#just like the ones that assaulted my parents when I was a child and got me sent to the circle

[galpalaven]

who wants to see Nadia Surana, one of the heroes of the blight and definitely not an abomination, react to Aveline's refusal to investigate that rapist in her guard ranks at the end of Act 2

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

[seonghrtz]

𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑.

synopsis: the first parents meeting. warnings: mentions of blood, bruises, fights and bullying.

Gojo straightened his dark glasses that were sliding down the bridge of his nose. He glanced sideways at Megumi, who sat next to him, still as a statue and with a bored expression on his face; little Fushiguro had his hands in his lap, his knuckles red and bruised. On the other side of the room, two couples were sitting with their children, their faces covered in bruises. ‘At least the brat won the fight,’ Gojo thought, holding back a laugh.

Almost as soon as the principal was about to address Gojo, a knock on the door echoed through the room and soon you appeared, apologizing for being late. A discreet smile appeared on Gojo's pink lips as he followed your movements until you sat down next to Megumi, the albino even noticing your bandaged dominant hand, probably when you had been contacted by the school warning that Megumi was in trouble, you were on yet another of the thousands of missions you did every single day.

But your serious, almost angry expression ⸻ quite different from the serious you were with him ⸻ sent a shiver down Gojo's spine and the tips of his ears turned slightly red.

"Now that everyone is present, I would like to begin this very important meeting. It has been reported that Fushiguro Megumi physically assaulted two classmates during lunch today. According to the two victims of Fushiguro's aggressive behavior, this was not the first time they had been physically assaulted and that Fushiguro had previously threatened them verbally. This behavior is completely contrary to the behavior we are trying to teach at this school, and as a punishment, we have decided that Fushiguro Megumi will be suspended for three days to reflect on his actions.”

"Three days? That's not enough time for this little thug to reflect on his actions, he should be expelled from school, look how he left my dear son". One of the mothers complained.

Gojo was ready to argue with the woman, but was interrupted by your voice.

"Are you sure this really happened?" you asked in a firm voice.

"Excuse me?" The principal looked you up and down, staring for minutes at your bandaged hand, the gauze stained red. "I believe you're too young and not at all likeable to be Megumi's real mother, so I think you're just a guardian, Miss... Miss Kamo," he said after he had read your name from Megumi's file. "Don't you think you're a bit unqualified to take care of a child, considering that Fushiguro had a role model for his aggressive behavior?"

"I think you have as much wrong information about what led to today's event as your wig."

Gojo laughed at your words, dying inside to comment on the director's ill-fitting wig.

"What?" The principal looked at you with an expression of surprise and indignation.

"For about a month now, Megumi has been telling me about a couple of rude boys who were making fun of a girl who was quiet in class and picking on her. I told him to tell the teacher what was going on, but the teacher didn't seem to care. About a week ago, when I went to pick up Megumi from school, a mother stopped me in the middle of the street with her daughter, who was all bruised up, and thanked Megumi for stopping the bullies from hitting her daughter, which happened to be the same day he got a warning about his aggressive behavior. But I don't think those good boys even got a warning for their aggressions against the girl. And so her mother took her out of school and now we're in this meeting because Megumi is violent against ‘good-hearted people’. Don't you think there's something in this story that doesn't quite fit?”

"Are you saying that my son is a bully? What audacity is that, you bitch, you're nothing but a brat!"

"Sir, did you look at the security cameras before you put all the blame on Megumi?" You asked, ignoring the woman.

The principal swallowed and looked at the teacher standing next to him, who was breaking out in a cold sweat from all the talking you had done, knowing that you weren't wrong in a single word.

"Oh, of course you didn't look, that was too much to expect from such incompetent professionals as yourselves." You took a deep breath, "Gojo, you were right when you said that this isn't one of the best schools and they certainly don't live up to their ideals and morals. Let's get Megumi out of here and put him in a better school and make an official complaint about misconduct."

"Ah, finally, can we go now?" Gojo rose from his chair with a sideways smile.

"I think we wasted enough time with an unnecessary meeting." You got up with Megumi to leave the room as quickly as possible.

"Hey, bitch! You think you can just walk away and it's all over?" One of the women said, getting your attention, "Do you really think we're going to let this little shit beat up our kids and get away with it? Besides all the crap you said?"

When the woman least expected it, your bandaged hand passed millimeters away from her face and slammed into the wall behind her, making a terrifying sound. You pulled your hand away from the wall, showing the broken spot where it had hit and a small dead mosquito in the middle of the shattered wall, controlling yourself as much as possible, both in your anger and in the cursed energy running wild through your body. The woman looked horrified at what had happened and at you, who were so close to her, with a serious expression on your face.

"You can say whatever you want about me and use the most offensive words, but don't you dare say anything about my son." Your firm tone made the woman swallow dryly, afraid that one wrong word or movement would fully awaken the beast within you. "Are we clear?" You asked, making the woman nod frantically.

Without saying another word, you left the principal's office with Megumi, but when you looked back, you noticed that a certain albino with bright blue eyes was missing.

Gojo was still in the principal’s office. The boy let out a chuckle that caught everyone's attention, and when they all looked in his direction, he took off his round sunglasses and looked at everyone with his deadly blue eyes.

"I just wanted to warn you, if you mess with my girl, be disrespectful or have the audacity to talk to her, know that I will destroy every single of you and you will be reduced to nothing. Now... if you want to live a long life, I advise you not to even think about her, or I will be the last thing you ever see. It may sound like a joke, but believe me, it's not.”

Satoru smiled briefly and put his glasses back on before leaving the room. The young sorcerer walked with long strides to where you were standing next to Megumi.

"...violence is not always the solution, Fushiguro." You took a deep breath and placed your hand gently on the boy's head. "But I'm proud of you for doing the right thing and not only helping the innocent girl, but also warning someone who could solve the whole situation."

"It is a shame that the 'person who could solve the whole situation' was such a shitty and irresponsible person. But I'm glad you won the fight! My son is not a loser!"

"I'm not your son." Megumi replied with a bored tone.

"Wow, you didn't say anything when Kamo-chan called you her son, but when I do, then I get hit back!" Gojo said dramatically.

"Oh, about that, forgive me, I think I got a little carried away when I said it.”

"It's okay..." Megumi looked away with red cheeks. He wouldn't admit it, at least not at that moment, but a part of him had liked it when you called him son, it made him feel part of something, part of a real family.

"How about some ice cream while we discuss which school to put Megumi in, huh?" Gojo smiled excitedly at the idea of eating something sweet.

"Whatever..." Megumi shrugged.

Just as you were about to speak, your phone rang, interrupting the moment. You pulled it out of your uniform pocket and looked at the number, immediately recognizing that they were ready to send you on another mission. Your eyes flicked from the small screen to Megumi and Gojo, who seemed to be arguing about something completely trivial, causing a small, discreet half-smile to appear on your lips. Quickly, your finger pressed the off button and you put your phone back in your pocket.

"Where's the ice cream parlor?" You asked, getting their attention.

"Who was calling you…?" Gojo asked curiously about your phone call.

"Nobody important. Now tell me where the ice cream parlor is before I change my mind."

"Ah, always so serious, Kamo-chan!" Gojo pouted.

"And stop calling me that!"

"Oh, you hurt my feelings that way... Kamo-chan," Gojo laughed when he noticed your angry look in his direction.

"You were amazing there." Gojo murmured as he cleaned the wound on your dominant hand.

You were sitting on a bench in the bathroom of Satoru's room after a lot of insistence from the albino in front of you. You were so tired after fighting low and medium level curses since the early hours of the morning, with the whole situation with Megumi at school and Gojo's voice in your head, that you finally accepted that Satoru would take care of your injuries.

"Oh, you think so?" You asked dully, "I think I overdid it a bit, especially with the punch on the wall..."

"That was the best part!" Gojo exclaimed excitedly, "You're extremely sexy when you're angry."

"Can we have a normal conversation without you making it awkward?" You rolled your eyes at the albino's comment.

"Okay, okay, if you want to get emotional! Look, what you did for Megumi in that room was unbelievable. That boy looks up to you and you're such an inspiration to him, I could see the happiness in his eyes when you stood up for him. Thank you so much for helping me with all this child care stuff.” Gojo said as he bandaged your hand again, but in the right way and not the messy way it was in the morning, "Aah, when I say nice things you just ignore me, leave me in the lurch, is that it?" he asked when he noticed your lack of response.

"Ah... sorry, well... I don't really know what to say."

"Nah, it's okay, I was just being annoying." Gojo smiled mischievously, "So the part where you said about the principal's wig was so iconic!" Gojo laughed, "It was so crooked, I don't know how no one warned him about it.”

You just watched Satoru give his point of view of the whole situation. In the dim light of the bathroom, with his black shorts and simple white blouse, he looked like a normal teenager, not the most powerful weapon in Jujutsu society. Gojo Satoru was perhaps the most human person you had ever met, even if you only thought of him as the strongest sorcerer of your generation.

But in this light, in front of you, Gojo seemed to be just Satoru. A person without fancy titles who secretly carried a heavy burden. He was just Satoru, a teenager who had lost many things, but who was trying his best to make sure that two children would have different paths than he had, and that they could truly be children without having their childhood stolen from them.

And there, in the midst of his laughter and his ridiculous imitations with exaggerated and dramatic expressions of the event, you felt your heart beat faster.

memory garden masterlist !

☆! tag list: @arminswifee . @khaleesihavilliard . @chieeeeeee . @manooffline . @shybananabagellover . @r0ckst4rjk . @sad-darksoul . @chuluoyi . @stormflysaysstuff . @arminsarlerts

© seonghrtz, 2024. all rights reserved, please do not copy / steal / translate / modify any of my works !

[skulldetergent]

ghost scar headcanons (CW for his backstory)

no tattoo/no text version & explanation under the cut

CW⚠️ discussion of child abuse, torture, self harm & sa

since i headcanon ghost to have quite a few scars, i decided to make a "character sheet" or "scar map" to keep my art more consistent.

in the drawing, the scars are already labeled and i think pretty self-explanatory, but i will go into some more detail and elaborate on my headcanons. again, please read the content warning. i did my best at trying to discuss the following in a sensitive way, but it may be upsetting to read nonetheless.

let's begin with the ones that say "mission". i imagined they are just random scars he sustained during his service over the years, like gunshot scars or knife slashes from close combat.

but others like "roba's hook", the autopsy scar, tally marks, the whip scars and his glasgow smile are from during the time where he was captured and tortured. i headcanon reboot ghost to have pretty much the same backstory as OG ghost, with some slight differences and additions of my own.

things like the glasgow smile or tally marks are made up by me, and others like the being hanged from his ribs actually happened (comics). ghost was also canonically sexually assaulted multiple times, which gave me the idea of said tally marks to emphasise how cruel his captors were.

correct me if i'm wrong, but in the comics ghost doesn't have any scars after being tortured, any cuts shown on his body just cease to exist a few panels later. but considering what he was put through, i do think that there would be permanent scarring.

now, it's also canon that ghost was abused by his father in ways like him bringing large animals such as snakes in his room to scare him, or having him watch a woman die from OD, which made me consider what the full extent of his terrible father's "parenting" must've looked like.

ghost has a small, almost faded scar under his eye, he was too young to remember how he got it, only finding out when his mother told him. his father was being neglectful when he was supposed to watch him, and simon injured himself while wandering around.

now, it is unclear in the comics if mr. riley's abuse was purely psychological, or if it extended to physical as well (again, correct me if i'm wrong). but i didn't find it unrealistic to have the latter be the case, which is why simon has cigarette burn scars on his neck and legs. his father found it amusing under the guise of "making him a man" and seeing how long little simon could take it before he would start crying. nowadays the burns are barely visible.

and lastly, the self harm scars covered up by the tattoo sleeve on his left arm. considering what simon had to go through at an early age, it is not unlikely that he might have resorted to SH as a teenager. and later, he got the tattoo as a reminder to himself that those days are his past and not his present.

i really read the comics and said:

[bones4thecats]

What Are They Like As Parents? - Hazbin Hotel

Type of Writing: Random Idea Characters: Vox, Valentino, Velvette, and Alastor Name: What Are They Like As Parents? Idea-Gifter: Random Thoughts

A/N: This is basically an AU where they married their S/O in real life and had a child with them back then. But, due to issues with birth, their S/O died with the child. So there will be trigger warnings when it comes to that. Also, the type of demon the reader is is listed below! Have a nice rest of your days/nights, my lil bubbles🫧

P.S: The Reader goes through birth, so they're headcanoned as female, but a gender is not fully noted

⚠️ Trigger Warnings: Death, Swearing, Miscarriage, and mentions of Assault ⚠️

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Technological-Demon! Reader ; Medical Technology

📺 Vox and you were very close when alive. Growing up together and eventually falling in love and marrying

📺 Sooner rather than later, you were expecting a baby boy, in which you two decided to name him (M/N). Unfortunately, due to difficulties during birth, Vox had lost not only his unborn child, but he lost his spouse

📺 Ever since that day, the man had driven himself further into his work, trying to push the memories of you both with your bump past him, he didn't want to remember how you smiled so gently at him as you died, or how the doctors tried saving you as blood erupted around your form

📺 It was because of how he held himself to such a low-degree that Vox had passed away, and due to his actions in life, he was banished to hell

📺 He believed he deserved it, but now he could start anew, and that was where he grew back into power and eventually met a fairly new Overlord, one that had your same name

📺 Once he asked you and learned that you and your son were transferred to hell, he grew upset, why on Earth were you, the sweetest being he had ever known sent to hell? And why was his son, who never did anything in life, get sent here?!

📺 Every other Overlord, besides Alastor, was on-edge when your small son crawled out from your hand, being nothing but small shocks before turning into a mixture of Vox and your's demon forms

📺 He just smiled lightly and kneeled in front of his child, patting him on the head and declaring how he'd protect you guys till the end of time, in no way was he going to allow you guys to slip from his grasp again

📺 Now, as your son was made into the form of a young child (4-6), Vox always tried to keep his anger on the down-low. He didn't want his son to only see his father angry and full of rage

📺 While he may seem like a horrible father at first, once he got used to the fact that your child was interested in your occupations, you being a medic of the Overlords and him being the head of VoxTek, he smirked at Valentino and Velvette before holding his child and gloating about his company

📺 Speaking of the other two Vees, they adore your child. Valentino loves to help your son with his social skills, and he tries keeping his business on the down-low around him, he doesn't need to get shocked or nearly have his wings amputated by Vox and you again

📺 Velvette on the other hand, she loves to test her outfits on your child, from helping him find the most suitable outfits to having him listen to something on her phone as she speaks to her two main allies during a meeting, she is honestly a decent aunt

📺 Vox also has a wild obsession with watching Alastor fail, so if he were to ever see the Radio Demon talking to you or his son, he'd lose his shit, not caring who was there to watch

" I swear to fuck, you old-timey shit-stain, if you ever try touching my S/O or my son again, I'll fucking kill you and drag your corpse all around hell for the all people to see. "

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Insect-Demon! Reader ; Rosy Maple Moth

❣️ Valentino and you married quite early in life and had a very active life

❣️ It was due to your shared actions that you found of you were pregnant quite early, which made him try calming down from his actions and begin to coddle you

❣️ Unfortunately for him, your body couldn't quite handle the stress of birth, resulting in your demise, along with your daughter. And due to this event, he was driven mad

❣️ This was where he developed his abusive personality, constantly yelling and assaulting his workers, including Angel Dust when he first arrived and signed a contract

❣️ It took a while, but one he had heard about a new Overlord that looked a lot like Valentino (in terms of species) with a daughter that looked nearly identical, he decided to attend the next meeting without his fellow Vees

❣️ It only took a quick glance for him to know exactly who you were, in life you loved to mess around with roses, so it only made sense that you'd become a demon in relation to that plant

❣️ Once the meeting ended, Valentino walked up behind you and hugged you, wrapping his larger wings around your form as he felt your tiny orange-yellow antenna tickle his chin

❣️ Valentino also loves his baby girl a lot, spoiling the young girl with everything she could ever want

❣️ Once you and her walked back into his life, everyone within his studio learned who you were quickly, you were the long-time spouse of Valentino's, and the father to his young daughter

❣️ They also took notice of how more collected he was, and while he did have his moments of anger, he rarely ever laid a hand on his employees, unless he got angry enough

❣️ Valentino also swore on his afterlife that he would never touch anyone in the ways that he would touch you or your daughter, which allowed your new friend, Angel Dust, to be more free with his time

❣️ Much like Vox, he doesn't seem like he'd be a good parent. And they're kinda right, but only with certain situations

❣️ Valentino doesn't know what to do when it comes to certain scenarios, like when your daughter asked where children came from and you had to wrap your pink and yellow wings around his mouth to silence him from giving a very detailed story of how she came into existence

❣️ Vox and Velvette are also fairly involved with helping him raise his child, Velvette loves to help her dress, from giving her small clips to put in her hair to giving her full-fledged outfits, she spoils her just as much as Valentino does

❣️ Vox also spoils her, but he also knows when to be strict, he mostly just watches her whenever Valentino and you get busy with running the studio in V Tower. He's been declared the 'Godfather'/'Uncle' of your baby

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Bird-Like-Demon! Reader ; Peacock

📳 Velvette and you agreed that you'd raise your child together, despite knowing that it wasn't her own, rather, it was your ex-husband's

📳 He had abandoned you with your unborn baby a few months prior to you and Velvette married, and it was on your honeymoon that you went into labor

📳 Sadly, you had lost the baby, and eventually lost your life due to internal injuries just a few months later, prompting your wife to go a hint overboard with her actions

📳 When she died, she never expected to see you sitting across from her at an Overlord meeting, your long tail feathers falling onto your lap where a small boy sat, playing with them

📳 She looked up in shock as you told her of your son, how you both were banished here, your son due to the fact that he had the potential to due just a horrid things as you, and that angered her

📳 Velvette loves to mess around with your feathers that laid behind your head, the ones that only flare up when upset or feeling any kind of strong emotion

📳 She also adores to have you carry her, since she was fairly short when it comes to sinners, and you were very tall when it came to the species

📳 Now, when it comes to your son, she loves to dress him up, acting as if he was a small mannequin that she needed to make look as gorgeous as possible, and thankfully he looks a lot like you, meaning if something looked good on you, it would no doubt look good on him as well

📳 If your ex-husband ever came by to take his son back, she would straight-up ruin his life, literally. She'd post everything around to make him lose his title, and if that didn't work, she'd just kill him, she doesn't care which he chooses

" I swear to you, (R/N). If you ever, ever, try to come here and demand to have the son that you abandoned in the first place, I will do two things. I'll ruin your fucking afterlife by stripping your title away, and I'll make sure during the next Extermination, you get a very long and fucking long death, try me, bitch-boy. "

📳 Velvette also is a fairly good step-mother to your son, she loves to give him small trinkets she finds around. One time she came home with a small present from the store, and when your son looked at the tiny necklace that opened to show holographic photos of you three together, you couldn't help but fall for her even more

📳 Much like with the other Vees, she does involve Valentino and Vox with her step-child's life

📳 On average, she has Valentino just help watch him, leaving Vox being the head of watching him, she doesn't need to have you on her ass about how Valentino took her son to the studio to observe his work

📳 Vox is the official 'Grandfather' of your son, while Valentino is more like the 'Funcle' of the two

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Mythical-Creature-Demon! Reader ; Wendigo

🔘 Alastor and you shared a lot in common during life, from your cannibalistic and murderous crimes, you both bonded over the fact that you were able to keep it all away from people's eyes, despite your high-ranks in society

🔘 He was the head of his own radio broadcast, while you were the head of a small orphanage that took in any child that was needing a home without any problems

🔘 Ever since Mimzy introduced the two of you and you learned of your situations, you decided to 'help' one another out, and by that, I mean by covering for one another

🔘 This teamwork led to you guys falling in love, in a twisted way that is. He loved you for how you would just casually keep a smile on, and you loved him because of his owl personality

🔘 While many didn't expect him to ever fall in love, due to him being a canonical aromantic, they did find it funny to watch him just smile and treat you like a member of royalty

🔘 He never really did find a need for intimate actions, but one drunken night and a lot of pregnancy tests later, you found of you were carrying his child, alerting him to keep you away from your previous crimes. He didn't need you or the child getting harmed

🔘 Alastor may not have shown it, but he was very heartbroken when the doctor released the news that you had lost your baby, and eventually your own life

🔘 Knowing due to your crimes that you'd end up in hell, Alastor would sit at your grave and speak of how he'd see you sometime soon

🔘 And he was right. He had found you once again during his first Overlord meeting, what he did not expect was seeing your young son sitting on your lap while gnawing on a small hunk of deer meat

🔘 He knew that this was your shared child, and he welcomed the youngling with open arms and a fully-fledged smile, his sharp teeth matching his son's

🔘 Speaking of your son, he loves to spend time with his father, learning how to play the piano and singing old songs with him as you stood off to the side with Husk and Niffty, watching the boys have fun

🔘 Alastor only allows you and your son to really touch him without many warnings, and while it took a lot to get used to, he loves watching him randomly grab his staff and try singing in the microphone

🔘 Much like his father, your son can use tentacles and use his powers to make his voice radio-sounding, and it is the funniest thing to watch members of the Hotel go nuts hearing so much of the noise

🔘 Due to being the son of the Radio Demon and the Wendigo Overlord, many don't even dare trying to touch your son, well, except for Vox and Lucifer

🔘 Vox one time had decided to try holding your son without permission, resulting in him being sent flying across the meeting room by your husband

🔘 And when Lucifer first arrived and began to tickle your son to make him laugh, he stood off to the side with his ears pushed backwards in irritation, watching his son smile by such a fatherly action not being made by him was annoying

🔘 And, because of your declaration, you named the members of the Hotel as your son's 'Godfathers'/'Godmothers', only having Husk and Niffty as the 'Siblings' of your son

[lieslab]

And I'll never go home again

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 X gn reader

Summary: After an awful incident with your parent(s), you find yourself seeking safety within the guys.

