her clothes and replace them with a short red satin dress without further thought. When the cold air of autumn arrived, the light brown coat hanging behind the door become the current priority for her hand to take and wear as a cover as well as a body warmer.

It is still possible to go outside, since it is not too late yet. Many inhabitants of Seoul continue to drive their personal autos alongside pedestrians and roadways. Certainly, in a nightclub with a reputation for attracting international patrons. Of course, the huge number of visitors there will make it easier for Raveena to communicate if it necessary.

The crowd is out in force and eager to party as Raveena enters the entry door. The beat reverberating off the walls. Conversation is loud and people are difficult to hear over the thundering music, and the dance floor is packed with sweaty bodies swaying to the beat. This is exactly how Raveena going to spend her rest of night even though she can see how chaotic it is by her naked eyes. As she walks further, the drinks are flowing across the tables just as fast as the bartenders can make them. Raveena grabs one too. Something that can make her feel the sweet and spicy taste as she gulps her drink. Spicy sherry, rich caramel, and a hint of dried fruit can all be detected by her taste receptors; kind of suitable as a starter for the gloomy night.

Raveena starts to writhing on the dance floor, as though tipsy by the alcohol quantity that had reached her body. Her body moves uncontrollably in response to the thumping sound emanating from a disc jockey on the stage. She makes contact with the individuals around her several times before, but this time the touch was different. Someone grabs her shoulders and drew his face close to her ears. Raveena’s instinct is to spin around and stare at the young man in front of her, who she could tell that he is tall and attractive enough.

“당신은 매력적으로 보입니다.”

(You look pretty.)

Raveena smiled in response to his compliment. “감사.”

“너 춤추 니?”

(Do you dance?)

A smirk appeared on her beautiful face. Raveena nodded as well, as if allowing the young man, she had just met to be her partner this time on the dance floor.

It is obvious what they were going to do tonight and how they begin to move their bodies into sensual gestures, which were first only to following the rhythm of the song. Raveena doesn’t hesitate to bring her back body close to the young man’s lower part. Meanwhile, despite merely groping Raveena’s tummy and waist, the young man had dared to grope her entire body. When Raveena watched another lady having fun with Gesang, she believed she had won this time since she had managed to redeem her pain. Raveena shifted her gaze back to the man in front of her and tugged at his collar. Screw it if anyone else notices, and fuck the worries that occupy her mind all day. Raveena will be concerned with proving that she, too, can have fun like people around her. Their faces got closer to each other at that point, until their lips finally met. There hasn’t been any further form of kiss, just two lips pressed together because it’s still hard to face their first touch from a stranger. Raveena, on the other hand, secretly took a photograph of herself kissing him at the time. Raveena’s face was clearly covered by the young man for half of the time. Although not very clear, but the photo captured by Raveena must have succeeded in making anyone who saw it thought that they were making out passionately.

“한잔 하자, 응?”

(Let’s get a drink, shall we?)

“Sure.”

Soon after, they return to the table where his companions had congregated. Some were drinking, while others were having affairs with other foreign women. She doesn’t know since her vision is quite fuzzy and she can’t focus like she used to. Raveena was obsessed with continuing the kiss that had been postponed earlier. Their kiss was even more passionate than previously. Peck after peck formed, eventually morphing into sucks and moans.

“조금만 기다려주세요.”

(Wait.)

“네.”

Raveena is still half-lulled by the event she had just witnessed when the young man whose name she doesn’t know yet got up from his seat and left her. Raveena got a chance to see how his cell phone was turning on before he let go of his lips, so it appears that he had to take an important call from someone. Raveena, to be honest, did not seem to care. Truthfully, she is more curious with her phone. What she’s doing right now is checking her cell phone for a new message from Gesang.

The time difference which is only two hours apart made Raveena sure that currently in Jakarta it is not that late for Gesang not to reply to the last message sent by Raveena. Raveena just laughs bitterly at the thought of how Gesang is currently making out in his room with the same woman earlier. Annoyed, she also sent a photo of her kiss earlier to Gesang without adding any caption on it. After that, Raveena re-locked her phone yet still grabbed it on her hand.

Not long after, her phone vibrated, indicating an incoming call. Without seeing who the caller was, Raveena picked it up. “See? I am much happier than you. I don’t fucking care anymore. What are you gonna say?”

The caller cleared his throat for a moment. If Raveena was in a fully conscious state right now, she would have recognized that all-too-familiar mumble voice.

“Where are you now, Vee?”

“Doesn’t matter, I am nowhere.”

“I know you’re in a nightclub, in Seoul right now. Just call me when you’re fully sober, will you?”

“I don’t want to talk about us, Mas. I’m done hurting by you.”

“I’m not even your ‘Mas’, Vee! I’m your father!”

“Such a liar.”

The call was disconnected unilaterally. With that, Raveena went back to spending the rest of the night with the stranger she had just met earlier on the dance floor.

  ㅤ ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ

  ㅤ ㅤ

Raveena woke the next day with a headache and was still dizzy. She was not sure how many drinks she had with Jaeseop — the real name of the man Raveena met on the dance floor — last night. Raveena had never pictured herself doing something like this with a random person. Although it is obvious that Jaeseop’s charm has enchanted Raveena since last night.

Her right foot was the first to tread on the wooden floor, followed by her left foot. Raveena gingerly picked up her red satin dress from the floor so as not to wake up Jaeseop, who was still fast asleep after expending a lot of energy the night before. Raveena covered her naked body with the dress she wore in front of her breast while grabbing for her phone near the table and heading into the bathroom to clean herself.

“Shit. Ramai sekali.”

Raveena was the one who first read Sem Atchley’s message. Raveena had no idea to recall of what had occurred the night before.

ㅤ ㅤ iMessage : Dad.

ㅤ ㅤ ᠂  Call me when you are fully sober later.

ㅤ ㅤ ᠂  I’m not your ‘Mas’.

ㅤ ㅤ ᠂  Don’t make any mess there.

Raveena gulped her saliva as a reflex. Her heart began to race as her brain processed the events that had occurred while she was not fully awake. Raveena hurriedly checked the call history to make sure her fears were unfounded.

“Shit! I thought it was dream.”

Raveena hastily put the cell phone on her right ear until the ringing tone that sounded very monotonous and boring was replaced by Sem Atchley’s low voice.

“Are you fully sober now?” 

“Uh, yes. What happened?” 

“Never mind. Just answer me, when will you go home?” 

“Me? I don’t know?” 

“Do you have any unfinished business there?” 

“Not really, Dad. Why? Though I came here to keep my mind stay sane.” 

“I am sorry for what happened on you. It was your mother’s idea to ask Ansel be in a relationship with you. I hope you don’t hurt too much.” 

“Wait. Mom’s what?” 

“Long story, Raveena. I will tell you the whole story when you come home. Though I want you to know that I won’t ever abandoned you and Gavin.” 

“Make sure you promise me nothing but the truth, Dad.” 

 Though as soon as she heard an okay from him, she disconnected the call. Raveena let out a heavy sigh afterwards.  Her hand brushed her hair back so that it no longer covered part of her face as she looked down while staring at the her phone, opening one by one incoming messages other than messages from his father. Finally. One familiar name. One name that became the biggest reason why Raveena ended up in a hotel bed with a stranger she had just met last night.  One name that made her heart beat wildly. Nervous, to be exact.

ㅤ

NEXT CHAPTER: click here

[theastrophilearchitect]

Every book on my TBR.

So. Every single book on my TBR (to-be-read). It’s not as dramatically long as most you’ll see - but then most BookTubers and Bookstagrammers are basically book hoarders. I started properly reading about three and a half years ago, August of 2017, and, at the time, I definitely wanted to eventually build a book collection so big I could line an entire wall with custom bookshelves, fill those bookshelves with my sixteen copies of every one of my favourite books and still have stacks and stacks either side of my desk. Then I came to the realisation than that’s insane. Books are expensive. So are bookshelves. And no-one wants to have to pack up boxes and boxes of books and set up new shelves when you move. So, now, I try to get most of my books from the library or BorrowBox, which always has a better selection, or I buy the eBook - it’s usually cheaper and means I don’t end up with a physical object to carry from place to place, all in my phone (though I usually read eBooks on my iPad).

Anyway, I have only about 30 books on my Goodreads want-to-read, 8 of which are on my physical TBR, which is what I’m going over today.

The Hidden Oracle by Rick Riordan

This is the first book in Rick Riordan’s third Percy Jackson (I guess?) series, The Trials of Apollo. I don’t know too much about what this book’s about, and I’m going to keep it that way - I loved Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and I loved Heroes of Olympus, so I’m not really concerned. I do know, however, that the god Apollo gets put into the body of a demigod named Lester (I thought as I was writing this that Lester was just the name he took as a mortal, but now I’m worrying that maybe Lester is a demigod whose body Apollo gets put into, which would be weird, but we’ll see) and its main characters are the lovely Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, and Will Solace, son of Apollo.

I can’t wait to get to this, but I did just finish Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, so I’m pacing myself. I don’t want to burn out on Riordan.

Evenfall by Gaja J Kos & Boris Kos

Honestly, the description for this book is quite vague. Nope, incredibly vague. I could’ve sworn it wasn’t this vague when I put it on my TBR. I’m not sure how to summarise it, so here’s the Goodreads description:

A monster does not deserve the intimacy of a name As if waking up in an unfamiliar world isn’t enough of a surprise, Ember gains a new title to her name. Saviour. Hunted by the Crescent Prince and his lethal shadows, she accepts a young Mage’s help to navigate the land of blood magic and its many illusions. But where Ada sees the good in her power, Ember discovers something else. An icy darkness, designed to take lives, not save them. The only thing worse than not being able to rely on her senses—or the reality she had once believed to be true—is knowing that she cannot trust her heart. Especially as it seems to draw her to the one person in whose hands she can never fall… Will Ember escape the thrall of darkness or will she reign in it?

This is currently the oldest book on my TBR, which, were I anyone else, could mean it’s been on my TBR for literal years, which it technically has been, but only two.

12/02/2021 Note: I started reading this book on the 11th, and just couldn’t get into it. It felt like the world had just spawned into existence when Ember arrived in it. I tried to push myself to at least 50 pages, but I just couldn’t do it, so I DNF-ed it. Putting this note here because I wrote this post a while before it’s actually going up, and I don’t want to include a DNF in my wrap-up.

The Diviners by Libba Bray

I own this book in a really uncommon cover; I got it on amazon a couple years ago, and this just happened to be the one available at the time. Irrelevant. This is one of those books everyone has read, and I’m looking forward to eventually getting into it.

This book is set in a paranormal 1926 New York City, and a girl named Evie O’Neill has to live with her occult-obsessed uncle. When a girl turns up dead with some kind of cryptic branding, Evie’s uncle is called to the scene and she realises her power could help catch the murderer. That’s as simply as it can be put, but I get the impression there’s a lot more to this book, and despite the fact I’ve been desperate to read this book since I heard of it, I somehow still haven’t read it.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

I love Leigh Bardugo. In truth, I didn’t particularly enjoy the Grisha trilogy, but I loved both Six of Crows and King of Scars, and am currently rereading Crooked Kingdom on audiobook. This is her first take at an adult book, and follows Alex Stern, the only survivor of an unsolved multiple homicide who was offered a place at Yale by a mysterious benefactor, with the catch of monitoring the university’s secret societies, whose occult activities turn out to be more sinister than she could have expected.

This is a book that went onto my TBR immediately after I heard about it, and I’ve been waiting to read it for the last year and a half.

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson

I tried to read Sanderson’s Mistborn trilogy a couple years ago, and failed to get into it, partly because it didn’t interest me that much, but I love the idea of Skyward, and it’s gone down so well in the book community.

It’s set in a future where the human race is on the verge of extinction, trapped on a planet constantly attacked by alien warriors. Spensa, a teenage girl stuck on the planet, wants to be a pilot, but it seems far-off. Then, she finds the wreckage of a ship that appears to have a soul, and she must figure out how to repair it, and persuade it to help her navigate flight school. Again, I get the impression there’s much more to this story, especially since it’s planned to be part of a four-book series.

Catwoman: Soulstealer by Sarah J Maas

Honestly, the reason I bought this book was that I had a £10 reward on my Waterstones card, and I didn’t, at the time, have any books on my Goodreads want-to-read I hadn’t already bought, so, having recently become interested in the Avengers movies, I figured, why not? (Even though this is DC, not marvel, but not the point.) 

This is book 3 in the DC Icons companion series, where every book is by a different author - I’m also panning to read Wonderwoman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo, and probably some of the others in the series, but for now, this is the one I own.

Selina Kyle returns to Gotham City under a new alias, and, with Batman off on a mission, only Batwing is left to defend the city from notorious criminals. Meanwhile, Batwing, trying to prove himself, targets Selina under her alias, who has teamed up with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

This is the only regular, probably-sane contemporary novel on my TBR - I tend to lean towards escapism, but this caught my interest.

This follows Eliza Mirk, who, online, is LadyConstellation, anonymous creator of popular webcomic Monstrous Sea. She’s your typical outcast, and isn’t interested in trying to live in the real world. Wallace Warland, the comic’s biggest fanfiction writer then transfers to Eliza’s school, and, believing her to be a fan, begins to draw her out of shell, until her secret is revealed.

House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas

Let’s be honest, everyone just knows this book as Crescent City. This is Maas’s first proper-adult series - I say that because A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) is technically new adult, though it’s marketed as young adult. I loved both Throne of Glass and ACOTAR the first time I read them, and am honestly now more slightly apprehensive at how seriously Maas’s books take themselves - I also just finished listening to all the Throne of Glass audiobooks. Unlike her previous fantasy books, this is a sci-fi.

