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sunnypogue · 5 years ago

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college rafe gets jealous (blurb)

lil bit of jealous rafe per anon request

college!rafe verse bc why the f00k not

note - jealous/possessive boyfriends usually are not the bizzzzz...not trying to romanticize any toxic traits, but hopefully you can sense a bit of growth from mr. cameron here.

(warning: nsfw-ish, possessive!rafe)

you’re sippin’ on bud from the bottle, chatting with your friend michelle & her boyfriend tyler, when he walks up.

it’s one of tyler’s pi kapp fraternity brothers, notorious for getting too drunk & a little too friendly - it looked like tonight would be no different, as he clasped your bare shoulders with his hands.

“wooo!” he yelled over the thumping base of the bar’s music. “I fucking LOVE game day!”

unc had destroyed florida state in a basketball game earlier that evening, resulting in a rather chaotic post-game celebration at the local bar. you, having worked the game, only got to the bar 15 minutes ago, playing catch up with your significantly more drunk friends.

“hi michael.” you winced, his voice booming in your ear - you were NOT drunk enough for this.

michelle laughed at your face as michael swung his arm around your shoulder, leaning down to drunkenly snuggle into your neck (you were never good at hiding your feelings, your face getting you in trouble more often than not). michael was slurring words you couldn’t understand as he started to dead weight himself on you, causing you to slightly stumble under the 6’2” frat boy.

“michael, get off.” you groaned, pushing him on the shoulder. “and lay off the dollar beers, for Christ’s sake.”

michael made no effort to move, instead weaving his arms around you in a pseudo-hug. you rolled your eyes, trying to shake him off. as tyler made a move to help de-tangle his friend from your body, you immediately felt a 220 pound weight lifted from you, the freedom almost disorienting you.

“what the fuck is going on?”

you looked up to see your boyfriend, rafe, angrily fisting the front of michael’s sweatshirt, two buds comfortably sitting between the fingers of his other hand.

“hey baby,” you started, moving to rest a gentle hand on the arm that was holding a very inebriated michael up, trying to disregard the small crowd of lambdas that flanked rafe, in case shit went down.

rafe ignored you, pulling michael closer to his face, “keep your hands off her. I don’t want to have to explain it to you again.” his words were scarily even, face emotionless as he stared michael down.

he shoved michael back towards michelle and tyler, who barely caught the stumbling boy, before rafe pointed a beer at them, “tyler, keep your little bitch in check. shit’s embarrassing at this point.”

you looked apologetically towards michelle, who was trying to simultaneously hold michael up and talk tyler down from a fight, before following rafe, who was stomping towards the front door, knocking the remainder of his beer back.

“hey!” you yelled, tugging on his arm before he started to put back the second bud, stopping him from leaving the bar. “what the fuck?”

he looked down at you. “I should be asking you that.”

you rolled your eyes, “it’s michael. he’s trashed, I genuinely think he thought I was a wall or something to hold him up.”

rafe chuckled mirthlessly, before polishing off the second beer, setting it down on a dirty table. he turned his backwards hat around, pulling it down low over his eyes. “let’s go.”

you crossed your arms. “really? you’re gonna do this shit right now?”

rafe turned towards the exit, growling, “I’m leaving.”

great - he’s deflecting. you thought, as you chugged the remainder of your beer, before hustling after him.

you shivered in your tank top as you caught up to him on the side walk outside the bar, watching as he ordered an uber, his breathing deep and heavy. you wordlessly leaned into his warm body, teeth chattering in the cold january air.

“here.” rafe grumbled, sliding his sweatshirt off to wrap around you. “it’s january, baby. what the hell are you wearing?”

you grinned, half pleased he wasn’t completely shutting you out, half pleased you were cozy and warm. “who cares? I look cute.”

he grumbled again, wrapping his arms around your neck from behind, pulling your back into his chest. y’all waited like that for the uber to pull up, before sliding into the back seat, rafe propping your feet up on his lap, a hand wrapped possessively around your ankle.

you caught his eye about a block from his house, giving him a shy smile and a wink. he growled, hand sliding up your leg.

you couldn’t get upstairs fast enough, practically tumbling out of the uber as rafe stalked after you, still slightly worked up from the incident at the bar. you went to go casually sit on the foot of the bed, kicking your shoes off, when rafe caught up to you, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

“you gonna be pissy all night?” you teased, pulling your hair down from its half-updo.

“what, I can’t be mad about some fucker groping you at a bar?” rafe growled, pulling his hat off to run his hands through his hair. you sat up on your knees, grabbing the hat from his hands before popping it backwards on your head.

“he wasn’t groping me,” you said, exasperated, adjusting your hair under his hat. “he was trying to stay vertical. very different.”

rafe gave you an amused look as you started to shimmy your jeans off while sitting, giving you a hand when they got stuck around your ankles.

“lookin’ good.” he laughed, taking in your appearance - you were down to just his hat and his sweatshirt, the rest of your outfit on the floor.

you smiled at rafe’s more-relaxed demeanor, popping up on your knees. “you’re a lucky man, rafe cameron. I’m not sure any other girl could pull this look off.”

rafe hummed, walking up to the foot of the bed to grab your ass, pulling you in. you squeaked, tipping forward into his chest, the too-big cap slipping down on your forehead.

you peered up at him, using one hand to steady yourself on his chest, the other to push the hat back - “you better now?”

rafe leaned down to catch your lips in a heated kiss, teeth nipping your bottom lip enough to make you gasp, allowing his tongue to slide in. one hand slid to roughly grasp the back of your neck as he dictated the pace, the other palming your ass cheek, keeping your body flush to his.

you pulled away a couple minutes later, breathless and lips already feeling bruised, hand moving to your chest to settle your heightened heart rate.

“a little better.” he mumbled, hand moving to the front of your neck, lightly tracing your throat with his fingers. “I know what will really help, though.”

(later, you found yourself seated on his cock, tits bouncing as you rode him wearing nothing but the hat, his hand spanking your ass as he made you tell him who you belonged to - you screamed his name as you came on his cock, screamed his name as he came inside you, and screamed his name as he went to eat his come out of you, listening to him growl “you’re mine” as he shoved his face in your dripping cunt.)

as y’all basked in the afterglow, your legs twisted around his, his hand cupping one of your breasts, he breathed out an apology.

“sorry, baby. I know you hate that shit.” he murmured, mindlessly letting his finger circle your nipple.

you wiggled under his light touch, “s’okay baby. you didn’t fight anyone tonight.”

he smirked, rolling your now-hard nipple between his fingers, watching your head tip back in pleasure. “what can I say baby, I’m practically a pacifist now.”

you snorted, smacking his bare shoulder, pleasure forgotten in the humor. “okay bub, whatever you say.” you giggled again. “pacifist my ass. you literally fought a beta in october because he looked at my ass.”

you yelped as rafe tugged you into his side, rolling you under him, his arms bracketing your head. “like it didn’t turn you on.”

you moaned as he leaned down to kiss you again, filthy and slow, tongues fighting for control.

he pulled away a few moments later, brushing your hair out of your face, before his hand cupped your cheek.

you pouted, nuzzling into his palm. “I really should stop sleeping with you after you get all jealous - I think you think I’m encouraging it.”

rafe grinned down at you, slipping his thumb between your teeth, watching as your eyes widened. “whatever babes,” he chuckled, pressing the digit down on your tongue, “you’re mine.”

#this is so unedited #im so sorry lol #rafe cameron #drew starkey #college rafe #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #outer banks #obx #outer banks smut #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #she writes

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weloveharrypotter · 4 years ago

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Father Figure Pt. 11

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Student! Orphan! Reader

Summary: Everyone thinks the situation between Kat and Y/n died down, but it hasent. Y/n is constantly harassed and bullied by Kat and Taylor and their friends. However, Y/n refuses to tell anyone. But one day she just snaps. That’s when Fred and Teddy come to the rescue. (This is an Au where Fred lived. It takes place in current time, cursed child doesn’t happen. Also I know Teddy Lupin is supposed to be 6 years older than the reader and James Sirius but for the sake of the fic I’m making him a year older)

Warnings: cussing, bullying, harassment (verbal), slur? (It’s the word ‘mudblood’), crying (it had a fluffy end don’t worry)

It was currently potions, and Y/n sat next to James, Albus, and Teddy. Teddy and Y/n have gotten closer but haven’t talked about the near kiss at the lake.

Teddy could tell recently Y/n wasn’t herself. She pulled pranks but none of them ever really made her happy, she’s was talking and joking less, and sometimes even avoiding them.

He couldn’t think of why, but he was determined to figure it out.

They were all getting a head start in the homework when the bell rang. They started to pack their bag.

That’s when Kat came walking over, and Y/n rolled her eyes.

“Well hello there.” She said walking next to Y/n and putting her hands on the desk and leaning over to her.

“What!?” Y/n asked rudely.

“So rude, I haven’t even said anything, mudblood.”

“I’ve never told you my blood status, idiot.” Y/n replied.

“Probably Beacuse you don’t know it, orphan.” Kat replied.

Y/n was filled with pure rage, but managed to keep herself from attacking her, and the rest of the groups jaw dropped.

Especially Teddy. His mind was racing with thoughts and questions. The two main questions were ‘is this what you were hiding? Did you think this is something that would make him, James, and Albus leave’, and ‘is this why you’ve been different? Was it Beacuse Kat was treating you like this when they weren’t around?’

Y/n snapped and stood up.

“Ooo, someone’s mad now? What are you going to do?” Kat asked amused.

“Question is what are you going to do. Because the last time I checked your little boyfriend who helps you jump people was still suspended. There’s no one who will help you now. No one here to protect you because you will never have the balls to do anything on your own.” Y/n said snapping, yet also keeping a lower voice.

Kat sucked in a breath and stomped away. She than snuck a glance at Teddy, James, and Albus.

“Y/n-.” Beofre Teddy could get any further Y/n walked away.

She heard the group walking and calling after her, but she only picked up her pace and ignored them.

She turned into a closet and casted a very powerful locking spell. She shrank down to the floor, and leaned her back against the wall.

