#just for me personally it’s a really complicated thing

[cotton-fae24]

Hello everybody! Surprised to see me post something not Seabird related? Well sometimes drawing the same things over and over again gets a little tiring, so to clear my head (and to remind myself to draw legs once in while) I’d tried to draw other owl house stuff. During this break times I’d actually end up drawing other owl house creators Au’s, and I decided to clean up these drawings together and compile them into one big illustration. Think of this post as a sorta tribute to creators that inspire me. And don’t worry, Seabird part 3 will still come out Monday.

First up, the Monster high AU by @dazeddoodles

As the title suggests, it’s an AU that combines the G1 Monster high with the Owl house series. I was a huge Monster High fan when I was younger, so this AU was a real treat. I’m really sad they decided to discontinue it, as I think this AU is really cute. I love the designs too, Raine is my favorite. I kinda just wanted to draw some cute interactions, a young Eda and Raine interacting, Gus and Willow giving Hunter “a hand’ and Amity flirting with Luz (in her own way). Drawing this AU was a lot of fun and did inspire me to rewatch some of the old Monster high specials.

Pittwins AU by @nikolutke

This AU is much darker. The idea of the story is what if Hunter and Luz weren’t resurrected at the end of the series and wandered around the Boiling Isles as ghosts. I love Nikolutke designs for Ghost Luz and Hunter, they’re both haunting and really sad. Plus the idea exploring the Owl house characters reactions towards the death of a love one is really fascinating concept. I kinda explored that idea with these drawings, in this case Eda and Darius reactions. I feel like Eda would be out of her mind with grief, as she was forced to watch Luz’s death first hand. I think she’d feel a lot of guilt too, thinking she failed to protect Luz. I also wonder if Kings Titans powers allows him to see the dead, could be possible. As for the other illustration, I think Darius would probably isolated himself and grieve quietly, contemplating what he could of done differently, and if he could have saved Hunter in time.

The Gilded Cage by @catboymoments

I’ve been fan of both their next gen au and this one, but I decided to post one about the Gilded age au. The basic idea of this AU is the classic “What if Belos found Luz instead of Eda” concept. A lot of these AUs tend to go the route of “Luz becomes Belos 2.0” as someone who loves Luz, I’m sad people just think she’d just instantly become a villain if left unguided. I’m really that this AU went into a different direction and actual kept Luz’s personality and made Luz someone who’s trying to help the Isles and wants to protect her friends from Belos wrath. The one on the left is Lilith and Luz interacting, I like to think Lilith sees a lot of Eda in Luz, and makes her think of the good times before everything got complicated. The one on the right is Luz and Hunter, with the former trying to convince the latter to question Belos control. I love in this AU that despite Belos attempts to put the, against each other, they still have each others back no matter what! Their siblings no matter what universe they’re in!

And of course the classic (pun intended) The Mythology AU by @turquoisespace35

This AU is Huntlow story set in Greek mythology. Hunter in this AU is the half human-gorgon offspring of the human Caleb and gorgon Evelyn. Willow is sent to his location to kill him but (of course) they fall in love instead. The story has a lot of twists and turns, so I suggest you check it out if you haven’t already. The left drawing is Caleb and Evelyn interacting together. I don’t know if this work but I like to think the two were able to somewhat interact with each other by Caleb looking through mirror. I of course had to draw the love birds Hunter and Willow interacting together. The one on the top right is a little bit of a spoiler but I decided to draw Lilith and Edalyns in their goddess forms, I love that Lilith plays the role of Athena and acts a caretaker to Hunter. I drew her getting a little emotional about Hunter finally being free, as any cool Aunt should.

And to those who are just hear to see the Seabird AU, here’s a preview drawing of part 3 of chapter 10. I don’t think Edas really enjoying this part though lol.

Anyway, hope you guys this more unusual post, I just wanted to draw something a little different this time and pay tribute to some of the artists that have inspired me.

Edit: Chapter 10 part 3 of the Little Seabird is out now. In case you’re interested in seeing my work, I’ve left a link:

Chapter 10, part 3:

And if you want to read from the beginning, here’s a link to the first page:

Beginning:

[xinganhao]

days gone by 📢 seungkwan x reader.

do you remember your first love from high school? whether your feelings have stood the test of time is the real question— and it looks like you're about to to get some answers.

ⓘ part of my how is your youth? mini-series. includes: high school almost-lovers, platonic love, good-natured bickering.

Boo Seungkwan, public relations specialist. 27 years old.

👤 When you think of your youth, what do you think of?

🍊 I knew this question was coming, and yet I'm still not ready to answer. [chuckles] Honestly, thinking of my youth makes me sad sometimes.

👤 Sad? How so?

🍊 It's hard to explain. It's— They're different versions of me, you know? Who I was as a child, who I was in high school. I'm not the same person that I was when I was 17 or 23. So, in a way, my youth is a stranger to me. [pauses] Maybe not entirely.

👤 I'd love to hear more.

🍊 Of course you would~ I'll bite. My youth feels a lot like that distant relative that will come home for the holidays. You don't really know much about them, but when you're reminded of their existence? It's a bittersweet, welcome thing.

👤 You have complicated feelings about your past.

🍊 No, not really. I've accepted that the past is something behind me that I can't go back to. It's the future that I have complicated feelings about.

👤 Don't we all?

🍊 [laughs] Exactly. Don't we all. I suppose I'm just lucky.

👤 Lucky in what way?

🍊 I'm lucky I'm loved. That's how I can face the future. I'm loved well, and so I can love well.

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺ days gone by by day6. when we were young by adele. stop this train by john mayer. blue by yung kai. iris by goo goo dolls. how to save a life by the fray.

› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao

[moonydustx]

*Thinking and creating a little sketch of how my favorite characters deal with their partners dealing with problems.

To them, you are a force of nature.

Almost bordering on the utopian sense, an Odyssey written about you. You are the strongest person - perhaps resilient or resistant, he would really have difficulty in stipulating a precise name. From missions to everyday life, a fierce enemy or just a street fight, he didn't need to worry. He didn't need to, but that didn't mean he wouldn't. He would just lean against a nearby corner and appreciate you and your strength taking up the entire place even if it was just with words. The shine in his eyes indicated more than just simple recognition. There was respect, fascination and admiration there. You were an ode to many things he contemplated and being able to watch it from the front row made it all the better. However, if he saw someone trying to cheat, he would just move a few steps and touch the enemy's shoulder with false kindness. "You really don't want to touch my girl."

Luffy, Zoro, Mihawk, Law, Shanks, Kid (OP), Satoru, Suguru (JJK), Shikamaru, Kakashi (hear me out: he can do both) (Naruto)

To them, you are the most precious porcelain.

Not that they didn't see you as strong or resilient, quite the opposite. He admired those traits in you and knew that you would know how to make great use of your strength if necessary. But from the moment you agreed to be on their side, you no longer needed to worry. It was that old story of the privilege of a scary dog ​​by your side. Missions that were too complicated? They would deal with the greatest risk. A silly fight in a random bar? The man who dared to raise his voice in your direction would not live long enough to brag about it. An impossible-to-open can? Leave it to him and you would be thrilled with the achievement. Sure, he knew that his manner could be a bit too much for some people, but your smile - even if it occasionally had a touch of sarcasm as you thanked him for being your great hero - was more than enough of a reward. That, along with all the thank-you kisses he would receive, oh, that was worth it.

