#everyone is obsessing over the new companions meanwhile me:

[zaahvi]

GLORY TO THE RISEN GODS

[doodle-zombie]

Lamia Bonding Drama

Finished RP with @theriverpersonshadow that turned into an absolute monster once we both sat down and started it. I think we finished this in under a week? The final word count is...25,546 (after some editing by me).

The only warnings that may apply are for language. If anyone has any triggers please let me know.

It's so long that it's under the cut.

Caring Coils was having one of its community events this week. While the shop was always open to the public (within business hours), the weather had been nice lately and they’d managed to rent out some outdoor space in a local park. The Lamia were absolutely loving it, in their own ways: a hoard of miniature pygmies were chasing after an RC car “driven” by a bitty Papython and actually driven by a Honeybo, the trees were draped with various Lamia but especially Chains, one of the larger rocks in the area had become a community nap pile for Cornies, and no small number of Kraits (and Oozy) were enjoying the pond as a few Mambas terrorized/were terrorized by the local goose population, thankfully far from the rest.

Nikolai was a mixture of happy and absolutely harried, trying to keep track of everyone who’d come. Some Lamia had opted to stay inside, like Hux, and some were too young (Piper was allowed to come, barely), but the park was absolutely teeming with various Lamia. It made his soul swell to see them so happy, but also, he probably needed to deal with the goose situation on top of general PR.

Keith was hanging out near the edge of the park, draped in a tree and soaking up some sun rays. Trousle was hanging with him - pun intended - and looking at the humans as they passed into the park, chirping out hellos with his little speaker. Piper, meanwhile, had claimed a bird nest as “his” and was enthusiastically showing it off.

“Oh! Look! That human has one like you!” Trousle said, tugging lightly at Keith.

Keith looked over towards Val, giving a wave. “Yo, nice to meet ya. Name’s Keith.”

“Look! I’mma mom!” Piper chirped loudly as his little lungs(?) could manage. This is clearly a child in a bird nest.

“Hello human!!!”

*

Valerie adored her boys and did whatever she could to make them happy but this was, admittedly, more for her than it was for any of her boys. She had joined tons of different groups geared towards Lamia, including a site that allowed her to see when a center was having any special events, and she stalked those sites when she had a few minutes to herself. It was through her obsessive need to stay on top of all things Lamia related that she heard about a center that was having a community day.

And it was open to the public.

Marmalade watched, so in tune that he picked up on her excitement before any of the other boys, as she prepared for a trip. It wasn't too far but it was enough distance that she was careful to pack a cooler full of snacks and blankets to create a nest in the back of the van. Because it was a given that Currant would be tagging along and Sangria would be the guardian of the property while she was away. His Mamba brother took his duties incredibly serious and he had a prankster Corny to watch over and a recovering Pygmy to take care of. Val left instructions on what to do if she wasn't back within a few days, leaving behind a phone she'd picked up just for them.

None of them liked to be away from her with no means of making sure she was alright, Marmalade didn't blame them.

Despite being the largest in the house, Marmalade had made no secret of his desire to go with Valerie and Currant on their trip. He coiled on the back seat, soaking in the light and enjoying the breeze, while Currant claimed the front seat with a nest carefully crafted. Val filled the trip to this community day with belting along to whatever song played, nudging Currant until he joined in and beaming at Marmalade in the mirror until he went along with their shenanigans.

Stars, he adored his bondmate.

Their arrival was met with little fanfare. Currant wanted to stay in the van, unwilling to risk getting lost or injured by whatever was going on at the park, and the windows were left cracked for his comfort. Val gave his skull a pet and eagerly left the car behind, Marmalade tagging along at her side. It was clear that all the Lamia were enjoying their time outside and he snickered at the sight of a cluster of Mamba trying to assert their dominance over a flock of geese.

Sangria would have been absolutely delighted to show the smaller Mamba how to go about proving their superiority.

Marmalade found his gaze drawn to his fellow Chains, draped across tree branches like, particularly strange vines. Val must have felt his curiosity because her gaze was also drawn towards the trees and she gave a delighted squeak. Her soul pulsed back pure joy at him.

"'sup," he drawled, acknowledging Keith's greeting. "'m marmalade."

"Ohmystars," Val breathed, clutching her chest. "You are just the cutest little thing."

Which Lamia was she talking to? Well, all of them if Marmalade had to guess.

"y'all don' get out often, do ya?"

*

"Not really! It's big out here!" Trousle said. If he was being honest with himself, it was kind of overwhelming. Thankfully, Keith didn't seem to mind hanging around with him, and it was nice having a familiar face as he tried to get used to it. Mostly he worried about how his speaker would work. It was small enough to be portable... for a normal-sized person, but it'd be a pain trying to carry it around at his size. But there was plenty to do just here! People to talk to, things to climb and play around in, it was all so much and it was great!

"They say 'm too lil. But I'm not! Not a hatchling! Nuh-uh!" Piper said. He grinned down at this human and looked at "his" eggs. He couldn't actually keep these, so... He slithers down to Valerie's level, tail wound around a tree branch while he makes grabby hands her way. The little one looks like he's got some scales stuck to his skull and arms, but a closer look reveals that they seem to be growing there (though might be in a shedding phase right now too, based on the flakiness). He chirped for her, little tongue darting out to catch the taste of the air.

Keith just chuckled at the little one. "Nope. What can I say, I've got my dice inside." He yawned and readjusted himself on the branch, muscles rippling as he found another position. "But it's pretty nice out here honestly. At least right now. It gets dang hot sometimes." Which might explain why there didn't seem to be many Firerings. While they probably would've enjoyed the usual summer heat, it'd be uncomfortable or even possibly deadly to those around them. "Heh, where y’all from anyways? I don't know you." The other Chain's scent was unfamiliar to him, and they were kind of the place to get a well-cared-forlamia in the state. Marmalade might've been a little roughed up from hunting in the woods, but he didn't really have the look of a rescue, and the linger scents were new too.

*

"nah," Marmalade teased, sockets narrowing as he smirked. "yer jus' small."

And adorable. Marmalade was so accustomed to being around smaller Lamia that he felt an instant need to protect any smaller Lamia around him. Lapis was the smallest at home and Marmalade often kept him safe from predatory birds and other larger creatures that might make a snack of a Lamia. Keith keeping Trousle close was something Marmalade approved of, it was what made Chains so reliable as companions.

"You certainly don't look like a hatchling," Valerie complimented, putting her hands out so he could slither onto her. Honestly, the spattering of scales upon his bones was beautiful. Val found the scales of Lamia to be incredibly pretty. If they didn't turn to dust when they came off, she would be tempted to collect them. "But your scales are really pretty! Currant would love you, he'd think you were a little gem."

Marmalade found Keith to be a little strange, for a Chain, but he figured that they couldn't go out into the woods from their center. It was the part he loved about his territory, there were so many huge trees he could climb and bask on. Plus, the rock that Sangria often showed off on when Valerie was taking a break from work. In fact, all the Lamia around here were pretty immaculate. He didn't see any signs of scars or any hints of lacking care.

"val drove us here," Marmalade shrugged. "we're a coupla states away, middle a nowhere. my home center was in a big city."

*

Trousle let out a breathy attempt at a "Nyeh", huffing. "That's not my fault! I was born small! I'm a good size for a Papython bitty too!" Though sometimes he did feel a little out of place with most of the DnD group being full-sized, but being small just meant he had more things to look at and slither into! More to explore, and a lot of puzzles just getting around!

Piper enthusiastically wound his way on there, letting out little chittering purrs as he accepted the compliments. "Thank you! You've got pretty too!" He was idly playing with the fabric of her clothing, but his eyes were on her hair. A stray strand caught his eyes and he zoomed up, pouncing for it and squeaking as he overshot, grabbing onto the back of Val's clothes as he fell. "I'm 'kay!" He said, little claws helping him climb up to her neck. With a little purr, he settled in against the warmth. "Smells nice."

Keith was gently stroking Trousle while watching Marmalade, curious about this other Chain. "Really? Huh... you're from far out, ain't ya? I haven't gotten around much myself. What can I say, I'm a bit lazy." That was a lie, partially. Part of him wouldn't mind getting out and about more often, see more of the outside, more of the world. He was old enough that he was pretty sure Nikolai could get some stuff sorted for him if he asked, but leaving would mean not living with Hux anymore, almost certainly. Hux didn't exactly want a human, and he seemed perpetually peeved at Alex...

"How'd you two meet anyways? I mean, like... How do you know?" He'd assumed he'd known, but Alex never said anything, so maybe he was just getting desperate. Could it work that way? Nikolai had assured him it couldn't, but he was too nervous to bring it up. What if she was avoiding it for a reason? "Ya seem pretty happy."

"Keith hasn't found his human yet," Trousle said.

Keith looked to the side, unwilling to dump his anxieties on the little guy. He wasn't leaving. Period. No reason to worry him.

*

"jus' kiddin', kid," Marmalade laughed. It had been a few months since he'd last been around a Papython, his home center had a high turnover rate for them, and those that were old enough to go tended to get adopted faster than he could learn about them. There was nothing wrong with Trousle, if you asked Marmalade, and he would have liked to talk more with the little guy. But Marmalade was a stranger to these Lamia and he didn't want to cause any fights by climbing into a tree with the Lamia here. "yer decent size. bigger than lapis at home."

Heaven. This must have been heaven. Valerie was very used to having a Lamia slithering on her, Lapis did it all the time, so she wasn't phased in the slightest by the little Pygmy darting around. She laughed as he zoomed, looking over her shoulder and putting a hand under where he was dangling. Affection filled her at his little compliments, her fingers gentle when she rubbed his little skull. "Thank you, sweetie."

Marmalade glanced over to Valerie, blinking as she cuddled with the small Pygmy. He could feel the waves of affection that were rolling off her soul in gentle waves. It wouldn't have surprised him if every Chain around could feel how much she adored the little guy. Well, he should have known she wouldn't be able to resist.

"you'd get along well with Currant then," Marmalade said, studying Keith carefully. Huh, a Chain that just... didn't know how to tell who his human was? At least Marmalade was used to offering advice, usually to his housemates. "she came in for a coral bitty, originally. an i jus' knew she was mine. soon as i saw her. she knew i was hers right after i bonded with her. val's more in touch with her soul now."

He looked at Val, the happy smile on her face as she pet the small Pygmy. "she's the best thing that happened to me. A real gentle soul, patient too. she even adopted the mamba from my brother clutch."

*

Trousle grinned, typing away. "Yes! And thank you! You seem good-sized yourself! I guess I'm just not used to being places where things aren't all bitty-sized. Well, other than the DnD table! And the humans. Humans tend to be human-sizedfor lamia, though children of course are smaller." All was forgiven, just like that. "It's good to meet you! Have I introduced myself? I'm Trousle! That little one is Piper, and this is Keith."

"You're welcome!" Piper chirped. He grabbed at one of her fingers, holding it to him to nuzzle against it. A few of his loose scales flaked off which was met with little sighs of relief - those had been itchy! "Like you! You like games? One time I got to be a dragon! I was the boss! Rawr!" He tries to roar, but it's squeaky and he devolves into giggles.

"Oh geez, that was sure an interesting session," Keith said, laughing at the memories. It was an absolute mess and it was amazing. "We let him join a DnD game once, he was my little Co-Dm."

"Mm hmm! I was the Boss!"

"He was also the dragon they fought... And the trickster god that our cleric summoned. Who immediately attacked his own follower."

"Was a mouse!"

"That it was." Alex had been playing a Mousefolk cleric and used a mouse toy as a token, so really that was almost set up that way, and it was hysterical.

Keith turned back to Marmalade, "I run a DnD game afterhours for some of my friends. Alex is a new girl, or was I guess? She's been visiting a while, seems pretty nice. Brought us Peanut butter and chocolate no-bake cookies, and wasn't gonna say no to that!"

"They were delicious!" Trousle said. "Liam tried to say he brought them, but he'd just stolen them! Nyeh! He's so silly!"

"He got caught pretty fast. But yeah," Keith said. "She, uh... seems nice. Like, real nice. But I don't think she thinks I'm anything special. Other than a good DM of course, and hey, what else can a nerd ask for?" He was hesitant to outright say it.

Sure, most of his friends were technically special needs in one way or another, but those were just surface level, right? Having a faulty soul-bond meant something was deeply wrong with him, not to mention he hadn't even tried until then.

Keith was idly clawing at the bark, muscles tensing and untensing as he slowly swung there, filling moments where he wasn't talking by humming the same few bars of a song.

If he was going to tell someone, maybe it ought to be them? Marmalade didn't ask for that though, and that's a lot to put on someone. But who else could get it and not have it get back to Hux? Nikolai had enough to deal with...

Nah, he was being silly. Might as well just enjoy the sunshine, if he could. "I'd offer to show you around, but I don't know the place much better. Plus it looks like part of the park is under attack by geese."

In the distance, Nikolai was trying to get some of the younger Mambas to leave the fucking geese alone while Liam tried to scare the geese into leaving the mamba alone. Oozy was making puns about this "fowl situation" while watching and being generally unhelpful.

*

Well, Trousle certainly made it obvious why Papythons were so popular. His temperament was excellent and things just seemed to roll right off his scales. It was a shame that Marmalade had never really connected with any Papythons when he'd been at the center still because they seemed like he would have gotten along great with them. "nyeh heh, thanks kid."

"Oh stars," Val squeaked, delighted beyond measure. She also took immediate note of his relief when several scales flaked away, revealing pristine blue beneath, and she gave soft scratches to areas that looked like they were ready to come away. "Oh, sweetheart, I love games! I bet you were the biggest, best dragon around!"

She feigned a shocked gasp at his attempt at a roar, grinning down at the little guy. Her heart was gone, he'd stolen it. All of these Lamia were adorable. As much of her attention as Piper had stolen, Val still didn't ignore Keith and Trousle. They were good with Piper, harnessing the chaotic energy of a young Pygmy.

"Every Lamia is special," Val refuted, cuddling Piper closer to her neck. "Maybe you should talk to Alex?"

Marmalade nodded along, giving Keith a curious look. He didn't know what DnD was but he knew about the soul and the bonds that Chains forged with their humans. Keith seemed awfully curious and cautious when it came to those bonds.

"you think you got the wrong human?" was Marmalade's astute observation.

"Oh!" Val perked, wide eyes turning to Keith. "You wanna stay with your friends, don't you? But you want a human too, maybe?"

Inevitably, her gaze was drawn towards the honking of geese. Not a sight that was common at home but nothing she had never seen before, either. It was certainly lively over at that side of the park!

*

Trousle nodded, “No problem!” He paused and typed more, tongue flicking as he did. “What’s it like where you guys are from? Do they have Papython there too?”

Piper was purring, rubbing against her hand both out of affection and in eagerness to shed some of his scales. He had stars in his eyes as he looked up to her. “Yeah! I love games too! I’m a great dragon! Mweheheh!” I dun hurt you though is ‘kay.” He gave her a little pat of reassurance. “Can only hurt the tokens. But I win good!” Piper made happy purrs and chitters, enjoying the warmth and affection. This was so exciting!!! “I special! You too!”

Keith couldn’t stay buried in his thoughts with that happening. A grin split his face. “Heh, hope you were looking to adopt.”

A twinge of jealousy rose up in Trousle’s soul, bitter and venomous, but he took a deep breath and swallowed it with a smile. He’d find someone one day. It wasn’t fair to hold it against Piper. Besides, he wanted to live closer to his friends anyway. “You can talk to Nikolai when he’s done with the geese if you’re thinking of taking him home! He practically owns the place. He’s the King.”

“Don’t let the fangs fool you. He’s basically a mom,” Keith said. “Gotta love him… Heh. You might get along, or else I need to get better at hiding things. Am I that obvious?”

Trousle looked up at him. “Alex is yours then?” He hadn’t known but wasn’t surprised either.

“I don’t know,” Keith said honestly, shrugging. “Thought I felt something, still do, but she hasn’t said anything, so I ain’t gonna force it. Besides, I’d rather keep hanging with y’all.”

“I appreciate it, but don’t stay just for my sake! You’ve been here longer than me! If you think you’d be happy with her…” Then he’d say goodbye.

“Ain’t my call anyways lil dude, but thanks,” Keith said. He turned back to the others. “I might just live here long as they’ll have the gang and me. Made peace with it a good while ago.”

*

This time it was Valerie who answered Trousle, happy to soothe the Papython that there was someone out there who would love him and take him home. "Oh, I see Papythons everywhere when I go into town! Everyone loves a Papython. You guys are super helpful."

She was quickly distracted by Piper once again, enthralled by how adorable he was. The point of coming here hadn't been to adopt but she wasn't going to rule it out, not when faced with a Lamia this adorable. Valerie had always assumed Pygmy were too energetic for her but Piper was just perfect. The right amount of energetic and sweet, with a little bit of snuggle tossed in. "A precious dragon," she beamed, "Oh, Admiral and Sangria would love you!"

Valerie laughed at Keith, keeping Piper close to her. "I'm not opposed! I have plenty of space at home... and toys. And I already have the perfect little bandana that would look just adorable on him."

"course ya do," Marmalade huffed, amused. "ya got a lil' bit o' everythin' at home."

"That I do!" Val agreed, smiling at Keith and Trousle. "I even brought a couple things to give out, if you want something Trousle. I think you'd look really cool in this little red scarf I bought. None of the Papythons at the other center were the right size for it."

"don' let val think she'd get along with a king," was the mumbled warning from Marmalade, his gaze mischievous. "she debated on a king or a mamba once. still don' know if she won' bring home a king some day."

Her answering laugh was completely unapologetic.

"Gotta say, Keith, if you feel like she's yours then she probably is. There's a lot of reasons a human wouldn't react. Maybe she doesn't have the space for you and all your friends but she doesn't wanna separate you?"

"don' count yourself stuck, keith. even if ya don' live with her she's still yours. an you're hers."

*

Trousle beams, puffing out his little chest as much as he can and showing off his scales. He's a bit too busy posing to type right now, but his grin is practically splitting his face. He nods enthusiastically at the idea of a little scarf. Wouldn’t he just look great?! Even greater than now, he wasn’t sure it was even possible!

Keith smiles down at him. "Yer pretty cool, y'know? Can't believe you haven't been scooped up yet. But hey, this way I get to keep ya. Wouldn't be the same without such a cool guy at the gaming table."

Trousle's face was bright orange. He attempted to hide it behind his hands, flustered, but he kept moving his hands to peek out.

Piper purred, too enthralled by Val to pay much attention to Keith and Trousle. "Yeah! 'm the best dragon. They love! And I love! Where they?" He looked over at Marmalade, squinting as he tried to figure out which one he'd be. "Sangria?"

Keith chuckled, "That's Marmalade." With so much happening, he didn't blame Piper for missing a few details.

"No. Sangria."

"That's not how that works...“ Trousle said.

"Sangria," Piper insisted, crossing his arms. Guess Marmalade's been renamed now, sorry dude. "Gonna play toys with Sangria! Mweheheheh! Toys toys toys! Yes yes yes!" He tightened around her neck - not nearly enough to hurt - in enthusiastic cuddles.

"He really likes you!" Trousle said. Feeling a bit bolder, he started winding his way down towards her and Marmalade too. Keith helped by stretching his arm out towards her for him. Dude wants cuddles too it seems like.

Keith's soul ached at the thought of Trousle leaving too, but Val seemed nice, and it sounded like he wouldn't be low on company. It was a bit early to call though. "I hope ya'll're right. I mean, she keeps coming back, so hey, that's a good sign! Just don't wanna come on too strong, y'know?" He turned to look over at the goose situation. Some park administrators had managed to catch and contain most of them, but Liam had the tell-tale sign of a successful hunt around his fangs. Good for him. Nikolai had redirected the younger Mambas towards something less destructive: showing off for humans with posing and play-fights. "If ya wanna keep the kiddo, you can talk to Nikolai or Maia, the old lady. She owns the place, but Nikolai's been keeping it running the last year or two. She's getting too old fer it."

*

Oh. Oh no. Trousle was adorable too and Val felt awful knowing she would gladly take him home too, away from his friends and so far from what he'd known that he might never be able to visit when they had their sessions. But Keith brought up a good point... why hadn't Trousle been snatched up yet? He was a sweet Papython, perfectly sized for apartment living but also the right size that he could help out around if he wanted.

Her attention was taken by Piper once again, cooing at just how sweet he was. Her poor heart couldn't handle all that adorableness. If she combined him with Admiral... Val would probably collapse from the combined cute of two Pygmy, even if they were different sizes. Her face actually hurt from how much she was smiling.

"I only brought Marmalade and Currant with me, Piper," she gently told him, grinning at Marmalade with waggling brows. "Sangria is my big Mamba, he's protecting the territory and making sure Admiral doesn't get lonely. But Sangria is so awesome I'm sure Marmalade doesn't mind."

Marmalade narrowed his eyes at her but it lacked any real heat. Sangria was a Mamba that defied his species, a far more tolerant creature that was essentially the den mother of all Lamia Valerie had at home. It wouldn't surprise any of them if Sangria was cuddled up, beyond exhausted dealing with Admiral and Lapis, when they got home. Val was good for them, he was somewhat surprised she didn't have a whole hoard of Mamba roaming around.

"I really like him too," Valerie told Trousle, offering a hand so he could join Piper on her. Papython cuddles were the best. And she'd only ever cuddled a few full-size ones! As much as she would have loved to take him home too, Valerie didn't feel like Trousle was destined to stay with her. Someone out there would adopt them all together, she could feel it. But she would never deny a Lamia some cuddles. "I should go get Currant, though. Don't want my grumpy boy to laze away in the car. It's about time to exercise, anyway."

"she probably feels somethin'," Marmalade shrugged. "i bonded with val as soon as i saw her. didn' wait a second."

"It's true," she laughed. "I walked in for a grumpy Coral and wham! Soulbonded to a Chain within minutes. I can kinda feel all my boys, now."

Valerie trailed off, not knowing how to ask Keith if he wanted to go to the car with her so she could get Currant and the things she could give to other Lamia. Marmalade saved her from having to ask, aware of her on a level deeper than anything she'd thought to have.

"wanna come with us to the car, keith? val wants to grab some stuff and trousle an piper are safest if she holds 'em. you can meet currant."

*

Piper nodded, "Mamba can be mean, but can be nice! Some go hiss, but others like hugs. Like Cobalt!" Cobalt was hatched around the same time. The little mamba could be protective sometimes, especially when some of the meaner mamba or corals teased him about his weird bone-scales. (The fact that Piper was quick to give affection and fawn over him miiiight've helped). "Can I meat Cur-Currant... Curry! Curry!"

Trousle slithered up Val's arm and draped himself across her in one big cuddle, clicking softly in a muted purr.

Keith smiled down at Val, she had such a way with the kiddos. If she ever needed a job, she could probably work here, provided she didn't try to adopt the entire store. And knowing that Alex might know something, well... Maybe he should have a chat with her. Lost in thought, he stretched himself out wordlessly in answer, winding down and placing himself next to Marmalade, ready to go meet Currant. Hopefully he'd be nice to Trousle, or they'd have a problem.

*

"Sangria is nice," Val assured Piper, knowing it was true. He could bluster and yell insults as much as he wanted but he was the first to investigate any noise, the first to take the others outside without her asking, and she had woke up on a few occasions to already thawing food for her boys. Piper would be adored at her house, she had no doubt. "We're going to meet Currant."

Marmalade was shamelessly snickering over Piper's nickname for the Coral, slithering along as she walked towards the van. It was a dirty thing, big enough to transport her collection of Lamia and the large amount of groceries she got monthly. Some curious Lamia had slithered close, likely to scent the new smells she'd brought around, and Currant could be seen in the front seat. His face was barely visible over the door, just eyes and the dome of his skull. Well, what wasn't covered by the blanket he'd been snuggled in. His deep red eye lights enlarged when he spotted Val.

Before they even got to the van, Currant was bolting out and winding around her legs. Val laughed, petting Trousle and Piper while Currant made himself at home around her ankles and knees. He shamelessly slithered up her legs and wrapped around her torso, clinging in the way he was used to. The fact she had other Lamia didn't bother him in the slightest. His purrs were deep and happy, gloved phalanges kneading in her shirt and sneakily petting Trousle and Piper.

"And this is Currant," she told Keith, completely wrapped in Lamia but loving it. Her current situation was nothing out of the ordinary, after all. "He's still a little anxious but he's such a sweet little gem!"

"spoiled, ya mean."

"jealous?" Currant grinned, both golden fangs on full display. "sup. 'm currant."

*

Safely riding on a human, Trousle looked around, trying to take in all he could of the big, wide world. And it was definitely big! It was hard to imagine that even this much existed! It was all so exciting! His tongue was flicking in and out, trying to catch every taste he could. Instinctively, he hissed when Currant moved so fast, rearing back, but let out little huffs as he laughed it off. His "voice" came from Keith's pocket as he said, "You startled me!"

Keith similarly had tensed up, not expecting the other to dart out like that, but relaxed just as quickly seeing Val react so well. "Aaaaw. Heh, he really likes ya. Man, he's a world different than Hux. Good to meet ya dude, I'm Keith."

"I'm Trousle! Er, I'm the Papython." Trousle said, leaning his head up to let Currant scratch some of his favorite spots.

"Oooooh! Curry! Curry's a Coral!" Piper gasped. He was partly hiding behind Val's neck, hoping that this Coral at least wouldn't make fun of him. Not that every single Coral did, but it was mostly corals. Still, he was getting pets, so maybe this one was a nicer one? His eyes closed as he let out happy little chirps, occasionally play-nipping at Currant's fingers.

Keith was just internally cooing. "Ya'll too dang cute. How dare. Geez..."

One of the local Cornies was trying to slither into Val's car, seeing a nice blanket and a warm, sunny nap spot, and a random Honeybo was trying to see if he could sneak stickers onto Currant's clothes.

*

Confined as she was beneath coils, Val couldn't do anything about the other Lamia clustering around. She made a careful mental note about the Corny but didn't attempt to prevent him from sleeping in the blanket pile, Lapis did just that. Before she left she would do a sweep of the van, to make sure she didn't have any tagalongs. Currant was well adjusted, careful work done to make sure he knew how to articulate and that he could always hide if it became too much for him. He was a far cry from the grumpy boy she'd brought home.

"sorry," Currant muttered, butting his nose against Trousle's back. "oh man, val! lapis woulda loved this."

"He would!" she chirped. "All the bitty Papython from his brother clutch got adopted out so I couldn't get one. He would love to have a Papy that would pester him awake, I just know it."

"maybe we can bring 'im next time," Marmalade shrugged. "make a day o' it. let everyone meet everyone."

"it'd be chaos," Currant deadpanned. "imagine sangria bein' around all these mamba? his tail is a lot nicer."

Well, Valerie didn't want to say that but she hadn't seen another Mamba with the same level of iridescence that Sangria had. Currant was drawn to Piper, the little Pygmy hidden from sight until a nip finally registered. Val mentally counted down, smirking with the knowledge that Piper looked like a true prize. Bright blue, even where his scales needed to shed, and so unique that Currant's eye lights swelled huge. He loved pretty, unique things.

"yer scales are pretty," he wheezed, shimmying closer to Piper. His instincts told him Piper was still young and he needed to shed those itchy, dull scales. So Currant just... gave a little lick. Val likened it to a mother cat bathing her young and it was adorable.

"Aren't they just the prettiest!" Val agreed. "All the others must be so jealous of such a handsome boy like Piper!"

*

Keith was helping that one Honeybo sneak stickers onto Currant. He was gonna be covered in glittery smiley faces and hearts by the time the conversation was over at this rate. Naturally, Keith regrets nothing about this... Okay, maybe he has one regret, but that's that they're stickering Currant like this and not Hux. It'd be hysterical seeing him turn red as he realized what had happened.

Trousle gives him a few little scratches in appreciation. "I might consider it! I'm just not sure about living so far away. Though I'd love to have a person! And it seems like you have quite the troupe!" If it weren't for the distance, he'd be on this faster than Liam was on a bowl of sour candies. "I'd love to meet him!" It was always nice meeting new friends! Or seeing old friends again, in some cases!

Keith chuckled, "I feel that. I wish I could vouch for Liam, but he can get a bit showy around other Mamba. I mean, and in general, but it's worse around his own. Though given that he was the only one to actually beat a goose, he might have a point." Sometimes Mamba and Kings were rented out for pest control... and occasionally Chains, when the pests in question were snakes.

Piper turned yet another gorgeous shade of blue in the face, partly covering his cheekbones as he squealed and chirped, not really sure what to do with all the sheer happy stuffed into his little body. Kid purred like a kitten as some of the scales peeled off, revealing the vibrant, fresh hues underneath. Shedding was always the worst, but also such a relief to get out of his too-small skin.

Keith mentally relaxed. Currant seemed like a pretty cool dude so far. "Dang you're too freaking sweet. Geez. Ya sure you didn't adopt a Papython?"

*

Currant was aware that he was being covered in stickers, this wasn't the first time he'd been on the recieving end of some shenanigans, but he had long since grown used to things like this. Val had taken great care in making sure he was capable of handling whatever could be thrown at him. She wouldn't let anyone tell her that he was too dangerous to go anywhere, his behavior would guarantee he made anyone that called him a menace eat their words. Grooming the young Pygmy was much more his speed, he tended to do the same with Lapis if he caught him in shed.

"Oh, Trousle, I know there's a human out there for all of you," Valerie assured him. She felt a little sad that she couldn't take every Lamia home... but maybe she could volunteer here, sometimes. "I'll bring Lapis next time. Even if I don't take you home you could always message him and be friends that way."

"ooooooh," Marmalade drawled, feeling the need to talk up his brother. "jus' a goose?"

"Marmalade, hush! They don't have a forest around here, not like Liam could hunt foxes like you and Sangria do. But I bet he'd catch one!" She didn't actually know if that was the case because she didn't know which Mamba was Liam but if he was anything like Sangria he would have a high prey drive. She had many hunted stuffed animals that were displayed around her home. "Piper... are you alright with Currant holding you? I'm going to grab some things."

Marmalade huffed, amused at Keith's comments towards Currant. "nah, he's a gremlin. val jus' hates how people talk shit 'bout currant when we go out so she helped him get better adjusted."

Said gremlin was carefully holding Piper, grooming the Pygmy with loud rumbles in his ribcage. Piper had Coral approval. Val opened the back of the van, grabbing a couple of bags that had some gifts she'd brought along. The whole reason she'd come to the park was to give some things to Lamia that didn't have homes. Marmalade took some of the bags while Val plucked a little red scarf out just for Trousle. It was made of a soft material and the shade of red was bright but not eye burning.

"You can have this, Trousle," Val announced, looping it loosely around him. "And you can help me hand out the other stuff! Maybe I have something for each of your friends."

*

Piper nodded, "Mm hmm! Like Curry! Is real nice." He was purring back, mostly letting Currant do his thing and thoroughly enjoying the attention, only squirming to give him better access to some of the scales that needed to come off. "Best Coral!"

Keith also felt the need to defend his own brother's honor, standing up and huffing, "I mean, if he hunted a dog, I think he would've gotten in trouble. People love those things! Also, have ya ever fought a goose? Those things will..." Shit there are children present. "They've got more teeth than we do. Some of which are on their freaking tongues. I have questions for whoever thought up geese, 'cause they're nightmare birds. Dude's pretty dang cool if ya ask me."

"Thank you, I'd love to meet him and see you again! But I'm not sure that anyone would want, well... Us. We're kind of weird, honestly. I mean, I'm mute for starters, and, well... But maybe there's a human that lives here, at least who could take me! Then I could visit a lot, probably! Or I guess I could live with Nikolai, but I think he wants to focus more on Maia right now." Trousle said. His head darted up as he caught a familiar scent. "Oh! Alex is here! Hi!"

Keith's soul skipped a beat as he looked over and saw her. "Howdy. Heh, good to see ya."

"Look! I just got a scarf!" Trousle wound the scarf around himself, arcing himself up to show himself off. The scarf fluttered in the breeze; he had stars in his eyes.

"Oh my gosh! That's so cute!" Alex squealed.

"Right? Heh, this is Val. She's from out of town."

"Oh! Good to meet you! I'm Alex. I'm from in town! Or at least from the suburbs."

Keith got a little closer to Alex, not enough to crowd her, but enough to feel close. "Wasn't sure if ya'd make it honestly."

"I've got Fridays off dude. 'Course I came!"

*

"heh, i like ya too kid," Currant mumbled, taking Piper's directions to heart and moving to a new patch of dull scales. Piper wasn't the first Pygmy that Currant had been around but he was the youngest and he needed to be protected and cared for. He was so invested in his task that he ignored Keith and Marmalade's posturing.

"we've hunted geese before," Marmalade snorted, puffing his chest out. "val don' care what we eat out in the woods. they're bears an stuff out there too."

Not that Sangria or Marmalade had hunted full grown bears but if they had snatched a cub or two from a mother before they ran her off. Well...

"Anyone who judges you for what makes you unique can get punched in the kidney," Val grumbled, momentarily sour over just the thought of anyone thinking ill of Trousle and his friends. "You'll get adopted, I know it. Sweet guy like you? Pfft, you'll find the best human out there."

Valerie was kind of nervous around another person but Alex didn't seem like a very mean person and she had similar taste in what looked adorable on Trousle. Anyone that could enjoy these Lamia as much as Val did wasn't capable of being a bad person. So she gave a little wave, petting Currant's head to soothe her own nerves.

"I'm Valerie," she greeted, tugging on her stretched lobes. "You can call me Val, though. Everyone else does. I was just about to hand out some presents to the Lamia here."

"we're from a few states away," Marmalade supplied. "'m marmalade, the coral is currant.... an it looks like we'll be adopting piper today."

"As soon as I hand out the gifts I'll look for Nikolai."

*

Piper absolutely beamed up at him, making the task of grooming him slightly harder as he insisted on trying to hug and give little nuzzles and licks to Currant's face. He was trilling in joy, already enamored with this big Coral who had decided he was a cute lil guy. Maybe he was going to get adopted! This was so exciting!

"Have ya ever wrestled a burglar? 'Cause I know Liam has. He ain't supposed to kill, so had to hold back on the venom and everything. Dude had a gun." Or, well, a taser, but Liam didn't find that out until after the police had already taken the guy into custody.

Trousle blushes, signing a quick thank you at her and sinking into the warmth.

"Really? That sounds terrifying," Alex said.

"Eh, you know how Liam is. He's a cool dude," Keith said. "Got him before the rest of us even realized we were in danger, he's just that cool."

"Heck yeah," Alex said. She looked at Piper being groomed by Currant and grinned, "Aaaw, they're really getting along, huh? Guess I won't be casting Divine Intervention anymore."

Keith laughed at the memory, "I don't think it ever actually helped."

"It was cute though!" Alex said. "But I'm glad he's getting someone. Little guy seems pretty happy! Trousle too. You thinking of adopting him?" There was a bit of an edge in her voice. She didn't want to admit that maaaaybe she'd been considering the little guy...

Keith swooped in, "Nah. He'd rather stay local."

Relief washed through Alex alongside guilt at being relieved, "Gotcha. Can't say I blame ya. It's nice being near friends, isn't it?"

Trousle nodded. "Maybe we can all get adopted together?"

"I'm sure someone would try!" Alex said. She was keeping a bit of a distance from Currant, which Keith noticed...

"This is Currant. Dude's a sweetheart to lamia and humans alike." He knew that she wasn't oblivious to Hux's opinions, even if she wanted to hang around the rest of them enough to deal with it.

Alex nodded, "Nice. Good to meet ya then!"

*

Currant finally seemed to twig to the fact that there was another person around, turning his large eye lights onto Alex for several moments while Piper nuzzled him. His teeth parted and he could smell her nerves, not an unusual occurence whenever someone happened to be around him. It wasn't even Currant's fault. Coral Lamia were known for their tempers and nobody would look at him and think he was different than his species. He made no move to attack, content to keep hold of Piper like Val wanted him to, but he wasn't instantly friendly either.

He just... stared. Gauging her.

"dude," Marmalade droned, looking incredibly done with the posturing already. "there's a reason Sangria is in charge of watching the house."

Which wasn't a lie. Val didn't often get trespassers on her proprty. Not ones that she was aware of, anyway. But there would always be people up to no good deep in the woods, where they thought nobody would find out what they wanted to do. Sangria and Marmalade had chased off their fair share of would-be burglars and wannabe hermits.

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab this little guy and take him home," Val booped Piper as she said it, enamored with his scales and his squeaks. "I would love to take Trousle, he's a sweetheart don't get me wrong, but I just feel that he's not for me. Ya know? I did wanna bring my Corny, Lapis, to meet him sometime! Maybe Admiral and Sangria too."

"'lo," Currant finally muttered.

