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#just like how bad art is still made by an artist. just a very bad one
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After almost five years I decided to rewatch Voltron.
1. Because it’s getting booted off of Netflix
2. I wanted to do more of critical analysis of it now that it’s been so long since I watched it . Does it hold up? Do I view the characters the same as I used to? Trying to separate that fanon from canon.
3.I also wanted to see how plausible was Klance and was I being delulu all those years ago? Like I know of the art done by story board artist and stuff but just by the show itself, do them being together romantically make sense?
This is my season 1 analysis because doing it by season makes the most sense.
So season 1 was still pretty solid. The pacing was very quick and it was hard to digest what was going on cause it just was rapid shot of information. I think the biggest offender of this was the first episode which just everything was moving so quick. I feel that could have been a longer episode and it would have helped the flow of the first season a lot. Like they are on Earth for like 15 mins, and within that 15 minutes we are introduced to most of the main cast, already introduced to the first piece of Voltron, then boom space. Bring back 24 episode seasons especially if most episodes are 20 mins.
The main cast quickly got over being in space and you know having to pilot a huge mech pretty quickly which like if that was me I would be freaking out for awhile. Like it was maybe a minute and then everything was chill. Again everything was just quick pacing wise.
I still really like the fight scenes both with the mech and on foot. The animation pops off and it’s a fun watch. The humor for the most part was fine, like I didn’t think it was outstanding but I’m also not in the target demographic anymore. Like the simple joke about the sounds of a blaster was funny and it made me laugh. But there is jokes where I’m just like oh….. but they quickly move on from it so it doesn’t bother me as much. For Lance being the supposed comedic character I thought Hunk was funnier because Lance is not funny he’s mean.
With that Lance is just plain mean to Keith, when Keith has done jack shit to him. Keith will only retaliate after Lance says something to him. There was about one time Keith started it but who can blame him when Lance is constantly being a bitch. Which meanness comes with insecurity and it’s obvious he struggles with insecurity even if they haven’t really touched on that yet. Lance also almost dies multiple times this season which i don’t have much to comment on just that he almost gets sucked out of an air lock and Keith has to save him.
The Main Cast:
Shiro: His character arc hasn’t happened yet but the crumbs have been laid. I like him alot. I think how quickly he becomes dedicated to Voltron is believable because of how much he suffered in the Galran prison. Like he doesn’t want what happened to him to happen to anyone else. He’s the most serious out of the bunch but it makes sense since he’s seen what the Galra can do.
Pidge: I don’t much to say about her. When I was I younger I didn’t have much to say about her and I don’t have much to say about her now. Doesn’t mean she’s bad, I don’t really have much a a connection with her. I do really like the story line about finding her family though and I’m excited to rewatch that payoff.
Hunk: Like with Pidge I didn’t have a feeling either way for Hunk when I was younger but where that differs is that I appreciate him alot more now. That mini arc he goes through where he discovers how bad the Galra truly are, was pretty good. Him being the most scared to take risks then being the one urging the rest of the team to save the planet was a change of character but the was obviously the point. Also his relationship with Shay is super cute.
Allura: I adore her. She is serious like Shiro but again she had her whole race wiped out by the Galra, she knows that what they are doing is important. Yeah so she is bit tough on the paladins but she does it with the hopes they’ll be ready to save the universe. She is just a girl and I love that for her. The scene where she has to let go of her father for the final time is really sad because she is not just losing her dad but what seems like the last remnants of her home planet. I also just love her design, the pink is such a pretty color and suits her so well.
Coran: He’s funny, he’s silly. Still adore him, nothing can change that.
Keith: I adore this man. But season one Keith really doesn’t have much going on. Like he’s reckless and stubborn but that’s kinda all we know about him. His name is Keith, he was living in a shack, he’s good a flying and fighting, and he has a close relationship with Shiro but even that is shown for like a second in the first episode. I do know their dynamic is explored more later or which I hope so it’s been so long I don’t remember. I remember him being the more mean one but he’s not, he’s a guy and I love him for that. I also remember him being the super serious one but in reality he’s silly and goofy when he wants to be. He only gets serious when it’s mission time as he should be. I am excited to watch his full character arc but I can’t remember my opinions on it but I remember other people not liking it, so hopefully I do.
Lance: Lance is one of my most favorite characters ever. There comes a time in every man’s life where they must critique the things they love and now it’s mine. There isn’t much going on with him. He is there to be the funny guy which doesn’t work cause I don’t find him very funny. When his thing is to be funny it comes off as being mean makes it very hard to like him. I grimaced a couple times for what came out of that man’s mouth. I know he has a character arc but omg it’s so hard to like him at all season 1 for a character that’s supposed to be likable. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t moments where I saw the man I used to know but season 1 Lance very unbearable for the most part. I think I gasped audibly when he was like I miss Varadero Beach, cause I didn’t remember if the show itself said he was Cuba, I just assumed it was someone who worked on the show did. So I was like oh I’m dumb, it’s literally in the show.
Klance: For two characters that don’t have much going on this season, their dynamic is so odd. Like half their screen time is bickering, that Lance starts. They’re not rivals because Keith doesn’t view Lance as a rival, so it’s one sided rivalry. Then you think oh they just hate each other, but again Keith doesn’t hate Lance, it’s just Lance being a hater. But with that I can still see why people started to ship them. There were moments I was like wait…like when Lance asks Keith to save him after he gets chained to a tree. Keith response is a bit flirty to me and I was oh..wow. I see why people shipped them but I don’t see how they were thought as endgame, from just watching season 1.
I’m looking forward to season 2 but nervous for the rest of the series because I know the farther you get into the show the worst it gets. I don’t want to watch s7 and s8, there is no need to relive that. We will see when I get there though.
Also the fact it’s getting taken off Netflix is crazy. Like where is it going? Like I know it’s because of the contract with Netflix but I also theorize it might have something to do with the life action. If anyone wants to know where to watch after it does I can link it, cause trust I wanted to make sure I had a way to watch before it was gone for good.
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lokorum · 20 hours
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Your art so surreal, did you take inspiration from African masks it’s amazing. You have probably gotten this question before but what’s your process and how do plan these beautiful pieces out. I am a beginner artist and would like some advice on how start doing digital painting.
thank you for bringing me back from the dead with your kindness, (i was so sad today ughhhh i think watching vampire diaries starting to affect me hjkhjk), i really, really deeply thankful that you spend your time to write something so sweet (also sorry it took me literally ages to reply phphp THE USUAL)
yeah, in buryatia shamanism like the big thing, so when i went to search what's out there in the masks department - google's mess of the results for once was helpful and showed this massive collection of beautiful african masks. the one that was inspo for tiisha lived in my head rent free for weeks before the character was even born phphph now i cant even imagine her without it 
(here is little tiisha for you before i'll proceed to be not helpfull phphphph)
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oof advices are not my strong side , like..........my process mostly is just sleep through the whole thing i guess..........................i very rarely do sketches, i hate study anatomy and perspective, drawing cubes makes me physically sick etc etc my approach to drawing were "fuck around and find out", always about chill and fun and barely ever about learning. imho thats why im so shitty at drawing simple things but not bad at coloring. so yeah, my biggest advice always and forever will be - be gentle to yourself, please
digital or traditional or whatever else is out there, dont forget you make it for yourself and for yourself only okay? it supposed to be fun, not sad tiring and competitive 
advices for digital specifically tho - very objective, apply with caution
learn all the keyboard shortcuts, ideally to press them without thinking 
explore more instruments than just brush. it will be tedious and sometimes feel like a chore so mb pick one victim once a month and browse youtube for a stuff like SECRET ULTIMATE TIPS ABOUT MAGIC WAND TOOL THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE (they indeed will save your life) 
check if your drawing program has artboards - turning it on will give you more freedom over canvas positioning  and your refs will always be there and not in the separate window 
idk about others but using auto tone, auto contrast and auto color often gives me well needed perspective on what im doing 
in 99% cases be sure that you can reanimate even the most messiest artpiece you ever did. working in digital gives you the chance to mess with shapes, colors and perspective at any time so if you dont want to gave up on something - you absolutely didnt have to
from time to time while you are still learning - go out there in the wilds and search for the new brushes. tweak with them if you want. i have like ~500 and i use 6 max, but those 6 i found by at some point trying to draw with all of the 500
MADE. BACK UPS. and i mean not like save layers just in case before merging them (tho that's too will help) no, i mean click SAVE AS once an hour and create A NEW FILE. PLEASE. i lost so much stuff to sudden power outage. its never pretty and you loosing will to work for days
watch at least one tutorial about the whole rgb srgb and cmyk thing - i did, understood not a thing, but at least im not playing dora the explorer with my colors after the export now 
uh idk think thats it? tried to think about those that id hope i knew when i started so hopefully something will help 
have fun with your drawings!! 
