#just my extended complaining
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so, i'm currently reading a court of silver flames. which, considering that it's a part of the acotar series, i really should have expected the severe amount of fucking. but. feyre's sexcapades never went on for half as many pages as nesta and cassian's straight-up porn. i feel like half this book is just straight sex in excruciating detail. which, if you're looking for a solidly lengthy porn with plot novel, great! unfortunately, i read these books for the cheesy plots and generally kinda skim the porn parts. which is really kind of annoying in this one, because i really love nesta and cassian. i really like nesta's character development, and cassian is the most fun character in the series (imo). but every time we get some good emotional development, i get absolutely BLINDSIDED with some sudden fucking. oh, conversation with friends? thinking abt rawdogging nesta last night. trouncing through an extremely fucking dangerous prison? thinking abt rawdogging nesta last night. literally about to fucking die? thinking about- you get the gist.
like. i understand that they're horny, ok, ok, whatever. but it gets more than a bit grating when nesta can't keep her mind of cassian's magical fae man meat (and vice versa) for long enough to have a serious conversation -- or just to get through a scene! it's giving me constant emotional whiplash. and as someone who cares Significantly more about the story (this is book five!! there's a decent amount of irons in the fire by now!!) than the position in which nesta is getting railed tonight, it feels annoying and unbalanced and it makes it difficult to take the plot seriously.
like. as cheesy as the first three books are, at least feyre and rhysand had the decency to separate their serious moments from their sarah j maas wing kink fulfillment moments. the serious parts were serious, and the romantic parts were romantic, and the sex scenes were placed in ways that made sense. it Flowed. and a court of silver flames Very Much Does Not. i keep feeling like i'm being jumpscared by random smut that does not match the tone at all, and it's really taking me out of the story.
honestly though, the "lack of a porn/plot balance" thing is just one of my small multitude of grievances. my other annoyances:
1. how gwyn and emerie feel like undeveloped props for nesta's character development. they are, essentially, traumatized girl 1 and traumatized girl 2, and befriending and training with them gives nesta the support she needs to become the Ridiculously Overpowered Girlboss that all sarah j maas characters inevitably become. it's a disservice to gwyn and emerie, imo. like, i understand that they're side characters, but it also feels like their importance to the plot begins and ends with their trauma.
2. feyre. reading about feyre from a non-feyee and non-rhysand point of view really makes her sheer overpoweredness apparent. she is so Magical and Special and Created from the Power of the Other High Lords and No One Else has Ever Had This Power, Her Potential Is Unquestionably Immense etc etc etc whatever whatever whatever. shut the fuck up. she feels like a mary sue -- which, again, i think is a sarah j maas protagonist thing. her only limitations are her own mind, but it was only by finding someone who truly appreciated her power that she could harness it. throws up. she's the crowning jewel of rhys' band of special little strangely overpowered idiots. again, i think this bothers me because it's a balance thing -- the night court is so cool and unique, but there are pretty much no other characters who have equivalent innate skill. only the good guys get cool fancy insanely unique powers. side characters + members of other courts (aside from a few of the high lords) get the dregs.
3. "male" and "female" instead of man and woman. makes me violently cringe. honestly, it's just another sign that this series is basically just abo for people who are into wings + magic powers instead of doggy dicks. they even have the SMELLING AROUSAL thing. like stfu!!!! this is so tmi!!!!! keep it in your pants or in your noses or whatever !!!!!!
4. the target audience has changed halfway through the series. see. first three books? cheesy, but i like the plot. they're melodramatic and magicky and overdone. i enjoy them. this book? it continues the plot, which i am casually invested in at this point, but it kills my immersion with the sudden smut. i think smut should be used like seasoning. take salt, for example. first three acotar books? a sprinkle. most of the fanfic i've read that builds up to a relationship? a few shakes. a court of silver flames? half the goddamn shaker. sodium overload. can taste naught but the salt (hehehe you see what i did there...). but. back to my main point. this is a departure from the previous books, and i am no longer the target audience. i read this book with none of the mildly obsessive zeal with which i read acotar, which i find quite disappointing. perhaps i'd care more sarah j maas spent less time writing immortals banging 20-year-old women and more time giving me a reason to like these characters.