Genre: Comfort/hurt with angst

Word Count: 4.6K

Trigger warning: Panic attack, mentions of insults from parents, brief mentions of assault, insecurities, self-hatred, depression, and anxiety.

A/N: This one is kinda sad. It was requested, but it's slightly changed to be more relatable to a general audience. Feel free to imagine another parent or legal guardian where I specifically have father and mother written. I tried to make some neutral, so more people could relate. If you have awful parents, I'm so sorry. I hope you'll be able to find some comfort in this one <3

_ _ _

Chan: 

He drove as fast as he could according to the speed limit. There was nothing more terrifying than hearing your broken sobs on the other end of the phone call. Your heart was taut with hurt and there was nowhere else to go. Nobody else to turn to. You didn’t trust anyone as much as you trusted Chan. 

Every word your mother threw at you was another dagger in your heart. They cut deep and they stuck harshly in your bleeding heart. In the beginning, you couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t get the words out. 

Your fingers shook as you dialed Chan’s number. You knew he was working late, but he always picked up for you. All you could do was suck in a deep breath and hope for the best. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you had a decent relationship with your mother. When was the last time you felt like her child and not some burden? Maybe your womb was rotten from the very beginning. The years flickered by, but your relationship had never been too solid. 

The insults she threw, the hatred she harbored, it was enough to destroy you every single day. Tonight was no different, but your week was rough. You reached your breaking point too easily. 

You tried to keep it all in, the self-hatred, the insecurities, the fear of abandonment, but it was too much to handle alone. That’s why in the middle of her screams, you called Chan. When he first picked up, all he could hear was your heavy and uneven breathing. 

The screams were faint in the background. He had no idea what they were saying, but he knew you lived with your mom. When he called your name with that soft sweet tone, you lost it entirely. Turning into a whimpering wreck of snot and self-pity. You wanted the warmth of a mother, not the monster she had turned into. 

“Chan,” you weakly whispered, “I-I can’t. I-” 

“What’s going on?” 

“M-My mom, she’s-” You were cut off by the insults again. Every negative word she could think of to describe you, she flung it your way. The thick wooden door was no match for the hatred oozing from your mother. 

“I’m coming to get you, okay? I’m coming. Just hang on and don’t hang up the phone. I’ll be right there, just hang on. Can you take a deep breath for me?” 

The lump in your throat made it nearly impossible, but you managed through the sudden congestion. You focused on the shuffling of his shoes on the floor. The sound of his keys jingling. The murmured curses as he hurried to get to you. 

“Just keep breathing for me, yeah? I’m coming to get you and I’ll keep you safe. Don’t hang up on me, alright? You’ve got this, I’m right here. Listen to my voice, you’re not alone.” 

The entire car ride to you, he reassured you that he was coming closer and closer. By the time he pulled up to the side of your house, your mother had left. She was gone, but the aching wounds left behind still lingered. She tore open your heart without a care in the world. Digging her nails into it, she squeezed the juice from it, your soul; all that was left was an empty sack of deflated goo. 

Not wanting to face her wrath again, you opted to sneak out the window. You grabbed your phone, keys, wallet, and stuck one leg over the ledge. You wasted no time sneaking out and shutting the window. Once freed, you rushed towards Chan’s car. 

He climbed out and his heart dropped. You were devastated in the moonlight. Puffy irritated eyes, wet cheeks, and a quivering bottom lip. He didn’t utter a word as he opened his arms out to you. 

You flew into them and wrapped your arms around him tightly. The warmth of his hand traced your back up and down. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you. I’ve got you and I’m never letting go.” 

_ _ _ 

Minho: 

He couldn’t hear you over the loud bangs. He thought he was imagining it in the beginning. He pressed a finger to his ear and his eyebrows furrowed. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! 

“What the hell is going on?” He asked with confusion. “What is that sou-” 

“Get your ass out here right fucking now!” 

His eyes widened in shock at the sound of a deep voice. “Where are you? What’s going on? Are you okay?” 

“Minho, he’s taking off my door. He’s trying to knock it down. I-I’m so scared. He won’t,” fear filled you as there was another loud knock, “stop.” 

“Who?” 

“My father.” 

The rage inside Minho flickered to life and was blinding. He knew what your father was like. You told him all the time and this time was no different. The anger went from orange to fiery red to an electric blue. There were no words to use to describe it other than a pure volcanic molten. It oozed up his arms, crept towards his heart, and followed the pumping blood to his brain. 

“I’m coming right now. Does your father keep the door unlocked this late?” 

“I don’t know. Why does that matter?” Your fingers curled around the phone until they were pale. You were quite literally shaking like a leaf. Every new bang, you assumed you’d be done for. The wood and brass lock wouldn’t keep him out forever.

“I’m coming to pay that bastard a visit, so if you hear me screaming, don’t be alarmed.” 

“Minho, I don’t think yo-” 

“Don’t tell me what to do. You’re in danger and if anything, this is self-defense.” He shoved open the door to the cafe he was in and started to rush in the direction of your apartment. “How’s your door holding up?” 

“It keeps shifting beneath the force of his pounds. I’m really scared and I’m freaking the fuck out.” 

“Does your closet have a lock on it?” 

“No, it’s just a sliding wooden door.” 

“Hide in your closet and buy yourself some time.” 

You shifted from your spot on your bed. It creaked and it sent your father into another burst of anger. A loud crack filled the air as a section of the door splintered. 

“Minho!” You cried out in fear. You rushed into your closet and shifted the door shut. 

“I’m coming up the stairs now. I’m coming, I’m coming.” 

“Be careful.” 

“Maybe your father should be more careful.” 

He knew the layout of your house pretty well. He wasted no time heading up the cement steps with his phone in one hand and a fist in the other. He jerked open the door grumbling and went into the direction of the kitchen. 

Loud bangs rattled the walls and vibrated along the floor. His teeth gritted knowing that you were struggling and terrified behind your bedroom door. He ducked down to a cupboard, grabbed a skillet, and stood back up. 

“I’ll be right there, give me a moment.” 

You stayed quiet as the door began to splinter more. Your father’s screams were reaching your ears easily. The safety that your room once provided had been broken. 

“Hey, fuckwad!” Minho called out angrily. When your father spun around with a bulging forehead vein, a red face, and wild eyes, he swung. 

The sound of the thump caused him to crumple to the floor. When he tried to get up, Minho whacked him again in the back of the head. “That’s for being a dickhead, you dickhead.” He called out your name and pulled the phone back up to his mouth. “You can come out now, he’s out cold.” 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem, now let’s go to that new cat cafe.” 

_ _ _ 

Changbin: 

“Do you know what time it is?” Changbin muttered with a sleepy-laced voice. In his bedroom, he was barely coherent with what was happening. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. 

The moment he heard his phone ring, it knocked him right out of his blissful sleep. On the other end of the line, you stayed quiet for a moment. Your lips pinched together and you shut your eyes as his sleepy voice continued to speak and call your name. 

“Are you even there? If this is a prank call at this hour, it’s so not funny. I have work in the morning and I-” 

“Do you ever sometimes think you were a mistake?” Your voice was hoarse as you spoke. 

“Huh?” 

“A mistake,” you repeated yourself. “Do you ever find yourself wondering why you were born or what your life purpose is?” 

He blinked a few times, waking up a little more, and yawned. “Why are you asking me this at two in the morning? What’s going on? Did something happen?” 

“My mom and I got into a huge fight earlier. She said she was tired of me and she called me worthless. It wasn’t enough though, so she began to tell me that I was a mistake.” 

“You’re not a mistake.” 

“I feel like a mistake,” your voice started to become hoarse. “I feel like every negative thing that anyone has ever said about me is true. I don’t understand why you choose to have me in your life and I-” 

“I choose to have you around because I care about you. You’re sweet, kind, and compassionate. You make me laugh when I’m feeling down and I know that you’ll do anything for me just as I’ll do anything for you.” 

A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed a few times. “Do you really mean it or are you just saying that out of pity?” 

“I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Do you remember that time when I was feeling sad, so you treated me to dinner? How about that time when I couldn’t get that one song right. You pulled me away and sucked away the cycle of static that I was going through. When I came back, I finished the song without a problem.” 

“Why are parents so mean sometimes?” You weakly uttered. 

“Parenting is hard and sometimes parents don’t understand what they’re saying. Some will say whatever it takes to hurt you because they want you to feel as shitty as they do. It’s not for everyone, but you deserve a good mother.” 

“You’re one of the best people I know,” he continued. “I wouldn’t be who I am today without your help. You’ve helped me grow and change in ways that you wouldn’t understand. You’ve helped ignite my passions and kept me alive. Your mom has no idea what she’s talking about. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Close your eyes and let me talk. I’m gonna tell you a bedtime story, so you can have some good dreams. Don’t let your mother’s words get into your head. You’re so strong and I’m proud of you. You’ll never be worthless as long as you stay true to yourself. 

_ _ _ 

Hyunjin: 

Another long day had been spent in the recording booth at the JYP building. On a mission to unwind before nightfall, Hyunjin had his headphones in his ears and listened to the new playlist he created last week. 

The sun was setting and slathered the sky in blush pinks, soft blues, and ethereal hues of purple. It was one of his favorite parts of the day. To calm down and take it all in, to suck in this small sweetness; if nothing else was going right, at least, he had this. The sky, the scent of cherry blossoms, the curling leaves, the chill from snowflakes. The little things that added up and made life worth it. 

He was taking a second lap around town when his phone began to buzz and the soft melody was cut off. He jerked his phone out of his pocket and upon seeing your contact name, he swiped and spoke. “Well, hello there.” 

“Hyunjin?” You barely got his name out before your voice wobbled. Small thumps and shifting could be heard behind you. 

“What’s up?” 

“What are you doing right now?” 

“I’m just out and about. I’m walking around town and enjoying the sunset.” His foot went out and he kicked a stray pebble. It rolled down the sidewalk and came to a stop near a business. He reached out a foot and kicked it again. 

“Oh.” 

“Oh? That doesn’t sound too good. What’s up and what’s wrong?” 

“It’s been a really long day,” you uttered. “Besides that, I’m packing.” 

“Are you going on vacation?” 

“My dad is kicking me out.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me. My dad is kicking me out. I’ve been too fed up with him and his attitude. He’s had too much of me. Tonight we bucked heads and he snapped. He told me to get my shit and get out, so I’m packing.” 

He stopped in his tracks and clenched pale fingers around the phone tighter, “but you have nowhere else.” 

“I was going to call and ask if you could drop me off at a motel. I have some money and I-” 

“Stay with me.” 

“You know I can’t burden you like that. You live with Cha-” 

“He doesn’t care and neither do I. Come live with me. Come live with me until you find your own place. You know how much you mean to me. My problems are yours and yours are mine.” 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You shut your eyes on the other end of the phone. A huge weight lifted off your shoulders. You should have known he would have offered, but you still felt like a burden. 

“Only about a few thousand times. Live with me and I’d like to get that number up to the millions. You know I love people who love me.”

The teasing in his tone caused a smile to pull at the corners of your mouth. Warm tears slipped beneath your eyelids and coated your cheeks. You wiped them away with a sleeve and sniffle. “I’ll be waiting for you.” 

“No worries, I’m coming, just hang tight.” 

_ _ _

Han: 

“Hello, hello, hello. Guess who!” 

“I have your number saved, idiot,” you mumbled. 

“And here I thought you’d be excited to talk to me.” 

“I can’t talk for long.” 

“Why?” 

“I’m on a plane.” 

The red grape dropped from Han’s hand, bounced along the table, and rolled onto the floor across the way. His jaw dropped and he glanced at the clock. It was almost ten in the evening, way too late for a normal flight to take place. You were always a morning person and hated staying up late. 

“What do you mean? Why are you on a plane? For what? Why? What’s going on? You’ve never mentioned a trip.” 

You shifted and slumped down in your seat. The spot next to you was empty and you were grateful for it. “It was an impulsive decision. I just needed to get out of my house and clear my head. I booked a flight across the country and I don’t know. I just needed time to think, I guess.” 

“Is this about your parents?” 

“What do you think?” You mumbled. “I’m really at my breaking point and I don’t know what to do. I just needed to be somewhere that wasn’t so suffocating. No screaming, no verbal abuse, no walking on eggshells. I need the beach, the scent of salt, and the waves lapping at my feet.” 

“You deserve a lot better. I won’t take up too much of your time. I know you must be full of a lot of overwhelming thoughts, but please don’t shut me out of your life.” 

“I’m not shutting you out.” 

“I’m one of the closest people to you and I never would have known you’re skipping town if I hadn’t called you.” 

You shut your eyes and swallowed the lump in your throat. You were good at this. You were good at shutting people out because it was easier that way. It was easier to slam the closet doors shut instead of being open and addressing the species of demons that sat collecting dust on the shelves. Every so often, they wormed their way out and began to crawl around. 

Self-hatred, insecurities, comparison, and the words thrown like a bucket of ice water from your parents. You were a wreck and you were about to crash. This impulsive trip was just more proof of that. 

“What if one day you realize who I really am?” You whispered into the phone. Your head shifted and leaned up against the open window panel. You glanced down to find a staff member in a neon yellow vest heading towards the front of the plane. “What if you realize I’m a monster like my parents have?” 

“You’re far from a monster. A monster wouldn’t offer to pay for my coffee. They wouldn’t let me ramble about my worst days. A monster wouldn’t hold me after I cried buckets of tears over a reality TV show. There’s nothing wrong with who you are and I love who you are.” 

A faint voice entered his ear as a lady came over the intercom. You glanced up to see a flight attendant begin to announce the instructions for the flight. “I’ve gotta go.” 

“You’ll come back after this, right? You won’t just leave me here? You won’t disappear into the abyss forever?”

“For you, I won’t disappear. I’ll come back and let you cry all over that stupid romance show again. I’ll hold your hand while we go for walks. I’ll let you show me your favorite anime.” 

“I’m holding you to that.” 

“I promise.” 

_ _ _

Felix: 

The world was a little blurry as you stepped upright to the white door. You reached out and knocked a few times. Exhaustion hung heavy from your limbs and caused your head to droop to your chin. Like a lost puppy dog, you had nowhere else to go. 

There was a click of the lock and the door was pulled open. When you glance up, your single working eye found Felix. Relief floated through you and you felt like you could finally breathe. 

“What the hell happened to your eye?” 

You had been nursing the black eye since the early hours of the morning. A fight with your step-parent had gone out of control. You snapped at something they said and then they swung. You didn’t have time to step back as their pointed knuckles caught your eye socket. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Can I just come in? I really don’t want to be alone right now.” 

Felix opened the door wider and let you come inside at your own pace. Worry was sewn into his furrowed brows. He scanned your face, trying to figure out how he could help you. A purple bag sat beneath your other eye, you looked rough. 

His hands approached your shoulders and he gently led you over to the couch before pushing you down onto the cushions. “Was it the step-parent?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“They’re such an asshole. I’m going to go get some ice for you. Just stay there and don’t think about leaving the couch. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.” 

When he came back with a small ice pack he frowned at you. Your head laid against the side of the couch and you seemed as if you wanted to cry. No tears came out of the swollen eye. Beaten purples, puffy brown, and a tinge of cold blue encapsulated your eye. Your eyelid was so swollen that it had been pressed shut. You were only seeing the world around you with one eye. 

As carefully as he could, he eased himself down beside you, gently touched your shoulder, and tugged you towards him. You shifted and let yourself be pulled onto his lap. He slowly pressed the ice against your eye and your other eye instinctively shut as you winced at first. 

“You’re sure you don’t want to discuss it?” 

“It was a really bad fight.” 

“I can see that.” 

“Do you think I’m insufferable?” 

“Never. No matter what was said, you’re not who they claim you are. You’re one of the best people out there and I adore you with every fiber of my being. Just sit here and let me take care of you. Let me hold you for a while, okay? Let my body heat remind you that you’re not alone.” 

“I think I’m going to cry.” 

“Cry all you want. I’ll be right here if you want to get it off your chest. Go ahead and let it out, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” 

_ _ _

Seungmin: 

“You are the most worthless and inconsiderate person I’ve ever met! You are nothing, but a brat! A stupid and unloving brat! A selfish cunt! I wish I would have never given birth to you! If I could take it back, I would. Nine months utterly wasted. I wish you would have died instead of popping out of the womb!” 

In the hallway, Seungmin froze at the screaming. The door to your shared bedroom was closed and faint sniffles could be heard. What the hell was going on? He stepped forward to check on you.” 

“Stop ignoring me, you bitch. I know you’re receiving all my phone calls. You can ignore me all you want, but you’re rotten on the inside. I hope you listen to these voicemails and I hope you kill yourself. Do yourself a favor to this entire family and-” 

He rushed forward to the door and shoved it open. When he spotted you, you were laying on the perfectly neat bed. Your phone was on your chest face down. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you listened to the voicemails. You were so preoccupied that you didn’t even realize Seungmin had entered the room. 

“Who is that?” He suddenly called out to you. 

Your head snapped over and you clicked your phone off. “Nobody,” you muttered and wiped at the tears on your cheeks. 

“Don’t lie to me, who is that?” 

“A pissed off parent.” 

“Why the hell are they talking to you like that?” 

“They hate me.” 

“And I hate them.” His hand stretched out toward your phone. You didn’t fight it as he pulled it from your grip. He entered your passcode and went directly to your voicemail box. “Oh my god, how many of these have they sent?” 

“Twelve.” 

“And you’ve listened to them all?” 

“Repeatedly. Good to know that my brain isn’t the only one that hates me, huh?” You weakly smiled and a defeated laugh fell from your chest. Your arms remained limp above your head. 

You had submerged your brain in the voicemails. For the past half-hour you had been relistening to them over and over and over again. Forcing yourself to continuously endure the hatred shooting from their mouth. 

One-by-one, he deleted every single voicemail. When he was finished, he went into your call log and blocked the number. “You’re not listening to that bullshit anymore.” 

“Too late for that.” 

He shoved your phone on the side table, crawled into the bed beside you, and curled up next to you. “I’m not going to let you believe that bullshit.” 

“I thought you hated me too.” 

“Teasing is different from verbally harassing someone so much that they start to get depressed.” He wiggled closer, shoved his arms around you, and pulled you tight against him. “I think I should do this more often.” 

“You don’t like cuddles.” 

“Yeah, I do. I just can’t tell you that because you’ll take advantage of it. You just lay there and look pretty and let me do the cuddling and the talking. Where should I start? Your nose? Your eyes? Oh, how about your hair!” 

“They’re too big, the color of shit, and greasy.” 

“Shut up and let me compliment you. You don’t see yourself like I see you. If you interrupt me, I’m gonna tickle you.” 

“Do not!” 