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thecoffeelorian · 2 days
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Fandom Friday, 09/27: Fanart
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Hello again, everyone…and welcome to another installment of Fandom Friday, the two-post series where I go off to find new and interesting fanworks that might need a bit more visibility.
Before we begin...I just want to put it out there real fast that my mom should be getting home from surgery either today or tomorrow, and that I'll most likely be doing a bit more around the house because of this, even if it means skipping over further updates for longer than 2 weeks.
Second, if I do continue, I might start doing themes like Oshecki Week and Commander Fox week as far as choosing content goes, but as of this moment, it's more of an idea than an actual concrete thing so far.
Anyways, before I go too far off on a tangent...here are my picks of the week.
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THE HIGH REPUBLIC
The High Republic Fanart--By @magicalplaylist:
THE PREQUELS
The Prequels Fanart--By @cassiepeach:
THE CLONE WARS
The Clone Wars Fanart--By @handless-and-dangerous:
The Clone Wars Fanart--By @carrion-art:
THE BAD BATCH
The Bad Batch Fanart--By @azelind4:
The Bad Batch Fanart--By @keeradaks:
STAR WARS REBELS
Star Wars Rebels Fanart--By @somewhere-on-kamino:
THE MANDALORIAN
The Mandalorian Fanart--By @annettecheshir:
In conclusion, as part of my mission to poke around the Star Wars fandom and, on Friday every two weeks, highlight those artists who might otherwise go unnoticed…I hope you will check out the links I have included for yourselves and like, comment on, and reblog them, as well as also giving the artists a few more followers to their Tumblr pages.
Please also like and reblog this latest installment so that these links can be spread around to as many other fans as possible, just in case not all of them can tune in at the same time.
An additional thank you goes to @djarrex for making the divider I used earlier in this post, but still want to give credit for.
And finally, so that I do not forget…this post will be continued in its second half: the Fanfiction Edition.
Thank you, good afternoon, and I’ll see you in the next post!
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No Pressure Tags: @melymigo @algo-o-nada @theosb0rnway @everybirdfellsilent @skellymom
@leos-multifandom-corner @maggie-dylan @leenabb104104 @gun-roswell @tazmbc1
@bluedeedeedoop @its-time-to-rise-above @tlmtwelve and anybody else who might be on the lookout for new SW fanart.
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jolyneart · 3 days
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This'll be a long-ish post about my The Locked Tomb themed MTG deck and how I made like 20 versions of it before I decided to build it (and how I'm still working on it).
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(I want to do legit art for this card)
If you are part of the Venn diagram of these two interests, or you want to see my slow descent into madness ovear a year of trying to put cardboard together, check the spoilers below.
So, I haven't been playing Magic for too long (a bit over a year). Weirdly I have owned cards since original Ixalan, but I never bothered learning to play until a friend invited me to play commander. I just wanted them for the pretty pictures, I have always admired Magic artists and they have been a huge inspiration on my art career.
Anyways, not too long after I started to play, I got this idea into my head that I should do a Locked Tomb commander deck.
"That'd be fun!" I thought
Well
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All of these are over a year old (and are not my only first attempts, but I'll talk about those later).
I had two main issues when starting to build this deck:
1- I have never been interested into deck-building before in a card game
2- I have no fucking idea of what I'm doing
The first commander I chose to lead this deck, that I still think thematically fits within TLT universe, is Ratadrabik of Urborg
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This Rat of a man has given me so many headaches, I'm sure that now I'd be able to do make a half-decent deck with him in the lead, hell I do have a black/white aristocrats deck that he could command just fine.
But my issue was that I had no idea how to balance his legends theme and zombie kindred theme at the same time, in the same deck. I was just incapable. And all of my results, budget or not, were jank piles that did very little or exploded into an infinite combo with cards like Boromir, Warden of the Tower or Nazgul. It just didn't feel right and the Locked Tomb theme was barely holding on by a thread with the things I was putting in there. There were barely ANY skeletons in any of these! (this will keep happening)
Anyways, after giving up on Ratadrabik (which btw I think would make for a great Ianthe proxy) I moved on to find some other commander and color combination that'd enable something else that wasn't a pile of legendary creatures.
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Queue in Varina, Lich Queen
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It's a Zombie Wizard! She cares about zombies, those are kind of early skeletons! She raises the undead herself!
Well, I do think Varina is great, and in other world where I knew how to build decks back then, she might just have been my Harrow commander deck
I don't even think the decks I made for her were that bad at all, just extremely expensive. And also the zombie theme, while much better supported mechanically, I didn't feel really represented the kind of necromantic powers we see in the books at all.
Shoutout to Mikaeus, he'd make for a great Jod if anyone wants to make a deck about our lord and savior the undying emperor.
Ok, now I'm going to take a bit of a detour to talk about what I actually like playing in mtg (not just commander). I predictably really enjoy playing black and graveyard strategies, but also really love putting big idiot beaters into the field with those strategies .I know, groundbreaking. But it is what it is, two of my favourite decks do this in one way or another.
God's perfect deck, my Sauron deck, was my first precon, that has left the lands of preconstruction long ago and is my dearest possession. Is it my most powerful deck? nope. Is it unbeatable? Not really, I almost never win with this deck.
What BIG Sauron does is, in an extremely thematic way, become a problem for everyone at the table, do evil things, and have everyone beat me down for my reanimation crimes.
If you are interested, you can check out that deck here.
Anyways sorry, back to the locked tomb, SO I like the graveyard right? Wouldn't it be nice that there'd be a famous woman necromancers in mtg? What if she leaded the deck?
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Well, the most that I can say is that there really can be too much of a good thing. I'm talking about swamps.
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Initially I had these two running around in the Ratadrabik deck. I still stand by the idea of having these flip walkers be young Harrow/Gideon and flip them into their "First House" versions. The Gideon/Kiriona and Kytheon/Gideon thing still drives me insane.
I was too sad discarding them, so I grabbed the Lilly card and tried to make it work, I really tried, I put on a lot of effort and care. But it didn't work, it wasn't her, it was me.
I built a pretty generic aristocrat shell, but I think that type of archetype really benefits of having more colors to work with (specially white).
So, with three commanders locked in the tomb (I also tried a Gut rakdos deck but I'm not even going to talk about it), what was next? I spent months on these and still had nothing to show for it. Was I the problem? Was I cursed with bad deck dissease?
No, that cannot be. I'm building other decks while this is going on and those are doing just fine. Lae'zel//Master Chef, Gandalf Big Artifacts. The issue might be that the head of the deck is always caring for just the one thing, there was not much diversity. I kept making Necromancers but had no Cavaliers to back them up.
