#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loderlied · 8 days ago

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i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao

#when i say that niles is the most envious creature i mean it #he’s watched a good handful of them become more successful with their music than he ever would be and felt that since he was basically the #reason for the success (not really. not like it’s everything it’s mostly luck but you have no real passion for this lol)#it would be fine if he had a piece of the cake too with future students. not like he immediately came to this conclusion #and felt not torn and no guilt over it.#took a while to rationalise it and all.#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time #it’s not like he believes he’s better than them he just wants people’s eyes and attention on him so unbelievably bad that’s what he believes #he deserves #and at some point(s) he feels so small that he will do shit like this. he would fake having a terminal illness too lol #he’s just a loser. niles’ story is supposed to be a horror comedy style thing and the majority of the comedy comes from that fact lol #oc: niles #honestly? can relate on the parts of being a loser who is only ever mediocre at something creative they do.#for me i don’t think it’s for the same reasons as niles especially don’t care about fame or shit like that lol #and i obviously don’t steal shit even if my ocd tells me the exact opposite so much #that i actually hesitated to post this because i thought people would assume that i steal too because he’s my character #and your ocs always have a part of yourself in them and what if people found out that i was stealing i just didn’t know and. hi.#can you tell that i’m a fear based writer. i write about my fears. hi #anyways. and then kingmaker and fae mpreg happens. yay

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