#just look at the turtle amanda

[raihyeon]

[misskattylashes]

Okay, I’m going to do it. I have been holding back and just telling my closest fandom friends my crazy theory, but what the hell. Most of you think I’m batshit anyway.

Here we go.....

What if we have been on the receiving end of a long played out psyop and Louise has been a way to make the public want Milex?

Okay, hear me out...

It’s 2017/8 Alex has abandoned Miles after EYCTE. He has gone to France to write and record TBHC, having realised their little TLSP bubble could never last (see Star Treatment). Without Alex, Miles is a little lost and lonely in LA. His reputation is also at rock bottom after the journalist incident. Miles decides he wants to move back to England, and Alex decides he wants to move back to, as we know they can never be more than a few minutes away from each other

Taylor either wouldn’t or couldn’t leave LA, so she and Alex break up. But they need a new girlfriend to keep up the straight image (especially with the new badly-received album and a world tour about to begin). On the original version of OPP as seen on the AM in Mexico video, over the turtle segment Alex sings ‘One More Year I’ll Call It Quits’ maybe the plan was to give it all up,but he had signed a contract to do another album and tour after TBHC, and with Miles’ reputation so bad, if they were together then they would both be cancelled.

So a European girlfriend is found and this is where the subterfuge begins. We start with old Instagram posts with tags like #alexturnerwillyoumarryme, then we get professionally shot videos of her backstage at AM’s concert (all the time Alex is ‘still with’ Taylor) so as soon as they launch, the first image of Louise the public get is a negative one, as a fangirl who has set out to get Alex, not caring if he cheats in his current girlfriend.

Before I list the reasons why I think she is fake, can I say this idea he has stayed with her as punishment for cheating on Taylor is absolutely ridiculous. Men who are serial cheats aren’t known for wearing hairshirts. Especially when you’re a handsome, wealthy rock star who could easily get another girlfriend.

So, the idea is, Louise is the most unpleasant person who makes Alex miserable, and if most people are honest, they want Alex to be happy..

So, let’s look at the evidence..(where there is a * it means there is a Miles counterside)

Louise doesn’t work. She claims to be a feminist, but her job seems to be being Alex’s girlfriend.

She openly copies selfies posed by previous girlfriends, making her look like she has no personality of her own

She boasts in her IG posts ie the ‘we just fucked’ pic and the panties on the piano.

She claims to be a musician but we rarely see her writing or recording anythjng.*

She writes embarrassing things about itAlex on social media (beautiful dick).*

Openly takes a neutral stance on Palestine.

Claims to wear vintage clothes but they rarely are*

When Alex was ill after the third London show, it is publicised that he leaves the Emirates with his parents, no sign of Louise. She’s too busy taking pics in the hotel with Matt and Amanda

Meanwhile Miles has worked hard on his public image. He has shown he is a hard worker. He rarely mentions Alex on social media and when asked about him in interviews, whilst admitting they are good friends, is insistent they are not working together. Which is good because he has always been accused of riding on Alex’s fame.

He frequently gives updates when he his writing and recording, treating us to little snippets, something Louise never does.

Is it a coincidence that holiday gate is the same as the week One Man Band’s release. Alex looking miserable with Louise Vs Miles being charming and hard working.

Not long after Louise starts going on about her fake vintage, Miles posts a whole real of him going proper vintage shopping so he looks authentic.

Even in Dublin there is no duet with Alex. Miles not using Alex’s,fame,but also those who monitor social media can see how hungry they are for Milex interaction.

The river Mersey comment – another way of guaging public opinion. Finally the legion of doom 😍😍 comment on the NY recent. The fandom went crazy at Milex acknowledgement.

Alex....

His face..Alex is a pro. He has had twenty years of faking smiles after arguments with the other Monkeys, girlfriends, even Miles. He could fake a smile with Louise if we wanted to when they call their friends at Backgrid to take pap pictures. But instead he chooses to look like someone either on the verge of tears or else being held hostage. And in the latest set of pics, Louise looks the same.

The Taylor tattoo....it looks like he thinks so little of her he has kept that tattoo.

‘I don’t wanna be hers, I wanna be yours’ quite often at gigs where Louise is in attendance.

Not one song on the car written about her.

And now of course with the tour over, a lot of people return to watching TLSP videos. Happy, muscly, healthy looking Alex having fun with Miles as opposed to skinny, miserable Alex trapped with Louise.

Apart from Louise’s most ardent fans, most people want to see him away from her and would be overjoyed at a TLSP reunion, and for us Milexers, a declaration of their love.

So, has this been a long game? A way of making the people think they want Milex? I told you it was crazy, but just remember the world of public relations is completely underhand and insane.

[hayleythesugarbowl]

I crave more Ian Hecox!! Maybe one of him and reader being the “mom and dad” of Smosh. Like the cast being silly and Ian joining dad style while reader is laughing and keeping Angela from getting hurt or something. Just something 150% fluff! Thank you 💕💕

Historical Figure’s Mario Kart || Ian Hecox x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist  ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: imagine dating ian and being the mom + dad of smosh as you all hang out

word count: 1k

warnings: none at all, this has no plot it’s just vibes

a/n: this is super short but I loved this idea—i adore writing abt the smosh characters just hanging out. this is just 1,037 words of smosh cast being stupid (affectionate). fem!reader. enjoy! 🎀

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Do I—in theory—look like Leonardo DaVinci?”

     Amanda petted the fake beard she wore on her chin. Her, Angela, Chanse, Courtney, and Spencer all sat on a couch, staring at the TV screen in front of them, controllers in hand. 

     You had just walked into the room, followed by your boyfriend, Ian, who was sizing up Amanda’s costume. 

     “Close,” Ian said, “but you’re missing the  19-24 year old girl.”

     Ian walked towards a chair near the couch the rest of the cast sat on. He sat down and you joined him, taking your spot on his lap, watching the scene in front of you.

