#just felt like i should include that link given everything that's going on down there. if there are better links share them in the notes

[orkowhereheshouldntbe]

[ID in ALT!]

Orko at Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park. Getting a little too close to the volcano there, Orko...

(Here's a link to the Maui Strong Relief Fund, by the way.)

[acapelladitty]

Strike A Bargain, Light A Match

Pairing: The Ghoul/Female Reader

AO3 Link

Fic Masterlist

Summary: Stuck in the desert and desperate for water, you find yourself captured by a ghoul who makes you an offer that you simply cannot refuse. (2.8k words)

(tw for: blowjobs, mildly dubious consent, cum marking, ropes/restraints, dirty talk, mild force, throat fucking)

As with most things in life, if something seemed too good to be true then it always was.

A canister, clear and blue and brimming with water, would always stand out against the desert background like a sore thumb and you knew that something wasn’t right. But, needs must, and the thirst which clawed at your senses made you stupid.

Christ, your fingers had barely brushed the lid of the canister when you were attacked.

You hadn't seen the rope arching towards you but you had felt the effect as it looped around your legs, quick as a bullet, and pulled them out from under you - slamming your body to the ground as a thick plume of dirt kicked up around your stunned frame to block out the darkening sky.

Voice hoarse due to the lack of moisture in your body, the sound that you made was almost like that of an animal, keening and rough, as you writhed on the ground. Hands flying to the rope which is encasing your legs, your fingers freeze in place as the unmistakable click of a gun echoes in your ear.

"Don't be touching that rope, darlin'. You trying to steal from me just got you a one-way ticket to a shakedown."

Accented words, smooth and deliberate, force you to look up and you wince in place at the horrific sight which blocked out the sky above as your would-be captor loomed over you.

Reddened skin, pocked and marked by radiation, with a gaping hole where the nose should have been gazed back down at you - marred features twisted into vague amusement as the skilled hunter took in your shocked expression.

A ghoul.

"Let me go." You croak out, throat feeling red and raw - a natural feeling given that it had now been over twelve hours since you'd had any water. "Let me up!" You cry, kicking out at the dirt.

"Not going to happen." The ghoul answers back without pause, his body shifting around so that he was standing tactfully to the side of your kicking legs. "Not even if you ask nicely, which you didn't."

"I didn't know it belonged to anyone." You try to say but the words burn and die out as a vicious cough wracks your upper body. The last week had been rough. A run in with raiders had robbed you of your latest haul and that included the meagre amounts of water that you had been able to gather in this vast, dusted part of the wasteland.

Watching you cough with a blank expression, the ghouls fingers disappear into his ratty coat as he pulls free a small, metallic flask from one of the inner pockets.

"Ain't listening to that shit."

Dropping to his haunches, his free hand grips your chin roughly, calloused fingers giving you no room to move as he carefully tilts the mouth of the flask between your lips. Fear spiralling in your chest as your breath comes in shallow pants, you purse your lips tight as you attempt to avoid whatever the hell he was trying to slip you. It's for nothing though as he forces you mouth open enough to allow some liquid to slip through.

Water.

Unable to help yourself, you gasp in shock, and instinct overtakes sense as you greedily sip down the few thankful gulps that you can. It soothes in an instant. The warm, slightly stale water may as well be liquid gold as it coats your throat, banishing away the drought which had lay before it.

Eyes watering as you choke a little on the liquid, the hand on your chin elevates your mouth enough to ensure that everything goes where it should before the flask is pulled away with a clinical precision.

"There." The ghoul grunts, his brow narrowed into a mild scowl as he observes you with a passive look. "Want to try that again, croaky."

"Didn't-didn't know it was yours. The water." You explain, meeting his eyes with your own. "I only needed a little bit. Haven't had any in-"

You cut yourself off, anxiety making you want to ramble but knowing that such a thing was stupid as hell when outside the safety of a group. Or even when around someone you didn’t have full trust in.

He takes your words for what they are as he stands to his full height once more.

"You're a pretty little thing to be out here all alone. This part of the desert isn't meant for pretty little things.” He grunts, hands on his hips. “There’s people out here that’ll do things to you that’d make your skin crawl right off if you knew.”

And he was right.

The sun beat down harshly during the day, making any menial task seem twice as difficult as scavenging became a race against overheating as much as it did the dangers which lurked around every corner. The nights were not much better as roving gangs sought to take everything they could from anything they found, living or dead.

The lucky ones would be killed and the unlucky would face the same fate.

Eventually.

Speaking of luck, the fact that your captor hadn't immediately caved your skull with a rock or used that gun to decorate the dust with your blood was something to be exploited.

"I'm sorry.” You offer up, palms flat in a show of non-aggression. “Let me up and we can talk about a trade for some of that water."

In a lawless land, bartering was king, and you prided yourself on your ability to talk yourself into getting what you needed. Raiders. Ghouls. Lunatics. Everyone wanted something, and your mental inventory of your stash flashed through your mind as your eyes trailed across your captor, seeking out some possible options which he may be interested in.

Covered mostly by dark leather, a bullet holster sits across his chest, looping over his shoulder and visibly containing several bullets which were no doubt comfortable in that gun of his. His leather coat is worn and frayed, the edges looking rough as hell and caked in dust and grime. What visible skin lay open to the slowly darkening sun was as red and mottled as the rest, the flesh of a ghoul impossible to hide or shy away from.

The eyes though.

His eyes appeared to be a hazel colour, the whites of his irises seeming even more stark due to the red skin surrounding them, but what caught your attention was how expressive they were. Sunken in their sockets, the darkness which encased them did little to hide their revelations. Even now, as he stared you down with an intensity equal to your own, you could see the appraisal of curiosity and interest which lurked behind the vague, mean-spirited amusement he fixed you with.

Taking a seat on the water canister, his gun remaining in hand as it casually hung from his fingers, he allowed you to pull the rope from your legs and right yourself until you were standing once more. His other hand remained on the opposite end of the rope, ready to lash out like a viper at a moment’s provocation.

"Water's rare round these parts.” The ghoul grumbled. “I don't want to be wasting it on needless shit. So why don't we see if we can come to some arrangement?"

The golden words.

Smirking at the potential of a deal, the fear which tickles at your chest disappears in a brief moment as you rock onto your heels and place your hands on your hips.

"I don't have anything with me today. I'll need to go and gath-"

"You've got them pretty lips." He countered, cutting off your words and widening his knees as he patted his thigh with the butt of his gun. "I'm sure you can think of something to do with them."

Shocked by the utter brazenness, your mouth drops open and you splutter out something incomprehensible as a low chuckle slips free of his twisted lips.

"Don't look so shocked. Oldest barternin' tool in the business. Ten minutes of work and you might live to see another day. Five minutes if you're a pro.” He grunts again. “Fuck, it's been so long, it might even be two. Take the chance, darling?"

"I'm not a whore." A harsh denial as heat spread across your cheeks.

You had seen them before, both the unwilling and the willing, as they walked alongside raiders and heroes alike in an effort to use their skills to ensure survival. Everyone did what they had to do and it wasn’t like you hadn’t used charm before to get what you wanted.

But still.

This was different.

In a way-

"Didn't say you were." The ghoul shrugs, interrupting your mental debate. "But a deal’s a deal. Ain't got no infection that I know of and it's the best offer you'll get out here. Closest raiders to here are the McSharkies and they’ll have you fucking their dogs for a single droplet.”

Shuddering at the thought, your lips move of their own accord.

"Okay."

Surprising yourself even as you say the word, a trickle of shame weaves itself down your spine.

You had done a hell of a lot worse for a hell of a lot less in this shithole of a world.

What was a quick blowjob in the scheme of things.

Visibly pleased at your agreement, he palms his cock through his slacks for a moment before jumping to his feet in a smooth motion which catches you off-guard.

"Turn and get those hands out behind your back."

"Why?"

"Got to tie your hands, little lady. You might be sweet, but a pretty snake is still rattlin’ full of venom. You understand me?"

Unable to argue as a sense that you might as well play his game since you had no other choice plucks at your thoughts, you nod your consent and slowly shuffle around.

Turning in place, he loops the ends of the rope around your wrists in quick movements, quietly ensuring his own safety as he pins your hands behind your back and spins you around to face him once more.

"Kneel." He commands, clicking his fingers and pointing to the ground as he commands you like a dog.

You drop to your knees before him and the harsh desert feels uncomfortable against your skin through the fabric of your jumpsuit. Even in the rapidly cooling air of the approaching evening, not a soul to be made out as far as the eye could see, heat danced along your skin as a dirty shame made your shiver and roll your shoulders.

You had seen his kind before, knew what to expect, but even prior knowledge couldn't prepare you for just how thick he was as he snatched his cock free of his slacks - the pinstripe design fluttering in the breeze as he unlatched the waistband. His cock jutted from his slacks with pride, its girth making you bite at your lower lip as you wonder how the hell you're going to fit that in your mouth.

As livid in colour as the rest of him, his cockhead was slightly darker as it flared from the end of his length, and there was a prominent vein which ran along the underside of the shaft.

Despite yourself, your mouth watered at the prospect of tasting it.

Unable to wrap either of your hands around his cock, you dip your head forward to catch the tip of his cockhead within your lips. Immediately you feel the heat of him, his textured skin feeling odd against your tongue as a slightly acrid taste floods your mouth. He's heavy and thick, even just the tip of his cock making your mouth feel full and you carefully breathe around him as your tongue presses against his shaft.

“It’s been a long time, sweetie. That or you're a born cocksucker.”

A heavy hand pressing on the back of your head draws a sharp gasp from your lips as he pushes you down further on his cock. Forced into accepting more of him, you hollow your cheeks and allow him to guide himself roughly within your mouth, every part of his mottled skin adding a new sensation to your lips as they roll across his length.

Sucking him gently, something traitorous and arousing sparks in your cunt as he unleashes a low grunt at the stimulation.

At the vicious arousal in his tone, you feel a fresh flood of lust slither across your skin even as you groan out an unspoken denial of his words around his cock. However, you attempt to free yourself of him in a moment of surprise as his fingers drop low enough to cup around your temple, essentially keeping you in place as his other hand tightens almost painfully around your hair.

He's building pace, allowing enough time for you to catch your breath as you focus on the task - your own hands remaining pinned behind your back as you bob your head messily.

"Yeah. Fuck your mouth on my cock, little miss." He grunts, hand like a vice around your head as he casually thrusts himself into your mouth with only a little mercy. "Show me how much you want it."

Keeping your eyes staunchly closed, shame and humiliation creep along your heated skin but with it comes an undeniable arousal which makes your cunt feel wet against your panties.

"None of that. Eyes open now."

Displeased with the lack of eye-contact, his cock pulls free of your mouth long enough for his hand to strike across your cheek. Not in an overly aggressive or painful manner, but enough to force your eyes open as you glare up at him.

"Ooh, feisty little mare. I like it. Makes me hard as a nail."

To emphasise his words, he drives his cock a little further back, the tip now just threatening your throat as you choke in surprise - eyes watering in an instant as you fight the urge to bite down. You watch him as he chuckles, enjoying the way your throat is spasming around you cock as he holds you there.

He lets up after a moment, resuming his more forceful pace. Wanting him to finish, you pull back enough to swirl your tongue along the sensitive ridge where his shaft meets his cockhead before swallowing him down in one quick motion.

It's enough, and the sharp, pleasurable pants which slip free of his mouth seem to increase slightly in pitch as he pulls his cock free of your mouth. Without warning, his release splashes across your mouth and chin; a few errant drops falling between your lips as he jerks his cock off to wring every last droplet out.

Pissed by the mess despite the slight ache which sits in your cunt as it feels woefully neglected, you growl at him - a scowl marring your forehead as your jaw clicks, the bone there pleased to no longer be under such stress. Left in the dirt with your hands bound and you face coated in mess, a fresh sense of heated embarrassment floods your cheeks and you cough in discomfort as he tucks his softening cock away.

You inhale sharply as you find your body being pulled away from his as his strong hands remove you from your kneeling position and place you back on your feet.

"Made a mess of you there, darling." The ghoul smirks, teeth flashing against his reddened skin. "Make sure and clean yourself up before anyone else sees you. They might get the wrong idea."

Rubbing your hands together as he releases then from their bindings, you immediately wipe off his release with the back of your hand and ignore the taste of him as the droplets in your mouth coat your tongue.

"My water?" You ask, dusting your knees off as you mentally make a note to treat your clit to some attention the minute you were back in the safety of your hideout. Attention that no doubt would feature hazel eyes and some very irritated movements as you took your frustrations out on your traitorous sex.

"Sure. Deal's a deal, little miss. Name's Cooper, by the way." He, Cooper, grunted as he slowly filled one of the spare empty bottles which littered the ground around the canister. "You can call me Cooper."

Huh.

Watching silently as he continued to live up to his end of the bargain, you tasted his name against your lips as eagerly as his cum you consider what he might give to hear you cry it out with some well-earned enthusiasm.

"Cooper."

His eyes meet you own and you can tell, in that moment, that he's imagining the very same.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

Content warnings for this chapter: ptsd, implied child abuse references, implied violence, implied gambling addiction

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

AO3 link

Chapter 6 - Nina

It was nearing ten bells when Nina and Inej reached the University District. They both wore Ravkan clothes that Kaz had stolen from someplace or other, costumes probably though Nina hadn’t checked for a ribbon, and Nina fidgeted unhappily with her sleeve. It felt wrong; not exactly like wearing her uncomfortable, Kerch-made kefta but in some ways similar, more like she was trying to sell herself a lie than she was anyone else. She sunk her hand into her pocket and rubbed one of the purple kruge notes buried inside it between her fingers, like she had to remind herself it was still there. 

There was little to no problem getting things sorted at the office; Nina switched between speaking in Kerch to the woman behind the desk and saying a few random phrases to Inej in Ravkan whenever there were silences or it looked like there might be a issue, and at one point she kept telling Inej how wonderful she was in an increasingly anxious tone because the woman had said something about not knowing if their rooms were ready. But eventually everything was sorted and they left with an address, two sets of keys, and a map of the campus in hand, only to cross towards the Boeksplein and walk straight into Jesper Fahey. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Well it’s good to see you too, gorgeous,” he winked, “And as it so happens I am in fact a student - not a fake transfer student,”

“Keep your voice down,” hissed Inej, glancing back at the office building they’d just left.

Nina didn’t think they’d have an issue with that - the woman behind the desk had been about as bored and fed up as a person could be, Nina didn’t think she liked the night shift much - but she was more distracted processing the rest of Jesper’s sentence.

“You’re a student?”

“As I said the last time I was asked,” he smiled at Inej, “I’m supposed to be, but here we are. I thought you two weren’t getting here for a few days yet?”

He looked almost nervous, fingers moving to play with one of the mirrored buttons on his waistcoat. Nina watched him for a moment, the movement leading her to take in his ensemble and realise that he must be on his way to the Barrel. Maybe it wasn’t nerves that were sending this energy fizzling through him, then.

“Change of plans,” replied Inej.

Jesper nodded.

“Well I’m sure we can compare timetables and squeal over new stationery tomorrow,” he said, “but I’ve got to keep moving,”

Inej pursed her lips, but she kept her very obvious thoughts to herself as they bid each other goodnight and Jesper walked away.

It took a few minutes for Nina and Inej to orient themselves on the poorly designed little map they’d been given, it looked more like a tourist trail than something designed for consistent use and darkness had fallen long ago by now, but then they made their way to the dorm building they’d been assigned to. The flats were structured to house up to five people, the bedrooms arranged down a corridor that looked like it should belong to a hotel. The sixth door was a kitchen, and not a big one, and at the other end was a seventh for the bathroom. Nina didn’t know how five people coped in that kitchen without treading on each other’s toes or hitting each other over the head with a frying pan, but luckily Kaz had wrangled in advance for them to be alone in an otherwise empty cluster. Nina wondered how they ended up with empty flats - weren’t these places always oversubscribed? - but when they arrived and traipsed their way up five flights of stairs she thought maybe everyone who was supposed to be in this flat had been defeated by the staircase before they ever even moved in. She was out of breath by the time they reached the top floor.

The building was quiet - Nina had expected the sounds of student nightlife, but perhaps by this time anyone up for anything had gone out to find themselves in the Barrel instead of sitting around in tiny kitchens lit only by whatever candles they had between them. Inej unlocked the door to the cluster and then passed Nina the key to her individual room. They both stood in the doorway of the first bedroom together and Nina raised her eyebrows.

“I suppose it’s… quaint?”

“It’s bigger than my room at the Slat,” said Inej, dropping her bag onto the floor.

But she looked on edge, and Nina watched her hands drift towards her knives. She wondered if it was a way of praying, she knew Inej named her knives after her Saints, or if it was just a comfort to feel them in her hand. Maybe both. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah. It’s just…” Inej took a breath and squared her shoulders, then smiled at Nina, “Yeah, I’m good,”

Nina didn’t feel convinced.

“Okay, well I’ll be next door. Come and get me if you need me,”

Inej nodded.

“Same to you,” she said softly, “Night Nina,”

Nina grabbed her hand briefly, squeezing her fingers.

“Night Inej,”

It didn’t take Nina too long to drift asleep, though the mattress was not particularly comfortable, and the next thing she knew she was jolting awake to a sharp knock splitting the air like a knife blade. Nina jumped upwards, mumbling something so incoherent she wasn’t even sure what she’d said, as the knocking turned to frantic little taps against the door. She almost fell out of the bed as she tried to fumble to her feet in the dark, her heart skittering into a panic with a thousand questions of who on earth might be banging on her door in the middle of the night. The thin dressing gown she’d dropped onto the floor earlier was hurriedly yanked over her shoulders and pulled to cover her nightdress. It only occurred to her as she reached the door that she’d grown unused to the absence of the peepholes at the White Rose, and as much as she’d been enjoying the lack of them in the walls here thus far it might have been helpful to have one here and now, to see whomever might be about to attack her in the corridor. Though, of course, that would be using them for quite the opposite of their intent at the pleasure houses. And anyway, Nina doubted that assassins knocked first. It didn’t stop her from flexing her fingers and preparing to drop into a fighting stance as she reached for the door handle, ready to stop a heart or two if necessary. She was possibly more surprised by the sight that greeted her than she would have been an attacker.