Bryce Quinlan finds herself investigating her friends’ deaths in an attempt to avenge them after they were taken from her by a demon. Hunt Athalar is a Fallen angel, enslaved by Archangels, forced to assassinate their enemies, when he’s offered a deal to assist Bryce in exchange for his freedom.

And that, is every book currently on my TBR.

(12/02/2021)

[cookinguptales]

please mind the author’s note.

Before you read any of this, please know that it’s really just a vent fic. I didn’t put a lot of effort into making the pacing, plot, or even the characterization that strong. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life and Osomatsu-san was annoying me on several levels. So I guess I just tried to work some stuff out and ended up with sixteen thousand words of...whatever the hell this is. I went back and forth on even putting it in the tag, but I figure if y’all are well warned, you can make your own decisions.

Anyway, here’s a largely unedited fic about Chibita learning the joys of promiscuity and Karamatsu trying to adapt himself to the situation. It is...filthy. So uh. Go in warned.

It started, like most of Karamatsu's bad ideas did, with unexpected knowledge and an unwise amount of alcohol.

"We virgins have to stick together," Osomatsu was saying, swaying slightly in his seat in front of Chibita's cart. "It's so--solimarity."

"Eh?" Chibita asked. He stopped wiping down the counter in front of him. "Don't lump me in with you losers, idjit. I never said I was a virgin."

They all stopped for a second, squinting at Chibita in a wholly unattractive way. Karamatsu was experiencing the deeply unpleasant sensation of being frozen in freefall, all his muscles tensing up, his veins flowing quick with ice water, but the world just kept moving all around him. Dizzying. Wrong.

"But you don't have a girlfriend," Choromatsu said slowly.

Chibita shrugged, a little bit self-conscious. "Who needs a girlfriend to have sex? Idjit."

They blinked, slow and confused and the slightest bit betrayed. 

"Oh no! I get it," Todomatsu said, sighing dramatically. "That's so sad, Chibita. You'll find someone someday! You don't need to pay hookers!"

"What the hell? You fucking idiot!" Chibita growled. "I'm not-- I'm not doing that! I'm just..." His face was bright red now, and he seemed to be groping around for the right words. "I'm just having some fun."

Karamatsu was still falling, falling, the ground nowhere in sight and yet half an inch from his toes. His mind was full of it, of Chibita having some fun, and his stomach clenched. He felt sick with it, with Chibita kissing girls and touching girls and smiling at them as he let them into his apartment. Their old apartment. Fuck.

"Isn't that kind of bad, though?" Choromatsu asked. "Maybe you shouldn't hang out with girls like that, Chibita."

Ichimatsu scoffed. "Like you'd say no if 'a girl like that' asked you, Fappymatsu..." he muttered, and Jyushimatsu snickered beside him.

"Yeah, Fappymatsu. What decade are you in, anyway?" Osomatsu asked, nudging him a little too hard, a little too drunkenly, to be quite companionable.

"I'm just saying," Choromatsu started to protest, but then Chibita cut him off.

"I didn't say they were girls, idjit." He was standing ramrod straight now, his back tense and his shoulders set back. He looked ready to fight. Ready to run. Ready to take a goddamn beating.

A moment. Then, "What the fuck?" Osomatsu sputtered amongst five loud voices.

Meanwhile, Karamatsu, mouth hanging open and tongue stilled into silence, had hit the fucking ground.

It wasn't like Karamatsu had never thought about it before. Their time living under the same roof had been brief but utterly unforgettable. He'd caught glimpses of strong, thick shoulders as Chibita undressed, and he'd looked away before he could be caught staring. Once you got past the babyface and the oden obsession, Chibita was a pretty good-looking guy. He was strong all over, strong arms, strong hips, strong heart. He could see why men would want him.

Hell, it wasn't as if Karamatsu could point any fingers in that particular arena.

But somehow, Karamatsu had believed that he was the only one who could see all that. He'd thought that all that potential, all that maddening, seductive possibility, was hidden under too much weirdness. The height and the oden and the, ah, ebullient personality. He thought he'd been the only one to get close enough to Chibita to peel all that back and see the radiance beneath.

He was wrong. Clearly. And once he knew he was wrong, he could see the evidence everywhere he looked. Dark marks not quite hidden by Chibita's collar. Men sitting there at the cart, giving Chibita knowing looks that spoke to a shared history Karamatsu would never be part of. The whispers around town that Chibita was more than he appeared. Far more.

It was new. He knew that much. He remembered sitting there with Chibita in that tiny apartment of theirs, and he remembered Chibita confessing to him that he was scared he'd always be alone. That he didn't have enough space in his heart for anything but oden, that his strange looks would turn strangers off, that he was too rough, too straightforward, for a nice girl to give him a chance.

Well. Sometime between then and now, Chibita had clearly found his niche. Karamatsu started listening to the gossip that he'd never been privy to beforehand, the murmurs in seedier parts of town, the parts he'd always walked past quickly just because he could feel himself wanting to slow. It was recent, he'd learned. It'd happened while all of them were busy getting their fucking egos stroked in a fucking bizarro world that didn't quite feel real anymore.

Chibita had been left all alone for a long time, and he'd filled the void with other men's cocks. And goddamn it, he seemed happier than Karamatsu had ever seen him before. He wasn't some fallen woman, like the dramas or the light novels loved to talk about. He wasn't sad or mad or lonely. He wasn't some drug addict drifting between bad choices. He just looked happy. He had a confidence to his posture that he hadn't quite before all this, and a buoyancy, a fluidity to his movements that Karamatsu couldn't believe he'd never noticed.

Chibita was happy. He was far happier than Karamatsu had ever made him. Chibita was happy and he was well-fucked. It seemed like half the gay men in town had indulged in a one-night stand with him. Karamatsu even heard rumors that Hatabou of all people had gotten a taste of that ass, and he couldn't pretend that knowing that didn't make his stomach go cold and hot and resentful every time the two of them ran into each other.

But well-fucked didn't mean well-loved. As much as Karamatsu listened, he didn't hear a single story about Chibita actually dating one of his conquests. It wasn't like no one had ever tried; Chibita had apparently gotten quite the reputation in some circles by now. He was a heartbreaker. Great for one night of fun, but don't bother calling him in the morning. A lot of people had learned that the hard way.

Just like Chibita had told them, he was just "having some fun". And try as he might, Karamatsu couldn't quite reconcile that with the man he'd lived with not that long ago. Chibita had seemed stunningly frail then. Like all those big words and that strong spine were just covering up a heart that had been hurt again and again and again, but despite it all still managed to keep beating. Karamatsu had fallen in love with that heart, maybe.

But maybe Chibita had felt tired of feeling like that. Maybe he was tired of everyone in his life, Karamatsu included, leaving him behind. Maybe he was tired of being in a position to have his heart broken. He'd covered the cracks with oden and boisterousness, but now... Now perhaps he'd learned how to keep people at just the right arm's length. If he had a different man in his bed half the time, he'd never long for any of them. He wouldn't be lonely, but there was no risk of getting attached.

It was smart, in a way, but it made Karamatsu's heart ache. Hell. Maybe he was just overthinking it, anyway. Maybe Chibita had just finally realized how fucking beautiful he was and was now taking advantage of all the attention he could have had at any time. Who turned down sex, anyway?

Still. Still. Karamatsu couldn't help but connect the dots. The timelines. Couldn't help but notice that it had been when they'd gone away that Chibita had replaced them with someone, everyone else. It had been when he'd gone away. And what... Fuck it all, what would have happened if he'd stayed? What if Karamatsu hadn't let his head get turned by stupid baseball games or dumb aliens or fans that were here and gone in a flash? What if he'd let himself grow just like Chibita had always believed he could? What if he'd given up all those flights of fancy to be the constancy that Chibita seemed to crave?

He was being an idiot, maybe. Just as stupid as Chibita always said he was, fond and desperate and angry in turn. Maybe Chibita didn't feel anything towards him at all and letting him stay with him in the first place was just pity. Maybe Chibita had just been exercising his newfound sense of freedom when he'd started bringing guys back to his newly-vacated apartment.

But Karamatsu wasn't like Chibita. He didn't want a hundred guys to call his name. He just wanted one. He didn't care if it was a girl or a guy, really. He just wanted to find someone to love, who'd love him right back. Someone kind and caring, who didn't care that he was painful. Someone who'd want to spend the rest of their lives with him. And if he were really being honest with himself, that someone was Chibita. It'd been Chibita for a long, long time. Maybe even before he'd stayed with him.

He only had his own foolish self to blame. He hadn't seen it. He hadn't seen any of it. He'd known that Chibita was important to him. That Chibita had been like a lifeboat in the middle of the goddamn ocean, finally a person he could depend on. He'd known that spending time with Chibita made his heart quail and soar by the day, and he knew that leaving him had hurt in a bone-deep way he'd never fully been able to explain. He'd known in a faraway unknowable part of his mind that he was attracted to Chibita. Deeply.

But it wasn't until the word had been said out loud that everything finally came crashing into clarity. Bisexual. Chibita was bisexual, and so was he. And Karamatsu had figured it out too goddamn late.

Or maybe he hadn't.

"Jeez, why d'you keep asking so many questions about Chibita, kid?" a guy asked him one night. The man was tall and dark and handsome, ash glowing in the darkness as he smoked. He was exactly the kind of guy Karamatsu wanted to be, and Chibita had already fucked him. Once. "Do you want a go at him or something?"

Karamatsu had been tongue-tied and stumbling, stammering out some noncommittal answer that felt false on his lips. But the man's answer had stuck with him.

"It's not a big deal. Just stop by his cart some night. He's a good kid, but he's not that picky."

Chibita had a lot of reputations, it seemed.

The problem was, it <i>was</i> a big deal. Karamatsu didn't just want some one-night stand with Chibita. He knew he'd never be satisfied with just one-and-done. It would be worse than never getting to touch him in the first place. Fucking him and knowing that Chibita just thought of him like some toy to keep him busy on a cold night... Just the thought of it made bile rise up hot in his throat.

But Chibita didn't want a boyfriend, it seemed. Not one man had managed to satisfy his sexual wanderlust in the past, and Karamatsu had no reason to think he'd be any different. Which hurt. Truthfully speaking, though, what did he have to offer that none of those other guys had? All he had was a patched and broken heart. All the pretty words in the world couldn't change that all those other men were bigger than him and stronger, more handsome and more talented. Every one of them was more experienced.

But maybe, some part of his stupid, stupid heart said. Maybe he could do it right. Maybe he could -- could do some research. Find out the best way to sweep a guy off his feet and reduce his brain to mush. Maybe he could train himself to be exactly what Chibita had never known he needed. Not... not with other men. Karamatsu didn't want to do -- that -- with anyone but Chibita. But somehow.

What was it Chibita had always told him? That all he needed was guts? Maybe that really could be enough. Maybe if Karamatsu just had the stomach for some hard, weird work and the heart to see it through, he could do it. He could seduce the consummate seducer and do it so well that Chibita never wanted anyone else.

It was a terrible idea, but Karamatsu had a lot of terrible ideas. And that was how he found himself with a brown paper bag full of all kinds of "research materials" and a heart aflame.

He'd do it. Bad idea or not. Impossibility or not. He'd fuck Chibita so damn good that he'd never look anywhere else again.

Three weeks later, he'd masturbated so much that he was almost fucking tired of it. Sexy research was harder than he'd expected -- no pun intended. 

It had started simple, almost gentle. A few well-placed google searches and he had the basic idea of what to expect. He read about lube and about prostate massage and the best way to work up to anal sex. Then, after imagining "Chibita" and "anal sex" in the same fucking sentence, he'd jacked himself off frantically. Twice. And then opened up "100 Tips For A Better Blow Job". And then he was right back to fucking his hand with a quiet desperation. He didn't know what was hotter, thinking about Chibita's mouth stretched tight around his cock, or the unknown mystery that would be Chibita heavy in his own.

Karamatsu pushed his fingers into his mouth as he fisted himself, wondering what it would feel like to suck Chibita off. After he'd come again, shaking now with the power of it, he'd hesitantly raised his other hand to his mouth. He wondered, gingerly sucking on his own messy fingers, if Chibita would taste the same way he did.

He'd gone more slowly after that. There was something about masturbating three times in two hours that taught a man caution. He started exploring the wonderful world of gay porn, and found himself attracted and repulsed in almost equal measure. It was hot. Holy fuck, it was hot. He found his eyes glued to the fucking screen, his hand going to palm his dick almost without thought, as he watched. They were so beautiful. So strong. So fucking hot.

But it was weird, too. False in a way he hadn't quite encountered with straight porn. Maybe it was because he had a more concrete fantasy in his mind as he watched, and he couldn't help but think that he didn't -- he didn't want to fuck Chibita like that. He wanted to hear Chibita moan like that, wanted to hear him scream, but he couldn't bear to think of fucking him like the men in these videos. Like he was anyone. Like he was meat.

He wanted to kiss Chibita, wanted to hold him tight for hours. He wanted to trail his lips down his neck, down his chest, wanted to trace patterns over his ribs as he learned their tempo better than his own. He wanted to make Chibita feel as beautiful as he was, wanted Chibita to feel how much he longed for him. How much he loved him. He wanted to be close, close, he wanted to be so close that Chibita wouldn't be able to tell where he stopped and Karamatsu began. He wanted to make Chibita feel good, make him feel great, wanted to blow his fucking mind. But he wanted to be there when he came down, too. Wanted to hold him as he shook. Wanted Chibita to know he'd be there every fucking day of the rest of their lives if Chibita would have him.

Karamatsu whimpered even as he came in his own hand, eyes fixed to the screen, and cursed himself for a fool. Why the hell couldn't he have realized he was this obsessed back when he actually had a chance? Why couldn't he be like all the other men Chibita wanted, men like the guys in these videos. Ones who just wanted a little fun. Maybe then coming down off the high of an orgasm attained wouldn't sting so much.