     “DiCaprio wishes he had a beard like this,” Amanda winked, twirling the hair around her finger 

     “Look, mom and dad are here!” Spencer joked, looking up from the game at you and Ian. 

     You rolled your eyes at him, turning to Ian and kissing him dramatically.

     “Ew, mom and dad are kissing!” Angela added. “I don’t want to see that”

     You weren’t that much older than any of the Smosh cast. But since you were dating Ian, one of the dads of Smosh, you supposed mom kind of came with the title. 

     That, and, according to them, you acted like their mother. 

     “What’re you guys playing?” You asked them as Ian flipped off Angela. She stuck her tongue out back at him. 

     “An epic game of Mario Kart,” Courtney informed you. “If you get hit by a turtle shell, you have to add a piece to your historical-themed costume. Which is why Amanda—”

     “—is a 15th century renaissance artist,” Ian nodded. “Who, by the way, died in the arms of King Francis. Little fruity if you ask me.”

     “He walked so we could run,” Chanse said, never taking his eyes off the screen. 

     “Or, in your case, slip on all of the banana peels in sight,” Spencer teased.

     “Oh it is so on, Elvis.” 

     You took in Spencer’s black wig and white jumpsuit. 

     You then looked around at the others. Courtney wore what could only have been a Bob Ross wig and Chase had on a Marilyn Monroe dress, red lipstick and all. And Angela…

     “Who are you supposed to be anyway?” You asked Angela. 

      “I’m Dr. Mike,” she gestured to her scrubs as if it was obvious. 

     “You heard historical and thought Dr. Mike?” Ian asked.

     “You’re speaking to Miss Another Plane Has Hit the Food Pyramid, remember?” Chanse said. 

     “It was an honest mistake anyone could make!” Angela shouted. “And what do you know, you’re dead.”

     “We don’t know that!” Chanse yelled, focused in on the race. “She could still be out there.”

     “Tell me about it,” Spencer added. “You think they spelled Elvis’s middle name wrong on his tombstone on accident? It’s all part of the conspiracy.”

     “A conversation about conspiracy theories and you didn’t start it?” You turned to Ian. “What has this world come to?” 

     “Got him,” Courtney said, turning her controller sharply. 

     “Oh he sent me the article,” Spencer informed you. “And gave me the brochure for the Elvis Sightings club.”

     “We talked about this,” you turned to Ian. “No spreading your propaganda.” 

     “Challenge: impossible,” Angela laughed, spinning the scissors she held around on one finger. 

     “What are the scissors for?” You pointed to what Angela was holding in the hand that didn’t have her remote. 

     “The supply of surgical tools here is lower than you might think,” she said sarcastically. “This is as good as it gets.”

     “Well, from the looks of all of your detailed costumes—and Angela’s—you all suck.” Ian said. “Let me show you how it’s done.”     

     He stood up, stretching his back. You got up with him and walked behind the couch so you could see the screen. 

     “Don’t break anything, grandpa,” Spencer joked. 

     “Ian, do you even know how to play this game?” Courtney asked. “It was made after 1975.”

     “Roasted,” Amanda said, before leaning back to whisper to you, “I’m so lost—do I want to kill those things or use them?”

     “Neither, that’s the final lap turtle,” you told her. 

     Everyone looked at you. “What? I’m around you yahoos 24/7–you’re bound to pick up a thing or two here and there.”

     “Here Ian, try and win me one,” Amanda handed Ian her controller, letting him race for  her. “I keep trying to collect all of the sparkly red boxes, but I don’t think it’s working for me.”

     “Amanda, for the last time—” Chanse began, before cutting off. “You know what, never mind.”

     Ian took it from Amanda as the race began, already driving his car off the edge of a a cliff.

     You giggled. 

     “I’m going to get some paint for my costume,” Amanda said, sighing as she accepted her defeat. “Angela, I hope you already ate.”

     “Very funny, Angela eats paint, screw you,” Angela said. 

     You stood back as you watched Ian and the rest of your friends play. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself at the fun they were having, shouting and laughing and cheering—a cool dad playing a video game with all of his kids. 

     Ian looked over at you. “What?”

     “Nothing,” you grinned, looking at your watch. “But don’t you guys have a shoot in, like, 10 minutes?”

     “Buzzkill,” Spencer mumbled.

     “Aren’t you the director of this channel?” You asked Spencer. 

     He ignored you. 

     “Yeah,” Ian pouted, “One more game?” 

     “Don’t encourage them,” you joked, grabbing the controller out of Ian’s hand and pulling him towards you, planting a kiss on his forehead. 

     “Geez, who died and made her president of the company,” Angela looked to the rest of the cast, pointing the scissors at you. “When did she start getting to boss us around?”

     “When I started dating the president of the company, doctor” you shot back, grabbing the scissors out of Angela’s hand before she could do any damage with them. 

     Ian laughed, grabbing your other hand—the one that wasn’t occupied with Angela’s scissors, and linking his fingers with yours. 

     Amanda walked back in the room then.

     “I couldn’t find any paint, but I found a pilot’s hat—Angela, you wanna take this one?”

     “For the last time, 2001 and 2011 look really similar on paper!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this little imagine. have a lovely day filled with thoughts abt ian 🤭

[nicohischierz]

the start of something new: nico hischier

tagging: @ivy-34, @hzstry8, @francesfarhadi, @cixrosie, @heartz4hisch, @trevs-swiftie, @itsnotgray, @estapa94

december 31st 2023.

you and your fiance were lucky to spend new years together.

the devils had flown in from boston late last night and seeing as they didn't have a game today you and nico decided to host the families at your apartment for a little get-together.

jack and luke had come over to help the two of you seeing as you were supposed to be on bed rest and nico was too busy fussing over you.

and seeing as the canucks didn't have a game anytime soon, quinn made a trip down to see lucas and amanda. as soon as the family of three entered lucas ran to your living room and began watching teenage mutant ninja turtles.

amanda had recruited jack's help to set the table while luke and quinn helped nico get dinner prepared. you were sat with lucas watching teenage mutant ninja turtles but somewhere down the line, the two of you started getting hungry.

