#just like stab me with a knife i think
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😀 doing super well obviously
#just kill me really#just like stab me with a knife i think#i love them so much theyre my favorite doomed yaoi#ugh s2 really killed me#i think i might make merch#theyre so awful these men#arcane#arcane fanart#viktor#jayce#jayvik#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#my art
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just saw dune part 2 and y'all know the fight between paul and feyd right? yeah, they were fucking
#always love a homoerotic knife fight me#with even more homoerotic stabbing#as that scene ended i was like i think we've just seen them fuck#dune part two#dune part 2#dune spoilers#paul atreides#feyd rautha harkonnen#paul x feyd
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oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,
#haven’t been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#it’s just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here that’s not a question they’ve got much stronger magic they#know how the library works they’re directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them#for everything.#but also#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own#emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will#want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallas’s issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend#on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallas’s ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part#of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someone’s hand and#then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going ‘HEY STAB HERE’#so in their mind by doing this they’re giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very#little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that they’re standing on much more equal ground then they really are#and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is she’s finally found the balance in their#relationship she’s finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallas’s dependence#on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallas’s terms is the thing#whether they’re aware of that or not. agnes wouldn’t have anything if pallas didn’t actively choose to be vulnerable with her there’d be#no way she’d learn about anything no way she’d get to play this role in their life#they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and they’re#literally all each other have#grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING#EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes
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killing eve // wishbone; crush - richard siken // letters to milena - franz kafka // a primer for the small weird loves; crush - richard siken
#me making killing eve content instead? it's more likely than you think#anyway this actually started out as a comparative piece between hannibal + killing eve + like minds#with the scenes where hannibal stabs will for the knife quote and alex holding nigel's body at the trainyard#for the 'you take the things you love' quote#the holy trinity of fucked up murder couples (to me. sorry louis and lestat i know you're missing from here)#BUT i absolutely could not get it to work out so i went with just ke instead#the S2 ending parallels with the S3 bridge scene will always occupy a part of my brain and THAT is the thing i could rant about for 30 mins#also not to keep talking about like minds on this post but the fact that in both the ke scenes here and that film#both couples try to kill one another after facing rejection immediately preceded by their partner killing for the first time#like the unintentional parallels between these pieces of media is insane#killing eve#villaneve#eve polastri#villanelle#oksana astankova#eve x villanelle#web weaving#quotes
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Obsessed with these tags OP omg
First of all, how dare you stab me in the heart with that comparison to Jesse. I can absolutely see it. Now I want to know how Jesse would come into play in all this- Cod I love Spiritshipping they were meant for each other <3
Second, I know I already requested Yuya and Jaden interactions (and oh boy did you deliver), but now you have me intrigued. Like it doesn't even have to be the groupchat AU, I'm just genuinely curious now how you think Jaden would interact with all four of the Yu Boys. I am giving you an excuse to write Jaden and Yuri interacting also because to be completely honest I love Yuya to bits and pieces but Yuri has always been my favorite of the four. <3 "Yuri is the violence" Dear cod I want to see the two of them tear into someone. I have no idea who exactly but they would be terrifying. Give them an audience perchance. Maybe the rest of the protags. (I live for reactions) I'm living for this.
Jaden meets them and it's like witnessing all the parts of himself he keeps tucked to his chest exposed for everyone to see. He sees Yuto and wants to wrap him in a hug and tell him nothing was his fault. (He's a hypocrite, he knows he (Jaden) deserved everything he got. He didn't, he really didn't) He sees Yuya and sees the mask he's put up for so long, sees his attitude of "maybe if I ignore this then it'll all go away" and wonders if his own mask ever looked this close to cracking. He sees Yugo and wants to scream and tear his hair out because when did he lose that part of himself? When did the mask truly become a mask, when did he lose that spark that made life seem actually worth living? (He knows damn well when he lost it.) He sees Yuri and sees a world where he gave in completely to the madness, where he found comfort in the pain because it was the one time he truly felt like he was in control. He wonders what it cost him, if it cost anything at all. He wonders what friends he sacrificed to get where he is now, and if it was worth it. He looks into his eyes and thinks maybe it was. He wonders if maybe their worlds aren't as dissimilar as he first thought. (That thought alone might scare him more than anything.)
