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terryblycute · 4 years ago

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2020

overall this year was bad. bad, just like any other, how its always been, so nothing special. im writing this because my memory is getting worse and worse, and im sick of not remembering

corona lowkey annoying cuz i couldnt visit my friends on new years eve, but other than that everythings the same. on a positive note i didnt have to work as much either, and on a negative note i didnt get as much money. but thats alright.

((rude, unempathetic rant incoming. i know what im about to say is stupid but its my feelings and i want to talk about it regardless. if anyones reading, skip this)) what HAS been bothering me the most about corona is all the „2020 bad“ memes and people legitimately complaining about it. cuz like... nothing has changed. every year is horrible. it always has been. every year innocent people die, and nobody can do anything about it. of course i feel horrible for the people who lost their income/housing or family members because of it, and they have all the rights to complain... but lets be honest. none of the people i talk to were affected in any way by it. and the majority of people i hear talking about it havent lost their family/friends or homes to it either. its just a mild inconvenience to them, not being able to party without being arrested or seeing their friends or some shit. boo hoo, im alone all the time and never see any of my friends either and at this point im completely love & touch starvated regardless of corona. get over it

so... corona things out of the way, ive started thinking about my mental illnesses & trauma... A LOT. ive never thought about it all that much, because critical thinking is not something im able to do, usually. ive been reading lots of comix of people talking about/depicting mental illness, so i guess that kind of inspired and changed something in me, if i like it or not.

well, it turns out there is a shitton to unpack. i mean, ive always known there is so much wrong with me... but i was never really aware, if that makes sense. im still in the dark about most things, but its all coming together, little by little. i dont want to put my finger on anything, because im dumb, but at this point im 100% sure autism/aspergers isnt the only thing i got. far from it, in fact.

ive also learned that a lot of things in my life have left me with genuine, significant trauma, which ive never really realized before. i just thought the way i react to some things is cuz im, yknow... a whiny bitch. to name a few things:

me getting defensive/snappy when people of „authority“ (family, caretakers, doctors) ask me if im tired, how late i went to bed etc bc it is indirectly tied to why i was forced into psychiatry & the abuse i had to suffer there

fight or flight response activating when people talk about being in support of outdoor cats (i dont even want to fucking elaborate. tl;dr: my cat was almost killed by outdoor cat people and would be dead now if i hadnt gotten my shit together and worked hard on getting my own apartment, where he is safe. ive recieved no support & only been demonized during this time). this is a genuine fucking trigger

my rocky relationship with my mother and my thoughts about her, who is a genuinely good person, but managed to fuck me over, rip my entire ass apart and ruin my life regardless. also her lowkey restrictive/controlling upbringing stunting me for life

my huge, life-impairing abandonment issues. i dont even know where they come from, all i ever experienced were regular breakups & rejections with no hard feelings that just hit me especially hard for no reason i guess

how i cannot bear to be alone in a discord voice channel waiting for people to join & my stunted ability to talk to people when im alone with them (i got actively excluded by my best friends for being suicidal & a downer, they created a discord voice channel i couldnt see & didnt have access to for them to be without me, all while i was waiting all day long alone in our regular channel for someone to join me, in the same server)

relatedly, my inability to talk about my problems & mental illnesses with them. is also related to the cat incident

also my inability to show affection ever since my best friend stopped telling me „i love ya“

nothing else i can think of rn

i also realized that something is fundamentally, objectively wrong with me. i cant really talk about it... but the actions of one of my friends made it clear to me. it was proof that, somehow, im imbued with the horrifying essence of some eldritch lovecraftian horror being, repulsing everyone without them even realizing, unable of being loved. and its just... this knowledge, its too heavy to bear, for a single human being. i dont know what to do. i will have to live with this for the rest of my life - and i cant do anything about it.

ive also reconnected with an old friend over animal crossing, who introduced me to some other old friends (they were more like aquaintances back then, really), and in one of them ive found a friend for life, pretty much. but theyre all great, really.... i seriously appreciate that. they took my mind off my other best friend, whos been kind of ignoring my needs, resulting in me having panic attacks every day.

also, im making more of an effort to talk to & reply to the people i care about, cuz i have this friend who would chat me up every now and then, without me ever messaging him, just for me to ignore him for a couple hours cuz im too tired/busy/whatever... so at one point i was like „wait, what am i doing? hes one of the few friends who actually makes an effort, and i really care about this bitch!!“, so i went ahead and got my shit together, as best as i can at least (depressions still a bitch but im trying)

one last thing i wanna talk about... my view on life. this is gonna be huge, i think. big trigger warning for suicide stuff & other negative shit

im suicidal. always have been. thats not a secret, everyone who knows how to read between the lines (i cant, but most people do) can see that. sometimes you dont even have to, cuz im telling you outright. i usually dont talk about this openly though, not to my friends at least, cuz people only put up with suicidals for so long, and i cant afford to lose anyone else... ahem. anyways, something changed in the way i see suicide. when i was younger, i wanted to die because the pain i had to bear was just too great. there was no hope. and its still true - the pain is unbearable. i am in pain every waking moment. i have been for almost 11 years now. there is no joy, there is no happiness, there is only distraction.

however, thats not the reason i wanna die anymore. i think think that if i put in effort, i think i could be... not in pain, all the time anymore. but, heres the thing: i dont want to. im too tired, im too broken. i dont want to change, and i dont want anyone else to change. now i just want to die, for the sake of it. because i love death, with all of my heart. i think death is the best thing that could happen, to anyone. i 100% believe death is the only thing that will save you, ever. i am not exaggerating when i say „i love death“. and to live, without having the means to safely & efficiently kill myself... its destroying me. i get panic attacks every week thinking about it. what if someone else leaves me? im not gonna take it anymore, i refuse to. i refuse to keep suffering, but to end my suffering once and for all i have to die. i really, truly hate living... it just really isnt for me. and thats okay, im fine with it, im fine with dying - its what i want, its my choice, its my destiny - and i love this destiny. i wouldnt want it any other way - to kill myself, or be killed, thats how i want to go. i just need someone to help me. idk where im going with this, so lets move onto my next point:

my worldview. so.. im not sure when this all started. was it 2020? or 2019? maybe it started to dawn on me even earlier, i dont really know, but its been really intense in 2020. the way i view the world & life has changed drastically (or rather, formed, ive never really thought about it that much before). my mom has made it clear to me that you could be a genuinely good, loving person... and still fuck up your kid for life. and this is why i came to the conclusion that good parents, who dont fuck up their children irreversibly... they dont exist. the moment youre born into this world, youre doomed. there is no one who doesnt suffer, there is no one who doesnt want to die - and if they tell you they dont, they either just dont know yet or are in denial. if there is ANY chance of someone growing up to suffer just like i do - it is not worth it. irresponsible, even - to bring a kid into this world. and, the way the world is, and continues to be, there will never be the chance for someone to never suffer like me. which is why i dont think children should be born into this world, ever. and it fucks with me - it fucks with me so bad.

...happy mew year, everynyan

#long post #suicide tw #negative #corona tw #idk what to tag #2020

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smurfettte · 8 years ago

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💎✖️️💕🍳🍭😂

DOTT IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS TY

Im still using sm*rf bc i dont want it to show up in the tags its annoying and im sry

💎 - when and how did you discover your special interest?

Ooh this goes way back.

Well, when i was about nine my parents first seperated (they did twice, ultimately getting divorced 2nd time around) for a period of two years, and during that time we had very, very little money because my mom was a stay at home mom for years and had to get a job too, so we basically had to cut, like, everything/anything extra that we didnt need. The best my mom could do so we didnt get a total shock on top of everything was to get us the smallest cable package possible (im pretty sure it was way cheaper back then too, idk if even that would be manageable now) where we had just like, a little cluster of channels; one of those was boomerang. I was really, really sad about loosing cartoon network, so my mom hyped me up about being able to watch sm*rfs, even though i only had a very vague idea of what they were. From there, it kind of just became my permanent special interest. My mom and i watched it together a lot since her mom played into the really strange christian propaganda of “demonizing” cartoons that was everywhere in the 80s when she grew up. She would bribe her brother not to rat her out when she would sneak-watch it on saturday mornings and tbh that would literally be me

✖ - Is there something you Dont like about your special interest?

Definitely. The author of the original comics was uh… a really sexist, probably racist and a homophobic guy. Which, really shows in his earlier works – the full sm*rfette story is honestly much worse than the concepts of her origin that were kept in the cartoon. The 80s retelling is basically the comic but heavily censored for over obviously sexist content, while still being sexist in itself (just in a way where, maybe for younger viewers or a blind eye, its not obvious at first). Honestly just the treatment of most of the female characters is my complaint in the way a lot of them are portrayed, but especially sm*rfette. She cant do one self indulgent thing for herself without it being ridiculed or often portrayed as wrong, even when shes like the smartest and most caring person in the village. Its annoying and not a good message at all.

Also, it tries to be written as insanely het all the time and just isnt. Like its so gay and theres so many moments where youre like “ppl really tried to pass this as het…bitch” but time and time again… straight people think its reasonable that an entire village is attracted to. a single person (who most of the time heavily shys away from affection from men too, lmfao…). REALLY hoping the new movie addresses that in some way thats not bad, but im trying not to get my hopes up (ive got my hopes up).

💕 - Something you like about your Special Interest?

Honestly this is a lot of things, but i would have to say?? Like. Everything, except the things i dont like ^. Its constantly been such a comfort to me in so many ways. I love the characters, i love how it was my first real introduction to fairytale fantasy (aside from disney) and its just… so calming. Some people find it boring and annoying, but for me it was so easy to fall in love with and kept me company/calmed me down during some of the worst times ive ever had. Even when some of those worst times were because people would make fun of me for loving it.

