#I could write something much more eloquent if given the time

[stuckasmain]

Look if I had to deal with Mrs. Hall I too would go insane, was he a bit of an ass? Yes but

“For the love of god woman leave me alone im three seconds from going absolute bananas let me do what I need to do and I’ll leave.”

He was honest! I’m just saying—

None of this movie would’ve happened if people didn’t keep sticking their nose in his business. Yes his sanity is slipping- but he didn’t start going “you know what fuck y’all,” and start his rampage until everyone started poking the bear. He would’ve just obsessively worked on the antidote for all we know.

It’s one of those “society and hysteria make the monster their so afraid of” situations. I’m not saying he’s completely absolved of his issues as he was meddling with things he should’ve to begin with but there’s definitely a “overreaction is what made the problem”

[emstargazer]

Look, I always was, am and will be a particularly loud advocate of empathy, but let's not try to force it or perform mental gymnastics to imitate it. Sympathy will sometimes be all you can express to someone and that's fine.

[pomefioredove]

Hiya! Hope you're doing okay, and take it easy if you haven't been!

For the flirty prompts starters list, could you maybe do: "Stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you." with Vil? I think it'd be a good one

Thanks!

(I hope you have fun writing this if you do! No biggie if you don't or if someone else already asked!)

GIGGLING SO MUCH

summary: "stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you" type of post: short fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, Vil experiencing cuteness aggression.jpg, not proofread a part of this event

Vil considers himself to be an eloquent man.

After all, how one speaks is just as important as how one carries themselves, and every last inch of him, from his looks to his body language to his words, have been refined to perfection. Each a golden thread in the dazzling tapestry that is Vil Schoenheit.

And yet, despite that, he still can't seem to find a way to describe you.

Frustrating is not quite right. Epel is frustrating. Those first years you insist on spending your precious time with are frustrating. But you...

You are not annoying, nor are you incompetent. His usual vocabulary for the students of NRC is useless when it comes to you.

...And different is too vague.

Vil just seems to forget what to do with his hands when you're around.

You look so soft in the golden afternoon light of the lounge, which is distracting enough as it is. Now you're giggling in the way you do, and he can't concentrate, and... what was he doing, again?

"Stop that," he says, plainly, not looking up from the textbook he'd been reading. Or trying to, anyway. He'd lost his place some time ago.

You make this... sound, this confused little hum, and he pictures you tilting your head to the side like a puppy. Sevens, you're just so...

He huffs. "I said, stop,"

"Stop what?"

Clueless little thing. Vil sighs, finding it within himself to make eye contact. He'd given up on finishing this assignment early, anyway.

"You know what,"

You stare back, unblinking. Are you really so oblivious? No, there's no way you aren't doing this on purpose, whatever it is, just to get on his nerves. Did those friends of yours put you up to this?

He should scold you. He invited you to study with him, a luxury which many would pay millions for, and here you are, being...

Ugh. He still can't think of the right word.

"Am I being too loud?" you ask, a confused lilt in your voice.

Sevens, you are so dense, he wants to just grab you and squeeze you like a stress ball until a thought comes out of that empty head.

The thought of that is no help. If anything, it just bothers him more.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. Are you really not doing this on purpose? "No. You're distracting me,"

"Oh... sorry,"

...In such a soft, meek little tone, like you really feel bad about it, looking up at him with those eyes of yours... ugh. He wants to bite you, squeeze you in his arms until this overwhelming, restless feeling passes. You're so...

"It's... fine," Vil relents. "I don't think I would've gotten much done today, anyway."

You actually tilt your head to the side this time, worsening his condition. "Something on your mind?"

Sevens, what are you doing to him? He can't sit still. He pictures himself reaching across the table to pinch your cheeks, to kiss that sweet, worried expression off your face. The effect you have...

And you're not even doing anything!

"No," he says, his voice strained with the weight of the lie. "Just burnout. It's a busy time of year for me."

You seem to take that as a cue, standing from your seat with wide eyes and holding out a hand, much to his chagrin.

"You should be resting, then. Overworking yourself will only make things worse. Come on, let's go back,"

Such a determined expression on that pretty face of yours. There's just something about how you respond so innocently, so intent on caring for him, you're...

You're so...

Vil feels his heart drop. Oh, Sevens. That's the word.

You're so cute.

"Stop that," he snaps. He can feel his face warming. "This is the last time I'll ask."

A little flash of annoyance crosses your face at his dismissal. How adorable...

"Stop what?" You repeat.

Even your scoff is cute. His face feels hot. He can handle beautiful. Gorgeous, pretty, sexy, even, But not cute. And now he's getting himself all worked up over it, and you're being so sweet, and...

"Stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you!"

Nothing has ever had such an effect on him before.

After all, it would take something incredible to fluster Vil- and here he is, blurting out every thought he has, blushing like a schoolgirl as he realizes what just came out of his mouth.

Vil Schoenheit, suddenly terrified of being rejected. It was as if he'd woken up in a parallel universe.

Or died, and went to his own personal Hell.

The shock slowly wears off your face, and you... laugh.

You laugh.

"You're very forward,"

"I'll take that as a compliment, and not the way you meant it," he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. "Though I'm failing to find what's so amusing."

You move around the table to sit next to him, eyes gleaming. "How would you like me to react, then?"

Vil stares back. Was that... flirtation? Perhaps you're not so oblivious, after all...

But still cute.

Still very cute.

He sighs, though there's a smile playing at his lips now. "Save me the embarrassment of being rejected,"

"Hmm... I suppose that can be arranged,"

And with that, he cups your face in his hands and draws you in for that kiss.

