#just having a lot of thought rn

[spicyraeman]

Really wish aro and ace weren't so closely packed together all the time, like I get that a lot of people are both but I really think its important to talk about them as two separate things as well and not just as a package deal

[heartorbit]

happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇

[proxycrit]

What if I redesigned some horses to fit MY favorite narrative trope: fallen gods and forgotten myths of old? Anyways.

Twilight’s mentor is a strange one. In a world of twilit planes forever shrouded in mystery, the older unicorn Lest and her adopted student Twilight are one in many common travelers, migrating the pitted wastelands and eeking survival within settlements that spring up around the glowing meteor shards. Despite living with Lest for the last four years, Twilight can’t help but seek answers to where her brother has gone— and in the process, perhaps dig a bit too deeply into the complexities of gods far older and dangerous then she can truly fathom.

On the otherhand, Celestia “Lest” Sol is having a terrible millenium. Her sister is no longer her sister, her student teleported herself halfway across the continent, and she got herself kidnapped by an old rival trying to attune with the elements of harmony to overthrow the current ruler of Equestria.

At least she gets a toxic yuri moment.

Meanwhile, Chrysalis is having a great time. She’s got kingdoms to conquer and people to feed and a waning god to taunt.

(The Selene Grace hates the sun monarch they deposed five centuries ago as they stay chained to their post, keeping the lunar and solar bodies from crashing into each other. Luna misses her sister, and the easier world where they haven’t hurt each other beyond reparation. Nightmare Moon misses their monstrosity, trapped in a host who’s grief has poisoned them with empathy.

Things are bound to tip. The celestial bodies are not bodies, but prisons, and the amalgamations we call alicorns the key. And something desperately wants to be freed…)

Anyways:

My mane 6 redesign here!

And my luna and celestia redesigns here!

[teh-inggris]

I need to chew both of them like a stress toy

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.

or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.

regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.

it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.

if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.

i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.

[heph]

It's so interesting how submissive House is to Wilson. In basically every scene where Wilson gives his 2 cents about a case, House without fail (for the most part) follows his opinion. Wilson gives him unsolicited advice and half the time he listens without saying anything, and the other half he argues but ends up listening to him anyway. House starts psychoanalysing Wilson and Wilson does it right back to him and House shuts the fuck up or gives a one line quip back at him (to have the last line) but knows deep down Wilson is right.

For a man of House's stature and how he interacts with Literally Everyone Else, the writers really hammer it into your soul that House only really listens to Wilson and no one else

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

(Curious because I have 4 (this is my main one but I had a tumblr once before and realized putting all my obsessions in one blog doesn't really work for me))

[stealingyourbones]

Gonna start making another DPXDC writing challenge where I’ll make a bingo card generation that contains super popular tropes in the fandom.

The goal is to not write said tropes. Bingo of tropes to avoid and even more of a bonus if you do a blackout board on the tropes you didn’t do.

Reply with the most common DPxDC tropes ya can think of so I can add them to the Blackout Bingo List :)

[surreal-duck]

live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)

cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥

[orcelito]

ok, i cant resist the urge to make a post about it after all, especially since it's related to a post i made prior

one of my favorite moments in trimax is By Far this part in chapter 35

[ID: Two pages from Trigun. The first starts with Wolfwood thinking, "Now that I think 'bout it, it may be one of the major differences between our species." That deep rooted dear I felt on the ship…" He thinks of Vash crying blood and, swearing, wonders, "Is he the one who can save humankind? That monster?" Wolfwood is briefly shown in resolution before someone calls, "Hey, Wolfwood!" and he looks up with surprise.

Vash sits with a smile at the edge of a rooftop, backed by the Fifth Moon and its prominent crater. Vash asks with a smile, "Just coming back now? You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" Wolfwood looks taken aback and wary. End ID]

Right Here. Vash is just sitting there, smiling like normal, but he's got the backdrop of the damage he caused on the moon set Perfectly behind him. it's a glaring reminder to Wolfwood of who exactly he's dealing with here, and that TERRIFIES him.

& the fact that Wolfwood still remembers that moment of crying blood as a moment of true fear. because for all the cheer Vash shows in the average moment, Wolfwood just recently saw him nearly lose control Again (at the Dragon's Nest). the second time he witnessed it, & the third time he would know about.

