#just having a lot of thought rn
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Really wish aro and ace weren't so closely packed together all the time, like I get that a lot of people are both but I really think its important to talk about them as two separate things as well and not just as a package deal
#just having a lot of thought rn#aromantism is very rarely talked about alone outside of aro/ace conversations#and if i had heard of it earlier in my life it would have helped a lot#instead of feeling like i was broken or weird and grasping at straws about something that came so easily to my peers
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
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What if I redesigned some horses to fit MY favorite narrative trope: fallen gods and forgotten myths of old? Anyways.
Twilight’s mentor is a strange one. In a world of twilit planes forever shrouded in mystery, the older unicorn Lest and her adopted student Twilight are one in many common travelers, migrating the pitted wastelands and eeking survival within settlements that spring up around the glowing meteor shards. Despite living with Lest for the last four years, Twilight can’t help but seek answers to where her brother has gone— and in the process, perhaps dig a bit too deeply into the complexities of gods far older and dangerous then she can truly fathom.
On the otherhand, Celestia “Lest” Sol is having a terrible millenium. Her sister is no longer her sister, her student teleported herself halfway across the continent, and she got herself kidnapped by an old rival trying to attune with the elements of harmony to overthrow the current ruler of Equestria.
At least she gets a toxic yuri moment.
Meanwhile, Chrysalis is having a great time. She’s got kingdoms to conquer and people to feed and a waning god to taunt.
(The Selene Grace hates the sun monarch they deposed five centuries ago as they stay chained to their post, keeping the lunar and solar bodies from crashing into each other. Luna misses her sister, and the easier world where they haven’t hurt each other beyond reparation. Nightmare Moon misses their monstrosity, trapped in a host who’s grief has poisoned them with empathy.
Things are bound to tip. The celestial bodies are not bodies, but prisons, and the amalgamations we call alicorns the key. And something desperately wants to be freed…)
Anyways:
My mane 6 redesign here!
And my luna and celestia redesigns here!
#rest your weary hooves in our new found home#^pony tag nonsense!#omg what if i idly brainstorm toxic horse yuri#idk these characters beyond the first three seasons#they’re sandbox critters to me sorry if this is not lore accueate aHAHAHhahaaaa#anyways#au where celestia looses the fight with nightmare moon and ends up wandering the continent as an exiled god#luna gets her shit together but its A Struggle#and chrysalis is actually an elderitch entity similar to discord in this au (think the god of deception or something similar)#((deceptacons roll out))#celestia#luna#chrysalis#nightmaremoon wins au#critdraws#art#celestia/chrysalis#mlp au#i had to post this at somepoint and thought well now’s better then never#sorry for the sporadic posts and terrible replies life’s super busy rn but i have a lot of thoughts#i just need luna and celestia to be siblings that heal from wounding each other in terrible ways okay#and i thought ‘celestia and chrysalis would pbbly hate each other’#(neuron brain activates)#oh my god what if they hated each other#mlp#mlp redesigns#mlp celestia#mlp luna#mlp twilight sparkle#mlp chrysalis
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I need to chew both of them like a stress toy
#senart#solarballs#i hate them i hate earth (proceeds to draw only them for the rest of the day)#ANYWAY HC#earth changes his clothes a lot but he usually wears tshirts. Or he would just wear same thing until it felt uncomf to be wearing it#its either new outfit every earth day or the same fit for a whole week theres no in between#i have so many thoughts about him man why does my brain always pick these kinds of characters#AND LUNA IM SO SORRY YOUR DESIGN IS SO BLAND 😭😭 ILL DO YOU BETTER NEXT TIME#sigh i totally dont have favorites#i ll write more later man im so hungry rn i cant thinkmn
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if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.
or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.
regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.
it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.
if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.
i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.
#knitting#catkin knits#i remember one specific time back in october where i was sitting in Bible class utterly unable to stop the most horrible thoughts going#through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die.#and afterwards i sat there in the corner knitting for all i was worth. just repeating to myself 'not now. i am not killing myself now.'#and someone saw me in the corner frantically knitting and came to ask if i was ok. and asked how my mental health was.#must've been end of oct bc it was the first wednesday after i was out of psych ward. and i was having lots of thoughts about the method#i'd used for what is still my most recent suicide attempt. which was in october. and i had the means with me.#it would have been a horrible thing to do. to kill oneself at Bible class. with children around. but i wasn't in a particularly hinged stat#of mind at the time. that's approximately the only clear memory i have of that time in fact.#anyway idk why im thinking of that rn when im fine
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It's so interesting how submissive House is to Wilson. In basically every scene where Wilson gives his 2 cents about a case, House without fail (for the most part) follows his opinion. Wilson gives him unsolicited advice and half the time he listens without saying anything, and the other half he argues but ends up listening to him anyway. House starts psychoanalysing Wilson and Wilson does it right back to him and House shuts the fuck up or gives a one line quip back at him (to have the last line) but knows deep down Wilson is right.