His fingers shot out against the sides of your ribs. You squirmed, but couldn’t fight the smile that crept upon your face. “Stop! Stop!” His fingers lightly danced along your skin as your laughter bubbled up and brightened up the room. 

It was the best sound he ever heard in his life. 

_ _ _

Jeongin: 

It had happened so fast, it nearly gave him whiplash. One moment the two of you were sprawled out on the couch and watching a new show. You were both laughing and making silly commentary. The lightheartedness was something he cherished. 

He got up for a few minutes to use the bathroom. The tacos from lunch had left his bowels in turmoil. You insisted that he needed to try refried beans in his taco. He only had two, but it was enough that he had been running to the bathroom off and on for the past few hours. He swore he’d never do it again. 

He was expecting to come back to you teasing him. Sure, it’d leave him mortified, but he’d throw it back in your face. He’d blame you since you recommended that he’d consume them. The two of you would continue teasing each other until you broke into a fit of giggles. 

What he hadn’t expected was the tears in your eyes as you sniffled on the couch. Your phone was pressed against your ear and your bottom lip was quivering. The sight was so alarming that he rushed towards you, worried that some kind of emergency had happened. 

“Baby?” He called out softly. 

You didn’t respond, but that’s when he heard the yelling pressed against your ear. Your mother’s voice was so loud that he could hear it when he got closer. He pulled the phone away, but it was far too late to take back the horror that you had heard. 

He quickly ended the call and dropped your phone on the couch cushion before he dropped down beside you. His eyes scanned your face as he tried to find some sort of understanding, but nothing was making sense. 

What happened? What was going on? Why had your mother yelled at you like that? 

You struggled to keep it together and soon you burst. A whimper fell from your throat, his hand found your thigh, and that’s when you broke down sobbing. Through tears you sputtered about the rocky relationship with your mom. 

You talked about how awful it was, how much it hurt you, and how much you hated it. The name calling, how she blamed you for every wrongdoing in her life, she blamed everything on you. You were her kid, but had never been treated like it. If anything you were more of a hindrance to her life somehow. 

You collapsed in his arms and he pulled you against him tightly. “Please don’t cry, you know how much I hate it when you cry. I can’t handle it, baby. You’re going to make me cry.” 

“I-I’m sorry.” 

He squeezed his arms around you tighter and gently rubbed your back more and more. He uttered affirmations and reassured you that your mother was in the wrong. No mother should ever treat her kid, no matter how old, the way she had treated you. 

By the time he finished, your head was propped on his shoulder. Soft hiccups jolted your body every few moments. His hand continued to rub reassurance into your back. The other hand was along the back of your head. 

Maybe if he pressed you into him long enough, you’d be able to understand just how much he loved you. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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[ssa-atlas-alvez]

What about something to do with reader previously fighting back against/killing an abusive parent and a case comes up with the bau which brings it all to life..?

Hiya, hope this is okay! I didn't go into too many sad emotions lol, but hopefully this is okay :)

Description: reader gets dragged back to his hometome, but reunites with his younger brother.

Warnings: child abuse, abuse, murder, alcohol mentions, assault, previous arrests, custody battles, death of a parent

“This week’s case my fine furry friends, you are all heading to Oregon. The homeland of the one and only (Y/N).” Penelope said, pointing the bippy at you. You give a small smile, not having the heart to tell her you were hoping to keep that particular cat in the bag. “So this unsub is targeting unsavory individuals, first, this man. Robert Davis, 42, father of three. Total slime ball, an abusive drunk who is particularly fond of driving under the influence.”

You all looked at the photos now on the board. “Now, up next, same thing. Derek Harris. Father, this time 53, abusive, drinks on occasion.”

“Okay, so he’s got a type.”

“How long between victims?”

“Only four days.”

“How long does he keep them alive?”

“Only a few hours, before he dumps them on the door of their house.”

“He dumps the bodies at their house?” You asked, frowning.

“Why?”

“It’s like a gift.” You theorised, “I know what he was doing so I took revenge for you.”

“Some gift.” Prentiss said, turning back to the file.

Not long after, you were all on the jet on your way to Oregon. The briefing didn’t take long, just a few rough ideas exchanged and Morgan asking if you were excited to go home, you were not. 

“Hotchner.” Hotch answered the phone before the end of the second ring. “You’re sure? Okay. We’ll make sure to send some agents there when we land. It’s alright, I’ll let him know. Thank you.” And with that, Hotch hung up again.

The air was a little tense, to say the least. “Another body turned up?” Rossi asked. Hotch just gave a nod.

“Already?” Reid’s eyebrows furrowed. You watched your boss closely for a few seconds.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Is all you ask.

“Yes.” Is his response. “The ME just identified him.”

“Who found him?”

“(Y/N)…”

“Hotch, who found him?”

“Your brother.”

You sighed, looking away. “He okay?”

“He’s alright. Paramedics checked him over, he’s at the station waiting for us to land.”

You give a small nod. “He’s okay?”

“He’s okay.” Hotch said, voice a little more gentle now. The team watched you cautiously, all concerned.

“Who was the latest victim?” Reid asked, frowning slightly.

“Er, Lee (L/N).”

“(L/N)?” Morgan asked, turning to face you.

“My dad.” You gave a small nod. 

“Which means we’re going to have to dive into your life,” Hotch explained, his face was his usual stern expression, but you could see the understanding in his eyes.

“I know.” You gave a small sigh. “I was arrested for assault when I was eighteen - I just broke his nose. No charges were pressed or anything.”

“What happened?” JJ asked.

“Er, I saw him hit my brother.” You gave a small nod. “And he didn’t press charges on the condition I moved out. So, I moved out. I tried fighting for custody but with that arrest, the courts weren’t having it.”

“They wouldn’t let you have custody?”

“Nope, not even with our medical records.” You gave an awkward shrug, “I tried multiple times, Declan ended up in the hospital once or twice. I lived in a small town, and everyone just… turned a blind eye to it.”

“That’s horrible…” JJ said. “They turned a blind eye? Just like that?”

“Yep. And then after the second custody battle and I was doing a food shop and I saw my dad hit Declan again. That time, I landed my dad in hospital.”

You were silent for the rest of the ride, preferring to sit inside your own head than interact with the outside world.

As soon as the jet landed, you, Spencer, and Hotch headed to the police station, the others dividing themselves between the different crime scenes. You follow the secretary’s vague motion to a room at the back of the station. It takes you thirty seconds after to realise she was in your grade in school. You purposefully ignored that and gave the door a light knock before opening the door. 

“Declan…” You had prepared for the worst. You were expecting him to hate you, you had left the day you turned eighteen. Granted, it wasn’t exactly a voluntary leave, but you still left.

“(Y/N),” Declan looks up, smiling a little when he sees you. His eyes are bloodshot.

“Hey.” You said softly, "How are you feeling?"

Declan gives a small shrug and you give a quiet sigh, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Come here," You said, opening your arms. He stares at you for a moment before letting himself lean against you.

You wait until you've both calmed down before speaking again. “We need to talk, kid…”

“I know.” Declan gave a small tight lipped smile. You sit down next to him, sighing slightly as you did. “They don’t think you’re involved, do they?”

“Nah, I’ve got an alibi I cleared with my boss.”

Declan nods, “Good. So I’m assuming your team know?”

“Yep.” You sighed, turning to face him. “Look, Declan-”

“You don’t need to apologise.”

“Yes, I do. I left.”

The teen rolled his eyes, “You’re actually thick. You didn’t leave, dad basically kicked you out.”

“I should have fought to stay.” You argued.

“Yeah, and he would have killed you.” He said. “Besides, I was fine.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah. Most of the time dad was too caught up in his drinking to care.” Declan gave a small shrug. “So… what’s going to happen to me?”

“Well, if you want, I’ve got a spare room that I could let you have. I suppose.” You said, a small smile tugging at your lips. 

“Yeah, I guess. If I had too.” Declan grinned slightly. 

“Sounds good.” You gave a nod, “We can sort everything else out later. And, if you want - since our house is sort of a crime scene, you can bunk in my hotel room.”

“Perfect, free hotel room.” Declan smirked.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “I gotta go talk to my team, you okay in here?”

“Yes, old man. I’m fine.” 

You placed a hand on your chest dramatically as you left. 

“Everything okay?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah. I think so.” You said, giving your boss a small smile. “As well as it can be right now, anyway.”

“He seems resilient.”

“He is.” You gave a small nod. “You don’t mind if I stay for a while after the case to sort everything up here out, do you?”

Hotch shook his head, “Not at all. Take all the time you need.”

[itsonlybaby]

˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝜗℘

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬

ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒smut﹒fluff﹒angst

﹒ ◠ list under cut ! ͘ ౨ ⸝⸝ most rec ꒰ twt links

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐲 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫

　birthday wish - ModernAU! Throwing a surprise birthday for Murphy, but what happens if the guest of honor is late for the party?

　mine - Murphy was always protective of you, so when he thought Jasper sparked an interest in you- he was quick to shut it down. 　the moon, the sun - When Titus died you set out in search of a new fleimkepa, only finding Murphy; a misunderstood roach. 　full of hate - You hated Murphy since you landed on the ground, you didn't expect him to awaken something in you.

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　useless - you feel useless to the people of Arkadia, maybe Bellamy could help with that. 　wooden deer - you met in the shop's area of Polis, you trading Bellamy a small wooden sculpture, which he kept. Thinking of you every day, every day for 2,026 days. 　divine - ever since the massacre of the grounder army he's been different, but you don't give up on him 　haircuts - bellamy noticed you have been losing sleep over your son, so he decided to help out. Only, he doesn't stop helping out.

　failed mission - Azgeda assassins are supposed to be stone-cold, and feel nothing, but what happens when a certain boy tries to gain your trust 　jealous meeting - bellamy calls a group meeting to decide certain defense plans and catch up with everyone, but his jealousy gets the best of him. 　longing dreams- you had a dream about your best friend Bellamy, and you try to suppress the feelings by avoiding him. Bellamy doesn't let this slide. 　flowers of you - when the second praimfaya hit you thought you were the last person on Earth, until the group came back down, landing in your valley. 　the wolf and the lamb - you stumble across a knocked-out person, doing the only thing you can do you save him; not knowing with that would lead to. 　pyramid - it wasn't uncommon for you to flirt with Bellamy, but it was unusual for him to flirt with you back. 　friends with benefits - you and Bellamy were friends, friends who often did each other favors.

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　whenever you want - you've been crushing on Monty for years now, and you decide it's time to give him a hint, which doesn't go as planned

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐉𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐞 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　  loading. . . 

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐨𝐚𝐧 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　 loading. . .

 　　　　　 ୨୧ 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐭 . ৎ .ᐟ ۫ 　sneaky memories - You got captured in Bardo, and while Levitt was sifting through your memories he came across a more private one.

ㅤㅤㅤ౨౿ ﹒𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 ㅤ

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨﹒

⸝⸝ incest ╰﹐siblings, parent/child, cousins

⸝⸝ pedophilia ╰﹐if the reader or character is a minor I won't do it

⸝⸝ inflation

⸝⸝ sexual assault ╰﹐this goes for cnc, and rape

⸝⸝ scat play ╰﹐piss, and shit

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨﹒

⸝⸝ safe age gap ╰﹐they are still of age, but there's a gap

⸝⸝ stalking ╰﹐not yandere stalking

⸝⸝ twt smut visuals ╰﹐twitter porn I think matches a character's vibe

⸝⸝ anything else you can think of ╰﹐if I don't like your request, I wont write it, but that's rare

ㅤㅤㅤ౨౿ ﹒𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞

　just call me baby.

　i am 19 years old, this is my main blog that I've now abandoned but cant delete > @saturdaykrualt

　my discord is 'itsjustbaby'

　im really passionate about creative arts, such as painting, writing, and music.

　i have to listen to music while writing, here's the playlist!

　and this is my main playlist

ㅤ ˖ㅤ ㅤ۫ ㅤ if you have any questions don't be scared to ask﹗✦

　

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Sep 5th

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1. Hello :)

I'm looking for this fic where lwj, jwy and maybe some others use wwx's inventions to travel back in time to before wwx was brought to yunmeng after wwx died and both lwj and jwy have all these plans to make wy's life better. lwj wants to bring him to gusu while jwy is planning to make his mother treat him better.

But, plot twist, the years pass and wwx hasn't been found and the time travellers start theorising that because it was his invention, maybe it pulled him back w/ them. later on, my is killed further establishing their theory that wy is alive and avoiding them. this goes on for years until the wen discussion conference when the top shooter is an archer from the wen sect named wei ying. the closing line of this fic was jwy, lwj and the others thinking that the sunshot campaign has been lost before it even started.

Also, there was a flashback showing that wrh's spirit had lingered after his death and he saw everything that happened after. so, when he saw them making the time travel array, he entered and went back with them. also, he was the one who killed my, I think by slitting his throat.

I don't remember if this was a multi chapter fic or not (I'm only like 60% sure it was), but I remember one of the author's notes saying that while jwy is saying that he'll make his mother treat wwx better this time, he knows deep down that this isn't true and that his form of love is selfish.

Hi again. I'm #1 from the sept 5th fic finder and I'm sorry, but it wasn't sunset, sunrise. It was more jwy-centric, and it's implied that wrh is still planning a war

NOT FOUND! Sunset, Sunrise by Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte) (T, 41k, WWX & WRH, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Crack, Temporary Character Death, sorry I killed a-Yuan for a few paragraphs before the time travel, WWX is a Wen, Genius WWX, WRH gets to rewatch the series as a treat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, in this house we acknowledge that all the sects have flaws, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, WWX Has ADHD, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Autistic LWJ)

FOUND? Lost Oppurtunities by Scarlet914 (T, 5k, JC & LWJ, WWX & WRH, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, JC Needs a Hug, Sad JC, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC-centric, Golden Core Reveal, Sad LWJ, Sad LXC, BAMF WWX, YLLZ WWX, POV WRH, Qishan Wen Sect Wins the Sunshot Campaign, Gusu Lan Sect, YZY Bashing, Bad Parent YZY, Mentioned JYL, One-Sided WangXian, WWX is a Wen, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX)

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2. hi thank you for all you do! i’m looking for a fic that starts during the cloud recess arc. wei ying steals lan zhan’s clothes/blankets and makes a nest on his bed? and lan zhan notices someone is stealing his laundry but doesn’t immediately realize it’s wei ying? @hashtagad

FOUND! this mattress is a desert island by bbyminmaki (E, 19k, wangxian, A/B/O, no sunshot au, mating cycles/heat, nesting, omega WWX, alpha LWJ, getting together, scenting, pining, friends to lovers)

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3. Hello! I have a request for ficfinder!

I don't remember much about it, but Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were married (it was not post canon) and Wei Wuxian was walking in the woods at Cloud Recesses without his sword, and Su She attacked him. Wwx was able to dodge Su She's attacks. Su She was insulting Wwx and his relationship with Lwj, and Wwx was taunting him for being jealous. But then Lan Xichen showed up and was really angry at Su She. I think Su She got exiled and Wwx was kind of uncomfortable with that punishment, but the Lans were like "he attacked an unarmed person in the woods, even if you weren't married to Lwj, exile is a light sentence." I cannot for the life of me remember anything else about that fic, just that I think it was kind of long?

Thank you all so much!

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) They aren't married yet when that happens, but very engaged.

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4. Hi! This is for fic finder. Ithink this fic is about LWJ and WWX in arranged marriage. I think its for LWJ protection (? Not sure about this part). Then WWX is sent to a war but failed to come back and declared as dead. LWJ become a widow (it is a correct term?). Because he is still young, many pressed him to remarried, but he use a griefing period to avoid that. I think he write a poem and become famous because of those romantic poem and ballad using a fake name. And then near the end there are a negotiation to exchange prisoner and WWX is not one of them (?) It was revealed that someone want him dead and dont want him be rescued (i think it was yxy?). A yuan, who should not be there tells lwj about wwx. Wwx then rescued and the three of them in the inn. As wwx rest there, JWY visited and talked. Lwj then bring wwx and a yuan to his house in capital. I think there are a sheep/goat involved?. Wwx healed but there are some injuries that cant be fully healed. I think because of that he cant do something he was proud of doing. I dont remeber if it was his hand or leg or maybe his eyes?. I think then lqr teach wwx something. Thats all i can remember. Thanks

FOUND! ❤️ Where the nightingales are singing, and a white moon beams. by Moominmammashandbag (M, 52k, wangixan, jin zixuan & lan wangji, no powers au, grief/mourning, aftermath of war, angst w/ happy ending, reunions, fluff & smut)

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5. Hiiii, can u pls help me find a fuc where lwj plays cleansing gor wwx coz if he does that wwx will be free of resentful energy but his body is literally held together by resentful energy so it almost kills him but wen qing saves him and the core secret is also revealed. Pleaseeree help me find it, thanks!

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

FOUND?🔒A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX's questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding)

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6. Hi! For the fic finder

I have scoured ao3 dark lan zhan tag and similar but I still can't find this fic. I remember Lan Zhan gets like cursed (i think he got the curse from a junior accidentally) and the curse like lowers his self control and amplifies darker urges so he takes wei ying to a cottage to live his domestic dreams but at some point wwx realizes lwj is isolating them and wwx tries to trick him to send a letter to lan sizhui. This doesn't work abd LWJ doesn't realize he is cursed. The curse like hides the mark too i think?? It ends happily I think.

I wonder if I'm mixing fics or it's been deleted bc I just can't seem to find it?? Thank you in anycase!

FOUND! Clouded by diamondbruise (M, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Case Ficish, Curses, Dark LWJ, It's a curse, Dubcon Kissing, Jealousy, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubious Consent, no sex in this fic just in general)

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7. Hi! This is for fic finder. Qin Su ressurected someone (either wwx or jyl im not sure but i think it was wwx). Whoever in that body now do qin su duty and trying to make her own power without jgy knowing. And then there was a flood. She help people there as expected, but she do her duty too competent. JGY now suspect it was not QS in that body and confront her. Thats all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

NOT FOUND!🔒Everyanything by deliciousblizzardshark, lingeringdust (E, 46k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Franken-canon, Gender Identity, Gender Dysphoria, Trans WWX, Protective LWJ, Accidental Baby Acquisition, tCanon-Typical Misogyny, Fluff and Angst, Vaginal Sex, Canon-Typical Major Character Death)

NOT FOUND! the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, wangxian, qingli, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, slightly dark!JYL, wq lives because i said so, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, manipulative relationship (background xiyao))

~*~

8. Hello! I'm trying to remember the name of a long fic where wx are hooking up, no relationship. Wwx will come to lwj's super nice modern apartment, they'll have sex in lwj's big modern bed with a moving headboard that exposes restraints and then after wwx will take a bath and sleep in the guest room. Does this ring any bells?

FOUND? A Sure Thing by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 95k, WangXian, Modern, Sugar Daddy, Sex Work, Light Dom/sub, Aftercare, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Bondage, use of sex toys, boundary setting, Relationship Negotiation, many baths, Barebacking)

FOUND? show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending)

~*~

9. please help oh wonderful mods : a favorite Cloud Recesses Study AU with injured talisman genius Wy, ace Jin Zixuan, good mother Jin, WY explodes badguy Wen’s heads - couldnt find it again!! @oldoni

FOUND! 🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

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10. hi i’m looking for a fic i read a long time ago. it was a post-canon jc & wwx reconciliation fic. i believe it was jc and an oc jiang disciple on a night hunt where they ran into wangxian who were also working on that case. i remember there was some sort of misunderstanding regarding this (i think he found some letter?) but not the exact details of it. one scene i remember clearly was jc finding out wangxian were married and being a little hurt that he wasn’t invited. after they opened up, wwx told him he was there for it and when jc realized he meant the two bows in the jiang ancestral hall, he said smth like jyl would be rolling in her grave and demands a proper ceremony i think @nalalie

FOUND!🔒asunder by alessandriana (M, 51k, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, WangXian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Reconciliation, Golden Core Reveal, Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Death, Case Fic)

~*~

11. Hello to fic finder so here's what I'm trying to search for I remember it as a podfic and I remember it was in Lan zhan POV I think and it was like him thinking about wei ying leaving the cloud recesses soon and I remember one Pacific scene where Wei ying was teaching the baby Lan how to sew their clothes

FOUND? [Podfic] And Yet Here You Are by zaffre (T, 1-1.5H, WangXIan, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Location: Cloud Recesses, settling down, LWJ needs a hug, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, People being nice to wwx is my kink, And probably lwj's kink too huh, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ, And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea)

~*~

12. hi! i’m looking for a fic where lan zhan has a type of hanahaki where he has a tree/plant growing roots in his back that he removes a few times. i believe he also worked with textile production and the fic itself had a very stylized writing and was quite angsty. thank you!!