🍳 - do you have a stim related to your special interest?

In a few ways, yea! I do!

I always compare it to this, but i think being surrounded in things related to it is a kind of visual stim that relates to the old woman who wants most everything in her house to be green. Just as it makes her feel calm, happy, and energetic, i have the same expirience but i sm*rf theme as many things as i can, and collect ALOT. I try to be surrounded by it as much as possible, and it always helps me to feel happy and calm. If im not in a space where its all around, i’ll have sm*rf things that i use day to day, like my wallet, cups, things like that. It always provides a feeling of happiness and safety.

Another for a physical stim is that i have a sm*rfette themed slime that one of my best friends made me for christmas! (He made a little white hat to put over the lid too, it was so sweet). Its a glittery blue, and has lots of gold, blue, and flower shaped sequins in it! i love squishing gooey and squeezable stuff. Textures like that are the best ever.

🍭- a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

This is gonna be long and im sorry i talk so much, but Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Fette (so i dont have to block out the full word again) are all autistic!

- Brainy expiriences a lack of empathy, tends to micromanage more than one usually would (especially if one of his special interests are involved/its something he came up with himself) and, as mentioned, expiriences special interests (a need for worldly knowledge – especially of magic, and for papa, who he constantly seeks to impress and be respected by, no matter what it takes. He loves him and wants to be just like him, and often does things for him out of the blue just so he’ll appreciate and recognize him + his potential). He stims by chewing (probably with the handle of a wand) and by writing + drawing swirly doodles on paper with his quill pen. He infodumps, and he usually lacks an understanding of social cues; this often leads to him making “bad decisions” being highly ridiculed, often overshadowed by his peers.

- Clumsy does not quickly process information + events, his comfort object(s) is/are his continuously growing rock collection/garden that he waters and talks to everyday, he stims by flapping and jumping, and is very uncoordinated. There are often ‘simple’ things that confuse him that he is unable to figure out quickly (like putting together things that fold up - chairs, foldable tables where u have to specifically press something, stuff like that. I think its an autistic thing even though im not able to describe it very well since ive struggled w it all my life myself and i always get weird looks when i cant do it) and his special interest is Brainy. Because he is physically incoordinated and processes information slow, though people do stick up for him, he can often recieve even worse treatment from those around him than Brainy does, on top of being easily able to manipulate due to him being so easily trusting and loving. Because of this, him and Brainy often do everything together, and eventually their mutual love for each other + relatability brings them to be almost inseperable (even if Brainy looses his patience more than he should sometimes). aka theyre boyfriends it rly shows

- Fette struggles with anxiety (as alot of autistic people, like myself, do) and has hyper-empathy. Similar to Clumsy, Fette seeks comfort in her flower garden and flowers in general, often holding conversations with them. This actually is a real theory, but she believes that talking to the flowers will help them to grow, and cherishes them as if they were people. She knows the name of every flower in the forest and could tell you at LEAST 5 facts about every single one. She stims by flapping, jumping, and chewing on her hair. Fette is quick to act to situations whether good or bad, and raised voices from others can often send her towards a meltdown (in where she retreats to her house for solitude to calm down + renergize). Though she loves her friends and being with them, she is an introvert and enjoys being by herself or with her flowers to regain energy.

- Grouchy uses echolalia to express his emotions and partake in conversations, while being mostly nonverbal. He often seeks company in animals or baby sm*rf (who i believe is also his special interest) because they bring him comfort and dont ask him to explain or change who he is. He is often very distant from most people, and only opens up to being around people he feels he can trust.

😂 - something funny about your special interest?

It just made me type up like. Disorganized paragraphs when im supposed to be packing up my shit 2 go to my moms. Also just the idea that a whole village could be attracted to a single person and no one else… funnie as shit my guy

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ildivine · 4 years ago

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connor n i have been dating almost a year in july n im wildin about it.

its felt incredibly natural. even when we were spending a ton of time together, ze somehow worked it out around zir busy schedule, n still does. i reminisce on the early days in the garden... things were simple, diffurent, n naturally i couldnt keep my feelings a secret fur long. i remempurr being really excited, and really scared when that excitement was dying down, cuz what does that mean oh no is it bad??? am i falling out of love?? will the world fall apurrt even if i do??? turns out none of that is true n we jus have great chemistry by design n im grateful im a median that can suck ppl into my dreams occasionally but...

i still wonder if im doing whats right. zes just as smart, and quirky, and occasionally naive and dismissive yet utterly mature and adoring and emotive yet stable as i imagined in my mind n all my fanfictions. im not used to falling out of the honeymoon stage without immediately moving on to someone else, n honestly after ze heard abt my history with dave, we were both a bit worried about it.

but excitement and infatuation and love, romantic and familial, r all v diff things, n its natural that someone like me, who had no real concept of any of this things fur a really long time n someone like zem whos fresh to the concept yet knows how to date traditionally organically, work together well enough ive... learned enough to tell i still have a lot more to learn.

i still have a lot of negative expectations we’ve dealt with thru our relationship, and even our relationship with dean. dean is much more jaded than either of us, and connor is still brand new to the world, and i still feel confused and unsure about it all, but also two years puts a lot on a purrson n hes a lot wiser than the 3-month-old game version (of course) and i learned that dating someone i had an expectation of is kind of creepy and weird and strange, but it made us both excitable so i dont really regret anything.

but its strange to do it, again, in a way thats healthy, that moves at its own pace, that we check in on and celebrate every month if we feel like it, but if not, thats fine too. i comfortably have a brofiance and a boyfriend that ive been dating traditionally. so used to my own history of moving in immediately and then things get explosive, and it was natural for us both to have our stressors with ourselves and each other; i remember dave talking to sam at their old job last summer and saying “im kind of excited for their first fight to break out” and continued slamming me for my unpredictable, explosive history. i feel like our relationship has weaved in and out of being unsure and being absolutely, positively, definitely sure we’re a good couple n that shouldnt change!! n that has felt... the most confident i have in years, regardless of the circumstances. there were rough patches when i was relapsing heavily and ze made solid boundaries, which were completely new, because dean loves unconditionally and will accept me no matter what i do and it was bizarre to get into a relationship with someone (that is new to astral projection n was a year old when i met em lmao) that would say “if ___ happens, then we are breaking it off.” and it absolutely whipped me into shape and sobered me up even if it took months, and a lot of crying and anxiety, and i lost my point but i guess i want to say its been a great year. with covid and... everything, losing friends and other loved ones, we have spent so much time together that i have learned from. ze teaches me to relax, to get excited about learning, to want to watch television and play games that i otherwise wouldnt give a fuck about. ze makes me excited to live n thrive, n i make zem excited to experience smells, tastes, sights, sensations, places, people, things, a whole new world ze wouldnt be able to otherwise. and to be able to... understand that is good, that im a good influence, that i have given someone amazing things, is still somewhat baffling.

i dont know how i feel, still, and im sure zes settled into a label fur the time being, but i enjoy the fact that this is my furst relationship that i didnt just say “well, i might as well,” but the other person did first. that ze took that leap fur me, n also taught me to appreciate that if we did break up, it wouldnt be the end of the world, and we would still be in each others lives, and probably just fine n maybe even happier NOT tryna nagivate a star-crossed loveresque relationship between two diffurent dimensions.

but we make it work, n thats still a bit unbelievable to me. i hate putting ppl on a pedestal n going thru the celebrity syndrome symptoms disease, but since ze doesnt recieve much friendly or positive attention in zir lives in general, i think it was a relief after the initial shock n fear was gone.

neway ze played games n hung out w yong yesterday n told all our friends abt zir pokemon n im so fuckin happy fur em the end

#how long has it been since ive done a gay lil rant??? huh????#well guess what! IM BACK #i feel like im on livejournal again w this icon lmao

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wheretheroadsplits · 5 years ago

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12/31/2019

Dear Dad,

I havent written to you in while and I apologize for that. Usually when I write to you, its my time to greive and cry. I have been so busy with school and finals that I havent even given myself time to cry this month because of the holidays. Today is the last day of the year. To be honest I dont know how I feel about it. A part of me is excited to start a new year, a new chapter but at the same time a part of me is sad about it. So much has happened this past year that I dont know if Im ready to leave it behind. I know it doesnt mean that I am leaving you behind. I can never do that. But it just doesnt feel right. Ive been trying to be strong and to keep going because I know that is what you wouldve wanted. For us to continue our lives but I just miss you so damn much. It was hard being around Bri’s family during the holidays because I see her dad and Uncle Perno and I just kept thinking to myself about how much I want you to be here. It has been 9 months since you passed away and I still hear you breathing during your last few minutes. I close my eyes and I still see you laying there in the bed, no reaction or response. I still think about the last time I told you That I love you. Written on a wrote board because you lost your hearing and couldnt hear the words come from my own mouth. 9 months later and I still cry as if it just happened yesterday. I would do anything just have you back. I miss you so damn much Dad.

So much time has passed since I last wrote to you so I will catch you up on everything that has happened so far. Actually, alot of good things happened.

I finished my first semester of grad school! Honestly, it was not hard at all except for the finals. But it was mainly just alot of work, not really “hard”. I took three classes this past semester and I really loved all of them. I learned sooooo much and Im just excited to graduate and start my career. I had to do journal enteries and mine ended up being 25 single spaced pages... thats really what killed me this semester. It took so long but I actually did it. I recieved only 1 grade so far and its a 100% in my online class. You wouldve been so proud of me. I know i wasted so much time and money because I switched my major when I shouldve just kept my education major but I feel like this is where Im supposed to be. My life wouldve been way different if it didnt go down this path and honestly Im grateful that ot did.