For a man of House's stature and how he interacts with Literally Everyone Else, the writers really hammer it into your soul that House only really listens to Wilson and no one else
#i only really started noticing this after the “i am in charge of our relationship” scene and LIKE#ITS TRUE!!! WILSON IS VERY MUCH IN CHARGE#hes wrangling his little scruffy stray kitten and hes doing his best#house cannot be controlled but wilson fucking tries and is the only one who succeeds sometimes#as for things like vicodin#i think house doesnt listen to wilson for that because its a coping mechanism#its his only solace that takes away a deeply traumatic incident that happened to him#it is the only bit of control he has over that incident#and hes not gonna just let go of it#and because he doesnt mind dying a little or a lot sometimes he wont just give it up bc its hurting him#hilson#house md#heph.txt#m super sleepy rn i hope my words make sense#n i hope my text posts arent starting to get annoying bc i have so many thoughts and every time it strikes me it goes on Tumblr
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Gonna start making another DPXDC writing challenge where I’ll make a bingo card generation that contains super popular tropes in the fandom.
The goal is to not write said tropes. Bingo of tropes to avoid and even more of a bonus if you do a blackout board on the tropes you didn’t do.
Reply with the most common DPxDC tropes ya can think of so I can add them to the Blackout Bingo List :)
#mostly doing lack of tropes bc doing ONLY tropes would be hard as a lot of tropes conflict with each other and would be hard to program#or find a program that’ll do what I want (like having Demon Twins and every /Batfam pairing under the sun would be hard to manage#bones speaks#dpxdc#it’ll be blackout bingo where you’re blacking out all popular tropes#then I’m gonna do one where it’s blackout bingo board of all popular tropes.. that’ll be a bit harder as some tropes conflict XD#this is to put folks in a Situation to try to make new potential tropes or ideas they never would have thought of otherwise!#if ya put folks in a box that’s what spurr people to the most creativity or whatever the qoute is#maybe it can be one fic at a time too? idk I’m working it out and rn this is just a thought
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot 🧍♂️#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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ok, i cant resist the urge to make a post about it after all, especially since it's related to a post i made prior
one of my favorite moments in trimax is By Far this part in chapter 35
[ID: Two pages from Trigun. The first starts with Wolfwood thinking, "Now that I think 'bout it, it may be one of the major differences between our species." That deep rooted dear I felt on the ship…" He thinks of Vash crying blood and, swearing, wonders, "Is he the one who can save humankind? That monster?" Wolfwood is briefly shown in resolution before someone calls, "Hey, Wolfwood!" and he looks up with surprise.
Vash sits with a smile at the edge of a rooftop, backed by the Fifth Moon and its prominent crater. Vash asks with a smile, "Just coming back now? You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" Wolfwood looks taken aback and wary. End ID]
Right Here. Vash is just sitting there, smiling like normal, but he's got the backdrop of the damage he caused on the moon set Perfectly behind him. it's a glaring reminder to Wolfwood of who exactly he's dealing with here, and that TERRIFIES him.
& the fact that Wolfwood still remembers that moment of crying blood as a moment of true fear. because for all the cheer Vash shows in the average moment, Wolfwood just recently saw him nearly lose control Again (at the Dragon's Nest). the second time he witnessed it, & the third time he would know about.
Vash is a walking atomic bomb with multiple charges. even with how cheerful & kind he is, he's shown Multiple Times that he does not have full control. he is decidedly something different, something Hazardous to humans, and Wolfwood knows this very very painfully.
for all that Wolfwood loves Vash, he is also terrified of him. and at this point in the story, that terror is potent enough to nearly eclipse his affection for Vash.
leading to some of the next most iconic pages:
[ID: The next page starts with Wolfwood standing behind the sitting Vash, his expression hard and the moon bright behind him. Vash seems sad and has one eye open. A close-up focuses on Wolfwood looking down.
