#just dumping my thoughts

[stuckasmain]

Look if I had to deal with Mrs. Hall I too would go insane, was he a bit of an ass? Yes but

“For the love of god woman leave me alone im three seconds from going absolute bananas let me do what I need to do and I’ll leave.”

He was honest! I’m just saying—

None of this movie would’ve happened if people didn’t keep sticking their nose in his business. Yes his sanity is slipping- but he didn’t start going “you know what fuck y’all,” and start his rampage until everyone started poking the bear. He would’ve just obsessively worked on the antidote for all we know.

It’s one of those “society and hysteria make the monster their so afraid of” situations. I’m not saying he’s completely absolved of his issues as he was meddling with things he should’ve to begin with but there’s definitely a “overreaction is what made the problem”

[iocainesmoothie]

Been playing ffxiv, paid to skip HW but really enjoyed stormblood, saw emet-selch for the first time.

I'm very impressed that his first introduction to the player was to be shot and rag dolled down the stairs, it immediately differentiates him from the other ascians who just say ominous and vague nonsense that never amounts to anything. It was almost more sinister, because it really illustrates the point that the ascians are noncorporeal horrors piloting a meat puppet.

Also very minor detail but I noticed even back in stormblood, instead of writing a boring talk quest as "go talk to so-and-so", instead they say "go meet SOMEONE at such-and-such place". Like it's so very minor, but instead of straight up telling me who you're going to meet they just sorta hint and say how excited that person is to see you again.

Mechanically it's the exact same boring quest format, and maybe I don't otherwise even care about that character, but even that tiny bit of speculating who it is and the implication that they have any kind of emotional response AT ALL is already elevating the writing.

I get the majority of quest text boils down to telling the player to go to X or talk to Y or collect Z and there's only so many ways to do that, and clarity of communication is always top priority, but in something long format like an mmo where the player has likely plugged in a hundred hours already you can kinda assume they've been trained to expect a certain order of events and can play with the format a bit.

Also the last duty of sb was one of those "everyone shows up at the big battle as npcs and cheers at you to go on to the big boss while they hold back reinforcements" fights and it's very anime but honestly it always works on me.

Been leveling up dark knight, but I bought the level 80 warrior boost because I hate playing with other people and I wanted to solo a bunch of the main scenario raids instead of queueing. Also I'm playing dark knight because aesthetics, and tanking for a group is too much responsibility for me.

Honestly dk kinda sucks compared to paladin and warrior, way less mitigation and self healing, and though it feels like I'm doing more damage it's still not as much as a pure dps.

Also bought a bunch of clothes on the shop in a moment of weakness, but now my outfit is so cool I don't want to change into anything else! And I kinda miss wearing vanilla gear and seeing your outfit change as you pick up upgrades. Oh well atleast I'm cute and it avoids those awkward moments when a piece from a new set doesn't fit with your current fit.

Ffxiv clothing designs are so gorgeous, even the shitty low-level vanilla garbage is kinda cute. Ppl who buy store stuff obviously look good but I have way more respect for the glamours I see where people just got really creative with in-game items. The graphics are like 10 years out of date but the hair and clothes and faces are still miles better than some of biowares stuff (guys I love you I'm on your side let's figure this out you can't just make everyone bald)

Also I've noticed the cuts scene cameras do a trick anime does a lot to cut down animation costs, the framing and panning and angles do a LOT of the work when they otherwise can't get these limited models to emote that much. Or else they just fully cut away and let a sound effect imply an action took place and your brain just fills in the difference.

Anyway I'm addicted and am probably wasting a lot of time on things I should be doing instead but it's nice to have something to hyper fixate on for a while, and I haven't even started SB or EW and I've heard they're both life changing so maybe I'll just glut myself until I've wrung all the dopamine I can out of it.

Also I've realized there is such a jump in writing quality in SB that I'm only really emotionally attached to lyse and hien and the general, the rest of the scions are all kind of... idk unlikable?? They're all the same kind of snarky but not really funny, and speak intelligently but not really with any character or having much to say. Allisae being maybe the exception but I feel like she doesn't get much screen time compared to her brother.