5. and, last but not least, where tf is mor. she has always felt like one of those requires diversity characters to me (she offhandedly drops being bisexual in the third book, i think, and the building tension between her and one of the male characters evaporates with no explanation). and, this is the first real opportunity we get to spend more time with her now that she is suddenly a womanliker. naturally, sarah j maas ships her off to the continent and we don't get neither hide nor hair of her. i had already suspected that the bisexual part had been added in just to check that LGBTQ+ representation box, but this kind of confirms it for me. is it really rep if the token character gets shunted offstage at the first opportunity. and, even more, nesta's story was the perfect for mor, considering that she is one of acotar's token trauma girlies, and that nesta has made it her purpose to collect all trauma girlies she finds.
in short, this book kind of pisses me off, and i really just wanted to put my frustrations with it into writing. i hope the last 25% of it is more streamlined and interesting than the first 75%.
#just my extended complaining#i own so many sarah j maas books and yet i have so many qualms with literally all of them#i do hope nesta's story develops in an interesting direction though#reason i'm so frustrated is because i really really like her as a character#anyway...#a court of silver flames#a court of silver flames spoilers#anti acosf#nesta deserves better
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Thinking of Steve as the kind of person who will watch a horror movie, complaining the whole time about the characters running upstairs to get away or going down in the basement when they hear a noise, why are they being so stupid, etc. and so on
And Eddie will look at him, like: āYes, itās so unrealistic for someone to run headfirst into a potentially dangerous situation, no one would ever do that in real life.ā
And it shuts Steve upā¦for about five minutes, and then he starts grumbling about how some building is a fire trap or something and Eddie just throws up his hands and gives up. And the next time, he kisses Steveāhe misses the movie, sure, but at least it shuts Steve up for longer than five minutes this time.
#steddie#Steve x eddie#Steddie headcanon#and when I say he is I mean itās fun to think of him this way#but Iām in no way saying there is any canon evidence for this#i just think itās fun if his grumpiness extends to movie watching!#especially if he likes really unrealistic action movies or something - that makes it even funnier#i have a very unpopular Steve and movies headcanon too but I should keep that one to myself lmao#anyway I am Steve but I love horror moviesācomplaining is just one of my fave pastimes lol#and I think itās one of Steveās too and Eddie eventually gets that#clearing out my drafts#pizzaqueentxt
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#okay but reading this Belloc essay on Austen really made something click in my mind#and itās because of something he said#which is that women care more about what men think of them generally#(as a general rule. not all the time. etc.)#and men care more about the opinion of the one woman they care about#like women do care (as a first instinct at least) what every man she meets thinks of her#but men are mostly indifferent. until theyāre NOT.#which makes women more vulnerable to a greater number of people#but men are MORE painfully vulnerable to the woman whose opinion they care about#and I donāt actually know that that vulnerability only extends to a woman they are attracted to/feel romantic feelings for#I think if they just think well of you as a person you (a woman) have a lot of power over them#which is sooooo interesting and makes so much sense!!!! and is something Iāve sort of been dancing around with teaching#like. a lot of the boys I teach come to care about what I think about them#which doesnāt mean they all have a crush on me. though that step can be super easy and super small#hence the need for the boundaries of steel etc. but it does mean that they care what I think about them!#and Iāve always felt that instinctively and felt that I had to be so gentle with them because the power to crush them is mine if I so choose#donāt let me overstate it. it doesnāt happen all the time or anything close to it. but the thing about me being a teacher is that#they are forced to know me not just in a surface-level way. simply because I spend so much time with them#and talk to them a lot!#ANYWAY. enough about me but yeah this hit me so hard and of course exceptions exist#and/or endless variations on this exist because people are unique and surprising and also everything is changing all the time#etc. etc. but there is something to this I think! and you know what#itās so interesting because that base-level instinct for women (allowing it to be a thing I mean) can be grown out of#I have trained myself out of/maturity has helped me leave behind that immediate female instinct#of being hurt at the idea that this random waiter (for example) is indifferent towards me. Iāve come to accept it#the instinct is still there!!! because imo women are always scanning and searching and sizing up. and also we are so open to being won over#if that makes sense? which is why insta comments complaining about how only good looking men get away with things like. PLEASE.#there are so many medium-ugly men who get married. itās the average because the average woman is prettier than the average man#(this is not an insult) women CAN be and usually are so open to being surprised. won over. moved by the simple fact that a guy likes them#and men are not like that. but my point is: men donāt grow out of caring if they care. when they care they care sooooooo much. anyways yeah
