#just got to killing eve season 4
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Phoebe Waller-Bridge is the queen of making incredible TV shows so she can pull in some element of sacrilege in the final season and I LOVE HER FOR IT OH MY GOD
#just got to killing eve season 4#I'm emotionally unwell#Phoebe waller bridge the woman that you are#my queen#fleabag#killing eve#phoebe waller bridge
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Started Killing Eve last Monday, finished it at 3:00am last night, devastated. changed forever. will never be the same.
#that might have been the best piece of media I’ve ever seen#utterly consumed my life and obliterated me it was phenomenal#I’d watch 100 more hours of them#finale spoiler*** they deserved so much more time together#they got half an episode to be happy after four seasons of build up you’re joking#and now Eve is so lost#V became her whole life#she destroyed everything else in her life and has no one else to turn to#and they killed all the members of the 12 (minus Carolyn who V should have killed when she had the chance w how she backstabbed her)#so the mission that comsumed her life is over#and the love of her life is gone#what gets me the most is that she didn’t even get to hold her#Eve kept reaching for V in the water and she couldn’t even touch her or hold her for closure#she just had to watch her fall#and either drown herself trying to grab V or choose life and resurface#it was so devastating#they literally got 30 seconds to be happy#killing Eve#killing eve season 4#killing Eve finale
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In this house we hate writers who fuck up something good by trying to change the trajectory of the story set up previously..
#I'm still upset about sally wainwright was like actually anne doesn't love ann and mariana is her true love...#also season 2 focusing on literary every fucking thing other than the ann(e)s!!!#who gives a fuck about the coal and the business it's literally the most boring part..#also Laura Neal being like eve is free now... bitch eve is just as crazy as villanelle that's what i got from the previous seasons..#and season 4 focusing on the 12! seriously who likes that part of the show!???#gentleman jack#the ann(e)s#anne lister#ann walker#sally wainwright#gentleman jack season 2#killing eve#eve polastri#villanelle#villaneve#killing eve season 4#Laura Neal#wlw#wlw shows#bad writing
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Alright, gonna rattle off some Hazbin Hotel theories just to get them out of my system:
1) The Key that Lilith gave Charlie is the key to the pearly gates, aka a way into heaven. Which is why the cat didn't like Sir Pretentious until he was redeemable and why the key is the symbol used to depict the hotel on both the logo of the show and the logo on the hotel.
2) Lilith didn't just abandon everyone to vacay in heaven. Following my previous theory, she already had the key to heaven (likely given to her by Adam as a 'please come back 🥺🥺🥺' gift). From Charlie's recounting of the story, her mom loves hell and thrives down there so I'm really not buying this whole 'retire in heaven as Adam's rebound' thing. I'm going to say that Lilith infiltrated heaven under the guise of taking back Adam and being 'the good wife' again but she is 100% using her access to heaven to pull strings and get her grand plan going. She may have to keep Lute happy next season to keep her access, but it's not because she's a turncoat, it's because she's got motives.
3) Throwing this out there: I think it has something to do with Eve! I haven't even met Eve yet but I ship Eve and Lilith. Maybe Adam had Eve locked up somewhere and Lilith is trying to free her or, maybe Eve disappeared, hence why Adam wanted a new wife and Lilith is trying to find her or something.
4) Carmilla is Eve. Yeah, so the name Carmilla means 'Garden or Orchid', Carmine means 'Song or Crimson Red', she looks EXACTLY like Lilith except with a different color palette (and she's wearing angel steel ballet shoes and gloves), she styles her hair up to look like horns but she doesn't actually have any of her own, she killed an angel, she knew all about angel weaknesses and how to kill them, she figured out how to reforge angel steel into new weapons, and, most importantly, SHE HAS TWO KIDS THAT SHE IS VERY PROTECTIVE OF.
Now, part of me wants to say that Zestial, the confirmed oldest sinner in Hell, the super powerful demon that rules over the other overlords who cares immensely about Carmilla and vice versa, is actually Cain. Cain, aka Eve's son and the first murderer (and theologically rumored to be Lucifer's child which uhhhhh, the show kinda seems to be hinting at with Lucifer implying that him and Eve had a thing?) So yeah, I like the idea that Carmilla loves her son despite his flaws and is trying to keep him safe in hell (knowing that Abel is completely fine in heaven)
But I also kinda want to say that Odette is Abel and Clara is Cain? Look, Odette is wearing a headband with demon horns sticking out of it. Her horns look fake. Also, come on, Odette and Clara?? As in the lead characters from Swan Lake and the Nutcracker?? I'm not going to get into why renaming Cain after Clara from the NUTCRACKER is hilarious as it's pretty obvious. But renaming Abel after Odette, the princess with wings who literally dies and ends up in heaven at the end of the play, is also pretty obvious ngl. So I do also kinda think that Eve and Abel were chilling in heaven and then either Abel fell or Eve got word about the annual culling of sinners, and the two of them took on fake names and reunited with Cain/Clara. Eve is determined to do whatever it takes to keep her children safe and, while she does not like participating in violence, she will kill to protect her daughters. (And potentially Zestial is Clara's father? As Cain is rumoured to be either Lucifer's child or a demon's child)
EDIT: Okay I literally just realized that in the song "Whatever it Takes" she hugs her daughters and says that she will "be their keeper" which is a play on what Cain said to God after killing Abel. God asked where Abel was and Cain said "I am not my brother's keeper." So Carmilla in that song is vowing to keep her daughters safe by preventing war with heaven and being "their keeper".
5) Adam created all of the Exorcists from his ribs. Adam mentioned that he named Vaggie which either implies that Adam is Vaggie's father or that Adam created the entire Exorcist race. Considering Lilith and Eve were both created from Adam's ribs, all the Exorcists are women, they're called 'sisters', and all of them are bone white with 'angel blood' gold eyes, I think the dude just straight up made them all with his bones! Adam even offered a plate of ribs to Charlie when he was taunting her about killing off her citizens!
Anyway, these are my Hazbin Hotel theories. Let me know what you think!
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top ten favorite hosie fics of all time, go
What a fun Ask! 🙏 Also, are you trying to kill me?! 😂
A few weeks ago, TheDarkestHour13 introduced the concept of Hope and Rafael keeping a list of “Landon’s Top 10 deaths” in Such Is Our Fate. I commented that that particular chapter (for reasons other than the deaths list) was a Top 10 chapter of the fic, though I also noted I didn’t have an actual list of my Top 10 chapters—there were approximately 120 chapters at that point. I also thought, in a related manner, that I didn’t have a “Top 10” list of Hosie fics…and perhaps that should have been my cue to start thinking about such a thing 😂
As of late June 2024 CE, there are nearly 2600 fics in the AO3 Hosie tag and I’ve been reading since the latter part of 2019…so I’ve probably read ½ to ⅔ of them…
I came up with 7 fics right away, but as I started to make links and such, I realized that 5 of those were incomplete (ongoing, but mostly either rarely updated or, practically speaking, abandoned); I don’t know what it says about me that my “top ten favorite hosie fics of all time” is full of fics that may never be finished.
But in terms of recommendations for reading, I know lots of folks will not want to start reading a work that hasn’t been updated in years and has a high likelihood of never being finished, no matter how amazing it is (or how much someone else liked it). And even for ones that are currently ongoing, it’s possible (though unlikely) that the author could do something crazy to make me hate the fic later on. So I thought I’d spin off all those works that were incomplete into a separate list and come up with 10 favorite finished fics…I could mamage that, right? As I started trying to do that…nope, that’s not done, either; that’s been abandoned 😳 oh, what about that fic? wow, how did I forget that one?! (Like I said, are you trying to kill me?! 😂)
So…to save my life (and to stop spending hours upon hours on this), the end result is about 30 fics all-told, completed and incomplete. (I further subdivided the incomplete fics into those that are updated at least once every few months and those that…aren’t 😢) They’re ordered roughly by time, with the earlier/older fics towards the tops of the lists and the more recent ones (mostly) towards the ends of the lists. Two of the fics on the “Completed” list had promised an epilogue that has never appeared, but you can read the entire story arc, so I think it’s fair to label them as complete.
