#just know i WILL shit myself when s2 drops <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[pineappical]

A great person will follow himself

[thissortofsorcery]

💞A different type of rec list ask game, to rep your own fics and other authors you enjoy.💞 Spell out your user name with fic recs. If the letter correlates to one of your fics you rec it (no duplicates use a different fic for repeat letters.) If you get to a letter you don’t have a fic title for you rec one you‘ve liked from someone else. 💖Send this to someone who might need a little love on their own fics or just like spreading the love.💖

Oh, my username is LONG, this is gonna be HARD (haha get it). Keeping it Harringrove to keep it simple (for myself. I have over 3k bookmarks on ao3)

The Green Hawkins Tigers Sweatshirt, by me. 1k, Steve comforts Billy after a run in with Neil.

Hook Possum, by @platypanthewriter. 16k, Steve's a camp counselor and there's a guy Possum Mascot he's very friendly with. This fic had me laughing and giggling from start to finish. It's ART.

I Had to See You, by me. Almost 2k, Billy and Steve broke up three weeks ago, and Steve shows up on Billy's doorstep. One of the fics I'm proudest of.

sad-eyed lady of the lowlands, by @whenyouwishuponastar7. 94k, Steve is a professional babysitter, and is hired to look after Max after she and her older brother move to Hawkins. This was the first fic I read from her and I FELL IN LOVE. Absolute masterpiece. Every time she posts new fics I run to read them so fast.

Shout At The Devil, by @writerwhowritesao3. It's actually a series (155k) that has me by the balls, but the first fic(68k) can be read on its own just fine. It's a retelling of season 2 and it's delicious. It also gives Susan a personality. I would tag just the first fic, but I don't have a J in my username and I HAD to.

Of Cats and Men, by @ihni. 39k, Billy hits a cat with his car, and has to take care of three little kittens. Steve helps. This fics is EVERYTHING to me. Billy and cats get me every time, right in the heart. You will need to hug your pet when you read this, though.

Run for the Shadows, by @shieldofiron. 36k, this fic is DELICIOUS. Friends with benefits to lovers, OBLIVIOUS STEVE. So oblivious. Pure of heart, dumb of ass. I had such a great time reading this fic.

Towel Talks, by @weird-an. 10k, after s3, Steve finds Billy in the community pool sauna. I love this one because An does caring Steve SO WELL. I was like this 🥺 the whole time I was reading it. It's so so good.

On Loving Billy, by lilpeas. I don't know their tumblr. 16k, this is THE break-up and make-up fic. It hurts SO GOOD, their emotions are so beautifully written out. It wrung everything out of me. Love.

for what you have tamed, by skoosiepants. Don't know their tumblr either. 10k. Billy is a cat and a dragon, and he keeps saving Steve's life. I LOVE magical realism, and this fic builds the world incredibly well. It's such a good read.

Sideways, by @robthegoodfellow. 46k. THIS FIC. It spins season 2 on its head so fucking well, oh my god. Rob is such a good writer, I've read this fic more than once and it gets to me every time. Their Billy is incredible.

Only The Freaks Come Out at Night, by shippingmyarmada (idk their tumblr). 67k. GREAT post s2 fic. You know I cry from happiness when I find a post s2 fic. This one is really, really well done.

Rotten Apples, by @weird-an. 14k. It's. a. WITCHER. AU. Do I need to say anything else???????? I love this so much. So much. You have no idea.

Camaro, by @lovebillyhargrove. I'm cheating a little on this one bc I don't know the name of the fic and I wanted to include it, and it's about the Camaro coming alive after season 3 and going on a killing spree to avenge Billy. It gets EVEN BETTER from there. Ana wrote this so well, whenever a chapter dropped on tumblr I lost my shit.

every night fucks every day up, by anonymous. 8k. It's a modern AU, and you know I love my modern AUs. Steve and Billy interact through snapchat. I have a soft spot for snapchat because i first heard about this app reading a Sterek fic in january 2014. This has nothing to do with the fic.

Read to Me?, by lemonlovely (idk tumblr). 12k. Someone leaves books with marked passages at Family Video for Steve. It's SO CUTE. SO CUTE. I love it.

Yeah, It's Me, by @callieb. 29k. Another fic that's between s2 and s3, and this one is SOOOOO GOOD in that their relationship starts as a FWB that's kind of unhealthy and I just about died reading this. Happy ending though. Trust me, it's worth it.

And that's done! It took me over 2 hours to put this together lmao so go give these fics and these writers some love! They deserve it.

[x0401x]

Hi! I've only watched the anime for Tsurune and I LOVED the first two seasons but after reading some of your Tsurune posts it got me curious. How different is the anime adaption from the source material? It sounds like an entirely different thing! I really liked the first season, but apparently it was a disaster? In what ways, if you don't mind me asking? Should I read the novels instead? I'm sorry for so many questions or if you've answered these already

Oh.

Oh, holy shit.

This is not the kind of ask I was expecting to get in the year of our lord 2024.

I’ll start by saying that you’re totally right. It sounds like an entirely different thing because the original work and the anime adaptation are, in fact, almost entirely different from each other. If you ever look for reviews of volume 1 on Japanese sites, the comment you’ll see the most from people who also watched the anime is “it’s so different from the novel that it might be best to just view the two as separate stories”. If I had to estimate how much of the novels was actually included into the animation, I would say 5% to 10%. I’m being pretty generous here.

You’re also right about the first season being a disaster. I remember that when I first watched the first episode of S1, by the moment that the series title came up, I immediately thought to myself, “This won’t sell well. 3k DVD copies, give or take”. And turns out I was wrong. It actually sold around 2.7k, which is even worse than what I had predicted. It did so infamously bad that many fans were worried about the second season before it came out, and some people were being rather foul-mouthed about it, which was a shock for me because you don’t usually see Japanese fans not following fandom etiquette. However, there was much more effort put into S2 than S1, thankfully. There’s also the whole thing with the arson attack, which pulled in people’s interest and support for the series. Overall, it did fairly well, I believe. I would never say that S2 does the novel any justice, but it was light years better than S1. That’s something everyone agrees to, even those who enjoyed S1.

Still, though. Even with S2 being far more successful than S1, that’s technically not so big of a deal, considering S1’s tragic underperformance. The series is known here in Japan mostly because of its association with the arson, but not many people are really into it. I would say that it has a niche audience consisting of 1) people who were already fans of KyoAni to begin with, 2) novel readers and 3) people who practice Japanese archery. As for the overseas audience… barely anyone has ever even heard of Tsurune, be it the anime or the novels. Many people who do know the anime have dropped it by S1, and the reason I see being pointed out the most is that it was “boring as hell”.

Other than this, I’ve noticed something in common when reading comments on S2 from Japanese Twitter. One thing people say a lot (and I do mean a lot) is that they didn’t like S1, but after watching S2, they were able to see that “KyoAni was, in fact, taking this franchise seriously”, so they gave it a second chance. This is meant as a compliment, but although it’s not backhanded per se, it’s kind of underhanded. I mean, who wants to be told, “Thank God you got your shit together this time around”? It’s good that S2 changed people’s opinions on the series, but the fact that it had to be changed speaks volumes about what people thought of S1.

Now, as to whether you should just read the novels, I would say yes. It’s literally the only way to know what Tsurune is truly about. But I have to warn you that, if you loved the anime, you might have to prepare yourself to see the things you loved about it either not being in the novel or taking a completely different turn in it. If you’re able to handle that, then by all means, go ahead and give the source material a try. It’s honestly one of the most unique novels I’ve ever read, and I’ve read just about every light novel out there. The depictions of Japanese archery and Zen go way deeper and you’ll learn much more about the characters, so I’m sure you’ll have a fun time!

[saltpepperbeard]

hi lets show some love for our mutuals. tag your favorite mutuals and tell them why you love them

Oh, anon <3. I so very love that you're spreading this loveliness around, because I ALSO love talking about dear mutuals so LET'S GOOOOO:

@ella-doe - My WIFEY <3. Arguably the #1 Stiddies Fan, and ASSUREDLY the #1 Daddy Jenki-(GETS SHOT). Talking to her is always such a delight; she's so lovely and supportive. Started from the bottom (occasionally screaming over something in DM's), now we're here <3 (married like 4 or 5 times over at this point idk).

@blakbonnet - MY PARTNER IN CLOWN CRIMES 🤡. Any time ANYTHING clown-specific occurs, Meow is like the first person I think of hsdjksds. And I think the feeling is mutual; we both have matching rainbow wigs at this point 🤡🤡🤡. Can't wait to start the clownery right back up after season 2 airs lmao like ALRIGHT, SEASON 3 TRAILER???? 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

@dickfuckk - Josh and I were having a time and a half when some footage of Taika in his S2 Ed getup dropped lmao. Like we Saw God for a split second there. So he understands me on like a fundamental and deep level. He ALSO has saved my life numerous times when it comes to panels, or any other sort of cast/crew-related video. Had it not been for his sacrifices and battles against Pop[redacted] lmao, I would've missed MANY a panel.

@bizarrelittlemew - Talented beyond belief, like holy SHIT. Makes immaculate gif sets (DJenks even reblogged one so like, 🎵can I make it anymore obvviousss🎵), and is also an INSANE writer. Need y'all to know that Keep Your 'Lectric Eye On Me, Babe is in my regular rotation, but I'm just always so SO astounded by everything she makes.

@snake-snack-stede - Regularly makes me laugh OUT LOUD with her memes and commentary. Like, if ever I come across a post with her name on it, I know there's like a 100000000% chance it will make me release some sort of "bAHAAAAA." The wheezes I've whoozed,,, So, she's always very much a welcome presence on my dash.

@sherlockig - If EVER you need a good screen grab/edit of OFMD, Alexz is 10000% your best bet. Has probably captured and edited every inch of the show, which is perfect for the times where you want to see a specific moment and cry/throw up/pass out over it being so wonderfully frozen.