It just wasn't as fun anymore now that he knew he wanted something more. And hell, what kind of shitty world was he living in if jacking off wasn't fun anymore? Ugh. He was such an idiot.

He lay there at night now, feeling far away from his brothers. It was like a secret part of him had come awake and now he was someone new. Someone none of them knew. He was someone who finally knew what he wanted, and someone who knew there was a very strong possibility he would never get it. He finally had a goal, a real, concrete goal, and it felt utterly foreign to him. He wanted to be better. He wanted to be dependable and attractive and perfectly capable of taking care of a lover. He wanted to be what Chibita wanted. What he needed. He wanted to be the guy who Chibita came home to. And he'd do it right this time.

And hey, he thought to himself as he carefully worked himself down on a dildo he'd attached to their floor, maybe if this whole Chibita thing didn't work out, maybe he'd have a future making some of those dirty videos himself. He was certainly starting to like some of the solo ones he'd found. Beautiful men fucking themselves with toys, touching themselves with all the tenderness of a lover, moaning their bliss to a camera that absorbed every bit of it.

This part, this part was new. It was so fucking new. Even before, even when he was watching Chibita from the corners of his eyes and shuddering over the soft-hard lines of him, he'd never thought about doing this. But if he did manage to convince Chibita to give him a chance, he didn't know what Chibita would even want. Would he want to get fucked, slow and smooth and intimate? Or would he want to flip Karamatsu over on his futon and fuck him hard?

Karamatsu worked his hips as he slid down slow, tiny little movements that felt like the entire fucking world breathing around him, and he imagined Chibita's hands on his hips. Chibita's legs beneath his. Chibita's cock opening him up wide and vulnerable, making him feel things that he'd never even imagined.

Karamatsu's hips bucked as he brushed against a particularly sensitive spot, forcing the dildo up inside him to the fucking hilt, and Karamatsu imagined that, too. Chibita deep inside him, learning his body so well that he could hit that spot whenever he fucking felt like it, whenever he wanted to reduce his Karamatsu to a mewling fucking mess on the floor. He moaned low, as loud as he felt comfortable doing in a house that was never entirely empty. He could be as loud as he wanted in Chibita's apartment. If his walls weren't thick enough, then his neighbors had to be used to it by now. He could feel this, all this, with his face buried in Chibita's pillows or squashed against the tatami mats or even maybe breathing against Chibita's shoulder if he was lucky enough to fuck him face-to-face. He could feel Chibita inside him, deep as anything, and he could moan as loud as he goddamn wanted, could beg and yell and plead with Chibita to never, ever stop.

He fucked himself, imagining it. He bounced himself with increasing desperation, imagining Chibita above him, below him, inside him. Imagining Chibita panting in his ear as he lost control and fucked Karamatsu the way he'd -- the way he never had with anyone else, better somehow, newer. Because somehow Karamatsu would be better, would be new, and Chibita wouldn't be able to resist him. They'd fuck like this, just like this, and in a million other ways. It wouldn't be one night, it'd be a thousand, and Chibita would be addicted to him. Chibita would never stray again, would stop roaming the night searching for what only Karamatsu could give him, would just keep fucking him and getting fucked by him and touching him just like a lover and --

Karamatsu came hard, dick untouched, as he imagined Chibita coming inside him. Then he sat there for a few long minutes, panting heavily, feeling too full and too cold and all alone. He pulled himself off of the toy and flopped onto the floor of their room, telling himself that the stinging at the corners of his eyes was just sweat and not the ever-increasing certainty that his fantasies were just that: mad, improbable fantasies.

His breathing didn't slow, just hitched in his throat. He really was such a fucking idiot.

Guts. Guts. His guts felt like they were fucking curdling inside him, but he tried to hold on tight to the desperate, foolish optimism that had gotten him into this mess. It was worse, somehow, to train for an Olympic event that might never come. It hurt to take concrete steps towards an insane goal. It hadn't been nearly this bad when he was just quietly pining. But all this, the practice and the pleasure and the fucked-out exhaustion that had dogged him for weeks, all this made it feel real. Made it seem dangerous.

And three weeks, three weeks wasn't nearly long enough. It wasn't enough to make him agile or experienced or seductive. Karamatsu was still so overwhelmed by all these new things that his hands shook every time he took his "research materials" from their hiding place. He probably would have needed years to attain the sex god status he'd need to seduce Chibita into a real relationship.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, the schedule was moved up a little bit.

He woke up one morning with a buzzing by his ear. His cell phone. He was drowsy until he wasn't, bleary-eyed until his eyes sharpened enough to see who had texted him.

Chibita.

'Can you come by the cart tonight?' it said, 'Want to talk to you.'

He stared at it, hoping his quickening breaths wouldn't wake his brothers, then buried his face in his pillow.

Later that day, after endlessly dithering over what super-cool-definitely-not-painful outfit to wear, Karamatsu found himself sallying up to Chibita's cart. There was another man there, but he looked about done, so Karamatsu just stood a little ways away and waited.

He watched the man critically as he finished his meal and paid. Was he one of Chibita's exes, or someone who was interested in becoming one? Or was he just some guy who felt like a plate of oden on the way home? He was certainly attractive enough, but his eyes weren't lingering on Chibita like Karamatsu's always had...

"Karamatsu," Chibita called even as the man walked off. "I can see you over there, idjit."

Karamatsu's fingers twitched ineffectually in his jacket pockets. He hadn't been trying to hide, exactly... But the idea of walking over now...

"Just come over already. I'll make you a plate."

Well, that was a good sign. At least Chibita wouldn't be feeding him if he were upset about something. Probably. Unless it was poisoned. Karamatsu crept towards the cart, feeling a sort of gnawing in his stomach as he did. The cart used to be a safe place for him, a place to relax and unwind. That was no longer the case.

Chibita was quiet for a few minutes as he assembled Karamatsu's food, his usual cheerful greeting missing. He looked thoughtful, maybe even a little conflicted. Then, "You've been weird lately, Karamatsu."

Karamatsu teeth clenched so hard that he almost bit his tongue, but he forced himself to open his mouth. "What do you mean?" he asked. Chibita couldn't know about the -- the practice. There was no way for him to know.

Chibita finished assembling the plate, but he didn't hand it over. He just held it in his hands like it was all that was keeping him together. "You've been asking about me."

Fuck. Karamatsu, who had been feeling pretty stupid for the past month or so, was now feeling extremely stupid. Why the hell hadn't he thought that anyone with a big enough mouth to talk to him wouldn't talk to Chibita, too? Why had he thought that his furtive inquiries -- not so much furtive as desperate, actually, upon reflection -- wouldn't get back to the source? "I..."

"You what?" Chibita snapped, and his knuckles went white around the plate he was holding. "Why are you fucking investigating who I'm having sex with?"

He sounded angry, but he also sounded -- fuck, he sounded scared. And something hovering at the edges of Karamatsu's thoughts finally sank in. How scary it had probably been to come out to the six of them. Karamatsu had never told Chibita that he thought that he was...that he was probably just like him. He hadn't told Chibita that he didn't care what kind of person Chibita wanted to have sex with, had just stumbled drunkenly away from the cart even as his brothers lost their damn minds. He'd been so wrapped up in his own thoughts. He'd been so wrapped up in his own pain. He hadn't even thought what that might look like to Chibita.

Karamatsu cleared his throat. "It's not... It's not like that..." he said, and hated how weak his voice sounded.

"Then what the hell is it? You were--" Chibita's voice caught in his throat, and Karamatsu could see now that he was shaking. "You were asking for names! You were fucking asking what I liked! Who the hell does that?"

It had been, Karamatsu realized with a bright flash of clarity, really fucking creepy. He'd been so caught up in his own illicit investigation that he hadn't even realized it. "I just..."

Chibita put the plate down on his own side of the cart, the ceramic a dull clatter against wood. Karamatsu could see him massage his temples. "You just what, Karamatsu? I'm allowed to have sex with whoever I want, and it's none of your fucking business," he said.

"Of course you can," Karamatsu said, the words dull and rote in his mouth. Chibita was a grown-ass man. It really wasn't any of his business, no matter how much he wished it were. "I just didn't know what to do."

For a moment, Chibita faltered. Then, "What the hell do you mean, idjit? You didn't have to do anything."

"I didn't know you anymore!" Karamatsu said, and then he shrank back from his own outburst. That had really been what it'd been, though, wasn't it? There were sides to Chibita, the Chibita that he'd fallen in love with, that were totally foreign to him. He'd just -- he'd just wanted to know him again. To feel like an intrinsic part of himself, the part that was Chibita, hadn't gone away forever. But then he'd learned the truth and he hadn't liked it.

"So this was... This was what, some kind of pervy research?" Chibita asked, and at least he didn't sound angry anymore. Stunned, maybe. But not angry.

"Yes," Karamatsu said. "No. I don't know. I just... I thought I knew you, but I didn't. I didn't know if you'd changed or if I was just wrong all along."

"Because what," Chibita asked, starting to sound a little bitter. "I wasn't normal like you thought I was?"

"No!" Karamatsu said. As old as he was, jobless and sexless and utterly alone, Karamatsu was the abnormal one. "I just thought you wanted something different. You always said you wanted a girlfriend--"

Chibita scoffed a little from across the counter.

"And even if you got a boyfriend," Karamatsu pressed on, "I thought you'd just... You'd want it to be love." He was quiet for a moment, voice thick in his throat. "You always said you wanted love."

Chibita stared at him, and Karamatsu could see a wound in there. There was something hurt inside Chibita, but Karamatsu could see that he was already covering it up as best he could. "I..." Chibita cleared his throat. "This has nothing to do with love. Idjit."

"Exactly," Karamatsu said, looking down at the counter. "That's... That's why I was so confused. I was surprised that you weren't... Straight... But it was all the, the one-night stands and the casual stuff that was weird. It was like I was seeing a whole new part of you and I wasn't sure if it was even new or not. Or if I... If I just didn't notice it."

Chibita didn't say anything for a long time. Then he picked up the plate of oden in front of him and handed it across the counter. It was cold now, Karamatsu was sure, but he took it all the same. "It was new," Chibita finally said, his voice too quiet. Karamatsu liked it so much better when he was excitable. "Everything in my life was changing, so I changed, too."

Karamatsu hesitated for a moment, then finally gave voice to the suspicion in the back of his mind. "Were you mad because we went away?" he asked.

Chibita shrugged, but it was a weak movement. "A little. Iyami went away, too. Everyone was gone and it was just me and -- I don't know, I thought I'd try something different. Nothing I'd done up to then had worked. None of the people I liked ever worked out. So I thought... I dunno, why not put love on the backburner and just have fun for a while? It was better than hurting all the time."

There was a dullness to his voice that Karamatu hated. And -- it had been stupid, hadn't it, to think that it was his leaving that caused all this? Stupid and arrogant. But he was a part of it, he was sure. They all had been. And this new Chibita, who wasn't any better or worse than the old one, this new Chibita was the product of their neglect.

Karamatsu looked at him, at this new Chibita who still wanted love but who maybe no longer hoped for it. Who'd found a new life for himself fucking his way through Tokyo and enjoying every minute of it. Who was finally letting himself let go a little bit and enjoy the freedom that Karamatsu had been treated to his entire life. Maybe Chibita deserved to play a little bit.

But, Karamatsu realized, the knowledge opening up to him like a late flower that had only just started to bloom, he did have something that none of Chibita's other partners had had. He loved him. Wholly and completely. And maybe Chibita didn't love him back. Maybe Chibita didn't love anyone anymore. But he could give Chibita at least one night that was different from the others. One night where instead of fucking, he could make love. Maybe that way, he could put a little bit of hope back into his eyes.

Karamatsu sat back on the bench and crossed his arms in front of him, a shield for the most terrifying battle he'd ever fought. Then he looked at Chibita over the tops of his sunglasses and said, "I think we should have sex."

Chibita honest-to-god flinched. "What? What the hell are you talking about, idjit?" he asked, and his voice wobbled.

"We should have sex," Karamatsu said again, this time a little more sure. "I promise I'll make it fun for you."

"The fuck? Did those assholes tell you I'd spread my legs for anyone or something?" Chibita asked. "I don't just fuck anyone who asks."

That wasn't what Karamatsu had heard, but who fucking cared what he'd heard? Tonight, all that mattered was him and Chibita. "I know," he said. "But just once? For old times' sake?"

Chibita was shaking again, and Karamatsu wasn't sure why. Was he still angry? It couldn't just be that he didn't fuck friends -- Karamatsu knew for a fact that wasn't true. "No! Why the hell would I want to have sex with some shitty NEET virgin, anyway? How would that be fun?" he asked.

"I practiced," Karamatsu said, the words out of his mouth before he could even think twice about them. "I promise. It'll be good. You can kick me out if it's not."

"You--" Chibita gaped at him. "What the hell do you mean, 'you practiced'?"

"I practiced," Karamatsu said, and pushed his sunglasses up on his nose to let his natural mysterious air help him out a little. "You'll see."

Chibita was just staring at him. His expression was utterly unreadable, but there was a crease between his eyebrows that looked unhappy. "Fine," he finally snapped. "If it'll get you off my back and you'll promise to stop asking around about me."

"Done," Karamatsu said, even as his stomach flopped around inside him.

Chibita sighed, sounding far more tired than he had any right to be so early in the day. "Come to my place around midnight," he said. "That'll give me time to finish the day and get everything put away."

"Okay," Karamatsu said, his voice a little hoarse in his dry throat. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

Chibita rubbed at his temple. "Now fuck off, okay? I'm gonna have real customers soon and I don't want you to scare them off."

