#just me being mediocre
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I see this thing that bi femmes do a lot when they date men, they constantly harp about how much they want a gf but that they settled for a mediocre man like... trust me I get it girls are hot but why would you put down your partner like that 😭
#maybe its time to break up with ur man and just go find a gf???#im mega homo i draw girls being gay constantly but i could never imagine calling my bf mediocre or 2nd choice to a hypothetical gf#best part about being bisexual for me is that gender is basically irrelevant when it comes to attraction
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I want to read books I want to write more I want to play the piano I want to sing in key I want to delve into fashion history I want to travel I want to publish research papers and I want to become a surgeon and I’m supposed to do all that in this one wild and beautiful life
#Ummm#This is why taking time off before I go to med school is the right call for me there’s sm I want to do constantly but the time!!#This lowkey sucks tho bc ever since I was little I’ve had dreams of writing something profound and being published#Both in a scientific context and also just like in a writing anything profound concept#But ik writing is very high bar and Id have to dedicate time to it and be super serious if I wanna self teach and honestly#Every day Im more and more tempted to just get a lit masters but where is the time if I want to become a doctor!!#Maybe it’ll just be a far fetched dream that I work on on the side bc physicians who’re also authors exist#I j want to contribute something meaningful to this world but to do that ik I have to consume great art first and dissect it and learn from#It#And just like not listen to ppl’s opinions and do what I want but it’s hard when I’m on a timeline#It’s bc I understand none of these vocations are anything to sneeze at and I wanna take them seriously instead of being mediocre at them#Like I truly wanna LEARN but the time management skills are gonna have to go way up#Does anyone understand me or am I having an unnecessary meltdown
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ok so.does tumblr still ahte me
#i didnt do jack tumblr just dgaf abt me or my stupid doodles#curse you talented artists for setting a high bar#just one more night being mediocre#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#mcr fanart
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Concept, Korvo does Terry and Jessie’s makeup because they both suck at it and Korvo has very steady hands. He gets really good at it.
(I accidentally made Korvo use both his left and right hand here so idk assume he’s ambidextrous or something)
#I just want them to be a happy domestic family is that too much to ask?!#don’t mind me just hyper fixating on a dead fandom that was never that big to begin with#I need a season 6#mainly just so the fandom has a chance of being revived#I can’t draw arms or clothing just ignore that thank you#just look at them being a family and ignore my mediocre art skills#solar opposites#korvo opposites#terry opposites#jessie opposites#tervo#passes out#dies#my art
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is a total of three days of screaminktober missed worth it for this?
eh, idk, but I got this done, and it's not like anyone's holding me super accountable for that anyway
plus the funnier ending that I got to work/really wanted to post too
he put a lot of effort into those puns, dude, the least you can do is not call them bad
#i know this kinda paints them in a cynical “i don't wanna be the good guy anymore/i'm tired of being the hero all the time”#but they're just tired#like physically#and mentally#and emotionally#and they wanna see their girlfriend#and i like the idea of them being a bad guy for a little bit#my art#splatoon#splatoon 3#tsunami(captain 3)#ika(new agent 3)#captain 3#new agent 3#dj octavio#splatoon side order#side order bad ending au#side order#tsunami uptempo#those are actual mediocre puns btw if you wanna figure them out#or ask me and i'll tell you lmao
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iron / heart
Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.
#lolelements#lol esports#t1 faker#t1 oner#t1 zeus#t1 gumayusi#t1 keria#skt bang#skt wolf#skt bengi#skt kkoma#warning: MAJOR yapping incoming below#thinking about still here.mp3 and 'gripping with my cold hands the shapes i used to take'#'it could all end here with the strange daylight caught in our eyes'#'my shadow stretching out through all the things i left behind'#opening ceremony+t1 has everything they need to put me on a stretcher to ER#images from lol esports flickr (2016 worlds either finals or semis i goofed and forgot)#(and msi 2024 brackets features and worlds 2024 semis features)#there is a universe where i collected more pics and put a bit more thought into which word should go to who#but that universe also involves me doing this at a time that is not 5am#this is my last one probably twas lots of fun but new things on the horizon for me#this post is scheduled to post on finals day but just know that i am awake and shitting my pants over worlds finals#then recovery period and then im shifting into arcane mode#being completely deranged is a full time commitment never let anyone tell you otherwise#lil pat on the back for myself for successfully posting one per day til finals EVEN if they were sorta mediocre or dupes hahaha#special thanks to t1 for making it to semis because if they didn't there's a chance i would have lost steam LMAO#work school and the physical need for sleep work hard#but the esports demons in my brain work harder
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standard sketch turned colored with effort story up here uhh
I'm also a bit let down by the immmortalis trailer, but I'm still hopeful for it being at least a little fun. I think it's gonna be an AU or a post queen ending where the protagonist gets off the island somehow. either way I do like to think it's taking place in a completely different kingdom.