@stedebonnets - The sweetest, loveliest darling of a human being I ever did know. Is always SO wonderfully supportive, and just radiates warmth and niceties. Also makes IMMACULATE gifs; inspired me to turn up the Coloring Heat on a lot of my own, really! And I also just learned that the first OFMD thing I ever reblogged was actually one of her sets, so she's VERY IMPORTANT TO ME SHDJKLS <3

@xoxoemynn - Speaking of understanding me on a deep and fundamental level lmao, EM UNDERSTANDS ME ON A DEEP AND FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL SHDKJS. We keep cracking each other up because like, we'll share the most random opinion ever, only for us to realize we align EXACTLY. she makes me feel Seen, okay. she makes me feel UNDERSTOOD SHDJKSL. Also, her writing is so so lovely, and her presence is even lovelier <3

@forpiratereasons - Produces some of my favorite writing in the entire fandom. I am so SO fond of so many of her stories, and regularly re-visit a lot of them. Insane to me that we regularly cross paths now, because I remember seeing her works before I was officially in the fandom. AND NOW SHE REBLOGS MY SETS??? AND I CAN ALSO SCREAM DIRECTLY @ HER???? #BLESSED HSDJKLS

@not-nervous-jester - And SPEAKING of favorite writing, darling Jams wrote one of my favorites aka Somewhere in the Water. YES, I bring this up a lot, but LISTEN LMAO, I NEED THEM TO KNOW 🔪. I NEED THEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW LOVELY IT IS/THEY ARE 🔪🔪❤️❤️ HSKDJS. And aside from their lovely writing, they also Hear Me Out and hype up my silly goofy screaming fits, which is ALWAYS appreciated <3

@skysofrey - AN ABSOLUTE RAY OF SUNSHINE. I see those 💛💛💛 in the tags or on a post, and just immediately feel so much sunnier myself. Just so so sweet and lovely, and just like Jams, ALSO furthers my hollering/analysis/breakdowns PFFFF. A Hypeman (gn) for the Screams™

@crueley - Yet another person who just Gets my Taika breakdowns, and has also been the DIRECT CAUSE OF MANY SHDKLSKD. Like sometimes I'll just wander into their gif tag, and lol oh no BOOM I've suddenly spiraled down into the abyss. But I can't even be mad about it because we bonded over Mostin Posts, and have been crashing downwards ever since <3 PFFF

@awkward-fallen-angel - Extremely fond of Heather, because he was one of the first people to ever try and talk to me when I first got into the fandom! It's always very daunting wandering into a fandom space, especially after the fact/after things have already dropped. So, she made me feel welcomed/included, and allowed me to find my footing a bit faster as a result. And even though he's busier with life, I still always think about her! Like, that one picture from last October-ish where it was all the spooky mutuals around the cafeteria table? STILL THE MOOD <3

@blackbeardskneebrace - Miles' art drives me bonkers bananas in the best way possible. They always capture the likeness of the characters SO freaking well, and have posted so many creative pieces that my mind gets boggled on the regular. Also, my go-to for FORGS,,, I really love froggies as well, so seeing Little Guys and subsequent facts about them on my dash is SUCH a delight.

@darkinerry - Regularly decks me upside the head with Taika footage I've never seen before, and I cannot express how happy that makes me LMAO. Like, I'll just be minding my business, and suddenly I'll be steaming in a Jodi-shaped crater in the ground because a Taika Gym Set or something equivalent from Marlena has slammed my sorry self through sheets of bedrock idk </3.

@adickaboutspoons - Writes the most poetic, and I mean, THE most poetic tags. I regularly get exposed to just lovely MASTERPIECES of thoughts, and it's like reading a beautiful fanfiction at the bottom of a gif set. Also, regularly backs Stede up, which is always appreciated because I'm holding him so tenderly in my hands at all times. So she GETS IT <3

@aha-my-villainous-thoughts - Creates some of the most striking art EVER. I've said this before, and I'll say it again; the usage of COLOR knocks my socks clean-off. like lol they're gone where did they go idk i am SOCKLESS OVER SUCH LUMINESCENCE. Every piece seems to GLOW, and it's just an absolute marvel to stumble across each and every time. I'm just in a constant state of being blown away, and LOSING MY SOCKS SHDJKLS <3

[m34gs]

Now that you're done watching S2 of Link Click please tell me your top 5 favourite scenes/moments in the series so far!

Oh this is a fun ask! Thank you for sending it to me!! I am so excited to answer this. I love this series so much and I can't wait to get started on the fic ideas I have for it! ehehehehe.

Because of spoilers, I will put the list under a cut! We will be counting down from 5 to 1, with my all-time favourite being #1! Of course, I'll include some honourable mentions, ehehe. I will be excluding the opening and ending credits from both seasons from these, as I don't consider them to be scenes (though I *know* you know the part that would be my absolute fave if I *did* include them).

Alright, which 5 Link Click scenes made Meags go absolutely feral??? Let's get to it!

5. After the earthquake dive, when Cheng Xiaoshi drops to the floor and Lu Guang immediately drops down to comfort him. God. I love that scene so much. You know. You *know* what it fuels in me. The angst. The tension. The...tension 👀👀👀. But seriously, the tenderness of it, too. The moment of just being held by someone close to you while you lose it and cry. My poor, poor baby Cheng Xiaoshi. Looking back on it, knowing what Lu Guang knew from previous dives, knowing he probably knew exactly where it was heading, and that he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to, that he would never be able to stop Cheng Xiaoshi from being overwhelmed by that dive even though he wants to never hurt him. Knowing that he went into it probably trying desperately to justify the pain he would cause his best friend just so that he could save his life. If that isn't a tragic beauty, I don't know what is.

4. Qiao Ling kicking ass in the hospital with Cheng Xiaoshi. My girl can fucking *wield* an IV pole. Love her so much. She's so fucking strong and she makes such a good team with Cheng Xiaoshi when they're fighting off the attackers. Love to see it.

3. The memory where Lu Guang appears at the basketball court. The reason this one holds a special place in my heart is because of his expression. As much as he's "just met" Cheng Xiaoshi; you can see the recognition in his eyes, the longing, the hope, the love...the "you're alive...you're still alive...I have a chance" that sits in his heart and is the only reason he can keep doing this again and again and again. It wrecks me. I love it.

2. Cheng Xiaoshi coming face to face with his own recklessness when he's possessing Lu Guang's body in the past... because oh my god that is so fucking funny. The way he went from "yessss, I just saved myself AND my boyfriend, haha, I win this time" to "jesus fuck I forgot I was an absolute impulsive dumbass" was so fucking funny. And it was so funny seeing his expressions on the usually-stoic Lu Guang's face. Gets me every time I think about it. I will never be over how fucking funny that was. I can just imagine Lu Guang later going "not so funny when you're on the receiving end of the impulsiveness, is it?" ahahahaha.

Honourable Mentions: Qiao Ling slaps Qian Jin at the funeral (get his ass!!!!), Xiao Ma getting shot (zero fucking sympathy for you sir!), Lu Guang buys Cheng Xiaoshi boba tea after the earthquake episodes (we love to see boys being soft and comforting each other, even if one of them has to be a bit tsundere about it...), Qiao Ling and Lu Guang refusing to take cases after the earthquake case in order to protect Cheng Xiaoshi (love to see some protective friends).

When Cheng Xiaoshi gets shot and Lu Guang goes absolutely fucking feral on Qian Jin's ass. Get him. Fucking. GET. HIM. UGH. I love it so much. He's 100% ready to kill the man who shot his lover best friend. I am always here for the calm and composed one losing their absolute shit when the people they love are harmed. You know what they say; demons flee when a good man goes to war. And I love that, this time, Cheng Xiaoshi wasn't dead. He was only grazed. And what does he do? He doesn't fucking hesitate. Lu Guang is beating this guy's ass? Guess that's what we're doing then. Like, sometimes I like to think up to that point he has held in his urges to punch someone not just because of the gun, but also because he's like, "gotta do what Lu Guang would do. Can't disappoint the boyfriend" and then he sees him going nuts and goes "oh if Lu Guang says so, then it must be ok" and decides to join in. Like. Ugh. They are so in fucking love.

Ok, ok, there are my answers! Hope you enjoy! And I'd love to know what your top 5 fave scenes are too👀👀👀

[jaskierx]

Honestly, I really admire (and am thankful for) the way you manage and handle those back and forth with some Izzy stans, I don't think I have the mental strength to entertain them myself.

I wasn't part of the fandom after season 1 aired, I watched it without engaging much and then kind of waited for season 2 to come out, so I had no idea such a divide had happened between Izzy stans and the rest of the fandom (glad I was oblivious to it ngl). All I know is that I hated Izzy’s guts and wanted him to get his just desert.

So yeah, I wasn’t a fan and I struggled forgiving him when season 2 started because the show was trying so hard to make him sympathetic (which I honestly couldn’t give two shits about at first, I wanted revenge), plus you’re right, Izzy got way too much screen time (which gave Izzy stans ammunitions to say “SEE!! Main character!!!”), but I did end up warming up to him by the time he died. I can even say I genuinely liked him.

BUT the journey to that point was sooo conflicting because some Izzy stans were also doing the absolute most in the main tag, painting Izzy as this angel who never did anything wrong and was terrorized by the monster Ed, and I was like????? Did season 1 happen??? Did I dream the whole season??? Did I watch a version from an alternate universe??? I was BAFFLED. I don't know who is that Izzy they're talking about, but it's not the one on my screen, that's for sure.

Then, Izzy died and the hardcore stans lost their shit (you know what I'm talking about) and they have seriously soured me to Izzy again. I want to like the character we had on screen, and I want to like his redemption arc. He was a great antagonist even if I hated him, and we owed him so much for all the shit he pulled in season 1, but the OTT takes and behaviors from stans I’ve seen have made me give up on him, which sucks. Maybe I’ll feel better about him in a few months, but right now, I can’t stand him, and I’ve blocked his tag everywhere (ao3 included, because, truly, fuck fanon Izzy, fuck him).