Karamatsu just nodded, the implicit insult rolling right off his back.

Holy fucking shit. He was going to have sex with Chibita.

It felt weird, walking the familiar path to Chibita's apartment. He'd lived there too long, too short. Walking those same steps felt nostalgic in a way he had no right to. He could feel the night air tingling against recently-scrubbed skin, and he shivered. As soon as Chibita had dismissed him, he'd gone home, changed. Showered, changed again. Touched himself. Considered a third shower of the day. It was a good thing that midnight had come more quickly than he'd hoped, because his brothers were about ready to throw him out themselves.

When he finally reached Chibita's door, he just stood there for a moment. Waiting. Trying to psych himself up enough to knock. He'd felt almost like this once before, when he'd bowed low and begged Chibita to let him stay. He'd thought back then that it'd been the secret to straightening out his life, and who knew? Maybe it would have been, if he'd seen it through. Maybe he never would have had this sick, cold feeling rolling around in the pit of his stomach, and maybe he never would have felt so excited and so terrified to see Chibita all at once.

Or maybe his heart would have just broken a hell of a lot faster.

Karamatsu breathed in, breathed out, then knocked on the door. Chibita opened it before his hand was even back at his side, and jeez. Maybe Chibita was a little nervous, too.

He looked good, though, even if he was tense. He was soft and pink and warm, just out of the shower. Karamatsu had always used to sneak glances at him when he was like this. He'd always been irresistible. Karamatsu had always resisted him anyway, and look where that had gotten them?

He meant to say something cool. He meant to say something that would make Chibita's heart swoon. Something about the way the moon looked reflected in Chibita's dark eyes. The way his rosy skin was enough to make the glaciers melt. "Hi," he said instead.

Chibita's eyebrows quirked upwards. "Hi," he said, then opened up the door. "Are you coming in or what? It's cold out here."

He probably was cold. He was only wearing a loose t-shirt and some tight shorts and Karamatsu wanted to strip him out of them so badly he could barely breathe. But that would come in time. For now, he just followed Chibita inside and toed off his shoes.

"You remember where to hang up your jacket, right?" Chibita asked, glancing back at him over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Karamatsu said. He felt a little lump in his throat when he realized that the hook Chibita always left for him was still empty. "Thanks."

And then it was just the two of them in Chibita's cramped apartment, too close for comfort and too far away for distraction. Karamatsu could hear the ticking of a clock somewhere, but it was all but drowned out by the sound of his own uneven breaths. His hands hung awkwardly at his sides and -- god, how did people do this, anyway? This wasn't like the movies, where two people stumbled in the door, barely able to keep their hands off each other. This was just him and Chibita. Staring at each other.

Finally, Chibita sighed. "You never make things easy, do you?" he muttered, maybe to himself more than Karamatsu, and then he'd taken a step in, too fast for Karamatsu to track, had gone up on his toes so he could--

Karamatsu's breath caught in his throat as Chibita's lips met his. It was -- fuck, it was better than he thought it'd be. Even awkward like this, Chibita's mouth was so warm, so soft. Karamatsu could smell the gentle scent that had enveloped him every night, making him feel safe. He'd remembered it on the edges of daydreams, and the dreams at night that he could never quite retain.

This, this. This is what he'd wanted for so fucking long. He felt too aware of his hands, but simultaneously felt like he had absolutely no control over them himself as he reached out to draw Chibita in close. They'd been half-formed desires in his mind a year ago, but now it was all he could think about. Kissing Chibita. Touching him. Being with him in every sense of the word.

He tilted his head without even meaning to, crouching down a little so Chibita wouldn't need to strain. He didn't know what he was doing, but his body didn't seem to need the coaching. It was kind of a bad kiss, probably, to someone like Chibita who did shit like this almost every night. But to Karamatsu, it was nothing short of life-changing. God, he wanted him so badly.

A few moments later, a thousand, Chibita pulled back to settle back on his heels. His mouth was very wet and very red, and his eyes had gone very, very wide. "I--" His voice came out a little too hoarse, a little too unmanageable, so he cleared it, started again. "I already laid the futon out because I knew you were coming. You can... Sit, I guess. If you want."

And there it was, there on the floor. It wasn't the same one Chibita had used back when they used to live together. It was a lot bigger, and Karamatsu tried not to wince at the implication. Chibita had probably found the need to upgrade at some point. Karamatsu had not been the person to make him feel that need.

He swallowed hard and sat down on the damn futon. After a moment more, Chibita dropped down next to him. The movement was practiced, but didn't look easy. As if Chibita had done this song and dance before, knew all the steps, but was inexplicably off the beat. He didn't look particularly happy, and Karamatsu's stomach sank.

"We don't... We don't have to do this," he said haltingly, hating the words even as they came out of his mouth. "I won't bother you again if you don't want me to." He wanted to. He wanted to so fucking badly. But he also wanted Chibita to look starstruck when he kissed him. He wanted Chibita to look at him the way Karamatsu felt, like the moon and stars had moved just a little bit to the left the minute they'd touched. He didn't want him to look so anxious. So fucking unenthused about the proceedings.

"No," Chibita said. He shifted a little, right into Karamatsu's personal space. "Don't go." He said it imperiously, the way he said all things, with a confidence that Karamatsu had only ever worn like an ill-fitting coat. But there was a note to his voice that shook, just a little, and Karamatsu could hear the order for what it was. A plea.

Karamatsu looked at him, looked into those dark eyes of his, and wondered just what the hell he was thinking. Chibita had never been nearly this hard to read in the past. "Okay," he said softly, and then he kissed him.

It was a little easier this time, there on the floor. The height difference wasn't nearly so pronounced, and their legs tangled up together as Chibita leaned in close. Karamatsu reached out for him, slid trembling fingers down over his back, his waist, his hips. Tentatively, he let one hand curl around his ass, and he pulled him in.

He'd half-expected Chibita to pull away, to tell him he was a pervert who was going too damn fast, but instead he came willingly. He even pushed Karamatsu back a little bit so it was easier for him to crawl into his lap. He sat there, straddling his legs and cradling his head in his hands, and he licked at his lips.

It was a request, Karamatsu knew, and he felt dizzy with it. Fuck. How the hell did people have sex so easily when just kissing felt this overwhelming? He'd never done it before, but he felt like he'd already been doing it for hours, for years. He knew he couldn't be doing it quite right, quite gracefully, but he felt like it was as natural as breathing. Maybe it was just because it was Chibita. Maybe it would never feel so right with anyone else.

Maybe he was just a hopeless romantic.

But the sensation of it, the waves of pleasure, shocking in their intensity, only served to remind him of his goal. This wasn't just sex. It couldn't be. Karamatsu wasn't sure he'd be able to manage that if he tried. This was making love. He had to -- he somehow had to communicate to Chibita the depths of his feelings. He might never have another chance. To be known. To give Chibita exactly the kind of tenderness he deserved.

He stroked blindly at whatever skin was available, Chibita's thighs, his legs, that little strip of skin between shirt and shorts that was exposed when he sat up like that. He was tender, he thought. Loving, he hoped. And then, as Chibita tried again, licked at the seam of his lips once more, Karamatsu opened his mouth.

Chibita sighed into his mouth, pleased, and started to explore. And god, fuck, if Karamatsu had thought it was intense before... The noise he made was a muffled moan, and Chibita just drank it in. Chibita's tongue was talented and sure, and his fingers were gentle on Karamatsu's jaw, his neck, as he stroked soft skin and manhandled him into a more comfortable position for them both.

Chibita drew back for a moment, just half a second, so his could press a soft kiss to Karamatsu's lax lips and whisper, "Come on, sweetheart. Kiss me like you mean it."

And hell, how the fuck was Karamatsu supposed to ignore a request like that? He let his own tongue sneak out, tentative at first, then eager. The exploration was an adventure, and the moments their tongues touched the first time, curling against each other soft and sweet, was a fucking revelation. He was lost in it, lost, and he clutched at Chibita like he was a lifeline. Any other time, he might have been embarrassed to be so obviously needy, to be making those sounds like a man possessed, but now, who cared? Who gave a flying fuck if Chibita knew how much he affected him? Let him know. Maybe it would make him feel good. Powerful. Loved.

He was so wrapped up in the kisses, all that slow, slick, sinuous movement, that he was utterly unprepared for Chibita's next move. Chibita's hips shifted in his lap, just fucking writhed against him, and Karamatsu suddenly realized he was really fucking hard. He could feel Chibita's cock through the thin fabric, only just starting to fill, but his own? Fuck. Fuck. He was so fucking hard.

The noise he made as Chibita pressed their hips together was almost pained in its pleasure, and all that did was encourage him to do it again. Chibita was kissing him open and sloppy now, was stealing his breath away almost faster than he could make it, and it felt so fucking good. All of Karamatsu's carefully-laid plans, all his thoughts of slow kisses and loving caresses, were quickly fizzling in his lust-hazed mind. It was too much. It was everything. Chibita was all he could have ever hoped for and more. No amount of reading or watching or imagining could even come close to the real thing. He felt so good. Tasted so good. He was so damn perfect, the way he moved like that, and Karamatsu felt himself steadily losing ground, losing his footing, losing his goddamn mind.

It was so good, so fucking--

And then it stopped. Everything stopped. The whole fucking world stopped as white-hot pleasure roared through him, taking what little sense he had left and throwing it to the wind. He'd never felt anything so intense in his entire life -- at least until he came back to himself and realized what the hell had just happened.

Even an orgasm like that couldn't stand up to the sheer fucking embarrassment that fell over him like a ten-ton weight.

Chibita stared at him, a little shocked, a little uncertain. "Did you just..."

He let the words hang there between them, even as Karamatsu breathed hard and felt himself burn crimson-hot with shame. He had. He fucking had. He'd had one goddamn chance with Chibita and he'd ended it in his own fucking pants.

"I--" Karamatsu swallowed, hard, and tried again. "I think I need to go to the bathroom."

Chibita was still just staring at him, gaping like a fish, that beautiful kiss-bitten mouth of his opening and closing in something like shock. Then he blinked once, twice, then shook his head to clear it. "I. Sure. Back-- Fuck, you know where it is."

And Karamatsu did. Chibita eased off of him, all fumbles and awkwardness, and then Karamatsu was up, was moving, was making a beeline to the bathroom.

And then he just stood there, staring at the tile and wishing he'd never even been born. He could feel the mess in his pants starting to cool into something sticky, something disgusting, and he wondered how the hell he was even going to get home. He'd been too stupid to think to bring a spare set of clothes.

He started to breathe a little faster, a little more than was strictly comfortable. He hadn't even brought clothes. Maybe he'd known, deep in his heart, that Chibita was never going to let him spend the night. He was never going to pull this stupid, insane plan off. He never could have made Chibita feel the way he'd wanted him to feel. Fuck. He'd never even gotten his fucking clothes off.

Karamatsu breathed in and in and in, feeling himself starting to go lightheaded with it, and he could feel tears burning at the corners of his eyes. What a failure. What a goddamn fucking failure he was. He'd always been a failure. He'd failed in everything he'd ever tried at. He'd failed at growing up. At getting a job. At being a real fucking human being. He'd failed to notice the best thing he'd ever had in his entire life, and he'd failed to make good use of the second chance he'd somehow, somehow been given.

No wonder Chibita didn't want him. He probably never had and never would. Who would want a shitty NEET virgin like him, anyway?

Karamatsu tried to take off his pants so he could deal with the worst of it, clean up the mess on the outside even if he was clearly powerless to deal with what lurked within, but his fingers were shaking too hard for him to even get through his fly. Finally, he just slumped down to the ground, back to the door and shaking. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe.

A knock at the door, somewhere behind his head. "Karamatsu?" The voice was soft, hesitant. Like Chibita was talking to some kind of wild animal. "Are you okay?"

Karamatsu opened his mouth and tried to say something flippant, something to make Chibita stop worrying and leave him alone, but he couldn't get the words out through his throat. There was something blocked off there, something that wouldn't let words or air or even coherent thought through. He thought it was shrapnel, maybe, left there as the remains of his shattered heart.

"Karamatsu, please. Answer me. It's not a big deal, y'know?"

Of course it was. Of course it was. Karamatsu laid his head on his knees and tried to breathe. He hadn't been able to satisfy Chibita, not in the slightest. He never had. What a fucking idiot he was, to think he might be the one who'd hook Chibita for good. All he'd ever done was disappoint him.

"Karamatsu?"

All at once, to Karamatsu's great shame, he found his breath. It heaved up out of him, past the wrecked remains of his heart, past the lump in his throat, in one great, wracking sob. And then there was another sob. Another. He was crying like a fucking baby on the floor of Chibita's bathroom, like the pathetic asshole he was. Did he really think he'd be able to make Chibita love a pitiful wretch like him? Did he really think there'd ever be anyone who wanted him?

Such an idiot. He really was such an idiot.

The crying was loud, embarrassingly loud, and he knew Chibita had to be able to hear it. That was the most humiliating thing of all, especially when he heard Chibita's shuddering breath. He'd hurt him. He'd just fucking hurt him again. He'd ruined Chibita's whole night with his pathetic attempts at lovemaking, and now he was going to have to deal with an embarrassing, painful mess of a man crying in his bathroom.

"I'm sorry," he gasped out, edged with another trembling sob.

Silence. A long, long silence. Then, "For what?"

"For this. For everything. For disappointing you again."

He didn't know if he could really hear Chibita breathing on the other side of the door, or if that was just his imagination running away with him again. And then, in a voice so small he could barely hear it, "Karamatsu, please open the door."

Maybe it was just because it sounded so tiny, so weak. Maybe even a little bit scared. Karamatsu wasn't sure what it was that made him reach up and unlock the door.