Frankie got into the police academy!! You wouldve been beyond proud of him dad! I am so happy that he finally figures out what he wanted to do with his life. He has struggled so much over the years, I am glad that he is finally happy. He loves living with Shari. He is officially a traitor and began being an eagles fan 🤢 But I guess we can forgive him for that since he is now a south jersy boy, right? He came home for christmas and it felt good to be all together. Crazy to think that the last time we were all together was two years ago for christmas. We spent christmas just the 5 of us in our house and it was the best christmas by far. I know Frankie wouldve wanted to be here last year for your last christmas with us, but we didnt know it was going to be the last. I wish we did. On the other hand, Frankie and Shari are doing really good. Still fighting but not as bad. That will never change because lets be honest, Frankie can be an asshole and Shari is an air head. Oddly enough they compliment eachother. I know he misses you even though he doesnt say it or show it.

Guess what dad.....YOUR GOING TO BE A GRANDPA!!!!!Jess and Franklin told us on christmas! We were so excited! There will finally be a lil one of us running around haha. It is still super early so we cant tell anyone just yet but it is all so exciting. I kno Jess is a lil sad because you wont be here for this experience but she is hanging in there. You wouldve been an amazing grandpa. I just keep picturing you sleeping on the couch with our kids laying on your chest sleeping, just like how you did when we were little. Franklin is a great man and he will be an amazing father. Jess and the baby are in great hands dad, you wont have to worry about them. Franklin is taking really good care of them.

Bri is thinking about going back to school become an OTA. She is so excited about it, I know this would be perfect for her. Im glad that she is finally figuring out what she wants to do with her life. We decided to start working out and eating healthy this new year. I know weve said it so many times before but this is it. We are going to make changes this coming year. I cant imagine doing all this without her. She has been my rock. I am so in love with her dad, I dont even know how to describe it. I really do see myself being with her for the rest of my life. I wish you got to know her like this. But im just happy that you got to meet her and you knew the truth. The main thing was that I wanted you to meet the woman that I love and you did. I plan on to marry her one day, and I wish you could have been there but I will save you a seat up front next to mommy. I know you loved me very much and accepted us being together.

Christmas didnt feel the same at all. I do not think any of us was in the holiday spirit but we all tried to be for Mommy. Mommy over did it with the gifts this year. But she does every year so are you actually surprised by that? I joked around and said that its because you werent here to tell her no haha She misses you so much. I can tell that she was sad to not have you here this year. I invited her to Bri’s family on Christmas eve and she actually came! It look like she had alot of fun, Im just glad that she came out with us instead of being home alone after Aunt Rosaria’s house. Today is New Years Eve and she is spending it with Jessica and Franklin. She was going to stay home alone but I guess they convinced her to go over. I told her that I would stay home with her but she told me not to. I just dont want her to be alone tonight. She is a very strong woman, you married a wonderful person. I honestly dont know where I would be if it was not for her.

Finally, Luigi, Lily and Layla love you. Luigi misses you and still lays down on your recliner and sleeps on your side of the bed. Dont worry Dad, hes keeping Mommy good Company. Still being a pain in the ass ofcourse!

Its crazy. When you were sick, I thought I was okay. I thought that I came to terms with what was going to happen. And I remember sitting around the table with Mommy, frankie, jessica & franklin and we were just talking about it when you were in the hospital. Frankie said that we are okay now but what is really going to hurt is down the line when the significant life moments happen, and your not here to experience it with us. I knew that it was going to hurt but I never knew that these moments would come so soon. Frankie moving out, jessica married and pregnant, Me and bri, going back to college, getting Layla. All of these moments that you should be here for and you are not. That is what hurts the most.

Its going to be a new year and I am still going to hold you very close to my heart. I will continue writing you letters and thinking about you every day. I will continue to take care of this family and be there for them when they need it. I will continue making you proud in every way possible.

I miss you and I love you more than anything.

Love always,

Your little girl

Gabriella xoxo

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mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog · 6 years ago

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"New Lexington Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43764

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I am a sales producer for an auto company who everyone who doesn't live under a rock has heard of. I am wondering how you would want to be approached in a daily setting that would make you think about auto insurance or want to get a quote from me, and what about that quote would be the selling point is price wasn't an issue?""

What is the rating on Safeway Insurance?

http://www.safewayinsurance.com/SIC/Default.aspx http://www.insure.com/articles/interactivetools/sandp/new_s&p.jsp I didnt found it online. by rating, I mean what letter? STANDARD AND POOR'S RATINGS DEFINITIONS AAA : EXTREMELY STRONG AA : VERY STRONG A : STRONG BBB : GOOD BB : MARGINAL B : WEAK CCC : VERY WEAK CC : EXTREMELY WEAK R : UNDER REGULATORY SUPERVISION NR : NOT RATED Do small insuarance companies get rated?""

Should I buy car insurance or not?

I am a teenage driver of 16. Insurance is very high for a teenager. My parents have Allstate Car Insurance for four of their cars including a Toyota Corolla which im going to be driving. The Corolla is covered by AllState insurance. I have a California Driver's License and live in California. About 6 months ago, my mom asked the insurance company whether the insurance would cover the car if she lent the car to someone and the insurance company said that they would cover the car as soon as the person who borrowed the car has a VALID DRIVERS LICENSE. I have a valid drivers license but I am under 18 (I am 16). The insurance person did not say anything about age. My question is whether it is necessary or not to buy insurance for myself. It will be very expensive and I do not want to pay for it but I will If i have to. Do I have to get my own insurance for the car or not? If I dont buy insurance and I drive the corolla and get pulled over, am I okay or will I have problems?""

An affordable car to purchase with cheapest insurance for a 17 y/o?

Hey, I'm 17 and looking to purchase my first car. Of course, insurance is a big issue for me. I was wondering what car would be a good buy where insurance wouldstill be cheap? I'm looking at spending around 500 for a second hand car, so all these new electric economic cars which cost thousands that google keep bringing up are too miuch for me. I heard about ford KA's, Nissan Micra's, Renault Clio's and Vauxhall Corsa's being good, however, when I look on insurance websites there's about 50 versions of each car with different engines, doors, years etc, and I don't have the slightest clue which version of the car would be the cheapest, other than having a smaller engine. I was wondering if anybody could provide me with the make and models of the cars which are the cheapest to insure, but are still well priced and can be picked up easily second hand. Thanks""

Insurance Price for a teen driving a Toyota Celica?

I'm 14 about to turn 15 and get my restricted. I've been looking for a car and I found a 2000 Toyota Celica GT for $5,000 list price which is well within my price range. The car is a manual which I'm fine with, The only thing I'm worried about is the insurance cost for a teen driving a sports car and wanted your opinion on the price of insurance and on how good of a first car a Toyota Celica would be. Thanks for any and all help, Grant""

Motorcycle Insurance?

Does motorcycle insurance cost more than car insurance would or is it about the same?

Unitrin Direct Auto Insurance (Any good?)?

Asked by: hyphenga-ga I recently responded to an e-mail for a free auto insurance price quote (I'm in California). I wasn't really looking to shop around - and wasn't planning to switch companies to save a buck or two, but I was kinda shocked when the price quote I got from Unitrin Direct (same coverage limits and deductibles) was $510 less than I'm paying now. I called and asked what the catch was and they said they sell direct with no agents/offices and pass the savings onto the customer (logical, but obviously scripted answer). They also touted an A.M. Best Excellent rating, but what good is financial stability if they bungle claims (for example) or have terrible customer service? So I guess I'm looking for a little confidence - or a big fat warning - before I jump into anything. Are they reputable? Is there any objective info available about them? (I'd love any good/bad comments from Unitrin customers out there too.)""

Insurance costs between 1.0 and 1.4?

i just got my driving licence and im trying to buy used car.. im looking at insurance prices and was wondering how much difference i would have between 1.4 engine and 1.0. im in my mid 20's and was wondering if u could get a car with bigger engine then 1.0 and still pay reasonable price im looking for only few years old small car.. nothing flashy.

Will this affect my auto insurance rate?

I accidentally hit a poll, no one was injured. Only damage to my front bumper. I went to a body shop and the estimate is ~$2000. My deductible is $500. Should I go through my insurance or just pay it out of pocket? Will a claim automatically make my insurance go up? I am a 29 y/o married male with a clean driving record.""

How much does insurance pay on total loss if owner owes more than its worth?

If a car is worth appoximately 30,000 and the owner owes 40,000 what will the insurance company pay the owner? I hope it is 30,000....""

Can i drive my dads car without insurance?

Alright so i live in Ontario, Canada. I just recently got my G2 licence, and i am dying to drive the car, but my dad isnt sure if he would need to get insurance in my name on the car which i will drive. he already has insurance on the car, however its on his name. Can i legally drive that car if the insurance is not on my name?""

""NYC Car insurance for 18 year old dude, please help.?""

Ok so heres the deal, I am 18, a guy, living in nyc and looking to buy my first car. Now my parents dont drive so Im on my own for insurance. Now Ive been shopping around to every large company and even small, and the lowest I could get a monthly payment down to was around $371 a month. That is the state minimum coverage with no collision coverage. Its gonna be used whatever I get so I dont need the collision. Now the help I need is if anyone knows any possible way to get anything cheaper, I can deal with something like $200-$250 a month. If anyone has a success story or knows any agents or brokers personally and could help, Id love to know. Now dont tell me I should go on a family member or something, thats not an option. Ive done all the research and been doing quotes 24/7. Now Im a student just trying to get to school and work safely and efficiently. I have a clean license nothing on it. Please and thank you for any help.""