Hope it’s not too draining for you though, just writing this felt like screaming into the void, so I can’t imagine dealing with this on the daily. Take care!

hi anon i'm so glad you sent this bc i felt very similarly about izzy in s2. i didn't find him sympathetic at all. i didn't give a single shit that he was suffering from ed being in his kraken era bc he's the entire reason ed ended up like that in the first place. izzy was reaping what he sowed. seeing ed feeling so miserable broke my fucking heart and i can't stand any bullshit takes about 'izzy was protecting the crew from ed's abuse' or 'edizzy invented love confirmed' or whatever other nonsense his stans chose to take away from episodes 1-3.

i truly do not see izzy as a victim. i truly do not see ed as an abuser. sometimes i will start reading a post in the ofmd tag that refers to an 'abuser' and a 'victim' and i get halfway through the post and realise that the op has a completely opposite view of who is who than i do.

and as s2 progressed i just felt worse and worse about it like he was getting so much screentime and popping up all over the place and he'd absorbed a load of traits (from other characters that i'd have rather seen more of) bc the writers had to speedrun making him semi-likeable. i still haven't done a proper rewatch since the finale aired and i'm pretty sure i'll feel different watching it knowing he dies in ep8, but when eps 6-7 dropped i fucking hated every scene he was in and felt like he ruined some otherwise really lovely ed/stede moments like their breakfast in bed. izzy being cheered on for wearing drag and singing - the exact acts that caused him to threaten ed - feels exactly like the very common queer experience of seeing the homophobic kid who bullied you for being queer getting loads of support when they come out themselves.

and the takes that were coming out of the canyon at this time were absolutely wild, especially in relation to ed. people absolutely baying for blood, wanting to see him suffer, wanting his relationship with stede to suffer, wanting him to have to crawl across broken glass to repair his relationship with the crew, all while treating izzy as a protagonist who never did anything wrong.

so ngl i was delighted when he died. but mostly i was relieved that it was going to be over. i walked out of my circus tent with my clown makeup on believing that the canyon would yell for a bit and then slowly quiet down as people who claimed they'd be leaving the fandom if izzy died made good on their promise and fucked off.

and if anything they've got louder and more unhinged and are out here reinventing tjlc and harassing the writers and churning out the most rancid racist posts and writing obituaries that caused multiple people on twt to mistakenly think Actual Human Person con o'neill had died.

and on one hand i'm kind of glad that more people know what they're like now but god i really do feel for any izzy fans who have had their enjoyment of him ruined by the canyon. i really do think it's not the character that's polarising, it's the fandom response, in that most people who come in liking izzy end up either aligning with the canyon or getting so fucking fed up of the canyon that they don't like him anymore. and both of those are a shame tbh because he is very well acted and well written, especially in s1, and i wish i could've enjoyed his scenes and felt the emotional payoff of his death

anyway. sorry for writing you 1 billion words. ily ❤️

[nattyontherun]

Okay. Okay fine! I'll explain (some!) of the YOI IWTV AU :] (no one asked. The one person who asked has been crying and served me divorce papers already. That's alright, I'll win them back. @sugarbunbie haha takemebackplsibegimnothingwithoutyo-- EHM EHM ANYWAYS!!)

So I've been having brainworms. Brainworms in proportions hitherto undreamth of. And those brainworms begin and end with Viktor as Lestat!

Haha. I'm not joking.

If you follow me on AO3, or at least read a few of my latest (very short) fics, you'll be well aware that the reason I've slowed down writing is because my laptop is busted and I've been using my phone to update stuff. Very sad, I know. What I did NOT account for, however, is the utter lack of decorum watching s2 of IWTV would give me, let alone the grand ol' idea of making a YOI AU out of it.

I'm still kinda stuck at the stage where haha, Viktor!Stat.

Anyways seeing as updates are slow and, very likely, I won't dive beyond IWTV s1-2 in terms of plot points (and since it's not a 1:1, at all, I say that with a lot of caveats. Character journey, perchance? Emotionally, rather than physically and actually. Smth smth self actualization for our LouClaudia characters, ehm. As I was saying!!) so I figured I'd make a small Tumblr post the way I did for my NRT threesome AU series ( - which I HAVE NOT DROPPED BTW!!! It's just really long and plotty, and I need an actual writing-specific device to work on it since I need to do more research!!!), just explain a few things that may be lost to the crevices of the AU series.

1. I described the first part of the series, seek me with dead eyes (embody me) as kind of a stand-in for the San Francisco fiasco in 1973, because it's not a proper "interview". I'm debating on keeping it that way for the sake of a more compact story, particularly because I don't plan to delve more into the "DM" of this AU,,,, but I will confirm that the interview with Georgi is the basis for many of the fics that follow, even if Georgi doesn't feature predominantly/at all.

2. Yes, there will be Yuuri and Viktor-centric fics to come. Yuuri's will probably be the last one of the series, and the Viktor fic will be a gift. I'm honestly excited to write it, he's the whole reason I bothered to drag my fingers over my phone keyboard and WORK at this au!!

3. Reiterating that Yuri and Yuuri share the burden of being both Louis and Claudia, for the reason that neither of them could EVER be a 1:1 of either of those characters and to put them in such boxes would be a disservice to all four characters involved lmao.

It's particularly for this reason, plus the fact that I'm not framing Yuri as a "son" for Viktuuri, that the focus of the series has morphed. I still think and want to ensure that the AU remains very much about grief, loss and loneliness - but the heart of it will not be about the horrible death of a child.

Will the fic series be less devastating to account for these changes? Maybe? I'm very inclined towards horror myself, if you've looked into my catalogue more, so I'm not shy about introducing some of the more grotesque, vile shit that happens in IWTV, but I figure if it doesn't serve a purpose in the narrative I'm building, I won't bother with writing it out because, again, I'm using my phone and I have wrist problems djsjsjjdjd.

4. Speaking of: there are plenty more characters in the AU, from YOI, that serve as an amalgam of IWTV characters too! Unlike YuuYu however, they have no counterpart to 'shoulder the burden' so to speak. You'll probably know them when you see them, as they crop up over time. It's especially relevant for Viktor's half of the enfolding story!!

5. I'm honestly just making this Tumblr post because I'm a. Bored and b. Driving myself up the wall with each new revelation I'm making out of this AU. None of which I've put on here, I think, thankfully. Very spoiler-y, that. Hahahahahaha. I wrote much of the very first fic in a mad haze and now I'm rethreading it to write out the plot more, beyond that burst of sudden all encompassing inspiration - and I am absolutely insane. I really am. Feel free to DM me here or on Discord or utilize asks if you're intrigued or wanna toss questions - I will absolutely answer because it's all I'm yapping about for the next forever and ever.

K thanks bye!!!

[arsenicflame]

hi i'm really interested in space lesbians! where are they, who are they? how can i see them? (shows, games, books?) also what are you most excited about in s2 of ofmd?

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

soooooo my space lesbian enthusiasm refers to 3 separate medias!! (it used to say gay space vikings bc that was an even more specific niche buuuut im way more into tihylttw these days s o) one day i am going to make a fuckin venn diagram of my girls because they all have so many similarities. (loki/sigyn and angela/sera are basically the same characters change my mind.)

this is about to get real long bc im unhinged about them <3 10/10 would talk about them all day if the communities were there

our first space lesbians are loki + sigyn from the bifrost incident! TBI is an album by the band the mechanisms which you can find wherever you listen to music (youtube here) its a norse mythology inspired rock/steampunk-esque album and it is SO GOOD- it takes place on a train in SPACE in the format of an incident investigation. its a story so you have to listen to the tracks in order :)

--

next up! this is how you lose the time war- our lesbians in this are called red + blue because we have deconstructed this trope to its most basic format at this point :') its a short book, and you may be familiar with it as it went viral from a trigun fan tweet a few months back. (my url (and sewing blog url) are actually references to a quote from this book!) you can get it wherever you get books and id recc the audiobook if youre into that i am also in possession of the pdf if you wantto try before you buy.

tihylttw is a story told through the exchange of letters between two agents on opposite sides of a war- it usually gets described as enemies to lovers but id personally use rivals as i think it describes them better. the book is known for being incredibly poetic and sometimes pretentious in its writing and i just think its the most beautiful thing ever. lesbians do it better

honestly theres nothing i could say for tihylttw better than it could say for itself, i just adore the universe theyve built and i want to KNOW MORE. i love you and i love you and i want to find out what that means together

--

saving the best for last is my girls angela + sera. the most of all time. nobody compares to them for me. they consume me

angela + sera are from marvel comics and you can find my complete reading list here, but if im talking about them positively, im usually talking about one of the titular Angela comics, and more often than not queen of hel.

honestly i love the angela comics so much that im making myself speechless trying to figure out where to start. Angela falls into the asgard side of marvel comics, though she is a lot more fluid in her affiliations, her whole thing being that she deals in deals- nothing for nothing everything has its price. she is at times described as emotionless and is generally quite a stoic character, especially around strangers. the major exception to this is her wife, sera. seras one of marvels few canon trans characters and i think she is just so wonderfully written. shes witty and cheeky and doesnt take shit from anyone, even when it gets her into trouble- and oh boy does sera find herself in some predicaments! the angela comics are often just as poetic as tihylttw for me, theyll drop an 'as long as you are with me, i am not afraid' and ill need to go smother myself in a pillow for a sec. in QOH they adopt a daughter who is Also a lesbian, shes an alternate version of leah of hel and i ALSO adore her.

im desperately trying to avoid plot points but god. the main arc is 21 issues of smooching Shakespearean space angels what more could you want?

(through sera & angela we get a lot of heven lore and honestly that could be its whole own thing for me im SO fascinated.)

my girls are currently in comic hell, i am praying they will get something good soon 🙏🙏

--

and what am i most excited about for season 2? can i just say izzy? can i just say anne + mary? dude im so ready for some lesbians you have no idea actually you probably have a very good idea if you made it this far down. im incredibly excited to be seeing izzy get a favourable arc this season, im really hoping to see him develop relationships with everyone else, see him grapple with feelings around ed (actually im really hoping he chooses not to forgive ed. for growth) im excited to see whats gonna go down with his leg, im excited to see wtf is going on w ed + stede because i have no idea what the continuity is at the moment, im just excited!!!!!! i honestly dont think theres anything im not excited about everything looks so good so far

[driflew]

beholden outlines and notes

i got a review on beholden yesterday who pointed out its been, yknow, well over a year since i updated the fic. obviously those of you following me here know ive been writing other stuff, and so it shouldn't come as a surprise that im not rlly planning to go back to working on it

why? other than getting into another fandom, i honestly just wasnt really happy w how the fic was turning out. i loved s1, but s2 i just wasnt liking as much. and as much as i was excited for how s2 (and the fic in general) would have ended, i just couldnt get myself to keep working and Get there. besides that, i started beholden on quarantine, and when class/work started up, i simply didnt have the time to write so much. beholden was already 70k. to finish would have probs doubled the length, and that's not time i could dedicate

as such, ive decided to post my outlines/notes for what the rest of beholden Would have been if id ever gotten to finishing it. this is, i guess, my final sendoff for beholden. here's every doc / outline i had guiding my writing of this fic

ill say in advance this fic was a mix of plotting and pantsing, so not everything in the outline is completely fleshed out. but the main beats are there, esp in scenes i was more confident about

...these also weren't meant to be viewed by anyone but me, so they might be sort of confusing/under-explained. il add a bit of commentary/context when i can

first, here's my detail on how the rest of season two would have gone:

NOV 3: Jordan Kennedy statement

toll his Knowing and rereading old statements

talk about Peter! self-isolation as a way to 

1. Ready himself and his friends for his death, by not being too deeply attached, 

2. Keep peter and elias’s attention on him rather than his assistants, 

3. Get peter to agree to yeet any threats into the Lonely, to keep his marks low

Dust to Dust. michael shelley is there. implies jon might have known abt the tapes all along and they could very well be the secret?? 

does this implicate michael in gertrude’s murder

Tim and Martin have an argument at flat while the three of them are listening to tapes. 