A soft click, and then the sturdy wall behind him was falling away as Chibita opened the door. He could hear Chibita's quick intake of breath, but he couldn't read it. Annoyed? Exasperated?

Chibita just stood there for a moment looking down at him, then Karamatsu felt him sit down right behind him, his knees bumping against Karamatsu's back. "I don't get it," he finally said.

Karamatsu didn't say anything. What could he say?

"You go away," Chibita said, far more quiet than Karamatsu ever heard him, far more quiet than he ever should have been. "And I have to deal with that. I start making new friends. Meeting new people. Making a new life for myself, a good one. And then you come back. You act like nothing's even fucking changed, like the six of you can just show up at the cart like none of it even happened. And as soon as you hear that I changed, you -- you what, you freak out? You start asking everyone what I'm doing? You ask me to have sex with you?" He paused, maybe momentarily at a loss for words. "And then this happens and you act like the whole world's ending. I don't fucking get it, Karamatsu."

Karamatsu felt a small touch at his back, gently trailing down his spine. "Why didn't you just talk to me?" Chibita asked, and hell, he sounded a little lost, too. "What the hell were you trying to do here?"

"I don't know," Karamatsu said, even though he did know, he did. The first question, though, was less humiliating than the second. "I was afraid we wouldn't be able to talk anymore."

That he'd go to Chibita with his concerns and Chibita would just shut down. Tell Karamatsu that he wasn't a part of his life anymore and that he didn't want him to be. Or worse, that Chibita would just laugh it off and give Karamatsu a non-answer, like they were just strangers and Chibita didn't want to get into it. What would he have done if he'd asked Chibita and Chibita hadn't answered?

Chibita breathed in, breathed out behind him. "Then didn't you just prove it?" he asked.

Hell. He was right. Of course he was right. If their relationship had been what it'd used to be, Karamatsu just would have been able to knock on his door and ask him. Hell, if their relationship had really been what it'd used to be, he would have just had to reach out across their living room floor and talk.

But it wasn't. It wasn't. And this whole mess was proof of that.

"Yeah," he said, and he sniffled a little pathetically. Fuck, he hated himself for that. "I know that. I just..."

He was quiet for a long time, and Chibita nudged him with one of his knees. "Yeah?"

"I just missed you. I missed you so fucking much."

And that was it. That was everything. Karamatsu had walked away and he'd regretted it every day. He could cover it up with misadventures and stupid quests and the accolades of millions, but none of it could erase that one simple fact. He missed Chibita so damn much. He missed what they'd had. He missed who he'd been when he was by Chibita's side. He missed all of it.

"But you left." Chibita's voice was a little hurt, a little accusing. Questioning.

Karamatsu gave a one-shouldered shrug. "It scared me, being with you. Everything it meant. I could have -- I could have made a good life with you. If I'd stayed."

"But I thought you wanted that," Chibita said, soft.

"I did. I do. Of course I did. But I felt like -- like I was giving up what I was. What we were. And when Osomatsu came with, with whatever the hell it was, it just felt like a sign. That we weren't done just yet. That I shouldn't have given up on them just yet."

That was the excuse he'd had, anyway. That his brothers needed him. That his family couldn't be torn apart. He'd known even then that it was a shitty idea. But then everything had just kept going, life had just kept living, and they'd become popular. At the time, it had seemed like a sign that he'd made the right decision.

"But you were okay saying that we were done. That you should give up on me," Chibita said, and he just. He sounded so fucking tired.

"No! It -- it didn't feel like giving you up, back then. You just -- you were just our Chibita. Always so steady. It felt like I could come back later and you'd still be there, like you always were."

Chibita made a small noise, angry and hurt. "It doesn't work like that, you goddamn idjit. You can't just move in and out of my life like that and get mad when I change, too," he said.

"I know. I know that," Karamatsu said. "I wasn't mad. I was just... sad, I guess. And scared. I didn't even realize I'd lost you until I had. I thought you'd just keep right on waiting for us, for me, and no one else would notice--"

"Notice what?"

Karamatsu sighed. The tears were still slick on his face, but there were no more coming out. Maybe he didn't have anymore. "Notice how amazing you are."

Behind him, Chibita swallowed so hard that he could just about hear it. "I'm not."

"You are," Karamatsu said. "And now everybody knows it. And I-- My whole fucking life, I couldn't fight for anything. But I wanted to fight for you."

"That's what you were doing..." Chibita said, his voice sounding far away and lost. "When you were asking all those questions."

Karamatsu nodded, the motion pushing his knees into his eyes. It felt good, in a way. "I needed to know you again. I didn't have you anymore and it hurt. I just--I asked everyone everything. I thought maybe I could figure out what I needed to do to get you back."

"And you arrived at...this?" Chibita asked, and now he sounded a little skeptical.

"You liked sex," Karamatsu said, shrugging. "For once, I wanted to give you what you wanted. I wanted to get really good at it and give you... I don't know. I just wanted to give you one really good night."

There were all these words in his head for the kind of night he wanted with Chibita. Sparkling and goddess-blessed and rose-soaked. He had a thousand fantasies about what he wanted for Chibita. But this, this right here. This didn't fit into any of them. And none of those words felt right anymore. Maybe he'd lost those, too.

"You practiced," Chibita said, and Karamatsu nodded. "With who?"

There was a little note of bitterness in his voice there, a little bit of possessiveness, that would have made his heart thrill any other day. But now he knew that he just heard what he wanted to. Chibita was probably just shocked at the idea that anyone would have him. He laughed a little, darkly. "No one."

A pause. "What the hell?"

Karamatsu sighed, a long, long sigh. "I looked things up online. Watched--watched videos. Bought some, um, things. I practiced."

Another pause, like Chibita was trying to work out what he was telling him. Then, "On yourself." The tone was odd, like he was surprised and yet not, all at once.

Karamatsu nodded again. "I prepared for--for weeks. I tried everything I could think of. I just kept thinking I needed to be ready for anything. I had to practice as much as possible so if I ever--if I ever got a chance with you, I'd impress you."

Chibita mumbled something that sounded kind of like a curse. "All that for me?" he asked, like it was too much to believe.

Karamatsu breathed in, then out. It'd seemed so sensible at the time. Like this mad plan would actually work. It had seemed like everything. When he finally spoke again, he couldn't quite keep the longing from his voice. “I wanted to make myself so perfect for you that you’d never let me go.”

Chibita was breathing more quickly behind him, unsteady. "I... I wasn't the one who let go, Karamatsu."

Karamatsu clutched a little more tightly at his knees, felt his nails dig into the denim coating his legs. "I know. I know. I fucked everything up."

Chibita didn't say anything. The silence just stretched out between them, both of them breathing too-quick in a tiny fucking bathroom. It was ridiculous. It was heartbreaking. It was all Karamatsu's fault.

It was a long, long time, but finally Chibita broke the silence. “I’m tired, Karamatsu. I’m not tired of the sex, I just — I’m tired of feeling like this. Because the guys, y’know, they come and they go and it’s a lot of fun. But it just goes right back to hurting. No matter how much I try to get my mind off it, it still hurts that you didn’t even say goodbye.” Karamatsu could hear him tapping a nervous little rhythm against the floor. “None of you did.”

They hadn't, had they? Out "adventuring" at breakneck speed so they'd never have to fucking stop and consider their own pitiful existence. Too fast to think about hellos or goodbyes or the people they'd left behind them in the fucking dust. They were all awful, weren't they?

“But maybe that’s a good thing," Chibita said, breaking into his thoughts. "It… It let me know where I stand. And it made me branch out a little bit. Meet some new people. Do some new things. And I don’t regret any of that. I’m just…tired.”

And that... Chibita just sounded so exhausted. So dull. So finished with the world and everything it had to offer. It was horrible. Chibita, their Chibita, loud and boisterous and strong, seductive and sweet and everything he'd ever wanted, Chibita wasn't supposed to sound like that. But he did. And it was his fault. Not just his, but his all the same.

Karamatsu pulled himself from his slump, wiped his soggy eyes with the back of his hand, then turned so he could scoot back to sit next to Chibita. Chibita, his Chibita. Who he'd left behind to deal with all this bullshit. Who he somehow'd thought he could win over with a little bit of sex when what he really needed was something entirely different. Karamatsu wound an arm around Chibita's waist and pulled him in so he could rest against his shoulder. So he could just rest. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "We shouldn't have done that. We were shitheads."

Chibita laughed weakly. "You really, really were. None of you idjits ever even dropped by to see if I was still alive. None of you six, or Iyami, or anyone else."

"Yeah," Karamatsu said. "I know." It had just been... It had been so overwhelming. There was a mindlessness, a desperate mindlessness, to their movements. And then they'd gotten popular and it was just encouragement to keep doing it. It felt like he had finally done something right in his whole, useless life. “They loved me.” he said softly. “No one had ever loved me before.”

“I did.”

Karamatsu's arm tightened around Chibita's waist, but Chibita didn't complain. "I didn't--I didn't know that. I didn't realize then. I knew that you were important. I knew that you felt like--like you were the one thing in the whole world I could depend on. But I didn't realize back then what I wanted. Or what you wanted. I didn't get it at all," he murmured.

“That’s just like you, idjit," Chibita said, that familiar sarcasm of his sounding weak below all that exhaustion. "You’re always chasing after some fantasy instead of working hard to make the best of what you’ve got. So what if all those people liked you? They didn’t even know you. That shit was never gonna last. But it was fun and it was flashy and you never even thought about if it was real.”

Karamatsu winced. And the realest thing he'd ever had was sitting right the fuck next to him. “Isn’t that what you’re doing, though? With the…” The sex. All the sex with men who'd never loved him and never would. Men who could help him forget for just a minute how fucking alone he was. He would have good feelings and good hormones and would feel fucking good until the minute they walked out the damn door.

Chibita didn't say anything, just turned his nose into Karamatsu's shoulder. “Maybe. But I already lost my chance at something real," he said softly. "You’re the one who threw it away.”

Karamatsu's throat closed up. That sounded so final. Like it didn't matter who'd loved whom. None of it mattered anymore. Because he'd thrown away their chance at happiness and Chibita had been smart. He'd moved the fuck on.

"You know the funny thing?" Chibita murmured. "All this time, this whole fucking day, I was thinking in the back of my mind… Maybe if it’s really good, this time he’ll stay.”

Karamatsu might have laughed if there had been any laughter still left in his body. It was ironic, in a way, but also utterly predictable. The two of them had never been as different as they'd seemed. They were both so desperate to be loved. To be anything but alone. They'd both been abandoned again and again and again, but were stupid enough to just keep reaching out. They could have been great together if he'd just realized what they had. Chibita was right. Karamatsu was always looking towards the next thing, to what could be the next best thing, and ignoring all the good things that were right next to him. He'd been so fucking foolish, and what had he done? Given Chibita one more abandonment to deal with. He had no right to want to seduce Chibita. To be seduced in turn. He had no right to want to sit here, right here, with Chibita breathing hard against his shoulder, for the rest of their lives.

But he wanted to be better. He wanted to be worthy. And maybe right now, that meant putting aside what he wanted and just listening to Chibita. He swallowed, looked straight ahead at the wall. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked, raw.

Chibita sighed, and he sounded so tired that he just about broke Karamatsu's heart all over again. "I don't know, idjit. When you're gone, all I want to do is see you again, but when you're here, all I can do is worry about how long you'll stay. Maybe I still love you. I don't fucking know. I'm not one of those cool guys who can put all their feelings into words. I just..." he trailed off, and Karamatsu's heart constricted in his chest.

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay," Karamatsu said, wishing his voice sounded a little more convincing when he said it. "If you don't want me to go, I won't." He swallowed. "Last time... Last time it never felt like I could really stay. It felt like--like you were just offering this place as a bridge. An oasis. Like I was supposed to just stay with you and become a better person and then leave again. And if I stayed with you, I'd just be putting off what I was really supposed to be doing."

He could feel Chibita's eyelashes against his shoulder when he blinked. He liked that feeling. "And what the hell were you supposed to be doing?"

"Back then, I thought I was supposed to be a proper adult, make a new life for myself. I was supposed to go out and get a job and get my own place. Find a girl, get married, have some kids. Raise them to be better than I was. I was supposed to leave the nest. And I thought back then that your apartment was still part of it. That I had to leave if I ever wanted to be a real person."

"And now?"

Karamatsu sighed. "Now I think I was supposed to stay here with you forever. You were supposed to be my new life," he admitted. He'd felt it the moment he'd walked away. That he was walking in the wrong fucking direction. And he'd wandered aimlessly, trying to find the right one, not realizing that any direction would be wrong. He'd already left the destination.

Now that place didn't exist anymore. That noisy little apartment with just him and Chibita, where Chibita would encourage him and help him and comfort him when the nights were long. It had been a place of the utmost hope, but it had also been a time. And he couldn't go back. He just had to look at what he had now, right now. He had to stop looking ahead at a future that would never exist and look beside him. For once. This life now wasn't as hopeful and it wasn't as sweet. But it was what he had to work with, and this time, he wouldn't squander it.

If Chibita still wanted him to stay.

Chibita was shaking now, so slightly that Karamatsu never would have felt it if his arm hadn't been wound tight around his waist. "I can't be your hope, Karamatsu," he said quietly. "I can't make you be anything you don't want to be."

"I know," Karamatsu said simply. He did. Things like hope didn't go one way. All there was in real life was support and love. Maybe he was finally ready to offer it instead of just taking all the time.

