#just like the ones that assaulted my parents when I was a child and got me sent to the circle

[galpalaven]

who wants to see Nadia Surana, one of the heroes of the blight and definitely not an abomination, react to Aveline's refusal to investigate that rapist in her guard ranks at the end of Act 2

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

[skulldetergent]

ghost scar headcanons (CW for his backstory)

no tattoo/no text version & explanation under the cut

CW⚠️ discussion of child abuse, torture, self harm & sa

since i headcanon ghost to have quite a few scars, i decided to make a "character sheet" or "scar map" to keep my art more consistent.

in the drawing, the scars are already labeled and i think pretty self-explanatory, but i will go into some more detail and elaborate on my headcanons. again, please read the content warning. i did my best at trying to discuss the following in a sensitive way, but it may be upsetting to read nonetheless.

let's begin with the ones that say "mission". i imagined they are just random scars he sustained during his service over the years, like gunshot scars or knife slashes from close combat.

but others like "roba's hook", the autopsy scar, tally marks, the whip scars and his glasgow smile are from during the time where he was captured and tortured. i headcanon reboot ghost to have pretty much the same backstory as OG ghost, with some slight differences and additions of my own.

things like the glasgow smile or tally marks are made up by me, and others like the being hanged from his ribs actually happened (comics). ghost was also canonically sexually assaulted multiple times, which gave me the idea of said tally marks to emphasise how cruel his captors were.

correct me if i'm wrong, but in the comics ghost doesn't have any scars after being tortured, any cuts shown on his body just cease to exist a few panels later. but considering what he was put through, i do think that there would be permanent scarring.

now, it's also canon that ghost was abused by his father in ways like him bringing large animals such as snakes in his room to scare him, or having him watch a woman die from OD, which made me consider what the full extent of his terrible father's "parenting" must've looked like.

ghost has a small, almost faded scar under his eye, he was too young to remember how he got it, only finding out when his mother told him. his father was being neglectful when he was supposed to watch him, and simon injured himself while wandering around.

now, it is unclear in the comics if mr. riley's abuse was purely psychological, or if it extended to physical as well (again, correct me if i'm wrong). but i didn't find it unrealistic to have the latter be the case, which is why simon has cigarette burn scars on his neck and legs. his father found it amusing under the guise of "making him a man" and seeing how long little simon could take it before he would start crying. nowadays the burns are barely visible.

and lastly, the self harm scars covered up by the tattoo sleeve on his left arm. considering what simon had to go through at an early age, it is not unlikely that he might have resorted to SH as a teenager. and later, he got the tattoo as a reminder to himself that those days are his past and not his present.

i really read the comics and said:

[mint-mumbles]

I found the Wiki for this shit and decided to listen to the embedded audio file that demonstrates the pitch of The Mosquito (sounds like a supervillain name)

It took a full 5 minutes for me to recover from the four seconds I played of that 10 second file

that is fucking insane

[bones4thecats]

What Are They Like As Parents? - Hazbin Hotel

Type of Writing: Random Idea Characters: Vox, Valentino, Velvette, and Alastor Name: What Are They Like As Parents? Idea-Gifter: Random Thoughts

A/N: This is basically an AU where they married their S/O in real life and had a child with them back then. But, due to issues with birth, their S/O died with the child. So there will be trigger warnings when it comes to that. Also, the type of demon the reader is is listed below! Have a nice rest of your days/nights, my lil bubbles🫧

P.S: The Reader goes through birth, so they're headcanoned as female, but a gender is not fully noted

⚠️ Trigger Warnings: Death, Swearing, Miscarriage, and mentions of Assault ⚠️

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Technological-Demon! Reader ; Medical Technology

📺 Vox and you were very close when alive. Growing up together and eventually falling in love and marrying

📺 Sooner rather than later, you were expecting a baby boy, in which you two decided to name him (M/N). Unfortunately, due to difficulties during birth, Vox had lost not only his unborn child, but he lost his spouse

📺 Ever since that day, the man had driven himself further into his work, trying to push the memories of you both with your bump past him, he didn't want to remember how you smiled so gently at him as you died, or how the doctors tried saving you as blood erupted around your form

📺 It was because of how he held himself to such a low-degree that Vox had passed away, and due to his actions in life, he was banished to hell

📺 He believed he deserved it, but now he could start anew, and that was where he grew back into power and eventually met a fairly new Overlord, one that had your same name

📺 Once he asked you and learned that you and your son were transferred to hell, he grew upset, why on Earth were you, the sweetest being he had ever known sent to hell? And why was his son, who never did anything in life, get sent here?!

📺 Every other Overlord, besides Alastor, was on-edge when your small son crawled out from your hand, being nothing but small shocks before turning into a mixture of Vox and your's demon forms

📺 He just smiled lightly and kneeled in front of his child, patting him on the head and declaring how he'd protect you guys till the end of time, in no way was he going to allow you guys to slip from his grasp again

📺 Now, as your son was made into the form of a young child (4-6), Vox always tried to keep his anger on the down-low. He didn't want his son to only see his father angry and full of rage

📺 While he may seem like a horrible father at first, once he got used to the fact that your child was interested in your occupations, you being a medic of the Overlords and him being the head of VoxTek, he smirked at Valentino and Velvette before holding his child and gloating about his company

📺 Speaking of the other two Vees, they adore your child. Valentino loves to help your son with his social skills, and he tries keeping his business on the down-low around him, he doesn't need to get shocked or nearly have his wings amputated by Vox and you again

📺 Velvette on the other hand, she loves to test her outfits on your child, from helping him find the most suitable outfits to having him listen to something on her phone as she speaks to her two main allies during a meeting, she is honestly a decent aunt

📺 Vox also has a wild obsession with watching Alastor fail, so if he were to ever see the Radio Demon talking to you or his son, he'd lose his shit, not caring who was there to watch

" I swear to fuck, you old-timey shit-stain, if you ever try touching my S/O or my son again, I'll fucking kill you and drag your corpse all around hell for the all people to see. "

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Insect-Demon! Reader ; Rosy Maple Moth

❣️ Valentino and you married quite early in life and had a very active life

❣️ It was due to your shared actions that you found of you were pregnant quite early, which made him try calming down from his actions and begin to coddle you

❣️ Unfortunately for him, your body couldn't quite handle the stress of birth, resulting in your demise, along with your daughter. And due to this event, he was driven mad

❣️ This was where he developed his abusive personality, constantly yelling and assaulting his workers, including Angel Dust when he first arrived and signed a contract

❣️ It took a while, but one he had heard about a new Overlord that looked a lot like Valentino (in terms of species) with a daughter that looked nearly identical, he decided to attend the next meeting without his fellow Vees

❣️ It only took a quick glance for him to know exactly who you were, in life you loved to mess around with roses, so it only made sense that you'd become a demon in relation to that plant

❣️ Once the meeting ended, Valentino walked up behind you and hugged you, wrapping his larger wings around your form as he felt your tiny orange-yellow antenna tickle his chin

❣️ Valentino also loves his baby girl a lot, spoiling the young girl with everything she could ever want

❣️ Once you and her walked back into his life, everyone within his studio learned who you were quickly, you were the long-time spouse of Valentino's, and the father to his young daughter

❣️ They also took notice of how more collected he was, and while he did have his moments of anger, he rarely ever laid a hand on his employees, unless he got angry enough

❣️ Valentino also swore on his afterlife that he would never touch anyone in the ways that he would touch you or your daughter, which allowed your new friend, Angel Dust, to be more free with his time

❣️ Much like Vox, he doesn't seem like he'd be a good parent. And they're kinda right, but only with certain situations

❣️ Valentino doesn't know what to do when it comes to certain scenarios, like when your daughter asked where children came from and you had to wrap your pink and yellow wings around his mouth to silence him from giving a very detailed story of how she came into existence

❣️ Vox and Velvette are also fairly involved with helping him raise his child, Velvette loves to help her dress, from giving her small clips to put in her hair to giving her full-fledged outfits, she spoils her just as much as Valentino does

❣️ Vox also spoils her, but he also knows when to be strict, he mostly just watches her whenever Valentino and you get busy with running the studio in V Tower. He's been declared the 'Godfather'/'Uncle' of your baby

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Bird-Like-Demon! Reader ; Peacock

📳 Velvette and you agreed that you'd raise your child together, despite knowing that it wasn't her own, rather, it was your ex-husband's

📳 He had abandoned you with your unborn baby a few months prior to you and Velvette married, and it was on your honeymoon that you went into labor

📳 Sadly, you had lost the baby, and eventually lost your life due to internal injuries just a few months later, prompting your wife to go a hint overboard with her actions

📳 When she died, she never expected to see you sitting across from her at an Overlord meeting, your long tail feathers falling onto your lap where a small boy sat, playing with them

📳 She looked up in shock as you told her of your son, how you both were banished here, your son due to the fact that he had the potential to due just a horrid things as you, and that angered her

📳 Velvette loves to mess around with your feathers that laid behind your head, the ones that only flare up when upset or feeling any kind of strong emotion

📳 She also adores to have you carry her, since she was fairly short when it comes to sinners, and you were very tall when it came to the species

📳 Now, when it comes to your son, she loves to dress him up, acting as if he was a small mannequin that she needed to make look as gorgeous as possible, and thankfully he looks a lot like you, meaning if something looked good on you, it would no doubt look good on him as well

📳 If your ex-husband ever came by to take his son back, she would straight-up ruin his life, literally. She'd post everything around to make him lose his title, and if that didn't work, she'd just kill him, she doesn't care which he chooses

" I swear to you, (R/N). If you ever, ever, try to come here and demand to have the son that you abandoned in the first place, I will do two things. I'll ruin your fucking afterlife by stripping your title away, and I'll make sure during the next Extermination, you get a very long and fucking long death, try me, bitch-boy. "

📳 Velvette also is a fairly good step-mother to your son, she loves to give him small trinkets she finds around. One time she came home with a small present from the store, and when your son looked at the tiny necklace that opened to show holographic photos of you three together, you couldn't help but fall for her even more

📳 Much like with the other Vees, she does involve Valentino and Vox with her step-child's life

📳 On average, she has Valentino just help watch him, leaving Vox being the head of watching him, she doesn't need to have you on her ass about how Valentino took her son to the studio to observe his work

📳 Vox is the official 'Grandfather' of your son, while Valentino is more like the 'Funcle' of the two

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅��⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Mythical-Creature-Demon! Reader ; Wendigo

🔘 Alastor and you shared a lot in common during life, from your cannibalistic and murderous crimes, you both bonded over the fact that you were able to keep it all away from people's eyes, despite your high-ranks in society

🔘 He was the head of his own radio broadcast, while you were the head of a small orphanage that took in any child that was needing a home without any problems

🔘 Ever since Mimzy introduced the two of you and you learned of your situations, you decided to 'help' one another out, and by that, I mean by covering for one another

🔘 This teamwork led to you guys falling in love, in a twisted way that is. He loved you for how you would just casually keep a smile on, and you loved him because of his owl personality

🔘 While many didn't expect him to ever fall in love, due to him being a canonical aromantic, they did find it funny to watch him just smile and treat you like a member of royalty

🔘 He never really did find a need for intimate actions, but one drunken night and a lot of pregnancy tests later, you found of you were carrying his child, alerting him to keep you away from your previous crimes. He didn't need you or the child getting harmed

🔘 Alastor may not have shown it, but he was very heartbroken when the doctor released the news that you had lost your baby, and eventually your own life

🔘 Knowing due to your crimes that you'd end up in hell, Alastor would sit at your grave and speak of how he'd see you sometime soon

🔘 And he was right. He had found you once again during his first Overlord meeting, what he did not expect was seeing your young son sitting on your lap while gnawing on a small hunk of deer meat

🔘 He knew that this was your shared child, and he welcomed the youngling with open arms and a fully-fledged smile, his sharp teeth matching his son's

🔘 Speaking of your son, he loves to spend time with his father, learning how to play the piano and singing old songs with him as you stood off to the side with Husk and Niffty, watching the boys have fun

🔘 Alastor only allows you and your son to really touch him without many warnings, and while it took a lot to get used to, he loves watching him randomly grab his staff and try singing in the microphone

🔘 Much like his father, your son can use tentacles and use his powers to make his voice radio-sounding, and it is the funniest thing to watch members of the Hotel go nuts hearing so much of the noise

🔘 Due to being the son of the Radio Demon and the Wendigo Overlord, many don't even dare trying to touch your son, well, except for Vox and Lucifer

🔘 Vox one time had decided to try holding your son without permission, resulting in him being sent flying across the meeting room by your husband

🔘 And when Lucifer first arrived and began to tickle your son to make him laugh, he stood off to the side with his ears pushed backwards in irritation, watching his son smile by such a fatherly action not being made by him was annoying

🔘 And, because of your declaration, you named the members of the Hotel as your son's 'Godfathers'/'Godmothers', only having Husk and Niffty as the 'Siblings' of your son

[itsonlybaby]

˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝜗℘

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬

ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒smut﹒fluff﹒angst

﹒ ◠ list under cut ! ͘ ౨ ⸝⸝ most rec ꒰ twt links

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐲 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫

　birthday wish - ModernAU! Throwing a surprise birthday for Murphy, but what happens if the guest of honor is late for the party?

　mine - Murphy was always protective of you, so when he thought Jasper sparked an interest in you- he was quick to shut it down. 　the moon, the sun - When Titus died you set out in search of a new fleimkepa, only finding Murphy; a misunderstood roach. 　full of hate - You hated Murphy since you landed on the ground, you didn't expect him to awaken something in you.

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　useless - you feel useless to the people of Arkadia, maybe Bellamy could help with that. 　wooden deer - you met in the shop's area of Polis, you trading Bellamy a small wooden sculpture, which he kept. Thinking of you every day, every day for 2,026 days. 　divine - ever since the massacre of the grounder army he's been different, but you don't give up on him 　haircuts - bellamy noticed you have been losing sleep over your son, so he decided to help out. Only, he doesn't stop helping out.

　failed mission - Azgeda assassins are supposed to be stone-cold, and feel nothing, but what happens when a certain boy tries to gain your trust 　jealous meeting - bellamy calls a group meeting to decide certain defense plans and catch up with everyone, but his jealousy gets the best of him. 　longing dreams- you had a dream about your best friend Bellamy, and you try to suppress the feelings by avoiding him. Bellamy doesn't let this slide. 　flowers of you - when the second praimfaya hit you thought you were the last person on Earth, until the group came back down, landing in your valley. 　the wolf and the lamb - you stumble across a knocked-out person, doing the only thing you can do you save him; not knowing with that would lead to. 　pyramid - it wasn't uncommon for you to flirt with Bellamy, but it was unusual for him to flirt with you back. 　friends with benefits - you and Bellamy were friends, friends who often did each other favors.

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　whenever you want - you've been crushing on Monty for years now, and you decide it's time to give him a hint, which doesn't go as planned

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐉𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐞 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　  loading. . . 

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐨𝐚𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐭 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　sneaky memories - You got captured in Bardo, and while Levitt was sifting through your memories he came across a more private one.

ㅤㅤㅤ౨౿ ﹒𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 ㅤ

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨﹒

⸝⸝ incest ╰﹐siblings, parent/child, cousins

⸝⸝ pedophilia ╰﹐if the reader or character is a minor I won't do it

⸝⸝ inflation

⸝⸝ sexual assault ╰﹐this goes for cnc, and rape

⸝⸝ scat play ╰﹐piss, and shit

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨﹒

⸝⸝ safe age gap ╰﹐they are still of age, but there's a gap

⸝⸝ stalking ╰﹐not yandere stalking

⸝⸝ twt smut visuals ╰﹐twitter porn I think matches a character's vibe

⸝⸝ anything else you can think of ╰﹐if I don't like your request, I wont write it, but that's rare

ㅤㅤㅤ౨౿ ﹒𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞

　just call me baby.

　i am 19 years old, this is my main blog that I've now abandoned but cant delete > @saturdaykrualt

　my discord is 'itsjustbaby'

　im really passionate about creative arts, such as painting, writing, and music.

　i have to listen to music while writing, here's the playlist!

　and this is my main playlist

ㅤ ˖ㅤ ㅤ۫ ㅤ if you have any questions don't be scared to ask﹗✦

　

[lieslab]

And I'll never go home again

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 X gn reader

Summary: After an awful incident with your parent(s), you find yourself seeking safety within the guys.

Genre: Comfort/hurt with angst

Word Count: 4.6K

Trigger warning: Panic attack, mentions of insults from parents, brief mentions of assault, insecurities, self-hatred, depression, and anxiety.

A/N: This one is kinda sad. It was requested, but it's slightly changed to be more relatable to a general audience. Feel free to imagine another parent or legal guardian where I specifically have father and mother written. I tried to make some neutral, so more people could relate. If you have awful parents, I'm so sorry. I hope you'll be able to find some comfort in this one <3

_ _ _

Chan: 

He drove as fast as he could according to the speed limit. There was nothing more terrifying than hearing your broken sobs on the other end of the phone call. Your heart was taut with hurt and there was nowhere else to go. Nobody else to turn to. You didn’t trust anyone as much as you trusted Chan. 

Every word your mother threw at you was another dagger in your heart. They cut deep and they stuck harshly in your bleeding heart. In the beginning, you couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t get the words out. 

Your fingers shook as you dialed Chan’s number. You knew he was working late, but he always picked up for you. All you could do was suck in a deep breath and hope for the best. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you had a decent relationship with your mother. When was the last time you felt like her child and not some burden? Maybe your womb was rotten from the very beginning. The years flickered by, but your relationship had never been too solid. 

The insults she threw, the hatred she harbored, it was enough to destroy you every single day. Tonight was no different, but your week was rough. You reached your breaking point too easily. 