Jon has been guiding, but Tim worries he may be guiding Away from the truth (paranoid)

Martin worries Tim is so focused on finding Jon’s secret he’s getting distant from Jon. 

They’ve been listening to tapes at Martin and Tim’s whenever possible. 

martin’s tired of it! hes doing work at home basically, and tim’s kind of erratic now that hes got the idea in his head jon might be a monster. it worries martin too but he knows that even w the shit jon pulls he IS their friend

sasha’s gonna have. Thoughts abt the Michael thing as well, given Michael and Jon clearly have some kind of shared past / understanding

something something… Michael talks about a shared past, Jon about reverting the Change… they both worked with Gertrude…… Gertrude and Jon reverting “the Change”??

but what the fuck is the Change? what “changed”??? why did they need to undo it? why do only they remember it? do they need to prevent it from “changing” again?

could she talk to Michael?

WHERE DID THIS PLOT COME FROM 

Group intervention, 

Martin trying to make them stop being so suspicious of each other. Gearing up for the “if we were all happy would that be so bad” bit

DEC 1: Daisy drops by in place of Basira to give a statement / talk to tim. Jon half avoids this one bc 1, not feeding on a friend, 2, daisy will Kill him if hes noticeably not human (esp since she figured it out thru him changing in her dreams last time)

asks Tim about the nathaniel thorp statement. she wants to see it. 

looked back into the guy. he wasn’t named nathaniel thorp, but its been a long time. she’s not about to rule out a fake name

JAN 7: Tessa Winters 

WHAT HAPPENED IN CANON:

tim and jon argue

martin tells jon to fix shit w tim

not them encounter in the tunnels

talk to elias

JAN 25: Caroline Gorka

Jon takes this one. hungry

jons on his isolation arc

FEB 11: Maxwell Rainer raid

Feb13: Melanie statement 2

Tim bumps into in the library while researching and asks her abt what she’s been researching. she talks abt the notThem, and the table, and the statements Jon has given her copies of. Tim frowns and tell her that they know where the table is, it’s here, why would Jon lie about that… unless…? they decide fuck the library and fuck work and just leave

they do some research into jon’s past. Tim, Melanie, and Georgie go thru Georgie’s old pictures, but she doesnt have any (messy breakup… she got rid of most of it). talk abt the sudden personality change, etc. 

Tim decides that he must have changed. they talk abt how there’s usually someone who can see the difference, and Tim decides that since it isn’t any of them, it must be someone else in the institute. he asks around about what people think Jonathan Sims looks like, and “rosie” pauses before describing a complete stranger. tall, close-cropped hair, broad shoulders. and then this strange short man came in and she assumed they must have fired Sims, since he really wasn’t qualified, and hired some other Jon…

and that’s it. that must be. jon’s dead and this thing replaced him. 

Feb 16: axe to table

Tim calls Daisy, since she has experience killing these things. Melanie and Georgie decide to help—Melanie bc she was researching them, and Georgie bc that was her friend. Basira tags along too. Tim tells Martin and Sasha that they should come w him (without explaining), and to not tell Jon. rosie is more than happy to let them thru to artifact storage.

they all go, Tim explains that Jon is NOT Jon, and he’s going to prove it. then he turns around and puts an axe through the table

Jon shows up and is like. rosie wouldn’t let me in please tell me you didnt break the table. and Tim is like its too late, you bastard Jon-killer! 

chaos. 

dunno how this bit goes BUT 

shouting match in which they both talk abt rosie, and Martin realizes that rosie has been replaced

daisy attacks Jon and he panics, sending her to the Lonely as per the deal w Lukas. thats a problem! but also this fic equivalent of the buried

notRosie attacks, and the rest of them escape. idk how. Jon gets them to the tunnels probably? barricades them in the archvies? they deal w notRosie somehow. 

Jon has to come clean! its time t explain everything!

this might be a separate chapter. end on a cliffhanger and then in the new chapter Jon must explain….

new exposition dump chapter! here’s everything Jon has to explain (or not explain)

he is a time traveller, sort of, having sent his own memories back in time

he knew all of them (and daisy). all of them died. the world ended. he’s here to prevent it

probably toes the line between “it was my fault” and “im on your side.” yes he caused their deaths. no he doesnt want to cause them again. everything he’s done has been to stop those deaths from happening again.

explains he had to hide it because of Elias. probably explains how serious he is about this by explaining how he blinded himself to keep things from Elias and the Eye

…which leads him to explain shit like the Eye, the entities, the rituals, etc. 

which is a great lead-in to the Unknowing!

stresses repeatedly that he’s being honest, he’s telling them a lot and he’s willing to admit everything, but keeps two things to himself: he and Martin dated, and he’s going to kill himself in the Unknowing

...and that would have been s2! i was really excited for the not-Jon thing, but never got to it.

anyway. i also had these two notes at the end of the doc as things to consider in my writing of jon's interactions with Sasha and Tim

“sasha is jon’s favorite, theyre probably comfortable with each other”

“jon’s got stronger memories / more memories of tim hating him than tim being his friend, thats gotta be weird for how he feels about tim”

speaking of Tim, i ALSO have a doc specifically for guiding tim's arc. sasha's arc was mostly me rolling with the punches and working with what i thought she might be able to figure out, but Tim i had the beats planned more directly

TIM PLOT OUTLINE

peter lukas props Isn't human, jon Is helping him

jon is doing other shady shit, helping michael (also not human)

jon is very pointedly guiding them towards the unknowing but not saying what he knows or why

research avatars and learn ppl can lose their humanity / become monsters.

combine melanie's info on ppl replaced, like the notThem

horrible conclusion: on either was human and isn't anymore, or really isn't jon. were they ever even friends with jon?

(worth noting: if Jon truly was replaced when his personality changed, then all their moments of being genuinely close came after that. the person he is close friends with is not Jon. its the thing that killed Jon. the realization he “never actually got to befriend Jon at all” is going to do weird things to his heart, im sure)

(remember the table? tim can compare notes having seen it w melanie, who has been looking into the notThem) (statement info plus it now being revealed

jon is hiding shit from melanie as well) maybe have georgie in here looking for polaroid images or tape recordings of jon from college, which she can't find. no way to confirm he is who he's supposed to be

basira and daisy.…... basira can tell tim and sasha she's sectioned and that daisy believes Jon isn't human

AS FOR THE REST OF THE FIC...

when i started writing beholden, i plotted out the entire fic. i did s1 in detail, and s2 and three in... not a lot of detail. when i started s2, i made a new doc and more detailed outline, which is what i showed above. as i never got to s3, the s3 outline is... not super in-depth. had i made it to s3, i would have fleshed it out more, but alas. anyway, here's what i had:

Everyone knows MOSTLY whats up. 

There needs to be trust building! rights for jonmartin?

Jon plans to kill Elias after the Unknowing. Hes barely human, his friends are okay, and if they destroy the institute after his death, there shouldnt be any danger. In getting htem to trust him he accidentally forgets this means theyll be attached to him and wont Want him to die

elias now has to go on the offensive to get jon marked. Entities jon needs to be marked by still: buried, dark, desolation, end, flesh, hunt, lonely, slaughter, stranger, vast

At some point in this season, they have to find out what Jon’s real plan is 

FEB 17: starts. Does anything need to go here? Jon isnt on the lam. I guess re-bonding. Since most of them thought he was guilty of murder. Less “heres the past i remember” and more direct talk on his actual plan (but vague on how he plans to do the actual killing). can explain that hes not any more human than elias is. Also that they cant just Kill Elias or else it will kill all of them, but jon has a plan (that he cant tell the others, bc elias can read minds! Thats def why he cant tell them the plan)

APRIL 24: jude perry. If Jon wont go to her, Elias probably needs to bring her to Jon… oof. I think Tim is gonna get hurt by the desolation. 

Im putting the confrontation w elias here. Elias probably Knows what Jon is planning (or at least that hes planning to kill Jon, but not how) and Jon demands to know why the others are hurt. Learns Elias doesn need jon alive or to be The Archivist, it can be anyone, and elias isnt afraid to get a second one if he has to

APRIL 28: mike crew

...probably Simon this time, since Elias i think could get him to visit the MI anyway

Also I want to vaporize simon fairchild

Which i guess means jon avatar moments, which i want/need anyway

Unknown date: jon gets kidnapped by the stranger. Helen kills Michael simply bc i like Helen more. i will find real justification for this by the time i get here, probably

Coming back from being kidnapped is rough for jon bc he hasnt Known in a while or relied on his powers too much but, uh, hes starving

Assistants helping jon manage his inhumanity, which is uh… a tense issue, im sure. But theyre more sympathetic bc they like him more and also he did give up his humanity for them. having several anchors will make it all easier to manage

JUNE 29: is in the USA, is kidnapped by Trevor and Julia. Probably gets a Hunt injury here, since hes clearly not human, 

I think the fact jon had to leave the country to do this alone for some reason right now while theyre preparing for the unknowing stuff raises questions. Why cant this wait until after elias is dead??

before the unknowing, Jon records a tape explaining that killing the archivist means everyone else will be freed from the institute, to be listened to after he kills himself in the unknowing. He lists elias’s weakness of being in the panopticon, mentions leitner in the tunnels may be able to lead them. its a goodbye tape, saying sorry for lying about this last thing, and this is sort of his penance for killing them and the world. he can die instead this time, satisfied with saving the rest of them and confident they can finish out the rest of saving the world now that hes helped them survive and given them the tools to take down Elias. fic equivalent of testament, i guess?