"It was really nice having you here," Chibita said. "I'd never lived with anyone before. Not since I was a kid. I didn't know what it was like to eat meals with someone or sleep near someone or just--just be with someone. When you first left, when we finished all that stupid bullshit and we all went home... It felt so lonely. I'd never felt that lonely because I never knew what I was missing. But when you left, it felt like my apartment was completely empty. And I thought... I thought maybe that was why it hurt so much. Because I was alone again. I didn't know, either. Back then. What I wanted."

Karamatsu breathed out slow. So he hadn't been the only clueless one back then.

"But you weren't completely gone yet. You were still around town. We still hung out sometimes. And even when you fucking drove me nuts, I was still always happy to see you. You were my dependable Karamatsu, even when you weren't. It wasn't until everyone went away that I got it. Because I was all alone again, really alone this time, and the person I missed most was you. Even when you left my apartment, I could still see you whenever I wanted. It wasn't until I didn't even have that anymore that I felt like--I felt like I'd lost everything. Like I had to remake myself because there wasn't anything left. Everything I did reminded me of you, of all of you. So I started doing different things."

And different people. Karamatsu still felt a yawning cavern inside himself every time he thought about all the men Chibita had been with, but now it was filled with regret. Chibita had been so alone. He hadn't lost Chibita; he'd left him. And Chibita had filled his own cavern with casual sex and good times, and how could he blame him? How could he blame him for abandoning the idea of "forever" when the best he'd ever had was "for now"?

"But that's not working, either," Chibita said. "Like, I like it. Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of fun--"

Karamatsu grip tightened incrementally.

"But it's not working. I thought it was helping, that getting a new hobby or whatever would help me get over it. But then you show up and it's like I'm all alone again. I've been a wreck all fucking day. I couldn't stop thinking about having sex with you. Not the first time, I guess, but this time I just... I was so scared. Like... What if I liked it? What if you didn't? What if... What if I did a good job and you realized what you'd been missing all this time..."

Karamatsu didn't say anything. It probably wouldn't have gone over well if he'd said he'd known what he was missing the second he'd heard other men were having it. That made it sound like he only wanted Chibita because other people wanted him and that--that just wasn't true.

"I don't think I can get over you," Chibita admitted. "And I thought I had to because you were over me, but..."

"I'm not," Karamatsu said. That much was obvious to them both. No one had a fucking panic attack in someone's bathroom because it was fun.

Chibita was quiet for a moment, and Karamatsu could almost feel him building up that legendary spine of his. Then, "Do you think maybe we could try again?"

Karamatsu's pulse quickened. "The sex or...?"

Chibita shook his head against his shoulder. "All of it."

All of it. All of it. Going by the oden cart whenever he wanted to, just because he wanted to hear Chibita's laugh. Hearing him snore quietly at night when everything else was still. Chatting about everything and nothing as Chibita chopped vegetables for dinner. Holding each other close, kissing, grinding, touching him the way he'd always wanted to... God. All of it.

"I don't want to have sex with you," Karamatsu said, abruptly.

Chibita tensed at his side. "What?" he asked. "I go and fucking pour my stupid heart to you and--"

Karamatsu took a chance. He turned his head to the side, just so, and caught his lips against the side of Chibita's mouth. "I want to make love."

Chibita froze for just a second, and then all of his air seemed to pour out of him at once. "You asshole," he said weakly. "That's just like you. Fucking painful."

And then Chibita kissed him.

It wasn't like before. Before, Chibita had been a man on a mission. Now he was just soft and slow and sweet. Brushing his lips over Karamatsu's, pressing in lightly every so often. Catching their lips together, pulling away, leaning in with another sigh. He was so good at this that it almost made Karamatsu a little self-conscious.

"Sorry," Karamatsu mumbled into the kiss. "I'll get better at this, I promise."

Chibita blinked at him, his eyes gone hazy in a way that made Karamatsu's stomach flutter. "What're you talking about, idjit? I love the way you kiss me." He leaned in again, reached out so he could caress Karamatsu's cheek with gentle fingers as he kissed him. "Like I mean something."

"Darling," Karamatsu said, the endearment coming out as naturally as breath, "you mean everything."

Chibita made a tiny, broken sound into their kiss, like he couldn't quite decide whether he wanted to laugh or cry. "Painful," was all he said, before kissing him again.

And Karamatsu, Karamatsu could have done this for the rest of his life, but after just a few minutes, Chibita was pulling away again. "What's wrong?" he asked, blinking down at Chibita a little dopily.

"Nothing's wrong," Chibita said, but the way that he was pulling away seemed at odds with his words. "Just thought you might want to clean up a little before we..." He paused, nose wrinkling. "'Make love'."

Karamatsu flushed. The mess in his pants was absolutely disgusting, clammy and sticky at the same time, but it had seemed like such a small thing when Chibita was laying his heart bare for them both to dissect. Now that he was starting to come to attention again, though? Now he could feel it. "Can I...?"

"You know where the shower is," Chibita said with a shrug.

He did, he thought with a little thrill, and how many of Chibita's one-night stands had been able to say the same thing? 

Letting go of Chibita wasn't easy, but another couple kisses and murmured endearments later, Karamatsu was staggering to his feet and into the shower room. He left his soiled clothes for Future Karamatsu to worry about, then stepped under a scalding spray.

It was, he realized, a little scarier to think about their upcoming activities when Chibita wasn't pressed warm against his side. He sort of half-wished he'd invited Chibita to shower with him, but it was probably for the best that he have some time to pull himself the fuck together. He still hadn't managed to put the facts of the night into a working order in his brain, hadn't quite been able to make sense of them. He'd walked into the apartment practically a stranger, and now...what? He and Chibita loved each other again? Hell, had they ever stopped?

It didn't make sense. It just didn't. But what part of his life did, really? What part of his bizarre day-to-day life fit into a neat little narrative? Maybe this time, he thought as he washed away salt and snot and other distasteful things, he'd just take things as they came. He couldn't guarantee that this thing with Chibita would be forever. He couldn't guarantee that they'd have a beautiful romance for the ages. This mess of theirs didn't belong in a romantic film, that was for damn sure. But Chibita had given him a second chance. And that would have to be enough.

He stepped out of the shower feeling clean and new and, well, <i>almost</i> ready to try again. He wasn't sure what Chibita would want this time, but he had hopes that he'd do better.

Better in bed, better in life. He had hopes.

He walked out of the shower room, feeling a little awkward holding a damp towel around his mostly-dry waist. He hadn't had any new clothes to change into, but if Chibita was just planning on taking them off anyway...

Chibita looked up from his phone, sprawled where he was on the futon, and Karamatsu saw his fingers slip as his eyes widened. Well. That was gratifying. 

"I didn't know..." Karamatsu started, awkward, but he didn't know quite how to finish. He didn't know if there was something he should be wearing. If there was something Chibita wanted him to do. Hell, he hadn't even known if there was somewhere specific Chibita had wanted him to clean.

"Just come here," Chibita said, sitting up a little straighter.

Karamatsu didn't have to be asked twice. He padded over to him, feeling the familiar sensation of Chibita's tatami beneath his toes, until he was right at the futon's edge. He knelt down next to Chibita, knowing that if he sat down pretty much any other way, the towel wouldn't cover up anything. He knew that was the eventual point, but...

Chibita just looked at him for a minute, hot eyes tracing over all the lines of him, and Karamatsu fought not to fidget under his gaze. Then Chibita reached out, squeezed one knee, and said, "Can I...?"

Could he what? Karamatsu swallowed hard and nodded, knowing that the answer, truthfully enough, was that he'd let Chibita do anything.

Chibita carefully slid his fingers up the seam where the ends of the towel met, but once he got to where they were tucked together, he didn't pull them apart. He just let his fingers rest there, gentle, as he leaned in for a kiss.

It was disappointingly brief; Karamatsu had only just settled into the warmth of him before he was pulling away again. "So what was your plan?" Chibita asked him, and Karamatsu just blinked at him. "Your plan, before you got here," Chibita clarified. "You wanted to make it so good I'd never let you go, right? What did you want to do?"

Karamatsu's red face only went redder. After their first disastrous attempt, all his plans just sounded foolish in his head. "I wanted..." He swallowed. "I wanted to kiss you. All of you. All over. And then maybe... Maybe um. Suck you." Fuck, this was embarrassing. "And then we could, y'know," he said, making a strange, abortive little gesture that he hoped communicated fucking. "You on top, or me. I wasn't sure which you'd want."

Chibita's eyes had gone wide and dark and a little bit glazed, but all he did was swallow hard and say, "That sounds like a lot for your first time."

"Yeah," Karamatsu said, looking down at his knees. It had clearly been a lot more than he'd been capable of.

Chibita looked at him, at his red, red face and the slump of his shoulders, and then he smiled. It was a private little smile, but the sweetest one Karamatsu had seen on him all night. "My first time, I came before he even got me wet all the way. I think I really surprised him. He'd barely even touched me. I thought I was gonna die, I was so embarrassed," he said.

Karamatsu didn't really want to think about another man slicking Chibita up inside, but he understood what Chibita was doing here. "And what happened?" he asked.

Chibita shrugged. "He fucked me anyway. It still feels good even if you aren't hard anymore," he said. "It usually turns out okay eventually. Even bad sex is pretty good."

Karamatsu paused, tilted his head to the side. "I would have waited," he finally said. "I would've gotten you hard again before I did anything else. I want..." God, he was red. It'd be amazing if he could actually get a hard-on with this much blood up in his face. "I want you to feel good."

"It's not that simple," Chibita said, and ducked in for another kiss. "And besides, sometimes I liked it that way."

Damn. Wrong again, somehow, even when he was trying to be romantic. Karamatsu drooped.

"Don't worry," Chibita said, laying his fingers against Karamatsu's collar and leaning up on his knees so he could press their foreheads together. "I'll show you what I like."

Karamatsu's breaths went a little unsteady. Communication, he'd read, would be key. He'd certainly learned his lesson on that front. And god, wouldn't it be so much easier to have Chibita teach him what to do? So much easier than reading dozens of internet guides and feeling around with his own fingers like they could be any substitute for Chibita's. So much easier than thinking about any sex act imaginable and wondering if that would be what would drive Chibita crazy.

Maybe making things difficult wasn't necessarily more romantic. He didn't have to figure things out on his own. He didn't have to make elaborate plans and sweep Chibita off his feet. He just had to listen to him and do what he wanted him to do.

Karamatsu reached out to pull Chibita in close, one hand on his back and the other curving up his spine until he could cup the back of Chibita's head and bring their lips together again. "I'll do anything you want," he murmured, soft.

Chibita kissed him back, gentle at first, then deep. And Karamatsu, god, was starting to become so fond of that tongue. It was slow, it was scorching, and Karamatsu could feel a shiver from his head all the way down to his cock. Fuck.

Chibita was rubbing along the fold of the towel, dipping his fingertips below it. "Why don't we start with something easy?" he asked, so close that Karamatsu could still feel the whisper of his tongue against his lips.

"Okay," he mumbled, like he'd be able to say no to a goddamn thing Chibita said at this point.

Chibita pulled back, just a breath, and Karamatsu instantly missed his heat. "I want to take this off," Chibita said, tapping the towel. "D'you want to take my clothes off, or should I?"

"I want to," Karamatsu blurted before he'd even really made sense of the question. "Can I--"

Chibita laughed, and god, Karamatsu had missed his laugh. "Sure," he said. "I picked stuff that comes off easy."

The shirt, for sure, came off easy. Karamatsu enjoyed it, too, the feeling of his fingers skimming against Chibita's ribs, his warm belly, as he slid his hands up under Chibita's loose shirt. He pulled it up over his head, Chibita helping out readily enough, and then there was just. There was so much to look at. All that soft, warm skin, golden in the lamplight, and Karamatsu could have just looked at that for days.

But Chibita was wiggling, was pulling Karamatsu's hands down to the waistband of his shorts so they could work together to get them off. There were still every bit as tight as they'd looked when Karamatsu had walked through the door, dumbstruck at Chibita's beauty, but Karamatsu could feel now that they were light, malleable. Maybe some kind of workout shorts. And then Chibita eased Karamatsu's fingers beneath the waistband and Karamatsu's mouth went dry.

"You're not wearing anything under these," he said, a breathless statement rather than a question.

"Nope," Chibita said, and his voice was light and playful in a way that was so, so much better than his tense curtness earlier that evening. Was this the way Chibita always was during sex? Or was he starting to feel some of the wild relief that Karamatsu was, that strange buoyancy around his heart?

God, Karamatsu really fucking hoped so. Because he was still nervous, still didn't know what the hell he was doing there, but there was a sort of lightness inside him that was filling him up. He felt better than he had in weeks, in months, and it was all down to that sparkle in Chibita's eyes.

Karamatsu kissed him, was helpless not to, as he slid one of his hands into Chibita's shorts so he could cup his bare ass.

Chibita gasped into the kiss, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he just raised his ass up a little bit to make it easier for Karamatsu to slide in the fingers of his other hand too, to caress all that beautiful warm, soft skin and yank the fabric down around it.

Karamatsu could feel Chibita pulling away again, squirming as he helped Karamatsu pull the shorts down his legs, but he didn't open his eyes, couldn't, until they were done.

And then he opened his eyes and Chibita was naked, gloriously so, and watching him with eyes that laughed.

"Like what you see?" Chibita asked him, and fuck, what kind of question was that?

"Like" was too mild a word for what Karamatsu felt looking at him now. There was heat, such intense fucking heat, all the way down, but there was also a sense of wild, childish wonder. Like he'd never quite thought he'd really get there. That he'd really be right the fuck where he was right now. He'd seen Chibita naked before; Chibita had never been particularly shy with his nudity. But this, this was so different. Chibita's skin was so warm, his cock was just starting to fill, and all that flesh was for him.

"Fuck," Karamatsu said, and it came out as an embarrassing whimper.