Wolfwood thinks, "So easy to pull the trigger. So easy to remove half the problem." Another close-up with bright lighting obscures his face but for one eye. Then Vash turns around curiously and asks, "What's up?" Wolfwood sits behind him and says "Nothin'. Come on. Let's go." Vash seems surprised as Wolfwood scolds, "Don't get yerself tangled up in every little skirmish ya see. It'll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him." End ID]
the manga frames it like Vash doesn't know Wolfwood was pointing the gun at him, but I think he did know. he's freakishly perceptive over and over again throughout the story. he HAS to be in order to survive like he has. he'd hear the movement of the gun & sense Wolfwood behind him...
he'd know. i really think he knew.
but he doesn't do anything about it. there is zero fear in his face. he turns to look at Wolfwood curiously, a bit confused, but not afraid. he never once thought that Wolfwood would shoot him. there's full faith and trust there in that moment.
Wolfwood pretends that nothing happened, & Vash lets him. they both move on, not talking about it, because they never talk about Anything of substance like this (not until much, Much later).
overall, it's just such a great example of their relationship's development. Wolfwood's fear & Vash's trust that he won't act on it... it's just. Man.
(EDIT: people have made some good points about how Vash's expression when Wolfwood points the gun at him shows that he probably did know and YEAH that's a good point! & probably why I was so certain he knew lol, I just hadn't realized it myself)
#speculation nation#fanny reads trigun#fanny's trigun analysis#trigun#vashwood#trigun spoilers/#granted a lot of this is personal interpretation. some ppl might assume vash had no clue & like. that'd be a fair assumption#i just think Vash is very very perceptive. and i like to think he knew & just didnt do anything about it#because he never once thought that Wolfwood would actually shoot him#sometimes a friendship can be two buds who sometimes point guns at one another#(read: wolfwood points a gun at vash and Makes vash point a gun at him)#& then they never talk about this Ever <3 very healthy communication between these two for sure#anywyas im still making my way thru the original manga rn in my reread. but here have this moment bc im obsessed with it#might have smth else to talk about too. the geo-plants thing is intriguing me. but i'll make that post later.#EDIT: image descriptions written by princess-of-purple-prose
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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valgrace except it’s after a quest. leo returned with annabeth and clarisse, strength and wisdom, wisdom and fire, they were the perfect candidates. they celebrated as always with laurel wreaths and bonfires with stories and games but leo was growing paler by the second. his head pounded with a killer migraine, he was sick to his stomach, he couldn’t think clearly.
the few who noticed asked if he was alright and he nodded, said “yeah! i’m fine, don’t worry” and moved on. but his movements were sluggish, he kept dissociating, his vision blurred and refocused, he felt hot like the fire surging through his body was trying to burst.
it wasn’t until piper and jason came by to talk to him, to see him and check on him that leo excused himself with a slurred apology before the world went black and he collapsed. jason caught him, his heart beating in a wild, sporadic rhythm as he carried leo to the infirmary with piper.
the son of jupiter was worried, piper stayed at their side with teary eyes because leo looked terrible. neither of them left or slept, sporting dark circles and napped for ten minutes or so, waking up in a cycle to make sure leo was breathing.
but they were relieved when leo woke up. hugged him tightly only to apologized when will told them to be careful, he needed rest and recovery. yet they couldn’t have foretold leo wouldn’t remember who they were. thinking it was a joke he wanted to play, they laughed it off but leo was serious. in his eyes, jason and piper were strangers. and leo couldn’t understand why jason appeared so heartbroken, why piper held jason’s hand in comfort.
#valgrace#leo valdez#jason grace#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#normally i don’t like amnesia fics unless done right#but one side effect for mtbi or a concussion is amnesia and i just thought#ykw this is perfect great parallel to when they first met too#and here we r#i would say i would make this into a oneshot but#no promises i have a lot of wips rn
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on a mission 2 try and draw everyone still :> and give them fursonas apparently. eurylochus my good friend eurylochus.... if you have no defenders i am no longer on thius planet
#hes a cow yipeeee#because of the joke u could make with helios's cattle obviously. and they eat a lot lol so the Other Joke... BUT also#bvecause bulls like whole schtick is they defend the herd and theyre not exactly like territorial they just care about the herd ya know#bvut theyre also absolutely not the first animal you think of when you think of loyal protective animals ya know? which is the same deal wi#h euylochus in epic u know?#mostly i just like cows a lot and id never properly drawn a cow furry somehow????#i have an entire folder dedicated to cole ninago as a cow kemonomimi on my FA yet ive never drawn a full cow anthro??????????#anyway. i have a lot of eurylochus thoughts but im a little drunk rn so i will not be sharing them#art#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#epic the musical#eurylochus#eurylocus epic#sfw furry
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trying to be more accepting of the likelihood I am autistic, I feel ive been having this constant back and forth conversation with myself for the past 2 years about it. "you can go to school, be a therapist for people, run errands, win awards, and somehow fit 2 jobs into all of that" and I use that as proof that I am NOT autistic...however, realizing i lose an entire weekend for a trip? distress. fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and leaves me trembling, crying, and forced to recover? oh boy i wonder why that happened. feeling confused and like i'm constantly missing something when people express themselves in class or in the workplace? hm, it's almost as if I struggle to not take their language literally.