You tried to keep it all in, the self-hatred, the insecurities, the fear of abandonment, but it was too much to handle alone. That’s why in the middle of her screams, you called Chan. When he first picked up, all he could hear was your heavy and uneven breathing. 

The screams were faint in the background. He had no idea what they were saying, but he knew you lived with your mom. When he called your name with that soft sweet tone, you lost it entirely. Turning into a whimpering wreck of snot and self-pity. You wanted the warmth of a mother, not the monster she had turned into. 

“Chan,” you weakly whispered, “I-I can’t. I-” 

“What’s going on?” 

“M-My mom, she’s-” You were cut off by the insults again. Every negative word she could think of to describe you, she flung it your way. The thick wooden door was no match for the hatred oozing from your mother. 

“I’m coming to get you, okay? I’m coming. Just hang on and don’t hang up the phone. I’ll be right there, just hang on. Can you take a deep breath for me?” 

The lump in your throat made it nearly impossible, but you managed through the sudden congestion. You focused on the shuffling of his shoes on the floor. The sound of his keys jingling. The murmured curses as he hurried to get to you. 

“Just keep breathing for me, yeah? I’m coming to get you and I’ll keep you safe. Don’t hang up on me, alright? You’ve got this, I’m right here. Listen to my voice, you’re not alone.” 

The entire car ride to you, he reassured you that he was coming closer and closer. By the time he pulled up to the side of your house, your mother had left. She was gone, but the aching wounds left behind still lingered. She tore open your heart without a care in the world. Digging her nails into it, she squeezed the juice from it, your soul; all that was left was an empty sack of deflated goo. 

Not wanting to face her wrath again, you opted to sneak out the window. You grabbed your phone, keys, wallet, and stuck one leg over the ledge. You wasted no time sneaking out and shutting the window. Once freed, you rushed towards Chan’s car. 

He climbed out and his heart dropped. You were devastated in the moonlight. Puffy irritated eyes, wet cheeks, and a quivering bottom lip. He didn’t utter a word as he opened his arms out to you. 

You flew into them and wrapped your arms around him tightly. The warmth of his hand traced your back up and down. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you. I’ve got you and I’m never letting go.” 

_ _ _ 

Minho: 

He couldn’t hear you over the loud bangs. He thought he was imagining it in the beginning. He pressed a finger to his ear and his eyebrows furrowed. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! 

“What the hell is going on?” He asked with confusion. “What is that sou-” 

“Get your ass out here right fucking now!” 

His eyes widened in shock at the sound of a deep voice. “Where are you? What’s going on? Are you okay?” 

“Minho, he’s taking off my door. He’s trying to knock it down. I-I’m so scared. He won’t,” fear filled you as there was another loud knock, “stop.” 

“Who?” 

“My father.” 

The rage inside Minho flickered to life and was blinding. He knew what your father was like. You told him all the time and this time was no different. The anger went from orange to fiery red to an electric blue. There were no words to use to describe it other than a pure volcanic molten. It oozed up his arms, crept towards his heart, and followed the pumping blood to his brain. 

“I’m coming right now. Does your father keep the door unlocked this late?” 

“I don’t know. Why does that matter?” Your fingers curled around the phone until they were pale. You were quite literally shaking like a leaf. Every new bang, you assumed you’d be done for. The wood and brass lock wouldn’t keep him out forever.

“I’m coming to pay that bastard a visit, so if you hear me screaming, don’t be alarmed.” 

“Minho, I don’t think yo-” 

“Don’t tell me what to do. You’re in danger and if anything, this is self-defense.” He shoved open the door to the cafe he was in and started to rush in the direction of your apartment. “How’s your door holding up?” 

“It keeps shifting beneath the force of his pounds. I’m really scared and I’m freaking the fuck out.” 

“Does your closet have a lock on it?” 

“No, it’s just a sliding wooden door.” 

“Hide in your closet and buy yourself some time.” 

You shifted from your spot on your bed. It creaked and it sent your father into another burst of anger. A loud crack filled the air as a section of the door splintered. 

“Minho!” You cried out in fear. You rushed into your closet and shifted the door shut. 

“I’m coming up the stairs now. I’m coming, I’m coming.” 

“Be careful.” 

“Maybe your father should be more careful.” 

He knew the layout of your house pretty well. He wasted no time heading up the cement steps with his phone in one hand and a fist in the other. He jerked open the door grumbling and went into the direction of the kitchen. 

Loud bangs rattled the walls and vibrated along the floor. His teeth gritted knowing that you were struggling and terrified behind your bedroom door. He ducked down to a cupboard, grabbed a skillet, and stood back up. 

“I’ll be right there, give me a moment.” 

You stayed quiet as the door began to splinter more. Your father’s screams were reaching your ears easily. The safety that your room once provided had been broken. 

“Hey, fuckwad!” Minho called out angrily. When your father spun around with a bulging forehead vein, a red face, and wild eyes, he swung. 

The sound of the thump caused him to crumple to the floor. When he tried to get up, Minho whacked him again in the back of the head. “That’s for being a dickhead, you dickhead.” He called out your name and pulled the phone back up to his mouth. “You can come out now, he’s out cold.” 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem, now let’s go to that new cat cafe.” 

_ _ _ 

Changbin: 

“Do you know what time it is?” Changbin muttered with a sleepy-laced voice. In his bedroom, he was barely coherent with what was happening. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. 

The moment he heard his phone ring, it knocked him right out of his blissful sleep. On the other end of the line, you stayed quiet for a moment. Your lips pinched together and you shut your eyes as his sleepy voice continued to speak and call your name. 

“Are you even there? If this is a prank call at this hour, it’s so not funny. I have work in the morning and I-” 

“Do you ever sometimes think you were a mistake?” Your voice was hoarse as you spoke. 

“Huh?” 

“A mistake,” you repeated yourself. “Do you ever find yourself wondering why you were born or what your life purpose is?” 

He blinked a few times, waking up a little more, and yawned. “Why are you asking me this at two in the morning? What’s going on? Did something happen?” 

“My mom and I got into a huge fight earlier. She said she was tired of me and she called me worthless. It wasn’t enough though, so she began to tell me that I was a mistake.” 

“You’re not a mistake.” 

“I feel like a mistake,” your voice started to become hoarse. “I feel like every negative thing that anyone has ever said about me is true. I don’t understand why you choose to have me in your life and I-” 

“I choose to have you around because I care about you. You’re sweet, kind, and compassionate. You make me laugh when I’m feeling down and I know that you’ll do anything for me just as I’ll do anything for you.” 

A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed a few times. “Do you really mean it or are you just saying that out of pity?” 

“I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Do you remember that time when I was feeling sad, so you treated me to dinner? How about that time when I couldn’t get that one song right. You pulled me away and sucked away the cycle of static that I was going through. When I came back, I finished the song without a problem.” 

“Why are parents so mean sometimes?” You weakly uttered. 

“Parenting is hard and sometimes parents don’t understand what they’re saying. Some will say whatever it takes to hurt you because they want you to feel as shitty as they do. It’s not for everyone, but you deserve a good mother.” 

“You’re one of the best people I know,” he continued. “I wouldn’t be who I am today without your help. You’ve helped me grow and change in ways that you wouldn’t understand. You’ve helped ignite my passions and kept me alive. Your mom has no idea what she’s talking about. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Close your eyes and let me talk. I’m gonna tell you a bedtime story, so you can have some good dreams. Don’t let your mother’s words get into your head. You’re so strong and I’m proud of you. You’ll never be worthless as long as you stay true to yourself. 

_ _ _ 

Hyunjin: 

Another long day had been spent in the recording booth at the JYP building. On a mission to unwind before nightfall, Hyunjin had his headphones in his ears and listened to the new playlist he created last week. 

The sun was setting and slathered the sky in blush pinks, soft blues, and ethereal hues of purple. It was one of his favorite parts of the day. To calm down and take it all in, to suck in this small sweetness; if nothing else was going right, at least, he had this. The sky, the scent of cherry blossoms, the curling leaves, the chill from snowflakes. The little things that added up and made life worth it. 

He was taking a second lap around town when his phone began to buzz and the soft melody was cut off. He jerked his phone out of his pocket and upon seeing your contact name, he swiped and spoke. “Well, hello there.” 

“Hyunjin?” You barely got his name out before your voice wobbled. Small thumps and shifting could be heard behind you. 

“What’s up?” 

“What are you doing right now?” 

“I’m just out and about. I’m walking around town and enjoying the sunset.” His foot went out and he kicked a stray pebble. It rolled down the sidewalk and came to a stop near a business. He reached out a foot and kicked it again. 

“Oh.” 

“Oh? That doesn’t sound too good. What’s up and what’s wrong?” 

“It’s been a really long day,” you uttered. “Besides that, I’m packing.” 

“Are you going on vacation?” 

“My dad is kicking me out.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me. My dad is kicking me out. I’ve been too fed up with him and his attitude. He’s had too much of me. Tonight we bucked heads and he snapped. He told me to get my shit and get out, so I’m packing.” 

He stopped in his tracks and clenched pale fingers around the phone tighter, “but you have nowhere else.” 

“I was going to call and ask if you could drop me off at a motel. I have some money and I-” 

“Stay with me.” 

“You know I can’t burden you like that. You live with Cha-” 

“He doesn’t care and neither do I. Come live with me. Come live with me until you find your own place. You know how much you mean to me. My problems are yours and yours are mine.” 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You shut your eyes on the other end of the phone. A huge weight lifted off your shoulders. You should have known he would have offered, but you still felt like a burden. 

“Only about a few thousand times. Live with me and I’d like to get that number up to the millions. You know I love people who love me.”

The teasing in his tone caused a smile to pull at the corners of your mouth. Warm tears slipped beneath your eyelids and coated your cheeks. You wiped them away with a sleeve and sniffle. “I’ll be waiting for you.” 

“No worries, I’m coming, just hang tight.” 

_ _ _

Han: 

“Hello, hello, hello. Guess who!” 

“I have your number saved, idiot,” you mumbled. 

“And here I thought you’d be excited to talk to me.” 

“I can’t talk for long.” 

“Why?” 

“I’m on a plane.” 

The red grape dropped from Han’s hand, bounced along the table, and rolled onto the floor across the way. His jaw dropped and he glanced at the clock. It was almost ten in the evening, way too late for a normal flight to take place. You were always a morning person and hated staying up late. 

“What do you mean? Why are you on a plane? For what? Why? What’s going on? You’ve never mentioned a trip.” 

You shifted and slumped down in your seat. The spot next to you was empty and you were grateful for it. “It was an impulsive decision. I just needed to get out of my house and clear my head. I booked a flight across the country and I don’t know. I just needed time to think, I guess.” 

“Is this about your parents?” 

“What do you think?” You mumbled. “I’m really at my breaking point and I don’t know what to do. I just needed to be somewhere that wasn’t so suffocating. No screaming, no verbal abuse, no walking on eggshells. I need the beach, the scent of salt, and the waves lapping at my feet.” 

“You deserve a lot better. I won’t take up too much of your time. I know you must be full of a lot of overwhelming thoughts, but please don’t shut me out of your life.” 

“I’m not shutting you out.” 

“I’m one of the closest people to you and I never would have known you’re skipping town if I hadn’t called you.” 

You shut your eyes and swallowed the lump in your throat. You were good at this. You were good at shutting people out because it was easier that way. It was easier to slam the closet doors shut instead of being open and addressing the species of demons that sat collecting dust on the shelves. Every so often, they wormed their way out and began to crawl around. 

Self-hatred, insecurities, comparison, and the words thrown like a bucket of ice water from your parents. You were a wreck and you were about to crash. This impulsive trip was just more proof of that. 

“What if one day you realize who I really am?” You whispered into the phone. Your head shifted and leaned up against the open window panel. You glanced down to find a staff member in a neon yellow vest heading towards the front of the plane. “What if you realize I’m a monster like my parents have?” 

“You’re far from a monster. A monster wouldn’t offer to pay for my coffee. They wouldn’t let me ramble about my worst days. A monster wouldn’t hold me after I cried buckets of tears over a reality TV show. There’s nothing wrong with who you are and I love who you are.” 

A faint voice entered his ear as a lady came over the intercom. You glanced up to see a flight attendant begin to announce the instructions for the flight. “I’ve gotta go.” 

“You’ll come back after this, right? You won’t just leave me here? You won’t disappear into the abyss forever?”

“For you, I won’t disappear. I’ll come back and let you cry all over that stupid romance show again. I’ll hold your hand while we go for walks. I’ll let you show me your favorite anime.” 

“I’m holding you to that.” 

“I promise.” 

_ _ _

Felix: 

The world was a little blurry as you stepped upright to the white door. You reached out and knocked a few times. Exhaustion hung heavy from your limbs and caused your head to droop to your chin. Like a lost puppy dog, you had nowhere else to go. 

There was a click of the lock and the door was pulled open. When you glance up, your single working eye found Felix. Relief floated through you and you felt like you could finally breathe. 

“What the hell happened to your eye?” 

You had been nursing the black eye since the early hours of the morning. A fight with your step-parent had gone out of control. You snapped at something they said and then they swung. You didn’t have time to step back as their pointed knuckles caught your eye socket. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Can I just come in? I really don’t want to be alone right now.” 

Felix opened the door wider and let you come inside at your own pace. Worry was sewn into his furrowed brows. He scanned your face, trying to figure out how he could help you. A purple bag sat beneath your other eye, you looked rough. 

His hands approached your shoulders and he gently led you over to the couch before pushing you down onto the cushions. “Was it the step-parent?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“They’re such an asshole. I’m going to go get some ice for you. Just stay there and don’t think about leaving the couch. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.” 

When he came back with a small ice pack he frowned at you. Your head laid against the side of the couch and you seemed as if you wanted to cry. No tears came out of the swollen eye. Beaten purples, puffy brown, and a tinge of cold blue encapsulated your eye. Your eyelid was so swollen that it had been pressed shut. You were only seeing the world around you with one eye. 

As carefully as he could, he eased himself down beside you, gently touched your shoulder, and tugged you towards him. You shifted and let yourself be pulled onto his lap. He slowly pressed the ice against your eye and your other eye instinctively shut as you winced at first. 

“You’re sure you don’t want to discuss it?” 

“It was a really bad fight.” 

“I can see that.” 

“Do you think I’m insufferable?” 

“Never. No matter what was said, you’re not who they claim you are. You’re one of the best people out there and I adore you with every fiber of my being. Just sit here and let me take care of you. Let me hold you for a while, okay? Let my body heat remind you that you’re not alone.” 

“I think I’m going to cry.” 

“Cry all you want. I’ll be right here if you want to get it off your chest. Go ahead and let it out, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” 

_ _ _

Seungmin: 

“You are the most worthless and inconsiderate person I’ve ever met! You are nothing, but a brat! A stupid and unloving brat! A selfish cunt! I wish I would have never given birth to you! If I could take it back, I would. Nine months utterly wasted. I wish you would have died instead of popping out of the womb!” 

In the hallway, Seungmin froze at the screaming. The door to your shared bedroom was closed and faint sniffles could be heard. What the hell was going on? He stepped forward to check on you.” 

“Stop ignoring me, you bitch. I know you’re receiving all my phone calls. You can ignore me all you want, but you’re rotten on the inside. I hope you listen to these voicemails and I hope you kill yourself. Do yourself a favor to this entire family and-” 

He rushed forward to the door and shoved it open. When he spotted you, you were laying on the perfectly neat bed. Your phone was on your chest face down. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you listened to the voicemails. You were so preoccupied that you didn’t even realize Seungmin had entered the room. 

“Who is that?” He suddenly called out to you. 

Your head snapped over and you clicked your phone off. “Nobody,” you muttered and wiped at the tears on your cheeks. 

“Don’t lie to me, who is that?” 

“A pissed off parent.” 

“Why the hell are they talking to you like that?” 

“They hate me.” 

“And I hate them.” His hand stretched out toward your phone. You didn’t fight it as he pulled it from your grip. He entered your passcode and went directly to your voicemail box. “Oh my god, how many of these have they sent?” 

“Twelve.” 

“And you’ve listened to them all?” 

“Repeatedly. Good to know that my brain isn’t the only one that hates me, huh?” You weakly smiled and a defeated laugh fell from your chest. Your arms remained limp above your head. 

You had submerged your brain in the voicemails. For the past half-hour you had been relistening to them over and over and over again. Forcing yourself to continuously endure the hatred shooting from their mouth. 

One-by-one, he deleted every single voicemail. When he was finished, he went into your call log and blocked the number. “You’re not listening to that bullshit anymore.” 

“Too late for that.” 

He shoved your phone on the side table, crawled into the bed beside you, and curled up next to you. “I’m not going to let you believe that bullshit.” 

“I thought you hated me too.” 

“Teasing is different from verbally harassing someone so much that they start to get depressed.” He wiggled closer, shoved his arms around you, and pulled you tight against him. “I think I should do this more often.” 

“You don’t like cuddles.” 

“Yeah, I do. I just can’t tell you that because you’ll take advantage of it. You just lay there and look pretty and let me do the cuddling and the talking. Where should I start? Your nose? Your eyes? Oh, how about your hair!” 

“They’re too big, the color of shit, and greasy.” 

“Shut up and let me compliment you. You don’t see yourself like I see you. If you interrupt me, I’m gonna tickle you.” 

“Do not!” 

His fingers shot out against the sides of your ribs. You squirmed, but couldn’t fight the smile that crept upon your face. “Stop! Stop!” His fingers lightly danced along your skin as your laughter bubbled up and brightened up the room. 

It was the best sound he ever heard in his life. 

_ _ _

Jeongin: 

It had happened so fast, it nearly gave him whiplash. One moment the two of you were sprawled out on the couch and watching a new show. You were both laughing and making silly commentary. The lightheartedness was something he cherished. 