FOUND? The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart (E, 104k, wangxian, modern, fashion au, garment company, casual sex, group sex, implied/referenced cheating, switching, recreational drug use, angst w/ happy ending, single dad WWX, panic attacks, implied/referenced self-harm, grief/mourning, catharsis, body horror, floral horror) is the absolute masterpiece , Roots Grow Riotious by Hans Bekhart , it's taken off ao3. however I have a copy and I've gotten permission to share from the author, DM your email so I can send you a pdf. @/the-marathon-continues-nip

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13. Guys~ I love u blog and am so desperate so I will cut to the chase:

There was this wangxian time travel fic where they meet their younger selfs and go back again. I think it was 7 chapters. Pov was mostly LZ (Young and old) and young Lz was confused about why he "didn't" marry Wwx ( Wwx introduced himself as mo xuanyu)

Hanguang-jun’s Husband by lilacevergarden (T, 6k, Time Travel, post-canon wangxian being disgustingly in love, wwx bullying teenage wangxian, Yeah that’s it, Jealous WWX)

~*~

14. Hello, hope you’re doing well! I’m asking about a fic I read a while back. Lan Zahn and Wei Ying meet as children, but Lan Zahn doesn’t take him back to the cloud recesses. Instead, years later, they meet during the disciples visit to Gusu. Lan Wangji remembers Little Wei Ying as Wei Wuxian, but Wei Ying has no memory of him.

Highlights include drunk lan wangji with other disciples, su she getting punished for trying to assault lan wangji, and more I don’t remember. I read this in 2019, so my memory is pretty spotty.

It���s probably been deleted, but I really enjoyed this one. Thanks for your help. @myshallweplay

FOUND? Sun on a rainy day by MiiMi (M, 194k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Childhood Memories, Childhood Friends, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, First Love, Fluff and Smut, Angst, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Reversible Couple, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, WangXian/XianWang, XiCheng, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX)

~*~

15. Hello! I'm looking for a Wangxian fanfic. It took place in a modern au. LWJ and WWN's entire family were gathered for a barbecue, and Wangxian was fighting. There is a moment when Lan Wangji is about to eat something spicy, and Wei Wuxian stops him from eating, but they continue to fight. I remember that at some point, Wei Wuxian is eating this spicy dish, and Lan Wangji gets up to kiss him. And horrified by this situation, Jiang Yanli spills a glass of wine on Lan Wangji's shirt. I remember the story ended with Wei Wuxian saying that her husband was a knight with him and them going away to clean Wangji's shirt @a-ghostking

~*~

17. This is probably some sort of canon divergence, not post-canon. I think it might take place somewhere after WWX busts out the Wens but before the shit hits the fan. Anyway, the specific detail we're working with here: WWX asks how the yin iron pieces were destroyed, please don't say you just chucked them in the volcano, then tells the sect leaders they fucked up and Qishan is going to explode with resentment if something is not done soon. Thank you 🖤 @linderel

I don't believe I've read this before, and I'm pretty sure the fic I'm looking for was neither crack (treated seriously or otherwise) nor time travel, but I'll certainly mark it down for later!

NOT FOUND! 🧡 built by the fires of volcanoes by isabilightwood (T, 26k, wangxian, time travel, crack treated seriously, canon divergence, fluff & humor)

FOUND! 🔒In search of safety by SomeDumbGuy (M, 22k, One-Sided WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Incomplete Fix-It, Unreliable Narrator, JZX Lives, distruction of the yin tiger seal, Is it still hurt/comfort if it's comfort then hurt?, Blood and Gore) Here is a quote from chapter 3: “What do you have on the destruction of the Yin Iron at Nightless City?” Wei Wuxian asked. “We don’t have anything. It was thrown into the lava in the aftermath of the battle,” Lan Xichen replied.

~*~

18. Hello

I'm looking for a fic published @ 2020 or so

Idk if it was dark lwj, but at the meal in Yiling, LWJs inner monologue was very critical, on how Yuan had no manners and the Wens were very bad for WWX.

Wwx might've also been outwardly hostile, but put up w it for the food @midnightlighthowlite

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19. Hiii, hope you're having a nice day :)) i was searching for a certain fic in which both wei wuxian and lan wangji are assassins and housemates. They both dont know that the other is an assassin too but they keep coming across on their missions.(i think they were competing and sometimes lan zhan was just watching wei ying do his job? idk) i remember wei wuxian accidentally revealing his identity by talking?? Something like that! Hope you can find it bc i've been searching for it nonstoppp T-T anywayss thank u in advancee!!! @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou

FOUND? silhouettes to steal this night by moonsteps (T, 51k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Modern, Assassins & Hitmen, Roommates, Rivals to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Identity Porn, Violence, Blood and Injury, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Secret Identity)

~*~

20. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its modern with magic (i think? Because the tech is not showed much) and single parent wwx. I think that lwj is sent by an institution to make wwx accept a contract to familiar because he didnt have a familiar for years and usually people who didnt have a familiar for yearst went crazy/died (i think it was a familiar. Not sure about that). In wwx house, lwj meet lsz. He then tried to confince lsz to study in institution. After that, i dont remember much. I think lsz transform and became a dog that kinda declared to the world that he is a wen. Lsz is left by wq as a baby and found by wwx. Wwx then raised lsz. I think they have a cat (or crow) that reminded wwx of wq. Lwj found out the reason why wwx didnt go crazy/die is because wwx make a clone of himself and killed it. Lwj found the corpses in wwx's backyard in a grave. That grave is near a tree. Long story short, at the end of the story, it was implied that wwx faked his death with jyl, jwy, jzx, and lwj help and moved to england (?). Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Getting Together, shifter!lwj, yllz!wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch WangXian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex)

~*~

[ilikepjo24]

Lol another dumb take on reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRant/s/ER8SmBToSm

WOW! There are so many things to unpack here...

"Iroh, the most-" Iroh!? IROH!? THE Iroh!? The "redeemed" warlord that only gave a fuck about being a warlord after it affected him personally? That Iroh? The Iroh that left a child to bare the weight of a nation just bc he, the mature responsible adult, wanted to sit on his ass instead of being mature and responsible? THAT Iroh? It seems awful like both those actions appear to be those of a selfish and unempathetic person. And let's not forget that even after his "redemption" he assaulted June. So how exactly is he the most understanding and kind person in the show, exactly?

Would you like to know who actually is the most understanding and kind person in the show? AANG.

The boy who found it in himself to forgive and learn to have affection for the dude that chased him around the world and almost hurt/killed him and his friends multiple times. The boy who found it in himself to forgive the nation that genocided his people enough to want to help them, teach them their old ways and bring them back to the light. The boy that found it in himself to spare Ozai, a sadistic, manipulative, abusive warlord that wanted to watch the world burn in an attempt to satisfy his narcissism. And may the record note that Iroh did not extended his own brother the same mercy. He believed Ozai needed to die, when Aang didn't. So Aang is more empathetic, understanding and kind that Iroh.

And do you know what Aang has to say about Azula?

That he believes in her ability to do good and be good. That he trusts her to do so. He could have had her executed. He didn't. He could have taken away her bending. He didn't. He could have said she's born evil and a bad egg. He didn't. He put in a good word for her. He said she did something good. That can be good. THAT'S what the actual most understanding and kind person in the whole franchise has to say about Azula.

"She smiles when-" So did everyone else and so does everyone ever alive when justice is served. Because for the audience, the event was unfair and traumatizing. But for the people of the Fire Nation it was justice. And it's only normal for people to be happy when justice is served. When a groomer goes to jail you don't think "oh, that poor groomer", you think "good, this piece of shit definitely deserved it". Similarly, in the Fire Nation, an imperialistic dictatorship, when someone disrespects their Firelord, which they worship as almost a god (if not more, bc we see them worship their Firelord more often than Agni), and that person gets punished they don't think "oh, that like boy", they think "good, this piece of shit definitely deserved it". That's not called "being a bad egg", that's called propaganda and borderline mass brainwashing.

"She mocks-" She's repeating what she heard from adults in her life. That's not being a bad egg, that's bad parenting.

"She tortures-" Not cannon in any way. We've heard that she threw bread at them. Not only was that told from Zuko's pov, who's known to be a biased narrator when it comes to Azula, but it's also not even that freaking bad. It's bread, when it hits the water it becomes soft. No one ever died because they got hit by a loaf of bread. And she doesn't burn them with.

"Her mother's comments-" Oh, you mean the "what is wrong with that child"? That comment? That comment that was thrown at a child after doing a very normal childlike thing? I used to to play execution with my Barbie dolls and beheading them by pulling off their heads and my least favourites would always be the ones that got executed. Kids break toys they don't value and/or like. Azula is not obligated to like or value a gift that wasn't for her. The doll was a gift for every little girl. It wasn't personal. It wasn't hers. She doesn't have to like or value it. She doesn't have to not break it. The only reason that she chose fire instead of execution is because she had fire handy. That comment Ursa made was absolutely not justified.

"She's never given an excuse-" Not only is this take proof that media literacy is dead, it's flat out anti-intellectualism. We see that Fire Nation schools brainwash kids by shoving propaganda in their faces and we know Azula went in a Fire Nation school. All that's left to do is put 2 and 2 together. It's 4. It's fucking 4. Azula was brainwashed in the Fire Nation school that she went to that brainwashes Fire Nation kids. Canon fact. Use your brain.

"Her vision of what she wants is twisted-" What, exactly, is twisted about wanting to be acknowledged by your family that is proud of you, being loved by your family that is supposed to love you anyway, and completing the mission you've been brainwashed into thinking is the right thing all your life? What is twisted about reaching expectations and having a happy family? I'll wait.

"We're supposed to sympathize with the spi- No, we're not. The spirit is very obviously a liar and a manipulator as we've seen throughout the whole damn comic. And it wants to eat her. The spirit is the villain of the story that has been continuously twisting reality to weaken Azula's ambition and will to fight back, so that it could kill her. By the end of the comic we're supposed to know that the spirit is a full of shit and we shouldn't trust what it says, since all it has said throughout the whole comic is lies. Not sympathize with it.

"Rationalizations of her behavior are believe yet unprovable and based on subtext." It's almost like she's not the main character. The show isn't going to take time diving into her background. They are going to only give us subtext and we have to use our critical thinking skills and come to a believable conclusion, as we do. Zuko loving Ursa isn't outright stated at the show at any point, but we know it's a fact because we see it in the way they interact. We know his mother matters to him because he thinks of her and misses her. That's subtext. And we know Azula is not to blame for the person she was bought up to be because Fire Nation schools canonically brainwash their students. That's subtext. You can't selectively decide that this subtext is enough to prove this point, but that subtext doesn't prove that point because it's not outright stated. That's called double standards.

"The show portrays her as being inherently evi-" The show? You mean the same show that didn't even portray the genocider, treacherous dictator (Sozin) and the abusive, manipulative dictator (Ozai) as inherently evil went out of its way to portray the manipulated, abused, brainwashed child as a bad egg? ...Sure. That's what happened.

"Mai and Ty Lee do the same stuff but are portrayed differ-" No, they are not. Mai is portrayed as somebody who abused the power they have over others, since she views ordering servants around as a fun activity, and as somebody who has no empathy towards their family, as she didn't hesitate to agree that her brother has less worth than a king. Ty Lee is portrayed as sadistic, since she's animated to smirk and sneer while taking down soldiers defending their homes. I think she even goes as far as to mock them at sons point, but take that with a pinch of salt. They are portrayed to be classist, sadistic, unempathetic people that only give a fuck about the select few and mystery everybody else. Y'all just refuse to see it because Ty Lee is cute and is constantly infantilized because of it and because Mai protected your lord and savior, Zuko, right after she was done being classist and unempathetic. They are not portrayed as better, you just go out of your way to portray Azula as worst.

"Even in LoK-" Azula is given Freudian Excuse. You just refuse to see it because, as opposed to Legend of Korra, the creators do not chew your food up and spit it in your mouth for you to swallow. You have to put the pieces of the puzzle together and make realization. Which can understandably be hard for people that have a brain the size of a peanut, like yourself.

"It feels weird for a show like Avatar to imply somebody was evil from birt-" It feels weird because it is weird and it is weird because it's something they would never do which is why they didn't do it. You literally just created this narrative inside of your head while understanding that it goes completely against the philosophy of the show. And now it's weird to you that it doesn't align with the show? Make it make sense.

This isn't asking for an Azula redemption arc (although "this fourteen-year-old who was acting under orders of a tyrannical fire lord can't be redeemed" seems incredibly harsh), this is just me wondering why the writers consistently, across mediums, refuse to suggest that she's even the slightest bit a product of her environment? But Zuko gets a pass for pretty much everything more or less? Alright then lol.

This is close to being the smartest thing you have said during this post. Unfortunately it is easy to notice that some of the creators just don't like Azula. That's it. That's the reason why. They don't like her and they don't want her to have a happy ending. So it's good that somebody else is riding this show now. Faith Erin Hicks, as we see from her comic, is not afraid to treat Azula as the victim she is, and is not afraid to lay the blame on the adults that failed her. As opposed to previous creators, she seems to be willing to apply the general philosophy of the show in Azula's character as well. Which is something she's able to do because Azula is not, in fact, inherently evil. She's a victim of abuse and a manipulated child that has done some very fucked up things but has all her life ahead of her to grow up and be better.

Give us a scene of Ozai molding her into the cruel person she is

Supporting and praising bad behavior is enabling it. A good parent would say "I understand that you were upset at feeling as though you were underestimated when you got efficient results, but it's important to keep your cool and respect your instructors since they have more experience than you. If you feel as though the inability of this instructor to stray from traditional paterns is holding you back, communicate that problem with me, and I'll find you a new teacher if it's necessary." Does Ozai do that? No. What does he do? Praise her. What will Azula do in response? Repeat the same behavior to receive praise again. What is that called? Nursing cruel/bad behavior.

Give us a scene of Azula being at least a normal child at some point.

Stealing sweets at a sleepover and recreating scenes from a movie/play with your sibling? I recall doing both those things as a child. We're talking about universal normal child experiences.

Don't vindicate her mother being cruel.

The narrative itself is not excusing Ursa. Azula herself goes to lengths to hold her accountable, actually. The only ones excusing Ursa's actions are Zuko, who's looking at her through rose colored glasses, because she's one of the first people to show him love, and he wants to sing the best of her, and the fandom, for the same exact reason.

Have Iroh say something slightly more insightful than "she's a crazy bitch leave her alone"

Personally, I don't value Iroh's opinion at all. I think he has to work through the issues that he obviously has with himself, instead of projecting those issues onto Azula, which is what he's doing. But since you care about his opinion so much, here's him saying Azula has the capability to find peace.

Here's an easy one: instead of smiling when Zuko got burnt, Azula looks visually horrified. That tiny, tiny change would've made her far more nuanced! It wouldn't be much, but not only would it make the fire lord's actions seem even worse, it shows us that deep down, she does--or at least, did--care! This is more in line with the show's themes and far more interesting than "she's just gonna be super evil hehe".

Here's the thing. Azula doesn't smile because she's just so "evil hehe". She's smiling because Zuko is receiving a just punishment for his actions. At least as far as she's concerned.

Think about it, in the Fire Nation they treat their King as a god. They pray/say an anthem/swear loyalty to the Firelord and the crown every single day. It should be needless to point out that nobody would question the actions of the Firelord. They would just assume that this is the correct course of action because this is what the Firelord is doing.

Azula not only is a subject of that Firelord but she is the daughter of her father. She was 11 when the Agni Kai. At that age, kids do not question their parents. The think things are right because the parents do it. If Dad is upset with Zuko, then Zuko must have done something wrong, because Dad can't be wrong, he's Dad, he's never wrong.

So both as his daughter and as his subject, Azula has been conditioned from the day she was born to think that he's always right. So when he decides to punish Zuko, that's just another instance where he's right. So why would Azula be upset with him for being right? Especially considering that if she were upset with him, it's possible that you would also receive a punishment for disagreeing with his methods.

So imagine you are Azula. You see your dad, who is always right, and is also your king, who is also always right do something. Anything. Do you think to yourself "Why would he do that? That's bad!" or do you think "He's right for doing what he does because he's always right."? She's under the impression that he's a just ruler and father, so why wouldn't she be satisfied at the sight of him rendering justice to the foolish subject that disobeyed? Especially when having a different opinion can result to being in danger?

Do we get anything from the answer to her personality being "bad egg"?

No, we don't. Which is why this isn't what they did. You just have a false idea of pretty much everything regarding Azula's character and how it was handled.

Thus proven.

[vinomino]

Be Vulnerable Part 1 - Two Sides Of A Coin Make It Whole

Contents: nsfw mdni 18+, arranged marriage au, samurai au, heavy angst, miscommunication, mention of dv(not with reader), mention of abuse, mention of assault, violence, murder, dubcon(aphrodisiacs), vaginal fingering

WC: 10.5k

“Say, what would you want your husband to be like?” Your elder sister, Tsuya, often spoke of the topic, sitting next to you in the garden talking your ear off about her dream future husband. That he had to be handsome, taller, and the deal-breaker; to treat you, her only little sister, with kindness. 

Thumbing at the leaf of a pink lily, “I don’t really care.” 

You haven’t given it much, women aren’t given a say in their marriage, or their lives. Do what they tell you to do, speak how they tell you to speak, say what they tell you to say. Your worth as a human is decided by how you present yourself. What good is it to fantasize about a man that doesn’t exist? 

“Eh? You should care…this is a man you will spend the rest of your life with.” She ungraciously blows raspberries. You respect Tsuya, she’s smart and calm but is an utter fool in the world of love. Wind breezes through the garden as you continue to watch the ants crawl along the rocks until the maids summon you back inside. 

Tsuya was often scolded on your behalf, always taking the blame for accidents you made. “It’s alright, I want you to depend on your older sister.” Patting your head after leaving your mother's chamber, you could faintly hear your mother ranting about another one of her favorite vases being destroyed. A vase you bumped into, causing it to fall over its stand. “Do I need a reason to love my sister?” 

Mother never paid much attention to you, primarily due to the fact she isn’t your biological mom. You were an illegitimate child, your real mother was your father’s first love. She was a servant to your family, the daughter of your grandfather’s best friend, they had grown up together, but due to her status, were not permitted to marry. He kept her around even after marrying Mother, she didn’t lash out at her husband for keeping a mistress around, in fact, she said that she was grateful he didn’t seek her out every night, and it wouldn’t be a problem as long as there wasn’t a child. 

She passed away shortly after giving birth to you. While it did tick Mother off when Father said he would add you under the family register, she eventually let it go. You weren’t the firstborn son or daughter. Akihiro was the heir and eldest, Tsuya was the second, and Akiro, your little brother was the spare. As the third child, your duties were lessened. Akihiro would succeed Father and run the household. Tsuya’s duty was to marry into a clan that would benefit the house. While that was also enforced onto you, you had the option of marrying any man as long as he wasn’t beneath you in status. You were just an addition, your existence didn’t play a huge role. 

Your family wasn’t a battle clan, but rather a trading one. The Hatano clan. The lead family under the Hata clan umbrella. Your father was a wealthy aristocrat, while lacking power and might, he made up for it in merchandising. Your family was in possession of fertile land, having an abundance of crops which put him at the top of the agriculture circle. It fostered trading and strong ties to bigger clans, most notably, your family’s precious sake*. Known famously far and wide for being the best, the rice wine being traded off for the promise of protection. 

Tsuya and you were close, your parents didn’t spend that much time with you and your elder brother was busy with duties to prepare him for being heir, duties ranging from sword fighting to study lessons, and you rarely got to see him because of it. Tsuya was the only family member you spent the days with, she didn’t discriminate against you for being a half-sibling, in fact, she loved you unconditionally. Akihiro didn’t disrespect you, he mostly ignored you, much like Mother. Akiro was born in the winter of your 14th year, he didn’t feel much like a younger brother, but more like a nephew due to the age gap. 