Sanji, Katakuri, Smoker, Killer, Ace, Sabo (OP) Nanami, Yuji, Higuruma (JJK) Iruka, Yamato (I mean, he would scare the enemy just thinking about it) (Naruto)

-

a/n: Did I forget anyone? I saw Naruto during my writing hiatus and I thought it would be a good idea to put some characters here.

[null-is-sparing-you]

Okay Listen. I understand why you are killing the feature. That's fully reasonable. But it's not far enough.

Let me ask you a very simple question: What do you have that actually REQUIRES windows? If your answer is "uuuuuuh", i encourage you to set up Linux Mint in a simple Dual-Boot setup (Just gonna drop the link - https://linuxmint-installation-guide.readthedocs.io/en/latest/multiboot.html ) and see if you can't function without it.

QA:

Q: That's a complicated install!

A: It's a little tougher because you're dual-booting, but everything is through a graphical interface which explains each step. It's also not as complex as it may seem.

Q: Why dual boot?

A: This turns your Windows system into a fallback option, or an option you can turn to for things you have not yet switched over.

Q: Why Mint?

A: It's what I personally use, has good coverage, tends to work out of the box, and just about everything can be done in a GUI. It also has a live-install medium, which is great for fixing major issues.

Q: Can I just wipe and install.

A: Yes, but be aware that adjusting to a whole new operating system can be overwhelming.

Q: Should I enable encryption

A: Personally, i think if you're asking this, the answer is no. While encryption does keep others from accessing your data, it really needs to be paired with good backup habits, which most people do not have.

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

[ddongtsan]

What If I Said Yes? - Kim Donghyun

Leehan x fem. reader

Note: I confess that sometimes I also feel tired of being a girl. But then I think that I actually just need someone to make me feel like a real girl.

Warning: Friends to lovers, fluff, drabble.

The rain tapped against the window, the rhythmic sound filling the quiet of your room.

You lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling as the weight of the day pressed down on you.

Nothing had gone right.

First, you’d forgotten your umbrella and arrived at school drenched.

Then, the test you’d spent countless nights studying for turned out to be full of questions that seemed written in a foreign language.

And to top it all off, the group chat with your friends was silent — everyone seemed too busy to talk.

With a frustrated sigh, you grabbed your phone, scrolling aimlessly through your messages. His name was at the top of your recent chats: Leehan.

Leehan was… complicated.

He was the kind of person who could light up a room with just a smile and always seemed to know the right thing to say.

You couldn’t deny the flutter in your chest every time you thought of him. But you two weren’t anything official. Just friends.

Friends with an unspoken tension that neither of you dared to address.

Without giving yourself time to overthink, you opened the chat and typed:

Being a girl sucks.

The moment you hit send, regret washed over you.

What if he thought you were being overly dramatic? Or worse, what if he didn’t respond at all? But before you could dwell on it, your phone vibrated.

Being my girl wouldn’t.

You blinked at the screen, your heart skipping a beat.

Did he really just say that? Typical Donghyun, always so confident, always knowing how to throw you off balance.

Still, you tried to play it cool.

Oh yeah? And what would make it so different?

This time, he didn’t reply with a text. Your phone buzzed with an incoming call, and his name lit up the screen.

You hesitated for a moment before answering, already feeling the nervous flip in your stomach.

“Do you really want me to explain this over text?” His voice was low, teasing, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

You bit your lip, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through your chest.

“I thought you were busy today” you said, feigning nonchalance.

“I always have time for you.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the small smile creeping onto your face. Kim always had this effect on you, and he knew it.

“Alright, convince me then. Why would being your girl be so amazing?”

He laughed softly, the sound so warm and genuine that it made your heart flutter.

“Well, for starters, I’d make you laugh every day. Like right now — I know you’re trying not to smile even though I’m totally getting to you.”

“I’m not smiling!” You protested, though it was a blatant lie.

“Sure you aren’t.” He paused, and you could almost picture the smirk on his face.

“And more than that, I’d remind you every single day how amazing you are. On bad days, like today, I’d take you out for your favorite milkshake or do something dumb to distract you — like singing terrible karaoke songs.”

For a moment, you didn’t respond, the warmth in your chest growing stronger. His words were so simple, yet they meant so much more than he probably realized.

“And what if I said I want to test that theory?” You asked, surprised by your own boldness.

There was a brief silence on the other end before leehan spoke, his voice slightly lower, almost serious.

“Then I guess you just became my girl.”

Your heart was racing now, but at the same time, you felt an unexpected calm, like this was where you were meant to be all along.

“Okay” you said, trying to keep your tone light. “But I’m holding you to that milkshake part.”

He laughed again, the sound sending butterflies straight to your stomach.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

And for the first time that day, everything felt right.

Maybe, just maybe, being a girl wasn’t so bad — at least, not if you were his girl.

[genderqueerdykes]

i'm not fat by any means (120lbs at 5'4), but i've recently gained weight as a result of healing from my disordered eating. since middle school, i've been around 100lbs (underweight !!!) at the same height, and it's caused a lot of health issues, but now i'm beginning to heal! yay me!

but i'm also dealing with people comment on my body (you've gained weight, said with a sneer. you're fatter now.), which is hard. like! i'm a very small person! the number of people in my life to call me fat (now) is nuts! i'm 120lbs!!! i'm so small!

anyway i've started responding with "i know" and a huge smile, really takes them aback. or "isn't it wonderful!!!"

like, my weight gain - which is only just starting - is because i'm healthier!! i need someone to please reassure me that i'm doing well before i fall back down into the rabbit hole. it's getting harder to be happy with being healthy at the expense of the comments, but i'm trying with all i've got.

120lbs is small, but i'm glad that you were able to make it up to there! people are literally so neurotic about body image and weight right now it's brutal. there are many people in your situation who need to be bigger than they are now for health reasons. people love to silence those who literally need to gain weight in order to become healthy. chubby or fat can literally be healthy for a lot of people. it's certainly healthier than underweight. being underweight comes with way more serious repercussions, way more quickly. health problems developed from complications due to having a very heavy body generally take a long time to develop. when you're underweight things can go sour very quickly

i wish you the best of luck! you're making great progress. i'm 320 lbs and have been around here most of my life so, anyone calling you "fat" would look a bit silly if i were in the room as well LOL. i also say "I know!" when people call me fat. it's never bothered me, that's just a fact. i know, and i like my body the way it is! confidence can carry you a long way. stay safe. good luck in your journey

[nectardaddy]

SERENDIPITY . . . kita shinsuke + f! reader

⤷ take me as I come

˖° take me as I come // or don't take me at all // I'm gonna let you down // I'm gonna lead you lost // darling, I mean well // I won't leave 'til I'm gone // I'm the maker of hell // burn every bridge I've known

             take me as I come , evan honer 

notes/CWs: set before 88 ford started, parental death mention, fighting/violence, brief undertones of organized crime, blood, disassociation, panic/anxiety attack, flawed (real) characters, language, misplaced anger, imposter syndrome, feelings of never being good enough, hurt/comfort as always, lore drop for yn <3

⤷ merry late christmas to @standcom and @wyrcan <333 I hope you enjoy it because this really pushed my writing limits and I think it came out way better than expected 

“What were you thinking?”