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sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant
#tbd.#ooc.#cw complaining#ignore the tags if u dont want to see how my life is going shdfhsf#so im doing my masters yeah#and im like. 75% thru#shouldve been done last month#but bc of the year ive had my uni adviser was rlly nice and sorted a way to extend my student status for another year#to get my dissertation done#like i did my 4 essays n now its just dissertation time#n i was supposed to start it now n get booked in with my mentor n stuff but i cant fucking log into the website#bc u need a MFA#and the MFA app my uni uses wont acknowledge me bc i have a different phone bc my phone broke#and a different number bc my phone contract got cut off#so idk what to do lol i cant log in and do anything#ive rang the IT desk for help 59w9er3424234 times#and everytime i get thru to the actual line n im taken off hold .. they hang up on me#idk if its a system error or my phone bc its a shit old one#but i cant do anything#and my universal credit claim got closed#non uk oomfs its a benefits system#n they help u with money to pay bills whether ur looking for work or unfit to work which is what my doctor said i am bc#my mental health and physical health combines to make me a super loser#n he thinks i might try to K word myself if i take too much on at once after eveerything#like i cant even sit and grieve my dad that died not even 6 months ago yet because i have to much shit to fucking do#like i cant afford to liven now#i cant pay my bills. they keep bouncing and coming back worse#i have debt collectors coming @ me#i am stuck in catch 22 man like not even my support workers can help me rn#and im very lucky that i own my own home bc of my car accident when i was 15 lol but everyone is just telling me to sell it
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the absolute lack of awareness and consideration some people have continues to astound me. (personal life rant under the cut)
i live in an apartment complex with a neighbor across the breezeway who regularly plays music so loud i can make out THE WORDS in my own living room
and a downstairs neighbor with a sound system up against the wall so when they watch a movie it vibrates our floors despite us repeatedly going down to ask them to do something about it, be it adjust the bass or move the sound system or just simply turn it down a little (and every time theyāre snippy with us about it)
and people who like to gather at the pool right across from our building and play loud music until past midnight ON WEEKNIGHTS
iām all for people having fun in their homes and enjoying life and music and parties and whatever. but also it takes just a minute to consider that there are other people existing around you and be considerate of them
#tw rant#if youāre one of those people who takes calls on speaker in a public place this extends to you too#nobody wants to hear it#some people have too much main character energy#and itās annoying to constantly be trying to be considerate of if iām making too much noise and not get the same in return#especially if youāre my downstairs neighbor#and we have TALKED TO YOU MULTIPLE TIMES ABOUT IT#YOU KNOW ITS A PROBLEM SO NOW YOURE JUST BEING ASSHOLES#and we donāt wanna be those people always complaining so we never go to the front office about it#plus they always require proof and while you can FEEL the vibrations it doesnāt come across on video well#and we just re-signed our lease#Alexa play i hate it here by Taylor swift#i miss our old building it was so much quieter#but they just HAD to renovate so we HAD to move#ugh#anyways iāll shut up now weāre going out so at least i can hope it will have stopped by the time we get home
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what the fuck was that. i literally looked back through the issue and counted the pages because that story ended so fast i couldnt believe there were actually 22 pages
#re: green arrow. but you probably guessed that because i complain about it every month#i know i should expect it at this point but. oh my god#literally 5 pages dedicated to the Final Battle with the villain of this entire story#and the rest of it was just. there#like some of it was sweet but??? could we not have done anything else#this was going to be the last issue before it got extended. can you imagine if it just ended like this#is there anyone out there thats actually enjoying this book#like. nothings happening. all the interactions are surface level at best.#its not well written. theres not an interesting story. theres no interesting character work.#i cant believe it got extended to an ongoing
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falling terrible victim to shitty phone gamesā¦ this has dangerous effects for my week