[the-bloody-ruby]

Could you do Yan!Baldwin IV x a fem!reader who has a personality similar to Irish mythology’s Emer (Basically, Emer was said to have the ‘six gifts of womanhood’:beauty, a melodious voice, skill in needlework, eloquence, chastity, and wisdom. But despite having all the trappings of the ‘proper lady’ archetype, Emer was actually sharp-tongued and feisty, doing things like boasting that all the men in ulster would leave their wives if only she encouraged it, at one point insulting King Conocbar (to his face) and then giving all his warriors a tongue lashing, when her husband angers her she arms herself with a dagger and has fifty of her handmaidens don armor and they go confront him, etc)

(Ignore this if you want. I won’t take it personally)

Yan!Baldwin IV X Emer!Reader

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⚠Warnings⚠ historically inaccurate, sibylla being a bitch, forced relationship, slut shaming (not by Baldwin).

✎Note✐ reader is a female in this. This is not the actual historical figure but the figure from KoH movie. Sorry if I didn't match Elmer's personality but it was quite hard to write about her cuz I didn't know about her story and couldn't any videos about her to explain her story so this was written based of your description and my understanding.

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Being the face of the court is no easy job or title. You are the daughter of a high ranking noble in the Frankish Court of Jerusalem but that not what made you the face of high society, it's your six gifts of womenhood.

Beauty.

Melodious voice.

Needlework.

Eloquence

Chastity.

Wisdom.

Being the perfect lady in the eyes of high society according to standards didn't came without hatred.

Haters gonna hate - Probably Y/n.

Up till now, no matter what the other ladies tried to throw at you, you always came at top. No other woman was ever and will ever overshadow you. That includes sibylla, princess sibylla of Jerusalem, the oldest sister of king Baldwin IV of Jerusalem.

Although you did not have the pleasure of meeting his majesty yet, you had the displeasure of meeting her highness sibylla. You and her highness are on everything but good terms.

She hated you. you were everything that she should be as a princess, and also her sweet husband has been given you some glances through almost every ball you attend.

It's not like you mind the attention, you don't love men stares but you love women glares. It's entertainment in it finest form.

One evening, the princess approached with her ladies in waiting following right behind her. "Don't you have any shame?." She asks, her blue eyes stare right into your eyes, you couldn't help but smirk. "Did I do something inappropriate, your majesty?." You replied with mocking, playful tone.

"Yes, you are whoring yourself." Her words wipe the smirk off your face completely. "I don't quite understand, what are you referring to?-" "you know exactly what I'm talking about." She cuts you, getting closer to you.

You decided to play along, if she says you a whore then you will be a whore. "Guy?.. Don't worry dear, he's not my cup of tea... Besides if I really had my eyes set on him, he would not be spending the night by your side every night-" with that her hand comes hard at your cheek, if you could you would stab her with a dagger but unfortunately you would be executed on the stop if you even dared to harm a hair from the Royal blood.

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Despite months passing since that event, your pride was still wounded from the slap. You want revenge and you got an idea on your mind. Christmas is near so a celebration ball is near. It's time to put your needlework skills to the test.

Tonight is the night you execute your plan or you get yourself expected, you either fail miserably or succeed.

Turn by turn noble gave their gifts to his majesty, king Baldwin IV. The finest of Silk fabrics, weapons, jewelry, books and tapestries. As much as it seems like innocent gift giving it was more of trying to gain political favors. Soon enough it was your turn 'come on, Y/n! Remember who you are!!' That ego of yours loves to put you in awkward situations but here we go, you were trying to calm yourself because you are actually.. Nervous.. You thought that your gift was a good idea to leave him interested but from what you see, he didn't react much of the other's lavish presents, it's probably the mask. But Would your gift be enough to leave an impression on him?.. God you should have thought this through, where did your wisdom go!?!...

But you can't just run now! It's your turn for God's sake! It would be more embarrassing if you ran away and as they say, anything is better than nothing..

You bow before looking up at him with that infamous smile of yours "your grace.." You begin, trying to find the right words "it it well known your fondness of chess and accordingly, I brought you chess." You tried not to break out as his eyes stare at you through his mask.. 'God please take my soul away already...' "A-and.. I brought you another gift, a personal one if you would." Ah, that caught his attention, you can feel it.

You went up to him, kneeled down in front of him.. You were never this close to him. You held his hand in yours before kissing the back of his gloved hand then you directly looked into his blue eyes, you felt lost in the moment, forgetting the nobles that are shocked at your boldness, yes you were always this daring but this was too much even for you.

You pulled away your hand as your grab something.. A handkerchief?.. "Your majesty.. Please accept this handkerchief as I had embroidered the coat of arms of our holy Jerusalem.." Ah, kingdom of Jerusalem's cross.. A large central cross with four smaller crosses in each quadrant. It's not a bad gift if you think about since his majesty does value his kingdom but the deeper meaning of the handkerchief is something else.. And it smells nice, is it perfumed?.

You see in Medieval times, gifting handkerchief could mean a love token, especially if embroidered, perfumed and 'personal' gift which matches the description of your lovely gift, it is out right flirting.. You are risking your pride, if he rejects this handkerchief you will be forever the laugh stock of the court and sibylla will forever taunt you- he took it..

He. Took. It

HE. TOOK. IT

One point for Y/n and zero for sibylla.

You finally rose up, you bowed then left, the ball continued with tension.. "Is she aiming for marriage?.." Many whispered, others whispered "probably looking for favor.." But all said "the king accepted it."

As usual Christmas celebration in court lasts for 12 days. In these days your grin never faded no matter what others whispered or what sibylla had to say, ever since his majesty accepted your intimate gift your ego had been fed.

You went out to the grand garden to catch a break from all the gossip, you felt someone behind you. You prepared yourself mentally to yell at this man to get lost but as soon as you turned around you were surprised to find his majesty few steps away from you. It is quite awkward after the handkerchief.

He didn't speak yet his eyes said a lot "the handkerchief you gifted me was made well." He stated, his blue eyes never leaving yours. You smirk and get even closer "I'm pleased that you like it.. I made it myself for you." Your words just more the situation more 'inappropriate' then it already is, if someone from the court saw you the gossiping would never end.. It didn't matter now.. What matters is that it's only you two in this grand garden..