“Inej?”

She looked unbelievably small. Her night clothes were loose enough that Nina thought they must be second hand, from some cupboard or other at the Slat perhaps, and although the button down’s droopiness aided Inej’s preference for long sleeves it also left a neckline wide enough for Inej to evidently be discomforted. She fidgeted with the collar, dark eyes staring up at Nina through her thick lashes. Her voice was barely a whisper when she ventured:

“Can I sleep on your floor?”

“Wh-? I-?” Nina didn’t actually know what the ends of those sentences were, “Come inside,”

What time was it? Nina fumbled across the desk for a match and held it by her watch without bothering to properly light a candle. Two bells. Had Inej slept at all yet? How long had she been sitting alone in her room, wide awake, weighing up whether or not she should come through?

“Do you want me to find a bonelight?”

Nina didn’t want to leave candles lit overnight, but she didn’t know how Inej felt about the dark. As if it had been waiting to be perfectly in time with this thought, the flame of her match began to close in towards her fingers. She quickly shook it out. Inej just shrugged.

“Okay, well there’s one on the desk if you want it. You can sleep on the bed, I can-”

“I don’t want to,” she whispered, her voice somehow barely in existence and yet still fraying at the edges.

Nina nodded.

“Well, I have two pillows so maybe we could lay them out-”

Inej shook her head. Nina bit her lip.

“At least let me give you a blanket,”

For a while both of them lay in silence, knowing the other was still awake, and after a long time Inej said:

“Talk to me,”

“About what?”

“Anything. About the job, last night,”

Nina half-shrugged, still lying down.

“I don’t know that there’s anything to say other than what I already told you,” she admitted, “It was just… strange,”

It had been past midnight when Nina arrived at the Geldstraat, which was almost definitely the first warning sign that this was going to be an unusual job. Walking down here felt like a different city than the Barrel did - here night was a real thing and people slept through it, here the houses dominated your sight so you could barely see anything beyond, here the air even seemed to taste different on your tongue. Nina fidgeted with the sleeve of her fake kefta. The street was completely silent but for her, illuminated by streetlamps few and far apart, their flames flickering and casting shadows that ought not to have frightened a soldier of Ravka’s Second Army across the stones. She shivered, reminding herself that Inej was somewhere with her, hidden in the shadows above her head, and she was not alone. 

She’d knocked on the door half expecting there to either be no answer or to find herself being shouted away for bothering them at this ridiculous hour, but a maid had opened it almost instantly. She looked her up and down, clearly clocking the Heartrender kefta, then hurried her inside.

“He’s waiting for you in the drawing room,” she said then, just as NIna opened her mouth to ask questions, added: “Stay quiet. Follow me,”

Nina followed her down the hall, studying the extensive panelling in the walls. Mahogany, she reckoned, with carvings of the three flying fishes of Kerch and several depictions that she thought must be stories of Ghezen. The maid knocked on the closed door of the drawing room, and after a moment had passed and someone called for them to enter she held it open for Nina. The second Nina was through the doorway it was closed loudly behind her, and she found herself alone with a tall man she guessed to be in his forties, his tie set with a ruby, his hairline making a distinct retreat from his forehead. He stood up slowly.

“Miss Zenik, I presume?”

She nodded.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr Van Eck,”

He’d spoken to her a short while, telling her about how his son had lost his sight in an accident - he didn’t say what - when he was eight.

“I…” Nina hesitated, “I can try to do anything I can to help you and your son, Mr Van Eck, but I’m not a Healer. I don’t even know if it would be possible to restore his sight, but I definitely won’t be able to,”

“You misunderstand me, Miss Zenik,” he said coolly, “I don’t want you to Heal Wylan. I want you to Tailor him,”

Nina frowned. 

“His scars are obvious,” Van Eck told her, “He doesn’t like to have them on show, but Tailoring only lasts so long. Up until recently we had a Healer in the Grisha workshop who could tend to them whenever necessary, but unfortunately she is… no longer under my employ. If you do a good enough job, and you are interested, then perhaps this can be an ongoing agreement between us, Miss Zenik,”

Once he’d brought the boy - Wylan - into the room he left them alone, nodding at Nina. If Nina hadn’t already known from Kaz that Wylan Van Eck was a university student, she wasn’t sure she’d have been convinced he was more than fourteen - if that. But he was only a little younger than her, a similar age to Inej. 

“Hi,” she ventured, after a moment, “I’m gonna sit down in front of you - oh sorry I should’ve said, my name’s-”

“We’re not supposed to talk,” he whispered.

Nina leaned back slightly, taken by surprise.

“Okay…” she frowned, “Can you just tell me if it’s okay for me to touch your face, now?”

Wylan nodded.

“Alright. Stop me if you need to,”

Nina leaned back over him and gently pressed two fingers beneath his left eye. Her hands must have been cold; Wylan shivered and for a moment she thought he might pull away, but then he settled. She couldn’t see any sign of his scars though, except what she assumed must be the trail end of one of them - a small cut above his right cheek bone. Her lessons at the Little Palace had taught her to find the seams of the previous Tailor’s work, but Nina couldn’t feel anything at all. She had never been a particularly skilled Tailor. After a long moment, she ventured:

“Can I ask you what kind of accident it was? So I know what kind of scars I’m looking for?”

Wylan swallowed hard. He said nothing. 

Nina did find something, after a few more minutes, and she traced the scar above Wylan’s cheek until she discovered a long, thin slash through his right eye. Once she knew what she was looking for it was easier to find the two lines that crossed the left, and the slightly jagged one down the side of his nose. It took a while to properly smooth his skin to cover all of it - if she’d only recovered the edge that had become visible she would have left his skin blotchy and probably only drawn more attention to the marks - and the process seemed to thicken the slight haze over Wylan’s eyes, further blurring the edges of his irises. When all that was left for her to cover was the trace edge above his cheekbone that she’d started uncovering from in the first place, the door to the drawing room suddenly banged open and both Nina and Wylan jumped.

“Time’s up,” said Van Eck, watching them from the doorway.

“I’m not finished-”

“You’ve done splendidly,” said the merch, beckoning her to her feet.

Nina didn’t think Wylan looked very different from when she’d started, but something was tugging at her edges and telling her she definitely shouldn’t argue. So she stood up and walked slowly towards the door.

“Thank you for your time, Miss Zenik,” Van Eck shook her hand, pressing a kruge note into her palm as he did so, “My staff will show you out. And please, we would appreciate your discretion,”

“Of course, sir,” said Nina, before immediately reporting the entire bizarre experience to Inej and Kaz. 

Kaz had been concerned it was going to ruin the job, but Nina wasn’t convinced.

“He doesn’t know my name,”

“He won’t recognise your voice?”

“I don’t… I don’t think so; we barely spoke. But Kaz, it can’t be a coincidence,”

Inej shuffled a little on the floor, and Nina rolled onto her side so she could see her.

“Tell me something you haven’t told me before then,” she whispered, eyes finding Nina’s in the dark.

“Like what?”

“Tell me about Matthias,”

So she did. Quietly, with several details omitted, curling the corner of her blanket tighter and tighter around her fist. Inej eventually fell asleep curled up on the ugly carpet, knees tight to her chest, blanket draped flatly over her like a shroud. Nina lay anxiously on the bed, watching her. 

[torreshalstead]

I’ll show you mine - part 9

Summary - He didn’t fit. His clothes were too nice, his hair too neat, he was raising all the red flags for Hailey. She didn’t think he was part of the crew she was trying to take down, but why else would he be in such an establishment on a random Tuesday night? But then he muttered the words into her ear that she had least expected - ‘I’m police’.

Chapters - 9/?

Notes - I had a request to include both Jay’s POV and a bit of jealousy and this chapter was a perfect excuse to include both so I hope you enjoy! AO3 Link

Hailey had been up in Intelligence for almost eight weeks now, Voight had changed up the partners on them twice already and they were all expecting another shuffle any coming day now. Jay didn’t mind it, the next shuffle should mean he would get to partner with Hailey, and he couldn’t lie, the prospect of getting to ride alongside her everyday as well as going home together at the end of the shift was tantalising.

He was currently riding with Burgess, who was a good cop and he had no issues being teamed up with her. She thought Hailey was incredible so they at least had that bit of common ground but whereas working with both Atwater and Ruzek had given Jay a chance to lean into the teaching or mentor side of the role, he felt everything he could have taught Kim, he already had. They had been in the same unit for a while and she had learnt a lot from him, he felt like Hailey was probably a more productive mentor - even if he did want to partner with her for his own selfish gains.

Still, Kim was always prepared on shift, alert on calls and he had watched her build good connections with victims that had helped them on their cases. He really couldn’t complain about being paired up with her, even if he had had to call her out on giving Adam just one too many smiles in the bullpen. If he could keep his own relationship under wraps then she could too - it didn’t really bother him but he knew that the end game with Hailey was them coming clean to Voight and that would go down a hell of a lot better if Kim and Ruzek hadn’t pissed him off first.

They had done a pretty good job of keeping their relationship behind closed doors and out of the district. Hailey was certain that Platt knew and Jay wouldn’t be surprised, that woman knew everything about anyone who entered her district. But everyone else seemed none the wiser. He had managed to keep himself in check too, had only pulled her into the break room for a mid shift make out a couple of times and all were well needed of course.

‘Jay we can’t,’ Hailey murmured in between kisses but she made no move to push herself away from him, if anything Jay thought he felt her pull him just a little bit closer with her hands sliding under his tee against his back, her nails digging into the skin she found there.

‘I’m not going rip your clothes off in the middle of the locker room Hails,’ he said, peppering her neck with kisses in his continued assault of her skin, being careful not to leave any marks where anyone could see. ‘Just needed this.’

She hummed in response, tugging his head back up to fuze their mouths together again. He hadn’t been the only one that had needed the release and the comfort. It had been a grim case, one that made you want to hold the ones you loved just a little closer and show them just how much they mean to you. So when the opportunity came for him to pull Hailey into the break room and forget about the outside world for a second. He had jumped on it.

They had done just as well in following their other rule too, continuing to spend time with the Intelligence team as a group and not sneaking off together - even when that was what was on the forefront of Jay’s mind. They went to Molly’s together, kept their hands off each other, at least the majority of the time, and would leave in separate vehicles having prearranged whose place they were spending the night at.

All restraint was lost the second they barrelled in through the door, their inhibitions usually lowered in the elevator whenever the first person put their hands on the other. They made up for the lost time in spades however, tumbling over the precipice together multiple times in the night and having to be powered by copious amounts of caffeine the following day - not that either of them was complaining.

Jay had not been a monk before by any stretch of the imagination but being with Hailey was not like anything he had experienced before. His mind was filled with her 24/7, when he wasn’t touching her his body ached for her, he was reminded of her in the smallest of moments throughout the day. To put it bluntly, he was in love with Hailey Upton.

He had thought he had been in love before, but since meeting Hailey he had come to the conclusion that what he had felt was purely infatuation because he had never felt for anyone what he felt for the blonde woman who fell into bed with him at the end of every night.

He hadn’t told her yet, it had almost slipped out a couple of times when their skin glistened with sweat and their breathing was ragged but he refused for the first time he told her he loved her would be post sex. She’d think it was just an orgasm fuelled admission rather than a truth that he held in his heart. No. Jay was waiting for the right time. It would be soon, but it needed to be right. She deserved for it to be right.

Some days he thought maybe she was going to say it, when her eyes sparkled just a little bit brighter or her smile was a fraction wider, but she never did. But Jay had come to the conclusion that he didn’t mind if she didn’t say it first, or if she didn’t say it back when he finally spoke those three words out loud to her when she could hear them.

Because he had said them out loud to her. He had whispered them to her on nights when she had fallen asleep ontop of him, her blonde her splayed out across his chest, her breath fanning against his bare skin. But only when he knew she was asleep, it felt safer like that, almost like practice for the real thing.

But he would tell her soon, he promised himself, and her. Soon.

——————————————————————————

‘You sure you’re fine with this,’ Jay whispered to her as he threaded a wire up the front of her shirt and fastened in place against her skin.

‘I’m fine Jay,’ she said softly, both were keenly aware they could be interrupted at any moment. ‘They needed a woman and Kim’s known to the group. I’m the only option.’

‘We can find someone else if you’re not comfortable Hails,’ Jay said firmly, letting his fingers linger on her skin for longer than was appropriate. Hailey raised her hand and squeezed his under the sheer fabric of her top.

‘I’m comfortable with it Jay, I promise,’ she said and looking down into her eyes, he did believe her. But it still didn’t mean he as any more comfortable with it.

The game plan was simple enough, their target was a notorious flirt so Intelligence was sending in a female operative to seduce him and either get the name of who is supplying him or get him out the back of the club where the rest of the team would be waiting with a van to bring him in.

Kim was already known to the group having arrested one of them when she was on patrol and unfortunately no one but Hailey ticked the very important box of being female. So here Jay was, wiring up his girlfriend to go into a sleazy club and get chatted up by an even sleazier guy, and he was going to have to watch it.

He wasn’t a jealous guy by nature, and was telling himself he was simply worried about Hailey getting hurt as he would be on any undercover mission, but having to send her into the lion's den wearing little more than nothing, the little green monster in him was threatening to make an appearance no matter how hard he was trying to ignore it.

‘I promise,’ Hailey repeated when he hadn’t said anything for a moment. ‘It’s you I’m going home with.’

‘Don’t you forget it,’ he said with a forced smirk. It was a poor joke but it seemed to lighten her mood a fraction before they were interrupted by the sound of footsteps down the backstairs. They stepped apart to a more appropriate distance for colleagues, not before Hailey had reached up and given him a peck on the cheek. She’d be fine, he knew it really, but he still wasn’t about to enjoy watching it, especially when he wouldn’t be alone in the van and would continue to have to hide his emotions about it.

—————————————————————————

Sleazeball was a far too pleasent a term to describe the guy who was currently running his hand up and down his girlfriends thigh. Jay’s fist were clenched under the table in the surveillance van. He was doing his best to control himself in the company of Atwater and Ruzek, he refused to reveal their relationship because he couldn’t get his jealously under control.

‘This guy is lucky Upton doesn’t up and deck him one,’ Ruzek muttered, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had filled the van for the past few minutes. All focus had been on the small screens showing pixelated images of the inside of the club, from the cameras they had managed to install on an earlier recon.

‘She knows what she’s doing,’ Jay said through gritted teeth. In reality this guy was lucky Jay didn’t deck him one as he watched the man in question lean forward under the pretence of whispering something into Hailey’s ear but Jay could see he was really just getting an eyeful down Hailey’s shirt.

‘I know she is, I’m just saying if someone was running their hands up and down Kim’s leg-’ he Adam began but Jay shot him a look and he shut his mouth.

‘Sorry Detective,’ he muttered, turning his full attention back to the screen. Jay would apologise to him later, but right now his skin was crawling and the last thing he needed to hear about was how Adam and his girlfriend wouldn’t be in this situation.

Jay had wanted nothing more than to stop Hailey taking this case, from putting herself into the hands of a criminal, literally. But he also knew Hailey. She was a fantastic cop, excelled at working undercover and he knew if he ever tried to tell her what to do, their relationship would be over just as quick. She had spent far too long with men telling her what to do and Jay wasn’t going to put his name on that list.

That did not stop him wanting burst into the club and steal her away, help her in the shower washing away trace of this man and show her just how much she meant to him - multiple times.

But he needed to keep his head.

Looking at the feed he could tell Hailey was nearing the end of her patience with the drunken leech who was now trying to attach himself to her neck. Her lips were a tight line and he could see the fingers on her left hand clenching slightly, a tell tell sign that she was uncomfortable. She wasn’t using her signal though so all he could do was watch and wait.

‘Want to take this somewhere more private?’ They heard Hailey ask in a sickly sweet voice that was nothing like the voice she used when trying to seduce someone into bed. Jay knew that voice. Jay dropped to his knees for that voice. Jay would do ungodly things for that voice.

‘My place is close,’ the slimy man said and Hailey forced a giggle in response. Standing she held out her hand to him which he happily took and led him towards the exit. Jay almost growled out loud when he saw him grab a handful of Hailey’s ass as they walked out. He would definitely be helping her shower later.

‘Time to go,’ he said to his van companions and the three of them piled out to assist in bundling the guy into the back of their van, complete with a couple of new wrist accessories.

——————————————————————————

‘Are you okay?’ Hailey asked gently once their shift was over and they had retreated to the safety of her apartment. Jay had been quiet ever since they had taken down Barrett and got him back to the district. He had been more distant than usual and had barely said two words to her in the past couple of hours. She knew something was up but until he told her what it was, she was powerless to help.

‘I’m fine,’ he said but didn’t look up at her from his seated position on her couch.

Hailey took a beat but then decided a more direct course of action was needed so made her way over to him. Climbing onto his lap and settling one leg either side of his hips, she wrapped her arms around his neck and asked again.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ She asked, leaning forward to press a kiss gently to each cheek before softly joining their lips together.

‘I want to be,’ Jay murmured as they separated. Hailey took no comfort in his words but his arms came around her back and held her closely to him and she took that as a positive sign.

‘But you can’t?’ She asked carefully not wanting to force him into admitting something he wasn’t comfortable with.

Jay sighed but let his head fall into the crook of her neck. Clearly taking some courage in both their closeness but also the lack of eye contact, she let her fingers weave through his hair and held him close.

‘I’m embarrassed,’ he admitted after a couple of moments, he didn’t remove his head from its current position and she made no attempt to make him.

‘Embarrassed?’ She questioned gently.

‘I was jealous, in the club. And I’m embarrassed because I hate jealousy and yet, when he had his hands on you…’ Jay tailed off and Hailey understood.

Tugging gently on his hair to get him to look at her which he reluctantly did, she sealed her lips to his again but more firmly this time before leaning back.

‘You’re the only person whose hands I want on me Jay,’ she said clearly. ‘And I know you know that.’