anyhoo silly headcanons and doodles below
soooo i think they'd all have slightly different fighting styles
- The Beheaded (in game) has the most varied style, jack of all trades type of guy, though they're the most cautious of the bunch with encounters, knowing when to run unlike the rest. - Bobby (trailers) uses the meme builds and pets, though they're ok with most weapons, they've got a deadly proficiency with pans. Bobby also rerolls for biters on all their weapons. - Official art, for them its kill or be killed, relentless and constant bloodshed. they never use shields and bows are only used if they can't reach their next victim. - Flame (immortalis) from what the trailer showed, he strangely keeps mainly to fist to fist, he used some light weapons but most of the trailer had his hands empty. He seems the kind to beat an enemy to a pulp with his fists and feet than any weapon.
also flame being the only one that can speak is funny to me
one laaaaaast little thing
little little silly guy silly scrunkle tiny
tiny man (derogatory to the highest degree)
#completely off topic#why can the queen talk while the beheaded cant in game?#is that something the devs forgot or just a strange quirk of being a “perfect” homonculus?#art#original art#dead cells#deadcells#the beheaded#bobby dead cells#dead cells fanart#dead cells immortalis#dead cells beheaded#dead cells bobby#what do you call the trio drawing thing?#eh idk#i see immortalis beheaded as a squeaky toy#maybe thats why i dont hate it as much as everyone else?#hes just too silly to be angry at to me#im excited for it still#though its probably gonna be mediocre im still hopeful#id love any comments#idc for reblogs i just like seeing what ppl say
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WHAATT ??? SPOOKY MAKING ACTUAL ART AGAIN ??? thiz iz insane
★ version without text + image based on under cut :
★ song : "Goodbye to This Meaningless Everyday" – Dobu no Awa
#wowza thiz one waz kinda really super mega hard#the background waz a huge pain to make but im actually so proud of how it came out#i felt like i needed to unwind after today . especially cuz tomorrow will be a million timez more stressful . but instead i made thiz ://#ive had thiz song stuck in my head for a few dayz and wowza i needed to make smth based on it – just had to get it out of my system#also i finally drew colin again !!!! featuring some kind of important lore related stuff !!!!#young colin !!!! wow !!!! feast your eyez upon him !!!!#.....#oh who am i even kidding#nobody will care about thiz#nobody botherz with what i make anymore#why should i#itz clear that i have to give up on making mediocre art and instead focuz on getting a good job – i have no worth az a living being anyway#so might az well make myself useful ...#i have no redeeming qualities – everyone i know doezn't care for me and thatz ok#itz fine#i don't mind#some of us need to be the primary pick for natural selection anywayz#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#bro itz literally midnight i should be sleeping#what am i doing with my life bro – a time such az thiz should be dedicated to studying . not for mucking around#im such a failure child#sigh
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Incredibly mad at myself because I just had a vision of one, singular path to Dinostar.
I keep trying to kill it because it's been dead for years, but apparently there might be a way.
#it's very angsty and I don't think it'll happen#but we will see#just stay gone and either get back to the mediocre cute ship or let me have my on-and-off toxic yuri#jwct#chaos theory#it mostly hinges on Brooklynn and Darius both being on top of the other's mind#but
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Game designers/visual artists going "yeah we'll minimize the narrative noise" while having literally zero expertise in storytelling/narration <33333
#thoughts#totk critical#it is SO painfully relatable#once I was in a meeting for a narrative game with designers#from a studio known for narrative games and praised for narrative games#going “yeah I legit don't give a fuck about story at all I just skip everything it's pointless to me I only care about mechanics”#to me and to my face btw!!!!!#here's the thing: verbose self-involved games that are too into their own mediocre story are a thing and they annoy me too#I do 100% agree that interactivity and player involvement will matter more always#(but also!! being engrossed in a good story IS inherently interactive and playful!!!!!! hgnnn!!!! anyway)#fun fact: that game ended up praised for its story and panned for its mechanics so oh well#should have maybe gave more of a fuck about narrative intent and the game would have been better and sold more maybe#crazy how these things happen#anyway sorry I'm a hater today
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*Me after reading Skybound #13 knowing that Elita-1 would get badly misinterpreted by the fandom with media literacy of a koala (And the misogyny just gonna make the matter worse)
Also, *me blaming Optimus Prime's incompetency in his leadership that forced someone like Elita-1 in desperate and hopeless situations that she had to resolve to sacrifice another planet to save her own planet...