She let the warm tears run down her face as she laid he head back. She wasn’t given any time really, to herself before there was knocking.

“Y/n open up.” James said knocking.

Y/n only sat there and continued to cry.

“Common let us in.” Albus added desperately.

Y/n only stood her ground.

“Y/n, love, please let me in.” Teddy begged.

Still nothing was changed. Another good 20 minutes of this and attempts to unlock the door had gone by.

Teddy sighed as he backed from the door a bit. He called the two boys over.

“So what do we do, I can’t sit out here and let her cry like this.” James said.

“Same.” Albus agreed.

“Neither can I. So that’s why we have to get someone else.” Teddy informed.

“She’ll be pissed if we tell a professor or the headmaster.” Albus replied.

“That’s why we aren’t telling them.” Teddy replied.

“Than who are we getting?” Albus asked.

“We need uncle Fred.” Teddy answered.

“Uncle Fred? He’s working, he can’t just drop everything.” James said.

“Have you seen their bond. There like father and daughter, they’d drop everything for each other.” Teddy argued.

James and Albus couldn’t argue. It was apparent since the first time they met you, you two were inseparable. They nodded.

“You two stay here and try to keep her busy or try to get her to talk. I’ll go get him.” Teddy said.

Luckily the next class had started just moments ago so the halls were clear. Teddy, however, still snuck around the school in case he saw either the caretaker or groundskeeper.

He made it out of the school, and than made his way to the train station. He got there and made his way to the train, and got on. The train pulled away and he was now on his way to Diagon Alley.

—————

The train stopped and Teddy stood quickly, and walked fast, almost jogged. Finally he got to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

He ran around looking for Fred. He went upstairs into his office and saw Fred and George talking.

“Fred there’s an emergency.” Teddy said.

Fred and George immediately got conceded and grabbed their coats.

“What happened?” Fred asked.

“Y/n was apparently being bullied and didn’t tell anyone. They did it in front of James, Albus, and I, and a few other people, and she locked herself in a closet and we can’t get her out.” Teddy explained quickly.

“Let’s go.” Fred said immediately as he walked over while putting his coat on.

George, however, put his coat back down recognizing this was a situation for Fred.

—————

Fed and Teddy sat anxiously on the train ride back.

“W-who did it? Also what did they do?” Fred asked.

“It was Kat. She called her the slur for myggleborn, and exposed her for being an orphan.” Teddy informed.

Fred sighed. He was heartbroken for Y/n. He knew this was the worse possible situation.

————-

Teddy ran up to the closet door you were in. Once they were there he knocked gently.

“Y/n, love, I brought someone.” Teddy said.

“Hello, darling.” Fred said.

Y/n’s head lifted at the familiar and comforting voice.

“Can you let Fred and I in. Or just Fred. Either or, whatever you want.” Teddy offered.

“Y-you can come in. But only you two.” Y/n said.

There was audible movement, and than a click. They pushed the door open to see Y/n, and closed it after they walked in.

She sat with her back to the wall. Her head was looking up, and her feet were close to being pulled to her chest. And her arms were crossed.

The pair made their way over to you and sat by you. Fred sat on your left while Teddy sat on your right side.

Fred put an arm around your shoulder. Whilst Teddy laid his arm on my thighs.

“Are you ok?” Fred asked. Y/n shook her head no in response.

“Wanna talk about it?” Teddy asked.

Y/n sighed. He already knew now, so why hold back.

“I... have been an orphan ever since I could remember. They like to hit the kids from time to time. And I don’t know how she found out but... to hear her bring it up. It... it hurt.” Y/n admitted.

“And that sucks. Because I’ve tried for so long, to not be affected by it. To not be sensitive about it-.” “Don’t you dare say that.” Teddy said cutting her off.

“Darling, they’re abusing you. They hit you. It’s ok to be affected by it, it’s ok to not want people to talk about it.” Fred said.

Y/n wiped the tears falling from her eyes. Teddy and Fred squeezed her comfortingly.

“I know it’s hard, to have someone like her, doing this all the time, but just know, you will always have me. Ok?” Teddy said.

“And me too.” Fred added.

Y/n nodded and they gave her a soft smile. A small one tugged at her lips in response.

“We’ll work on getting her stopped.” Teddy said and Y/n nodded in response.

There was a moment of silence between the trio.

“Why are you doing this?” Y/n asked.

“Doing what?” Teddy asked.

“Comforting me. Or really just caring about me in general?” Y/n asked.

“Beacuse we love you. And we’d never trade you for the world.” Fred answered.

Teddy and Fred leaned in closer and snuggled up to her.

She laid he head on Fred’s shoulder. After a long while Y/n drifted to sleep. Fred and Teddy took notice to this.

Fred picked her up carefully, and they made their way to the dorms. Once they got there, they went into the girls dorm.

Once they were there, Tedddy led Fred to her bed. Fred placed her on top gently, and brushed some hair out of her face before kissing her head softly.

He sighed knowing he’d have to leave.

“I’ll stop but the headmasters before I leave.” Fred informed.

“Just take care of her. Ok?” Fred asked.

“Of course.” Teddy replied while nodded.

Teddy and Fred said their goodbyes beofre the door shut and Teddy sighed. He turned around and looked over to Y/n.

You looked peaceful. For the first time in a little while.

He walked over and laid down next to Y/n, before wrapping his arms around her. He held her tightly and close until he too, drifted off to sleep.

—————

(A/N): Thank you for reading. I hope y’all enjoyed this part. There will be more. 😊

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caitlyn-winchester · 4 years ago

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Pilot (Part 2)

Cordell Walker x daughter!Reader

word count: 1,554

warnings: dead parent, abandonment?, mentions of deportation

A.N. sorry I haven't been that active about updating this story. I had some school assignments to complete(and still do). this past week I just been very unmotivated to do anything. I'll try to post more! Thank u for your patience.

masterlist

“What are we doing out here again?” Bel asked me as we hopped over a fence that led to an open field.

“Just looking at the stars, I guess. My mom used to take me out here all the time, especially on a full moon.” I told her, sitting down on the grass

“Full moon, like tonight.” she realized.

“Yeah.” I pulled out my leather-bound sketchbook and markers. “She let me draw the starscape while she took some pictures on her camera. I've drawn every single full moon since I was ten, I've missed a couple since she passed. The first couple of months were difficult to get myself to come out here. She even made this sketchbook” I explained. Bel put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I was so lucky to have her, she is an amazing friend.

“She sounds amazing Y/N. I wish I could meet her.” She said and I just nodded. “Can I see your drawings?”

“Sure.” I handed her the book and she started to flip through the pages

“You're really good” she complimented

“Thanks.” I gave a small smile. I layed down on the grass and looked at the stars. It's been a little while and we’ve been talking, looking at the stars or I've been doodling the sky. We heard hard footsteps in the distance and looked over to see someone running in our direction. “What the hell? I breathed out and sat up. As the person got closer I recognized the person. It’s Ryan Marshall from school.

“Ryan?” Bel said when he was just about to pass us but he stopped when he heard his name.

“Hey guys!” he slurred. I rolled my eyes, great he’s drunk.

“Hey! You! Stop!” We heard from the same direction Ryan came from. Two police officers came running over and Ryan took off again. One police officer continued to chase ryan but the other stopped and looked at us.

“What are you ladies doing out here? Were y’all also at that party down the block.” he asked us pointing a flashlight at us. I put my hand out to block my eyes. Does he really gotta shine that thing directly in my face?

“No sir, we were just stargazing. We never stepped foot in that party. You can test us if you'd like.” I explained and Bel agreed with my statement.

“No, you guys don't seem drunk or anything. But you are trespassing.” he told us.

“Trespassing? I thought this was a public field.” I blurted.

“Last month this field was issued for game only during this season. You can only be on this field if you have a hunting license.” he explained “I’ll have to take you into the station for trespassing.”

“Can’t you let us off with a warning? We had no idea and you have no signs up!” I jabbed

“Sorry missy its protocol.” He read us our rights and asked us if we had any weapons and all the other police crap that's part of their ‘protocol’.

»»————-　★　————-««

Currently we are at the police station waiting for our parents to pick us up. Bel told me about her parents and how they might get deported since she was brought in. I feel terrible, I has no idea they changed the field over for a stupid game season. Just another thing I messed up. Luckily Stan Morrison was able to drop our charges since I explained exactly what happened and he understood. Unfortunately, we were taking in so our parents must pick us up since we are minors. We were waiting for probably a good thirty minutes when I saw my dad round the corner. I’m shocked he actually showed up, that’s a new one. I do really want to jump up and hug him but something in me is just mad at him for leaving us so I can’t bring myself to. Also being picked up at a police station was not my ideal first meeting of my dad after his absence.

“And here he is to save the day” I say under my breath.

“Good to see you too.” He said and approached us.

“Dad, this is Bel. Can we take her home?” I asked him.

“No. minors have to be picked up by their parents.”

“Well i’m not just leaving her here.”

“Then you can stay in a cell here tonight.”

Bel’s parents enter the police station. Dad takes his hat off and approaches them.

“It’s good to meet ya’ll. I've been out of town for a while so I don't really know Y/N’s social life. We should spend some time together.” he says.

“Stop it.” I whisper. He can't be serious right now.

“...Seems like the girls got into some trouble tonight so maybe we could help each other out.” he explains. Bella’s parents don't say anything as another police officer calls them back.

“Epic first meeting.” Bel sighs.

“I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing.” I apologize for my dad’s actions.

“For who? Lets go.” Dad shot at me and I just rolled my eyes. I grabbed my sketchbook off the seat and gave Bel a quick hug before leaving the station with my dad.

»»————-　★　————-««

The car ride home was an awkward one. Like what do I even say to him? ‘Nice to finally see you again after you abandoned us for almost a year’ I don't think that's the nicest thing to say. I felt sweet relief when I saw us pull up to my grandparents house. I took off my seat belt and opened the car door.

“Y/N,” dad warned. I stopped opening the door and started fidgeting with the edge of my sketchbook. “Want to tell me what the hell you were thinking?”