‘I know,’ Jay sighed. ‘It’s stupid, I know it is. But I guess, it was in front of the team and Adam made a comment about if it was his girlfriend-’

Hailey silenced him with a kiss, deciding that showing him how she felt was a better option than talking at this point.

‘But I’m your girlfriend and none of them know,’ she said in between kisses. Feeling him nod in response. ‘But I know. Isn’t that enough?’ She asked, leaning back again to look into his green eyes seeing the internal turmoil reflected back at her.

‘More than enough,’ Jay said, the tension that had previously been present in his voice seemingly having melted away at her words.

‘Then show me,’ Hailey whispered just a breath away from his lips. ‘Make me forget his hands on me.’

Jay didn’t need asking twice, he stood up quickly and Hailey giggled as a response but wrapped her legs around his hips as he carried her back into her bathroom, his eyes burning into hers but never leaving them. She knew the last thing on her mind by the end of the night would be Barrett’s hands on her, Jay would make sure of that.

[the-lighthouse-lit]

I was tagged by @cruulsummer

The rules are simple - find a sentence, or excerpt, that includes the words you’re given and paste it in, and include a link to the finished story if you want. But honestly, these are guidelines at best - do what you want.

I’m tagging: @lunarmoment @scorpioaqua @laestrellapanda @raevenlywrites @blushroomx @fiora-miriel

My words to find: Red - Sleep - Writhe - Shallow - Bet - Safe - Look - Anger - Help

Your words are: Intention - Suit - Dark - Smirk - Heavy - Spread - Music - Stop - Alcohol

Red and Help (double whammy because it’s a long bit!) from The Invention of Gravity (a Gravity Falls 1800’s AU that will probably never be finished…):

“What’s your name?” Mabel asked.

“Wendy Corduroy!” Grunkle Stan shouted from the ground. The three looked down. “Get in here!”

Wendy descended from the tree in a series of exact movements that told the twins she’d been slowing down for them before. The twins observed as she ran into the house after their uncle, long red hair mostly out of its cap flowing freely behind her.

The two looked at each other, finding themselves higher up the tree than they’d ever intended, and now alone.

“…How do we get down?” asked Dipper.

Inside, Wendy Corduroy was telling Stan, “I can chop wood, make pegs, I can empty up a mattress and fill it up and sew it back up again with help, I can almost cook on the spit without burning it, and I can clean and shoot a rifle.”

“You’re already hired, Miss Corduroy, I spoke with your papa,” Stan told her.

Sleep from There’s Probably a Moral at the End Somewhere (my Teen titans play-format Fairytale AU, posted here)

STARFIRE: She is floating two feet above the ground. You who know her best, is this how she sleeps?

ROBIN: I don’t even know if she sleeps. I don’t know anything about her. And everything I thought I knew about her was wrong.

I’ve got nothing for Writhe, or Squirm, or Thrash, so I offer you Struggle lol, from a roooough draft of my original story Surot (found absolutely nowhere):

“But if the bathrooms are closed, you can get the key from the hut over there, just ask for Laura…”

I stopped myself. Stella looked kind of jittery and nervous. When I’d motioned to the bathroom she’d dove forth, and now that I’d presented her with a challenge, her eyebrows arched, like she was slightly shocked she’d have to struggle in this way—or like she was calculating she’d spent too long talking to the class freak and was panicking about it.

“Hold on,” I say, and I hold my camera to my chest as I go to the hut myself, all the while wondering why I insist on doing things for pretty girls. It made me feel like a boy. Or like a rough maid from a period drama doing stuff for her delicate ladies.

Shallow from The Club of Unauthorized Heroes Year 3 (yet unpublished):

Dick’s breaths were shallow. His mind was stuck on the here and now. He felt like he should be reviewing the mission—searching for where they went so wrong. But really all he could think about was how much Gar hated hospitals. How annoyed he’d be when he woke up.

Bet from Feral (an entry for BBRae Week 2022, found here):

“That was cool. Quick and clean. Bit sloppy at the end, though. Anyone could see what you were doing.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The girl’s voice was a grave whisper. Nearly a hiss.

“You chose a good area, too,” Gar went on regardless. “Lots of distracted loaded pockets around. I bet there’s even some left for me.”

Safe from Over Again (my Teen Titans-Miraculous Ladybug AU, first two chapters found here):

He took in her sarcasm and decided to one-up her. “Hm. You tell your crush you like them yet?”

She groaned, all her coolness gone. “I never should have told you about that.”

“But you did,” he reminded her with a big grin.

And she still didn’t know why. How had she told Beast Boy when she hadn’t even told Kori? She guessed she felt he was safe. Kori might try to set her up with Gar if she knew; it wouldn’t take her long to figure out who her crush was. But Beast Boy was detached from her world—he went to her school, but he couldn’t let her know that.

Look from The tide is full, the moon lies fair (my only She Ra fanfic, a Seamista oneshot, posted here):

He laughed, and it rumbled through his chest. “Really. A small fire. Without me needing to be there?”

“Maybe the venue missed you,” she returned, moving away to look at his face—his handsome face with the jaw and the ridiculously sharp moustache and the hyper-expressive eyes. She’d missed the chance to really look at it, before.

She tilted her head up to kiss him, and the whole world fell into place. To come back into his arms after a long time was a feeling she wouldn’t trade for anything.

And finally, Anger from The Club of Unauthorized Heroes Year 2 (which is published here, but not this bit yet!):

Gar looked back and forth between the faces in the car windows. “Jen?” He turned to Terra, whose face turned from anger to panic when he did.

“You haven’t figured it out yet, slug-face?” taunted Mikron. “Are we gonna have to spell it out for you?”

“Figure out what?” Gar returned. “That you’re Hive? We knew that for ages.”

“Do you wanna tell him?” Baran asked Terra. He was clearly having the time of his life.

[isagrimorie]

continued from this post:

@lovecanbesostrange: For the Borg stuff, pretty much what you usually talk about. I mean we can't go back and add that many visible implants/reminders. They really gave us beautiful-woman-in-tight-suit and when it fit the narrative it was "btw her head can open up and this is her actual vision". But mostly it felt like her nanobots and some enhanced senses were a nice deal. tbh I don't think PIC S2 did that good of a job to highlight what it meant for Seven to be 100% human. And in a show

Honestly? I agree with you -- it's like they had it in the first 3 episodes, and then just lightly touched on it after -- again, 10 episodes is not enough time with a story with such big ideas.

There's so much they could have done more than the visual of Seven not having her implants anymore. Seven was fully Human -- not just visually Human.

This means a lot of changes to Seven, not just intellectually. She had a visual acuity of 99.3% or something. She could see temporal changes. Her vision had a green filter.

The fact that she's not bowled over at seeing full color the whole time, like people who were color blind and seeing the full spectrum of color the first time is frankly astonishing.

Seven, being frustrated at not being as strong, being amazed she doesn't hear anything more than the ordinary person.

And she doesn't have steel running through her bones, which means she is also physically lighter.

She should find trade-offs to being fully Human. She finds that she loves it but also realizes she kind of hates it too and misses some of the things her implants gave her.

But the show is called Picard and at the end of the day, they will prioritize the time and scene-stopping moments when Picard has to hallucinate about his dead mother. (Sorry, I'm salty about the middle part so much).

lovecanbesostrange: with her as the center character again, we could maybe find some odd curiosities about her day to day behavior. Like everything you mention here. Including the standing for example. || I was actually more interested in the Romulans and the Borg separately than anything to do with the main AI storyline. Everything was way too big in PIC (which is also why I don't enjoy lots of stuff in DSC; make it smaller!).

This is where I trust in Terry Matalas, I know Terry from 12 Monkeys, and I trust he would handle Seven's story well. I also tracked what he said he wanted to do if given the chance to run with a new show -- and that he would love to go back to episodic storylines with some linking arcs.

Terry also likes writing about characters who carry a lot of guilt for what they've done in the past and complicated and messy characters who, in the end, are trying to do the best they can, which is something Seven fits to a tee.

(If you haven't seen 12 Monkeys yet, I highly recommend it! 4 seasons of great sci-fi time travel TV! And Jones is really very much influenced by Janeway!)

But my dearest wish is for the possible show to have Seven falling in love with Science again. I missed her doing science. I miss her turning up in a Jeffries tube unexpectedly doing repairs because it calms her down.

I miss her popping into an Astrometrics lab just to watch the stars.

I love warrior!Seven, but being a warrior is not just all who Seven is. She's a scientist, an engineer. She wanted to put star charts up on her wall because they pleased her aesthetically.

Seven was the unofficial Science Officer of Voyager. I hope we get that reflected, I hope in the pinning ceremony, Janeway quizzes her on all things science just like that one Admiral did to Janeway in Relativity.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

[triforceangel13]

A Service to the King Ch. 14 (A SidLink Omegaverse Story)

Chapter 14: Limbo

Link eyed his neck in the mirror. It had been a few days since he had last summoned Sidon's sage to his side. After their moment together before the fire...

Link was nervous. How did he explain to Sidon that the mark he had bitten into him was some how...lasting, in a weird way.

He eyed the circle of teeth marks marring his skin. ITt was definitely a mating mark but this one was blue, taking a similar color to Sidon's sage.

In a strange way Sidon had marked him as his mate. But wouldn't that have broken the one that he had with Yona?

No doubt he would have heard something by now about that, but he gained nothing.

Not to mention he wasn't feeling like himself. He felt tired more often, exhausted, and that he was coming down with something.

But what did that even mean?

It wasn't true sickness being seperated from the alpha. That would knock someone down quickly and he may very well have lost his life already.

It had to do something with that it was Sidon's sage and not Sidon himself? No that couldn't be it. The sage was still a part of him.

He let out a sigh, gingerly running his finger over the bite. No blood had happened, all that was left was a throbbing bruise to remind him every now and then.

He let out a sigh, looking down at the ring on his finger. He could summon him but he wasn't sure what words he could bring out.

Sidon would be upset with himself that he had marked Link as his mate despite being still married to the queen who had just laid his egg.

“Why is this so hard,” Link said with an angered sigh, gripping his hair tightly as he looked at himself in the mirror.

Not even noticing when someone knocked on his door and let themselves in.

“Link?” came Zelda's voice.

Link's eyes widened as he turned to see the priness who was carrying bags. He had removed his shirt to check the mark and now it was open for everyone to see.

Including her.

She gasped, dropping the bag as she covered her mouth, her eyes landing right on the scar that was on his shoulder.

“Link,” she said approaching slowy. “What happened? Are you alright?”

She rest her hand on his arm, looking over the mark with a small frown her face. “It...it looks like a mating mark. What did you get bitten by?”

Link knew it was too late to lie. And even if he did she would figure it out eventually. Being thousands of years old meant she knew a lot.

And he couldn't hide everything from her. So he decided to come clean.

“I had...mated with Sidon's sage,” Link said, looking away from her. “We found a way to remain in contact and...when he mated he...bit me. This was the lasting result.”

She let out a heavy sigh.

“Come. I'll make us some tea. You don't look well,” she said.

*

“You haven't experiened a drop yet which is surprising given how many days it's been since you...received the mark,” she said, taking a sip of her tea. Link sat at the table, his tea untouched as he had told her what had been going on. “I wonder if we should see Purah about all of this. Get an outside perspective to see if she can give you something to ail your pain or aches.”

Link knew that she was trying to help but the sound of diappointment in her vocie was very clear as she spoke to him.

“Zelda....I'm sorry,” he said to her finally, not commenting on what they should be doing for him. He never liked making his friend upset. She was the only one he ever could truly rely on.

And in a way he had hurt her.

The princess let out a soft sigh.

“Link, I'm just sad that you keep doing this to yourself. He's married. He's king. He has a child on the way. And yet you still play with one another as if none of that matters,” she explained.

“At the time it didn't. It was spending time together without others knowing,” Link tried to argue but he knew he wasn't going to win. “But now it does matter. He bit me...I wanted him to but now I'm scared of the consequences.”

“Does he know?” she asked.

“No, I haven't summoned him in days. I don't even know if he realizes that he had done it,” Link said to her.

“Summon him. Now,” she said.

Link hesitated and then he held his hand out to the empty seat at the table, summoning Sidon's sage to sit with them at the table.

The sage quickly appeared and Link felt something inside of him shift. A heavy flush formed on his face and a quiet whine rumbled out of his throat.

“King Sidon,” Zelda said, waving a hand in front of his the sage's face at it stared blankly ahead. “King Sidon answer me.”

Link had enough clarity to shake his head a bit but he was going down fast.

“He isn't there,” Link said. “He hadn't tapped in. This is just his sage that I can order about at my will to do my bidding.”

“Did you order it to mate with you and bite you, Link? Honestly now..” she sighed with a huff and a frown.

“No,” Link said. “Sidon had control at that time. When he has control I have no control over what the sage says or does.”

“Interesting...I wonder if this works with the others as well...” she mumbled and then waved her hand. “Regardless, I need him here to speak with him.”

“He comes when he can...” Link said, feeling his clarity starting to slip.

“Link?” Zelda said, finally looking to her friend and realized she was losing him.

A chirp ame out of Link and he got up from his seat, going to the sage and crawling into his lap, rubbing aaisnt the sage's chest and looking content.

But that didn't stop the labored breathing and the heavy flush on his cheeks. Link was getting sicker by the minute.

She rest her hand on his forehead and her eyes widened, especially when he waved her hand away, nuzzling into the sage's chest.

“Sweet hylia..” she mumbled and then sat, letting out a sigh.

The only thing he could do now was wait for Siodn to tap in. She had to speak with him. She needed him here to help Link.

Right now politics and marriage be damned. The man had done this to her friend she was going to make sure that he was held responsible for it.

There was no way she was letting him get away with this scott free.

*

It took a few hours before Sidon's sage finally moved, wrapping his arms around Link and pressed a kiss to his warm forehead.

“Hello my pearl. Sorry I'm late, I-” he began but then froze when his eyes met Zelda's across the table the princess looking very upset. “I...I..”

“Do not lie to me Sidon,” she said to him, dropping the honorifics for now. “I know what happened. Link told me.”

“Everything?” he asked in slight panic.

“Yes, everything. For now it's just between us three. But Sidon, you marked him as your mate. You're married. What on in all of hyrule were you thinking?” she asked exhausted.

“I..I wasn't,” Sidon said. “I was so lost in it and lost in wanting happiness that it sort of just happened. But it was my sage. Nothing more. Nothing lasting.”

Zelda sighed and rose from the table, approaching them and pulled the side of Link's shirt so that he could see the mark.

“It did,” she stated flatly. And now he's in a partial drop and I'm not sure how to help him. The only thing I an think of is to send him to a specialist.”

“But then eveyone will know,” Sidon debated.

“No, I will swear them to secrecy,” Zelda explained “She's an old friend, I trust her. You should trust her too as you've met Purah before.”

The princess rest a damp cloth on Link's head.

“He's burning up, I'm sure you can feel it,” she said softly, her anger waning. “Sidon, I know you care for him. But you know I cannot lose him to this. If he dies from a drop...”

“I will not let him,” Sidon said determined. “What do you need me to do?”

A small smile formed on her face. He was taking responsibility. Good. She would keep him on that track and then try to help him later about the rest of it with his own family.

“Meet me at the watch tower in person. Not in this form. I'm sure there might be a few tests she wants you to run,” she said.

“Yes, I'll start making preparations now,” Sidon said with a nod, squeezing Link close to his body, a worried expression crossing his face. Link could very well die from this. And it was all his fault for doing it.

“I will meet you there in a few days,” She said with a nod.

Sidon gave Link's head a kiss and then he cut the connection himself. The sage would go on it's own once Link was asleep fully.

He sat at his desk, letting out a heavy sigh. The amount of paperwork that was there before him was going to have to be put on hold.

He had felt Link open the channel but after nearly destroyig his own bed last time he had to make things different. Tap in within different places.

He ran a hand down his face. He had to do something now. But how in the world did he explain this to his people? Explain this whole thing to his wife?

Perhaps he still had to keep them in the dark for the time being until things were settled. Letting everyone know now was a big issue.

But he had to at least tell his wife that he was taking his time away. He knew that their egg was due to hatch some day soon.

He hoped not to miss it, but his friend needed him.

No, not friend. Mate.

His brow furrowed and he rubbed his own mating mark from Yona. He still had a connection to her. But when he had been in his sage he felt no conection to her but only to Link.

Now he felt nothing.

Something wasn't right. How did he end up with having two mates? That didn't make sense to him at all.

It was a truly good thing they were taking him to someone who had knowledge for almost everything in hyrule.

He rose from his chair, heading out of his study to go find the queen. His other mate. He had to at least break the news to her.

And then when the came back to the kingdom he may not even very well be king any longer before of what he had done.

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my a03 (triforceangel) as another place to read my fic

[iamvegorott]

Meeting A Magical Man Pt. 29

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Marvin climbed up the side of the house as pure guilt gnawed at his insides. He wasn’t one to feel guilty for things, always just doing what he did without worry. But right now felt sick with guilt for getting Robbie involved and convincing Chase this was a good idea. Chase had point after point of why this shouldn’t happen, but Marvin had a plan and wanted to do it. 

Maybe this would finally get his head out of his ass. 

He squeezed himself in through an open window, feeling lucky to find himself in a bedroom. It was clean. Too clean. It reminded him of Henrik’s stress cleaning, making everything look like no one lived there. But there were posters on the walls, some knick-knacks on the shelves, and collections of notebooks, pens, highlighters, and paper on the desk. This was someone’s room and said someone was definitely a nerd. 

Marvin stepped out of the room and crept down the hall, finding a railing that let him look down at the first floor. He crouched and leaned against the wall, peeking down and praying none of them looked up. 

“Have him call his guardians to come get him.” The man who had answered the door said to Actor. 

“I’m just selling chocolate for my band trip.” Robbie was now sitting in one of the chairs. 

“Then why were you taking a video?” Actor asked Robbie. There was no script for this, Robbie wasn’t given any instructions on what to do with that so he just clamped his mouth shut and stared. 

“Kid looks like he’s going to shit himself,” Mike said with a sigh. “Maybe we should do what Mare said and just call whoever is in charge of him to take care of this.” 