#transformers skybound#Optimus Prime#Elita-1#transformers#rant#I don't know why but Skybound!Optimus just gave me that mediocre white man vibe to me#I liked him for being a gentle giant at first#But now... eh I just feel frustrated about his character#But then consider this is pay back for the dunking on Elita-1 from Skybound
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i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao
#when i say that niles is the most envious creature i mean it#he’s watched a good handful of them become more successful with their music than he ever would be and felt that since he was basically the#reason for the success (not really. not like it’s everything it’s mostly luck but you have no real passion for this lol)#it would be fine if he had a piece of the cake too with future students. not like he immediately came to this conclusion#and felt not torn and no guilt over it.#took a while to rationalise it and all.#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time#it’s not like he believes he’s better than them he just wants people’s eyes and attention on him so unbelievably bad that’s what he believes#he deserves#and at some point(s) he feels so small that he will do shit like this. he would fake having a terminal illness too lol#he’s just a loser. niles’ story is supposed to be a horror comedy style thing and the majority of the comedy comes from that fact lol#oc: niles#honestly? can relate on the parts of being a loser who is only ever mediocre at something creative they do.#for me i don’t think it’s for the same reasons as niles especially don’t care about fame or shit like that lol#and i obviously don’t steal shit even if my ocd tells me the exact opposite so much#that i actually hesitated to post this because i thought people would assume that i steal too because he’s my character#and your ocs always have a part of yourself in them and what if people found out that i was stealing i just didn’t know and. hi.#can you tell that i’m a fear based writer. i write about my fears. hi#anyways. and then kingmaker and fae mpreg happens. yay
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hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes
#random thoughts#watched a video on why a specific character was poor representation for survivors of assault#and it was such a nothing burger of a video#'this character is bad because children might see them and think their behavior is okay' okay?#i learned how to block out memories from finn adventure time but that doesn't mean memory suppression shouldn't be addressed in media#plus hazbin hotel. i'm talking about angel dust btw if that wasn't blaringly obvious. is an adult cartoon. for adults#adult cartoons shouldn't have to restrict their subject matter because kids could see it#and angel dust being a male queer SA victim using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism could be good!#and the fact he hits on other people despite it making them uncomfortable isn't exactly a problem a la his character?#it could be a control thing. i used to do something similar (pushing other people's boundaries and complaining when they pushed back)#because it made me feel some kind of control over my life#it could start off as a really shitty joke and then grow into 'oh god is that why he does that??'#but anyway their second main point was that the songs were bad? and that poison being an upbeat song makes it bad#like despite listing many other songs which are upbeat with heavy lyrics. but somehow poison is the exception because it's a cartoon?#like again that could be a character thing. angel dust using obfuscation as a coping mechanism to distract himself from his shitty life.#。・゚゚・the lyrics are upbeat to distract you from how dead i feel inside・゚゚・。#and their reading of the second song seemed really mean-spirited?#like as 'everyone has problems so you're not special because you're a whiny baby' rather than 'you're not as alone as you think you are'#and like if op wanted to just complain about a show they watched then yeah go off i do that all the time#but don't parade it as character analysis???#and they say 'oh reading it as a feelgood you're not alone message doesn't work because these characters' struggles are not equal'#but like. sometimes rape needs to feel like it's not some special trauma. it's not unique and you're not uniquely fucked up for it#two characters' traumas don't need to be directly comparable for them to bond!!!#and im not like. defending hazbin hotel btw. never seen it not going to see it no thanks#i'm just complaining about a mediocre youtube video that i'm going to forget about in a week#god i hate that brand of youtube video. where they just complain about things without going into depth about why they're bad#especially if their complaints are shallow and don't have to do with like. the actual structure of a character or story#like it's so easy to say 'this character is bad because theyre a predatory stereotype' but like. go into some depth at least#i think i hate these videos so much because they're fueled purely by hate. no love for the source material or even a desire to learn#or a love for storytelling even
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I'm sorry guys I'm really getting tired of Timothee Chalamet's non-existent ass in every fucking movie these days.
