#just like seeing my team win

[artonice]

Am I delulu?

Anyways... seriously y'all. I started publicly sharing B/V stuff in March. I'm just a girly from Boston who is obsessed with ice dance and the athletic, emotional moments it creates. I also enjoy its connection to art. Their 2023 FD reminds me so much of the above painting. I like to post comparisons and Kiki with the girls. Ice dance slays so hard bc I've never seen anything like it before! I really earnestly just enjoy all of the mechanics.

The dedication, the performance. Y'all caught me vicariously living, babes! We all wish we could've been something like a ballerina or an ice skater. Seeing Bella skate, inspires me to do the things that little me dreamed of. Still! Which I enjoy just as equally. Because everyone seems so grumpy all the time and I love having something to cheer for and believe in. I've competed for 2 bike races since following Bella. Because I'm rooting for someone who does cool stuff and think, wait I can do cool stuff too. And the duo for sure inspires me to paint and write and listen to good music and all that other important stuff. Like a good tv show or my favorite book would.

But this is my crutch, y'all. These are very real people. Celebrity and influencer culture makes us depersonalize the figures sharing their lives. I can def see how I get lost in the delulu of their skating story, and Bella's underdog lore (which is mainly why I'm here y'all). I know it's still a risk that skaters can see this post, but I just wanna yap to no one about how weird the modern world is. And I think Tumblr is probably the most private place out of all socials to yap anyways.

So, my point. I feel weird! I feel so weird making edits and talking about how inspired I am by these strangers, especially when the inspiring strangers can see😭. Bella follows my insta account (as well as a bunch of others) bc she's a cool and connective girl broooo like Bella pls don't unfollow girly I'm just saying I don't wanna freak anyone out 😭🫶. Cause I couldn't imagine all these people being so focused on my life and what I do, it might stress me out bad yall.

I know I'm delulu, but more so I'm sensitive. That's why I like this sport. And I like to chit chat!!! Combined with this hyper digital, often fantasy focused world we live in (movies, tv, sports, books) I don't want to be confused with some crazy person who can't decipher boundaries bc I run an active stan account. And no hate to my fellow Stan accounts, this scenario feels unique bc ice skating fan accounts have audiences that often include people in the skater's communities or families, if not the skater themselves. It's not like I'm posting about Taylor Swift who won't see it. Girl, my T-swift is 5'ft tall and can jump 6ft high in the air. Her Eras Tour starts in Lake Placid this July😭. And you bet your ass I need to talk about it!

But I also gotta remind myself that this isn't my favorite TV show but people's real lives. Like fr. Sometimes the competition is so good you'd think it was scripted, y'all. God, like let me keep yapping forever huh?

Anyways, I am so glad I get to connect with my favorite athlete, as I'm sure her other fans appreciate it too. She's honest and open to chat for a reason, it keeps us feeling like we are on the road to the Olympics with her. I'm gunna keep posting cause I love the idea of turning all of booktok on her lore and getting a million people to root for them so I can see them at freaking SKAM 🤨. The conversation between influencer and audience is just hella interesting. And I hope I'm towing the line okay!

[heartorbit]

catch us if you can! ☆

[s0fter-sin]

ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it

he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this

he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up

soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone

(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)

soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight

the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes

it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)

it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that

“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close

ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship

hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself

soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming

instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started

and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips

[vanlegion]

[ribbononline]

Still trying to finish other things but in the meantime- updated design for my older May! She's an Ace Trainer

[chirpsythismorning]

The way fans on the st sub are almost all in agreement Nancy ending up with neither Jon nor Steve wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, and how they can even come up with a sleuth of reasons as to why, honestly pretty valid and fair reasons, but then are absolutely gobsmacked when fans merely speculate something along those lines for El is, quite something.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before lunch why not' and gets mvp more at 1

[mcytegg]

ALSOOOOOO on top of planet logging in today, apparently ro has been working on a video ever since flame very first blew up spawn, a video not even the sticklers knew abt according to zam and planet :O

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

James Vowles, you will not see heaven

[navree]

okay, i don't mean to bring up drama (i really don't want to 😓😓😓) but since you're one of the few non-crazy hotd-adjacent blogs i follow, i gotta ask...where did the whole #teamfeminism thing come from?