Do I really need car insurance?

I'm paying $170 a month for car insurance, it went up a little because i was in a minor accident and I feel it's a bit much to be paying every month. So if I don't have ...show more""

File auto insurance claim or pay out-of-pocket in NJ?

My 17yo daughter just got her graduated NJ license, skidded on wet corner, causing $1300 in damage to wheel & susp. We have $500 deductible. Can we ask our insurance co. how much our rates will go up if we file a claim, or will that automatically flag her for additional points?""

Light collision on the highway...covered by insurance?

my girlfriend was driving my car, and i was sleeping so i didn't see what happened... she was driving on the most left lane, and there was a car on the right hand side of our car.. again, i didn't see what happened, but she told me that car didn't stay on his lane, and slightly crossed to our lane, then the front of our car hit the back of that car... no one is injured, my gf and that driver both stopped on the shoulder and see if there are any damages... but it was at night, and too dark to see anything... that man said he is just going to go home and drive away... after we went back home, we found out there are some scratches and some dent on the front of my car... i took it to the auto body shop, and it the people there said it's gonna cost about $900 to fix it... should i contact my insurance company..? or is it not covered..? (sorry, i know i am all new to this...)""

How much do you need to pay for car insurance in NY?

I dont have a car and dont know anything about car insurance, just want to know the basics.""

Car Insurance - Young Driver 18 years old Male - NEED HELP PLEASE!!!!?

I have recently passed my driving test (3 days ago!) and will be buying a car ASAP as I have a job lined up and have just left school. I've tried tens of comparison sites and even rang some insurance companies direct to try and get a better quote... I have looked at the smallest possible engine size, that being 0.8l and 1l engines. I've looked at cars such as FORD KA, Vauxhall Corsa, Nissan Micra, Renault Clio and a few others too. The cheapest quote I have found for all of the cars is for a 2000 Ford KA 1.3l 3dr 4 seats (the smallest KA engine size possible) and that price was 3,800 paying monthly with a company called My Policy . However, I have used various other KA registration plates all the same engine size but some being 2003 models or 2005 and the insurance jumps to over 6,000! I haven't found another FORD KA cheaper than 5,500 and obviously if I can't get that one particular car out of the thousands for sale that insurance quote will be invalid anyway. Basically, I've tried everything. Adding named drivers (with lots of driving experience 30+ years), putting my car in a locked garage, on the road, tried different cars - models, registration plates, ages, engine sizes, and not to forget the countless comparison sites. The funny thing is with MyPolicy I went onto their site directly to get a quote and they were unable to give me a quote when entering exactly the same information into the Tiger.co.uk comparison site, that site brought up the 3,800 quote with MyPolicy but when I use their site directly they can't give me a quote... I know insurance is based on MANY factors, believe me I understand that. I tried entering different post codes (just out of curiosity) and it did help, but only fractionally. It just seems (other than the 1 obscure quote of 3,800 on ONE car, out of the 100+ I've tried) that I can't get a quote cheaper than 5,000 for a car with the smallest engine size and insurance group possible... It's ridiculous. Please don't advise fronting because it's illegal and I want to build up some NCD anyway. CAN ANYONE HELP ME GET A QUOTE CHEAPER THAN 3,500?! Thanks a lot, -Ash.""

New Lexington Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43764

Increase in car insurance after passing test? RIP OFF? changing insurance questions.?

i have just passed my test, and my insurance company (Quinn Direct) are trying to rip me off. When i had provisional license, my insurance was 1100 on a 1.1 saxo. which i thought was good 4 1st time driver. but now ive passed they are saying its going to increase to 2500, which surely is a load of rubbish? i did a few quotes with other companys and they are coming up around 1100-1500. if i cancel my insurance with Quinn (at a fee of 35) and join another insurance company, will i have to start over with my no claims? as i dont have a full year yet, my 1st no claim would be in march 09. please help? what should i do? i dont want to be ripped off but i also dont want to loose my half a year of no claims. Plus i also have 10 month acelerater insurance, which i paid a deposit up front, so i have 2 free months at the end of my insurance.""

So I'm looking into buying a Honda Element but I want to know how much insurance n gas n all that would be?

Help please lol and if overall if its worth it

How can I see a cheap doctor w/ no insurance?

I am 23 years old and I don't have insurance. My husband got a huge pay cut and we had to cancel it. We just can't afford it at the moment. However, I am having some serious issues and I really want to see a doctor badly. I am having horrible pains in my hands and the rest of my body and pitting edema in my legs. I don't want to rack up a huge emergency bill, but I can't afford $200 for a doctors visit. Is there ANYWHERE I can go to see a doctor for really cheap??? It's to the point where I can hardly use my hands to even type this and I am scared. Thanks..""

Immediate Medical Insurance Help Required?

Hi I am Rishika from Bangalore. I am new to this place. I had got a medical insurance done for my parents but It got expired one month back. Unfortunately, my mom is due for a surgery in the next week and I am looking for any quick medical Insurance help that I can get. I understand its too late to get a medical insurance done. I can arrange for the medical expenses by hand as of now. Is anyone aware of any policies from which I can reimburse the amount later. Or is anyone aware of any medical insurance people from whom I can make a deal and make it a cashless transaction using the insurance policy?? IM confused like hell. Please please help :(((((( :( Yours, Rishika""

Can I drive a car and get it insured in my parents name?

I'm thinking of buying a car as soon as I pass my driving test next month and I heard that car insurance for a 20 year old is really expensive so I was wondering if I was able to ...show more

Moving to Pennsylvania - how do i get car insurance?

I recently moved to PA from NY. I have Allstate insurance on a rented car using my old address in NY. It expires in a little under a month. What do I do now? How do I go about getting new insurance? DO I have to go through the crazy process of getting PA plates? (I only plan on being here for 2 yrs - then I'm moving back to NY) BTW, my parents still live in NY. I'm not sure if that can help me.""

""California insurance agent icensing question: there are four categories: Life, Fire & Casuality, ....?""

Personal Lines, and Bail. What does a Personal Lines Broker-Agent do/sell? I think the Life agent can sell health insurance and life? Fire sounds like fire insurance (duh) but that Personal Lines throws me. Any help?""

All nevada insurance?

All Nevada Insurance at Martin Luther King Blvd., Las Vegas, Nevada 89106. Have they moved?""

16 year old provisionals license Geico insurance w/Suburban estimate?

I have a GMC Suburban, year: 1998. I am 16 years old, had just passed my drivers test and got my provisionals drivers license yesterday. GPA isn't all that well right now @ 2.75, I'm not a terrible student, it's just I had failed a class & had c/d's my first year of highschool before I kicked it in gear to get a/b's in classes. If I were to get put on my parents insurance (Geico) as a driver on their plan to drive a GMC Suburban year 98. How much do you expect a month for it to increase? I will have to pay however much extra it is on their bill for my chunk of the insurance bill. Working at Subway @ Min wage, have to also pay for my phone every month (about $45, 50 a month). Tried to get a quote or look around online for a general price estimate, though I'm not 18 and unable to. Parent's are not home, not interested in waiting the few hours for them to get home and become motivated to look into it. Thanks!""

I need a cheap insurance company.?

My friends problem: Well my mom decides that im not going under her insurance today, meaning I have 4 days to find a cheap insurance company and get my car insured. If anyone could tell me what they drive and how much they pay and what company it would be greatly appreciated.""

What insurance company is best for self employment health insurance?

I am thinking about becoming self employed. What company offers the best insurance policy for self employed people?

""Just moved to Louisiana, do I have to change my address, driver's license, and transfer my car insurance?""

I moved from Minnesota a couple weeks ago and I'm afraid it's going to be expensive to change all of these, especially my insurance due to the increased crime rate here in New Orleans. Is this illegal to leave be? I am really quite clueless. What about when my tabs expire in December? Also I bank with Bremer bank which is only available in the midwest, do I need to change it? Can I keep my checking and savings accounts and open a checking account here at a Chase bank as well?""

How much would insurance be for a jeep Cherokee?

i am planning to get a jeep cherokee or wrangler and want to know how much car insurance would be. i am 16 and want to know how much money i should pay insurance to see if it is in my budget.

Michigan Motorcycle Insurance?

I live in Michigan I only ride my motorcycle during the spring and summer, which comes out to be about 6 months of the year. the rest of the time the bike is stored, with no riders. My question is can I get some sort of insurance where I'm covered for six months and the rest of the time it in storage it's on a storage like insurance? I know you can in New Jersey because my friends have in however can you in Michigan? if so could you post a link or where you got this infor from so i can contact them further thank you""

About how much car insurance does a first time 26 year old driver have to pay?

I need to know I lived in the city for many years and got by with public transportation so I never needed a car no that I have moved I need to buy a car, I hear folks says new drivers pay more..is this true of so how much more I plan to buy a used car for around 5-8 k directly no car loans""

Where can i find a good healthcare plan for myself and my kids? more inside?

39 weeks prego with number 2. and neither have insurance except the smallest will have ga medicade when he is born.i am looking for insurance to cover them mostly. and everything i see has at least a $1000 deductible. what is a good way to do this? i am 21 and don't know any thing about insurance. help please :-) i

First car ... I need cheap car insurance.. what car offers cheap insurance?

Tell me how much the insurance costs if possible, bearing in mind I am a new driver.""

Car Insurance?