"nico, y/n/n's standing!" jack called, pointing over at you.

everybody stopped what they were doing and went over to help you immediately. but you denied their help and waddled over to the kitchen looking for a popcorn packet.

luke had been assigned to help you make a snack and that resulted in him noticing first.

"y/n/n, did you spill water?" he asked, pointing at a spot on the floor.

you shook your head and looked down before gasping and looking at nico. your fiance dropped whatever was in his hands and rushed over to you.

"okay. okay, this is fine. umm let me just grab the car keys and then we can head over and umm. dear god where have I put the car keys," nico muttered.

quinn took the keys from the pot and told nico he'd drive. amanda went into the nursery and grabbed your hospital bag, handing it over to quinn.

"you three go ahead first. luke and jack will tell everyone that dinner may be starting a little later than expected and we'll meet you guys there," amanda instructed.

the car ride to the hospital was rather quiet except for you screaming at both nico and quinn.

"how could you do this to me?"

"we are never having sex again nico hischier I swear to you," you threatened.

nico thought that by the time you got. to the hospital and you were on epidural the threats would stop but they didn't. during that time, nico also thought he might lose all feeling in his hands.

but alas, nearly six hours later and with time to celebrate the new year, your baby girl was born.

"schätzli, look at her. she's beautiful just like her mother," nico cooed. one of the nurses then called nico over to cut the umbilical cord, whilst the other nurse tended to you.

you were sat in disbelief as your daughter's cries rang through the hospital. after nine long months, you finally get to meet your little girl.

nico had given you and your baby girl, saira, enough time to sleep before allowing your friends in.

the first people in were the hughes brothers and their partners. isla and lizzie started cooing over the small child in your arms while amanda made sure lucas knew not to hurt the baby.

the guys were a different story.

quinn couldn't believe the little freshman he had taken under his wing was about to start a family and luke and jack couldn't believe they now also had a niece to look after.

“what’s her name?” luke asked.

“saira mila hischier," nico answered.

[oicuperp]

PETS THE SAW CHARACTERS WOULD HAVE !!!!

ADAM

he would definitely bring home a lot of stray cats ,, he used to have ferrets and rats and he loved carrying them around in whatever hoodie he was wearing !!!!

LAWRENCE

allergic to cats . has only had fishes but hes usually not home or very busy so they always die but he cant stop getting them bc he loves watching them swim and he tries REALLY hard to keep them alive

AMANDA

she would have a crow ,, or a raccoon army . she loves grabbing pigeons on the streets and chasing adam with them (theyre the siblings ever okay idc about canon) . she also has A LOT of bugs, worms, moths, tarantulas etc

JOHN

he wouldnt have a pet himself but would take care of whatever pet anyone brings home !!!! animals definitely love him and follow him to his workshop and sometimes to bed when he wants to take a nap

LYNN

shes a hamster girlie ,, also used to have a turtle teehee . LOVES to put the hamster in a ball so it can follow her around the house . phone gallery FULL of videos of it !!!! usually sends them to amanda but stops sending her that many videos bc she always replies with videos of her bugs

HOFFMAN

100% a dog person ,, probably a saint bernard or a german shepherd . uses the dog as a blanket when hes laying on the couch watching a movie or smth . people always point out how the dog literally looks like him but he says he doesnt see it

STRAHM

never thought he was a cat person ,, didnt think he would have pets at all . hes THE chosen one istg cats see him and immediatly start following him . adopts a cat with a similar scar and calls it "cat" but everyone calls it "peter jr" bc it's silly ... he would DIE before moving when the cat in sleeping on him . he also carries it around the house with one of these

LINDSEY

the kinda girl who had 30 animals in her house when she was young ,, from dogs and cats and birds to horses and cows !!!! definitely enjoys hanging out with all kinds of animals and is probably one of the few ppl who would willingly ask amanda about her pets

JILL

has a dog !!!! also never got out of her horse phase ,, she probably has a friend who has horses and visits every weekend just to see the horses . kinda indifferent about the rest of animals but she still takes care of them

WILL

this man ONLY has piranhas ,, theyre cool AND he doesnt want animal hair everywhere so teehee . hes the kinda guy who always has a lint remover in his pocket

[sheisaquarius-blog]

Hi! Idk if this is related to your Love Like Magic AU but if you could assign each character a familiar, what animal or magical creature would you assign for each one of them?

oh man, i LOVE this question! so, in the 'love like magic' au, most of the familiars are not-too-out-of-the-ordinary pets/animals, but i'm going to take a few liberties with this ask for fun. obviously spork, freya and zelda, and bones and birdie all make little cameos in that fic, and i also gave ianthony bowie, but i want to go a little more magical with this question! hope you don't mind. everyone's familiars look something like this to me:

ian: a canine of some kind, for sure. maybe a wolf or coyote? fiercely loyal and a little rough (ruff) around the edges.

anthony: a crow. yes, part of that is based off the wwad video, but i've always loved the idea of his magic being dark but feather-soft. also wise, piercing eyes.

damien: gotta give damien the other spooky flying creature--he gets a bat. maybe a dagger-toothed long-nosed fruit bat? just love the difference between the 'scary' perception of bats and the reality. plus, i tied damien's magic so closely with the moon and night that it had to be nocturnal.

shayne: an owl, perhaps? wise and a little fearsome. intense. broad and also loud. maybe a little nocturnal for his sun-related magic, so maybe second best would be a golden eagle. but i do love an owl for him.

courtney: courtney gives such strong horse energy. i'm partial to an akhal-teke for this particular take because of the mark i gave her. these horses have an iridescent sort of sheen to them, so i like that for her.

angela: hyena. scrappy and resourceful. an incredible laugh. dog version of a cat.

arasha: a fox. red, clever, lanky, cunning, and elegant. cat version of a dog.