The same, old conversation that was drowned out behind the blood that still roared in her ears. Hot, boiling, and coursing through her veins as she kept her eyes to the ground; tracing over the cracked titles of the kitchen. 

“You weren't thinking. . .” 

Bits and pieces of the lecture came through here and there, and her jaw tightened at the accusation that was said out of anger. Her father was rough around the edges, callous, but kind when it came to her - his daughter. Always willing to take up arms and defend her if she was in the right, but this time she wasn't. 

“You coulda’ killed them!” A loud exclamation followed by a sigh and a screech of a chair. Her father had sat down roughly and leaned back, dragging his hands over his face before correcting his tone. “You coulda’ fucking killed them. . .”

“I wish I did.” 

The room fell silent at her remark. Her eyes never left the green tile of the floor, tracing over the cracks and dents with bruised, bloodshot eyes. Even still, she could feel her father's gaze harden on her. When she was little, she straightened up with that look; the repercussions of being grabbed by the ear from her late mother and lectured by her father was a big enough deterrent. Only this time it wasn't. 

The kitchen tap dripped, and the small splash echoed in her ears alongside the blood. Muddled together in a duo of chaos, and she closed her eyes. “I would've if Kita didn't pull me back.” 

“Well, thank fuckin’ god for Kita.” 

“I heard the woman died because the boss is into some shady shit. He's fucking stupid, getting his wife caught up in it-”

Her breath hitched in her throat at the words, and she felt her blood run cold. An accusation she heard here and there, that simply wasn't true. Her father did relatively clean work, though he did dabble; under the table work that he kept close to his chest - never, under any circumstances, did he put his family in harm's way. Her mother passed from a health complication; although, it didn't frankly matter, as people would believe anything other than the truth. 

“What the hell did you just say?” Her voice was firm, standoffish, and cold when she uttered a warning. She turned in a sharp snap, and bit her cheek hard when she realized it was a worker. A farm hand, her father’s help that she regularly had quarrels with. 

“He got his wife killed-” the person turned and she watched their eyes widen in horror. A sense of grief and terror engulfed them as she stood with her jaw tight and hands balled into fists. A sight to be held was the woman and her anger - scorned and violent. “Shit. . . I didn't-” 

But she didn't allow them to finish, not a syllable more, as the harsh crack of a fist hitting skin was the only thing that followed the abrupt pause. Quick to anger, slow to cool, a tornado of a woman barreling through an open plain as she stepped back with a huff. She watched them teeter back, held their nose with a loud groan as blood started to drip down their hands and onto the grass. “What the hell is wrong with you?” A pointed, rhetorical question from the person accused, “you're fucking crazy! Your whole family is batshit, I see where you get it from!” 

That's when she lost herself entirely.

Red and orange were always her favorite colors. It matched the sunset every evening, it mirrored the leaves that would fall down in her favorite season, it reminded her of oranges and apples that she would get at the farmers market. They were warm colors, happy colors.

But now, red was tainted.

Red was metallic and caused a stench that made her soul stop in its tracks. Red was what she saw when she lost herself in anger; red was too hot to touch but too cold to let out in solitude. Red was what dripped from her knuckles, her mouth, every gash and cut she received after she threw the first punch. 

Her chest heaved for air, sputtering and coughing, but unrelenting as she landed blow after blow - after blow. Her vision was blurry; sweat, tears, and blood pooled in her eyes that made it all the more difficult to see what she was doing - to witness the damage she was inflicting.

“I'll fuckin’ kill you!” Was the only sentence she managed to string together in her rage. Every other word was gibberish, curses, or insults laced with venom. A sharp tongue that knew no bounds, had little to no restrictions, but didn't know death threats until now. Didn't know the weight of such words until it passed her lips, but she only used the weight to her advantage, and kept going. 

The woman hadn't felt the forceful hands on her, too lost in incoherent rage to even feel cold fingers on scorched skin. She didn't fight the hands on her, as she didn't realize they were there until she was yanked backwards. Only then did she notice the ice cold fingers, squeezing her arms within a vice like grip as she was dragged back. “Get the hell off me!” 

She lunged forward and broke away, clawing at straws to attack the one person within her sights - a rabid animal that had a taste for blood and couldn't get enough. But once again, she was forced back; jerked with a force that normally would've taken her breath away, but now she didn't even have it to begin with. She fought against whomever held her; kicked, scratched, and clawed at the person who's only words were “please.” She turned within the grip, fist balled tight to deter anyone with the iron will to keep holding her, and reared back. 

Though, she didn't swing. 

Her fist didn't connect with a jaw per usual, it didn't connect with anything. The sharp snap of a punch wasn't heard, because she froze when she saw familiar brown eyes wide in concern. She watched as eyes flickered over her face in worry rather than horror, compassion rather than fear. And lowered her hand when she watched his eyes meet with it then return back to her. 

A fraction of a second, a brief silence and breath of air, before she fought against his hold again. The red in her eyes never faded, but would never be directed at him. “Let go of me, Kita! Get the hell off me!” 

“Y'know I can't do that, ma'am.” His voice was gentle and kind, despite the situation he found himself in and screams from her in comparison. 

“Like hell you can't! Let go! They talked about my mom, get the fuck off me, I swear to god-” 

“And now they know not to, you showed them what happens when they do. So, please-” 

“It's not enough!” 

“You'll hurt yourself if you do anymore!” His voice had a snap to it that she couldn't ignore, and she felt him pull her back again. Only this time, she fought a little less, made it a bit easier for him to do so. “You're already bleeding, ma'am, so please, just walk with me.”

So she did.

In silence, begrudgingly, as she kept turning her head to look back at the scene she walked away from. She felt him pull at her arm again, far more gently than the latter. “We need to get you cleaned up.” She took a sharp breath and nodded at his words. 

The woman sat silent, unmoving, as she watched the man through blurry eyes. Rummaging around in the medicine cabinet for something, anything, to aid her. But she only sighed. Sighed when he told her to take a seat earlier, sighed when he handed her whatever frozen food he found in the freezer for her black eye, and sighed when he finally found what he was looking for.

For once, the man didn't give her a small smile. Didn't tell her everything was alright, didn't remind her that workers are fickle and usually standoffish. Instead he was silent. Unspoken words remained in his mind, rather than his tongue. She sighed once more at the thought and frowned.

“You're upset with me,” spoken in a whisper, as the eye that wasn't covered with a frozen food flickered over to him.

“No, ma'am, I'm not.” A pause settled between them as she watched him look her over and frown. He placed a bottle of peroxide beside him, along with a roll of paper towels, before he sat down in front of her - the chair screeched against the kitchen floor. “They shouldn't have been talking about your family.”

“You're saying they deserve to be on the brink of death?” Pointed and distanced, she knew better than to think he would agree but asked in frustration. The heat of the emotion soothed her well more than any other; at least anger felt like a warm hug rather than a frigid slap.

He locked eyes with her for only a moment, desperately tried to decipher the swirling and dipping within them, but turned his gaze when he couldn't. Instead, he let out a breath as he took the bottle of peroxide and tipped it into a paper towel. “I'm saying they shouldn't talk about your family.”

The woman only hummed at the notion, but the grotesque feeling of shame crept up to her. He was disappointed, though he wouldn't say it, and it made her stomach tie in knots at the mere thought. Kita was compassionate, endearing, but cold and calculated when it came to his beliefs. What was right, in his eyes, would always outweigh all else.