It's late and I'm not very good with words (at the moment at least) But you have got me HOOKED and you are currently my only source for this dynamic, I will be plaguing your ask box for a good week at least, I hope you know this- (Feel free to tell me to chill out at any time btw, I just saw your blog description and took that as a personal challenge sdfghj /lh)
Much love <3
*hands you back your worksheet and it looks like this*
*hands you stickers hands you a candy from the candy bowl, never worry about blowing up my inbox, I love hearing from people, hands you a tangerine*
Bestie you are doing such a good job thank you for the kind words, also your mind. I hadn't realized the potential for Yugo + Jaden interactions until you started messaging, now I am rocked by the implications. Now I have to write the yu-bois into the gc au. Can't promise I'll publish anything anytime soon, but I'm always excited to talk about these funny card game guys.
Yuri and Jaden the reformed supervillain and the still-thinks-he-has-to-be-the-evil-brother. Jaden is trying to nudge the guy in the right direction but totally worried because he is only barely older than him and still kinda a mess, meanwhile Yuri would gladly sell Jaden for one corn chip but also belligerently hangs out with him because he kinda is one of the best fusion duelists in the world, maybe he can learn some things. Yuri is like "Let's rob this 7/11! >:3" and Jaden is like "Oooh! There's a deal on slushies!"
Reformed murder hobo in the body of a college student tries to reform child murder hobo: seven injured, Yugo's on the roof, more on this story at 11.
#I made my blog description that specifically so people COULD feel like they can prompt me to go on long rambles#Yuri without any overarching authority just turns into every beginners dnd partys rogue#he pulls a knife on Jaden and Jadens like 'youre gonna have to try a lot harder than that buddy'#Jaden is best friends with Chazz you think a little threat of bodily violence will faze him?#Also he stopped being fully human like. two monstrous transformations ago#Yuya: Jaden please stop laughing when my brother tries to stab you we're trying to teach him out of that habit#yugioh#yugioh gx#jaden yuki#ygo gx#yuki judai#yugioh arc v#ygo arc v#yuri arc v
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I was thinking about this scene recently and
Okay, one, the fact that Joel took a steak from Bill and Frank's is just funny. Like did he go into the freezer? Did he find a steak in there and be like, "Yoink."
Ellie was grabbing toilet paper while he got himself coffee and a steak XD
Two, boy that got a lot smaller when it got on his plate. How much of it did he give Ellie?
Three (also her face is really cute here), look at how full her plate is. She scarfs her food. She's already put away a decent amount here, probably. Legitimately how more food did he give her versus himself?
#my headcanon is 100% always that he gives her extra food and thinks she doesn't realize#i also saw this tiktok once from this girl like talking about how she hates cutting steak so she always got her dad to do it#and i think that's cute and now i have the headcanon that ellie doesn't know how to cut food up in like#any sort of even vaguely polite way#like she just rips pieces off#and it deeply pains joel#also like joel never gives her a dinner knife?#in both meals we see her eat she only uses a fork#and i think the idea of that is just so funny#“you tried to stab me once. no steak knives for you”#the last of us#tlou hbo#ellie williams#joel miller#your honour i love them#food tw
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horror fascinates me. I feel a deep kinship with it. But when i try to draw it i draw a blank. i realize I don't exactly know what constitutes as "horror" in design elements because i personally don't find most horror very disturbing i just think it's neat. But it makes identifying the aspects of what makes it the way it sooo hard and as an artist i struggle in making things that feel like it fits the category. I know it has something to do with "Unsettling" but what the fuck counts as unsettling??? I just have uhh..... Not much disturbs me outside of needles and eye trauma so that's the only thing I absolutely KNOW for sure what's disturbing about it. Everything else? It feels like trying to know what you look like without a mirror
#shosh#i'm trying to do vent srt that has horror aspects and i just pull a blank what even is horror really#i don't actually know#i feel like i can visualize what makes me actually squeamish very wel but for just regular body horror and eldritch horror and what not#i have NO CLUE how to visualize it creatively#like junji ito and psychological horror fascinates me#like how can you just visualize something that others would universally find disturbing o think it's so hard to me#physical harm horror isn't so hard liek okay just draw someone getting stabbed with a knife or draw a skull and a rib cage and rotten muscle#but other things? it's hard to me and i don't know why
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He's not in the royal au at all, but Aya posted the doppelganger and made me think of him. And my gosh who is going to feed Balmoral if I don't?