He got up for a few minutes to use the bathroom. The tacos from lunch had left his bowels in turmoil. You insisted that he needed to try refried beans in his taco. He only had two, but it was enough that he had been running to the bathroom off and on for the past few hours. He swore he’d never do it again. 

He was expecting to come back to you teasing him. Sure, it’d leave him mortified, but he’d throw it back in your face. He’d blame you since you recommended that he’d consume them. The two of you would continue teasing each other until you broke into a fit of giggles. 

What he hadn’t expected was the tears in your eyes as you sniffled on the couch. Your phone was pressed against your ear and your bottom lip was quivering. The sight was so alarming that he rushed towards you, worried that some kind of emergency had happened. 

“Baby?” He called out softly. 

You didn’t respond, but that’s when he heard the yelling pressed against your ear. Your mother’s voice was so loud that he could hear it when he got closer. He pulled the phone away, but it was far too late to take back the horror that you had heard. 

He quickly ended the call and dropped your phone on the couch cushion before he dropped down beside you. His eyes scanned your face as he tried to find some sort of understanding, but nothing was making sense. 

What happened? What was going on? Why had your mother yelled at you like that? 

You struggled to keep it together and soon you burst. A whimper fell from your throat, his hand found your thigh, and that’s when you broke down sobbing. Through tears you sputtered about the rocky relationship with your mom. 

You talked about how awful it was, how much it hurt you, and how much you hated it. The name calling, how she blamed you for every wrongdoing in her life, she blamed everything on you. You were her kid, but had never been treated like it. If anything you were more of a hindrance to her life somehow. 

You collapsed in his arms and he pulled you against him tightly. “Please don’t cry, you know how much I hate it when you cry. I can’t handle it, baby. You’re going to make me cry.” 

“I-I’m sorry.” 

He squeezed his arms around you tighter and gently rubbed your back more and more. He uttered affirmations and reassured you that your mother was in the wrong. No mother should ever treat her kid, no matter how old, the way she had treated you. 

By the time he finished, your head was propped on his shoulder. Soft hiccups jolted your body every few moments. His hand continued to rub reassurance into your back. The other hand was along the back of your head. 

Maybe if he pressed you into him long enough, you’d be able to understand just how much he loved you. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

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[ssa-atlas-alvez]

What about something to do with reader previously fighting back against/killing an abusive parent and a case comes up with the bau which brings it all to life..?

Hiya, hope this is okay! I didn't go into too many sad emotions lol, but hopefully this is okay :)

Description: reader gets dragged back to his hometome, but reunites with his younger brother.

Warnings: child abuse, abuse, murder, alcohol mentions, assault, previous arrests, custody battles, death of a parent

“This week’s case my fine furry friends, you are all heading to Oregon. The homeland of the one and only (Y/N).” Penelope said, pointing the bippy at you. You give a small smile, not having the heart to tell her you were hoping to keep that particular cat in the bag. “So this unsub is targeting unsavory individuals, first, this man. Robert Davis, 42, father of three. Total slime ball, an abusive drunk who is particularly fond of driving under the influence.”

You all looked at the photos now on the board. “Now, up next, same thing. Derek Harris. Father, this time 53, abusive, drinks on occasion.”

“Okay, so he’s got a type.”

“How long between victims?”

“Only four days.”

“How long does he keep them alive?”

“Only a few hours, before he dumps them on the door of their house.”

“He dumps the bodies at their house?” You asked, frowning.

“Why?”

“It’s like a gift.” You theorised, “I know what he was doing so I took revenge for you.”

“Some gift.” Prentiss said, turning back to the file.

Not long after, you were all on the jet on your way to Oregon. The briefing didn’t take long, just a few rough ideas exchanged and Morgan asking if you were excited to go home, you were not. 

“Hotchner.” Hotch answered the phone before the end of the second ring. “You’re sure? Okay. We’ll make sure to send some agents there when we land. It’s alright, I’ll let him know. Thank you.” And with that, Hotch hung up again.

The air was a little tense, to say the least. “Another body turned up?” Rossi asked. Hotch just gave a nod.

“Already?” Reid’s eyebrows furrowed. You watched your boss closely for a few seconds.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Is all you ask.

“Yes.” Is his response. “The ME just identified him.”

“Who found him?”

“(Y/N)…”

“Hotch, who found him?”

“Your brother.”

You sighed, looking away. “He okay?”

“He’s alright. Paramedics checked him over, he’s at the station waiting for us to land.”

You give a small nod. “He’s okay?”

“He’s okay.” Hotch said, voice a little more gentle now. The team watched you cautiously, all concerned.

“Who was the latest victim?” Reid asked, frowning slightly.

“Er, Lee (L/N).”

“(L/N)?” Morgan asked, turning to face you.

“My dad.” You gave a small nod. 

“Which means we’re going to have to dive into your life,” Hotch explained, his face was his usual stern expression, but you could see the understanding in his eyes.

“I know.” You gave a small sigh. “I was arrested for assault when I was eighteen - I just broke his nose. No charges were pressed or anything.”

“What happened?” JJ asked.

“Er, I saw him hit my brother.” You gave a small nod. “And he didn’t press charges on the condition I moved out. So, I moved out. I tried fighting for custody but with that arrest, the courts weren’t having it.”

“They wouldn’t let you have custody?”

“Nope, not even with our medical records.” You gave an awkward shrug, “I tried multiple times, Declan ended up in the hospital once or twice. I lived in a small town, and everyone just… turned a blind eye to it.”

“That’s horrible…” JJ said. “They turned a blind eye? Just like that?”

“Yep. And then after the second custody battle and I was doing a food shop and I saw my dad hit Declan again. That time, I landed my dad in hospital.”

You were silent for the rest of the ride, preferring to sit inside your own head than interact with the outside world.

As soon as the jet landed, you, Spencer, and Hotch headed to the police station, the others dividing themselves between the different crime scenes. You follow the secretary’s vague motion to a room at the back of the station. It takes you thirty seconds after to realise she was in your grade in school. You purposefully ignored that and gave the door a light knock before opening the door. 

“Declan…” You had prepared for the worst. You were expecting him to hate you, you had left the day you turned eighteen. Granted, it wasn’t exactly a voluntary leave, but you still left.

“(Y/N),” Declan looks up, smiling a little when he sees you. His eyes are bloodshot.

“Hey.” You said softly, "How are you feeling?"

Declan gives a small shrug and you give a quiet sigh, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Come here," You said, opening your arms. He stares at you for a moment before letting himself lean against you.

You wait until you've both calmed down before speaking again. “We need to talk, kid…”

“I know.” Declan gave a small tight lipped smile. You sit down next to him, sighing slightly as you did. “They don’t think you’re involved, do they?”

“Nah, I’ve got an alibi I cleared with my boss.”

Declan nods, “Good. So I’m assuming your team know?”

“Yep.” You sighed, turning to face him. “Look, Declan-”

“You don’t need to apologise.”

“Yes, I do. I left.”

The teen rolled his eyes, “You’re actually thick. You didn’t leave, dad basically kicked you out.”

“I should have fought to stay.” You argued.

“Yeah, and he would have killed you.” He said. “Besides, I was fine.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah. Most of the time dad was too caught up in his drinking to care.” Declan gave a small shrug. “So… what’s going to happen to me?”

“Well, if you want, I’ve got a spare room that I could let you have. I suppose.” You said, a small smile tugging at your lips. 

“Yeah, I guess. If I had too.” Declan grinned slightly. 

“Sounds good.” You gave a nod, “We can sort everything else out later. And, if you want - since our house is sort of a crime scene, you can bunk in my hotel room.”

“Perfect, free hotel room.” Declan smirked.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “I gotta go talk to my team, you okay in here?”

“Yes, old man. I’m fine.” 

You placed a hand on your chest dramatically as you left. 

“Everything okay?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah. I think so.” You said, giving your boss a small smile. “As well as it can be right now, anyway.”

“He seems resilient.”

“He is.” You gave a small nod. “You don’t mind if I stay for a while after the case to sort everything up here out, do you?”

Hotch shook his head, “Not at all. Take all the time you need.”

[thebiggerbear]

"You're safe now. I'm here." - Russell Shaw Prompt Response Part 1

Summary: You've been taken hostage and Russell is part of the unit sent in to retrieve you.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

A/N: This is a prompt from @sydnee-kom-spacekru that I had to turn into a two-parter because it got way too long for just one posting. I've been working on this since May 19th when I decided to add Russell to the multi-character prompt response project I'm currently working on.

For this story, I chose Colombia as the country featured in here because I remember when we were growing up, we would ask our parents why we couldn't visit our cousins from there, and we were told it was too dangerous. As we grew older, we obviously found out why. That's the only reason I chose it for that part of the story. Obviously, I'm not making any statements, political or otherwise, about Colombia or any past/present situation happening there.

A tiny disclaimer: I do not work in the medical field so I apologize for any inconsistencies, exaggerations, or complete fallacies. I did my best to research but ultimately, I'm not trained in that industry. I also am not in the military, political, or governmental fields. I also am not the CEO of a major corporation. I utilized those parts of the story strictly for fictional purposes. So I apologize in advance again if I get anything incorrect for those fields.

All unbeta'd.

Part 2

Warnings: graphic violence; attempted sexual assault; trauma; graphic blood/injury; gun violence/gunfire; mentions of dead bodies; death; mentions of execution; kidnapping/hostage situation; PTSD; angst

Word Count: 11k+

You can also read on AO3

“You’re safe now, I’m here.”

Soldier Boy version ✨ SDV Leah version

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

You slowly glanced around the room you were being held in. You winced when the pain in your head started up again from the movement. You knew you had some cuts on your face, your lip, and one near your hairline. One of the people who had taken you and your co-workers hostage had shouted at you in Spanish and worked you over a little. You understood most of what he had screamed but you had no answers for him. 

You and your team had come down to visit the Bogota office upon the insistence of your father. The company his grandfather had started decades prior had expanded to become one of the top corporations in the United States, eventually branching out internationally. Growing up, you hadn’t wanted for anything. As you got older and entered high school, your father made it clear to you, being his only child, that he wanted you to follow in his footsteps and take over the family business one day. It wasn’t exactly what you’d dreamed of but it had been made known from the outset that whatever you might want would never matter in the scheme of things. Not when it came to the importance of legacy and carrying on the family name and the company’s brand, all while working closely with the Board. So, you had pursued your business degree in college at an Ivy League school, even going so far as to achieve your MBA and make your father proud.

You were quickly welcomed into the company and you put your nose to the grindstone, worked hard, and began to climb the corporate ladder. A lot of people knew that had to do with your last name but they also saw you working the same long hours as them, working just as much, and sacrificing any semblance of a personal life you could have had. You didn’t even have plants in your lavish city apartment because you were practically never there to water them. Weekends were a concept that ceased to exist the moment you left the university. If your co-workers worked 60-hour work weeks, you worked 80. If they worked through holidays like Memorial Day and July 4th, you worked those days, too, in addition to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. So you earned some respect, some envy, and some resentment — a healthy mix of it all as you raced to the top at your father’s constant prodding. 

Only a year ago, you’d moved to Manhattan to run the New York office, a promotion that had your father beaming with pride. It was a bit of a transition, as any transition would be, but ultimately, you got to know your team, your department heads, and you’d settled in as best you could. You never truly relaxed into your role but you let your employees know up front that you were there to make things easier, not more difficult. You were interested in flooding the figurative harbor so everyone’s boats would rise, not just yours or the Board’s. Your father had not appreciated that little introductory speech you had made but you couldn’t find it in yourself to regret it. You had meant every word and you set out every single day to not only prove yourself but to also make that vision come true. 

Which was partially what had brought you to the Bogota office. While you were responsible for New York, your father had made the valid point that you should travel to the international offices of Bogota, London, and Beijing. You should show your face and introduce yourself in person, not just on Zoom. You had been hesitant, not because you didn’t want to visit the sites and meet the crews, but because you still didn’t feel confident that you could afford to be away from your home office for that long (it would be about a two and a half week trip). Not because you didn’t trust your team to run things without you but because you had several projects in the works that required your constant participation, feedback, approval, and sometimes guidance. It felt strange to put it all at risk by choosing the most inopportune moment for you to go shake hands on the international stage and take tours of the other facilities. You didn’t want to leave your team in a lurch at a dire time such as this one. You had tried to explain all of this to your father when he grew irritated at your resistance.

“Stop with the excuses. You’re going and that’s final,” he had snapped at you before leaving your office. And that had been that. 

The next morning, you and a few selected co-workers (handpicked by your father) were on a flight to Bogota, the first stop on your international tour. Thankfully, Colombia was only one hour behind New York so you’d be able to check in with your office as soon as you landed. 

Things were going well with your visit, right up until the moment you and your team were leaving the building to head back to the hotel for a late lunch when you were ambushed. A black hood had been thrown over your head, you’d felt pain as something hit you from the side, and the next thing you knew, you woke up in a vehicle that you could feel and hear but not see. You had no idea what happened until you were instructed in Spanish to shut up, stay quiet and not struggle, and you wouldn’t get hurt. You knew you were in trouble when you came to but now you knew without a doubt as you listened to the conversation between the men surrounding you, you had been taken hostage.

You had no idea where they had brought you but you’d been there for what felt like a month though you couldn’t be sure. You had been held in the same room, only able to use the bathroom which they escorted you to. You were in some compound and any time you’d tried to sneak a peek out of an open window during your bathroom treks, you either got yelled at and hit or you could only make out a thick cover of trees. You and your group had been terrified every single day of your captivity that they would kill you all, or worse. You had three men in your group and four women including you. One of the kidnappers had already tried to take advantage of that fact and had thrown Meredith from Finance onto the floor, unbuckling his pants. You had begged in Spanish for her to be left alone while Pat and Suzanne had cried and screamed. Tim, Jerry, and Rob had all been taken to the bathroom beforehand (something that hadn’t happened before, they usually took the guys one at a time) so it had been just you four in the room. When the man didn’t show any signs of stopping and Meredith tearfully begged him from the floor to let her be, something switched off in your brain and you flew at him. You attempted to hit him anywhere you could but he knocked you down flat in seconds. He backhanded you a couple of times, making the women in the background scream louder, and he then decided you were going to be the one he was going to assault instead. He ripped your shirt and you tried to fight him off but he was too strong. Thankfully, another kidnapper heard all of the commotion and came running, rushing into the room and stopping the man, yelling at him that none of you were to be touched, that was part of the deal. Your would-be assailant yelled back at the man who had saved you and then got to his feet, spitting on you, as he stormed out of the room, followed by your unintentional savior. 

You attempted to cover yourself with the shreds of your shirt but it was useless. You now only had a bra and little bits of cloth left from how violently he had torn the fabric. You were shaking but somehow you were able to crawl your way over to Meredith to check on her. Sobbing, she held onto you and before you knew it, Pat and Suzanne had rushed over, throwing their arms around you both, still crying themselves but also trying to speak reassurances to you both. Your body shook in their embrace as it finally hit you how close you had come to being assaulted. If that other man hadn’t interrupted when he did… You shuddered at the thought. It wasn’t long after that when Tim, Jerry, and Rob were returned to the room, their hoods removed, and one glance in your direction let them know immediately what had happened. Rob had actually removed his shirt and offered it to you, apologizing for the smell. You appreciated his selfless gesture but you were thankful when Tim instead offered up the windbreaker pullover he had been wearing the day you had been taken. You took the latter, thanking them both for their generosity and thoughtfulness. Tim at least still had his t-shirt.

Then, a couple of days later, you had been dragged from the room, thrust into a chair, and tied up. The questioning began, about the money from your company among other things, and you were worked over when they didn’t get the answers they wanted. You hadn’t noticed a man holding a smartphone while sitting in the corner, taking in every second of the torture you endured, until your interrogation ended. You had been afraid but seeing that phone…you were absolutely terrified. Were they going to kill you on video, sending it off to media outlets to share globally for your father to see? Or would they use social media?

They didn’t end up killing you, though. Instead, they brought you to a room with a single bed that you had never seen before. You did not like the fact that you had been separated from your group. You began to hyperventilate at the realization that they were isolating you for a purpose, thinking you would be attacked again, especially when you heard a loud gunshot reverberate from outside followed by yelling that you couldn’t quite make out. But instead of anyone coming to hurt you, they sent in a doctor to tend to your wounds. Once he had, you curled up into a ball and hugged your knees to your chest, waiting for the worst to happen, intent on fighting tooth and nail when the time came. But a few days later or however long it had been, they brought you back into the interrogation room again. 

You expected the blows this time though they still hurt horribly. They began to cut you on your arms, near your neck, your shoulders, your torso…they never cut your face, though. While you were grateful for that small mercy, they still beat the hell out of you, the worst they ever had. While your face may have been spared the cutting, it was not spared the hits. You had even taken a couple of hard blows to the head that left you reeling. You didn’t even remember if you had screamed, cried, or begged for them to stop. Instead, you remembered some random saying in some movie you had seen stating that pain was the way you knew you were still alive. You held onto that as they continued to inflict as much damage as they could without actually killing you or making it impossible for you to speak. They had even unzipped Tim’s pullover at the beginning of the torture, leaving you in your bra, and besides the cuts they had also landed punches to your already severely bruised stomach and sides. They had even stomped on your bare feet, making you cry out as some of your toes broke from the force. They had even taken a bat to your right knee. That time you screamed the loudest you ever had in your life, sobbing so hard you didn’t think you’d ever be able to stop. The pain was immense, something you hadn’t felt before, and tears poured down your face, mixing with the blood dripping from a busted lip and most likely broken nose. When they stopped to take a break, it didn’t surprise you in the least that the same man with the phone from last time was there in the same corner. It did surprise you, though, that they didn’t leave. While you figured they were just ramping up to go for a second round, something told you that you may not come out alive from this particular interrogation. You could only hope the others you had been brought here with somehow did. A small part of you wondered if the reason they were going harder on you this time, possibly about to kill you on video, is because your company didn’t pay the sum demanded in the last one. You knew your father must have done everything he could to secure your release, even if the Board for some reason hadn’t. You hadn’t prayed since you were a girl, right before your mother died, but you sent a silent one up anyway to anyone who might be listening that your father would never see this footage. It would destroy him if he did. You didn’t expect much, though. Your mom had still passed away from a terminal illness, so you were pretty sure your father wouldn’t be spared seeing your last moments like this.