AUG 6: plant explosives at the wax museum. They dont actually have to detonate during the unknowing, since the ritual would fail anyway, so? They can probs just blow it up right before while the circus is in the building getting ready, without getting Strange

I think same crew as canon go. Since theyre not waiting for the actual event or anything and are going beforehand, these were the ppl who knew how to set up the bomb and all

Jon plans to tell them he’s on the other side of the building, watching for anything that might come out and escape to kill it. He’ll text tim when hes there and tell tim to detonate. (

Jon actually plans to go inside, sit down w a bomb, and tell tim to detonate w him inside. So he’ll die and they’ll be free to kill elias

(he still wants to give Tim the option to get revenge on the circus, and sort of Still feels like. yknow, if Tim detonated it on him once, it'll be fine to do it again)

(will be fun to have Tim and Jon talk afterwards abt how Tim feels about Jon planning to use Tim to kill himself)

Sasha listens to the tape Jon left, figures out its jon’s suicide note, and calls tim immediately to stop him from detonating. She doesnt listen to the whole thing, just like. enough to hear the tone of jon's voice and Realize. Tim and Basira go in to stop/help Jon

and thats season 3! as i said, not particularly fleshed out. it def needed a lot of work, and besides, i wanted to flesh it out more when i had written more of s1 and s2, since i think its easier to do once you know what's actually on your page. but. didnt happen, clearly.

...you might be looking at these bullets and thinking "wait, wasnt there a bullet point about sending daisy into the lonely at the end of s2? where did that plot go?" and the answer is: it didnt exist when i started plotting the fic, but it was added later. i hadn't yet fleshed it out fully, but it would have worked similarly to pulling daisy out of the buried. i hadn't yet decided when to pull her out or whether the person o do so would be Jon or Basira. Jon would have gone and had a similar moment as the coffin where they bonded over losing their humanity, while Basira it would have been similar to the s5 plot line in which Basira had to take a long hard look at the stuff she allowed daisy to pull (since, yknow, you need to See someone to find them in the Lonely). i hadn't got far enough to figure out the details, tho, but figuring out what to do with daisy was something i found... particularly tricky, considering her character

ANYWAY. in addition to all this, i had, uh, a whopping THREE bullet points for "season four," which was basically rolled into arc three

They need a new plan to kill elias and i have no fucking idea what that plan is

Nvm. gertrude was gonna blow up the institute so thats what jon will do. Hes strong enough to survive and everyone else will be able to w the institute gone

...burn employment contracts? So they dont all die?

...that was all.

another thing i had decided (but not written down) while working on s2, however, that i didnt want to do "season four" and that i wanted to end at the unknowing. my plan was that id figure out what to do when i got closer to the end and had more information on what had transpired in fic. i think my vague plan was essentially "once they find out Jon was going to sacrifice himself they make him Not and do some shit to take the Institute down in that moment, based in the idea of destroying the institute."

one thing i wanted to do what play around with the fact the eye canonically favors Jon over Elias/Jonag and the fact that the lives of the assistants are tied to Jon, and see about burning the institute to weaken jonah further. if Jon was more powerful/favored, perhaps he could supercede jonah's power and thus, when jonah died, the lives of the institute employees could be tied to Jon instead? or something? i wasnt sure, esp w Jon being less favorable/weaker in this fic than canon.

the ending bit i was excited for was the unknowing, and everything that came after was just sort of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.....well! that's everything, i think! not all the way polished, but these were the ideas i had for how beholden would have gone. i also had two scenes half-written for the next chapter, and a random scene of flashbacks written on how the original cast died (written before daisy died in canon). i might post that as well, like, later

if you've read this far, thanks for still being interested in beholden! i cant express enough how grateful i am for all the support i received on this fic, including the fact that im receiving comments on it even now. it was a lot of fun to work on, even if i dont plan on finishing it. i hope seeing my notes, however patchy, helps you get a bit of closure on how this fic would have gone!

and, finally, if you'll allow me to be a bit silly: i love you, Beholden. sorry for never getting around to wrapping you up, but im so proud of you and grateful to you for existing. youre the most writing ive ever done in a single piece, and im thrilled to have you to show for how much i can get done if i really put my mind to it

[galvanizedfriend]

I was just here thinking about how I've been in this fandom for roughly three and a half years now and how it all came to pass and how life is a bitch, you know.

I was just minding my own business, lalala, and then a freaking vampire teen show on the CW decided not to give me my promised endgame, and that made me so ??? indignant ??? I had to start reading and writing fanfiction. And now three and a half years later I'm still here, more obsessed with the pairing than I had ever been while the shows were airing, all because they wouldn't deliver on this basic promise.

I mostly dislike everything that happened to the TVDu after S5 of TVD. Few scenes here, few characters there, whatever. But I didn't enjoy it anymore. It didn't SPARK JOY. And yet I was really chill about it. I see people getting legit mad at showrunners and stuff, and while I understand the feeling, I never really shared that hatred because I was always willing to accept that TVD was just going to be bad. And there's nothing wrong with that! lol I enjoy the bliss of crappy TV. Bad, absurd, nonsensical shows can make for really great entertainment. Not everything has to be Six Feet Under, you know. And when I started watching TVD, I think mid-season 3 was already airing, or maybe s4 was about to start, so I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into, never had any expectations about what a teen drama on the CW was or was not going to deliver. I was chill.

So when it went from bad-but-actually-good to just bad, I was just shrugging, rolling my eyes and going 'ok', because all I wanted was my endgame. That's the only reason I was watching it. I was never drawn to TVD as a whole, the storytelling was never that compelling to me, the world building never truly gripping, and while the first 3 seasons were REALLY good (S2 and 3 are awesome, come on), what kept going back every week was Klaroline. And I figured, even after S4, one day the crossover will happen, they will bring those two back together. There's no way they're just gonna throw this out. I was willing to wait patiently for it. However long it takes.

Not really though, because I ended Marie Kondo-ing the shit out of that and quit TVD on S7 and couldn't make it past the beginning of TO S3, so I dropped both. But every six months I would hop on Google and type 'Klaroline crossover'. Something told me one day it would come. When S5 was finally announced, I felt PEACE, man. I was like YES, FINALLY. I KNEW IT. I felt REWARDED. I EARNED this.

And here's the thing about me: all my ships die. It's just a curse I carry with me that I'm sure I will pass on to my children, and my children's children, and their children after that. The curse of being eternally heartbroken and frustrated over fictional characters. It's awful here, guys. Real life sucks and then THIS, you know. So unfair.

It's so, so rare for me to actually have a ship that gets me INVESTED. Even when I like characters/a show/a pairing, for me to have PERSONAL FEELINGS towards them, it takes mountains moving and planets aligning. And so far, whenever it has happened, someone died. I NEVER got my endgame. EVER. And when I wrapped myself around Klaroline like a snake around a little calf it wants to devour, it was because I, fool that I am, thought there was NO WAY a teen vampire show wasn't going to give me my endgame, especially when they had been hinting at it for YEARS. TVD LITERALLY ends with them saying Klaroline was endgame. I had just had my heart ripped apart by The Good Wife and Homeland. Torchwood, my OG fandom and only other time I ever got into fanfiction, killed my soul. Cowboy Bebop, my baby Yokie ship? Dead. Beautiful, poetic, I fully support it - but also, consider my heart.

I saw these two vampires, VAMPIRES, and I thought: wow, I'm finally safe. It's the BASIC understanding of teen shows that ships need to happen. You don't cheat teenagers, dude. You don't break their hearts. That's just mean. And then when S5 was announced, I knew I had been right all along. I watched that mess and I was like "They have Nazi vampires in this season and Klaus is out there saying shit like 'They hate me because of what I am' [a hybrid, not a mass murderer psycho who's also essentially an asshole *affectionate*], but hey - it'll be fine. Klaroline will be endgame. Nazi vampires don't matter. Klaroline matters."

I was chill, dudes. I was very chill. Compared to how vitriolic people have been about TVD over the years, I was just CHILL.

And then they betrayed me. While I will argue that Klaroline ended up being *the* endgame pairing, since Elijah essentially worked to get Hayley killed (hahahaha dude wtf), and Caroline and Klaus were *it*, as we always knew they would be, I was just... Livid. I could not BELIEVE what those bitches had done to me.

This was me:

They put me through NAZI VAMPIRES, YOU GUYS. Klaus was like 'Oh no, they are killing wolves, because they are LIKE ME' when he basically spends his entire TVDu career HATING and KILLING wolves himself. And it was all for NOTHING.

I can take shows like The Good Wife killing my ships. I was destroyed, but I can take it, because shows like TGW aim to be 'superior drama'. They are going for the awards. I don't feel cheated by them. But The Vampire Diaries? Are you effing kidding me?

I had been watching TVD for years before that fateful day in August 2018 when Klaus turns to glittery dust without having ever felt like reading fanfiction. But I remember I finished that episode, got my computer, and went straight to AO3. From the ashes of my indignation, an urge was born. And I've been here ever since.

I wasn't even asking for a *good* finale. I had long abandoned any notion that this show, which featured Nazi vamps and a snowflake baby that grows up to kill the mom who basically raised her all by herself, was going to give me *good*. I just wanted it to BE, period. All I wanted was to collect my fan service and be done with it. I'm easy to please, I'd be happy. If they'd given me that, I would probably not be here right now. AND YET.

Why am I writing all this? I have no idea. I was just thinking about it. Life, huh? Just as pointless as this post.

[amtrak12]

Long rambles about my current fic project because I’m too excited but I promise it will be horrifically boring for all who follow me unless you also happen to like reading Lucifer fic so I’m putting it behind a cut.

Okay so I'm that person who actually loved S6 and the finale but who also loves reading all the alternate 'Lucifer stays and gets to raise Rory' takes that fic writers put out because, while I don't want kids in real life, I am such a sucker for a good baby!fic. I'm also a HUGE sucker for time travel shenanigans so all the 'Rory time travels to a different season' fics are mmm *chef's kiss* delicious. Right up my alley.

Time travel shenanigans are also right up my writing alley. So, if I was going to use Rory to change any season of the show, it would 1000% be season 3. I abhor season 3. It was so uneven. It doesn't flow from season 2. The timeline was inconsistent from episode to episode making it hard to follow the main arc. Cain is arguably the MOST boring antagonist of the series and yet he was also supposed to be sympathetic at times???? I HATE HIM!

(also his curse doesn't make any sense. Is he really the only person in the history of humanity to not feel guilty for his actions? THE ONLY ONE? That doesn't make any sense! YOU DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!)

Anyway, I have tried multiple ideas to shift the events of S3 but my favorites just weren't working out so I let myself play with an idea someone else did in a fic: time travelling TODDLER Rory. The original fic writer dropped her in S4 right after Lucifer learned about Chloe's plot to permanently banish him to hell -- so you know, the absolute perfect time to drop their toddler daughter from the future on them. It was AMAZING. That fic took me for all I'm worth and then some. I'M IN LOVE.