Riko, your exclusive maid is combing your hair, getting you ready for bed. “Miss, your hair is always so soft and gorgeous! Oh, should I shut the window? It is quite cold tonight…” She patiently awaits your answer. “Alright, thank you.” You send her a soft smile through the mirror. Riko was born the same year as you, a child of a man serving your father. Riko was much more confident and courageous than you expected. Despite how the other maids who have worked in the family longer act, she doesn’t shy away at all. She puts your mind at ease. You stand up, going to head for the bed, catching sight of the katana, resting upon the decorative table. 

On your tenth birthday, Father seated you on his lap and asked what you wanted. 

“I want a sword!” You beam at him. 

“What will you do with a sword?” He raises his brows, confused as to why his ten-year-old daughter asked for a katana, but still decides to humor you. It was undeniable you were Father’s favorite child, most likely because you inherited your mother’s beauty, resembling his first love. 

“I want to put it on display in my room.” A childish answer from a child. He stares into your sparkling eyes, eyes the same as his lover. “I shall commission one to be made.” He let you get away with stuff your siblings wouldn’t. Your father’s right-hand man suggests to him some notable blacksmiths. They nod along at your excitement, saying what color it should be, what it should look like, and rambling on naming it as well. 

When Riko leaves, you shimmy out of bed, stepping towards the table. Picking up the sword from the koshirae*, you unsheath it from the red saya*, and a yellow sageo* cord is wrapped around it. Gripping the black handle holding the silver blade out towards the window, the moonlight flows over it. Father calls a bladesmith every season to do upkeep on the katana. The sword must’ve cost a fortune to make, the steel and forgery were better than some of the katanas the swordsmen serving the family had. It was slightly smaller than the average katana though, you remember when Akihiro let you hold his sword, his was much heavier. 

Your father revealed it to you and you stared in awe. The servants murmured in shock at their Lord presented his youngest child, a girl, with her very own sword. Mother bit her tongue during it. Once, she learned you had played in the kitchen, spilling flour all over the floor, so she had you whipped and locked in a room. Calling you an impudent low-born disgrace and declaring you were to only have water for a week. When Father heard word of it, he immediately came to your rescue and called the family physician to tend to your wounds. You didn’t see Mother for a while after that, but you caught sight of her leaving the garden, a veil over her head, and you could faintly see a dark bruise on her cheek. After that incident, the servants began to tip-toe around you. She didn’t raise a hand against you again and no one dared call you names. 

Remembering the training hall, how the men swing their swords you try to replicate it. Running a hand through your hair, you tighten your grip around the handle. Still, you couldn’t move the same way a samurai does. The reason you asked for a sword back then was because of Momotarō*, a Japanese folklore your nanny would often recite to you. You would parade around the house, pestering your sister and the servants to help you slay the demons. Thinking back, it was quite embarrassing. But the sword was too heavy for you, even swinging it for more than half an hour would tire you out. The first time you dabbled with it, you fell bedridden. 

Only noble and aristocratic women were permitted to learn how to read and write. Reading was the only way to relieve you of your boredom, you didn’t have lessons with tutors and did not attend social events like Tsuya. 

Picking out some books from the library, Riko and a footman helped carry them back to your chambers, setting the stack down on your desk. You usually would’ve read in the garden, but it was drizzling out. 

“Shall I bring you some tea and snacks Miss?” Riko asks, ushering the footman out. 

“No. It’s fine, I’d like to be alone for now.” You answer, opening a book. She bows and shuts the door behind her. Struggling to focus on reading, you sigh and shut the book closed. Leaning back into your chair you turn your head to look at the mountain of letters.

You could be called a quiet child who neither stood out nor would disappear into the background. You never had an interest in going to parties, but Tsuya nagged you enough that day. You received countless marriage proposals and rejected every single one to Mother’s exasperation, she says your pretty face will soon slip away if you don’t take advantage of it. But she knew that there would be many more, agreeing with you to wait for one to stand above the rest. “Mother, I’m sure you can sell me off for something more.” Which is why you had reached adulthood, a marriageable age, but yet to be engaged. 

Marriage; you could marry a male from within the Hata clan, but there weren’t many who were around your age. You’d plunge a sword into your stomach before marrying someone twice your age or one of those creeps who keep bothering you. 

Tsuya was promised to Miyoshi Akihito of the Roppo-Ichiza clan. He was three years older than her. They were called love birds by maids who often gushed at the sight of them. It was a dream come true for her to marry not only out of convenience but also love. At first, you thought Miyoshi was simply faking a persona until you saw he was actually sincere. Maybe your sister was pitied for being a hopeless romantic that the deities made her wish come true. Thinking made you tired, bookmarking the page, you headed to your bedroom, sliding under the blanket and closing your eyes. 

A large commotion is coming from the hallway, causing you to awaken from your slumber. Opening the door you see servants rushing around frantically, out of the corner of your eye you spot Tsuya coming down the hall, “Sister…what’s going on…?” 

She has a grim expression, pushing you back into your room, sending a glance at Riko who bows her head and leaves. The rain poured down, a crack of thunder. Tsuya grips your shoulders tightly and finally speaks up, “Brother Akihiro died in an ambush.” Hearing the news of your elder brother’s death you slap a hand over your mouth. You can feel her muscles tense as she thinks about what is going to happen now that the heir of the house is gone. The two of you go to find Mother, she's standing in the engawa, sobbing into her hands. You help her back into the house, as she weeps for your brother. The rest of the night is a blur, everyone gets sent back to their quarters for the night, aside from Father and his men who hold an emergency meeting. Tsuya accompanies you for the night, scared of what's to come. “Big sister…” You murmur lying next to her, she shushes you. The sleepless night passes and everyone gets summoned into the meeting hall early in the morning. 

Placing next to Tsuya, you notice only the immediate family is present. Mother holds a solemn expression next to Father. The door slides open and your little brother steps in, Mother ushers him to sit next to her, embracing him in her arms. Father clears his voice. 

“Last night, Akihiro passed away.” He lets out a long sigh. 

“First, Akiro is to be named the new successor and will proceed with the training. Second, Tsuya you will cancel your engagement with Miyoshi Akihito of the Roppo-Ichiza clan and marry into the Bofurin clan. Not only did we lose your brother, but many of our best men as well. Finally, the wake will be held this evening, so be prepared.” With that, you're standing with your sister in the hall. Tsuya buries her face into your neck as she sobs. You try to comfort her, rubbing at her back. 

The loss of your elder brother and many of the swordsmen leaves the house unprotected, trade routes would be vulnerable, and there’s also the risk of plundering by bandits. While Roppo-Ichiza is strong, it pales in comparison to Bofurin, known for its strength, one of the most powerful clans by its might and size. A marriage connecting your family to Bofurin would be extremely beneficial. Tsuya knows this herself, which is why she did not raise any words against the decision. 

Then came the funeral, full of tension and tears. Standing next to Mother as she squeezed the chopsticks in her hands, it was time for the kotsuage*. She stares lifelessly at the ashes and bones of her first child. No one spoke as each picked out bone fragments. Riko wraps your haori around you as you head back to the family home. You were resting your head on her shoulder as the carriage took you away from the cemetery. 

Staying in your chambers as the week passes, you learn from a servant that the man Tsuya is to be betrothed to was named Lord General Kaji Ren, second in command of the Vaisravana unit, serving under Lord General Militant Hiragi Toma, who was one of the four kings of Bofurin, second to its Lord Commander, Umemiya Hajime.

Riko stands by as you read a book while sipping on tea, the calm atmosphere makes you feel ignorant. The only orders you had were to stay in your quarters, placing the book down, “Riko, will you follow me wherever I go?” Resting against your hand as you stare out the window. “Miss, I will follow you wherever you go, I promised, didn't I?” Her voice is calm, portraying her sincerity. A sigh escapes your lips as you prepare yourself for your plan. 

Seeking out father, you seek out his office. The footman by the door notices you approaching, straightening himself up. “Miss, is there anything you need?” 

“I want to request an audience with my father, it’s important.” 

He nods and enters the office, a minute passes before he opens the doors for you, nodding his head again. You can feel his gaze linger on you as you inhale deeply and step in, making your way to your father. Tsuya was also there, she looked surprised seeing you. 

“Father, let me marry in Tsuya’s place.” Pressing your shoulders back and raising your head to meet his eyes. 

“What are you saying?” Tsuya whispers over in a hushed tone. 

He sets his cup down, brows furrowed, “No.” 

“There should be no problem with me being the one to marry, then please allow her to proceed with her marriage to Miyoshi. I will marry Lord Kaji Ren.” Placing a hand over your chest. 

He glances over at Tsuya and then back at you. “I won’t allow it.” 

“Father, Tsuya is also your child.” Father should’ve married you off instead– but he didn’t want to lose you. You know him well. 

He doesn’t want to lose you like he lost his first love. “I’m not sending you away–” 

“Father, I care about Tsuya’s happiness. For once– please see me as my own person.” You plead. 

Father grits his teeth, “Leave, both of you.” 

Tsuya grabs you outside the office, pulling you into a secluded area, “Why–” 

“Sister is always kind to me, so… I want to be the one to help her when she needs it the most. Marry Miyoshi, be happy together.” You hold her shoulder. 

“What about…you?” 

Offering her a soft smile, “Write to me often, alright?” 

Tears well up in her eyes as she embraces you, “Since when did you grow up? Hah…Making me feel like the younger one.” She pinches your cheek like she always did when you were kids. 

Lord General Kaji Ren, was also referred to as a beast on the battlefield. Riko managed to gather some information; he was taller than you, had platinum hair and dark gray eyes, and was allegedly “good-looking”. With this little to go by, you couldn’t picture what he looked like, staring at Riko’s squiggly drawing of who she says is a portrait of your husband-to-be. You know Father reluctantly agreed since he didn’t come to see you.    

The wedding date was set and preparations were beginning. The number of servants who were around you now felt draining, the seamstresses spent hours taking your measurements. slouching back into the chair and rubbing at your temple, “Riko, are weddings this much of a headache?” Taking another bite of a biscuit.

“Miss! A wedding only happens once in a lifetime. Also, the youngest daughter of the Hatano family marrying a Lord General of the Bofurin clan is a big deal! Miss, you shouldn’t eat so much…your wedding is tomorrow and the Head Lady looked quite…mad at dinner.”

For once she paid attention to you. Was something like this considered a big deal? 

The day of the wedding arrived, waking up at dusk to get ready for it. The servants bathing you and dressing you. You should feel nervous, but instead, you feel a strange sense of peace, being able to protect your sister’s happiness. The white shiromuku* is neatly laid on top of your body. Flowers and birds are hand painted on the silk fabric, showcasing the meticulous attention to detail. A white wedding kimono symbolizes pureness and cleanness; to take on the other color of the groom and accept the values and ideas of the groom’s clan. Riko meticulously does your hair-do, wrapping it around and pinning it up. The silence was interrupted by a knock on the door. 

Tsuya steps in, her eyes wavering at you. “Here I thought I would be marrying first…my baby sister is all grown up now.” 

“Oh, both of you are here.” You look at your mother, carrying a small wooden box. For the first time in a while, she smiles. “It seems I am losing another child again.” She sighs, her frail cold hands push your hair out of your forehead and caress your cheek.

“Mother…don’t miss me too much.” Earning a soft laugh from her. She opens the box, “This was the hairpin I wore when I married your father. I want you to have it. Serve your husband well.” Gently handling the silver ornament, sliding it into your hair. Mother then turned on her heel and left with her servants, leaving the three of you.

“It suits you. Let me do your makeup, one last favor from your big sister.” Tsuya pats your head carefully to not move it out of place. 

She skillfully applies the blush and lipstick, leaning back to admire her work, “I’d say you don’t need anything more. You are always stunning.” 

“I agree Miss, I fell for your looks the moment I saw you!” Riko chimes in. 

Again, a knock at the door. This time it’s Miyoshi, “Riko, can you leave us for a bit.” She bows her head and steps out of the room. 

“Miyoshi? What–” Tsuya is cut off when he kneels on the floor. “I wanted to sincerely thank you, for everything, I promise to take care of Tsuya for the rest of my life.” Miyoshi bows his head. 

Tsuya’s breath hitches for a moment before joining Miyoshi, next to him. “No, please– raise your heads.” You bend down and pull them up, “As long as you two are happy, that’s enough repayment I need.” Tsuya burst out into tears, refraining from touching you, to not stain your kimono. “I swear it on my life” Miyoshi states, taking Tsuya out with him to calm her down. 

You're left alone, sitting in front of the mirror. The woman looking back at you is unfamiliar, is she really you? It felt surreal, only yesterday you were tottering after Tsuya, and now you were getting married off before her. 

The wedding ceremony was to take place in Bofurin’s ceremonial hall, the ride there was a lengthy one. Peering over your shoulder, taking one last look at the place you were born and grew up in, before stepping into the carriage. Fiddling with the fan the whole way, Tsuya’s and Miyoshi’s children will grow up in a family full of warmth, that alone sets a smile on you. 

“Miss, we’ve entered the Bofurin territory.” A male voice informs you. 

Daughters live their whole lives for this. This is the last thing you can do for your family. 

In a separate room, Tsuya places the wataboshi* over my head. The pristine white hood to be worn before and during the ceremony is the equivalent of a wedding veil. 

SANSHIN-NO-GI (PROCESSION CEREMONY) 参進の儀

One foot in front of the other, white zori* shoes clacking against the ground as you walk towards the ceremony hall. The bridal party, accompanying you is led inside by a maiden. Head slightly tilted down you are still able to see how many people were present, your family to the left, Bofurin to the right, and all the clansmen were identifiable in their dark green haori*. Peering up, you can see the ceremonial table and altar at the back of the hall, a man stands beside it. Platinum blond hair, it's hard to see his eyes with his fringe, but you tell they are a murky color. He wears a traditional groom’s black kimono and the same haori as his clansmen, on closer inspection the Furin symbol is on it—a neutral expression on his face, lips in a tight line. The priest awaits you beyond the table. 

NYUJYO  (ENTRANCE) 入場

The maiden introduces the bride and groom, “Today we are witnessing the unification of the young lady from the Hatano family and Lord General Kaji Ren of the Bofurin clan.” 

SHUBATSU-NO-GI  (PURIFICATION CEREMONY) 修祓の儀

The priest purifies the bride, groom, and attendees. To purify you and Kaji Ren from all your sins to begin your journey together. 

NORITO-SOJO (SHINTO RITUAL PRAYER READING) 祝詞奏上

Then the priest recites ritual prayers, announcing to the deities of your marriage, a marriage promising eternal happiness together. Asking for protection and blessings. You shift and wiggle your toes against the socks. Unable to scratch the itch, you peek over to your right, at Kaji Ren. The guests all stand and bow. 

SANKON-NO-GI（EXCHANGE OF CUPS）三献の儀

The exchange of the three cups of sacred sake. In front, three cups, small, medium, and large. The priests begin to pour the sake into them. The familiar scent, it's your family's sake. For the first time your will wavers. You raise the cup to your lips, taking three sips, the harsh liquid burning your throat, but you force it down. Passing the cup to the priest for it to be refilled, he hands the cup to Kaji, who does the same, face never faltering. This proceeds until you have sipped from all three cups.    

KAGURA HŌNŌ (DEDICATION OF THE SACRED DANCE) 神楽奉納

The maidens then begin to perform the ancient dance as an offering to the gods.

SEISHI SOJO (READING OF VOWS) 誓詞奏上

The priest hands Kaji a paper scroll, he clears his throat, “This woman, I marry, no matter what the health situation is, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, and help this person until death, I swear.” He hands the paper to you, “This man, I marry, no matter what the health situation is, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, and help this person until death, I swear.” 

“Groom, do you take this woman to be your wife?” 

“I do.”

“Bride, do you take this man to be your husband?” 

Gulping, “I do.”

“Then it shall be.” 

TAMAGUSHI HOTEN (TAMAGUSHI OFFERINGS) 玉串奉奠 

Holding the tamagushi* in your hands, you bow twice, clap your hands twice, and bow one more time. Kaji does it alongside you. Showing gratitude to the gods. 

YUBIWA-NO-GI (EXCHANGE OF RINGS)  指輪の交換

The maiden then passes a black velvet box to the priest, he takes it and opens it in front of us. Kaji takes the smaller band and turns to you, holding out his hand, you place yours in his, and he slides the silver band on your ring finger. You turn and take the other ring, sliding the band on his ring finger. His hands feel calloused and rough. 

SHINZOKUSAKAZUKI-NO-GI (DRINKING OF SACRED WINE WITH THE WEDDING PARTICIPANTS) 親族杯の儀

Marriage not only symbolizes the binding of the bride and groom but also their clans and families. All the guests present take three sips of the wine, binding the Bofurin clan and Hatano family together. 

TAIJYO (EXIT) 退場 

After bowing, people start to exit the hall. Everyone takes their exit, leaving you and Kaji alone. “Follow me.” He roughly speaks and leads you back to his personal estate. Following the wedding, the night to consummate it was equally if not more important. 

Stepping into his bedroom chambers, he shuts the door behind him. You take off the wataboshi, placing it on the table against the wall. Kaji is staring at you, he’s finally able to see what you look like. Undoing your hair, letting it fall, placing Mother’s hairpin down. Nimble fingers reaching to undo the obi*, to get undressed, Kaji lets out a loud cough. “There’s no need.” 

Tilting your head, “Lord General, this is my duty.” 

“You’ve already done it. I heard about Akihiro, we used to spar together…and no need to call me so formally. We are husband and wife now, you are also a Kaji…” He trails off as he steps towards the bed, picking up his sword from its stand and unsheathing it. You watch as he slices at his arm, dripping his blood on the white sheets, staining it crimson. “This should be enough. There’s no need for you to worry about an heir.” With that, he walks past you into the connected room, disappearing from your sight. You don't follow, opting to get unready for bed instead. Blowing out the candles and sliding under the blankets, on the opposite side of where the blood is.

Kaji sits down on the lounge chair, hands working to bandage the cut. Then he cleans his blade down spotless, taking off his haori and the haori himo*, kicking off his sandals as he leans into the cushion. He sighs, running a hand through his fringe. How did he get into this situation? 

It was sad news to hear an old friend had died at such a young age, but what he didn’t expect was Umemiya and Hiragi summoning him to tell him he was to marry his dead friend’s sister. He knew the status of your family, knowing they were in dire need of manpower. 

“Kaji, if you don’t want to, I won’t force you to.” 

He clenched his jaw so hard he thought it would shatter. “If it's not me, who will do it?” 

“Hiragi would have to, the Hatano family specifically requested a groom from the Vaisravana unit. Well, there’s Sakura, but…” Umemiya pauses, the third in command, General Sakura Haruka, everyone collectively agrees he was not mature enough to take on a wife. “Her name’s Tsuya Hatano, she’s a year younger than you.” 

Kaji did not want to put Hiragi in a position he did not want to be in, no, he owed too much to the man. Owed his entire life to Hiragi, so reluctantly, he agreed. Word spread quickly in Bofurin, and his vices began to bother him about it. 

“A day ourrrr RRRen gets marrrrrried! Who woulda thought!” Enomoto laughs, smacking him on the back as he grimaces. Kasumi nods with a smile more annoying than usual. “Go away, piss off!” Kaji unwraps a candy and chucks it into his mouth, swirling the sweet around. 

“Oh look! It’s Sir Kaji!” Great, he mumbles, turning around and is met with another headache. A triple headache that is. Nirei, Suo, and Sakura all walk towards him. 

“I heard you were marrying a daughter from the Hatano family!” Nirei asks excitedly, making Kaji cringe internally. 

“The who family?” Sakura asks. 

“Sakura, they are practically ranked one–first in the trading business…” thumbing through the small notebook, “Oh they make the famous Hatano sake. Sakura, you like that one.” 

“Eh?” Sakura scratches his head, trying to remember. 

“Sakura, you know the names are the same, right?” Suo teases, dodging the duo-colored boy’s punches.  

“The Hatano’s have four children. The oldest son, the oldest daughter, the youngest daughter, and the youngest son. I heard Tsuya Hatano was very pretty, but I thought she was going to marry Mishiyo of Roppo-Ichiza…I don’t have much of the youngest daughter or son…they haven’t been to social events yet.” Kaji intently listens as the younger boy talks. It felt a heavy bitter taste on his tongue, worse knowing he was marrying someone who was supposed to be promised to another.  Crunching the candy, he storms off. “Oi, Kaji wherrrrre ya going?!” Enomoto calls out for him. 