#{Mhoirbheinn#:outofcash#no one should want him in the au anyways#he'd just be rude to everyone and run the risk of stabbing people he probably shouldn't#Charidynn gives him One look and he's contemplating if it'd cause more problems then it'd solve to reach for his knife#scopohobia tw#{N.s.f.w#ish#also between Zhaohui and this can you tell I have a fondness for G.earous' art haha#also this makes me think of........one time somewhere where I asked if Bal found JJ hot like he does Mhoirbheinn
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how to i tell my fellow insect lover friends that the reason i get sometimes scared about bugs getting near me is not bc I hate them but bc of mental illness reasons without them telling me "you'll be fiiiiiiine" and forcing me to get a near a centiped
#my brain is telling me this lil thing will go in my nose and ears and mouth can you not#the wasp got under the table ? okay now it's gonna get into my pants.#“oh no but it won't dw” I KNOW IT WON'T BUT THE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. ARE VIVID. SO SHUT UP AND GET THIS LIL GUY OUT OF MY REACH#nano.txt#it's the same reason i don't like holding a knife or a sharp tool ! Brain wants me to stab my eyes#i had to say it out loud to a friend once bc she saw me grimacing with i was holding cutting pliers to the cash register#she was like “u okay” and i just said “no my brain told me to cut off my fingers and showed how” with a straight but pained face bc ew#girly was like 😦😦😦 dont?? which i understand but i think she realised why i push back a lot of things lol#i might say that to my mom one day maybe she'll understand instead of forcing me
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very funny how when obi wan tells padme that anakin killed the younglings shes like ‘not anakin! he couldnt!’ girl did u forget about when he told you about the tusken raiders who killed his mom and how he killed ‘not just the men but the women and children too’ or
and also how most of the fandom and just regular people watching also tend to forget that he actually had a previous history of killing children
#theres something to be said about how the movies dont really treat the tusken raiders as people#i heavily side eye george lucas in this#especially when he based them of an actual real life culture (bedouins)#this isnt a dig on padme i think her characterization is a lot more compelling#if you consider that while shes intelligent in politics#she also falls for the wrong guy 🤷🏼♀️#she was in denial here tbh she knew he could. she didnt wanna believe he did AGAIN#jordan talks#i WISH they had kept the scene of her trying to stab him tho. ughh#especially if she couldnt go through with it ………. would have been insane .#not sure it made it past the concept stage but#like i think if she came w obi wan w a knife . and was like just in case ge doesnt listej#and he doesnt and she thinks about it but cant#but he SEES the knife#would have added extra drama to ‘you turned her against me’
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Is it a hot take to say re7 is the scariest resident evil game …
#I genuinely have no idea what people think the scariest rezi game is?#if I had rezi followers I’d do a poll but I’m so deathly curious#re7 and 8 are the most .. hm#controversial maybe? minus the re3make#because of the swap to first person but that was the point#the perspective swap was to make ‘em scarier and I think they did a good job#re7 at least#I don’t rhink re8 is very scary sorry😭#re7 just has a better premise#all the Mia cutscenes are fuckin. crazy. to me at least bc one of my biggest fears is getting stabbed with a huge kitchen knife like that#plus the baker house setting is purrfect imo#re8 is very much fairy tail vibes. not too spooky#the vampires aren’t scary theyre hot idk what you want from me. it was hot when ethan got his hand cut off by lady d ok.#I’m not scared of dolls or that ugly ass fish man neither so#not factories neither#just yeah. fairy tail. not scary#tbf I’m not scared of bugs so the whole bug part of re7 admittedly does nothing for me#which is a shame because it’s AMAZING#but no yeah re7 is so good and so so fucking scary LMFAO#god I need to peer pressure some of my friends into getting into the rezi series I need to be insane w someone abt it#unfortunately it’s a little hard to get into admittedly but once you’re in you’re IN
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...