But instead of starting back up again as you anticipated, the men ended up stepping outside of the room though they left the phone behind, on some sort of stand, still pointing in your direction. 

So now here you were, your body exhausted yet radiating nothing but pain. You slowly swung your head around in a daze, blinking against the bright light they had turned on before leaving. You waited for them to come back, to finally do their worst and possibly end your life. You were terrified but you also knew how badly injured you were, that there was nothing you could do. Even if you could somehow get loose, how would you manage to escape? Even if you got outside, this compound was heavily patrolled by armed guards. And even if by some miracle you could get past them without being seen or an alarm being sounded when your absence was discovered, you had no idea where you were. You were in the jungle for Christ’s sake, from the brief glimpses you’d managed to catch on your bathroom runs. You had no idea where to go from here. Still, though, you heard that small voice inside your head, telling you to fight, not to give in or give up. You had to work hard, be the best, and prove yourself. Go, go, go. The voice sounded strangely like your father’s. 

As you waited for your captors to come back, you glanced around the room to see if there was anything that could help you. You attempted to move your arms but gasped in pain when you did. You didn’t even try anything with your right leg. You knew your kneecap was broken; it had to be. You chanced moving your left leg, though, but it didn’t budge. You were stuck to this chair.

Suddenly, you heard the last thing you expected. Gunfire. 

Not that gunfire was all that unusual around here. You had heard some happen during your captivity but it was short and never answered. You and your co-workers had no idea what went on in the rest of the compound but after hearing those rounds being fired every so often, you didn’t really want to know.

But these were extended rapid bursts of gunfire and someone was definitely shooting back. Not to mention all of the furious yelling you could hear down the hall. You idly wondered if one of your people got free and they were making a break for it. If it was, you hoped they got free and were able to go for help. 

You knew you should be scared as the gunshots got closer to you, when you heard more yells and some thuds right outside your door, but you simply resigned yourself to your fate. Especially when one of the kidnappers burst into the room and held a gun to your head, yelling in Spanish at an unseen person to stay back or he would kill you. Your body began to shake uncontrollably once more, thinking this was it. You knew it; you were going to die. 

Two men swept into the room, dressed in tactical-looking gear and donning black face masks with holes only for eyes and mouths, assault rifles pointed in your captor’s direction. The man on your right told him to let you go in Spanish or he would be dead before he could squeeze a round off. 

The man on your left briefly glanced at you, his gaze an assessing one, before focusing back onto his target. Your captor screamed at them and pushed the gun into your temple, making you shake harder and take shallow breaths. 

“You got him?” The man on the left asked, surprising you when you heard him speak English. He sounded…American. 

“I got him,” the man on the right answered. Another American.

The kidnapper must have understood them because he gripped your head and pulled it back, pushing his gun now into the side of your face, making you scream out in pain. You heard a gunshot and suddenly the barrel against your cheek was gone as was the pressure around your head. A loud thud sounded as your captor’s body fell to the ground behind you and you moved your head to a position that didn’t hurt so much.

The two men were suddenly there, the one on the left laying a hand on your shoulder. “Please…don’t hurt me,” you begged in a raspy whisper. You followed it up with the same plea in Spanish, still not sure who you were exactly dealing with as your head swam.

“Hey,” the left soldier spoke softly. “Look at me.”

You did the best you could. It shocked you to see green eyes staring back at you with something that looked like kindness. Kindness…you hadn’t seen that in what felt like forever. Considering you’d only seen hatred and disgust from everyone around you since this whole ordeal started, this was something new and you held onto it with all of your might. 

“We’re here to get you out. Just hold on.” He pulled out a switchblade and you immediately gasped and began to shake again. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just cutting the ropes,” he explained gently as he did it. “See?” You carefully moved your head to gaze down, seeing that he was indeed doing as he said. 

Once you were free, you began to slide off of the chair, unable to sit up right due to your head still swimming. The movement caused you to cry out in pain from your injured knee being jostled when he caught you and lifted your arm around his shoulders to gently help you back into your original seated position. Your body still shaking, your brain told you that he was telling you the truth and he had just proved it, but you were still terrified and unsure of what to believe — no matter how kind his eyes were. “Shh, you’re safe now. I’m here and I’m going to get you out. I’m guessing they did a number on your legs?” He frowned down at your bloody feet. 

“My knee,” you quietly sobbed, the pain still radiating throughout your right leg. “They—they broke it.”

“Shit,” he muttered, studying the leg you had glanced at. 

In the background, you noticed the other man grab the smartphone and slip it into his pocket before heading back over in your direction. “What are we doing, man? Grab her and let’s go. Clock’s ticking.”

The man crouched in front of you looked up at the other one. “She can’t walk.” He inclined his head in the direction of your knee. “We’re going to have to carry her out.”

“Fucking hell,” the other one hissed. “Maybe we can get in touch with the chopper and get an evac.”

The man in front of you shook his head. “No, this is supposed to be a quick in and out. We have to get to the extraction point. They’re not coming for us.” So maybe these two were soldiers? They sounded like they might be military. Had your father somehow managed to get the government to send the US military in to rescue you?

“But, there’s no way we can—”

“No time for this, man. We’ve got to move now before reinforcements arrive.” Your rescuer turned back to you. “Alright, listen, I’m not going to lie to you, this is going to hurt like hell. I’m going to try my best to take it easy on you but we have to get you out of here now.”

You shook your head, causing tears to roll down your face. You wouldn’t admit it but you were as scared of the pain as you were to go out into the chaos you still heard happening outside of the room you were in. 

He laid his hand on your shoulder again and locked gazes with you. “We have to do this. I told you before. I’m here to get you out and that means I’m not leaving without you.” He very gently rubbed at your shoulder in reassurance. “So, just try to relax and I’ll—” He carefully tried to slip his free hand underneath your legs and gingerly lift them but the movement caused you to scream in pain. 

“Okay, okay,” your soldier soothed and backed off.

The other soldier was shaking his head. “We are so fucked.”

“Hey, we’re not.” Your guy turned to give him a sharp look. “Just give me a second with her.”

The other one let out an aggravated sigh and impatiently pointed to his watch before holding his rifle up and leaving the room. 

Your soldier glanced back at you. “Okay. Time for some real talk. We’ve got about seventeen minutes to get to the extraction point which is out of this place and up the hill on the north side. Which would be, not exactly a cakewalk because it would still be tough, but if you were able to use your legs and we were running, we’d probably make it there in the next fifteen despite any resistance we might encounter. But, this is—”

“Going to slow you down,” you choked out. “I’m not going to make it.” More tears rolled down your cheeks, stinging when they came into contact with your injuries. If you had to be left behind, you knew you would die. No question about it.

“Hey,” he spoke softer than he had a moment ago. “I told you I’m not leaving here without you and I meant it. So don’t go thinking anything like that.” His eyes narrowed slightly as your head became too heavy to try to hold up. His hand was suddenly behind your neck, helping you, as he visually inspected one of the wounds at your hairline. “Dammit,” you heard him mutter. “Okay, I’m getting you out of here.”

He bent down to scoop you up but you grabbed onto his uniform, gripping a bit of the fabric in your fingers though it hurt to do so. He turned to look at you and you shook your head, whimpering. “Please,” you begged. 

He reached up with a gloved hand and gently wiped under your eyes with his thumb. “I’m sorry but I have to. If I don’t…” He didn’t finish that sentence but he didn’t need to; the concern you saw in his green gaze said more than enough, and confirmed what he had already told you. “I know the pain is going to be a bitch and a half, but you’ve got to push through as best you can. I’ll carry you and get you to that chopper, I promise, but I need you to hold on. If you have to cry, scream, hell, even bite down on me, you do whatever you’ve got to do. But we’re doing this and we’re doing it now. You ready?”

“N-No.” Your voice wobbled a little bit but you heard him. You were going to try your best but you were still scared of the impending pain. “I’ll try.”

“Atta girl.” He gently positioned you as close to him as possible, zipping up the pullover that your captors had left open, and then carefully placed his free arm under your legs again. You got ready for the pain and whimpered again when he got ready to lift you. “I promise, after this, we’ll get that knee looked at, and that head injury, as soon as we get you someplace safe. Hey, look at me.” You struggled to meet his eyes but when you did, you saw the kindness from earlier staring back at you. “You’ve got this. You’ve made it this far and you’re going to make it all the way. I’m going to make sure you do.” 

“Okay,” you whispered, afraid to speak any louder when the threat of the impending pain. Almost as if you spoke a half a decibel higher, you might make it hurt worse than it already was going to. It didn’t make sense but you weren’t exactly thinking straight right then. 

You held onto the outer edge of his vest, wincing at the flare up of pain in your hand, as ready as you could possibly be in that moment. 

He gave you another second, a brief respite from what was to come, and then a nod. “Alright, here we go.”

The man slowly lifted you and it hurt, sure, but what really hurt was when gravity did its work when he carefully got to his feet. You couldn’t help but cry out. You immediately stuck your thumb knuckle into your mouth and bit down, hoping this would all be over very soon.

The other soldier appeared in the doorway, having heard your cries. Your soldier took a few steps towards him, forcing you to bite harder into your skin and more tears to roll down your cheeks. “Let’s get moving. Call the bird and let them know we’re on our way.” The man nodded and turned, speaking to someone to let them know you were about to leave the compound and would need backup on the way. 

When he turned around and gave you both a nod, your soldier held you a little closer to him. “You take point and lead us out. We’re good.” He then turned a reassuring smile on you. “Aren’t we?”

You wanted to answer him but you couldn’t. He hadn’t even started really moving yet and already the pain was agonizing. Instead, you carefully laid your head on his shoulder, feeling pure exhaustion wash over you that left an even foggier trace behind in your mind.

“Let’s do this.” Your soldier looked back towards the door and began to follow his fellow soldier out of the room. You gasped from the pain, bit into your flesh harder, and ignored the tears spilling onto your face. You weren’t going to be able to hold back the pained cries for long. You had no idea how you weren’t screaming at this point.

As you all turned down a hallway, you couldn’t help but think of the others and that provided a momentary distraction. “What about—my people?” You asked through gritted teeth.   

“Already extracted,” he whispered. “Now it’s your turn, Y/N.”

You were still fighting your way through a misty fog of pain and sluggishness but that caught your attention. You released your thumb and stuttered out, “You know my name.”

“Of course I know your name. We came here for you.” He shot you a wink and then proceeded to carefully make his way down the stairs after the way forward was cleared. 

You idly wondered about that as you held onto him, noting several dead bodies in your peripherals but refusing to look straight at them. You could hear him huffing and puffing next to you and you felt badly that he had to carry you because you were unable to walk. A couple of times, he had to stop and hunker down with you while the other soldier engaged the remaining kidnappers you came across. The third time, it was a struggle for you but you whispered, “Slowing you down. Not —gonna make it.”

“Shhh, don’t worry about that. I’ve got you,” he murmured back. And sure enough, once it was clear again, you were on the move. Before long, you had met up with more soldiers (the backup that must have been called for) and one of them offered to take you. You involuntarily tightened your grip on your rescuer’s vest and he shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m good.” 

Eventually, you made your way out onto the terrain and you could no longer hold back your pained cries. “Almost there,” he promised. After what felt like prolonged agony, you finally reached an area where a helicopter was indeed waiting. The sight of it made something that felt like relief loosen inside your chest. You were really going to make it out of here alive. Your soldier went to hand you off to another inside when your fingers tightened reflexively around him again. “It’s just for a second to let me get in,” he reassured you. 

You nodded, hoping it wouldn’t hurt as bad as that run had, and let him go. Once you were all boarded onto the helicopter, you were moved around again until you were back in your soldier’s embrace, holding tightly onto him as the aircraft lifted into the air and headed away from the compound where more gunfire erupted. 

You tried to ask him something but he couldn’t hear you so he ducked his head near yours. “Where are my people?” You asked as loudly as you could, taking every little bit of strength you had left. You were still under the fog, but you still noticed your co-workers weren’t in the helicopter with you. 

He turned and placed his lips near your ear. “They’re in another chopper!” You had all made it safely out. Thank God.

You nodded and laid your head against his shoulder, completely spent and feeling the throbbing of pain in your body intensify, making you acutely aware of all the rest of your injuries. The pain radiated from your knee outwardly and now you could feel it in your torso, your arms, your head… Your eyes began to close of their own accord when he shook your shoulder a little. “I’m sure all you want to do right now is sleep but I need you to stay awake. At least until the docs get a good look at you!”

You blinked dazedly up at him. “I don’t think I can,” you mumbled, not even sure he heard you. The tide of pain was washing you under.

He then did the last thing you expected. He lifted his mask and you finally saw the man underneath, the owner of those green eyes that you had been holding onto during this entire ordeal. 

“Man, what the hell are you doing?” You heard yelled nearby, but your soldier kept his eyes on yours.

“I need you to stay awake, Y/N! You think you can do that for me?”

You took in his features, your fingers carefully lifting up to touch the thick beard he sported, noting the dirt and grime smears all over his face, but his eyes were what captivated you. Now without the mask in the way, you were free to get lost in those green orbs as deeply as you dared. Too bad you couldn’t seem to stay conscious. 

He shook you again. “Y/N! Hey! Stay awake!”

“Sorry,” you slurred before everything went black.

The next time you jerked into consciousness, screaming out in pain, the helicopter had just landed and your soldier, once again wearing his face mask, was yelling instructions to the men around him. You couldn’t hear exactly what they were, the pain was that intense. You were lifted out into another soldier’s arms and looking past him, you saw a second helicopter not that far away. You watched as your co-workers were ushered off of it alongside other masked soldiers but something didn’t seem right. You weren’t sure what it was but something was off to you.

You were placed into someone else’s arms and you saw the eyes of your rescuer once again, softening when he saw that you were crying.

“Something’s—wrong.” 

“Stay with me this time, Y/N,” he urged as he hurried you away from the helicopter. “Help is just a few feet away! Only a little bit more to go.”

You tried to stay with him, you really did, but the tide of pain started to blanket you once again. Alongside it, the feeling of something’s wrong surged throughout your body before the darkness overtook you once more. 

The next time you came to, you were on a gurney and bright lights were shining down on you. Doctors and nurses surrounded you, talking quickly in Spanish and calling out a few instructions. Your body began to involuntarily tremble again. Had your rescue been a dream? Had your kidnappers brought you to another part of the compound where they had an assembled medical team waiting to somehow keep you alive after they had unleashed such brutality on you? Or were you just dead?

You felt a warm hand in yours, a thumb stroking the top of yours reassuringly. You gingerly turned your head to find your soldier, still wearing his mask, standing right there, smiling down at you. “There you are. You had me worried for a second.”

Before you could ask him if he was real, if any of it was, a nurse started yelling at him, trying to get him to leave. He replied in perfect Spanish, telling her in a very resolved tone that he wasn’t leaving until he knew you were going to be okay. She let out a frustrated huff and shot him a glare before turning away to speak to the doctors. They insisted he had to go and once again, without your permission, you tightened your grip on him, not wanting him to go anywhere.

“No,” you rasped out. “Please let him stay. Please.” He was the only thing anchoring you in this moment. You got the distinct feeling that if you lost him, you’d be lost entirely, never to resurface. He was safety for you, an end to the horrific ordeal you had been through, and you didn’t want him to leave you.

A doctor leaned over you, speaking kindly in English. “It’s okay,” he spoke with a heavy accent. “We are going to make you better but he can’t be in here.”

You shook your head and grabbed at your soldier’s forearm with your free hand though it hurt like hell. 

“Doc, can you give us a second?”

The doctor gave him a look but did as he asked, moving back over to his team. 

The man next to you pulled a chair from out of nowhere and positioned it next to you. He took a seat and only when he had did you release him, wincing as you dropped your right hand next to you. 

He smiled reassuringly down at you. “You’re going to be okay. They’re going to fix you right up. You’ve been through a lot but you’re going to be alright.”

You knew what he was doing; he was calming you down and saying goodbye. For some reason, that made you tear up. Even though you didn’t know this man, he had been your harbor of safety in a chaotic whirlwind, a beacon of hope to cling to in a truly terrifying situation you had found yourself in. When a tear rolled down your cheek, he wiped it away with his thumb. “Will you be here when I wake up?” You choked out.

“I’ll be here until you fall asleep.”

That set loose more tears and he made sure to catch every single one. In the meantime, the nurse came over and injected something into your IV. When you started feeling drowsy a minute or so later, it wasn’t hard to guess what was happening. “Will I ever see you again?” You frantically intertwined your fingers with his as you struggled to stay awake.

He leaned closer, smiling in the same reassurance his green eyes were trying to convey. “I’ll find you,” he murmured, gently squeezing your hand. That made even more tears fall. It surprised you when he moved in to whisper to you, “Get some rest, sweetheart. You’ve more than earned it.”

You wanted to stay awake; you fought it, not wanting to lose sight of those green eyes fixated on you, knowing they would be gone once you closed yours. But you lost that battle as a sea of sleepiness dragged you down with it. You held onto his words as your eyes finally shut from the weight of the drug and you could no longer see him or feel his hand in yours. “I’ll find you” reverberated through your mind as you sank deeper and deeper into oblivion, falling at a rapid rate from deep green into solid black, until you were completely engulfed by it and you were gone.