So I thought, time travelling toddler fic, what a perfect treat to give my brain instead of beating my head against the wall. Except when I dropped a toddler Rory halfway into S3... it worked? Like the entire plot just ran through my head, one event after the other, and the emotions were delicious, but not as delicious as the ones that came after the goodbye to Rory. The fic is done, Rory's gone home, but the GRIEF my friends, THE GRIEF!!!!! Like can you imagine? 'Hey here's your daughter. No she hasn't been born yet but you don't mind, right? Great.' *two months later* 'Okay time for her to go back to her own timeline now. Say bye Mommy! Bye Daddy! See you in two seconds for her and SEVERAL YEARS for you' like ????? Heartbreaking. Just absolutely gutting stuff and I must write about Lucifer and Chloe navigating that. Especially because they're not even in a real romantic relationship yet when Rory goes home? They're full coparents and have recovered their S2 'dancing on the line of a relationship' but they haven't actually crossed that line yet. Then the adorable creature tying them together is just.. gone. She's just gone. Now what are they supposed to do?

(Also my god, the pressure knowing the future would put on you. Like, hey we know we're going to have a daughter before we even start a relationship. How awkward is that? So weird. So delicious to explore too.)

And then of course after the time travel and after the grief, you have to change the timeline right? Like sure, sure you showed Rory triumphantly returning home to her family in the epilogue of book 1. The reader knows they changed the timeline and Lucifer stays. But S3 Lucifer didn't believe the timeline would change when Rory left. S4 Lucifer didn't believe it would change either even as he and Chloe figured out how to have a relationship with each other. So OBVIOUSLY we need a third one to finish the story out. And OBVIOUSLY -- given that toddler Rory accidentally invented time travel because Trixie was sad about her daddy and Rory was determined to go to heaven and bring him back for the 'best big sister ever' -- we show Lucifer moving from 'I'm destined to abandon my daughter :(' to 'oh shit we actually can change the future! I can stay! :D'.... by allowing them to save Dan.

Now, I didn't know if they would save Dan or not. I know it's fic, but I still worried it would feel cheap if I let the *entire* future get rewritten. But if it's a plot device, it's not cheap. It's just smoirt. *taps side of head* Also it would still have to be a close call so that they know they've changed the future. They need to know they've changed the moment that Dan died in Rory's original timeline.

(Also also, since they don't know how Dan died in the original timeline, I get to write things like Maze stalking Dan 24/7 as a protection detail and Dan finally catching her and being like WTF are you doing? It's gr8. I'm totally normal about this trilogy. I promise.)

(Also also despite my main rants about Cain -- he lives in this trilogy? And goes to jail for the Sinnerman crimes/murdering Charlotte instead? But I've also changed his curse to being tied to Abel's guilt instead of his own. It was my spouse's idea to make it God's response to 'am I a brother-keeper?' like yes. Yes you are Cain. And now you don't get Heaven until your brother does. AND this means I get to have Eve interact with her son which would be both interesting and useful because Cain can tell Eve about Chloe being a gift and then Eve can tell Chloe because 1) it would drive a wedge between Lucifer and Chloe and 2) Eve can relate to being created for someone else and thinks it's kind of shit that Chloe doesn't even know she was created but mostly 3) it would drive a wedge between Lucifer and Chloe so Eve can get closer to Lucifer again. \0/)

(I love my girl. She's such a shit-stirrer when she's got that tunnel-vision on. <3)

Um, so yeah. That's what I'm working on. What are YOU working on? Are you also being completely normal about a story idea? :P

[ravenadottir]

hey there, i'm the anon that ask your opinion on Will and Thabi. first off, thank you for reassuring me that what i'm trying wasn't bad and that my english was okay! it's nice to hear someone say it instead of mocking me for it. so uh, <3.

but i'll get to the reason i'm making this ask. unfortunately THABI's character is ruined (for me at least). In the first volume (they changed the format for s4 from episodes to volumes, not sure if you know so i'm just telling this), THABI says that she has a crush on WILL and that she was planning on coupling up with him. the MC has the option to give a heads up to her about picking Will on recoupling. which i thought was a nice because i wanted to be upfront and honest, also because i wanted to befriend her!

so after coupling up with WILL, MC was given the greatest time of her life before the guy she coupled up with made her look like a clown on national tv. if I remember correctly, he broke up with MC on the day of the recoupling and the way he broke things off made me feel like utter shit. the way he said it lowkey hurts me, he made it sounded like he rather die than getting picked by MC. i would show you the scene, but that means replaying the whole season again and i just don't want to do that.

Maybe i'm just butthurt, but he really made me feel some type of way by treating MC so nicely and telling her that they were a great couple. I hate the fact he had to breakup with MC on the day of the recoupling after reassuring her they were great together. It felt like a punch to the face really.

later on, you can tell THABI about this and she sorta comforted you? but then when the recoupling rolls in, she's smiling when WILL picked her as if she forgot that MC told her how upset she was that he broke up with her. not only that, she also talks a lot about him the next day and it just feels like she's rubbing it in my face.

she reminded me of HANNAH from s2 and instantly like her! seriously wanted to be her friend, but damn does she make me feel so heartbroken. the only one who genuinely cares for MC right now probably has to be ANGIE, a chill girl. but i think they might just make her into another LI.

nothing wrong with it, just wished i can have a genuine friendship in the villa sometimes.

being a bilingual myself (and english is not my first language) i can assure you, WE DON'T ALLOW MOCKERY OF ANY SORT IN THIS HOUSE (unless it's about jakub, felix, jo and blake)!

so, i got the same impression about thabi. and i was really happy to see a black girl portrayed and made to be soft and nerdy because we never get to see it!

it's something that never crosses their minds and i was glad thabi was someone like that. but now that you're pointing it out she might be changing her ways i'm upset again.

i hope it doesn't turn into erikah 3.0, given hope was the 2.0. just one season where the genuine person stays that way instead of gaslight gatekeep girlboss would be nice.

that goes to all characters. yes, we need a villain, and yes we need people that might not like mc but for fuck's sake, NO ONE?

not even one soul that cares about us?

a genuine friend that would help out, listen and give advice? like, can't we just have a normal season for a change?? actual human attitude and genuine connections???

i don't think it's a lot to ask!

this is the one thing that becomes so distracting when seasons 3 and 4 dropped: everything is so tremendously bad it feels like we were dropped on an episode of riverdale!

bad dialogues, bad dynamics, barely anything to hold on to that isn't looks, zero personality, zero banter or witty responses, cringey lines, no interesting developments or even drama... LIKE-

WHEN DOES IT STOP???

i'm not asking for an epic romance with rhyming and metrics that would make e.e cummings cry, my guy... i'm asking for the bare minimum!

no characters (apart from angie apparently) really make sense in the entire season so... yeah!

[winter-came]

I would like to hear your opinions on vanya :’)

This was like an omen, dropping into my inbox. You want me to burn? You shall have it.

I didn’t prepare for this, so these are things I can think of right now.

First of all, and this is more of an issue of fandom than Vanya herself. But Vanya Hargreeves is bisexual and I am sick and tired of the erasement. Just because she dated an abusive manipulative dick doesn’t mean it was not affection/love! She dated a man in S1 AND a woman in S2 and both relationships were valid! Because guess what...it’s called bisexuality. Someone once tagged under my post that Vanya is lesbian and I’ve been pissed about it since then. Go on, block me.

Now, if you are still reading.

1. Vanya is NOT an innocent cinnamon bun that has to be protected and has small anger issues where she blows up the moon. OH NO. Vanya, before she got sedated by Reggie, was the most savage and feral one of the bunch. Or at least she had GREAT potential for it. Mrs. Vanya “I’m not in the mood for training, so I will blow these glasses everywhere.” & “I don’t wanna eat this breakfast so I will kill multiple nannies without blink of an eye until my father is forced to build up A ROBOT in order to make me eat breakfast.” Vanya was always dangerous and capable. [don’t come for me with the argument “she was a child.” So was Ben and had a monster inside of him and he was good. This was a temper of character.]

Reginald was horrible and a bitch [ I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM] but he knew what he was doing by stopping her from developing her powers. By all means, it was the shittiest way he could manage to do so but what he didn’t do in shittiest possible way?

And if you wanna excuse child Vanya, fine, let’s look at grown up Vanya.

Grown Vanya chose violence and utter savagery on two occasions. [I am not even gonna mention that accident with Allison, because yes, it was an accident but we all somehow forgave and forgot. Also who of them did not seriously harm or kill someone?]. However, let’s look at Leonard and Pogo. She killed them, fully conscious of what she was doing, in a brutal manner. That wasn’t poor moody child Vanya. That wasn’t sedated and overlooked Vanya. That was what Vanya has inside of her. Savagery, danger, brutality.

She is a complex character with flaws and sharp edges. But I feel that all fandom sees is “poor Vanya who was never loved and was treated like shit.” AND? You don’t get to kill people and blow up fucking Moon just because you were not loved. [I know I said I would blow up Moon if I got betrayed by Leonard like she did, BUT STILL?!]

She is not the sweetheart fandom pretends her to be.

2. I have a huge ass problem with her arc in S2.

What especially doesn’t sit with me is how she treats Five. She apologized to Diego without even knowing what she did. She never said A THING to Five [wasn’t it her after all who caused the wasteland where he got stuck?] Weren’t they supposed to be closest as kids? The way she left him in the streets after Luther told her she blew up the moon [again, something Five spared her of]. The way she was ready to fight him over taking Sissy with them. If she was so kind and innocent and sweet as her stans paint her, would she do any of that? I don’t think so.

I could excuse her while she didn’t remember. But after her memories came back? She bonded with Diego [“She is liability” & “Had enough material for your sequel yet?”] but DID NOT EVEN TALK TO FIVE??? Please, the fuck does that mean? Bullshit on her side.

3. And let’s talk about that book she published. On one hand, “ballsy” to expose her family like that. Good for her. I get it, spite and bitterness are my main motivators too. BUT the secrets she spilled weren’t just hers. Other SIX people [Reginald not even included cause he is dick] were included. Their traumas, their secrets, their fears, their childhood, their actions, their good memories and the bad ones. Everything they were and been through, was given to the world without their permission. Again, if she was such a sweetheart, would she do that? AND SHE HAD THE AUDACITY to throw puppy eyes on them for being pissed off with her. As if they were the ones who exposed her.

I would be absolutely angry with her for it. Because she had NO RIGHT to do so. Ya, go off, expose Reginald. But her siblings deserved to have at least SAYING into it [Steve from Haunting of the Hill House is an example → similar vibe].