i don't think i've ever been allowed to be "disabled" by whatever neurodivergency and its symptomology, like, ever. god speed any other neurodivergent children of immigrants, but i don't feel allowed to let any cluster of disturbances or schedule changes or social conundrums disable me. I mean, they can affect me privately, where I am forced to stim and cry and process all on my own. But unfortunately i cannot look like the misshapen freak I feel I am, or well, as least not appear so in a socially unacceptable way.
it's funny i carry so much shame. i am unmasking in ways i never thought i could. i am allowing myself to take things literally with people, and I am allowing myself to ask more questions. "what did you mean by that?" "why did you use that word to describe that?" "can you rephrase that?" it's funnier that I am at such a queer and neurodiverse internship; nearly all of the other clinical staff have some sort of diagnosis (usually adhd/ocd/with flavors of trauma), and we all serve a population of the queerest and most neurodiverse students. i feel SO happy when I see a student and they refuse to make eye contact with me, because I take it as an invitation to NOT look them in the eye too! i tell students during our sessions feel free to stim, here's a weighted plushie you can hold, sit where you like, would you like to pace, should I dim the lights? it is even funnier that i am a neurodivergent clinician working with neurodivergent people, and half the time I dont even follow the same advice I give my clients!
i worry about what my life will look like when i've graduated. my master's will say, "hey, this guy is a clinical social worker and is now ready to be your therapist! or caseworker! whatever they have you people do nowadays!" and I don't think i feel ready to enter any workforce. how on earth will i manage my life and wellbeing doing this 40 hours a week? like wtf? ugh.
i dunno. these r just rambles and perhaps im just seeking some sort of comfort from other autistic people, especially because it feels like i have very few autistic people in my life. i know a lot of the validation i seek will be "resolved" if i seek out an official diagnosis, but I don't have time or $ for that. nor do I think I want one for a number of reasons. I should just continue working on my own self-esteem when it comes to most likely being autistic.
oh well
#muerto talks#sorry for long ramble#been having lots of autistic thoughts#been making less eye contct stimming more in class#showing up in what feels comfortable to me#ive also been frustrated becaus realizations r slowly processing and i feel really fucking silly and dumb rn#because im only just now putting up hints together#whatever i think its dumb to make the autistic guy have to pick up all these social cues and hints even tho people wont just say something#but yeah either way im actually feeling really good at my internship#i think my neurotype gives me an advantage in a lot of ways#do i get triggered still like yeah#but it wont him me until well after a session is over#but whatecer#would love to hear from other autistic people who work or go to school n stuff like that
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#jean#jean gunnhildr#genshin impact#YOU CAN TRY TO REASSEMBLE THE PIECES BUT THEY WILL NEVER FIT THE SAME WAY. AND MAYBE THEY SHOULDNT.#I DONT KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE AT ALL I’M JUST GOING INSANE THINKING ABOUT THEM#GRIPPING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE. HEY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT KAEYA JEAN AND DILUC BC I SURE DO.#also not blaming diluc for the leaving btw I feel like it was necessary for him#it’s just emphasized bc of how it contributed to the change in their dynamic#I can’t always put it into words right but I have a lot of thoughts about these three.#my brain is going GSVDKDBCJHDEJDHSBDVDHWBDNHSJSBSJDGSHSBSHSB rn#also also in the ‘duties to Mond’ bit I’m also not downplaying kaeyas indecision abt choosing mondstadt/Khaenri’ah#I don’t think he’s chosen & I think he has genuine love for but also feels indebted to both places#I fully reject the ‘oh kaeyas chosen Mond fuck Khaenri’ah’ takes i hate them it’s so much more complicated than that!!#he can care about both places!!!#anyways just wanted to clear that up since I didn’t really elaborate & don’t want it to be taken like that
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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storyboards: claustrophobia
This is a more strained take on the moment of being Noor being SEEN. I’m using g/t as a metaphor. I will elaborate later
#giant tiny#size difference#gt#g/t#ocs#ben#Noor#giant#male giant#sfw gt#giant/tiny#my art#digital art#just…I have a lot of thoughts rn!#I might elaborate at some point. but I’d need an essay
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