“I didn't know we were trespassing. There was no sign or anything to tell us pedestrians were not allowed on the field. Apparently they recently changed it or something, I don't know. Mom used to take me out to that field all the time. I didn't think anything of it.” I explained. He nodded in understanding.

“It's still dangerous. What if a hunter thought you were a deer and shot you? I don't like you out alone. I know you had Bel with you, but there's some bad people out there that can overpower you guys. I’d rather you be home for dinner with your family at night.” He told me.

“Oh like how you were home for dinner last night?” I challenged and he sighed. “Mom said you'd never be on a case too long.” I remarked.

“And I never meant to be.” dad said and I shook my head in disbelief. “This last case...it got complicated.” he explained.

“Complicated?” I scoffed. “A five minute phone call this summer, then nothing for three months! It’s bad enough we didn't have mom” I pointed out.

“We both gotta stop acting like she's going to come back.” he stated. I jumped out of the car and burst into tears. Uncle Liam was outside now and he tried to reach out to me but I ignored him. August was right in the living room when I entered the house.

“Y/N? What's wrong? What happened? Where’s dad” he asked me.

“Its nothing August. Just leave it alone.” I sniffed, trying my best to contain myself for my brother’s sake.

“Why were you at the police station? I thought you were just going to yours and mom’s spot?” he nagged on.

“I did. It's some kind of hunting ground now, you can’t go on it without a hunting license. You done with the twenty questions?” I snapped.

“Y/N, want to come have some leftovers?” my grandma asked me. Well she technically asked but she was actually telling me to get my ass over there.

“Sure Grams” I sighed and sat down by the kitchen island. She put down a plate of her famous pot roast and I dug in. While I ate she was cleaning up the kitchen.

“You’re not going to ask me what I did?” I inquired.

“No, because I know you’re a good, smart kid and you wouldn't do anything too damaging on purpose.” She offered me a kind smile. “Plus I know what tonight is with the full moon. I can put two and two together.” she laughed. Uncle Liam and dad walked in the house but I didn't hear them enter so I continued talking.

“Last month, they changed the field for ‘game hunting only’. I had no idea, so Bel and I got charged for trespassing. I can’t go out to that field anymore. Now I feel like another piece of mom is gone.” I confessed tears welling up in my eyes again.

“You can still go draw the stars, I know your mom would love for you to keep doing y'all's traditions. I'll even go out with you.” she offered.

“Thanks Grandma. I appreciate it, I really do, but it just wouldn't be the same.” I sighed.

“Not many things are going to be the same, Y/N.” she stated.

“I miss her so much.” I started sobbing. Grandma rounded the island and pulled me into a hug.

“I know you do sweetie.” she consoled, rubbing her hand in circles on my back, trying her best to comfort me.

A.N. sorry if you don't like to draw. Emily seemed like the type of parent that liked her kids to be creative, like August and photography. So I figured drawing could be what the reader and Emily did together.

PART 3 OUT NOW

#walker #cordell walker #cw walker #walker texas ranger #jaredpadelcki #gen padalecki #supernatural #walker x daughter!reader #micki ramirez #walker fanfiction

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karazor--el · 5 years ago

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The Beat

INTERVIEW: Nicole Maines on bringing trans issues to SUPERGIRL

Cori McCreery Cori McCreery

On March 15, 2020, an episode of Supergirl titled “Reality Bytes” aired on The CW, focused on the harrowing topic of violence against trans women. Actress Nicole Maines, a trans woman who portrays Nia Nal (aka Dreamer) on the series, led the way in the episode with an emotional and raw performance and with contributions in the writer’s room. On March 31st’s Trans Day of Visibility, The Beat got to sit down with Maines to discuss bringing trans issues to primetime television.

The Beat: Happy Trans Day of Visibility.

Nicole Maines: Happy Trans Day of Visibility to you too! Thank you very much.

The Beat: As one of the most prominent trans voices out there today, what does today mean to you?

Nicole Maines: Well it kinda feels like a double-edged sword for me. I feel like, on the one hand, it’s a victory lap for all of us because we’ve made so much progress. You know, we have reached all these milestones but then at the same time you know we have to take a moment and recognize, why our visibility is so radical and you have to remember everyone else who we’ve lost along the way and you have to keep in mind all the new legislation that’s being introduced amidst all this so there’s a lot of emotions, but I think it should first and foremost, be a happy day for us to celebrate that we can even be visible.

The Beat: Yeah. As someone who also has a history of activism in the trans community, I feel that very close to my heart. I’m from South Dakota, which has made news in recent years for all of the really vile anti-trans legislation that they have tried to pass. And I feel a little guilty because it all started coming out after I won a court case in South Dakota.

Maines: Well first of all, congratulations. Second of all, you know, I think we shouldn’t feel guilty about that because it’s kind of like, you know, how a “hit dog will holler,” that old saying? It’s kind of like that. I feel like that’s kind of the final thrashing for that kind of bigotry and way of thinking, they feel they feel threatened, which, you know, they should.

The Beat: So I know we’re all cooped up right now. Do you have any plans to celebrate today online at all with friends?

Maines: Yeah! So I did my social media posts and I did a really, I thought, cool video of like me transitioning from me when I was younger and I was still rocking a bowl cut to now as Dreamer to kind of show, you know, it gets better and look how again just looking how far we’ve come. And then also, I took a moment to kind of give a shout out to, there’s a lot of us who can’t post selfies for trans day of visibility, because you know we’re living at home with parents who aren’t supportive or we’re not in a safe school environment, we’d be facing harassment online from peers. So, I wanted to take a moment, also and kind of recognize, hey, y’all are just as much a part of this community and even if you can’t participate in Trans Day of Visibility, you’re still valid.

The Beat: Speaking of being stuck at home, what are you doing to pass all of your free time now?

Maines: Well, I finally broke down and I got Disney Plus. So lots of that. I binged the Mandalorian and now I’m doing an entire rewatch of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I’m starting at season one, then I’m going to go right into the new season that just got released so I’m really excited about that. Lots of Disney movies. I tried to teach myself how to sew. Turns out that’s not in my skill set. And then lots of video games. Just yesterday I ate Ritz crackers, in the dark.

The Beat: I too ate Ritz crackers in the dark yesterday, so solidarity. What video games are you playing right now?

Maines: Right now my main one has been Warframe on Xbox. I have some friends who’ve been playing, so I’ve been playing that and then also League of Legends Teamfight Tactics because of course, they released a new mobile version, so I can sit in the dark, eat Ritz crackers and play that on my phone, so that’s great.

The Beat: All right, so let’s get to the matter at hand. You’re on your second season of playing Nia Nal on Supergirl. How has this season been different from your first?

Maines: This season feels a lot more of Dreamer, as she’s become her own force, I think. I mean, for the most part, season four was really kind of showing us who Nia Nal was and kind of showing us her growth and her transformation into Dreamer. And so season five has been more, you know, we’ve had Dreamer, from the season premiere, and so now we’ve kind of gotten to see Dreamer’s struggle as opposed to Nia’s struggle, I think. And we’ve gotten to see her come even more into her powers. And then, of course, also struggle with her relationship with Brainiac so it’s been, I think, it’s been a lot heavier of a season for Nia than season four, I think. Season four was kind of like her really coming into her own. and then season five has just been her getting like hit after hit after hit.

The Beat: Yeah, although it wasn’t all roses in season four either. You had the really impactful episode of the show, “Blood Memory”, that talked about the rejection of trans people by their family, which is an issue that affects so many of us. How involved were you in the planning of that episode? I know you were heavily involved in “Reality Bytes,” but how heavily were you involved in that one?

Maines: Yeah. I was still really involved. A little less so than in “Reality Bytes”, because of course “Reality Bytes” was kind of all about transness, whereas “Blood Memory” it was just a blip, it was much more about her relationship with her powers and with her family rather than about her transness. But as far as that conversation between Maive and Nia went, I sat in my trailer with the writer and with Jessica and we just talked kind of about what language should Maeve be using, what feels appropriate to say, and feels like it is accurate how that conversation would go but also not so overindulgent in transphobic verbiage that it would become triggering you know what I mean?

The Beat: Yeah.

Maines: Yeah, so we didn’t want to like lean too heavily into it but we also didn’t want to like, totally pull the punches, because that’s not really, you know, how those conversations go. So, when we eventually settled on just having Maeve say what, to her, made the most sense, which was “How did Nia get these powers if she’s not even a real woman?”

The Beat: Yeah, it was so important, and likewise this year’s “Reality Bytes” got to tackle violence against trans people and especially violence against trans women of color. How did it feel knowing that you’d be so involved in something so monumentally groundbreaking on network television?

Maines: It was really exciting, and also a little nerve-wracking. I have to give credit to our director Armen (Kevorkian) for his Saint-like patience with me. Looking back now, I’m like, oh my gosh, I was so overbearing. But I felt so protective of this episode. Just because they’d given me so much involvement in the writing of it and I knew how important this episode was to me, and how important it would be to everybody else watching it, so I wanted to have my hands in everything. I wanted to know what was going on, what we were doing. And I didn’t need to do that, they knew what they were doing and they were so fantastic. And so incredible and everyone on set just got it and they just knew what we were doing and they knew how important this episode was. And everyone was so excited and so proud to be part of it.

So getting to be involved in the writing process was really great. And then finally seeing it on television was so so rewarding because of course part of the conversation we’ve had leading up to that was that so much ends up on the cutting room floor. “What do we absolutely need to keep?” And seeing that a lot of it was actually kept. Because talking about it is one thing, and then going on and turning on the television and seeing them talk about the trans mortality rate. Giving accurate, statistics, having Yvette talk about her situation as a trans woman of color, addressing that very often trans violence is swept under the rug by law enforcement. Seeing all that talked about was so affirming.

The Beat: Yeah, it absolutely was, and you talked about how you worked hard to keep triggering language, out of “Blood Memory” and that’s something that I felt happened in “Reality Bytes” too, like it would have been perfectly in character for the villain of the episode use the T slur, but the fact that that didn’t come out of his mouth felt so important to me because that is such a triggering word.