It was very touching that she's the tough prickly one, but very honestly tells you she feels alone and sadly asks you not to leave her in a moment of vulnerability before the fight where she reaches for your hand desperately before her soul is teleported away. Like damn yeah this is manipulative but you got me! I'm invested now!

Also that little crystal cat boy was in arr and I never finished/paid attention to his quest line so idk how he ended up i SB, guess I'll find out.

[saturns-ringg]

something I think I'm dumb. I might be. I write things and they don't make sense- or sometimes I don't understand things. I'm sorry if sometimes my posts are written funky/don't make sense sometimes.

[unfunny-ness]

Dude it both sucks and at the same time it doesnt to have been spoiled that shingetsu is actually lying to yuma during the first parts of Zexal II, because I always get bothered and uncomfortable when says anything kinda suspicious and yuma doesn't even notice because I know what he's doing to yuma but I guess in a way it adds to the experience of watching it all unfold especially now after watching their duel against girag still pissed that they beat up alito tho he didn't deserve that. Also Number C39: Utopia ray v was really fucking cool especially for yuma's first rank up xyz summon.

[minnieposting]

talking about ocd, hyperfixations, and loving vocaloid

minnie journal entry style post again, except this ones SUPER long lol.

a few nights ago i had a Moment of Weakness . it mightve been a withdrawal thing but i was not at my best lol, i just became really upset out of nowhere?? i was listening to some teto synthv stuff and kinda just Reminiscing on my vocaloid days ... i find myself doing that pretty frequently lately but since im not rlly hyperfixating on anything rn, vocaloid pretty much becomes my default. but im getting ahead of myself.

i get weird about my hyperfixations. when one starts slipping away it used to be so genuinely painful like i felt it so physically i would get so depressed whenever i felt hyperfixations start to slowly fade. i was always like that, but it was different with vocaloid.

 i will never be able to really describe HOW much vocaloid means to me but its litreally part of my soul. its ME. like i was sitting here trying to do exactly what i said i couldnt and guess what, i couldnt really describe it. i was really REALLY hyperfixated on it for 8 whole years straight, elementary school up to when i was around 15?  thats when my ungodly uncharted 4 hyperfixation came eating my ass .... and i remember the only reason it stopped was bc i felt too guilty abt leaving vocaloid behind I KNOW U CANT CONTROL HYPERFIXATIONS BUT MINE LITREALLY JUST STOPPED. after a specififc day of intense guilt lmfao

but yeah. guilt. whenever i leave behind a hyperfixation, i just feel SO guilty, and i dont really know why. i always feel this need to “prove” to myself that i still love a character, they still make me as happy as they used to, and i feel weird and bad if im not getting into smth as obsessively or if im not “consuming it the correct way”. i feel like im not rlly explaining this thing well but ocd is just a nighhttttmare , it bleeds into everything and lately its been bleeding into my interests and my creativity x1000. and im just really sad about that because i feel like i wont ever be that same person again, bc im just too hyperaware BC of my ocd and i just find myself ruminating a lot. though this usually starts to become Active in my head when my hyperfixation is actually starting to go away ... lol. when im balls deep into smth i will be way too obsessed to be in my head like that!

but. all this just being context lol... i was listening to teto synthv stuff and just. i dont even remember what caused me to start getting so upset but i just started reminiscing and getting in my own head about all this. how i dont like vocaloid as much anymore and wondering if ill ever be as happy as i was back then. i hate being an adult bc being an adult means being more Aware and being aware means ocd bothering me and just. idk. I was thinking about everything. Typical rumination spiral. just started getting really sad and upset bc i was just stuck in my thoughts and thinking about how younger me would be disappointed in my current self

it didnt last very long at least, and i ended up listening to re:ng and pinnochiop. but the songs that i clicked actually ,,,,,, helped me so much. one of the songs i clicked was rainy snowdrop by re:ng, and i found myself resonating so deeply with the lyrics. like im actually a bit emotional rn typing bc i went to go look at the lyrics again and im listening to the song rn. it really picked me up and made me feel ok again. then because youre here by pinnochiop played. and just. FUCK BOTH OF THESE SONGS ARE JUST EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR IN THAT MOMENT. it reminded me that itll be okay. simple as that.