trevor: some kind of fresh water turtle. the boy is 80% neck, 20% vibes. enjoys his own pace. (also he works with chanse and i love the idea of chanse's favorite animal being trevor's familiar)

chanse: spotted leopard. gorgeous, elegant, biblically accurate eyes. something in the big cat family at the very least, preferably something lithe. gotta jump that car.

spencer: a frog. i don't know if i have a good justification for this one, it's just vibes. cute and i want to hold him in my hand.

tommy: i have to give credit to @lilac-hecox for this one because i was struggling, but maybe a cuttlefish? aquatics are hard, but a) comes with its own mustache, and b) i like it as a pairing to spencer's frog. they have an incredible ability to blend and camouflage, which i love for tommy, too.

amanda: like her co-owner she also gives me horse energy. maybe a friesian? i like the idea of her and courtney both having horses. friesians are maybe the most gorgeous, and also they're good at many things, including drafting. and goodness knows amanda carried 'love like magic' on her back despite not getting the justice she deserved from me.

[paradisecas]

MIDAM ANNIVERSARY MIDAM ANNIVERSARY. i was supposed to have the proposal fic finished by midam anniversary 2023 and wouldnt you know it im STILL not done. but i want to celebrate so here’s the very beginning, which takes place right before last year’s preview.

——

“Miss Plumber says she got married and we can call her Mrs. Jacobs now,” Bunny says over dinner. She tears at her roll a little too violently, mushing butter between her fingers. Adam knows she’ll refuse to use a napkin and that he and Michael will spend half an hour after bathtime wiping greasy smudges off every surface in the house. He mourns the rags he’ll have to wash tomorrow.

“That’s exciting,” Adam says, picking his battles and letting her continue getting all buttery. “Getting married is a big deal.”

Kitty starts to say something, but she’s still chewing her massive bite of spaghetti and Michael, who has a sixth sense for these things, shoots her a warning look. Kitty, of course, takes this warning as an excuse to open her mouth and let the unchewed mass plop onto her plate in her hurry to say, “Tony from my class said his dad got married too and that he doesn’t see his mom a lot anymore ‘cause she married someone else first.”

Michael’s admonishment dies out immediately. Adam actually watches it happen—his grace goes from indignantly disgusted to rapturously curious in a split second. “Oh?” he says, and Adam kicks him under the table.

This is not the time or place to press their child for gossip.

(That’s what the PTA group chat is for, anyway. Someone’s bound to know what went on with David and Amanda.)

“Sometimes things are complicated,” Adam decides to say.

“Very complicated,” Michael says, a little too gleeful, and Adam kicks him again.

“Miss Plumber showed us some pictures,” Bunny starts again, smearing her buttered hands along the tabletop, but Liv starts babbling around her green beans so Adam is forced to tune Bunny out in favor of his youngest. Michael will tell him anything he’s missed.

Her bib patterned with small turtles is stained red, not just from tonight, and Adam tries to add laundry to the to-do list on the fridge through sheer force of will, but. He’s not an archangel. He’ll have to remember to do that later.

When Liv is back to happily gnawing on her dinner, Adam turns back to the table’s conversation, just in time to hear Kitty ask, “Are you married?”

Adam blinks. Michael catches his eye across the table and shrugs with one shoulder.

“We’re not,” Adam says.

“Why?”

“It’s a human thing,” Michael says. “Angels don’t get married.”

“Oh.” Kitty looks down at her plate, almost forlorn. Then, again, “Why?”

“Angels are siblings, ergo we don’t get married,” Michael says, which is simplifying things to a ridiculous degree, but they can cover—that—later. When the girls are older. Much, much older.

Kitty nods. “Right,” she says, going to shove another forkful of spaghetti in her mouth and seemingly thinking better of it. “But you love each other?”

“Of course we do,” Michael says immediately.

It’s a valiant effort, truly, but Adam fails to squash down the smile that takes over. “Of course we do,” he repeats, “but we’re—it’s romantic and exciting, but we don’t need that.”

Because they don’t. It’s been—they’ve been together long enough that technically, probably, they’re considered common law married. Or they would be, if Michael was a human with a social security number and a place in the American census or whatever it takes to get legally married. And it’s not like they need a piece of paper or some rings to hammer in the knowledge that they’re it for each other, for the literal rest of time.

“Why?” Bunny asks, taking her turn in the inquisition.

“Why don’t we need it?” Adam asks. “We love each other. And we love you, and that’s enough.”

Kitty hums around her spaghetti. Liv shoves her sauce covered fingers into her mouth. Bunny hmphs, and says, “You should get married.”

Something flickers inside Adam, then. Not grace—this is different. Closer to what he felt in that diner, mere hours after they fled the tsunami of hell and neither he nor Michael were ready to admit the full truth of what they wanted from each other at the same time as they carefully confessed that they knew they’d figure it out together.

Michael meets his eyes, and Adam thinks he might feel it too: the red-hot flame, somehow gentle as a candle as it roars in an inferno.

Huh. Something to think about, then.

[purplemang0z]

Welcome to my shitty art blog!!

I'm Purple/Mango!

(I also go by Finn and Sage)

All Eyes On Rafah

Free Palestine 🇵🇸 🍉

About me!

I'm Pansexual and Nonbinary (possibly transmasc but I'm not sure yet)

Single! (I'll date between 14-16)

My two closest moots are @chaos-ace and @nightmaretherabbit 💖

I like to sing and draw

I want to become a character designer

I'm a Mitski stan

I'm also a Juggalo

I like pop rock/pop punk 🤘🤘

I'm a newbie DND player

I LOVE TURTLES 🐢🐢🐢🐢

Other Fandoms: Rick and Morty, Inside job, Bluey, Saiki K, Steven universe, Morel Orel, Sonic, Mario, ATSV, TADC, Hazbin Hotel (very critically), TF2, Bad Parenting, Amanda the adventurer, Smiling Friends, The Black Phone and Undertale

I'm an Agnostic Atheist I welcome all religions just don't try to convert me

I'm afro-Latino I don't speak Spanish tho >:/

Free Palestine!