Maines: I feel like using those kinds of slurs might have been a crutch, because that’s not what we were trying to do we didn’t want to have this character just throwing out hurtful words just for the sake of it, and realistically, that’s probably what he would have done, but we kind of wanted to show more of what his thought process was. And we wanted to see more, you know where this dude is. What is his motivation in trying to take down a superhero? And so we really want to use that screen time to more highlight this idea of “gay panic”. It’s just so much easier to just have someone come up, tell a slur, and then have a superhero beat him up. I think it’s much more important and impactful to show why that kind of thinking is dangerous. And to highlight those arguments that are being made, because a lot of people really didn’t believe that trans violence was an issue and they didn’t understand why people would attack trans people.

The Beat: So you talked about the statistics that you brought up in the episode, and a big point of debate online after the episode was the choice of having William being more knowledgeable about these issues than Kara, what drove that decision?

Maines: I saw those too. And I saw people talking, “Kara doesn’t need that explained to her, she doesn’t need that.” And I think it was good that William was the one to say and show her because one: he was a reporter, he was reporting that so it would make sense that he kind of had those statistics and he had those numbers, because he would have looked them up. And a lot of people thought that, because Kara was Nia’s friend, that she would have researched trans stuff and she would have… And I think no, you could go up to my best friend in the world, we’ve been inseparable since high school. If you asked him what the trans mortality rate is off the top of his head he wouldn’t know! Cis people, regardless of how supportive they are, I can ask my mother in the other room right now, she wouldn’t know. Because it’s not something that’s talked about, it’s not something that a lot of people think about and really if you’re not in the trenches, doing this kind of work. I think most trans people are unaware of exactly what the mortality rate is at any given time.

And so I think, for Kara, it was important to show that you can be very very supportive and not have all the answers and you can still learn. It was never a question of whether or not Kara was supportive of Nia. We’ve known that from the beginning and we really saw that in “Blood Memory”. We know how important Kara is to Nia and we know how important Nia is to Kara. But that doesn’t mean that Kara has magically become a trans activist and that she has all of this information that she would just know off the top of her head, because why would she? Why is it something she would have looked up? She just wanted Nia to know that she was supportive and that she had somebody. And that’s where that support was coming from it wasn’t coming from a place of “let me look up all these statistics and let’s go lobby together” that’s not what it was about.

The Beat: How did it feel to act out the anger and powerlessness that so many of us feel in the face of this violence. It was so cathartic watching you take action against the bigot. I can only imagine how it felt to portray it.

Maines: Part of it was, of course, exciting, because we’ve never really gotten to see Nia or Dreamer angry. You’ve never really got to see her vengeful. So that was exciting just from a character point of view. And then, acting it out. I really really wanted to show just how deep-rooted a lot of this frustration and anger is. And so, I don’t know if it read, I don’t know if it really played, but while we were actually fighting, we adjusted the choreography of the fight a little bit. Because Dreamer, of course, has been trained by Brainiac and by Supergirl and she knows, and she’s technical, she knows what to do with her hands and with her body when she fights. I wanted to kind of strip that away and I kind of wanted to give it this schoolyard fight feel where she’s not really throwing right hook, left hook, jab, jab, and it’s more just like she’s just going to slug him, like one punch just thrown after the other and really kind of physically show all of that frustration. And then when Supergirl arrives she kind of has this moment where she looks, and she kind of recognizes “What am I really doing?” Because she got so caught up in it that she just completely lost track of her situation. But it was really, it was really exciting to get to show that side of Nia. And it was really I mean cathartic for me to kind of, as he was, you know, listing off all his talking points, to just say like, “Oh yeah your fragile ego was shattered wasn’t it?” That felt really good and I was like “Yes, Nia, read him! Drag him!”.

The Beat: So I’ve got one last question. And that’s about the future of the show. Melissa recently announced her pregnancy and I’m so happy for her. Any idea if we’re going to see more of Dreamer to kind of fill that role to give her more time off?

Maines: I really have no idea what the plan is moving into it, because we kind of had a little bit of a plan. And then it was just kind of, you know, everything was thrown up in the air with the virus. Now we’re kind of unsure what’s gonna happen and when. I mean, I’m on call. Whenever they call me, beep me, I’ll be there. I don’t really know what is in store for season six, I just, I know kind of what we’re going to be doing but I’m not sure of any of the details.

Supergirl is currently on hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. New episodes will return on April 26 starring Melissa Benoist, Nicole Maines, and the rest of the team.

Comicsbeat.

#Supergirl

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mksc77 · 6 years ago

Note

I wish you would write a fic where Sharon & Andy go on a coffee date. Please & thank you!

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! I hope a “nondate” and the fact that the leadup to it ended up taking over is okay, sorry about that. This isn’t where I thought I was going to end up with this at all, but here we are 🤷‍♀️ This prompt was in response to this post, if anyone else is interested :)

Thank you, @spindleofaspinningwheel for making me a little less Tumblr illiterate and showing me how to do the “keep reading” thing so I can stop spamming y’all with long posts :)

When Sharon arrived at the church for Nicole’s wedding, she politely waved off the ushers and slipped into one of the back pews. She watched as the ushers led other guests in once she was seated, and it didn’t take long at all for her to pick out Andy’s son. His eyes and smile were a dead giveaway. Now that she was at the wedding, she was getting nervous about what Andy’s ex-wife and family were going to think about her being there. What the hell had she been thinking when she invited herself to Nicole’s wedding? She did enjoy going to weddings, and her family members, friends’ children, and Emily’s and Ricky’s close high school friends had taken a break on the wedding front lately, so it had been a while since she’d been to one. An evening of a little wine, good music, and dancing had sounded perfect at the time. Sharon had heard bits and pieces of Andy’s and Provenza’s conversations about the wedding, and while she hoped Andy wouldn’t be stupid and skip it for his own sake, her ears had pricked up when she heard Provenza mutter something about not believing Andy was considering passing up a chance to take over the dance floor. She’d never really thought much about Andy, non-work-wise, and the idea of him liking to dance surprised her. She was starting to drive herself crazy, so she finally pushed it to the back of her mind and enjoyed the familiar hymns being played from the organ.

Once the bridal party was in place and everyone followed Nicole’s mom’s lead and stood up as Nicole entered, Sharon sneaked a peek at Andy. He looked happy, and she was glad he’d decided to participate in the wedding. He would’ve regretted it if he didn’t.

When the wedding was over, Sharon ran a couple of errands and took her time getting to the reception. The original plan had been to ride with Andy from the church, but when she thought about the fact that they’d be taking pictures for a while after the service, she’d told him she would meet him at the reception. She wasn’t sure if he’d told anyone yet he was bringing a friend, or if he had, what exactly he had said about her, so she wasn’t trying to hang around the sanctuary. When she arrived at the reception, she draped her wrap over her arm and placed her keys in her clutch. The temperature had dipped below 70 degrees, and the outdoor venue would probably get a little chilly once the sun went down.

Sharon felt a little awkward walking into a sea of total strangers, but she ran into one of her college friends on her way to the bar. They hadn’t completely lost touch over the years, but they’d seen each other less and less as they grew older and gradually built new lives for themselves.

“Jill!” Sharon approached her from behind and lightly grabbed her arm.

“Wha—Sharon!” Jill set her drink down on a nearby table and gave her a hug. “I didn’t know you knew Nicole and Dean.”

Sharon shook her head. “I don’t, really. I work with Nicole’s dad, and they’ve had some drama over the wedding this week. He didn’t want to come at all, and he was still nervous when he did decide to come. I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking when I offered to come with him.”

Jill raised an eyebrow. “Are you guys—“

“No, we’re not dating. Andy’s ideal woman is about half my age, and you know good and well I couldn’t care less about dating.”

Jill shrugged. “It’s just as well. The older you get, the more you realize that if you want to get off, you’ll likely have to do it your damn self, anyway. You, my friend, need a drink.”

“Jill!” Sharon laughed helplessly. She hadn’t changed one bit. “What are you drinking? That looks pretty good.”

“I’m not sure, but it’s too good to be anything but trouble—rum and…something. It’s not as fruity as it it looks. They have pitchers of it at the bar.”

Sharon got a drink and went with Jill to find her husband. “How do you know Nicole and Dean?”

“Dean’s parents have lived next door to us since he was about three. He and my boys were close in age, and he practically lived at our house growing up. My brats are around here somewhere, we’ll find them later.”

By the time Andy arrived, Sharon was a couple of drinks in, and she’d made the wise decision to switch to wine. She knew she should slow down, but she figured they’d be dancing later, and she would stop then. The pleasant weather and the good music playing had made those first couple of drinks go down a little too fast. With trying to wrap the case earlier that day, she hadn’t eaten much lunch, so she was compensating now with a plate of hors d’oeuvres. Dinner was served soon after that, and then the band began to play.

After the traditional first dances were complete, Andy grabbed Sharon’s hand and led her to the dance floor. She loved to dance, but she usually needed a little liquid courage, especially this early when not many others had ventured to the dance floor yet. Andy clearly needed nothing of the sort. He guided her around with sure and steady arms, and dear god she had missed this.

With other girls I've wantedI've made it just a momentWith you I'll share each dayNow I know you've heard about meBad things about me, baby, please let me explainOh, I have kissed a fewI tell you, a few have kissed me tooI guess I'm just a stubborn kind of fellowGot my mind made up to love you

“Eyes up here, Andy,” Sharon playfully chided when she caught his gaze drifting a little lower than it should. Her breasts did look damn good in this dress, if she did say so herself.

“Oh! I wasn’t—I was—uhh…Sorry.” Sharon giggled at the guilty expression on his face. The music slowed down a couple of songs later, and Andy pulled back from Sharon, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. “Want to take a break?”

Sharon moved a little closer to him. “Maybe after this one…Unless you need to go talk to any of the guests?”

Andy shook his head. “No, I just didn’t want to keep you from anything. I wasn’t expecting you to know anyone here.”

“I wasn’t, either. Jill and I have been friends since college, and Dean grew up next door to her and her husband. Small world, isn’t it?”