It wasn’t until the night before the wedding he was informed the bride had changed to the youngest daughter. To his relief, you were only a couple of years younger than your sister. However, now, he's marrying someone he has no information on. You don’t want this either, no one wants to marry out of their family’s desperation. Kaji can only begin to imagine your emotions, he’ll always despise arranged marriages. This deepened when he first laid eyes on you, a well-bred lady, who looks far too weak and frail to be betrothed to a brute like him. He’s certain even the slightest touch of his hand will shatter you, unable to read any emotions on your calm face like this was your only destiny. Kaji sensed underneath that, the firmness in you, in those clear hues. Shifting uncomfortably on the chair, the image of you taking off your Obi belt resurfaces, he splays a hand over his face to smother the heat. Your skin must be smooth to the touch, without a single blemish, raised completely differently than him. It stirs an unfamiliar emotion in his chest. 

The wind chimes on the window jingles in the wind, swaying back and forth, you peel open your eyes to see Kaji not present. The sheets wrestle as you sit up, surveying the room with the daylight present. Noting your husband was a simple man, with little to no decoration, aside from a little jar filled with wrappers in the corner of the room, catching your eye. You walk over to inspect it. Popping open the lid to sniff it.

Candy? Does he like sweets?

“Miss, are you awake?” Riko knocks on the door. She had demanded to come with you, saying she promised to never leave your side. Grateful that someone familiar with you, you make a mental note to raise her pay. “Yes, come in.” 

Riko enters with an elderly lady, as she comes over to usher me into the washroom, the older woman silently walks over to inspect the bedsheets. Glancing over your shoulder; she looks up, clasps her hands, and deeply bows. The warm water comforts you, Riko washes your hair. “What do you think about the Lord?” She asks. 

You hum and tilt your head back, “He’s…not that much of a talker…?” Shutting your eyes trying to remember last night. Deciding it would be best to not speak of the bedding night, you sink further under the water, it pools up beneath your nose. Riko helps you dress, it's a fine kimono, made of silk; a pale fabric embroidered with green thread. Upon entering the hall another maid awaits, much younger than the other. “I will show you around the estate.” She says and bows, ushering Riko and you to follow behind. 

Your legs hurt, why is it never-ending? The young girl talks your ear off about the history and types of rooms present. You nod along, despite not paying attention, until you pass by a large portrait hung on the wall. A younger version of Kaji, along with his late parents. You stare it for a while until a voice breaks your thoughts. 

“Arrrre you the new miss?!” A man with slick black hair swiftly approaches you. The young servant bows her head at him. Straightening to do the same, “No, no, no you don’t need to bow yourrrr head. Yourrrr Kaji Rrren’s wife! Yourrrr my superrriorrrr!” He’s boisterous. “The name’s Enomoto Takeshi!” He nods, and you give him a friendly smile at his enthusiasm. Enomoto is taken aback, eyes widening. 

“Is something wrong?” 

“N-No! I’d say Rrren found himself quite a fairrr maiden!” Enomoto rubs at the back of his neck, “If you need anything, just hollerrrrr!” Giving you a thumb-up before scurrying off. Were the Bofurin members this eccentric?

The tour finally ends, sitting on a cushioned chair as you place your feet on the wooden rest. The walking seemed to never cease, Kaji’s estate alone rivaled your family’s house. Hours spent learning about the history and Kaji’s childhood. Letting out a sigh, you lean back, closing your eyes to refresh. 

“Psst! Enomoto! Over here!” The guys from his unit flag him down. “Did you see the miss? What’d she look like?” They surround him with questions. 

“Well, she was prrretty…” Enomoto mumbles, remembering your face. His answer causes the group of boys to erupt, pestering him for more information. 

“Is this all you have on her?” Kaji leans on his desk with elbows, staring directly into the nervous Vice General. 

“Y-Yes!” The blonde squeaks out. 

He hums and flicks through the three-page paper, “Alright, you can go now.” Nirei lets out a sigh of relief and skimpers out and Kaji begins to read the report. 

When he finished, he reached over for the bell, and summoned a servant. 

“Yes, my lord?” The man bows his head. 

“Call for the Head Maid.” Kaji traces a finger over the papers. 

“Young Lord?” The Head Maid bows her head at him. With the passing of his parents, she had been the one who managed the household in place of his mother. Now with a new lady of the house, his wife should be one to do it. “Shall I start training the Miss tomorrow?” 

Kaji bluntly responds, “No, there’s no need.”

The head maid is taken aback, “May I ask why…?” 

“She doesn’t need to do anything.” You were raised preciously. Even the rain could leave you ill for days. You shouldn’t be forced into a duty you never wanted, especially one that’s tiring. Remembering Nirei’s words: The lady spends most of her time reading. “Also, make arrangements to expand the library.” 

~

The Head Maid was the same woman who entered aside Riko on the morning after the wedding night. “What do you mean I won’t be handling the household?” 

“The Lord has not permitted you to do so. I will continue to carry on the work of the lady of the house.”

Kaji not permitting you was one thing, but the way she talked down on you, saying you weren’t the Head Lady irked you. 

You later found out the Head Maid was also Kaji’s nanny and took care of him while also managing the internal affairs after his parents passing. There’s no way he would side with you, a woman he just met over the woman who cared for him since he was an infant. So you just decided to bite your tongue. 

“I can’t go to the library?” Frowning at the footman. If Kaji didn’t want you to do anything, you would surely die of boredom. “It’s being expanded Miss, it should be finished in five days.” He fumbles out. Letting out a sigh, “Alright, I’ll come back then.” Turning on your heel back to your chambers. You don’t miss the way the servants are jeering at you under their breaths. 

It had to be the Head Maid, who else could’ve spread the word that you weren’t allowed to take on the marital duties? The servants were anxious, trying to figure out how to treat you. While they never spoke rudely to your face, they did it from behind.  From your books being placed back in the library when you haven’t finished with them to deliberately brewing poor tea leaves, the pranks continued. Snickering behind your back after playing innocent to your face. They even influenced the guards and footmen. Back at home, you would’ve had guards and a few servants accompanying you whenever you left your chambers, but now you only had Riko. Even Riko took on all the work of a low-ranking maid for you, dusting your room and bringing you your food. She picked up on the servants neglecting those tasks. But you chose to ignore it for your family, for Tsuya. 

The clan members were kind and welcoming, it touched your heart to be accepted by them. You even made friends, Tsubaki and Kotoha, who you often have tea with. When Enomoto and Kasumi run into you, they chat with you. You even met Vice Generals, Suo and Nirei. Nirei reminds you much of a sweet, innocent puppy and neither of them seems to harbor any hostility towards you like the Head Maid. They worked under General Sakura, speaking of whom, your first meeting with the two-colored boy didn’t go well. 

You were at the library alone, carrying some books back to your chambers. Maybe you picked out too many because you were struggling to walk back with them. Nobody was near except Sakura. He was speaking with Kaji and caught sight of you when he was heading out. Wordlessly he picked the books out of your arms and carried them. “Thank you, you can place them on that table.” 

“You’re kind of weak.” Your eye twitched. Was he talking about how weak you are physically or that you couldn't stand up for the mistreatment? 

“General, not everyone is as fortunate as you. Please take your leave now.” He stared at you for a moment before nodding his head and leaving. 

A day later Sakura stands outside your outer chambers, hesitating to knock. “Sakura…that’s not very kind to say to Lady Kaji…she got married in exchange for manpower, can you imagine being in her position?” Suo reprimands him as Nirei nods. 

“Are you here to see the lady?” Riko notices him standing at the door. He flinches and stammers, “Gah! Y-Yeah…” She ushers him inside. 

“Ah, Riko and…the General?” You look up surprised to see Sakura who is avoiding eye contact with you with a scowl on his face. Riko sets the snack tray down on the table. “General, do you like cookies?” 

Sakura reluctantly sits down and glances at the tray. “Here, have some.” You push a plate towards him, he grumbles and picks a biscuit up. You stifle a giggle watching the way his face lights up as he eats. He reminds you of Akiro. “You still haven’t told me your name.” 

“It’s Sakura Haruka.” He says while chewing. 

“Well, Sakura, why are you here?” You lean on your hand, waiting for his answer. 

“Urk– y-yesterday…” he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “I–I’m sor–” 

“Say ah~” You push a piece of candy into his mouth. He flinches backward into the chair, raising his arms like he is about to fight you. He’s as red as a rose. How adorable. “Oh? Do you not like candy?” You laugh as he blubbers, trying to talk. 

“I’ll forgive you if you come to have tea with me sometime. You can also bring Suo and Nirei with you.” 

And so, the next spring came. Kaji and you barely see each other, let alone speak. Even at important events, Kaji doesn’t even make eye contact with you, the house servants murmur to themselves about a cold marriage because you’ve yet to nurture an heir. Riko is still Riko, tending to you like she has been, although lately you sense she’s also on edge, spending more time at your side, recommending you take walks or visit the shopping district. Laying on your side on the bed facing away from Kaji, true to his word, he hadn’t touched you since you got married last year. He spent the nights sleeping on the sofa, until three months ago he started sleeping by your side. Kotoha, the clan’s doctor, instructed him to do so after he complained about a sore back. 

You should go see Lady Kotoha. With Kasumi’s advice, he seeks out the clan’s doctor. “My back has been aching lately and it's affecting my training.” 

Kotoha jots what he says down, “How do you sleep?” 

“On my side.” 

“Hmm, you should start laying on your back more, sleeping on your side all the time might be the cause of this issue.” 

“It’s too small for me to sleep on my back, do you have any pain medication?” 

“Too small? Where have you been sleeping?” Kotoha tilts her head in confusion. 

“On a couch.” 

“Why not on the bed?” She questions. 

“I can’t– someone is occupying it.” 

“You mean your wife.” Kotoha knows about how your marriage is with him, “Lord General, it’s common for married couples to share a bed. Even if I prescribe you with medication, the pain won’t go away.” With that, she sends him back to his estate. 

The first time he slept by your side you thought he wanted to have sex with you. Slipping your kimono off your shoulder, “S-Stop. I’m just here to sleep on the bed. The doctor told me to.” Covering his eyes with his hand, he only removes it when you dress yourself again. Not even sparing him a single word you laid back down and pulled the blanket over yourself.

“What…did you do today?” Kaji breaks the unbearable silence, laying on his back, head turned to look at your figure. 

“Nothing.” A blank reply. He could easily find out by asking Riko or any of the other maids, why bother asking you? After all this time of being neglected, you formed some sort of resentment towards him. Telling yourself it was only a matter of time before he takes in another wife, a woman he truly loves. Your mother often wrote letters, asking when she would meet her grandchild and to try and seduce Kaji. Over time the letters have gotten worse and worse, lately you just chuck them unopened into the fire to be kindling. Clutching the blanket closer, you close your eyes, falling into a dreamless slumber. 

Kaji clenches his jaw, his insides cringing in pain, a part of him wants to be angry and yell at you. He takes a deep breath, looking at your back, he wants to reach out and touch you. To feel your skin against his, at first, he thought he could just ignore you. But now, he isn’t sure. He would usually ignore when the other men talk of you, how gorgeous you are, and well that was true. However, when he overheard a man from the Komoku unit talk about the things he would do to you if he were in Kaji’s place, that had his blood boiling. His vices had to pull him off the guy as he pummeled the bastard with his fists, in a fit of anger he unsheathed his blade towards another Bofurin member, and Hiragi had to clash with him to pull him back to his senses. He never felt such a rage on behalf of anyone ever before in his life, the feeling scared him. Scared he would turn back into a beast. 

“Kaji, this is proof of your feelings towards your wife.” Hiragi pours him a cup of alcohol.

The younger male shakes his head in his hands, “That’s not possible.” 

“You fought on your wife’s honor this time, I won’t punish you…Lord General Militant Mizuki also wants to extend his apology to your wife.” 

“...Hiragi…how do you get along with your wife…?” Kaji strains out. 

“Are you having marital problems?” 

“We don’t talk, the only time I touched her was during the ring exchanging ceremony…we haven’t had…” 

“Your first time yet huh?” Hiragi finishes his sentence, “Well, I don't have a wife myself…my advice probably isn't the best in this situation. Let me ask you this Kaji, do you want to change your relationship with her now? Do you want to be closer to her?” 

Kaji pauses, does he want to be closer to you? The way you smile at everyone except him, offer your tender gaze to everybody else. He wants you to look at him the same way, to be the recipient of your affections. Especially the way you treat the Sakura, he wants you to talk comfortably with him as well. “I…I do…”

“Then you need to be upfront, try making subtle changes. Talk to her, ask her how her day was, and make an effort. Communication and honesty are key, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. Since you guys haven’t been intimate yet, it might take a while.” Kaji nods at his superior’s words. 

Glancing at your sleeping figure, he sighs. Stretching his arm out, he hovers his hand before hesitantly touching your hair. The silky strands flow in between his fingers, he presses a kiss against it, breathing in your scent before letting go. Crossing his arms and he enters a dreamless sleep as well.

Kotoha reminded you of your sister. She was mature and smart. You were in awe when you entered her office. The jars of herbs and medicines, you never thought a woman could become a doctor. “I’m running out of supplies, why don’t you accompany me outside.” 

“Oh…I’m not permitted to go out…”

Remembering the Head Maid telling you, you couldn’t go to the shopping district with Riko. “Stay here, it's for your safety.” Live quietly like a rat. 

Even going to Kotoha’s workplace at the Umemiya estate, you had to sneak out.

“What are you saying? You have every right to leave your estate…who told you, you couldn’t?” 

“It’s nothing! I must’ve been mistaken since I fall ill often.” You raise your hands playing it off. “Kotoha, does Bofurin not hold banquets or gatherings?” Trying to change the subject, you never stepped foot out of the estate until now when Kotoha invited you to see her chambers. 

“Huh? We do, if anything we hold too many…” she chuckles. “Come to think of it, do you not like such things? You never come. Oh– I’m not trying to pry or anything, I know some people who don’t go because they find it bothersome.” 

You’ve never received word or invitations to go. Kaji doesn’t even tell you. When you asked the Head Maid when the New Year’s celebration would take place she said that there was no need for you to go. That wicked woman– it’s almost like she wants to push you out and marry Kaji instead. You can’t say anything to the servants since they all take her side and that Kaji prick probably won’t even hear you out. 

“When will we be heading out? Shall I meet you here?” You avoid her questions altogether. 

~

“Miss, please don’t walk too fast!” Riko speeds up trying to catch up with you. “We shouldn’t wander too far from General Sakura and Lady Kotoha…” 

“It’s fine, I just want to see the hairpins in that shop, Tsuya’s about to give birth soon, I want to send her a gift. Will you help me pick something out? Riko…?” You turn around but don’t see her at all. Looking around, the crowds of people walking by make it difficult to spot her. An uneasy feeling creeps up, you should try going back to the way you came from. Retracing your steps, you're grabbed by your arm and yanked into an alleyway. “MMPH!” You try to scream, but a cloth is placed over your mouth. An odd scent fills your nostrils. 

Riko desperately tries to call out for you. You’re able to faintly hear her, before succumbing to unconsciousness. “Miss? Miss!” 

“Riko? What’s wrong?” Kotoha notices her panicking in the middle of the street. Sakura walks out of the medicine store behind her carrying bags. 

“The lady! I can’t find her!” 

Stirring awake, you open your eyes to find yourself lying on the wooden floor of a shabby shack. Wigging your hands, your wrists and ankles are bound by a rope. Eyes darting around the room to see what was going on. 

“Lookie! She’s awake!” A man’s shrill voice pierces your ears. 

“She is? Hmm…?” A second voice. “Hey, you idiot! You grabbed the wrong chick! She ain’t Kotoha Tachibana!” The other man grabs him by the collar about to punch him. 

“Shit? Really? My bad my bad…you barely gave me anything to work with!” 

“Dumbass! You stupid fucker! We can’t get ransom with some unknown girl!” 

“You sure? Her kimono looks expensive~ She was also traveling with a Bofurin General, you know how protective that clan is with their members.” 

They continue arguing, and you see the door is slightly ajar. Squinting your eyes you can see a forest beyond it, now inspecting the men, you notice one has a dagger strapped to their thigh and the other has a katana on their hip. One of the men noticed you staring, “Well hello there…wow she’s a gorgeous girl. I’m sure we can sell her for a hefty bunch.” 

“She’s likely married, she ain’t a virgin, we can’t get that much.” He scoffs, rubbing at his temples. 

“Then lemme play with her for a bit…, I went through so much trouble. We can just sell her to that old lady running that brothel. I’m sure she’ll rack in a bunch of money.” 

“Fine, sun sets in two hours.” A third voice speaks up, much for gruff than the other two. He leaves out the door.

“Fuck this, M’ going for a smoke.” The second voice leaves, leaving the door wider. Probably so he can hear if someone goes wrong. With more sunlight pouring into the dark shed you can clearly see the man’s face, a dark scar running down it. 

“Whewwww…I’d never seen a woman prettier than ya. I’ll say…got permission to play with you too.” 

“Play?” You croak out. 

“How interesting! Not ‘Where am I?’ or a ‘Why are you doing this?’ hmmm?” 

“You wouldn’t tell me anyways.” Speaking as calmly as you can muster. 

“I like ya…don’t like my women all whiny and crying. Ruins my mood, I think I'll enjoy you. Might even visit you at the brothel we’ll sell you to.” He licks his lips, the action making bile come up your throat. “Righty! I got something that’ll make ya feel real good!” He pulls out a vial of liquid. “Pucker up!” You try moving back, but he grips your mouth, pouring it in. Closing your throat to prevent it from going down, he clicks his tongue and shoves two digits into the back of your throat making you gag the liquid down. “There we go! It ain’t poison if that’s why you're shaking.” He smiles. The murky substance drips down into your stomach as you cough. 

Grabbing the dagger at his thigh, you flinch, pressing back against the wall. He hums as he drags the tip down your chin and chest, the sharp blade cutting the front of your kimono, slowly exposing your chest. Dread fills you, is anyone coming to save you? Whatever he gave you, you didn’t have much time to waste. Clenching your fists you wait for him to take back the knife. A sinister grin on his face as he scoffs at your tough demeanor. He’s speaking, but you can’t hear him, focusing on when the knife will be farthest away from you, he starts waving it around, pointing outside. 

You’ve always been weak, even standing out in the sun for too long would leave you ill for days. 

But you never realized the other downside of it until you were cornered by a son from the Hanazawa clan. He pinned you against the wall and demanded to know why you didn’t respond to his advances. Luckily, Tsuya was looking for you and he quickly backed off, fumbling out some excuse about you dropping your handkerchief and he wanted to give it back. The feeling of being helpless and powerless was horrid. He could’ve had his way with you– do what he wanted to you. 

A few weeks later you ran into Akihiro. “Have you just finished training big brother?” 

“Yes, is there something you need?” He eyes you up and down, seeing that you are troubled. 

“Do you know how to take a man down?” 

He stiffens up, “Did something happen?” 

“Oh, um nothing– I wanted to know– just in case.” 

“Hm, well I do see how it can be helpful in that case.” 

Slipping your hands out the rope you’ve been working at, you lunge at the man. Moving like how your brother taught you. Adrenaline rewiring your brain, you push him backward, kneeing him in the crotch, and shoving your elbow into his mouth to shut him up. The dagger slips out of his hand as he tries to shove you off, biting down on your flesh. Grabbing the blade, you plunge it repeatedly into his neck. Over and over again until he stops moving and his eyes roll back. Dark red liquid oozes out of the protruding skin, flowing down onto the floor. The man goes limp and you finally back off, looking over at the door to see if anyone was coming back inside. Slicing your ankles free.

A slip of relief, you’re crying. You didn’t even cry at Akihiro’s funeral, but now you mourn his death. Looking past the door into the forest, that man said the sun was going to set soon, you didn’t have time. Making a run for it, kicking off your shoes and socks, you dash out into the forest. The two other men shout behind you, chasing you down. Your lungs screaming at you, and your knees crying out as adrenaline rushes into your veins. Stumbling over a few sticks and rocks, you pray to not lose your footing. Tears bubble in your vision as you blink them away, a silent prayer for any kind of help. 

“Stop! You bitch!” They scream after you. 

Gasping for air as you feel your limit approaching. Right out the corner of your eye, you see a slip of green moving, Bofurin green. 

“Ren!” You wail, turning to run in the new direction. Please, please, please. 