But Chibita only looked pleased, and he did a little something, something fucking sinful with those hips of his, an undulation that Karamatsu was pretty sure he'd never be able to replicate. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

"Now," Chibita said. "Let me do something about this," he said, putting one hand to the fold keeping Karamatsu's towel in place, "So I can do something about this." He pressed his other hand to the rising bulge in Karamatsu's lap, lightly squeezing his cock through the material and just...

"Do it," Karamatsu groaned, "Quick." He didn't want a repeat of last time.

"I've got you," Chibita said, dragging the heel of his hand across Karamatsu lap in another maddening caress. With his other hand, he moved his hand down, away from the folds. Karamatsu whimpered again, and he bobbed his hip upward like he could push Chibita's hand back where he wanted it to be.

"Shh," Chibita murmured, and put his hand right on Karamatsu's thigh, then started to slide it upward. Karamatsu realized what he was doing right as the loose folds fell away under the movement of his hand, and then Chibita was pulling the towel away, pushing it back to expose Karamatsu's hard cock to the open air of his apartment.

Karamatsu spared a brief second of anxiety, of worry that Chibita might not like what he saw, but Chibita was just staring down at him greedily, absorbing every detail like he could store it away in his memory for later.

Karamatsu thought about Chibita remembering him later, of Chibita touching himself to the memory of Karamatsu's cock, and his own erection jerked beneath Chibita's gaze. Fuck. He hadn't thought that it was possible that Chibita might want him as much as Karamatsu wanted him, but the heated, wondering look in Chibita's eyes had him guessing otherwise.

"Sit flat," Chibita said to him, voice gone hoarse, and Karamatsu would have fucking jumped off a goddamn cliff if that voice had asked him to. "I can't get in your lap if you're sitting up like that."

Karamatsu swept his legs out from under himself so quickly that he almost kicked Chibita, who only snickered at his hurry. He untangled the towel from his legs, pushed it off to the side somewhere so it wouldn't get in their way, then sat flat with his legs loosely crossed in front of him. He could tell that he was perfectly on display like this. That Chibita could see goddamn everything.

Let him look. Karamatsu liked having Chibita's eyes on him.

Chibita did look, eyes taking in the view with interest even as he crawled forward so he could climb in Karamatsu's lap. They were right up against each other now, Chibita's legs splayed wide across his, and just an inch more and--

Chibita moved an inch more, pushing his cock right up against Karamatsu's, and Karamatsu's breath stuttered to a stop. "You--"

"Yeah," Chibita said, too smug now for words, and he ground up against Karamatsu, skin on skin and god, it felt so good. They'd been in this position before, just a little while ago, and Chibita had clearly thought that it'd be good for an encore. This time there were no clothes separating them, though, no hurt feelings and misunderstandings and broken fucking hearts. It was just skin and skin and skin and the muffled laughter in Chibita's throat. He reached down between them, put one hand on Karamatsu's chest to steady himself and the other in their laps to stroke them both together.

He was casual as he stroked, like he wasn't driving Karamatsu out of his mind, like it wasn't the best thing he'd ever felt in his entire life. This was "easy", he knew. This was just beginner's stuff, hand jobs and grinding, but fuck, fuck, it was so good that Karamatsu couldn’t imagine doing anything better. Chibita's fingers caught against skin still slightly damp from the shower, and the sensation was like nothing Karamatsu could even try to put words to. All the flowery words in the world couldn't describe the simple pleasure of Chibita hand on his cock.

"Hey," Chibita murmured, his voice taking on this sexy, raspy tone that Karamatsu wanted to hear every day for the rest of his life. "Y'know, I've never made a guy come in his pants before."

Karamatsu blinked at him, momentarily confused. Why the hell was Chibita bringing that up now? "I..."

But Chibita just smiled at him, free and joyful in a way that Karamatsu hadn't seen in months, and leaned in close, closer, so he could kiss him deep. "It was really hot," he whispered.

And fuck, fuck, wasn't that just like Chibita? Liking him despite his faults. Maybe even loving him for them. Karamatsu groaned deep in his throat, then reached down himself so he could give Chibita a hand. Chibita gasped, but let him, moved to the side so Karamatsu could do whatever the hell he wanted. It was awkward at first, two hands doing different things, but then Karamatsu caught on to the way of it, the rhythm, and suddenly he and Chibita were moving together, were pulling and stroking and rubbing themselves together and fuck, fuck.

Karamatsu knew he was close, was sure he was about to embarrass himself all over Chibita's hand, but then Chibita moaned, loud and long, and came all over the both of them. His hand went slack around Karamatsu's cock, but Karamatsu just wrapped his hand around Chibita's, forced them both to rub a little harder, a little faster, Chibita's come making everything nice and slick and smoothing the way and--

Bliss. Karamatsu choked on his own orgasm, a sound that wasn't quite a moan and wasn't quite a cry, a sound he was pretty sure he'd never made before but hopefully would again. Waves of pleasure overtook him and it was blinding, it was everything. And when he came down, Chibita was holding him close.

Chibita let Karamatsu rest his head against his shoulder, running his clean fingers through Karamatsu's hair as they both breathed hard. Chibita ran his other hand down Karamatsu's back, and he couldn't even mind the mess. It felt so good here in Chibita's arms.

"You okay?" Chibita asked softly, pressing a kiss to Karamatsu's hair.

Karamatsu nodded mutely against Chibita's shoulder. He was too tired to do anything else.

Chibita was quiet for a moment, then asked, even more quietly, "Was it good?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, and he hoped that Chibita understood that mumble for the achievement it was.

"Good." Chibita's breathing slowed, slowly but surely, as his fingers brushed the shivers from Karamatsu's skin. Then, quietest of all: "Good enough to stay?"

Karamatsu blinked against Chibita's skin. Exhaustion be damned. He sat up best he could and looked Chibita dead in the eyes. "I will stay," he said, as clearly as he could, "As long as you'll let me. I won't go until you make me go." He swallowed. "I love you."

Chibita blinked once, very quick, but Karamatsu knew it wasn't surprise this time. Chibita's eyes shone too bright for that. "Good," he said again, and his voice sounded thick. He pulled Karamatsu in for one quick gentle kiss. "Good," he murmured one more time, as if to himself. As if reassuring himself that yes, they were good. They were great. This, all this, wouldn't have to happen again.

He didn't say it back, though. Those words. Karamatsu knew it was harder for Chibita, that it was harder for most people than it was for him, but there was also the chance that--that Chibita didn't, anymore. That now he'd have to settle for something a little less. Karamatsu worried at his bottom lip, tried to think of what to say. How to ask.

"Was it," he said tentatively, "Was it so good you can't bear to let me go?"

And god, that really had been such a fucking stupid plan. But Chibita only smiled at him, a little watery, and said, "No, idjit. It really wasn't. But it will be. We'll have a long time to work on it. This wasn't--this wasn't some one-night thing." He kissed Karamatsu again, achingly gentle. "You're not like the rest."

"Yeah?" Karamatsu asked, because he couldn't help but dig just a little more. He could see there in Chibita's eyes that he knew what Karamatsu wanted to hear.

"Yeah," he said. And then he paused for a moment and Karamatsu could see the struggle written on his face, the fear and sadness and loneliness that had never quite gone away. But then Chibita relaxed, sighed like he'd come to a decision that he'd been fighting with for a long, long time. "Yeah," he said again. "I love you, too."

"Good," Karamatsu said, and his voice wobbled dangerously. He could feel his eyes starting to sting, and he put his head back down on Chibita's shoulder so he could keep his tears to himself.

Later, much later, after their breaths had evened and they'd been able to bear to let go of each other, after Chibita had gone to the bathroom and come back with a wet rag they could use on each other, after they'd straightened the futon and turned out the lights and lay down together, Karamatsu rolled over in Chibita's futon and curled against his back.

It felt strange. The air in here was the same, the dripping faucet and the cars outside, the faint shapes of Chibita's furniture in the blackness. Chibita's soft breaths. But they'd never lain together like this back then. They'd always had separate futons then, and at least an arm's length between them. This, all this warm skin and a sense of togetherness that was lovely and frightening both, this was all new.

Karamatsu thought about forever and whether romantic things like that really existed. He liked to think they did. He liked to think the whole world was one big stage, and if you were lucky, you might stumble into one of its epic love stories. But he and Chibita didn't fit into any of those stories. Maybe they didn't have forever, either. But they had now, right now, and right now Karamatsu had a kind of happiness inside him that he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before.

"Can I use your washing machine tomorrow morning?" Karamatsu murmured against Chibita's neck, punctuating the request with a kiss. As much as he enjoyed lying here naked with Chibita now, tomorrow he'd have to get home somehow.

"Yeah," Chibita said, soft and drowsy. "We can hang it up together. I hear tomorrow's gonna be a beautiful day."

[real-life-pine-tree]

Seed of Darkness: A Clash of Academies (6/?)

All it takes it one bad seed to spoil the whole bunch. An AU collab with @violetganache42​.

Ah, the wondrous dueling school known as Duel Academy. Located in the Fusion Dimension, this school is where the most skilled Duelists go to become among part of Leo Akaba's team of elite soldiers.

Or at least, that's what it used to be.

No one saw it coming and it was too late for the students to retaliate because they had taken over all within the span of only two days. Smoke hissed from the huge piles of rubble scattered all over the island. The attached towers were either destroyed, ripped from the Academy, suffered damage, or a combination of the three. Different buildings also endured the same casualties and a few of the docks had been dismantled from the severe battle damage that was dealt. Any students who survived the onslaught have been facing with the grim, harsh reality that the school they grew up in was now gone. It now went under a new name and it was called Reverse Academy.

The large percentage of the students had been Reversed and still follow the same strict set of rules and the “By-the-Book” method, but it was all for a different purpose: create the perfect world as imagined by the Void. They have been converting the wrecked duel school into what resembles a demonic cult; there was a vast amount of candles standing around every hall and corner, draperies with the Link Joker emblem were hung up in the rooms that contained little to no damage, and everyone attending there wore dark-colored cloaked robes like Celina and Barrett. Progress was still being made on not only Reverse Academy’s appearance, but that was the job of those who were not assigned to carry out the mission to handle the “renovation”.

Right now, a special task was going to be made for one of the Reversed students. In the Professor’s old throne room, a tall teen received a notification on his altered Academy-issued Duel Disk. He had teal hair divided in three sections with the bangs hovering above his blue eyes, fair skin, and wore a white variation of the male Obelisk Blue uniform. He was known as Zane Truesdale, a legendary Duelist in the Fusion Dimension who used to be a student at Duel Academy. With him already falling victim to the Reverse, he had recently returned to help carry out the Void’s orders. He was currently left in charge until Celina returns from her assignment in the Standard Dimension, so seeing the head agent calling him meant this was going to be important.

Zane opened his Duel Disk's communication function, very little emotion showing on his face. "Hello Celina," he said. "Have you made progress with Reversing the Standard Dimension?"

"I have," Celina answered. "I was able to Reverse a small number of Duelists, but that should be enough to Reverse everyone else. But my top priority is finding Zuzu Boyle. Once I find her, I'll come back to Reverse Academy."

"But the chains you once wore are gone," Zane pointed out. "There's no need to liberate her, as you call it."

"I have witnessed her duels," Celina explained. "She is one of the more powerful Duelists of the Standard Dimension. Once I liberate her, fulfilling the Void's wishes will be much easier. But there's more. There are still former students who oppose us: Sora Perse, Dennis McField, and Yuri."

"So the Professor's prodigy sides against us," Zane noted. "The Void will not be happy to hear that, wherever it currently is."

"Speaking of our master, I also made a discovery," Celina said. "And it has to do with the Void's ultimate plan to Reverse everyone in all four dimensions: someone might have access to Joker monsters."

"Why should that be a concern?" Zane asked. "You know I have Joker monsters as well, ones that replaced my Cyber Dragons."

"Because he sounded too innocent," Celina explained. "But I don't have time to track him down. I need someone to scout ahead and locate this rumored Joker user."

"And you want me to handle it?" Zane assumed. "I appreciate how much faith you have in me, but I need to overlook the medical procedures Bastion has completed."

"Not you," Celina corrected. "I need your brother."

"Are you sure?" Zane asked. "You know how ruthless he can be, even before he was Reversed."

"I'm sure," Celina insisted. "He's the perfect candidate to start our takeover of the Standard Dimension."

"Very well," Zane said. "I will send him to Standard as soon as possible."

Within moments, a flash of icy blue light shone just outside of the Ancient Zone; coincidentally, it just so happened to be right near the alleyway where the three beings were hidden away from plain sight. The trio looked over to their right to see the light and ran towards it, awaiting for the arrival of their companions and their commander. Once it diminished, it revealed a few more people dressed exactly like them but with different colored lenses for each soldier. Leading them all was a short, fair-skinned teenager with light blue, fluffy hair sectioned into three layers, gray eyes underneath the three bangs closest to his face, a pair of small, circular glasses, and donning a slightly altered male Obelisk Blue uniform. He was known to everyone as Syrus Truesdale, Zane’s younger brother who was originally a Slifer Red student but made it through Ra Yellow and up to Obelisk Blue over the years thanks to the intense amount of strict, ruthless training and lessons.

"Commander Truesdale!" one of the soldiers exclaimed with a salute. "What a surprise to see you!"

"Save your breath, Torrey," Syrus said, speaking in a cold tone. "My brother sent me to this dimension on orders given by Celina. It seems her obsession with finding her other selves is keeping her occupied. So how is the progress?"

"Everything is proceeding according to the Void's plan," Torrey reported. "Mukouda, Isaka, and myself have Reversed about three Duelists."

"That's all?" Syrus asked. "How pathetic."