Mare. 

Marvin got one name out of this. He didn’t see the other person in the room. They must have stepped out or was where Marvin couldn’t see. He hoped they showed up soon so he could get their name and appearance. That final person had to be the apprentice. 

“Fine.” Actor took Robbie’s phone back out and held it toward him. “Unlock it.” Marvin knew Robbie’s phone had that fingerprint scanner thing. Just a press of his thumb, and it opened to whoever had it. Including his texts, previous calls, contact names, and pictures. Pictures of him. Mike saw him, and if he sees those pictures…

Shit. 

“Unlock the phone.” Actor repeated in a harsher tone. Robbie sank into the seat more, seeming to be taking deep breaths, calming himself. “Either you do it yourself, or I will make you.” Robbie only shook his head. 

“Why do you look so scared?” Mike asked, tilting his head a bit. “I can’t tell if you’re scared of us or scared of whoever is in charge of you. Are they not good people?” 

“My dad is perfect!” Robbie sat back up and flashed his teeth in a snarl. 

“That’s a set of chompers, right there.” Mike clicked his tongue. 

“And a very defensive attitude toward his father. Perhaps the fear comes from not wanting to disappoint him. More scared of making him sad than of grown men cutting off your thumb to use your phone.” Actor snapped his fingers, and a pair of scissors appeared on them. “Just a quick snip is all, don’t worry, we’ll put it back.” 

“That’s too much.” Mare stepped between Actor and Robbie. 

“What’s ‘too much’ is allowing a child to take a video of this place and not letting me do what’s necessary to delete it.”

“Just break the-” Mare’s comment was stopped by knocking on the door. 

“Stay.” Actor said to everyone in the room, walking to the door, peeking through the window, and then opening it. “Hello?” 

“I am so sorry, but is my son here? He was supposed to be home for lunch, and that was an hour ago.” Marvin recognized Henrik’s voice, unable to see him through the door. “His phone tracker says he should be here.” 

“Come in. I think I have your boy.” Actor stepped aside, and Henrik entered the house. 

“Young man, what in the world are you doing?” Henrik cranked up the ‘angry father’ voice as he went to Robbie. Marvin could see Henrik looking him over with his eyes, likely making sure he wasn’t harmed. 

“Dad? I was-uh-” 

“He was selling chocolates and took a video of the inside of my home.” Actor cut Robbie off. “I confiscated his phone and would like that video deleted. I value my privacy.” 

“Of course, may I have that?” Henrik gestured to the phone, giving a smile of thanks as he got handed it. “Unlock it.” He held it in front of Robbie. There was a moment of hesitation, but Robbie nodded and pressed his thumb to the screen. “If you are doing those stupid little pranks with your friends again, you are going to be grounded until you leave for college,” Henrik said, tapping away at the screen. “Damned thing.” He muttered under his breath. “There.” 

“Is it deleted?” Actor asked. 

“Yes, all gone, here.” Henrik showed Actor the phone. “Sorry for the messy selfie, but sometimes these phones are too picky about how you use them.” 

“Thank you. That makes me feel better.” Actor said. 

“And you-” Henrik grabbed Robbie’s ear. Marvin could tell by the look of Henrik’s hand that he barely had a hold on him. “-are going to be in so much trouble when we get home.”

“Ow, ow, ow! Dad! My ear!” Robbie cried out as he walked with Henrik. 

“Help yourselves to the rest of the chocolates. Again, I am so sorry about my son.” Henrik said before he and Robbie left the house, closing the door with them. 

Marvin knew he should leave and get out while he could. Robbie was safe. They confirmed this was the house, but Marvin knew he could get more information if he stayed. He put Robbie in danger for this. He could put himself at risk to make it more than worth it. 

“So he was just a teen trying to set up a prank?” Mike asked. “This is why I only work with adults.” He added with a roll of his eyes and went to the box of chocolates. 

“Considering what we do, I’d hope so.” Mare sighed. 

“You can stop hiding in the corner, Mad.” Actor called off toward the part of the room Marvin couldn’t see from his spot. 

“Were you actually going to cut his thumb off?” Marvin heard a new voice. 

That had to be the apprentice. 

“I was trying to scare him. If he still refused, I was going to just grab his wrist and force it.” Actor sounded annoyed. “You should know by now how we work.” 

“I do know. I’ve seen enough of it to know.” The new voice finally got a face when they walked into view. 

Marvin wasn’t sure what or who he was expecting to see, but for some reason, the apprentice threw him off. He was small, smaller than JJ, and that was saying something. He had short brown hair and a face covered with freckles. There seemed to be a hint of burn marks on his arms, but the more Marvin looked at them, the more they faded, meaning they were healing as everything was happening. 

“Then you should know that by now, you should be tougher than you are, and you should not be so gullible.” Actor shot the last part at Mare. “We got lucky that the kid was just some punk and not a threat. With what just happened at the other house. We need to be cautious. We’ll likely be moving in a week or so.” 

“Move? We don’t need to move, we’re fine.” Mad sounded worried. 

“We’re comfortable here,” Mare explained. 

“Comfortable is what’s preventing you from progressing in your training.” Actor walked up to Mad. “You’re unwilling to push yourself to an uncomfortable point and get stronger. You will never gain control over your abilities if you cannot learn how to.” 

“I am getting better.” Mad protested. 

“Are you? I highly doubt that.” Actor’s tone was harsh. “Mike, get the bucket.”

“Wait, you don’t-” Mare didn’t get to finish before Actor waved his hand in the air. 

Marvin nearly jumped out of his skin as a sudden, loud bang filled the air and was followed by bang after bang. Marvin adjusted quickly after registering what was happening but when he looked down, Mad hadn’t. 

Mad had pressed his hands over his ears and slowly curled up on himself. He fell to his knees and shook as he cried out, sounding like he was in pain. 

“Cut it out!” Mare shouted over the banging, going down to his knees as well and holding Mad. “He gets it, cut it out!” He placed his hands over Mad’s ears but got launched away a moment later, and Mad’s entire body was on fire, his scream growing as the flames did the same. “Mad!” 

Thankfully Mad wasn’t on fire for long by the time Mike dumped a bucket of water on him, and Actor snapped his fingers, making the banging stop. Mike dropped the bucket and he walked away, Marvin could see the look on his face, he did not look happy at all. 

“You’re getting better?” Actor scoffed. “You’re progressing, gaining more control? You catch yourself on fire at any sudden loud noise.” He stood in the water, hands behind his back, and leaned over Mad. Mad was panting, trembling from the cold, from being soaking wet. He stared at the floor as Actor continued to speak. “The point of me becoming your mentor is to make you better and capable of using your strength properly. You’ll end up killing yourself and everyone around you if you refuse to listen. I found you in that warehouse. I brought you to a home away from those who abandoned you the second you were no longer who they thought you were. I am trying to help, and you keep acting like an entitled brat because you don’t always get your way.” Actor straightened up as Mad slowly rose to his feet. “You were nothing before me, and you will continue to be nothing if you insist on only focusing on things that do not matter.” His hands moved to the front, watching water drip from Mad’s hair to the floor and down his face. Marvin could see the anger on Mad’s face when he finally looked at Actor and how he had tensed up at being called nothing. 

A sore spot. 

“Eat shit and choke.” Mad just got the phrase out before Actor backhanded him across the mouth, and Marvin had to put his hands over his own to prevent a sound from coming out. He saw Mike doing the same and Mare clenching his hands into tight fists. 

“You need to stop testing my patience, Madrick.” Actor stated. “Mare. Go get him dried off.” He stepped out of the water as Mare went back to Mad, placing his hands on his shoulders and guiding him to turn around. “And Mare? If you are unable to do your job, I will find someone that will.” 

“Yes, sir,” Mare said softly and walked off with Mad. Actor waved his hand and the water mess was cleaned up. He turned to Mike and sighed.

“Why do you look pissed?” 

“Why do you keep being a dick to Mad?” Mike asked back, crossing his arms. 

“I’m not. I am being stern and strict. He needs order and structure if he is to ever become something more than some nerd that likes to read weird math books and a threat to the world at any minor inconvenience.” Actor picked up the bucket from the floor and sat it on one of the coffee tables. 

“You did the ‘stern and strict’ route with Damien and look at where that got you.” Mike scoffed. 

“Damien?” Marvin mouthed to himself. 

“He liked me at one point.” Actor sighed and sat on the couch.

“He liked you at that point because you were fucking him.” Mike went to the edge of the couch, putting one hand on top of the back and the other on the armrest, causing him to lean toward Actor a bit. “And if you try doing that with Mad, I don’t know who’s going to kill you first, me or Mare.”  

“Is that jealousy I’m detecting?” Actor said with a grin. 

“Maybe.” Mike climbed up on the couch and pushed Actor to his back as he crawled across him. “But the last time I checked, you were the one begging for me last night~” 

“A man can’t confess to what he wants?” Actor chuckled, hands sliding down Mike’s back and stopping at his rear. 

“This man should remember we’re a couple now and I will gladly cut his dick off with those scissors if he doesn’t keep what he wants happy.” Mike took one of Actor’s hands and placed it on his neck. 

“Note taken.” Actor pulled Mike down into a kiss. 

Marvin had to resist the urge to gag as he moved away from his looking spot. He’s tested his luck enough, he needed to get out of there and worked with what information he got. Voices started coming down from the other end of the hall he was in, meaning Mad and Mare were on their way. That room Marvin had been in must have been Mad’s with Actor’s comment about him. Marvin knew he couldn’t magic himself out of the house, that’d set off all the alarms, so he was going to need to climb out and he was going to need to climb out fast. 

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Tags: @brokentimewatch @bookwormscififan @d-structive @rainymae523 @ashtonisvibing

[killed-by-choice]

Cree Erwin-Sheppard, 24 (USA July 4 2016)

On the 4th of July in 2016, the mother of 24-year-old Cree Erwin-Sheppard found her dead in her bed.

She was as cold as ice. Her frantic mother called 911 and desperately tried to wake up her daughter, but it was no use.

A police investigation on Cree’s sudden death was started. Cree’s mother told the police that Cree had an abortion at Planned Parenthood a few days before and that she had gone to the ER on July 2, where she had been given painkillers, kept overnight and then discharged and told to see her GP. She had been planning to go to her usual doctor the next day.

But Planned Parenthood had torn a hole in Cree’s uterus, killing her from internal bleeding. She died in the early hours of the Fourth of July and was found unresponsive and cold.

Cree’s brother Tyler was interviewed later. He told Live Action that after Cree’s autopsy, the coroner said “she’s never seen anybody as mangled as my sister was…. [The hospital] saw her uterus was perforated and that she was bleeding internally. They still sent her home. They made it seem like it was okay, and, ‘just medicate and you should be fine.’ It felt like they were trying to cover up for Planned Parenthood… it felt like they were trying to cover up the abortion… the cause of her death, and I was upset.”

“It’s not just Cree,” Tyler said in his video interview. “There was people before Cree, and there was people after Cree…. It’s not a safe procedure…. They killed my sister. Planned Parenthood is evil…. They’re killing people…. I’m gonna continue… until they’re shut down.”

“I want Planned Parenthood to be off the table as a choice,” Tyler said when asked about his sister’s death. “They’re ravaging these women. I want to know why my sister’s life wasn’t… good enough to save.”

Tyler’s suspicions that Cree’s cause of death was being covered up were not unfounded. At first, only a heavily redacted version of Cree’s autopsy report was released. When the original version was finally obtained, it showed that nearly every reference to the abortion and to the most severe injuries was covered up. It also mentioned that Cree had morphine in her system but failed to mention that the morphine was a prescription that she had taken as directed. Cree was made to look like a drug addict even though she had no history of drug addiction. The medical examiner was later confronted and confessed to intentionally redacting everything that showed that Cree was killed by abortion.

Cree’s unredacted autopsy report

Cree’s redacted autopsy report. Note that all references to the abortion were removed. When questioned, an official confessed to intentionally removing all abortion-related information.

Battle Creek police investigation report

Cree’s hospital records. Note page 4 confirms retained “products of conception”

[kyndaris]

Trapped in a Cycle

From the sunny tropical island of Koholint, I was thrust into the wet and dreary Pale City as I followed the theme of nightmares for month of October in the video games I played. But while Link's Awakening had nightmares made manifest by a dream world, Little Nightmares II only featured nightmares in the title of the game. Still, the game, much likes it predecessor in the franchise, felt very much like playing through a waking nightmare. Especially as I explored a broken down society, with many of its denizens enraptures by the screen before them. Which, in and of itself, feels like a reflection of how current society is obsessed with their little pocket screens.

Although it was never explicitly stated, Little Nightmares II serves as a prequel to the first game in series. Just like the first game, Little Nightmares, it nails the atmosphere of what makes a good and proper horror game without relying solely on jump scares. As I played, there was always a sensation of impending doom and I was always fearful of what I might find around the corner. Coupled with the designs of the enemies, I certainly could not shake how unnerved I was throughout my time with the game. This was especialyl true during the mannequin level in the hospital and during the boss fight with the giant version of Six as she hovered protectively over a music box.

Speaking of music, it, too, played an important role in building atmosphere for the game. The soundtrack was eerily haunting with its use of piano and several key musical motifs. Of note, as well, was how the game also incorporated silence to help build tension. I know that I, not a heavy horror player, was on tenterhooks throughout the game as I crept through levels waiting for the sudden crescendos or the telltale notes to warn me of danger the next screen over.

The music, combined with the gameplay, left me with unease throughout my playthrough, which was perfect for the spooky season of October.Unlike most games I play, there is little Mono can do against his foes. Most of the time, he must run from whatever threat the game sees fit to throw at the player. Thankfully, there are moments can fight back providing a sense of empowerment that is usually lacking when running for one's life. I, especially, liked being able to grab hold of an axe or a bat to whack people or kill a creepy crawly mannequin hand.

But the gameplay, it should be noted, was also what proved incredibly frustrating throughout my time with the game. Some of it was due to the timing when it came to Mono swinging his weapons. Other times, it was the finicky hit boxes or the narrow window players were given to escape a threat. True, it added to the growing panic and tension, but by the time I was redoing the same section for the umpteenth time, much of the horror had bled away and I was left more annoyed than scared.

Of course, since playing through Star Wars Jedi: Survivor's Force Tears, this is less of an issue now. If anyone was able to do those platforming ones first go, I tip my hat off to you.

From a story perspective, Little Nightmares II keeps it close the vest. After all, this is a game with no dialogue. Everything is told via the environment and through the occasional interactions between Mono and the girl he rescues, who is later revealed to be the protagonist of the first game: Six.

Going online, there are theories aplenty of why Mono is in the Palce City and how he got there. The most popular theory says Mono is trapped in a time loop with no memory of what happened before. After all, why dream of the door in the Signal Tower where his supposed future self, the Thin Man, resides behind? And also, why is there a TV right next to him in the forest clearing he starts the game in?

These are all pertinent questions that need answers to but the game doesn't quite explain.

The theory also extends further to the Thin Man's motivations and his actions throughout the game. This includes taking Six away rather than going for both her and Mono. Some have even speculated that the Thin Man was trying to save his younger self from the trauma of the inevitable betrayal from Six. One, sparked because Six saw Mono's true face and realised he was the Thin Man all along - the one who had trapped her.

But I ask you: why then doesn't the Thin Man just let them go? If Six betrays Mono because she was captured, then isn't the way to break the loop be to not traumatise her in the first place?

If that were not the case, what else could motivate Six to leave behind? Especially given the fact she'd always been there to catch mono in the past.

Was she always evil then? And what of the Hunger that seemed to only come into play until the very end during the secret ending?

So many questions, so little answers. And now, Little Nightmares III has been announced!

While I'm curious to see how it will unfold, I'm still unsure if I'll pick it up given it was advertised as a co-op game (albeit with online co-op functionality and can be played solo if so chose). Then again, I want to see how, or IF, it ties back to Six in any way shape or form. There's still so much to be plumbed in this strange world the developers have created.

Even though it's creepy and scary, Little Nightmares knew how to keep me hooked with the many mysteries it lay out. Here's hoping the third game in the series doesn't disappoint.

Overall, I enjoyed my time with Little Nightmares II. As a short game, it was a fun dive into something a little different from the usual triple-A titles I normally play. And given I'd played the first game in the series, I was curious to see how the second one would unfold after reading all about it on the internet. I'm certainly going to put the soundtrack on just to give it a proper listen when I've the time.

[sweetshelluvaau]

-HELLo and welcome-

Hello, my name is Sweets and welcome to my little blog in this little corner of tumblr. I'm just a little salty, jaded woman on the Spectrum from the states who enjoys writing/drawing and bitching about everything. Oh, and I'm sorta a fan of Hellaverse. Sorta.

This blog was made for me to share my Hellaverse/Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel rewrite(s) I’m working on while also giving me a space to share my thoughts on the show(s) soI don't spam my HB/HH roleplay blogs with critical content. I'm salty af, what can I say.

My Helluva Boss rewrite is called I.M.P: Immediate Murder Professionals and my Hazbin rewrite is called Hazbin Hotel: Redemption Arc (at least until I can think of a better name but I like it as of now). I talk a little about the direction of my stories will take here.

What this blog basically is:

This is all the fault of my friend Nihlis! We both happened to be fans of Hellaverse (and still are in some sense) but have been turned off by the writing focus and decisions made within HB Season Two and found Hazbin Hotel to be a bit 'lackluster' to say the least. You can argue that the writing in the serie(s) as always been hot garbage but I felt HB Season One wasn’t as bad as it is now but going back to S1 also opened our eyes a lot to the problems that plague the series from the start but only now taking full notice of. After plenty angry, salty discussions and a little pushing and honestly a bit of boredom on my part: This blog was formed. 

This blog will be very Hellaverse/Vivziepop Critical, but never to the point of down right spiteful (as I said, I’m a/I was a fan of the show). If just sharing someone thoughts and criticism, even if it’s constructive or/and not to bash Vivziepop as a person but to criticize her as creator turns you off, then this isn’t the place for you. You’re more than welcome to share/send in your own thoughts regardless if it’s positive or negative, along you’re polite and civil about it. I WILL DOWNRIGHT INGORN HATE/ATTACKS/HARSSMENT ON ME, MY FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS OR ANYONE ELSE (including Vivziepop and everyone that worked on the show). This isn’t the place for that!