She's got a way about herI don't know what it isBut I know that I can't live without herShe's got a way of pleasin'I don't know what it isBut there doesn't have to be a reasonAnyway

She's got a smile that heals me

I don't know why it isBut I have to laugh when she reveals meShe's got a way of talkin'I don't know what it isBut it lifts me up when we are walkin'Anywhere

The next song was a little after their time and had drawn Nicole, her bridesmaids, and a few other guests who were clearly friends of hers to the dance floor, so Sharon and Andy took that as their cue to leave for the time being. Andy got stopped by someone to talk, and Sharon snagged Jill. “I have to pee. Come with me?”

“Okay, I could go, too.” Jill give Andy a sidelong appreciative look as they walked by him. “I didn’t pay him much attention during the wedding, but he is hot.”

“Stop!” Sharon insisted. “He’s one of my lieutenants, I don’t think of him like that!”

“How could you not?! And did you see the way he was looking at you?”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “And how exactly was that?”

“Like you were sex on a plate.”

“He was not!”

When they were finished in the restroom, Jill watched Andy out of the corner of her eye as they walked by him again. “You’re out of your mind. He just looked at you like he would take you right here if there weren’t other people around.”

“Whatever. I’m getting more wine.”

A little while later, after being on and off of the dance floor, Sharon found that she was enjoying being with Andy more and more. Whether it was Andy, specifically, or a man she was having fun with, in general, that she was enjoying, she didn’t know, but that determination would have to wait until the next day. Maybe she’d give her friends the green light to start setting her up again after the situation with Rusty was resolved. For now, slowly swaying in Andy’s arms felt wonderful, but she’d have to wait until she was a little more sober to convince herself that this wouldn’t be a good idea.

Sharon was feeling drowsy after a while, and she couldn’t keep her words from slurring as she talked to Andy. She noticed that the band was packing up and that people seemed to be leaving, which was odd. It seemed like they’d just eaten dinner. Andy was laughing, and she suddenly had the feeling that he was laughing at her. She forgot all about that suspicion when she shivered from the cool air, and he draped his jacket over her shoulders. “I think it’s time to go. Is that your, um, bag?” Andy asked, nodding at her clutch lying on a nearby table.

“It’s a clutch,” Sharon corrected him. She swayed a little as she broke away from Andy to get it. Oh, shit, she was drunk. She didn’t realize just how bad it was until she tried to move by herself.

“Well, excuse me,” Andy responded good-naturedly.

Sharon had a feeling that she was forgetting something, but she pushed it out of her mind and let Andy lead her to his car. He opened the passenger door and helped her in, which, unfortunately, was absolutely necessary. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this drunk. Her stomach lurched suddenly, and, in a panic, she leaned back out and threw up right at Andy’s feet. “Oh, my god, Andy, I’m so sorry. I haven’t done that in years.”

Andy patted the top of her head and slowly stroked his fingers through her hair for a few moments. “It’s all right, you’re fine. I’ll go see if I can find you some water. I’ll be right back.”

Andy returned a few minutes later after cleaning his shoes off and handed Sharon a bottle of water. After she took a few sips, he wiped her cheeks and mouth with a dampened cloth he’d snagged from the caterers that were still cleaning up. “Did it get anywhere else?” He asked, cleaning a spot on her dress before checking her hands and shoes.

Sharon shook her head. She just wanted to go home, crawl into her bed, and die from mortification. Andy tossed the cloth in a nearby garbage can, made sure Sharon was buckled in, and drove away.

Andy could tell Sharon was embarrassed, and he patted her arm. “Don’t worry, Sharon. You know very well that I’m in no position to judge for this. I’m honestly glad to see you let loose a little. I just hate that you’ll feel like shit tomorrow.”

“Ughhhhh.” Sharon found Andy’s CDs, dug her glasses out of her clutch, and started looking through his collection. “Ooh, this looks good!” She slipped a Motown CD into the CD player and started singing along, seeming to have gotten a second wind. “Maybe you’ll wanna give me kisses sweet, but only for one night and no repeat. And maybe you’ll go away and never call, and a taste of honey is worse than none at all...”

They arrived at the condo a little while later, and Sharon didn’t notice where they were or that the car had stopped. She was still performing. “I try so hard, hard to be patient, hoping you’ll stop this infatuation...”

Andy got out and opened her door. “All right, Diana, I think you can give the Supremes a rest. We’re here.”

Sharon looked startled when she realized they were at the condo. “Oh! That was fast.”

Andy took her clutch from her and offered his hand. “Come on, I’ll help you upstairs.”

Sharon wanted to decline, but she wasn’t even sure she could find her own condo in this state, much less unlock her door. Her mind was foggy, and she couldn’t put a coherent thought together, other than the fact that she urgently needed to find a restroom. “‘Kay. Have to pee.”

Andy had only been to the condo a couple of times when she’d had the team over for Christmas and some other occasion, but he remembered there being restrooms in the lobby. He led her to the ladies’ room and got her keys out of her clutch while he waited. He started to worry when Sharon didn’t return a couple of minutes after he heard a toilet flush, and he was debating peeking into the ladies’ room. When he heard a banging noise from inside, he tapped on the door and partially pushed it open. “Hey, Sharon? I’m coming in, okay?”

“Stupid water won’t turn on,” Sharon muttered. She was standing in front of one of the sinks and irritably hitting the spigot. “What the hell is wrong with this damn thing?”

Andy chuckled. “I’ll help you with that.” He gently pulled her hands away and held one of his hands in front of the motion sensor. “These are annoying…There you go.”

“Thank you.” After Sharon washed her hands, they went to the elevator. Rusty was lying on the couch and watching a movie when they got upstairs, and he sat up when he heard them coming inside. He noticed Sharon’s hazy demeanor and clumsy movements, first thing. “Sharon?! What’s wrong? What happened—“ His first suspicion was that she was drunk, but he’d only seen her drink more than a couple of glasses of wine a few times before, and even then, it wasn’t nearly enough for this.

“It’s okay, honey. M’tired.” Sharon looked at Andy. “Come pick me up in the morning to get my car, and I’ll buy you coffee after.”

Andy shook his head. “I’ll take you to get your car, or you can give me your keys, and Provenza and I can—“

“No, Andy, m’buying you coffee,” Sharon insisted.

“Okay, okay…You’re the boss.” Andy finally agreed after going back and forth a few times. He looked around. “You, uh, need help with anything?” Not that he was about to help her change clothes or anything, but he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Fine. Thanks, Andy. Sorry.”

“No worries. See you in the morning, about 10:00. We’ll need to get your car before 11.” Andy awkwardly stood near Sharon for a few moments before just saying goodbye to them and leaving.

Sharon said goodnight to Rusty, brushed her teeth, and did a minimal wipe over her face with a makeup wipe, which she only did in lieu of a more lengthy cleansing and moisturizing routine on nights she was really tired. There was a basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded on the chair in her bedroom, so she found a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants to put on and collapsed into bed.

The next morning, she woke up to go to the bathroom before dawn. Her head was pounding, and her mouth tasted like something had crawled inside of it and died. The hell did she do last night?! She padded down the hall to the kitchen for some Advil, and seeing her clutch on the counter reminded her of Nicole’s wedding. Bits and pieces of the night before started coming back to her. Fuuuuuuuuck, she’d been highly overserved. She got a couple of pills and washed them down with water, then opened the refrigerator to find something to remedy the putrid taste in her mouth. She didn’t know where the ginger ale and Gatorade she found had come from, but the sight was like a miracle to her dry throat and churning stomach. She got one of each without bothering to get a glass for either and went back to bed. Her phone was dinging as she climbed back under the covers, and she saw a text from Jill. Do you feel like something kicked the crap out of you and left you for dead, or is that just me? I’m hungover like a walrus.

Sharon unlocked her phone and tapped out a response. The goal here is NOT to vomit, but thanks for that image. Not just you. I feel like death warmed up. Wine never does this to me, what the hell? Not that she had any idea of how many glasses she’d had, she’d lost count after the second glass, but still.

Whatever those fruity drinks were must’ve been loaded. I haven’t gotten plastered like that in a long time. John practically had to carry me inside. Now he’s sleeping like a baby, and I want to kill him.

Sharon had forgotten about the drinks she’d had at the beginning of the reception. Jill was probably right. Oh, yeah, I forgot about those. I hope Andy didn’t have to carry me, but I don’t remember much about coming home.

I thought you guys weren’t dating?

Sharon rolled her eyes. We’re not, he just brought me home, because I was clearly in no shape to get myself here…Ugh, I just remembered announcing that I had to pee right when we got home last night. Nice.

From the way he was looking at you last night, he probably even thought that was hot!

Stop it! I’m going back to sleep. Talk to you later. Sharon put her phone back on her nightstand and passed right back out, not waking again until Rusty was shaking her shoulder a few hours later. “Hey, Sharon, Flynn’s here.”

“Hmm kay,” Sharon muttered, not opening her eyes or processing what he was saying. She sat up long enough to get a sip of ginger ale and lay back down.

“Sharon, Flynn’s here. Something about your car.”

“Damn it.” Sharon sat back up. Her headache was a little better, but whether her stomach was going to behave and keep everything where it should be was anyone’s guess. “Tell him I’ll be there in a minute.”

Rusty wrinkled his nose. “Ew, Sharon, might want to brush your teeth first.”

“Good plan.” Sharon tugged at Rusty’s arm and indicated for him to sit on her bed. “You okay? I’m so sorry about last night. That rarely happens, I promise.”

Rusty shrugged. “Hey, as long as you’re not yelling at me or letting boyfriends do stuff to me, I don’t really care what you drink…Nice pajamas, by the way.”

Sharon looked down at herself. She hadn’t paid attention to what she was wearing, but now she could see that the t-shirt and pajama pants she was wearing belonged to Rusty. And the t-shirt was on backward. “Are you kidding me? We’ll talk some more when I get back, okay? This shouldn’t take long, and I’ll pick up lunch on the way home.”

“What, no mass?” Rusty asked, feigning surprise.

“Absolutely not. Father Stan would take one look at me and call an exorcist.” Sharon kissed Rusty’s cheek. “Be back soon.”

“For the love of god, Sharon, please go brush your damn teeth.”