You briefly closed your eyes as you felt a cool breeze gently make its way past you. You watched as two orange leaves pirouetted in the air, spinning round and round, until they landed several feet away. Silent ripples danced along the water’s surface in front of you and you could hear the sounds of people milling about near you, talking, surrounded by a symphony of nature sounds mixed in with the faroff noises of city life. You couldn’t help but smile when you heard small children giggling as they played on the grass nearby with their parents watching over them. You watched as a small group of teenage girls walked past you, laughing as they reminisced over something that had happened the past weekend. You saw an old man on another bench further down the path, an open book in his hands. 

These were the small peaceful moments that you had come to appreciate since you rejoined society a couple of months ago. These were the ones you held onto when the memories of the terror and pain all became a bit too much, that reminded you that you were back home, safe. 

You watched as two moms in workout gear jogged by with their strollers. A man and woman coming from the opposite direction made their way around the two women and continued their trek, drinking from to-go cups and dressed in business casual attire. Sure enough, you could hear them discussing work-related topics as they passed you by. You smiled sadly as you watched them get further and further from your sight. 

That had been you not that long ago, where you didn’t have a care in the world other than pushing out new product lines and being in charge of one of the main offices of the family business. The pressure had been near soul-crushing most of the time but you had adapted for the most part and rolled with it. You worked hard, you worked long hours, and you were alright with that. You took the stress of hectic deadlines and constantly putting out fires and you rolled with the punches. It became part of your make-up and it could only help fuel you even faster towards your goal — your father’s goal. Now, after what you’d been through, your outlook on it all had changed. What had felt like life and death matters in the corporate world before no longer felt as dire as it used to. You’d been in a literal life and death situation and lived to tell the tale; whatever came your way business wise you knew you could more than handle. There was something about being tortured and having a gun held to your head, convinced you were about to die, that just put things into perspective for you.

And though you survived, you didn’t actually get to tell your tale. The minute you were reunited with your father, while he had been grateful you were alive and kissed your forehead, it was made clear to you that you and the co-workers who had been in captivity with you were to sign NDA’s. That had completely floored you. That was the Board’s main concern? That the public might find out that some of its employees had been kidnapped, terrorized, and tortured? How were they going to explain your month long absence from the job, from your lives? You knew Meredith had a fiance, Pat was a grandmother, Rob had just gotten married weeks before this happened, and Tim had a wife and kids waiting back at home for him. Suzanne was dating someone in HR and you could have sworn you heard Jerry mention at some point that he had a dog to get back to, hoping his neighbor had either checked in on it or at least notified someone to do so. How in the world did the Board plan to explain away any of it?

Your father had let out an aggravated sigh as you fired question after question at him. Who had taken you? What had they wanted besides money? Why hadn’t the Board met their demands? Why had it taken them so long to get the government involved?

“They weren’t involved.”

Your eyes had widened in shock. “What? How?”

Your father had taken your hand in between his and stared into your eyes with meaning. “I’m only going to mention this once and then we’re never going to speak of it again. We hired someone to send in a team to get you out of there.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Hired someone? As in mercenaries?”

“Private contractors for security. They handle this type of situation quite frequently but they keep it all very hush hush. So that is why the Board is insisting on NDA’s for all of you. It’s not only to protect the brand but also to protect all of you.”

“Protect this organization they hired, you mean.”

Your father nodded, not looking troubled by your accusation in the least.

“I don’t understand, Dad. You have contacts in Defense. Why wouldn’t you call them?”

“We did. They recommended these people and said they were our best option. If we hired them, they could get in quickly and get you out. If we didn’t and chose to go through more official channels, it might prolong the process and that might be time that you didn’t have.”

You could see the wisdom in that advice he’d been given. They had been right; had they gotten there even just an hour later than they did, you might not be alive right now. “But a month, Dad? Why did they wait so long?”

Your father tightened his grip on your hand and you knew you weren’t going to like what he had to say next. “At first, we didn’t know who had taken you. When they made contact…the Board wanted to try negotiating with them first.”

You huffed out a breath in disbelief. Those sons of bitches…

“I pushed for them to do something more drastic but they fought me every step of the way. It wasn’t until they received that first video message that they finally agreed that I should make the call.” 

So your father had fought for you, but to a point. That fact rolled around in your brain for a moment. Had your roles been reversed, you would have told the Board to go screw themselves and immediately contacted whoever could rescue your father as soon as possible. No amount of money, litigation threats, or risk to the business would have stopped you. You, his only child, his only surviving family member, had been in mortal danger, and he hadn’t done everything he could to secure your safe return home as soon as possible? It was hard to wrap your mind around that. Then his last words finally registered. “Wait, what video message?”

His blue eyes softened with sympathy then and you could swear you could see a little bit of pain beginning to cloud them. “Where you were tortured.”

You should have known. Why else would your kidnappers have filmed it? Truthfully, you had known it back when they were hurting you. You shouldn’t be surprised, but you also didn’t want to talk about it. “You mean the pictures weren’t enough to convince them?” Before that first night, your kidnappers had forced you and your co-workers to look up at them as they snapped photos of you on their phones. You knew then that they were either using it as a scare tactic for your father and the Board or they were providing proof of life. Either way, it hadn’t mattered in the end since obviously the kidnappers had kicked it up a notch after that. 

A haunted look fleeted across your father’s tired face. While you may still be struggling with the idea that he hadn’t done everything you would have done in his place, you knew this had taken a toll on him. He had been genuinely concerned for you and the relief you’d seen on his expression when he saw you for the first time since you’d been separated was palpable. “When they saw the video, they could no longer pretend that this was something they could simply deal their way out of.”

Your brows drew together as you studied him. You were sure it had been hard for them to see what had happened to you, to hear your cries, your screams, your pained whimpers. You knew it must have been even more difficult for your father to see. But somehow you got the distinct impression that’s not what he was referring to. “Dad.” He glanced up at you and sure enough, you could tell he was keeping something from you. “Tell me.”

He grasped your hand tightly once more. This was definitely not going to be good. “It was bad enough to see what they did to you…but the end of the video was what convinced them.” At your knitted brow, he elaborated, “They pulled Tim out of the room they were keeping you all in, brought him somewhere, and then killed him.”

Your eyes widened and your heart stopped. What?

“And they said if they didn’t get what they wanted in three days, you were next.” 

Your heart started up again and began to pound in your chest. You felt like you were falling with no end in sight. Tim was…dead? Your breathing sped up into short pants and you could hear beeping from a machine you were connected to but it sounded so far away.

You had blocked out some of that experience, your brain subconsciously trying to protect you perhaps, you weren’t sure. And whatever memories stayed, each time they started to flash in your mind, you would close your eyes and grab hold of your safe harbor in those turbulent waves of trauma that tried to overtake you. You would think of green and while the images didn’t exactly disappear, it kept them at a safe distance. Well, while you were awake at least. The nightmares you experienced were something else entirely.

But this…nothing could protect you from this. You suddenly remembered being locked in that bedroom, hearing the yelling, the gunshot—oh God, the gunshot. You had heard the moment they— Your father urged you to calm down, rubbing your hand comfortingly, but you couldn’t hear him or even when a nurse rushed into the room to ask what was going on. Because at that precise moment, a memory came back to you, ripping your tight grip on your green harbor and tossing you back into the dark ocean of trauma and pain to drown in. 

It had been right before you’d passed out the second time. While your soldier had gotten out of the helicopter, you had glanced over to see the other helicopter that your people were disembarking from. At the time, you had been so out of it due to the pain and disorientation you had been feeling that you didn’t realize the number of people you should have been seeing was one short. You didn’t even seem to process the black bag two soldiers removed from the aircraft and carried off the tarmac together. You just knew something was wrong, something you had tried to tell your soldier before you passed out again. But now you knew exactly what you had seen.

Tim. Tim had been with you since you started in the New York office; he preceded you actually. Even though your father had chosen him to accompany you and the others, all you could remember was the nice man who had smiled and said hello as he walked into the office; the man who was quiet and reserved but also a hard worker; who had offered you his jacket to cover up with; the man who had begged the kidnappers for the photos of his kids from his wallet that they had taken and then denied him; the man who talked about his family and proudly told you all about his children. His daughter, Riley, was eight and she had recently taken up soccer. Before you’d left for Bogota, she had told him that her coach wanted her to try the goalie position but she was scared; she didn’t want balls flying at her head. You couldn’t blame her on that one and had said as much. You remembered all too well the sports you had been made to join growing up and it had never really been your thing, but it made your father happy so you did it each time he urged you to sign up or try out. Tim’s son, David, was nearly six and he had just graduated kindergarten. And the baby, Olivia, could be quite the handful since she was a very rambunctious toddler who never seemed to run out of energy, but his wife, Angela, lived up to her name and couldn’t be happier with their current family setup. And now… Now, he would never get to see any of them ever again.

The pained wail that met your ears caught you off guard until you realized it was coming from you. Tim was a good man and he had managed to make a life outside of work. He had something you had never let yourself dream about having since it would inevitably get in the way of your successful climbing of the corporate ladder. Now, he would never get to see his kids grow up, go to any more of Riley’s soccer games to encourage her, go on any more date nights with his wife — none of it. You had the horrible thought for a moment that it should have been you in that bag instead. It nearly had been you.

Your father held onto you as you wept, as the nurse rubbed your back from the opposite side of the bed, crooning soft reassurances to you and urging you to try to calm down. But nothing could reassure you; you were here and Tim was not. A cold hard fact that you could do nothing to change. Even worse, you had missed his funeral since you were stuck in the hospital you had been transferred to once you were flown from the one you had briefly ended up in down in Colombia. You hadn’t even known about his death until this moment, your suddenly resurfaced traumatic memories aside. 

Since that day, the memory of that single gunshot had tormented you. Had Tim known it was coming? Did he think about Angela and the kids right then? Had he prayed they would be okay without him? How terrified must he have been? You knew how scared you were in that bedroom, how fearful you had been during your second round of torture, sensing that this wasn’t going to end with the doctor treating you as it had the last time (which had now been confirmed that your instinct had been spot on). You could only imagine how he must have felt in that final moment.

The nightmares proceeded to get even worse and you were afraid to be left alone in your hospital room. Though your father and the medical staff had assured you that you were safe, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you weren’t, no matter how irrational you knew you were being. Eventually, your assistant Luna started working remotely from your room to keep you company and your father had hired two full-time bodyguards to watch over you: Owen during the day and Simon at night. When the nightmares became practically unbearable, that rotation switched. For some reason, you felt safer with Owen there. Perhaps it had to do with his look, specifically his salt and pepper beard…you briefly remembered the feeling of a beard underneath your bloody fingertips though you couldn’t place the face it belonged to. You had a feeling it was connected to the green you remembered, that you clung to in the tumultuous sea of mayhem that was the night you were marked to die — the green that you associated with your rescuer. Why you couldn’t recall his face, you had no idea, but you chalked it up to your brain once again trying to make sense of the chaos that reigned inside your head. 

Green continued to symbolize safety and reassurance for you. So much so that when Luna brought a bag of clothes for you to change into for your beginning rehab sessions, you immediately picked out an olive green hoodie she had selected from your closet and set it aside. You took to holding it close as you slept, letting the scent of home attached to it wash over you as you closed your eyes. When you would wake from your nightmares, sometimes gasping for air that wouldn’t come, sometimes crying, or sometimes screaming, you would see the hoodie next to you and grab it, holding it close until you could either breathe again or calm back down. It became a source of comfort for you and long remained that even after you were discharged. 

Your doctor had recommended therapy in addition to the outpatient rehab you would be continuing but truth be told, you weren’t in a rush to relive anything or even unearth something that might somehow be worse than what you already remembered. Your father had also dismissed the idea of therapy, saying that focusing on regaining your ability to walk without the assistance of crutches would help, as well as getting back to concentrating on work. You didn’t agree, you knew better, but you also allowed his view to become your excuse, solidifying your refusal to deal with the trauma you had suffered. After all, you were still here, still breathing — as long as you kept reminding yourself of that, you would be fine. 

So you did as your father insisted: you focused on your physical therapy and you slowly found your way back to working full-time. You had graduated from crutches to a cane. Your doctor said your knee was healing nicely and right on schedule, which made you glad that you had listened to him and not your father’s initial suggestion of a knee replacement. You still felt a twinge of discomfort and a whispery echo of pain when walking so you relied more heavily on the cane than your doctor or physical therapist might have liked. You may not have remembered everything from your ordeal, but the pain of the initial impact of the bat and afterwards as you were carried to a waiting helicopter to take you to safety was still a very recent and clear memory for you. You doubted you would ever forget it as long as you lived. 

Eventually, you returned to your office and you accepted the well wishes all around. You had no idea what they had been told about your obvious injury or what had caused it but thankfully, no one questioned you. You had been in brief touch with Meredith and the others in the days after your initial surgery back in Colombia but not since then. You had been so focused on your recovery and processing the news of Tim’s death that, truthfully, you hadn’t thought of much else. Even though Luna had been working from your hospital room for a time and she kept you apprised on all developments as well as anything that required your attention, you knew your father had instructed her to keep it all to a strictly need-to-know basis until you were finally ready to fully take up the mantle again. And because you were already dealing with more than enough, you allowed it and didn’t push for more than she told you. So the guilt consumed you when you were informed that Suzanne had resigned and Pat had taken an early retirement to be able to spend more time with her kids and grandkids. Rob had taken a position at another company, though Jerry and Meredith were still there. However, Meredith worked remotely most days, something she had worked out with your father while you had been out. You wondered if it might have been a result of Meredith initially refusing to sign the NDA, a sort of compromise to get her to agree to keeping your ordeal under wraps. You made a mental note to reach out to all of them so you could at least check in to see how they were doing. Jerry was in Research; you’d stop by there later.

As tough as all of that had been to learn and stepping back into the swing of things proved to be a little more complicated than you thought it would be, the most difficult moment had been when you went up to Design. Seeing Tim’s office not being Tim’s anymore had left you reeling. Your father moved fast and had hired his replacement within days. From a professional perspective, you more than understood; the business still had to run after all and Design was one of your most crucial departments. But knowing it and seeing it were two different things. The nightmares were particularly brutal that night. You kept hearing the gunshot, kept seeing one of the kidnappers with their cell phone look over at you afterwards and give you the most terrifying smile. Even the hoodie hadn’t helped. When you looked at it, you didn’t see green anymore but red. A very bold and wet shade of dark red. You tossed it away from you and screamed, bursting into sobs as you rocked yourself back and forth in a soothing motion. 

You had immediately called out sick the next morning and spent the rest of the day in bed, alternating between crying and staring blankly at the TV on the wall. Later on, when you could think clearly again, you gave yourself a stern talking to. You were here, alive, and you had hundreds of people looking to you to lead them. You refused to dishonor Tim’s memory by hiding away in your apartment for the rest of your life, no matter how appealing the option might feel. You could hear your father’s voice in your head again, pushing you, telling you to get back up and go to work, to be the best you could be.

And sure enough, you heard his voice for real the next day when he walked into your office. “What is he doing here?”

You glanced up and looked over where he was pointing to see Owen sitting in one of the chairs off to the side, watching you both. You pressed your lips together and shut the portfolio in front of you. “His name’s Owen, Dad. You know that. And he’s here because I asked him to be.”

Your father looked quite displeased with that. “I dismissed him and the other one last week. We talked about this.”

You let out a quiet sigh and sat back in your chair. “I know but—”

“It’s not a good look and it certainly isn’t good for morale. The cane you still insist on unnecessarily using is bad enough. Do you think people around here aren’t asking themselves or each other why you have this man sitting in your office, watching your every move?” 

You leaned forward and lowered your voice. “Dad, I get that. I do, but I need—”

“Is this why you called out sick yesterday?” You briefly dropped your gaze to your desk. You didn’t really want to talk about that or how despondent you’d been in your bed for hours until your alarm went off, jolting you into grabbing your phone and making the call. Your father’s eyes softened though his tone didn’t. “Honey, what you need is to dismiss him, permanently, and get back to your life, to your work. Don’t forget, you’re at the helm of this ship and everyone’s looking to you to navigate it seamlessly through the waters.”

Your jaw clenched and for the first time in your life, you were about to draw a line in the sand between what he was telling you to do and what you knew you needed to do. “I’m aware of that and I can’t steer the ship unless I feel safe. Owen here,” you nodded in the man’s direction. “Makes me feel safe. With him present, I can focus and get the job done. So, Owen is staying until I say otherwise.”

Your father’s own jaw tightened. “I’m not paying for more—”

“You’re not. I am. And believe it or not, while I’m doing what’s right for me, I’m also doing what’s right for this office, to ensure our complete success. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some reports from Research to review.” You slipped your eyeglasses back on and reopened the portfolio in front of you, scanning the contents.

You glanced up when your father stepped closer to your desk, his voice lower than before though his now angry gaze burned into you. You should have known by dismissing him in that manner after standing your ground, what it would do. “I’m going to strongly suggest that you finish up with Research and take your lunch out of the office. Perhaps outside. It’s a beautiful day and a dose of fresh air might just be what you need.” He gave you a curt nod and then swiftly left the room. Once he was gone, your shoulders deflated and you slumped back into your chair. You knew your father loved you and he only wanted the best for you, for you to succeed, but sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder if it ever came down to the choice of you or the business, who would he choose? He already chose. You blinked the rapidly forming tears in your eyes away at the thought that had popped into your head out of nowhere and carefully got to your feet, reaching for your cane. 

“Owen,” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him immediately stand at attention. “I think we’re going to take my father’s advice. He’s right. It is a beautiful day and I would like to take full advantage of it.” He moved towards you, watching as you moved to the corner and slipped on your light coat. “I’d prefer to be anywhere that isn’t here,” you mumbled, grabbing your handbag. 