Other blog(s) @askthedaddiceau

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Please check out these amazing people! ⏬

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+ anyone I forgot! 💖💖💖

[jumblekinz]

webkinz hosts as vines

I made this post in like 2017 but never posted it and I’m finally cleaning out my drafts... feel free to add on

Sheldon Turtle: It's summer! I got my hat on backwards and it's time to fuckin' party! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fuHwZKXPFY

Debbie Dragon: I literally got so much to do, I’m like freakin-! Calm down, relaxation. Chill out, stop screaming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew6VhePf0tA

PJ Collie: This is a fuckin’ crime, I’m looking so good right now, ain’t none of my friends invited me out but y’all gon see me today! Y’all gon see me! https://www.tumblr.com/vinesforall/135942776924/dicksplit-when-u-lookin-bomb-as-hell-and-aint?source=share

Arte Fact: LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbVEy4ki5yE

Persephone: This bitch called me ugly, I said ‘Bitch, where?’ she said ‘Under all that makeup’ I said... ‘Bitch, where??’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKBLmMB70DA

Mr. Moo: I GOT IT YES BITCHES!!!! CHOCOLATE VANILLA WITH COOKIE CRUNCH PLEASE  https://www.youtube.com/shorts/u2ExIOHzXO0

Ms. Birdy: hi, welcome to chili’s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs53JQTuEc0

Daisy Doe: Me and my omelet. *flips* :O!! https://www.youtube.com/shorts/myud91WNIHQ 

Chef Gazpacho: well fuck this. My dish is poptarts with a green onion garnish and ranch on the side. I’m just gonna… take this home. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vd4qIJZqqU8

Tabby von Meow: people say I can’t do what I love without college. I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spoObfZ63DU

Amanda Panda: when you wish upon a STAAAAAR... nothing happens https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zqR6FwWgQ90

Fred Rover: you GOT this Travis. Make em wait for it... BOOM. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8Pr-p8tCruw

Fiona Feathers: Oh yes wait a minute, Mr. Postman! Ayyyyy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9a_mUz4LCc

Alyssa Fairy: that one where the fairy toy flies into the fire https://www.youtube.com/shorts/q3nNwvmQ2MY

Nafaria: Y'ALL UGLY *vanishes* https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xECigynJEpw

[saveourskinship]

Thankathankathank youuuuu @akorah for the tag 🥰

Three Ships:

Dramione. Because kissing someone furiously while grumpily saying "You. It's you. It's always you but... Why does it have to be you" is my jam, bread, butter, marmalade and vegemite [marmite if you're heathen ie smutty]

Zutara. Because they make each other better. They move each other forward. Because fire. Because water. Because lightning. Because ice. Because scars. Because healing. Because because because.

Skam and Beadie. This is cheating because they are original characters I am writing. They are not even a couple but God help me am I the hell leaving space to write my own fanfiction about them. Maybe an HEA where they don't all die at the end. *shrugs*

First Ship:

In anything: Barbie and Action Man. Before I was even in school my sister and I would steal our brother's Action Man as Barbie's partner. Ken's job was Beach. Our Barbie needed a man with a plan.

In media: Sora/Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. I used to devour fanfic about them. Shout out to the one which sticks in my brain and introduced me to My Chemical Romance when Kairi got married to Squall because of something to do with Mickey being an little shitprick which I think was because of some soul signature nonsense? I can't remember and anyway Demolition Lovers was their wedding song and the bane of my mother's existence - Save's Emo Phase was born.

Last Song:

Girls Like You - The Naked and Famous (shit, this is actually a lie, but it's the last 'proper' song I listened to since I don't count the demo I'm making for my friend's satire girlpunk band she decided to create last night as a real song yet. It just has boop-boop-boops. Night Lunch can pull off songs with only doof-doofs and boom-booms. I cannot. So the demo won't be real until Sasha does the drums at least.)

Last Movie:

What A Girl Wants. Look. It's Amanda Bynes. I love Amanda Bynes. It is also Colin Firth and blue blood upper crust English vibes (done poorly, sure, but still). The last chapter of rose-petal compliments is needing all the help I can get it right now.

Currently Reading:

Harrow the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir

Lesbian necromancers in space. Need there be another reason?

Currently Watching:

Jujitsu Kaisen Season Two (Gojo, my love. I salivate, I wither, I breathe so much ecstasy I lack oxygen and die.)

Taskmaster NZ (rewatch. Like, no shade to my country or anything [said under the world's largest umbrella] but fuck we're shit.)

Last Thing I Wrote:

Like, as in finished? Because otherwise it would be this, right?

I wrote delivery instructions for a food order earlier today. Can't have done it very well because the driver still got confused and had to call me.

In terms of Things with Titles that are Complete™️, then an original folktale called.... fuck, what did I call it? I can't remember. It's about an unnamed protagonist and a boatman though. Still waiting on my rejection emails from the magazines I've submitted it to 😂

Currently Writing:

Let's skip over the arseholiness of me saying that I'm currently writing this again, shall we? (Let's not turtles-all-the-way-down my mentioning it either.)

Okay. Here we go:-

rose-petal compliments: dramione. Quiet luxury, Hermione is wealthy. Set in the Muggle world.

sacreligious inferences of a midnight paradise: dramione. Trope soup. Marriage law/fake dating/date or die. (Plus a bunch more tropes because why not?)

The Absolute and Total Defeat of One Draco Malfoy. Multi-ship. Crack. Crack from crest to cunt.

What's Owed When. Dramione. Unexpected Pregnancy. France. Delectomancy. Draco pines so hard he's basically a forest.

foil&fall. Tansy (Teddy Lupin/Pansy Parkinson). Fluff. Epistolary.