What I plan for this blog is to share my rewrites/restructuring/redesigns of how I (and/or Nihlis if he wishes to add some of his own thoughts to this blog) would handle/fix/would tell the story with the source material given to us plus adding my own twist on things, big and small.

I also hope to gain feedback for myself so I can grow as a writer and artist as well. Pleased don’t feel shy to share your suggestions or questions about this AU via ask. Heck, don’t feel shy to link to your own designs or AUs I love see them! Maybe we can even bounce ideas off each other!?

I am not a professional writer nor do I claim to be one. This is all for fun at the end of the day

What this blog isn’t:

A hit piece. While I will be very critical on this blog about my thoughts on Vivizepop’s writing, character design (tho I’m no expert when it comes to that neither) and some of her own actions, I do not hate Vivizie as a person even though I do have some thoughts about her personality. I do not know her in real life, I just consume some of her content and question some of her writing decisions. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen to be going on behind close doors at SpindleHorse Toons is not the point of this blog so I will not be addressing the allegations thrown out unless I feel it’s needed, let alone my own thoughts on the matter. There are blogs that do address her actions and behavior in more detail however.

I’m also not trying to 1up/have a ‘gotcha!’ moment on Vivizie. Like I said, this is all for fun. I’m just another salty jaded fan on the internet that should be no more insignificant to her just as any other fan and ‘hater’.

Um, so yeah. Hi~

[cr1mson5returns]

Personal under the cut. I'm just feeling many Things.

I had an appointment today at a charity/non-profit health clinic. I've been struggling to get my medical and psychiatric needs met for several months, since I'm currently uninsured. Since it was my first appointment there, I had to fill out some new patient paperwork - demographic information and contact information, the works, including an emergency contact.

And I hesitated, because...traditionally I've always put my dad in that space as my emergency contact. When I was a kid, he traveled a lot for work, and so it was smarter to put down my mom because she was more likely to be in town. But as I got older, I started putting down my dad, because he was more likely to have a level head about the situation, especially if it was anything self-inflicted. But today, sitting in that clinic, I couldn't bring myself to put down my dad's information. I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea. So I put in a friend's instead, even though I hadn't asked him beforehand if I could, because he's one of the few people I have local anymore who could reasonably show up in case of an emergency.

I'll concede that if it was life or death and truly very serious, I'd at least want my parents to know where I was, if not what happened to me. But anything less than "your daughter will literally die in 24 hours or less" I don't really want them to know about. I stopped allowing them access to my medical records when I moved out, because things had gotten so toxic as a result of me coming out. I didn't want them to have information they could potentially use against me. I just didn't have the strength to unpack that revelation back then.

It felt really strange to make that choice after so long of hearing "they're your parents, they deserve to know" on loop in my head. But the reality is that biological proximity to me doesn't mean they deserve anything from me. Not after the way they treated me, not after everything that happened to me. I didn't want my dad to walk me down the aisle at my wedding in 2020 because I felt like he would do it out of a sense of obligation, not because he loved me. I disinvited them because of how awful they were about everything leading up to the wedding. When I found out a relative had given them the livestream link, I was outraged. I hadn't wanted them to have access to that moment they didn't really care about. That they never even publicly acknowledged after it happened.

There's a part of me that feels like I'm giving up on my family by maintaining this no-contact state of being. Many different people have emphasized their feeling that I should be open to the idea of reinstating contact one day. But the thing is...I don't think my family deserves it. I don't think it'll ever be worth the anxiety of wondering if they've really changed, or the anticipation of the terrible treatment happening again. I don't think I could handle the idea that I'd fold back in just to have to exit once more. I can't imagine a world where they're willing to change their behavior. They loved the idea of who I was more than who I actually was, let alone who I am now. Sometimes I'm crippled with this fear that they'll mail me something to my old address, and it'll get forwarded to where I currently live. But then I remember that they never recalled my address the same way they did my oldest sister's, and they'd have to actually miss me to mail me something. Even if they did mail me something, I'd probably just throw it away. I can't hurt myself like that anymore. I can't go back to those places and mental spaces and all the things that kept me under that abuse for years.

Still, there's a part of me that craves that chaotic feeling of wondering if I'll ever be good enough for them, so I might as well try again because it might change this time! They might actually love me and be proud of me for who I am this time! But it never changes. I was always hurting myself with those efforts. It has to stop. Even when it's new and scary.

So I have a new emergency contact for the first time in my life.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Day 29 -- Colonel James Hsu

The (nsfw) details for Kinktober, Day 29 are just below the cut!

Minors, please don't interact.

Authority Kink with Hsu x F! Six

I like... REALLY like Hsu. Idk what it is about him, but he's just... he's great.

I hope you all love it! ❤

And just a head's up, tomorrows might be out a little later (like this one was) because I'm really getting down to the wire here, but it will be out! And the one for Halloween is already ready, so that one should be out on time on Monday 😁

Here is the link to my Kinktober 2022 Event list so you can stay up-to-date, or re-visit these works as you please.

Included: Authority Kink, cunnilingus, cum eating, sub/dom dynamics, role reversal, orgasm delay/denial, coping, vaginal sex, riding, following commands, verbal bondage (is that a thing?), feelings, cuddles, developing relationship.

3.5k words.

--

“Doesn’t it feel good, Colonel?” Six stroked her fingers through his clean cut hair, tugging at the short strands just as she jammed his nose into her clit. “Doesn't it feel good to turn that loud mind of yours off?”

Her eyes were hazy with pleasure, but her expression was rather smug as she gazed down at him.

Hsu was… well, he was a bit of a mess. He had been, all day.

He needed this.

He needed Six, to take his mind off things, to make him feel supported, to make him feel not so alone, and even, not so in charge. Hsu didn’t know how he did it before her, before this.

His thoughts drizzled away like a passing storm as he delved deeper between her legs, a hand on either of her thighs, spreading them to get as close as possible to her most intimate place. Everything about her was a distraction, in the best of ways. The orders that she commanded him to follow, the heavy sound of her breaths, the restrained rumble of her moans, the sight of her, with her furrowed brow and flushed face, her wanton expression, the taste of her, sweet and tangy against his eagerly lapping tongue, the feel of her heat on his mouth, the softness of her thighs where he gripped them with strong, calloused hands. He wasn’t sure how he ever lived without it all.

“That’s it, baby. Now, move up a bit.” Her eyes closed in bliss as he dutifully followed her direction, pressing the point of his tongue over that sensitive nub nestled within her sopping folds and grinding against it with a willing fervor. “There. Shit, that’s just right."

He felt her fingers grip tightly in his hair.

"Atta boy.”

Hsu groaned against her in response, his own eyes falling closed as he poured all of his attentions into her pleasure, into her engulfing heat. His thumbs dug into the plush skin of her thighs, prying them as far apart as they could go, and he pushed his face all the way into her. His tongue delved down to her entrance, pressing inside as he ground his nose into her clit, sacrificing his breathing in order to satisfy her.

The Colonel allowed so many others to do so much for him, for the NCR, for the cause. Men and women who'd given everything, their families, their time, their morals, and their lives. Now, Hsu reveled in every opportunity he had to give back. He wanted to make sacrifices for his soldiers just the same, wanted to be right alongside them on the front lines, but someone has to command.

And the NCR had chosen him.

So with Six, he gave back. He was selfless, he put himself in a place that brought her pleasure, brought her joy. He never took, only gave, because in here, in this room, with only her, he could.

Hsu could be vulnerable with Six, he could let her take charge, and he never had to worry about her image of him, her respect, her belief that he could still lead, despite this need to let go once in a while, to let another take charge of him. She’d never doubted him, not once, and he could hardly say that for anyone else, especially himself. Beyond his incessant need to give back wherever he could, he truly did just want to please her.

He truly did care about her. More than he could see himself ever letting on while she was under his command, while she was still an outsider.

Hsu didn’t much care for the politics and policies of it all, but duty is duty, whether or not you personally agree with it.

Six’s hips bucked up off the cot, jamming Hsu’s nose into her and making his eyes water, dragging his mind from his troubling thoughts once more. He migrated the grip of his hands, smoothing them up over her thighs to grasp now at her hips, to hold them firmly down on his cot. 

Small breaths and whimpers began to spill from Six’s lips. Her sense of smugness and control were gone for the moment, as she felt herself climbing that blissful mountain to ride down the avalanche of her explosive release. Hsu basked in his ability to drive her to this point, and his eyes snapped open to witness it, as he ground his nose into her before dragging his tongue upwards and settling his lips around that swollen point of her clit. Once there, he sucked as though his life depended on it, hollowing his cheeks from the force and teasing at the twitching nub with his tongue with each attempted buck of her hips against him, until she finally bit into her wrist and cried out her release. Her legs and hips shook beneath his hands, testing the strength in them as she writhed against the pleasure. Her eyes, her face… they were something to behold.

Whether he wished it to be true or not, Hsu lived for that expression. It was her truest self, not any of the numerous fronts she put up on a daily basis. And he understood why she did it, why she put up those walls, by God, did he, but the fact that here, with him, she could allow herself that vulnerability, that she could show him that kind of authenticity… it honored him beyond words.

As Sole's legs stilled and turned to jelly beneath his hands, Hsu at last pulled away from where he was ravaging her clit, setting his lips upon her lower ones as slick spilled from her with each clench of her stomach and each deep, haggard breath leaving her heaving chest.

The Colonel drank her up like a divine desert nectar, his eyes shielded by half-closed lids as he messily consumed everything she had to give him. The grip of his hands on her hips was strong, almost bruising, as Six came down from that all-encompassing high. He felt her fingers tug tiredly at his hair, dragging him away from his feast as Hsu leaned against the pressure, desperate still, for more of this delicious distraction.

“Enough, Colonel.” Her firm voice did the trick, and Hsu relented to her command, falling back to sit on his heels, his knees crying out in discomfort as he knelt on the hard, concrete floor. “Calm down, I’m not finished with you yet.”

Hsu licked his lips in anticipation, cleaning a bit of her slick release from around his glistening mouth. He nodded to her in understanding, and awaited her next command.

Six sat up on her elbows, and then rose into a sitting position, prepared to stand up, until she noticed the glaring arousal tenting the Colonel’s ASU-grade trousers. She tutted at him, and that smug look made itself comfortable as it rested upon her face.

Hsu looked down, unaware, at first, to what exactly she was noticing, until it became glaringly obvious, and thoroughly uncomfortable all at once. He gulped and looked away as he felt a blush alight upon his cheeks.

“Don’t even need to get you ready, huh, officer?” She folded her arms over her still-clothed chest. “Just burying yourself between my legs for a few minutes, and you’re all ready to burst.”

Hsu’s jaw clenched.

Should I be ashamed? That her pleasure bleeds so easily into mine? That it inspires it?

Her tone suggested it, but he couldn’t find a reason to be… Not when he got to see and feel the thunderous results of his efforts.

“Well, your eagerness might not be an issue now, but…” She looked at him hard, her eyes dark with deviousness as she stood from her place on the cot. “I’m feeling pretty ready to get off again. And whether you can last through it or not…” She leaned down until their noses were almost touching. “I’m getting mine, Colonel.”

He nodded to her, excitement pouring through his veins as determination furrowed his brow.

“Good.” She threw him a small smile, and stood up to her full height, as Hsu still kneeled from the floor, looking up at her.

“Now, on the bed.”

Her hand waved to the small cot, and Hsu hastily got on his feet.

“Oh, and undress for me. Completely.”

Six waltzed over to the other side of the room, looking at herself in the mirror as she fixed her hair, as she wiped at the running bits of her makeup and pulled her shirt down where it had began to ride up over her curves.

Hsu pulled his uniform from himself quickly, as though the task were being timed, and once he was fully nude, he crawled onto the bed and settled himself in a seated position, one that served to at least slightly conceal his extremities.

“Nuh uh.” Six shook her head as she spotted him in the mirror, and turned to face him. “Lay down. Spread your legs, and keep your hands down on the mattress. And to yourself.” She turned back to the mirror, and grabbed her lipstick from the nearby table, reapplying until it looked flawless.

Quickly, Hsu became conscious of his own appearance, and he tried to hastily smooth down his ruffled hair, wipe any remaining slick from the sides of his face, from his chin, but Six’s stern look halted his efforts as she turned again to face him.

“Hands down.”

He did as she asked instantly. Without question.

Hsu remained silent as Six slowly approached him, her eyes drinking in the sight of his fully exposed form, no detail was safe from her scrutinizing glare, and as her eyes settled to that hardened place between his legs, he felt himself twitch. He could see the way she held back a smile as she noticed his body's reaction.

She moved onto the bed with the speed of oozing tar, and Hsu unconsciously ground his teeth in frustrated impatience. Six smiled at that too, and slowed even further.

Eventually, she made it to him, climbing up over his body until she was straddling him with her heat pressed to his thighs. Six hovered there a moment, and he wondered if she was waiting for something from him, but he couldn’t venture a guess as to what it could be, he couldn’t. His mind was growing so hazy and disorganized, his thoughts were light and empty-feeling, and he couldn’t for the life of him recall any of the issues that had plagued him, what? An hour ago?

Six really was something. More than just a distraction. It was like she took him to an entirely new world, a new life where his responsibilities had no place, where his title was just his name, where he could be care free, without consequence.

It was so unlike the true life he lived.

Just as Hsu was obtaining the frame of mind needed to voice anything to her, Six’s cool hands grasped at his searing cock, pumping over it for half a moment, just long enough for the action to steal his breath, before she was lifting herself up, and aligning that begging, leaking tip with her slick entrance.

Hsu groaned out in bliss as she sank onto him, the feel of her warm, soft walls spreading around him sending that distracted feeling in his mind into overdrive until there was nothing in the world but this. But her.

Unconsciously, Hsu’s hands rose off the mattress, instinctually going to her hips to guide her as she began to move up and down over his shaft. Six’s hands quickly slapped his away, and pinned them to the mattress.

“No touching, remember?”

“Yes. Sorry.” He said through gritted teeth, and she gave him one single nod of approval at his apology.

“Good. Don’t let it happen again.”

“Yes, sir.” He said, and this was instinctual as well. Six grinned at the sound of his obedience. At that, she began to move in earnest, hauling herself up, before pushing down hard and landing in his lap. Hsu fought back the urge to buck into her, believing that that too would be off-limits.

She was just using him. That’s what it seemed like. He was just a way to get her off, and his pleasure would only come from his proximity, the friction of her finding the best rhythm for her release to be ushered forward. Yet, even knowing all this, Hsu couldn’t bring himself to regret a damn thing. He… liked it. He liked being useful, he liked following orders, of course he liked the feeling of her fucking herself on him, but he also like her disregard of him. It was strange, but the lack of attention to him, the lack of consideration, even the lack of respect, it made him feel… good. It made him feel free.

As Colonel, he could never escape the attentions of all his soldiers, the respect of them, yes, but also their constant scrutiny, their judgment of him. With Six, it was inconsequential. His thoughts, his decisions, his opinions and actions, they hardly mattered at all.

It was a goddamn relief.

“Christ, Six.” Hsu’s head fell back as he felt his stomach clench in pleasure, as he felt a growing tightness being pulled taut in his belly.

“Shh. Let me get off, baby.” Her eyes had closed now, and he could feel her growing steadily wetter. He hadn’t even thought that possible, but it felt delicious against him, as she glided up and down over his shaft, her walls gripping and massaging him until he felt fit to burst.

His cock twitched within the confines of her wet heat, and Six blinked one eye open.

“Remember what I said. Don’t care if you’re done or not, Colonel. I’m still getting mine.”

He grunted below her at a particularly harsh thrust that drove the sensitive head of him against that spongy place deep within her.

“And I’m not there yet. So you’d better hold off. For your own good.”

Hsu's teeth gritted together to the point of pain as he closed his eyes, trying to black out the image of her, all made up, with her flawless makeup and her styled hair, so different than anyone he’d ever seen, anyone he’d met, especially at his post in the NCR. New Vegas maybe had a few diamond gals like that, but Six was just… different.

She was everything he’d ever wanted, in all his wildest dreams, in those lonely nights he spent coming up with the perfect partner in his head, one he didn't think could ever even exist, but she was it, and he knew her, and she was doing this with him, and yet… Still, he knew, he had to tell himself, that she was unobtainable as a romantic partner. She was off limits, taboo, against the rules, and maybe… Maybe that too was one of the many things he adored about her. One of the many things that drew him to her, that made him crave her, and crave this, unlike any other. 

Closing his eyes wasn’t nearly as effective as he hoped it would be. Sure, it shut out the image of her grinding against him, of her pleasured expression, her jostling chest, but it only enhanced the feeling of her around him. Every twitch and clench, every rush of slick, every time he reached the back of her, he could feel every minute detail of her pleasure, and that spurred him forward even more, ever closer to the threshold of his forbidden release.

“S-Six. Please.” His voice groaned out against his will, and he didn’t need to open his eyes to see the way she was smiling down at him. Her walls clenched him hard at his words.

“Please?” Her voice echoed through the room smugly. “Please, what, commander?”

Hsu groaned, his fingers rapidly clenching and unclenching at the sheets of his bed.

“Please. Finish. Grind against me. Take me, take your pleasure on me. Just finish.”

“Hmm.” She hummed, and her pace slowed. Hsu nearly choked in disappointment as the friction against his yearning cock halted.

“Let me think for a moment… Do you deserve it? What all have you done for me recently? I can’t indulge you, can't spoil you. That would be irresponsible. Unless you’ve done enough to earn this. Isn't that what you say to your soldiers?” 

His mind was shrieking with want, clouding with frustration and need, but Hsu forced his tone to remain steady.

“I made you cum. With my mouth.”

“Yeah, but I’ve done that for you before. Plenty of times. I’m not sure that quite qualifies. I'm not sure it's enough.”

He grunted as her walls clenched him teasingly, and his cock pulsed inside her; prepared, with just the slightest bit of stimulation, to spill out his release.