“I am, I am.” Sharon stumbled into the bathroom and gave her appearance an appraising look. She hadn’t done the best job of removing her makeup the night before, and she had eyeshadow creased on her eyelids and mascara smudged under her eyes. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and put on just enough makeup to mask how awful she felt at the moment. Or to try to mask it, anyway. Jesus Christ, she was never drinking again. Her hair was flat and frizzy, so she brushed it back and clipped it up before changing clothes. She wasn’t one to go out in public in yoga pants and a t-shirt unless she’d been working out and it was necessary, but having anything more restrictive around her waist than that wasn’t happening. She’d salvaged her appearance as much as she could without keeping Andy waiting too long, so she went to the living room.

Andy looked up when he heard her coming down the hall. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you to call me back, but your car will get towed if we don’t pick it up before 11:00.”

Sharon looked at her phone and saw the missed calls for the first time. “That’s okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear my phone.” She got a fresh ginger ale from the refrigerator, knowing the car ride wasn’t going to be ideal for keeping her nausea at bay. “Are you responsible for these?”

Andy nodded. “I stopped and got a couple of things on the way here last night. I knew you wouldn’t be feeling great when you woke up.”

“Thank you. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see that this morning.” Sharon stuck her clutch in her purse, not taking the time to transfer the few items it held back to it, and followed Andy out the door.

The ride to the venue was quiet, with Sharon taking slow breaths and concentrating on not throwing up everywhere. “Do I need to pull over?” Andy asked after Sharon started gagging.

“Don’t...think so. Okay, I’m good. I actually feel a little better. I am entirely too old for this...If you utter a word about this to anyone, then your on-call schedule will get really inconvenient really quickly.”

Andy patted her hand. “It was a tough week, and you didn’t sleep or eat much. I’m not surprised the alcohol sneaked up on you as quickly as it did. I won’t say a word, I promise.” The same CD from the night before was playing, and the last few songs weren’t great, so he skipped through them and let it play from the beginning.

Sharon tilted her head. “Did they play this song at the reception last night?” Andy shook his head. Sharon looked confused. “I swear I heard it last night.”

Andy grinned. “Oh, you did. You put that CD in when we left, and—“

“Oh, no, I was singing, wasn’t I?” Sharon grimaced as fuzzy bits and pieces of the ride home came back to her.

“You streaked through the dance floor, and you’re worried about a little singing?”

“Andy!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. No, it was fun. Stop worrying about it, you were fine.” Andy was quite familiar with the “oh shit what did I say or do last night” feeling that always surfaced after a night where some details were lost. “All right, here we are.” He pulled into the venue and stopped beside Sharon’s car.

Sharon looked down at the now mostly-empty space where the reception had been held. “I think I left my wrap, I’m going to go see if it’s still there.”

“Is that what this thing’s called?” Andy asked, retrieving an item from his back seat.

“Yes, that’s it. Thank you.”

“There’s a coffee shop not far from here that has good breakfast, if you’re interested,” Andy said. “You might want a little grease and coffee before you’re in the car again for too long.”

Sharon agreed, thinking that some food would calm her stomach down a little, got the information from Andy, and met him there. The coffee shop was a little busy, so they opted to sit outside. The shaded porch and gentle breeze kept it from being too hot. “The bacon, egg, and cheese croissant is a godsend for a hangover,” Andy suggested as Sharon looked over her menu. “According to Provenza, anyway.”

“That does sound good,” Sharon agreed. “I’m so sorry, Andy. This isn’t what I had in mind when I offered to go with you last night, I promise.”

“I know. I’m just glad I went. If you hadn’t convinced me to go, I probably would’ve ruined the progress I’ve made with Nicole and Drew.”

Sharon raised her eyebrows. “I convinced you?”

Andy rolled his eyes. “Please, Sharon, I heard Provenza telling you I was ‘being an ass’ about the wedding...Which, I was. But I know that’s why you got me to go with you to speak with the victim’s parents.”

Sharon knew she was caught. “Well, you just needed a little perspective.”

Andy nodded. “I certainly got it. And thank you. I’d be kicking myself to hell and back right now if I hadn’t gone last night. Cleaning a pair of shoes and a couple of rides to your condo was a small price to pay.”

“Cleaning your shoes—oh, my god!” Sharon’s hand flew to her mouth as she remembered. “Seriously, Andy, I never do that...” She looked at him with an embarrassed smile. “Why did you even come back this morning? Rusty could’ve taken me to get my car...Even though I doubt I would’ve made it by 11:00 and would’ve panicked when it wasn’t there.”

Andy shrugged and gave her a crooked grin. “Because you did me an enormous favor last night, and I know you were in an awkward position. And...You asked me to.”

“Oh, yeah, I did, didn’t I?” Sharon pressed her forehead into the heel of her hand. “I feel like I’m in college, trying to fill in the blanks from the night before with my roommates.”

“You held yourself together pretty well,” Andy assured her. “I didn’t really realize how drunk you were until right before we left. We managed to avoid Sandra for most of the night, Drew managed to avoid us, and I’d be surprised if Nicole remembers much. She had a pretty good time, herself, so there’s no trauma, there...Nicole really liked you, by the way.”

“She did?”

Andy nodded. “I don’t think she expected me to be...friends with someone like you.”

Sharon didn’t know what to say, and she was relieved when their food arrived. She ate slowly, and by the time most of her food was gone, she was starting to feel slightly better. Andy had been finished with his for several minutes, and he couldn’t help but steal long glances at her as he waited for her to finish eating. Her relationship with everyone on the team had slowly grown more friendly in the last year, but seeing her so casual, not perfectly fixed up, and, well, human-like was a surprise to him. Almost as surprising as it had been to have such a great time with her the night before. They’d liked all of the same songs, and he’d loved how it felt to have her in his arms...No. No. Fifteen different kinds of hell no, he couldn’t start thinking about her this way.

A few minutes later, Andy took the check before Sharon could react. “Andy, no, I’m paying.”

“No, let me. You have no idea how much you helped me last night. Please.” Andy quickly counted out some cash and gave the tab back to the server. “I don’t need change, thanks.”

Defeated, Sharon put her wallet back in her purse. “I was supposed to be buying you coffee, how did that turn into you buying me coffee and breakfast?” She looked at her watch. “Oh, my, I’ve got to get home. I haven’t even looked at my phone, Rusty’s probably been blowing it up about lunch.”

“I should get going, too.” Andy walked Sharon to her car. “You feeling a little better?”

Sharon nodded and fished her keys out of her purse. “After a little more Advil and a couple of hours on the couch, I’ll be fine. You were right, that croissant worked wonders.”

“Good. This was fun. Um, maybe we could, uh, do this again sometime?” Andy awkwardly suggested. “As friends.”

“That was fun,” Sharon agreed. “Um, sure. As friends. And minus the hangover.”

Andy grinned. “Only if you’ll sing like that sober. I’m gonna need to see that performance again.”

“Andy!”

#major crimes #major crimes fanfiction #shandy #mikuscfanfic

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kai-zers · 6 years ago

Text

Drarry, Auror au and a multitude of miscommunication issues.

so this is @treacletvrts ‘s fault, as is many of the myriad of au’s we had in multiple fandoms and istg she’s to blame because tbh with y’all this has no cohesive thought at all so yup, I have no words other than these.

PS: I have no idea how tumblr works because I am a noob that has no idea how this godforsaken site works despite the years I spent lurking here so expect crappy posts like these.

This was also a race against my overheating laptop jesus christ tHIS WAS A STRUGGLE

Yup, let’s set the scene, but the rest is in read under because this would probably get long.

Harry and Draco are trainee aurors, or aurors already timelines be damned

pining, a lot of it.

YOU KNOW IT

everyone and their ancestor portraits knew, okay.

Draco and subtlety didn’t exactly come in one package

but oh my god, circe’s tits, and whomever else they use in place of jesus christ, Harry doesn’t know.

Obviously, Harry wasn’t a Ravenclaw for nothing.

Draco thought Harry knew, but plot twist, your favourite boy who lived doesn’t.

Shocker.

Draco assumes that Harry knew and actually thought that since Harry hasn’t distanced himself or changed the way he treated Draco at this point, Draco legitimately thought he had a chance at Saint Potty himself.

This is a usual topic between his, Blaise’s, Pansy’s and Theo’s get togethers.

‘you’d think five years post hogwarts we’d never hear Draco say Potter again, but I guess not.’ probably Theo tbh

Pansy is close to pulling at her own hair in frustration

‘I shouldn’t have left Milan for this weekend.’ Blaise, shaking his head

Potter and Malfoy in the same mission? and they’re both alive? and the perp is caught in record time? Impeccable paperwork?

Call the Prophet

anyways, their first mission and a handful succeeding that were a success.

They are both star Aurors, and work as an amazing team

One mission they were both assigned to had a bit of a scuffle, they had to hide in a tiny closet, their faces really close

Oh Merlin, is this Draco’s chance?

Nope, since Harry had tried to distance himself as far away from Draco as far as he physically could in that situation

Draco knows how to read a room, and that definitely was an indication of ‘sTAY AWAY FROM ME’ from Harry

Harry, on the other hand, is having issues with himself

He’s scared of coming into terms that he ‘might actually possibly have a bit of attraction towards guys’ and he is panicking

Well, if I had spent my years in puberty being chased by a madman, tbvfh with you, that’d be the last thing on my mind too

so fast forward to them celebrating a major case being solved

DRANKS.

Harry has a preference for muggle alcohol because have you had a shit of Cuervo, that stuff makes MY alter ego come out.

Draco doesn’t drink often, he prefers to savour his wine, thank you very much.

he’s just a lightweight hahaha

so Harry is pissed.

like majorly pissed to the point where he’s seated on someone’s lap already, yelling at the top of his lungs about something to someone

A lot of jeering and what not happens, Harry’s insecurities get the better of him and he tries to hook up with a girl that night

much to Draco’s chagrin.