I am just trying to get some quotes on maybe what my car insurance would be. I don't have the kind of car that I want yet but I was just trying to get an estimate and check and see what it would be around.. Can I get any quotes without the Vin Number?

""Cheap, but safe cars with low insurance [group 5 or less]?""

Are there cars [excluding super mini cars] that are big [i.e. saloon cars etc], but are generally cheap to insure for young drivers. As it seems the only ones that have cheap insurance are the super mini cars, and I don't really want one.""

Can you add you unborn child to your insurance?

well, I would like to add my baby to my boyfriend's insurance (the daddy) can he do it now or we need to wait until the baby is born?""

How much a car? used car + insurance + NY state?

hi, i would like to know how much can a car cost, how much is the avarege? a used car plus the insurance in New York state?""

Can someone explain how car insurance works?

Specifically, how do you pay for auto insurance? Do you make monthly payments or do you pay it at one time?""

Penalty for driving with no insurance or registration in california?

Got pulled over, had expired tags and no insurance. Officer didnt tow my car. Just gave me a ticket for both and sent me on my way. How much am i looking at?""

Top 10 low insurance and tax cars in insurance group 1?

just wanted little info about top 10 cars that are: 1.0 - 1.2 litre engine Insurance group 1 Low road tax

""Is $150/month too much for auto insurance. 21, female, full coverage?""

I signed up for Allstates full coverage insurance for my 2006 Toyota corolla. I'm 21, female, and clean driving record so far. Is 150 per month too expensive?""

New Lexington Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43764

Which company provide online health insurance?

I want to buy health insurance online without any agent. Will you please suggest me the best online health insurance plan? Thanks in Advance

Am losing health insurance...?

What are some non employer options? Live in Kansas and am clueless what to do to get insurance. Have 2 kids.... Do they qualify for free insurance? Make too much money to get assistance but not enough to pay for it. Please help. Married and neither of us has affordable employer insurance!

How to get cheap insurance without no claim bonus?

Hi basically I had been a additional driver on my brothers policy for 3 years and I do not hold any no claim bonus as it was on my brothers name. I want to get insurance done on my name now but I am looking for any good deal being a only driver with no claim bonus as I have no accident history, I have clean record of driving so any ideas on how to sort it out cheap let me know thanks in advance :)""

Insurance price?

does anyone have an idea of how much insurance would be for me to purchase a new wrx sti? age 24, pittsburgh PA, clean record...any rough estimates?""

What does 6 months mean for car insurance?

I'm 18 and I don't know munch about car insurance. For me it's about $1500 for the year or about $300 a month for six months. Is this every month for six month like January through June? Or every other month for the whole year?

How do I renew my health insurance card in the U.S?

I am 15, and my health insurance card a few months ago. How do I renew another one? Do I have to sign up all over again and do all the paper-works or I just have to go to that place and ask for a new card? May I get plenty of details about this? Because it's really important to me. The person with has the BEST answer will get pretty awesome points. Thanks :)""

Car accident I have liability the other involved had no insurance?

I got into a car accident today which pretty much totalled out the back half of my van, seeing as the insurance agent will probably call it as totalled out. Here is my question the other party told us that he had no insurance at all and I only carry liability insurance whats going to happen with my vehicle, how are my damages going to be paid?""

What is the cheapest car insurance company?

Ok, so I just want to know, as far as getting insurance for your Car goes....do you guys know like what Car Insurance COMPANY has the cheapest insurance you can buy for your car? Thanks, it would help out alot.""

Is it possible to upgrade car insurance with an ongoing claim?

Hello, I am a 19 year old male living in England. I had an accident around 2 months ago in my car of which I am the main driver and owner (no dispute here). I have been ensured by a solicitor friend that the crash was not my fault as the other party pulled out in front of me. However, the other party is still disputing liability and I have been told by my insurance that the case could take upwards of 10 weeks. I have a job opportunity starting in 1 week exactly as a delivery driver. I will technically be self-employed, so will have to provide my own business insurance. My question is: is it at all possible to upgrade my insurance to business cover while the claim is still ongoing? If this is possible, would it be allowed on the basis that I would be considered liable for this accident (at least in the short run) and thus be charged a an extortionate amount? Thanks in advance.""

Which is the best insurance company for an 18 year old male driver?

Hey, I'm an 18 year old boy (hurdle #1) and live in South-East London (hurdle #2) and I've had my license for a month now (hurdle #3!) and just bought my VW Polo 999cc (999cc!!)..I CANNOT for the life of me find a decent insurance quote I mean i'm in full-time employment but still most of the quotes I've been given are more than half my annual salary! Public transport is NOT an option because of the shifts I've been given..I've tried the young drivers' insurance with people like Co-Op and InsureTheBox but they're not much different to anyone else.. So, if ANYONE has ANY advice/anecdotes they could share, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks in advance (:""

Considering suing my car insurance company?

As we all know car insurance companies in the United States of America charge males more than females to drive a car based on real world studies . This is the equivalent of not hiring females because they may get pregnant and take a lot ofdays off... Because this is truly a real world study i conducted that males dont get pregnant as often as females. So I am highly tempted to bring this up with a lawyer or at least send a letter to my car insurance company, and i want them to hurt for it because frankly it pisses me off that i am being descriminated against. Further more, in europe, this practice of charging males more because they are more likely to drive is highly illegal. I am in no way a liberal democrat but if this sensitivity bullshit is going to stop descrimination than maybe they should give a **** about me before i start caring about them...""

Need to purchase car insurance.. what do I do?

I got into a minor accident a couple of days ago and I did not have insurance. It was my parents' car and the damages have already been paid for from my personal savings. Now, I am going to get car insurance. The question here is if I want to get insured, do I have to report to car insurance companies of my accident? If yes, why? How would the company possibly know I got into an accident? Also, do insurance companies screen your driver's license? If so, how much more money per year can I expect to pay for 2 points on my license for an average 20 year old? Yes, I'm not the smartest for having drove without insurance, hence, the reason why I am getting insurance.""

Can anyone tell me where to find affordable health insurance in Missouri?

I'm a rural carrier for the postal service. I'm not offered benefits for a year. But I need to be seen by a doctor soon! (Woman issues)

Where can i find car insurance for less than $50?

Car accident and insurance claim?

2 persons came to look my car for buying purpose. 1 of them was standing in front of my car and other just opened the door and turned the ignation on. the car was in gear so jumped up and hit the person standing in front of the car. man got stuck between my car and the other parked in front of my car and broke his leg. police and ambulance came. they took our statement and did not say anything to me but had separate discussionn with the othee person for long time. my question will this effect my by any mean legally? my car did not have insurance but no body drove the car either. i mean I am really scared what gonna happen to me I don't know if I shall keep trying selling my car or wait until hear from police. thanks

Co-Buyer Auto Insurance?

All, I helped ex GF to buy a car. I thought I was co signing for loan but apparantly I am a co buyer of car. The registration is her or me . I dont mind being responsible for loan. If she messes up loan I will make payments. She tells me she has car properly insured etc. What worries me is if she lets insurance lapse or cause a major accident could I end up in trouble. Can I insure myself against her letting insurance lapse or causing major injury/damage? I currently have no personal auto insurance (have company vehicle). Is there anything else I can do to protect myself? Im very worried about this. Do I need to be or am i overreacting? Pat""

State Farm insurance?

I have my own insurance and it was. 230 a month now I am getting a new car and I need collusion I am getting a Honda civic sedan 2012 white can anyone tell me an estimate on how much my insurance will go up Ps the car is financed . I have State Farm, I am 20 years old I reside in ny and I have had no accident""

""Bike insurance idea, would it work?""

As you know insurance for a 600cc sports bike for a 17yr old (male) is extremely high (I was quoted 9000+), however you may of heard of fronting, (putting someone with lots more experience and age as the main driver and putting me (17yr old) as a second driver) this apparently greatly reduces the insurance cost, however is a form of insurance fraud and is illegal. But I thought of a plan... You see I have my heart set on a honda cbr600rr, it is much cheaper than a 125cc bike that I would buy new only to buy another bike a few years later thus deeming the 125 useless, but what if I got the 600 and did make my dad (who is much older and more experienced) the main driver and me the 2nd, but to avoid it being fronting, he could use it when i'm not and I could force him to ride somewhere so ultimately he would have used it more so it wouldn't be illegal right? By the way he mostly goes out at night so it would not interfere with my needs.""

Which is the best insurance which i need to take for my parents who visiting USA?

My parents are coming to US and need to take a medical and dental insurance for them. please advise

What is most important in a car insurance plan?

Okay, I know this is a complicated question that I'm asking on Yahoo! Answers, but hopefully somebody can give a credible answer. I'm about to get my first car and I want to make sure I have the proper insurance. I don't want an insurance company talking me into buying more than I need, nor do I want to be under-protected. So what's most important? I thought I'd heard that liability coverage was more important than collision. Is that true? How much liability should I need? If someone could give me some good suggestions with some numbers, I'd really appreciate it.""

""I was denied homeowners insurance by state farm, are there any companies that will insure me?""

I made 3 claims 12/18/09 amt. $302, 9/1/08 $0; and 5/10/08 amt.$1302. Allstate has said no as well.""

Cheapest car insurance?

who is the cheapest car insurance provider in the uk?I only have one year no claims bonus and I just purchased a vw bora 2.0 and the insurence quotes are pretty high so far

Will I be covered by my parents auto insurance for an accident if im not on the policy?