"I'll keep that in mind." He commented before taking off his ruby ring and handing it to you, you simply stared at him with genuine shock. For once it's you who are taken off guard by a man.

At first you thought he only accepted the handkerchief out of pity that you will be forever mocked if he rejected it but now since he gave a ring, a jewelry he previously wore. It means he officially accepted your 'romantic' feelings.

Now if you play your cards right he will be yours, the court will be yours, Jerusalem will be yours. You be more powerful than ever and then not even Sibylla can do anything against you.

You decided to shot your shot "A ring?.. Now my handkerchief seems dull but I expected nothing less from a king." You teased, he hummed "dull? Even small simple things can have deep meanings so don't look down on it just because it's a handkerchief." It feels like he's scolding you and he is.

You glare at him which didn't go unnoticed by him as he stopped his lecture and returned to his looking-through-your-soul stare which made things awkward again before you cut the tension "how is the chess, your grace?." You ask with a smile yet gentle smile, trying to change the topic.

"Huh.. I haven't tried it yet, care enough to join me in a game?." This is your chance to get closer to him, to get to know him better, to understand him better. "It would be my honor, your majesty."

With that you two ended up spending hours playing chess and much to your annoyance he won most all of the time, you don't know how yet it feels like he could read your moves like an open book.

Finally, you managed to win. 1 for y/n, 21 for Baldwin. By the time that happened it is almost midnight and the sounds of music and people talking in the main Hall has faded completely. God, for how long have you been in his office? As you stood to leave he grabbed your wrist gently "what kind of king would I be if I let a lady leave in the middle of the night?." With that you had to stay in the palace for the night.

Soon enough the sun rose up, servants dressed you up and before you could order a carriage, his majesty 'requests' you to join him in breakfast and remember, refusing a King's 'request' is never an option so here you go. "I hope you had a good sleep." He comments as he dig into his breakfast.

"It was alright, thanks for your concern your majesty." You answered, you looked at the food before looking back at him "Will you grant me permission to leave afterwards?." You ask, he stops eating "Why?."

"Do you find displeasure in my company?."

His voice was gentle yet it felt an unsettling feeling in you, why is he acting like this?.. "No.. Is it wrong for me to desire to go home?." You try your best to avoid saying anything that can be twisted into a different meaning.

"Home..?" He stated, before letting out a chuckle. It was soft and gentle like you'd expect.. But it left a bitter taste in your tongue. "This is your home."

This is your home

This. Is. Your. Home.

Four simple words that sent a shiver down your spine, his voice was cold when he said it. "What?." It came out naturally as he holds your hands with his gloved ones, his fingers brush against the Ruby ring you're wearing. "Is there something wrong?.. This is your home now.. Aren't we lovers?." As you attempted to say something he cuts you with placing a piece of bread in your mouth, with that this conversation was left unfinished.

Time passed fast, weeks turned into months and soon enough your wedding day came in spring. You don't understand yourself, you never truly did, you had always thought that once you marry someone with such power like a king, like Baldwin, all your problems would disappear, no one would ever dare to disrespect you, no one will be able to order you around, you would never ever kneel to someone, to sybilla, once again and it's true, that what would happen when you marry him.

But why aren't you happy?, why such emptiness in your heart? Is it about love? No you aren't foolish, in this time and age love is never an option really, love doesn't feed bread, it doesn't pay for luxuries and definitely it doesn't raise you in statues.

Yes Baldwin is a sweetheart, truly. He never raised his hand or voice at you, he may have quite literally held you hostage in his palace but he never treated you badly, in fact he was quite the generous man in his 'hospitality' yet you can't find it in yourself to love him.

At the start you did like him. despite his illness, he is quite the match but his actions lately, as loving as they may be, they couldn't make you feel...

Safe

It felt wrong, this is wrong.

No matter how this may be sugar coated it doesn't change the fact that you are being forced in this relationship! Baldwin didn't ask for your hand! He simply just took it because he can!

You were living in this cage of a palace when he just announced that you two will get married out of nowhere! He doesn't get to do this, right.. He can't.. He doesn't own you..

This... It boils your blood.. You wish to smack the shit of him and run away..

Yet

For once in your life, you truly feel helpless, powerless...

Weak

You hate it but what can you do..? Unfortunately, unfortunately.. Killing the king and running away is not an option.. Killing him would be almost impossible, even if you did, where would you go? The entire kingdom would be looking for you and your family would never help you.

'You have to endure' you tell yourself as you look into the mirror one last time before turning away and head into the door, heading into your inescapable fate.

You have to endure..

You will endure..

And he will by your side till you accept him.. And maybe.. Love him?..

Oh sweetheart Baldwin is no fool.

He knows you don't love him, he can tell. He has some sort of sixth sense that allows him to read people like an open book. After all, thanks to this 'trustful' court with time you will learn to know, to understand when someone is lying to your face with full confidence guy of lusignan

Now, now. Don't keep him waiting, he's waiting for you to become his under the eyes of God, his lawful wife under the eyes of everyone, including sybilla despite her displeasure. Part of him likes to see her pissed

Tonight everyone will wish you long and happy marriage, don't keep them waiting.

May it be blessed ♥︎.

Sorry pookies for not posting for sometime but write block killed me (#×_×)

I got many unfinished darts 😭 but I'll try to finish requests first then I'll start with the series then secondary stuff, I'll try to post about different fandoms but I'm quite scared to do so plz give me advice ♥︎♡

[ambrosiagoldfish]

Lucifer, Charlie, and alastor with a Kitsune reader ? :0

Hazbin Hotel x Kitsune! Reader

(Lucifer, Charlie, and Alastor)

Safe for all Audiences!

Warnings: None! Gn! Reader! Reader being a mischievous Little Kitsune, chaos ensues.

Request Box: Open

Word count: 1101

A/n: Hi! thank you for the request! This isn’t terribly long so I hopes that’s ok!

Now, I wasn’t entirely sure if you want this to be Romantic or Platonic so I kept it pretty vague so it could be interpreted as either! I hope that’s ok, if not just send another request and I’ll fix it!!