She felt him rub that coarse paper towel over her arm, and hissed as the liquid on it seeped into wounds. He continued on in silence; however, only pausing to give her a moment's peace from pain every now and then. But the surge of true agony came when he moved to her knuckles, busted and bloodied - broken.

The yelp she let out, followed by a string of swears, made him pull away and look at her in worry. It was as if he put the disappointment on the back burner without a second thought, removed it from the forefront of his mind as soon as he believed he had truly hurt her. “I think your knuckles are broken,” a wary sentence, but not spoken from fear.

“No shit, Kita,” she groaned as she placed the, now thawed, food down on the table from her eye. The frustration never, really, left her from earlier, only festered and bubbled until it came to a head once more. She pulled her hand away from him and looked down, finally taking in the blood and bruises that littered her. Her dominant hand was swollen, knuckles busted and caked in blood - some hers, some not - and her eyes flickered over to the other hand.

The non-dominant seemed far worse, as the man in front of her hadn't moved to it, hadn't cleaned it. She found it hard to take in the sight, battered and bloodied never seemed to be exactly what she wished for, and moved her gaze to him. “God-” muttered under her breath as she tried to make a fist, but stopped upon realizing she couldn't. “They're definitely broken.”

“You'll have to get it checked out,” to which she only sighed and agreed. “Can I have your other arm, then? I don't want to hurt you.” She nodded.

She never realized how cold the man ran until his fingers were touching her palm, almost holding it as he repeated the same process from before on her other arm. She knew it meant nothing, only for ease to clean her wounds, but her cheeks felt hot regardless. His fingers were calloused from work, but his touch was gentle, as if he'd break her at any moment from being too rough. It was a care she hadn't felt from another in a long time.

“You should let your boyfriend know you broke your knuckles.” There was a twinge of discontent in his tone, his voice falling down as he spoke of another in her life, a tone she failed to notice. A timbre that always went over her head, as Kita Shinsuke, in her mind, would never go for a woman like her - harsh and callous. Wild and standoffish. Everything he believed against.

“Why?”

“Might worry him,” he shrugged. “I'd be worried if my partner broke their knuckles.”

“I don't think he'd be too worried,” she began and his eyes flickered to meet hers, brows scrunched in confusion. “I broke up with him.” She heard him hum in response. In reality, the man was over the moon about the news, but would never let it show. All too often did he notice the woman’s past partners, and each and every one didn’t tick the boxes that were required of them by her. Whether it be demanding, brash, or an out right lack of character, he always heard about them, and he always kept silent. “‘Said I was too intense and should calm down, so I told him to fuck off. ‘Said I was crazy too,” she sighed and dropped her eyes to her hand. “Maybe he's right.”

He shook his head and pulled away from her arm, nearly cleaned off so he decided to give her a break from the stinging liquid. “He's not.”

“You're just saying that so you don't end up like the other person just now.”

“Regardless of what happened, I don't think you're crazy.” A wave of deja vu hit him then; having had the conversation before with her a number of times, and every time it made his heart sink further. He hoped one day she would find someone to make her happy, to treat her well; whether or not that was him, he didn't mind. As long as the woman in front of him found the joy she so greatly deserved, he believed he could die content. “I think he's an asshole for saying something so wrong. You deserve someone who treats you with respect, like an equal.”

Her lips pulled into a small smile at the notion, hearing his voice change slightly in frustration. A barely there emotion for him, but one the woman poked and prodded at whenever it arose. “I didn't know you knew how to swear,” she mused, and kept the same smile. There was a long silence that filled the room, and she closed her eyes to enjoy it for once as her smile slowly dropped. Anger was the only emotion she truly felt at peace with, the sticky, hot emotion felt nice even if it burned her right down to the embers. Flames felt better than the frost bite of the cold.

The man remained silent as he returned to cleaning her wounds, focusing now on her non-dominant hand that wasn’t fractured. Beneath blood and dirt, he found hands he never took the time to look at. Calloused, from what he imagined to be a life’s work of farm chores, and scarred from other altercations. Knuckles littered with small scrapes and bumps from a life filled with vengeance, proving herself to be as strong as she spoke, and an anger that fueled every wrongdoing she ever made.

Once he was done, he pulled away once more. He held a small frown as his eyes looked over her face. Blood spattered and bruised, and a black ring started to form under her left eye. Her eyes were closed; however, and she seemed rather peaceful despite the juxtaposition of her attire. But he had grown accustomed to seeing her pull her mind away from whatever was going on, removing herself from a situation all while being there physically. An unhealthy, testy habit he learned she picked up years ago. Fight or flight always moved from decimate to flee.

“May I clean your cheek?” He asked quietly, and she nodded at his question that broke the silence. She felt her breath hitch in her throat; however, when he scooted closer to her. Knees just barely touched as she heard his chair screech against the kitchen floor. The man radiated warmth, the fleeting touch on her knee sent a shockwave through her soul, and she hated it. She reopened her eyes to look at him, to tell him to move back, but was rendered speechless when she did. Kita looked at her like she was the only woman in the world that mattered, and it made her want to heave.

His eyes were focused as he pressed the peroxide soaked paper towel on her cheek, unwavering and respectful as he looked over her features. “They got you pretty good.” Spoken through a barely there smile, and her breath failed her. He was close enough she could smell the earthiness of his clothes, sweat and dirt muddled with the soap from his laundry detergent. And for the first time in her life she felt flustered.

“Yeah,” she whispered, and turned her eyes away from his own. “But you saw how they looked.” He only hummed in response and her eyes moved down his physique, finally taking them in. The man had strong, toned arms hidden underneath long sleeves, but was rather small in comparison to how much he was capable of - brute force she often coined as ‘cowboy strength.’ As her eyes wandered further, she noticed the dirt and mud on his pants, and specks of blood that seeped through denim; she came to the conclusion the blood was her own, as the only scratches on the man were on his hands. “I'm sorry.”

He seemed taken back by the words at first, unfamiliar with the phrase to come from the woman. But quickly brushed it off as if it were nothing. “For what? You didn't do nothin’ to me.”

“Fightin’ you so hard,” she mumbled before wincing as he touched the peroxide to another cut on her cheek.

He mumbled a gentle, “sorry,” before she continued on.

“You were just trying to help.” Slowly but surely, she began to resent her own actions because of how much the man inserted himself in them. Oftentimes, coming far too close for comfort at the end of her hellish anger. But even still, he remained. Not once did Kita ever stray away, despite how gruesome or ugly things became. It made her stomach tie in knots, and the blood in her veins run scalding hot - she believed down to her every fiber that she should hate him for it. But she couldn’t.

“Don't worry-”

“Can it,” she cut him off with a harsh breath. “Don't sit here and tell me not to worry about it, when I know you’re probably all black and blue.”

“It's fine, I-”

“But it's not fine,” she huffed. “You put up this front of being so compassionate, sweet, and kind. But I know, deep down, you think I'm the biggest idiot alive; flying off the handle again just because someone had some choice words.” Her voice had gotten louder with every phrase, and she didn’t notice he had pulled away. The woman had a knack for biting and snapping at those who aided her, she always believed they didn’t mean such words. She would always bite the hand that fed her, and she didn’t care if she starved as a result.

“Why would I think that?”