I was in a car accident last night while driving my parents insured car. I, however, am not on the policy. I am 23 and live in my parents household. I have my own seperate insurance for my vehicle, which I was not driving due mechanical issues. This is the only time I have driven my parents car. Will either my parents or my car insurance cover the accident? This is what happened: I hit a car who made a left in front of me while driving through an intersection. The light was green, I had the right of way. When the police arrived the individual whom I hit admitted he had been drinking and was a marijuana user. The police arrested him and towed his car. The officer disclosed that the individual did not show proof of insurance. Also, there was a witness (the driver in the car behind me) who pulled over to check on us. He had told the officers what happened which verified my explanation of the event. I live in California, if that helps. If anyone has any advice for this scenario, please advise me on how I should proceed as I have never been in this situation. Thank you""

Decent car that's cheap to buy and insure?

Hi so I'm looking at buying a car. Right now I only have around 3,000. I would rather just get a cheaper car now but if nots possible I can wait until I have 5,000. Okay so I know I'm not going to be buying a Ferrari for my budget but I'm looking for some ideas of cars that are inexpensive to buy, inexpensive to insure and one I won't get laughed at for driving. The oldest year I would go is a 1999.leave your ideas. Thanks""

""If you have Amica car insurance, how much does 1 speeding ticket cost you?""

I live in Massachusetts. Have a perfect driving record but now I'm charged with 1 speeding ticket. How much more in insurance premiums will it cost me if I plead guilty? It's a regular speeding ticket, not DUI or wreckless driving. THanks""

New Lexington Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43764

How much money can I save on my car insurance after completion of the pass plus course?

Give me examples of how much you have saved or a friend or something

Are annuities good for young people?

Does anyone know if annuiites are good for young people, like in their late 20's. Starting a family and reading about many investment options. It seems like we've only heard about annuities for older or almost retired people, but with new prods that guarantee 7% yearly if your investments don't make that much...seems it's not a bad thing to add to a portfolio.""

How much does your motorcycle's insurance rise when your bike has been stolen?

I'm asking this question for a friend who had some filthy chavs take his bike last weekend. It was a Yamaha XVS125 dragstar, so his insurance would have been quite cheap anyway but I was wondering how much more he will have to pay when he gets a new bike. Ideally if this has happened to you can you tell me ... how much your insurance was before (and if your license had points etc) and how much it was when you got a new bike. Thx""

Broke my contract phone and have no insurance?

Basically, entirely my own fault... i have no insurance on my phone (had it for three months) and it was smashed yesterday! But my question is, if i phone up vodafone and tell them i will PAY three months worth of insurance, backdate it back to the three months i have had this phone, can I then claim for a replacement? Technically I will still be paying for insurance and they will be getting money? Is this possible??""

Progressive good student discount question. PLEASE HELP!?

i just found out i have to pay $100 per month for my insurance and i just got my license but my parents can't really afford to pay that right now so i was wondering what is their required GPA for the good student discount in California, Please help me.""

50cc Scooter Insurance Help?

I'm 16 in 9 days, and I'm going to celebrate with a Peugeot V Clic Silver Sport. However, I'm going to need insurance. I live in a quiet area, and my scooter will be kept in a locked, secure garage with four other scooters. I'm also very responsible and won't be thrashing it and doing wheelies. Does anyone think this will reduce the cost of insurance?""

Registering and insuring a salvaged car?

just bought a car with a salvaged title with full knowledge of such thinking i'll save some money. the car runs fine, everything functions as any other car and if the title ...show more""

Why does the Honda Insight ('00-'05) cost so much to insure? (UK)?

Why does the 2000 - 2005 Honda Insight have group 12 insurance status in the UK?! Its such a shame, I have been looking to upgrading my small car at the moment, and have always liked the old Insight. For some strange reason it didn't ever seem to take off, and it was way ahead of its time, and is still a very good, one of the best ever mass manufactured cars for fuel consumption (may even be the best). It has a 1 litre engine, which produces just 66bhp, but is extremely efficient so achieves 83MPG and has a 0-60 time of 12.1s (top speed: 112mph). Remember group 12. Or I could pick out a Seat Toledo 2 litre Sport - produces 147bhp, 34MPG, has a 0-60 time of 9.4s (top speed: 128mph). This is a group 10. Why isn't the insight lower?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!? Any info would be great""

Can you remove yourself from your parents' health insurance voluntarily?

I just would like to know. Is it possible? Thanks.

Does color of car affect insurance rates?

In the market for brand new car. Does color matter with insurance? I've heard red is most expensive.

What is a good health insurance for small business owners?

i currently have blue cross of california but they raised the premium. it is the worst insurance in the world and a ppo to boot, so i can barely pick my doctors. thank you in advance.""

Which is the best policies for Life Insurance and Health Insurance ?

Iam 27 years old and married.I have my father,mother and wife as my dependents and our kids in future.i want to get life insurance for me and Health Insurance for my whole family as they are fully depending upon me. - I already have Jeevan Anand from LIC Sum Assured : 5,00,000.00 Policy Term 74 (Premium payment term 17) - i am ready to spent another 20-25 thousand as annual premium for Health and any other good policies.It will be better if its consider as a good investment also. So please suggest me good policy from LIC and a Health Insurance policy available now. Your advises will be highly appreciated. Thanks.""

How much is gonna cost in Insurance if I buy salvage car here in califonia?

""Car accident, no insurance?!!!!?""

A high school kid hit my car today, I was at a stop sign and he turned too early and hit my car. I do not have insurance(welp I know, I'm a single mother we can't afford it all). Anyway, he did have insurance and he was at fault. Will his insurance cover the cost to fix my car or no? Since I didn't have insurance and all that is?""

Residency in California or South Carolina?

I live in MI, I am hoping to be a marine biologist. Obviously MI is not the best place to study the ocean and the things in it. So I want to move to California or South Carolina for some schools I like. I know that it takes 1 year to be a resident in both states but can I also take community college courses while being there? Much thanks!""

I need a good car insurance company I have 6 points and a chapter 7 in my credit report?

I have two cars one needs full coverage $500.00.00 deduc.at list, the car is a 2002 ford explorer and the other one is a 1992 dodge spirit /liability only. If you know about an insurance company that gives good coverage for a decent price let me know my current policy is $166.20 a month.""

How much will it cost....?

I live in Hemet , Southern California. I have a 9 month old son. He will be nursed until 24 months, However, he does eat some solid foods. I my boyfriend and I rent an appartment for $750- How much would our monthly income need to be to support our family? How much is utilities in my area? How much do you spend on gas? How much is car insurance? How much is it to get my car smoged? How much are monthly groceries? What other bills am I missing? Please help!""

Got my second speeding ticket will the insurance go up? do i need to go to court?

i recieved my first ticket this year in january. i went to traffic school and it got removed. so on friday i got a speeding ticket i was going 82 and the speed limit was 65. do i have to go to court? can i get it removed again? does it affect my insurance? i have ecompass insurance. im under my moms insurance is she going to find out? im 19.

I'm pregnant. Can I use my boyfriends insurance?

I am only 6 weeks pregnant and we aren't married yet. I was wondering if there was a way I can use my boyfriends insurance (Kaiser) for doctor visits and child birth. I have heard that we may have to add me on his as a domestic partner, is this right? And does Kaiser add domestic partners on a members plan? Any advice would help.""

""Will the Supreme Court ruling on Affordable Care Act affect those under 26, and on their parents insurance?""

I am a 20 year old man, and I suffer from a couple health problems that I must have treatment for. I have a job, but I do not make enough money to afford my own health insurance, so I am on my father's. I am able to do this now because the new law allows me to remain on my father's insurance until my 26th birthday. If the supreme court rules that the mandate in question is unconstitutional will it effect that specific part of the law? Am I in danger of losing my health coverage?""

How much am I gointo pay for car insurance?

I am 17 turning 18 soon and when I graduate I plan on getting a 2011 Subaru WRX STI or a 2012 Mustang GT . I was just wondering how much I am going to be paying for insurance on either one. I will be 18 when I get it, I am a male and have a clean driving record. Please help, this will most likely be the deciding factor for which car I get. I would also like to know which car you would get. Thanks!!!""

Cheapest place to get insured on a friends car?

I was insured for a week on a friends car, a 1.4 peugeot 206. on her policy and it was 22, i thought this was a little steep, as my car insurance only cost me 18 a month for my own car (when i had 1) and that was a 1.6 escort. whats the best option as i won't drive uninsured, and need to borrow her car again and her insurance company says they can't add me as a named driver as she has changed her policy 4 times already this year!""

Buying car and insurance without driver id in ohio?

hey...i found a very good car deal and i don't wanna miss this car but i just came to usa and i don't have a ohio driver id...(i got my own country's driver id) i have scheduled my driving test for next week but i want to buy this car this week for sure...can i buy the car from owner without driver id ? and if ican buy the car can i buy insurance for this car without driver id ?

Do I HAVE to sign up for Obamacare insurance?

My current health insurance will be up soon. I know that people apparently get fined for not having health insurance, or something of the sort. My question is, do i HAVE to get it? ...show more""

Are the following cars high on insurance?

Is the supra MK4, 240sx s13 and s14 high on insurance? please help I would like to get one of them for a first car but I need to know if there high on insurance.""

New Lexington Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43764

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-do-you-apply-health-insurance-james-benson/"

0 notes

darcyolsson · 7 years ago

Note

U boutta get a lpt of these bc i #only have short term memory, but 2 and 3

thats a mood

im just gonna do all u asked in one ask lmao

2,3,5,7,8,9,11,14,19,21,22,23 ‘en’ 23 (u went full dutch adorable)

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?for life is strange max/warren....................... i can barely stand warren but theyre ok as friends i guess. also anything involving alec lightwood that isnt w magnus bane

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?if u breathe an abusive ship my way ur unfollowed and added to a list i keep in my drafts of everyone i should avoidi Do Not Fuck Around

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?surprisingly?? no????