"He really is a sweetheart, Alex," Valerie insisted, yanking her phone from her pocket and quickly scanning for pictures. She had plenty of snapshots of Currant and her other boys in various stages of absolute cuteness. Currant sleeping on Sangria's glittering scales, the Coral's blushing face when he got to eat his favorite snack, and the one memorable image she had of him dancing with her. "See? Corals are so sweet. Cute grumpy faces and all!"

"not cute," Currant grumbled.

"Cutest," Val sang, smooching his skull.

*

Keith realized he was going overboard a little and chuckled, “Guess ya got a point. Sorry, just think he’s pretty cool, y’know? Maybe ya’d like to meet him.” His soul twisted in sympathy for Currant. Poor dude… “Corals can be really sweet in general honestly, if ya can get through a layer or two of posturing. Currant seems better about that though.”

Alex grinned at the photos, bouncing a little in place at the cuteness. “Aaaaaw! That’s precious, oh my gosh. My heeeeeart!” She looked over at him, “Mind if I pet you? Sorry. Just not always good with people sometimes…”

Keith gave her a lazy hug from behind her, “Eh, ain’t for everyone.” He’d been around her enough to know that she at least couldn’t get along with Hux. She didn’t mean to, but she tended to rub Hux the wrong way. Though Hux sometimes seemed to be looking for reasons to snap at her. Still, what was he supposed to do? Kick out his soul-bond, or kick out his best friend?

“Yeah, but I just feel bad…”

“Don’t. Hux just ain’t great with humans. Currant is.”

*

Before Marmalade could comment on how it would be cool to meet another Mamba, Val piped up with an affirmative. "We'd love to meet Liam! He sounds super cool."

Currant puffed up at what he took as praise, knowing he was arguably the best Coral around. He still had his days where he tended to want his space but they were few and far between now. The people that wouldn't give him a chance just because he was a Coral were missing out. Alex had calmed down once she'd seen his general cuteness so he offered his head for a pet, making sure to keep Piper safely tucked against his chest.

"Don't feel bad about not getting along with everyone," Valerie tried to soothe. She didn't know Alex very well but she didn't want any awkwardness between their mismatch group. "I worked a lot with Currant. Maybe you won't ever be best friends with Hux but you can learn when he needs his space! It might not seem like a big step but it's something to keep in mind."

Marmalade nodded along, having plenty of experience with all kinds of Corals. Some were sweet and just couldn't communicate what they wanted but there were others that earned their bad reputation. Unfortunately, that bad reputation was more common than the good because they were such a naturally emotionally constipated Lamia.

"here we go..." Marmalade muttered.

"I have some stuff Hux might like," Val confessed. "If he's the type to enjoy a treasure hoard or blankets and stuff. I have a lot of Lamia stuff that none of my boys wanted so it should get put to good use!"

*

Keith grinned, “Oh yeah, he’s cool.” Being a lazy bastard who didn’t want to stop this conversation, he just texted Nikolai to send Liam this way.

Alex stroked Currant’s head, smiling. “You’re really good with these guys, aren’t you? I don’t think I have quite the same knack for it, but I like visiting and stuff! Nikolai lets me in the nursery sometimes and it’s absolutely precious! Baby Lamia are adorable!” She was bouncing on her feet again as she scratched underneath Currant’s chin. Piper was also getting in on the affection, giving Currant little pats and purring.

“He does have a little hoard, I bet he’d enjoy it! He can be kinda prickly though. Don’t take it personally,” Keith said. “He’s just like that.”

A Mamba of about average size came over and cleared his throat to announce his presence, splaying out to show off his scales as he set his head on his hands all sassy-like. “I heard I was called~?” He was keeping his good side towards Val and Currant, not that the hole in his skull was particularly noticeable, he was wearing his fitted mold today. It was a bit hard to make out the tacky substance holding it in place through the layer of bone-colored makeup, but he couldn’t hide that one of his eyes were dark.

Keith slithered over to cover Liam’s bad side out of protective instinct and habit. He was fairly certain there was no sneaking up on the dude anyways - he’d gotten crazy good at feeling vibrations in the ground - but it made them both feel a little better. “This is Liam.”

“Good to meet you~”

*

"I did a lot of research before I decided to adopt," Val admitted, plucking nervously at her sleeves. Currant was basking in the attention he was getting, more tolerant than blatantly loving having someone else patting him. Alex was gentle with her pets so he didn't attempt to pull away. The words coming out of Alex's mouth finally registered and she wished she could have stars in her eyes when she heard about baby Lamia. Her voice was an excited whisper. "Baby Lamia?!"

Marmalade and Currant both rolled their eyes at her glee, knowing that she should never be allowed to see the babies or they would never get her to leave. Valerie already adored bitty sized Lamia but if you added in babies... she would be a goner.

"we got some geodes," Marmalade told Keith. "coupla things that any coral would love to have in their hoard. currant don' collect 'em as much since his hoard got too big to fit 'em all in his nest."

A new arrival pulled Valerie's attention away from talk of babies and she brightened immediately. It might have been biased but she felt like Sangria's scales were a little glossier than Liam's, not that she would tell him that. She didn't react at all to the site of one darkened socket, used to Admiral's darkened socket looking in her direction. Marmalade was careful about how he slithered, not knowing how Liam might react to movement he couldn't see.

"You're a very handsome Mamba, Liam," Val complimented, the words nearly second nature after dealing with Mamba for so long. "The way you hunted was really impressive!"

*

Alex kept scratching, watching her hands instead of looking to Val as she said, “They’re SO CUTE! I’d offer to show you, but Nikolai might try to kill both of us… Keith took me there to meet him and I thought he’d bite my head off, but he apologized afterwards! He’s really protective of them though, like, murderously protective.”

Keith grinned, “Daaaang. He’s gonna love that! And if he’s pissy about it, I’ll gladly take them instead…” Subtle dude. Subtle.

Liam took good care of himself, but he couldn’t stand up to Sangria in size or shine. That said, he would absolutely try to fight Sangria anyways if given the chance.

Liam stood up, hands on his hips and chest puffed out, moving his tail to make his scales glimmer. “Glad to see someone can recognize a hunter around here.” There was still a bit of blood on his teeth where he’d bitten the goose and hadn’t completely managed (or wanted) to lick it away. “Do I smell another mamba on you? You’ve got good taste, but I bet I could take him.”

Keith sighed, “Liam, don’t…”

“I’m just saying!” Liam huffed.

“It’d a sight to see,” Alex said neutrally.

“How big is he anyways? Four foot?” Oh Liam noooooooo… He’s huge sweetheart.

“I maybe should’ve warned ya that he can be competitive with other mambas,” Keith said.

“It’s not my fault they’re all so spoiled.”

“You literally have plush pillows and a heated blanket in your enclosure,” Alex said.

“And I hunted them myself!” Liam said, arms crossed and grinning. “I can take care of myself just fine, unlike those little pipsqueaks. Losing to a goose, hah!”

Keith was realizing he should’ve let Liam cool down more first. He’d just proved superiority over his breed and wasn’t gonna shut up for a while, was he?

*

"Oh, I don't want to make Nikolai angry! I'd ask first, of course." She might not have had any experience with Kings but she knew that anyone who was charged with protecting babies would have their instincts dialed up to max. Add on the fact that some Mamba would gladly eat the babies... she didn't blame Nikolai for getting angry that Alex had been brought around the younger Lamia without him approving it beforehand. Piper was close enough to a baby for her, for now, and that was all she needed if she wanted to be able to leave. "I'd never leave if I saw them now."

"if he don' take 'em he's got awful taste in treasure," Currant grumbled, giving Keith a grumpy look. Yeah, he was onto you buddy.

Now Liam had touched on a weakness of Valerie's. She loved to talk about her boys and Sangria was among the prettiest Lamia she had ever seen. Sure, he had knicks and scars from his tousles in the woods but she still adored how he shined in the light. When Liam mentioned smelling another Mamba on her, well, she lit up. Marmalade chuckled, knowing she was almost as bad as he was for bragging about Sangria. Nevermind the fact that Liam was declaring he could fight a Mamba larger than himself. It would be funny to see them posture at each other.

"Oh, don't worry! Sangria, that's my Mamba, is pretty good around other Lamia so I wouldn't worry." She giggled at the guess at Sangria's size, finding the isea of a Mamba that small to be hilarious. Liam was shorter than Val was tall! "Oh no, Sangria is seven feet long. Or there about!"

"maybe a few inches longer," Marmalade tacked on.

"Maybe," was Valerie's agreement. "Sangria protects the house and the property. I live on a couple of acres of forested land and it would really suck if I had wild animals stalking me when I went outside!"

She may or may not have been teasing Liam, just a little, to see how riled she could get him. Just enough he might show off some more!

*

“Oh definitely,” Alex said. “He probably wouldn’t say yes until he knows you better though.”

“Not gonna lie, that first meeting was me being dumb. Shoulda told him I was bringing her, but still took a few months,” Keith said.

“Oh yeeeeeeah! Nick went HISSSSS!” Piper said. “I was there! Mm hmm!”

“Were you one of the ones curled on him?” Alex asked.

“Mm hmm! Was hiding. Am a sneaky!” Piper said, hands on his hips.

“Ya sure are kiddo,” Liam said, giving the world’s gentlest fistbump to the kid. He moved around a little, getting a look at the car and taking in some of the scents, curious about this new place, aaaaand… “Are these what you were talking about? I might keep them for myself honestly.” Liam had 100% actually stolen the geodes while you were watching him, somehow. He’s the real sneak.

“Liam no,” Keith said, trying to stifle a laugh. “I called them first.”

“Finders keepers~” He held the rocks to his chest, sticking his tongue out at poor Keith. “I bet that Sangria can’t manage that. Maybe he’s bigger, but I could slither circles around him! He wouldn’t even know what hit him! Size isn’t everything, after all.”

Keith couldn’t help himself, “Then why is Nikolai the only one who can tell ya what to do and you listen.”

Even from here, it was plain to see that Nikolai was on the larger end of the spectrum for Kings, a good foot or two larger than even Sangria.

“His bite is worse than his bark, when he chooses. I’m not suicidal,” Liam said. “He’s worse than anything that could possibly be in your woods! Just let me come over one day and I’ll make the whole forest bow to me!”

“Huh, I thought he was playing a Sorcerer, not a Druid,” Alex said.

“… no fireballs irl,” Keith said, secretly a little terrified by sudden mental picture of Liam with fire magic… or a flamethrower.

“Not yet at least!” Liam said, almost certainly unable to actually follow through with that threat. “I just need to trace myself back to a dragon…”

*

"That's fine, I'm probably gonna come back a few more times!" Considering she was looking to take Piper home, she wouldn't deprive him of coming back to visit the place he'd called home for the start of his life. She may have hated interacting with people in large number but being surrounded by Lamia was leagues better than that. It helped that these guys were all hilarious. Valerie had only passing knowledge of DnD so she kept that to herself, lest they assume she was going to be able to come and join their games. Sure, that would have been fun but...she lived too far away and worked too much for it to be consistent.

Currant was slightly wary when Liam got close to Piper, edging back just a hair, but the little Pygmy didn't seem anxious so he kept his hissing to himself. He did end up scooting backwards a little so his tail could coil around Valerie's legs once again. Unlike his first meeting with Sangria, Currant wasn't mesmerized by the sight of Liam's scales.

"Are you sure you want the geodes?" Val asked, biting her cheek to keep from grinning. She wasn't surprised that Liam had managed to grab the geodes, those had been with Marmalade and her Chain was always weak for the wiles of a Mamba. It was a good thing she had kept the Mamba specific treats. "I mean...I was going to give you a bag of candy."

"warheads," Marmalade tittered, knowing her usual bribe when she wanted to convince Sangria to do something. "she woulda got toxic waste but sangria thinks the package is ugly."

"Sorry, Liam, I think Piper is the only dragon here." Val outright laughed, petting Piper along the length of his spine. "Actually confirmed dragon. The best dragon."

All this talk of Kings was making her want one, deep in her mind, but she knew that Sangria wasn't ready for another large and possibly aggressive Lamia.

"But you guys could come over to see the forest, if you want. So long as you had permission to leave."

*

"Bring your Corny next time! He was... Azul?" Trousle said, drawing a blank on the name. He remembered it had to do with blue at least? "I'd love to meet him!"

"And I'll gladly settle it on who'd win," Liam said. "It'll be me, of course, but he can certainly try!" He was internally considering the trade... The geodes were gorgeous, of course, but sour candies. His mouth was already salivating, and catching the scent on his tongue didn't help in the slightest. "I think that'd be a fair trade..." Liam said, keeping his eye trained on the delicious candies while he handed back the geodes. The second they were in his hands, he bolted away a few feet, intent on keeping his prize. Immediately he ripped the bag open, sticking a candy in his black-coated mouth and crunching down on it. He took more time with the next candy, letting it dissolve to savor it, but he kept the pack on his good side, just in case any of the smaller upstarts got any funny ideas...

Piper chirped happily, "Yeah! Yeah yeah! I'm the best dragon! RAAAWR!!!" He pretended to breathe fire, wiggling lightly in place.

"Wouldn't mind getting out a little more. Real trees are way better than fake ones," Keith said.

"I'll decimate it," Liam purred. "I'll ask about it. It'd be nice to get to stretch my tail. Rabbits and geese are nice and all, but I've always wanted to go after a wolf. Or maybe a buck!" They wouldn't just let him loose on the countryside to roam free, or he'd try catching one in the state (plus there were laws and legal issues about it), but if he was temporarily under the jurisdiction of another....

*

"Lapis?" Valerie reminded. It was a point in his favor that Trousle even remmebered that her boys were usually named after colors. Obscure colors were something she took great delight in making into names. "I'll bring him! I would have brought him along this time but he'd have eaten the snacks I brought for the Cornies here."

Although it was looking like Trousle and all his friends were going to be getting everything she'd brought! It was nice to have her presents appreciated. Particularly when Liam made the trade for the candies and she was once more in possession of the geodes. She could see a few Mamba with their tongues flicking, likely already aware of the treats, but Liam seemed intent on keeping them all to himself. Sangria was similar at first, hoarding his sour prize away from anyone else, but now that he was the only one in the house that ate sour candy he was less aggressive about it.

Currant cooed at Piper, nuzzling him. Marmalade made a dramatic attempt at ducking the pretend fire, a hand over his soul and widened eyes. "whoa, kid. watch the fire."

"an then there's the baskin' rock," Currant whispered, giving the coveted rock its due by his hushed tone. "'s right outside val's work window, gets light all the time."

"sangria loves that rock."

"I certainly have a lot of trees," she told Keith. "Caves too, decorated for whenever the boys need some space and wanna sleep outside. And no neighbors so...you could absolutely hunt whatever you wanted, Liam."

Valerie didn't know the particular laws about hunting local wildlife but she'd made sure that her local rangers knew she had Lamia that hunted in her woods. Of course, she also kept plenty of contacts so she could purchase live food if they didn't go hunting.

*

"Yes, him! I'll get it sometime!" Trousle said. "Understandable too! Leave some for Oozy! I think he's in the lake right now."

That Corny who had previously been napping stirred upon hearing that there were snacks for cornies. "Mine?"

Liam was absolutely keeping these all to himself, just as he always did. One of the younger lamia - not quite at their adult height yet - loudly called him out on it... So he sat on him, cackling and putting another candy in his mouth while the smaller one screeched... But there were multiple mamba in one place. There was no stopping the swarm. They'd smelled candies and saw them in the hands of That Jerk, so it was a matter of seconds before they put aside their differences and all decided to tackle and constrict Liam at once. A dozen or so bony hands all scrabbled for the remaining candies as Liam screeched about dishonor, cheating, and betrayal.

Keith was laughing his ass off and being of absolutely no help whatsoever. Alex was trying to hide it, but she was absolutely laughing too.

Piper saw the action happening and tried to wiggle over, not wanting to be left out of this game.

*

"I'll tell him all about you," Valerie promised. She gave a delighted little sound, bringing out the little melonpan she normally reserved for Lapis (and herself, she loved the ones with custard inside). They were a little big for bitty sized Corny Lamia but Lapis had never seemed to care about that and she doubted her little stowaway would. "Here you go, a token of confection that's Corny approved."

Marmalade, Currant, and Valerie all turned to the Mamba shenanigans and none of them attempted to hide their amusement. Looks like the pack had decided to overthrow their ruler when it came to the unfair division of the coveted sour candies. She had expected something like this but Sangria had only been convinced to part with one bag of his favorite, all the other sour things she had were less sour. It didn't make them less sought after among Mamba, or so she'd found, so she set the bag down for perusal.

"careful, kid," Currant said but he didn't hold Piper back for long. A Pygmy that wasn't allowed to zoom could become quite the sassy thing. Despite letting Piper go, Currant stayed close by in case he needed to snatch him away from a bad situation.

"guess we should summon the hoards to get their gifts," Marmalade said. "before we get swarmed like liam."

*

The stowaway very much didn't care! He was a snake, and he'd stuff himself as much as he could! Sometimes. When wanting sweets overcame being lazy at least. Caught up in the treat, he took a minute to notice the pun, but he broke into a grin and started laughing into the treat as he did, falling into a happy, laughing lump. He couldn't even top that! "Like you!"

Liam whined as his rightful treats were stolen from him. He managed to shake some of the mamba off, but it was hard when they were ganging up to beat him! "Not fair!" He could take two, maybe three, but there were at least six!

Piper zoomed over to help tame Liam, making little roars and holding onto his arm, play nipping his clothes. He was being no help whatsoever, but was sure having fun doing it!

Alex nodded, "Oh yeah. I don't wanna get caught in the snake swarm. Or at least not in this way."

*

Honestly, Valerie felt a flood of warmth in her chest at just how happy the Corny was. He made her miss Lapis, knowing her little prankster would have been punning away at her. Lapis was the whole reason she'd gotten so deep into pun hell in the first place. She couldn't resist petting his little head, expression going soft and fond. "Thanks, bud. I like you too."

Currant huffed, sparing a warning glance towards Val so she didn't get any funny ideas. Lapis was already a massive handful when he got into the mood to dish out chaos, they didn't need him to have a partner in crime. Speaking of pranks... Lapis would likely have a lot of chaos to rain upon the inhabitants of this adoption center.

Marmalade took the initiative to wrap the geodes into his coils so they wouldn't be snatched up. The bags had other shiny things that some of the Lamia might enjoy hoarding but the geodes were going to be offered to Hux first. And if Hux didn't want any then Keith would get to take what he wanted, provided Liam didn't get them first. Once they were safely tucked away in his grip, he nodded at Valerie.

"Hey!" she called, hands cupped around her mouth so she could gain the attention of every Lamia around. "I got some presents! Candy, blankets, and anything you might want."

Then...then she braced for the swarm. And oh, what a swarm it was.

*

HOPE YOU WERE PREPARED FOR THE SWARM.

Alex stands a bit away, having fun watching but a little overwhelmed at even the idea of being in the middle of all that... No thanks. Keith cuddles her by the sidelines, content to watch as well. Piper is chirping back at all the lamia, going absolutely nuts trying to catch absolutely everyone. Pygmy or not, he'll definitely need a nap when all this is over. Liam nurses his wounded pride off to the side.

The sheer numbers of the swarm draws over Nikolai, though he hangs back and lets the rest take their picks. He's very well cared for, after all. He just waits until the herd thins to introduce himself. "Good to meet you. I'm Nikolai, vice manager of the company." His eyes dart over to all the happy lamia playing with toys, blankets, snacks, and his soul just absolutely melts. "You've made them quite happy. Thank you. It's good to meet you." He gives a little bow, bringing himself slightly lower than Val's level. Dude's absolutely huge, about twelve and a half foot total, and standing a little over six feet tall.

He'd probably be more intimidating if there weren't a handful of bitty kraits peeking out from his pockets, a mini-corny napping around his neck, a young chain wound around one of his arms, and a full grown honeybo deciding to be a cheeky bastard and flop down right over his tail.

"This would be the local mom-friend," Keith said. "I will say outright, you can't take him home with you. He lives with Maia already."

"That I do. She's having a lovely time really, it's good to see her getting to be out and about like this, and she's having fun seeing everyone else outside too." He spoke warmly of her, body relaxed as he turned to wave at her. She was sitting on a bench with a corny curled up next to her like a scaly house cat.

*

Valerie was completely prepared for the pure chaos. Toys getting snatched up and tossed around, blankets disappearing and reappearing in suspicious lumps, and the steady stream of content sounds that meant the candy and junk food snacks had been well received. She didn't back away when the swarm hit, used to being in the mix of large crowds. Currant was darting after Piper, keeping the Pygmy in his sights, but he lacked the energy to keep up that pace for very long. Marmalade tolerated the small hoard that had decided he made a good perch to get higher.

Nikolai is slightly intimidating by his sheer size but his tone and expression are both incredibly relaxed. It's easy to forget that he could very easily decide to take a bite out of her or drive her off. As much as she would have loved to fawn over him, Valerie kept her interaction with Nikolai friendly and semi profressional. Keith had already mentioned that Nikolai helped Maia so it had been easy to guess that he must already have a home.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm Valerie." She can't resist leaning forward to quietly greet the Kraits that she saw peering from Nikolai's pockets. He certainly looked like a mom, with all sorts clamoring over his bulk. "It's my loss but I don't think Sangria is ready for me to bring another large boy home."

Now she found her nerves kicking in, nails lightly scratching at her left wrist until Marmalade grabbed her hand. Their bond pulsed gently with confidence, his soul telling her that she could do this.

"Keith was telling me that I should talk to you about adopting Piper," she finally rushed out. "Sorry. How could I say no to such an adorable guy?"

*

The kraits waved back. Mostly. One got shy and hid his face, he seemed younger than the rest, not used to strangers at all yet.

Nikolai spotted the little one and smiled, “I see you’ve adopted before.” His tongue flicked out, but he couldn’t even hope to pick out what all Val had after that swarm. It was a jumbled mess of tastes that felt so very much like home. “And they look to be getting along well too. It’s always for the best when people bring their Lamia and/or pets, that way we can be sure they’ll get along, but I see we’ll have no issues.”

Piper was trying to keep awake, wanting to be part of the fun, but all the excitement was starting to tire him out. He was wrapped loosely around Currant and yawned, doing that thing kittens do when they try to fight sleep. His head bobbed up and down, eyes fighting to stay open, but sleep was intent to steal him.

Nikolai couldn’t help but coo over it, “Aaaaw. Nyeheheh. I knew Piper wouldn’t be staying too long, but he looks pretty happy, and you seem to know what you’re doing.” He wasn’t willing to completely streamline the process, but honestly? She seemed perfectly ideal, provided… “I will say that he might need a bit of extra care for his scale condition. The scales on his bones might shed more frequently or out of synch with the rest, that’s nothing to be concerned about. Likewise, it’s not unheard of for scale patches to flake off entirely, though the area where it was might be softer and more prone to infection or injury for a day or two. But it’s equally likely he might grow more scales over his bones. The areas where bone and scales meet do get irritated sometimes, especially since dirt likes to get stuck there. Clean it carefully with a q-tip and apply ointment and he’ll be fine.” It was his first priority, after all, yo make sure he was cared for. “We have a spare tube of the cream we’ve been using on him. If you’ll come inside, you can have it for free, my treat.”

He turned to look at the honey-bo half-assedly pretending to be asleep (he had one eye peeked open, looking right at him, and was grinning), rolled his eyes, and gently removed him.

Piper had utterly lost the fight against sleep, completely conked out while snuggled with Currant.

Alex took a picture. How could she not?

*

As adorable as the Kraits were, Val was careful not to overwhelm them with her attention. She didn't want to risk paying one so much attention they got sad if she didn't take them home with her. Besides, Nikolai was talking and it felt more important to hang onto what he was saying.

"Yeah, almost all my boys are adopted from a center but I do have a rescue." Nikolai had a way about him that made her more willing to talk about Admiral than she had before. "My full-size Pygmy, Admiral, was given to me by some kid at a park. His family was using him as a free babysitter and one of the kids cracked his eye open, so his left socket is empty. He's come a long way since then."

Piper's crash came at a perfect time. Currant was also getting tired but far older and capable of resisting passing out after some play. He pet Piper instead, hoping to ease him into sleep easier. Poor guy was likely going to deal with similar crashes for a while once he met Sangria, the Mamba had the most energy out of any Lamia Currant have ever met.

"I figured he would have some special needs," Valerie admitted. She didn't know what the condition was but she had noticed Piper had scales on his bones that seemed itchy but it didn't seem he was in a full shed. The grooming necessary wasn't anything she didn't already do for Sangria, though it would likely take far less time for Piper. "I already have a brush to get dirt from scales, my Mamba insists on being groomed at least twice a week so I have tons of supplies I can use for his scales. I can always message you if I have more questions about how to care for his scales."

Since all the gifts had been handed out she put the bags into the van and closed it up again, grabbing Currant so he could once more settle around her. He was grateful for the reprieve from having to slither after them when he was already tired. If Liam thought Mamba were spoiled he was in for the true spoiled boy of Val's.

Holding onto Currant had the added benefit of allowing her to keep an eye on Piper. "Lead the way."

*

“How many do you have, if I may ask?” Nikolai said. He asked partly out of curiosity, and partly to make sure she wasn’t getting into more than she could handle.

He hissed under his breath heating about Admiral, “Some people… ugh! I won’t say it’s the worst possible idea, I’m technically a service Lamia myself, but I’m certified, an adult, and, well… I’m well aware that I’m bigger than most people. But even then, there’s a difference between that and being a babysitter!” He did his best to keep his anger in check, well aware that he could be terrifying and not wanting to scare Val or anyone currently present. He sighed, trying to let some tension go, “I’m not mad at you of course. I’m mad at those imbeciles! But it sounds like he’s in better hands now. Do you think he’ll be okay having a little one around after that though? I know Piper isn’t exactly a human child, but…” He had to ask these things, of course.

Nikolai let’s her into the shop. It’s mostly empty, but there’s still a person at the cash register. A few Lamia run around the front, bitty and full-sized alike, but the vast majority are outside. A few chirp hellos at Val, some hide, everyone’s got their own thing.

Nikolai motions to let her further in, past a door saying “Full sized area” and then to a supplies closet. He pulls out a tube of cream and a little pamphlet. “Here. I’d had this prepared for whoever might adopt Piper. It gives a basic overview, some good links, and diagrams.” It’s got the name of the condition on it (whatever that is… names are hard) and is smattered with images of Lamia with scales growing over bones. One extreme case, a Krait apparently, had scales covering his full body.

Meanwhile, that Corny was absolutely still napping in the car. He’d moved away from the blankets, finding a shady, safely enclosed spot to sleep off his food-coma: the glove box.

*

"I have five boys, currently," she admitted, knowing it might seem like a lot to the casual asker. "But I work from home so I have plenty of time for all of them and a few more."

She was of a similar mind when it came to what a full-sized should do. One as large as Nikolai could be a service Lamia because he was of a size where he wasn't likely to be taken advantage of my humans. But a Pygmy like Admiral was nowhere near large enough to babysit human children, regardless of how much energy he possessed. She could also understand his concerns of whether or not Admiral would be able to handle having a young Lamia in the house but this was one thing she had tested. "Admiral is fine with all Lamia, even young ones. It's just human children he panics around. Piper already has experience with Liam so seeing Admiral with one blank socket shouldn't startle him."

Currant looked around the center, more at ease since he knew that Valerie wouldn't drop him off here, but wasn't overly concerned with anyone who greeted Val. He rather liked that his human was so coveted by other Lamia but had chosen him instead.

"You take such good care of everyone here," she told Nikolai. "It's no wonder everyone respects you... I'm happy to be good enough for Piper, thank you."

Since she has her arms full, Marmalade takes the tube and pamphlet from Nikolai and puts them carefully into one of his jacket pockets. Valerie will obsess over them later.

"anythin' piper might wanna have when we go?" her Chain asked Nikolai. "he's young so a new place might be scary."

*

Nikolai looked worried at first, but nodded when he heard her situation. “He’ll have company then, that’s good.”

“They live in the woods too, so the bigger, stronger ones have room to hunt,” Keith said.

Nikolai smiled, “Great to hear then. That is one of the downsides of cities, it’s hard to let all of these guys outside as much as they ought to.”

It seemed like she had everything in order then. Admiral would be fine, she had a good track record, Piper seemed to love her and her Lamia already, and even asking for something for him. “I think I know. Give me a minute, I’ve got to go get it.” He slithered off towards the nursery, looking around for one particular toy…

And in the meantime, Hux had caught scent of a human and unfamiliar Lamia. “Heh… Surprised to see you in here. Figured you’d be outside. Like, most of us who ain’t out there are fine staying here y’know.”

Keith bit back a sigh, putting on a lazy smile instead, “And that’d be Hux.”

“Yo,” Hux said. His eyes wandered to Trousle, who was still casually draped on Val, and his soul dropped. He picked up Trousle and stuck Trousle on his own neck instead. “There. Better.”

“I was fine over there too.” Trousle said.

“Yeah, well… Yer with me now.”

*

"Yeah, I have a lot of space." She rushed to assure Nikolai. "Honestly, I think Sangria wants me to have a gaggle of Lamia sometimes. He acts like he hates when I bring someone new around but he's the biggest mom in my house. Piper won't ever be in danger with all my boys, that's a promise."

"she drove kinda far to get us from our center," Marmalade revealed with a shrug. "plenty of stuff to hunt but we got safe havens set up all over the woods. pretty sure at least a couple of wild lamia have taken refuge in our caves too."

The whole situation was exciting. Piper was adorable and he would encourage Currant into being more active without bribery, since it seemed he'd taken an intense liking to the little Pygmy. Currant's coils tightened around Valerie's waist, his sockets narrowing at the arrival of another fucking Coral. He wasn't threatened, Val didn't seem to notice Hux was there yet, but he did make his displeasure known with a single warning hiss.

"Oh!" Val startled, not expecting Trousle to be suddenly taken off her. She smiled at Hux, figuring he was treating her to the grumpiness she'd heard he was known for. "No, I'm not adopting anyone from inside! I was just getting some stuff for Piper, I'll be taking him home."

Currant narrowed his eyes even further, almost closing his sockets, and carefully situated Piper within his jacket so Hux couldn't grab him too. Marmalade rolled his eye lights towards Hux, keeping an eye on the situation in case he neeeded to diffuse any tension.

"Do you like Trousle's new scarf?" Val asked, turning to give Hux more attention while she adjusted her grip on Currant. "I had gifts for everyone. Liam almost took yours."

*

Nikolai couldn’t help grinning when he heard that. It sounded like a perfect environment with enough hunting Lamia to keep little and lazy ones safe.

Hux just laughed at Currant’s hiss. “I promise, I ain’t here to steal your bitch. You can keep her.” He was hesitant to take his eyes off the bunch, not sure how to feel about strange Lamia in his home, so he compromised and brought Trousle up to look at him. “Looks good on ya, Trus. Compliments your scales.”

Trousle beamed, hiking himself up to show off, throwing the scarf behind him like he was in a beauty commercial and it was long, flowing hair.

“Nice.” His pride wanted to not accept gifts… but his desire to hoard things won out. “That sounds like Liam alright. He calls himself a hunter, but pretty sure he’s just a fucking thief. Slick fucking bastard, thinking he’s the shit.” He lowered to a mumble as a dusting of red started to glow from his cheeks, “Just ‘cause he’s strong and could kill me with those fangs - thinks he’s so great. I’ll shove it down his throat sometime, but he’d probably just laugh and push me down. Fuckin…”

Keith was not the least bit oblivious to Hux’s crush, but chose not to comment on it… with other people there. In private, he’d gladly tease him mercilessly.

… okay, maaaaybe Keith couldn’t resist. “Dude fought through a flock of geese. Actually caught one or two. You should’ve seen it.”

“Of course he did!” Pause. “Did he save any?”

“Absolutely not, but maybe you can lick the blood off his fangs.”

Hux turned bright red, eyes going huge at the idea, and Keith laughed uproariously.

Desperately wanting to change the subject, Hux yelled out, “OKAY PRESENTS NOW.” But he couldn’t drown out Keith and glared at the traitor. “I hate you.”

*

Ah, now Alex's wariness made plenty of sense. Hux was one of those Lamia that had high defenses up at all times. Valerie wasn't surprised that he seemed particularly against her, either. She was a stranger and if he already didn't like humans then she was doubly on his shit list. It was a good thing she didn't have a burning need for him to like her, and being insulted wasn't new either.

Currant, on the other hand, never liked to hear her be insulted. He wasn't normally a very confrontational Lamia but he would happily throw his weight around if it meant she wasn't sad. His hidden bastard side came out to play the moment he sensed something that he could pick at, the only reason he didn't let loose on a barrage of verbal hatred was because Piper was there.

"hope ya never have kids with that mouth," Currant hissed, cupping a hand around where Piper's head was. Like that would prevent him from waking and hearing the garbage Hux was spouting.

Marmalade didn't understand the teasing. Of course Hux would want to mate with a Mamba, it just made the most sense. Sure, Liam wasn't as great as Sangria but a Mamba was a great catch as a bondmate. It likely helped that Liam and Hux were closer in size, any larger of a Mamba and Hux would be pining forever. But there was more important things to worry about, other than what some stranger wanted to mate with.

Hux had insulted Valerie.

At any other time, Marmalade might have let it go. He was a gentle Lamia at his core and Val really disliked when they fought but he was more than capable of defending himself and her. Better Marmalade take care of this than Sangria decide that Hux no longer deserved the pleasure of being alive. Should they ever meet, that is.

"dude," Marmalade deadpanned. His tail coiled around Val, a flash of warning in his gaze. "insult whatever human ya fancy but keep yer opinions on our human to yerself, got it?"

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife... holy shit. "Anyway!" Valerie blurted, pulling one of the geodes out so Hux could see it. Hopefully nipping any fights in the bud. "I have some geodes. Liam seemed to think they were pretty and I'm sure that he would love whatever you didn't want."

Please, she mentally begged. Take them and don't fight.

*

Hux wasn’t so easily dissuaded, at least not from Marmalade. “Wow, geez. Ya don’t have to be so desperate to suck her lady-“

“HUX! CHILD!” Keith knew too well what was probably about to come from Hux’s mouth. “Also that’s just rude!”

Hux huffed. “Right right, whatever. Soul bonds and whatever, who needs that shit! You don’t, right?” He looked up at Keith, grinning in a fakely laid-back way.

Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking away, “Right.” He was lying through his teeth.

“Bros before hoes,” Hux said. “But geez. That weirdo can’t keep her hands off nobody, huh? How do you guys stand that? She tastes like bug spray and dirt.”

Keith sighed, “She works outside.”

“Whatever.”

…

“Do you want the rocks?” Keith said. “No. I know you want the rocks. Are you gonna stop being a butt long enough to take them, or should I keep them forever?” He could take the guy’s vitriol, and he’d rather Hux come at him than the others. That shit could just roll off his scales, and they’d make up when he wasn’t as tense. The others didn’t have that option.

“… yes please,” Hux said, looking aside and blushing. “Oh. And good. I’d be a shit parent, mom or dad. Why have them anyways? Not like they wouldn’t end up being given out… But the rocks will be mine forever!”

*

Valerie usually had no trouble keeping her own vulgarity in check, because she didn't want any of the boys to pick up on her own foul mouth, but Hux was clearly deserving of a brand new title. It was a lot harder to insult her than it was to piss off her boys. Of course he would cause her filter to fly out the window. "Wow. You're a little shit."

Currant huffed, annoyed but amused at the same time. Hux was obviously no threat, likely all talk, so he was easily dismissed. At least by Currant. Marmalade, however, was giving Keith a peculiar look and making no secret of it. It was obvious that nobody else knew about the bond he shared with Alex and he was lying about it. Badly, at that.

Which, fair. Hux clearly didn't like humans for whatever reason and they did live in the same center. But to deny a soulbond... no Chain should ever want to do anything like that. Marmalade cocked his head, staring at Hux now and occasionally shifting his attention to Keith.

"every chain has a soulbond," Currant huffed, not paying attention to Hux but keeping half a mind on the conversation. "even a baby knows that. an unless yer bonded died they're out there."

Probably not the best thing to say but Val hoped to distract Hux with the geodes. Now it was her turn to be a bit of a little shit because he wasn't getting one unless he took it from her. She was likely just as used to hearing nasty comments from someone as Keith was. Hux kind of reminded her of her brothers, thinking that everyone wanted the same things out of life.

"I don't get the craze about having kids either," Val shrugged, waving a geode. "And they're geodes , not rocks. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Rocks can be found anywhere but geodes are rocks with crystals inside."

*

“I ain’t denying it,” he huffed. “Keeps the weirdos away.”

Keith couldn’t meet Marmalade’s eyes. He could guess we’ll enough what the other was thinking. Hiding a soul bond, he must be nuts! But he’s not even sure if it’s legit, not if Alex hasn’t said anything, and she hasn’t made any move to adopt either, so why get Hux all worked up?

“Yeah, well, either the fucker’s dead, or ain’t interested,” Hux said, curling protectively around Keith and hugging him insistently. “We’re lifers, right dude?”