He phrased the question gently, thoughtfully, as he knew one wrong move meant the dial got turned to max. But the fire already roared in her eyes, so he sat there and bore the blaze regardless. “Because everyone thinks that!” Her voice was loud in comparison to the quiet kitchen, but pained when every syllable came out forced. There was a moment's pause and he watched her let out a loud sigh before she continued on. “Everyone thinks that, Kita,” she repeated, softer as he saw her shoulders drop. “I'm the crazy woman with an already lit fuse just waiting to blow up.”

Her eyes returned to the man in that moment, and watched as his eyes flickered over her face. Slow and methodical, calculated but not cold. As if he were trying to figure out how she ticked, to see the gears turning in her mind. “I wish you'd give yourself more credit, ma'am.”

“What?” Was all that managed to slip past her lips, brows scrunched and mind unsure.

“Give yourself more credit,” he reassured. “So you're angry? Anger doesn't make you crazy, it makes you human. People just don't realize they got something good until it's gone.”

“I'm not a good person, Kita. I-”

“Sure you are.” She didn't think the man was one to cut her off, or frankly had the gumption to do so, but she promptly closed her mouth when he did. There was something about the man she found captivating - enthralling. She found it endearing to be in his presence, feeling almost normal as he spoke to her like anyone else, like an equal. His kindness never went unnoticed, despite how it filled her with a heat she found foreign and misjudged for anger. “If you weren't a good person, you wouldn't do the things you do.”

The man continued on per usual, back to treating her cuts and scrapes as if it were something to brush off. He tipped the peroxide once more into a paper towel, and leaned in, and once more she found herself flushed over the proximity. “Like what exactly?”

“You're one of the most hardworking people I know,” he began with a small smile. “You're steadfast in your beliefs, you're loyal, and you care a lot more than you let on.” His touch was gentle, even as he scrubbed and wiped at the dried blood on her face. A care that was meticulous, a care that made her stomach churn. “You don't let your dad work in the fields anymore since he's gotten older, you treat every worker you're on good terms with like an old friend, and I don't think I've ever seen you let someone leave here hungry - friend or foe alike.”

A sharp tongue and vile words had no sanction here, no foothold as she swallowed hard. Her vision became fogged as eyes welled with tears, an action that was foreign - an action that felt wrong. She bit her tongue hard at the feeling, and swallowed once more, briskly fighting off the lump in her throat and the sorrowful emotion in one fell swoop. The woman was sorely mistaken that she had succeeded, and felt the sickly drip of a tear run down her face.

She had expected him to acknowledge it, to coddle her, like many did when she was young. To give pity even though it felt like a steak knife through the gut, and to wallow in the emotion with her. Because what was worse than a poor woman crying? But he didn't. Instead, she felt him wipe it away. Simply and softly, even going as far to disguise his action through wiping at the blood just under her eye.

“You're a good person.” He assured, “even good people get angry and do things they shouldn't.”

It was as if she felt the world stop spinning. Forever locked in a perpetual cycle of wanting to vomit and wanting to engulf the man in a hug. But she did neither, as all she could do was stare. To lock eyes with him and hope he would never pull away, to keep the moment until the end of her days. “Shinsuke?”

The call of his given name made his stomach lurch to his throat, and he felt his cheeks get hot at the notion alone. He faltered in his actions, only for a second, before he continued on. “Yes, ma'am?”

“You're not scared of me at all, are you?”

“No.” He assured, and he gave her a small smile. A smile that said it was alright, a smile that held the compassion she needed. “Not at all.”

taglist (open, send an ask)

@wyrcan @chizunata @seroh @chemiru @standcom

@h3xi2g0n3 @localgaytrainwreck @mollyrolls @causenessus @diorzs

@rory-cakes @phoenix-eclipses @pattys-got-cakes @girlkissersco

@jaynawayna @aliensstolemyheart @le000xxgrd @cherrypieyourface @theycallmenanamisgirl

@softpia @bokutoko @guitarstringed-scars @totallytatum @bakery-anon

@hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @eggyrocks @angelichwv

@wakashudou @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @localgaytrainwreck

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

HOLY MOTHER OF ALBERU THIS IS AMAZING

Okay but super really? this is incredible. I feel like I'm going to be watching this on repeat for 15 hours until I've extracted all the happy hormones that it's emitting

The world's greatest actor || Og Cale animatic

After 155 frame later I present to you my tribute to the original occupant of cale henituse body

Do I gonna make something like this again in near future? Well who knows

[hy0ung]

Ateez: dating or single

Reading for @kiwilover17 , 05/01/2025

Hongjoong: 10 of swords and the hermit, definitely not dating and i risk to say that he won’t get involved with anyone for a while. Betrayed energy here tbh, with some self reflection, so i think he might had a recent or a hurtful breakup and doesn’t intend date anyone for a while

Seonghwa: Five of cups, 10 of wands and the devil. Definitely not and he’s also very hurt. I posted readings before about his struggles in his love life and it seems that he never learns and keeps going to toxic people that hurts him. But i won’t defend him that much cause he knows (by what i see here) that he doesn’t have the best choices but still go for it, so yeah, he just prefers to pretend he’s blind than face his fears. It gives“scared to be lonely”. But right now, not dating.

Yunho: The emperor, 3 of swords and 6 of wands. I’m getting worried about them??? What is going on with this amount of breakups? I thought sza said “it’s cuffing season” and not “it’s singles season” but holy shit? Well but here i don’t see yunho getting his heart broken, but him breaking hearts instead. I don’t think was a serious relationship, just a fling, but i do think the person wanted something more, but yunho don’t. The thing is that i think he didn’t wanted to hurt this person, but it happened. He feels bad for them and liked them, but not enough to stay.

Yeosang: Finally! Well, i may say that for me, Yeosang was the member in a really long relationship, i’d say 2-3 years. But, as i said, he was. Not anymore. But good news: 6 of swords, the lovers, 3 of cups and page of cups! He is going to find someone soon and i think that possibly can be his FS, and Jesus the energy here is really beautiful. I for real felt my heart warm and im getting goosebumps like crazy, and i can see Yeosang really in love. I’m not even kidding that i have tears in my eyes, im so happy for him, he will be so happy with this person!🥺🥺

San: king of pentacles, king of swords, 2 of swords and 6 of pentacles. I think he’s also single, seems more focused on his career, finances and material aspects right now. It seems like he had a chance, but chose his career for now.

Mingi: 4 of swords and 3 of wands. Be fucking for real ateez, are you afraid of dating? Mingi is in his chill phase, enjoying his life but no love for now

Wooyoung: 7 of wands reversed, king of wands, knight of swords and 9 of wands. This combination means a “no” or a very complicated “maybe”, but i feel more the “no”. He might was involved in something casual, but i see it got too complicated or too full of drama that was tiring for him. The 9 of wands really gives me the “im tired” energy, and even some relief of being free of the situation

Jongho: the fool, queen of pentacles and the devil. Not dating, but definitely not alone. Jjong is feeling adventurous and enjoying the opportunities that come from him, mostly of them just flings and ONS. Some of this flings could be something more but is like the two of them are analyzing if they want commit or not.

Be fucking serious, the maknae is the only who isn’t bitcheless? You gotta be kidding me, but okay. That’s the reading. I thought i’d see them already married but gosh, their love life is worse than mine. Good luck for teezers 👍🏻

[breelandwalker]

For the witchy questions, do you usually do circles and call quarters, when you're casting spells?