If there could just be a way to have two little guys up there in the command zone. Wait a minute...
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So, this was truly a jank fest. Partner is an extremely strong mechanic in commander, and Tymna is specially strong as a card to have access early. So I decided to justify using these to make the biggest pile of nonsense happen.
Equipment? check. Initiative? check. Skeletons? check. Zombies? check. Graveyard? check. Lifegain? check.
While goldfishing I realized that while the commanders do a great job to sustain the rest of the deck, the ammount of themes and archetypes made this a pile of cards that I can barely call a deck. And worst of all, they enabled two pretty strong commanders, and that didn't feel that'd be satisfactory at all in actual play.
I even prepared proxies for these! Feel free to use them if you want.
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Also, I tried the whole partner thing swapping out Tymna for Ikra Shidiqi. Bringing out another whole color didn't help with the theme soup I was working with.
So I wholy abandoned the idea of both partners, and maybe even making this deck.
Maybe my hopes and dreams of having a functional silly lesbians and skeletons deck were doomed (yuri) from the beginning.
Months pass, I built 3 or 4 other decks in the meantime that work, can compete and be fun, sometimes all at the same time if you'd believe it. I had completely lost faith in this deck idea.
All until one day, were I was checking out a pile of cards I had pulled from the recent MH3 set to put them into my binder. And then I see it. There he was, this fucking guy with a shovel(?), looking at me.
I read again his fairly big wall of text, what does this guy do again?
Oh, he does necromancy stuff? attacks? wait wait, he draws POWER from the GRAVEYARD?? in JUND?
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He really saved it. Not only I feel this perfectly represents the dynamics of Cavalier is in charge of creating enough thanergy for their necromancer, but ALSO does the necromancer thing, and ALSO loves having like 10 power and beating down face. This was a message, the dream was still alive.
So, I make a list, I order cards, I scrounge cards from my other black decks. And there it is. It's real
The Locked Tomb Griddlehark Commander Deck
But... that's not how my list looks right now. Yeah I know this deck is cursed into being always changing I think. But, the main issue here was what I said before. It had to pull cards from multiple decks to sustain itself. And I learned quickly that I don't like having my baby, my Sauron, being not functional, and that keeping track of what cards are where and swapping them out constantly sucks tremendously.
So, I pulled back most of the cards to their original decks. What was left was a corpse, a beautiful incomplete deck. So I selected cards from my collection, lower powered ones, niche ones, weird ones, and put them in for their more powerful counterparts.
It's function is extremely simple, it fills it's graveyard quickly, ramps, and with Coram on the battlefield, you turn that self-mill into card advantage, the graveyard into a power source and bring back powerful creatures like the Resurrection Beasts (Eldrazi)
There also are skeletons in there, of course.
This deck needed to die many deaths to exist. But isn't that the theme?
I'll make sure to put up the new decklist on my moxfield whenever I get a few upgrades.
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chaifootsteps · 6 hours
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Keith David recently complimented the hb cast saying when he’s with them he’s in the presence of something beautiful. I think that’s really sweet, because yes, the vast majority of the cast of HB seem like very kind and passionate people. I’m really glad Keith is having a good time, and tbqh I’ve never really had an issue with the cast.
But weirdly there are already people saying shit like “you just KNOW the Hazbin haters are mad lol” and that Keith said Hazbin was his favorite role—
FIRST—It’s really weird that they assume people who don’t like Hazbin think Keith needs to be “saved” or some shit? Keith David is a grown ass man who can make his own decisions. He’s a very very talented individual, who has been in TONS of movies and shows, and has done a lot of really amazing voice work. He’s the best performer on HH imo, and while I don’t like Hazbin Hotel personally, I find it downright bizarre that Stans would assume that we’re like…mad at him or don’t think he can make his own choices??
SECOND—the clip that was circulating did not show him saying Hazbin is his favorite role, he said he’s in the presence of something beautiful with the other cast mates and crew while working on the show (which tbh, I agree with—I really love a lot of the actors/actresses on the show, and I think, all things considered, they did a good job with what they were given. I’m of the opinion that the voice director did a pretty bad job, as a lot of the seasoned VAs on the show sounded kinda off, but I digress)
And hey, if he DID say that on a separate post or clip like. That’s okay??? He’s allowed to like the role??? If it’s his favorite role that’s great!!! That doesn’t automatically mean that everyone who’s ever criticized or disliked Hazbin is wrong in their opinion.
There’s like. This weird insistence I’ve seen in Hazbin Stan spaces where they point to the professionals who have worked with Spindlehorse or started in Viv’s shows and are like “SEE??? THIS REALLY TALENTED PERSON WAS ON THE SHOW!!! SO IT MUST BE GOOD!!!!”
And I mean. That’s still all subjective. I’m so sorry, but it is!! Idk how to tell yall this but great actors and artists have been in some really really bad movies. It’s not really an indicator of if something is SURE to be well written or made. Again, all subjective, but like. Idk Keith David is very very much allowed to think Hazbin is the greatest story of all time and his favorite role ever, and I’m very much allowed to disagree with him on that, but still enjoy his body of work.
My favorite performance of his will always be Childs from John Carpenter’s “The Thing”, but that’s just, like, my opinion, man!!! Who cares!!! Maybe Keith hated that role! That would make me a little concerned, because I’d be worried that he was treated badly or was struggling during the filming, but if it turned out he just didn’t think it was a good movie? That’s okay!!!! Him not liking his part in it wouldn’t take away what I like about it.
Just had to vent that. I really really hate when fans or critics bombard actors from shows in any way, either by being overly familiar in a really parasocial way, or by acting like they’re “owed” something from them.
Either way, love Keith, not a fan of Hazbin personally, and that’s an incredibly normal cold take to have that for whatever reason some people apparently cannot fathom. It’s kind of sad to me that people will see an actor compliment a show they like and immediately go “PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE THIS SHOW MUST BE SO MAD RIGHT NOW HA!!” Instead of being like “aww yay, I’m so glad the actor enjoys the character”
(In the same way, I really loved Adam Sandler in Hotel Transylvania and Fifty First Dates. Doesn’t mean I have to love every single “grown ups” film, or defend “Jack and Jill” as high art cinema. I don’t understand why people don’t get this Chai. Anyway! Have a great night!!)
Even if we discount the fact that Keith David was probably (rightly) treated like a king on that set just because he's an old guy and Keith David, what the hell do they think he's going to say? "I hope this show and everyone involved with it gets fucked with an iron stick?"
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ganondoodle · 1 year
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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kekisu · 6 months
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not to step onto anyones toes or whatever, im not really a writer or anything but i think fanfic writers are allowed to call themselves writers, mostly because fanartists are allowed to call themselves artists. im just applying the same logic because it makes sense. im not a fanfic reader either its just not really my thing usually but this is just my opinion, i dont get separating fanfic writers from "real writers," the same way it isnt right to separate fanartists from "real artists" because at the end of the day we all have the same fundamental skill set and are passionate about what we make. the only difference is that we're expanding upon already existing work rather than making something brand new, and even then fanwork can be incredibly transformative to the point of being unrecognizable as being based off that outside thing. idk
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miodiodavinci · 3 months
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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?
i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever
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more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there
#mio answers things#anon#i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs#on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with#but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again#(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school#where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works#and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after#they very much directly aligned with mine#but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just#ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj#like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs#i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w#but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf#like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg#it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve#i simply will not be posting <3333#(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends#over strangers on the internet#and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w#AH
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scatterpatter · 10 months
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Every time i cringe when old of mine gets notes again, I then get this kinda swell of pride
Like man I never would've thought that a silly doodle I did in the middle of a hyperfix in 2019 would over 4 years later bring a smile to someones face
Like how many times I've gone down internet rabbit holes and found fanart over a decade old but still managed to bring a smile to my face, how many abandoned fics and comics and art people dont really think abt anymore still bring me joy when I stumble upon them
And I might not be proud of my old work because I've improved and I get embarrassed because I know I could do so much better if I re-did it nowadays, but like thats not the point. When I made it way back when it made me happy, and while it's not up to my personal standards anymore, it still makes other ppl happy. Other ppl arent holding my old art to the standards i am.