“‘Course we are. Twenty-four years and nothing, why would there be…” Maybe it was just sheer desperation making him drawn to Alex. Maybe the cookies, or the dice. Could you be so wanting that you accidentally faked one with the wrong person just fo have something?

Hux went, “Pffft. A Crystal is a rock. It’s just a good rock. I mean, Great Danes are good dogs, but they’re still dogs. And hey, I ain’t above a rock collection…” He was still coiled around Keith, physically insisting on affection from the other (who, indeed, gave him a hug, stroking his skull) as he kept his eyes on the prize. “What do you say dude? Split ‘em best we can? Look like they come in halves, so I take one half and you the other?” It was like a friendship bracelet, but expensive and actually something they both wanted.

“Ya gotta convince her to give you your half first,” Keith said.

“You said you’d get them otherwise! So just give me half.”

“Eeeeh… I’ll consider it.” He was grinning cheekily, tongue flicking out as he leaned his weight against Hux.

“Rude.”

“I know ya are, I’m just another victim of gravity,” Keith said.

Hux was getting slowly crushed. “Why are you like this.”

“You looooove me.”

“Shut up… but yeah…”

*

Hux wasn't wrong. Being a little shit did keep the weirdos away. That was something Valerie knew from experience. She felt that, had things been different, she might have gotten along with Hux and even liked how blunt he was. The way Hux acted about humans and getting adopted made her wonder why he acted that way. Had something happened or had he just been passed up too many times?

Keith should certainly have been wary of meeting Marmalade's gaze because Marmalade was staring even harder. He doubted that the bond between Keith and Alex was fake, he'd never heard of a Chain that couldn't form that bond, so whatever foolish thoughts Keith was having were likely false. Unless... did Keith just not know anything about soulbonds? Humans didn't always feel it, especially if they were a little more on the dense side.

It would be a miracle if Marmalade kept his mouth shut.... and he just couldn't allow Keith to get away with denying it. "or the human jus' don' know what it feels like. ya can' acknowledge a bond without knowin' it's there."

"A crystal is not a rock," Val denied, already having researched this because Sangria hated rocks being in the house. "Crystals are made up of a highly ordered arrangement of atoms that repeat in a three dimensional pattern, they're closer to minerals."

The dedication Hux had for his friendships was admirable but he was still a little shit and he riled Val's inner sass to maximum levels. She still held the geode aloft, fully prepared to offer them to someone else if Hux continued to resist.

"I mean I guess if you're too chicken to grab one," she hummed, pretending to look around for someone else to give it to. "I can always find another Lamia that might want a geode."

"snrk!"

Trust Currant to recognize her game, she'd played it with him often enough.

*

“I guess?” Keith said. “Some people can have trouble with they stuff I guess…”

Trousle looked at Keith, unamused, “It’s not like it’ll change everything. You’re not a slave to it, you know.”

“Really? ‘Cause, uh… honestly, I don’t know how you guys do it,” Hux said, looking at Marmalade, “Or even why. Someone hijacks your soul and makes you feel shit, so you get closer and make it worse. Why deal with that? Why not just run and hope it goes away? ‘Cause it sounds like some kinda fucked up brainwashing to me.”

Keith kept his mouth shut. In the past he’d agreed with Hux to some extent, but now he wasn’t sure… Was that proof that Hux was wrong though, or that he was right and Keith was just falling victim to it?

While Keith was distracted, Hux tried to slither out from under him to grab the geodes, but Keith still had the presence of mind to flop down even harder, quietly delighting in the noises of rage even through his thoughts.

Nikolai finally walked back in - making Hux stiffen up because he was absolutely caught being a dick again - with a light blue teddy bear that looked like it’d been through its paces. The scent of home was soaked into it, and he’d noticed that Piper especially tended to like it. “Here. He likes curling around it when he’s tired or not feeling the best.” He’d gotten oddly protective of the toy at times, fending off those who’d try to hunt it. Best he could tell, he was trying to mimic Cobalt - the little mamba who defended him from teasing - but with Mr. Bluebeary.

“Now then, what exactly’s happening here?” Nikolai followed up.

“Keith’s crushing meeeeee,” Hux whined, making grabby hands for the geodes while trying to wiggle out. Maybe he could get sympathy?

“Hux is being rude.” Trousle said.

Nikolai was not remotely surprised. “Hux. Don’t be a jerk. Especially not if you’re the one seeking out the people!”

“I didn’t!”

“Why are you in the supplies closet then?”

“…”

Nikolai sighed. “Sorry about him. Are you all alright?”

*

"'s nothin' like brainwashin'," Marmalade said, a slight hiss in his tone. The very idea that he would be forced into a bond was insulting to everything that he was. It clearly showed that none of them understood the bond at all. If Keith did, he wasn't showing it. "the human has nothin' to do with the bond. 's all in the chain. we feel the bond an we decide if we forge it or not. 's a matter of feelin' complete, havin' someone that understands."

Trying to explain how right a completed bond felt was not dissimilar to attempting to explain astrophysics to a toddler. Marmalade's gaze was inevitably drawn to his bonded human, the one who had calmed his doubts and made him feel like he had worth beyond his species. He hadn't thought he would ever get a human either but Marmalade had known as soon as she walked in that she was his and that made her perfect.

"yer bonded fills a void you didn' know you had," he settled on. "but tha's not all they do. 's different for every chain. you jus'... you know tha' the human is fer you and that you would make their world brighter."

It was in no way accurate for what the bond was, any Chain would know that, but the soulbond wasn't so easily defined by one Lamia. What the bond meant to Marmalade would likely not be what it meant to Keith, or any other Lamia.

"Aw," Val cooed, tucking the bear into Currant's jacket so Piper could cuddle it in his sleep. "Thank you, Nikolai."

As much of a shithead as Hux was being, he still didn't deserve to be punished for caring about his friends and not wanting to be alone. So Valerie allowed him to try and hide his blunder, even if it didn't work, and didn't even try to hide her snicker. Hux may have been an asshole but he wasn't a complete lost cause.

"Clearly he wanted the geodes he must have smelled," Val countered. She was giving Hux an out, giving him a way so he didn't have to seem like he'd sought out a human and had just been drawn by presents. She did take pity on his woes and gently laid the geodes into his hands, a collection of them ranging in color and size. "He's quite the character, Nikolai. An absolute little shit."

"snrk!!"

"val," Marmalade laughed.

"I'm fine," she beamed. "Honestly, Hux may be a little shit but Keith seemed to have him well in coils."

*

Piper subconsciously coiled around Mr. Bluebeary in his sleep (apparently just absolutely exhausted since he slept through this), letting out a sleepy purr.

Keith should theoretically know better, and Nikolai and other Chain have told him better, but… Well, after all those years without one, all those years of him and Hux living together, all those years of watching others leave and clinging to those who’d probably stay…

It hurt less to convince himself that it was brainwashing. Hurt less to say he didn’t need one. Hurt less to pretend to pity those who went off happily with their bond mates instead of being jealous…

And then he found one, and she’s actually pretty sweet and fun and just a bit of a weirdo, just like them. Then he started looking forward to her coming. But the old thoughts still haunted his mind, saying he’d been forced into it, that it wasn’t real, but why not?

Keith kept his mouth shut on the matter.

Hux, thankfully, took the bait this time and decided to keep his mouth shut, instead greedily putting as much of himself as he could over the geodes as he inspected them. “Thanks.” His eyes were starting to go wide like Currant’s as he looked inside, peering at the crystals and the way they shimmered, catching the light. “Changed my mind. I ain’t sharing.” He was absolutely keeping these forever.

Nikolai attempted to stifle his laugh, but a chuckle still slipped through, “An apt description of him.”

“I love you, but yes,” Trousle said. Even he wouldn’t deny it.

“Eh… He’s my buddy,” Keith said. “Just a bit prickly.” He captured Hux further in a big hug. Only Hux’s head was sticking out now, the rest trapped under Keith. “Kinda a goober too.”

Hux pressed his face to the floor to hide the rising blush.

*

Currant cooed at Piper, delighted and so enthralled with having a young one to watch over that he didn't care about anything else. Didn't care about anyone else. Marmalade finally allowed the conversation about soulbonds to drop, feeling he had made his point. He peeked closer at Piper, the little guy not having been handed to him, and carefully made sure to take in the Pygmy's scent. Piper would be safer if Marmalade made sure he remembered what he smelled like.

Now Hux was starting to sound like Currant, too. Hoarding the geodes beneath his coils. It was always a little strange to see just how similar different Lamia were within their own species. Yet they were so different too. Hux had finally taken his eyes off her and she didn't feel like he was waiting to take a bite out of her if she moved wrong.

"I've found that the little shits are worth the most," Valerie said, agreeing with Keith. "It's the ones you work with, the friends you make that you have to fight for, that are the best you can have. Hux is one of those lifer friends, isn't he?"

"seems that way," Marmalade muttered, eyeing Hux's position on the ground.

But this was also an experience that Valerie couldn't pass up! She whipped out her phone and snapped a quick picture of Hux, trapped beneath Keith's coils, and sent it off to the boys at home with the caption a little shit being taken in coil with an appropriate amount of giggling. The picture she got in return was.... not a picture at all. Loud laughter spilled from her phone.

"LITTLE SHIT," Sangria wheezed in the video and she saw the grin Lapis directed at the phone camera, along with his typical finger guns.

"Why didn't I think of that?" she whisper-yelled. "A video call with my boys at home... ohmystars I feel like an idiot."

"eh," Marmalade grinned. "val's kinda a goober too."

*

Piper is happily snuggled against his teddy in his new best friend’s pocket with his favorite teddy. That is one blissful bitty bones.

Keith nodded, “Yeah, Hux is a lifer. I ain’t leaving him in to dust for anything or anyone.”

Hux groaned as he realized he was being laughed at, “Just end me now.”

“Nah. You’re trapped in cuddle land,” Keith said lazily, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

“How dare,” Hux said with absolutely no bite, enjoying this but also super embarrassed.

Nikolai chuckled, “These two are quite the pair. Good to hear from you.”

“I’m guessing one of ya is the famed Sangria,” Hux said. “Hey Currant, wanna show ‘em your new lil treasure?” Let the dude show off. It’ll be adorable.

Nikolai had no objections to this. If anything, he was trying to get closer to see Sangria and Lapis’s reactions.

*

Sangria puffed up in the video, gloves hands upon his hips and grin widening at the fact that people knew his name without having to be introduced. Yes, his malevolence was well known to Lamia all over! He didn't quite know how to ask Val how everything was going but things seemed to be going alright. Lapis was giggling, obviously being the one that was holding the phone.

He was hoping that Valerie wasn't bringing any of the full-sized hooligans into his territory, perking at the mention of a treasure.

"Oh, Sangria, he's adorable!" Val was gushing, pointing the camera towards Piper's sleeping face. "Look at him!"

Everyone was treated to the sight of Sangria's eye lights going huge in his sockets, slit pupils expanding into circles that nearly overtook the color. Lapis peeked around the phone so he could see what had caused that reaction. His grin widened.

"IS THAT A CHILD?" Sangria whispered, looking like he wanted to get closer. "ADMIRAL COME LOOK!"

Within seconds there was a cluster of eyes and skulls looking at Piper, a group of cooing Lamia enthused to see him. Well, Valerie hadn't expected this kind of reaction. They had even ignored Nikolai's introduction!

"HI!" Admiral squealed at them, being the first to notice all the others. His darkened socket and scarred cheek momentarily taking up the screen. "Baby?? BABY, BABY, BABY!!"

Aaaand he was off, distantly screeching.

"'pologies," Lapis drawled lazily. Sangria squeaked, demanding he be released so he could speak to everyone. Looks like Admiral was overcome by the zoomies. "mighta gave the kid a lil' too much caffeine."

Caffeine? A caffeinated Pygmy?

That was terrifying!

*

At all the noise, Piper started to stir, eyes peeking open as his mouth opened in a yawn. He started stretching out to wake up, but his coils instead tightened around Mr. Bluebeary. His head bobbed up and down as he fought to wake up, squeaking and chirping, but he lost and drifted back to sleep against his fuzzy little friend.

Nikolai chuckled, giving Piper a little head pat, “He got so excited when he found out about our park week that he didn’t sleep for a few days. Between that and all the excitement of being outside and meeting you, I’m sure he’s exhausted himself.” He then turned to Lapis, “And you. What in the vast reaches of the entire universe possessed you to over caffeinate a Pygmy?”

“Dude. You’re braver than me,” Hux said. “The zoomies would be horrifying.”

“Good luck Sangria,” Keith said, not wishing this fate on any. Well, at least they didn’t over-caffeinate a mamba…

*

The little sounds Piper made as he settled back into sleep were the most adorable thing Valerie had heard in a while and she barely resisted the urge to scoop him up and cuddle him close. He was going to do well with her boys, they'd keep him busy and make sure he was able to sleep through the night. Soon, he would have them all wrapped up in his adorable shenanigans.

"Lapis," she groaned, horrified at the idea of Admiral hyped up on caffeine. "I know you love your pranks but this... I don't see the a peel here."

Lapis beamed, giggling to himself and turning the phone so they could watch Sangria zip around after Admiral. The Pygmy was climbing all over the furniture and babbling too fast at the windows for his words to make any sense. These zoomies were fast-paced and chaotic, Admiral's voice so enthusiastic that Sangria was grinning.

"not brave," Lapis corrected. "jus' need to make sure sangria sleeps tonight. what better way than to have him chase admiral?"

"Its possible Sangria doesn't care," Valerie laughed. "But you had better not caffeinate Piper, Lapis. We don't need two zooming Pygmy."

She had to pause to mentally picture that and it was.... enough to make her nervous. Lapis would absolutely do that to her if he felt like she could handle it and it would be funny.

"thought it'd be funny," the Corny shrugged. "they were both mopin' around."

*

“He’s too young for it right now anyways,” Nikolai said, always the responsible parent. “And keep in mind, at his size, a little caffeine goes a much longer way. I wouldn’t give him anything stronger than white tea and dark chocolate, even as an adult.”

“That sounds like a way to do it though,” Hux said. “And a hilarious way at that! Why deal with mopes when you can watch ‘em zoom?”

“I almost wanna argue against that, but I can’t,” Keith said.

Even Nikolai had to admit, “I suppose that is a strategy…”

*

Valerie turned a mildly horrified look to Hux and Keith, knowing it was already too late to stop the monster they'd created. Lapis was a lazy guy, sure, but when it came to pranks and causing chaos he was the best in the house. And they were fueling his fire by the way he grinned at them.

"jus' make sure nothin' breaks," Currant grumbled with narrowed sockets. "they could go outside."

"a great idea," was Lapis' easygoing reply. "more roomie for the zoomie."

"What have you done?" Val groaned, watching the train wreck happening at her home. Lapis had opened the front door and Admiral was off like a rocket, Sangria hot on his tail. She couldn't help but smile at the way they zipped through the grass and trees, Admiral briefly posing on top of the basking rock with a 'MWEH HEH HEH' that was too cute.

"an when three o' them zoom together..." Marmalade shuddered. "stars..."

*

Nikolai was thinking to himself… partly out loud. “I suppose if Liam gets bored, that’s a way to do it…”

Hux laughed and flashed a devious grin, “I apologize for nothing.”

“I’m guilty as charged,” Keith said. “Agent of chaos, right here. Fear me.”

“Good luck if Piper zooms too,” Hux says. “Kid tried to fight Liam, he might try Sangria too.”

“I am glad they are getting exercise, but there are better ways!” Trousle said, the electronic voice muffled between Hux and Keith. “Like watching Avatar and trying to do the martial arts despite not having legs.”

*

"Oh stars," Val giggled, so horrified by her own imagination that she had ascended beyond groaning. "Imagine if someone caffeinated all the Mamba and Pygmy, though. It'd be an apocalypse!"

Now that she had said it aloud, Valerie felt like she might have just put pure chaos into the center's future. The only benefit she could find was that caffeine didn't last forever and the Lamia would crash pretty quickly.

"eh, sangria likes a challenger on occasion," Marmalade said with a snicker. "an piper 's already a dragon so sangria 'll be impressed. kid has guts."

"but he's jus' bones."

"Oh, Trousle," Val smiled. "Sweet summer child. My boys are basically feral when it comes to having fun and exercising! Even Lapis, the laziest noodle, has chaotic ways he moves when it's time."

"but val," Lapis cackled, "thought ya liked corny zoomies?"

"you jus' do the worm, though."

*

"Oh stars," Nikolai gasped in sheer horror at the thought. "I'm putting locks on all the coffees and tea. Staff only."

"Noooooooo...." Hux groaned, "I wanted to do it."

"I take no responsibility whether it does or does not happen," Keith said. He wasn't gonna bring the apocalypse, but wouldn't stop it either...

Trousle grinned, "Well then! We should hang out sometime! I bet I could "worm" better than you! Lazybones! Heart. Heart. Heart." He stuck his tongue out, wiggling playfully.

*

"That's probably for the best, really." She shuddered a little, cursing her own imagination with every colorful swear she knew. "Better watch the keys too. If you have any Cornies that are even remotely like Lapis, those keys might get stolen. Or the locks picked."

"or you could convince someone on staff tha' you wanted tea an jus' encourage a Mamba an Pygmy hoard to attack the hiding place," Marmalade said with a grin.

"whose side are you even on?" Currant demanded.

"anarchy," was the deadpan response.

"oh," Lapis peered closer to the phone. "hey there, kid. didn't know a papython was around. cool scarf... the worm ain't exactly a papython move, not cool enough, but it'd be fun."

*

"It's okay, I'm the small one! I understand." Trousle said. "Thank you! Val gave it to me! It looks so great!"

"There's no stopping the apocalypse. Just stock up while you can," Nikolai said.

Hux and Keith were laughing.

"I heard that we're not telling Cornies something?" said a Corny. "Also, pass the water bandages, will ya? Rings got cut on a rock."

"Oozy! My man!" Keith chirped.

Nikolai gave Oozy the bandages.

"Give him a pet, yeah? He likes those," Hux said to Val. The layer of ooze on Oozy was thinner and clearer than usual, water having diluted and washed quite a bit away, but there was still a hard-to-see the layer of slime on him.

Oozy was too wrapped up in what he wasn't supposed to be doing to pay attention to the waterproof wrappings (or Hux) though. "Soooooo... what am I absolutely not supposed to know?"

*

"yeah, she loves to give gifts. can't wait to meet you, kid."

There was no doubt that Valerie would be going to the center to see Trousle and all of them again. Next time it would be a big thing where everyone would go.

This new side to Hux was a far cry better than him being a little shit. It felt more like the real Hux had made an appearance and Keith was right, he was a huge goober.

"anarchy now," Marmalade declared. "didn' want a corny to know someone was plannin' on caffeinatin' the mamba an pygmy to bring about the apocalypse."

"don' forget the lockpickin'," Lapis delighted in tacking on.

But Val wasn't really listening to them. She was looking at Oozy and trying to decide if Hux was playing a trick on her or not. It wasn't typical for her to just reach out and pet a Lamia without asking first but even if Oozy did bite her, he wasn't venomous and the worst that could happen is it would hurt. It wouldn't even be the worst pain.

So Val reached out and pet Oozy on the back of the skull. The resulting mucus on her hand was disgusting but also very interesting to pet and she became far more invested in petting it than was normal. She made a noise of intrigue, reminded of patting mud pies as a kid.

"gross," was Currant's hiss.

*

“I look forward to meeting you too!” Trousle said. “Have you ever played DnD? My friends here and I play a few times a week!”

Oozy’s eyes widened, “That sounds like a disaster…” He was totally saving that idea for when he got bored. “Lock Picking Lawyer is pretty cool. I started watching him on one of my YouTube dives. Heh. Learned a lot about locks.”

Oozy’s eyes were on Val’s handy; he was giddy with anticipation, both for the affection and the almost inevitable gross-out. The dude couldn’t help giggling at the face she made, but would never say no to some friendly pets. He shrugged at Currant, used to it, “Eh, it’s life. Slimy, slimy life. Name’s Oozy, good to meet y’all.”

Hux was also laughing at poor Val for falling for it. Keith mentally gave her props for petting him anyways, even if it might’ve been morbid curiosity.

“Mmm… Geez, this has been a good year with girls for me. Might get spoiled at this rate,” Oozy said, longing to capture her in a cuddle, but he got the feeling that would just gross her out. Ah well, someday maybe.

*

"i've helped val make dnd characters before, when she was feeling like drawing chaos. never played any."

"lapis can pick locks, somehow." And Marmalade was still in awe of that random talent. None of them even knew where he'd picked up that skill from. Val couldn't reliably hide anything from him if he became determined enough to get it.

Currant was staring at Val's hand as she petsOozy. This must have been how people felt when they witnessed a horrible accident, horrified but unable to look away. The more she pet the more interested she became and the most enthusiastic about continuing to pet him. It was gross, yeah, but she was fascinated by the fact he was slimy. Like a frog or a salamander.

"Ohmystars," she breathed, using both hands to pet and probably resembling a kid meeting Santa for the first time. "This is so gross but so cool too! You feel like a salamander, ohmygodwhydidtheynameyouOozywhenyoufeellikethis???"

"oh no..."

*

“I could teach you if you want! Keith DMs.”

“I’m Keith,” Keith says, trying to keep Lapis up to speed, “The one I’m sitting on is Hux. Our King is Nikolai.”

Oozy’s eyes went starry and he splayed himself out for maximum petting. “Right? Heh. We can’t quite figure out why? But it’s a thicker ooze when I ain’t wet… or haven’t been in water recently, I’m always kinda wet. And, well, there have been worse Corny names. We seem to attract them.”

“Poor Spoon,” Nikolai said. “I should get naming guidelines…”

“Still better than Radish,” Hux said.

“I think Radish was a honeybo though,” Keith said.

“Still kinda respect the hastily renamed Mamba ‘Little Tucker.’” Oozy said with a grin, bearing his throat for some neck-scratches.

“Princess Garbage Lamp thankfully had that name changed,” Nikolai said.

“Didn’t YOU start that nickname?”

“In my defense, you weren’t born yet to witness that fiasco.”

*

"that'd be great, kid."

The amount of shenanigans that Lapis could inflict upon them is enough to make Currant and Marmalade giggle like schoolgirls. Lapis is still smiling but they can tell he wishes he was the one getting the pets and attention that Oozy is getting. Val was so excited about something different.

"I named my boys after colors," Val's voice was distracted, the feel of Oozy beneath her hands much more interesting. She itched to take pictures so she could draw this later, knowing it would be a huge boon to her visual library. "Color names are the best."

"val's an artist so she likes to name us after stuff she likes an knows." Currant paused, flushing a little. "she also tends to call us gems."

"the truth comes out," Marmalade teased. "nikolai can't name."

"Does it float in the water?" Valerie asked, moving her petting to Oozy's neck and using her nails to scratch lightly at his prompting. "Like, does it come off you and float? Or does your body absorb it, somehow? Does it have a taste? What does it mean for your scales? Do you shed?"

*

Keith smiled, “That’s adorable actually. Like, it’s freaking precious when someone shares part of what’s special to them with you.”

Nikolai agrees with the sentiment, but is also blushing, “I have many talents. Naming isn’t one of them.”

Oozy purrs deep in his chest, eyes shutting in bliss. “Depends on how thick it’s gotten. Fresher ooze might thin out a little bit, but if I’ve been sleeping in it a while, it’ll probably slough off and dissolve after a while. I’m kinda numb to the taste, but apparently, it’s got a salty and tangy vibe, but gets bitter if it stays there too long. I apparently have really uneven shedding, more like parts of the skin just get really soft until a slight bump tears it off. Usually dusts before it fully leaves the slime. I can’t really feel it when it happens though. From what we can tell, this stuff has ups and downs. Have to be careful about fungi, but I out-ick most other grossness. It seals up any cuts, burns, or whatever I might get and keeps them more or less sterile. Not that I get hurt much…”

*

"prolly also helps that none of us had names," Marmalade added. "the center we came from didn' give us names, we knew who was being talked to without that. Jus' easier to let adopters name us."

"don' think piper will get a different name though," Currant said, finally having enough and slithering off Val. "'s a cute name."

Valerie was far more interested in what Oozy had going on. She wasn't inclined towards science but she was curious about everything new that she found out. It must have been a little inconvenient to be covered in goop but it was fascinating that he knew so much about it. She was almost tempted to taste it just to see but Valerie wasn't that adventurous when it cameto trying new things. His word that it was salty-tangy was more than enough.

"Shame you didn't use the pun," she finally grumbled. "Coulda said something about how you can't become too much of a fun gi... But it's really cool. Like a protective layer, right?"

*

“We tried that, but names stick,” Nikolai says. “It’s almost impossible for them NOT to end up called something.”

Oozy’s eyes went wide and he laughed, “Dude. That’s hissterical. You’re really treating me to a good slime here!” He laughed a little more, then went back to explaining, “Maybe? I won’t say I’m entirely unique, but it’s a super rare condition. Ain’t been many chances to study if, so no one’s fully sure what causes it. I’ve had some science dudes and doctors and stuff come look at me. Nothing bad of course. Pretty sure Nikolai would’ve maimed them if they tried to go mad scientist.

“We’ve got a few theories. Some think that my soul is really stubborn in believing that I’m supposed to be an amphibian, or maybe I had an ancestor or two who were part frog or salamander or something. Others think there’s an issue in magic processing, like maybe my body just doesn’t know to slow down, or maybe something in that whole process is just completely borked. Point is, we ain’t sure. We’ve narrowed out a few possibilities, but don’t know why I do this, how to make it stop, or if that’d even be a good idea.

“But eh… whooze worried ‘bout that anyways?”

*

Oh no, he was a typical Corny all right. Puns, something Valerie had only really started to find funny after getting Lapis, spilling forward so easily she was momentarily stunned. He was slightly better than Lapis was and that feat was impressive enough she would have made sparkle eyes at Oozy if she could.

"Or maybe it's just you being such a slick guy that you can't contain it." She wiggled her eyebrows comically, a wheeze from Marmalade accompanying her words, and wasn't she just the smuggest person ever at that? "I guess you could also come from mixed genetics... maybe you had someone aquatic in your history? Aquatic creatures produce a slime too."

She was trying to resist commenting how he might actually be aslug, a lazy slug, but figured that would be rude. And then she had a sudden epiphany that caused her so much glee it almost physically manifested in a subtle glow from her chest.

"Or maybe..." she bit her lip, fighting back a massive grin. "You're a sea slug."

*

Oozy didn't even try to stifle his chuckling as a grin split his face, but he absolutely lost it at sea slug, letting out one of those "Pffffft"s of when you're caught off guard, then throwing his head back in laughter with his hand on his face. "Dude. Omg. That's a newt one. Good thing I'm a sea slug though and not a regular one, 'cause I'm being assalted with puns! Eel give you that, you're pretty good."

Hux was audibly groaning, getting more and more exasperated with every passing pun. Keith was laughing along while Nikolai fondly watched.

*

Valerie lost her battle with laughter, Currant's sockets narrowed in warning while Marmalade nearly collapsed as he wheezed along. She also heard Lapis giggling from the phone, beside himself with the fact he had so thoroughly corrupt her sense of humor with his own shenanigans.

"They just keep coming and I didn't even planet that way. Lapis' humor just seemed to mussel in when I brought him home. I'm not shellfish with the puns, either. Feel free to use 'em anytime."

Marmalade was wheezing so heavily that she was honestly concerned about his health and Lapis had descended into such high pitch giggles that she felt proud of herself. No Corny stood a chance now.

*

Oozy wasn’t sure he could top that. And he DEFINITELY couldn’t while he was too busy laughing his ass off to breathe. Hux was screaming into the floor in exaggerated anguish. Keith was howling. Even Nikolai was laughing along with the rest. This was the best possible result.

And through it all, a confused Krait awkwardly takes the water bandages from where Oozy sat them down, slithering back to the rest and avoiding whatever all this is.

*

It was comical, how she sat back with such a smug look on her face while surrounded by hysterical Lamia in various stages of horror or laughter. They were all lucky they wouldn't pass out from laughing so much or she might have been in trouble. Currant had grown used to the insane amount of shenanigans so he wasn't quite screaming but he certainly wasn't amused by the chaos.

Well, Marmalade had declared that it was anarchy now!

"Don't terrier yourself up about this. I'm pawsitive you can pun back. Though all this laughter is a nice jester from you."

Marmalade was on the ground, almost convulsing with laughter and she didn't even know Lamia could do that.

*

“Hey, hehehe,” Oozy was trying to talk through snorts of laughter, “Oh geez, pffft. Throw me a bone here! You’re doggone good at this, but I’m feline fine!”

“How did we get to cats and dogs? We’re snakes,” Nikolai said with amused befuddlement.

“Eh, she’s petter at some puns than me, but she’s not weaseling her way out of this so easily!”

Hux let out a muffled scream of, “I’M IN HELL.”

Trousle was trying to hide laughter behind an exasperated facepalm.

*

"Oooh, getting into a tearable pun territory now," she teased. "Well, I have a meowtain of puns. Dog puns are a bit ruff but I'm sure I can mange a few. Don't worry, you'll achieve grapeness if you wine a little."

The puns were all over the place and that was what had Marmalade on the ground, flailing around. Lapis never punned with Val like this and now that he knew she could they were all doomed. Just a little taste and Marmalade was unable to control himself. Lapis was sobbing now and showed no signs of stopping.

"look what you did!" Currant announced with a small screech of dismay.

"no grater way to go," Lapis wheezed.

*

“These puns are starting to get cheesy, but I’ll brie fine. Cheddar get ready, I can milk this for all it’s worth if ya let me have my curds ‘n way.” Oozy was NOT one to back down from a pun-off.

This was the most effort Nikolai had seen him put in in a while, so he wasn’t going to stop him…

Oozy kept going, “Cheese and crackers, sometimes I can go against the grain. Wheat’re ya gonna do plow?” He has no regrets. “I’ll keep punnin’ till the cows come home, no need to raise the afarm, but y’know, there’s a reason they call me - (snrk) - Corny.”

*

Oozy was good at this! Val had to pause for just a moment to try and think of a few things she could use. His means of punning was very one track, with a single vein that he went into and kept on, but she tended to like chaotic punnery instead.

A pun battle it would be, then.

"You've goat to wait for gouda puns. Don't pastaway on me now or we'll have a latte problems. Meow you've gone and bun it. Beating you at a pun battle won't be impastable for someone like me. Beclaws I've been practicing."

*

“I’d say it’s your mewve, but I’ll whisker ya away with these, and cat’s not all I have to say.

“Victory’s fleece-ing, but you can sheep well tonight. Cow about ya keep trying, or are ya chicken?

“‘Cause that won’t cut it. Not to hammer in the point, but I’ve nailed it. You saw it, right? I’ve got the tools to win.”

*

Val resisted her laughter for all of five seconds before she snorted. It was loud and hurt a little but it heralded the end of her pun game as she then descended into her hysterics. Keeping up with a Corny was difficult but her mind felt good from having to think up all those puns and her soul felt lighter. He'd been a perfect opponent to flex her punning muscle against.

"I don't think I can top that," she giggled, petting him with barely a twitch. "Probably a good thing too because I think Marmalade is having a fit."

Which was only partially true. Marmalade had exhausted himself and was flopped into a pile on the ground, twitching every time he snickered.

"that was a pawesome pun battle," Lapis declared from the phone. "Cornies win again."

*

Hux was still just screaming into the ground, muffled under a pile of Keith. Keith was coming down from his bout of hysterics (albeit as much from Hux's reaction as the puns themselves), and Oozy grinned. "That was great. Heh, haven't done that in a hot minute. You're dang good at this, y'know? Like, super good."

*

Hopefully, Hux would realize they weren't punning anymore and calm down. It had felt good to be able to sit back and dish out whatever randomness her brain conjured up, pun battle or not. Valerie was just happy to have not made a complete fool of herself. Shame no other Corny had joined in, it would likely have caused permanent mental damage to someone.

"So it's been a cold minute?" She couldn't prevent the question, grin turning smug once more. "Lapis has ruined my sense of humor for all eternity. Puns were one of those things I used to do without realizing but I notice them a lot now. And they're funny!"

*

"I think you mean he improved it, heh," Oozy said. "Man, that was great. Thanks, lil corny. Lil popcorn. Nah, popcorn's too energetic. You're a Kernal. Thanks, Kernal."

"Bet you wish you were that good at nicknames," Keith said to Nikolai.

"It was ONE time! And you know good and well what that Corny did with that lamp."

Hux huffed, finally calming, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Many things," Trousle said. "You might be prickly, but you still deserve Keith’s cuddles!"

"... You can't pull that surprise sweet shit on me like that," Hux said, red-faced.

"I can. You cannot stop me."

"Nikolai, make him stooooop."

"No," Nikolai said, heading towards the door, "I should be getting back now, who knows what's gone on while I was gone. I don't know when you'll be leaving, Val, but if you can, try to wait until Piper wakes up so he knows what's going on and gets a chance to say goodbye. Thank you."

*

"Depends on who you ask, I guess." Clearly, Hux and Currant thought her sense of humor was ruined, although Currant changed his tune when she was telling him knock, knock jokes. "I'll never hear the end of it. He'll call himself that and Sangria will throw a fit until Lapis says he's waiting to pop into corn."

Which, again, was fair. But Sangria would be equal parts disgusted and horrified. They were lucky he hadn't heard their pun battle or she would never have been able to get away with leaving him out.

"nah, thank you buddy," Lapis said. "clearly I need to come along next time."

"clearly," Currant parroted, a pained look upon his face.

"Puh-lease," Val directed towards Hux. "It was obvious from the start you were secretly a huge softy beneath all the prickles. Just like a cactus."

It was, too. After a while, anyway.

"anarchy," was Marmalade's grave response to what had likely gone on in Nikolai's absence. "pure chaos."

"Oh yes, it was probably a Mamba apocalypse," Valerie agreed. "We'll stick around until Piper wakes up, let him say goodbye, and get numbers so you guys can talk to him until we come back around. I'll be making another donation to the center sometime in the next few weeks."

*

"I apologize for nothing," Oozy said with a shit-eating grin. "I look forward to seeing ya Kernal. We'll have a good slime. Hehehe."

"I'm glad I ain't the only sane one here. Other Coral. Help me!" He managed to wiggle an arm out, reaching for Currant. He was blushing more as he tried to ignore Val's assessment of him.

Nikolai let out a sigh that turned into a chuckle, "I shouldn't expect anything else. Oh well. I guess I'll go save the world." He went for the door, stopping long enough to say, "Thank you. We all appreciate it. I'm sure he'll be really happy with you." Then he left.

*

"as marmalade said, anarchy now," Lapis took great delight in repeating. "we'll have a whale of a good time."

Currant's initial assessment of Hux may not have been very nice but he did have some species pride. He huffed, as if aiding Hux was the greatest weight upon his shoulders, but reached out with his magic nonetheless. The fact that he had magic to spare was a matter of pride, his meals were so carefully planned out just for this reason. A crook of his fingers and he yanked Hux forward.

"Go save the day, Nikolai," Val said with a wave. "I'll try and make sure none of these hooligans get into trouble."

*

Hux whooped and stuck his tongue out at Keith as he managed his great escape… with aid. “Thanks, dude, owe us one.”

Nikolai chuckled, “I appreciate it. And good luck with that.”

Everyone waited for five seconds after he left. Then Oozy immediately said, “Alright, who wants to storm the coffee?”

“NO!” Hux snapped.

“Maaaaybe,” Keith drawled.

“Can I have some?” Trousle had a wide grin, bobbing back and forth in excitement.

“… what have I done,” Oozy said, staring down Trousle.

*

Now Val might have said she would watch the others but she doubted she'd be able to stop any shenanigans that might occur. Currant and Marmalade wouldn't join the chaos, she hoped, so it came down to watching all the others and making sure they didn't cause trouble. But of course Oozy would be the one that would have pranks on the mind, seeing as Cornies were agents of chaos.

"COFFEE?" She heard from the phone, a battle cry that sent her calm expression diving into horror. Sangria had a very distinct tone and he must have out zoomed Admiral to still be awake. The stamina of a Mamba was no joke. He didn't sound like he was as full of energy as usual but not tired either. "DO NOT GIVE COFFEE!"

"no roomie for the zoomie," Lapis announced sadly. "you're all in the city. too much could happen if ya give everyone coffee."

"like that would stop anyone," Currant huffed, cradling Piper against his chest and wondering how the kid could sleep through this.

"anarchy now," Marmalade agreed solemnly.

*

This did not discourage Oozy, "I'm gonna give 'em coffee. Just you wait! I'll do the Boston tea party, but in a krait pond with coffee! JUST TRY ME!"

Hux, trying to stop the apocalypse, pounced on Oozy, nose scrunched as he held the other down. "No. Nope. Nope nope nope nope."

"... ya have to get off eventually," Oozy said, not remotely struggling to get free.