But either way I hope you enjoy it because i enjoyed writing it!! <3

Proofread once soooo… if there are any errors please ignore them/inform me 😭

Lucifer

When you first arrived in hell, he wasnt the most impressed by you. Not in a mean way or anything, just that he’s lived for a long time and has met a plethora of different types of beings so he’s pretty used to meeting interesting looking people.

But even he has to admit that he was intrigued with you. Your 9 well-groomed and lush tails that quietly followed you with every step and the fur of your fox ears looked soft to the touch. The thing that he seemed to notice most though was the whole eloquent aura you had with every movement you did. Smooth, almost tranquil.

You being a Kitsune did cause you to stir up a bit of… let's say trouble. Your fox nature of course caused you to have a personality that leaned a bit mischievously. You weren’t malicious by any means, you judt had a very… unique taste in humor and how you wish to spend your time. Pranks, stealing random objects that interest you, and going places that you probably should be. This gets you in trouble with many a folk but it’s really not something you can’t handle.

On one of these occasions. you took interest in his custom made duckys. First off, it was something new to you, 2nd, you had never seen someone be this interested in ducks as him, so when you randomly stumbled into the big man of hell’s workspace that’s filled to the brim of them, each with unique features and colorful designs, needless to say you were quite interested.

He was a bit embarrassed at first when you found it but seeing that you genuinely were into them he literally couldnt stop showing them off. Going into almost ecrusiating detail of each one's design choices. (This man is so autistic-coded. I love him so much)

He even made a custom one for you which he gave you when both met again. It was a basic duck design, except it had 9 tail feathers and wore fox ears that clearly mimicked your own, including your fur pattern. He then spent an hour going through each of its features with you. To say you were grateful would be an understatement.

“And if you pull this feather back… Bubbles! Oh-ho, and that's not all! If you take this and-”

Charlie

Definitely more impressed than her father would be. Of course she has been in hell literally all her life and has seen some weird, wacky, hot and cool people but it still doesnt not surprise her when she finds interesting people. When you first met her she was really interested in you, asking a bunch of questions and It was almost scary how enthusuatsic about it she got.

She then started talking about her brand new “Hazbin Hotel.” It was something to reform sinners so that they had a chance at redemption. Charlie seemed so excited to tell you about it that you honestly did have the heart to tell her that you didn’t exactly believe a soul could be redeemed.

Now depending on if you’re hellborn or a sinner, things can go a bit differently. If youre hellborn she’ll offer you a job at the hotel, well to say a job would be a lie, you didn’t really have 1 given task to do, you just helped out when needed. if you’re a sinner, you of course get to stay in a room at the hotel. Whether you actually go along and try to get better is up to you. It was a free place to sleep, so hey? Might as well. Either way though, Charlie always sees the good in people, hellborn or not. So she would obviously want to help you grow as a person even if you are hellborn.

The michevues aspects of your personality tends to cause some problems for the hotel at times. Fights happen, lessons have ended prematurely, and you may have accidentally caused a bar fight between Angel and Sir Pentious. It really was an accident, how was you supposed to know “borrowing” one of Pentious’ shiny tools would cause such a ruckus?

Charlie lectored you about taking others' stuff and made you apologize.

As much as Charlie doesn’t want to admit it (at least before episode 5) she’s a lot like her dad. That also expands to their likeness for your fur. She really can’t take her eyes away from it, it just looks so soft and neat… and soft… eventually you catch her staring at your tails and you just laugh and ask her if she wants to touch them.

“What!? Pfft, noooo, no no no. hehe…he…unless you’re offering…”

Alastor

Considering Alastor died in the 20’s I don’t think he knows what a Kitsune is exactly. Which is probably why he’s the most interesting in you at first glance (you could have also met when he first manifested in hell, which would only further his intrigue)

Either way, your personalities seemed to mesh well for the most part. You both stir up trouble wherever you go (Alastor a bit more… maliciously than you but still)

Whether you’re hellborn or a sinner is irrelevant to how he treats you, though he has tried making a deal with you every once and a while. You always decline but he thinks it’s always worth a shot to ask.

Alastor is aware of your devious behavior and knows the best way to handle it if it ever happens to come his way. He knows that you’re harmless and not a threat which is exactly why he has taken a liking to you. You’re someone who can only really help his cause and nothing bad can really come out of you being around.

Pranks though, are the one thing that Alastor can’t seem to sway you out of doing. He can’t even begin to count the amount of times he’s been at the front end of them. Of course he always sees through them and they’ve never once worked, but boy are you sure determined to one day get him.

This was one such case where you attempted to steal and hide his radio cane while he was asleep, only for him to sneak up shadow form and scare you half to double death

“You’re going to have to try harder than that to pull one past me, my, oh-so dear, exquisitely fluffy friend”

[navybrat817]

Like There's No Tomorrow

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: When you make a rash decision after you're passed over for a promotion again, Bucky encourages you to follow your dream. It's the start of an unforgettable journey. Word Count: Over 3.4k Warnings: Insecurities, impulsivity, reflecting, slight angst, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and the best, okay?). A/N: Writing this was very personal and therapeutic after my recent work experience. While I can't actually live this life, I know Firecracker and Daredevil will have many adventures together. Also for @the-slumberparty's Eight Types of Love Challenge (Ludus - Road Trip / Surprise)❤️ Thanks to the beautiful @whisperlullaby for the encouragement and @buckyownsmylife for giving this intro a look and assuring me it wasn't garbage, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You quit your job on a Friday afternoon.

On paper, it appeared to be an ordinary day. Nothing different from your usual routine. You got up, brushed your teeth, showered, dressed yourself, gave your boyfriend a kiss, selected a caffeinated beverage, and got to work. While you wouldn't call your job your dream job and some of the tasks were monotonous, you were good at it and you cared about your teammates.

In fact, they were one of the reasons you stuck around for as long as you did.