Untitled warfic. Dramione. My attempt at All Plot, No Vibes. Yes, you read that right. I'm trying to write something with NO VIBES ALL PLOT. (Draw a pentagram and sage for me, I bloody need it.)

The Environmental Suicide Club. Original YA speculative fiction. This is the one Skam and Beadie are from. Grief. Environmentalism. Nihilism. Set one generation in the future. Everyone dies at the end. A Fun, Very Good Time! Completely unmarketable! Wheeee!

Untitled socmed. Theomione. Writing this one with @they-call-me-megs A bunch of fun and one we return to when we're struggling for inspiration elsewhere.

Aster, the Star-Sailor. Original children's series. Sci-fi, pirate adventure. Came from writing the Tansy and I fell in love with it. Thanks, Pansy.

Fate and Free Will series. Urban fantasy six-book series. Currently undertaking a massive rework of the structure.

wander/wonder. A Luna Lovegood POV story Christmas visual novel. Story is written and am hoping I can finish the video in time for December.

There are a few more but these are the ones I work on a least a little bit every week.

Tagging @they-call-me-megs @thusatlas @paandreablack

[soltoes]

I posted 2,102 times in 2022

43 posts created (2%)

2,059 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@salamancussy

@americanhellkmart

@thatoneviolinist

@romanromulus

@sawtual

I tagged 1,857 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#bcs - 432 posts

#saw - 231 posts

#cats - 135 posts

#goals - 110 posts

#disco elysium - 93 posts

#horror - 87 posts

#refs - 84 posts

#pathologic - 83 posts

#succession - 71 posts

#music - 68 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#if you don't think this is cool don't fucking talk to me. the efficiency the improvisation the willingness to accept things that look stupid

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ignacio, meaning ‘born from the fire’

183 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#4

Sketches from this fic by @romanromulus . It has everything: lacho, really good jokes, flower picking as a metaphor for possessiveness, drug abuse, and most importantly the most compelling and off-putting romance of all time. Please read it it's excellent

187 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#3

if u touch me, well i just think i’ll scream

361 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

#2

mfw watching jeff play his games turtle speed

445 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

if i were in charge of the saw series, saw iv would've been a medical comedy drama like scrubs/house in which recently divorced surgeons lawrence gordon and lynn denlon navigate their careers while both also having little codependent chihuahua-esque twenty somethings living in their basements. twice a week lynn drives amanda over to lawrence's house so that she can play call of duty with adam on his xbox while lawrence and lynn drink an entire bottle of wine in the background 

626 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[misskattylashes]

Okay, so…..to add to my theory that all is not well in the state of Alex and Louise and their ‘cute’ TM relationship.

This is a collation of her posts from this year’s leg of The Car Tour (I hasten to add there were none at all last year for the South American leg, or the Australian leg this year.)

So we start with Tokyo (top left). Louise, subtle as a brick as usual, poses in Alex’s blue Lacoste top and a pair of oversized sunglasses with a caption saying she is going somewhere she has always wanted to go and the poster behind is a clue. It is a Japanese poster. Then once she was there, we had stories of her trip there, asking for recommendations of places to go.

Next comes Paris. On both days she posted her outfits of the day on her stories, along with photos of her and her dad, and the band performing on stage with the obligatory ‘Mon amour’. Then of course we get the post of her adventures at the Paris gig, along with the polaroid of her and Alex (conveniently posted on the day the internet went cray cray at the leaked picture of Milex at the Scott Walker gig)

London….well she really went to town with London. On the day after Miles posts himself on the Eurostar saying he was ‘coming home to you London’, and two turtle emojis, Pauline posts a picture of a hand hanging out of a car, saying she was getting the Eurostar treatment. We then get endless stories, one of which is her in the bath watching the film ‘Ice Cold in Alex’ (I shit you not), then her outfit of the day blah blah blah. Then of course we get the infamous post with the bed and her holding Alex’s jacket (one he stopped wearing a year ago – hardly the brown Celine Milex jacket)

But something weird happens with Glastonbury. She posted stories about going there. But she only posted one of her outfit, then…radio silence. Then we have Alex’s weird behaviour on stage with the Frank Sinatra song Don’t Worry About Me (about dumping someone) and the mystery of why Rosie, Miles’ manager was backstage with the Monkeys, and yet Miles never appeared.

Then Pauline posts her Glastonbury stories. No mention of Alex. All mentions of Alex restricted in the comments. The photos are all of her having fun with everyone except her ‘boyfriend’

Rome... We had no outfit of the day, just a photo of her at the gig taken by a fan. Then the next day she posts a professionally shot video of her running to side stage to watch the band. Shortly after that, we have a post about Rome with one minor mention of Alex in her caption. But no photo taken with him.

Then we have the ‘holiday’ snaps, when the world finally got to see that the ‘cute’ couple look awkward around each other, and that the whole shoot was prearranged with a paparazzi agency. Then of course, there is a picture of Alex coming home to London two days afterwards - even though Louise was still in Italy - and even more interesting, two days before the release of his buddy’s fifth album!!

So, we finally come to the US. Since the Monkeys went to the US, she went to stay with Amanda in LA. Then the week they were due to play New York, she flew to NY, making sure she takes pictures of herself doing stuff. Even though the Monkeys were in Canada. Then we get to the gigs last weekend. No stories from her. No outfit of the day. I didn’t even know she had gone to the gig until someone pointed out to me that one of her friends had posted a video of her there with Amanda (of course). She is dressed down, looking like a regular concert goer. Not a rock star’s girlfriend. She went to the infamous pool party but never posted about it. But the girl who did post it made it seem she spent most of the evening with her, chatting – despite her ‘boyfriend’ being there chatting to various ‘ladieeess’. Added to that the ‘distant’ pictures of them walking along, which claim to have been taken by every person in New York on that day.

I think we are being prepared for the breakup. If the theory is to be believed that she is a beard with a five year contract, well they were officially announced as a couple in mid September 2018, so the time is probably almost up.