He is watching this happen sober, poor thing.

but Harry isn’t getting any action tonight, turning the girl down instead, murmuring something about it not feeling right

Draco takes the initiative to tell Harry that he’s had too much, and he’ll side along him to Grimmauld if he wanted to

Harry agrees, and it takes a lot of rearranging for Draco to make sure that Harry doesn’t get splinched in the whole shebang back home

They get to Grimmauld place, and its actually clean

Draco shaking Harry awake so he could take him to his room to rest

they make their way up the stairs, and Harry is giggling because he keeps slipping and would’ve probably died an untimely death due to refusing to take his socks off a flight of laquered hard wood stairs

and once they reach the door of Harry’s room, Harry tries to make a move on Draco

He’s cupping Draco’s pale cheek in one hand, staring at his lips despite the haze of the alcohol

but Draco pulls away.

((YES DRACO KNOW YOUR WORTH))

Draco is hurt, because Harry would only dare touch him while he’s pissed off his arse like this

“Oh Merlin, Harry, don’t do this to me.” he hisses, as he drags Harry into the room.

“Wha?” and then Harry is dropped onto his bed with Draco removing his robes so he could sleep better

“Stay with me.” Harry slurred out, but Draco could only shake his head.

“For fuck’s sake, what was I thinking when I thought you were actually different? You’re just as cruel as everyone else is.”

fuck me that legitimately hurt me when I typed that one out

harry turns over, staring at Draco as best he could without his glasses

Draco’s just murmuring to himself, wiping at his face hurriedly because oh no, here come the waterworks.

“I’m giving up on you, and that is final.”

Draco says it more to himself than to Harry, but Harry hears it, and he’s not sure if its real or nah

He takes the liberty of flooing back to his estate, just to see Blaise and Pansy already lounging in his couch.

bold of you to assume the Malfoys didn’t invest in real estate, jk tho.

its been years since anyone has been back at the Manor, with Narcissa being in France and Draco in this smaller estate

Pansy takes one good look at Draco’s face and pats the space between her and Blaise and takes a pillow on her lap

Theo takes in the entire scene and just goes back into the kitchen, wine seems to be a better choice than tea at the moment

Draco plops down on the couch, burying his face into the throw pillow on Pansy’s lap

“There, there, pet.” She offers, though her perpetually ruby lips are already in a frown.

Blaise just takes Draco’s legs to lay them over his thighs, hands lingering on Draco’s knee

“Is this a bad time to say I told you so?”

Theo just sits wordlessly on the floor, leaning his head on Draco’s belly

I WANT THEM TO CUDDLE OKAY FIGHT ME

“Draco, Darling, what’s wrong? What’d Potty do?”

“I thought he was different, Pans. I thought I had a chance. I thought he may love me someday.”

shet, ma. I’m sorry.

Harry still doesn’t know if Draco was real or not, but the following weekend, he finds out that Ron has been assigned as his partner.

Draco requested for a partner change, and has been actively avoiding Harry in the office.

of course, like with any romcom gone wrong, it is only now that Saint Potter realises that ‘hmm, something is up.’

He also realises how much of a better team he and Draco made, compared to him and Ron, because nobody got the paperwork done between them

Harry realises that he misses Draco as a partner

but Draco somehow had the luck of being assigned solo cases that needed to be stationed really far away

the months following the partner reassignment, he manages to see Draco merely three times, and in those three times, Draco had only nodded at him.

This is where Harry realises: i have fucked up

Of course Harry attempts to talk or confront Draco about the thing happening between them

“Potter, I need space, and if you are supposedly as concerned as you are showing, you will keep your nose out of my business.”

whoop, obviously Draco is mad, but Harry doesn’t know why and he’s confused because he really misses the older male, but there are issues

FAST FORWARD TO HARRY ACTUALLY ASKING FOR HELP

ron is just as helpless as he is, hermione is just mum because wow harry this is a major screw up

luna is the one who actually gets to the point, telling Harry, ‘yup you’re in love with him and you’ve done fucked up’

but she’s optimistic, saying, you two just need to talk

‘Draco’s a little hard to understand, but if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never get to do so.’

ANOTHER TIME JUMP YUP WE ARE JUST SAVING THIS PLOT AT THIS POINT

Draco ends with a case involving a new drug that was supposedly being manufactured at this abandoned ship at some port

((i think its obvious I am not from the British Isles at this point okay plus this was done in an hour, liberties were taken and I am not sorry))

He gets ambushed and ends up getting chained to something he can’t get out of himself because he’s drugged and wandless, so no wandless magic

Harry gets suspicious that Draco’s partner gets back unscathed, but Draco is nowhere to be found

He grills the other auror for info and apparates to the ship, where whoop, it is on fire.

oh no.

cue on Harry’s gryffindor lack of self-preservation, where hE STILL GOES INTO THE SHIP TO FIND DRACO

he does find Draco, but idk the ship breaks, structural integrity is getting weak so he doesnt reach Draco in time

BUT HE DIVES IN NONETHELESS

and sees Draco struggling to breathe and get out of his bounds

He spells off the cuffs, and drags Draco to the surface, and proceeds to send a patronus to Hermione

Hermione’s a healer in this au, okay

Draco is turning blue, and to say that Harry was panicking was an understatement

He’s not breathing either, even with Harry’s attempts at CPR

Hermione arrives and does the wizarding equivalent of using a defibrillator

????

yup I guess we’ll go with that for now and she also does a bunch of other stuff

Draco’s finally coughing all the water out his lungs, he’s breathing, albeit a little shallow and shaky at best

Hermione calls for back up because she can’t apparate them both, and Harry’s trembling--from the cold, or the adrenaline subsiding in his blood, but he wasn’t letting go of Draco’s hand

even when he was getting wheeled into the ER at St. Mungo’s, Hermione had to physically pry his hands off

‘he’s safe now, Harry. Let me have a look at you, now.’

Harry wants to say that he’s fine but he did jump into the sea in the middle of fucking winter, and the look Hermione is giving him is absolutely terrifying so he relents, murmuring that they should be tending to Draco instead

‘They are, and I need to tend to you now because I know you’ll scare off any other healer I ask to check up on you.’

Harry’s changed into warmer clothes, and he’s got a cup of tea in his hands to warm them

they’re still shaking, he doesn’t understand why the fuck he can’t calm down and puts it down

He just starts crying.

The build-up of months of stress and the day’s events was too much for him to handle

‘Fuck, ‘Mione, I saw him turn blue. He wasn’t breathing, I couldn’t get him to breathe.’

‘He’s alive Harry, Draco’ll be okay.’

‘You don’t understand, I felt him die, ‘Mione.’

Of course, out of all people, Harry would understand how it feels to tap dance with death

Hermione just comforts him, willing away the tears in her eyes because it feels like this is the one time she can’t help Harry at all.

Ron just skids into the hall, and sees Hermione and Harry, and hugs them both without a word

back to draco, who has been under observation for a good two days and has finally woken up

he sees Harry tucked into himself in the frankly ugly leather sofa by the window, head lolling forwards and back enough

Draco pulls himself up and groans, remembering how he got is ass handed to him in that ship and staring at the yellowing bruises on his arms

Harry suddenly lets out a snore, which makes Draco snort but oh no what is in his nose

‘Circe’s tits, that fucking hurt.’ and he’s coughing up a storm enough to wake Harry up, who stares at him for a few seconds before he’s on his feet and pouring him a glass of water

‘What else do you need? the loo? food?’

‘A healer.’

‘oh. yes. yes, need to tell them you’re awake.’

‘Potter.--Potter!’ Draco manages to call after him before he got too far off

‘what happened.’

Harry explains what happened, the ship, traces of a drug in his system, almost drowning and what not

‘I’ll get someone, yup.’

Draco just shakes his head because he knew Harry was keeping something from him, but lets it go

he gets an extensive check up procedure, which is peculiar because this has been the first time they have been this attentive to his vitals

he needed to stay for a few more days for monitoring, which is weird to Draco because I just fell into the ocean what is the big deal

A nurse comments offhandedly that he’s lucky that he survived drowning and near hypothermia

‘excuse me what’

‘From what I’ve heard, and judging from your vitals, you were minutes away from death’

‘enlighten me.’

‘Healer granger had to revive you using a spell she developed based off of Muggle Tech, she had to shock your heart.’

‘I was dead?’

‘you should’ve seen auror potter, he wouldn’t leave until your vitals stabilised. Healer Granger couldn’t even heal him properly so she had to administer a sleeping draught so he could finally rest.’

‘oh.’

hermione walks in, ‘oh, indeed.’

"I sent him home, if you were wondering.” Hermione says.

Hermione seemed to be able to read his expression, as she had just provided him with what he needed.

"He'd been sleeping here three days and that isn't doing anything for his injuries. Refused to get checked, so I just healed him so he'd actually go to sleep in a proper bed."

"So how are you feeling?" Hermione asked, already waving her wand as a quill hovered behind her, the quiet scratching against parchment, the only sound in Draco's room aside from his steadily better breathing.

"Oh that's good. We managed to drain all the water from your lungs, no tingling in any of your limbs?"

Draco shook his head.

"No symptoms of hypothermia either." Hermione murmured a lumos under her breath, asking him to follow it and observing his eye movement.

Draco is just overwhelmed at this point, because this is the second day he had to endure these tests and Granger was terribly much detailed than the other healers

"You're almost well enough to be discharged, but I'll check you again tomorrow." She replied curtly, tucking her wand into her sleeve and the clipboard into her arm.

"Granger." Draco called, just as Hermione was about to leave the room. "Thank you, for saving my life. You have my thanks."

Hermione nodded, almost smiling at him.

"Quite frankly, Malfoy, if Harry hadn't found your body, there wouldnt have been anyone to save, but you're still welcome."

draco is just dumbfounded in his bed, again.

The following day he gets the go signal to be discharged as soon as hermione finished her check up spells, and blaise and pansy were to pick him up

But harry manages to catch him just as he got dressed, immediately flushing as Draco's silent gaze fell onto him.

"H-hullo Malfoy, how are you doing?"

OF ALL THE THINGS HARRY HAD TO SAY. HULLO.

‘Better.’

brace yourselves dace and i just ran thru this, dialogue is subpar at best, but wow they are finally communicating.

amazing.

"Uhm, that's it. I'll uh--i'll find hermione."