My one lil moment of joy that sparked a doodle inspiration kinda went across time and brought a smile to someone else's face way down the line when im not even really in the fandom that doodle was for anymore
AUs I've since gone back and went "eugh" with because I know I couldve approached them with better designs and writing nowadays, even tho I don't think it's good enough, someone else does, and like. thats just. thats just nice.
Idk. I dont have a point to this. I just hope that stuff i make today makes ppl happy years down the road. That's a nice thought.
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xxjeffthekillerxx · 1 year
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can we please discourage kids from being the heros in internet drama..??? idk pitting kids against each other to try and fix situations involving incredibly serious topics when they themselves cant even fully grasp such concepts just doesnt sound very healthy. i dont think that type of peer pressure, stress, or responsibility is good for a kids development
#txt#very basic concept#the furry and art community in particular seems to have an issue#like hmmm maybe the foxiboxi situation was actually not good at all and its absolutely horrible that someone had their reputation ruined fo#because of incredibly over exaggerated alligations made by a child is not good#and with the croaket or wutever their name was “rendering process” shit was actually really bad and its incredibly lucky that the artist#being targetted (being a minor) is still making art on a different social platform and even so#being absolutely dogpiled by an entire app just because you draw the eyes to high up and they start faking screenshots of you saying the#n word and accusing you of drawing stuff theres no actual evidence of you drawing is bound to be a traumatizing experience#especially since said artist WAS A MINORRRRRRR#we need to raise the minimun age for social media#rants#i told my mom about the croaket drama one time and she was dare i say flabbergasted and horrified for me#tiktok is a genuinely harmful social platform that has somehow managed to be both the most toxic social platform while also being#simultaneously being one of the most moderative and oppressive social apps available.#saying the word ass ❌❌❌❌❌ harrasing a minor off the app for drawing the forehead too small ✅✅✅✅😊#proof phones ruined the internet#genuinely tiktok needs to be an 18+ app simply for how its used to harrass and bully people#like genuinely its such a trauma filled app#people seem to be way more focussed on the “china spy on u” and “its addictive” side of tiktok like YEA its a addivitive but just take a#mere glance at the community on there. THAT SHOULD BE THE MAIN WORRY#KIDS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO POST ON AN APP THAT GIVES THEM THE POWER TO BUILD SUCH A BIG AUDIENCE SO EASILY#THIS APP SURE AS HELL AINT SAFE FOR KIDS UNDER 13 AND STILL ISNT SAFE FOR KIDS ABOVE 13 DUDE#14 IS NOT THAT MATURE#14 IS NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO BUILD AN ONLINE AUDIENCE AND LEAD WITCHHUNTS#14 IS NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO POST ON TIKTOK
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gibbearish · 6 months
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a weird little thing abt me is i will definitely mock shitty ai art but it never feels right doing it about the hands simply by virtue of the fact that a lot of them look indistinguishable from the hands i was doing years ago when i first got a drawing tablet
#like id have the right number of fingers obv but like. putting the thumb on the wrong side#fingers bending weird directions or connecting in weird places#weird anatomy at joints‚ freaky nails‚ bad proportions‚ bad perspective‚ etc etc etc#people say 'this isnt ai like in sci-fi its just machine learning' but to me its a lot more interesting to look at it as#'this isnt ai like in scifi /yet/'#like yeah the stuff ai does in fiction isnt possible at this point but like. i find it difficult not to wonder if this#is the ai version of infancy stages yknow? like.#ppl go 'its cant write its own stuff its just recycling stuff its been fed' as if thats not kinda how people . learn to talk?#idk i just find it hard to agree with arguments that act like where we currently are at is the furthest these technologies could possibly#evolve in our lifetimes#'it just makes things up' you mean like toddlers going on long winding rambles about unicorns and monsters or w/e#'it cant do art good' you mean like a child? or even just literally Anyone who doesnt know how to draw yet?#like. idk. i feel like people are trying very very hard to insist the ai of today is still the same as it was in the clevverbot days#and that its impossible to evolve any further#people want to cling to the old days when ai stuff didnt pass the turing test by a much wider marging than it tends to now#dont want to admit that it does indeed sometimes surpass the turing test and likely would be able to even moreso were it#not for restraints#(see: that one stock trading ai that did insider trading vs various chatbots not bring allowed to write disparaging things#about copyrighted people or w/e)#if ai stuff was still truly indistinguishable from human works then we wouldnt need to spend so much time#hashtag exposing things as being ai generated#and i just think its bad to‚ in pursuit of that‚ mock things that are like. just stuff all beginner artists struggle with#i guarantee you there is not a single artist out there who hasnt drawn a hand that made them want to curl up and die at least once.#i got very off-topic there but swung it back around at the end there so. hashtag win#origibberish
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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I gotta be honest I’ve been trying to stay away from rggtwt both because of the unnecessary beef and also because of the rampant whitewashing that seems exclusive to Twitter
Like I know it’s a problem with every fandom but I can’t help but scream every time i see shishido and co lookin absolutely ghostly
funnily enough twitter had been relatively lax on drama as of late, only recently it's been starting up again (tho ig thats cause of the release of gaiden and LAD8 interviews dropping that peple are given reasons to talk bout the games)
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atenceladusiaawfytbwb · 4 months
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I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈
(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot
(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)
#I love AI as the behemoth it is#yeah fuck all generative content it steals ideas money and dignity even if you may#the whole thing is so so big i feel is like saying you are antiagriculture bc you don't like the current shape of watermelons like#very valid yes but also you are like 30 thousand years late and aslo everything Everything#and i dont mean just plants Everything has been made of or shaped around it so#in a personal note#like when boi am i getting angry uhm when someone#points they use ai for this or that like to interact even just kill time and they go (here tumblr) no no talk to me to them we arre so open#and ready but like thank you really and it is helpfull but in my vety personal experience it feel like#a wrll intented oh take a deep breath just deep breaths mhen youre drowning like uhhh thanks yeah#the intention is good and it may work to a extent but like ahhAHSHAHHHHHHHHHHHH UHM YOU SEE AHHHHHHHHHHHH#Please if someone somehow for any reason happens to read these heres my explanation point of view#I love AI and am conscious of the problems and bad things it brings#specially here in tumblr where there are sso many artist and writers and such#also all the very crimi al things#like recognized crimes that AI can be used to for#but it is so big so so so much more than that and i promise you is everywhere and it is basically unstooable now like mybe 40 years ago but#now? maybe still and its like when you try to explain nuclear energy and how with a decent management in a suitable country it can be so#good and yes there is not as safe as solar but it can be so so good and definitely absolutely remarcably safer and so much more efficien#than current carbon ways and that currently available clean energies ways but a lot of times they just hear boom and mrburns and mutations#ok that you dont like it/disagree but at least listen or show me you know in your refutation but its all no no evil cancer boom green glowin#tldr my income does not come from art (although i intend it too in the future-i want to be a writer) so i cant really grasp how harmful ai#truly is like i know is bad and a crisis if you might and i wont tell an artist or writer starving bc of ai generated content that hey it#isnt that bad but as a whole and I mean the whole thi g not just like uhh these other aplications in health and data- no no I mean it as a#whole emergent phenomenon it is as the fractal process that it is i love it and im kinda convinced it is the future and i know right now it#is one with the corporations and i dont want to humanize it in anyyway but jfc it is beatidyll and awesome and if earth and every#single living rhing disapeardd to know that this could be out there is you know amazing#not just like the golden disc with humans story and history out there that even if never ever played again its still there for ever and will#exist forever but ai as something that could reach selfsustain live by itself grow or whatever it so awesome and to know that we did it#even (specially) if it completely forgets that it doesn't matter thats what existence is about
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skzdarlings · 17 days
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the rescue ; skz; aotm!hyunjin x reader
original ask: requested by @tattywood: ❛ i'm simply enjoying the view. it's not every day i get to fuck someone so pretty. ❜ would 100000% fit Hyunjin 🩶 + requested by anonymous: ❛ you're mine, and i take care of what belongs to me. ❜ with hyunjin? thank you
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pairing: hwang hyunjin/reader content info: artist of the month!hyunjin was inspo here. gangster stuff, reader has been kidnapped and is in a see through nightdress, most violence off page though, bad guy hyunjin who is actually a good guy, arranged marriage, multiple smut scenes, not great communication but gets better lol. smut includes fingering, blow jobs, pussy eating, piv, spanking, light choking, husband/wife kink. word count: 6300 words.