“I’ll do it again. Whatever you want. I’ll sleep with my mouth between your legs, I’ll please you until the sun rises, and then tomorrow night when you return. Please, Six, sir, please use me. Use me to finish, and please, let me finish myself.”

She thought a moment longer, and Hsu felt a bead of sweat slide down from his temple. He was practically trembling with want, with anticipation, and finally, Six saw fit to indulge him.

“Very well.” She rose up until she was almost completely off him-- "You keep your word, and I'll keep mine. I'll let you finish." --And then she slammed back down, before grinding viciously into him. The head of his cock pounded against that sensitive point inside her, driving him swiftly to the brink of his end with all of the stimulation.

He grit his teeth hard, trying with everything to hold off, to wait for her release before indulging in his own, and he managed to hold fast as Six brought one hand between them to rub over her clit.

God, how he wanted to do that for her, but he couldn’t. He had to follow orders. Had to keep his word.

Just a few more thrusts, and thankfully, Six found her release. Her head fell back as her walls clenched wildly around his rock-hard length, and she stifled a groan of… of what?

Was that his name leaving her perfect lips?

As Six groaned out that word, hardly more than a throaty whisper, it crashed lightly against his eardrums, and James was able to make sense of it, make it out. He was able to hear his name.

It had been so long since he heard his name spill from another. It was always sir, Colonel, Hsu, commander, and a slew of other impersonal titles that left him feeling like… Like he wasn't a person. Like he was only his station, only his command, only his authority. Even Six, for all her perfection, all the good she's done for him personally, for knowing him so well, so intimately, he could never recall his first name leaving her like this.

It was enough to send James spiraling over the edge, and he pulled her off his lap just as his cock began to spew out his milky, white release in frantic spurts. He allowed himself the indulgence of moaning her name out in return as his hips twitched and his cock pulsed between their writhing bodies.

In the end, Six collapsed on top of him, her body half on the mattress and half thrown over his as she caught her breath, and as he spilled the last bits of his seed out onto his clenching stomach.

A few final tremors went through the both of them, until finally, the dark cloud of intensity lifted and left them both light, both airy, both… happy.

James didn’t often feel happy these days. But that’s what he felt now, as Six settled in at his side, her arms curling around him, one leg settled between his, her fidgeting foot sliding over one of his calves as they both came down from their blissful highs.

“Thank you, Six.” Hsu spoke softly, still catching his breath as his affectionate gaze locked to her closed lids.

“Mm. My pleasure, sir.”

A grin tugged at his lips.

We’re back. Back to Colonel and Soldier.

It had been so stressful, not two hours ago, to think of himself that way; that way, in relation to Six, but now, with a clear mind, with that need to please effectively satisfied– for the time being, at least– he could be Colonel again. He didn’t feel the need to shy from it, to escape the title, the responsibility, as he had earlier that same day.

“I…” Hsu started, biting at his lip as a blush rose to his cheeks. “I hope you know, too, Six, that… Well, I wasn’t lying.”

Her eyebrows scrunched at that as she looked tiredly up at him.

“Hm?”

“I’d still like to keep my word. My promise to… to please you. In whatever way you wish.” 

He heard an amused puff of air leave her nose, and Six’s grip over his chest tightened.

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Right now though, you want to know what would please me most?”

“Tell me.” He drew a hand up to gently swipe a strand of hair from where it fell over her face.

“If we both got some sleep.”

“Mm.” Hsu nodded in agreement, wrapped an arm around her warm body, and drew her close. “That would please me too.”

[tsarinatorment]

Hi! This is totally random & meant in good faith but i see a lot of people say "Riordan made Nico gay out of nowhere/for diversity attention points only!!1!1" I'm wondering if you have any theories on this- when in the writing process do you think riordan decided to make nico gay and why him? also why will solace be the love interest?

Quite frankly, anon, I don't have a clue when he added that detail to Nico's characterisation. Unfortunately I'm not inside Rick's head, so there's only so much I can guess from the outside anyway, and even from that - when I first read PJO, I was a sheltered good little Christian girl at a Catholic school who didn't even know people could be anything other than straight, and while I took a big gap in keeping up with Riordanverse (I stopped reading after MOA for about a decade), when I did pick it up again, I'd already been spoiled on Nico's sexuality and Solangelo, so I honestly never had a chance to spot where Rick might have started trying to sneak hints in.

That being said, as someone who does work on original stuff as well as fanfiction, and therefore has a whole cast of original characters lurking in the back of my brain, it would not overly surprise me if it just felt right to make Nico gay (heck knows some of my own ocs like to surprise me with little factoids about them I was not intending in the first place). That being said, given the massive push for diverse representation in HOO (regardless of how well or poorly executed parts of it are), especially compared to the far less diverse PJO, I would also not be overly surprised if Rick had thought "I should include a gay character", looked at the interactions he'd already written between Nico and Percy, and went "that works, I don't even need to bring in a new character" (especially given how a lot of Rick's worldbuilding is full of glossed-over holes that he can conveniently fill later without contradicting himself too much; it's certainly not a world-building tactic I could follow - I get way too bogged down in the minute details which is why my original novel has existed for seventeen years but has never got past chapter four - but it's one he's mostly managed to make work for him).

It also works to pulverise/ostracise Nico even more, as though he's not been bullied by the narrative enough already... Rick, bullying Nico is now a very, very dead horse, it's time to let him have his happy ending and not throw him back into Tartarus, just saying...

As for why Will; honestly, I suspect there's at least one of two factors coming into play here. Firstly, Will is an already-existing character of similar age who has no narratively important links to the main cast. (Malcolm could also have fit, except for the fact that he's Annabeth's half-brother and given the whole Nico vs Percabeth thing, a child of Athena was likely out of the question). Rick did not need to pluck a brand new character out of the air, but Will was minor enough that he had a lot of space to expand and explore (which he has still mostly not done, I would add, and the scenes in BOO are painfully obviously setting up the ship - a little too blatant and sudden, if you ask me). Secondly, people love the opposites attract trope, and a son of Apollo is pretty opposite to a son of Hades, especially if the life/sun aspects are emphasised compared to the death/shadows ones.

I don't think he picked Will because Will could be Nico's personal healer, however - for starters, as I keep saying and will continue to keep saying, that's an incredibly unhealthy/toxic relationship dynamic, and throwing your one canon gay character into a toxic relationship... that's a really, really bad move. Also, we clearly see that not being the case in TOA - they have a very good, well-balanced relationship where Nico supports Will at least as much as Will supports Nico (if not moreso), and Nico is going to Dionysus for help, not dumping everything on Will and expecting him to fix it.

[eyndr-stories]

To Be Human (FNAF SB fanfic) C1 - It Is ALIVE

In Summary:

In a distant future where humans no longer roam the Earth and the sentient robots they left behind are left with little to no clues as to the lost history of their inherited world, Sun and Moon take up the title of scientists and endeavor to create their own human in their lab (that's where you come in!) in order to shed light on the mystery that is the lost history of the human race. Shenanigans and existential dread ensue as you, a funky little lab creature given sentience, attempt to puzzle out what it really means to be human.

Things To Know (always read responsibly!):

Reader insert! Y/N is not used and gender is not specified, though later in the fic the reader receives a name (also, this reader does not have any boobas lol which I only mention because reader doesn't have a shirt when they first Emerge From The Science Tube Thing and I don't mean to curse / bless yall with the mental image of reader just runnin around titties out lmao)

hurt / comfort :^)

Non-specified relationships between reader and Sun & Moon, this can be read either as pals or more, totally up to your interpretation

enemies (sorta??) to friends (to perhaps more, up to u lol)

Sun & Moon are referred to with gender neutral pronouns

The reader and other characters are often in mortal peril! This world is full of Funky Creatures (other than you) and some of them attack and hurt several characters, including the reader character

On that note there is some blood and minor gore

Occasional swearing

Reader is at times kidnapped / brough to / kept in places against their will

Thoughts and ponderings of sentience and whether or not your thoughts and feelings are your own

Sun & Moon treat the reader as if they are not sentient / intelligent for the first few chapters

That's all I can think of, as always if you want me to add something please let me know!

Ao3 link: Right here!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

C1 - It Is ALIVE

     There weren't words, at least not at first. Experiences were as indescribable as they were all encompassing. You didn't know what was happening, but you sure didn't like it, whatever it was.

     Slowly, things started to make sense, at least. There was a strange disconnect from these experiences, despite how world-shakingly intense they were.

     Bright.

     Sore.

     Pressure.

     Cold.

     There was a lot going on, as far as you could tell, but those things seemed to be the most pressing matters. Things became clearer, senses started kicking in.

     "Of all the unbelievably irresponsible-"

     "Yell at me all you want! I can't stand this any longer! The way they treated us… what they were planning to do, and it was only going to get worse, I had to!"

     "How you feel doesn't matter. What matters is that without a second thought you just flushed years worth of work and funding down the drain!"

     “At least we’ll be able to start over!”

     Speech, that's what this was. It was loud, but not as loud as that repetitive high pitched noise.

     Stifling darkness, interrupted by painful flashes of red light. Figures moving around quickly, and something bright shining an annoying blue light at you. All of this was distorted, not as it should be. Sight was becoming clearer and clearer.

     That cold was so heavy. As was the air… why was everything pressing down on you like this? This pressure, it hadn't been here before, though those memories felt distant now… and there was this goop coating everything, slowly dripping away through an uncomfortable grate below you. You’d been suspended in the goop until a few moments ago. You felt the barrier around you, the distortion. It was smooth and cool. There was a word for it, but you didn't quite have all the details sorted yet.

     Sound, sights, feeling, processing all of it all at once so suddenly, it was upsetting. It was overwhelming.

     A word came to you. Misery.

     "Listen to me, for once. It's done now, there's no undoing it. You've got two options. Either you're with me, or you're against me. What'll it be, Moon?"

     The arguing ceased. The absence of the noise was a relief. All you could do was slowly wake up to the world around you and do your best not to drown under the experience of it.

     "Think of the other attempts, what the investor did to them, how little they care about our ends. Think of why we started this in the first place," that same voice pleaded. “Answers. Responsibility.”

     "I hate this," the other voice grumbled. "How dare you make these decisions on your own, like these years in collaboration meant nothing to you."

     "That's rich, coming from you. Who was it again who brought on an investor without talking it over in the first place?"

     "Sun-! Ugh. This is not the time for this. We have minutes to get everything together and get out of here."

     "…Does that mean you're coming with me?"

     "What choice do I have?"

     There was another stretch of silence.

     You were starting to get a grip on things, slowly but surely. As the moments dragged on, everything slowly became more and more bearable. You became aware of yourself, of the physical form you had autonomy over. You were so weird- long in places, squishy in most areas, a little pointy in others. Some things bent and others didn't. limbs and digits, it was so much, and you hadn't figured out how it all worked just yet.

     "Hurry, help me with this. If we disconnect this door we can go out the back way and buy ourselves more time," one of those voices said.

     There was movement and more noise. You were hardly paying attention anymore now that you were able to somewhat tune things out.

     Hands. Fingers. You bent these digits one at a time. You used your hands to gather more information, tactile, feeling. The distortion around you- glass, that's what it was- the remaining goop on you, and your own self. Fingers felt over your arms, your face, the stiff cloth shorts you were wearing. Something told you not to touch the things allowing you sight. Farther up, at the very top of you, something soft and silky. What was this??

     You ceased everything else, tuned everything else out, and focused entirely on the soft texture at the top of your head. The word was coming to you slowly and you pushed both hands into the softness. Everything else so far had been horrible, overwhelming, nearly painful, but this… this was nice.

     Hair. Soft hair.

     You pushed your fingers through it again and again, relieved at the positive experience. You kept this up, and slowly focused back on everything else around you, finding everything to be far more bearable as you kept up with the motion.

     There were two beings beyond the glass tube you were in. these two were moving quickly, gathering objects from the environment beyond the tube and gathering everything together in bags. They kept talking to each other, tones full of focus, irritation, and worry.

     You didn't care about these other noisy creatures. You wanted to get out of this tube, and preferably someplace quieter. You pressed one hand into the glass, gathering more tactile information. Too strong to push away. Too thick to push through. It encompassed you entirely, so you couldn't maneuver over it. The grate below you was much the same, too strong and too thick, unmoving under your hand.

     You looked again to the creatures on the other side of the glass. Why were they outside, and you were inside?? Hardly seemed fair.

     You considered communication. You could not get out of the tube on your own. You wanted assistance from these two beings, but you didn't have the complexities of speech worked out in your brain yet. How else could you communicate…?

     You used your physical form, as it was all you had to work with. You slapped your hand against the glass, almost immediately gaining the attention of both creatures.

     The brighter colored of the two made a startled noise and visibly jumped. The darker colored one seemed surprised as well, and exclaimed something that you didn't catch.

     Pat pat pat. You pat the glass again.

     "It's still alive. And it's awake?!" the bright one shrieked.

     "What did you do??" the dark one demanded.

     "What did I do?! I tried to sabotage the project, I didn't expect it to… oh, Moon. Oh, what do we do? What do we do??"

     "Calm down, Sun. Obviously we just leave it behind. We have more than enough to start over again," the darker, Moon, said.

     Wait. That's not what you wanted. You used both hands now to pat at the glass, somewhat frantically.

     "Leave it- you realize what they'll do to it," the brighter -Sun- said, horrified.

     "You should have thought of that before you made all these sudden rash decisions for us," Moon said.

     "Moon. We are not just going to leave it here. You're the one who's always going on about the responsibility of creation! This creation is ours. It's our responsibility. We can't leave it behind," Sun argued.

     Moon made a dissatisfied, angry sort of noise. "Using my own philosophy against me," they grumbled. "Fine, fine. But you're figuring out how to take it with us."

     Sun moved a hand around the thing emitting the bright blue light, and suddenly the glass tube was moving upwards away from you, and you watched it lift away with wide eyes.

     Finally, you got a clear view of the room beyond the tube. This cylindrical space was filled with sleek control panels and wires and shelves full of tools and vials. All things you were struggling to wrap your head around. There were crates and lots of tall tables and machines you couldn’t begin to understand the function of.

     Slowly, you understood more and more about the world around you, your brain slowly working out more and more information. This room was a facility of some sort, the words lab and science coming to you, but to what end, you had no idea.

     The walls were white and bare except for the multicolored wires running up and down them. Some wires hooked up to machines, others vanished into the walls or tangled together in jumbled messes. The glass tube had been right in the middle of the room, and you now felt very cold and exposed and unsafe, sitting out in the open right in the middle of this confusing environment.

     The two beings were clearer now as well. They were much bigger than you, and had more limbs. Four arms each, all eight working frantically to stuff items into a pair of large bags. They both had circular flat heads, but the mostly yellow one had faintly glowing triangles poking out of the edges of their head. The mostly blue one wore a pair of shiny goggles on their head. They both were wearing matching white coats, though Moon’s sleeves were rolled up, and Sun’s was neatly buttoned up.

     What caught your attention most was their skin. It wasn’t like your own, it was hard, smooth, shiny in some places, well worn in others, colors fading into dark grey. Metal, that’s that it was. These beings were made of metal.

     Suddenly, Sun moved quickly towards you, jolting you from your thoughts.

     PANIC, FOE, ATTACK, HURT.

     You flailed in a blind panic as Sun approached, then scrambled over yourself to move away, scurrying as quick as you could in the opposite direction. You acted on sudden overwhelming instinct, fueled by a heart-gripping energy. You climbed up on top of a table, getting that goop all over the poorly organized tools strewn about here.

     Moon eyed the scene warily as they kept packing. Sun, who'd been startled away, was now approaching again, much slower this time.

     "Ohhhhhkay, you're a lot more aware and active than I thought you'd be," Sun mumbled. They held all four hands out and took a few steps closer.

     You shied back, uncertain about what the hell Sun was wanting to do with you. When Sun continued advancing, you grabbed the closest item up off the desk and wound it back to throw it at Sun, threatening to turn the item into a projectile. Sun paused.

     “Oh my, please don’t throw that, it’s very expensive,” Sun said worriedly.

     “Sun, it can’t understand you,” Moon snapped.

     You scowled and threw the item at Moon.

     Moon yelped and fumbled, barely managing to catch it. Sun took this opening to dart forwards and grab you.

     You hissed and growled and thrashed, extremely displeased with this. Sun struggled, but they were bigger and had twice as many arms.

     “You can’t mean to transport it like that,” Moon said. They stuffed a few more things into a bag, then strapped the bag to their back.

     “Well I can’t exactly put it in a bag, now can I?!” Sun huffed, readjusting their hold on you, who very much did not want to be held.

     Moon thought for a moment while Sun continued to struggle.

     “Here. We’ll make use of the incorrectly sized cable you ordered after all,” Moon said, moving to a different desk. From underneath the desk they pulled out a long flexible spool of colorful cable.

     Sun wrestled you into cooperating while Moon fashioned a sort of harness around you, tied around your torso and shoulders with the long end of the cable tied in a knot at your back, where you couldn’t reach. Sun grabbed hold of the end of the cable, and just like that, you had been successfully tethered. The word ‘leash’ came to mind.

     Sun pulled on a bag, and quickly pulled you away from a table, where you were moments away from grabbing another makeshift projectile.

     “Is that everything?? You have our research backlog? Or records?” Sun asked.

     “It was the first thing I packed,” Moon assured. “If we have the time, we could run by the storage-“

     There was a frantic pounding at the door, and muffled yelling from the other side.

     “No time. We need to go,” Sun said.

     “Right.” Moon sighed. They cast one last look around the room, hesitating briefly, then hurried towards the other door.

     Sun followed, pulling you along with them. You attempted to resist, pulling at the cables and even flopping down onto the floor, but Sun pulled you along easily regardless. As all of you made your way out of the room and into a corridor, you reasoned you’d rather not be dragged, and reluctantly scrambled along behind Sun, quickly figuring out how walking was supposed to work.

     Everything was a blur. There were walls and doors and it was all so brightly lit compared to the room, it was all you could do to stumble along. You tried to shield your eyes with an arm, blocking out the visual input.