Vash is a walking atomic bomb with multiple charges. even with how cheerful & kind he is, he's shown Multiple Times that he does not have full control. he is decidedly something different, something Hazardous to humans, and Wolfwood knows this very very painfully.

for all that Wolfwood loves Vash, he is also terrified of him. and at this point in the story, that terror is potent enough to nearly eclipse his affection for Vash.

leading to some of the next most iconic pages:

[ID: The next page starts with Wolfwood standing behind the sitting Vash, his expression hard and the moon bright behind him. Vash seems sad and has one eye open. A close-up focuses on Wolfwood looking down.

Wolfwood thinks, "So easy to pull the trigger. So easy to remove half the problem." Another close-up with bright lighting obscures his face but for one eye. Then Vash turns around curiously and asks, "What's up?" Wolfwood sits behind him and says "Nothin'. Come on. Let's go." Vash seems surprised as Wolfwood scolds, "Don't get yerself tangled up in every little skirmish ya see. It'll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him." End ID]

the manga frames it like Vash doesn't know Wolfwood was pointing the gun at him, but I think he did know. he's freakishly perceptive over and over again throughout the story. he HAS to be in order to survive like he has. he'd hear the movement of the gun & sense Wolfwood behind him...

he'd know. i really think he knew.

but he doesn't do anything about it. there is zero fear in his face. he turns to look at Wolfwood curiously, a bit confused, but not afraid. he never once thought that Wolfwood would shoot him. there's full faith and trust there in that moment.

Wolfwood pretends that nothing happened, & Vash lets him. they both move on, not talking about it, because they never talk about Anything of substance like this (not until much, Much later).

overall, it's just such a great example of their relationship's development. Wolfwood's fear & Vash's trust that he won't act on it... it's just. Man.

(EDIT: people have made some good points about how Vash's expression when Wolfwood points the gun at him shows that he probably did know and YEAH that's a good point! & probably why I was so certain he knew lol, I just hadn't realized it myself)

[cometblaster2070]

you think in epic winter, after apple finds daring in his beast form, that entire scene takes place where she tries to kiss him to see if it'll break the curse or whatever, and then he runs off.

you think apple went and told someone about that like "hey I just saw daring and he's a BEAST what's up with that?????"

i'd like to imagine she went to raven and was like "yk I love you adore you and ik you've basically mastered your magic now but PLEASE don't tell me you accidentally cursed daring" and raven is CLUELESS

it's even funnier if she tried to go to DARLING to talk about this like "hey yes your brother my ex-destined prince is cursed to be a beast now and he asked me to kiss him and that flopped REAL bad what should we do??"

and darling, whose roommate is meant to be the beauty in beauty and the beast is like WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE.

but in all fairness, after the events of dragon games, I wouldn't blame apple if she just went "I'm sure we can sort this out later" and decided not to give 2 shits about the matter because she's already got a LOT to process right now.

[marshmallowgoop]

I've lived different lives

The Shinichi-POV AMV I edited to pair with my Heiji-POV AMV for COMPASS: A HeiShin Anthology, which you can download for free and read all about @haidocityzines!

Like Heiji's video, Shinichi's also uses a song by Fly By Midnight, "Different Lives," which took all of one listen for me to want to make a HeiShin AMV set to it. The zine includes a short essay with more details and thoughts, but to expand a little, in the time since I finished this video, I've written about what I think would be "the most narratively tragic ending for HeiShin," arguing that it would be either of them dying:

Shinichi becomes Conan because he does not rely on others or ask for help. (After all, if he trusted Ran to follow Vodka with him, there’s no way events would have carried out like they do.) Through being Conan, he’s somewhat forced to rely on others and ask for help, but when it comes to Heiji, it’s really a choice. He wants to investigate cases together. He wants Heiji to help him. So, if Heiji were to die in a case or in the fight against the Black Organization, I could see Shinichi falling back into his pre-Conan days. Relying on Heiji and trusting him got him killed. It’s better to do things alone, to not let anyone in. The progress Shinichi’s made throughout the series would be undone.

And that's something I was going for with the video, too. Shinichi is terrified of losing his loved ones, but there's a different level of terrified when it comes to losing Heiji. Because Heiji is someone he trusts. Heiji is someone he lets in. To lose that would be debilitating. Render him hopeless.