masterlist. part of the valentine’s day stories series. credit to prompts. requests are closed.
enjoy! <3
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“I’ve already explained,” you say, equal parts frustrated and exhausted.  “My husband isn’t coming for me.” 
The gangster cronies still don’t seem to understand.  You are tied to a chair in their basement (because they are preposterously corny goons, tying you up like a comically silly damsel in a ridiculous film) while they berate you for your husband’s tardiness.    
You have tried explaining, over and over, that Hyunjin is not coming, but they won’t accept that answer.  The fools try in vain to reach him again, but his line leads straight to a dial tone. 
He went radio silent after the initial video contact, when your captors demanded a price for your healthy return. 
Hyunjin was quiet on the call.  Your husband is a quiet man in general, though he knows how to use his charms and work a room, and he has certainly perfected the art of severe intimidation.  When your marriage was arranged, one mob family to the other, you mistakenly assumed you were marrying a monster. 
Hyunjin is very reserved when not conducting business.  He doesn’t engage in any of the more debauched sides of the business, unlike the men in your family.  Evenings at home are silent and still, the penthouse view of the glittering cityscape the only real bustle. 
Maybe that shouldn’t have surprised you.  When he took over his family’s business, Hyunjin altered a lot of their practices, cutting the crueler sectors, opting for illicit crimes of more practical varieties. 
The country is in a political chokehold, government affairs conducted none too differently from the criminal underworld.  The cops are all dirty, the politicians corrupt, the wealthy depraved.  Hyunjin has taken it upon himself to alleviate the pressure suffered by the regular people, the civilians who truly pay the price of a broken system.
In a world with no good guys, sometimes only villains can be heroes.    
You think of his face now, how he certainly looked the part of a villain on the video call.  Hyunjin has a very austere demeanour, exacerbated by his severe appearance: sharp marble features and dark, vicious eyes often further darkened with heavy lining, sleek black hair, scattered scars and tattoos, and the sort of regard that judges at a glance.  He is young, but he has the air of a man who has already traversed the universe and found it wanting.       
You think of his face now, the silent perusal he gave your bound body on that video call.  You are dressed in your favourite nightgown, your underthings partially visible through the light material, but it was not willingly donned.   At the time of your kidnapping, you were attired appropriately for the wealthy wife of a famous gangster.  You were returning from a family visit when your captors intercepted you in transit from the airport. 
Either to intimidate or threaten or just because they could, they made you remove all your jewelry and fine clothes.  They rifled through your luggage and demanded you change into the nightgown. 
Hyunjin recognized the nightdress, realized you must have been stripped, and likely inferred the very worst. 
“Address,” was the only word Hyunjin said.   He ended the call seconds later.    
“Oh, he’ll come,” your captor says.  He points at you with a hand that feels more threatening than a knife.  It makes your terrified heart leap into your throat.  “Or else.” 
“He won’t, though!” you exclaim.  “You’re wasting your time!”
They are not listening.  They leave the basement, slamming the door behind them.
You huff and settle back in your bonds. 
It is only a matter of time before they realize you are telling the truth.  Hyunjin will not waste the money or resources to rescue you.  He has always been respectful of the marriage arrangement, but your husband is not sentimental.  There is a professional distance between you.  His decision will be based in the logic of all his strategies: nothing personal, just a matter of business. 
You sometimes see a different side of him, something buried under that quiet intensity.  He collects fine art and spends hours poring over his favourite pieces, listening to music, losing himself to artistic fantasies.  He always comes back, but you know there are other worlds in his mind. 
Every attempt to bridge the gap has been gently rebuffed, but there have been moments when your husband seems curious about you.  You often catch him staring.  He gets a wistful look that softens his face, even with that shield of make-up.  His eyes are gentle when you talk about your passions.  You never let his quietude deter your friendly penchant for chatter.   He seems more than content to listen.  He remembers everything too. 
You know he finds you attractive, if nothing else.  He has caved on that front several times over, though not right away.  He didn’t touch you on the wedding night, nor the honeymoon.  He left your beach holiday early to return to business, leaving you in a villa with security and his credit card.  It was the first time you realized the material world was no replacement for true companionship.  You missed his dark eyes.
Your family also had expectations.  There would be consequences if the marriage fell through.  You would be blamed, not him.  Worried he would renege on the nuptials, you did everything to try and seduce him. 
He politely rejected you at every turn. 
Just when you were resigned, he arrived home after a job.  It was almost three in the morning when he entered the penthouse.  You have separate bedrooms but they share a connecting bathroom.  You could hear him cursing above the running water. 
You only meant to peek.  The sliding door on your side was partially ajar so you tip-toed over. 
Hyunjin was standing in front of the mirror, shirtless, pressing a rag to his wounded shoulder.  There was a mess of blood streaked down his back, making you gasp at the terrible mosaic of pain, his body littered with violent scars. 
That gasp contained multitudes, for the horror, for his beauty.  His dark eyes were as severely lined as ever, expression intense as he breathed hard through the pain.  Smooth black hair fell across his face when he tipped his head. 
He froze at the sound of your gasp.  His turn was very slow, eyes peeking through the curtain of his short hair.  They captured yours.   
You held your breath. 
Eventually, he straightened, flicking his hair out of his face.  He looked in the mirror and sighed.    
“You can come in,” he said.   “This is your home too.” 
You slid the door open, just enough to squeeze through.  Your attention was utterly transfixed on his bleeding shoulder.  You could see the wound was a thin stripe.  It was not deep so stitches were not necessary, but it was slightly out of his reach as it sloped towards his back.
“Oh, Hyunjin,” you said, thoughtlessly taking the rag right out of his hands.    
In spite of the violence that raised you, or maybe because of it, you can’t stand to see suffering.   You and Hyunjin have had that in common from the start.  You were quick to help him clean the wound, wordlessly wiping all the blood then applying cream across the clotted cut. 
He flinched when the stinging cream made contact.  You went to apologize but your words evaporated when your eyes met through the mirror.  You were surprised to find him already looking at you, that expressive gaze as thoughtful as ever. 
“How did this happen?” you couldn’t help but ask, eyes rivetted to his reflection.   “You – you have people to protect you.”  You managed to rip your gaze away, looking at your task, feeling hot in the face. 
“I do,” he said.  “But I’d never ask someone to do something I’m not willing to do myself.” 
This did not surprise you to hear.   It is obvious that Hyunjin cares very deeply about the wellbeing of other people.  It is a fact known to few.  It aggravates you at times, but his reputation does not seem to bother him.  He would rather people think him a monster while he secretly does good rather than be praised in public while cruel in private. 