So without further ado…
Completed:
it's a date (the only problem is it's fake) by avengerskye / @avengerskye
Coffee on Monday, Flowers on Friday by Redezzy
The Missing Piece by intribridsname
slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long by hackingxbiochemist
what you got (cause I want it all) by ToriWritesStories / @toriwritesstories
summer lovin' had me a blast (wait, no, that's just the leaf-blower) by AdeleDazeem
Our Last Life by taengoo1 / @taengooxlove
I'll Never Give Up Hope by O_M_Jee
HM+JS by tellingtouch
Invisible String by luthorbae
Then why's it feel so good? by callipoicepole (Killing Eve AU)
This Is Your Home by Shadowmama55 / @shadowhuntermama
Shivers (A Lifetime of crimes, but the worst was loving you.) by ch8rlie
The Stages of Grief by endgamesonly
'tis the damn season. by wandererghost (complete, though promised epilogue still outstanding)
Lizzie Saltzman, Matchmaker by TheNutcase (complete, though promised epilogue still outstanding)
In-Progress – still updating regularly or at least every few months:
Such Is Our Fate by TheDarkestHour13 / @persevereforahappyending (updated every Friday)
The Power Field by Joho_meh
4 Years, 6 Months, 8 Days by Limon_Skittles
To Know My Heart The Best (You’d Have To Cut It Out My Chest) by mambaregz
Incomplete – rarely updated, on hiatus, or orphaned:
Dive bar on the east side by Bluejay720 (7 chapters to go)
summer rush by sabrinasfadingmoon / @sabrinasfadingmoon (incomplete)
im not gonna let you go so easily by allweseeislight (1 chapter to go 🤞)
'tis the damn season by blckmaqic, LizMikaelson (1 chapter to go 🤞)
Redemption by MysticSlurp (Red Dead Redemption AU, incomplete)
Sad Bedroom Eyes by EvilPenguinRika / @evilpenguinrika (on hiatus)
Hell Hath No Fury by ElegiesEulogizeMe (Ringer AU, 6 chapters to go)
the stages of waking by dandelionlighters / @dandelionlighters (incomplete)
let’s watch it all burn down together by iris_on_the_moon (zombie apocalypse; orphaned)
A number of the authors are no longer active in writing Hosie fics (not surprising in 2024, considering), but many of them (including the authors of the incomplete works I like) have substantial catalogs, so if you read and enjoy one of these, be sure check that author’s list of other works (and of course leave kudos and comments! 🙏)
—
If anyone would like to see other fics I’ve enjoyed, there’s the fic recommendation tag here on my tumblr that captures a few from the last couple of years, and I also have a few AO3 collections of specific themes/subjects:
Hosie Zombie Apocalypse (HosieZombieApocalypse)
Hosie Summertime Vibes (SummeryHosie)
Hosie Season 2 “What If?” (Hosie_Season_2_What_If)
(I really need to start one for post-S4 fics, because there are a lot of great ones and I’m starting to forget them already.)
Sorry I couldn’t get it down to 10, @tribridsireline 😂 But I hope everyone reading finds something new and exciting to read!
#Ask#hosie#fic recommendation#hosie fics#hosie fanfics#hosie fanfic#hosie fanfiction#hope x josie#hope mikaelson x josie saltzman#top ten favorite hosie fics of all time#fic rec hall of fame
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initial thoughts on DCAS episode 19
Emily has really been going full villain mode these past couple of episodes, huh? while I'm overall not a huge fan of how many women have been portrayed as rude/unreasonable as compared to their male counterparts, i do love an evil queen. i support women's wrongs.
oh, Gabby. how many people wish that were true. (very cute gabellie content as usual)
i wonder if this is a soft confirmation that we'll never see Gabby or Ellie compete again.
this is so important. also, Hunter, the heart is on Ally's pajamas, not her casual look with the jacket. unless he just drew that there because he loves Ally so much :D
glad that Tom can finally admit that he is a terrible liar. truly, the person Tom and Jake should blame is the hiring manager who hired Tom in the first place.
if you loved him this whole time then why did you lie to him about having another boyfriend, Tom? ,':/ (/lh) (i know that he was explaining in this scene that it's because he was afraid, i'm just saying that the extent of his fears is something that shouldn't be swept under the rug, and that i feel it wasn't properly set up enough in s1 or DCAS as a replacement. yes it was showcased in DCAS but we never got an explanation as to Tom's thought process between seasons that would change his mind to make him more fearful.)
*several people are typing*
we NEED to see jaiden teaching Miriam a tiktok dance.
this is your daily reminder to not take anything that's said in a greeting too seriously.
c'mon, Fiore, a true gen Alpha-er would know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell without having to look it up. unless, oh god, is that too much of a gen-Z reference for gen Alpha to understand...?
HE'S SUCH A DAD I LOVE THEM
this was probably my favorite line of the episode.
this was a really cute detail! even though they were both the archetypal "old person" of their season, Connor is still, like, 20 years younger than Miriam. it totally make sense that she'd still call him kiddo! just, not grandkiddo.
literally even Ellie is rooting for them to finish this plotline already. or maybe she's just feeling guilty for separating them in the first place, and she's lowkey hoping that the damage wasn't that severe.
that's... that's a crime? you can't just burn people, even if they're terrible??? i guess that, given Riya attempting to kill Aiden and directly breaking Connor's leg further, the definition of what counts as a crime is pretty lax in this universe. unless it's about destroying the environment. thanks, Tom! (/j)
also, why is Yul's scar so damn low res?
MCDONALD'S ELLIE ISN'T CANON??? D:
i wonder if this season is going to end with Grett giving Ellie a job/helping Ellie get a job. i could see fitness influencer and fashion designer working together well, as long as Ellie is okay designing athleticwear.
on one hand, i don't like that we don't get to have the finalists pick the people that they're closest with help them in the finale. this feels rather random, and in terms of real-world fairness, having a finalist get stuck with terrible help isn't very fair (i cite Top Chef season 4 as my example). however, i do appreciate how Disventure Camp always mixes the endgame up. it's not very fair in a real-world perspective, but given that it isn't a real game i appreciate the variety.
i also think that this is a nice fix to really incentivize whoever is helping the finalist after (in-universe) we had two really unpopular finalists, Fiore and James, who struggled to get any help. it feels like a reasonable decision that the in-universe showrunners would make.
don't distract him during the finale, you fool!
the Romber strategy!!! wow, and it's even in the first All Stars season, too :D
THE YUL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS BACK ON?!?!?!?!
FIORE FINALE CONTENT! FIORE FINALE CONTENT!
ain't no way she's actually winning and of that $100K though, lol.
y'know, this might as well happen.
Riya and Yul really are perfect for each other (platonic) because every time that either of them gets a chance to either repent and be a good person or double down and keep relentlessly chasing their goals, they both always choose the latter. they're gonna get punished in the finale big time for sure... to the extent that Yul hasn't already been punished by getting that scar(?) to the face. like, seriously, that could be even more damage to his career.
once again, i missed the real Hunter so much :,)
while i love the roast here, does Fiore actually have anyone's respect...?
that's a wrap, folks! the most important character arc of the season is over!
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20 ships/relationships that heal my bisexual heart 🩷💜💙
Buddie (9-1-1)
there is literally no heterosexual explanation for this scene. manifesting buddie canon in season 8 🙏
Bathena (9-1-1)
LITERALLY. COUPLE. GOALS.
Madney (9-1-1)
i'm so glad they finally got married, after everything they've been through <3
Henren (9-1-1)
final 9-1-1 ship on the list... i love these two and this show is literally the best! but i am begging you tim minear give them a break!!!
Peraltiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
this is one of my favourite moments in the entire show. i love these two so much!
Holt and Kevin (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
i'm so glad they got back together also, i have to include a cheddar gif:
Villaneve (Killing Eve)
my friend got me into this show after season 2 aired and i'm so glad he did because i absolutely adore these two!
Miranda and Gary (Miranda)
this is weirdly my most conflicted ship on this list but that's only because i love miranda hart and can't stand tom ellis, but this is still a lovely relationship (despite the ups and downs)
Rose and the Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)
idc their relationship was just so fun to watch. they have just a great dynamic, whether it's platonic or romantic, although i think we know which is the popular option as bad wolf is literally scattered across the entirety of time and space...
Rogue & the Fifteenth Doctor (Doctor Who)
FIFTEEN FIND HIM!!!!!
Captain Jack Harkness & Ianto Jones (Torchwood)
"love the coat"
Gwen Cooper & Rhys Williams (Torchwood)
i just had to include these two!
Toshiko Sato & Owen Harper (Torchwood)
bear with me while i cry over these two once again... 😭
i'd love to see torchwood come back with all the main characters (yes i know they're both dead but crazier things have happened in the doctor who universe, like surely some wibbly wobbly timely wimely stuff can bring them and ianto back lol)
Nick & Charlie (Heartstopper)
this list would be incomplete without nick and charlie... i love them
Elle & Tao (Heartstopper)
i can't lie... i think this is the relationship i'm most invested in when it comes to heartstopper, i love these two so much
Tara & Darcy (Heartstopper)
these two are soulmates... i'm praying they get a happy ending
Mr Farouk x Mr Ajayi (Heartstopper)
final heartstopper ship on the list... we need more of them in season 4 because they are literally so cute. again i think i'm more invested in these two atm than nick and charlie...
Wilmon (Young Royals)
I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! wilmon endgame THANK GOD!
Darren & Ca$h (Heartbreak High)
generally one of the most authentic relationships i've seen in a tv show. i absolutely adore their dynamic and can't wait to see their love for each other continue to grow
Henry & Alex (Red, White & Royal Blue)
i'm just waiting patiently for the second film... please universe
#bisexual#lgbtq#lgbtqia#buddie#911 abc#9-1-1#evan buckley#eddie diaz#bathena#bobby nash#athena grant#madney#maddie han#maddie buckley#chimney han#howie han#henren#hen wilson#karen wilson#peraltiago#brooklyn nine nine#b99#jake peralta#amy santiago#holt and kevin#raymond holt#kevin cozner#cheddar the dog#villaneve#killing eve
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Destiel will always be my number one but controversially, I don’t think Dean matched Castiel’ freak…
Hannibal, Killing Eve, Interview with the Vampire, for example, are all shows about gay people who absolutely matched each other’s freak.
Like, total insane derangement. Complete and utter delusion. Ruining your life over a crush. That’s Cas, but that’s not Dean.
Which is not to say I don’t think Dean loved Cas. I don’t mean that at all. I just think Dean actually was a normal guy struggling with some general repression/mental issues, who also had unrelated insane shit going on. He definitely was a freak in other regards.
Overall I think he loved Cas like a regular normal person.