Horrible things happened to her, without a doubt. She deserves better. Baby Vanya deserved better. BUT let’s not pretend she is a sweet angel who made a small mistake and has to be treated with gloves. You all were so keen to ride Luther to ground for locking her up but you did not blink once when she killed Pogo. You all called out Diego for trying to save Kennedy but you did not say a word about her being adamant bringing Sissy and Harlan with them. You don’t have the same measure on Vanya as you have with others.

I am not HATING her, but she would end up in last place if I had to choose. Precisely for her hypocrisy and blind attitude and playing victim. Parents fuck you up, you don’t get to fuck up others. And pretend you didn’t.

[And don’t even try to bring Five into this [because I am known stan]. Unlike some of you with Vanya, I fully acknowledge both the good and bad sides of him. What he had done, what he is like. I am not an apologist for him nor am I blindly excusing him and putting him on pedestal where he does not belong. Some of you however bathe Vanya in the sun she does not deserve.]

Now, I will escort myself off premises before you all burn me alive. But please, put your opinions under the post or in tags, I would love to read it!.

[zainclaw]

hmmm talk to us about both eddies and bucks ptsd and how it manifests differently? like you can take this as the s4 finale happenings or just generally✨

Okay so I just wanna make it clear that I'm obviously not a PSTD expert, and I never claimed to be. I’m sure not everyone diagnosed with this disorder has the exact same experience, so I can only reflect on my own.

And Eddie is definitely the one I can relate to the most? (Even before the s4 shooting, even before this new s5 clip of him collapsing - even though both those things only make me relate to him all the more. I’ll add on that later.)

Mostly because of the numbness I experienced in the years directly following my trauma. I was told it was a defense mechanism, my brain not wanting me to feel the bad things, so it just didn’t let me feel anything at all. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t happy. There was just... nothing. For two years I didn’t really smile? And I didn’t even take note of that at the time - it was my mom who told me, later on. And I always saw Eddie as someone who’d experience the same thing? After he came back from Afghanistan, and in the immediate aftermath of Shannon walking out on him and Christopher. For a few years, leading up to him moving to LA, I can see him struggling to feel anything at all. And then emotions slowly, slowly returned to him, mainly thanks to his son.

(I know it’s canon that Eddie’s dad used to tell him to ‘suck it up’ as well as Eddie expressing he needs to stay in control for Christopher, as an explanation to why we don’t see him getting overly emotional too often, but I don’t think those things shatter my headcanon. These things can co-exist.)

So let’s talk about flashbacks. The way Eddie falls to the floor in that s5 promo clip, looking so fucking similar to when he was shot in the street last season, just reminds me of my own ‘flashbacks’ I had in the direct aftermath of the trauma. (They stopped happening over time.) I had bodily harm done to me, and during those ‘flashbacks’ my body would react as if it was happening all over again. It just completely hijacks your body. And that’s what Eddie’s fall in that promo looks like to me. His brain just being so fucking convinced that he’s in that street getting shot again, tricking him that he’s feeling the bullet again, the force and pain knocking him over just like back then.

(I don’t really like using the word ‘flashback’ here because, for me, it’s a physical thing just as much as it is mental. And, idk, but ‘flashback’ sounds like it’s just something happening inside your head.)

That one clip has just given me so much hope? I’m so tired of writers giving their characters PTSD as nothing more but a plot device. A terribly inconsistent one, most of the time. They want their characters to have been through shit, and for that to affect them, but only sometimes. Only when it fits the plot. They only want their badass war veteran character to be triggered when it’ll make for a cool story, but the rest of the time said character is gonna act as someone who’s got no triggers at all. You know what I mean?

So many shows do this. 911 does this. Buck (and Christopher) most likely would have developed a fear of water after the tsunami. Chimney most likely would’ve been hesitant to get in a car again after his car accident. Bobby probably should be triggered by the people drinking alcohol around him throughout the seasons. Eddie should’ve found fireworks a little unsettling after returning from war.

These things could’ve still happened “off-screen”, sure. And I love how this is explored in fics. (Buck being scared of water post-tsunami, as well as him being hesitant around the ladder truck post-s2. Which only adds to him crawling under the firetruck to save Eddie in 4x14. Wow.) But it’s not shown in canon.

The only time the writers actually seem to remember that their characters should be triggered by their past trauma is what they did with Maddie; her not wanting a Christmas tree because it brought her back to a terrifying Christmas with Doug, as well as her freaking out when she dropped a plate like she thought Chimney was gonna hit her like Doug did. I was so happy they actually took her trauma seriously. But, yeah, for the most part... I feel like they’ve mostly forgotten about a lot of the other characters’ trauma.

And like I said in my original post about this, I’m not the slightest surprised by this anymore. I never expect a show to actually care enough to write a character with PTSD that I’ll be able to see myself in fully. But yeah whoops now I have hope for them actually giving us what we want with Eddie this season, and I’m both scared and excited to see what they’re gonna do.

...this got quite personal. Sorry about that. And I guess I talked mostly about Eddie, not so much about Buck. I hope you don’t mind <3

[mego42]

What are some of your favorite GG song Moments. ? Here are some of mine.

1. Easy ft lorde- OMG this soong is such a bop. it just fits the scene so well. HONESTLY one of my fav scenes. HE IS LIVING HIS BEST LIFE IN THIS SCENE. I LOVE CHAOTIC RIO

2. Wild heart by SPELLES.- THIS SONG IS SO HAUNTING just fits the vibe so well. SO ANGSTY

3. The most recent song. Used in that Brio moment. Idk what its called . I know that Beth is having the time of her life but that song is just HEAVY. The lyrics 🙏😭😭❤❤❤ such a pretty song fr 😔

omg anon i love this question nearly as much as i love your taste. YES!!!! to Easy (i too love tf out of personification of chaos rio), YES!!!!! to Wild Heart!!!!  it’s SO HAUNTING and disorienting and PERFECT. and Y E S !!!!!!!!!!!!! to the most recent song (whole life by perfume genius). i am LIVING for the heavy ballad vibes, super agree it’s so pretty. 

in no particular order, my top 5 music moments:

blanket me / hundred waters

1x09 - beth makes the calendar laying out her kids future in case something happens to her

i’ve already exposed myself as an absolute loon when it comes to this song and you can read the whole breakdown here

but tl;dr it’s a song about relying too much on a person and needing to break free and be independent but not in a toxic sort of way, more in a for personal growth and the best for everyone because co-dependence holds everyone back and i really, really, really love that in context of beth and her children, her learning to step back and not smother them but also not give so much of herself that she disappears entirely because that’s not good for them in the long run

basically it’s sort of a thesis statement for beth’s underlying s1 arc

plus it’s just like, heavy and haunting and absolutely gorgeous and not to be like, unreasonably pretentious, moves me and i love it

notable lyrics: You're my blanket, you're my skin / You're everything within / You're my guardian, I'm your sail / A boat in your harbor / Gone under, capsized and sinking / Blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me

-

whole life / perfume genius

4x06 - beth looking for a place to hide the wire/hooking up with rio

the song is all about leaving behind the things weighing you down and moving into a brighter, more free future and i love love love how that plays with the duality of beth hiding the wire and securing her source of information for the secret service BUT ALSO marking this moment as a turning point for beth and rio because it absolutely is.

(like not just the fact that they’ve resumed a physical relationship but rio’s invited beth deeper into his world and we’re seeing beth crack on a level we really haven’t before)

this season is leaning SO HARD into duality and the tangled up truths and lies between them and i am absolutely UNHINGED over it

i also really love the like, passionate ballad nature of it juxtaposed over this twisted, extremely sexy moment (intercut with dean joyfully trying to seize hold of his new hobby only to be IMMEDIATELY denied)

there are just so many layers to it and i love all of them

notable lyrics: The mark where he left me / A clip on my wing / Oh, let it soften / I forgive everything

-

ocean rain / echo & the bunnymen

4x04 - the beth and jane/rio getting the drop on fitz montage

the whole theme of this song is two people tearing each other apart and destroying the bones of their former intimacy which like, hello subject matter aptitude and it’s told through this GLORIOUSLY dramatic hurricane at sea imagery with ships being dragged below the waves by the hurricanes the two people have called down on each other set to a gorgeous over the top orchestral score

on a yrical note, i love that the song is basically the same verse over and over (interspersed with the chorus, obvs) and the only change is me vs you when it comes to who brought the storm down on them

basically, if you were challenged to come up with a song that represented two peak dramatique heaux nightmare factories locked in a never ending game of deadly cat and mouse, you couldn’t top this.

i am ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with the choice to pair it with a montage of beth finally pulling the trigger (with foresight and intent, shooting rio was p obvs a oh shit look what i did moment), a milestone rio’s been dragging her (down) towards since the beginning of s2 AND using him to do it, dragging him (down) into her mess (m ade all the more messy when you consider he was the target of it) (i just! love it! so! much!)

i want to live in johnathan leahy’s brain

notable lyrics: all at sea again / and now my[your] hurricanes have brought down this ocean rain / to bathe me again / my ship’s a-sail / can you hear it’s tender frame / screaming from beneath the waves / screaming from beneath the waves

-

el musgo / gabriel bruce

3x04 - rio watches beth make money

UGH GOD when that high hat and bass kicked in the first time i was like oh shit we are in for some DRAMA and sure enough we were as well as a more sexual montage than anything you’d find in actual porn.

idk, the fact that they chose this deep, dark, mournful about lost love to an elongated montage slow motion montage of rio watching beth make fake cash and deciding not to kill her for nearly killing him doEs stuFf to me

all i’m saying is johnathan leahy ships brio harder than any of us and is a more dramatique heaux than either of them, which are two really impressive feats to achieve

AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!! they CHOPPED THE SONG UP!!!!! so they were able to take advantage of the dawning drama of the opening bars BUT ALSO include the closing stanza about wearing the marks the subject of the song gave the singer like a scar where they took his heart from him and the INTENTIONALITY of that creative choice puts me on the FLOOR

LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notable lyrics: I'll wear this mark like a medal / But it's a scar / Where you took my heart from me

-

kimono hill / sophia kennedy

3x01 - rio leaves the hotel

honeslty, lowkey surprised this one made my top five. not because it isn’t a fabulous song deployed with johnathan leahy’s usual mastery, but bc i didn’t realize how much i loved it until making this list

i don’t really have like, a deep, lyrically rooted storytelling reason for loving it, i just think the way they used it in the show is Such A Vibe

the way the vibrating synthy tones and underlying organ kicks in while rio’s getting in the elevator has this beautiful held breath anticipatory quality to it that works SO WELL to set up the montage of rio strutting out back into his life while turner gets murdered (a scene i have some uh, complicated feelings about but setting those aside), and the bolands’ fresh start to the tune of bouncy drums and looping vocals

idk it’s such a shining note to end the first episode of a new season on, i remember feeling refreshed and super hype for what’s to come

notable lyrics: no lyrics, just the vibe of the opening bars

tl;dr i really, really, REALLY love how this show uses music. you can tell they put a lot of time and effort and thought into it and while i know the trajectory isn’t working for everyone, personally i love it. granted, as you can see from this list, i clearly love the shit out of a down tempo dramatic ballad, so. if you are more of a bangers and bops person, i would point you to @nickmillerscaulk’s inbox as she is a Certified Bangers Afficianado.