Me personally? No I do not. The only time I've ever used a circle was for certain complicated rituals or in-person group workings. And I've never felt a need to call the quarters in my workings.

To me, these things are pretty heavily connected to Wiccan practices and certain types of ritual magic, and that's just different from how I prefer to do things. (Necessary sidebar to state that there's nothing wrong with Wicca or ritual magic, it's just not my bag personally.)

Honestly, most of the magic that I do is either enchantment-based, with a physical item functioning as the focus and/or anchor of the spell, or nature-related, directly tied to the land I'm living on and the plants and creatures that inhabit it. A good deal of it is very quick and very simple, not really lasting long enough to need a circle or an opening incantation.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Sorry is this ask is bothersome but I need some advice.

I while ago I was going through a really bad time mentally but found solace in a fandom. I became friends with a person that I met in a particular fandom and they encouraged me to get into fanfiction and it really helped my mental health as a form of escapism.

After about a year I took the plunge into writing my own fanfics for the fandom and at first they were well received. But then a gender swapped the characters.

For context- in this fandom most of the characters are male and almost all the fanfics available are canon compliant in this regard and I so I wanted to explore an au where all the characters were women instead. I posted a few chapters and was excited for feedback but then my friend from the fandom saw my new fic and messaged me telling me to take it down because it was problematic.

I asked them to explain why and they said that changing canon like that just for the "fun" of it wasn't ok and that if I'm going to "mess around with the characters identities" then I should make them trans instead.

I told her I wasn't comfortable making the characters trans because I myself am not trans and don't feel like I am educated enough to write about gender identities/experiences that I haven't gone through and I don't want to accidentally write something disrespectful.

My friend got back to me and said that take was even more problematic. I asked her to explain further because I was really confused by this point but she didn't get back to me.

A few days later I found out she had told all the people in the discord we were in together that I was being problematic regarding canon and I'm guessing she also went to my bookmarks and sent screenshots to everyone of the "problematic" ships and fics I like??

And now I'm getting hateful messages from people who used to be my friends in the fandom and I don't know what to do.

Should I make the characters male again like they are in canon? Or take the fic down altogether?

Hi anon,

So the short answer is:

You can write genderbending. Every fic is problematic somehow to different people and audiences. Trans people don't all agree on genderbending so you're not going to get a single "correct" answer. Don't take down the fic unless you want to. Don't change the fic unless you want to. Get some better friends. It's worth educating yourself further about this subject.

The longer answer is behind the Read More:

Genderbending is complicated and nuanced and there's a ton of discussion about it. I highly recommend you go somewhere like FanLore to check that out. Especially the further reading section, to see multiple sides of the discussion to then decide how you feel.

There are trans people who love cis genderbends. There are trans people who hate them. There are trans people who don't think they should exist. There are trans people who don't give a shit. There are trans people who want more to exist. There are trans people who think only trans people should be allowed to write any kind of genderbend. There are trans people who think no trans person should ever want to write cis genderbend.

My perspective (as a trans person) is closest to this archived Tumblr post linked here.

With this quote from mercurialmalcontent:

Changing a character to the ‘opposite’ cis gender is a very different thing than making them trans or nonbinary. Insisting that people only change characters to trans is also really damn invalidating, because it implies that being trans is interchangable with being cis. Whoopsie doodle!

And then the entire response from roachpatrol, especially:

so like. people now reducing the issue to ‘cis people are gross and hate trans people’ is pretty ridiculous. it ignores basically twenty years of women questioning, confronting and then dismantling the de-facto heteronormative, exploitative male gaze in order to create the radically progressive fandom atmosphere as we know it today on tumblr. 

And then also this from curriebelle:

there’s nothing inherently transphobic about art that explores gender - quite the opposite, I think - and that’s what genderbends are about. It can be hugelybeneficial to imagine male characters as female in order to explore roles that aren’t traditionally given to women

~

I think the main thing is that in fandom, many trans people have been forced to confront how they feel about genderbends (or cis swaps), whereas many cis people never have to think about it due to cis privilege. That doesn't mean writing it is bad by default, it doesn't mean fics that feature it shouldn't exist, and it doesn't mean problematic fanfiction is bad either. Like I said, everything is problematic to someone.

What actually bothers me the most is that people who you think of as "friends" are trying to police you in this way. Obviously I don't know the full story or the content of the fic, so maybe there's greater context going on that I'm missing. But on the surface, genderbends aren't inherently transphobic, even if some trans people don't like them, or feel dysphoria over them existing.

Ultimately genderbends aren't also often about the trans experience. It's really weird for your friends to assume that writing a story about a bunch of cis women, and a bunch of trans women is going to be exactly the same, or that one is inherently "better" than the other. Trans women experience some different issues (depending on the world), and the stories are likely to have different elements to them. And you're right, not feeling comfortable telling a trans story when you're a cis person wanting to write about cis women does actually make a lot of sense. That doesn't mean you can't do it, but it does make it clear why you didn't do it.

Anon, a friend who is quick to tell a whole bunch of people on a Discord server that you're writing a fic with content they don't like is not a friend, let alone a good friend. They might have once been very caring, but their response here indicates they're putting up a chance to seem righteous and 'moral' above actually caring about you or what you have to say. Especially in a situation where honestly a lot of trans people don't agree with each other, but we all mostly agree not to be dicks to people who write this stuff and to just live and let live.

(Also, trans people can write trans fic that other trans folk feel is transphobic! Something that heals and helps one person, hurts another, that's why the rule in fiction for things like this is very much: "don't like, don't read" and also: learn about it, do some research into it, but you don't have to morally justify what you like in fiction and fiction is the place to write this stuff - it is literally pure fantasy. Heck, some trans people love cis swaps precisely because it's a cis swap instead of a specifically trans narrative, the same reason some trans people hate them. We're not all a monolith with one opinion. Thank god).

Going into your bookmarks to reveal the 'problematic' things you like to a bunch of randos screams of anti-nonsense, people who judge other people's morals based off the fiction they enjoy. Folks like this think it's okay to humiliate, degrade and abuse people over what they enjoy in fiction.

Honestly, if it were me, I'd block these people. Trans people aren't magically free from being abusive shitheads, just like everyone else.

Your friend may have been a friend once, but what they're doing now is just shitty. Ironically, it's also pretty transphobic to the trans people who love and write cis swap and also the trans people who love and read it.

[nextinline-if]

I don't know if you're still answering asks or anything but going through some of the asks has me thinking of so many questions lol these are all from the perspective of ex-lover F

how would F react with hurt MC confronting them with "I'm not just going to be your second choice! I deserve better than that. You left me for someone else, I honestly doubt you ever even loved me." before storming of with tears rolling down their face and I guess maybe F realizing they might have completely fucked everything up with MC?

Also does F consider how much bringing up their spouse in front of MC hurts MC and makes it feel like they got left behind for someone else?

And oh man knowing F slept with Lucille is kinda like a gut punch oof, When playing the game I assumed they married as friends and with F having feelings for MC that meant they didn't have sex but it being confirmed on here is like daaaaaamn like F you didn't just break my heart you fucking destroyed it, What are Fs' feelings on this matter if this is how MC felt? (especially it being it hurt the MC cause they ran off and slept with someone else while the MC loved them like MC is not bothered by anyone else's body count cause you know they weren't in love with them and didn't have shared feelings, its more the betrayal of trust causing this hurt. Like if F had given a proper goodbye and a proper rejection of MC feelings/breakup it wouldn't be as painful for MC, I guess my main point still being is how does F feel about an MC hurt they slept with Lucille?)

and I wanted to ask is if Percival was still around and since he was the one who invited Felix and F back how would he feel seeing at how hurt the MC is to the return of F or just seeing the MC even more heartbroken being around F?

oh one more angst question that applies personally to my MC and F, I play as Trans man MC who is exes with Fredrick just a scenario of my MC with his head down asking Fredrick "Is it because of how I am.......is that why you had to find someone else?" (I'm a trans man so I love getting to play characters true to me so thank you)

Sorry for the ramble lol I hope this ask wasn't too much or weird, I don't think I have ever sent an ask this long before to anyone lol but your IF is very fun and inspiring so thank you! ಥ_ಥ

hi anonymous! I have been on here in a while so I no clue when you sent this I'm sorry about that :) I didn't answer everything but hopefully this is sufficient.

how would F react with hurt MC confronting them with "I'm not just going to be your second choice! I deserve better than that. You left me for someone else, I honestly doubt you ever even loved me." before storming of with tears rolling down their face and I guess maybe F realizing they might have completely fucked everything up with MC?

F is frozen in place, their throat caught in their throat. Not from the shock of your words but from the shock of realizing just how badly they fucked up. From realizing that the little sliver of hope that was blossoming in their bosom may very well be snuffed out.

I guess my main point still being is how does F feel about an MC hurt they slept with Lucille?

This is complicated to answer, to be honest. I've answered A LOT of asks on this blog so it's been quite a while since I stated this but F slept with Lucille and did not enjoy it and really only did it for "duty". F would absolutely understand why MC would be hurt by them sleeping with Lucille but they know that they can't go back and fix that (or the other mistakes).

and I wanted to ask is if Percival was still around and since he was the one who invited Felix and F back how would he feel seeing at how hurt the MC is to the return of F or just seeing the MC even more heartbroken being around F?

If Percival were still around, he would be upset that MC is suffering. However, the fatherly & kingly part of him that carries wisdom would tell MC how important it is to face the things that break us with courage. MC deserves closure of some kind. That may be moving forward with F. It may not be. Percival would support MC but also encourage them to face their demons.

oh one more angst question that applies personally to my MC and F, I play as Trans man MC who is exes with Fredrick just a scenario of my MC with his head down asking Fredrick "Is it because of how I am.......is that why you had to find someone else?" (I'm a trans man so I love getting to play characters true to me so thank you)

I can only imagine the gut punch for your MC!

F falls to their knees, your hand in theirs, their eyes searching yours. "I'm an idiot, MC," they whisper, their voice soft and broken, haggard F places a tentative and soft kiss on your hand, "Let me spend every day showing you that my leaving has to do with how stupid I am and not because of you. Never because of you," F begs softly, gazing up at you.

Sorry for the ramble lol I hope this ask wasn't too much or weird, I don't think I have ever sent an ask this long before to anyone lol but your IF is very fun and inspiring so thank you! ಥ_ಥ

Please don't apologize. Your ask meant so much to me. And you playing my IF means so much to me. Thank you!

-Vi

[aventurineswife]

I have an idea for part 2 of the past meets future

The characters realise that they married to their crush or rival(basically rivals to lovers) when the future child(ren) found reader

A Future We Never Imagined

Tags: Gepard x Reader, Sampo x Reader, Future child, Humor, Rivals-to-lovers, Banter, Slow Burn.

Warnings: Mild language, Mentions of Unplanned Parenthood (in a comedic context), Light Romantic Tension.

A/N: Pretty much rushed and uh yeah, don't ask for another part because I couldn't come up with anything sorry 🧍‍♀️ not proud of this but I can't come up with anything else so sorry to disappoint ya

[Previously]

Gepard stared at the child before him, still reeling from their earlier revelation. The idea of having a child—let alone with someone he hadn’t even considered confessing his feelings to—was beyond comprehension. Yet, the child’s resemblance to him was undeniable.

"I have more questions than answers," he admitted, his voice steady despite the whirlwind in his mind. "But if you’re really my child… who is your other parent?"

The child hesitated, fidgeting with the device in their hands. "Well… I guess you should know sooner rather than later," they muttered, their tone betraying a hint of amusement.

Before Gepard could press further, the door to his quarters swung open. "Captain Landau, I need a word—"

There you were: the last person Gepard expected, standing frozen in the doorway. His crush—and long-time rival in both skill and stubbornness.

The child’s face lit up. "Oh, hey! Mom/Dad/Parent B! Or, uh, future Parent B?"

Gepard’s jaw dropped. "You mean… them?"

You blinked, your face a mixture of shock and disbelief. "Wait. Me? With you?" You pointed incredulously at him, cheeks turning a deep red.

The child sighed dramatically. "Yes, yes, you two were rivals or whatever, but then you got over yourselves, fell in love, and had me! Can we skip the disbelief part now?"

Gepard groaned, his sense of duty colliding with the ridiculousness of the situation. "This is… highly unprofessional."

But you shot him a mischievous smirk. "Looks like we have a lot to talk about, Captain."

The child chuckled. "Yeah, and you thought guarding Belobog was complicated."

Sampo leaned casually against the workbench, his usual grin plastered across his face, but internally, his thoughts were racing. He had a kid? A kid from the future? And apparently with someone he didn’t even get along with?

"Alright, kiddo," he said, his tone light, "spill it. Who’s your other parent?"

The child raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Oh, you’re gonna love this. It's your favorite rival."

As if on cue, the workshop door creaked open, revealing you, who immediately froze in place at the sight of Sampo and the child.

"You," you hissed, glaring at Sampo. "What have you done this time?"

"Me?" Sampo held up his hands, feigning innocence. "I’m just as surprised as you are! Apparently, we… uh, work things out in the future." He winked, earning a groan from you.

The child grinned mischievously. "You two stop fighting long enough to fall in love. And then you have me. Pretty cool, right?"

You turned an impressive shade of red. "That… that’s impossible. I’d never—"

"Ah, but apparently, you do," Sampo interjected, stepping closer with a teasing smirk. "And I’ve got to say, I always suspected there was something under all that… animosity."

"Don’t push your luck, Koski."

The child clapped their hands. "So! Now that you know, can we focus on the part where I’m stuck here and need your help to get back to the future?"

Sampo chuckled, placing a hand on the child’s shoulder. "Sure thing, kiddo. But first, I think your other parent and I need to… clear the air a bit."

You glared at him but didn’t argue, leaving Sampo to wonder if, just maybe, this future wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

[erollhitchens]

Does anyone else prefer Hunter and Willow as just friends?

To be clear this isn't me saying I have anything against the ship or people who ship them I'm just sorta wondering if anyone else just prefers to think of them as close friends by the end

as I always just got that impression from them more than I did a Romantic one and I do think that same as with Gus Hunter and Willow have a pretty cute friendship

and the three of them are a nice little trio that I don't personally think really needs any Romance complicating things.

I guess at the end of the day I'm a person who appreciates a nice close friendship in media over Romance most of the time, and I'm just wondering if anyone else felt the same?

since I know its a popular ship and I don't normally see any one else talk about them as possibly just being close friends.