Castiel on the other hand…. HE’S A FREAK!!!!
Like ok sacrificing himself for Dean at the end of season 15? Ok got it, that’s like normal love. sacrificing himself for Dean at the end of season 4?!? They knew each other for like. A FEW MONTHS. that’s insane. He completely disregarded the very institution he was completely woven into for millennia, his entire existence, over SOME GUY (Dean).
I know heaven is bad from the perspective of the show, which is from the brothers perspective, aka a human perspective. If you imagine Castiel as a main character and the show was from his perspective, heaven would be akin to normal human society, and heaven would be the moral/legal framework. In that sense, Castiel’s abandoning heaven is much more in line with a Hannibal/IWTV/Killing Eve type of plot where like I already said, you just have an insane gay person (Cas) who abandons society and lowkey (high key) goes crazy over a crush.
Sorry Dean but you did not match his freak 😞
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Today we have the third part of our angst rec list for you to check out! You can find part one here and part two here. The fics on this list are all amazing, so please be sure to read them, give them kudos, and leave a comment for the author. If you enjoy our rec lists, please like this post and reblog it to help spread the word. Happy reading!
1) Please, Don’t Say You Want Me | Explicit | 9,320 words
Prompt 496: ABO/royalty AU. Where Omega Prince Louis is forced to marry alpha King Harry by his father for the benefit of their kingdom. After the wedding, Harry lets Louis know that he didn’t want a mate and to not expect a relationship from him. Since they are already mated, Harry has to officially reject Louis’s omega to break ties. This practice is so taboo that he doesn’t know the omega has a maximum of a year left to live after rejection. As time goes on, the omega gets weaker and weaker.
2) All This Delusion In Our Heads | Explicit | 15,088 words
After Harry and Louis break up, they cope with it in very different ways. What will happen when Harry keeps calling his ex over when things go wrong in his life, but Louis just can't take it anymore?
3) Dandelion Heart | Explicit | 17,563 words
After his sister’s death, Louis is granted full custody of his 4-year-old nephew, TJ. It isn’t easy, but with the help of TJ’s other uncle, Harry, they learn to make it work.
4) Death Wish | Explicit | 22,067 words
Louis hates vampires, he lives his life trying to kill as many as he can, night after night, year after year. He hates them. Then why the fuck is he kissing one? Again. “I mean it, Harry.” Louis says, into his mouth this time. “You need to get the fuck away from me.”
5) The Games We Play | Explicit | 23,448 words
Louis is a political lobbyist who chose his career over his personal life a long time ago and has never regretted it. Then he met Harry.
6) Bloom | Explicit | 24,887 words
When they first meet at Harry’s flower truck, Harry falls hard but Louis’ unavailable. Only before long, Harry reignites a spark that Louis thought long forgotten.
7) Somebody's Got Your Trainers On (It's You) | Explicit | 28,000 words
Louis hasn't thought about Harry since half an hour after the shift started, when Krystle told him that she was binging Gogglebox last night and therefore didn't get enough sleep - a sure reminder of Harry’s temporary Gogglebox obsession. Five hours isn't much without thinking about someone, but that's as long as it gets. Louis came to terms with that two years ago. When Harry walked out the door with his stupid New Balance trainers and never looked back.
8) The Road Not Taken | Explicit | 30,393 words
The one where Harry returns back home for the holidays after a successful debut album, leaving Louis to unwrap gifts as well as old complicated feelings. Cue: hometown holiday hookups, overbearing siblings, and a disastrous New Year’s Eve party. A 'Tis’ the Damn Season' inspired AU.
9) Compass To The Soul | Teen & Up | 31,439 words
Harry Styles, alpha, is 1/4 of the perfect pack, and 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time touring the world with his best friends and family. Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates don’t notice him.
10) Like The Stars Above | Explicit | 33,759 words
Louis has a witchy little secret that is slowly ruining his relationship. When that secret comes out, it turns out that he has a lot more to worry about than just losing the love of his life. He might lose everything.
11) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34,589 words
Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.
12) Just A Pretty Boy | Explicit | 35,614 words
The alpha in front of him wasn’t only tall, but used every inch of his body to look even more threatening. He looked as shocked as Joseph felt, in his eyes he could clearly see horror and anger mixed into an odd and painful mix. It was as if he just watched a ghost or a monster from a nightmare come to life. “Louis…” he said with a low voice. It wasn’t a question, he was calling Joseph by that name. The crease between Joseph’s brows deepened. “Who?” Louis and Harry were married until, one day, Louis passed away in a tragic accident. Years later, he is found alive and with a thousand questions plaguing his mind. The most important ones; was his husband involved in his disappearance? And, how long did it take Harry and his best friend to fall in love after his supposed dead?
13) Best Colours For Your Portrait | Explicit | 37,717 words
Louis bites his lip in, his eyes leaving Harry's face, they are cast low as he takes a deep breath before sighing, "In solitude, I felt the liberty you spoke of." "But," The omega glances up, his eyebrows twitching as he brings his face closer to Harry's neck to overpower the alpha's scent with his scent, "I mostly felt your absence."
14) Give Me Love | Explicit | 41,041 words
Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas.
15) Letters To June | Explicit | 41,150 words
It's 1915, Europe is in the middle of the Great War. Omega Louis decides to join the Letter Home Project to become someone’s penfriend. Through this he meets a lovely soldier who hasn't got anyone else to send a letter to. Along with his letter, comes a picture of the most handsome alpha Louis has ever seen.
16) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42,207 words
Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.
17) This Glass House | Mature | 43,072 words
While deployed, Alpha Harry gets injured by an IED explosion, leaving him to deal with severe injuries in its devastating aftermath. During his road to acceptance and recovery he learns with the help of Louis and their children just how important family can be for the mind, body, and soul.
18) Oubaitori | Explicit | 48,822 words
Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.
After a year away, Harry comes back to his hometown ready to shoulder the responsibilities that come with being a Styles. However, an unforeseen return will greatly setback his plans as he finds himself confronting ghosts of the past, his prejudice, and a torrent of feelings he thought were long-buried. In the midst of a battle between protection and progress, trust that was once broken will try and pierce through walls of convictions he built around himself, leaving him grasping for power he is unsure he even wants. Meanwhile, Louis merely tries to save his family and make the next day better than the last. As he faces his past wrongdoings and the scars they left, chances will be granted to him - either to repair what was once broken or finally find closure. Torn between the desire to defend himself and the fear of the truth being rejected, he will learn peace comes from honesty - and that sometimes, what appears to be the easiest solution simply was the most coveted one.
19) Untamed Hearts Align | Explicit | 55,795 words
For as long as Louis has known her, Lady Margaret Tomlinson has had two aspirations for the remaining years of her life. The first was to out-dress the Duchess of Kent at every soirée and gathering. The second was to marry off her omega nephew to the most honorable – and highly ranked – alpha suitor she could find. He does not expect for her to arrange a marriage between him and the crown prince, and he certainly does not expect to fall for him. Everything changes when Harry disappears.
20) If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55,916 words
Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”
21) Of Lost Things | Explicit | 57,980 words
Louis comes with a familiarity Harry has never felt with anyone else before. After their fateful meeting, their chemistry became undeniable, and soon after, Harry had felt like he hit the jackpot when it came to finding the person he would spend the rest of his life with. But all relationships come with their own unique problems, and Harry soon realizes that their relationship is no different. When their problems go from unordinary to nearly bizarre in nature, he takes it upon himself to find an answer to their troubles. What he stumbles upon are terrifying coincidences between his and Louis’ story, and the ill-fated mythological couple, Orpheus and Eury. But it’s all they are; just coincidences, ones that feel as frighteningly familiar as Louis. Except… what if none of this is a coincidence? What if everything Harry has always seen as fiction is true, and myth—or rather, history, is about to repeat itself?
22) But We Have Promises To Keep | Mature | 62,608 words
Note: This fic is the fourth part in a series. We'd recommend reading the other fics first, though none of them have smut.
Maybe, Louis thought, from the beginning to the end, he had always known exactly what he wanted. He had always heard it, a quiet song in his head never giving up, because it had never been a thing apart from who he was. Someone who wouldn’t stop. Someone who could walk out into the dark, seeing nothing, having little, and still looking. The undeniable, terrifying, gorgeous truth was always going to be this: that he had a heart, and that that heart wanted to live.
23) Sink Into Your Sunlight | Explicit | 79,601 words
Louis hadn’t forgotten about Harry as much as he tried. It wasn’t due to the strange nature of their meeting, more so the magnetic pull he somehow had on Louis. He couldn’t fathom why this complete stranger stayed in his mind as much as he tried to stop it. Any time his phone sounded his heart skipped a beat at the thought of it possibly being Harry. In all honesty, it made him feel sort of pathetic. Gay guy falls for straight guy, what a cliche he had become.
24) The Rose Of Whitechapel | Mature | 100,180 words
Jack the Ripper AU. Detective Constable Harry Styles and his partner, DC Liam Payne, lead the case on the Whitechapel murders. Louis Tomlinson, the Rose of Whitechapel, is harbouring secrets of his own, along with a dark and sordid past. When their paths cross, truths are revealed, and perhaps hearts are mended... A darkness is brewing, and it's finally come to collect on the promise it was made.
25) Our Endless Numbered Days | Explicit | 120,815 words
“Harry?” whispered Louis, his mouth dry, his nose pressing against the other’s warm skin. “Mh?” Harry’s humming was gentle, his fingers lightly caressing the younger boy’s arm, his chest steadily rising and falling beneath Louis’ cheek. A couple of seconds passed, and Louis looked up at him in the darkness of the cave, barely able to make out the expression on his face. When he tried to inhale deeply, his breath hitched. He struggled to find the words to tell Harry what he was thinking about. Another couple of seconds passed, and Louis listened to the reassuring beating of the prince’s heart beneath his cheek. He couldn’t. “Nothing,” he whispered, his voice weak. I think you’re half of my soul.
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
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Mordred do you have any anime or manga recommendations you havent talked about recently?
I feel like there's a lot of anime I never talk about for one reason or another, like RN I'm writing up a whole thing about maidime (maid anime) for my anime blog and if I ever get it done then yay but it's dragging lmao
But yeah, I really liked the adaptation of Children of the Whales, the world building is insane and the animation was so spectacular for a TV anime. Really stands apart from most shows.
I really like the show Erased. Time travel and time loops aren't that uncommon but still I felt that Erased found a really neat way to tackle the topic of it. It's a real fucked up story so trigger warnings for child murder and serial killer shit, but for real spectacular show. Basically there's a serial killer and dude goes back in time to be his kid self and uses his adult knowledge to try and stop the killer.
I mention this show plenty I think but I always need to sing it's praises, Humanity Has Declined is probably in my top 15 TV shows. It's such a fun, bright take on a post apocalypse and it's so funny. If you take anything away from this post, watch this show. Whenever I try to compare it to anything, the only thing I can think of is Adventure Time, it's a bright whimsical comical telling of happenings after an apocalypse. Though plot wise it's nothing like AT so, maybe the comparison isn't the best. But essentially the protagonist is a UN representative to go between the remaining humans and the newly evolved fairies. The arcs are in reverse chronological order and its lovely tbh lol.
Time of Eve is one of the first shows I really hooked into. It got rereleased as a movie, so whatever version you find is right. But it's about a world where there's robot house keepers and shit and one day the protag follows his robot to a coffee shop where robots meet and have the ability to be free. It's very nice and I should rewatch it I haven't seen it in a long ass time.
To get that yuri rep in there, if you've never watched Maria-sama ga Miteru (Maria Watches Over Us) you gotta drop your toes in. It's four seasons but you'll know if it's for you or not right away. A girl attends an all girls Catholic school and gets caught up in the student council and the personalities in it. Imo this is the premier Class S yuri and I love this series so much.
I could go on and on honestly.
As for manga, I'd say my manga opinions are very known cuz I post all sorts of screencaps and shit as I read, but considering most of that was on my old blog.
Read Liberta. Just do it. Vampire lesbian escapism fantasy. It's awesome.
The Summer Hikaru Died is a gay horror. Basically a dude's best friend goes missing and then suddenly turns back up months later. But the dude knows it's not his friend because he saw his friend's dead body in the forest. That's not a spoiler, that's like 4 pages in. It's phenomenal.
I think I see people try to disparage it these days, but Future Diary was a really good read. Dude ends up in a weird game where his cell phone tells the future and he has to kill other people who have prophetic phones (and vice versa) so they may become a new god. But on top of this one of the players is a yandere girl obsessed with being with him. The anime adaptation is good too just be ready for them to show. Too much. Watch the TV show version and not the Blu-rays, they uncensored stuff in the Blu-ray and it's such a weird decision when you see it.
Goodbye Eri and Look Back are both one shots by the Chainsaw Man author. Both deal with losing someone dear to you at a young age and both handle it in completely different ways. Both are fantastic though.
I could go on and on and on
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To come out this year (2024)
Rosario (dir: Felipe Vargas, est. release date September) (changed to 2025)
In Search of Darkness 90s (dir: David A. Weiner, November)
No release date as of yet:
Dust Bunny (dir: Bryan Fuller)
The Life of Chuck (dir: Mike Flanagan)
The Cure (dir: Nancy Leopardi)
Epilogue (dir: Michael Fimognari)
Murderbot (TV)
One Piece (TV)
Lost short films:
The Pandora Experiment (dir. Mike L. Taylor, Matt Steinauer, Collier Landry)
Arc of a bird (from the director of Cass, Hugh Schulze. David plays the same character)
Credits (dir. Hugh Schulze)
Head Case (dir. Collin Schiffli, Bradley Jakubik)
Band (dir. Collin Schiffli)
Keen (dir. Jimmy McDermott)
Say When (dir. Greg Fitzsimmons)
Tweet Me in NY (dir. Traven Rice)
All the Pretty Girls (dir. ???) (Robert Goldman perhaps?)
Girls Will Be Girls 2012 (not a short) (dir: Richard Day. From Reddit: I heard the director, Richard Day, had some technical setbacks with not being familiar with green screen work/a lot of his work being lost when his hard drive crashed. According to Coco Peru, it's in some sort of post-production limbo state, so who knows?)
Also apparently this got successfully backed on Kickstarter, so maybe we should kick some start into the director's butt?/cringe
Things to keep an eye on:
Hide Your Eyes (written by David, dir. Erica Scoggins, could be in development hell)
Can't Stop the Dawn (dir. Marianna Palka or Tony Armer, status unknown) (could also be called "Terminal Kill")
Jack and Jill (unknown, mentioned in Dast's old webpage)
Her Director (unknown, mentioned in Dast's old webpage)
One and Only (an (old) screenplay by Eve)
Other things I'm looking for
Last Drive In With Joe Bob Briggs episode (I think it was season 5 episode 1)
Games We Play (Special game show)
No Calls, Please (Funny or Die sketch)
Master Class (Funny or Die sketch)
Master Class II (Funny or Die sketch)
Axe commercial from 2010 (mentioned in old blog)
Ad against smoking (mentioned in Steve Agee's podcast)
BestBuy commercial (mentioned in 3conomics' hater's blog)
WATCH
(1) Various
(2) Various
(3) Cass & Under the Pyramid
(4) Double Black
(5) Various
(6) Shortcake
(7) Cora
First two links might not work on mobile because it sure as hell isn't working on mine but it's just the links to my Vimeo and YouTube playlists, you can see them on the header of the blog
#david dastmalchian#the pandora experiment#petition#rare films#lost media#with where to watch links for ease of access
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Okay, so jumping here. I've been thinking and imo the 'Lilith' is Eve in disguise and Rosie is Lilith theory still holds true. This is brought to you by me going "We know Viv is a shitty writer, so from the writing already available, where would she lead the plot NOW?" and by my tinfoil hat.
We know Lilith is somewhere in Heaven (maybe even in Eden itself). Unless she pulls the weirdest explanation out of her hat for why she took a small vacay for 7 YEARS abandoning her daughter (with whom we know she had a good relationship with, IF that part of the pilot is still true. She never stopped to explain what parts of the pilot are still true, ffs.), Lilith would never. I don't even think she:
1) Would be allowed in Heaven, even by making a deal with Adam.
2) Adam's pride is too big for him to simply accept such a deal and Lilith's pride would be equally big imo. This interaction would never work.
So that has to be Eve. And Adam *has* to know that that's Eve. Or he doesn't, idc. Point is, it's far more likely by normal logic for that to be Eve. By Viv logic...? Not so much.
Which brings me to my second point! Rosie and her character. I did kind of feel the Mary Poppins vibes a bit, ngl. Horrible redesign, but oh well... The way she reacted to Charlie, her going "yeah, singing totes works here, in the *cannibal* colony!" and her giving that love advice + "we all did things we aren't proud of" + the fact that she's a "hellborn"? She has to be Lilith, sorry. Also also I feel like cannibalism isn't even such a big deal??? In the show I mean. It's literally so cartoonish it simply becomes a hellish quirk for some inhabitants. Sure Alastor, you're a cannibal, boo-hoo. I don't feel threatened by any of them, is what I mean. And even irl, I feel like yeah, it's gross and most likely getting yourself sick, but what makes cannibalism truly bad is the act of *killing* that person, ye know? In Viv's Hell that can't even happen, they'll just respawn, no problem.
And my final reason issss: Viv just ran so fast past 4 seasons worth of plot that imo she backed herself info a corner. The only things keeping the plot going are...Alastor's deal and who he made it with. It's probably Roo or Eve (or Lilith if Rosie is just Rosie), but I have a feeling like it can't be so simple with her, she has to pull a super complicated sayan explanation to make it seem like she just had us all guessing the wrong things, she's suuuuch a literary genius. And she loves musicals a bit too much (Adam is literally just Beetlejuice minus everything interesting about him), so pulling a Sweeney Todd sounds very in-character for her.
Now, speaking of Alastor....I haaaate how she destroyed his character with all the swearing and the petty edgelord-ness. She's not smart enough to write a smart chaotic presence/maybe potential villain. There, I said it. She should open a psychology book or some shit (she should've hired psychologists to coach her about writing about topics such as SA, addiction, sadistic/criminal personalities and so on, but we know she never put such thought into her work). Or at least a sensibility reader for her plot, smh. The overall tone of the show is jumping around faster than a bunny on electrolytes.
And as always, Alastor and Rosie have more chemistry than Charlie and Vaggie literally the "main" couple. They seem like a 30s married couple, tbh.
Also also super confused about Alastor's microphone and how she can hand it over to Charlie??? Why would he do that??? Are we supposed to understand he now cares about her? Handling his (presumably from the Adam fight) source of power to her just like that?? TWICE?!?
I understand his final lyrics are supposed to be "holy shit, I almost died for these people, what is wrong with me???" in a nutshell (+ that part about the contract), but we were never SHOWN how he became more attached to them??? We just have to believe him based on the talks with Rosie and Niffty respectively. What a joke. (Niffty got partially restored in my brain, at least).
-idk, Broadcast🎭 anon- (I know I DMed u, but yea)
Honestly? Even if this leak never comes true the way Viv planned it back then, I for one am having a great time speculating.
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5 Characters who should get an Invincible Special Episode
Invincible Season 2 has just wrapped up, and while some fans are a little disappointed with its ending, overall the general consensus has been positive. From excellent music, to phenomenal voice work and animation, along with X-Men '97 its been a great time to be a superhero fan AND an animation fan.
This season also brought in a handful of new characters, as well brought some fan favorites to the forefront, including Allen the Alien, Rex Splode and Immortal.
I think I speak for everyone when I say I love being in this universe, and would love to see more. And while I know Season 3 will be here sooner than Season 2 was, I've been thinking about all those incredible characters and the Atom Eve Special.
It went a long way in showing how good the animation got, expanding on Atom Eve, and evening building up threats like The Lizard League.
I think theres alot of potential in expanding some of these characters, seeing their origins and helping build up their character development.
So I'm going to go through some, along with ideas as to how the episodes can play out. Spoiler Warning for Invincible Season 1 & 2 and mild spoilers from the comics.
5. Bulletproof
Starting off with one of the newest members of the Guardians of the Globe, Zandale Randolph AKA Bulletproof is definitely a character you forgot was in this season.
While he is known for a few big things in the future, he didn't really get to do much this season. He wasn't very useful in the sequid invasion, didn't really help in any major fights, nor do we know anything about him. So why him?
His history in the comics is rather tragic, and I think is something we are going to explore. His twin brother, a mad genius, attempts experimenting on Zandale in order to give himself superpowers. Instead it gives Zandale superpowers, and kills his brother.
Due to this, and unable to tell his parents, he pretends to be both brothers to preserve his brothers legacy.
That tragedy is alot, and could make for an amazing episode, with his brother being the villain and explain why he is so guarded.
Plus, I love Jay Pharoah. More Jay Pharoah please.
4. Dupli-Kate
We got some hints at Dupli-Kates origin in her eulogy from Immortal. Her powers come from a curse upon her family, that led to both her and her brother gaining the ability to multiply.
What you don't know is they started off as a brother sister team before going their separate ways.
We actually see Kate's brother Multi-Paul in the cell when the Maulers escape again. Seeing a young version of Multi-Paul before their inevitable confrontation in a later season could give us more stakes.
Yes, this is another sibling rivalry just like Bulletproof, but this could start way more fun than Bulletproofs.
And two multipliers who are children fighting it out in a dramatic finish? Also good television.
3. Monster Girl
Talk about a tragedy.
Monster Girl's curse was given to her after falling in love with a man whose grandmother disapproved of her. That grandmother was a witch, who turned her into an ogre with extraordinary power.
We don't get much else from her origin, which could give us some wiggle room.
This could start as a love story turned horror story, unable to get out of her monster form, feeling trapped in her own body. We can have the witch be an Agatha Harkness type, and a physical threat in the episode too.
Once she is defeated, Amanda is able to turn back and be with the man she loves, until she realizes months later, that she is getting younger, and he breaks her heart.
The beats are all there, and I'd love to see a magic based episode in the Invincible Universe mixed in with some Hulk style action. Plus, building up Amanda will be important as she is vital in the comics.
2. Thaedus The Great Betrayer
You didn't think I was only picking Guardians did you?
Thaedus' episode could be by far the most interesting, showing us Viltrum from a first hand perspective, before he betrayed and before he formed the Coalition.
I don't want to get too heavy into spoilers, but he causes a brutal blow on the Viltrum Empire I'd love to see first hand. We can keep Peter Cullen, or get a younger voice actor, but either way, seeing a younger Viltrum Empire would be very intriguing and a bloodbath.
1. Rex Splode
Despite being one of the most annoying characters in Season 1, Rex is by far the standout of Season 2 in my eyes.
Another origin that was slightly teased, I can imagine Rex's episode can be his sad origin, meeting Atom Eve in act 2, and taking out his oppressors by the end in a good old fashioned team up.
This could be a direct sequel to the Atom Eve Special, giving us more Eve, and help us understand their relationship even better. Plus Rex being blind sided with a girl who can make anything? Sounds like a fun battle to me.
Thank you so much for reading! Please consider following, and check out my socials and other sites here! And let me know: Who do you want to see get an Invincible Special Origin Episode?
#invincible#invincible show#invincible season 2#guardians of the globe#atom eve#rex splode#bulletproof#monster girl#robot#immortal#black samson#invincible series#debbie grayson#viltrumite#robert kirkman#dupli kate#shrinking rae#shrinking ray#amazon prime#steven yeun#shapesmith#image comics
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A date after the crisis has been averted, at least temporarily.
You know you're down bad, completely fucked up in love when THAT is your reaction when your crush has (jokingly) called you a bastard. What's even the point, now? You're doomed!
So, I've finished watching Season 1 for the first time and here are my thoughts:
1.) I love the writing of this season overall. I haven't read the book, so can't make a comparison, but Satire is one of my favourite genres, and I love it when things like Religion and Righteousness™ are questioned and satirised.
Also, I loved how witty some of the dialogues were. This one, for example:
"I don't see what's so wrong with them (Adam and Eve) knowing the difference between good and evil." (Crowley says).
"It must be, otherwise you wouldn't have done it!" (says Aziraphale).
It effectively calls out the lack of reasoning and blind faith in the real world.
I love how nuanced these two are. Crowley is a demon and pretends to be the Big Bad but time and again proves that he does care. Even when he doesn't want to.
As for Aziraphale, he's a good person overall but it's not like he always makes the right choice. He's fucked up too. And he has said hurtful things to Crowley. For eg. he didn't have to say, "We're not friends and you and I are on the opposite sides," to Crowley. I know he was trying to protect Adam Young at first, but still.
Aziraphale is quite stuck in his own prejudices. He wants to be with Crowley but still feels compelled to be loyal to his own side - even when the other angels have been nothing but arses to him the whole time.
Crowley is more open-minded in that sense. He's got greater vision and clarity about what he wants and the things that matter to him - he's been pretty much upfront about wanting to be with Aziraphale and ditch this nonsense about the good side and the bad.
I guess that was the whole point they were trying to make in this show.
2.) Aziraphale and Crowley are head over heels in love. I know, old news, but let me as a new fan just gush about it for a second.
Ever since they meet for the first time - when Adam and Eve are escorted to Earth - their chemistry is off the charts and it looks like they're perfect for each other.
Since Episode 2, it's clear that they have feelings for each other but they don't talk about it.
I love how even with his prejudices, Aziraphale is totally with Crowley when they want the Antichrist to be a completely normal child. Aziraphale wants the same things as Crowley but doesn't want to say it out loud.
The scenes where Aziraphale dresses up as a gardener and Crowley shows up as a nanny are hilarious. That too with the wrong child because of that mix-up eleven years ago!
This is my favourite scene:
It's ... nothing needs to be said. He's practically glowing with his love for the Demon.
Their banter, and the way Crowley playfully teases him sometimes - it's absolutely perfect. I love them.
3.) Coming back to my point about the other angels, can I just say I hate Gabriel? Fuck that guy.
He's the most despicable character of this show. I don't know if he gets better or worse in the next season, but for now, fuck him.
I guess I hate anyone who bullies and is condescending to Aziraphale lol.
I hate him even more than Hastur. Hastur is at least supposed to be cruel because he's a proper demon. People like Gabriel - who're supposed to be good but are actually assholes - can fuck off.
4.) I don't know if I missed it when it was being explained, but why is Crowley stuck in traffic in E5?
I know there's a huge demon prayer ring of fire set up by Adam Young but Crowley is a demon, and demons aren't bound by Physics, or so the God narrator told us. Couldn't he go to Tadfield any other way?
Also, why did Hastur burn to death in that episode? I thought the only thing that kills a demon is Holy Water.
Maybe I was being dumb when I watched the show lol. Would appreciate it if someone clarified this point for me in the notes.
5.) Whoever did the voice acting of God did a fantastic job. She had a lot of sarcasm in her voice at many points and I loved that.
Also, seeing Michael Mckean as Witchfinder was such a pleasant surprise! I'm a huge Better Call Saul fan.
6.) I loved the humour of this show. These two scenes were the funniest:
7.) Crowley's walk was my absolute favourite thing:
That's all for now. See you again once I'm done with Season 2.
#good omens#good omens season 1#first time watch#new fandom#new fan#aziraphale#crowley#crowley/aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#my thoughts#season 1 review and ramblings#meta#review#show blogging#live blogging
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Bonus 2
Here’s the second part of a holiday story, begun in part 1, about how Myka and Helena, in a vaguely season 4 world in which nobody’s going to go to Boone but through which they have thus far been separated, are reunited for a day-before-Christmas-eve retrieval in Cleveland. Helena has been summoned by Claudia to serve as Myka’s backup, for Pete is spending some holiday time with his family... but as it turns out, the retrieval is necessary because—plot-semi-twist!—Pete Christmas-gifted his cousin, who is a bigwig at an accounting firm, with an artifact, a pen that apparently has something to do with Santa’s naughty/nice list. Which said cousin used to confer end-of-year bonuses—and penalties. As this part opens, Myka is just beginning to process the fact that the whole situation is Pete’s fault...