Because that's another thing about Heiji: he's hope. His alcohol (Episodes 48-49) serves as the first cure to APTX 4869. It gives Shinichi, literally, the first taste of victory—of undoing the poison, of taking the Organization down. Shinichi's life was so different before Heiji, and to be left without him... that's unfathomable. Terrifying.

Ramblings aside, this AMV can also be viewed on YouTube, in full 1080p and with optional subtitles, here!

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[reddamselette]

valgrace except it’s after a quest. leo returned with annabeth and clarisse, strength and wisdom, wisdom and fire, they were the perfect candidates. they celebrated as always with laurel wreaths and bonfires with stories and games but leo was growing paler by the second. his head pounded with a killer migraine, he was sick to his stomach, he couldn’t think clearly.

the few who noticed asked if he was alright and he nodded, said “yeah! i’m fine, don’t worry” and moved on. but his movements were sluggish, he kept dissociating, his vision blurred and refocused, he felt hot like the fire surging through his body was trying to burst.

it wasn’t until piper and jason came by to talk to him, to see him and check on him that leo excused himself with a slurred apology before the world went black and he collapsed. jason caught him, his heart beating in a wild, sporadic rhythm as he carried leo to the infirmary with piper.

the son of jupiter was worried, piper stayed at their side with teary eyes because leo looked terrible. neither of them left or slept, sporting dark circles and napped for ten minutes or so, waking up in a cycle to make sure leo was breathing.

but they were relieved when leo woke up. hugged him tightly only to apologized when will told them to be careful, he needed rest and recovery. yet they couldn’t have foretold leo wouldn’t remember who they were. thinking it was a joke he wanted to play, they laughed it off but leo was serious. in his eyes, jason and piper were strangers. and leo couldn’t understand why jason appeared so heartbroken, why piper held jason’s hand in comfort.

[pickgle]

[mueritos]

trying to be more accepting of the likelihood I am autistic, I feel ive been having this constant back and forth conversation with myself for the past 2 years about it. "you can go to school, be a therapist for people, run errands, win awards, and somehow fit 2 jobs into all of that" and I use that as proof that I am NOT autistic...however, realizing i lose an entire weekend for a trip? distress. fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and leaves me trembling, crying, and forced to recover? oh boy i wonder why that happened. feeling confused and like i'm constantly missing something when people express themselves in class or in the workplace? hm, it's almost as if I struggle to not take their language literally.

i don't think i've ever been allowed to be "disabled" by whatever neurodivergency and its symptomology, like, ever. god speed any other neurodivergent children of immigrants, but i don't feel allowed to let any cluster of disturbances or schedule changes or social conundrums disable me. I mean, they can affect me privately, where I am forced to stim and cry and process all on my own. But unfortunately i cannot look like the misshapen freak I feel I am, or well, as least not appear so in a socially unacceptable way.

it's funny i carry so much shame. i am unmasking in ways i never thought i could. i am allowing myself to take things literally with people, and I am allowing myself to ask more questions. "what did you mean by that?" "why did you use that word to describe that?" "can you rephrase that?" it's funnier that I am at such a queer and neurodiverse internship; nearly all of the other clinical staff have some sort of diagnosis (usually adhd/ocd/with flavors of trauma), and we all serve a population of the queerest and most neurodiverse students. i feel SO happy when I see a student and they refuse to make eye contact with me, because I take it as an invitation to NOT look them in the eye too! i tell students during our sessions feel free to stim, here's a weighted plushie you can hold, sit where you like, would you like to pace, should I dim the lights? it is even funnier that i am a neurodivergent clinician working with neurodivergent people, and half the time I dont even follow the same advice I give my clients!

i worry about what my life will look like when i've graduated. my master's will say, "hey, this guy is a clinical social worker and is now ready to be your therapist! or caseworker! whatever they have you people do nowadays!" and I don't think i feel ready to enter any workforce. how on earth will i manage my life and wellbeing doing this 40 hours a week? like wtf? ugh.

i dunno. these r just rambles and perhaps im just seeking some sort of comfort from other autistic people, especially because it feels like i have very few autistic people in my life. i know a lot of the validation i seek will be "resolved" if i seek out an official diagnosis, but I don't have time or $ for that. nor do I think I want one for a number of reasons. I should just continue working on my own self-esteem when it comes to most likely being autistic.

oh well