You have never known another man like him.  Looking at that scar that night, the realization truly struck you. 
Your fingers began to tremble where they brushed his bare skin, your eyes widening as you looked at the scar and many others.  If something happened to him, what would become of you?  Certainly, as his widow, you would be financially sound, but what did that matter?  This world would lose something irreplaceable if it lost Hwang Hyunjin.  This penthouse could be brimming with silver and gold and it would be empty, worthless. 
Tears in your eyes, you succumbed to desire, kissing him very gently on his hurt shoulder. 
“Hyunjin,” you said, your eyes closed, lips grazing his skin as you spoke.  “Please make sure you always come home, okay?” 
He did not answer at first.  When you lifted your eyes and looked in the mirror, those dark eyes were so enflamed that you were surprised nothing caught fire. 
“Hyunjin?” you said softly.   
“You mean that,” he said, not quite a question, more like a realization. 
“Of course,” you replied. You looked at his scarred back again, let your fingertips brush down the length of his spine.  It made him stand a little straighter.  “Have you ever known me to lie?” you asked. 
He finally turned around, looking at you with an long-engrained wariness, but also a hunger.  He was a starving man presented with a banquet, but one who did not easily trust when sitting at someone else’s table. 
“You’re a smart woman,” he said.  “I know that.  And I know that you’re – good.” 
Good was an exhale, like the word was too heavy for his tongue.  You realized that his wariness was less suspicion for you than hesitation regarding himself.  He was only starving because he though himself undeserving of the meal he wanted. 
“You’ve seen – and done – many bad things tonight, haven’t you?” you asked. 
Having the full force of his gaze was overwhelmingly heady.  You remember how it made your heart race like you were being chased, your breath catching over and over until you were almost panting. 
Arousal struck quickly, a sensation like you never experienced before.  You thought you understood attraction, but not until that moment when he released a breath, so close to your face, and you became truly aware of his proximity.   Of him, of all that he was, all that he did.  His character, his hidden depths.
Your husband. 
It made your racing heart thunder something fierce, your blood pumping hotly, throbbing places you did not know were so sensitive. 
You desperately wondered what was on his mind.  The gears in his head were spinning and whirring, delaying his response.  Was he feeling the same tension?  Were his thoughts the same realization?
 My wife.  
“Yes,” he finally said. 
“Is there something I can do to help?” you asked.
His tattooed hand cupped your head, tilting it just so.  It made your lips part with a gasp, eyelids heavy with anticipation for a kiss. 
He took his time looking at you, like he was scrubbing all those bad memories away, replacing them with the flustered look on his aroused wife’s face. 
“Yes,” he said again, and kissed you for the first time. 
You were so glad he rebuffed your previous half-hearted advances, clumsy seductions made out of obligation rather than desire.  It was so different to that kiss.  You would not have known how to even ask for a kiss like that.  You never knew what you were missing. 
Your quiet husband and his multitudes.  All that simmering intensity, hot just below the surface of his icy demeanour, burned right through his skin.  His kiss was ravishing, entirely possessive, like he wished to take your whole essence into him and hold it forever. 
He walked you backwards.  With a snap of his wrist, he slid the door open the rest of the way, so sharp that it tried to bounce back.  He continued onward, kissing you until you were dizzy with it.   
He picked you up just to put you on the bed himself.  Your kiss separated only then as you landed with a bounce and a breath. 
He loomed over the edge of the bed, this man who was both stranger and husband, hero and villain.   He looked at you like he already loved you.  He looked at you and saw the reciprocation.  You had fallen for him without realizing you had ever even stumbled. 
He ran his hands through his hair, the sleek black locks fluttering back into place.  His eyes were still rivetted to your face, to your body.  You were wearing the nightdress you are wearing now.  It is why it became your favourite. 
He looked down at you, the material translucent enough to see the details of your body.   It broke through that last layer of ice.  He surrendered with a choked breath. 
He unclasped a holster on his thigh, dropped a knife that was hidden in a pocket.   Once unarmed, his hands went to his belt.  You watched those nimble, efficient fingers, swallowing hard.   You were aching to an embarrassing degree, undoubtedly obvious in your desires.  No one ever warned you it would feel like this, just being looked at, never mind touched.
Then his belt was on the floor and he touchedyou for real.   His calloused hands moved up your thighs, pushing the nightdress up and out of his way.  He climbed on top of you, swift as a feline, mouth descending onto yours with that same desperate hunger as before. 
Recollection makes you crave another kiss.   You think you will always be starving for more. 
“Hyunjin,” you whispered, hands on his face, his shoulders, down to his chest. 
He took your hands and laced your fingers with his, pinning those hands to the bed.   He kissed you again, long and slow.  It was all more sensual than desperate.
His voice, however, was desperate when he begged, “Let me make you feel good, please.”  He kissed down your face, your jaw, your throat.  “Please, my wife.”  He kissed further down still, through your nightdress, tracing the curve of your breast with his tongue, wetting the material and awakening every nerve beneath it.   “My wife,” he repeated. 
“My husband.”  The words left your lips in a dizzy, delirious whisper.   
It was all the confirmation he needed.  Those deft and skilled hands, so quick to assemble weapons and pull triggers, applied themselves with a startling gentleness.  He took you apart and put you together with the same efficient ease.   
He hooked his fingers in the only material between him and his desire, tugged it out of his way.  His fingers went to you, slipping through all that wetness.  Those intense eyes rolled back even though it was just his fingers inside you, then he closed his eyes like it was too much, and it seemed he had to temper himself, murmuring nonsense as he let his fingers sink into you. 
He kissed you again, drinking down every sigh and gasp and moan while he fucked you with his long fingers.  It was like he could taste your pleasure, like he was trying to get drunk on it, every noise you made filling his mouth.  He gave them back and brought you over a peak, first with his hands, then with his mouth.  He laid between your legs and put your thighs around his head, losing himself entirely in you. 
He did not remove a single article of your clothing nor his pants, not that first time.  He simply held the material to the side as he unzipped and finally got inside you.  It made your whole body keen, coming to life like it never had before.  You forgot all your sensibilities and let every wanton sound and action loose.
He responded in kind.  His kiss tasted like your pleasure, his heart pounding as fast as yours where your chests pressed together.  You were careful near his injured shoulder, fingertips dodging scars.  Your soft touch made him whimper, this powerful man entirely undone by a few caresses. 
His skin was hot and he worked up a sweat, but his stamina seemed endless.  He always wanted more. 
You fell asleep tucked in his arms, content to believe the walls had crumbled.   However, they revealed themselves in the morning light, as concrete as ever.  He slipped away and left a note to excuse his absence as he was called away to business.   You thought about phoning or messaging him, but those lines were not always secure, not for such intimate conversations. 
When he returned a few days later, he hid behind those concrete walls, but too much had changed.  There was now an awareness of your proximity and your distance.  The lack of intimacy was not called into question before, the absence of something being a nothing.  But now that nothing was something, or had been something for a moment, and it made you both very aware of how it was now missing – and anticipating always when it might again appear.
He tried very hard to keep away, to stay cordial at best, his habitual quietude even heavier than before.  But while his silence was significant, so was his glance.  Every time you turned around, he was already looking at you, a longing in his eyes and a thought on his lips that he never dared to speak aloud. 
You granted him some distance for a time.  When it became abundantly obvious he was holding himself in check, you realized that your own vulnerability was required to bridge the gap. 
One night you crossed through the bathroom, slid open the door on his side.  You found him at his desk, dressed down in a white dress shirt and pants.  His blazer was discarded on the floor, his face still made up. 