[grison-in-space]

It's true. I watched three seasons of the Good Doctor before I became aware of the memes making fun of Shaun's portrayal. I have complicated feelings about the show, but my feelings about the memes are a lot less complicated. A lot of the outrage about him really does feel like discomfort about the extent to which Shaun doesn't mask and overloads "publicly."

I have had a meltdown like Shaun's over my career, which I have worked very hard on for a very long time, and which I nearly lost (and thought then that I had lost) because I fucked up a social interaction. It was scary. I have more control over my life now and I can usually avoid experiences that knock me into meltdown as an adult, but not always.

The memes remind me of how my mother used to make fun of me for the way I held my chin when I got mad. They remind me of being teased for not successfully masking or performing. They remind me of consequences.

I think you are right on the money about how high masking people react to this show, because it is in many ways about being visibly autistic in a way that can't be masked. The thing about masking is that you usually learn to do it by positive punishment—that is, failing to correctly mask is a trigger for something unpleasant to happen to you socially. It was for me. So seeing a character failing to mask, even when masking might fix a social problem, becomes really frightening and disturbing, because you have been conditioned that this means a consequence is coming. Especially if you've built up your masking reflexes so they're semiconscious, so you're not very aware of them, it looks like a character failing to do the obvious things to keep them from falling into big scary social consequence traps. Human brains are very good at constructing superficial reasons for why the emotional reactions we have make sense, so I'm not surprised that a lot of people automatically go "this character portrayal stresses me out, so the problem is the portrayal, which is bad."

Knowing why it happens doesn't make the phenomenon good or okay. It doesn't stop the byblow damage you're describing either, Loaf. It just sucks. Because the ability to successfully mask, in a person who has the capacity to do so, is a function of stress and support: the capacity to mask can and does fuck off if the level of external stress can't be matched by the supports and internal energy reserves a person has access to.

Masking is just passing. Passing can be revoked at any time and it's expensive. It's just... what do you think the self under the mask looks like? Do you think we get trained to mask because the autistic person under that mask is exactly like the shape of the performance we deliver while wearing it? Do you think that person is free of stilted words or gutteral noises or meltdowns or hopeful offers to talk about special interests or that special rigidity of the mind that won't let something go even when that would be obviously better for the social dynamic or all the rest of it?

never watched the good doctor n never plan to. so maybe not good person talk about this. but never plan to watch it because in fact kinda hate it (mainly because once someone be ableist about high support needs autism n excuse it using shaun & say how they know what HSN is because they call shaun is, n quoting, “very high support needs” n he very. much. not. but anyway) — so this also give weight to what am going say

do see how people make fun of shaun (main character). like “i am a surgeon/sturgeon” memes n so much more. my favorite show house md & keep especially see meme compare house with sean autism to make fun of shaun—make fun of irony of “shaun be explicit autistic but bad autism representation & house not supposed to be / not explicit (depend on interpretation) autistic but somehow way better autism rep than shaun” situation. like:

[id: two meme compare sean with house about autism.

1: left side is shaun screaming/meltdown in “i am surgeon” scene with “bad autism rep” write on top. right side house in prison suit with “good autism rep” write on top.

2: twitter screenshot from rooster @/ househiscane. left is picture of shaun n have “autistic doctor” non capitalized on top. right is picture of house with stereo n “AUTISTIC doctor” on top, with “AUTISTIC” in all caps. at time of screenshot, have 648k views.

end id]

n again, never watched the good doctor. so maybe in show there truly part where not great n ableist n problematic autism rep. BUT.

from all these memes. n all these people justify how they hate sean how them make fun of shaun is okay. don’t see evidence for how shaun & show represent autism in some truly problematic way.

instead. see visibly autistic person. see people describe trait of visibly autistic person. see people make fun of visibly autistic traits. see a visibly autistic and low support needs person.

see same rhetoric used by non autistic AND AUTISTIC people to make fun of n be ableist to me, visible autistic (high support needs) person. that am embarrassing. that am stereotype. that “no autistic person act like this.” that “you make me embarrassed be autistic.” that am make autistic people look bad. the r word.

every single one of those thing, have heard it also be use call shaun.

versus. house, he’s asshole, he’s visibly asshole, n because of that he’s dynamic he’s well rounded. but he’s not visibly autistic.

n so suspect in big part, or even, entire unspoken point of these comparison, or meme against shaun, is because. house is not visibly autistic so relatable n thus good to audience of mainly high masking autustics. he the real autism rep. he the good autism rep. he the ACTUALLY autistic rep. shaun is visibly autistic n thus not.

from crowd that champion unmasking! be free! be yourself! but say nothing, or in this case nothing good, about people who cannot mask or be put in genuine life danger if choose unmask. from crowd that say autistic meltdowns not tantrum! normalize autistic meltdown! it’s okay! don’t record or make fun of or comment on someone’s worst moments! but make fun of visibly autistic person meltdown in public.

although should not be surprised. should not be! this same crowd that not know what visibly autistic actually is. or even not believe it even exist. same crowd that think unmasking will make them visibly autistic same way it make me visibly autistic. same crowd that think it mean just some occasional happy hand flapping. same crowd that call themselves visibly autistic because they do those occasional hand flapping n in next sentence complain about be told “but you don’t look autistic.” same crowd that say autism not have look. same crowd that permanently group autism into invisibly disability.

same crowd that cannot fathom autistic person different from them.

same crowd that bully n exclude n speak over n be ableist towards me.

like it the autism show to acceptable make fun of, it the autistic character to acceptable make fun of. it the show n character where u can let out all your offensive edgy ableist anti-autistic feelings, go mask off about it. it acceptable. everyone do it. even autistic people do it. especially autistic people do it. especially high masking autistic do it. autistic people who do it n justify it okay because they autistic n that grant them free pass.

criticize how any show represent autism badly problematically. that okay! that acceptable! that great! not telling you you can’t. — don’t doubt in the good doctor there not parts that make you wince in bad way because it speak terribly for autism.

but if all your “reasoning” for why that autism rep is. traits of visibly autistic person. or, (not applicable in this case), traits of high support needs & traits of level 2/3 autism. it’s not criticism you just ableist.

you all say visibly autistic people get enough rep already that it’s time for low support needs invisibly autistic high masking autistic women (& white—but shhh that part shouldn’t be say out loud) be in center of representation.

you all can’t even handle a visibly autistic character that’s low support needs and CISGENDER WHITE MAN.

once again. am hate this fucking show. n am here defending it.

is it genuinely bad rep or is character just visibly autistic.

[unitedstates0fdakota]

That small conversation about names in disco elysium has been stuck with me since I finished my first playthrough because they just put into words so perfectly the feelings I have with my own name and identity.

Harry’s comment about his name being something he “ruined” especially resonated with me. My name has been through so much since I was a kid. It’s what people yell when they’re annoyed at me, when I’ve messed up, when someone doesn’t like me, when people talk about me when they think I can’t hear them…it makes your name feel like a burden, or a reminder of your mistakes. I also feel Kim’s reaction to the same thoughts. Even though I can feel trapped by the name I’ve been given, I’m not sure if it would be an easy thing to just leave behind. I don’t hate my name, I think I just hate what I’ve done to it. And yet I still respond to it. What does that say about me?