#I don't even think he is a bad actor I think he is definitely good#but HONESTLY I'm really done with him why does it feel like he is in every new movie these days#it really just makes me exhausted of him I think I need him to stop doing films for a few years or something#because a lot of these just end up feeling like I'm being inundated with him#and so you get his good performances mixed in with a lot of mediocre ones#apologies to my mutuals who like him but he really just annoys me now I'm sorry#squack
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𝐚 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 / drabble ₊
growing up, he'd never been made to feel the lesser of the sons of fraldarius. often, he'd wondered if it was all in his head.
he couldn't be said to have received any less attention. though his memories of his mother are sparing, their father had been equally rigorous with them both. their education had been equally complete. their training equally emphasized. it made sense——the name fraldarius wasn't a small one, or easy to live up to. the arm that filled the king's shield, young or old, needed to be strong, peerless, unflinching.
he couldn't be said to have received any less love. as the youngest of their entourage, many would've said he'd had anything but.
maybe it had only been in his head.
maybe it was him who saw glenn's skill in both lance and sword when he just wanted to exceed him in the blade.
maybe it was him who noticed how glenn cast with their father's talent in the goddess' magic when he showed no interest in those lessons.
"you're too narrowminded, felix," his father told him. his tutors told him. his mentor told him. "what happens if you're disarmed? your sword gets taken?" they proceeded then to do just that——schwing!——sunlight glinting sharply off steel as it sailed tip over hilt to clatter to the ground, leaving him defenseless at his enemy's lancepoint. at the other end of it was any number of those who'd built him and honed his skill, made him who he was today.
. . .
like he said, his father was like that too. skilled in faith magic, that is.
they say that magic came to him before the lance did, even before riding did. that when he was a boy, he used to struggle to match his peers in steel, and would be mocked and laughed at: what kind of king's shield can't even land a javelin! but that he made up for it in the strength of the goddess' smite that would silence them.
glenn, too, harnessed the same terrifying aurora that spilled from rodrigue's deft hand: a roar of brilliant light, the memory of dark waves bloodstreaked from horseback burned into a foe's eyes, more than enough to make repentence of apostasy.
for his father, it'd been faith in the goddess. his brother, faith in his loved ones.
in turn, felix had never sought out magic, never felt or welcomed its spark. his father said nothing——even after glenn had died, he said nothing, for all that he said to him at all at the time. and with glenn's death had died the last of any desire he might've had to pursue it: to better match him maybe, or live up to some imagined expectation ; to please his father maybe, or shirk off the voices saying he was too stubborn. instead, the blade was where he found himself, the same where he had always found himself. the blade was where he found his brother, and the pieces of everything he'd once held sacred. and so there he'd stayed.
until——
until. . .
a drop of ink disturbs clear water. someone tells him: magic will make you a stronger swordsman.
it's an echo of the voices from the past. "you're too narrowminded, felix" chases him forward in time like a hydra, grabbing him again in these cloistered, dust-smote halls where they'd never walked and had never seen him. his expression sours at first, and he swears, he swears. . .
but this time, he listens——because the voice that has chased him is none other than glenn's. airy and teasing, always flippant, who used to say to everyone else: "lay off him. he'll pick it up or he won't." now he says:
give it a try, felix.
give it a try, felix.
so felix finds, with enough time, that his faith is the faith that splits like lightning. born not from the goddess, nor in the belief that in memory he will never die, but something else. some third thing he doesn't know, but which howls and thrashes and bites even him, which would claim his life if he wasn't strong enough. and it feels like him. it feels like him like the blade feels like him, an extension of something he lives by and vouches for.
after all, thunder isn't too far off from faith: a flash of light, a smoldering crater, a scar for the departed.
FELIX has mastered:⠀ dread fighter.
#﹙ ˙ ˖ × ﹚ + ╱ THE HOUR AT WHICH THE WILDERNESS GLEAMS BLUE .#the way i was like “i hate this i hate this” the whole time while writing it#and only started being like “okay maybe this is presentable” toward the end LMAO#drabbles are a struggle for me so i've started telling myself “it doesn't have to be the next great american novel” each time#and it does actually really help with the writers block#but it means i'm not always in love with everything i put out KLJNALKSDJ#me @ me: thats ok tho rai just accept mediocrity sometimes
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Soooo. Was Poppy Playtime Chapter 3 a fluke or
#because tell me why they're releasing a bunch of new “nightmare critter” designs#so nothing different or new first of all just a rerun of what worked and was appealing in the last chapter apparently#plus they've all got this. mediocrity to them#the smiling critters weren't perfect but they had a simple charm and a sense of uniformity#they felt plausible as a brand#these new guys feel like designs a brand would pick from a roster of fan entries#and incorporate (poorly) into the original show's style#the posing is worse the line weight is worse#it's. eugh#my exact reaction as each new design comes out “😬😬😬”#maybe I'm just being a hater but i have literally no one to rant to about this soooo fellow haters interact#anyways. my expectations for chapter 4 have dropped significantly but who knows maybe it'll defy expectations.#knowing Mob Entertainment's track record tho literally none of this comes as a surprise 🤷🏾♀️#words#poppy playtime#is there a neg tag. uh. idk#this is all tags anyway
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