“Over here!” A new voice shouts. You catch sight of a burgundy-haired man, Vice General Suo Hayato. He raises his bow, aiming behind you. His lone red eye is steady as he shoots, and you trip as the arrow passes by. Finally, looking behind you, the men turn tail and run, fleeing to save their lives. Panting on the ground, your throat is dry and hoarse. Someone engulfs you in their arms. Wrapping themselves around you. Who is it? Your vision is blurry as your head is tilted back, there’s a deafening ringing in your ears, and all you can see is gray. 

“Lord General Kaji! Lord General Kaji!” Everyone looks up as Nirei bursts into the meeting hall. 

“What’s going on?” The Lord Commander stands up. 

“The Lady– Lady Kaji– she’s gone!” For the first time in his life, Kaji feels his blood run cold.    

The nearby west forest was the first place to search. Bandits would kidnap women, often holding them there. He wasn’t much religious, but he begged and pleaded for any higher being to ensure you were safe. Hopelessness, regret, desperation, what else could he feel? 

Don’t be hurt, don’t be injured, please don’t die. 

All he can do is blame himself for his carelessness, touching your disheveled limp form, he wants to puke. Your cheek, colorless and clammy, holding you tightly against him. 

If only he paid more attention if only he accompanied you if only it wasn’t like this. 

On one hand, he was terrified of being vulnerable, but on the other, he wouldn’t mind being blinded by his emotions since you had become his whole world. He could no longer deny it, he fell helplessly under your charms from the moment he saw you. He no longer wanted to deny it. 

“Go after them! Don’t kill them, not until I talk with them!” His men obey his orders, hunting down the men. 

“She doesn’t look good, we should take her to Lady Kotoha–” Suo reaches down to feel your temperature. 

Kaji slaps his hand away, “Don’t you dare touch her.” He bares his fangs, wrapping you in his haori and carrying you away, away from the miserable place. 

Whose crying? 

Mother? 

Tsuya? 

It hurts. 

I can’t breathe. 

Anybody…

“I’m not your mother! You aren’t my child! Stop calling me that!!!” 

Father, why were you so nice to me? 

Tsuya…why didn't you resent me?

If you had held a single piece of hatred for me, I wouldn’t have felt so indebted. 

Can I wish for my own happiness? Am I allowed to wish for something like that? 

“Is it poison?” 

Kotoha shakes her head, “It’s a common aphrodisiac, but what they gave her is a much more potent form.” She hands him a jar, “This might ease the pain…” 

“How do I make it go away? How– How can she no longer be in pain…?” Clenching his fists at his sides, he is unable to look at your writhing form. 

“The quickest way is a release. It’ll detoxify her.” 

“You can’t mean–” Kotoha nods. “We– We haven’t even–” 

“Lord General, you’re her husband.” She calls his title to ground him, “Since you guys haven’t…you can do it without penetration.” Kotoha glances at his hand. She stands, a slight bow before leaving, shutting the doors behind her. 

Kaji sees you grasping at your chest, at the torn kimono, he grits his teeth. Sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair out of your sweaty face. Your pretty face scrunched up in agony. He wants to cry. 

“Help– cough hurts…” Your eyes open, staring at him with a drugged gaze. Tears slipping down. 

Wiping them away with his thumb, “Don’t cry, please don’t cry– I’m going to take care of you…” Pulling you into his lap, feeling how you're overheating, seeing you in pain stabs at his heart. He tries to remember the boys talking about their night deeds, to remember how to do this. Gulping, he pulls the end of your kimono up to your thighs, deeply inhaling before he moves his fingers closer to your core. It's wet, dripping, crying out, for something, anything. Your hips twitch at the contact of his digits against your folds. The drug destroys all reason as you grip his thighs and roll your hips. Mewling when your clit touches the tip of his finger. “Shhh, it's okay…” Kaji smoothes your hair down. Slipping one finger in, you gasp as you throw your head back against his shoulder. He begins to curl it, squishing it against your walls. 

Choking out a moan as he inserts another finger, pushing them in and out of your cunt. He closely watches your reactions, the way you jolt and squirm when he presses against your g-spot. His restraint breaks, he wants to bring you to your release and make you feel better. 

Your cries of pleasure fill the room as he quickly finger fucks you, slipping his other hand down to play with your clit. “Guh– mmnn s’good-hahh!” Slurring out, unable to form any actual words. The desire for more, your eyes catch onto his dark gray ones, his Adam's apple moving as he swallows. He shivers and lowly groans when your plush lips make contact with the skin of his neck, suckling on it. Your hot slimy muscle lapping at the sweat beading on him. 

He breathes harshly, telling himself you're not in your right mind, and he to stay on task. How he dreamt of you making these sweet noises in the dead of night, having you all to himself, making you his. It’s driving him wild. 

You begin thrashing, Kaji tightens his hold on you, keeping you in place. You claw at his arms, body trembling as you come undone. Your mouth is ajar as you gush, clear streams spraying out of you onto the sheets and flow about. He continues to move his hands to prolong your orgasm, helping you ride it out. You shake against him and he can see the change in your eyes, the drugged haziness clearing up a bit, making you more aware. The aphrodisiac is wearing off. “Ren…” You murmur before going limp, exhausted and drained. It made sense for you to pass out. His forearm against your head, you’re cooled down now. 

Placing you back down on the bed, Kaji calls in a servant to help clean you as he makes his way into the washroom. Standing behind the door as he palms his hard cock, his pants straining against it. Tugging his cock out he spits on his head to pump himself. Replaying your moans and expressions as he works himself to his climax. The way you called his given name– cum spurting out his angry red tip as he gasps your name over and over again. Fuck.

~

The windchime jingles, and you wake up oddly refreshed. “My lady!” Riko throws herself beside your bed, “I–I was so scared!” She helps you sit up, fat tears pouring out of her eyes. 

“Are you alright…? I gave you some medicine…your fever has gone down.” Kotoha places her hand over your forehead. 

“Kotoha..?” You didn’t expect her to be by your bedside when you awoke. 

“They were after me…I feel responsible.” The brunette trembles, rubbing at the back of your hand. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” You give her a warm smile, happy she was alright. 

“Girl, why didn’t you have anyone with you?” Tsubaki sits down on the edge of the bed. 

“What the hell were you doing?!” Kaji grabs Sakura by his collar. 

“I was guarding Kotoha!” Sakura grabs Kaji’s wrist. He releases his grip, he clicks his tongue. 

“Tch– who was the guard with her?” 

“There wasn’t one– she said she found people around her bothersome.” That doesn’t make sense, when you were back at the Hattano clan, you would have guards and servants around you at all times, and you were basically pampered– he didn’t receive any word from anybody you were heading out. Things just weren’t adding up.

*Notes

[jordanrosenburg]

After watching the “Quiet On Set” documentary, I can’t help but feel like there are literally no good people in the entertainment industry. Even the “good” ones aren’t good. It solidifies that we don’t actually know anything about them. We only know who they present as to the media. 

I think like most people around my age, we grew up watching Nickelodeon during its golden age. I always looked forward to watching “All That” not only because it was funny, but because it was something I could watch with my older siblings. It was something the four of us could laugh together about. My sister and I still laugh over the bit from “Keenan and Kel” where Kel admits to dropping the screw in the tuna. So many iconic characters and television shows were created at the hands of Dan Schneider. 

What else was created at the hands of Dan Schneider were countless acts of abuse, harassment, manipulation, and much more. His sets were homes to child sexual abusers. Adults who are around children each and every day, taking advantage of their trust and innocence, grooming them and harming them physically and mentally. 

It’s not easy for victims of abuse to speak up. Many aren’t believed. Reliving trauma is a horrific experience, so I commend each and every person who shared their story for this docuseries. There were previous cast members who aren’t as well known who got to share their truths, there were crew members sharing stories about Dan’s harassment and sexism on set. There were many crew members that felt uncomfortable about the scenes they were shooting, but no one spoke up. Dan had so much power at Nickelodeon because he kept churning out hit after hit after hit. The parents weren’t much better, but I’ll come back to that. 

The docuseries revealed three adult men who were caught for child pornography, and for sexually abusing children. One man’s name is Brian Peck. He groomed Drake Bell for years. Joe Bell, Drake’s father, did everything he could to keep Brian away from Drake because he knew something just wasn’t right with how Brian acted around his son. Brian eventually convinced Drake to fire his father as his manager, and let his mother take over. This gave Brian the room to drive Drake to and from auditions, take him to Disneyland with him and his friends, and more. Drake Bell revealed in the documentary that Brian Peck sexually assaulted and abused him for years. Since Drake was a minor when it started, his identity was kept secret.

During the trial, many people wrote letters for Brian Peck, attesting to his character: James Marden, Taran Killam, Alan Thicke, Thomas DeSano, Ron Melendez, Rider Strong, and Will Friedle. Some of these names are extremely surprising, and others aren't at all.

Joanna Kerns saying, "there must have been some extreme situation or temptation exerted on him to influence is actions" at the time, and is now saying "I have now learned that my letter of support was based on complete misinformation.

Knowing what I know now, I never would have written the letter". For me, it's not even about her writing the letter, it's about her blaming Drake Bell, the victim, and child in the situation, as if Brian Peck wasn't a grown man who should have known better.

Kimmy Robertson also wrote victim blaming language in her letter of support for Brian Peck.

Rich Correll wrote, "it would be my pleasure to work with him again". And then he did! Brian was allowed to work on The Suite Life! Correll later said, they had no input or involvement in the casting". He also went on to say that, "Mr. Peck simply replied that 'the problem had been solved'".

The series went on from there, explaining how Dan’s behaviors just got worse and worse, and he “flew too close to the sun”. The inappropriate sexual innuendo bits on his shows happened more and more frequently. This included constant closeups on actors’ feet, many of the young female actresses being forced to be squirted in the face with various liquids to represent “money shots”. Ariana Grande probably had it the worst in that she had to film videos that went directly to YouTube, many of which included her biting her own toenails, squeezing a potato until juice squirted out of it, etc. Just absolutely disgusting things that do not make sense for a CHILDREN’S television show. These weren’t jokes for kids. This was Dan Schneider abusing his power, and seeing how much he could get away with. 

It wasn’t until Jeanette McCurdy’s mother died that Nickelodeon finally launched an investigation into Dan Schneider. Jeanette talks about this in her book, “I’m Glad My Mom Died”, which was a heart wrenching read, but well worth it. Jeanette returned to work a WEEK after her mother died from a long battle with cancer. Because of the backlash she got for that, Nickelodeon realized that it was the culture Dan created that probably made Jeanette feel like she had to come back, that she couldn’t take more time off. 

All Nickelodeon did was remove Dan from his sets, and made it so he could only watch from his office and give notes from there. Even though he wasn’t physically on set, the toxic and hostile environment was still alive and well because he was still watching everyone’s every move. 

Thanks to #MeToo, more and more women started speaking up about their experiences on set with Dan Schneider. And then in 2018 Nickelodeon finally kicked Dan Schneider to the curb after launching another investigation based off the new claims. The investigation didn't reveal proof of sexual abuse, but it revealed more cases of harassment of his actors and his crews.

Child stars are often made fun of and exploited by the media as they transition into adulthood. We watch their mental health decline until they’re caught having a breakdown. People point and laugh, and say it’s just another child star who couldn’t handle life as a grown up. But what I think a lot of people don’t understand is that many child stars are forced into the entertainment business. Parents put their financial burdens on their children, tell them they need to work to support the family. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a child. So, if something bad is happening on a set, a kid is going to be too afraid to speak up because they could be fired, and if they’re fired, then they’re not making money for their families. The parents are supposed to be on set and with the kids at all times. But so many turn the other cheek and don’t speak up because they don’t want to risk their kids getting fired. 

It just feels like no adults, not even the ones you’re meant to trust, are safe to be around. In some way, shape, or form these kids get abused. Whether it’s sexual abuse, racism, inflicted eating disorders, or other types of mental abuse, they’re not safe. No one is looking out for them. Everyone is more concerned with making money. 

The entertainment industry squeezes the youth dry and tosses them aside when they can’t legally control them anymore. And we wonder why so many of them have a tough time later on in life. The lucky ones are helped through therapy, and the not so lucky ones either turn up dead, broke, abused, or end up abusing others as they were abused. 

I am feeling very sad and heartbroken. And I’m not sure where to go from here. So many of these shows have brought me comfort and laughs over the years. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to enjoy them again. Is it okay to sit and watch reruns or should we be boycotting everything? I want to help in the ways that I can, but I also know that the world will stop caring about this in a week or so when the next big truth bomb about something else is dropped. 

People who have no moral conscious, people who are okay letting children be hurt for the sake of their own wallets shouldn’t have any power. And I hope everyone involved in hurting these kids, past and present, is forced to answer for what they did. I hope they’re shamed and cancelled and doxxed and everything else bad that can happen to people like them. I hope they go broke and become ruined. And at this point, I hope Nickelodeon just crashes and burns. They don’t deserve any salvation. 

[panlight]

I agree with Renee getting worse thru the books. I think Charlie suffers from the same regression. In Twilight he comes off hands-off but loving. He buys Bella a truck, he's taken care of his parents, etc. By Eclipse he's too dumb to make pasta and highfiving Bella's assaulter. Of course many fans have headcanons on WHY. I still hold that Meyer just A. Wanted Bella to be a Super Mature Old Soul, and B. Wanted Bella to be "right" in defying Charlie later on in the books, among other reasons.

Right in Twilight I didn't think Charlie was actually that inept at caring for himself or his household, I just thought Bella was employing the same teenage hyperbole that she used in saying "haha I took over the bills when I was six" or whatever. But then as the books wore on, it was like, oh he literally doesn't know you can't put metal in the microwave???? How did this man take care of himself and his elderly parents??

There's an interesting divide in fandom, I think, between people who look at Bella's relationship with her parents in-universe or out of it. That is, there's a lot of people who really feel for Bella and see in her someone who was the victim of parentification and neglect. They see a child who was forced to grow up too fast to take care of her parents and feel a lot of sympathy for her and imagine how it has informed the choices she makes in the story.

Then there are folks who look at it from an out of universe perspective, which is close to what you're saying here: that SM wanted Bella to be an Old Soul and seem mature and she doesn't really need her parents and that's why things were written the way they are. That whether Renee is a good or bad mother isn't really the point; the point was Bella needed to go to Forks for the story to happen. SM wasn't really interested in exploring parentification or any of that, she just needed a way to make Bella seem more mature than the average teenager so her relationship with an 100-year-old 17-year-old works.

I don't think either one is better or more "right" than the other, and both can be true at the same time! I can only say that I was in the out of universe camp originally; I was just like, it's a YA story, of course the parents have to be kind of useless, and I didn't read much more into it than that. Like yeah Renee not showing up to graduation is weird, but I was like "Bella already visited Renee at the beginning of the book, I see why as a writer SM didn't see a point in More Renee." But I've seen a lot of really thoughtful meta about Bella as a parentified child and how that can explain things like why she can't empathize with Rosalie's desire for children, or Bella's low self-esteem, etc. Certainly I think Midnight Sun takes this more in-universe approach with Renee coming off even worse than she was before and Edward musing about how Bella feels like she has to be useful, has to be a caretake, has to earn her place in a family, etc.

But yeah I think that came later, for both Renee and Charlie, and originally it was just "I need kind of hand-off parents for my YA story" and then letting them be a little bit of comic relief: Charlie's useless cooking, Renee's frantic emails, etc. She meant them to be kind of funny and then over time it got darker.

[samkerrworshipper]

togetherness | pt.2

part 1. | part 2. | part 3. | part 4. | part 5 |

longawaited and has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now cause i wasn’t quite sure if i liked the direction it’s gone in… but highliting different issues n stuff so i hope y’all enjoy! again i’ve edited this on my phone whilst reading from my kindle lol so not going to lie i’m aware that the editing could be shocking… there’s a few more parts sitting in my drafts so lmk if y’all want more

warnings: child exploitation, themes of sexual assault of minors, just general hurt with protective n supportive tillies

“Now that we’ve settled that, is there anything, anything at all that you’d like to tell me that I could help you with?”

I gulped, there were about six things I could think of just off the top of my head. I was tentative though. I could feel tears starting to form in the back of my eyes as I tried to make the decision in my head.

“No judgement?”

Sam’s immediate nod in response was comforting and apparently enough to get me talking.

“It’s going to sound stupid and I don’t even know what you could do about it considering that I’m probably somewhere in the wrong with it as well.”

Sam looked like a mixture of intrigued and perplexed.

“Y/n, even if I can’t do anything about it, you look like you just need to get it off your chest, I can be that for you as well, just tell me what’s been bothering you so much.”

I sniffled and nodded at Sam, this situation was so abnormally vulnerable for me.

“You know that I was rough around the edges when I got here, I know you haven’t heard the whole story, to put it simply I went through a rough patch when I was 14 and 15, before I got here. I’d just had spine surgery, I thought that I was never going to walk again, let alone play football. I turned to a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, anything. I ran away when I was 14, I don’t remember much of it, just that when I returned home my parents had had enough and they sent me off to the AIS for Tony to train me. Anyways, I’m rambling. Somewhere along the road I sent some explicit videos, photos and texts to my ex boyfriend, graphic ones, there’s a lot of them. He’s been posting them on reddit and twitter and they haven’t gotten any attention yet but with all the media coverage and bad press I’ve had recently I’m worried they are going to be brought up and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Sam’s expression was one thing, completely deflated and shocked. She was typing furiously into her phone whilst she was listening to my story. It took a few minutes of silence for her to reply to me.

“First off I want to start off with telling you how grateful I am for you sharing that information with me, it can’t have been easy and you are incredibly brave for telling me. I’ve got some follow up questions that I need to ask, you don’t have to answer them, I’d just appreciate it if you could try your best, okay?”

I nodded quickly in reply to Sam.

“Okay. How old were you when you sent these videos and how old was your boyfriend at the time?”

“I was 14 or 15, he was in his mid twenties.”

“So that puts him in his late 20s or early 30s right now, if my maths is correct. Did you take these photos and videos or did someone else?”

“I took most of them but he took some.”

Sam nodded at me again.

“Okay based on that question I can tell you that this ex boyfriend of yours is legally in possession of child pornography, that’s an indictable crime. If you want this to well and truly stop then we can go up that path. I want us to talk about this with Tony, it’s ultimately your decision but I think it would be very sensible to take this up with him at the very least. Y/n, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I need to stress to you how important it is that you understand that. No one is going to blame this on you, because it isn’t your fault, you are a victim of a crime. That isn’t something light. I promise you that I have your best interests in concern when I’m telling you this. I have to ask, have you talked to anyone else about this? Your family? A therapist? A friend? Leah?”

Leah Williamson, my arsenal team captain and my best friend/mom/girlfriend. I shook my head at Sam, I’d wanted to tell Leah, she was the only person I probably trusted enough to tell but I hadn’t seen her in weeks.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it?”

“I was going to talk to Lee about it, eventually. Just with her ACL and us being in different places it didn’t make much sense, plus this stuff is so fucking stupid I didn’t want to bother anyone with it, I’m sorry for bothering you with it, Ellie was right I’m being fucking selfish.”

Sam’s face was unreadable, it was clear she was pretty deep in thought. She sat across from me for a few minutes, in thought, before she stood up and walked around the table, sitting herself down beside me.

“Can I give you a hug?”

I nodded and relaxed a little bit as I felt Sam’s arm snake its way across my shoulders, inevitably bringing me closer to her and into her chest.

“Williamson would want you to tell her, she’ll probably be mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You are not being a bother to anyone, you have human emotions and this situation you are in is a hard one. You aren't being selfish, you are asking for help, which is a very human thing and you very clearly need it right now, there is nothing wrong with that. Now, how about I call Williamson for you, I’ll see you if you can get down here? I’m going to call Tony down here, I’ll brief him and he’ll help, okay?”

“I don’t want to tell Tony, he’s going to be mad and he’ll probably tell me this kind of behaviour isn’t wanted on his team and then I’ll get sent home.”

I could feel the material of Sam’s jumper that she must have thrown on after training soaking up my tears, that was embarrassing.

“I know you don’t want to, and I can promise you that Tony is going to be nothing but supportive, you’ve done nothing wrong. There is nothing illegal about what you did, now or then. Tony is not going to send you home, I promise. Now, do I need to call Williamson or can you do it?”

Realistically I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to.

“Can you?”

Sam nodded at me immediately, which comforted me a little bit.