[jonroxton]

can you talk about chlark beyond chloe? personally i think it's weird that the writers kept adding kisses and weird romantic moments without any pay off. i don't know much about the fandom back then but i think the writers were baiting fans since clark/chloe seems to be the second most popular ship after clex. second i personally think chloe would never be happy with clark or anyone tbh and she doesn't seem like the type of person who would have kids so the finale was weird to me.

this got looooong :)

0. it WAS weird, and the choice to never not once go for it with them was to the story's detriment. I'll get into it a little later on in this post.

Re: shipping in sv fandom. there was definitely drama (clana was HUGE when the show was airing and every ship was basically derailed by it lol) but I stayed in my clois lane with a small circle of fandom friends much like I do now. a good measure of clois fans were fans of lois and clark from other mediums, come to sv just for lois and clark, myself included. we were pretty insulated as a fandom even back then. I do remember seeing more Chlark after the S5 finale (when Chloe kisses him goodbye), but those dropped off after Jimmy was introduced right away in S6. The most drama I encountered was with Chloisers: Chloe fans who believed wholeheartedly that Chloe was Lois. They hated SV!Lois and were convinced she would die so Chloe could take her name and job and place by Clark's side, thus a Chlark endgame. this was a popular theory amongst that fandom even into s9, when the clois ball started to roll for true.

bait and switch

a lot of Chlark is rooted in this notion that chloe WOULD be the best thing for Clark, the ideal Lois, the true best friend, the human hand guiding him through Earth's troubles. she would be could be the BEST possible lois archetype for Clark. it's not a wrong interpretation. she was specifically written as a lois-and-lana-proxy (teenage lana is a reporter in some AUs and even some as an adult as a tv correspondent) and she's given many lois-ish traits (tenacious, secretly crushing on clark and in denial), but this interpretation is deeply flawed. first, because lois does eventually enter into the picture and she has her own defining traits that, when compared to chloe, make chloe seem much shallower than realized. secondly, within the complete context of the story, her position in the greater narrative is not as ~the one who got away, the way it did very early on in S1-S4, but one who clark tolerates.

they're friends because clark is forgiving and chloe has staying power. their friendship is riddled with insecurities and unknowns the characters create for themselves. their dynamic is defined by conflict, not resolutions. this is not made easy by the fact that chloe is such a strangely written character, but ultimately she is positioned as a counter to clark achieving his happiness. not a thematic narrative foil but an obstacle clark eventually relents to.

2. and it has been so from the get-go

S1 is the best season for them and the single season which actually considers Clark's side in this dynamic. everything about them later on can be explained with how they are in this season. and that's the problem. when they're 14 it's nice teen angst drama and works perfectly to establish the dynamic. when they're 24 it's at best a pattern, at worst regression. we expect certain behaviors, dismiss them too, when it's children, at least I do. clark and chloe never move beyond the dynamic they establish in s1 and early s2. in essence, clark and chloe remain children around each other. they have many discussions in the later seasons that make at least one appear petulant.

so S1 clark has just been told the greatest secret of his existence and he imprints on lana hard that same night (right AFTER jonathan tells him, he meets lana at the graveyard and talks to her for the first time EVER, a lot of childhood imprinting going on in SV). all of s1 follows clark's heartache over lana, watching her from afar and figuring out a way to be near her. this pain is exacerbated by the fact that he believes he caused her her greatest grief: the death of her parents via the meteor shower which he arrived in.

here the first beat of the chlark dynamic is established: chloe's job and passion – the wall of weird and her pursuing the meteor infected oddities of SV - directly affects clark in a negative way (he's suicidal for much of s1-s3). so her crush on him is countered with her unknowingly causing him great grief. om top of that: clark becomes part of this passion of hers and she eventually begins to pursue him as a story to be uncovered, very superman yes. here tho, it causes nothing but strife for them and paints chloe in an awful light (and clark too, highlighting his refusal to open up). I personally enjoy this aspect of them in s1. bc they're so young I give em a free pass and it's a good conflict playing around with old superman tropes, but it makes for a fraught friendship.

3. the second beat

is that neither chloe's crush on clark, nor his asking her to stop pursuing his truth, do anything to stay her. her tenaciousness becomes intrusiveness and inconsideration (many of her accomplishments irt the daily planet are directly bc she betrays clark). she simply will not listen to her friend and does not believe his livelihood and autonomy is worth losing a story over. this is literally the opposite of comics/live action lois lane, who in various versions drops the clark reveal story to protect him. this passion turns vindictive pretty early for chloe, who eventually pursues stories about clark out of jealousy and entitlement (against lana also).

4. the third beat

is that clark doesn't ever see chloe as romantic prospect except this time in s1. the tornado trapping lana pulls him away from any solidifying of the clark/chloe dynamic, and that's that. but we know clark was willing to go for it in early s2 when he apologizes to chloe about running off on her. it's chloe who decides not to go on with the relationship. clark is visibly confused, but also 15 so he can't see that chloe is putting on a brave front to protect herself from clark running off again. I liked this too as it's another play on superman tropes, but my sympathy for them stops here.

5. and stays here

these beats are the entirety of this dynamic. everything about chlark can be distilled down to their childhood. it's why I don't hate them completely, bc I have a lot of love for kids who hurt in such a way and that time is never easy. in s8 (I think its s8) when we get a flashback to when they meet as kids (more imprinting!). little tenacious cute chloe kisses insecure clark bc of the funny awkward tension, acknowledging it, and then immediately takes it back because they're better as friends. (also they’re like 11 lol)

every single romantic moment with them is undercut either by chloe herself, or by the presence of other storylines/romances the writers wanted to pursue. the lack of integrity in chloe and the lack of interest in clark, regardless of how sincere their connection or how messed up, is a central part of their dynamic that needs to be reconciled with their friendship. and its exhausting bc there is never a point they are ever truly comfortable around each other.

6. to a fault

knowing the secret doesn't change chloe's methods. it doesn't make chloe clark's great confidante. if anything, it complicates matters for both because their relationship then becomes about the greater good and clark's great destiny. everything chloe does becomes about that, which in theory sounds awesome, but is executed much the same way as s1!chlark: by reiterating behaviors that highlight the negative aspects of that loyalty and the negative aspects of their characters.

the single time they do actively examine what this loyalty means and how chloe's hero complex complicates things for chlark is with s8 and davis. she protects davis with the skills of subterfuge and secrecy she developed as clark's friend. and it costs her jimmy and a lot of her personal integrity as a character. tho ironically it makes chloe the strongest she's been as a character. this is the first time clark is forced to view chloe as an enemy and he never quite recovers from discovering the dark depths she’s willing to go to. 

it's an arc dealing with the established beats: how far chloe is willing to go for a kryptonian (very far), how much she's willing to do for him (A LOT and all of it illegal), and what it costs her (jimmy). it deals with her jealousy (always second choice) and her motivations (uncovering the truth). this great want that she struggled with for years is turned on its head and examined, revealing just how weird and dark her hero complex is because obviously davis is not clark. davis/chloe served to highlight more than any other arc how it's really too bad that clark never saw her that way, because she has so much love to give and when channeled, it's a great force. only it's a great force for evil. clark has to confront that it’s not just lex but his other closest friend who is willing to go so far. they backtrack hard in s9 and s10 but they keep this underlying wariness in clark towards Chloe throughout. it’s not anything new, but it’s no longer subtext that clark doesn’t fully trust chloe.

7. And that's the rub

in the end. chloe and clark have many storylines they're in together and chloe's important.... to develop clark and as a counter to clark. clark never instigates anything, not once, for 9 years! when the show did give us Moments TM, clark is reacting, not actively making choices to connect to her. if anything, clark is incredibly awkward about chloe when they become intimate. he doesn't seem to know what to do with her crushing on him (the elevator scene is a great one to show just how awkward chloe makes him feel). more than that. clark never tells her his secret. and later on, chloe doesn't tell him half the crazy wild shit she does to protect him bc she knows he would disapprove. I still hold that the only reason they work is bc clark is a forgiving character and would give her chance after chance after chance. that's the watsonian explanation, but the doylist explanation is that the writers just never cared to explore them beyond this point.

8. and what was beyond that point?

they would've been a great counter to lexana in S6 and early clana (clark finally having a gf who knows). it’s playing the clark/Chloe as a straight lois/clark proxy before actually pursuing lois and clark. it could’ve been the precursor to davis and caused an even more personal conflict! the kiss at the end of s5 was their chance. they could've written chlark devolving much the same way lexana did in s6 (or not). but again. the writers never went that far and clearly never wanted to. it kept chlark forever in this stage of childhood friendship always on the brink of collapsing, tittering either way. it's also tough to speculate bc clark's just not into her. in fact he becomes more and more wary of her, to the point where he believes she can do horrible things, and he's right. the stories continually make their methods complete opposite.

they go out of their way to show chloe realizing how happy clark is with lois. and even play a joke on the fandom by literally turning her into lois and seeing the sparks between her friends. it's almost... cruel but it does serve to show how clark is when he's smitten and he's never looked at chloe that way except during the dance when they were kids. other unrequited dynamics have at least some spark from the desired, but nil from clark. clark is into chloe in late s1, but she shuts him down, and when he seems to be into her again (damn that s5 kiss was a good one lol), she shuts him down again. it's just a weird writing choice all around, and that they kept nuggets of it throughout the show is the thing I cringe at most whenever I rewatch.

9. bait and switch 2

with hindsight it is definitely ship baiting and that sucks for that dynamic bc without it their friendship would’ve been the stronger, or at least not full of so much negativity. all it did was remind everyone that chloe’s been duped since she was a kid and that clark is both stupid and strange for never noticing and letting her get away with shit just bc she’s the most loyal. I don’t ship them and even I get frustrated lol