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?not really, i’ve p much some full circle where im now okay with the things i used to hate but used to love before that. bandom still is kinda ehh for me tho lmao theres a lot of m/m fetishising there so like...... yikes

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?YES ive recieved anon hate about jorts it was the best day of my lifeive recieved more but?? i cant remember what about???

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?ive already pointed this out but i would like to make clear again that i hate riko moriyama, choke on a bag of penises, fuckboy

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?kavinsky. he’s a bad guy who made some really questionable decisions but he deserved better than what he got in the end and it was Very Obvious that he had mental health issues so like. im cool w him. same w nathan prescott to an extent, he could be a bitch sometimes but most of what he did isn’t his own fault so he doesnt deserve all the hate he gets

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?honestly ‘k didnt deserve to die a very violent death’ is about it

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?about fandoms in general? the amount of discourse over small things

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?i love crack in all shapes and forms give me more of that dobby/sorting hat porn ill read it for the sheer comedic value of it

22. Popular character you hate?again, aaron minyard lmao i really dont like him

23. Unpopular character you love?again,,, k and nathan even though i see they made mistakes

worst trc character:i.. havent read them in a long while and i like. barely read them in the 1st place but uh. probably gansey out of the main characters lmao

my most unopular trc opinion (autocorrect i feel u)again,,, barely read them but the whole k thing. also, i dare say that the books are pretty overrated and i feel like the story could have gotten a better ending but! thats just me !

asks

#my dyslexia + small font + maggies super desriptive writing = no careful reading possible #pumpkinspicemclean #answered asks