“Just wanted to say you've done a lot for us and we wouldn't be where we are without you.”

“I’m so sorry. I hope this doesn’t get you down.”

“I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.”

“For what it’s worth, they made a mistake.”

Tears filled your eyes as you looked through the messages a few of your teammates sent after the promotion announcement was made minutes ago. There was an overall mixture of surprise and confusion when they heard you didn’t get it. They knew how hard you worked to move up and how badly you wanted it. You wished you hadn’t gotten your hopes up since that usually led to disappointment.

Of course, you were happy for the candidate who got the job. It wasn’t their fault you didn’t advance. Their success called for celebration. It didn’t make it any easier for you though and it didn’t lessen the hurt that you were passed over once again for something you were more than qualified for.

You somehow held it together though, not wanting everyone around you to see you break. Crying was reserved for the bathroom, your car, and home. Plus, you had shown enough vulnerability to management during the lengthy process and aftermath. They didn’t deserve an ounce more.

Especially after you were told that the value you provided wasn’t enough.

“I know this outcome is disappointing, but this isn’t a setback. You still have a lot to be proud of,” your manager told you the day before when you received the email entailing that you didn't receive the promotion and why. “Take the feedback we’ve given you and use that to get to the next level next time.”

He was only trying to help, but who would want to try again when they’re told they aren’t enough more than once? If the intention was to fuel your fire, they snuffed it out. Then again, your feelings were so raw because you hadn’t given yourself enough time to digest the news. Being told you were just out of reach was salt in the open wound, stinging much more than it should have as you tried to figure out what you did wrong.

Because you had to have done something wrong, right? Were the words you wrote in your application not eloquent enough? Did you not display the right amount of confidence in your interview? Why were you always on the cusp of greatness, but never quite there?

Blinking the moisture from your eyes, you straightened up and began to type again. Personal feelings aside, you had a job to do. You needed the income. You also had to prove that they were wrong in overlooking you. Again.

But as the sound of your fingers flying across the keyboard became white noise in your head, Bucky’s words from earlier in the morning shimmered into your mind.

“Just quit, Firecracker. They don’t deserve you and you deserve better.”

Bucky Barnes, your boyfriend. The kind of man you didn’t think was real until he came into your life. Gorgeous, faithful, doting, protective - you thought men like that only existed in books. He supported and hyped you up every time you went for a promotion and wiped away every tear when you didn’t get it. Your crying and self-doubt broke his heart, and this morning may have been the last straw for him.

Maybe it was the last straw for you, too.

Glancing around the office as you saw everyone else typing with minimal conversation, the room had never looked more lifeless to you. There was nothing about the place or the job that inspired you, so why continue to give yourself over to a place that didn’t give back to you in return? Why stay in a place that dulled your shine?

The sudden realization hit you square in your chest that you didn’t want to be there anymore.

“Have a great weekend, team. Good luck and thanks for everything.” You sent in a message before you could stop yourself.

You had never had an out-of-body experience before, but it was as if your spirit was beside you as you began to close the programs on your computer. Glancing at your desk after you set your phone to voicemail, you realized you had hardly any personal touches in your space. Except for the photo of you and Bucky.

He was your one bright spot in the building.

With the utmost care, you put the photo in your bag once you shut everything down. Your heart sank as your gaze swept over your team, an uncomfortable pit settling in your stomach as you went to see your boss. Disappointing anyone always brought you a sense of dread and you didn’t want to let him or anyone else down, but you were thinking of yourself for once.

You owed yourself that.

“Hey,” your boss smiled as he glanced up from his desk before he noticed you had your bag. You shifted on your feet when his cheerfulness shifted to concern. “What’s up? Are you clocking out early?”

“Not exactly,” you answered, gripping your bag so hard your hand began to ache.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, leaning forward in his seat.

You didn’t know how to respond because it wasn’t okay and nothing he could say or do would change how you felt. You didn't want him to try and sway you to stay. The heartbreaking part was that he was, overall, a good boss. He taught you a lot and helped you better yourself. So did the team as a whole. They were rock stars. Each and every one of them.

But now they weren’t enough to make you stay and maybe it was a blessing in disguise that you didn’t go anywhere with your job.

So with a bittersweet smile, you uttered, “I quit. I’m sorry.”

You tossed your building key onto his desk and turned away before he could reply. Your mind raced as you put one foot in front of the other and ignored the stares of your coworkers who caught on to what had just transpired. It was hard to breathe, but your steps for once felt light instead of heavy. Your boss may have called out for you, but you didn’t dare look back. Not when you couldn’t stay in there another minute.

What you didn’t expect was for Bucky to be waiting outside as you went out of the door.

Your boyfriend managed to take your breath away every time you saw him and today was no exception. All 6’4” of him, he decided to cover his beefy frame with one of his favorite leather jackets, a fitting shirt, and tight jeans. His stormy eyes zeroed in on you as he pushed away from his old pickup truck and ran a hand through his chestnut hair. He was stunning.

He was yours.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you blurted out as you raced toward him. “Get me out of here. Please.”

But why was he there? You didn’t plan to meet up with him until after work and your shift was only a little over halfway over. Did he want to surprise you?

He caught you easily with his large hands before you could stumble into him. “Whoa, easy. Get in,” he said, opening the passenger door and helping you in. Your hands trembled as you buckled yourself in, your body in flight mode because you had to get away from the office. He wasted no time getting in and peeling out of the parking lot, the building becoming smaller and smaller in the distance.

You weren’t even sure how far away he drove before he pulled over and stopped the car since you didn’t look behind you. Resting your shaking hands on your thighs, the high of walking out dissipated until it left you cold. Reality sank in. Would it pull you under?

“Talk to me,” Bucky urged, his voice calm and gentle instead of demanding. “Please?”

“I quit my job,” you whispered, your gaze set in front of you, but not seeing anything in focus. “I couldn't do it anymore.”

Bucky leaned over to turn your face toward him, sympathy and understanding filling his eyes. “Oh, baby, I knew today would be the tipping point. Waited most of the morning for you to walk out,” he said. You were about to question how he could possibly know that, but he could read you better than anyone. “Just a feeling I had.”

“I quit my job. I quit,” you said again, your breathing more shallow than before he engulfed you in a warm and grounding embrace. Your fingers twisted in his jacket as you breathed him in. Sandalwood and citrus were scents you now associated with love because of him. “What did I do?! I didn’t even give notice. I just tossed my card down and left. Fuck, I just burned my bridges with everyone there.”

You stifled a sob as you hid your face in his neck. You swore to yourself that you would never be that person who walks out on a job, but you did just that and screwed over your entire team. Would any of them understand why you did it or accept an apology? How long would it take for that guilt to go away since you essentially gave up after the words of kindness and encouragement they gave you?

“Breathe, baby. I’ve got you” he whispered, rubbing your back as you steadied yourself. “Yeah, you quit today. And maybe you burned a bridge, maybe not. But I couldn’t be fucking prouder of you.”

“You’re proud that I walked out on my team?” you asked, whipping your head up so fast you were lucky you didn’t get whiplash. “They don’t deserve to deal with that. Not to mention, I have nothing lined up.”

The thought of starting over again made your stomach drop again. The job market could be a terrifying and hopeless place. What if you couldn’t find anything? Or what if you burned through your savings by the time you did?

“I’m proud that you walked away from something keeping you down. After everything you’ve done for them, I’m sure most of them will get why you couldn’t do it anymore,” he assured you, the corners of his lips turning down when you sniffled. “And don't worry about not having something lined up. We'll figure it out.”

“We?” you questioned. Bucky was your boyfriend, but this wasn’t his problem.

“Yeah, we,” he said, pointing between the two of you with his forefinger. “You and me. I'm in this with you.”

Your heart melted before logic tried to take back over. “I should just go back there and apologize. I can say that I-”

He framed your face and pressed his warm lips to yours before you could say another word. He coaxed you to return the kiss with ease and you responded with parted lips and a sigh. His kisses left you lightheaded as sparks ignited, threatening to explode if you went much further. Which was why he stopped to let you catch your breath.

“No. You’re not doing that,” he said, his scruff tickling your forehead as he pressed a kiss there. He knew that was a weakness of yours and it instantly stopped you from arguing. “We're going on an adventure and we can’t do that if you’re chained to a desk.”

“An adventure?” you repeated with uncertainty.

“Yeah. We’re going to drive and see where it takes us,” he said, his lips touching your forehead once more before he started up the car again. “Just need to grab a couple of things before we go.”

“What about work for you?”

“It’s taken care of,” he assured you. He wasn’t the type of guy to lie, but when did he have time to plan this? Neither one of you had mentioned going anywhere.

Leave it to Bucky to do something impulsive to make you happy.

“Okay,” you said, trusting him and deciding to play along with his endeavor. “You said we need a couple of things. What do we need? Besides the essentials.”

“Your laptop. And a journal if you don't feel like typing.”

You refrained from rolling your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know. My laptop so I can apply for new jobs and pray that they don’t reach out to my now previous boss as a reference, right?”

“Oh, no,” he chuckled, a playful smirk on his face when you swung your head toward him. “The laptop is so you can write like you've always wanted to. And the journal if you prefer to write some of your thoughts and ideas down by hand.”

“Wait. You want me to write on this trip?” you asked, making sure you heard him correctly.

“Yeah, I do.”

Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Your boyfriend was certifiably crazy, but you loved that about him. “Bucky, no. I can't just write,” you said.

“Why not?” he shrugged.

“Because it doesn't pay the bills or provide security,” you replied.

Writing was a silly hobby that you did from time to time to help you channel your emotions or escape from the real world. At best, it was a dream. Nothing more. He knew that. At least, you thought he knew that.

At the end of the day, it wouldn’t put a roof over your head or food in your stomach. How were you expected to hold onto dreams that wouldn’t take you anywhere? And at what point did you stop believing in them and yourself?

When did you start thinking so cynically?

“But working a job you're not passionate about just to provide safety is the better option? There’s a difference between doing something you love and doing something you’re good at when your heart isn’t in it. You’ve done the latter for years now,” he said with a huff as you inhaled. “That isn't living and you’re lying to yourself if you think it is.”

Your eyes narrowed as his words sank in, your shackles raising. “No, it isn’t living, but it’s the most practical thing I can do! And, yeah, I am good at my job because I worked my ass off!” you argued, taking a breath. You didn’t want to start crying or snap at him when he was right. “Or at least I was good at my job. And I would’ve done my best had I advanced, but I couldn’t even accomplish that.”

Which begged the question of why you applied. The higher title and pay would’ve been nice for recognition and comfortability. You believed you earned it. But was it what you wanted to do for the rest of your life? Was that your path when you looked toward your future?

You hadn’t taken into account your own desires and values.

“Hey,” he said softer than before. “I wasn’t trying to-”

“And say I do try and write for real. How can I even enjoy this adventure knowing I'm probably just going to fail again?” you asked in a small voice.

How many hits could you take before your armor cracked?

Bucky's jaw clenched. “And that's exactly why I'm glad you finally quit. You've had so many people over your head telling you that what you do isn't enough to achieve what you want. And now you believe it,” he said, his hands gripping the steering wheel hard enough that you feared he’d bend it with his strength. “Fuck that and fuck them for making you feel that way.”

Your mouth fell open as you stared, his fury for and defense of you making your chest tighten. “I…”

“Why can’t you be a writer, huh? Why not try? You’re talented and I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. That’s where your heart is and it shows with every word,” he pressed, knowing you put your whole self into your creative outlet. “And listen, we have money set aside for the time being and more than enough for this excursion. So, I don’t care if writing doesn’t pay the bills for a while as long as you’re happy and doing what you’re passionate about. We’ll have each other and that’s enough in my eyes.”