     All at once, the scenery changed. Without warning the air turned sharp and biting- cold. It was dark again, and the ground was no longer smooth. There weren’t any walls to bounce every little sound back and forth in an echoing cacophony of sensory overload, at least.

     You struggled to understand what you were seeing. There was meaning for these things around you, explanations, but your brain wasn’t finding the right answers fast enough.

     The ground was loose and soft and cold, though small bits were hard and pinched the bottoms of your feet as you stumbled along. Dirt.

     Moon and Sun navigated urgently through impressive pillars of something scratchy and hard. You brushed against one of these pillars as it flew towards you through the deep shadows around you, and winced as the speed of the collision scraped at your shoulder. Another word came to you. Wood.

     Beyond the shadows, beyond the shapes whirling past, beyond the sound of pursuers yelling behind you, was something vast. You looked up, and though it was partially obscured by a countless collection of small silhouetted objects, you could see that vastness expanding endlessly above you. It was full of dazzling lights.

     Stars.

     You tripped and flew forwards, crashing into the ground. Pain spiked through your hands and scraped along your arms and knees. You groaned as you struggled to get back up.

     “Oh, let me help-“ Sun said. They’d come to a halt instantly upon realizing you had fallen. Sun lifted you under the arms and waited for you to get your feet sorted out below you before they moved away. “Oh dear, is there any damage??”

     You squinted down at your limbs. Through the dark, you couldn’t be sure what was dirt and what was dried goop. Your palms and knees tingled unpleasantly.

     “HEY! GET BACK HERE!” someone hollered.

     Sun jumped. You both looked to see those pursuers rushing towards you, the head start you’d had wasted by the fall.

     “Oh no!” Sun turned and looked around in the direction they’d been running. Moon was nowhere to be seen, having left the two of you behind. “Oh no…”

     “Stop!! You’re being put in containment!” one of the pursuers yelled.

     Sun picked a direction and started running again.

     This time, you did your best to keep a better eye on where you were stepping, despite the entrancing beauty and the mesmerizing terror of the impossible cosmos hanging over you. Not only that, but it was so dark out, you could barely see five feet ahead of you. Without Sun's glowing rays casting a yellow glow over everything nearby, you doubted you'd be able to see your own hand in front of your face.

     Either the pursuers were slow or you and Sun were fast, or both. After a painfully long while of running, there were no sounds of pursuit behind you. There were also no traces of Moon to be seen anywhere either.

     You and Sun stopped to rest. Sun kept looking around and anxiously worrying the edges of their lab coat.

     “Oh… what should we do? Do we wait here? Try to find Moon? Try to find the shelter?” Sun muttered.

     You looked around. You didn’t particularly feel safe just sitting around out here. Maybe it was just the darkness. You couldn’t be sure who or what was out here with you. You stood back up and stared at Sun, hoping they would get the hint.

     “I suppose we can’t stay here… we might be found by the authorities,” Sun said. “Moon is smart. They’ll be able to find their way to the shelter. They’re probably already there.” Sun laughed lightly. “We should go there and join them. Or… wait for them.”

     Sun lead the way, now moving at a much more manageable pace. They kept looking behind them, checking on you, or for followers, or both.

     You kept glancing up at the stars. You could hardly look away. The sky was incredible. But… you couldn't help but feel like something was missing. You had no idea what.

     The two of you walked for a long time. Sun would hesitantly change directions slightly every now and then, weaving a worried and uncertain trail through the trees. Trees, that’s what these pillars were. You were in a forest.

     Finally, Sun stopped. You were concerned for a moment that Sun had at last realized you were hopelessly lost.

     “There it is!” Sun cried happily. They hurried forwards, leading you along behind them.

     The two of you approached a dome-like structure hiding at the edge of a clearing overgrown with grass tall enough to tickle your knees. Hexagonal shapes spaced evenly around the sides of the dome glowed with a friendly pale yellow light.

     The door lead to a small room, some kind of airlock. Once Sun and you were inside and the door was shut behind you, there was a hissing sound and a cold mist filled the small space. Then the mist dissipated and the door leading farther into the dome opened.

     Within the large singular room there appeared to be three distinct areas. The area by the door was wide open and the furniture appeared mostly for lounging, with chairs and small tables. The space in the back left looked to be for sleeping. There were several bunk cots and large storage containers and curtains hanging around the cots. The space in the back right was full of confusing equipment and machinery. There were shelves and counters and smaller containers.

     It all looked very clean and new, as if entirely untouched. Those hexagonal shapes allowed you to view the clearing and the woods outside, even though you remembered being unable to see in while you were outside.

     Sun let out a long sigh and dropped their bag by the door. They looked around. “…I guess Moon hasn’t made it here yet. They’ll probably show up any minute!”

     You looked to one of the windows. It was too dark out to see much, just the faint outline of the nearby trees. You pulled at the cables and stared at Sun.

     “Oh. Well…” Sun looked uncertain. “…Alright.” They went to the door first, tapping at the panel on the wall next to it. When it beeped, they turned back to you and carefully untied the knot at your back, loosening the cables enough for you to wriggle free.

     You stretched and rubbed at your skin where the cables had been digging into you all night. Then you finally got a good look at the rest of yourself. You were indeed covered in dirt and dry goop, which had left bright green spots of stickiness here and there. The dirt was dark, mostly purple in color. There was also something red staining your palms and knees.

     “Let’s get you cleaned up. Try not to touch anything for a moment,” Sun said.

     You got the sudden urge to climb over everything in sight just to frustrate Sun, but you were too tired to enact this plan. You plopped down onto the floor and waited while Sun rustled through their bag.

     “Okay, nothing super useful for cleaning in here,” Sun muttered. They went to the cots and shuffled through some of the storage boxes, eventually pulling out a small cloth. “Here we go!” Sun took the cloth to one of the confusing machines in the other back corner and produced a stream of water, which they used to soak the cloth. Finally, they returned to you and crouched down in front of you.

     You eyed Sun suspiciously, shrinking away.

     “Just hold still, alright?” Sun said, moving in with the cloth.

     You hissed and scooted farther away.

     Sun huffed. “I’m just trying to help!”

     You scooted even farther away, scowling at Sun.

     Sun looked at the cloth, then at you. They sighed heavily. “Look, you need to get clean, you’re absolutely filthy. If you won’t let me do it, at least do it yourself?” Sun held out the cloth.

     You eyed Sun and the cloth for a moment, thinking it over.

     Sun huffed. “What am I doing. Moon is right, you can’t understand me.”

     You frowned. You moved close enough to snatch the cloth from Sun, then backed away again.

     Sun stared at you. “…Can you understand me??”

     You weren’t sure how to reply in the affirmative. You still couldn’t speak, that was far too complex for you to figure out and you were too tired. Instead, you just started to scrub at your arms and legs, getting all the stuff off of you.

     Sun hummed and let you be to unpack some of the things in their bag, laying out papers and tools and small devices on the small tables.

     You finished cleaning yourself off. You dropped the stained cloth on the floor and got up to wander around and investigate.

     Most things in this space were smooth and hard. Some of the machines had interesting textures, and the walls felt somewhat grainy. The door was cold and would not open. You tried tapping at the panel by the door, like Sun had done, but you weren't able to make sense of the icons and symbols there. Moving on for now, you found the chairs were all soft, though not quite as soft as your hair. The cots, however, those were quite soft. You gasped happily and rubbed your hands along the squishy material. You pushed your arms and your face into the stuff, humming happily. You paused when Sun giggled.

     Sun had been watching you carefully the whole time, tapping away at some kind of small glowing device in their hands. You ignored Sun and eyed the cots. They were all equally as soft. You set your eyes on the top bunk. There were metal slats along the side of the bunk for convenient climbing, so you scurried up and climbed into the top cot, sprawling out onto the softness.

     It was so nice up there, higher up out of reach and surrounded by comfort. You felt your sore muscles relax. You sunk into the cot, moving your fingers in slow motions back and forth over the soft surface.

     You paused and stared suspiciously as Sun approached. You gripped the edge of the cot and hissed down at them.

     Sun held their hands up. “Easy! I just wanna show you something. See this pad here? If you tap it, it’ll turn the heater on.” Sun tapped a small glowing square set into the side of the cot. Sure enough, the softness suddenly began emitting heat. “See? Tap tap. Warm.”

     You gasped and sunk back down into the cot. You hadn’t even realized how cold you were. This was marvelous.

     “If you want, you can pull the curtain closed too. Like this,” Sun said, demonstrating by tugging on the curtain hanging from the ceiling.

     You pulled the curtain shut around the cot without hesitation. You heard Sun chuckle, then heard their footsteps padding away. You peeked out just to be sure. Sun had indeed gone back to the chairs and their papers.

     You curled up contentedly on the cot. You felt absolutely fantastic compared to the confusing chaos you’d been through earlier. This was bliss, it was joy and comfort and calm.

     You fell asleep within the minute.

[jikookiekosmos]

When I Dream of You || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, husband!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Jungkook always imagined being with you was like a dream come true, and after years of pining he can finally say it’s all he could have ever hoped for and more. But what happens now when Jungkook’s dreams about you no longer have a happy ending?

➥Genre: established relationship, (somewhat?) heavy angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~6.2k (little much for a drabble i know, sorry)

➥Content warnings: story mostly told from jungkook’s POV, jungkook has a nightmare, feelings of insecurity and anxiety, mentions of harassment (not much), yoongi to the rescue (seriously he’s the voice of reason i love him), making out, grinding, slight hair pulling, riding on top, reader is in control (and jk is happy about it), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around a year after the events of OFY. (I also mentioned this in the post for OFY but for those who haven’t read it, the Kun in the story isn’t referring to any other irl person specifically, it was just a name I chose to make the initial story easier to write.)

As always, thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for being so supportive of me and motivating me to keep writing when there are times I feel like I shouldn’t. And for also being my beta-reader and just generally an amazing person, one of the best friends I could ever ask for.

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait - ~6 months after OFY

Stay With Me - a few months after this dream drabble

I know this is the most angsty thing I’ve written so far (update: Stay With Me now holds this title), but I got attached to these characters and wanted to tell more of their story so here we are. I basically wrote this all in one sitting because I’ve had this idea in my head for a little while and I was excited to get it out. I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn​​

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Jungkook was dreaming again.

It was a dream he’d had many times now, and it always started the same way. He watched as you appeared in the doorway of the chapel, ready to make your trek down the aisle.

You looked dazzling in your dress, and through the thin veil that covered your face, Jungkook could see the brilliant smile you wore, which caused him to break out into one of his own. Each step that brought you closer to him made his heart race faster, and it didn’t take long for you to finally be in front of him.

Well…somewhat in front of him.

He could only watch as at the last second, you turned slightly and were now standing in front of Kun, the man you were originally meant to marry. Jungkook’s stomach twisted with fear as he observed Kun lift your veil over your head and take your hands in his as you both stared into each other’s eyes. You, looking at Kun with all the love in the world, because that’s just how you were. And Kun, looking back at you, with a sinister expression that made Jungkook feel dizzy.

He opened his mouth to object, to speak, to do something but no sound would come out. Everyone around him that had gathered to see you get married were either oblivious to Jungkook’s obvious distress, or they just didn’t care.

They weren’t here for him, after all. They were here for you, in the same way that he was here for you, too.

When his legs could finally move without crumpling underneath him, he walked over to stand next to you and Kun as he tried to reach out to you. He couldn’t touch you, though, because it was like there was an invisible wall in between the two of you now. A wall he could still see through but couldn’t reach past. He moved back at the realization, only to be met with something similar hitting his back.

Jungkook whirled around and was met with the same thing, now surrounding him on all sides, trapping him inside some sort of box. A box where he could still see what was happening but couldn’t stop it despite what he did. He felt suffocated.

He was shouting from inside his new prison, banging on the walls, trying to make any sort of sound that would reach you. And he knew you couldn’t hear him; you didn’t spare even one glance his way. But he still had to try. The longer he let this go on, the greater the chance of losing you grew to be.

And the possibility of that, of losing you in any capacity, was something he couldn’t bear to even think about.

Jungkook could hear everything coming from your mouth. The cheerfulness in your voice was usually something he loved to hear under any given circumstance. But in this case, it was threatening to tear him apart. He listened dismally as the two of you started reciting your vows to each other.

And his heart started to break when he heard the words from the letter he’d tried to give you all those years ago. Tears were forming in his vision as he listened to Kun rattle off the words he’d written for you. Words he never got to claim as his own until much later, when it was almost too late.

He could feel his heart shatter at the sight of the breathtaking smile on your face as you two finished your vows, moving now to kiss each other and seal the deal.

He tried once more to call out to you, but any sound he could’ve possibly made would’ve been immediately drowned out by the cheering from everyone around you.

His legs gave out as he knelt down to the floor, helplessly staring at you as you linked your arm with Kun’s to walk back down the aisle as a newly married couple. It took the last bit of his strength to look up as you passed, and you didn’t notice him.

But Kun did.

Kun paused in front of Jungkook, still separated by that invisible wall, and he grinned. It was the kind of grin you’d expect from someone who’s sole purpose in life was to sabotage others’ happiness. Which, ironically enough, is exactly what Kun was now known for.

All Jungkook could do was look on while you left the chapel, followed by the many guests who had gathered for the ceremony. Only when everyone was gone was he able to move about freely, but he opted to remain seated on the floor there instead as the chapel slowly started to fill with darkness once the doors closed.

Jungkook awoke with a start, bolting upright and inhaling a sharp intake of air. He was covered in sweat that dampened his hair and made it stick to his forehead. His breathing was shallow, and it took him a few seconds to remember where he was.

He was at home, in his bed. It was nighttime and sleeping next to him was a figure who’d remained undisturbed by his sudden movement.

He cautiously looked over at your sleeping form. You were turned on your side, facing away from him, breathing peacefully. His eyes softened at the sight and he could feel his heartbeat start to slow down into a pace much less frantic.

He pushed his hair out of his face as he took a deep breath. He knew he should probably wake you, especially since you always told him to do so whenever he had nightmares. Lately, he hadn’t been having any bad dreams, so it had been a while since he last had to rouse you from your slumber.

He reached an arm out, only for it to gently fall by his side. He hated waking you unless it was really important, because he knew you sometimes had trouble sleeping, and this included falling back asleep if something made you wake up during the middle of the night. You’d been especially exhausted lately, what with the new exciting event that had suddenly happened in both of your lives.

Well, exciting wasn’t really the right word. Terrifying fit way better.

After managing to avoid Kun for over an entire year, he somehow turned up at your new place of employment one day, surprising you and frightening you all at the same time. He told the staff at the front desk that he was an ‘old friend, here to congratulate you on your new position.’ And they believed it, so they let him come up to your office unsupervised.

Let’s just say when Jungkook heard about that little ordeal, he was not pleased at all.

Ever since then, Kun had been borderline harassing you, even sometimes going as far as to try and talk to Jungkook during his shifts at the bar. That lasted for all of maybe 2 encounters before Kun found himself banned and unable to return.

You both thought he was out of your life for good after the break-up, but he was proving to be much more of a plague than you or Jungkook initially imagined. So yes, these recent events had maybe been causing Jungkook to have intrusive thoughts once again that translated themselves into the one recurring nightmare he used to have shortly after the two of you got together.

The nightmare of him losing you. You obviously didn’t end up marrying Kun, but you came a lot closer to it than Jungkook liked. And that wasn’t because he’d been pining after you for years; he could’ve dealt with that, if it ended with you being happy. It was more so the reason that your relationship with Kun hadn’t seemed genuine on his end, and Jungkook wanted better for you than that.

Sometimes he wondered if he was the right one to give you what you deserved.

He shook his head to keep more thoughts from seeping in, but he knew sitting here alone in the dark wouldn’t help with that for long. He glanced at the time on his phone. It was 2:08 A.M., so not too late, but most people were usually sleeping at that time.

Nonetheless, Jungkook pulled back the covers and swung his feet over the side of the bed to stand up. He moved as gently as possibly to not risk waking you, but on his way to the bathroom he had to pass by your side of the bed.

Your sleeping face was free of worry, and your lips were slightly parted as you were breathing softly. The sight made Jungkook’s heart thump. He couldn’t help himself when he leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.

If you woke up, he’d just tell you he had to use the restroom and try to coax you back to sleep. You looked too cute for him not to kiss you, though, so he deduced it was worth the risk.

He padded off to the bathroom then, only wearing a pair of gym shorts. Every step he took was calculated so he didn’t make much noise, and when he finally made it to the bathroom, he closed the door as quietly as possible, listening to the faint click before he leaned against the sink.

He sighed and fished his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his contacts until he found the name he was looking for. After dialing the number, he put the phone to his ear, and within 2 rings someone picked up.

“Kook? You ok?”

Jungkook smiled. “Yeah, Yoongs, I’m ok. Just needed to talk to someone, that’s all.”

He heard shuffling from the end of the line and he felt a small pang of guilt at the fact that he may have woken his friend up. But then again, it was Yoongi, and he wasn’t a stranger to being up at this hour.

Yoongi hummed. “Y/N not awake then, huh?”

Jungkook shook his head, despite Yoongi not being able to see him. Yoongi took his silence as confirmation.

“Hm, well you do know I love talking to you, but I am wondering why this time of night?”

Jungkook sighed. Better to get it over with than beat around the bush. “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh no,” he could hear the somberness of Yoongi’s tone. “Is it the same one, or…”

“Same one,” Jungkook answered without hesitation.

“Kook, we’ve been over this-”

“I know,” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “I know. Trust me, I don’t want to keep having this happen either.”

“Can you think of anything that may have triggered it?”

Jungkook tongued his cheek then. The more he thought about it, the only thing he could see as being a potential trigger for these dreams to come flooding back would be Kun’s unwanted reappearance.

While he was still thinking, Yoongi continued.

“Do you think it has anything to do with that asshole showing up again?”

Jungkook smirked. He knew how much disdain Yoongi had for Kun, and for good reason.

“Yeah, it’s exactly that, I’m almost positive.”

It sounded like Yoongi was moving again and Jungkook could just picture him now, sitting up and shaking his head in disappointment, not at Jungkook, but at the situation.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna level with you.”

Jungkook gulped.

“I honestly have no idea why you’re letting someone like that affect you. He’s not worth your time, he’s not worth Y/N’s time, not worth anyone’s time if you ask me. Letting him continue to have this kind of effect on you isn’t healthy.”

Jungkook sighed again, his breath coming out somewhat shaky. “I know, it’s just…it’s hard. It’s really hard, Yoongs. I can’t help but think of how close I came to losing her and fuck it hurts every time I think about it.”

“First of all, you wouldn’t have lost her, and you know that-”

“Yeah but seeing him is a reminder that I came close.”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi’s tone was stern now, and Jungkook immediately stopped talking.

Yoongi took a deep breath. “Like I was saying, you wouldn’t have lost her. You mean too much to her and she means too much to you for either of you to have let that happen. Give her a little more credit, yeah?”

At the mention of you, Jungkook’s lips curved upwards into a smile. He knows you’d never allow anything to take you away from him, outside of maybe some things beyond both of your control. But you certainly would never let someone come in between the friendship you both shared.

A friendship that had developed over several years and had now blossomed into a beautiful, loving partnership.

There it was again: you. Anytime Jungkook thought about you, it always made him happy. He was so in love with you and had been for so many years, so it was sometimes still surreal to him that you two were together now. Your smiling face was all he needed to get him through some days.

But right now the vision of you playing out in his head was the sight of you the night he found you in your house kneeling on the floor after Kun broke your marriage off. You looked so utterly broken, and Jungkook made a promise to himself then and there that he’d do anything in his power to make it so you never felt that way again.

“Kook? You still with me there?”

Yoongi’s voice roused Jungkook out of his thoughts. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Good. You know I worry about you, kid.”

Jungkook smiled. “I know.”

“This is the first time you’ve had this dream in a while, right?”

Jungkook leaned against the sink again, looking at the tiled floor underneath his feet. “Yeah, it’s been months.”

“Then I want you to do something for me, ok?”

Confused, but intrigued, Jungkook shook his head. “Yeah, sure.”

“I want you to take a look at your left hand.”

Jungkook did as he was told, splaying his fingers out in front of him.

“Now tell me what you see?”

Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at his gold wedding band as it glistened faintly in the light of the room.

“My wedding ring,” he answered softly.

“Exactly. Your wedding ring. It belongs to you. And it means you’re the one who’s married to her. Not him, not anyone else, but you.”

Jungkook could see exactly where Yoongi was going with this, and the thought made him almost tear up. Yoongi knew exactly what to say and when to say it whenever Jungkook needed reassurance about something, and this was one of those times.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna tell you this, and it’s something I want you to remember. Y/N loves you. She loves you so much. My God, sometimes it’s hard to look at you two because you’re always so lovey dovey like-”

Jungkook laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

He could imagine Yoongi smiling on the other end. “Good. I think as long as you remember that, you’ll be ok. It’d probably still help to talk to her, though. You know how upset she’d be if she knew you were suffering in silence about your dreams again.”

Jungkook shakily inhaled, his grip on the sink behind him tightening. “I know. I’ll talk to her, probably in the morning since she’s still asleep-”

Jungkook cut himself off when he heard the soft sound of you calling his name. “Yoongs, I gotta go, thank you for answering and for everything else.”

Yoongi chuckled. “Anytime. Night, Kook.”

Jungkook hung up the phone and peered from behind the bathroom door. He saw you sitting up in the bed now, rubbing your eyes before you stretched. He was so fond of you, the sight made his heart swell.

He also noticed how the t-shirt you were wearing had ridden up some during your stretch and he could see the exposed skin of your thighs now now. He even thought that something as simple as you wearing a t-shirt was breathtaking. And when it was one of his t-shirts, like it was now – on some days it was enough to drive him crazy.

Now wasn’t the time for that though. He watched lovingly as you focused your eyes on him and smiled. He wasted no time getting back in the bed with you, seated with one leg crossed under him, his hand coming down to rest on top of your own.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a lazy kiss. Jungkook melted into the kiss when you deepened it, because after everything he just went through, any touch from you now was igniting all his feelings for you.

All of them, which is why he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, nuzzling his nose against yours before pulling away to look at you. He could tell you were still sleepy, but you wouldn’t attempt to go back to sleep without talking first. Especially since he knew you could tell something might be off.

Your brows furrowed. “Koo? What’s wrong?”

Jungkook took a deep breath, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I had another nightmare.”

The immediate look of concern on your face made his heart lurch, and not in a pleasant way. “Baby, what happened?”

He brought up your hand to place a kiss on your knuckles, right above your ring.

“I had that nightmare. You know the one…”

You frowned. “Jungkook-”

“But it’s ok, really. I talked to Yoongi and I feel a little better.” He was looking anywhere but your face now, so you placed a hand under his chin, tilting it up so he’d look at you.

“You know you can always wake me up and talk to me.” You brushed your thumb across one of his cheekbones and he sighed into the touch.

“I know. You’ve been having trouble sleeping lately so I-”

“You also know that if I have trouble sleeping, usually cuddling with you helps. So please don’t use that as an excuse.”

Jungkook felt guilty again because he knew you were right. Before he came along, sleeping wasn’t always easy for you, but in the comfort of his arms, you found slumber much faster these days.

You took Jungkook’s face in both of your hands, your own chest twisting with pain at the sight of him. His big, doe-like eyes were shining with so much emotion, and all you wanted to do was take away all his worries.

“Do you know why you had that dream again?”

Jungkook nodded, absentmindedly brushing his thumb along your thigh. “Everything that’s happened with Kun lately, it- I don’t know, it just bothers me. It bothers me way more than it should. And I guess it just made me think again about- well, you know.”

Jungkook’s head hung then, and you leaned down so you could look into his eyes once more. He brought his head up to keep you from having to lean uncomfortably like that for too long.

“Koo,” you brushed a piece of his long, dark curly locks out of his face. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I know that things happened in the past that we can’t erase or change, but what we can do is focus on our future. Our future that we’re building together.”

He started to smile at your words, his heart lurching again now, but in a good way this time. Every time you told him you were in love with him, he felt like he could conquer the world.

“So please don’t worry about what almost happened or what could’ve been, because what matters is we’re here now. We’re here together. And I don’t plan on going anywhere,” you placed a quick peck on his lips, “Unless you want me to, that is.”

Jungkook quickly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you so you were straddling his lap, making you giggle as you tried to steady yourself. His hands rested comfortably against your waist and you placed yours on his shoulders. He looked up at you now with so much love and adoration.

“Never. I’m not planning on ever letting you go,” he accentuated his words with his grip around you by wrapping his arms more tightly around your waist to pull you closer to his chest. “Not until the day you decide you don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Well I don’t see that ever happening, so I guess we have nothing to worry about then, do we?” You booped his nose and he grinned, placing a hand on the back of your head to bring your lips down to meet his once more. The kiss was soft, yet passionate.

And it quickly turned into something more.

You deepened the kiss and Jungkook groaned into it, kissing you back now with a fervor that had you unconsciously moving your hips against him. He broke the kiss to lean his head back against the headboard, eyes shut and mouth parted.

“Fuck,” Jungkook panted. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Y/N. And right now,” he opened his eyes to stare at you again, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

His hand snaked underneath your t-shirt to brush at the skin he found there, pulling your head back down for another kiss.

“I want to show you how much I love you,” he whispered against your lips. “Will you let me?”

The sound of his voice shot straight to your core, and you were nodding before he could even finish his question. He chuckled against your lips before he started trailing them down your neck.

“Need to hear you say it, baby,” he spoke as his lips ghosted over your throat, his hold on you tightening.

“Please,” you breathed out, pulling at his dark tresses and making him grunt. “Please, Koo. I want you to make love to me.”

That was all he needed. Jungkook started placing kisses along your neck and down to your collarbone that was exposed from the collar of his shirt, his fists clenching around the material at the bottom of it.

“I love you,” he kept saying in between kisses. “Gonna take care of you.”

He started tugging your shirt up and you met him halfway, ridding yourself of the garment fast enough that it made him chuckle at your eagerness. He started peppering kisses all over your chest, kneading at your breasts, rolling your nipples in between your fingers and making your hips move faster.

You could feel him growing harder underneath you through the thin fabric of the shorts he was still wearing, so you sped up your movements, making him moan.

“These need to come off, don’t you think, baby?” You tugged at his shorts. Another moan came from Jungkook as he nodded, helping you move up so he could shimmy out of his shorts. He still didn’t think he could ever get used to that pet name coming from you, and he thought it was the sexiest thing ever when it fell from your lips.

Of course, Jungkook thought nearly everything you did was sexy. That was just the effect you had on him. Everything intimate was intense in the best way possible, and if this was what being in love felt like, he never wanted to stop being in love with you.

He loved you. He needed you. He wanted to be with you for the rest of his life. And he’d never felt this way about anyone else for.

He felt all of these things for you. Only for you.

Jungkook was pulled out of his thoughts of how much he loved you by the feeling of you grinding down onto him again, this time the only barrier of clothing between the two of you being your own panties.

Yeah, Jungkook wasn’t having that.

He made quick work of removing your soaked panties, laughing again at your enthusiastic impatience. He loved seeing that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

“Be careful, angel,” He cooed at you as you tried to steady yourself on his lap once more. He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs while you huffed, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

“Just wanna feel you already,” you said breathily, and the sound of your voice mixed with the words that fell from your mouth made him twitch. He knew he probably wouldn’t last long inside of you, and with the way you were already worked up, he figured you might not either.

But tonight wasn’t one of those nights where he planned on going for hours anyway (even though you both definitely could at times and boy did he love it when that happened). No, tonight was about him proving to you how much he loved you, telling you through his words and soft caresses and the way he took care of you.

And you did the same for him. Jungkook had never had anyone care about him before the way that you do. He knew you’d do anything to ensure his happiness, the same as he would for you.

And that’s also why he thought you were destined to be together. And he hoped he would never fuck that up, that anything would ever fuck that up.

Jungkook heard you whine from your place in his lap, still grinding against him to find some much-needed friction. You felt so good on top of him that he let himself enjoy it for a few moments, soft moans escaping his lips as he watched you through half-lidded eyes. You leaned down to give him another kiss, and in the same movement, he picked you up by your thighs under your ass and placed you back down where his tip was at your entrance.

He grunted against your lips as he felt you sink down onto him, waiting for you to accommodate to the stretch as you’d done many times before. You always told him you could handle it and sometimes you wanted him to be a little rougher with you from the get-go. Jungkook wasn’t at that level where he was comfortable with that yet.

But one day, he thought, especially with how good you feel around him, he just might be.

When he was finally completely inside of you, he waited just enjoying the feel of your warmth around his length. He brushed some hair out of your face, noticing how your eyes were glinting in the faint light of the room.

God, he could never get enough of staring into your eyes. He’d happily get lost in them over and over again.

Now, though, they were starting to close as you picked yourself only to drop down again a moment later. The action caused Jungkook to let out a throaty moan, eyes fluttering closed at the motion.

Hm. That was new.

Usually, Jungkook would guide you with his hands on your hips, and it wasn’t that he didn’t let you have control, it was more that you never really wanted to take control. So, seeing you decide to do it now was exciting and something he’d gladly let happen if that’s what you wanted.

To be sure though, he placed his hands on your waist. You placed yours on top of his and shook your head.

“Let me take the lead,” you said as you pushed his chest to where he was lying down more. “You can keep your hands here, but I want to do the work.”

Jungkook frowned, only because he knew you still had to be tired. “Angel, are you sure? I can help- fuck.”

You cut him off as you clenched around him before you started moving again, his hands constricting around your waist. You placed your hands firmly on your chest to help you get more leverage as you continued moving.

As you sped up, Jungkook leaned his head back into the pillow he was lying on, eyes screwed shut and the prettiest sounds falling from his lips. You watched as the muscles in his neck strained with the movement, and that alone made you want to mark him up.

But now wasn’t the time for that.

Jungkook managed to open his eyes and look at you riding him, the sight making him twitch inside of you. He thought you looked so beautiful like this, and you taking the lead was so hot to him, he knew he’d definitely not last long if you kept this up-

“Do you know,” you broke off to moan as his cock hit a spot inside of you that made your breath hitch, “do you know why I wanted to take control tonight?”

Jungkook swallowed and shook his head, rubbing his hands along your waist.

You smiled at him lovingly, taking one of his hands and bringing it to your lips before linking your fingers. The action made his heart soar.

“It’s because you always take such good care of me. I want to take care of you in that same way,” you squeezed his hand, letting your words wash over him.

“But you do take care of me,” he started to say, only to be interrupted by the feeling of your walls clenching around him again.

“I know. But tonight, I want to show you I know how to take care of you in this way, too. I want to show you how much I love you.” You leaned down, hitting a new angle that had both of you moaning as you brushed your lips against his. “Will you let me?”

Jungkook felt himself getting closer as you repeated his words from earlier. He nodded vigorously, kissing you with so much passion that you thought you might topple over. You sat up straight again and started moving faster, now pulling out as much as possible before dropping back down.

Jungkook’s high was approaching fast because of the combination of you taking control, the way you were riding him, and your words. He was feeling so many things at once and he tried to will himself to not let go.

He didn’t want to let go yet, not until you were there with him.

To help you along, he reached down in between both of you and started rubbing your clit, relishing in the feel of you around him as you stuttered in your movements. He smirked, knowing that even when you were in control, he still had an effect on you the same way you did him.

“Come on, angel, I’m right there, I want you to cum with me.” Jungkook’s voice was husky now, the pleasure threatening to overtake him any second. He bit his lip as he stared at you, watching as your head lolled forward on your neck and you started shaking from the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body.

“I’m almost there, Koo, I love you so much,” your sounds were increasing in pitch and becoming more frequent, so he knew you were close. All that was left now was for you to reach your high together.

He took your hand that was still intertwined with his and placed a kiss on the inside of your wrist. “I love you, too,” he said softly.

His response was enough to finally provoke your orgasm, it being so powerful that you fell forward on top of him. As you did, you were clenching so tight around him that his release wasn’t far behind. He grunted as he placed his head in the crook of your neck, filling you up, the familiar sensation of warmth making you shiver in his hold.

Both of you were trying to catch your breath, you now completely laying on his chest and his arms snaked around you. He placed a kiss on top of your head and you both just laid there for a few moments.

Jungkook was the one to break the silence. “Well, that was certainly something.”

You giggled. “Yeah, I enjoyed that, Don’t know why I haven’t done that before.” You felt his chest rumble with laughter underneath you.

“Me neither, but you can absolutely do it more often. I know I won’t be opposed.”

“Deal,” you said as you leaned up to place a kiss on his nose. “But only under one condition.”

“Oh?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, intrigued at your proposition.

“You,” you said as you traced patterns on his chest, “need to stop being so cautious with me.”

A tiny frown etched itself onto his features. “Angel-”

“I mean it, Jungkook. I’m not some fragile thing that’s going to break anytime you stick your dick in me.” He couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from him, immediately apologizing afterwards because he knew you were being serious.

“I know you’re not, I just- I never want to hurt you.”

“And I’d let you know if you did. So promise me you’ll at least try to treat me a little less like I’m gonna break under your touch?”

He ran his fingers through your hair as you laid your head on his chest again. “I promise to try. I don’t just do it for you, though.”

You brought your head back up to look at him, quirking your own eyebrow. “Oh? What do you mean?”

He chuckled darkly, his stare alone making you throb. “I also do it so I can maintain some self-control.”

You laughed. “What’s so bad about losing control?”

He smirked. “Nothing, I guess. We’ll have to see though, won’t we?”

The suggestion made you tingle with desire, but you were unfortunately too tired to go again, so you figured it’d be best to leave it alone for the night. Jungkook finally pulled out of you, making you let out a small whine at the loss. Before you could say anything, he picked you up and carried you with him to the shower, as he did most nights when you two shared these intimate moments.

In the shower, he helped you clean off, and as he was washing your hair, you stared up at him, seeing his dark locks falling into his face with the weight of the water that drenched them. His lips were parted and his tongue was slightly sticking out as he concentrated on making sure he lathered every inch of your hair with shampoo. He looked so adorable like this that you couldn’t help but giggle.

You ran your hands along his chest now to help him wash off the soap, and your ring caught the light, glimmering faintly. Jungkook picked up your hand and turned it this way and that to watch the ring shine from different angles, before he linked your fingers together.

“I told you I’d get you a better one, didn’t I?” You rolled your eyes in amusement at the cocky smirk that tugged at his lips.

“You didn’t just tell me, you promised me.” You continued washing all the suds off of him as he wrapped his arms around you to bring you closer.

“And did I follow through on my promise?”

You pretended to think about it for a second, making Jungkook tickle you under the shower’s waterfall. “Ok! Ok! Yes, you did,” you said as you laughed. “You always follow through on your promises.”

“I try,” was his soft response. He nudged your cheek with his nose, which is something he did when he wanted a kiss, a habit you were very quick to pick up on in the early stages of your relationship. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood up on your tiptoes, placing a gentle kiss on his lips that had him letting out a small sound of contentment.

“I love you. And I’m in love with you. Nothing, nor anyone, will change that.” You reassured him as you pushed his hair out of his face. Any doubts he still had you wanted to erase them all.

You wanted him to know that you loved him with everything you had.

He smiled, brushing his nose against yours. “I know. And I love you more than anything. All the love I have to give is for you.” He placed another soft kiss on your lips before he pulled back to quietly add, “Only for you.”

Those three words meant so much to you, and every time you heard him say them it made you fall for him even more, if that was possible. The two of you continued to hold each other and exchange lazy kisses until the water turned too cold to bear. After drying off, you both snuggled back into bed, with you falling asleep almost instantly, feeling safe in Jungkook’s arms.

He kissed the back of your neck and wrapped his arms around you securely, resting his forehead against your shoulder as you both laid on your sides. Your soft breathing let him know you were already asleep and he smiled, elated that he could provide you the comfort you needed to help you fall into peaceful slumber once more.

When Jungkook inevitably followed behind you, he was met with nothing but pleasant dreams, and all of them were about you.