He stood quickly when you entered, though he didn’t say anything. 
It was strange to imagine this man would need any reassurance, but you felt that was the case.   His fingers fidgeted at his sides, his roving eyes studious.
You said nothing.  You approached him, laid your hands on his chest, and gently guided him back into his chair.  He sat slowly, his eyes on your face the entire time, even when he had to tip his head back to peer up at you. 
You ran your fingers through his hair.  When you entered the room, his face was tightly screwed in an expression of aggravation, but all those harsh lines softened as you traced a thumb down the sharp slope of his cheek. 
There were some wipes on his desk.  You took one and began to carefully remove that shield of dark make-up.  His hand lifted but not to stop you, simply to rest his palm on your waist.  He began to really touch you, feeling the shape of your body through your robe as you helped him come back to himself. 
“Hello,” you finally said, looking at his bare face.  Still impossibly beautiful.
“Hello,” he replied. 
His fingertips dipped towards the hem of the robe.  Before he could distract you with your own pleasure, you sunk to your knees in front of him.  This startled him, his hand frozen in the air as you fit yourself between his open knees. 
He caught your hand, his reflexes fast, before it could reach his fly.   You could see he was already affected, a heavy bulge in the black material making your mouth water and core tighten. 
He squeezed your hand and you looked up at his face.   He tipped his head, blinked rapidly, an expression of mild confusion.
You took your hand back and unknotted your robe.  The silk fell from your shoulders and down, sliding like water right off your body.  You were completedly naked underneath. 
It clarified everything, his confusion gone, replaced with surprise.
“You—” he began.  It was interrupted when you put your head in his lap, resting on his thigh.  You led his hand to the back of your neck and kissed him through his pants.  It made his fingers clasp tighter around you.  
“Please,” you said. 
He would never deny you anything.  Not the smallest gift nor grandest gesture.  When you started a new charity to further your combined philanthropic efforts, he spared no expense in aiding the endeavour.  You shared passions, and now you shared this.
He was stiff at the start, but gradually let himself go lax in his seat.  His hand kept a steady grip on the back of your neck, not guiding but holding, like he thought you might disappear otherwise.  He murmured your name, letting his head fall back as you worked him in your mouth. 
You intended to make him finish like that, seeking nothing for yourself at that precise moment.  He had other ideas, needing more of your shared pleasure to take him over that brink. 
He lifted your face, adjusted his pants, and was on his feet in a matter of seconds.  That hand on your neck dragged you up, up, up until your naked body was pressed against his clothed one.  He clung to you needily, claiming your mouth in a wanting kiss. 
His hands moved over you, every new inch of skin making him moan as he walked you towards the bed.  The kiss only broke when you both sat down, his lips against yours as he breathed, almost smiling, “My pretty wife.”
“Hyunjin,” you said, shaking your head, feeling suddenly shy just because of a simple compliment. 
He did not allow you to curl into yourself with any shame.  When you tried, he seized you, pulling you onto his lap so you straddled it.   His eyes moved up and down your body, hands following, from your thighs to hips to waist and up. 
 “What are you doing?” you said, laughing helplessly when he kissed somewhere ticklish on your throat.  The sound made him smile, even softer than before, though it turned a little wicked as his mouth went lower. 
“I’m simply enjoying the view,” he said, then wrapped his lips around the stiff peak of your breast, ran his tongue up and over.  He licked and kissed back up to your mouth.   “It’s not everyday I get to fuck someone so pretty.” 
As he said this, he opened his pants again, eyes on yours as he grabbed your thighs and moved you so he could thrust up into you.  His hips moved with a slow roll, letting you adjust to him.  It had been a little while, and this angle was different.
And Hyunjin is not small.  Your husband is built in perfect proportion, his body a long, hard, slender build – everything inside you at that moment was no exception.   This angle made you whimper, clinging to him like  he was a life preserver in a storm.  The roll of his hips kept coming like waves and you were sure you would drown otherwise. 
Your arms were around his neck, his graceful but strong hands digging into the meat of your thighs as he fucked you.  He felt impossibly deep, every upward stroke feeling like it was bursting past something, pushing everything inside your body up to your throat. 
You swallowed again and again, the taste of him still on your lips, the feel of him inside every inch of you.  You clenched and tightened involuntarily, just pure animal reaction, and it made him moan and find all those sweet spots to make it happen again.    
“Help,” was your somewhat nonsensical request, blurted in the midst of some moaning babbling.
Fortunately, he was and is a smart man.  He understood.  He clasped you tight to his body and fell back on the bed, thrusting up into you with sharper, more focussed determination, faster until you were weeping on his chest, delirious with pleasure.  His shirt was unbuttoned and you accidentally ripped a few buttons right off, trying to press your face to bare skin. 
“Yes, yes, yes,” you said as you tumbled over a height you never reached before.  You never knew you could come just from that, stimulated somewhere so deep inside you, but it made you come undone in his arms. 
He watched you unravel and it made him follow, clinging to you as he just barely pulled out before coming between your dripping thighs.  It was all so messy and wet, your legs trembling, but it felt so good that it hardly mattered. 
He caught his breath, then looked at your face just lose that breath again.  He moaned and dragged you in for another kiss.
Then you were on your back, the night far from over. 
That second night is the one that truly opened the door to more.  Though your husband can be reticent in other regards, he is not quiet when he is inside you.  You have come together again and again, a conversation with your bodies as you look for pleasure in a dangerous world.   You always find it, tucked in the protective circle of his arms, wrapped around every inch of him. 
You have been out of his arms for too long.  Your visit to your family grew tedious before long.  Your home is with Hyunjin now and you were eager to return. 
Now it seems you may never see it again.  You may never see him again. 
No.
Just like the night when you took control for yourself, you must take control now.  You realize if anything is to happen, then you must take the reins of your own rescue.  You would not want Hyunjin to compromise himself or his important business.  You know if something bad happened to you, it would weigh on his conscious, even if it was the better business decision.  You must eliminate the need for choice. 
It turns out, comical rope bindings are truly best suited for silly movies.  When the men come to check on you again, you have slipped free of your bindings.  There was an array of weapons in the room, so carelessly disposed because the assailants never assumed you would get free – or, if you did get free, that you would not know how to use them. 
It is true, you do not like violence. 
That does not mean you do not understand it. 
You leave the two men unconscious in their basement.  Unfortunately, you cannot find your suitcase and you do not want to hang around, so you venture outside in your nightgown.  You are debating your next move when a car pulls into the driveway. 
You back away quickly, raising the gun you stole as more men get out of the vehicle.  You only stay your hand because you recognize one of them, though it takes a second to place him as one of Hyunjin’s lieutenants. 
Then Hyunjin emerges.   You have seen your husband before and after a confrontation, but never during it.  If you thought he was an intimidating figure in the aftermath, he is all danger and darkness as he storms up the driveway now.   There is such an energy radiating from him, it makes you stumble and forget yourself entirely. 
Then he stumbles, recognizing you.  You are both startled, staring at each other with the gun raised between you. 
He looks nowhere but your eyes. 
“Hyunjin?” you finally say. 
“I—”  He looks at you, the gun, the nightdress.  He shakes his head.  Some of that bravado returns when he says, “I’m here to save you.”
“Ah,” you say.  You slowly lower the gun, at a loss how to reply.  You were so resigned to the idea this was all still business.  The reality of your husband risking himself to rescue you from unknown hostiles is making your heart pound.  
In the end, all you can think to say is, “Sorry.  You’re late.” 
That wicked smile crosses his face, his tongue pushing at the corner of his mouth.  He is suddenly nothing but amused, looking at you, then at the house.
“I can see that,” he says. 
He whistles sharply and gestures to the house with a gloved hand.  His lieutenants run past you and charge the door, no doubt heading inside to finish the job you started.        
You turn to watch them go.  In your distraction, Hyunjin grabs your arm.  He is fast, effectively disarming you.  He catches the gun with a twirl before tossing it aside.
It is not the gun he wants; it’s you.
Still holding your wrist, he tugs you into him.  You throw your arms around him.  The hug is surprisingly chaste, his face in your neck as he squeezes you like it is the only thing keeping him alive and standing.
“Are you hurt?” he asks. 
When in his arms, it seems impossible to consider you could ever feel any pain. 
You shake your head, daring to kiss his cheek.  He turns his face to yours, your lips close enough to brush in a swipe. 
“I’m all right now,” you say.  “Sorry I beat you to the punch.  I – I wasn’t sure if—”
His brow crinkles.  That gloved hand goes from your wrist to your chin, seizing it between thumb and forefinger.  He tips your head so he can look at your face.  He always regards you like he does one of his masterpieces, like he can never get his fill, like there is always something new to find.  He is enchanted every time. 
“You’re mine,” he says.  “And I take care of what belongs to me.” 
You gasp when those fingers go from your chin to your throat, just enough to pull you in that last breath of a space.  He kisses you there in the sunlight, utterly shameless. 
“Do not ever doubt that,” he says.  His eyes are soft with his affection, but his voice is hard, skirting the edge of a threat he would issue an adversary.  It makes you tingle from head to toe.  “Do I need to remind you?” 
You never actually answer.  You are not sure if your answer would have made a difference, as Hyunjin is determined to show you the very second you are home. 
You reach the penthouse. There is no time to shower or decompress once you cross the threshhold.  He sweeps you off your feet, your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist.  You are wearing his blazer over your nightdress to preserve your modesty – not that it will last long.
He carries you to the bedroom where so many slow and subtle exchanges took place.  Now, he is not slow or subtle.  He is a force of nature.   He tells you that he held no greater fear than losing you and he tried to keep his distance, but he regretted it the moment he saw you on that video call. 
“You’re my wife,” he says, peeling his blazer off your body.  “I’m your husband.  There is nothing I should be holding back.” 
“Yes,” you say, running your fingers through that smooth black hair.  You shiver as he bunches the fabric of your nightdress, the material spilling over his fingers.   “Don’t hold back,” you say, mouth open against his, stealing his every breath.   “Do whatever you want.” 
He tells you exactly what he wants, using his words for a change, finally letting those walls come down.  He whispers every filthy thought into your ear, between kisses, between bites.   You shiver at every suggestion. 
And so, moments later, he is sitting on your bed.  He arranges you to lay across his lap, facedown in the pillows while he runs his hands down your spine and over the curve of your ass. 
“You’re my wife,” he says.  The first tap of his open palm is through the thin material of your nightdress.  It is truly just a warning tap, just enough to make you bounce.  “Don’t ever doubt me again,” he says, swinging that strong hand a little harder.  
This time a yelp escapes your lips.  You wriggle until he pins you down, a hand on the back of your neck and the other lifting your dress.   He already stripped your underthings, his open palm smoothing down all that bare skin.  
You tingle with anticipation, braced yet still unprepared for the sharp smack he next delivers.  You feel it tingle all the way up to your head, as well as the next one, and the next.   You squirm under his firm grip, groaning his name as your thighs get tense and press together. 
“Don’t say my name,” he says, and smacks you again.  “Who am I?”
“M-my husband,” you say, practically mewling like a kitten when he next brings his hand down.  “My husband,” you say again. 
“And you are—”
“Your wife,” you say, though it comes out almost like a sob, a desperate gasp as he slips his fingers between your thighs and finds a new way to torture you.   With your backside hot and stinging, the pleasure of his hand in that sensitive place feels amplified by a tenfold. 
“Husband,” you say, hips bucking.  His free hand goes from the back of your neck to your lower spine, holding you in his lap as he slowly finger-fucks you.
“Yes?” he says.
You do not even remember what you were going to say, or beg, or plead.  You are overcome with sensation, tingling all over, intensifying the press of his fingers as he curls his fingers into that soft, soft place.  Then you are really squirming, helplessly, instinctively, whining into the pillows. 
“I make you feel good,” he says.  “I take care of you.  You, who are so good, and so smart, but so—”
You cry out when he angles his hand just a little differently.  Your vision swims with stars as he speeds up. 
“So soft,” he says, his own voice going soft, just a whisper as he makes you come all over his hand in a throbbing, aching, desperate wet mess.  “Just for me,” he says in that whisper.  “Just for your husband.” 
“Mmmf,” is all the response you have left in you. 
Your thighs are trembling and your pussy throbbing with aftershocks when he picks you up.  He stands and turns, laying you on your side in the bed.  You are grateful, as your backside still stings, though you suspect he is not done yet.
He strips out of his clothes, tearing through his shirt, leaving the pants in a heap.  He forgets to remove his necklace.  All that silver is cold against your hot skin as he lays down behind you.   You do not have time to linger on it, as he gathers up the hem of your dress and adjusts himself behind you. 
He has taken you many times, in many ways, many positions.   When you are on your hands and knees, he is overtaken by a primal urge, your hips as leverage in his hands as he pounds into you like it is a chase.   When you are on your back, he sinks into you slowly and deeply, rocking his hips into yours like he intends to fuck you forever.  When you are in his lap, he rolls his hips in steady, needy waves, captivated by the sight of you in his arms. 
He lays behind you now and wraps his arms around you, coaxes your thighs apart.  Your nightdress is bunched every which way, leaving nothing to the imagination, and you feel especially exposed and vulnerable in this position somehow.  Perhaps it is the fact he is the one holding you open, keeping you in position so he can take you.
You let yourself fall into it, fall into him.  You let him tell you, with words and actions, exactly how he feels. 
Before it ends, you change position.  He lays back and you straddle his hips while stripping off your dress entirely.  He keeps rolling up into you, only stopping when you plant your hands on his chest to slow him down.  Then he practically sinks in the mattress, murmuring your name.  His make-up is smudged, his calloused hands rough on your body.  Whatever pains you experienced have been overtaken by his hands, by the smarting on your backside, still tender as you bring your body down onto his again and again.  He has completely claimed you for himself and you take the same in turn. 
“Hyunjin,” you say.  “My husband, oh—”
He kisses your hand, long and hard, like he needs his mouth on some part of you desperately.  Your fingers are curled into his pretty mouth when he comes, his hands on your hips and his cock buried inside you. 
“Oh,” is your final sound before you slump on top of him, skin to skin. 
He rolls you onto your side, though he keeps you wrapped around him, his arms around you in turn.  His hair is already a sweaty mess and you rub your thumb through some of his shadowy make-up, but those familiar dark eyes are gazing at you with so much warmth.   There is no more ice, no more cold concrete. 
“I should let you rescue me more often,” you say with a laugh. 
He doesn’t laugh back, but he does smile softly.  It should be incongruous with his severe appearance, but it somehow comes together, layers of him exposed all at once as he strokes your cheek.
He looks at you like his favourite work of art. 
“You were the one who rescued you,” he says.   “Just like you rescued me.” 
You cannot find the words to reply, so you kiss him.  It speaks volumes, and he replies, kissing back. 
You lose yourself to the sweetness, to the heat, to the passion, to all those things more, knowing there are many more to come with this man as your husband. 
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asexualjedi · 1 year
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Time to play everyone’s favorite game: is the depression telling me to drop out of law school or are these my normal thoughts.
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runningwithscizzorz · 6 months
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(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references
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(2) Understand what you want to break and how
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(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can
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(4) It's going to look really bad for a while
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(5) Have fun with it!
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(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.
-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.
(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!
(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.
(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.
(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY
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