“I wouldn’t have offered it if I couldn’t. She should be in Sydney right now to watch the Lionesses play tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what we can work out for you. I don’t have her number though, so can you call her on your phone and I’ll talk to her.”

I nodded quickly, shakingly pulling my phone out of my pocket and pushing it out onto the table. I very quickly pulled Leah's contact, I’d called her last night so it wasn’t hard to find. She was the only person in the world that I could talk to when I was at my lowest, the only person who actually cared about me. So last night, whilst I was mid panic attack, on Ellie's and I’s ensuite floor I called her and she’d talked me through it. I should have told her then, it probably would have saved me this whole interaction with Sam, but I hadn’t wanted to worry her anymore, so I blamed it on pressure of being selected to start this week and she’d accepted my answer.

We’d been texting most of the morning, her asking me if I’d gotten sleep and if I was feeling alright, I’d answered shortly with an array of 'yes', because I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I passed the phone over to Sam once I found her phone number and she clicked the call button before pressing the phone up to her ear and standing up from her seat, starting to pace between the seats.

“Hey Leah, this is Sam, Sam Kerr, from the Matildas. Look, I’m here at our Sydney training facility with Y/n, we’ve just had a pretty serious conversation with her about some problems that she’s had recently and I was wondering if you were around so you could be here for her.”

Sam pulled out her own phone again as I assumed she listened to Leah’s response. It amazed me as to how fast her fingers danced across her own screen, it was a different kind of multi tasking.

“Yup, Mmm. Alright, I’ll send you the address, it’s not far from you guys hotel from recollection. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being able to do this for her, I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it then.”

I gulped as Sam said her farewells and then hung up the phone before walking back over to me.

“She’s coming down, should be here in fifteen or so. She sounded worried about you, mentioned something about you having a panic attack to her on the phone last night and that she was concerned about you. I’ve texted Tony, he’s finishing up with Ellie and then he’s going to be down here. I’m going to get Steph to meet Leah downstairs when she gets here and she’ll bring her up, Y/n, we’re all here to support you however you need, alright?”

Me and Sam stayed silent in the room until about ten minutes later there was a distinct knock against the door.

“Sam, it’s me, unlock the door.”

Steph’s voice was pretty distinct, even through the heavy door. Sam stood up almost immediately, walking to the door and unlocking it before a grumpy looking Steph and a flustered version of Leah made their way through the doorway before Sam had the opportunity to relock it. Leah’s eyes went straight to my own, her whole facial expression was very controlled, she could command an entire room with that face, I knew from experience.

“Are you okay?”

Her words were directed at me, and only me. I pressed my tongue against my front teeth and lip, trying to decide how to answer the question.

“There’s some stuff that’s been happening that I haven’t told you, I’m not in trouble, or at least that’s what Sam is telling me. It’s some stuff from my past, when I was a kid. Explicit images and photos, on the internet, from when I was a kid. They popped up a few weeks ago, starting when I was in Spain with you before we came here. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I was at fault for it as much as the person who has possession of them. Sam told me that it isn’t, that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry, I know it was fucking stupid and I should have told you about it or not done it, I don’t even remember taking any of the photos or videos, it just happened and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want it getting out to the public and I just, I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Leah’s face relaxed a little bit as I progressively talked and rambled. Once I was done she walked over to my spot, seated on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me.

“Hey, it’s alright, we’re going to sort this out. She’s right, you didn’t do anything wrong and you should have told me earlier but I am so grateful that you are telling me now, yeah? You are so brave kiddo, that’s child exploitation and whoever has possession of those materials is the one who’s in the wrong, okay?”

I nodded into Leah, Steph and Sam were whispering between each other behind us.

“You have to take legal action though.”

Those words made me feel like I’d been stabbed and my guts had been ripped out of my body cavity.

Leah let go of me very gently and pursed her lips.

“Because this isn’t going to go away if you don’t, and I know that you are strong but you aren’t going to be able to live if you know that this person who has possession of these materials is still out there. You’ve been checked out for weeks now, since before Mallorca. You aren’t going to check back into your life until this goes, I know it. I need you checked in, I need you to be my girl, not the skeleton of your own body that you inhabit as a coping mechanism when something bad happens.”

I think Leah would have said more if it wasn’t for the incessant knocking against the door that came again. Sam was the one who went to the door again, letting Tony in. He looked flustered as well, and a little bit worried. I’d known the man since I was 15, he’d seen me in some pretty interesting situations. Sam intercepted him before he could say anything, pulling him aside and giving him what I assumed to be the rundown of the last hour.

“I don’t think I can handle this getting out, it will, if I take legal action this is going to get out and then I’m going to be Y/n Y/l/n, the Matilda’s exploitative rookie and I’ll never be back here. My career will be over, Jonas won’t want me back, everything I've worked for will be done.”

Leah took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around me and working her hands through my scalp and hair.

“If you take legal action you will be supported, I’ll make sure of it. We are a part of a community of women that uplift us for everything you do, this won’t be any different. There will be some who judge, there is always going to be someone there to judge you. Y/n, you need to do this for your sanity, I won’t lose you to your mental health again, not like last year. Kerr has done the right thing here, bringing this up, it shows me that she cares a lot more about you then you think, it also shows me that she knows what’s best for this team and you. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t think this was the best course of action.”

I nodded into Leah, trying to convince myself that her words were correct. Eventually, after Sam had given Tony the full rundown he sat down across from me, exactly where Sam had been beforehand. Sam and Steph both stood behind me and Leah, Sam’s arms resting gently on my shoulders, it was grounding.

“Sam’s told me about what’s happening. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, it’s not something that anyone should have to deal with, ever. Second of all I want to let you know that this team, this whole nation is in support of you. Look, it’s too late for me to take any action now. I’m going to get the police to come down tomorrow morning, you aren’t in trouble. I just think that they are going to have a better understanding of this situation than any of us could. They’ll come down, we’ll have a talk about all of this, they’ll ask the questions they need to. We don’t need to make any decisions now, we’ll talk to them, Sam and I will be there to advocate for you. After that we can make decisions about taking legal action and whatnot. Otherwise I just wanted to tell you genuinely, from the bottom of my heart how much we all care about you and value you here, we are all going to be here for whatever you need in the future, you are a valued part of this team and family and we are all here to look out for your needs, okay?”

I gulped, I could feel fresh tears springing to my eyes again. I was petrified of the police, to say the least, but Tony’s voice was so reassuring. He was the father that I’d never had and when I was 15 and he’d met me I’d been in a bad place, I’d needed him to be that figure in my life and he had been. He gave me a routine, gave me something to wake up for every morning. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Tony. He’d given me a chance when no one else had been prepared to and for that I would always be in debt to him for.

“Okay, I’ll get in contact with the police, we’ll get a constable down tomorrow morning and we can have an open conversation with them about it, you are not in trouble, nothing is going to happen that will end in consequences for you. I think though that you need to head back to the hotel and get some proper sleep, your body needs it. So head back, don’t worry about any of this, because I’m going to sort it out and we’ll talk about it in the morning with a clean slate and mindset, alright?”

I nodded at Tony, I didn’t really have much to say.

“Thank you Coach.”

He nodded at me, before standing up and walking around to the other side of the octoval table and giving me a pat on the back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t worry about this anymore, it’s going to be okay. Get back to the hotel, we’ve got an early wakeup tomorrow.”

I nodded at Coach, watching as he left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.

“I’ve talked to Steph, her and I are rooming together so we’ll switch, she’ll stay with Ellie and you can come and room in with me, I think we’ll keep it that way for the rest of the tournament.”

I looked over at Sam, nodding along with what she was saying. Leah reached her arms around me, a big bear hug.

“And I am here, I expect you to check in with me, at least twice a day. When you guys head off to Melbourne or Brisbane I’m not going to be able to be there, so I need you to stay in contact with me, okay? Anybody does so much as look at you wrong I want to be the first to know, okay?”

I nodded at Leah, half in fear, half in adoration. She was the only person in the world that I actually trusted in. Our bond had been forced, when I’d moved to London to play for Arsenal I’d been moved into the spare room in her apartment and in a very short amount of time we’d created a bond that extended beyond the realm of friendship. I loved her, she was the first person besides Tony to give me a chance and he was obligated to give me on, Leah had chosen to fight for me and to stick by my side even when it wasn’t easy, she was a good person, better than I was sure I’d ever be.

“We’ll drop you back to your hotel on our way home Williamson, it’s the least we could do considering you got here so quickly, can you just give us five minutes to grab our things from the locker room?”

Sam’s voice held no room for argument, she was insisting on giving Leah a ride home and Leah didn’t try to object.

“Please, call me Leah and if it’s no trouble I would really appreciate it. I can meet you guys down in the foyer in about five, I need to go to the loo, so whilst I’m doing that how about you guys go and get your stuff together?”

Sam, Steph and I all walked back down to the change rooms in a comfortable silence. It was when we actually made it back to the rooms that I realised I still had my boots on, the cleats that were spotless from not even getting any wear at training. The cleats that a few hours ago had seemed impossible to tie up. I made quick business of pulling them off of my feet, throwing them into my kit bag and pulling out the pair of Nike dunks that I’d worn in earlier when we’d all come down here for our match analysis. Sam and Steph both made quick work off slipping out of their training kits and changing into sweat pant duos that matched with me. After they’d gotten changed and refreshed we all grabbed our bags and whatever other things we had lying around before making our way down to the foyer.

Leah was waiting for us, tapping her foot violently against the marble floors. When she spotted the three of us out of the corner of her eye her stress ceased almost immediately. I’d learnt a lot about Leah in the amount of time I’d known her. One thing about England’s captain was that she was not as fearless as everyone credited her as being, she put on a brave face, a bloody good one, but she was just as human as everyone else and sometimes it showed, especially when she felt uncomfortable in a situation or she didn’t think she deserved to be where she was. I’d moved in with her initially just before she'd led the Lionesses to their victory at the euro’s, and at the time Leah had been a basket case to be nice. I think that was how we’d bonded, through our similar insecurities of not being good enough to fill the shoes that had been passed down to us.

“C’mon cap, let’s get going.”

Leah smiled at me and nodded. We’d been keeping our relationship under wraps for a few months now. Neither of us were insecure in our situation and we were happy to enjoy our private, happy and blessed life together. Plus we hadn’t really seen much of each other in the past month or so, being caught up with our obligations to our national teams. Leah was also very committed to her rehab and I couldn’t be there for every step of that so we’d spent some time apart. We’d both agreed when the new Arsenal season rolled around that we’d tell the team, but still keep it under wraps from the public for as long as we could. Neither of us were worried about the public finding out, I was out, had been since I was 14. Leah wasn’t officially but she’d also never dated a man and in the eyes of the female soccer world that pretty much means you're gay. It would come out when it did and we were prepared for that to happen.

We walked out to Steph’s car, piling all of our bags in the boot before Sam and Steph slid into the passenger and drivers seats whilst Leah and I both took seats in the backseat. Somewhere along in the drive her hand made its way to my own, resting gently on top of my knee cap. I interlocked our fingers and smiled up at her, this was the part of a secret relationship that I liked, getting moments just between the two of you that only the two of you understood. The sweet nothings. I felt my heart plummet a little bit as we arrived out the front of Leah’s hotel and I realised that I was going to have to say goodbye, potentially for a few more weeks. That was the suckish part of being a professional athlete messing around with another professional athlete, there wasn’t always a timeline on when you’d see each other next, sometimes it was just situational.

I made the call to walk Leah to the door of the hotel, when we got to the doors I gave her a hug, a big, long hug. She hugged me back, tightly. Leah was good at hugs. When we finally had to come apart I looked up at her, with my big green eyes and apparently she couldn’t resist because she reached down and honoured me with a peck. It was nothing more, a small gesture but to me it was everything.

“I love you okay, be safe, text me, call me. I am always here for you, don’t keep me in the dark on things that you think are going to burden me, they aren’t, call your therapist, please.”

I nodded at Leah, she was using her captain's voice with me that she knew I couldn’t refuse.

“When you get back to the hotel I expect you to eat some proper food, not of those bloody granola bars that you insist are nutritional, proper food. Hydrate, at least a litre of water. Sleep, you deserve to sleep, let yourself sleep. Call me in the morning and tell me how you are feeling, okay?”

I gulped and nodded at Leah, an action that I was becoming aware I might have done too much of tonight.

“Love you too, thank you for being here for me.”

“Anytime, I’m only ever one call away, now go home.”

I gave Leah one final look before walking back to the car, closing the door behind me only to be bombarded with googly eyes from the two co captains sitting in the front of the car.

“You and Williamson?”

Sam’s voice was the first one to break the sound barrier, it scared me a little bit.

“Yeah.”

I made it sound like it was a non fact, like every person on the planet knew that I was in the bed sheets of the Lionesses Captain.

“Fuck, I knew it, McCabe owes me fifty quid.”

Steph’s voice was steadier and surprised me a little bit.

“We all had bets, how long have you guys been together?”

“We’ve been dating for 6 or 8 months, fucking around with each other since I joined Arsenal so about a year or so.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose to the top of her forrid, obviously very surprised by my answer.

“You're trying to tell me that you and Lee have just casually been hiding a relationship behind closed doors for months.”

“I mean we’re roommates, it wasn’t that hard to hide, plus we just aren’t rabbits who need to fuck on every surface unlike Sam and fucking Kristie, I’m never going to be able to mentally burn the image of you two getting at it on the pool table after the olympics, that was fucking traumatic.”

Sam’s face had flushed, we constantly brought it up with her. After our bronze loss to the US in the olympics a lot of the team had gone out in celebration with the Americans, what I hadn’t expected to find that night when I’d walked into the room that I thought was the bathroom was Sam eating her secret girlfriend out on the table. It had messed with my brain permanently.

“Hey you're the one who’s always bringing it up, maybe you were secretly into it, secret fantasy between you and Williamson.”

I loudly gagged from my spot in the backseat, extremely displeased by Sam’s imaginative imagery.

“Nobody thinks that Sam, it’s just you and all of your lost brain cells.”

There was something so comfortable about the dynamic between Sam and Steph, something so sisterly and bonded. They were like family, they messed around with each other and pushed each other but they loved each other and the both of them knew that at the end of the day. They might not have been the closest on the team, they weren’t each other's best friends but they were family and that was all that mattered.

“Whatever you say Stephy.”

[satoshy12]

Tiny Percy

Tiny demigod Percy did beat up bigger bully in School. And the thing is, no one believes the bullies when they go to the teacher to snitch (many bullies are that way). The victim fights back! I will make him a bad person!

The situation worsened as Percy confronted Ethan Thompson after he attempted to grab his lunch once more. Percy beat up the taller bully.

After the event was reported via email, Principal Matthews called Ethan, his parents, Karen and David Thompson, and Sally Jackson.

Percy was immediately accused by Karen, who said, "Your son assaulted my baby boy, Ethan." 

Sally Jackson, Percy's mother, responded with disbelief, "I don't believe it. It can't be true."

At the same time, Percy's home teacher and swimming and gym instructor, Coach Anderson, weighed in skeptically, saying, "I find it hard to believe. Perseus has a lot of athletic potential. Let's avoid drawing hasty assumptions." The suggestion is that, given young Percy's ability, he would simply ignore it even if he did participate in such an activity.

David Thompson chimed in, "You've seen how Ethan is." Ethan has several bandages prominently around his head and limbs, indicating that there are several wounds or abrasions below. There appears to be a fracture to one arm, as indicated by the cast, which is kept immobile by a sling. His face is rather bloated, and the bruises that have caused his skin to become purple and yellow are a few days old. Patches adhere to various body areas, perhaps masking minor wounds or scratches. "My child is an MMA fighter! Explain this!!

Sally was unwavering in her belief that Percy was innocent, saying, "It just can't be Percy."

David brushed off Sally's justification, saying, "Don't try to excuse it!!"

Principal Matthews stepped in and called Percy into his office, recognizing the gravity of the issue. He hit a button on his radio. "Perseus, could you please come to the principal's office?"

Shortly after, there was a very young voice that said, "It's Percy, and you all know it." 

The parents saw that Percy was considerably smaller than Ethan as he walked in.

This even made some kids and professors chuckle, as it finally made the Thompsons' parents understand why their assertions appeared improbable to others.

The parents, bewildered as to how their small child could have surpassed their strong son, were left to wrestle with the possibility that their son's story could not be credible. To hide a friend who had committed this, he just told lies.

"We would just now depart, and it would be best if we forgot about this whole thing," David Thompson said as he got to his feet. "It seems like I noticed the error."  Karen quickly got to her feet as well and dragged her son out. Already, this was too much for her, and she was terribly ashamed. She didn't even look aside as she dragged her son, Ethan, along.

"Can I stay here till math is done?" Percy asked Principal Matthews as the three of them were outside and heard the two parents scream at Ethan.

Sally gave her son a look and said, "No." Percy simply turned and walked out the door. "Drat."

[vampyrekat]

cant believe i forgot about maleficent and her emo boytoy omg thank you for cleansing the timeline🫶

I am so pleased to bless the timeline with a fine vintage ship, come join me in savoring it. I checked out the novelization on a whim (commuting) and I was like, oh right! I forgot this movie and specifically this ship was made in a lab for my brain. So now I've rewatched the film and I'm lost in the sauce.

I love that Maleficent/Diaval is the story of two people accidentally raising a baby into a teenager together and the whole time Maleficent is oblivious (not her fault! she has bigger things going on!) while Diaval is like "that's my wife, she's terrifying. i love her. <3" Even when Aurora meets them properly as a 15 year old, Maleficent is Going Through It™ while Diaval is just so hype to finally introduce himself to his child.

Pictured above: moments that really did a number on me. He raised this kid and now he gets to finally meet her properly and they're both so delighted by it while Maleficent watches from the corner like }:-(

I really feel like the most beautiful and unique part of it is the genuine backtalk; Diaval might start out subservient and he certainly maintains that position but as time goes on he proves himself perfectly willing to correct or backtalk Maleficent. He basically functions as a reminder of her heart and moral compass while she is recovering from her hurt (and subsequent revenge bender) and it's delightful to watch because you rarely see a position where a male character is so open and honest while the woman gets to have the delicious redemption arc. Maleficent is going through an enemies-to-godfamily relationship arc with Aurora while Diaval is patiently waiting for her to realize he's got heart eyes (AND for her to realize she does actually love Aurora, that's another great element, he realizes this LONG before Maleficent does and tries to gently nudge her over to that revelation). But also this:

He really said "I am just pretending to be afraid of you; I know you won't hurt me even if you push me around" and he was right. What a lovely thing to be playing out as the B or maybe C-plot. There's enough insane drama happening, it's nice that there's something a little lighter and more steady in the background of the story.

Another thing I was musing on through the book and film -- as much as I adore found family and platonic love, it's nice to see a story where a victim of what is clearly coded as sexual assault and is at least intimate partner violence finds love again. I know Maleficent & Diaval isn't technically 'canon', but again, the film was juggling enough relationship arcs with Maleficent & Aurora and Maleficent & Stefan. It's okay, in my eyes, for the romance element to be subtext, when it's clearly still important and given some narrative space and weight.

I had a more coherent thought but finally found a gif of just this moment (thank you, @raainstorms, you spoil us all) so instead you get this. I love it. Maleficent really said "go defend our kid who I haven't realized yet is our kid" and Diaval said "understood". Never proposed but nevertheless they've been married for years.

"Who fell first vs. who fell harder" is defunct. "Which one is the evil minion who adopted the baby on sight and who is the Evil Empress who had to slowly realize they love the baby" is the vintage yardstick everything else has to measure up to. I will read 100,000 fanfics of Maleficent only belatedly realizing that somewhere in the process of acquiring her goddaughter she also acquired a husband. Maybe she acquired the husband first, she certainly does not know. Diaval understands this and is okay with it, Aurora probably doesn't understand in the slightest how her godmother did not pick up on anything.

And the sequel! I realized after reading some other posts that I did NOT remember the sequel correctly because my memories are "fairy genocide and also Diaval and Maleficent are co-parenting". Apparently somewhere in there Maleficent is shoved into a love triangle with two men who are not her long-term boytoy/coparent/external moral compass, which is ridiculous, because the film ends with them attending their daughter's wedding in matching outfits.

If Maleficent 3 (boo hiss at Disney, make something new, cowards) isn't about Aurora parent trapping them I am going to riot in the street.

TL;DR: My roommate described maleval as this post and I have not been able to shake it from my mind because it really, really fits: