#just general musing thoughts

[etherealsinners]

My only comment about the idea of a verse with matthew apart of the vampire chronicles universe, is the fact that marcus pointed out the whole vampires like people being scared of them kink from day one. so when he inevitably pretends/claims to not associate with the majority of his species like the introvert he is, I just shake my head at him x)

[invinciblerodent]

This is going to be very ranty and disjointed, probably borderline incomprehensible post, but with the "return" of Dragon Age Discourse (and really, did it ever go anywhere?) and me repeatedly seeing the complaints and dismissals of DA:I as a "chosen one"-type of a narrative, I just.... I keep finding myself thinking about the relationship of truth and lies within the game.

Throughout the course of DA:I, the idea of a malleable, flexible personal identity, and a painful confrontation with an uncomfortable truth replacing a soothing falsehood, follows pretty much every character throughout their respective arcs.

There are some more obvious ones, Solas, Blackwall, The Iron Bull, their identities and deceptions (of both those around them and themselves) are clearly front and center in the stories told about them, but this theme of deception (both of the self- and the outside world) is clearly present in the stories of the others as well.

Like, for example, ones that come immediately to mind are stories like that of Cullen, who presents an image of a composed and disciplined military man, a commander- all to hide the desperate and traumatized addict that he sees himself as.

Dorian grappled with the expectations of presenting the image of the perfect heir to his father's legacy, the prideful scion of his house, his entire life (he even introduces himself as the result of "careful breeding", like one might speak about a prized horse)- all while knowing that his family would rather see him lobotomized and obedient, than anything even just resembling his vibrant and passionate self.

Cassandra calls herself a Seeker of Truth, and takes pride in that identity- only to learn that in reality, she has been made a liar, a keeper of secrets, without her knowledge or consent, and it is up to her to either uproot the entire organization and painfully cut out the abscess it is to build it back from the ground up into something respectable, or let the information she had revealed sit, and continue to fester.

And this theme continues and reframes itself in, among others, things like Sera's own inner conflict between her elven heritage and her human upbringing, or in Cole being caught in this unconscionable space in-between human and spirit, between person and concept, etc.

The Inquisitor isn't exempt from this either.

I feel like this is where the core of the many misunderstandings of this plot come from, why so many people continue to believe that Inquisition is a "chosen one" or "divinely appointed" type of story, because I think many might just... not realize, that the protagonist's identity is also malleable, and what they are told in the setup/first act of the game is not necessarily the truth.

The tale of the Inquisitor is the exact opposite of that of a "chosen one" story: it's an examination and reflection of the trope, in that it is the story of an assumption that all wrongly believe to be the truth, and thrust upon you, even if you protest. The very point is that no matter who you choose to say that you are, you will be known as the Herald of a prophet you don't even necessarily believe in, and then that belief will be proven wrong, leaving you to cope with either a devastating disappointment if you believed it, or a bitter kind of vindication if you didn't.

There's a moment just after Here Lies the Abyss (when you learn of the lie you've been fed your entire journey in the game) that I don't often see mentioned, but I think it's one of the most emotionally impactful character moments, if you are playing an Andrastian Inquisitor who had actually believed themselves chosen (which I realize is a rather unpopular pick, lol): it's when Ser Ruth, a Grey Warden, realizes what she had done and is horrified by her own deeds, and turns herself in asking to be tried for the murder of another of her order. As far as she is concerned, she had spilled blood for power, and regardless of whether she was acting of her own volition at the time, whether she had agency in the moment, is irrelevant to her: she seeks no absolution, but willingly submits to any punishment you see fit.

And only if you play as an Inquisitor who, through prior dialogue choices, had established themselves as a devout Andrastian, can you offer her forgiveness, for a deed that was objectively not her fault- not really.

You can, in Andraste's name, forgive her- even though you, at that point, know that you have no real right to do so. That you're not Andraste's Herald, that Andraste may or may not even exist, and that you can't grant anyone "divine forgiveness", because you, yourself, don't have a drop of divinity within you. You know that you were no more than an unlucky idiot who stumbled their way into meddling with forces beyond their ken.

You know you're a fraud. You know. The game forces you to realize, as it slowly drip-drip-drips the memories knocked loose by the blast back into your head, that what all have been telling you that you are up to this point, is false. And yet, you can still choose to keep up the lie, and tell this woman who stands in front of you with blood on her hands and tears in her eyes, that you, with authority you don't have, grant her forgiveness for a crime that wasn't hers to commit.

Because it's the right thing to do. Because to lie to Ser Ruth is far kinder than anything else you could possibly do to her, short of refusing to make a decision altogether.

There are any number of criticisms of this game that I can accept (I may or may not agree depending on what it is, but I'm from the school of thought that any interpretation can be equally valid as long as there's text that supports it, and no text that contradicts it), but I will always continue to uphold that the Inquisitor is absolutely not- and never was a "chosen one".

They're just as small, and sad, and lost, as all the other protagonists- the only difference is that they didn't need to fight for their mantle, because instead of a symbol of honor, it acted as a straitjacket.

[cripplepunkbarbarian]

I am so glad that the kid spectrals have such normal and caring spirits who will definitely not physically endanger and/or cruelly betray them in the midst of their lives already being destroyed by cults, monsters, and interpersonal drama. It’s so cool and nice 👍

[heartbeatbookclub]

I think, in a lot of ways, Monika and Sayori are reflections of each other.

Really, I think all of the girls are similar in a lot of their issues (self-esteem, anxiety, etc) and that's something emphasized in a lot of the stories, and a big part of why they all gravitate towards each other and work to create the club as a safe space for all of them, but I think Monika and Sayori in particular are just very much alike.

I think Trust really emphasized this similarity in the reveal of Sayori's poem, Become the Flower.

Prior to shifting focus onto the poem, Monika talks to herself about her real vision for the Literature Club. I think here, Monika points out what Sayori actually meant when she said that Monika was "trying to make the club [she] needs the most, out of anyone", even if she doesn't actually realize that yet. It's pretty clear that when she says that literature is a window to the real self underneath the person who's "forced to always smile and blend in", and is "forced to be perfect", she's really talking about herself.

I think that a lot of Monika's character throughout Trust is expressed more subtly, often in a roundabout way like this. A huge part of the story is centered around Monika's own personal struggles expressing herself, and that trait is pretty well exemplified in this indirect way of talking about her own struggles. I think that the reason why Monika's characterization here is so subtle overall is reflective of this.

And I think it's pretty blatant that this is statement is also meant to be reflective of Sayori, given that we immediately move from this statement onto the poem which reveals to Monika that she's been hiding her own problems. In this way, I think Team Salvato wanted to explicitly point out how similar they really are, and draw your attention to it.

I think that the way that Trust as a story is put together is meant to really emphasize just how similar they are even in their differences; spending a great deal of time focusing on Monika's own problems, to then showcase Sayori as the mirror to them.

I think the two of them make a very interesting pair in that respect, because a big similarity they have is that they very much place others above themselves, so they both end up individually building each other up while they put themselves down. It creates this strange back and forth where they each insist they suck and the other is great, when the reality is that they're both pretty fantastic.

In the statement Monika made to herself about her vision of the club, while it's clear she's talking about herself, she frames it in the context of somebody else getting those benefits out of the Literature Club, rather than herself. Throughout the entirety of Trust, she speaks dismissively of her efforts and her problems alike, while pointing out that Sayori is providing a lot of help. Sayori by contrast spends most of her time hyping her up and points out, explicitly, that Monika doesn't give herself enough credit. She also dismisses her own efforts, pointing out in most things she does, up into the climax, that Monika is a lot better than her at whatever she's doing. And when Sayori's problems are actually revealed, she explicitly says that she doesn't want Monika to worry about her, and that she doesn't want to have this conversation.

I think this all really shows that both of them are averse to tackling their own problems head-on, and I think this comes out of a fear of being vulnerable, since that's directly mentioned several times in Monika's issues openly expressing herself.

I think what makes Monika's particular brand of self-negging quite so disheartening is that she dismisses it out of hand as her being silly and dramatic, and in that way, she doesn't actually address the fundamental problem underlying it, nor does she actually address the statements themselves as incorrect. The amount of time she spends talking down her own problems as something trivial and silly, particularly in comparison to Sayori's problems, are a manifestation of her own desire to avoid the vulnerability of even having these problems, and it's just...heartbreaking. Sayori's denial is its own can of worms, but Monika's ability to so consistently minimize her issues when they are clearly still impacting her is so uniquely troublesome.

I think a big difference between the two of them in that respect is that Monika wears significantly more of her heart on her sleeve, so Sayori finds it a lot easier to directly target Monika's problems than Monika does in the reverse, but their individual habits of avoidance are coming from the same place.

I'm traveling a bit aimlessly in this essay, trying to tie things together nicely as I see them, but there are just a lot of similarities I notice between their actions and the way they think that showcase that they have a lot of the same problems, and a huge theme in Trust is expressing oneself, which both Monika and Sayori struggle to do, in much the same way.

I think a key similarity between the two of them is their tendency to catastrophize over a situation when left alone, mostly revolving around seeing the worst possible scenario for how they could've personally messed up the situation. I'm just rewatching Trust for this little essay, so there are two major moments I see Monika doing this, but I remember Sayori doing this...a few times, actually, throughout the side stories.

I think the spiral Monika goes into after reading Become the Flower is particularly important, as it exemplifies the habit of dismissing her own problems fantastically; in this case, she has an excuse. It's true that Monika's issues with her perfectionism seem silly and trivial in comparison to Sayori's, but that's exactly the thing: She shouldn't be comparing them in the first place! Her problems are real, and they clearly cause her distress, but because Sayori's own issues appear so much more serious than hers, she dismisses them wholesale as her being dramatic and silly. Because Monika's problems seem so small, she doesn't see them for the problems they really are. In the same way, because her own accomplishments and work seem so small, she doesn't see them for the accomplishments they are.

This spiral showcases Monika's biggest problem, the reason why she has such trouble expressing herself, and conversely, the exact same problem Sayori has. She doesn't want to be the center of attention.

Put another way, she doesn't think she deserves to be the center of attention. Her problems are so trivial; her accomplishments menial. Her fear of vulnerability isn't a fear that others will hurt her; it's a fear of being selfish.

Sayori is very similar, in that the reason she actively works to avoid showing any possible sign that anything is wrong is because she doesn't want anyone to worry about her. She doesn't want other people to dedicate time and energy to her.

I think that for both of them, this comes from low self-esteem. Sayori is self-explanatory I think, but I'd say Monika's perfectionism makes it exceptionally difficult for her to really feel accomplished in anything she does, which, coupled with her constant preoccupation with how she appears to other people (I think Monika places very high expectations on herself. I mean, Trust literally starts with her frantically apologizing and saying "I normally don't ever do this!" when Sayori finds her napping) makes it very difficult for her to feel confident in herself.

The fear both Sayori and Monika have in being vulnerable isn't that people will use that vulnerability to hurt them.

It's that people will try to help them.

And I think that's a really big part of why Sayori feels like she can trust Monika with her darkest thoughts, because she understands that they're the same in a lot of ways.

Monika created the club which she needed the most...and it was also the club Sayori needed the most, for the exact same reason.

I think it's kinda easy to overlook a lot of this because of the sheer amount of focus placed onto Sayori and the more explicit issue Monika has (insofar as the plot is concerned), but I think Sayori is exactly what Monika needs just as much as Monika is what Sayori needs.

[drowxiv]

I probably should've mentioned I'm on vacation right now so I'm sorry for no gposes to entertain with! I didn't have a chance to build up a queue.

But I'm back with more 4am over sharing.

I have a headcanon that Drow "mark" the weaker partner during intercourse as a way of broadcasting "this one's mine."

Except it's not some paranormal or magical mark that indicates or forms a bond between them or anything. No. It's just regular ass hickeys that they take super seriously.

So it's essentially the fantasy equivalent of "You got carried away and now everyone knows. Good luck finding concealer in slate grey."

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Day 7

Sky(loft)

*throws rose* For the First lovers.

Soft and sweet drabble with just the barest hints of tragedy, and more set on Skyloft than anything but I'd say it counts.

This chapter was brought to you by me getting emotional about the First Hero and his fate again due to the rain, the fact I believe all Links deserve to have love and appreciation but specially him. And the fact I think it's an absolute CRIME that we don't get anything more on him and that he and Sky don't get to have what Time and Twilight have, no I'm not bitter Nintendo I just want to talk, y'all can't just keep giving us like four Links before the actual heroes and then expect us NOT to want to elaborate with the crumbs we are given. If you ask me First and Sky deserve to interact and for First to have closure.

Anyway, as always can be read as romantic or platonic, up to y'all, and can be read in or outside and LU context, I just use Sky and First for simplicities sake but if you don't gel with LU then feel free to interpret this as something else, this is all highly self indulgent before I pass the heck out lol

If there was any place in Sky’s Hyrule that you could confidently say you adored with all of your heart and soul, Skyloft would be the most likely pick.

Even so high above it all in a way that would have you catastrophizing had you think too hard about what could happen if anyone ever accidentally fell from the isle even with all of the knights trained to not allow that to happen, you’d be lying if you said that it’s a wondrous mix of empyreal beauty and the comfort of safety and the wonder of touching the sky, a true breath taking haven that could soften even the hardest of hearts with time. Fitting of the warmth of the reincarnated goddess in Sun and the vast nature of Sky’s kindness, for all you knew he could be as frigid as the title of Godslayer demanded.

Looking at the way First let himself be tugged along the isle as soon as they’ve arrived in Sky’s land in a tour just reinforced that notion, you couldn’t help but chuckle a little. First was one of the harder Links to read, even more so than Time or Warriors, but looking at the way the stars of his azure eyes brightened with the fire of life hearing Sky talk about life in his home and about the many people made you feel so, so warm, like finding a nice sunny spot for a afternoon nap.

What could you say? First was such a wondrous person, calm and charming and perfectly polite and oh so kind in the way you knew all of your boys were. If there ever was someone who embodied chivalry and the ideal side of knighthood, he’d probably be the one to come to the forefront of your mind, and you’ve been insatiable for his happiness ever since.

When he first arrived to the Chain, he was as cold as the howling blizzard winds, heart a cold fort left in ruin and remade as best as a single man could for the sake of remaining kind, to do the right thing no matter what, it was a sentiment you knew far too well in your other boys, but specially so in First, who tried so, so hard to distance himself from getting attached. But who you knew loved the sight of the sky, as cold and numb it was in it’s distance, whom cared so so much he would driven himself into an early grave just to make the Surface a safer for the people who’d shunned him, whom after a long, long period of adjustment and effort from the Chain, allowed you to hold him close as he shaked from nightmares at night, allowing you to chase away memories of being held up by cold chains until the impression of them became one with his skin and subconscious, of being entombed and imprisoned in uncaring stone and iron to starve alone, being bitten at by hungry, crawling rats all because he wished to keep his people safe, made sure he could tell that your presence was tangible and real through telling stories from your world and singing him into dreams even through the fortress’s that was his stubborness. Trying your best to make lilies bloom on what looked like a most hopeless winter.

The day he actually chuckled and smiled, safe and healthy and alive in the presence of the Chain felt like the biggest victory you’d ever had.

He deserved to know love and to be loved as much as any of your boys, something real and tangible and that was actually properly reciprocated rather than used to justify an end. So seeing him being able to visit Skyloft with his descendant with a whispering, hidden smile was more than enough for you. And you can’t blame Sky for being equally animated about it, bless his heart, always wanting his people to be happy, always so, so kind, wanting to bring some solace to the older hero but being carefully attentive so his mood was still good

After all they went through they deserved it.

“Oh! There you are, I was just about to show First to the waterfall, want to come with?��, Sky snaps you out from your thoughts, touching your shoulder with a gentle smile.

“Unless something is ailing you, you did look quite deeply in though.”, added First, soft as the warm breeze on the isle in the sky.

You shake your head, smiling as you take First’s offered arm, an instinctive motion when he wished to be close but wasn’t quite ready for any other touch yet, and Sky’s hand in yours, which he swings with a hum, ears twitching, how precious. “Not at all, lead the way.”

As Sky leads you along, and you catch the ghost of a smile in First’s otherwise stern countenance and you take in the warmth of the late afternoon sun in Skyloft and the soft, eternal spring breeze. You think there’s quite a bit you’d give to keep witnessing these moments indeed.

The road to recovery was long and arduous, but you’d be there, and you knew the Chain would do their best to be there too.

[twipsai]

honestly i might take a break from tumblr with how much sonic movie negativity there is on the dash, esp leading up to release

[anthromimicry]

[distance-does-not-matter]

I need to give my unnamed space opera girlie (ironic phrase, for she’s one of many) a friend. She deserves it

[nulltune]

old edits _(:3」∠)_ but i like imagining hakuno in different hairstyles HNGGHH 😩😩❤️💗💓💞 would she ever style her hair tho? sadly no </3 she thinks she's too plain for that + doesn't care about her appearance outside of just enough to look neat and presentable (we do see her hair in low twintails if she needs em tied up tho! tis a very cute look 🫶)

bUT LIKE- if someone wants to play with her hair or style her up then 👀 hakuno vc i don't mind. (<- girl who tends to go along with what others' want because she has no desires of her own tbh-) (METHINKS IT HAS DA POTENTIAL TO BE SO WHOLESOME THOOO and her hair's long and silky yknow ✨️ it'd b nice 2 touch ! 😌✨️) or alternatively- let hakuno do your muse's hair! ✨️ (she brushed nero's hair in last encore and it was such a soft moment it must've been so nice 🥺❤️)

[lingeringscars]

I think spencer had a crush on caleb before they left high school, but it wasn't really about him then. She thought he and hanna were perfect for each other, and she craved that type of relationship. She saw how caleb was as a boyfriend, and that was what she wanted for herself. She knew it was unobtainable, and that also made it safe. She felt disconnected from Toby and foundational parts of their relationship were no longer true. She didn't think he cared where she was or even remembered that they were in a relationship most of the time. She no longer felt safe with him, but she did feel safe with caleb. She watched caleb work on himself and try to help hanna, while roby was nowhere in sight and not checking in with her. He represented everything she wanted before she realized he was everything she wanted.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

talking to a friend who didn't vibe with TTPD and said she can't get over the Matty of it all and the album gives her the ick and she isn't enjoying it and I'm just like... I respect that and you feel what you feel and shouldn't apologize for it... but I'm glad that after the initial 😵‍💫 of it all I was quickly able to appreciate the music for music's sake and the story being told because I find the album beautiful lyrically and sonically and narratively.

[princeofhags]

so. bhaalspawn. breeding knk. right. Right???? is this anything.

[spiderwarden]

Karlach's forked tongue and double fanged teeth. That is all.

[gu6chan]

maybe its sample bias but i think it's kinda funny how most people I've seen who've played drakengard because of nier are making ending e THE endgoal and more often than not the main if not only reason they're playing the game at all and when they finally get it they're like "this is it the single most impactful, greatest moment of all gaming. im wiping tears from my eyes this is it" and then you see the drakengard fans who've played drakengard because they like drakengard and you ask them about ending e and they're like "eh. it was okay, i guess"

[exhausted-archivist]

Idle thought: Thedas is like the Bermuda Triangle stories.

With stormy and nearly impossible to traverse seas to the north and east. The Amaranthine Ocean swallowing any who dare to sail too far out, the northern sea consuming many vessels the Qunari send back to their homeland.

But to the west? A lone ocean that allows one group to leave and return again and again to trade with the Anderfels. Seemingly dwarven sailors hailing from lands without lyrium and where only a great disaster in their lands prevented them from their regular trade. The west is also where the continent continues beyond where we can see.

The Donarks are an impassable, hard to navigate jungle that continues north. The south is the Sunlesslands, so cold the Chasind exile people to it.

But what if the seas are safer than they were previously? If they had been so impossible to sail through, that humans, kossith, were only just barely able to venture south and westward? That the dwarven sailors were only able to sail in from the west safely after the veil was put up. That the seas calmed just enough to allow the first humans, the Neromenians to land on the northern shores and the kossith to land on the eastern shores of Ferelden and into the Korcari Wilds. If it was only after the veil that the Volca sea calmed enough to be safe to travel consistently.

What if, after the kossith landed, they didn't disappear because of the Blight that hadn't reached the surface yet, but because Tevinter captured them. Turned them into Qunari, until eventually Kosslun was the only one who survived the departure of Tevinter. One of the few who made it to the northern lands where they made their home and established the Qun despite the stormy northern seas. But later, his people returned south, braving those same storms. The storms allowing you to come in but to rarely ever leave.