"Bold of you to assume you can out-lazy me," Hux said.

Keith was laughing... and slithering off to grab some coffee.

Piper was stirring some now and then, making noises of displeasure at all the noise, but he'd been on and off zoomies for a few days without sleep. His body finally forced him...

Or tried to. "Coffee!" Piper yelled, demanding.

Oh no.

*

Secretly, or not so secretly, Val doubted Hux could out-lazy a Corny and that the apocalypse wouldn't be happening. She had resolved herself to witnessing the zooms that would be happening, feeling the looks of horror upon her for not stopping this. All she could hope is that it wouldn't be too bad.

And then she heard the little demand and all the terror crashed upon her shoulders. Currant was looking down in shock and Marmalade pressed his face into his coils.

"Oh no," Valerie whispered, scooping Piper up so she could pet him. Even if he wanted coffee she couldn't resist some cuddles from an adorable Pygmy. "I don't know if you'll like coffee, Piper. It's pretty bland."

Please let him be easily convinced by thinking coffee had to be served plain and nothing else.

"UNLESS YOU ADD SUGAR," Sangria muttered from the phone, drawing her stare. "ADMIRAL DRANK THE SWEET STUFF."

"Sangria," She whined but it was too late.

Oh no, indeed.

*

Keith has found a 12 pack of a certain type of cold-brew coffee in the fridge. He shook some of the snacks from the snack machine in trade, sticking a note on there that he regretted nothing.

Calmly, he went out and started distributing the contraband to Mambas and Pygmies.

“Nnnnn!!! But! Need zoom! Get to play outside but ‘m tired and ‘s not fair! Dun Wanna sleep…” He was getting fussy in the way an over-tired child does when they desperately want to keep having fun, little tears budding in his eyes and hiccuping. “Gimme zoom juice! Wanna play!”

*

Piper was hitting her right in the underdeveloped, curdled maternal instincts. He sounded like he was on the verge of a full-on tantrum and she didn't want him to get that upset over some coffee. It had been a while since she'd been around a fussy child that didn't make her want to run in the other direction.

It was an awful idea. She knew it was an awful idea. But Valerie couldn't deny Piper a little bit of fun before they left.

"OK," she took a deep breath. "You can have a small sip of zoom juice. Just a little bit. You can play but we do have to say goodbye. Sangria is waiting at home for you."

"INDEED," her large Mamba huffed. "IF YOU ZOOM NOW YOU'LL SLEEP ON THE DRIVE AND YOU CAN ZOOM AGAIN AT HOME."

*

Piper stared for a moment like he didn’t expect that to work. But once it processed that he had more playtime, he broke into giggles and a grin, trilling happily. “YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY! YA… Yawn AY!”

“Told ya you can’t stop me. I didn’t even have to escape,” Oozy said.

Hux had his jacket hood over his skull and was trying to melt into the ground to escape (ignoring that he could just, like… leave).

Outside, trouble was already brewing as the more energetic Lamia began to ZOOM! One mamba was trying to declare himself king of the entire world, hampered by the Pygmy who had decided to be a superhero all of the sudden and was playfully fighting him. A few bitty mamba were trying to tip over Val’s van (without success, thankfully). Nikolai was holding back swears as he tried to stop one mamba from starting a fire. A Pygmy had somehow trapped himself in a tire swing. It was chaos.

Keith was wondering when he should tell them it was decaf. Placebos are killer sometimes.

*

Some distant part of Val's brain thought she might have been played but she ignored it. Piper had no way of knowing of her soft spot for cute and small creatures, that the sight of tears would break down her walls faster than a wrecking ball. A sip of coffee wouldn't cause him any harm.

"You gonna come out with us, Hux?" She asked, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Most of the humans should be gone now that the zoom is happening so you don't have to worry about getting adopted. Plus... won't it be funny to see Nikolai handle this?"

Currant huffed at the blatant manipulation but even he doubted Hux would go out to see what had been brought upon the park. He was keen on watching Piper but just keeping up with his excitement from earlier had tired Currant out and he would have preferred going back into the van to sleep.

"let's get the kid some coffee," Marmalade drawled, slithering out before stopping at the chaos.

"Oh my," was Val's faint response, eyes wide as she stared at the sight of the zoomies. It was frightening. She didn't even want to go out there. "I don't know if I'm scared or impressed..."

*

In his defense, Piper wasn’t TRYING to be manipulative, he was upset about it. But usually, when he’d get fussy about needing sleep, people took him to bed and tried harder to have him sleep. But now he’s happy! He gets more zoom!!!

Currant could try to sleep in the van, but there were even MORE bitty mamba trying to push it over, some of them pushing from inside. Even with their combined might, it wasn’t happening.

Nikolai had to hiss some very stern warnings at Liam to keep him from helping, all while holding onto a teenaged, full-sized Pygmy that was trying his best to wiggle free.

Keith was coiled up next to Maia, having told her his trick.

And Hux was willing to watch from afar, if only to see the madness.

This only got better/worse when some random dude decided to make an impromptu donation of three dozen beach balls, including two gigantic ones. No one could escape from the park-wide impromptu game of dodgeball… except the pygmies and mamba that were reenacting the boulder scene from Indiana Jones.

*

Valerie groaned at the hoard gathered around her van, hoping that nothing went missing from inside and holding Currant back from storming it and driving the hoard away. It was just lucky that no larger Mamba or Pygmy were attempting to join in.

"I'll let you go find some coffee to drink but please come back to me when you start getting tired," Valerie fussed, lowering Piper to the ground. "Make sure you tell everyone goodbye too. We'll come back to visit but ask for numbers and bring them to me to save."

She fussed over Piper for a little bit longer before she let him zip off to get himself some zoom juice. The grass was soft enough that she had no shame sitting down, cheek propped on her palm. Currant and Marmalade wrapped around her to keep away the worst of the shenanigans.

"At least everyone is having fun..."

*

Piper nodded and gave Val a little kiss on her hand before going off. Keith was kind/smart enough to give the kid some Mountain Dew: much better tasting, but with actual caffeine, even if not as much as coffee.

Once it hit his system, Piper started to ZOOM, alternating between playing and excitedly talking about his adoption, hugging all his little playmates, and bringing some over to meet Val, Marmalade, and Currant.

He was explaining to some of the mamba - who had given up tilting Val’s car and were now grumbling about it being full of bricks - that he was gonna go home in that car (while chasing a beach ball in circles) when a particularly young bitty mamba shot out and glomped him.

“NO! No you don’t! Mine!” The mamba screeched.

“But I leaving!”

“No! You stay here! I protect.” Cobalt the mamba pouted, holding Piper to his chest and wrapping around him protectively.

“Isssss ‘kay Cobalt! Val’s nice! And Curry loves! They not hurt me.”

“No no no no no! No! You stay! No leave! Is mine!”

“You gonna get a person too!”

“I wan’ YOU!” Cobalt had worked himself into tears, not wanting to let go of Piper…

Piper wasn’t sure how to handle it, “Sssshhh! Shhhh! No cry! No cry! Is ‘kay! You’re real good! They just jealous! ‘Cause pretty scales!” He was just mimicking some of what Cobalt had said to make him feel better.

“I pretty?” Cobalt said, sniffling. “I miss you…” He thought for a little bit, then went over to Val and slithered on her with Piper in tow, “We go now!”

*

Even though there were a lot of Lamia zipping and zooming, Valerie tried to keep her attention on Piper instead. He was a ball of energy, making her tired just watching but filling her chest with joy right along with that. She was introduced to so many Lamia that she had no hope of remembering all the names being tossed at her.

She didn't see what was going on but she heard the screeching, the absolute dismay in someone's little scream. Her soul throbbed with pain and she hoped someone would come along to offer assistance because there was no way Valerie would be able to crush someone's feelings. Marmalade tensed beside her, feeling the feedback of pain within his chest.

It was made even worse when the owner of the screech slithered onto her and she was torn by how small the Mamba was. He was the smallest bitty Lamia she had ever seen and there was the hint of tears upon his face that tore her up inside. The little guy had nothing on Sangria's iridescence, few did, but he was such a pretty color.

Valerie looked around, hoping for someone to offer assistance before she gave in and took him home too. Petting his little head as soon as he seemed to have settled.

"Oh, little dragon," she cooed at the Mamba. "What has you so upset?"

Maybe if she stalled...

*

"You can't have Piper! Is mine! He no go! I keep!" Cobalt hissed. He knew better than to bite, even in the midst of a tantrum, but he was tempted. But then Piper would probably cry...

"But I want go!" Piper said.

"No!" Cobalt said. He clung stubbornly to Piper. "I protect forever! Can't go..."

"You protect good! But I go now."

"Noooooo!" Cobalt sobbed.

Hux couldn't watch any more of this, slithering back inside. It'd been mostly fun watching the others cause chaos, but he knew all too well how Cobalt felt...

Thankfully, the freed Oozy came to the rescue... "Heya kid... why the long face?"

"Piper's LEAVING! But he can't!"

"Sure he can. Yer old enough now. Both of ya."

"But-But..." Cobalt sniffled, nuzzling Piper.

"It ain't like you'll never see him again," Oozy said. "I've had friends get adopted, but they still come back all the time. And I know Val's gonna keep in great touch. He can still call you."

"Not same..." Cobalt said, half holding and half leaning on Piper. "He's friend..."

"I know kiddo... I know. But hey, you'll get someone too one day, y'know?"

"You haven't," Cobalt said with a huff.

"I'm a high-maintenance Corny, you're an awesome little mamba. We're two different things entirely. You'll be loved."

"... I want Piper with me," Cobalt said. "You stay?"

Piper kissed Cobalt's cheek, "Love too! But I go. I come back! And bring toys!"

"Promise?"

"Mm-hmm!"

"And talk! Phone talk!"

"Yeah!"

Cobalt sniffled, holding Piper close. "... 'kay." He then looked at Val, little stare withering. "Take care! Be extra nice and give treats! Tell him he look good! If you be mean, I bite you!"

"She nice!" Piper insisted.

"Better be..."

Meanwhile, in the background, Nikolai let out a loud shout of, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS DECAF?!"

*

She knew there was something wrong with her when she found the tantrum to be more adorable than anything. In typical Mamba fashion, his tantrum came down to someone taking what he viewed as his and a lot of yelling. Nikolai must have told them that biting was a very bad thing to do because he didn't try and take a chunk out of her in the midst of his ranting.

Oozy was a gift. Calming down the tantrum and saving her from giving in to the cuteness of the little Mamba's attitude. If he had been full-size she would have been more intimidated than she was but he was adorable before he was frightening.

"If I didn't have Sangria at home I'd take you too." Valerie couldn't hold the words back if she wanted to. "But I know a little dragon-like you will get a good home. Who wouldn't want such a pretty Mamba?"

Hopefully, the compliments helped because she would rather not get bitten.

"don' worry kid," Currant said, calling attention to his own warning stare. "val 'll take good care of piper. he'll have his own rock to bask on, his favorite candy, an' so many toys he'll be able to share with ya that all the other mamba 'll be jealous."

"not ta mention she might let piper bring ya sour candy jus' for you next time," Marmalade added. He heard Nikolai's shout and had a devious idea. "an' we can bring more coffee next time."

*

Cobalt sniffled again, but wiped his face and smiled up at her, "Yeah... 'M pretty cool! I gonna get good! Mm-hmm!" He giggled and nuzzled Piper. "You get good too. Deserve it. Miss you..."

"Miss you too. But is 'kay! I see again."

"Yes! And bring sour candies! And coffee!"

"Okay! We do!"

"Good!" Cobalt said. That said, he was still reluctant to go just yet... "We go play now."

"Okay!"

And they did! The two zoomed around the park together until Piper once more started losing the fight with sleep. Cobalt had to half-drag him back, and even then almost started crying again, but they said one see-you-later, and Piper curled up to sleep on the ride home...

And that Corny, who ate more sweets and has now conked out in the glove box, is apparently coming too.

*

Disaster averted, Val flopped back against Marmalade and Currant while Piper ran through his caffeine buzz with his friend. It was much better to see a happy Mamba than to see one that was likely contemplating biting. It likely wasn't long enough for the Mamba to come to terms with having to say goodbye but he did. Currant accepted Piper and they all wished everyone a good evening, saying their own see-you-laters.

"Everyone will sleep good tonight," Val mused, helping Currant into the front seat of the van so they could settle into the blankets. She searched around to make sure there weren't any stowaways and Marmalade assured her they'd all left. "We got a long drive ahead of us, I'll stop and get more snacks for the road."

She climbed into the drivers seat, feeling warm and good about how the day had gone. It was one of those perfect days where she made plenty of friends. Once at home she would put numbers into the phones and have Piper call so everyone would know he'd gotten there safe.

Marmalade picked a song for the start of the ride, Val singing along, and they began their journey home. Unaware of the hidden Corny in the glove box.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Want to join the fam? 13th Doctor x child reader

*Author’s note*

Hey gang well here we are again with yet another Doctor who request. To the anon who requested this I THANK YOU FOR YOUR INCREDIBLE PATIENCE. Now I made some slight changes to the reader’s characteristics so I hope that’s okay. Now again most of these updates that I’ll be doing will mostly be Doctor who based (from the endless amounts of DW requests I’ve had on my phone since last year, again anons I thank you for your patience and I am getting through them) but some Marvel ones will come out as well. So just sit back and enjoy these requests ;)

Warnings: Child neglect, malnourishment, human captivity, some angst and fluff.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@platawnic​

___________________________________________________________

I’ve been in this prison for—what feels like forever.  In fact I think it has been forever.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the possession of a man known as The Collector due to me being the last of the Timelords.  At first I didn’t know myself what I was, all I knew was that every now and then right at the point of death from malnourishment, my body grew warm and my appearance would change.

When the Collector first saw my change firsthand, he moved me from one cell to another where I had nothing but needles shoved into my arms and every now and then he not only took my blood but there was also this glowing gold light that would also go up into a canister and once it got full after a month of draining, he’d take it away and replace it with a new one.

On and on this went on and I began to think that this was to be my life for the rest of my days. I couldn’t die because all I would do was regenerate into a different person.  I was beginning to think that I would never get out of this horrible place, that the Collector would continue to misuse and neglect me.

That was until…….she came into my life.

I was trying to sleep in my 4x4 cell (it is not comfortable let me just tell you that) when I heard a knock at the solid glass of my prison.  There I saw the Collector standing there, his eyes full of obsession as usual.  His mouth gaped in awe as he said.

“Today is the day my little one.” Oh yeah that’s right.  I’m dying today.  The Collector has even gone far as to make a schedule for when I’m to be expecting to regenerate.  My current 12 year old body had been put through countless hours of testing, blood draining, neglect, and aura extraction.  And now the time has come for me to regenerate once again.

“I can’t believe it’s been your 9th change and you’ve given me more money and immortality than I could ever hope for.” Oh yeah I forgot to mention this one little detail.

Sometimes when the Collector is in his greatest moods, when the Tourist season arrives, hell have his greatest displays out for the public for all the gawk, point and take pictures of.  I was displayed when I was in the process of my 3rd change so everyone got to see me transform from a small 4 year old white child, to an 11yr. old brown skinned girl.

Now that it was time for me to regenerate once more and it was the day tourists from around the galaxy, and across space and time for them to come see his fantastic collection of mistreated, abandoned and unwanted things.

“Now then remember to make this your grandest metamorphosis yet. And also try not to burn any of the clients. Always bad for business if someone gets hurt.” I didn’t respond to him.  I never respond to him, no matter what torture he does whenever he tries to make me answer, I don’t give him the satisfaction of being broken before him.

He can continue to drain me dry but he’ll never break me.

*3rd Person POV*

Meanwhile just in the outskirts of the Collector’s shop, the familiar wheeze of the TARDIS soon echoed out.  The TARDIS went from a faint image to a full solid picture.

“And here we are gang. As promised, welcome to the Bermuda Tri—” soon stepping out of the TARDIS was the Doctor herself, and her little fam, Yaz, Ryan and Graham.

“Uhh Doc, this isn’t what I pictured the Bermuda Triangle to look like.” Graham said.

“What? Ahhh no you stubborn ol girl you do this again!? Every. Time I want to go somewhere I tell you to go, you do a 180!” She snapped as she slapped the side of the TARDIS.

“So……where exactly are we?” asked Ryan as he stepped out along with Yaz.

“It kinda looks like a combination of London and Los Angeles.” Yaz said.

“Honestly I’m not quite so sure myself of where we are. Stay close everybody. Never know what could be lurking around here.” The Doctor said to them.

“Should we—have a look around?” asked Graham skeptically.

“I mean it’s the only way, right Doctor?” Ryan said to the Doctor.

“Well normally I would say no when I don’t know of a certain location but the TARDIS always has a habit of sending me where I’m needed. Alright listen up gang,” she turned to her three human companions and explained to them in a firm tone. “We’re gonna have a little look around. But again I have no idea who or what lives here. So there is to be no going off on your own, no touching anything, don’t even speak to anyone. You are to stay where I can keep an eye on you. Is that understood?”

“Yes Doctor.” The three of them answered.  The Doctor nodded and soon the three of them walked on ahead.

They walk up a hill till they finally arrive at the borders of the city.  All around so many different species of creatures and people across space and time were gathered around just going about their day.

“It—looks like an ordinary in London. People going about their day, nothing really out of the ordinary.” Graham said.

“I wouldn’t go that far yet Graham. Let’s go, blend in well with the crowd. There’s—something doesn’t feel right for some reason.” The Doctor said.  As they walked they soon heard a few voices say.

“Have you heard about the Collector’s new showcase?” a young woman with albino skin and purple eyes said.

“I go there every year. I’m told he’s got her on display once again.” Said a mechanical green woman.

“Wait you don’t mean…..”

“Yes. It could be another transformation.”

“Then let’s go.” The two women raced on.  Yaz leaned towards the Doctor and whispered.

“Did you catch any of that?”

“I don’t know who exactly they’re talking about, but that’s our best clue as to why the TARDIS might’ve brought us here. Cause out here in the streets there’s clearly no danger. No fights, no war, not even an invasion.”

“Couldn’t hurt to take a look inside and follow those girls.” Ryan said.  So they secretly followed the two women.

Soon the two women turned into a crowd as hundreds upon hundreds of people walked right towards a tower-like building.  As our gang of time travelers went inside, they found that this tower was almost like a warehouse.  It’s darkened hallways lit only by the hollowed lanterns above.  As they continued walking, they noticed that it soon began to remind them of some kind of art show.

“Hang on, I know that thing.” The Doctor said as she suddenly stopped.

“Know what?” asked Graham.

“Over there.” She pointed to a very large cube like cell with an intricate design on each side. It was a circle with what looked like a maze-like pattern decorated along the inside of it.

“What is it?” asked Ryan.

“My old prison in a past life.” The Doctor answered grimly.  Yaz and Ryan walked up to it and they saw on the plaque the words.

PANDORICA BOX.

Ryan and Yaz looked at each other and Ryan shrugged.

“And that, I recognize that weapon over there.” She and Graham walked to it and Graham asked her.

“Is—is that what I think it is Doc?”

“Yes Graham. A cyberman head.”

“So…..what is this like some sort of art gallery of everything you know?”

“Possibly. But none of this is Timelord technology. However this place does seem to have almost everything I’ve encountered in my many lives.”

‘Ladies and gentlemen. Creatures and species far and in between. Please make your way to the back room for a show like no other. For the first time in decades, the changeling child has returned.’ The voice of a women came on the intercoms from above.

“The changeling child?” Ryan repeated confused.

“So changelings actually exist?” asked Yaz.

“After all we’ve seen, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Graham shrugged.

“I’m not so sure about that guys. C’mon. Stay close and keep to the back.” Soon everyone started heading towards the back room where a giant arena-like stadium stood. At the very center, the Doctor and her friends saw a young girl laying there at the center of the stadium in a clear box like cage.

“Oh my god.” Yaz gasped as she covered her mouth in horror.

“That poor girl is she—she’s completely malnourished. She’s practically skin and bones.” Graham said.

“Doctor. Who would do something like this?” Ryan sneered softly.  The Doctor looked closer and that’s when she saw the glowing hands on the young girl.  That familiar orange, yellowish glow.

“Oh my……”

“What is it Doc?” Graham asked.  But before she could say a word, an elderly man with spiked white hair and wearing a leather attire with a fur coat with multiple colorations came right to the cage and he said to the audience.

“Greetings my dearly beloved guests. As you have ventured into the far outreaches of space and time to see all of my beloved collections. I am proud to announce and reveal to you all for the first time in a very long time, my most prized possession. The changeling child.”

“Calling a child their possession. Boy I’d like to give that crazy git a punch across the face.” Graham hissed lowly.

“Easy Graham. Just watch.”

“Watch what exactly? Doctor what’s going on?”

“Just want to prepare you guys for what you’ll see one day with me.” Soon the young girl began to glow brighter and brighter till her whole face and hands were starting to glow like the sun.

Then with a burst of Timelord energy, a powerful fiery blast exploded from her and the crowd was just in awe of what they were witnessing.  The Doctor shook her head and muttered.

“She can’t be contained when a regeneration happens. It can cause significant damage to the next body.”

“What’s happening Doctor? Is she going to explode?” asked Ryan worriedly.

“No Ryan, just keep watching.” A cry was soon heard and the next thing everyone saw was that the young 12 year old white girl now transformed herself into a young 7 year old brown skinned child.  Her once blonde hair was now pure black and cut into pixie style haircut.

“Wait did she just—” Yaz started off.

“Fam. I’d like to introduce you all to a Timelord child.” The Doctor said in a stoic manner.

“Wait but—I thought you and the Master were the last of your people?” Ryan said.

“So did I. But that there was a regeneration. Known only to the Timelords themselves. No other creature or species in the Universe can do a transformation like that.”

“And it seems that freak’s using her as a main attraction for his Collection around the world.” Graham hissed angrily.

“Well what do we do? I mean we can’t just leave her here. Maybe this is what the TARDIS wants us to do.” Yaz said.

“But how can we rescue her? I mean we don’t even know the layout of this place.” Ryan said.

“Leave that to me. For now I want you guys to play out the roles of interested travelers. If any security goes snooping around, just play them off in any way you can. Trust me gang, right now that little girl down there could use someone whose been through this. And believe me I’ve been through it many, many, many times.”

“Alright Doc. But just know should you need us, we’re just a shout away.” Graham said.  She nodded to them and as the crowd began to leave the stadium, Ryan, Yaz and Graham joined the crowd while the Doctor stayed behind in the shadows and watched as some of the Collector’s helpers moved the child out of her display case and moved her back down to her proper cell.

*My POV*

After being put back in my cell I finally got the chance to look at my new form.  My once white skin was now brown and my hands were smaller. I must’ve de-aged again.  I felt around my face and it was now more rounder than it was previously.  My hair was also shorter, way shorter actually.  So short that I couldn’t even see what color it was.  But I had fingers, lots of fingers, 2 legs, two feet, eyes, nose, mouth, ears.  New body, new rules.

“Magnificent. This is almost like your 4th form but—lighter skin. And your hair, don’t really like it that short but it is what it is.” The Collector said as he pressed his hands up against my glass cage. “After I count the profits for today, we’ll proceed with the Timelord aura drain.” With a flick of his animal skin cape, he turned and left the room.

I lowered my head exhaustedly and let out a deep breath and soon saw the familiar glowing fog coming out of my mouth.  Then out of nowhere, my cage began to unlock itself but the Collector was nowhere in sight. As the glass walls lowered back down, I sat up in shock and looked around fearfully only to see a woman with short blonde hair wearing a greyish-blue trench coat.

She also wore a dark blue shirt with multiple colored stripes around the front, the color yellow was the main color that really struck out cause it was just piled up on both top and bottom of the other colors.  She also wore what looked like suspenders and brown boots.

But what really caught my attention were her eyes.  Her deep brown eyes.  Unlike the Collector whose eyes were always filled with crazed obsession, this woman’s eyes were filled with kindness, curiosity, and—astonishment.

“It’s alright. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“How can I—trust you?” wow new voice.  It was lighter—almost like the sound of a bell.

“I know this must seem strange to you. Having a stranger open up your prison but tell me this. If I wanted to hurt you, don’t you think I would’ve done it by now?” she asked me. I pondered the thought and realized she was right.

The Collector’s workers who would transfer me from my cell to my display case, they always took a shot using their electro-whips on me just for the sport of it.

“Who are you?” I asked her.

“Well believe it or not. I’m just like you. A Gallifreyian Timelord.”  I looked at her shocked.

She was a Timelord as well? But—the Collector said that I was the last of my kind.  When he found me as a baby, he told me that I was the only sole survivor.

“You’re lying.”

“Actually I’m not. How do I know I’m not lying you might be thinking? Well I can tell you that seven months ago, I was a white haired Scotsman.”

“Prove it.” I asked her. “That you’re a Timelord. How do I know you’re not lying?” she looked around before finding a stethoscope from a nearby stand.  She grabbed it and came up to me and placed the earpieces in my ears.

“Have a listen.” She placed the metal part against her chest and soon enough I heard the 4 heartbeats of the Timelord.  I looked up at her and she looked right at me with those soft eyes of hers and she said, “Well, what’s your verdict?”

“But—it’s impossible. I thought I was……I thought I was the only one.”

“So did I.” she said solemnly.  Her eyes now appeared to have a hint of sadness to them.  “What’s your name?” she asked me.

“I—I was never given one.” I said sadly as I looked down.  I heard her hum softly and that’s when she said.

“Well we can’t just call you nothing. Hmm let me think……I’m not good with coming up with names but I’ll give it a go.” She said before she began muttering to herself as she paced around me.  I looked at her intrigued and she would look right at me before getting right up into my face.

It was a little awkward having this strange woman get right up in my face but it didn’t make me feel intimidated (not like how the Collector makes me feel whenever he gets up in my face).

“Ah-ha! I think I came up with the perfect name!” she exclaimed happily.  I tilted my head. “Lyra!” I looked at her in disgust. “What? Oh c’mon that’s a brilliant name. You’d be named after a constellation. And Lyra is a Greek name Lyre, a Greek instrument. And a marvelous one at that.”

“I’m sorry it’s just that with……this current form I don’t know if Lyra is a good name for me.”

“Yeah I suppose so. Most beings usually pick a name that fits their look. Well like I told you I’m not really good at coming up with names. I don’t think I ever was.”

“I…..” I started off before trailing off.

“What? What is it?”

“It’s nothing I….I can’t say it.”

“Course you can. Hey you listen to me now love, you can say whatever you want. I’m not like that—monster whose treated you like his possession. So if you’ve got something to say, you can tell me.”

“I—I once did come up with a name during my 3rd transformation. But I don’t know if it’s any good.” She looked at me with encouragement telling me through her eyes that I could freely speak it out. “(Y/n).”

“(Y/n). Hmm……I like it. Yeah it suits you. Alright, (Y/n) I’m the Doctor and I’m busting you out of here.”

“Busting me out?”

“Yeah. You know setting you free, freeing you from your cage, all those other freedom metaphors and sayings. Bottom line is, is that you’re coming with me and my friends.”

“But—the Collector. He’ll know that I’ve escaped. He won’t let me leave.”

“That’s why I’ve got a plan. Now c’mon let’s at least get you out of this storage room and into some real light.” She extended her hand to me and I looked at it conflicted. “I promise (Y/n), as long as you’re with me. I won’t let him or anyone else harm you. I can help you, but you have to trust me first.”

I looked up at her warm brown eyes once more and they gave me a fluttery feeling in my stomach.  Was—was this what it feels like when someone’s kind to you? Finally I lifted my hand and I placed my hand in hers.

“Brilliant. Now can you stand and walk? I know that regeneration still takes time to cook but we kinda are on the clock.”

“I think so.”

“Okay, let’s get you off this thing and then we run.” She picked me up and set me down on the floor before taking my hand again and we took off.

We came to the main door which the Collector always kept lock and only he or his workers knew the combination.

“It’s no use, we’ll never get out of this room. He has it locked 24/7.”

“Good thing I’ve always got this.” She then pulled out a long silver or iron like thing with a crystal point at the end.  She pressed a button and aimed it right at the door’s control panels and a loud hum came out of it as the crystal point became a bright yellow color.

Soon enough I heard the locks being unlocked and the doors opened up.

“There that’s better.” She tossed her magic stick in the air before catching it back into her hand and putting it away into her coat. “Now come on, we’ll rendezvous with the others in the main lobby.” As we left the room I asked her.

“What was that thing?”

“What was what?”

“That thing you used to open the door?”

“Oh right! That was my sonic screwdriver. A handy device of my own invention. It can basically be used for anything. Bio readings, translation analysis, but most of all it can unlock any door. The one thing it isn’t used for is for killing. Because killing is senseless and fighting never solves anything. I hate weapons of any kind especially guns.” Her voice started to trail off into anger which made me a little scared seeing this bubbly, whacky woman now become an ice cold queen. “Sorry. I—tend to get a little dark whenever it comes to hate for violence. Now c’mon let’s keep moving.”

After going up several more levels and her using her sonic screwdriver to get the doors unlocked, we finally arrived at the main level.

“Alright, now my friends are in the lobby like I’ve said. So it’s just a straight forwards to—hang on.” She suddenly said urgently.  She stopped and looked around. “Something isn’t right. There were hundreds of people here just now and now it’s—it’s completely empty.”

“The shop isn’t closed cause it’s still light out. So—where is everyone?” suddenly the alarm sounded off and every entrance, window and door, were sealed off.  The red light of the alarm was the only source of light we had for awhile before it went completely dark.

“You thought I’d let you escape that easily?” then a bright light shined down just a few feet in front of us and there stood The Collector.  Behind him were three people, two men and one a girl around the Doctor’s age.

All three of them were not only being held by the Collector’s guards but from their feet to their hips were trapped in the crystal prison that I was familiar with. In some of his collections, the Collector loves to showcase his ‘prizes’ in crystal form with specially designed rings that encases whatever he wants in a crystal prison.

Trapping them alive.

“We’re sorry Doc. They caught us just before we could meet up.” Said the elderly white man.

“Let them go.” the Doctor stated firmly.

“Or what? See I’ve got basically almost everything across Time and Space but pure humans—well imagine the attractions they’ll bring us.”

“We’re not your property you crazy old bastard!” the young black man spoke up.  Which resulted in him being shocked by the Collector’s guards and the crystal formation went higher up his body from his hips now to his ribs.  He groaned in agony after his shock treatment and the Collector said to him in that low voice of his.

“On the contrary. All those that trespass on my home are my property. No payment in, you serve as a part of my Collection.” He turned back towards us and he continued, “Who would’ve thought that I would get the chance to not have one Timelord, but two. Such a rarity indeed.”

“Yeah bet you didn’t think this was going to happen when you woke up this morning.” The Doctor said sarcastically.  The Collector chuckled softly and that’s when I noticed the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver in her back pocket.  I looked around to make sure that no one was looking at me and I quickly took her sonic and stalked away towards one of the cells.

This was the only option I could think of that could give us enough time to get all of us out of here.  And finally put an end to the Collector once and for all so that no one else could be captured and experimented on again.  I arrived at cell 722 and pointed the screwdriver at the keypad which soon activated.

“This is madness. But you’re our only hope.” I walked inside and went right to work.

*3rd Person POV*

The Collector stared at the Doctor with obsessed eyes and he said to her.

“Who would’ve thought that there were two Timelords left in the entire galaxy. If only you were a male, then once my female one would take a mature form, I could’ve had you both make more Gallifreyian children.”

“Believe it or not I was a man. Actually many times before I’ve been a man.” The Doctor said.

“Interesting. So you can choose which gender you want to be.”

“I don’t really have control over my regenerations. They just happen and I stick with the form I get.”

“Pity. But no matter, you will soon join the child and you both will become my ultimate supply source and tourist attraction. While your friends become one of the many other displays I will showcase in my museum.”

“That won’t happen.”

“You’re so confident about that?”

“Yeah. See, I’ve been in rougher scrapes than this. Now this here, sure it’s a bit of a pickle but it’s way low on the amount of danger I’ve been in on a regular basis.” The Collector stroked his chin as he continued to stare at the Doctor with interest.

“So you’ve been everywhere and seen everything?”

“More than you can imagine pal. Now unless you’d like to be overloaded with the knowledge I’ve got, which trust me you don’t want to know, I suggest you free my friends, let me take the girl, and allow us to walk out of here quietly without another word.” The Collector chuckled icily and lowly and he said.

“And allow you to take my immortality away from me? Do you have any idea how powerful the essences of your kind is?”

“And that’s what makes people like you sick to my stomach. What you’ve been doing to that poor girl is inhumane! No one should ever be put through the hell you put her through! Extracting her Gallifreyian aura, draining her blood. Yeah I’ve seen the needle injections on her arms.”

“What you see as inhumane. I see as an opportunity. The essence of a timelord can give the bearer an immortal life. Even at the point of death, you can just regenerate yourself and start off fresh again. And now that I have too, I’ll forever be immortalized as the famed Collector of the last two Timelords!”

Suddenly the alarm began blaring out loudly.  Everyone looked around in confusion, the Collector had both confusion and anger.

“What is going on?” it was then they heard screaming from down the hall as some more of the Collector’s worker’s were fleeing for their lives.

“Sir! Sir! Prisoner 722 has been reactivated! It’s going on a rampage!” one of the workers said before it was suddenly shot at and he fell to the ground dead.

“No.” The Doctor softly enunciated. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Why did you have it here!? What makes you think you could contain such a monster!?” she sneered.

“Doctor what’s going on? What are you talking about?” then they heard it.  That haunting raspy, mechanical voice proclaiming.

‘WE ARE THE DALEKS! WE WILL REIGN SUPREME AND YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!’ Soon coming down the hallway was the Doctor’s most feared and hatred rival, a Dalek.

It was an older generation Dalek but it still had it’s program to search and destroy everything that isn’t Dalek based.

‘SURRENDER NOW OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!’ the Dalek proceeded to fire all over any everyone and everything.  While the Dalek was literally destroying everything in sight and bodies kept dropping like flies, over by Graham, Ryan and Yaz, they suddenly felt themselves getting free of their crystal prisons.

They looked down and there stood (Y/n) holding their three rings.  She slammed them on the ground and stepped on them.

“C’mon let’s go!” she whispered as the four of them raced over to the Doctor.  They dodged and nearly got blasted by the explosions of the Dalek’s gun.  Once they came up to the Doctor she turned to (Y/n) and said.

“Were you responsible for this?”

“I didn’t have a choice. This was the one thing they never went to. All of them were too afraid to go near it when it reactivated itself years ago.”

‘IDENDITY DETECTED. THE DOCTOR IS HERE!! THE DOCTOR IS THE ENEMY OF THE DALEKS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!’ The Dalek suddenly screamed out.

“RUN!!!” The Doctor cried out as we ran out of the lobby and towards the side exit (that had no just been created thanks to our Dalek).  

*My POV*

We quickly raced out but I was suddenly grabbed and I was pinned against the Collector’s chest.

“You’re not going anywhere! If I die then you’re coming with me!” I squirmed and tried to free myself from the Collector’s grip when suddenly he was shot in the head and he dropped down to the ground.  The Dalek rolled up to me and it’s scope-like eye stared right at me.

‘TIMELORD ENERGY DETECTED! TIMELORD ENERGY DETECTED! EXTERMINATE!’ I quickly jumped out of the way and just barely managed to escape the death beam.

“(Y/N)!! RUN!! GET AWAY FROM IT!!!” As quick as I could I raced out of the building.

It wasn’t easy to escape the Dalek cause it kept coming right after us firing shot after shot, explosions coming up around us.  Finally we came up into a blue box that said POLICE BOX written on top.

“In here quick! The forcefield’s up now, but it won’t last for long!” the Doctor cried out.  One by one we each piled into the TARDIS before she shut the doors.  As we all ran inside my first reaction was that it was bigger on the inside.  Could this be more of my people’s technology or is this some kind of magic?

The Doctor quickly flipped a few of the controls and soon a wheezing sound came from the center of this room and a large light shined from the center console that stood in the middle of the controls.

“There. Daleks alone can’t navigate through space and time without a ship. We’re safe. Are you all alright fam?”

“I’m good.” Said the woman.

“I’m thankful that I won’t end up as a display case.” Said the elderly man.

“He’ll survive. And I’m okay too Doctor.” The young man said.  The Doctor sighed with relief and pressed her hand up against her chest over her two hearts.  She then turned to me and asked me as she knelt down in front of me.

“Are you alright (Y/n)?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that—thing. It was the only thing I could think of as a distraction that I knew they would be too afraid to fight back against.” I looked down sadly but she lifted my chin up and she said as she stroked the back of my head, burying her fingers into my short hair.

“The most important thing is that you’re okay. And that you’re free now.”

Free.  I—I couldn’t believe it. For the first time in my life, I was finally free of the Collector, I would no longer be his lab rat or neglected ever again.  He was dead and he couldn’t hurt me or anyone else again.

“But I must ask you one important question first?” she said in a serious manner.  I tilted my head to the side in confusion and said.

“What?”

“How do you feel about going to Barcelona with me and the fam?” I looked around and these three people who had no idea who I was, all nodded with warm smiles on their faces. I turned to the Doctor and immediately hugged her.

There was soft laughter all around as she hugged me back.  I nuzzled into her shoulder and I whispered to her.

“Thank you, thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. Now then, let me introduce you to the gang.” The Doctor then took me over to the three people and introduced me to Ryan, Yaz, and Graham. And she introduced them to me as the second to last Timelord from Gallifrey.

From then on, I stayed with the Doctor and her friends.  We traveled throughout the entire galaxy and back and forth through time. Eventually there came a time when I went from calling her Doctor to mum.  She was my savior, my protector, my mother.  And I will always be grateful to the day when she and her friends came to save me.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Strange the Dreamer. By Laini Taylor. New York: Little, Brown Books, 2017.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: YA fantasy

Part of a Series? Yes, Strange the Dreamer #1

Summary: The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around— and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he’s been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance or lose his dream forever. What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving? The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries—including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo’s dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? And if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: blood, violence, drug use, rape, sexual slavery, abduction and imprisonment

Overview: I really enjoyed Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, so I decided to give her new work a go. Overall, I also really enjoyed Strange the Dreamer because it had a lot of things that are characteristic of Taylor’s writing that I love - lush, lyrical prose; tragic, star-crossed love; a political conflict involving otherworldly creatures. The reason why I’m giving this book 4 instead of 5 stars mainly has to do with the pacing and the way events played out. There wasn’t anything wrong, I think, with the way Taylor handled her story - it’s just that I felt like things started to rush to a close too quickly, and I would have liked to spend more time in the book exploring character emotions.

Writing: Taylor’s prose tends to fall into two categories: lyrical and descriptive or straight-forward and economical. Part 1 of this book is more lyrical; the metaphors are more fantastical and the prose evokes a sense of longing and fascination. Taylor really captures the feeling of being immersed in a library, surrounded by stories, as well as what it’s like to have a dream (not a dream in your sleep - more like a goal or a wish that has a small or nonexistence likelihood of coming true). Part 1 was probably my favorite part of the book for this reason, as subsequent sections tended to lose that lyrical quality and fall into a style more typical of YA books.

Taylor’s pace is also fairly well-done in that I didn’t feel like I was being rushed or that I was plodding through the book. The only thing I would change in terms of pacing is the book’s ending; I felt a lot of things were dropped on the reader all at once, and though they were foreshadowed earlier in the book (which I very much appreciated), I tend not to like endings where too much happens.

Before I close this section, a couple of notes on descriptions and worldbuilding: though I know teenagers have sexual urges, I was a little put off by the descriptions of teenagers’ bodies in certain places. I can remember a few instances where Taylor describes the look of one character’s breasts, and though it wasn’t gratuitous, I didn’t like that these descriptions were included. I also thought the worldbuilding detail of “women get tattoos on their bellies as a rite of passage/coming of age marker when they become fertile and Sarai longs for one of her own” was a little uncomfortable. It made me feel like the world Taylor built was concerned with showcasing female reproductive capacity, and that just seems exclusionary. While it could have worked if the story was more about pushing back against reproductive regulation or exploring what such tattoos would mean for trans characters, as the book stands, that doesn’t really happen, so it was a weird detail that I felt distracted from the main themes.

Plot: This book primarily follows Lazlo Strange - an orphan who dreams of finding the lost city of Weep - and Sarai - the daughter of a dead god and a human who must hide her existence in order to stay alive. Lazlo is surprised one day when some inhabitants of Weep - led by someone called “the Godslayer” - show up in his library, asking for assistance from the land’s greatest scientists. Though Lazlo isn’t a scientist, he is the most knowledgeable person about Weep and its culture, so the Godslayer elects to take him along. Meanwhile, Sarai and several other demigods live in a secluded Sanctuary, hiding from the inhabitants of Weep so that they won’t be slain on account of their parentage.

Without spoiling anything (which is kind of hard, since there is a lot that happens), I will say that I really liked the central conflict of this book. Taylor does a good job of setting up a problem with no black-and-white solutions; it seems like everyone had a legitimate reason for acting the way they do, and no matter what happens, someone will be hurt.

But perhaps the thing I appreciated most about the plot was that Taylor never sets up a surprise twist that comes out of nowhere. I feel like I’ve read a lot of YA books that drop a bomb on the reader with no set up, and I personally feel like such twists make the story feel less cohesive. Taylor sets up all her reveals and twists by dropping hints early and frequently, and rather than make the story feel dull, I felt like they made the end emotionally fulfilling.

If I had one criticism of the plot it would be that the romance doesn’t feel genuine. Lazlo and Sarai seem to fall in love with each other too quickly, which made it seem like they got together because they just hadn’t had opportunities to meet other people. I didn’t see what they saw in each other aside from looks and special qualities like “oh, he’s able to share my dreams” or “she was kind to me when so many other people weren’t.” I wanted more out the romance, like Sarai falling for Lazlo’s kindness and Lazlo falling for Sarai’s compassion towards those who would harm her. Maybe there was some of that, but it was definitely overshadowed by lengthy descriptions of kissing, which I wasn’t much a fan of. I also wasn’t really a fan of the “dates” that they went on; some parts were cute, but overall, they dragged.

Characters: Lazlo, one of our protagonists, is likeable in that he’s pretty much the embodiment of a lot of book nerds. He starts off shy, completely absorbed with fairy tales and folklore, and loves to roam the abandoned stacks in his library. What I liked most about him, though, was his willingness to help people even if they treat him poorly. For example, there’s a character named Theryn Nero who is basically a Science Bro. He’s rich, beloved by everyone, and gets famous for cracking the secret of alchemy. While he puts himself up as the lone genius, he was actually aided by Lazlo and takes sole credit for a lot of things that Lazlo proved to be key in discovering. Lazlo, though annoyed, never lets his feelings get in the way of helping Nero when the greater good is at stake, and I really admired that.

If I had any criticisms of Lazlo, it would be that I wish his “dreamer” status or knowledge base was put to better use. After Lazlo gets to Weep, he isn’t quite as interesting as he was before, probably because he no longer needs to use his vast knowledge of stories to make his way through the world.

Sarai, our other protagonist, is fairly sympathetic in that all her problems feel undeserved. She is forced to stay locked away in a hidden Sanctuary in order to protect herself and her little found family (composed of other demigods), and though it’s for the best, it also feels stifling. I really liked that Sarai was not single-mindedly fixated on revenge for the things that happened in her past. Without spoiling anything, I will say that something happened which put the demigods and inhabitants of Weep in conflict with one another, and there is no easy solution that would guarantee that the demigods stay alive. Sarai has a lot of dreams like Lazlo - of finding family, of living a normal life, of living among the humans - but it’s not really viable for her, and instead of letting hate consume her, she tries to think up other ways of existing.

Sarai’s “family” is also charming. The group consists of 5 demigods who are the last remaining offspring of the slain gods, and all of them feel fairly complex. They all possess some kind of magical “gift”: there’s Sarai (who can produce supernatural “moths” that allow her to enter people’s dreams), Ruby (a girl who can turn herself into flames), Feral (the only boy, and he can summon clouds), Sparrow (a girl who can manipulate plants), and Minya (a girl who can make ghosts do her bidding). I liked that these characters had different personalities that often put them in conflict. Ruby is boy-crazy and seems to be obsessed with sex. Sparrow is more passive but has sweet moments where she makes a “flower cake” for Ruby’s birthday and braids Sarai’s hair. Minya is completely consumed by her desire for revenge, and it presents some real barriers to finding a solution to the group’s problems.

The supporting characters down in Weep are also fairly compelling. The Godslayer is sympathetic in that he doesn’t revel in his heroic image or title; instead, he feels complex and seemingly warring emotions tied to guilt over what happened to Weep and his role in it almost 20 years prior to the events of this book. The Godslayer’s companions are also sympathetic and have emotions that are easy to understand, and I loved that they seemed to take to Lazlo so quickly. They welcome all outsiders with open arms, but they have a soft spot for Lazlo, which I liked because it meant that he didn’t have to face bullying or gatekeeping from people he had longed to meet his entire life.

The inhabitants of the world outside of Weep were interesting. There’s Theryn Nero, who seemed like he would be a primary antagonist but doesn’t have enough “screen time” to truly be a threat. I liked that his conflict with Lazlo was low-key - it was intense enough to be annoying, but no so intense that their rivalry consumed the whole story or put petty emotions above the greater good. The other “scientists” who follow the Godslayer back to Weep served their purpose; not all of them had rich, complex lives, but they didn’t really need to because if they did, the story would feel crowded.

Overall, there weren’t any characters I disliked, per se. While I do wish Lazlo got to develop differently, there wasn’t much wrong with his character, and I think all of the main players had interesting backstories and motivations, and I appreciated the layer of complexity they all had. I do wish there had been more queer characters though. There is one wlw couple, though they aren’t too prominent in the grand scheme of things. Of course, that could change, as there is a whole second book to go through, but I wish some of the demigods had been lgbt+ so it felt like Taylor’s world wasn’t overwhelmingly straight and cis.

TL;DR: Despite some pacing problems at the end and minor details that didn’t fit my personal tastes, Strange the Dreamer is a lush, evocative fantasy about the power of dreams. Readers who enjoy epic fantasy and stories about gods, star-crossed love, and will probably adore this book.

[traumatized-motherfuckers]

Friendship Dissolutions; A Lesson in Asshole Trauma Reactions

So this is normally my school day, but I’m feeling the need to dig into something else this morning. The past events of this weekend, annnnd the past nearly two years. Because, if you  hadn’t heard, relationships are hard and I like to embarrass myself by telling you about all my fuck ups.

You know, romantic relationships are a disaster for yours truly, but I always thought I was pretty good at the friendship thing. Since high school I’ve almost always had robust friendly relationships - both in depth and breadth. With the exception of a few difficult points in my life since 16, my phone has never been quiet, my weekends have only been isolating when I’ve been isolating myself, and I’ve always felt like I had humans on my side who were closer to kin than my actual family.

The thing is, there have been periods when this hasn’t been the case. I want to say that it’s generally when I’m in my worst mental health downfalls, but I don’t think that’s universally true. There have been variable reasons for separating myself from other people, or vice versa. Sometimes getting too busy, sometimes naturally growing apart, sometimes getting too obsessed with a romantic partner.

But, taking a more analytical view, underlying my lost friendship events, trauma has often been one of the influences that corrupted my friendships and left me lonely, even if it doesn’t seem like it at face value. The thing is, the trail of breadcrumbs might go back 20 years or so. I might not have been in a full-blown trauma state at the time, but those early life non-learnings about relationships have left their mark. So, yes, I do believe that CPTSD is the prerequisite for interpersonal disruptions and we’re not alone in that.

Anyways, in this Fucker’s life, for the past almost 2 years I’ve been in one of those friendship lulls. I’ve had casual friends, roommates, work-associates, distant relationships, some of those hey-how’s-it-going-every-two-months relations. But I haven’t had those deep, rich, all-encompassing friendships that used to define my existence. The ones that used to make me feel safe enough to have an existence, at all.

It’s all because I lost my core group of friends, I didn’t understand and couldn’t fix the problem, and I had no idea how to move forward.

And this last time when I lost everyone I loved, it was definitely due to trauma. Acute, historical, and recovering trauma, to be specific. It was a horrible period of my life, I was a human wrecking ball, and I had no emotional control… because, partially thanks to said friends, I never had to develop those skills.

Basically, I’ve been on my own since a whole series of mental health related isolation events and relationships dissolutions that have persisted since - I want to say 2019 - but to be more holistic, the ship started sailing earlier than that. Like, when I was born.

This has all come to mind more than usual because, this weekend? I had a strange rush of humans back into my life. For the first time in a long time, I saw my best, closest, most important old friends, who were closer to siblings…. In our natural habitat, with our normal friendship routines, with hundreds of memories from the past decade flying around the room.

And today… or, realistically, since I tried to go to sleep after seeing them each day this weekend… I have the relationship reckoning to deal with. The emotional and cognitive processing of everything that’s happened. The lost years. The sense of abandonment. The feeling of being cast out of a family. The inkling that everyone was talking about me. The realization that I was acting a fool, and maybe they should be talking about me. The sense that all parties were partially responsible, but I was the one to blame. The voice in my head that has called me a crazy, miserable, unlovable mess the entire time I debated this at 6am and 6pm and 3am for the past several years.

And now, in the aftermath, I have to work through the dynamic cocktail of feelings, the sense of waiting for the other shoe, and the big decision - are these relationships that I feel secure pursuing again?

And I don’t think I’m alone in this one.

So, today I thought it would be good to talk about this. The history of losing my favorite people on the planet, how I perceived it at the time, how I see my own trauma-actions fucking shit up in hindsight, how I’ve forgiven myself for being such a wild one, and… well… my hesitancy to have close friendships with humans who hurt me in the past. The ways I realized that being separate was beneficial to my mental health and life progress. The self-sabotaging enablement patterns that I now recognize, ran deep, in our old group of friends. The fear that being around them again will let my trauma brain run away with me.

Woo - it’s a whole personal relationship reckoning over here. Let’s just do this, so I can get to my school work at some point soon.

History

So let me set up this situation. You need the background details, of which, there are many dramatic twists and turns.

Be me, Spring of 2019. My romantic relationship with my ex in Atlanta - the musical narcissist that I followed to the city - is going terribly. Since we moved things have been rocky, but now our relationship has been pumped full of disappointment, unfair expectations, emotional codependency, resentment, horrific fighting, and abuse of all colors. Every day is a battle. We’re rarely ever “happy” together. We’re closer to enemies than friends. And we live under the same roof - the one his parents bought for him, outright in cash - to make matters even more fun.

Other than him, I’m alone in this city. I work at the brewery, where no one really likes me. I have one friend from work, but little time to interact thanks to the demanding schedule of my ex with his gigs and out-of-state child visitation.

Financially, my savings have been depleted by floating my significant other’s horrible decisions for the past 2 years. We can never get ahead. He never pays me back for anything. I’m basically in his pocket, as far as needing resources to survive.

As you can imagine, and as I’ve described previously, my mental health is in THE SHITTER. Maybe worse than it’s ever been, although this is hard to judge against some of my earlier years in my 20’s. I’m definitely ramped up in an aggressive and defensive trauma state more than ever before, thanks to living with my aggressor every day. I feel like I’m surviving against the will of my partner, who seems to legitimately be doing his best to drive me into an early grave every single time the sun rises. He’s moved into the territory of intentionally triggering me for hours on end, upsetting me to the point of mental breakdowns, and then gaslighting me for “acting so crazy.” Things have become dangerous, I have no one to turn to, and no cash to get myself into a better situation… not that I know what a better situation even looks like.

But one day, I left. Packed my two bags, went to work, wound up at that single sort-of-friend’s house, never went back home.

And that’s when the real nightmare started. I mean, my ex was a terror over time as we lived together, but a narcissist scorned is a narcissist determined to ruin your fucking life. He harassed me daily via text, phone call, FB messenger, email, stalkings… whatever you can think of. When I blocked him on everything, he started trying to leverage our therapists against me until they refused to interact anymore. He wouldn’t let me into his house to get my stuff. He tried to have me arrested for attempting to do so, after he made arrangements with me to move that weekend. He suddenly refused to even acknowledge that he owed me a dime, and found a way to tally up venmo transactions to show that I actually owed him. He took my only support - our dog, who was really my dog - away and wouldn’t let me see him. Later, he reported my car stolen, so I had to purchase a new one without warning.

The list goes on and on. Just, assume every pathetic, cruel, desperate attempt at getting under someone’s skin and reminding them that they had the audacity to leave you. That’s what was going on in my world.

Meanwhile, with those financial and social pressures I mentioned earlier. No close friends in the area, no spare cash, an unstable job where I was on the chopping block for the reason of “the CEO didn’t like my personality,” nowhere to live, no idea where to go next or how to start a whole new life.

Annnnnd this is right about when my closely knit friend group back in Illinois sort of, well, dipped.

My bestest, best, most treasured friend in my lifetime had always been there for me. But now, she wasn’t. We had exchanged a handful of phone calls over the past month in the aftermath of this relationship ending, but she had been pretty detached from it. I wasn’t offended, because she had certainly heard enough of the drama in real time… of course she was tired of hearing about it...  but I was feeling especially alone and incapable of handling everything on my own, so the distance was difficult, nevertheless. Then, one day she told me that I was being too much for her. I had too high of expectations. It had been bothering her for a while. She needed me to understand and give her some space.

And this was the completely avoidable beginning of the end of my friendships. Let’s talk about why.

How I perceived it

So, I’m pretty sure you can guess how I took this challenging message from my best friend. Uh, poorly. I was so shocked that in my darkest hour, my comrade would feel like my problems were out of her paygrade. It felt like a stab to the heart and straight down through the gut. Here I was, completely alone and isolated, reaching back to my most trusted companions for a lifeline to keep my head above water, and… nothing. She didn’t want to reel me back into the boat.

I responded with some shitty messages about how I really wasn’t asking that much from her and I didn’t appreciate being blindsided by her sudden decision to get rid of me. I had only taken up a few phone calls to talk things through based on her schedule. I had visited her one weekend as I went to a job interview nearby. I had asked her to come visit me soon, so I could feel less alone for a few days. I didn’t think it was fair that she was responding this way. I couldn’t believe she would turn her back on me at this particular moment.

And so, the rift developed. We stopped speaking. I started sobbing. I was absolutely beside myself, as if I hadn’t already been. This wasn’t what I wanted, at all, but I also felt like I had no control in it.

.......

Like it? Well I’m too lazy to post the whole thing here. Check t-mfrs.com for the full blog AND the podcast recorded version. Yawelcome. 

www.t-mfrs.com 

(Traumatized Motherfuckers)

[avionvadion]

More of my old pokemon drawings! Since... I’m apparently back in that obsession now. Frick. Oh well. These were for chapters 10 and 12 respectively. The Underground Hideout and The Taste of Freedom. 

Basil: Bulbasaur. Belladonna: Weepinbell. Ansem: Eevee. 

There is a lot of dark topics surrounding this story, such as kidnapping, trauma, and abuse, so... if that makes you uncomfortable please don’t keep reading. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22998952/chapters/54987940

Grunt, the girl, is  thirteen. Various factors such as stress, depression, and malnourishment had caused her growth to be greatly stunted so she looks like a small child. One of her hands is crooked from an injury she received growing up in Team Rocket, the majority of her arm numb as a result of poor healing. She met Steven YEARS ago, which is the very start of the story, when he was ten and she was four. They made a promise over a broken dawn stone to meet again after she was taken in by social services, but then Team Rocket happened. Because of her lack of a name they called her “Grunt” to mock her future as a Team Rocket grunt. 

As a result of learning from the news that his very new friend got taken, Steven makes it a goal to track them down. Several years pass with no luck and everyone convinces him to give up, so he focuses on his career instead. But then... the headquarters blows up, because a certain legendary pokemon was told the truth and escaped. And he picks up where he left off, aiming to avenge the friend everyone is convinced is long dead or a member of Team Rocket, with Wallace and Winona’s help. (This is where the conspiracy theorist Steven drawing desire comes in, since he has all these old newspapers and stuff for all the Team Rocket sightings and missing children/pokemon) 

Meanwhile, Grunt- having recently escaped due to the explosion- ends up journeying, very reluctantly might I add, with Brock and eventually Blue, to strengthen her pokemon by taking on the gym leaders, heading back to Hoenn, and freeing all the children/pokemon being held captive by Team Rocket, and hopefully reunite with that friend she can no longer truly remember- the dawn stone being the only thing she had that reminds her that he had once existed. 

The man antagonists in this story are Richard (Rich) and Velga, Giovanni, and all of Team Rocket. (Jesse and James will make their appearance in ORAS) 

Chapter 10 Bit: I had been more than prepared to defend myself against anything the adult could have done. The battle went by easier than expected, especially compared to Rich and Velga, and his tactics reminded me more of those random goons found lurking about in Mt. Moon when Brock and I had been searching for the fossils. What neither of us had been expecting, however, was what happened after I defeated him.

"Wh… What!?"

"I told you before," I growled, starting to feel the familiar sensation of frustration as my words continued to fail in being understood by this person, "I'm not joining you."

"But… with your skills you could totally become a top leader!" He protested. "Your pōkemon and leadership are incredible!" When he saw I was not being swayed he faltered, taking several steps back. His teeth ground together and his eyes lit up with rage, frustration on his face. "You and that boy… damn it all! Do you realize what you're turning down!? You selfish, spoiled little kids will never understand what it's like to be part of something great! Not like this! So I guess… I'll just have to show you."

"Explain!" Brock frowned deeply when the adult started to cackle, the teen stepping forward and readying to summon a pokemon at a moment's notice. "What are you trying to do? Why does Team Rocket want to use kids so badly?"

"Hm?" He tilted his head, blinking. "Oh, you haven't figured it out? You really are just a child."

I closed my eyes, expression growing empty and solemn. It was such an obvious answer, one I had learned a long time ago. Considering how he's acted so far, I knew my travelling companion would not like the answer. Ignorance, in cases like these, was complete and total bliss. But when living under such terrible conditions like I had for so long ignorance was a curse and knowledge was power. With his view of the world, I knew the truth would only enrage him further should he find out.

"Brock, don't…"

The boy looked back at me, confused when he heard my voice trail off and go quiet. "But you want to know, right? You deserve to know! Grunt, you-"

"Grunt?" The adult echoed. Realization dawned on his face and he whirled around, staring at me with big eyes. "You can't be… no, no, no- hold on. Yes, of course! How did I not realize!? You were there that day, weren't you? The day the headquarters blew up…"

The hate on his face intensified and Brock tensed, chills going down his spine as he took a fearful step back, holding a shaky arm up in front of me, the boy bravely pushing me behind him. His actions no longer surprised me, though the logic behind them did. "It wasn't her fault!" He protested, defending me. The way he said it made it almost sound like that sentence would solve everything; that it would make all the hurt go away. Brock, despite his fear, spoke with confidence.

Unfortunately, he knew nothing. I still haven't explained everything to him.

Him believing that I didn't know why children were being used was proof of that. I knew all too well why kids like me were targeted; I just… found it hard to speak about it. I think I just didn't want to upset him anymore than he already was over my situation, which was weird. He shouldn't be so upset about it; it wasn't like my life was something particularly special that should be deserving of attention, and yet… here we are.

He said I was the one who cared too much, but it was so obviously the other way around. This only showed more with Brock's kind words.

Unfortunately, the person across from us did not care to listen. He was bristling with rage, only hearing and focusing on what he wanted to. "It was… It was you! You little brat- my friend died in that fire!"

I flinched at those words, the guilt washing over me like a tidal wave. It was suffocating, the weight of the lives taken crushing me inside. My head ducked down as he continued to scream, Brock's back being the only thing blocking him from my view. The boy kept me behind him as best as he could as we started to become surrounded- all the trainers from before crowding around us and removing their disguises, revealing the large red R that was plastered over all of their chests.

"That's not on you," I heard Brock say firmly, speaking to me and momentarily snapping me out of my darker thoughts, his attention never leaving the evil trainers around us, "you didn't mean for it to happen."

But... I still caused it. I freed the legendary pōkemon that exploded the building.

Their deaths were on my hands. I murdered them.

And these people… those that were little kids had actually been wearing well-made masks, revealing very small adults. They were all Team Rocket. In my panic to rescue Blue I made a very grave mistake; I stopped observing. If I had paid the slightest bit of attention to their attire or appearance anymore than I had then this could have been avoided. I knew their tactics inside-out and yet I let this happen.

I… I screwed up. Frick.

Why do I keep making the simplest of mistakes? Was it because this was the outside world?

It was so much larger and vast than I had ever expected it to be, and despite my reluctance to trust strangers I still found myself letting down my guard, fooled by the kindness that had been shown to me by so many. This was going to cost us dearly.

The people started to grow closer and I tensed, watching as Ansem and Basil growled at the Team Rocket members. There were so many of them; I could handle one or two of them easily, but six? The leader yelled at me, cursing my existence, and without realizing I found myself grabbing onto the hem of Brock's jacket, scared as the consequences of my foolishness caught up with me, clinging onto the newer light shining before me in desperation for comfort.

I… caused this.

I failed. Just like back in the caves, I… couldn't protect anyone.

We were totally trapped.

Brock glanced over his shoulder at me before turning around, wrapping his arms around me. I was shaking, barely breathing as horror and guilt took over, the older teen keeping me pressed close to his chest protectively. He called out to my pōkemon, catching their attention as I started to shut down and surrender to my darker emotions. "Ansem, Belladonna, Basil! Get us out of here!"

"Oh, no you don't! Aerodactyl, go!" The violet-haired man raised a hand outwards, eyes flashing dangerously. A large gust of wind appeared, nearly blowing us all off our feet. Suddenly a big pōkemon appeared from a pōkeball, flying high into the air, beating its wings. An ear-piercing screech erupted from its throat, making it difficult to hear the goon speak. "If it weren't for the boss wanting you alive, I'd kill you myself! So instead, I'll have you all suffer! "

The ground began to shake, and Brock stumbled sideways- being forced to let go as I staggered backwards. Basil panicked and leapt into his arms, scared of being seperated, and Ansem started to bark again and dashed towards me, Belladonna right behind him.

Just where was this earthquake coming from? It wasn't from his Aerodactyl; it was coming from…

...underground?

Oh frick, oh frick, oh Arceus, oh gods-

I'm so sorry-!

We're going to be killed!

I screwed up!

This is all my fault!

Why did I escape so soon!?

The ground itself began to open up, shifting as two metal slabs drifted apart, and as I sat there frozen in terror Brock was shouting, calling out me as he stumbled over, trying to get to me and the rest of my pōkemon. Basil wailed loudly, tears in his eyes, and in my shock it took me a second too long to notice Brock's outstretched hand. I struggled to move, constantly knocked back down by the violent shaking of the earth, and in my desperation I reached out for him.

This was all too familiar.

In the recesses of my mind, buried deep into my memory from a time long ago, I remembered. It wasn't the first time I bore witness to such a thing, but I was certainly never on it when it happened. It was just like how the Hoenn base opened up when I was first stolen away and… when I left to Kanto on that cursed helicopter Rich and Velga made me ride.

And, deeper still, I had the feeling that I once reached out like this for someone. Who, I wasn't sure, but the sensation of a memory was there- trying to claw its way to the surface and tearing at my brain, forcing my skull to throb even more than it already was.

The Team Rocket goon raised his voice, shouting at us with a crazed grin, rage in his eyes. "Your pōkemon, your supplies; they'll all be ours!" He declared. "And you, Grunt, traitor to our kind, will suffer alongside your foolish companion!"

That was when the ground beneath me gave way, crumbling to pieces, and as I fell through the trap door I saw a quick flash of green-and-brown as Brock leapt after, following me down into the underground like a fool.

"Together forever! Trapped in the underground maze we've created!"

Rather than air, I thought of water- cold, freezing water that was filled with debris, and skies that seemed to boil with heat. Falling deeper and deeper, sinking below the surface.

Stuck… in the terrifying abyss of darkness.

As we tumbled deep into the black I muttered not so much as a word, not even able to scream, only watching with wide eyes as the light above us vanished. For a moment, as the trap doors closed and we continued to fall, all hope was lost. I found myself wondering if this was truly the end.

"A-Are you okay? What's wrong?"

It was still there- buried in the recesses of my mind. As much as I felt I should start ignoring it, I couldn't help but find that the traces of connection still held strong. My heart just couldn't let go. Everything always went back to that one person, after all, and I spent so long surviving on the pure hope of seeing him again. Even now he was haunting me, the memory of that promise keeping me rooted to this earth.

Earth…

So many years I spent living on this planet; obeying orders, acting as the puppet I was groomed to be, and plotting schemes that were only doomed to fail. Everything I ever dreamed of or desired to obtain was just too far out of reach, and they were all centered around that boy I had met so long ago. As time past my goals did shift, focusing more on the rescue of the other children, but the fact remained- I wanted to see him again.

To thank him for saving me so many times.

But… it was all an illusion. Even this freedom I have now is false.

I'm still trapped by Team Rocket.

And now… I've never felt more useless. Falling endlessly through nothingness, mind and heart slowly giving up as everything went downhill once more. It wasn't as if I truly desired to go on this journey in the first place; all I wanted was to find the police, inform them of the hideout, and then go on my way to find that mysterious boy whom I made a promise to. Yet… those plans failed too.

Everything I come up with just… fails.

Perhaps this was the world's cruel sense of justice- to get back at me for causing such a tragedy. Team Rocket was full of cruel and terrible people; they were evil beyond belief. But that didn't mean the deserved to die. Those evil enough to kidnap children and torture them, stealing them away from their families, and even go so far as to experiment on innocent pōkemon…

They needed to be imprisoned. That fate, that kind of suffering, was far worse and more befitting.

But… I was starting to believe that there was no such thing as justice. Only karma, the world making twists and turns to toy with the lives of those that lived on its back.

"Don't forget about me, you hear!?"

I'm sorry. I did. I remember your words, though the voice that once accompanied them is long gone. It was thanks to you that I became so good at surviving, yet I'm afraid that that itself was a grave mistake. My existence only ever seemed to cause others to hurt. Whether it be by putting them in danger or inadvertently hurting them with words…

I'm starting to think you should have let me rot on that street.

"Veeevaa!"

That cry snapped me back into my senses.

The world around me seemed to recollect sound and my eyes slowly opened, vision taking a while to adjust to the dark. In the distance, somewhere nearby, I could hear Ansem barking. Brock was screaming- calling out to me and trying to locate where I was. The guilt hit full force as I thought about the family that was waiting for him. They had told me to protect him, to keep him safe, and here he is falling to his death because of me.

There's… no way I can just let him die, can I?

Not like this.

Basil, Belladonna… they were all so innocent. Like the kind strangers I've met, they've only done things to help me. The pōkemon chose me as their trainer.

Did that… Did that condemn them to this fate? Because they outstretched their hands to me?

I don't… want that. I don't want them to suffer because of me.

Too much blood has already been spilled.

I can't help people; I'm only ever good at endangering them. My only real accomplishment was staying alive- so, that means… I just have to figure out a way to extend that to those I surrounded myself with. The determination to reach my goal, the willingness to do whatever it took to reach the finish line. The reluctance of falling back into the arms of those who would hurt me, to accept those who would gather me.

Obligation, obedience. Fear, guilt. Cowardice, courage.

Hate… and love.

My eyes squeezed tightly shut, burning with tears as so many emotions welled up inside me, mixing together and creation a concoction that was far from healthy. As they bubbled up, some strange sensation rising in the back of my throat, I opened my mouth and out came a cry- a scream full of rage and frustration, aggravating my still-not-quite-healed vocal chords. A howl echoed out afterwards, coming from the ever loyal Ansem, the pōkemon reacting quite intensely to my overflowing emotions. My arms shot out and I reached blindly in the direction I heard them, body coiling around a large and soft body, fur tickling my face.

It was so dark I couldn't see anything and it hurt so much to keep my eyes open, but I have to get us through this! I have to survive, so they can survive! It's the only thing my foolish self is good at!

I had no idea how much longer we had before we splat against the ground, as we had been falling for quite a while, and as a result of this knowledge adrenaline started to pump through my veins, causing my heart to race as I hiccuped and choked, mind reeling with ideas and solutions to the problem we found ourselves in. That goon said we were heading into an underground maze, which meant it could very well be a Team Rocket hideout they've created. Our pōkemon, our supplies- he said they would be theirs.

This trap was most likely designed to capture those who refused their offer to join the organization, made with the intention of stealing their money and pōkemon.

That meant that there had to be some sort of safety mechanism at the bottom- or maybe they expected us to call the pōkemon back into their pōkeballs to save them, leaving us humans to splatter into goop at the bottom. Regardless the reason, the design, or their plans, we couldn't risk just falling forever until we became sludge on the ground. We had to take precautions. And, as someone who grown up learning how to plot and scheme by the very criminals that were entrapping us, they were greatly underestimating me.

No… they were underestimating us.

I'm not alone anymore. Brock, the pōkemon… we're all here working together. Journeying together. We're friends.

And Brock just so happened to be a retired gym leader, who owned a pōkemon that was so large that he could easily stop our fall if he so wished.

If memory served correctly, and I'm praying it did because I'm panicking so badly right now that it was rather hard to think straight, Onix was a pōkemon who liked to burrow in underground places. He could even evolve naturally into some kind of steel-type pōkemon once deep enough, becoming embedded with either crystals or diamonds, or maybe both.

It might hurt a bit, but… we could use him to our advantage here. Feeling Ansem nuzzle his face into the curve of my bandaged neck, I called out as loudly as I could, ignoring the sensation of what felt like glass piercing the inside of my throat. "Brooooock!"

"Grunt!?" The boy was alarmed. It sounded like he was coming somewhere from my… left… yet higher up. He jumped in after me, so it makes sense that I'm farther down than him. "Grunt, where are you!?"

"O-Over here!"

Ansem started to bark, sensing my pain as I started to cough. Frick- I seriously needed a drink now. It felt like needles were stabbing my neck from the inside. It was almost as if the pōkemon was trying to alert the others to our presence, so that I wouldn't have to.

Still, if we couldn't reach each other… the plan might not work. "Can you hear me!? G-Grab my hand!"

"Where!?"

I reached out above me, following the sound of his voice, trying to grasp some part of him.

Something brushed my fingers and, before I even had a chance to latch on, his hand grabbed onto my wrist and suddenly I was being pulling forward. I barely had time to let out a yelp before his arms were around my back, holding me and Ansem to him, the boy cradling the back of my head as if to shield my skull from anymore injury. I wasn't quite sure when it happened, how it happened, but sometime during the past few days his touches were starting to become less anxiety inducing and more comforting.

"I've got you!"

I didn't flinch away as much in the hospital when he was braiding my hair back then, either, so I could only assume it was because of something during my wretched stay there. Something that was actually making me reach out for touch. Keeping one hand on his shoulder and the other wrapped around Ansem so not to drop him, I was about to suggest my idea when Brock yelled again.

"W-We need to do something quick!"

"I-I know, just- where's Onix!?"

"Onix? Oh, of course!" Keeping an arm around my waist, Ansem wailing as his claws dug deep into my shoulder, Basil clinging to Brock's backpack while Belladonna cried from somewhere nearby, Brock reached out to his belt. Snatching a pōkeball and enlargening it, he held it up into the air and yelled, "Onix, come out! I choose you!"

Chapter 12 Bit: 

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, bringing the dawn stone up and resting my knuckles against my lips. My voice was muffled, but I didn't care. Everything just hurt so much, yet somehow not enough all the same. The cold, the numbness- it was all there. Amplified. Suffocating. Choking. I could barely think.

"H-he gave… he gave me the stone… t-to remind me. To remind him in case he… he forgot about me."

"...I see." Brock gave my shoulder a light squeeze, seeing how hard I was trying not to break down. "I'm glad he found you, then."

Yeah. But…

"I-I don't remember." Brock's eyebrows shot up, alarmed when he heard the sudden crack in my voice. I looked up at him, bottom lip quivering as a fresh wave of tears welled up. "I-I don't remember him, Brock. H-His face, his name, I- I can't… I can't r-recall…"

I can't recall anything.

Before he could say something to that and before I could say anything else, the woman suddenly spoke up- near flinching back when Ansem snarled at her. "W-We're here! T-Take this staircase and go through the teleporter, and you'll find the control room. See? I-I'll… I'll show you!"

Inhaling sharply, trying to distance myself from my emotions long enough to get through whatever the next encounter was, I pulled away from Brock and picked up the pace, moving my short legs as fast as they would go. I waited until the woman was through the teleporter to go myself, Ansem still being carried and stone back in my pocket, and Belladonna and Basil followed suit. Then it was Brock, then Machamp and Blue, and gradually the rest of the pōkemon…

But we weren't the only group here in the room. Without a word Machamp lowered Blue to the ground, leaving me to struggle in holding him up alone until Brock came over and grabbed the teen by the shoulders. Then the large muscular pōkemon stepped forward, standing in front of us three with Ansem and Umbreon on either side of him. Basil and Belladonna released the woman we were holding captive and she stumbled forward, rushing to the group of Team Rocket goons and… their pōkemon.

They were expecting us.

I mean, I can only imagine how much word got around about us kids when Brock was tending to Blue back in the lab- the people Belladonna knocked out must have woken up and alerted the higher-ups. These people, the adults, were more than ready to fight.

Or, rather, more than ready to have innocent pōkemon do the fighting for them.

The woman we had released whirled around with a gasp, striking the pose every goon had been forced to memorize. It took everything I had not to cringe at the sight of it, instead focusing on making sure I didn't topple over from Blue's body weight. "To infect the world with devastation, to blight all people in every nation! To denounce the goodness of truth and love, to extend our wrath to the stars above! We are Team Rocket circling the earth day and night, and you are just a bunch of brats in our way! C'mon, everyone- group attack!"

Oh no. Okay. Here we go.

A Tauros lowed and stomped a hoof against the floor, a Meowth residing atop its back. Two Zubats flew around them, flapping their wings as they stared at us nervously. Brock scowled, clicking his tongue and using one hand to reach to his belt. "Of course there are several here… Geodude, go! Help out the others!"

"M-Machamp…!" Blue began, voice hoarse from coughing. "Get them!"

"Ansem-!" I was unable to finish. Machamp was suddenly storming forward, locked onto its targets, swinging with all four fists at the Tauros when it charged. I cringed and ducked my head down upon hearing the bull-pōkemon's cries of pain, knowing full well it was fighting against its will. I hated this violence so much. "Belladonna, Basil…"

"Bulba!"

"Weeeepin!"

Vines erupted from their bodies and swung towards their foes, catching the Zubats before they could unleash a devasting flying-attack upon them. Meowth leapt up from the defeated Tauros' back, landing atop Machamp's head and using it to boost itself up again, and slashed at the vines. Basil cried out and loosened his hold, allowing a Zubat to escape, and the pōkemon hurriedly let loose several blades of wind.

Aerial Ace.

Belladonna was sent flying, several cuts lining her body as she crashed into the wall, vines retreated back into her body. Basil let out a concerned shout, but barely had time to recover himself when the second Zubat slammed itself right into him, head ramming into his side. No…

"Stand up!" My voice was panicked. Blue looked down at me in surprise as Brock ordered his Geodude to defend Belladonna as Meowth approached her. He never heard me sound so desperate and scared before. "Stand up now!"

Don't do this.

Don't you dare die.

"Basil!"

We haven't lost a single battle, so there was no way it could happen now. I won't let it.

Bulbasaur struggled to push himself up onto his feet, red eyes watering from the pain. Cuts now lined his legs from Zubat using Aerial Ace on him after the headbutt, but his expression was a determined one.

Ansem, seeing the way his companions were harmed, let out an angered roar, deciding to leave Meowth and Belladonna's Zubat alone for now, Geodude taking care of it with Machamp's help, and targeted Basil's Zubat instead. Stretching out his claws, Ansem jumped into the air as high as his legs would let him, and he caught his front paws on the pōkemon's wings, knocking it greatly off balance.

"Vaaaa!"

As they fell to the ground Ansem rolled over, biting down hard into its wings and tearing them. He was furious. The woman from before- the one we had guide us here- was glaring daggers at us, shaking with her fists held to her side in a rage. The other Team Rocket goons were both startled and very much angry, unable to believe they were now losing the battle. Worse of all, it was to a bunch of kids and their pōkemon.

Feeling Blue's weight increase I shifted in place, standing on my toes in an attempt to straighten my back and keep Blue from leaning over too much. Unfortunately, that was quite difficult as I was the smallest human in existence and these two were hecking towers in comparison. I could feel the heat coming off of Blue's face due to his fever- his heart pounding desperately in his chest in an attempt to keep him breathing. It was very unnerving.

"W-Weezings!" I glanced behind me as best as I could, trying to get a look at the other pōkemon, but auburn hair was in the way. "C-Can you help? Please?"

"Weeez?" They looked at me, surprised. "Weezing?"

The many Weezings looked at each other. If memory served right, these pōkemon had a variety of very useful moves- assuming they've already learned them, of course, and Belladonna was a bit too hurt to use her Sleeping Powder special on them.

"Weez…"

"Weez, Weezing!"

"Weez!"

"O-On the Team Rocket members!" I continued, voice cracking a little. Brock stopped issuing orders and looking back at me, alarmed. Then a bright grin spread across his face.

"Grunt, you're a genius!"

That was the wrong thing to say. The higher-up Team Rocket members shared a glance, their faces paling and somehow becoming disbelieving and enraged all at once. "Wait, what?"

"Grunt?"

One of them pointed at me, narrowing his eyes. "You're the escapee from headquarters? You? I knew you were a child, but… how old are you!? Eight?" The gaped, dumbfounded, and I tensed upon hearing their words. I was starting to believe that maybe going by my old title was a bad idea, and that maybe I should just go around titleless and nameless. "The fuck? Holy Arceus- if we bring you back to the boss…"

"We'll be promoted again!" A female Team Rocket member gasped, pressing her hands to her face. The woman from before looked exasperated by their behavior, her main goal being revenge for how we treated her. "And their pōkemon… they might be ours!"

"Who cares about that?" Another exclaimed. "Think of the pay raise!"

"Wow," Blue choked out, trying to joke, "you're famous, huh?"

My expression went blank at that, disliking the attention I was receiving. A flash of purple in the corner of my eyes snapped me back into attention, and I raised my head with wide eyes to see the many Weezings floating forward, Machamp carrying Belladonna and Basil back to us while Ansem removed his fangs from a fainted Zubat.

The Weezings continued forward, not stopping until they were past our pōkemon and residing over the fainted ones, facing the Team Rocket goons with a strange look in their eyes. The poison-type pōkemon looked angry, hurt, scared… and very fierce. "W-Weezings?"

Suddenly, and without warning, they all surged forward- flying over the crowd to the goons and headbutting them as hard as they possibly could. On impact the Weezings let out huge clouds of grey and purple smoke, causing the Team Rocket goons to start coughing as the smoke filled up the area. The many Zubats behind us, the ones we freed, decided they wanted to help out as well- swinging their wings forward and causing air blades to shoot towards them, slicing at the goons and tearing up their uniforms.

I tried not to flinch away this time upon hearing their screams, but it was too much. I just… couldn't not close my eyes. Machamp setting Basil and Belladonna by my feet, he dashed back into the action with Geodude, Ansem following behind. Together they all attacked the goons, knocking them out hard as they collapsed onto the ground. I think I heard a nasty crack from one of them, probably from the one Machamp punched in the ribs, but…

No. You know what? I'm not…

I'm not going to think about it. I cringed and shook my head, eyebrows knitting together as pain temporary flickered onto my expression. I tightened my hold on Blue's arm and waist, shifting once more as I nearly lost balance from standing on my toes for so long. "Um, frick. Okay. Uh- Brock, I-"

"I'm on it."

"Huh?" I blinked, eyes opening and turning to see him walking over there where the adults and pōkemon were, the Weezings' smoke clearing. He still had to hold part of his hood over his mouth so he wouldn't start coughing, since there was quite a bit left, but it was otherwise okay for him to head into it. "What are-"

Oh.

He knelt down, patting the adults down in an attempt to find what I could only assume to be a keycard or remote, or anything that would help us get out of here. He tossed whatever pōkeballs he found onto the ground, leaving Machamp to stomp on the empty ones- while freeing the others that remained inside. Brock also rummaged through their bags, pulling out several super potions and berries, and used those on the fainted and injured pōkemon.

Blue and I slowly waddled our way over there, and upon seeing the pōkemon's confused stares and the way the boys were looking at me… I had to greet the previously abused pōkemon. It was very awkward and uncomfortable, and it was only thanks to the other rescued pōkemon jumping into the conversation that the newly freed ones calmed down. It was mess.

Meowth looked especially lost.

"Meow…?"

A Weezing floated down and spoke to it. Understanding dawned on its face and relieved tears welled up in the pōkemon's eyes.

"Mrrooooooow!"

Haaaah, I need to get out of here. Brock shoved the remainder of the supplies into his own backpack, deciding that Team Rocket didn't need these supplies if they were just going to use them for villainy, and he slid the straps over his shoulders. Standing, he let out a heavy sigh and looked up, smiling softly at Geodude as he floated over. "Hey, buddy. You did great out there!" He raised a hand, petting the pōkemon lightly on the head.

"Geooo!" Geodude beamed, proud of himself. Shortly after, Brock recalled the pōkemon back into its ball. The boy turned, staring at the large array of computers behind him.

"I… think this might be the control panel you were talking about, Grunt."

Yeah. Yeah, he calls me by my title way too often.

He was a stupidly nice person, but every time he called me by that title it always sent whatever Team Rocket goon we were battling into a fury. And while, strategically, it could be a good thing as that meant the opponent would stop thinking clearly and act on impulse… it mostly depended on the person we were dealing with. And while deciding not to go by it anymore would prevent that from happening, chances are Team Rocket will now recognize me no matter what since so many have seen what I look like.

So… what should I do?

I bit down on my lip, thinking deeply as I glanced around at the many screens and buttons. They were all so familiar to me, yet strange all the same. How come? It wasn't from the Hoenn base, though I have seen many adults work with the computers there. I watched as Brock began to fiddle with the buttons, Basil marching up and nuzzling his leg, Belladonna and Ansem sitting at my feet. I've come to the conclusion that Basil really liked Brock, which just goes further to show what a kind person he is.

I'm surprised he didn't choose him as trainer instead.

[jemej3m]

gaming au

headcannons because im lazy but i love this idea

- neil is the same sort of vibe as RTGame, who plays whatever the fuck he wants, screws everything up majorly every time, and loves to roast everyone and everything 

- andrew is callmecarson and his career is literally just fucking with people 

- they’re both mostly streaming on twitch: Neil has no face-cam, whilst andrew does and its just him being completely deadpan and apathetic 

- “person101 has subbed for 3 months!” andrew: looks deadpan into the camera, says “you’re wasting your money”

- kevin and riko used to be fOrtNitE bOiiiis WHERE WE DROPPIN but then kevin didn’t want to play fortnite anymore and riko kicked him out, so he moved in with andrew cuz andrew hates fortnite 

*this was getting too long yikes*

- nicky’s a sims player bless his soul, he loves sims 3 and wont let it go even though it breaks his computer

- dan and matt absolutely obliterate 1st-person shooter games together 

- renee loves story games: life’s strange, detroit: become human, etc 

- allison’s a survival games bitch, loves don’t starve together, hardcore minecraft, but also plays shitty barbie fashion games and nitpicks at the programming 

- i imagine seth as like an angry 12 year old on twitch, that everyone just laughs at for getting aggressive too easy

- aaron plays whatever, mostly riding the mediocre cash inflow for med school and gets popular because of his criticism of surgeon games, but he loves VR (andrew does too) and sometimes he streams instead of andrew until someone notices

- gamers always coordinate into little groups: this bunch have a discord chat together and often collaborate, except andrew, cuz he’s a *lone wolf* (get over urself andrew) 

so how do andrew and neil meet, u wonder? how does neil get initiated into this discord group? where does the nickname foxes come from? where’s wymack in all this? 

- so basically i imagine wymack as a game developer and he’s found this group of gamers who are actually funny and are slowly getting popular, so he reaches out and asks them if they want to try this game out, he’s just getting started with it, what are their opinions?  

- it obviously can’t be everything each of them every dreamed of, but Mission F0X is actually a lit fuckin game with aspects that everyone can enjoy:

- nicky loves making new characters 

- dan and matt fucking ace the shoot outs 

- renee loves the choose-your-destiny aspect, and how you can see the percentage of people who went different routes 

- allison just loves the adorable fox companion 

- seth is pumped for when it’s getting released so he can blow other people up 

- aaron doesn’t care but him and kevin end up finishing all the minigames in two weeks so wymack has to make more because kevin’s getting pissy 

- andrew zones out as soon as anyone mentions fox because he couldn’t care less 

- until 

- this “””””neil josten””””””” streamer plays Mission F0X upon its beta release, and tears into the game. like, brutally. he actually praises it too, but everyone’s distracted by his character, who he’s designed to have eyebrows on his chin and backwards ears and eyes on his forehead because wymack allowed that for some reason, and then he’s able to yeet the fox companion over a cliff but it bounces back, and all this ridiculous, crazy shit

- the foxes (as theyve dubbed themselves) think he’s high-key hilarious. they’re planning to reach out to him, but andrew doesn’t trust a streamer who doesn’t have a face cam, it’s fuckin 2019 bro, wtf

- so he goes onto Neil’s minecraft server, because he has this series, where he goes onto famous streamer’s servers and griefs shit until he gets kicked, because he’s andrew 

except this time, it’s not one of neil’s mods (robin or brian or jack or sheena), it’s neil himself. he’s streaming. they’re both live, looking at each other as a building behind andrew blows up 

- “thats not very nice” 

- “whaddaya gonne do, kick me?” (andrew is like an angsty emo 12 yr old i love him) 

- neil instead says “nah ill let you be a mod”

- everyone’s like ????? he’s griefing your shit, and you’re gonna make him a moderator?

- andrew is also thoroughly confused 

- neil’s popularity, meanwhile, is skyrocketing. everyone wants him to get together with the foxes and play Mission F0X. Wymack has gruffly acknowledged all of the glitches and quirks neil’s criticised and is working to change them. andrew’s a mod on his minecraft server, and sometimes they work together (out of stream) in complete silence (not even on a call, just sometimes private messaging on discord about details or coordinates) as they clean up some shit on neil’s crazy server. they also work super hard on a map room (like RTGame’s server’s crazy fuckin map room holy SHIT goals)

- then all of a sudden andrew announces that he and neil are doing a fuckin mission F0X letsplay together, when he’s openly hated on the foxes’ obsession with Mission F0X, and neil has refused to work with the foxes because he’s scared of his new-found popularity. 

- everyone, once more, is like ????????

- unbeknownst to literally everyone on the planet, they’ve met up. neil explained why he’s avoiding kevin, even if his father’s dead, and he’s technically safe. the moriyamas own his ass and he can’t out himself like that. andrew thinks he’s being ridiculous because he’s never signed a contract and there’s nothing legally binding him to play for riko and moriyama gaming. 

- i just have this scene in my head where andrew has killed neil’s fox companion, carved “u r hot” onto it and chucking it at Neil’s head (who, mind you, is neil’s interpretation of his appearance, but god-knows he’s watered down his hotness because he’s so oblivious and andrew hates him)

- neil just laughs and tells andrew to pick him up at 7. andrew uses half of his health to revive his stupid fox companion, just like neil knew he would.

- andrew’s the only one streaming this episode: they take it in turns. he’s blushing like mad.

- nicky’s yelling THATS GAY and aaron is shaking his head and kevin is still Fuming that neil has refused to work with him but will work (and hook up) with andrew 

- eventually wymack sponsors him to play the prerelease of the Full Game and neil meets up with the rest of the foxes absOLUTELY DEBAUCHED BECAUSE HE HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANDREW AND THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT

- and everyones like. yep. okay. this kid managed to wrangle the monster of online gaming, makes him blush on stream and now walks in with their hands entwined like they’ve been dating for years. Respect. 

aaaaaaaaand yea thats all for now gnight

[ccborrega]

OK Sally headcanons (under the cut because this is gonna be long) :

I keep finding encountered versions on what she’s made of- either just rags or bits of flesh and cloth or different body parts- so I pretty much am making my own: Finkelstein HAD experimented with reanimation of dead parts but found fresh parts to be rather hard to come by, so he decided to experiment on providing life to materials that weren’t meant to be alive. Somewhere along that road, he begun to feel like it’d be nice to have someone to care for him, so he mixed both ideas into the creation of an ‘Ideal partner’ made from materials that weren’t necessarily organic- eventually, this project became Sally. He provided a soft heart made from marshmallow so that she would easily love him and a brain made from sponge so that she’d be a fast learner, filled her limbs with the dead leaves of Halloweentown’s trees to root her to the land (And because it doesn’t seem like Halloweentown inhabitants are familiar with plush?) (And yes, it IS a bit ironic that a lot of the elements of Sally’s built relate to principles of magic rather than science, but it’s part of the idea. Finkelstein isn’t really half as smart as he thinks he is.) 

Sally was, of course, alive by the end of the experiment, but she didn’t seem half as interested in Finkelstein as in everything in the castle- well, that’s good, he figured, she is curious and she’s definitely a fast learner and the sooner she learns how to do things, the better. Downside being- he himself has no idea of how to do most things he built her for. What to do? He figures he can kill two birds with one stone: Introduce her to the townsfolk and have her learn different things from them that can come in handy.

Sally, on her part, isn’t really trying to snuff Finkelstein or anything of the sort, she’s just- new to everything and eager to see all she’s been missing on. So when he tells her he’s gonna have her meet some new people she’s delighted.

They didn’t use to get along that badly at first. Sally was sweet and caring enough and Finkelstein was sort of high on the success of his experiment, so he didn’t use to mind her over-eagerness and restlessness that much. Sally, on her own part, had obvious affection and gratefulness towards him for creating her, and didn’t know enough yet to crave freedom or resent his control over her.

The Halloween Town citizens aren’t really half as surprised by the new inhabitant as they probably should- even though the Mayor was the only one who even KNEW he was making a girl. They gladly agree to show her the ropes.

Witches taught her to cook, which is why she knows how to work with poisons and magic herbs, as well as where to find them.

The vampires taught her to keep a house- that is, the Halloweentown equivalent, which includes a lot less cleaning and a lot more feeding the spiders and keeping the ambient gloom.

She’s a self-taught seamstress. Had to sew herself back together a couple of times on the first days because Finkelstein’s original stitches weren’t that good. Thanks to this, she realized she rather liked sewing.

She also made her own dress. Finkelstein had originally given her something similar to what he gave his ‘Soulmate’ at the end of the film, but she didn’t find it practical enough to move in. The Mayor actually gave her the stripped socks, which are typical Halloweentown wear.

She met Zero before she met Jack while on her way back to the castle from her daily cooking lesson. Zero had to teach her how to play fetch and once she got the hang of it, they played for a while- this was the start of Finkelstein’s reservations about letting her go out because she took longer than usual and he begun to realize she might actually not want to spend all her time cooped up if she saw enough about the outside world. This resulted in their relationship becoming tense because Sally had been curious and restless from the start, but he’d only then begun to have a problem with it, which obviously confused and frustrated her.

This was actually also the first time Jack saw her- no, look. LOOK. Hear me out. Jack saw her from afar when she was playing with Zero- he’d been looking for the doggo but upon finding him having so much fun, decided to let him play a bit longer, keeping a distance as to not interrupt. Sally was the one to stop the game once she realized how late it was, running off. Jack didn’t get to ask her name. 

(I’d like to say it was love at first sight but- really, he just was sort of surprised to see someone he didn’t know around town and playing with his dog. And the fact that Zero was all over her. He did find her pretty, though.)

Enter the events in ‘The Pumpkin King’ and Jack finally gets to learn WHO she is, exactly. This is also Sally’s first time seeing him.

I KNOOOW it’s generally regarded that Sally fell in love with him on first sight after he saved her but I think she may simply have developed a crush at that point.It’s also the first time she realizes there is a difference between types of affection and that what Finkelstein wants her to feel about him is closer to what she feels for Jack.

Sometime later, Dr. Finklestein -oblivious to Sally’s crush because he’d have to be actually paying attention to realize what was going on- asked Jack to allow her into his library for educational purposes.She asks too many questions and he doesn’t have the answers for all of it- not when she’s asking about things that require emotional intelligence rather than scientific knowledge. Jack agrees, of course. During this time, they get to know each other better. Jack is used to blind compliance and continuous praise, but Sally doesn’t provide it because she has no notion that she should; and he realizes he rather likes it. When she does comply and does praise him, he actually feels like he’s earned it. He likes that she’s as restless as he is, and that her curiosity makes him consider things from angles he hadn’t even thought of. He likes talking to her and is comforted by the fact that if he isn’t feeling like it, she doesn’t demand it. On her part, Sally is just now getting a taste of what companionship can feel like when it’s not obsessive and controlling. Jack allows her to roam freely, answers her questions as best as he can and allows her to look into whatever she’s interested in- be it useful for her role at Finkelstein’s or not. She gets to see some sides of him no one else has- because no one else has spent hours sitting on his studio in silence with him working through plan after plan, talking to himself. Seen how his face lights up when he’s come up with something good. Allowed him to slip into a role that’s truer to who he is rather than who the Town needs him to be. By the time Finkelstein decides she’s had ‘Enough education’, they’ve become rather close. Sally’s crush has evolved into love and Jack may be nursing the same kind of feeling for her but he’s too much of a numbskull to realize at first.

Close enough, actually, that Jack ‘Looks the other way’ when he spots her out and about on the street even though Finkelstein’s obviously against it.

(Actually most of the town does this. Did I see Sally? Here? Why, no, Doctor! Are you sure she isn’t in your attic, feeding the spiders? Meanwhile, Sally deadass naruto runs behind them.)

Spiral Hill becomes her favorite hiding spot because Finkelstein can’t really roll in there to look for her. It’s not very wheel-chair friendly.

No one really bats an eyelash to the constant scenes between them because they know deep down the Doctor isn’t all that bad- everyone figures at some point they are going to find a middle ground and all will be well.

((I’m not sure of WHAT they think about the evident fact that the Doctor wants Sally for a wife while she looks upon him as a guardian at most- part of me thinks he never did clarify this to anyone so they innocently assumed he shared the same feelings and was just being an ‘Over-protective parent’ with her.))

Jack does know, though. And as much as it saddens him, the thought that Sally might not want to be with Finkelstein never really crosses his mind. He thinks the only source fo the conflict to be how restrictive he is and that they’ll eventually solve it. This is why the minute he sees the Doctor with his new companion at the end of the film, he immediately looks for Sally in the crowd- he knows this means she’s free.

The Mayor prrrobably knows and prrrobably isn’t chill with it, but keeps putting off that conversation with the Doctor because he’s got so much work to do. What? No, it’s not also because it’s uncomfortable as fuck to talk about. It ends up solving itself without his intervention, though, and he can breathe easy on the matter and go back to obsessing over plans.

Sally is actually not that great at scaring kids. Finkelstein made her pretty by Halloweentown standards, which normally would mean she’d be pretty darn scary, but thanks to her personality she’s only mildly unnerving at most by human standards.

She and Santa are pen pals.

Lock, Shock and Barrel actually like her quite a lot and were a teeny bit sorry to see her at Oogie’s lair with Santa. Consequently, a teeny bit relieved when Jack saved her.

This is stupidly long already, let’s just leave it at that.

[aetherschreiber]

The Cycle of Fandom

I am an early Millennial.  As a 1982 baby, I literally came of age in the year 2000.  A lot of hay has been made about how my generation does things differently from our parents.  And by now, plenty of it has been made about why, as well.  I won’t rehash the talking points, but it comes down to how much things changed in our formative years.  Our parents went from vinyl to 8-tracks.  We went from cassette tapes to CDs to MP3 players to streaming over our phones.  That’s a lot to have to adapt to and as a result adapting is just what we do.

But when it comes to fandom, the human condition really hasn’t changed that much.  People like things and when they like things they obsess, collect, analyze, and sadly they eventually eventually gate-keep.

Now, let me preface all of this by saying that I don’t really have any citations for any of this.  But, as someone who was thoroughly raised in fandom, I also have a tendency to get hooked on things a lot of my generation would scoff at for being old.  I love the original Lost in Space and Man from UNCLE, the very first Mobile Suit Gundam is my favorite, I’m fascinated by the puppetry in Thunderbirds, and I’m a complete sucker for just about anything with Cary Grant.  I will binge-watch classic Doctor Who as much as I will the new stuff and love every moment of each for what it is.

For most Millennials, this isn’t the case, for whatever reason.  It’s neither a good thing nor a bad thing.  It just is.  Most folks in my generation have heavy nostalgia for the 80s at the oldest and just don’t really concern themselves with very much from before that.  It’s not that they don’t have an appreciation, but they don’t have the resulting fangirl crush I have on David McCallum that I will commiserate with my mother about (Illya Kuryakin is an adorable badass and I will die on that hill).

I like to think that this has given me a bit of a unique view on fandom, in general.  I participate in some older fandoms, where things move a bit more slowly and where the average age is usually at least one generation removed from me and therefore a bit wiser in a lot of ways.  They’ve just sort of... already covered this ground, so to speak.

The difference is the pace at which they did it.  But the cycle is the same.

It’s never anything that starts maliciously.  No fan I know of has ever set out to point-blank keep someone else from liking the thing.  Rather it starts with a sense of seniority.  “You like this thing, now, too?  Great!  I was there for the beginning and let me tell you, back then...”  It’s always like a fandom big sibling who wants to show their younger counterpart the ropes; get them proper caught-up and versed in the lore so that they can better participate.

I love fandom when it’s at this stage and it’s the type of fan I strive to be at all times.  I don’t like setting conditions for fandom.  I think it’s partly because I am such a late-comer to so many.  The idea of being a fan of something that was made 30 years or more before you were born is a hell of a thing, but I’ve never let that stop me.  And for the most part, these fandoms that are much older than I am have reached the point where they are welcoming and just sort of stuck in the big sibling stage.  Sure, you have the occasional troll, the guy that scoffs that I can’t understand because I wasn’t there at the very beginning.  But they’re usually slapped to the ground pretty quickly by everyone else.

There is the occasional exception, of course.  But one of the things those such fandoms have in common is that there is still new content being made for it.  Doctor Who is a prime example, as is Star Trek, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings (yes, I do count the upcoming Amazon series and other non-book content as new content, deal with it).  There’s something about new content being made for a fandom that causes an odd anxiety that thing that the fandom loves is going to be somehow ruined.

I’m going to use Doctor Who as an example for a lot of this.  The show turned 56 years old this last November.  56 years!  And the fact that it had a couple of decade-long breaks in there, which were themselves only separated by a single two-hour movie, only serve to highlight the changes it went through.

My second-oldest memory is of Doctor Who.  I remember the regeneration from Tom Baker to Peter Davison.  Now, Whovian historians, before you freak out because that change-over happened in 1981, before I was even born, remember that back then the US got episodes around two and three years later than the BBC, in syndication on public television channels.  So for me, that change happened when I was two.  I remember there being some Big Thing (tm) that my dad was anticipating.  I remember the burgundy and red outfit that Tom Baker was wearing while laying stricken on the ground, surrounded by his companions.  And I remember him suddenly turning into a blond and sitting up, wide-eyed and mystified.  I didn’t understand any of it at the time, of course.  And so I also remember turning to my dad, who was watching with excitement, while the credits were rolling and asking why the man turned into another man.  Oddly, that’s where the memory ends.  I don’t remember the response.  In fact, it’s only having since seen that episode as an adult that I have been able to identify it for what it was.

After that, I don’t have much in the way of Doctor Who related memories until the Paul McGann movie in 1996.  I was 14 and not well-steeped in Whovian lore at the time and I thought it was great.  My dad was more luke-warm to it because it just wasn’t the same as what he grew up with.  It was a sentiment shared by many, unfortunately, which meant that Paul McGann’s wonderful take on the Doctor was relegated purely to audio adventures until the 50th anniversary in 2013.  Sadly, in the early days of the internet, those of us who liked it weren’t quite able to find each other yet.  In the days of Usenet and mailing lists, it was still only the most hardcore fans of a thing who got together to geek out.  Meaning that most of the conversation was “oh, that’s all wrong.”  Lurking in those conversations, I saw pretty much every tremulous young person who dared to say that they liked it get slapped to the ground and told they weren’t a fan of “the real thing.”

Gate-keeping.  It’s nothing new.  And in 1996 Doctor Who fandom ran smack into its pad-locked closed barrier.  Around that same time other old but still active fandoms were starting to manifest the same thing on the internet.  It was when Trekkies suddenly separated into Trekkies (who had seen the original as it aired) and Trekkers (who came long later), for reasons I have never understood.

No, that’s not true.  I understand it.  Us humans tend to get possessive about our stories.  We have a sort of emotional ownership to them, even if not a legal one.  And when you feel an ownership of something, there is an instinct to protect it, keep it pure.  And to do that, it’s natural to try to set oneself up as an authority on the subject.

It took another decade for Doctor Who to come off the shelf again, in 2005.  I was 24 by then, the age that marketers tend to target.  A friend got his hands on a digi-copy of Christopher Eccleston’s first episode, “Rose,” that had been leaked to the internet in its entirety about a week before it actually aired.  We watched it before our D&D group met and I was instantly hooked.  And the friend that was responsible for the new addiction was only too happy to have new fandom friends.

The pendulum had swung.  Gate-keeping was out and welcoming people to the fandom was the MO.  Of course, there were and still are to this day old school Whovians who deny that anything past Sylvester McCoy exists, calling the 1996 movie and the current series a different show entirely.  There will always be those people.  But for the most part, Whovians welcomed new fans with open arms throughout all of Eccleston’s and David Tennant’s runs.

Now, that one cycle, from welcoming to gate-keeping, and back to welcoming, took 42 years.  Most things don’t last anywhere close to that long.  A show might be on for five years or a movie and its sequels be around for ten and after that, for the most part, it’s done.  And in the pre-internet age of fandom, the pendulum swung slowly enough never to hit a repeat in the cycle.

The internet has sped up everything about fandom.  The airing of just about any show in any country might as well be a world-wide premiere these days because it all just travels that quickly.  It has to if it wants to maintain any sort of surprise in its story lines, otherwise internet chatter will spoil it.  These days, things move so fast that even the few hours between an episode of Doctor Who airing in the UK and in the US is enough that one can be subjected to spoilers.  And the swing of the fandom pendulum has sped up accordingly.

For Doctor Who, it started swinging back again when David Tennant left the show and Matt Smith took over.  Tennant’s Doctor had a lot of fans who desperately didn’t want “their Doctor” to leave, many of whom took to the internet, swearing off the show.  They said it would never be as good because David Tennant was just the best Doctor ever.  By then, there were a number of us Millennial Whovians who had dug into the lore and were comfortable with the concept of regeneration as a part of it.  After all, it had already happened nine times.  And there was a bit of a tendency to call those people who swore off Matt Smith’s episodes as being fans not of Doctor Who but of David Tennant.  Meanwhile, of course, old school Whovians were patting us all on the head going “aren’t you cute.  Now you understand why Tom Baker leaving was such a thing.”

And so, the pendulum started to swing back.  You started having people call other people “not really fans of Doctor Who.”  That only got worse when Peter Capaldi took over and there was a significant portion of the fandom upset that the Doctor was now an older guy instead of the 30-something Doctors we had grown accustomed to.

Gate-keeping reared its ugly head for most of Capaldi’s run and, sadly, I think that kept a lot of people from the fandom and from really appreciating the 12th Doctor.  That cycle has started to swing back with Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor, but the gate-keeping is in a stage where it is desperate to hold on to what Doctor Who was when they became fans and therefore is very toxic right now.  It’s not pretty.  But those asshats are starting to be slapped to the ground on social media thanks to a new influx of fans who are now once again more comfortable with the idea of regeneration and its possibilities.

Similar swings are happening with many other fandoms.  The Star Wars fandom is a really ugly place right now, quite frankly.  Star Trek seems to be on the welcoming end.  There are always the exceptions to every generalization, of course.  There will always be “that guy” in fandom.

This swing has always existed.  Millennials are just the first generation for whom it has swung multiple times in the life of the show.  The internet is probably the biggest contributing factor to that.  What that means is that we’re the first generation to really have the chance to see the pattern for what it is.  A few of us have even been able to extrapolate back and understand that, no, this is how it always has been, just slower.

The hopeful part of that is this; by virtue of being the first to recognize the pattern, we are the first ones with the opportunity to learn from that history.  And now we’re starting to see fandoms that actively abhor gate-keeping and just want more people to come in and play.  But those tend to be very young fandoms.

The one that comes to mind for me is Critical Role.  This is a fandom that was wholly born on the internet, as the series is streamed live on Twitch.  It’s really unlike anything that has ever had a fandom this size before.  It’s only been around for four years or so.  But the cast is on its second D&D campaign which means it’s already had the opportunity to have the elitism gate that could be closed.  But something different seems to have happened.  The very moment that people started saying “I’m a real fan because I watched the Vox Machina campaign, not just the Mighty Nein,” they were told to shut the hell up and let people like things.  A foot was stuck into the gate and wrenched it back open before it could close.  And you know what?  The fandom has absolutely exploded in the last two years.  And I have yet to run into a single instance of someone gate-keeping for it that didn’t get an overwhelming and harsh rebuttal from the folks who welcome people to the fandom.

Sadly, the Critical Role fandom is distinct from the Dungeons & Dragons fandom on this point.  But therein lies the difference.  D&D is over 45 years old, ten times and more the age of Critical Role.  And the “satanic panic” over it in the 80s made a lot of D&D players very protective of the hobby, only amplifying that.  The age of your average Critter is only mid-to-late 20s or so.  At 37, I’m a little bit of an outlier, I have found.  The Critter fandom is big on TikTok which I... don’t grock, frankly, because I’m turning into an old fart.  But I’ve never, ever, been made to feel unwelcome because of that difference.  It’s been a refreshing experience, frankly.

In contrast, I really feel like I’m only now starting to be considered a “true Whovian” by the old school Whovians.  It took me 15 years and required me getting hooked on the classic stuff (which I was all too happy to do).  People who have never seen any of the classic stuff and don’t care to are often still looked down upon.  That needs to change.

The Critical Role fandom is still young and all of this may prove to be overly-optimistic in the end.  But I think it has the opportunity to be the first big fandom not to go through the gate-keeping cycle.  I sincerely hope we can hold on to that.  The cast and crew are a big part of that, with how they always hammer on the idea of inclusivity and engage so directly with the fandom.  “Don’t forget to love each other” is Matt Mercer’s sign-off at the end of every episode and serves as a constant reminder.  And if more casts and crews of more fandoms do that sort of engaging in the future, it will help break the cycle of fandom gate-keeping all the more thoroughly.  This is a fact that production companies are starting to awaken to as Millennials, comfortable with social media, age into positions of authority.

So, welcome people in, gate-keep, almost cause the whole thing to collapse, repeat.  That’s the cycle that fandom has engaged in for three generations and more.  But I think we’re on the cusp of breaking that cycle, for the most part.  The idea that you can be a fan of something without knowing absolutely everything about it has been gaining very visible traction in the last five years or so and it is wonderful to see.

Now, please, people.  Don’t prove me wrong.

[sebthesnipe]

‘The Only Virgil’

February Prompts 2/19

Prompt List

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The February Collection on AO3

My Dearest Procyon

Other works by me

Prompt: Waste / Warmth

Ship: Prinxiety and logicality

Original story based on this wonderful post by @underdog-arts

Logan stretched, claws extending from his paws as his back arched, a yawn escaping him. It was nice to finally have a roof over their heads. It had been awhile since either of the witches had slept in a bed as well. He flopped onto his side, soaking up the sun that shone through the window of the tiny room, basking in its warmth. 

They had arrived at the village the day before and found the closest inn to purchase a room. Roman, of course, had a number of things to say in response to discovering that they were all meant to share one room. Eventually Virgil caved and allowed the man to purchase a second, under the guise that it would be improper for a lord to bed with his underlings. In all honesty, the guy was definitely taking the whole ruse a bit too seriously. Still, Virgil was a bit more at ease not having to face the man’s morning routine; which, according to Logan was extensive.

The group had split in two, Logan and Roman in one room, Patton and Virgil in the other. Everyone seemed to have their protests at Virgil’s room assignments but they all came around eventually.

“Do you really plan on lounging about all day?” Virgil grumbled as he pulled on his other boot, shooting the cat a glare. “We have to be moving on soon and supplies need to be gathered. It would be easier if you put in your fair share of work.” 

‘Yes, because  merchants would most certainly love to barter with a feline.’ Logan replied sarcastically, tail flicking lazily back and forth. 

“At least I’m trying to be productive,” Virgil hissed in return. “Meanwhile, you’re just being a waste of space.”

‘Virgil,’ He could practically hear the sigh in the projected voice, “tensions caused by becoming hyper focused on tasks at hand can become unhealthy if you are not careful.’

“Yeah, well, someone has to make sure we’re being careful!” Virgil shot back, moving to pull on his cloak, “Plus, somehow, I got stuck on babysitting duty. Princey thinks he can buy everything in sight and Patton won’t stop his screeching every time we walk by a shop, or a child, or a stray. I am pretty sure he started squealing at a piece of trash yesterday. The man has an unhealthy obsession with anything that could be considered ‘cute'. So, I’m afraid that ‘Tense Virgil’ is ‘The Only Virgil’ you’re getting today.”

Logan gave another stretch, both front and back paws extended before he rolled off the window sill, landing on his feet just beneath it with a resounding plop. He gave one more yawn before striding over to the witch and jumping on the bed next to him. 

‘I apologize that I am unable to assist you in our errands, Virgil. I do hope you understand my reasoning.’ The cat offered, peering up at him with those mismatched eyes. 

Virgil glanced down to meet his gaze, his frown deepening before he pulled up his hood to hide it. He hated when Logan used that soft tone against him; the bastard knew that Virgil was weak against it and took full advantage of that fact. 

“I do,” the witch growled in annoyance, “if anyone saw a raccoon traveling with you guys, they would ask too many questions, and your whole shirtless thing could be an issue too. I understand the reasons, Logan.” Of course, knowing the reasons and liking them were two different things. 

There was a lapse in their conversation as Virgil moved to stand, beginning to pack a bag for the day. 

The witch still wasn’t quite sure what was going on between Logan and Patton, but he was not about to let the tiny man have a chance to work more of the spell he was putting on his friend, whatever it was. As for Patton, Virgil was fairly sure part of the reason he was so keen on bunking with Virgil’s partner was simply because of his feline affliction.  

‘It seems that you had acquired the majority of the supplies we needed during your trip into the market yesterday. Perhaps you could take the opportunity to do something you enjoy today? If you are worried about Roman and Patton, I will remain with them to make sure nothing happens.’ Logan offered, jumping down from the bed and moving to sit next to the door. 

“Something I enjoy?” Virgil scoffed, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “What could I possibly enjoy, surrounded by so many normal people?” 

‘Well,’ Logan offered, knowing full well how much Virgil detested society, ‘I happened to have been gathering some information about the local area during our time apart yesterday and may have a few suggestions.’

“I am all ears,” the man hissed sarcastically, turning to face the feline.

‘There is a musical troupe on the north side of the village that has the townspeople quite enthusiastic,’ Logan offered in return. He still didn't quite understand the expression ‘all ears’, despite Virgil's countless explanations. Nothing could be 'all ears'. It would be unrealistic and useless.

“Which means there will be a crowd. I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

‘There is also a book shop near the noble district.’

That had Virgil hesitating. Logan knew how much the man loved reading. In fact, he had never met anyone that had a similar passion for the written word outside of himself, though their prefered subject matter differed greatly. It had been some time since Virgil had managed to get his hands on a new book. Maybe he could just take a quick look, if he just happened to be in the area. 

‘And while you are there, perhaps you could attain a small text for myself?’

“Ah, I see,” Virgil mused, with a small smile. “So, the truth comes out. You just want me to go because you found a book that you want.” The accusation had Logan’s tail twitching as he lifted a paw to rub against one of his ears, almost as if the cat was nervous.

‘I will admit, I had hoped you would find the opportunity preferable for my own gain, but I would not fault you for refusing.’

“Relax, Logan,” Virgil chuckled. “I’ll swing by and pick up your book. Now come on, I left Patton and Roman to go down for breakfast by themselves, there is no telling how much trouble those two have already gotten into.”

…………………….

The witches found both Patton and the prince at a small table in the corner of the common room. Roman lounged against the wall, head resting against it as he snored softly. It was obvious that the inconsistent sleeping schedule he now found himself on was taking its toll. The red cloak Patton had given the prince was currently draped across the sleeping man’s broad chest like some sort of blanket, most likely the tiny man’s doing as well. 

The smaller man in question sat next to Roman’s sleeping form, the prince’s muscled figure making him look almost childlike in comparison as he toyed with a number of small flowers that littered the table, humming a soft tune. 

It took a moment for Patton to notice Virgil and his furry companion resting on his shoulder. As soon as he did however, he shot them a large broad smile and motioned them over. 

“Well, hey there!” Patton greeted in his usual sunny way as the two witches drew closer, “I was starting to worry you two were going to miss breakfast. The food here is really paw-some.” The wink he provided was certainly an unnecessary attachment to such a torturous pun.

Logan eyed the small man carefully. Despite the fact that he had managed to sleep longer last night than the other three, Patton looked tired. Dark circles rimmed the bottom of his eyes, his cheeks a bit flushed. The sight was certainly cause for concern when considering what the man actually was. Logan did not have much knowledge of dragons, but there had been nothing in the lore that mentioned that they were prone to illness. 

Virgil moved to sink into the chair across from the smaller man, pushing away the empty plate in front of Roman to make a bit of extra room. He glanced at the larger man, pursing his lips in frustration. He just couldn't understand how someone so obnoxious, even in his sleep, could still look so perfect. As if to prove his point, the prince snored loudly to the point that the sound startled himself awake with a jerk. 

"I think I will pass this time, thanks.” Virgil said in response to Patton, “There are a few more things I'd like to do before we leave," Virgil explained as Roman ran a clumsy hand through his curls, blinking away the sleep in his eyes. The witch’s face heated slightly at the sight of Roman's half lidded expression, messy curls framing his face haphazardly.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, kiddo. You really should eat something," Patton countered with worry in his voice. 

"I’ll pick up something on the way. For now, I need you two to stay here with Logan," he instructed. 

"Wait," Roman's groggy voice interrupted, making Virgil finally meet his tired gaze. "You mean, you plan on going out into the village alone?"

 The prince’s words earned a glare from the witch. Why did this man make him feel so flustered? "Yeah, what of it?" Virgil growled. 

"Well, that simply won't do!" Roman replied, his voice booming with the regal tone Virgil was starting to grow accustomed to. "A gentleman such as yourself should not be walking the streets alone! People would get the wrong idea! What if something happened? What if you were attacked or mugged?!"

"I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen” Virgil scoffed. "Besides, even if it did, they would end up getting the short end of the stick," Roman's concern was endearing, but far too over dramatic for the witch's taste. 

"Nevertheless, I shall accompany you!" Roman interjected with a flourish of his hands. 

"No."

'No.’

Virgil tensed as he felt the word brush against his mind at the same time he had spoken. He glanced at the source: the small cat now sitting in the chair next to him.

Logan's tail twitched anxiously as he peered up at the two men. With the way things were going, it would be unwise to allow the prince and his partner to spend anytime alone together. Despite his emotional shortcomings, Logan could see that Virgil was warming up to the prince. The closer the two got, the more likely the vision would come true. He was not going to let that happen. 

Virgil's gaze narrowed in response to Logan's reaction, his frown deepening. Logan had never forbade Virgil from doing anything before, so why now? Why was he so adamant about this? Was it because of Patton? Did he not want to be alone with the pyromancer? 

Virgil's gaze shifted to the smaller man who smiled brightly at him. No, it wasn't that Logan didn't want to be alone with Patton. Patton seemed thrilled by the idea of staying behind, bouncing in his chair with excitement. If Virgil had to guess it was just due to the fact that he got to spend more time with Logan in his cat form.

No, Logan didn't want Virgil and Roman to be alone. Was that the reason for the room assignments? But why? And why was Logan hiding something from him? Secrecy was so unlike the feline. 

"On second thought," Virgil offered, pulling his gaze away from the cat and spotting the pout that had apparently settled on Roman's features. "Why not?"

"Really?!" Roman brightened instantly, the shining look so luminous it should have been illegal.

"Sure, like you said, people would get the wrong idea, and I'm supposed to be one of your servants, right?" Virgil offered. He could feel their other two companions eyes on him, boring holes into his very soul. 

'Virgil… I know what you are doing,' Logan's voice came, 'This is childish. You need a healthy amount of time to yourself. You have said it multiple times, the prince makes you tense. How are you expected to relax?'

Virgil ignored him, pushing to his feet before pointedly meeting both Logan's and Patton's gaze as if in defiance. Logan's scramble to convince Virgil to leave the prince behind only seemed to reinforce his theory. Perhaps taking Roman with him would give the witch an opportunity to see what the other man knew about the situation and why they were being lied to. 

To be continued...

Taglist:

@hiddendreamer67 @nightashes @aequinoctiale @sumersnowlilly

[curewhimsy]

Haruhi Whimsica AU and Emotions

Before I tell you about Yuki’s story, here are some facts about her home planet, Nagatopia.

The planet Nagatopia has an oblong shape, referencing the kanji pronounced “naga”, meaning long.

Nagatopia is in a distant galaxy from Whimsica’s location in space. However, this location is closer to Whimsica than Whimsica is to Earth.

Whimsica and Earth have the same average temperature. However, Nagatopia is colder than both these places by 45 degrees less on average.

Nagatopia is very technologically advanced. The jet engines and rockets make almost no noise. This is why Yuki isn’t used to loud noise.

Contemporary music and dance doesn’t exist on that planet. Music is mathematically and scientifically composed by machines alone. It’s purpose is to aid as a thinking tool. Music is not considered art, and almost no human feelings and composing goes into it. Most Whimsicans consider it to be soulless.

Aside from mathematical designs, there is a lack of art on the planet. Writing and books are considered art, however. 

Nagatopia isn’t explicitly evil the way Monochrome is, but it can be argued that it’s low-key evil.

“Nagatopian” is an umbrella term for any being hailing from Nagatopia. The human-resembling species that Yuki is a part of is actually known as Xoro.

Nagatopia will be under a different name in original (non-fandom) Whimsica stories. The alternate name will be Xoropolis. This is to avoid the reference to a copyrighted franchise.

About Xoros (Humanoid Nagatopians)-

The species of Xoro (plural: Xoros) share no common ancestors with humans, despite resembling them almost identically. Xoros even have the same range of skin tones that humans typically have.

Xoros are ice-blooded organisms. This is different from being cold-blooded. Ice-blooded organisms naturally produce a cool body temperature of 59 degrees Fahrenheit, and need to stay cool.

Anyway...

It turns out that emotions are considered flaws on Nagatopia. When babies are born on the planet, they are given emotion-suppressant drugs in the brain that last their entire lives. This essentially closes the door to their emotions. This also makes it so the affected can never fulfill themselves, as doing so involves opening the heart.

(To fulfill oneself means to triumph over an important obstacle or to have a similar meaningful moment. They then are able to unlock their magical transformation, complete with a special outfit and weapon. A person’s powers can grow more than tenfold in the state when they are transformed.)

The emotion-suppressant drugs administered to Yuki’s brain as a newborn are why she has the demeanor that she has. She, like the rest of those who have received the drugs, still have decision-making skills, desires, and a conscience. They still know right from wrong, but they just can’t feel emotion—the indescribable feelings from deep in the heart. 

When Yuki was nine years old, she read her first Whimsican book. Whimsica had been sending signals and messages to space in hopes to find alien life. When they reached Nagatopia, they figured out how to decipher the Whimsican languages, and were able to teach it to people. Yuki was taught how to read English at a young age.

The Whimsican book stirs something powerful deep within Yuki... She experiences a substantial bout of emotion for the first time. It changes Yuki’s life. The Whimsican book and it’s magical, heartfelt qualities had opened to door to her feelings ever so slightly, From then on, Yuki had been obsessed with that inexplicable sensation that she felt. Her native Xoro language doesn’t even have a name for it.

Emotion.

Yuki reads more of the books and eventually attains the desire to move to Whimsica. Maybe if she went to Whimsica, she could feel that magical sensation even more. Yuki’s parents don’t approve of her going to Whimsica and don’t want to help her get there. So Yuki has to build her spacecraft all by herself.

When Yuki meets friends on Whimsica, her heart begins to open up more and more. Yuki is originally bullied for being quiet and distant, which is because of the emotion-suppressants in her brain.

She begins to feel more and more, but it never feels like enough.

Eventually, Yuki gets so frustrated with not being able to experience full emotions. She wants to rewrite the nearby universe, so that she was born and raised on the planet Whimsica, instead of being Nagatopian. This way, she would’ve never been given the emotion suppressants. She would just be a normal human girl who can feel emotions.

Yuki hijacks Haruhi’s godlike powers and reloads the nearby universe. In this universe, Yuki is a shy and emotional bookworm. This is who Yuki truly is deep inside of her heart. This is how Yuki would’ve turned out if she was never given the emotion suppressants. The procedure of altering the universe takes a lot out of Yuki, and she had been quietly planning it for a while.

When the new universe is finished being built, Yuki will forget about her old life in the old world. Yuki will have been reborn. She’s willing to sacrifice all her memories, including the fact that she remade the world, for a better life.

In this new universe, Haruhi never came to Whimsica (she’s still back on Earth) due to a butterfly effect. Kyon is the only one who remembers the old universe. Yuki made it this way so that Kyon could ultimately bring back the old world if he wanted to. Yuki trusted Kyon enough to let him to be the one to make the decision.

Kyon brings back the old world, and Yuki’s memories are restored. He believes that Yuki didn’t have to make a new world, and promises to fix the old one.

Kyon comes to Yuki’s apartment to visit and comfort her. He finds that she’s on the roof. Yuki breaks down in tears, in front of Kyon alone. This is the first time Kyon had ever seen Yuki cry.

“I’m sorry.” Yuki says. “I just didn’t know what to do.”

Kyon wipes Yuki’s tears, and tells some words she’ll never forget.

“You have such a wonderful heart, Yuki. You already have one of the purest hearts I know. I’m so sorry you have to feel this way, so don’t apologize. I know I wouldn’t like it if I couldn’t laugh, or feel joy when I wanted to. But I promise I’ll do all I possibly can to help you. It’s promise. And not just me, but Haruhi, and all your other friends will help too. You’re our precious companion. I want you to know how wonderful you truly are.”

It starts snowing. It’s so cold outside, that even Yuki feels chilly. Kyon wraps his warm jacket around her, and they spend a few moments watching the snowy night together.

A few days later, Haruhi gets one of her trademark ideas. Only this time, it’s a meaningful and courageous idea. She suggests that and the rest of the Brigade should infiltrate Nagatopia and demand them to stop producing the emotion-suppressant drugs by persuading them with how beautiful emotions can be. This way, nobody else will have suffer like Yuki. Meanwhile, the group will help open the hearts of the Nagatopians who already emotion-suppressed.

Everyone goes to Nagatopia undercover. The trip takes three days, using magic space fuel that the Queen of Whimsica let them use. On Nagatopia, they have to fit in with the rest of the planet’s inhabitants to hide they’re from Whimsica.

The friends have to act monotone and emotionless to pass as people who are native to the planet.

They’re in disguise wearing dull, modest clothes. They want to infiltrate into the radio station, pretending they have a job there. Then, they’ll put on some music that has emotions in it and blast it on all the stations so everyone around the planet can hear it.

Things are going good so far… but suddenly in the midst of it all, Haruhi randomly bursts out laughing at something incredibly stupid. Everyone gets caught that they’re actually from Whimsica.

But in the end, everything ends up working out. With the persuasion of Yuki and her friends, Nagatopia is open to emotions and the emotion-suppressant drugs stop being manufactured and administered for good.

Throughout Yuki’s life, her heart opens up more and more. Her smiles are incredibly meaningful, and she smiles more and more every year.

[littlehollyleaf]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) 

Then tag ten people

Tagged (ages ago, whoops!) by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself 

(I’m sorry, I got distracted!)

1.Supernatural. Castiel.

Obviously. I may be out of the fandom now, but I’ve never loved a character as much as Cas, and probably never will.

2. Good Omens. Aziraphale.

Thought I’d put both my darling angels at the top :) I suspect that without Zira there to pave the way Castiel may not even have existed, so I love him double - for himself and for Cas as well :p 

While really quite different when it comes to their personalities (just think how Zira would SHUDDER at Cas’ trenchcoat), they share a lot of character traits and tropes (mini-series!Zira anyway, maybe less so in the book, or less obviously anyway), so, no surprise that I should adore them both. I’ve also said before, and I stand by it, that Aziraphale is sort of a combination of my favourite aspects of both Cas and Dean in one, with Cas’ struggle with Heaven/god and trying to be a good angel and finding he loves humanity/earth more, plus Dean’s whole ‘performing Dean’ thing and repression of queer feelings he is scared to admit to (out loud) because he believes they are somehow ‘wrong.’ 

...just to give a little insight into my feelings about these two that was neither needed nor asked for...

4. Hellblazer. NBC Constantine. Legends of Tomorrow. John Constantine. 

Aaaand the other guy I love twice because Cas, and indeed spn in general, kinda owe their existence to him. Though in turn his fabulous live action portrayal by Matt Ryan probably owes its existence to spn and Castiel’s popularity. So... there’s a weird ouroboros situation happening with my favs here that makes my head spin whenever I think about it, but I love it - stories within stories built on stories feeding off stories, which connects to wider themes of story and storytelling being vital and intrinsic to life and stuff.

Anyway, despite his wardrobe, Johnny is NOTHING LIKE CAS. He is, in fact, a lot like Dean. But I like him more. Maybe because he’s British :p He has the whole ‘repressing his feelings’ things, a bit like Zira, but it’s not because he thinks they are wrong, it’s more of a coping mechanism to deal with the constant tragedy/trauma his life/lifestyle/fate causes him to suffer. But whatever the reason, I like my characters facing that struggle :) (actually the British element is probably way more significant to my enjoyment of him than I’ve been fully aware of... that’s probably why I loved Zira so fast as well... obviously they are both a completely different class of British, literally, but the fact they ARE British is INTRINSIC to both their characters, and I guess a little, vaguely patriotic part of me is excited by that... :p)

4. Gotham. Edward Nygma.

Since I’ve started giving explanations - I love Eddie because he’s also got the whole ‘emotionally repressed’ / out of touch with (his) emotions thing going on (as seen in Zira and Cas), but with the addition of various geeky / ‘tech guy’ character traits that I also love.

5. Doctor Who (Classic). Vislor Turlough.

I waxed poetic once about how I liked Gotham’s Edward Nygma because he reminded me a bit of Turlough. That was early on in my Gotham days though and given how Eddie developed I don’t see as many similarities now. Turlough shares some of Eddie’s ‘dark’ traits however - self-centered, often lacking in empathy for others and nonplussed (sometimes even happy) to see them get into trouble or hurt. But ultimately his attempts to be self-serving and cowardly end up thwarted by him developing feelings for specific individuals despite his best efforts, which is what I enjoy about him (and actually that’s a lot like Eddie still, huh... their endgame’s are opposing though ofc - while Eddie goes on to embrace being a villain, Turlough gives up on villainy and even becomes a bit of a hero, now and then). Plus, Turlough is the ONLY Companion (IIRC?) to have joined the Doctor specifically in order to MURDER him and... idk, I just think that’s cool :P

6. Doctor Who (New). Donna Noble.

(I’m trying not to double up on fandoms/shows so I can cover more, but New and Classic Who count as different things, kinda, right...?)

Donna doesn’t really fit any of the character traits I’ve talked about above, though I guess her low self-esteem is something that all my other favs share in various ways (though it’s not such an EXPLICIT aspect of their characters and story arcs as it was for Donna I’d say). What I first loved about her was that after YEARS of New companions (and other randoms) being literally in love with the Doctor, she had a strictly platonic relationship with him. Yeah, I think maybe the show was a bit heavy-handed about it, but even so it came as a huge breath of fresh air and frankly a RELIEF to me. Not that I’m opposed to the Doctor having romantic/sexual  relationships, it was just that... coming from a childhood love of the Classic series where that just... didn’t happen (save a fleeting kiss in the TV Movie - which I actually enjoyed fyi!), it just... idk, was starting to stretch my credulity that EVERYONE seemed to be falling for him maybe? Or at least for me it was growing tiresome. So the fact she didn’t have that element to her character/story was a plus. Then I just adore how loud and brash she is when calling anyone, including the Doctor, out on their shit (I envy her that maybe). Plus I like the way she isn’t... traditional TV pretty, you know? (ie. young and slim, like a lot of other companions).

...or maybe I just like redheads *shrug emoji* 

7. Spartacus. Naevia.

(she has two actresses okay? and they both deserve kudos!)

Truth is I love FUCKING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW. Spartacus is like... my PERFECT SHOW. There isn’t a single moment, a single plotline, a single character that I don’t enjoy. I have never even CONSIDERED looking up or writing fic because the finished product is completely satisfying exactly as it is. God. But I wanted it represented in this list so I had to pick someone!

Considering the time period there couldn’t really BE a ‘geeky, emotionally repressed with low self-esteem’ character :p BUT nearly ALL of the characters have the whole ‘struggle to understand/discover who they are’ thing and the ‘who I am and want to be is counter to who I’ve been told I am / should be’ arc, on account of the main cast being rebelling slaves (though the other characters are equally complex and compelling and I love them too - Lucy Lawless in particular is incredible!). Anyone who’s seen me blog about the show before might have thought I’d pick either Agron or Nasir as my favs, since I do like to squee over their romance. But whenever I think about the show it’s usually Naevia who I remember first, because her character arc/development just BLEW ME AWAY. She went from someone I’d kinda dismissed at first as a typical het love interest to a WARRIOR GODDESS and you SEE all the key moments of that growth, you FEEL it, it makes ALL THE SENSE. And her romance with Crixus, which again I was initially a bit dismissive of as a typical, sudden, weak het romance, grows into, imo, one of the deepest, most developed, most believable love stories in the show. So yeah. Naevia. Amazing.

8. Due South. Ray Vecchio. 

(he’s the guy not the dog - gifs were limited! ...also the dog is actually a wolf, it’s a whole thing... that doesn’t need exploring at this juncture)

Ray was my first TV crush :P He had a bit of a sidekick vibe to him I guess, which I like (lead characters tend not to interest me as much). He wasn’t ‘geeky’ exactly, but he def had the ‘trying to look/act cooler than I am’ thing going on... also an obsessive attachment to his vintage car... meanwhile his partner Benny was the stoic, ‘British, stiff upper lip, keep emotions in check’ one who was always trying to live up to the ideal persona dictated by his people/employers, in this case the Royal Canadian Mounted Police... HUH, so... it’s actually SUPER WEIRD that I ended up loving Cas and Zira over Dean and Crowley when it seems pretty clear suddenly that my first big fictional fav was CLEARLY the Dean-Crowley to Benny’s Cas-Zira......?? Ray was FUNNY in a way Dean and Crowley aren’t though, I think? He def filled a ‘comic relief’ slot on the regular and I liked that a lot (it also made his serious, angsty moments EXTRA serious and angsty, and extra angst is something I always love!)

9. The Librarians. Eve Baird.

Remember this little show? It was... is... sorta ridiculous. Not amazing. Based on some... very cheap, very OBVIOUS Indiana Jones rip-off films, that were also ridiculous and... not... great (the third one is the best, with an awesome performance by Stana Katic aka Kate Beckett as a vampire, but I digress). But... idek, I am EXTREMELY FOND of the series for some reason :p

There are a WHOLE BUNCH of characters that fit my ‘type’ more than Eve tbh... in fact... probably every.single.other.main.cast.member (save perhaps Jenkins?) shares the traits above that typically make a character my fav. But... EVE! I just... think she’s neat! ...maybe it’s BECAUSE all the others are main/lead characters that makes me gravitate towards her? In a cast where ‘geeky, socially awkward, struggles with emotions’ is the norm, Eve being the no-nonsense, socially competent, badass soldier type therefore becomes different and thus more interesting to me? Also, much like with Donna, I appreciate that she’s an older woman who gets to have a full character and plot of her own. There’s also something about her romance with Flynn that... makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jonathan Levinson.

(tumblr gif search failed me so I had to grab from elsewhere...)

Listen. Look. Okay. Buffy is pretty old school these days so, for anyone not in the know, as a character, originally, Jonathan... he wasn’t even a side character, he wasn’t even REOCCURRING, he was barely a background character. For several episodes he didn’t have a name and it wasn’t until several seasons after he became ‘Jonathan’ that he actually got a surname. Danny Strong was just an actor who happened to be occasionally on-hand when the script called for a random to have a line, until eventually that happened often enough for Joss to think ‘hey, you know what, let’s make this guy an actual part of the show...’ 

He got a couple of episodes focused on him in S03 and S04 respectively, but didn’t become a regular until S06 (and wasn’t in S05 AT ALL). Other than that he had a HANDFUL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments here and there, not even full scenes for the most part, usually lasting no longer than the above gif.

I tell you all this so that when I say childhood me (well... somewhere between 12 and 14 years anyway) was OBSESSED with this character in the show, and I mean O B S E S S E D (to the point of spending hours painstakingly making VHS recordings purely of the episodes he was in), you understand how UTTERLY BIZARRE that was. Because this obsession pre-dated S06. Was, in fact, in full swing during the airing of his S04 episode - which was, like, a fucking DREAM COME TRUE for freakily obsessed me fyi, because the whole episode was constructed with him as the LEAD CHARACTER, because he’d performed a spell to make him super awesome. They even changed the title sequence to read ‘Jonathan’ instead of Buffy! And while other fans were no doubt just lol-ing at the random I was bouncing about on my sofa all ‘MY TIME HAS COME!’ and fucking SWOONING over seeing MY CHARACTER suddenly in the spotlight and getting to do crazy fun OOC shit like this -

Then when S06 rolled around and HE WAS A LEGIT REGULAR, omg, I was in HEAVEN! First TV boxset I ever bought that - Buffy S06 :P

So... yeah. A bit of a fav. Geeky. Outcast. Slowly grows more morally grey, what with that spell I mentioned and also the fact he was teamed with the ANTAGONISTS in S06. I guess you could say he was the beginning of a lot of my fav fictional character traits/tropes (though looking back - I think his ‘villainous’ teammates in S06, Andrew and Warren, are more my ‘type’ these days, and I did end up loving Andrew especially a whole damn lot, but at the time I’d been a Jonathan fangirl for so.fucking.long. there was just no chance anyone else in the show was ever gonna come close to my heart!)

THE END.

Sorry not sorry for the tmi. I got a bit too into this one.

Actually sorry I have so few women on the list :( Internalised misogyny/sexism is a real thing and I spent a lot of my life being... somewhat unfairly dismissive of female characters or at least prioritising male ones over them. I’m working on it.

Ten people is SO.MANY. to tag. But I might as well do this right this time, since I’ve come so far. But if you’d rather not play, no worries! <3

@enchantersnight @momecat @bold-sartorial-statement @vampirebillionaire @edwardnashtons @miss-olivia-cellophane @knightinpinkunderwear @supes9 @leaper182 @hamburgergod

Honourable mentions (because I CAN):

Gotham. Lucius Fox.

Gotham. Fish Mooney.

Gotham. Tabitha Galavan.

Doctor Who. The Doctor.

Doctor Who. The Master/Missy.

Supernatural. Hannah.

Supernatural. Naomi.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Andrew Wells.

[kibbles-bits]

Please, can you tell us what happens after Zamasu leaves Mai and his/her comrade ? You inspire me a lot for my own work on DB

ye i have like a whole thing lmao

here’s part 1

After they leave, Mai finds Trunks as he’s recovering andtells him how there is a person named Zamasu that he healed one of their menbut appears to be working with Black. Because he hasn’t actively participatedin the destruction, Trunks ultimately decides not to go out and be the one tostart the fight with him if he spots him (though he never sees him) since Blackalone is a big enough challenge.

Trunks and Black clash a few more times before Zamasu visitsMai again. She’s surprised since he hadn’t shown himself at all for a while andis also irritated that he’d show his face. Trunks had advised her not to pick afight since if he was allied with Black, then he must have great power as well.She asks what Zamasu wants and he tells her that she’s the only human he expectsto be out while their two companions battle. The only reason he was looking forher specifically was because he didn’t know what happened to the mortal hehealed and with their uniforms, they all looked very similar. She tells him theman ended up getting killed by Black during one of their attempts to fightback.

Zamasu isn’t surprised but is disappointed that his littleexperiment gave such predictable results. He voices this out loud and Mai is pissedthat he hadn’t actually cared about the man’s life and calls him twisted.Zamasu explains that he isn’t the twisted one. That mortal was fated to die andZamasu had given him a second chance. It was the mortal that had wasted it bydoing the exact same thing that would have killed him the first time. Maicounters that there wasn’t anything else he could do since Black was determinedto kill them. She takes the chance to ask him why Black was out to destroythem all.

Always down to monologue about anything, Zamasu goes onabout their mission as Gods. Mortals are unworthy and incapable of change andmust be put out of their misery, yadda yadda. Mai is horrified that it is godswho are wreaking such destruction, beings that the earthlings had actuallyprayed to for mercy. Zamasu stresses again, the killing is an act ofmercy. He is a god and what he states is a fact of the universe. Mai points outthe hypocrisy of killing to stop mortals from sinning and Zamasu gets irritatedand leaves (still unwilling to kill a mortal himself).

When Zamasu goes back to Black he insists they just hurry upand get earth over with already but Black says no. He wants to continue usingTrunks to get stronger. It’s clear it’s a new obsession for him and Zamasu guessesits because of the mortal body he is in. Black says that is a part of it, buthe really did need to get stronger if they wanted to kill the mortals who mighthave managed to be as strong as a god (there were some very interesting mortalsin Universe 11). Zamasu asks why not just kill everyone except Trunks? Blacktells him that then there would be nothing left for Trunks to fight for. Zamasureluctantly accepts the answer.

Except its really boring now. All Black talks aboutis fighting and getting stronger and with the destruction in the area, it wasmore difficult to find nature to observe and pass the time. He hadn’t mastered kaisight without the use of a crystal ball and since he didn’t have one on hand hecouldn’t observe anything else in the cosmos to keep himself entertained.

He tracks down Mai again, to her annoyance, andtalks to her to entertain himself and explain all the reasons she is wrongabout their judgement of mortals. Mai, meanwhile, gets a better feel of hischaracter and his limits with each visit. Zamasu would say he and Black were aduo so maybe if she could somehow change one’s mind, it would stop the actionsof the other. She learns that Zamasu is pretentious, narcissistic,self-centered and single-minded. Pretty similar to a lot of humans she’s met ifshe’s honest, but she’s able to work with it and manage a conversation that isn’tcompletely one-sided. Really the most annoying thing during conversations ishis insistence in calling her ‘mortal’ instead of her name. (though she later findsout its because at first she never told him her name and then because hegot used to calling her that and all humans looked the same to him anyway so-)

She also learns that he’s bored and for some reason, maybe,lonely?  Which is odd to her cause if he andBlack were gods, then shouldn’t they be used to not having a lot of company? It’sweird to her until Zamasu lets slip the name ‘Gowasu’ when he mentionssomething once said to him. When she asks, he tells her that there were once severalgods, but they were all gone now and he seems reluctant to talk about it (eventhough he loves to hear himself talk). Mai is interested for two reasons.One, if the gods were killed, then there is a way to kill Black. Two, the topicwas the only one that she had ever seen Zamasu uncomfortable with and lose his composurein a way that made him seem vulnerable for a moment.

The vulnerability inspires her to be more engaging with himand he soaks up the attention like a sponge. If she showed any sign of ignoringhim after he’s been particularly rude about mortals, he’d silently pester herwith his presence until either she gave in and talked to him or he approached asubject that didn’t demean mortals. Though he still insisted they would alwaysend up choosing the path of evil, he would listen to her counter arguments.

(Trunks, meanwhile, is aware of these meetings. As long asMai is careful, he’s grateful she’s trying to help in a way that keeps her safefrom Black.)

Eventually Zamasu talks about the structure of the gods. TheSupreme Kai of Creation and the God of Destruction and their roles in theuniverse. With a bit more pressing, Zamasu admits he was a Supreme Kai-in-trainingbefore his mentor, Gowasu, died. (He quickly adds that he was chosen because ofhow amazingly powerful and skilled he was) With this new knowledge, Mai asks ifsince he’s a Supreme Kai of Creation, did that make Black a God of Destruction?Zamasu takes a minute to think about it, then leaves without giving her ananswer.

Zamasu returns to Black who is waiting for him this time. Heexpects an interrogation, but instead Black is excited and tells him he learnedhow to sense ki, finally. With this new ability he will be able to gauge futureopponent’s strength and now he knows he has greatly surpassed Trunks so he hasoutlived his usefulness. He’s just going to have one more fight or two and thendestroy the earthlings for good and then they can move on to another planet.Zamasu is a little disappointed because he had grown to like Mai, but at thesame time is relieved that Black hadn’t fully succumbed to a mortal feelinglike obsession with Trunks and it’ll all be over.

He remembers Mai’s question and asks Black what he thinks ofit. Black scoffs at it. The old ways of the gods were over and Black tellsZamasu that he needed to forget what Gowasu taught him because it’s onlyholding him back. The multiverse only needed one god of justice to rule overtheir perfect paradise and once they fused, it would have it.

Black mentioning Gowasu gets Zamasu a little heated as hebegins to realize he hasn’t had much say in what’s been going on, not even inGowasu’s death. Even when he did say something, he would be ignored. Blackis the one acting in charge. Although Black is a version of himself, he isstill in mortal flesh and now, in his eyes, quite inferior. He didn’t see muchwrong with the way the gods used to run things (a God of Creation and God ofDestruction) but Black did.

Zamasu admits he’s having second thoughts about fusing,which leads to an argument. If they didn’t fuse, then there would be two godsinstead of one, which would go against Black’s plans. Both of them are aware ofthis and both are too egotistical to server the other. After their argument it’sjust cold shoulders. Neither of them know how to approach this. They neverexpected to truly disagree on something as important as this since they’re thesame person. Black still thinks there’s time to salvage their relationship butZamasu has doubts.

[nadziejastar]

NO FEAR: IsaLea is still subtly canon (ill take what I’ll get) and Skuld comes and they become a platonic trio. No Isa/Skuld or Lea/Skuld (writers could try to flip it on us). FEAR: Skuld eats up all the attention in the trio. Isa and Lea’s characterization gets reduced to one dimensional fanboys. Skuld paired up with Isa or Lea. We stick in forced pairing hell and there will be ship wars.

NIGHTMARE: The writers make Skuld and either Isa or Lea get married and have a kid. I don’t think push it THAT far. I dunno if they’ll truly go through with a romantic pairing. But I’m gonna lose hope and interest if they do. 

Sora: Kairi, I’ll keep you safe.

Kairi: Let me keep you safe.

Well, if you ask me, Lea and Isa were already reduced to one-dimensional fanboys in KH3. Lea was more of a one-dimensional fanboy for different characters, though. And in future games, he’ll probably continue to be portrayed that way. I’ve already lost interest. The only hope I have left is the sick humor I’ll get watching all the characters get destroyed. Lea and Kairi’s role in the final battle was supposed to be saving Isa from Xehanort’s control. But since that idea was thrown in the trash, they had no real reason to be there anymore. Thus, they became totally irrelevant to the plot. Roxas conveniently arrived just in time to take Lea’s place, while Xion arrived to take Kairi’s place.

Saïx: You’re the fire that feeds Sora’s anger.

Kairi: No… Sora’s in danger because of me…

Kairi wanted to prove herself during her training. She wanted to keep Sora and the others safe for a change. And she does! She becomes a real hero instead of a damsel-in-distress. Psyche! She actually regresses to be an even MORE useless damsel than ever before! 

Her new friend Axel doesn’t even react when she’s kidnapped. Kairi, who? Who cares about her? Roxas Stu and Xion Sue are here! Time for a big snuggly hug! But wait. Now there’s more Guardians of Light than necessary. Kairi is superfluous. How can we make her important? Well, I guess she can motivate Sora again? A-hyuk! How does her fight with Saïx go? Exactly like it did before she could wield a Keyblade, of course! She is simply the fire to fuel Sora’s anger…again.

Kairi: I’m training to become a Keyblade wielder like you. That’s right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures.

It’s okay. She still has a happy ending! While everyone else celebrates, she gets to imagine Sora is with her while crying to herself. Sure, everyone starts to worry as she’s hallucinating. But it’s okay. Sora will be back. 

Donald: Kairi, you were great!

Kairi: Oh?

Sora: You are different, Kairi, but I’m just glad you’re here!

Kairi: You and Riku never came home, so I came looking for you.

Any minute now. She’ll just wait right here for him to come back.

Lea: Ah, I’ll catch up with ya in no time flat.

Sora: What? You wanna be a Keyblade Master?

Lea: Yeah. I mean, I came here to learn how to wield one.

Lea wanted to prove himself as a Keyblade wielder as well. He put himself at risk using the D.T.D just to find Mickey. All so he could become a wielder and find Isa. He believes that inside people’s memories, he can live forever. He spends the whole game training with Kairi in preparation for the final battle. Yeah…Lea was a pretty cool character. 

Xigbar: Axel!

Lea: Axel? Please. The name’s Lea. Got it memorized?

Xigbar: You’re not supposed to be here!

Xigbar was right. Lea, you aren’t supposed to be here.

Axel: You kidding? Do you know how popular I am? I got loads of people rootin’ for me. Sorry, boss. No one axes Axel. Got it memorized?

That’s better.

Sora & Riku: YOU!?

Lea: Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, I was gonna come swooping in, Keyblade in hand! But I just couldn’t get mine to materialize. Must be in the snap of the wrist or something.

For some reason, Lea stopped caring about Isa, and his sole purpose in life became…Roxas…again. A character who he has…no ability to bring back, actually. Not even with his snazzy new Keyblade. So, what now? How can he still be useful?

Lea: You had your perfect little script, but you kinda forgot to write the sequel. Now, let’s find out what happens!

Few people realize that Lea—excuse me, AXEL— was breaking the fourth wall all the way back in KH3D. He knew exactly what would happen!And instead of braving the darkness, rescuing his friend, and becoming a hero…Axel gets benched. Literally. He gets to watch from the bleacher seats.

Lea: Promises to keep. I’ll always be there to get my friends back. What, bad timing? 

Well, whaddaya know? It turns out that getting his ass handed to him was just the magic spark Roxas Stu needed to magically arrive and save the day. Axel fanboys over Roxas Stu’s sheer awesomeness! Roxas Stu smiles at Axel with a cool expression. Roxas Stu is back, so Axel has served his purpose. He tells Axel that his five minutes are up now. It’s HIS turn.