Torrey was surprised by Syrus' words. "But Commander Truesdale, the Void wants us to Reverse every Duelist who doesn't have Pendulum cards!" he explained. "So far most of the Duelists we came across already has them!"

"Then make sure everyone in this dimension loses their Pendulum cards!" Syrus snapped. He let out a huff. "Must I do everything?"

It was bad enough he already has his hands full with his own mission. Earlier that same day, he was called into the throne room because Zane had retrieved information from Celina; his main objective was to seek out this Yuri lookalike because he might be in possession of Joker monsters. He does have an idea about the latter’s appearance because Celina did mention about the two sharing the same facial structures. Also, with his small group of Obelisk Force soldiers plus the ones scheduled to arrive briefly, taking over the Standard Dimension should be simple enough as long as they confiscate those Pendulum cards. Besides, how much of an impact would Reversing three measly Duelists even have?

"So what brings you here, sir?" Torrey asked.

"Celina wants me to track down a Duelist who might have access to Joker monsters," Syrus explained. "Have any of you seen a 14-year-old boy who resembles Yuri but with messy hair and casual clothing?"

"I have," Torrey reported, showing a broadcast from his Duel Disk. "His name is Yuya Sakaki. He doesn't have the same bushy eyebrows as Yuri, but his other facial features and voice are very similar."

"I see," Syrus said, watching the broadcast carefully. "May I see the other duels he was in?"

"Actually, Commander, you might want to check TooYube," Isaka suggested. "There is a video you might want to watch."

"We don't have time watching pointless videos!" Syrus pointed out.

"But sir, this one is kind of important," Isaka insisted, using his own Duel Disk to play the video. "It was what made Celina come to Standard in the first place."

The video playing on Isaka’s Duel Disk was during Yuya’s duel against Iggy. The young Duelist’s demonic Reversed side had just made itself known and he had brought out Odd-Eyes Joker Dragon. He declared his attack to secure his victory through a One Turn Kill, but what happened after that piqued Syrus’ curiosity. Yuya had Reversed Iggy, but once the duel was over, Nico had dropped his microphone, causing the former to go back to normal due to the feedback; he didn’t remember what happened until he saw his defeated opponent’s face. After the video ended, Syrus proceeded to quickly piece together what Celina meant when she said Yuya sounded too innocent. The presence of Joker energy drew her into the Standard Dimension and seeing him in the Battle Royale made her suspicious of him.

"Wait a minute..." Syrus said, his eyes widening slightly. "That dragon looks familiar."

"I know," Isaka agreed. "It looks a lot like Glendios."

"Of course!" Syrus exclaimed. "The Void's signature Unit! But that would mean..."

The Void is using Yuya as a puppet; in its current state, it used enough energy to take control of him. Despite the microphone feedback snapping him back to normal, it was still enough for its pawn to initiate its side of its master plan. With the increasing number of Reversed soldiers, it would grow stronger and soon fully reveal itself through him eventually. Syrus smirked sinisterly at this revelation of Yuya being the Void’s host; in fact, his mission just got a whole lot interesting.

"There has been a change of plans," Syrus said. "We must locate Yuya Sakaki so we can see if our master has chose him as its current host."

Meanwhile, thanks to Violet Flash cooperating with him, Yuri and Sora had managed to successfully arrive just outside of the Battle Royale. They are currently staying at a motel, mainly because there was no way Yuri wanted to make himself known to the public, especially to his counterparts after attempting to abduct Lulu and Rin. The last thing he needed was for his past actions to burn into everyone’s brains and draw alarm; the war against the Reversed Duelists is already a threat as it is.

So while Sora was currently in the motel's dining room splurging on free sweets, Yuri was still in the rented room, looking at Starving Venom's card. "Oh, my treasured pet," he said. "Whatever are we supposed to do?"

"Help me!"

Yuri looked up in alarm. "Who said that?!" he demanded.

"I did, plant boy! Now hurry up and help me!"

Yuri turned to his left to see an apparition standing in front of the motel room’s window. He rapidly realized this was no ghost—it was a Duel Monster Spirit! Not only that, but he recognized her as Celina’s ace monster prior to the Reverse outbreak! What was Lunalight Cat Dancer even doing here?

"I don't suppose you're here to slash my chest and throat as well," Yuri said with disdain in his voice.

"I only attack Celina's opponents in duels," Cat Dancer said. "And my attacks don't cause actual damage."

"Then how-" Yuri started to ask.

"How was I able to attack Leo Akaba?" Cat Dancer asked in response. "That wasn't me. The entity known as Link Joker was manipulating my body. Luckily I was able to transfer my consciousness to your deck before I was Locked."

"My deck?!" Yuri asked in disgust. "Get your filthy paws off my lovely Predaplants!"

Cat Dancer let out a frustrated sigh. "It's not like I had a choice," she admitted, sitting next to Yuri on the bed. "I could have transfer my consciousness to any deck, preferably that of Declan Akaba. But for some reason, your dragon seemed to call out to me, so here I am."

"How dare you make such a false accusation!" Yuri cried out. "Starving Venom would never associate himself with the likes of you!"

"Then why is he getting all chummy-chummy with me?" Cat Dancer asked.

Right as she said that, Yuri saw Starving Venom Fusion Dragon’s spirit next to Cat Dancer and he was purring. He also could have sworn he heard occasional small, content growls. His jaw was left ajar and his arms went limp at the sight of his beloved pet getting smitten with Celina’s feline ace.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Yuri asked. "You know you're not supposed to fraternize with the enemy!"

"I guess he's willing to make an exception with me," Cat Dancer said as she scratched Starving Venom under his chin.

"Enough with that," Yuri said, changing topics. "You said you need me to help you."

"I do," Cat Dancer explained. "You have to get Celina to snap out of it. She's not completely Reversed."

"Not completely?" Yuri repeated. "I saw the damage she caused."

"Exactly," Cat Dancer. "The Void didn't tell her to kill Leo and destroy all of Duel Academy. That was her doing. The only thing the Void did was give her the power she needed to overthrow the school."

Yuri’s eyes shot open wide and his bushy eyebrows sharply raised up at what he just heard. The shock was so intense, his Starving Venom card fell out of his hand and landed on the floor as his mind comprehended the given information. Leo’s sudden murder and the massively hysterical epidemic going around Duel Academy… All of that was only Celina’s doing?! She was solely responsible for the uprising?! In only a matter of seconds, his eyebrows lowered and started to twitch, his upper and lower jaws pushed against each other, his hands clenched shut to form two fists, and subtle trembles shook his body. All the years spent growing up under the care of someone who valued his powerful skills and talent, taught him etiquette and proper manners, and served as a father figure to him… They came to an abrupt halt…at the hands of the same girl he met when they were young.

"How dare she cause such a ruckus!" Yuri shouted, tears forming from his eyes. He stood up. "You here me, Celina?! You will pay for the damage you have caused!"

Starving Venom used his tail to wipe away the tears from his master's eyes, sadly growling in response. "I take it that Leo meant a lot to you," Cat Dancer noticed.

"Of course he does," Yuri responded, having slightly calmed down from his outburst. "As well as Duel Academy itself. It was the only place I ever called a home, and the Professor was the closest thing I had to a true father figure. He never made it official, but it always felt like he adopted me."

Cat Dancer couldn’t help but feel somewhat bad for Yuri. She knew Celina was devastated to learn the truth about Leo’s plans, but she admittedly never took into consideration about how her actions would affect the other students. It all happened too quickly; before anyone could get a chance to discover Leo had died, all the carded Duelists were freed and Reversing most of Duel Academy and quickly took control thanks to the Void and its Units merging with Duel Monster cards to create horrific, monstrous demons, including herself.

"But that's why you have to help me," Cat Dancer said. "Yet you can't do it alone. You need to team up with your other selves."

"I beg your pardon?" Yuri asked as he picked up Starving Venom's card. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I believe you're the key to freeing Celina from this twisted insanity," Cat Dancer admitted. "The same way your other selves are drawn towards their female friends."

Now that he thought about it, Yuri did remember seeing his XYZ and Synchro counterparts accusing each other of kidnapping their respective female friends. It further proves how strong their connections are regardless of what dimension they originated in. Although Yuri and Celina met each other a couple years ago and haven’t had that much of a bond, that connection is still there, and with the fate of the dimensions on the line, it may be time to put it into good use.

"Well, if you insist, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to...ugh...ask them for help," Yuri said.

"Thank you for cooperating," Cat Dancer said.

At that moment, Sora returned to the room with a bag full of candy. "Who're you talking to, Yuri?" he asked.

"What?" Yuri asked. "You don't see them?"

"See what?" Sora asked in response.

Yuri wasn’t sure how to explain this since this was the first time he ever saw Duel Monster Spirits; the only ability he knew he can do was communicating with Starving Venom. Was this an advanced version of this ability where he can also see him and other Duel Spirits? Were a selected few aware of this as well mainly because they possess it too? He was hoping this wouldn’t be too long of an explanation; for all he knows, Reversed Academy could be arriving at any minute.

Back at the Battle Royale, a duel was taking place on the outskirts of the Ancient and Jungle Zones. A well-known chef and Duelist named Reed Pepper was currently locked in a heated battle against Syrus with Yuya’s whereabouts on the line. His Cookpals were holding up surprisingly decent against Vehicroids; of course, this duel wasn’t even over yet because Syrus was getting ready to unleash his ace Joker monster.

"What a pity," Syrus said. "Your Cookpals appear to be the strongest monsters I have ever faced." A sinister grin appeared on his face. "They're perfect for Link Joker to influence."

"Link Joker?" Reed repeated, trying hard to stay calm. "What's that?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough," Syrus answered. "With the Spell card Joker Fusion, I combine the two Cycroids in my hand to bring out a new type of monster: a Fusion-Joker hybrid known as Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse!"

As the name suggests, Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse is the Link Joker counterpart of Pair Cycroid. Resembling more of a two-up-seated motorcycle than a tandem bicycle, its design consisted of a white and dark gray color scheme with yellow and red linings, gray, robotic hands, blinkers that were light green on the front and magenta on the back, blood red eyes, and the red-lit black halo behind it. It is also a Grade 2 Machine-Type Joker-Fusion monster with 1600 ATK and 1200 DEF. Its Fusion materials must be two monsters with the same name in order for it to be Fusion Summoned. It can also attack its opponent directly but—much like Life Force—leave a damaging effect on life points, hence its given name.

"Now I activate Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse's special ability!" Syrus continued. "Since I used two monsters to summon it, I can Lock two of your monsters! I Lock Royal Cookpal Prince Curry and Royal Cookpal Princess Pudding!"

"Lock?!" Reed repeated. "What are you-"

Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse revved its engine and launched two black halos towards Prince Curry and Princess Pudding. The two monsters became trapped and surrounded by black electricity when they were soon swallowed up by bright light that reverted them to their card forms. The light then encased each of them in two, black, electric spheres with two black orbiting rings. Reed was baffled by what had just happened and one glance at his Duel Disk left him speechless at the sight of his monsters in face-down defense position.

"Don't bother touching your cards," Syrus said. "When a monster is Locked, it loses all of its stats and abilities until the end of your next turn."

"That's alright," Reed said, looking back at his remaining monster. "I activate Royal Cookpal Knight Pasta's special ability-"

"I don't think so," Syrus interrupted.

"Huh?" Reed asked.

"It's Joker Fusion's secondary ability," Syrus explained. "By banishing it from my Graveyard, your remaining monster is also Locked."

Joker Fusion soared out from the Graveyard portal and lit up before disintegrating to let Reed know it was banished. Once that was done, a black ring materialized around Knight Pasta and Locked him into place alongside Prince Curry and Princess Pudding.

Reed looked deeply surprised. "I can't believe it..." he said. "You're the second person to defeat my Royal Cookpals, but I've never seen these tactics! What are they?!"

"These are Joker monsters," Syrus answered. "They're combinations of Duel Monsters and Units. They have abilities like typical Duel Monsters, but they also have skills that give them advantages when monsters are Locked. For instance, Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse has two skills. The first one deals you 400 points of damage for every Locked monster on the field."

Three Locked monsters meant 1200 points of effect damage will be dealt to Reed. With each Locked sphere unleashing 400 damage each, they all zapped black bolts of electricity at him to lower his Life Points. Of course, like Syrus said, this was only just the first of Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse’s two skills.

"But that's not all," Syrus continued. "With Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse's second skill, it can attack you directly for every Locked monster on the field."

Reed was alarmed with that information. "That's..."

"Far more than 2800?" Syrus interrupted, referring to Reed's current life points. "That's the power of Link Joker. Now go, Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse! Finish off this duel once and for all!"

Life Pair Cycroid - Reverse charged up its motor and accelerated towards Reed for a triple direct attack. Each strike and blow lowered his Life Points by 1600, giving him no time to react after it kept passing him; by the time the third attack was done, the 4800 damage points had completely depleted his Life Points and secured an easy win for Syrus, who was eagerly and sadistically anticipating the result of dueling someone with the Link Joker archetype.

Suddenly, the dark red aura of the Reverse started to surround Reed. "What's going on?!" he demanded. "Are you even part of the tournament?!"

"Of course not," Syrus answered. "Now become one with the Reverse!"

Reed shot open his usually shut eyes out of petrified helplessness to reveal his grayish purple irises glued onto the surrounding aura sucking him deeper into the Reverse’s influence. Within seconds, his pupils and white highlights vanished as his eyes obtained a soulless demeanor and red markings faded in underneath his lower eyelids.

At that moment, Reed's newfound friend, a Duelist named Trout, ran over to him. "There you are!" he exclaimed. "I know we're supposed to be allies, but you can't run off like that!"

However, Reed didn't respond. "Reed?" Trout asked. "You feeling alright?"

Reed looked over at Trout. "Are you...a strong Duelist?" he asked.