I mean in all fairness it could just be that she has been told to stop making such a big deal of it because it looks like a publicity stunt (ahem) but there is also the fact that she is pretty much absent from social media. Except the other week when Miles was doing his gigs and posting a lot, we had a few posts from her with pretty pointless things.

So, I don’t know. Are they heading for a breakup and this is the publicity people’s way of preparing the fangirls for the worst? Or do they just have a really weird and distant relationship? One that involves interacting as little as possible?

[fasa-umich]

The Origin Story of Tendra || Kendra Le, FASA's 2023-2024 Co-Performance Chair

Hi! My name is Kendra but some of you may have met Tendra… Just FYI, those two are not the same. So, I would like to walk you through my journey being in FASA.

Chapter 1: Twin 1

I want to start by saying, I am not Filipino. I am Vietnamese. Going to UofM I didn’t really know what to expect or what to get involved in. It all started when freshman year I bumped into Ashley, who told me I should join FASA when I had brought up that I was from the Chicago area and did battle during high school. She mentioned that FASA went to Battle the previous year and was planning on taking a trip to UIUC for FACT, which I found really intriguing because many of my friends go there. She really gave me the rundown of how FASA worked and told me to sign up to be in a FAM/LIN and not even knowing what that might’ve meant for me, I trusted her and did it anyway. 

So… My first FASA “event” was actually an afterset at Ashley’s house where a handful of the other freshmen and I showed up for “anything but a cup” and of course… on time. Board was scrambling to set up still and I still remember that night very clearly and Amanda and Celeste showing up as animals hehe. 

At some point, people started mistaking me for Ashley and vice versa for some reason, and either you see the resemblance or you don’t. Regardless, she is still my twin.  But I want her to know  how much I appreciate her for all that she has done for me. 

Sorry Ashley for the rug!

Chapter 2: Twin 2

I pulled up to Halo Halloween with a group of friends dressed as Sanrio characters but little did I know my lineage was also Sanrio characters! 

Fast forward, now, here I am going to FACT with a group of people that I’ve never met before. I hop into the university van and the first thing Emily Paras says is “ I think you’re in my Lin”. Then Nate Tran says, “ I think you’re in my fam!”. Not knowing what any of that means I’m like “Oh, cool,”. This is where I’m sitting in the back seat with Jess and Adrian and they’re CODING. Anyway, we got there and Emily introduced me to Kris. She says “ This is your ate,” and that my lin twin, Sofia, wasn't able to make it because she was sick. Of course I had to stalk her but her following ratio was scary. I took this opportunity to find out more about performances and then joined PCN dances, which was one of the best decisions I’ve made. But also can we take a moment to acknowledge the fact that I won PUSO Merch through their giveaway?!

That night, we had a senior x freshman bonding session and during hot seat, I got asked which senior I was looking forward to getting to know and I said Kris because she’s my ate. 

So real quick shout out to Kris: Thank you Ate Kris for letting me, Sofia, and Jenny spend countless nights and hours at 815 talking about everything and anything. As your double ding, I have looked up to you in so many different ways and you have really made me feel comfortable in sharing whatever it is that I am going through. I can’t express how much of an inspiration you have been and I really hope that we will continue staying in touch. 

Shoutout to all the freshmen that I met here 🥹

Especially Eli who blew up the air mattress and woke up next to a cockroach!

Fast forward again, Kikilan was having their first lin hang at Slurping Turtle! This is where I met Sofia, so I guess we can call her Twin 2! I am going to skip over the lore but who would’ve thought that we would be bonding over being twins! I must say I love all my Kikilan girl bosses.

Chapter 3: Twin 3

Well now, I’m like “hmm, what if I became an intern?” 

I didn’t even apply l o l.

But this gave me the opportunity to get to know the other freshmen better. We had freshmen pre-games at Markley and more specifically Taryn’s dorm, and boy were they unforgettable memories that we created. 

Look at this one! 

Anyway who knew this Cali Boy would be the reason for the revival of Tendra…

Chapter 4: Throwback Tendra

So how did I end up in this position when I’m not even Filipino??? 

For some context, I am from Skokie, IL, the LARGEST village in the US. (Don’t ask me what that means). Going into high school, we had a huge Filipino student body and most of my friends since elementary school are Filipino. My sister and I both had good friends that were Filipino. Originally, I wasn’t too involved in my Filipino Club, Kapit Bayan because I was more focused on my other dance club. Until it was my sophomore year and all my friends had competed in Battle of the Bamboo and won third place, I was dragged to join and unfortunately during my year we did not win… But I must say it was a thrilling experience! From actually slicing my friend’s scalp to rolling off the 5 foot stage. (You can ask me about it after ) We were also one of, if not the biggest student organization. Right after, COVID hit. Then at the beginning of Junior year, I was asked by the current coordinators if I would be interested in helping coordinate battle with them. I was hesitant at first but then accepted anyway. I spent hours researching and story boarding and it was extremely hard during covid. However when senior year came along unfortunately I dropped out of being a coordinator. Still, I was very familiar with Filipino culture and always felt a sense of community.

Chapter 5: As(h)endra Arc

Back to the question of how did I even end up in this position? I received a message from Ash asking if I would be interested in running as his co because of my experience with Battle. Of course I was hesitant because I wasn’t sure if this was my place to step up in a leadership position especially since many times when I tell people I am in FASA, they always ask why I’m in it because I am not even Filipino. Many times this did make me feel weird about being so involved, but FASA itself has never made me feel like an outsider. I ended up running because I felt that Ash’s ambition to bring FASA back into Battle as a competitor was something that I could help bring to life. 

With both of us living being from Chicago or whatever, when summer hit, we spent hours and hours either just hanging out or working on FASA stuff. I must say, many of those hours were spent grinding Valorant… so @ FASA Hater we are coming for you this Rice Bowl. Even being in Chicago, we made the road trip back for Kalayaan and then Blondra became a thing!

Then when we got back to school, we were already sucked into the PCN grind. I just want to say that I am so proud of everyone who joined a performance even if it was their first time. Everyone truly grew so much and I hope everyone was able to get what they wanted to out of it. Everyone looked amazing on stage! Starting as a general member being on the outside of the circle to being the one saying the chant and starting the hype circle was such an amazing experience.

Then of course, Battle. We went through many battles with this. 17 hours of FASA for 5 weeks. How is that even real?! There were many times where Ash and I were really discouraged and worried about how our vision was gonna turn out. Many times where we were troubleshooting our story board, worrying about cultural accuracy, if we had the funds (*shoutout Andrew!!), and having enough people perform. It felt like a constant struggle with there being so many uncertainties going on and many times where neither of us wanted to do anything but we still pulled through. But even then, I felt confident that we would win. 

Again I would like to sincerely thank everyone who performed and helped us bring our vision to life. Thank you for your patience, and trusting us to lead you into Battle even when we were doing this for the first time, too. I really hope that you guys are proud of your accomplishments as much as I am proud of you all. 

But more importantly.

To Ash:

Hi. I know that we’ve gone through many ups and downs, but I’m glad that I was able to experience this with you. I would have to say that there were many times that I felt like we weren’t doing enough and it really stressed me out.  I know that I focused a lot on appreciating the general members, but I want to say that I acknowledge all the hard work that you have put into performance. Looking back at our year, we let our ambition drive us and it was a really fulfilling and full circle moment especially bringing home our well deserved trophy. I am really proud of us for being able to create FASA Pamana and bringing FASA back to Battle as a competitor. I am really happy with our results and thank you for bearing with me. I also had a lot of fun practicing for FASApalooza and I think our creativity really brought FASA performance to another level. I don’t know if I would’ve been able to grow this much if it were anyone else.  So once again, thank you for everything. It has been a pleasure working with you. 

Chapter 6: Back to Tendra

So, Tendra.. Tendra really started when Eli’s mom was guessing Taryn’s name before Kalayaan. Then for some reason, Philip Churchley says “It starts with a K and ends with Tendra,”. Now, Tendra has been revived! But also, for those of you who don’t know… people would mix me up with Taryn. This makes her Twin 4. In conclusion, I found my own little happy family within FASA. Papa Eli and his quadruplets: Tendra, Karyn, Pip, and Fifi. 

But lastly, my message to board as Kendra:

Dear Board,

Thank you for supporting me and Ash through our vision. I’m glad that I was able to start the Taho train. I appreciate all of you for all the hard work and dedication that you’ve put into making FASA a wonderful and welcoming community for me. I will forever cherish our memories together and wish you all the best in your future endeavors. And if you ever encountered Tendra, no you didn’t.

Tendra signing off.

[ziracona]

Entity took Amanda and not Kramer cus it knew Kramer sucked. At least Amanda has some cool as heck clothes

Lol. I do not like Mrs. Young, but u right, at least she doesn’t look like this:

[heckolve]

connor rk900 is ugly sorry i dont make the rules i dont want him

[xanthippe74]

Writing Bits & Bobs

Thank you so much for tagging me for this, @onbeinganangel! I love, love, love researching for fics and learning about new places and things. I spend a lot (A. Lot.) of time on google maps/street view, in particular, getting to know the setting for a story and seeing what it looks like "on the ground"—the view of Brooklyn from the Q train, the Yorkshire Dales in winter, a hedge-lined lane in rural Devon. Besides researching locales, here are some other interesting things I've learned:

🐍A Hiss to Build a Dream On: A bit about reptile care and breeding, specifically black-headed pythons (the breed Draco owns and asks Harry to "speak" to). How often do snakes need to eat? How long do box turtle eggs incubate? Are geckoes diurnal or nocturnal? Now I know!

🍑Vortex: Naturally-occurring cyanide in the pits of stone fruits. *cheeky wave to my FBI agent*; and Legal Aid for criminal defendants who can't afford their own legal representation. Both were tiny details in the story. Did I let that stop me from going down a few internet rabbit holes? No, I did not.

🥃Lockdown Lurgy: Barware for different kinds of drinks and which would most likely be used for Firewhisky. Snifter? Tumbler? Old fashioned? And then my britpicker said, "Um, just glass is fine."

🌼Follow the water: Native wildflowers of Devon and the language of flowers; pagan holidays and the story of the Oak King and the Holly King; geology of Dartmoor National Park (those tors are granite, baby!); and the history of standing stone circles. Also, in writing this story I finally learned exactly what Pimm's is!

🥧Crimson Neon: British comfort meals for Draco to cook (many of which are various combinations of meat and pie crusts, apparently); the menu of a specific Italian restaurant in Manhattan; how to travel from the Upper West Side to Brighton Beach on the subway and how long it would take. I'm proud to say I got good marks from a few New Yorkers in the comments, and some of them said the story was a bittersweet reminder of what the city was like before the pandemic.

☔On Your Shore: The weather in October in the Outer Hebrides (rain, rain, and more rain); the history of the Highland Clearances in the 19th century; and the fascinating story of one (rather ugly) house on a tiny island off North Uist that was abandoned after only 40 years and left to ruin. After researching for this fic, I determined that the Outer Hebrides is the place where I would run away to live in a heartbeat.

🌄The Last of What the World Left You: So much about traditional stone field barns ("cow'us" i.e. cow houses) in Upper Swaledale, Yorkshire for Harry's house; drystone wall construction; early-spring wildflowers; and, of course, all about carrion crows for Draco's Animagus form. I also discovered the author Amanda Owen (of Our Yorkshire Farm fame) in the course of my research, and I enjoyed reading her first book about living in such a wild and remote place.

🍔Safe As Houses: Anyone need a rec for a French bistro in Cologne, Germany? Hit me up. I've never been there myself, but it looks amazing. Special shoutout to @evaeleanor for helping me pick a location for Draco's medieval research and teaching me how to say "Get a room!" in German.