#gross rant ramble below do NOT perceive me i want no pity i just want to complain#i am in such dgaf mode#which is not good bc finals are approaching#but iāve got a strong undercurrent of misery and itās overtaking me#dunno if itās post election or seasonal or some third thing depression#but depression is back in full violent swing#and i havenāt been fully healthy in like a month#itās that kind of feeling when you take a really long shower and still feel gross after#i know this bc i just tried to take a self care shower and now i feel sick and miserable and cold but also overwhelmed by product scents#i canāt even look forward to thanksgiving break bc iām going home#which means: mother.#annoying extended family constantly reminding me i wonāt get my top surgery#asking me how i feel abt that#dealing w overbearing grandmothers and their southern obsession with piling food on my plate#itās not a break is what iām getting at#i was so optimistic abt this winter too like i had plans for staying on top of my depression#then stupid trump came and shat all over that#ok rant over my head hurts#back to color sort#off my rocker
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how could it possibly happen twice
#i feel like iām just complaining at a wall. at the end of the day iām a privileged white mostly cis college kid living in a blue state#at least when it happened the first time i wasnāt on social media#iāll call my mother and sheāll be crying and then i get upset because sheās upset. i donāt know. what a rotten place full of rotten people#iāll see my extended family and have to pretend i donāt think theyāre evil. because weāre already falling apart#and everyone will blame the young folks who have correct criticisms of harris and the democratic party as a whole#and weāll have so many empty headed liberal platitudes and four more years of 2017 but so much worse
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days since last : 0
#^_^#piktalk#^_^ ^_^#complaining on main again sorrgy ^_^#:/ really just coming in here to tell me again 'you arent doing enough you will die you arent trying hard enough it Will be your fault'#'do you still struggle with mental health' ^_^ ano.... eto..... blehhhh <- the liarrrrrrr#well iwas going to eat smthn But I Guess I Wont Now ! Yay! ^_^#like ohhhh i get it now. youre disrespecting and minimalizing everything i have and try because of an inability you refuse to understand!#ohhhh thats why i suddenly fill with enough pressure to level an entire country. ok yaaaaay! ^_^#its just coming in and taunting me about everything i hate and everything im afraid of#and instead of offering any help its just 'you shouldve done better. get over it or die.' Okay!!!!! ^_^#[EXTENDED BIT REDACTED FOR CONCERNED ONLOOKERS]#'you dont struggle with wanting to stop living anymore do you' (<- literally what she said) idk man keep talking and ill find out! ^_^#my favorite part was the 'you Can get sick it Isnt cute'
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You guys don't know the full extent of my powers. I can make everyone a lesbian
#got called out by my friends someone was complaining that there were no women in an anime#and my friend was like if you just apply the teddy approach there can be#you can just decide they're women#they were mostly talking about asahi but my powers extend so far
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Iām so tired.
#how do people make friends as adults#like Iāve been at uni 3 years#Iāve joined clubs#gone to events with people#cooked dinners and had takeaways sat in the living room#and yet somehow always seem to be an after thought#Iām literally a week away from handing in my dissertation with lots of work today#and the housing situation here sucks#and two people who Iāve been talking to about housing#who know how badly it all sucks#have put in for a flat of their own without saying anything#and I get it#itās not really a shock cause like theyāre a couple that can get a 1 bed and split the cost#theyāve been together 18 months#but Iām not even worth the talk apparently.#is it me is there something fundamentally wrong with my ability to make friends#or am I just really crap at picking people out#and like. theyāre not awful people donāt get me wrong#but I also reckon if I went home from here for an extended period of time.#or left after uni#Iād never see any of them again#and apparently I feel badly enough about it all that I need to shout into the void here.#something that I do not do at all#but I have no idea what Iām doing now and finding somewhere new to live that is walkable to the uni is really difficult cause#for a uni town they sure donāt like students in any of their properties#I have so much work to do I should not be worrying about any of this right now#but Iād like to just play the switch instead and forget about this project or other people for a while#and I canāt cause this is due in on Wednesday and thereās still lots to do#and I canāt even complain about it to anyone cause they all talk to each other#a little circle of gossip that just goes round and round
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while making little jokes & memes about antis sometimes is silly & fun, like 90% of proshippers take every chance they get to just complain & complain abt antis & engage with them* (like replying to Every post they see from one of them or w/e) & screenshot + go off abt anti posts & it's like my brother in christ just go live ur life. it quite literally is not worth ur time. antis wont care abt what u have to say just like u dont care abt the shit They have to say. & posting abt antis is just repetitive annoying bullshit. no need to preach to a choir, buddy. especially not like 25 times.