#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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planned to fall asleep well before 4am this nite & then of course SOMEHOW I end up with the worst gas pain I've had in several years & a triggered vagus nerve!! Unfair!!! I can only hope my exhaustion puts me RIGHT to sleep.
#i'm looking through potential triggers since this happens only once in a blue moon for me &#the only possible ones would either be emotional stress or NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP...I'M *TRYING*#i'm back in bed now & feel Better if still awful but god.#no feeling like sitting on toilet having nearly fainted & weak & sweaty. shirt thrown on the ground thinking 'this is just like Edmund II'#it is nothing like Edmund II nobody was stabbing me in the ass. it DOES feel like there is a knife in my guts tho#okay Tummy Disease Posting no more!!#however a disclaimer that i have a dr appointment soon & will b bringing this up like a responsible adult jic#dial p for post
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he texted me again 🥲 he hits me iup periodically but its like the dick is great ngl but i dont know that i can muscle thru sleeping in his bed/room/apartment again.... like last times i slept over i slept like shit dry mouth felt like i had a fever, btwn freezing and sweltering, could smell him On my skin (idk not rly intitiated in2 the musk gothic), etc etc. & not clear his intentions but i just hope its fine.? debating msging him back lol.
#+ he wants to make me dinner and im like i only had drinks w you once been 2x and we mostly didnt speak just fucked. like whats goin on...#tho i think i deserve to be a little gay and a little messy and he doesnt make me feel as! fetishized even tho his books r a bit uhh..#the first night over in the dark i saw this knife obv used for his dab rig but in the middle of the night iw as laying there like#i hope he doesnt stab me actually for real ... <3 and he didnt! these situations still leave me fearing my death a bit..#words
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eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.
#little rock.txt#venting#self harm in tags btw#anyway. wow i hate intrusive thoughts.#like great guys. it's so cool that the way we're deciding to spend our time is constantly thinking about ways to hurt myself#oh wow stabbing myself with a knife someone left on the counter? so original. never been seen before#oh starving myself?? even when my lovely friend made us a whole dinner?? that's lovely. wow. not even a little bit rude#standing in traffic until someone comes and hits me? at least that wouldn't damage my fucking car like your other ideas!#taking something sharp to my sunburns for a two-birds-one-stone thing?? i guess you're making the best of the circumstances#like jesus fucking christ Grow Up. am i fifteen goddamn years old again#like if we're being So real the consequences of actually self-harming Far outweigh the benefits so i'm not at any real risk#(i do Not want to deal with the fallout of 1. cleaning those wounds 2. confronting my housemates with active self-harm#they actively do not deserve that happening to them)#(hi guys btw sorry. i'm fine)#but that just means i'm sitting here like. so are you gonna be productive or....?#like i had plans of what i wanted to do with my brain power tonight. was gonna write. maybe clip a stream. and we're...?#oh just sitting on my laptop playing music too loud bcus if i could hear my own thoughts it'd be a nightmare? neat.#jesus christ can i be a normal goddamn person for like fifteen minutes and get out of this anxiety spiral. it's been over 24 hours.#whatever. like at this point it's fucking whatever. if i can't drag myself into being productive i'm just gonna go to bed.#“opal is being mean to yourself really going to help” i don't know. i doubt it. unfortunately i am in the mood to be a bitch#and the only person who deserves to deal with bitchy opal is me. so.#anyway if you read all of this uuuhhh sorry. i am like this. but hey. thank you for caring
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Its doing terrible things to my mental health to have my parents be so violently homophobic and transphobic nearly every day
#.txt#help i think im going crazy#im so depressed at home bc my parents r jist actually so homophobic its insane#its doing unspeakable things to my brain#im just holding out till grad school fr thats the only thing keeping me going#plus my friends obvi#but my god#it feels like a stab to the chest whenever they start going on their rants its actually hurts my heart so much#the longer they talk the more they twist the knife#it bums me out so bad
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