You're too sweet, thank you <3

It's basically what I call Team Black fans, because their whole justification for feeling morally superior is that they support Rhaenyra, the female claimant in the Dance. And yes, Rhaenyra's usurpation is steeped in misogyny, it is predicated on that favoritism towards male-dominated primogeniture in Westeros and the disbelief in the ability of a woman to rule at all, let alone her specifically, that's undeniable and a big part of the story as a whole and her arc specifically in the show. But it's hard for me to view fans supporting Rhaenyra for fictional queen as an inherently feminist act when that apparently also means absolutely no appreciation for any other female characters (they despise Alicent for having the audacity to be a forced child bride, and they clearly don't care about Laena at all) and uncritical support for Daemon the Rogue Literal Pedophile. And it's certainly not very Feminist to take your issues with fictional characters and start harassing actual real women, calling Olivia horrible names not just in general but also to her face, making fun of Phia Saban's looks under the guise of mocking Helaena (another female character they dislike because she's not Rhaenyra), being so nasty about the child actress playing Jaehaera that she had to be recast when her mom pulled her from production, saying vile shit about Sara Hess because you don't approve of her creative decisions, saying that Olivia was having an affair with Ryan Condal to get Alicent more screentime, and in general being incredibly nasty towards female Team Green/Alicent fans (and my personal favorite, implying that queer fans of Olivia Cooke aren't actually queer and just being performative, because what's more feminist than denying women's sexualities just to seem cool on Twitter dot com?). Like, pardon me but your feminism isn't really feminism, it's a performative activism where you claim that, because you support one female fictional character's claim to a fictional throne, you're a feminist and then proceed to be incredibly anti-feminist and misogynistic in your actual actions in your actual life against actual women.

So it's mostly just an irony/mockery thing from me, given that members of Team Feminism seem to be the most anti-feminist and in general anti-woman people in this entire family, except for when they decide they want Rhaenyra to win and say they like two character traits of her's (cuz it's not like they see Rhaenyra as a full character either, but shrug dot emoji).

[ozcarma]

Does anyone else feel like the incinerator gun chair room from Zero Time Dilemma would have better fit C Team instead of D Team

[6ebe]

NOOOOO 💀💀💀

[3416]

can I ask why you don’t like domi? a lot of leafsblr really like him and I was wondering if he did something? to put down a guy on “your team” that much must have something behind it

i didn't like him before he was a leaf and i don't subscribe to the idea that you have to support everyone just because they're "on your team"... especially in a sport like this where the makeup of most of the team changes a LOT every couple years. it's not like domi is crucial to the identity of this team in any way, lol. he's been here for 5 seconds.

i try not to dig too much into these guys past quotes and shit like that because obviously in the nhl, there are a lot of unpleasant realities below the surface but. i can't help the stuff i've seen about him liking trump and parroting racist and xenophobic quotes about watching 'who we let into our countries' like... it's colored my perception of him before this year, and it's not changing just bc he's good buds with the known anti-vaxxer on the team now like 😭 he gives me the ick and will continue to no matter how much new fans latch on to any guy that's a leaf and wanna post about him. everyone's threshold for that stuff is different, but he's not rlly done anything to endear me to him on a personal level.

[chiarrara]

at this point I don't see a path for Chelsie to get voted out. If Leah/Angela wins DE HOH, no matter the combination on the block 2-3 votes will always go against whomever is against Chelsie.

The only way Leah/Angela could get Chelsie out in the Double is if they flip Kimo and Rubina over the next two days and I don't think either of them has the social capital to do that.

Something big would have to shift or else Chelsie's path to the final 5 is laid out unobstructed for her and it only gets harder from there.

[clumsyclifford]

thanks for tagging me @4thbrighteststar

rules: shuffle your On Repeat and let people pick their favorite from the first five songs!

here goes fingers crossed y'all get normal songs

lemme tag @igarbagecannoteven @allsassnoclass @kaleidoscopeminds @burstingsunrise anddd @daydadahlias

(commentary on each song under the cut)

wish you were sober: i had a moment with this song several years after everyone else did

chemicals: had a moment with this ALBUM.

stuttering: god okay i don't know WHY this is still on my on repeat except for, i assume, that every time it plays when i listen to my on repeat it self-reinforces its position. i WAS listening to it, and them, a lot, back when i saw them live earlier this year, no shame, but its time is frankly up

kissinginacarcrash: surprised to find this on here! i'm studying for a telltale concert im going to with my friend. this is one of their better songs imo

bet on it: ...i was afraid this would happen. my sister and i jammed out to all three hsm soundtracks on a long drive earlier this week. there is nothing like belting out bet on it and scream in a car with your sister. so then i kept listening to those two songs. scream is also in fact on this playlist right now.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.