(And no, I didn’t manage to bring this thing in for a landing in this part. Nobody faint from the surprise.)
Bonus 2
“Okay,” Myka acknowledges, because what else can she do? The fact is that in any Warehouse-related context, “coincidence” is a non sequitur, and she begins formulating a plan to Christmas-gift Claudia with a T-shirt featuring that sentiment. How fast can she get a custom T-shirt made?
The irony is that Claudia would know.
“Yeah,” says Pete’s cousin—Pete’s cousin! She might be affirming the Claudia-irony in Myka’s head, or the situational irony Myka is now stuck in, or any of the vast array of ironies that make up the Warehousian unfolding of time itself. Myka would not have expected Pete’s cousin’s words to contain multitudes. And yet.
“He told me it was the kind of thing he thought I’d like,” that cousin continues, “and he was right. Effects aside, it’s a gorgeous implement. Perfectly balanced... which I guess works on an existential level too, doesn’t it? Naughty, nice.” She shifts the pen to rest a delicate crosswise on an extended index finger, testing its equilibrium as a chef might a knife.
The pen—or is it merely a different species of knife?—basks in Nancy Sullivan’s regard. “Resonant little instrument,” she says, with clear affection. “Anyway, we were talking about Pete.” A different sort of affection now colors her voice. “He went into this big production-number apology about it being sort of secondhand.”
“Oh?” Myka says, distracted by pens, knives, resonances... but, right, secondhand. Of course it’s secondhand. No new item could be an artifact. Or could it? This seems like a Steve-conversation topic.... and it certainly beats “H.G. is god knows where” for philosophy.
“Not because it’s not new,” Pete’s cousin says, apparently reading Myka’s mind, “but because he initially was thinking he’d give it to somebody else.”
Myka repeats her interrogative “oh?”, but she’s getting a feeling again.
“Yeah,” says Nancy Sullivan, and Myka really has to applaud her talent for broadly applicable affirmation. “He said he wanted to give it to his partner because, and I quote, ‘she likes the old-fashioned stuff,’ but then he realized he shouldn’t because, and I also quote, ‘she’s got this whole family feathery-pen dealy-thingy and I don’t want to upset her.’” She waves the pen again, this time directly at Myka, like a conductor imploring the oboes to pick up the pace. “And he told me his partner’s name,” she concludes.
“I’m sure there are lots of Myka Berings in the world?” Myka tries, weakly, raising her hands as if to offer Nancy Sullivan all those other Myka Berings. The last vestige of defensibility... then her hands drop, because really. She looks at Helena in apology, with only an indistinct, tangled sense of what she’s apologizing for. I’m sorry I occasioned this is part of it, yet there’s a deeper fault she feels but can’t quite ideate, one more consequential than an anodyne “oops.”
“Listen, he’s a really good guy,” Nancy Sullivan says.
“I agree completely,” Myka assures her. But in the interest of full disclosure, she adds, “Mostly completely. I mean, I’m going to kill him for this.”
Helena says, “Are you.” Her tone brings Myka up short: it’s impossibly knowing, suggesting insight into everything Myka has been thinking, about someday and talking and things.
Again with the reading so right.
Myka would love to have the panache to do more than glance furtively at Helena, to pull off a playful, similarly knowing response, like “that depends on my backup” (or something actually clever that will doubtless occur to her during some post-holiday post-mortem). Instead she goes with a not at all interrogative “Oh.”
Nancy Sullivan looks from Myka to Helena. Then she says, “Okay, revision: A really good guy who might be hanging onto some unreasonable hope.”
Myka wishes she could keep from glancing yet again, now, at Helena—now as she grasps the fullness of her underlying error, now as she formulates a hopeful plan regarding someday saying out loud “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize that he had any such hope and that I didn’t make completely clear that any such hope would never have been anything but unreasonable”—but the wish doesn’t work. She glances... thus proving Nancy Sullivan’s point.
“He didn’t mention you,” Pete’s cousin tells Helena. “I think I see why.”
“I’m both offended and pleased,” Helena says, with her customary little thank-you head-bow.
Rather than luxuriating in the familiarity of that head-bow, Myka tries to head off a more detailed discussion of Helena’s role in it all (and what a nondescriptively limp phrase that is) by observing, “The sixth-sense thing is quite the family trait.”
“Ah. Sure. You’ve had experience,” Nancy Sullivan says, a little droop in her voice.
Has she taken Myka’s words as criticism? Myka hurries to reassure, “Sometimes it’s very helpful.”
“But. Other times.” This is heavier, and now she must be referencing her own vibe-related experiences.
“Your family get-togethers must be really... charged?” Myka tries.
Nancy Sullivan offers another all-encompassing “Yeah.” Then she laughs. “But at least we don’t have a feathery-pen dealy-thingy like your family does.”
Helena clears her throat, an attention-garnering ah-ha-hem, as if it’s in the stage directions preceding her next line in some farce. She inclines her head: more stage-direction drama. Finally, “You do now,” she says in benediction.
Nancy Sullivan’s jaw drops. “Wow,” she says, and “wow,” she repeats. Then she laughs again and says, “He really should’ve mentioned you.”
Myka might laugh too, but she is preoccupied by the way in which Helena’s well-chosen articulation has persuaded her body to remind her that it and she have reached no mutually satisfactory agreement about appropriate reactions.
And that in turn sparks Myka to a realization: once the retrieval is accomplished, there may be a nonzero chance that she and Helena could enjoy a bit more of that liminal together-presence...
Myka’s body makes its best effort to crash through the gauzy ideating her brain would prefer to do about what such time could entail, and after no small amount of nethers-vs.-cerebrum struggle, she manages to propose, truce-wise, a simple Let’s just hope it exists.
Surprisingly, body and mind are willing to shake on that, giving Myka leave to slip on a glove and pronounce, “Just give us the pen. Then it’s over. Mostly. The money will probably revert... so you’ll most likely have to redo the bonuses the old-fashioned way.” Hearing herself, she amends, “Well. The regular way.”
“I don’t mind redoing. But reverting...” Pete’s cousin tightens her fingers around the artifact, pulling it near to her body as if she might be considering, for one last “maybe,” the idea of punching her way out.
Myka tenses, and she doesn’t need to cast a glance to know that Helena is doing the same.
She glances anyway... and indeed, Helena alive with wiry readiness is a sight worth the seeing. So worth it, in fact, that Myka is genuinely, if improperly, disappointed that said sight doesn’t cause the truce to collapse.
After a moment, however, color returns to Nancy Sullivan’s knuckles, and Myka removes the pen from her slackened grip.
But then Nancy Sullivan cocks her head. “Is it really over though? I feel like something else might be happening.”
No. No. Absolutely not. “Something else is always happening,” Myka says, affecting nonchalance as she slides the feathery foolishness into a static bag, ignoring its yipping sparks of protest. “Don’t worry about it.”
Nancy Sullivan casts a skeptical look at the barky little bag. “If you say so. Anyway seeing Pete’s face when I tell him you and I –and he and I!—are fellows in family feathery-pen dealy-thingies now? Might end up being the second-best end-of-year bonus of all, given everything.” There’s a little mockery in her voice, echoing the cousin Myka knows so well.
“And the best such bonus?” Helena inquires.
“Docking Bob’s pay,” Nancy Sullivan says instantly.
Myka snorts, and Nancy Sullivan turns back to her and says, “Are you okay with me being glad we met?” Like she’s mostly but not entirely sure of the response she’ll get, and that’s another echo.
“Only if you’re okay with me being glad too,” Myka says, her own voice sounding a familiar note—one she’s pretty sure Pete would recognize.
After a nod, Nancy Sullivan turns to Helena. “I’d say it to you, but I feel like there’s something extra going on with you, like—”
Myka steps in: “Honestly, always,” and then she’s hustling Helena out of the office even as Helena chirps, “I’m both offended and pleased by that as well!”
Back in the elevator, Helena speaks first. “I did not expect that,” she says, sounding entertained by—practically bubbly about—the entire scenario.
“I should have,” Myka grumbles.
“You’re too hard on yourself.”
“Oh god no,” Myka says, involuntarily. “Too easy if anything.”
Helena’s eyebrows rise, and her eyes accuse. “I’ve known you for no small amount of time,” she says.
Myka’s previous review fights that statement, but she doesn’t speak of it.
Her lack of response prompts a heavy I-am-no-longer-entertained sigh. “Must I return to the phrase ‘your truth’?”
“Please don’t,” Myka says. That’s also nearly involuntary, but it sounds too harsh, like she’s dismissing as unimportant that bookstore interaction, as well as the entirety of those in-extremis manifestations of herself and Helena. Rather than apologizing for that, for surely it would prove far too entangling, she tries to draw Helena’s attention back to the entertainment. “I like Nancy Sullivan. She reminds me of Pete and his mom.”
“Pete’s mother? I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.”
That’s a bit more jousty, backed by curiosity. Good. “She’s a Regent,” Myka says, for it’s the most salient piece of information she has about Jane Lattimer.
Helena stills. Her jaw hardens. “Then perhaps I have indeed had the... pleasure.” Cold. Cold. Cold.
You idiot, Myka scourges herself. Why couldn’t she have done the normal thing and left Pete’s mom as “Pete’s mom”? But now, but now: now she’s seen this wound, down there under the ice, and she wants to test that ice, but she can’t, regardless of her wish and want to know know know, to know everything Helena has been put through, so as to know whom to hate (and she hopes that doesn’t include Pete’s mom) and whom to someday thank (and she double-hopes that does include Pete’s mom). “Anyway I think the cousin had the right idea,” she says, pushing back to the now, to what just happened. “Using an artifact to do what are really decent things, even if they were judgmental.”
“Rather Old Testament,” Helena says. “Strangely inappropriate for this holiday, no?” She asks that like she’s really thinking—wondering—about it.
Myka congratulates herself on having provided a distraction, however minimal, from whatever Regent-pain her unthinking reveal caused to surface. “I hadn’t thought about Santa being more Yahweh than Jesus,” she says, to enhance it, “and I’m not sure what it says about my position on salvation that I genuinely wish we could have let her keep that pen. Or even better, if we could maybe ferry it around to deserving arbiters... wouldn’t that contribute to the greater good, even if it’s in a judgy Old-Testament way?”
Helena’s face moves as if she’s about to answer, but before she can, a rupturing screech of metal-on-metal complication resounds decisively through the space, and their ear-popping descent slows, slows, slows...
...and stops.
After an appropriately irony-bearing pause, Helena says, “This elevator seems to disapprove of your suggestion. Or perhaps it’s your theological indecision that displeases?”
All Myka can manage is an extremely resigned “I am not surprised.”
Efforts to summon help strengthen the “disapproval” interpretation: they’re fruitless. No one answers the emergency line, and this mirrored box is, according to both their phones, the place where cell service goes to die. Or where that service is interfered with by a theologically offended pulley-based mechanism.
“I genuinely cannot believe we’re stuck in an elevator,” Myka says. It may be the most true statement to which she’s ever given voice.
After a beat, however, she concedes, “But of course I can.”
Helena casts her gaze around. Once again, exaggeratedly stage-direction-y. “At least it’s reasonably well-appointed. For an elevator in which to be... stuck.” She seems to relish articulating “stuck,” so she’s back to being entertained. Not quite bubbly, but definitely entertained.
Myka can’t get past her annoyance with the elevator’s disapproval, so she says a peevish, “I don’t like mirrors.” She’s painfully aware now that they cover not only the walls, but also the ceiling. She can’t even look heavenward in supplication, sarcastic or otherwise, without regarding herself. It really is too much.
Given that no other communication technology is working, she resorts to the Farnsworth. She gives thanks for Warehouse mojo, or whatever enables it to elude the elevator’s wrath, when Claudia answers with, “No info on ‘lists, making them’ yet.”
“We dealt with that,” Myka tells her. “New problem.”
“Another artifact?”
“Who knows? Maybe Pete’s in an elevator somewhere else in this town making bad decisions, and they’re redounding to our detriment.” She’s vamping. Stuck in an elevator with Helena, she’s vamping. Instead of simply basking in such fantasy-made-fact, she’s vamping.
She doesn’t bother wondering whether Helena knows she’s doing that; if this little adventure has done nothing else, it’s reminded Myka that Helena always knows. It’s both wonderful and terrible to be so legible, particularly to someone Myka so often finds frustratingly illegible.
“I’m not following,” Claudia says.
Speaking of illegible: Myka, heal thyself. “We’re stuck. In an elevator,” she clarifies.
Claudia makes a noise that, impressively, marries a gasp and a snicker. “Are you really? Or did you push the stop button, like people do?”
“Like people... what?”
“When they want to have a little uninterrupted chat,” Claudia says, pedantic, as if now she’s the one who’s “clarifying.”
“Nobody does that in real life,” Steve says from offscreen. Myka is pleased to know he’s around.
“Myka just did,” Claudia insists in his direction. “Didn’t you,” she insists at Myka.
“If I did,” Myka says, “why would I be calling you to get us out of here?”
“Yeah, why would she?” Steve asks, but from farther away.
Don’t leave! Myka wants to exhort. She would never admit to needing backup in a counter-Claudia sense... but she does appreciate when Steve provides it.
“Oooh, because maybe the chat didn’t go so well,” Claudia says with great, and to Myka’s thinking entirely inappropriate, relish.
Trying for calm pragmatism, she says, “Wouldn’t I just... unpush the stop button then?”
“Myka,” Claudia says. It’s the most chiding, disappointment-laden use of her name Myka has ever heard, even when measured against all the times her father has uttered those two designating syllables. “Believe me when I tell you I’m a fan,” Claudia goes on, turning mollifying, “but you really need to lean in when it comes to tropes.” Myka can’t imagine how to respond to that, so she doesn’t. Claudia sighs—seemingly everyone’s preferred go-to when Myka fails to produce words—and says, “Did you try calling maintenance? Pushing the emergency button? Using your cell?”
“Yes, yes, and no service. Do you genuinely think I don’t understand modern communication technology?”
“I think you pretend you don’t understand newfangledness all the time. Particularly when you’re trying to show off how sympatico you are with H.G., who incidentally doesn’t seem to be piping up like I’d expect. Did you knock her unconscious after your terrible chat? Or maybe during it?”
Helena has indeed been very—very surprisingly—quiet while Myka has explained the situation to Claudia. And she doesn’t step in to help Myka out now. So much for any counter-Claudia backup.
“There was not a chat,” Myka says.
Helena is regarding herself in the mirrored ceiling.
“But there could be one now?” Claudia nudges. “Let me see if I can see what’s up. I’ve got cell service.” She disconnects.
Helena abruptly abandons her ceiling self-contemplation, focusing her gaze upon Myka. It’s disconcerting. “Are you attempting to avoid an uninterrupted chat?” she asks.
Myka can’t suss the question’s sincerity. And notwithstanding all her ideas about talking, she suffers a cringing internal “yes.” Externally, however, she says, in what she hopes offers at least a veneer of sincerity of her own, “No.”
She doesn’t follow up by asking “why would I be doing that,” because Helena would probably have a guess. And because that guess would probably be accurate: “You are a coward,” Helena might say, and Myka would regrettably have to either tell the truth and agree, or lie and disclaim any emotional investment in whatever the outcome of such a chat might be.
Silence. Longer than it should be... or is it as long as Myka deserves?
You wanted time together. Don’t bellyache about the form it takes.
“Your objection to mirrors,” Helena eventually says.
“What about it?” Myka asks. Her very soul flinches.
“What is it?”
Myka has never before stated her dislike of mirrors aloud, and she regrets having done so now. To play it off, she says a dismissive, “An artifact.” And yet the truth is that despite the unnerving nature of her interaction with Alice’s mirror and how it continues to prey on her mind, it isn’t really that—or rather, that only intensified her dislike.
But when Helena proposes, “Yet another ‘dealy-thingy’?”, clearly (and preciously) trying the phrase out in her mouth, Myka misleadingly (intentionally misleadingly) nods and says, “They’re all dealy-thingies.”
To that, Helena says, “Interesting.”
Myka would probe that word, but to do so might destabilize the ground, here in an elevator. Instead, for the moment, she tilts her head in the direction of the Christmas muzak, the literal elevator music, being piped in. “Oh, sure, that still works.” She gestures at the speaker, a thin dark stripe between two mirror-panels, from which the sound is emerging. The elevator is nothing if not insistent.
In truth, she doesn’t mind Christmas carols. She does mind the bowdlerization thereof, and isn’t that an attitude the dogmatic elevator really ought to share? O holy night, the stars are brightly... synthesizing? It’s wrong.
Now even her mind is vamping. Great.
Helena tilts her head toward the speaker, however, and Myka appreciates her willingness to be redirected. At least for a moment.
In fact, for all her vamping, mental and otherwise, Myka finds herself absurdly content to simply stand against a mirrored elevator wall and regard Helena... who in that instant of Myka’s acknowledged contentment seems to accept their predicament as unlikely to be resolved in a timely fashion: she sits down, of course elegantly, resting her back against her side of the box and stretching her legs (her legs, Myka’s body notes, just to let her know it’s still paying close attention) out in front of her.
The looking-down perspective is a bit disorienting—although at least this time it has nothing to do with being stuck to a ceiling—but Myka has no time to process it, for Helena’s next salvo, looking up, is, “You’ve been expecting me to remark further on naughtiness, haven’t you.”
Reading, yet again. “I kind of have,” Myka admits. It seems an overly judgmental statement, particularly given that Myka has to deliver it as if from an elevated bench. And yet... she kind of has.
“I’d rather not fulfill that expectation,” Helena says. “If we could speak of other things.”
Myka is a little thrown, but thankful. “That is entirely fine by me. What do you want to talk about?”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly,” Myka says, meaning it as an answer to either interpretation of Helena’s interrogative: Are you asking what I want to talk honestly about? or Are you asking, with honest intent, what I want to talk about? She hopes Helena will respond similarly.
“Something that interests you,” Helena says.
That’s not in any way what she was expecting. “Really?”
“Really.”
It’s a word similar to, yet very different from, “honestly.” What, in a real sense, interests Myka? In this moment, all she can think to say is “you.” And perhaps because her normal inhibitions are disordered, here in this stopped elevator, that’s what she blurts out.
And that seems, incongruously, to take Helena aback. “What about me?” she asks.
Myka can’t say “everything.” It’s the real answer (really), but it’s far too... big. For an unexpected reunion, an unexpected uninterrupted chat—although Claudia or rescuers could at any point interrupt it, which Myka should hope happens (should)—it’s far too big.
So: smaller. What occurs first to Myka is “where have you been”—but that would most likely seem accusatory. She needs something else. Something something something...
In the aftermath of the Warehouse not being destroyed, she’d felt herself full of hard-earned wisdom and bravery: enough, surely, to stop hesitating. Enough, surely, to act. Or enough, at the very least, to articulate.
“Wisdom” and “bravery” now seem nothing more than labels on empty containers, and so “faintheartedness” is the fullness with which Myka here initially accuses her today self. But as Helena breathes and waits for an answer, Myka revises that, gentling it to “caution.” And she adds “care.” Because she is trying to attend to, to appreciate, that breathing. And that waiting.
These might be nothing more than self-indulgently comforting shifts in vocabulary... but then again they might be akin to the shift from “Christmas” to “end-of-year.” Gentle. Inclusionary.
The something something something that occurs to her—because in attempting to avoid her own reflection, she is confronted instead with multiple Helenas—concerns a topic she probably should censor but doesn’t: “When you were a hologram... or a projection, or whatever we should call it... did you have a reflection?” She then reflexively backtracks, “It shouldn’t matter? But I don’t know.” That last, she means both ways. She doesn’t know: whether the reflection existed, or whether it matters. But maybe it’s a sneak-up on things, because she shouldn’t ignore things, and because a seemingly inconsequential tangent might tiptoe toward importance.
“I don’t know either,” Helena says. “I suppose I would have?” Her face contracts. “Or perhaps not, as I don’t know how that holographic projection of myself was... projected. But I do intend to look into it.” She says this last as if Myka has caught her in some inattention, a recklessly uncompleted assignment.
“I never even started majoring in physics,” Myka laments, which is true but also, she hopes, reassuring in an I didn’t do the homework either sense, “so I don’t know the optics of it. Projections. Light and mirrors. “ She doesn’t mention that in the wake of Pittsburgh, she had indeed tried researching such things... she’d got as far as some advanced volumetric displays, ones using dust particles as screens onto which lasers projected light, but at a certain point, a tipping point, the idea of Helena existing as—being relegated to—nothing more than light and dust seemed to scream a surpassing insult, a degradation conjuring death, and it was more than she could bear.
For now she puts that away. She shakes her head, shakes it free, and changes tack. “Anyway, that’s probably the wrong approach. This is Warehousey, so thinking outside physics, the laws... okay, all I know about reflections, unphysically, is that vampires don’t have them. So if you didn’t have one, then maybe all holograms are vampires?” Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. She would have done better to speak of dust, that and light and despair. Going with vampires instead? Talk about vamping...
“Presumably not vice versa,” Helena observes, seemingly taking Myka’s words far too seriously. “Certainly fictionally. Also not overly flattering, in the syllogistic sense of ‘Helena was a hologram, therefore.’”
“They’re very popular though,” Myka temporizes.
“Stoker’s novel was all the rage,” Helena allows.
The chat stalls out. Interrupting itself?
Myka nevertheless feels pressure to fill the silence: it’s her fault. Will a simple truth suffice? “I didn’t expect to be spending the day before Christmas Eve with you,” she says. “Or any day with you. In Cleveland.”
A small smile from Helena marks this as a more welcome fill than a question about reflection. As do her next words: “Nor I with you. In Cleveland, or any place. Equally, I didn’t expect to be sent on a mission with you.”
“That part of it went well.” Myka gestures at her bag that contains the artifact.
“We did—and now do once again—make a good team.”
“I’m glad we got the chance to do it again. Glad, but also... relieved.”
“Relieved,” Helena echoes.
That wasn’t a question, but Myka answers anyway. “Well, obviously, first,” she says, feeling herself launching into an explanatory babble that she fears she’ll be powerless to stop, “because you didn’t have to talk anybody out of using Joshua’s trumpet, so that really makes a difference in terms of how we—”
“‘First’,” Helena quotes, interrupting (stopping), conveying her full knowledge that that too is a vamp. “And second?”
“That we still are.” This, Myka says simple and frank.
“A good team?”
That is a question. Myka knows “yes” is the only sensical answer, so she tries to say it. But the depth and weight of the ways in which she and Helena “still are” choke her: they “still are” in the basic sense of existing, which was never a certainty; and even better, higher, these hours they’ve spent together today have made clear, to Myka at least, that they “still are”... well. She’d like to finish that with something like “in love,” but instead she tries to leave it, even in her head, at “still are,” with their time-crossed, maybe-destined predicate undefined.
“A good team” should be good enough—true enough—for now.
So after a stretch of time during which Myka knows she’s been focusing her gaze far too intently on Helena, she manages that “yes.”
Helena waits to speak.... are her eyes glistening more brightly than usual, or is Myka hallucinating? “I’m relieved as well,” she says, and Myka chooses to simply delight in whatever prompted such a saturated sparkle.
It draws her closer.
She crosses the small-yet-large elevator-width that separates them. “I need to either sit down beside you or help you up,” she says. “Do you have a preference?”
“For?” Helena’s eyes continue to glow.
That shine... Myka has hopes. They may not be realized, but she has them: the product of relief, “still are,” and an unknown predicate. “Whatever’s next,” she says.
A bit of time passes, with Helena now being the one focused most intently. “I’ll stand,” is her verdict.
Myka reaches down with both—both—hands, offering, and Helena reaches up, accepting. Their fingers meet and clasp, and too cold, Myka thinks, for both of them have a chill in those extremities... but first impressions of temperature promptly fall away as the new reality of the clasp roars into precedence.
Myka has never been so certain of, so certain of and enchanted by, what must and will happen next in her life. Never in her life so certain, as the clasp tightens, as their torsos lean, as Myka’s body begins an at-last congratulation, one that will become a celebration—
A voice from somewhere overhead barks, “Everybody okay in there?”
TBC
#bering and wells#Warehouse 13#fanfic#holiday (but not Gift Exchange)#Bonus#part 2#you never can tell what mechanisms might be up to#sneaky ghosts in machines#(sneaky ghosts ARE machines)#anyway like I said in part 1#I wanted to put a couple of people in a clichéd situation#and the way this part ends was probably obvious from the get-go#but really#was that space the right venue for...#anything?#Claudia's encouragement aside
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Who is Hal, really?
Like, we see so many different versions of him. We’re introduced to this awkward, neurotic, definitely not Mitchell, vampire in season 4. Oh cool, he has these friends he’s been with for years, that’s great!
Hal literally kept Leo chained up with the sole purpose to watch him kill people (and make money, as he mentions betting on the fight). This was actually in a prequel clip, not in the show - if you saw the clip, Hal and Leo’s relationship dynamic completely changes when we see them on screen together for the first time.
Throughout the show, Hal implores people to be his keeper, to watch him and make sure he doesn’t commit anymore sins. First Leo. In some ways, this is extremely cowardly - Hal puts the responsibility on others. If his inhibitions drop and he’s placed in just the right situation, he does awful things and can say “oh they didn’t watch me close enough”. I’m surprised Leo kept his promise - if I got free, the guy who initially kidnapped me would be getting these hands.
I really really like Hal and Annie’s dynamic. She is so opposite of him, and from the very beginning you see his discomfort. Then, when Kirby shows up, we get a scene where Hal wants to confess his sins. Part of it is because he would rather she hear it from him, but another part is something Hal does frequently - burden others with keeping him clean.
Who is Hal though? There are 3 parts of Hal. Of course there’s the awful part, that killed Cutler’s wife and who is 100% capable of becoming a genocidal dictator. Then there’s the part we see most of the time. Seemingly harmless vampire with obsessive compulsive tendencies, endearing in some way and obviously trying his best to stay out of trouble. But there’s this other part, that we only see a few times. It’s when the two overlap. There’s some glimpse of it with his prequel - he’s a “slavemaster” but he’s hesitant and ashamed, and wants to be someone else. We also know that this is the in between, as he references the cycles of bad and good Hal.
I think, living for over 500 years, Hal has had to develop a way to cope with everything he has done. There are old ones like Mr Snow who seem chill and totally fine with being menaces to society. But we SEE Hal is capable of acting without malice, of choosing to do things to keep others safe.
I propose then, that Hal, upon becoming a vampire and murdering people left and right, had at one point realized his psyche could not manage and be okay with it all. So, what better way to cope then to organize who you are. Hal is neurotic. He creates a line - bad Hal and kind Hal. It becomes black and white for him - he either goes full villain, or he is safe. He treats the bad part as another being, trying to separate his sins from who he is as a person. I suppose we can also see it as vampire Hal and Vampire Hal.
I struggle at times when trying to figure out who Hal is for real. Is this the true him, proper, neurotic, judgemental. How do these traits present in Vampire Hal. He dresses classy, he manipulates, and he harms. The judgement in this case leads to murder. Try to imagine Hal, the one awkwardly holding Eve, and when he turns Cutler. How can one man behave so contrastingly? The blood eases the anxiety and the pressure. Hal can let go, fall into habits. Without blood, he has to always be mindful.
So, other than being a story telling device; I see the Jekyll and Hyde aspect of him being a coping mechanism. He either fights the urges and the habits, vampire Hal who keeps a schedule, or, he goes full Vampire.
#just me rambling about Hal#Hal meta#that’s all over the place#he’s such a fantastic character#hal yorke#being human#being human uk
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