Contemplating his words, you had to give him credit. The job wasn’t something you did because you were passionate about it. You did it because it was safe and expected of you when in many ways it held you back. Besides, what did you have to lose at this point? If you didn’t try, you’d never know. You’d look back one day and regret it if you let the chance pass you by.

Why not do something impulsive?

Why not make the most out of the moment you were in?

“Okay. You’re right. I should try to write and we should go,” you nodded, taking a deep breath. “Let’s grab a few things and see where this trip takes us.”

“There she is,” he smiled over at you, making your heart swell. “There’s my Firecracker.”

The nickname would always warm your heart. “You know, this actually sounds a bit like that book idea I had the other day,” you said, excitement seeping through your veins. Your fingers twitched a bit, too, with the urge to write. “Do you remember? I told you about it while we were eating pizza.”

Bucky took one hand from the steering wheel to grab yours. “I remember everything you've ever said.”

“Flattery will get you everything, Daredevil,” you said, biting your lip to keep from smiling too wide. “So, we're really doing this. We're just leaving?”

“Not just leaving. We're taking a long overdue road trip," he said, bringing your hand to his mouth to kiss it. “You deserve it.”

“We both do,” you said, the uncertainty leaving your body more with each passing second. You even turned off your phone so you wouldn’t be tempted to look at any emails or messages. “We deserve to live today like there’s no tomorrow.”

“‘Like there’s no tomorrow’,” Bucky quoted back to you with a hum. “Sounds like a good book title.’

“I’ll have to write it down so I don’t forget,” you smiled, linking your fingers together. “And don’t forget your journal, too. I don’t want you to miss a thing.”

“I won’t forget it,” he promised.

“Bucky?” you asked, swallowing as he gazed over at you. “Thank you. Really.”

It felt like you could breathe again without a weight in your chest. You didn't feel perfect, but you felt good. All thanks to him. You didn’t know what you’d do without him.

“You don’t need to thank me, baby, but I should thank you for letting me take you away,” he winked, keeping your hand in his as he faced forward again. “Makes me feel like a real hero, even though you wouldn't let me storm the castle.”

Oh, he wanted so badly to go off on your manager, but there was no need. “You are a hero,” you said. He saved you without knowing. “But try not to speed, Daredevil. I don’t want us to get pulled over before we get started.”

He groaned, but nodded as he let off the gas. “I’ll try not to speed. Need to make sure I get you to where we’re going safely.”

“I trust you.”

You would find out soon enough that Bucky had a list of things written in his journal that he planned to do with you on this trip. Everything you had ever said in passing that you wanted to do or try, but never could because of work. Because he paid attention to you. And you were right.

You deserved to live today like there’s no tomorrow.

And he wanted to be by your side while you lived your best life.

So, lovelies, where are they doing on their trip first? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[ari-the-arotistic]

So I was thinking about pirates of the Caribbean, and each characters unique moral code and way of approaching life, as one does, when I remembered a particular scene about our beloved James Norrington... the very first scene in which Jack and James meet. Now, as a long time Sparrington shipper, I adore the Sparrington fandoms adopted head canon of Jack's compass pointing directly at Jack when James is holding it as having a romantic connotation too it, but this is Disney we're talking about, and a Disney from 20 years ago at that, so it is of course just a head canon. And while it is a beloved head canon, I will always be a writer before a shipper, and what that scene says about Norrington from a writer's perspective is far too juicy not to share... So buckle up for a very long meta post about who James Norrington is as a person, and how it was set up in this scene(and later reinforced in the second and third movie). This is my first real meta post, and I'm very excited for it, so let's jump right in.

First of all, the compass scene.

As we can clearly see in the image above, since the red line that points to the object of the holder's desires is no where to be seen, its relatively easy to conclude that it's hidden from our view by the sun dial in the middle, and thusly is pointing directly at Jack. Elizabeth is off to James's right, and no one is standing behind Jack, so unless the compass was pointing at something in the far off distance that just so happened to be in Jack's general direction(unlikely) its pretty clear what(or who) the compass is pointing at. For most potc fans, this is fairly standard knowledge. But it's what this fact says about Norrington's character that I'd like to focus on. After all, what does it say about a man that a compass that shows you what you desire most is pointing at a pirate, and the very face of piracy at that, instead of your canonical love interest, when you're a Commodore of the Navy? As stated above, Sparrington shippers often point at this scene as proof that James has a bit of a pash on the ruggedly handsome pirate, or at the very least, a thing for men. But from a writer's perspective, this just simply isn't the case, and not because the writer's in this instance are the notoriously homophobic corporation we call Disney. The reason why this is so unlikely from a writing perspective is because given the context clues, we as an audience are meant to draw the conclusion that this is the first time that they meet(I have heard rumors of them meeting as children in the books, but having never read them, and focusing only on the movies, I'm not including that in this post). And since this is the first time they've met, it's highly unlikely that the compass is pointing at Jack because James has a bit of a thing for him. Even if James has heard of Jack's many exploits, he does not truly know the man behind the legend, so having romantic feelings for the pirate at this point in time just isn't believable. And even if James was a closeted gay/bi man, it's still unlikely that the compass would be pointing at Jack of all the men around the Commodore(of which there is a lot, some of whom he is incredibly close with) seeing as Jack is the poster boy of piracy, and at this point in the movie it's made abundantly clear that James vehemently detests the notion and all who practice it. If James were to be holding the compass in Jack's vicinity in later movies and it still pointed at the pirate, an argument could definitely be made that it was because he had developed feelings for Jack, but for their first meeting, it's just not realistic. So it's much more likely that the reason the compass is pointing at Jack is because of James's desire to send every pirate he meets to "a quick drop and a sudden stop" as he so eloquently put it to a young Elizabeth. This is further reinforced in the third movie when it is revealed that Beckett's desire to have Jack dead at his feet would prevent him from using the compass to find Shipwreck Cove if the pirate was not already at the aforementioned location, or, well, dead. This is again, relatively common knowledge. But like I said before, it's what this fact says about James that is the whole point of this post... and that is that James cares more about his career than anything else, even the woman he claims to love. Now for some, that statement alone might seem like a pretty obvious conclusion, but it's how this scene subtlety sets up this core aspect of Norrington's character before we even truly get to know who he is, and how it's brought to it's full height in the second movie, and the core aspect of his redemption and subsequent death in the third that I'd really like to talk about. Which brings us to the next segment of this post...