and. im only writing abt what happened a few nights ago because while i was playing future tone earlier, it just hit me. ive always been saying that vocaloid makes me feel like myself. but then i started thinking about what exactly that means. and im actually thinking about it now while i write. its like home to me. vocaloid is where ill always go to, where ill always be. i grew up with it. its never not been with me. and no matter where i end up, itll follow me and itll be okay. ocd likes to make me ruminate about the past present and future but one thing that i know for sure is that vocaloid will always be there for me. i see it in a way where its me and my kid self. and i value my inner child so much. which is a bit ironic to me, bc of the way i treat myself...

idk. vocaloid is just really grounding in general. whenever i spiral or need to be pulled back down to earth, its there, and itll always help. its just nice to have this forever thing that i love so much

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[ato-dato]

I don’t think they’re ugly. But I think the number of times Jean has begged him to buy new clothes is astronomical.

[paintedcrows]

Assorted Gravity Falls doodles!

[collophora]

Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness

(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)

[bunnieswithknives]

erm can we see more deer dale he's so silly

Deer Dale!!! Now with full antler face like I initially intended but could not figure out how to draw at the time

[atrophiedemotion]

i love seeing people talk more openly about viewing ivantill as potentially mutual/reciprocated because iii fully agree. honestly it just makes sense to me as a solid yet gut wrenching narrative choice to make. vivinos wanted to make sure there was enough of a contrast between mizisua and ivantill’s relationships, and i think that would parallel them quite nicely.

both couples plagued with miscommunication that ended up being their downfall. mizisua being openly loving together whilst sua purposefully keeps mizi ignorant of the truth, and ivantill lacking any and all communication to the point where they exist completely separated despite their innate closeness.

the truth only coming out in the aftermath of the events of alien stage. mizi finding out the truth that sua hid from her once she dies, and perhaps starting to resent her in a way for lying while still loving her. till only fully realizing the depth of ivan’s feelings for him when he dies, and perhaps starting to come to terms with the love he has for ivan whilst in part hating him for sacrificing himself.

‘hatred is easier than a word as vague as love.’

there’s a reason the quote from the official merch applies equally to both mizisua and ivantill. their situations are twisted and tragic, and love and hate exist simultaneously in both of their relationships.

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

College thoughts with the Nekoma 2nd years

[toothlespoggers]

U don’t understand. He’s a Nindroid. He has a soul. He has ice powers. He’s TRAUMATISED. He does not value his own life. He is borderline suicidal. He is SOFT. And he loves people too much. But OUgh he’s actually a little fucked up even tho he’s calm and calculated Caus he toucheda forbidden stick and it made voices in his head and then he was like a genocidal murderer for like 60 years and he had no memory of anything and then he was dragged out of that situation and nobody even asked if he was ok and he never questioned that because he’s lived his whole life with the expectation that he’s fine and he’s got everything under control and he doesn’t even know what mental health awareness is because no one ever talked to him about it because no one ever asked if he was okay, not physically but mentally. Because even if people cared no one ever thought he was not okay, and so Zane never thought he was not okay so he’s lived his life for probably a hundred years or so by now, always moving forward and never addressing his problems or traumas or demons, which is DESTROYING HIM, from the inside out. He has absolutely NO SELF WORTH. His entire existence is based around his role as a ninja, he has been trained from when he was a “teenager” that his worth is based around his ability to preform, that the most important thing is to save lives and the world and stuff. Which it is but like he’s never been allowed to do anything else and on the rare occasions he and his friends relax they immediately get scolded and told to keep fighting. He’s never had a sick day. He literally sacrificed himself to save the world. He rebuilt himself, and immediately the next opportunity he gets, he sacrifices himself again, and he tries to do that over and over and over again because that’s his job he states that he is expendable! He says that multiple times. He always volunteers to take the hits because his view on his humanity his person hood is so WARPED, that he believes he has less value than a human. That he is a TOOL. To be used by those around him because people sure, they’ve treated him with kindness on many levels but it’s kind of shallow when they never care enough to prevent him from getting hurt, they use him, he almost dies, they fix him and then put him back into the line of fire. His entire worldview is based on fighting.