block any anti u see w/o giving em the time of day & go read some fics. eat a starburst. write an analysis on the brocon tendencies between some idol boy twin duo. gush over ur fave chara. Anything Else; all better uses of ur time.
u do not have to revolve ur life around "oh my GOD look at what the antis are saying NOW theyre all so BAD & GROSS Proshippers Rule Antis Drool!!1! heres 50 posts abt discourse/antis/etc & 7 different beefs im having with ppl simultaneously" bro go watch some kuro or smth & dont let them live rent free in ur head like u live in theirs. have the upper hand by giving less of a fuck. why waste precious hrs arguing w Brick Walls when u could be watching toxic yaoi instead.
*this does not include if an anti comes after u. i think u can call them a little bitch if u want then lol. Justified.
#*extends out my hand* come. leave behind ur annoying ways & lets watch 0uran together. stop malding 24/7 like u have no life.#like i get complaining Sometimes esp if its smth u see going on/u saw but.. Constantly?? cmon#anyway yeah. blogs that are just full of 'UGH ANTIS' this & 'LOOK AT THIS USER' & engaging w antis are all :I in my eyes lol#could not be me! im too busy experiencing whimsy.#overgrowth.text
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Let's ban group projects at the 4th year level forever
#complaining incoming lol#i know it's cliche to say wahh i'm the group member who does all the work! but in this case holy hell.... i literally am.#my prof has set this assignment up so that the groups had to do all the work over reading week on the forums online#so no in-person contact. we have to create a dialogue about this article and then compile a master document with all our notes#and a comprehensive outline of the article. this is supposed to be presented to the other groups on wednesday.#reading week is over and i have not even heard a hello from a single group member. i made a long post with my notes and NOTHING.#i made that post during the week. literally not a peep from anyone (except for the prof thanking me for posting something). this is stupid.#and i'm about to make another post today because idfc. i just want the grade and then to be done with it. i'm pissed lol.#so i assume i'll be making the master document too?#come on... these are 4th year students. and if maybe they're falling behind because of what's going on in the world -#- then perhaps my professor can extend the project a week longer? she hasn't made any statements about this yet.#like... i think there is a good chance that students are finding it hard to get work done with the current events. myself included.#still pissed. but if that's what's holding people back then i'm sympathetic.
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boy son and girl daughter are the only characters who matter in kaiju no.8
#yall think im joking but im not#can i complain for a second?#i think kaiju no. 8 is one of the most clear examples of shounen degredation that ive seen in something that hasnt been axed#ok so im caught up but i havent read the spinoff and like#who even are these character?#what do we know about kafka other than his motivations????#uhh hes middle aged and ummmm hes childhood friends with mina.......... uhhhhh hes nice?#yall its been 100 chapters#that extends to literally every character#boy son( reno) what do we know about him#we know his sad backstory but like we dont even know what he was doing prior to taking the exam#girl daughter (kikoru) we know more about but shes got other story problems#but i still dont think i could list anything other than her involvement with kaijus#it just feels like we've went from big action to big action and it feels hollow cuz i barely know these people#and i get it maybe we learn more about them from the spinoff#but i shouldnt have to read a spinoff.... to know the main character#after 100 chapters#and its really not even the authors fault#the character interactions we get? ARE GOOD#its just so apparent that this is what happens when you have to always be amping up the action to not get cancelled#we're losing so much#if you asked me who my favorite character was and what about them i liked i dont think i would be able to honestly answer#and thats sad#kaiju no. 8#sorry this is a really complainy post i just i really wanted to like this manga#and its not even bad its just disapointing#on a brighter note after binging the whole thing in like a day i had a dream set in the universe#and it was like kafka and mina's relationship but instead of childhood friends it was 2 guys who were actually married#so it gave me that at least
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So with the hangout.. do you think that settles the issue of mistranslation or not of Kaeya and Diluc being brothers?