Draco rolled his eyes, calling out to him. "Potter."

"Uhm, ye...yes Malfoy?"

"Thank you. For finding me. If it weren't for you," draco breathed out, thankfully smoothly this time. "And granger, i'd be as good as fully dead."

Harry instantaneously lit up and frowned at the same time."Of course, Malfoy."

Harry nodded. "Anything for you." He murmured under his breath, before turning away.

As soon as Draco was left to his own devices--tightening the laces on his boots, basically anything to just pass the time as Blaise and Pansy were just perpetually late--he heard Harry's god awful sneakers skid in the hallway and enter his room again.

"What is it, Potter, already come back for me to repay my debts?" He asked boredly, leaning back onto the hospital bed.

oh lord. Harry looked terrible.

Harry looked like he was about to throw up--green eyes erratic, lower lip between his teeth as he gnawed on to, hands shaky as he stuffed back into his pocket jacket, and out again.

"Please don't give up on me." He whispered, catching Draco by surprise.

"What?"

"The night you helped me get back home. I thought I was just too pissed on Tequila that I didn't even think you were real--"

draco's clamming up on himself, his arms are crossed, face guarded as Harry stood before him as his complete opposite, his vivid green eyes almost desperate as his lip wobbled.

"But I've died twice, Draco. I can tell apart what’s real and the pigment of my pissed brain."

"I'm sorry if you think I was cruel--if I hurt you without realising it, I'm sorry, please, please just don't give up on me just yet."

Draco is for a lack of a better word--Gobsmacked.

the boy who lived--no, that applies to them both now--is in his hospital room, in the verge of tears and looked like he was a sentence away from passing out.

"I'm sorry Draco," Harry trailed off, his voice breaking as he said Draco's name and using his hoodie sleeves to wipe at his cheeks as the tears rolled down.

"I was scared, and I didn't know it was okay to like blokes, I didn't know it was okay to like you, but I've ruined it, haven't I?"

Draco's heart is in pieces at this point tbh

The first time he hears his name from Harry's lips, Harry's crying.

Draco sees Blaise at the corner at the corner, but luckily the other male was able to read the room and quickly dragged Pansy away, her retort lowering in volume as they went farther down the hall

"I'm sorry--fuck, i'm sorry for wasting your time." Harry said, sniffing as he wiped his face on his sleeve, running a hand thru the wild tangle of curls on his head.

"Just ignore whatever I said. Get well, Malfoy."

i am: weak for curly haired Harry okay, humour me.

Circe, Draco thought, this is just getting painful to watch.

Because it seemed like he was being the wanker, making Harry cry even when the oblivious jackass was the one that started this whole fiasco

And Draco couldnt find it in himself to cut into Harry's blubbering at all.

"Circe's tits, stop with the blubbering, Potter."

Oops. Not the best choice of words.

"What?"

Draco just stood up, and met Harry halfway and cupped his cheeks to press their lips together, mostly just to shut him up.

oh, wow.

Draco could get used to this, and Harry let out a choked sound that was akin to a gasp and a whimper before he kissed back.

[[long, winded make out scene i am sorry i am terrible at those, I’ll leave it to your imaginations]]

Draco just says, "bring me home, harry."

And just shoos blaise and pansy off.

Which gets him the finger from pansy and a judgmental eyebrow from blaise

‘I make arrangements for a portkey at the last minute and this is what we get?’

‘at least it will make the cease of Draco’s whining.’

Pansy and blaise respectively

Both Harry and Draco spend their days in Draco’s estate just cuddling, and okay fine making out.

They finally talk and clear things out.

and Harry finally feels a moment of peace after nearly 25 years of being chased by a murderous madman and multiple criminals

no hanky panky yet jesus draco died ffs

The following week, someone just yells from Draco’s floo.

and it’s loud enough to hear in the second floor in Draco’s bedroom.

"I know you died Malfoy, but you have to come to work."

its robards.

he’s two aurors short, and they’re his best aurors.

"Please bring Potter too, just because you two have died doesnt mean you can escape the paperwork. "

Harry groans, while Draco merely laughs though its muffled against Harry's shirt, where his face is currenly buried into.

and they lived.

i guess

THEY COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY NOW

#drarry #drarry squad #draco malfoy #harry potter

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sighingtirf · 7 years ago

Text

Y’all it’s so wild how discussions of transphobia are constantly centered around trans women, and anything that actually focuses on trans men (when it isn’t demonizing and silencing them) is just stuff like “you’re allowed to be feminine uwu” or “your pronouns are valid!” or “your body is beautiful no matter what it looks like”.

When people only focus on the violent transphobia that trans women face, when discussions of transphobia forcefully exclude trans men despite the topic in question effecting both trans women AND trans men, it’s no wonder people are going to think it’s at all acceptable to talk about how trans women have it worse and trans men have “masc privilege” and whatnot.

Not to mention, any violence trans men face pre-transition is written off as “misdirected misogyny” and treated as unimportant or a “whoopsie”, and no one bothers to look into it or take it into account. In fact, the violence and mistreatment trans men face pre-transition is treated as even more evidence that trans women have it worse, because if that mistreatment is viewed as “misdirected oppression towards anyone who identifies as a woman”, that includes trans women and excludes trans men.

Not even taking into account all the “misdirected misogyny” I faced, let’s go over the specific transphobia I’ve been through, despite only being out as a trans guy for four years, rarely leaving my house except to go to a very liberal and accepting arts school the first two years, rarely leaving my house at all the last two years, and having a very nice and accepting family.

For the sake of brevity and simplicity (due to the fact that before I came out, most of what I’ve been through would be labeled “misidrected misogyny” or would be nearly indistinguishable from ways GNC girls are treated), I’ll stick to things that have happened since coming out.

(quick clarification before I start: I was at a public school for a short time in this time period, but most of my time was at the arts school)

Someone who was my friend since 6th grade (who ngl, was a pretty shitty friend considering she was constantly hitting me and calling me worthless and embarrassing and annoying etc.) started screaming at me in front of the whole school. Yelling at me for wanting a sex change, and for liking girls.

Not too long after this, I got messages from an ex boyfriend of mine, threatening violence on me if I went through with a sex change.

People at my school would regularly come up to me and start harassing me about me “wanting to be a boy” (they would also consistently harass me for liking girls, but that’s a matter for another post).

One of my closest friend’s exes started talking to me for the first time after finding out I was a trans guy, sending me a lot of sexual messages and being suddenly interested in dating me.

When I went to a behavioral health hospital because of suicidal ideations, the moment a boy there discovered I was a trans guy, he would constantly touch me and run his hand up my thigh before I had time / ability to pull away etc.

Whenever I’d tell a man that I’m a boy, the typical reaction would be to give a long hard stare at my breasts.

When I was 15, after finding out I was a trans guy, an adult started sending me intimate details about their sex life.

Once a week, a group of pro-lifers would be protesting outside my school. Whenever I walked by, they’d harass and misgender me (as well as other friends of mine who were trans men).

An ex boyfriend of mine (a different one than the one I mentioned before) messaged me asking all these intrusive questions about my genitals, sexualizing me and saying how he’d still love to go out with me if I had a vagina, etc.

While I already had more than enough instances of people making invasive and inappropriate questions about my genitals and sex life, one that really stands in my mind is when someone did that to me at church. This someone was an young adult, and also the boyfriend of a woman I’d had a crush on for as long as I could remember. In front of her, my ex, and I believe some other people, he asked very graphic and embarrassing details about my genitals and I was so shocked and embarrassed I could do nothing but answer to the best of my ability.

There were plenty of instances of transphobia I faced from staff members in hospitals, and I won’t mention every single one, but a general synopsis is staff members stopping everything to rudely point out that I’m “not actually a boy”. It was to the point where I was self-harming inside of the behavior health hospitals, a place I’d gone to for help with my suicidal tendencies. They treated another trans guy I saw there like that, too.

I briefly had a teacher who was known for targeting the trans men in her class and misgendering them and being very rude to them. Unsurprisingly, she was rude to me and didn’t actually teach me anything, ignoring me and focusing on the other students in her class.

During another hospital stay, the psychiatrist assigned to me would blame all of my mental health problems on my HRT. All he knew was that I took HRT. He silenced me and spoke over me when I tried to explain to him what was actually going on and how I knew that that wasn’t the case. At one point he yelled at me, which can be pretty damn scary in a small room alone with an older cis man who has complete power over you.

When I went to visit relatives, I got stopped at airport security because my body was “suspicious” because I’d said I was a man but I “clearly wasn’t”. I got publicly groped as they “checked things out”.

I got called the f slur on multiple occasions.

A friend’s trans girlfriend groped me because she was “curious about how it felt”, then lied about it and victim-blamed me and intimidated me (and her girlfriend) about it later.

I was taking a walk at the local park, and this guy approached me. We chatted for a bit, then he said he knew what my sex really was. Thankfully he left and didn’t do anything to me, but I was terrified.

In this specific example, I don’t know if it was transphobia or “misdirected misogyny”, but I know that I was passing a fair amount of the time by then, and most of the time when I wasn’t people still made it obvious that they knew I was trans. Anyways, while I was at the park, an adult man preyed on and molested me, and I was very nearly trafficked.

A separate time, I decided to take a walk around the park at night. An older man approached me and told me about how he could tell I was trans, and what a great prostitute I would make, and how he’d be totally down for having sex with me etc.

Last park story I swear, and this is at a different park, but while I was swinging, a guy approached me. He started talking about trans people getting violently raped, and about the time he beat up the woman who yelled at him to pay child support, and about the fact that he knew I was trans, and then he started hitting on me.

Dear God okay I won’t get too deep into this, but long story short I had a partner who would make fun of my body and all the changes HRT was making, made me feel like shit about it. Sexualized me, raped me. Coerced me into shaving my legs and putting on makeup. Etc. It wasn’t a fun time.

This is all just off the top of my head, and it’s not even getting into all the ways I’ve been treated within the trans community, or all the inherent pain and loneliness and dysphoria that comes with being trans.

#transphobia #afab privilege #trans masc privilege #trans male privilege #misdirected misogyny #trixy talks

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