The only person. Who has ever asked if he is okay and treated him like a human being. Is a STUPID GOSH I LOVE HIM BUT JES SO DUMB. FROG MAN and Zane is SO NOT USED TO IT that he has to repeatedly inform. This man. That he is in fact. A robot. Because he expects that to change the way people interact with him. He’s a machine, he doesn’t need a break, he’s built to serve a purpose. But frog man, does not listen.

Frog man is kind, frog man is good.

FROHICKY TRIES TO PLEASE ZANE SO MUCH THAT HE GIVES ZANE A FROHICKY PLUSHIE. SO THAT ZANE CAN VENT HIS FRUSTRATIONS AT THE PLUSHIE. SO THAT HE WILL FEEL BETTER. AND ZANE SAYS “I do not experience heightened emotions.” see see this this proves one of my points urghhhguugh FROFFS BARKS GROWLS HE DOES. WE ALL KNOW HE DOES, ANY NINJAGO FAN WITH EYES CAN SEE THAT ZANE EXPERIENCES HEIGHTENED EMOTIONS. HE JUST KEEPS FUCKING LYING TO HIMSELF AND OTHERS BECAUSE HES GOT THIS ROBOT MINDSET EVER SINCE SEASON 3 HES JUST BEEN ENTIRELY CONSUMED BY THE IDEA THAT HE ISNT HUMAN AND SO HE HAS TO BE DEFINED BY THAT IDEA. He has so many inconsistencies all relating to this weird brain he has this weird weird robot brain it’s SO INTERESTING. I WILL BE GATHERING INFORMATION AND I WILL BE MAKING A FULLY RESEARCHED FULLY COHERENT RANT ABOUT ZANE IN THE FUTURE. BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE OTHER STUFF TODO BUT URGHH THIS CHARACTER MY BRAIN IS TINGLING SO MUCH URGHH

[timethehobo]

Had to doodle it. Inquisitor really out here swapping out those skintight beige inquisition pjs for skintight tevinter pjs… 😂

[faerieomenart]

KURT ART GO! Sí, sí, y más. Another art dump. Close ups. VVV

I love fuzzy Kurt but I can't draw it well for my life :(( some Gambit and Rogue to heal the soul btw. They're in love ok ok? Btw beared Kurt in the sketch dump is my phone lockscreen, just calling myself out. And my background is the doodle of myself fawning over him aksjdkj. No shame.

Also have no idea how to draw Kurt consistently rip. Sorry to anyone who tries and cares to read all the random notes, idk why I do that, but they're not important ajskjsk.

Lost the dates drawn, but idc bc they are recent.

[wriothesleybear]

Gallagher is an old fashioned romantic. Meaning he is a gentlemen who will bring you your favorite flowers, kiss you on the back of your hand every time he greets you, hold the door open for you, serenade you with his saxophone, use his vest to put over a puddle so you can walk over it. (Okay, maybe not the last one but you get what I mean.) Although he looks unkempt and doesn't seem like he cares much by looking at his disheveled attire, he actually cares a lot about his s/o. He will make the time for you even if he's tired from work. Spending time with you is his favorite part of the day and it's what he looks forward to, which helps gets him through his stressful jobs. He really likes chill dates where you two just talk, bask in each others presence, and do simple mundane things. If you wanted to go out and do something exciting, he wouldn't mind, but he really enjoys your chill dates the most.

Man will swoon you. The type of man to cover the floor with a trail of rose petals that lead to the bed which is also covered in rose petals. Then he would proceed to make love to you on said rose petal covered bed. And it would be the slow, passionate sex where you're both not in a rush to get off and take your time exploring and admiring each other's body. He's really good at appreciating his woman, both in general and in bed. Just imagine being married to this man. Having this man as your boyfriend is basically like having him as your husband. This man will do anything for you. He'd be like a house husband. Cooking, running errands, cleaning the house, getting on his knees for you (I may be delulu but hear me out).

A part of me feels like he isn't the type to sleep around, you know like having flings. Dating around takes a lot of time and energy which he doesn't care for so when he finds someone he really likes, he's in it for the long haul like you're stuck with him. His thoughts on marriage are pretty simple. He could see marriage with you in the future, but he believes you don't need a piece of paper or wedding to make your love for each other official. If you want to get married, he's down. If you don't want to get married, he's down as well. He literally could go either way, he's chill like that.