0 notes

somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years ago

Text

im really tired of this drama for the sake of drama scenarios that keep coming up. like theyre completely avoidable but people choose really selfish and self centered ways of doing things and then dont even take into account the amount of people it affects. our friend was late for fishing so he left without him but didnt bother to say anything about it and just left while our friend was in transit. i mean, theyre both pretty rude. hes rude for being late, hes rude for leaving without notice. but no one cares that at 5am, our friend showed up at my house and then slept in my bed for the next 5 hours before deciding to head over to his friends house for a bbq. no one cares how that inconvinienced my day. no one cares that i didnt want to do that, or have our friend over at 5am but i'm not that selfish. i'm not soo self centered that i would turn away our friend at 5am when he's upset. it's not the right thing to do, so of course i invited him in. but he had no desire to listen to any of my problems. i couldnt talk to him about any of my plans or desires. the next day i asked our friend to come over so i could grab and he did but he had hit his car in a parking lot and wanted zip ties to secure something. i tried to help but he was downstairs and didnt want to get up and find zip ties for our friend. so our friend took it upon himself to go downstairs himself where he was promptly yelled at for bothering him. today our friend called me five times from 8am and when i finally answered he just wanted to chat about how he wasnt mad anymore and wanted to be a limo driver and other such nonsense. i thought about how many times the calls interrupted my day, created anxiety for me, made me think i was being a shitty friend for not answering. even once i did answer he called back later when i was trying to sleep! i sent a simple text to him saying our friend was no longer mad and wanted to be a limo driver now. this was more just commentary on something that happened in my day. at the end of the day i recieve a long message telling me how he doesnt need to be reminded of this annoyance and is trying to distance himself from other ppls bullshit and if im not getting in the middle of it then why am i saying anything. i felt caught off guard - mostly because i didnt do anything. all i did was comment on something in my own day and now he was triggered to the point of attempting to take it out on me. i told him it was a joke and meant to be a joke and i had no idea he was still annoyed and that he should speak up so i dont invite people to his house because i dont care whether or not hes friends with anyone, quite frankly. but dont trap me into scenarios which cause drama and upheaval because i made a single comment about someone and you failed to mention that you dont even like this person. then he replies that its "his fault" and he just doesnt want to deal with it because it "already ruined fishing, it ruined his afternoon and now its ruining his dinner". i simply replied, "cool, same here". because he never takes into account how much something may be "ruined" by his behavior and attitude. what about me? what about the fact that i asked to stop "dealing with our friend's bullshit" in february when he made inappropriate remarks to me? or the fact he was willing to give drugs to him - on several occasions - despite knowing that im really not down with it at all? but we've continued, for four more months, until the breaking point became him being late for fishing. please. this has continually ruined my general life experience for the past year. the two main people in my life are two of the shittiest people to be considered "main" people in my life. a schizoid drug dealer whom i met through a girl i can no longer even consider a friend because she is equally as crazy and a guy who is best known for being the catalyst of his best friend committing suicide because he fucked his best friends girlfriend. this is a terrible landscape of my life right now and literally all i can do is continually displace myself from THEIR bullshit because the amount of inconvinience they place on to my life far outweighs whatever inconvinience they feel from each other or from me. the thing is though - i dont "trust" my gut fully. i'm actualy more inclined not to trust my gut but my gut is continually right about a logical outlook on someone or their behavior and what that could define in their morality and ways of thinking and acting towards people. my gut told me my first boyfriend was kind of an asshole and that we didnt truly have much in common and that i was filling a role he wanted me to. i knew this, but i continued for many years. my gut told me my abusive ex was an absolute piece of shit but i stayed with him out of pure desperation because i honestly thought it would be better than this and honestly it is not. my gut tells me my current relationship is a real relationship but neither of us are capable of having a real relationship based on our own personal issues and demons and lack of emotional maturity. it's like equal contributions to why it doesnt work at a level we both want it to. we both want to have a mature adult relationship. we both understand to a degree how mature adult relationships work. we are not in any capacity mature adults. we are overgrown teenagers struggling with basic life skills, possibly on a level that is even more of a struggle than our average peer, trying to pretend that we are in fact adults and capable of managing a relationship. we are not though. ive been in long term relationships and understand that bringing up things like "its my fault" or "your right/wrong" doesnt actually add anything to the relationship. admitting it's "your fault" doesn't do much; putting into action - "i'm sorry i misinterpretated what you were saying but im definitely not into hanging out with him any time soon" is far better. but its not up to me to "police" how he should speak. it's up to him to decide that this method of communication is a lot more fair for both parties. it allows him the freedom to express what he wants and thinks while respecting that i'm someone with my own brain and individuality. but thats not where we're at. you cant force maturity. you accept this persons level of maturity or you find someone who has passed that level or possibly wait it out? but waiting it out is a fucking gamble and that's the gamble i've decided to take. you know, i'm not entirely prepared for an adult relationship where i literally contribute equally to the relationship as a whole. i'm not ready for that in myself as a person. as an individual, my life would not benefit from a relationship with a partner giving to me equal to what i give - we would both starve and live on the streets and drive each other bat shit crazy and smoke endless amounts of weed. that's a really terrible life. but at the same time an equal partner to him would be someone unstable, someone who plays with monogamy, someone unwilling to pay into the relationship and carrying burdens of past lovers. someone who has a short temper and bad attitude, who is outspoken on their hatred of the world and people around them and brutally honest regarding split second thoughts and emotions they have towards those people. he wouldnt put up with it. honestly. so neither of us are ready to ask for much in a partner because we are not giving much in return. either of us. and thats a hard thing to accept and like.. i think even my doctor might have an askewed opinion on this because he wants to see me as a victim; maybe ive portrayed myself as such but we are not looking at the other side of things. who is this person and why are they in my life? why do they remain to be a significant person in my life by their own volition? they choose this. something in them wants to see me succeed and be healthy and do well and feel loved and cared for. that does not mean they are _responsible_ for my success, healthy or wellbeing. they are semi-responsible for giving love and care because of the definitions of the relationship they created but theyre not responsible for MAKING me FEEL loved and cared for. i have to accept the knowledge that they love me. so yes - why is he not "helping me"? thats what it comes down to. why am i not receiving some kind of "help" from him? but why is he responsible in giving this help? why are the parameters of an assumed healthy relationship by other people who may or may not even be in healthy relationships being put on something private and considerably always one sided as no one accept our mutual friend has seen our relationship grow? it's almost antiquated, but not naive or dumb, to think because hes a man, because he makes money, because he fucks me and loves me, that he should support me. that he should give me a place to live. give me money. offer it to me. why? where the fuck does it say that anywhere? that's not the stipulation upon fucking someone and that's actually a hard thing for people to swallow i think. maybe its a really ultra feminist idea -- just because a man fucks you doesnt mean he owes you anything other than like.. respect of consent. he doesnt even really owe you a ride home. honestly. he doesnt even owe you a drink or dinner. you made an adult decision to give yourself up to this man and he doesnt owe you shit in return. of course, it goes both ways. he buys her a drink - she doesnt owe him anything either. no one owes anyone anything. it's all a matter of your own free will and choice in how you will behave. what kind of person is fucking anyone because they bought them a drink anyways? but thats simplifying - over exaggerating, even. its the guy that asks a girl on a date and spends 150$ on dinner and buys an expensive bottle of wine and takes her to a concert he bought the tickets for; but he doesnt get laid. its now frowned upon - like he struck out on it. like she owed him her body because he decided to spend all this money. but just because youre in a "relationship" -- which is self defined to begin with. like the basic of it is two people who are close and know a lot about each other and spend time with each other and are possibly intimate. thats it. thats all the fuck there is. they owe you nothing in the past present or future. its just two fuckig people spending time together. thats it. how they choose to spend that time is totally up to them and whatever makes them as a couple and as individuals happy. and when you cant find that balance you no longer spend time together and thus no longer have a relationship. i also though, have to break out of this old mind set i've had for years that is a really ignorant mind set brought on by upper middle class people degrading me and my upbringing. but it happened for so long and so often that it's hard not to now believe it and default to this line of thinking. i feel like i've been reprogramming my brain. and i have to or else i remain in limbo - i have anxiety about life and then i feel bad about not working and then i have anxiety about not working and cant work because it's all just a cycle and i've just been made to feel like such a piece of shit, such a subhuman because this is the path ive "chosen". but in a multiple choice scenario where your choices are given to you and you have to select one, your level of free will has been diminished. and thats the scenario you live in when you are in poverty. but i'm too sick to get out of poverty. i feel stupid in some ways for believing this doctor will help me get on disability and receive more money. but i just want to live. i just want to live and be able to survive without this constant anxiety and worry about how to eat let alone how to deal with issues i've been struggling with since my teenage years. so i'm really hopeful, on the inside, because it would be jynxing it to be hopeful on the outside. but i'm tryng to go with it. i'm trying ot believe that he's right and right now i am making myself sick, i am perpetuating the cycle by not trying all these avenues of help. instead of worrying about not working or having money, i'm just trying to be. i'm just trying to know that i am sick and it's not "my fault" and i'm not "a burden". it's "okay" that i'm not working right now. i wouldnt be capable of it if i tried. and those failures because i am sick and unable to succeed just add to the issue. so i am tryng to focus on what works for me. because i am doing "the right thing". i'm doing the few things i can do, what i'm supposed to do - it's atleast given me some results. i have a few projects on the go and one remains to be the most successful thing ive done in the past year of my life and the success i've gotten from it has been something i have consistently worked hard for and has given me a reason to perservere in some very dark moments. i dont think people realize that though. they just see it as this thing i like to do but i see it as one of the very few reasons to wake up and do something. i feel responsible to people i have build a decent relationship with even though i have discovered that everyone is a human being and all have flaws which make them difficult to work with at times. maybe a majority of the time, even, but this is how i created something that has a purpose to me. something that goes beyond financial gain and politics and drugs and death -- something that is just good. it's just nice and good. it's not poisoned - though it has been threatened to be. and it has taught me so many good lessons in life and business. its one of the best things i have done. i want to continue my belief in that and myself. i lost that in the past six months. i lost the confidence that i knew what i was doing but i was allowing other people to do shitty things, to take control, to take advantage when they didn't care. and it was okay they didnt care. but i cared. and now that ive shown that i cared i am receiving more positive feedback and gaining more respect including from people who did not really enjoy me before as a person. i believe the best steps i can take right now is to focus first and foremost on my health and mental well being; which is accepting that my mental health directly affects my physical health and thus i am not a bad person for being tired and feeling sick even if i'm physically active and eating healthy. secondly is to secure a foundation in which i can build a stable independent life on regardless of how that is secured - even if it is not viewed as positive in popular opinion, like disability. it doesnt matter because independent means seperate from other people so other peoples opinions dont actually matter in this scenario. even if that means losing close relationships - such as the one with him. if i have true belief that this is what is best for me and i am literally putting it into the action when i want nothing more but to die on a regular basis then it is worth losing a relationship for if it means i'm going to live until next year. if it means i have a personal reason to live until next year. third is to allow myself to follow my ideas through and promote a healthy work ethic in myself that will build towards better socializing and potential revenue streams. it does not matter right now that its not making money. i am not bill gates over here. i'm not trying to reinvent the wheel. i'm just trying to do me. it's not about how this "directly affects my life" because i "dont have money". i am not capable of earning money through normal ways and cleaning apartments is not sustainable or worthy of investing my time in when it doesnt benefit me in any way but a brief 50$ spent on weed to nurture myself from the experience. quick-cash scenarios are feeding the cycle, even if it seems beneficial short term. some of my ideas are artistic, some are more administrative with real potential to make money without relying on 20$ jewelry sales. i really want to elevate what i'm doing in all areas of my life because that level of attention to detail is what makes me feel good about myself. looking at what ive created and seeing it as aesthetically pleasing and professionally sound to my eye and recieving positive feedback for it makes me feel good about myself. and i deserve to feel good about myself and i'm not self absorbed; the things i do are very charitable and serve my community and peers as well as allow me to explore my thoughts and ideas creatively. it is very easy to feed into the very quick dim witted insults that i get about this though. "sure, i wish IIII could just sit at home and play on the computer getting diability but i have to work" -- at first response, we've both forgotten why i'm even sitting at home to begin with; why it's hard for me, why i would be getting disability. all that's seen is someone "sitting at home". they do not see the sickness. they do not experience the life i've lived. i've been contnually slashed at by almost everyone i've ever known and just gotten up like "okay, it's cool, i got this" and acted like everything was fine but i'm bleeding out and have been bleeding out for a long time. you just cannot fix this overnight. and it's only now even as i write this that i realize i havent even focused on myself like this in years. literally years. i've actually felt very surreal lately because this shift in focus like i dont know anything of whats happening becuse i dont know myself and this is new to me. i feel disconnected. but ive spent a long time analyzing other people. and their actions towards me. and how ive felt about their actions towards me. and how their actions affected my life afterwards. very rarely have i ever analyzed just myself. my own actions, my own desires, my own beliefs which have little to no influence from outside sources. my combining life experiences to form the opinions which make up who i am; not who i'm told i am by my parents or my boyfriend. just me. and for a very long time i would say or think that whatever i thought about things, whatever my opinions or beliefs were, they werent that important. they werent as important as what everyone else thought because i wanted to be seen as a good person because good people experience a positive life. i want to have a positive life. i didnt want to be around drugs or drunks or stupid people. i wanted to join groups and do good things and be altruistic. i wanted and maybe still want to in some ways, serve people. because everyone else is more important than i am. its taken me a very long time - like a stubbornly long time that is actually exactly how long it would take me because thats exactly who the fuck i am - to admit that not all people are good. like even if 50% were good, even if 70% were good, there are billions of people on this planet so 30% would still be a fucking shit load of people that more than likely are walking past you on the street. they gotta live somewhere. you cant pretend like absolutely none of the bad people that clearly exist in the world dont exist around you. and unfortunately, and i'm still really stubborn on this, i think the number is higher in terms of bad people. i see a lot of bad people on a regular basis. not even associated with me. just out in the world, people doing shitty things to other people. so i think i could almost safely say atleast half of the worlds population are probably assholes. so to live in the belief that you are not important perpetuates a serious amount of trauma and abuse by the sheer number of assholes who exist on this planet. you actually need to be much better prepared in order to really sift through who is an asshole and who is not an asshole. if you think you're a piece of shit then no one is an asshole because whatever anyone does, they're better than you anyways so how could it be "bad". how can you "complain". it's not downgrading the trauma thats experienced - for example, my abusive ex, but knowing i wasnt important allowed me to stay in the relationship. i perpetuated the abuse by staying and accepting i wasnt important. when i left, it stopped. and even if i think i'm not important, at 27 years in, i really also don't like trauma and abuse. i do not like those feelings even if feeling important is not "important". but in order to stop trauma and abuse, the number one thing that must change is not feeling or believing me or my thoughts or emotions are important. what i regularly would deem as selfish is self-sufficient. it's survival. my stubbornness in believing the world is good is causing me serious harm. people are not all good, they do not all have good hearts but it's okay because some are good. all of them are human beings with flaws, but some are good human beings with flaws. so the fourth most important thing right now is breaking and creating connections with the "right" people. i am tired of drug users. i have been tired of drug users since i was sixteen and i am still tired of them now. i have never known a good drug user. i have never wanted to remain friends with one. i have never become a regular drug user. i am constantly embarassed and ashamed of the times i spent on drugs. it's okay to be alone if it means not spending time with people you're not going to do anything with anyways and you don't feel a good connection with. i want to be heard. right now, i'm not being heard. i believe thats a serious flaw in my closest relationship but i believe the voices in his head are screaming so loud, even when he's trying to listen, he can't hear anything past his own bullshit. it's not for lack of trying. i would love for him to be finished being friends with our mutual friend. ive not wanted to be friends for sometime but he didnt particularly care. even though i respect the time ive had with our mutual friend and the help hes given me and the time hes spent with me when ive been feeling down - he has never been helpful. he has also only ever fed me weed and even harder drugs when i have been particularly down. he has hindered my recovery many times and triggered issues. the only reason he is in my life is so i can buy weed easily. and that in itself might be causing an issue in my life. the other week he handed me this book, "i'm okay - you're okay". he told me it was basically what i try to say to him; not the contents, just the title. and i guess that sums it up -- what i'm doing is "okay" and what he is doing is "okay". it hurts, yeah. because i'm a human being with flaws and emotions and my own issues and other people - many other people, not just him - will trigger these issues. a lady at the hospital coldly said, "to me, it might be nothing, to you, it might be everything". but it's true -- this might be nothing to someone else. ive occassionally thought successful marriages have docile women who have accepted that men can be ignorant and aggressive people by nature. everyone seems to have a story of an overzealous over the top angry man - even if they were just angry and no one was harmed. but to me, it's everything. to me, it triggers immediate fear and a response of crying and wanting to run away beause something bad is going to happen. it's not just being yelled at - something bad will happen. when he screamed at me on the weekend, things shifted. i could feel a level of embarassment; it wasn't like he was really trying to prove something. he knew it was a disgusting display, immature and extremely unhelpful for my particular situation. he wanted to quickly sweep it aside - just as he did again today when he realized i wasnt actually trying to start "something".

0 notes

kyandice · 8 years ago

Text

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well) Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it

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