You carefully made your way across your office with Owen following right behind you, ready to assist if need be while also keeping an eye out. You called out to your assistant as you passed her by, “Luna, I’m going out for lunch today. Please hold all calls until I return.”

“Of course, Ms. Y/L/N. If Research calls while you’re out, is there anything you would like me to tell them?”

You thought it over for a moment before turning towards the elevators. “Tell them I’m still working on it. Thank you.” And for the first time since you’d started in this company, you left without getting the job done. The thought didn’t sit well with you, you had always been conditioned to complete all of the tasks set out before you, no matter how late you might have to stay to complete them. But at the same time, it oddly made you smile a little.

So here you were, in Central Park on a gorgeous fall day, having taken your father’s advice to heart. You took every single one of your lunches outdoors now unless it was raining or too cold to sit outside for long. You always marveled at the fact that you had lived in New York City for close to two years and you had never once taken the time to stop and notice what surrounded you on a daily basis. You had never taken in the present moment, never taken an opportunity just to be, to sit quietly and listen. The bench you were on by the lake had quickly become one of your favorite spots. You could relax and indulge in the art of people watching, take in all of the sounds, sights, and smells around you. Truth be told, it was the best part of your day. 

Owen stood sentry not too far from you, giving you enough space but also ready to intervene at any moment should he be needed. Despite sitting in a park in the middle of one of the most crime-ridden cities in the country, you felt beyond safe. Owen would never let anything happen to you and being in public, around people living their everyday lives…you felt the safest you had in a long time. A feeling you ended up trying to replicate by looking up Central Park ambience videos on YouTube and playing them while you fell asleep though it didn’t always manage to keep the nightmares away. But you expected that; trauma could be a real stubborn pain in the ass.

But right now, sitting here like this, you were okay. That is, until someone decided to sit down on the opposite side of the bench you were on. All of the times you had sat in this spot, you had been left alone, free to claim this bench as your own for the hour or so you’d spend here. Now, someone appeared not to have gotten the unofficial memo. Out of your peripherals, you saw Owen quickly approaching, most likely intending to tell the stranger to move to another bench, when the person glanced back at him, holding a hand up.

“Relax, man. I appreciate you looking out but I’m not here to hurt her, alright? I’m just here to talk.” The second you heard the voice, your gaze snapped over to the man across from you. You immediately recognized it; it was one you’d heard in your nightmares over and over, telling you to stay with him as you desperately clung to his hand until the kidnappers snatched you away. Was it even possible or were you just imagining this man had spoken to Owen with that voice?

When the man turned back to look at you, you recognized the green eyes immediately and a small lump began to form in your throat. Sure enough, he had a beard, one that looked startlingly familiar when you warily prodded at the memory, trying to recall it. A flash of his face, dirtier than it appeared now, popped into your mind. As if it had been patiently waiting all of this time for you to simply reach out and grab a hold of it. Tears began to burn in the corner of your eyes; it was him.

“It’s you,” you choked out in a whisper without really meaning to. 

The smile you faintly remembered graced his face. “It’s me,” he confirmed.

You stared at him, truly dumbfounded. “How?”  

“I told you I’d find you.” 

You nearly started crying when the familiar words floated up from your subconscious, the phrase you had somehow forgotten in the midst of everything. But you remembered it now, as clearly and vividly as the man sitting before you who had said it. You had been about to pass out in the makeshift surgical room, crying and holding onto him tightly, afraid to let him go. “Will I ever see you again?” “I’ll find you.” 

“I made you a promise and I intended on keeping it.” His green eyes softened slightly, much as they had all of those months ago as he caught every single tear that rolled down your cheeks as you succumbed to the drug beginning to course through your system. “I’ll find you.”

And find you he did.

A little preview of the next installment:

Still sensing your discomfort, Russell immediately lifted up and peeled his shirt off, revealing his bare skin to you for the first time. Immediately, you noticed a small bandage wrapped around his left arm.  “What happened?” You gasped, sitting up and gingerly running your fingers below the bandage line.  He shrugged and looked down at it. “Got shot on a job.” Your jaw dropped and when he glanced back up at you, he must have seen the worry that was consuming you because he immediately chuckled and affectionately cupped your chin. “I’m okay. Besides, that’s not what I wanted to show you.” He took your hand in his and moved it to his other shoulder, guiding your fingertips over skin that was jagged, puckered slightly, and silver-looking. “Shot.” He then moved your hands down his side until it reached a decent sized line that was anything but smooth. “Stabbed.” Your hands moved again to right above his abdomen. “Cut.” They moved once more and ended up on his clavicle. “Cut from an attempted stab.” You winced as he mentioned each injury he had received; they had all been the result of violent means. He moved your hands up to the upper tip of his right ear. “Bullet graze.” There was no scar there to speak of but you could see the tiniest bit of difference between his ears in that area when you looked closely.  He finally brought your hand to rest over his heart, holding it there. “Sofia.” Your brows furrowed in confusion and he smirked over at you. “Cute little waitress in Costa Rica. Gave me one hell of a weekend and then left me high and dry for some young British guy who showed up at the beach and hadn’t yet run out of money.” You scoffed and yanked your hand from underneath his, making him laugh, as you crossed your arms. He moved closer to you, cupping your cheeks and staring into your eyes. “I’m kidding about that last part. The rest, I’m not. I’ve got plenty more on my back and even a few on my legs. A couple more on my arms. We all have scars. They’re just reminders of battles we’ve fought and survived. Don’t be ashamed of yours.” A tear escaped and rolled down your cheek but his thumb caught it. He pressed his forehead against yours and murmured, “You’re beautiful.”    When he looked at you like this, spoke softly to you like this, you genuinely believed him.

A/N: Coming soon. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged for Part 2.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Sep 5th

~*~

1. Hello :)

I'm looking for this fic where lwj, jwy and maybe some others use wwx's inventions to travel back in time to before wwx was brought to yunmeng after wwx died and both lwj and jwy have all these plans to make wy's life better. lwj wants to bring him to gusu while jwy is planning to make his mother treat him better.

But, plot twist, the years pass and wwx hasn't been found and the time travellers start theorising that because it was his invention, maybe it pulled him back w/ them. later on, my is killed further establishing their theory that wy is alive and avoiding them. this goes on for years until the wen discussion conference when the top shooter is an archer from the wen sect named wei ying. the closing line of this fic was jwy, lwj and the others thinking that the sunshot campaign has been lost before it even started.

Also, there was a flashback showing that wrh's spirit had lingered after his death and he saw everything that happened after. so, when he saw them making the time travel array, he entered and went back with them. also, he was the one who killed my, I think by slitting his throat.

I don't remember if this was a multi chapter fic or not (I'm only like 60% sure it was), but I remember one of the author's notes saying that while jwy is saying that he'll make his mother treat wwx better this time, he knows deep down that this isn't true and that his form of love is selfish.

Hi again. I'm #1 from the sept 5th fic finder and I'm sorry, but it wasn't sunset, sunrise. It was more jwy-centric, and it's implied that wrh is still planning a war

NOT FOUND! Sunset, Sunrise by Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte) (T, 41k, WWX & WRH, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Crack, Temporary Character Death, sorry I killed a-Yuan for a few paragraphs before the time travel, WWX is a Wen, Genius WWX, WRH gets to rewatch the series as a treat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, in this house we acknowledge that all the sects have flaws, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, WWX Has ADHD, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Autistic LWJ)

FOUND? Lost Oppurtunities by Scarlet914 (T, 5k, JC & LWJ, WWX & WRH, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, JC Needs a Hug, Sad JC, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC-centric, Golden Core Reveal, Sad LWJ, Sad LXC, BAMF WWX, YLLZ WWX, POV WRH, Qishan Wen Sect Wins the Sunshot Campaign, Gusu Lan Sect, YZY Bashing, Bad Parent YZY, Mentioned JYL, One-Sided WangXian, WWX is a Wen, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX)

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2. hi thank you for all you do! i’m looking for a fic that starts during the cloud recess arc. wei ying steals lan zhan’s clothes/blankets and makes a nest on his bed? and lan zhan notices someone is stealing his laundry but doesn’t immediately realize it’s wei ying? @hashtagad

FOUND! this mattress is a desert island by bbyminmaki (E, 19k, wangxian, A/B/O, no sunshot au, mating cycles/heat, nesting, omega WWX, alpha LWJ, getting together, scenting, pining, friends to lovers)

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3. Hello! I have a request for ficfinder!

I don't remember much about it, but Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were married (it was not post canon) and Wei Wuxian was walking in the woods at Cloud Recesses without his sword, and Su She attacked him. Wwx was able to dodge Su She's attacks. Su She was insulting Wwx and his relationship with Lwj, and Wwx was taunting him for being jealous. But then Lan Xichen showed up and was really angry at Su She. I think Su She got exiled and Wwx was kind of uncomfortable with that punishment, but the Lans were like "he attacked an unarmed person in the woods, even if you weren't married to Lwj, exile is a light sentence." I cannot for the life of me remember anything else about that fic, just that I think it was kind of long?

Thank you all so much!

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) They aren't married yet when that happens, but very engaged.

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4. Hi! This is for fic finder. Ithink this fic is about LWJ and WWX in arranged marriage. I think its for LWJ protection (? Not sure about this part). Then WWX is sent to a war but failed to come back and declared as dead. LWJ become a widow (it is a correct term?). Because he is still young, many pressed him to remarried, but he use a griefing period to avoid that. I think he write a poem and become famous because of those romantic poem and ballad using a fake name. And then near the end there are a negotiation to exchange prisoner and WWX is not one of them (?) It was revealed that someone want him dead and dont want him be rescued (i think it was yxy?). A yuan, who should not be there tells lwj about wwx. Wwx then rescued and the three of them in the inn. As wwx rest there, JWY visited and talked. Lwj then bring wwx and a yuan to his house in capital. I think there are a sheep/goat involved?. Wwx healed but there are some injuries that cant be fully healed. I think because of that he cant do something he was proud of doing. I dont remeber if it was his hand or leg or maybe his eyes?. I think then lqr teach wwx something. Thats all i can remember. Thanks

FOUND! ❤️ Where the nightingales are singing, and a white moon beams. by Moominmammashandbag (M, 52k, wangixan, jin zixuan & lan wangji, no powers au, grief/mourning, aftermath of war, angst w/ happy ending, reunions, fluff & smut)

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5. Hiiii, can u pls help me find a fuc where lwj plays cleansing gor wwx coz if he does that wwx will be free of resentful energy but his body is literally held together by resentful energy so it almost kills him but wen qing saves him and the core secret is also revealed. Pleaseeree help me find it, thanks!

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

FOUND?🔒A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX's questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding)

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6. Hi! For the fic finder

I have scoured ao3 dark lan zhan tag and similar but I still can't find this fic. I remember Lan Zhan gets like cursed (i think he got the curse from a junior accidentally) and the curse like lowers his self control and amplifies darker urges so he takes wei ying to a cottage to live his domestic dreams but at some point wwx realizes lwj is isolating them and wwx tries to trick him to send a letter to lan sizhui. This doesn't work abd LWJ doesn't realize he is cursed. The curse like hides the mark too i think?? It ends happily I think.

I wonder if I'm mixing fics or it's been deleted bc I just can't seem to find it?? Thank you in anycase!

FOUND! Clouded by diamondbruise (M, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Case Ficish, Curses, Dark LWJ, It's a curse, Dubcon Kissing, Jealousy, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubious Consent, no sex in this fic just in general)

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7. Hi! This is for fic finder. Qin Su ressurected someone (either wwx or jyl im not sure but i think it was wwx). Whoever in that body now do qin su duty and trying to make her own power without jgy knowing. And then there was a flood. She help people there as expected, but she do her duty too competent. JGY now suspect it was not QS in that body and confront her. Thats all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

NOT FOUND!🔒Everyanything by deliciousblizzardshark, lingeringdust (E, 46k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Franken-canon, Gender Identity, Gender Dysphoria, Trans WWX, Protective LWJ, Accidental Baby Acquisition, tCanon-Typical Misogyny, Fluff and Angst, Vaginal Sex, Canon-Typical Major Character Death)

NOT FOUND! the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, wangxian, qingli, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, slightly dark!JYL, wq lives because i said so, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, manipulative relationship (background xiyao))

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8. Hello! I'm trying to remember the name of a long fic where wx are hooking up, no relationship. Wwx will come to lwj's super nice modern apartment, they'll have sex in lwj's big modern bed with a moving headboard that exposes restraints and then after wwx will take a bath and sleep in the guest room. Does this ring any bells?

FOUND? A Sure Thing by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 95k, WangXian, Modern, Sugar Daddy, Sex Work, Light Dom/sub, Aftercare, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Bondage, use of sex toys, boundary setting, Relationship Negotiation, many baths, Barebacking)

FOUND? show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending)

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9. please help oh wonderful mods : a favorite Cloud Recesses Study AU with injured talisman genius Wy, ace Jin Zixuan, good mother Jin, WY explodes badguy Wen’s heads - couldnt find it again!! @oldoni

FOUND! 🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

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10. hi i’m looking for a fic i read a long time ago. it was a post-canon jc & wwx reconciliation fic. i believe it was jc and an oc jiang disciple on a night hunt where they ran into wangxian who were also working on that case. i remember there was some sort of misunderstanding regarding this (i think he found some letter?) but not the exact details of it. one scene i remember clearly was jc finding out wangxian were married and being a little hurt that he wasn’t invited. after they opened up, wwx told him he was there for it and when jc realized he meant the two bows in the jiang ancestral hall, he said smth like jyl would be rolling in her grave and demands a proper ceremony i think @nalalie

FOUND!🔒asunder by alessandriana (M, 51k, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, WangXian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Reconciliation, Golden Core Reveal, Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Death, Case Fic)

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11. Hello to fic finder so here's what I'm trying to search for I remember it as a podfic and I remember it was in Lan zhan POV I think and it was like him thinking about wei ying leaving the cloud recesses soon and I remember one Pacific scene where Wei ying was teaching the baby Lan how to sew their clothes

FOUND? [Podfic] And Yet Here You Are by zaffre (T, 1-1.5H, WangXIan, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Location: Cloud Recesses, settling down, LWJ needs a hug, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, People being nice to wwx is my kink, And probably lwj's kink too huh, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ, And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea)

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12. hi! i’m looking for a fic where lan zhan has a type of hanahaki where he has a tree/plant growing roots in his back that he removes a few times. i believe he also worked with textile production and the fic itself had a very stylized writing and was quite angsty. thank you!!

FOUND? The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart (E, 104k, wangxian, modern, fashion au, garment company, casual sex, group sex, implied/referenced cheating, switching, recreational drug use, angst w/ happy ending, single dad WWX, panic attacks, implied/referenced self-harm, grief/mourning, catharsis, body horror, floral horror) is the absolute masterpiece , Roots Grow Riotious by Hans Bekhart , it's taken off ao3. however I have a copy and I've gotten permission to share from the author, DM your email so I can send you a pdf. @/the-marathon-continues-nip

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13. Guys~ I love u blog and am so desperate so I will cut to the chase:

There was this wangxian time travel fic where they meet their younger selfs and go back again. I think it was 7 chapters. Pov was mostly LZ (Young and old) and young Lz was confused about why he "didn't" marry Wwx ( Wwx introduced himself as mo xuanyu)

Hanguang-jun’s Husband by lilacevergarden (T, 6k, Time Travel, post-canon wangxian being disgustingly in love, wwx bullying teenage wangxian, Yeah that’s it, Jealous WWX)

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14. Hello, hope you’re doing well! I’m asking about a fic I read a while back. Lan Zahn and Wei Ying meet as children, but Lan Zahn doesn’t take him back to the cloud recesses. Instead, years later, they meet during the disciples visit to Gusu. Lan Wangji remembers Little Wei Ying as Wei Wuxian, but Wei Ying has no memory of him.

Highlights include drunk lan wangji with other disciples, su she getting punished for trying to assault lan wangji, and more I don’t remember. I read this in 2019, so my memory is pretty spotty.

It’s probably been deleted, but I really enjoyed this one. Thanks for your help. @myshallweplay

FOUND? Sun on a rainy day by MiiMi (M, 194k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Childhood Memories, Childhood Friends, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, First Love, Fluff and Smut, Angst, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Reversible Couple, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, WangXian/XianWang, XiCheng, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX)

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15. Hello! I'm looking for a Wangxian fanfic. It took place in a modern au. LWJ and WWN's entire family were gathered for a barbecue, and Wangxian was fighting. There is a moment when Lan Wangji is about to eat something spicy, and Wei Wuxian stops him from eating, but they continue to fight. I remember that at some point, Wei Wuxian is eating this spicy dish, and Lan Wangji gets up to kiss him. And horrified by this situation, Jiang Yanli spills a glass of wine on Lan Wangji's shirt. I remember the story ended with Wei Wuxian saying that her husband was a knight with him and them going away to clean Wangji's shirt @a-ghostking

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17. This is probably some sort of canon divergence, not post-canon. I think it might take place somewhere after WWX busts out the Wens but before the shit hits the fan. Anyway, the specific detail we're working with here: WWX asks how the yin iron pieces were destroyed, please don't say you just chucked them in the volcano, then tells the sect leaders they fucked up and Qishan is going to explode with resentment if something is not done soon. Thank you 🖤 @linderel

I don't believe I've read this before, and I'm pretty sure the fic I'm looking for was neither crack (treated seriously or otherwise) nor time travel, but I'll certainly mark it down for later!

NOT FOUND! 🧡 built by the fires of volcanoes by isabilightwood (T, 26k, wangxian, time travel, crack treated seriously, canon divergence, fluff & humor)

FOUND! 🔒In search of safety by SomeDumbGuy (M, 22k, One-Sided WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Incomplete Fix-It, Unreliable Narrator, JZX Lives, distruction of the yin tiger seal, Is it still hurt/comfort if it's comfort then hurt?, Blood and Gore) Here is a quote from chapter 3: “What do you have on the destruction of the Yin Iron at Nightless City?” Wei Wuxian asked. “We don’t have anything. It was thrown into the lava in the aftermath of the battle,” Lan Xichen replied.

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18. Hello

I'm looking for a fic published @ 2020 or so

Idk if it was dark lwj, but at the meal in Yiling, LWJs inner monologue was very critical, on how Yuan had no manners and the Wens were very bad for WWX.

Wwx might've also been outwardly hostile, but put up w it for the food @midnightlighthowlite

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19. Hiii, hope you're having a nice day :)) i was searching for a certain fic in which both wei wuxian and lan wangji are assassins and housemates. They both dont know that the other is an assassin too but they keep coming across on their missions.(i think they were competing and sometimes lan zhan was just watching wei ying do his job? idk) i remember wei wuxian accidentally revealing his identity by talking?? Something like that! Hope you can find it bc i've been searching for it nonstoppp T-T anywayss thank u in advancee!!! @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou

FOUND? silhouettes to steal this night by moonsteps (T, 51k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Modern, Assassins & Hitmen, Roommates, Rivals to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Identity Porn, Violence, Blood and Injury, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Secret Identity)

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20. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its modern with magic (i think? Because the tech is not showed much) and single parent wwx. I think that lwj is sent by an institution to make wwx accept a contract to familiar because he didnt have a familiar for years and usually people who didnt have a familiar for yearst went crazy/died (i think it was a familiar. Not sure about that). In wwx house, lwj meet lsz. He then tried to confince lsz to study in institution. After that, i dont remember much. I think lsz transform and became a dog that kinda declared to the world that he is a wen. Lsz is left by wq as a baby and found by wwx. Wwx then raised lsz. I think they have a cat (or crow) that reminded wwx of wq. Lwj found out the reason why wwx didnt go crazy/die is because wwx make a clone of himself and killed it. Lwj found the corpses in wwx's backyard in a grave. That grave is near a tree. Long story short, at the end of the story, it was implied that wwx faked his death with jyl, jwy, jzx, and lwj help and moved to england (?). Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Getting Together, shifter!lwj, yllz!wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch WangXian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex)

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[maddiethedogstories]

The Book Store

The familiar sound of the bell ringing as you entered the door along with the musty smell of books assaulted your senses as you stepped into your favorite book store. You couldn't help but smile as you were hit by the rush of nostalgia as you crossed the threshold into the cozy, little shop.

Each time you left the shop, you left with a new book, a new story, and, in a lot of ways, a new life.

You smiled at the shopkeeper, a lovely woman who had owned the store since you started coming here with your parents as a small child.

"Hello, Sweetie!" She called out cheerily, as you waved at her, "Can I help you with anything?"

"No," You say as you walk towards your favorite section, Romance, "Just browsing today."

You feel a strange tingling course through your body as you drew closer to the books decorated with steamy covers, a nod to the smut hidden inside. You didn't notice the shop owner standing behind you before you feel her hand on your shoulder as you reach for a particularly raunchy dark romance.

"And what do you think you're doing, Little One? I think these books are a bit too mature for you!"

You tried to protest as she dragged you away from the bookshelf, but suddenly felt something soft and rubbery filling your mouth, making it impossible for you to talk.

"Here we go, sweetie, these books are a little more your speed. Why don't you plop down on our magic carpet, and I'll find us a book to take us on a little adventure together?"

You wanted to protest that you were much too old to sit on the store's "Magic Reading Carpet," let alone be read to like a toddler. However, as the woman spoke, you felt your legs turn to jelly, causing you to sit on the carpet right where she indicated with a suddenly suspicious squishy feeling cushioning your uncoordinated fall.

Before you could assess your situation further, the store clerk came back with a copy of Green Eggs and Ham.

You tried to groan at the thought of being read such a childish book, but instead found yourself giggling around the rubbery object in your mouth as the women settled into the rocking chair on the carpet and began reading.

As the story progressed, you find yourself utterly entranced. You don't notice when you lean forward at start grunting, and remained oblivious to the horrid smell emanating from you the feeling of a lump growing under your bottom. You were fully absorbed in the story.

When the story ends, you foundd yourself suddenly wanting to cry. Tears start to fall unbidden to your cheeks as you softly lisp out, "More, more!"

The clerk smiled warmly as she closed the book and looked over your head.

"Oh, baby, that's all the stories you need for today," a cheerful voice rings out from behind you, "I think it's time to get you home though."

You turn to see a beautiful young woman walk up behind you, before she lifts you from the floor and into her arms with surprising ease.

You find yourself clutching her, almost as if out of well-worn habit, as she talks to the clerk.

"Thank you for the story! I think it's time I got my little monkey home though!" The new woman said as she carried you out of the store.

"Bye, bye!" The clerk said as bell on in the front door rang.

You waved feebly as you looked at the clerk over your new Mommy's shoulder, leaving the book store with yet another new life.

[jordanrosenburg]

After watching the “Quiet On Set” documentary, I can’t help but feel like there are literally no good people in the entertainment industry. Even the “good” ones aren’t good. It solidifies that we don’t actually know anything about them. We only know who they present as to the media. 

I think like most people around my age, we grew up watching Nickelodeon during its golden age. I always looked forward to watching “All That” not only because it was funny, but because it was something I could watch with my older siblings. It was something the four of us could laugh together about. My sister and I still laugh over the bit from “Keenan and Kel” where Kel admits to dropping the screw in the tuna. So many iconic characters and television shows were created at the hands of Dan Schneider. 

What else was created at the hands of Dan Schneider were countless acts of abuse, harassment, manipulation, and much more. His sets were homes to child sexual abusers. Adults who are around children each and every day, taking advantage of their trust and innocence, grooming them and harming them physically and mentally. 

It’s not easy for victims of abuse to speak up. Many aren’t believed. Reliving trauma is a horrific experience, so I commend each and every person who shared their story for this docuseries. There were previous cast members who aren’t as well known who got to share their truths, there were crew members sharing stories about Dan’s harassment and sexism on set. There were many crew members that felt uncomfortable about the scenes they were shooting, but no one spoke up. Dan had so much power at Nickelodeon because he kept churning out hit after hit after hit. The parents weren’t much better, but I’ll come back to that. 

The docuseries revealed three adult men who were caught for child pornography, and for sexually abusing children. One man’s name is Brian Peck. He groomed Drake Bell for years. Joe Bell, Drake’s father, did everything he could to keep Brian away from Drake because he knew something just wasn’t right with how Brian acted around his son. Brian eventually convinced Drake to fire his father as his manager, and let his mother take over. This gave Brian the room to drive Drake to and from auditions, take him to Disneyland with him and his friends, and more. Drake Bell revealed in the documentary that Brian Peck sexually assaulted and abused him for years. Since Drake was a minor when it started, his identity was kept secret.

During the trial, many people wrote letters for Brian Peck, attesting to his character: James Marden, Taran Killam, Alan Thicke, Thomas DeSano, Ron Melendez, Rider Strong, and Will Friedle. Some of these names are extremely surprising, and others aren't at all.

Joanna Kerns saying, "there must have been some extreme situation or temptation exerted on him to influence is actions" at the time, and is now saying "I have now learned that my letter of support was based on complete misinformation.

Knowing what I know now, I never would have written the letter". For me, it's not even about her writing the letter, it's about her blaming Drake Bell, the victim, and child in the situation, as if Brian Peck wasn't a grown man who should have known better.

Kimmy Robertson also wrote victim blaming language in her letter of support for Brian Peck.

Rich Correll wrote, "it would be my pleasure to work with him again". And then he did! Brian was allowed to work on The Suite Life! Correll later said, they had no input or involvement in the casting". He also went on to say that, "Mr. Peck simply replied that 'the problem had been solved'".

The series went on from there, explaining how Dan’s behaviors just got worse and worse, and he “flew too close to the sun”. The inappropriate sexual innuendo bits on his shows happened more and more frequently. This included constant closeups on actors’ feet, many of the young female actresses being forced to be squirted in the face with various liquids to represent “money shots”. Ariana Grande probably had it the worst in that she had to film videos that went directly to YouTube, many of which included her biting her own toenails, squeezing a potato until juice squirted out of it, etc. Just absolutely disgusting things that do not make sense for a CHILDREN’S television show. These weren’t jokes for kids. This was Dan Schneider abusing his power, and seeing how much he could get away with. 

It wasn’t until Jeanette McCurdy’s mother died that Nickelodeon finally launched an investigation into Dan Schneider. Jeanette talks about this in her book, “I’m Glad My Mom Died”, which was a heart wrenching read, but well worth it. Jeanette returned to work a WEEK after her mother died from a long battle with cancer. Because of the backlash she got for that, Nickelodeon realized that it was the culture Dan created that probably made Jeanette feel like she had to come back, that she couldn’t take more time off. 

All Nickelodeon did was remove Dan from his sets, and made it so he could only watch from his office and give notes from there. Even though he wasn’t physically on set, the toxic and hostile environment was still alive and well because he was still watching everyone’s every move. 

Thanks to #MeToo, more and more women started speaking up about their experiences on set with Dan Schneider. And then in 2018 Nickelodeon finally kicked Dan Schneider to the curb after launching another investigation based off the new claims. The investigation didn't reveal proof of sexual abuse, but it revealed more cases of harassment of his actors and his crews.

Child stars are often made fun of and exploited by the media as they transition into adulthood. We watch their mental health decline until they’re caught having a breakdown. People point and laugh, and say it’s just another child star who couldn’t handle life as a grown up. But what I think a lot of people don’t understand is that many child stars are forced into the entertainment business. Parents put their financial burdens on their children, tell them they need to work to support the family. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a child. So, if something bad is happening on a set, a kid is going to be too afraid to speak up because they could be fired, and if they’re fired, then they’re not making money for their families. The parents are supposed to be on set and with the kids at all times. But so many turn the other cheek and don’t speak up because they don’t want to risk their kids getting fired. 

It just feels like no adults, not even the ones you’re meant to trust, are safe to be around. In some way, shape, or form these kids get abused. Whether it’s sexual abuse, racism, inflicted eating disorders, or other types of mental abuse, they’re not safe. No one is looking out for them. Everyone is more concerned with making money. 

The entertainment industry squeezes the youth dry and tosses them aside when they can’t legally control them anymore. And we wonder why so many of them have a tough time later on in life. The lucky ones are helped through therapy, and the not so lucky ones either turn up dead, broke, abused, or end up abusing others as they were abused. 

I am feeling very sad and heartbroken. And I’m not sure where to go from here. So many of these shows have brought me comfort and laughs over the years. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to enjoy them again. Is it okay to sit and watch reruns or should we be boycotting everything? I want to help in the ways that I can, but I also know that the world will stop caring about this in a week or so when the next big truth bomb about something else is dropped. 

People who have no moral conscious, people who are okay letting children be hurt for the sake of their own wallets shouldn’t have any power. And I hope everyone involved in hurting these kids, past and present, is forced to answer for what they did. I hope they’re shamed and cancelled and doxxed and everything else bad that can happen to people like them. I hope they go broke and become ruined. And at this point, I hope Nickelodeon just crashes and burns. They don’t deserve any salvation. 

[arceus-insanity]

Why Did Teen & Tween Girls Love Creepypastas so Much?

The creepypasta fandom was my first fandom, it introduced me to fandom when I was 13 and every once in a blue moon, I check in on it. But why was it so popular amongst young girls? Part of it is that the line between ‘canon’ and fandom was made of tissue paper with a ton of holes. It allowed a feeling of engagement and belonging as anyone could add to the lore, and there was a possibility of your story or character taking off.

But after seeing the endless anti-writing advice of WhY dOeS eVeRy ViLlIaN nEeD tO bE cOmPlEx! No Tragic villains! We only want evil for the sake of being evil! I’ve been thinking about how all the creepypastas have sympathetic backstories, more of the creepypasta characters have tragic backstories than murderers.

Now I’m all for evil characters who are just asshats like Jack Horner (Dreamworks Puss in Boots 2), or the classic Disney villains, but so many spout this ‘advice’ without getting into why evil for the sake of being evil villains are good, or the pitfalls of tragic or complex villains, hence why I’m calling it anti-writing advice.

So why did tragic creepypasta characters work so well?

For starters and addressing one of the most dissed aspects, is the story quality, while with anyone writing or adding to the fandom quality varied to extreme degrees, most of them including one of the most well-known (Jeff the Killer 2011) was shit. These stories weren’t popular because they were well written, they were popular because they were engaging. They are like campfire stories, their value wasn’t based on quality but on the ideas they had. 

Now Teen girls and tweens are shamed for everything (See all the criticism Turning Red got for being ‘cringey’), they are dealing with the lack of respect a child gets and the expectations of an adult (to simplify). It’s also a common age for us to be discovering the darker elements of the world, assuming we haven’t experienced them ourselves yet. Many are dealing with bullies, or dealing with being catcalled or worse (a lot of the girl creepypasta’s were sexually assaulted, or betrayed by their partners). But I think a huge part of it is these characters let us live out our rage through them (to an extreme) (I recommend watching this short video on what I’m talking about, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Ea8fwetA8). One of the criticisms I’ve seen for Encanto is how peacefully the movie has Mirabel treat Alma after everything. Part of that was to allow viewers to live out the idyllic ending that many people who relate to Mirabel in her mistreatment by her family and community where their (for lack of a better word) abusers realize they were wrong and change. The group levelling this criticism or writing and/ or reading many of the fics on ao3 want to enjoy the other confronting your abuser fantasy, the revenge route, whether that be violent or not.

Jeff the Killer; Woods (2011) Vs Hodek (2008)

Now him and Slenderman being the most famous creepypasta’s out there, Jeff’s story is known for how shit it is. The famous 2011 Woods version isn’t going to win any rewards for its writing, but it’s not the original, so why is it the famous one, especially as I heard the OG was better, or at least more realistic? Well, I read the original, watched the video, the wiki and the official DeviantArt summary for it, and wondered how the Hell is this better written or more realistic, maybe by a molecule. It was harder to follow along how Jeff Hodek became a killer. But more than that, he was boring and what could have made him a ‘relatable’ (read understandable or even interesting) character was only in the summary and didn’t have any focus on it.

Meanwhile Woods, in the main confrontations in his story, didn’t start them. First, it was some violent kids going after him and his brother and not being prepared for someone who could and would fight back, albeit very violently. This is followed by the adults (his parents and the police) only listening to one side of the story and refusing to do any further investigation, which Liu purposely takes the blame for getting taken to juvie. His mom forces him to attend some random little kid's birthday party so she can fit in even after the prior events, where those bullies then show up to attack him again. Jeff wins again but arrives at the hospital with his signature white skin. And when he gets home and ends up killing his parents, it's after his mom says “get the gun”, after finding him mutilating himself in the bathroom, not call the doctor, or authorities, kill him that's the call. The only time he starts an incident is at the end of the story, and the start which takes place after so he’s on the run in this, and how far the violence goes isn't shown in those instances. Is this some badly written power fantasy bullshit, yes, but it’s interesting, it’s engaging, and Jeff can be used as a way to vent rage with a needed amount of distance

Eyeless Jack: Everyone Gets Backstories

Eyeless Jack is a perfect example of how every popular creepypasta character had a tragic past because he did not come with one. In his original story, he’s just a scary monster who breaks into someone’s home, steals an organ and the next night kills someone in that house. There are some interesting aspects, such as his surgical knowledge and the evidence that Eyeless Jack eats people, but most he seems to be a cross between a slasher and a monster. Then someone else gave him a backstory. It had him as a medical student that a cult sacrificed to some god turning him into Eyeless Jack. And for the most part everyone accepted that as Jack’s backstory, to the point his wiki had to include it

Carrying This over to The League of Villains (My Hero Academia)

Now years after the fact and a couple of fandoms later, I finally give in and read My Hero Academia. Now the fan content that pushed me into the series were major Midoriya fans and of Class 1A. And the Fics I first sought out reflected this, but it did not stay that way. I ended up becoming a massive fan of the League of Villains, and my opinion of Deku, 1A, the Heroes, and their supporters soured more and more over time. I found that the LoV weren’t the system failing but working exactly as intended, as not only were we shown the humanity (& backstories) of the League, but the ‘heroes’ constantly making disturbing decisions and doubling down.

A huge part of why I got into the series was because the early arcs seemed to present themselves as not just being a hero story but a story that challenged the toxic elements of not just its society but others as well. But as it went on not only did the protagonists fail to live up to that, but so much of the later arcs reframe the beginning arcs for the worse. The League however delivered on what drew me to this series, there were other elements, like the smaller cast allowed there to be some actual focus & development on the characters in the short moments we got with them.

While we were constantly with the heroes, we were constantly being introduced to new characters, and focusing on the supposed ‘greatness’ of an abusive monster, and spoiled abusive brat. The solutions the hero side showed were painfully superficial, avoided dealing with any of the root issues caused by their ‘wonderful’ hero society, doubling down to hell & back and more often than not just plain stupid & ignorant.

Why I Can’t Like the ‘Good’ Victims

Part of what inspired this post was another post (It’s been months since I saw it so this isn’t an exact quote) saying that Dabi (Touya Todoroki and one of the main members of the League) was the rage of eldest daughter syndrome. Not Fuyumi, his younger sister by less than a year, and very blatantly parentified, Dabi.

Why? For starters, while Fuyumi’s intro page says she resents her abusive father, her actions paint a very different story. In practice, she’s the most eager to be a loving daughter, and constantly supports him, even against her younger brother Natsuo who doesn’t want to forgive him.

Rei is even worse for this, telling Fuyumi and Natsuo that she forgives the man who abused her to the point of a mental breakdown the first time we meet her, because he sent her a flower. And is seen at the end pushing his wheelchair around, so his caretaker.

Did I forget to mention that Touya was believed dead, at age 13, as the result of that thing’s ‘parenting’, read abuse and grooming

I want to like them, there are so many characters in this series that I want to like but I just can’t force myself to after reading this series. Because as a blatant of an example(s) the Todoroki family is, they aren’t unique.

This whole series demands that everyone be good victims, and shows that a good victim must not only be silent on their mistreatment, never act out in even the slightest way, but should support their abuser, the reward of which is going back to the same circumstances that enabled this to begin with.

[call-me-strega]

New chapter of HBSD for Jason is just like, hey you get your crush in your bed! But not in that way, actually it’s much worse whoops

I am curious though, what does Jason think happened in Danny/Ellie’s backstory? Because what he has to go off of is 1) Vlad is paying child support and low key Danny is worried about custody 2) Ellie and other attempts were created, but not how (and obv most people wouldn’t assume cloning) 3) Ellie was introduced to Danny LATER 4) Vlad is simultaneously creepy/involved in Ellie’s creation, but also still trying to date Danny’s mom

If I overheard that phone convo, I would be very concerned (obviously), but also trying to figure out how…how the hell any of them are related. Like, trans Danny with Ellie taken early and reintroduced later? Vlad is trans? Is Vlad even biologically involved because Danny never says so, just that he’s in some way responsible so-Vlad paid someone to be a surrogate at some point for some reason? I would have NO idea because none of those explanations would quite make sense from the phone convo unless I knew cloning was an option, you know?

Oh, I totally see how that'd be confusing. Let me explain my thought process when I wrote this.

You see after hearing that conversation, in the moment Jason assumes that something was happening along the lines of the trans theory. The pit rage did cloud his judgment a bit, so he focused more on the custody/separation aspects and wanting to protect these new people in his territory who have something akin to an age-old story he has heard before. Plus, later on during the 4th of July chapter Danny reveals more of his parents' relationship with Vlad and alludes to what happened between them, basically implying that they trusted Vlad near Danny, but he did something to Danny to get his genetic material. Which isn't untrue but somewhat misleading. Later when he has time to re-examine the info from both conversations he adjusts his theory.

Keeping in mind that this is the same universe where cloning is possible and genetic studies are likely more advanced in turn it wouldn't be a stretch to assume test tube babies are a Thing that Exist more commonly there than in the real world. Especially, if we use the version of the story where Damian was a test tube baby rather than Talia actually getting pregnant making it a possibility Jason would definitely be aware of.

Jason's leading theory right now was that some creepy old guy (Vlad) was obsessed with Danny's mom, and later Danny himself. And because his parents trusted Vlad they let him get close to Danny despite Danny recognizing Vlad was a creep. All of this is basically accurate, so here's where things diverge. Jason assumes Danny was assaulted (either physically or sexually) by Vlad, who took his genetic material by force. Then the creepy old rich guy used his money to try and create a test tube baby using their combined DNA. The first few attempts failed but when one finally took Danielle was the result. The creep then tried to raise her and poison her against her other genetic donor, to little success because she was such a small child. Danny became aware of what Vlad had done shortly after Danielle was born, but was too young and vulnerable to fight back and get custody. However, once he got older he finally gathered the resources to fight back and managed to get custody of his daughter. Danny has something he can use against Vlad to keep him in check, likely a scary lawyer or some sort of blackmail. Now he's trying to live a normal life with Ellie and makes sure Vlad compensates him with child support. All things considered not to far from the truth but missing some key context details.

With the type of shenanigans always going down the DC universe his theory really isn't that much of a stretch. In all honesty though, Jason tries not to spend too much time dwelling on it for a couple of reasons: 1) In his experience, people who go through similar things want to be left alone, lest something happen that could jeopardize their situation (hiding from an abuser). 2) Danny made it clear when he declined seeking protection from Red Hood that he had the situation handled and didn't want anyone getting involved, Jason's meddling wouldn't help anything. 3.) Jason wants Danny to trust him enough to tell him the whole story himself, and 4.) Jason is busy with other stuff like work, vigilante-ing, and falling in love to go unnecessarily digging around in a story that honestly isn't as unique as one might think.

Obviously, there might still be holes in my logic but that's basically what I believe Jason's view on the situation would be. I hope that sheds some light onto how I intended the situation to look like from the outside.

[panlight]

I agree with Renee getting worse thru the books. I think Charlie suffers from the same regression. In Twilight he comes off hands-off but loving. He buys Bella a truck, he's taken care of his parents, etc. By Eclipse he's too dumb to make pasta and highfiving Bella's assaulter. Of course many fans have headcanons on WHY. I still hold that Meyer just A. Wanted Bella to be a Super Mature Old Soul, and B. Wanted Bella to be "right" in defying Charlie later on in the books, among other reasons.

Right in Twilight I didn't think Charlie was actually that inept at caring for himself or his household, I just thought Bella was employing the same teenage hyperbole that she used in saying "haha I took over the bills when I was six" or whatever. But then as the books wore on, it was like, oh he literally doesn't know you can't put metal in the microwave???? How did this man take care of himself and his elderly parents??

There's an interesting divide in fandom, I think, between people who look at Bella's relationship with her parents in-universe or out of it. That is, there's a lot of people who really feel for Bella and see in her someone who was the victim of parentification and neglect. They see a child who was forced to grow up too fast to take care of her parents and feel a lot of sympathy for her and imagine how it has informed the choices she makes in the story.

Then there are folks who look at it from an out of universe perspective, which is close to what you're saying here: that SM wanted Bella to be an Old Soul and seem mature and she doesn't really need her parents and that's why things were written the way they are. That whether Renee is a good or bad mother isn't really the point; the point was Bella needed to go to Forks for the story to happen. SM wasn't really interested in exploring parentification or any of that, she just needed a way to make Bella seem more mature than the average teenager so her relationship with an 100-year-old 17-year-old works.

I don't think either one is better or more "right" than the other, and both can be true at the same time! I can only say that I was in the out of universe camp originally; I was just like, it's a YA story, of course the parents have to be kind of useless, and I didn't read much more into it than that. Like yeah Renee not showing up to graduation is weird, but I was like "Bella already visited Renee at the beginning of the book, I see why as a writer SM didn't see a point in More Renee." But I've seen a lot of really thoughtful meta about Bella as a parentified child and how that can explain things like why she can't empathize with Rosalie's desire for children, or Bella's low self-esteem, etc. Certainly I think Midnight Sun takes this more in-universe approach with Renee coming off even worse than she was before and Edward musing about how Bella feels like she has to be useful, has to be a caretake, has to earn her place in a family, etc.

But yeah I think that came later, for both Renee and Charlie, and originally it was just "I need kind of hand-off parents for my YA story" and then letting them be a little bit of comic relief: Charlie's useless cooking, Renee's frantic emails, etc. She meant them to be kind of funny and then over time it got darker.

[ilikepjo24]

Lol another dumb take on reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRant/s/ER8SmBToSm

WOW! There are so many things to unpack here...

"Iroh, the most-" Iroh!? IROH!? THE Iroh!? The "redeemed" warlord that only gave a fuck about being a warlord after it affected him personally? That Iroh? The Iroh that left a child to bare the weight of a nation just bc he, the mature responsible adult, wanted to sit on his ass instead of being mature and responsible? THAT Iroh? It seems awful like both those actions appear to be those of a selfish and unempathetic person. And let's not forget that even after his "redemption" he assaulted June. So how exactly is he the most understanding and kind person in the show, exactly?

Would you like to know who actually is the most understanding and kind person in the show? AANG.

The boy who found it in himself to forgive and learn to have affection for the dude that chased him around the world and almost hurt/killed him and his friends multiple times. The boy who found it in himself to forgive the nation that genocided his people enough to want to help them, teach them their old ways and bring them back to the light. The boy that found it in himself to spare Ozai, a sadistic, manipulative, abusive warlord that wanted to watch the world burn in an attempt to satisfy his narcissism. And may the record note that Iroh did not extended his own brother the same mercy. He believed Ozai needed to die, when Aang didn't. So Aang is more empathetic, understanding and kind that Iroh.

And do you know what Aang has to say about Azula?

That he believes in her ability to do good and be good. That he trusts her to do so. He could have had her executed. He didn't. He could have taken away her bending. He didn't. He could have said she's born evil and a bad egg. He didn't. He put in a good word for her. He said she did something good. That can be good. THAT'S what the actual most understanding and kind person in the whole franchise has to say about Azula.

"She smiles when-" So did everyone else and so does everyone ever alive when justice is served. Because for the audience, the event was unfair and traumatizing. But for the people of the Fire Nation it was justice. And it's only normal for people to be happy when justice is served. When a groomer goes to jail you don't think "oh, that poor groomer", you think "good, this piece of shit definitely deserved it". Similarly, in the Fire Nation, an imperialistic dictatorship, when someone disrespects their Firelord, which they worship as almost a god (if not more, bc we see them worship their Firelord more often than Agni), and that person gets punished they don't think "oh, that like boy", they think "good, this piece of shit definitely deserved it". That's not called "being a bad egg", that's called propaganda and borderline mass brainwashing.

"She mocks-" She's repeating what she heard from adults in her life. That's not being a bad egg, that's bad parenting.

"She tortures-" Not cannon in any way. We've heard that she threw bread at them. Not only was that told from Zuko's pov, who's known to be a biased narrator when it comes to Azula, but it's also not even that freaking bad. It's bread, when it hits the water it becomes soft. No one ever died because they got hit by a loaf of bread. And she doesn't burn them with.

"Her mother's comments-" Oh, you mean the "what is wrong with that child"? That comment? That comment that was thrown at a child after doing a very normal childlike thing? I used to to play execution with my Barbie dolls and beheading them by pulling off their heads and my least favourites would always be the ones that got executed. Kids break toys they don't value and/or like. Azula is not obligated to like or value a gift that wasn't for her. The doll was a gift for every little girl. It wasn't personal. It wasn't hers. She doesn't have to like or value it. She doesn't have to not break it. The only reason that she chose fire instead of execution is because she had fire handy. That comment Ursa made was absolutely not justified.

"She's never given an excuse-" Not only is this take proof that media literacy is dead, it's flat out anti-intellectualism. We see that Fire Nation schools brainwash kids by shoving propaganda in their faces and we know Azula went in a Fire Nation school. All that's left to do is put 2 and 2 together. It's 4. It's fucking 4. Azula was brainwashed in the Fire Nation school that she went to that brainwashes Fire Nation kids. Canon fact. Use your brain.

"Her vision of what she wants is twisted-" What, exactly, is twisted about wanting to be acknowledged by your family that is proud of you, being loved by your family that is supposed to love you anyway, and completing the mission you've been brainwashed into thinking is the right thing all your life? What is twisted about reaching expectations and having a happy family? I'll wait.

"We're supposed to sympathize with the spi- No, we're not. The spirit is very obviously a liar and a manipulator as we've seen throughout the whole damn comic. And it wants to eat her. The spirit is the villain of the story that has been continuously twisting reality to weaken Azula's ambition and will to fight back, so that it could kill her. By the end of the comic we're supposed to know that the spirit is a full of shit and we shouldn't trust what it says, since all it has said throughout the whole comic is lies. Not sympathize with it.

"Rationalizations of her behavior are believe yet unprovable and based on subtext." It's almost like she's not the main character. The show isn't going to take time diving into her background. They are going to only give us subtext and we have to use our critical thinking skills and come to a believable conclusion, as we do. Zuko loving Ursa isn't outright stated at the show at any point, but we know it's a fact because we see it in the way they interact. We know his mother matters to him because he thinks of her and misses her. That's subtext. And we know Azula is not to blame for the person she was bought up to be because Fire Nation schools canonically brainwash their students. That's subtext. You can't selectively decide that this subtext is enough to prove this point, but that subtext doesn't prove that point because it's not outright stated. That's called double standards.

"The show portrays her as being inherently evi-" The show? You mean the same show that didn't even portray the genocider, treacherous dictator (Sozin) and the abusive, manipulative dictator (Ozai) as inherently evil went out of its way to portray the manipulated, abused, brainwashed child as a bad egg? ...Sure. That's what happened.

"Mai and Ty Lee do the same stuff but are portrayed differ-" No, they are not. Mai is portrayed as somebody who abused the power they have over others, since she views ordering servants around as a fun activity, and as somebody who has no empathy towards their family, as she didn't hesitate to agree that her brother has less worth than a king. Ty Lee is portrayed as sadistic, since she's animated to smirk and sneer while taking down soldiers defending their homes. I think she even goes as far as to mock them at sons point, but take that with a pinch of salt. They are portrayed to be classist, sadistic, unempathetic people that only give a fuck about the select few and mystery everybody else. Y'all just refuse to see it because Ty Lee is cute and is constantly infantilized because of it and because Mai protected your lord and savior, Zuko, right after she was done being classist and unempathetic. They are not portrayed as better, you just go out of your way to portray Azula as worst.

"Even in LoK-" Azula is given Freudian Excuse. You just refuse to see it because, as opposed to Legend of Korra, the creators do not chew your food up and spit it in your mouth for you to swallow. You have to put the pieces of the puzzle together and make realization. Which can understandably be hard for people that have a brain the size of a peanut, like yourself.

"It feels weird for a show like Avatar to imply somebody was evil from birt-" It feels weird because it is weird and it is weird because it's something they would never do which is why they didn't do it. You literally just created this narrative inside of your head while understanding that it goes completely against the philosophy of the show. And now it's weird to you that it doesn't align with the show? Make it make sense.

This isn't asking for an Azula redemption arc (although "this fourteen-year-old who was acting under orders of a tyrannical fire lord can't be redeemed" seems incredibly harsh), this is just me wondering why the writers consistently, across mediums, refuse to suggest that she's even the slightest bit a product of her environment? But Zuko gets a pass for pretty much everything more or less? Alright then lol.

This is close to being the smartest thing you have said during this post. Unfortunately it is easy to notice that some of the creators just don't like Azula. That's it. That's the reason why. They don't like her and they don't want her to have a happy ending. So it's good that somebody else is riding this show now. Faith Erin Hicks, as we see from her comic, is not afraid to treat Azula as the victim she is, and is not afraid to lay the blame on the adults that failed her. As opposed to previous creators, she seems to be willing to apply the general philosophy of the show in Azula's character as well. Which is something she's able to do because Azula is not, in fact, inherently evil. She's a victim of abuse and a manipulated child that has done some very fucked up things but has all her life ahead of her to grow up and be better.

Give us a scene of Ozai molding her into the cruel person she is

Supporting and praising bad behavior is enabling it. A good parent would say "I understand that you were upset at feeling as though you were underestimated when you got efficient results, but it's important to keep your cool and respect your instructors since they have more experience than you. If you feel as though the inability of this instructor to stray from traditional paterns is holding you back, communicate that problem with me, and I'll find you a new teacher if it's necessary." Does Ozai do that? No. What does he do? Praise her. What will Azula do in response? Repeat the same behavior to receive praise again. What is that called? Nursing cruel/bad behavior.

Give us a scene of Azula being at least a normal child at some point.

Stealing sweets at a sleepover and recreating scenes from a movie/play with your sibling? I recall doing both those things as a child. We're talking about universal normal child experiences.

Don't vindicate her mother being cruel.

The narrative itself is not excusing Ursa. Azula herself goes to lengths to hold her accountable, actually. The only ones excusing Ursa's actions are Zuko, who's looking at her through rose colored glasses, because she's one of the first people to show him love, and he wants to sing the best of her, and the fandom, for the same exact reason.

Have Iroh say something slightly more insightful than "she's a crazy bitch leave her alone"

Personally, I don't value Iroh's opinion at all. I think he has to work through the issues that he obviously has with himself, instead of projecting those issues onto Azula, which is what he's doing. But since you care about his opinion so much, here's him saying Azula has the capability to find peace.

Here's an easy one: instead of smiling when Zuko got burnt, Azula looks visually horrified. That tiny, tiny change would've made her far more nuanced! It wouldn't be much, but not only would it make the fire lord's actions seem even worse, it shows us that deep down, she does--or at least, did--care! This is more in line with the show's themes and far more interesting than "she's just gonna be super evil hehe".

Here's the thing. Azula doesn't smile because she's just so "evil hehe". She's smiling because Zuko is receiving a just punishment for his actions. At least as far as she's concerned.

Think about it, in the Fire Nation they treat their King as a god. They pray/say an anthem/swear loyalty to the Firelord and the crown every single day. It should be needless to point out that nobody would question the actions of the Firelord. They would just assume that this is the correct course of action because this is what the Firelord is doing.

Azula not only is a subject of that Firelord but she is the daughter of her father. She was 11 when the Agni Kai. At that age, kids do not question their parents. The think things are right because the parents do it. If Dad is upset with Zuko, then Zuko must have done something wrong, because Dad can't be wrong, he's Dad, he's never wrong.

So both as his daughter and as his subject, Azula has been conditioned from the day she was born to think that he's always right. So when he decides to punish Zuko, that's just another instance where he's right. So why would Azula be upset with him for being right? Especially considering that if she were upset with him, it's possible that you would also receive a punishment for disagreeing with his methods.

So imagine you are Azula. You see your dad, who is always right, and is also your king, who is also always right do something. Anything. Do you think to yourself "Why would he do that? That's bad!" or do you think "He's right for doing what he does because he's always right."? She's under the impression that he's a just ruler and father, so why wouldn't she be satisfied at the sight of him rendering justice to the foolish subject that disobeyed? Especially when having a different opinion can result to being in danger?

Do we get anything from the answer to her personality being "bad egg"?

No, we don't. Which is why this isn't what they did. You just have a false idea of pretty much everything regarding Azula's character and how it was handled.

Thus proven.