Xemnas: Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten.

Whoa, Xemnas can break the fourth wall, too? He sure called it ahead of time. But it’s okay. He is more than happy about it. He compliments Roxas Stu and Xion Sue for their amazing prowess with the Keyblade! Those two are old pros, unlike him, after all! A-hyuck!

Saïx: Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.

This picture is a fairly decent representation of KH3′s Isa. He’s on his knees, alone, being looked down on by everyone. Lea is disgusted with him. He’s lost all sense of purpose…in the story, that is. If you think about Isa’s canon story, he and Lea try to rescue a girl that they barely know, and are not sure even exists. They become apprentices just for her, then get turned into Nobodies. They devote their lives to finding information about this girl, and they conspire to make Saïx Xemnas’ right-hand man. Saïx is so obsessed with this random girl, he drifts apart from Axel and becomes…a sociopath. Yep, that’s all folks. You were expecting a tragic backstory? Nope! There’s no intriguing human experiment plot! Just girl drama.

Maleficent: You see? It’s just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, now he values them far more than he does you. You’re better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him and come with me. I’ll help you find what you’re searching for…

Roxas Stu and Xion Sue observe with pity as Axel’s OLD best friend gets put in his place. As his NEW best friends, they are rewarded with brand-new DLC packs…starring them, of course. They were always special after all. The only Keyblade users in Days. But it wasn’t enough for them to simply steal Axel and Kairi’s first and only fight as wielders. Now they need MORE screen time so we can bask in their glory.

Axel: You let them reduce you to this?

Axel does break the fourth wall a lot in KH3. Well, he was actually doing it here, too. He’s not referring to Organization XIII when he asks this—he was talking about Square Enix and Disney. He’s asking Isa how he let himself get turned into such a pathetic character. And the answer is simple: Axel went off and made other friends. More POPULAR friends. So he got left in the dust. From a narrative standpoint, that’s exactly what happened.

Riku: Take care of her.

Somewhere along the way, Saïx became part-Xehanort. The implication in KH3 was that he willingly became a vessel, since he wasn’t being controlled like Terra was, and Lea was disgusted at how he let himself get reduced to his state. So, he basically sacrificed his humanity JUST to find this random girl. Totally believable actions from a complex and multi-dimensional character, right? Then he became obsessed with power…or something? Meanwhile, Axel makes other friends. Saïx gets jealous and becomes a giant asshole, and now he has to redeem himself by getting replicas for Lea’s NEW bestest friends. 

He then quietly fades away in the background, out of shame. It’s an utterly sad and pathetic story, really. One more fitting for a tragic villain than someone on the side of the good guys. I can’t decide which would be worse. Isa and Skuld actually getting together, and rewarding this horrible characterization…or Isa continuing to degrade himself for her while his feelings go unrequited. I remember how much I despised Riku’s character arc in KH1, and how pissed off I was during his ending scene. I was SO grateful that the future games stepped away from shit like this. But now, it’s back, I guess.

Roxas: You’re me, so you can feel what I felt.

Sora: No. Roxas, you’re you. We’re not the same. I wanted to tell you that. That you deserve as much as I do to be your own person.

Personally I doubt that Isa and Skuld will actually become a couple. I think Isa’s fate is to be the same as the Riku Replica. Naminé brainwashed him, and implanted false memories inside of him to make him think he was in love with her. He became obsessed with a phantom girl to the point where he wanted to kill his childhood friend, Sora. He finds out the truth about how their relationship was a fraud and never existed in the first place. Then he dies.

Then comes back! But…he sacrifices his only chance at having his own life. Like Isa, he did it “all for her”. In a narrative sense, he was sacrificed as a pawn in order to bring back Naminé. She needs the replica more (ie. is more popular) than him. And nobody needs him, since the REAL Riku is already around anyways. A faithful replica until the very end. Isa served the same purpose in KH3. His arc was sacrificed in order to concoct an excuse to bring Roxas and Xion back, and also to put the spotlight on Skuld from now on.

Riku Replica: So…it’s over. Hmph. Death doesn’t frighten me. Good riddance to a phony life. My heart was never real. I’m sure even what I’m feeling now is probably all fake.

Riku: What are you feeling?

Riku Replica: What happens when a fake dies—one like me? Where will my heart go? Does it disappear?

Riku: It’ll go somewhere. Maybe to the same place as mine.

Riku Replica: Tsk. A faithful replica until the very end. That’s…okay.

Riku Replica had a MUCH more dignified death in CoM. He rejected the fake memories he had. He resented the fact that he was a fake replica. He didn’t have to go to the Dark Realm or the afterlife. He was always a part of Riku. So ultimately, he went back to him. They had the same heart—they were the same person. I thought that was a fitting end, and his final words were quite compelling actually. KH3 plays up the fact that replicas are totally unique individuals, yet treats Riku Replica as being even more disposable than before. But it’s okay. He’s happy about it. A-hyuk!

[lenfaz]

Sea Squad, ch. 6 (6/14)

Summary: Killian Jones has always managed tough spots in his con life… but never like this one. His brother is out of jail and convinced the only way to win his name back is to heist the casino of a major Vegas mogul, leaving Killian to do the planning. He now has to deal with a half-brother desperate to gain a name of his own, an ex-fling that carries her own torch against the casino mogul, his brother losing his mind over his ex-wife,  his former mentor’s depression and the one woman he can’t get out of his mind giving him chase. Ocean’s Eleven AU

Rating: M

Content warnings: semi-explicit sexual content, law-breaking (they are thieves, liars and con men), mild violence (someone will get punched), mention of former relationships (for the main pair) and cheating (but not for the main pair)

Banner (link to banner post) and art by the amazing @clockadile Go check her art tag for the fic here!

This fic would never exist without the wonderful @sambethe who convinced me to do over hot chocolate on one cold Chicago afternoon and virtually held my hand and betaed this fic for months. thank you SO much for everything you do.

A/N: A long time ago there was talk about Hook & his sea friends and a few collective posts shaped the idea of a Sea Squad. This fic is the attempt to bring that creativity to life. Tagging @queen-mabs-revenge   @thesschesthair   and @jvosketches as they were part of that initial thinking back in the day. If a few things sound familiar, it’s because they are based on the movie.

Link to  FFnet & AO3

on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 

Chapter 6

The hours turned long and they’d hit the somewhat duller stages of planning. The initial excitement for the heist had given way to long hours of detailing, building the vault replica, and going over the execution. It required a level of focus and concentration that brought out frayed nerves in everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Nemo had always been good at keeping his composure, and Poseidon had a knack for coming in and out of the character he was playing without wearing himself out. But the rest of them were starting to show signs of distress.

Ariel and Eric bantered constantly, but their rapport had taken on a sniping quality, even about the most petty items, right down to their Netflix queue. The uptick in Smee’s fidgeting with his cap, as well as his obsessive need to re-review the footage of the casinos and note every single detail, was leaving an ache in Killian’s jaw from all the clenching.

LJ, meanwhile, was giving Killian and Liam the silent treatment, as he kept his headphones glued to his ears and his nose buried in a seemingly endless stream of books.

Milah had taken to disappearing for hours at a time, keeping whatever - or whomever - she was doing under wraps. All of which suited Killian just fine, as the last thing they needed was to alert Gold that she was in town. Besides he knew Milah and trusted her. He knew she could be stealthy when she wanted, so he kept his mouth shut.

Ursula spent most of her time shadowing her co-workers at the casino, and only dropping by to feed them new information and get orders from Liam. The two of them would retreat into a corner, all bent heads and whispered words. They didn’t fool Killian at all. He knew Ursula was updating Liam on all of Belle’s movement and a part of him wanted to call his brother on wasting effort by splitting their focus. But Liam had promised, as did he, so he knew he owed his brother this chance.

As for Henry, Killian knew he still felt like an outsider. Luckily, the kid had thick skin and when he was done bonding with LJ over music and comics, he’d retreat to his own corner, plugging in his headphones and writing in his journal. His quiet edge was one Killian easily recognized as the product of spending too much time on his own in foster and group homes, and he couldn’t help but feel drawn to the kid because of it.  When he was not shadowing LJ, Killian had been working with Henry, going over what he needed to do and rehearsing and timing his performance. The lad was good - more than good - and Killian couldn’t help the pride he felt as time and again Henry delivered on what he was asked to do.

Which was why when he found out that Henry wasn’t an expert on poker - or any card game - Killian took the kid under his wing and vowed to teach him everything he knew. Unlike his celebrity students, Henry was sharp as a knife, picking up on what the game was about and executing bluffs with such mastery that it brought tears to Killian’s eyes. He was getting fairly good at blackjack too. He couldn’t count cards with Liam’s speed, but he was good at making quick decisions in the heat of the game and landing on his feet.

After the first couple of nights, LJ asked to join the game, and Killian got a glimpse at another side of his little brother. When he was at ease - and he seemed most at ease with Smee and Henry - he could be quite charming. His permanent scowl gave way to an easy smile and a dry wit, his hands moving fast as he dealt cards, his eyes not giving away a single thing as he called bets. He proved to be as good as Killian at bluffing, and even better than Liam at reading a table. It was enough to make Killian weep, again, which resulted in LJ throwing his cards at him, calling him a softie.

Clearing his throat, Killian looked at the three of them. “We need a night out.”

“To do what?” Henry asked

“Get some drinks, play some cards, bet some money,” he replied with a wave of his hand.

“So basically the same thing we’re doing right here,” LJ retorted, clearly not impressed with him. Killian, though, knew by now it was a tactic his brother played. If you don’t get your hopes too high, the fall doesn’t hurt that much.

“Not exactly the same… we’re lacking a certain ambiance here.”

Henry gave them a wry grin. “I’m underage… I won’t be allowed anywhere.”

“There is so much you need to learn about this town, lads.” Killian turned around to his most loyal companion. “What do you say, Smee? Should we show these two what the City of Sin has to offer?”

/-/

He had to give it to both of them, Henry and LJ cleaned up well for their night out. Black slacks, button down shirts, nice shoes, the whole nine yards. Which was slightly funny considering that they ended up in one of the seediest joints Vegas had to offer. But the drinks were good, the tables were humming with activity, and no one even thought to card them with Killian by their side. They joined a poker game in one of the private rooms for a few hours before they took onto the blackjack tables. Henry held his own in both while also holding down his liquor. LJ, true to form, simply took everything by storm, including charming the brunette dealer who kept leaning closer to him with each new hand she dealt. When she announced the end of her shift and threw a coy glance at LJ, Killian knew the night was coming to an end.  At least for some of them.

Smee and Henry moved to cash in their winnings, while he and LJ finished their drinks.

“You know you’ve had a tail for the past few hours, don’t you?” LJ said as he placed his glass on the table.

“Aye, I’m aware.” Killian’s fingers moved along the rim of the glass, resisting the urge to look behind him. “She’s been shadowing us all night.”

“You shadow her, she shadows you… is this some kind of kinky foreplay I want to know nothing about?”

Killian laughed. “I wish.” He ran a hand through his hair, forcing himself to focus on the matter at hand. “Will this be a problem for you?”

LJ shrugged. “Nah, I don’t think so. She might be good with faces, but I’m good at being a no one. It’s going to come in handy this time. But I should take off before she makes it any closer. Perhaps seek refuge in a different bed for the time being.” His eyes glinted with mischief.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that’s a sacrifice you’re willing to bear, and I’m sure that lovely croupier would be more than happy to assist you.”

“I’ll get Henry and Smee to leave without coming back here, just in case. I figure you can run interference for us?”

Killian raised his glass at him. “I can do that. It’s me she’s after anyway.”

LJ squeezed his arm. “Killian, be careful, aye?” The concern and fondness in his words made Killian swallow.

“Aye, I will.”

He watched as LJ retreated, playing with the chips on the table and downing his drink. He ordered another as the new dealer showed up. As she set up the table, Killian counted out his heartbeats - one, two, three, four…

On five, Emma sat down beside him, cashing in a hundred dollar bill.

“I’d have thought you’d have privileges for playing in Gold’s casinos, Swan.”

“Fancy places are not my thing. And I could say the same to you. Nemo’s protegee should be able to access better places than this.”

He tilted his head, studying her profile. He wasn’t surprised by the words. It was only natural that she’d set to go after him, looking under every rock for every single piece of information she could gather on him.

There just the two of them on the table and the dealer opened up the bets. He placed a chip on the felt and waited for his cards. “What can I say, this place has its benefits…”

She didn’t pay that much attention to her cards. “What were you doing here tonight?”

Shifting a little, he doubled his bet. “Just passing the time.”

She passed on her bet and Killian winced. She should have doubled with the cards she’d been dealt. “Really? And who were your friends?”

A small smirk came to his lips. “Just some acquaintances I hadn’t had the chance to catch up with in a long time.”

The house went over. He won a good sum. Emma won the bare minimum.

“Funny you should say that, because when I looked into you, I couldn’t find a single associate. Or friend. Or acquaintance.”

Aye. He’d anticipated that, which is why he’d made sure Smee erased all traces of his known associates, along with his family and friends. Only Nemo remained, as it gave him a valid connection to be in the city. If push came to shove, he could claim that he was here to be with his friend.

He examined his cards and shrugged a shoulder. “What can I say, I’m a lone wolf.”

“Bullshit, Killian.” She raised her hand to double her bet and his hand moved of its own accord to stop her.

“The house has too many chances to take this one, let it pass.”

The way she cocked an eyebrow at him stirred something in him, but he reigned it in and slowly removed his hand. Emma stared down at her cards for a long moment before passing on raising her bet. He wouldn’t count that as a sign of anything, that way would only lead to heartache in the end. They continued to play in silence for a few hands, Killian earning a nice pile of chips while Emma fell behind. Resisting the urge to give her more pointers, Killian leaned back and drummed his fingers on the table.

“How's working for Gold?”

The corner of her lips lifted in the hint of a smile. “Please, as if you were interested in my work.”

“You wound me, Swan.”

“Drop the act. I know you’re up to something and I know you’re trying to weasel information out of me. But I’m not the girl that I was. I’m not falling for your charming lies this time.” She gathered her chips, leaving one behind for a tip, and walked away.

He shouldn’t go after her, he knew he shouldn’t. And yet the temptation was stronger than his will. Picking up his own chips and sliding them in his pocket, he flipped one to the dealer and followed Emma out.

He caught up with her almost at the exit and pulled her into a corner of the room. Resisting the urge to give in and press his body to hers, he focused instead on his words.

“You don't want to do this. You don’t want to be spying for Gold, Emma.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, especially since you’re the reason I need to find this type of employment.” While there was bitterness in her words, her eyes also seemed focused to his lips. Killian felt the same pull and he moved closer to her, his fingers itching to trace along the soft skin of her arms. Before he could, Emma shook her head and pressed her hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Your charm no longer works on me, Jones. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…”

“I’m not trying to fool you.” He sighed, resisting the urge to drag her out of here and bring her to the warehouse, to tell her everything. If this was his con alone, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But too much was a stake here, too many of his friends were depending on him. They were already on shaky ground considering Liam’s focus on Belle, Killian couldn't add more complications to the mix.

Still, he couldn’t leave without letting her know the type of man she was dealing with. “I know Gold. He’s dangerous. He doesn’t play fair.”

She snorted, tilting her head to the side as she glared at him. “And you do?”

The barb hurt and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I have a code, believe it or not.”

“I don’t need a code. I need answers,” she whispered and her confession shook them both. Emma’s eyes widened and she tried to move away from him, but Killian grabbed her elbow and pulled her to him.

“What is it that you're after?” His eyes bored into her, studying her face for any hint of what was really going on. “It can be just the job, not really. Gold pays well, but nothing that you cannot make elsewhere.”

“I don't have that many options left with my reputation ruined, remember?”

“Bullshit. You’ve been highly rewarded for your work.” He regretted the words as soon as he said them. He should learn to keep his own damn mouth shut.

“Keeping tabs on me, huh?”

He ignored her question, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only. It was clear that when he walked out of that room on her, there had been more than her job at stake.

“What was it? What did I cost you, Emma?”

Her face was a blank mask, her eyes avoiding his. “Wouldn't you like to know”

He reached out, caressing his thumb along her cheek. He kept his next words quiet, the desperate plea in them clear. “Please, love, tell me… I need to know.”

She gave him one last assessing look before she pulled away. “Goodbye, Killian.”

He took a breath and let her walk away. When she was finally out of his line of sight, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the wall, his heart beating frantically in his chest.

Whatever it was that Emma Swan was looking, whatever it was that made striking a deal with Gold worth it, he was going to find out.

And he was going to do everything he could to deliver it to her.

/-/

After another night spent with rum and restless dreams, Killian stood at the entrance of the warehouse, willing the pounding in his head to pass. He closed his eyes and sank against the exterior wall as he pressed a bottle of cold water against his temple.

The sound of car tires on gravel had him open one eye and face the glaring morning sunlight again. He turned just as a taxi pulled around the curve and LJ got out. His leather jacket was draped over one arm and he carried a cardboard tray with a few paper cups on his free hand. His hair damp and disheveled, shirt wrinkled, and that spring in his step could only mean one thing.

“You look like you had a good time,” Killian said as LJ handed him one of the cups. The welcome scent of steaming coffee filled his senses and Killian discarded the water bottle, taking a long, slow sip of the warm beverage. It tasted burnt and bitter, making him regret all his life choices - especially this one - while he pondered how his brother could even drink this.

LJ left the rest of the tray on a nearby bench and took a sip of his coffee, his wicked smile and glinting eyes a silent answer to Killian’s comment. “You still look to be in one piece…” He twitched one side of his mouth, making a show of checking for wounds. “I thought I was going to get a call in the middle of the night and have to go pick you up at the police station.”

“I would have never dared to interrupt your much needed getting laid-time, little brother. I would have called Smee.” Killian lifted one shoulder as he ventured one more sip of the coffee. Yup, still terrible. “Besides, she doesn’t have anything on me.”

“She has you by the balls, but please, by all means, keep deluding yourself.”

Killian chuckled, tossing the poor excuse for a coffee in the trash bin. “Next time, unless it’s done by a proper barista with freshly ground coffee beans and a espresso machine, bring me tea, LJ.”

“Like you wouldn’t find a fault in any poorly steeped tea too, brother.”

Touché. Killian placed two fingers over his heart, a part of him grateful that LJ had gotten to know that side of him.

“Come on,” LJ called as he picked up the tray and tilted his head towards the front door. “Henry's cocoa is getting cold and the poor lad needs his sugar to function properly.”

He smirked as he passed LJ and opened the door and held it for him. “You two seem to be getting along well.”

LJ shrugged. “He's cool and honestly, I feel a lot more comfortable around him than some of the others. He hasn't been in the business much…”

The meaning behind the words was clear. “So anything related to the Jones name doesn't mean much to him.”

LJ gave him a shy smile. “Yeah, that's a perk.”

Killian placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It's good to make friends, good friends, early in your career. People you can trust.” He looked at him and a wave of sympathy flooded him. He wanted to be that for his brother so desperately, as Liam had been for him. And yet, he understood more than anyone the need to shine for yourself, outside your family name. “You don't have to do everything alone.”

“I know… is that Smee for you?”

“Aye.”

Henry made his way towards them, his eyes almost rolling at the back of his head. “Finally, man.” He reached for the cup that LJ handed to him and took a long sip. His eyes closed, he sighed in contentment. “You even remember the cinnamon”.

Killian cocked an eyebrow, some memory poking at the back of his mind that he couldn’t place. “Cinnamon?”

LJ lifted a shoulder carelessly as he finished his coffee and tossed the cup in a nearby trash bin. “Yeah, the kid has weird taste.”

Henry gave him a challenging look. “Who are you calling weird, you nimble fingered freak?”

LJ gave him a cheesy smile, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Henry. “Careful with the whipped cream there, Henry.  We don't want you to put on weight and miss your acrobatic stunt mark over there. A lot is a stake here, maybe I should switch you to skim milk.”

Henry tossed his finished drink, puffing out his chest in his best in his best impression of a face-off. “Please, that'll never happen.” He opened his arms with an arrogant smile. “I'm too good for this.”

LJ grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and took out a bill. “Prove it, fly boy. I have a twenty that says you can’t make that jump.”

“You’re on.”

/-/

It took less than thirty minutes to set up the recreation of what would happen in the vault in a few days. Henry gave LJ a self-satisfied smile as he climbed into the cash cart.

Everyone gathered around and Killian figured it was as good a time as any to do a run-down of the operation. The rest of them might as well benefit from the bet Henry and LJ had going on.

“Alright, here’s the rundown. On the night of the fight, Poseidon’s package will arrive at the casino at 7:15. From there, LJ needs to work his magic, get the codes we need to access the elevator. At 7:30, Ariel and Eric will work their own magic and get the cart delivered, with Henry inside, into the vault. At that point we’re all in.” He paused and glanced around the room. “All-in. We can’t back up, we can’t screw up, we can’t delay. Once the vault is closed, we have thirty minutes before he suffocates.”

“Gee, you better not fuck it up, guys, or I swear I’ll haunt you from the underworld.” Henry waved as they closed the lid and Ariel and Eric rolled the cart into the vault replica.

From the corner of his eye, Killian watched as Liam entered the warehouse, his hair in the same state of dishevel as LJ’s had been, the same spring in his step. Bloody arse. Liam stood next to him and watched intently as the action unfolded.

“When the power goes down, it means that all entries to the vault and the elevator are on lock down for two minutes. And that is when we strike.”

The lights in the vault dimmed and Henry pushed the false top of the cart open, slowly removing himself from his confines. “It is going to feel like I spent days in there,” he said as he positioned himself on top of the cart.

“Alright, flyboy,” LJ teased, “we’ve left you in the middle of the room, far away from everything. There are sensors on the floor, and you need to get from where you are to the door without activating any of them. What are you going to do, hotshot? I have twenty saying you can’t make it.”

“I have ten saying you can!” Smee called.

“You can do it, Henry! I have faith in you!” Ariel cheered, clapping her hands in excitement.

Liam’s mouth twisted into a grimace, making him look nauseated. “We should all maintain some professionalism in here, this is a serious operation.”

“They are young, Liam.” Killian shrugged, pointing at Henry with a twenty to show his support. “Especially Henry and LJ. Let them live a little.” He turned to face his brother and gave him a once over from head to toe. “Speaking of living a little, did you have a nice night?”

The tips of Liam’s ears turned pink and he shuffled his feet. “It’s not what you think.”

Killian gritted his teeth. “Please Liam, don’t insult my intelligence.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As long as you promise me that you can handle it.”

“I can handle it,” Liam said quickly and Killian really wanted to believe his brother, but he wasn’t sure anymore.

Their conversation in a stale point, they both turned their attention at the scene in front of them. Henry closed his eyes, took a deep breath and positioned himself in a dead squat. From there he leapt, gracefully and hands first, from the cart to a ledge in one of the walls of the vault. Sitting there, he turned around and flipped off LJ. “Drinks on you tonight, loverboy.”

The rest of the crew clapped and boomed, with Nemo congratulating them all on a job well done.

“This is all well and good, but I’m sorry to say that we are fucked.”

Everyone turned to find Milah standing there, hair a mess, her blouse misbuttoned, and mascara running down her cheeks. There was decidedly no spring in her step and her face made it clear that whomever she picked up for the night hadn’t gotten the job done.

As if to confirm Killian’s assumption, she cocked an eyebrow. “And not in a good way.” She walked towards the nearest table, her high-heeled boots clicking against the tile floor and poured herself a drink. Tossing her head back, she finished off the drink in one go and poured herself another.

“Wow, Milah, slow down, it’s not even 10 am,” Killian cautioned, moving slowly towards her. He had a few choice barbs on the tip of his tongue, but though they had parted amicably and they were friendly with one another, there were certain lines a gentleman didn’t cross with someone he’d known in the biblical sense. This was one of those lines. He’d never made a comment on Milah’s hookups and he wasn’t going to start now, unless it meant problems for their operation. Taking one last step in her direction, he took the glass from her hand. “What are you talking about?”

She started to pace, speaking a mile a minute. “These idiots. It’s a universal truth that you can count on electricity companies to be the most inefficient people ever, but no… we had to hit the jackpot of the only capable ones! Who would have thought that they would do a fucking routine inspection and took notice of the fact that you can blow up their grid lines one by one like dominoes?”

There was silence as she continued to move back and forth across the room, until Nemo shot Smee a questioning look. “Do you understand what she’s talking about?”

“Some, it seems that we will be having troubles with the planned power blow up.”

“Exactly right, my friend,” Milah agreed, jabbing her finger at Smee, the open, loose sleeve of her chiffon blouse billowing around her elbow in added emphasis. “They figured out their weakness and now they are fixing it. Like I said, we’re fucked.”

Liam scrunched his face in confusion. “Wait, how do you know all of this?”

She spun and raised an eyebrow at Liam, leaving Killian feeling oddly grateful to not have that level of fury directed at him. “Where exactly do you think I was last night? Or any of the other nights?”

Liam’s cheeks flushed. “I just thought...”

She groaned in frustration. “Oh, for crying out loud! Just because you’re all terrible horn dogs doesn’t mean I am. I’ve been trailing some of the electricity engineers and technical operators. And yes, last night I actually had to sleep with one of them so I could hack into their work orders. Which is how I know about this entire thing.”

Every last person in the room had the grace to look sheepish, but none of them dared to speak up. It was Nemo who finally ventured to break the silence. “Milah, we-”

Milah waved him off. “Yeah, you can all apologize to me later, after we figure out what the hell we’re going to do if we still want to pull this job.”

Eric turned to look at Liam. “What about-”

But Ariel interrupted him, patting his hand and shaking her head. “Not enough time.”

And that was the crux of it. There was not enough time to do a bloody thing. Coming this close to the job, being able to taste it and feel it brush against their fingertips, only to have it ripped away at the very last minute. Killian wanted to smash the entire fake vault, anything to break the sense that it was standing there mocking him.

“Unless it’s a pinch.”

All eyes turned back to Milah, who was now perched over the edge of the table, nursing a third drink.

“A what now?” Henry asked.

Milah took a sip of her drink. “It’s like a heart attack for any broadband electrical circuitry.”

Killian glanced around the room, wondering if that made any bloody sense to anyone else. Given their blank expressions, he was going with nope. Sighing deeply, Milah looked at Smee. “Can you take this one? I’m knackered and I don’t have it in me.”

Smee smiled and cleared his throat. “A pinch is an electromagnetic pulse that can shut down any power source in its vicinity. Bombs do it, but it usually goes unnoticed because of the amount of destruction that usually follows.”

“So this pinch,” Nemo asked, taking charge of the scene in a way he only knew, “could take out the power of Vegas?” Milah nodded. “For how long?”

“About thirty seconds.”

Nemo’s face twisted. “That’ll do.”

“There. Is. Only. One. Little. Tiny. Problem,” Milah punctuated each word by swaying her glass back and forth before swallowing the remainder in one gulp. “There is only one pinch in the world big enough to do this, and it sure as shit ain’t here in Vegas.”

Cold sweat ran down Killian’s neck. “Please tell me it’s in a place that is currently going through a cold wave with snow storms and high winds.”

Milah gave him an apologetic smile. “California.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. “I’m not going.”

“Killian-” Liam started but Killian was not having it.

Pulling Liam to the side, he met his brother’s eyes. “Nope. Take LJ and Henry with you. Those two are going to be better at this than me. I’m going to stay here. Smee and I have to work on the final details of the plan anyway.” He left it unsaid that he was going to have Smee look into Emma’s past and figure out what it was she was looking for. But his brother didn’t need to know that. Not now. They were already working on two fronts, he didn’t need for anyone to know he was adding a third. He could handle this. Besides, it would be good for LJ and Liam to bond a little.

“You sure about LJ? He seems green,” Liam asked, his eyes shifting to where their brother was talking with Nemo and Henry.

If you spent more time talking with him than seducing your ex-wife, maybe you wouldn’t think that. Killian shook his head as he let the thought pass. “Liam, I trust him, and you should too. We brought him here to be part of the family, didn’t we? Then let him take part in it.”

“You’re right.” Liam stepped away and moved to gather Milah, LJ, Henry, Ariel and Eric, readying them to plan their next moves and set them into motion.

With their attention focused elsewhere, Killian knew it was the perfect time to put his own plan into motion. “Smee,” he called over his friend, “I need you to look into something for me.” He pulled his phone and showed Smee a picture of Emma and Gold.

Smee’s face turned pale and before he could say anything, Killian cut him off. “Aye, it’s her and she’s here working for Gold. She’s looking for something and I need to know what that is.”  He tried to hide the desperation in his voice but failed in the end, his voice cracking.

“I’ll look into it,” Smee vowed solemnly and Killian felt a lump form in his throat at his friend’s loyalty.

“Thank you, mate.”

Smee moved towards his data room, ready to work his magic and Killian turned around to assess the room. Liam and LJ were having a conversation and Killian left them, for once, to work their own relationship out. If nothing else came out of this, at least they could all be a family in the end. He spotted Henry at the side of the room, still assessing the vault and doing a slow-motion rehearsal of his moves.

“Henry! Listen, take care of yourself out there.” Killian placed his hand on Henry’s shoulder. “And take care of the others. You’ll be trapped between an obnoxious couple and a family feud, sorry about that. Just keep your head in the game. Someone other than Milah has to.”

Henry chuckled. “I will, Killian, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not a kid.”

Killian’s heart grew two sizes in his chest. “Yes, you are. You can lie to those goody two shoes that had you at the circus, and you can even lie to yourself if you want, but you can’t lie to me, boy.” He gave the lad a reassuring smile. “The reasons for your secrets are your own and I’ll respect that, but you’re a part of us now, just as much as LJ is. We take care of our own.”

From the way Henry swallowed and how his eyes locked with Killian’s for a brief minute, his want to believe read clearly on his face. But as quickly as it came, his face shifted back to neutral, his hard armor sliding back into place. “I’m tougher than I look. I won’t break.” Yet again Killian cursed every single foster parent that had beaten the sense of love and family out of this kid. But, he reminded himself, one thing at the time.

“I know.” He patted Henry’s cheek. “Still, be careful, lad.”

He watched Henry leave and decided he’d had enough emotions for the day. It wasn’t even noon. He needed a drink. He was pouring himself a healthy dose of rum when he heard Milah’s voice call from behind him.

“Killian Jones, the overprotective brother. I thought that was Liam’s role.”

He took a sip of his drink, enjoying the slide of the liquid fire down his throat. “It seems I’ve taken a page from his book.”

He passed the drink to her and she took a sip. “Do I get the “you’re family to me” speech too?”

Killian’s eyes softened, his muscles sore from too many nights with little sleep. “You know you are. You wouldn’t be here with us if we didn’t feel like family to you too.” He reached for her hand. “Take care of them, Milah. Don’t let them do anything foolish.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’ll try. But with two Joneses in the mix, I can’t make any promises.”

[crackinwise]

Can i rant and ask questions about the entire KH3 finale?

--Wut

--Okay, sorry, seriously: Kairi spent all this time training with a keyblade, right? And i remember her being really gung-ho and up for holding her own in KH2. So in this one... she just has to be rescued again over and over? Um. Yay, her?

--And Riku--right--Riku was just as much a friend to her as Sora and obsessed over helping her in KH1. Sora meanwhile spent every game going “RIKU!” in various outbursts of emotion. (Sora being happy to see Kairi yet falling to his knees the moment he sees Riku again will forever be a hilarious meme to me.) Yet Kairi shares a papou fruit with Sora and neither one is like “maybe i should share with Riku who’s like 20ft down the beach rn.” 

--I mean, at the end Sora wants to find Kairi (who i thought was turned to glass and shattered but apparently not?) and Riku just shrugs. Wut wut?

--This has nothing to do with anything but talking about Riku reminds me of Mickey, whose VA for this was somehow fine in Epic Mickey but horribly off pitch here i cringed so much. I miss you, Wayne Allwine.

--Alright, new topic: Lea is really weak. No, sorry, actual topic: Why does he suddenly care so much about Saix? Axel did not give two shits. The whole Org could burn in a fire for all he cared. Lea apparently was friends with him enough to cry over him?? News to us!

--Time Out to say i really just Do Not Care about everyone getting keyblades. Lea sucks at it anyway and his is a godawful design. Everything from the coat to the fire and chakram say “Axel” as if everything before hasn’t told us the Person and the Nobody are different entities. But the only thing different is how lame this person is. I get it, Square, you’re banking on a fan fave and trying to have things both ways. But...

--Wasn’t it also told to us Nobodies can grow their own hearts? That’s how Roxas could get his own body there. Didn’t Axel grow a heart? So... He has to be stuck inside a dollar store version of himself? Ouch.

--Lea was also friends with Ventus? Enough that Saix implied Axel got tattoos so he wouldn’t have to cry over a lost friend (unless that was something else i misunderstood). And it’s implied his “got it memorized” catchphrase (which i am so sick of by now omg he never even said it this much in KH2 and Lea isn’t even HIM) came from thinking his good friends just would leave and forget about him. But Ventus doesn’t get tears? Or a hug? Okay.

--Roxas all of a sudden cares (yay, but also weird, and just as suddenly doesn’t gaf about Namine) and we get a reunion but it’s very....awkward. First of all the add-on convoluted clone-thing Xion is thrown in, but also everyone is crying like the voice actors AND animators know it’s forced and can’t bring themselves to take it seriously, then there’s a poorly animated 3-way-hug that’s more new-football-player-teammates-in-their-first-huddle than anything.

--No one pronounces Vanitas correctly and i want to scream every time. They say “vuhNEEtus” or something and nooooooo stoppppp

--Is it me or are “Empty Vessels” creepy as shit? Stop showing me beige manikins on the floor like a dead body.

--Okay, so wtf was it Larxene, Marluxia and Demyx were supposed to be doing different than the others? That cutscene with the meeting on natural rock structures in a desert? Did they just pad to talk about nothing??

--Off of that: WHY was Vexen talking to Demyx about sabotaging or backstabbing, then the only thing they did was bring a Vessel to Ienzo?! Who tf cared? No one cared! Every single one of Xehanort’s extra pubic hairs could have seen this in front of them and said whatevs.

--(Was i supposed to know who that plushie was in Final World? Ventus did?)

--Did they forget to explain why 1)Sora got a mental cutscene of the words “Do you seek our liege?” when he talked about Roxas in Twilight Town, and 2)Haynor has X’s all over him and a Nobody protected him? Anyone?

--There’s so many KH chars Square either refuses to let go of or makes up for no reason that FF chars will never be seen again. After almost 20yrs of vague hope, that makes me one sad Turk whore. 

--Quick sidetrack to ask why Hiro would make both Baymax’s fighters when he could have made the returned first robot body a healthcare companion for some person in need like Tadashi intended? They’re not Big Hero 7, ya know?

--The Caribbean world for PotC3 was too long, too boring, and every ship handles worse than my dad’s old gigantic 80′s Oldsmobile. (potc only had one movie i can’t hear you lalalala)

--But Ansem already tried to open Kingdom Hearts in 1 and it just revealed a bunch of light (and an actual door). When did that change? Why is it now an actual giant heart emoji that will reset the world like we’re Wolf’s Rain?

--You’re telling me after all these years and all this work, Mark Hamill just shows up to tell Xehanort he’s acting like a dick and he stops? ...Fair.

--Did Yen Sid die in the sea of heartless or...? Cuz if he was the one training Kairi and Lea, that doesn’t surprise me.

--They’re gonna end it like that, huh? Xigbar was really some big bad, backseat time traveler, original mentor to the Keyblade Furries this whole time? Maleficent and Pete’s mission could have been introduced and ended in that one end cutscene instead of wasteful moments throughout the game? This black box contains “hope” but it’s NOT Pandora’s Box? istg if they continue this in another side portable or mobile game with more retcons and redundant additions...

--Secret Ending: GDI game within a game Inception 20 dreams deep full blown art school student wetdream bs

--TIL there will be both free and paid DLC. Because of course there will.

GAMEPLAY:

--”When i get hit i want to be stuck in a 5 second animation or have no option to escape/block the entire time i’m repeatedly pelted,” said no one ever.

--I appreciate the extra content and fight moves/attractions, but omg if i’m not in a fight why do the fighting options not go away? Do you know how many times i went to open a chest or finish a time sensitive mini-game only for the triangle button to make a fuckin carousel or gd Buzz Lightyear arcade ride pop up uselessly instead???? WHY. YOU HAD 14 YEARS TO CODE.

--So many useless cutscenes! Why! Especially right at the end fights when they lure me in, i swing a couple times (yay, gameplay) then immediately into another cutscene! Each fight! FINISH YOUR CUTSCENE IN ONE SHOT THEN LET ME BUTTONMASH YOUR GAME, SQUARE! YOU ALREADY MAKE MOVIES TOO!