is it even possible to settle it? i feel like there must be some insane cultural difference between me as a western person and chinese people when it comes to adoptive siblings because, i honestly don't see how the biological son of the guy you consider your adoptive father isn't, by extension, your adoptive brother; how would that relationship not be familial? even when you bring in the "sworn brothers" trope as a means of queercoding, which is a concept ive had explained to me more than once ā like, okay? i agree that it's true you can't properly translate/localize that, but. how else did you want them to translate it? even if the word brother was never used once in the eng translation, how do you make it so that kaeya and diluc calling the same guy "father" doesn't imply some uncomfortable things if he and diluc are romantically involved..? but then, who knows, maybe i just don't have enough knowledge about how censorship works in china, how they do queercoding over there, how they deal with adopted relationships, whatever. it's fine. different cultural upbringings, no? it's funny when it's the western side of the fandom discussing this, though. because you'll have these extremely white people arguing with you about the intricacies of chinese BL media. as if either of us knows what the hell we're talking about. anyway, none of this matters in the end because most klc shippers just... like the incest. and the day we stop arguing about mistranslations and simply accept that people either 1) see this relationship in a different light due to their cultural background or 2) are a little bit of a freak online is the day i will finally know peace as a kaeya fan
#i dont think this will be settled until we stop asking if it's settled. what if we just don't speak about it anymore#me: no i dont do discourse. sorry. *five minutes later*#first and last time i will spend this many words on this topic#and i hate the ''it's just fiction'' argument because yes. it is just fiction.#im not gonna come here and say this has an effect on real life. of course it doesnt this is gacha game yaoi#and i wont say that people aren't well within their right to engage with this sort of content either#i dont think it necessarily means anything about the moral values you apply to reality#i myself am into things in fiction that i find horrible in real life. why wouldn't i extend this same logic to proshipping?#doesn't change the fact that it's something i find weird and uncomfortable.#and that it's something that a Lot of people are going to find weird and uncomfortable#and that acting like this is just a regular pairing between two random guys is.. frankly really dumb#if you're gonna be weird about it at least own it! admit you're just into things society perceives as very gross#and tag your thing correctly so i can filter it out and block me so i never ever have to interact with you in my life#Okay. that's out of my system now. i apologize for posting discourse#complaining tag#askpilled#discourse
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Someone go back in time and kill me before I accepted my assistant position i canāt stand dealing with rude ass people all day and fixing their problems
#THIS IS ABOUT THE GUEST FROM YESTERDAY AGAIN#THE ONE WHO SAID I WAS STUPID FOR ASKING IF SHE WANTED A RECEIPT#I swear she came in knowing she was going to ruin my day#she literally stood in my office for at least 20 minutes arguing with me about a charge#that I explained OVER SND OVER since yesterday#and the entire time sheās calling me rude and how awful I am#she even said I got a biblical name but Iām not biblical š and that she believes god will get me#she just stood there complaining about the hotel and how weāre all liars and everyone should be fired#and then had the audacity to still want to extend her stay š§š»āāļøSHE WANTED TO STAY LONGER#I told her no because she was being very disrespectful to me and I wouldnāt put up with it#she started getting angry saying she never yelled or raised her voice and that IM#the rude one#she wouldnāt even let me get a word in and interrupted every thing I tried saying#CAN U PLS JUST LEAVE#LEAVE THE OFFICE THE HOTEL STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE#FOR MY SANITY PLS
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