How James lost his commission to the navy...

And how he got it back

So let's start off with how James lost his commission... it's a story we all know pretty well, and one he tells to Gibbs in the scene shown above, when he plans to either join Jack's crew or get revenge on the man that(he believes) ruined his life. After Jack's escape in the first movie, James grew obsessed with capturing the pirate, so much so that he foolishly followed the Black Pearl into a hurricane, resulting in the sinking of the Dauntless, and the loss of countless lives that had been aboard the vessel. It's unclear aside from James himself who had been on the ship at the time, and who did or did not survive, but the death toll was heavy, with most, if not everyone who wasn't James, having perished in the storm. While it is not the most extreme example(which we'll get too in just a bit), this is a pretty clear example of James prioritizing his career above everything else, even reason and logic. And all just to capture a singular pirate, even at the cost of his own ship and crew, and rather ironically, the very career that he had been so desperately trying to hold onto in the first place. Which brings us to the next scene I'd like to discuss... James stealing the heart of Davy Jones. This moment is the absolute peak of this part of James's character. This is the moment where James takes his obsessive need for his career to the max. This is the moment where James truly prioritizes his career above everything else, even the woman he claims to love(and for Sparrington shippers, above the man he's reluctantly come to care about). At this point in time, when James decides to take the heart for himself to regain his old station, he's been on the Black Pearl long enough to know the full situation. That Jack is in some kind of trouble with Davy Jones, and that if Jack doesn't use the heart to bargain for his freedom, then the Kraken will hunt Jack, and subsequently the Black Pearl, down until he and everyone aboard are dead. And that includes Elizabeth. And yet, despite knowing that stealing the heart would basically mean sealing Elizabeth's death, he still decided to do so. Sure, the argument could be made that he thought Elizabeth would be able to escape somehow, but the chances of her dying at sea, or some other terrible fate befalling her before she could safely make it back to civilization would have been highly likely. Of course we as an audience know that this isn't the case, but James does not. So essentially, James was so obsessed with his career, and maintaining the image of the honorable Commodore that he didn't even truly register that he was putting Elizabeth, the woman he loves and has been trying so desperately to woo for the past two movies, in danger. And he won't fully realize the consequences of his actions until the third movie, in a deleted scene no less(I swear when I find whoever decided to delete some of the most important scenes to James's character...), when Davy Jones informs Governor Swann of his daughters untimely demise on the Black Pearl. Of course, almost immediately afterwards, Beckett retcons that statement by informing the Governor that Elizabeth was recently seen in Singapore, but for a few minutes, James has to sit with the fact that Elizabeth was dead, and it was his fault. And even after learning that she was in fact still alive, James has now finally come to the realization that if she had still been on the Black Pearl when it sank with its Captain, he would've been the one to send her to her death. And for Sparrington shippers, James has to sit with the unavoidable fact that he was the reason Jack had died(even if the pirate does come back), despite the fact that it was Elizabeth's betrayal that was the final nail in Jack's coffin, since she wouldn't have had to do that if the Kraken wasn't after them in the first place. Which brings us to the final scene I'd like to discuss...

James choosing a side, and paying the price

Now, before we fully delve into this scene, I'd like to take a moment to talk about James's own perception of himself, and his relationship with honor and integrity. From the very first scene in which we meet James Norrington, we are made aware that he has a strong moral compass. He firmly believes piracy is evil, and that all who partake in piracy deserve a swift end. He perceives his Commodore persona as being the paragon of honor and integrity, and the sole arbiter of justice. We can infer from the line "By remembering that I serve others, Sparrow, not just myself" that James does have honorable intentions when ridding the world of pirates, that being protecting the innocent citizens under his care, but as seen once again in the first time James and Jack meet, wherein James adamantly tries to arrest Jack despite the fact the fact that pirate had just saved Elizabeth's life, his actions to achieve that goal are not always quite as honorable as his intentions are. This is especially highlighted once again when James gave Beckett the heart of Davy Jones. James's intentions here were once again rooted in honor and integrity - he believes that the only way to keep people safe from pirates is too return to his old station, to the image of honor and integrity he had built around the title of Commodore, and the only way to return to his old station is to give Beckett the heart. But the action itself was far from honorable, seeing as James had to betray the woman he loved just to obtain the heart, and that he was now putting it into the hands of a dangerously unstable individual who planned on using it to commit mass genocide.

And now, we finally get to the scene above... Of course, it's made clear throughout his scenes in the third movie leading up to this one that James is already starting to regret giving Beckett the heart after seeing the damage being caused, but since Beckett is targeting pirates specifically(although we as an audience know that Beckett's definition of pirate is very loose) James figures that the ends justify the means, as he often does in situations regarding piracy. It is not until his reunion with Elizabeth, where he learns that Governor Swann is dead, and that Beckett lied to him about the Governor's whereabouts, that James truly realizes the enormity of his mistake. It is in this moment that James has a sudden realization that fundamentally shakes him to his core, and is the reason behind his change of heart later on. He realizes that the honorable Commodore persona that he had tried to cultivate and keep a hold of for so long had never been truly honorable at all, and that by giving Beckett the heart of Davy Jones, he had effectively tied the noose around the neck of his own honor and integrity, as well as the necks of hundreds, if not thousands of innocent people, with his own hands. And as that one vine goes, this was the moment James knew, he fucked up. Which leads to his decision to change sides in an attempt to redeem himself, and his subsequent death in the process. Of course, part of James's reason for helping Elizabeth escape was that he does care for her, but given everything I've detailed about him so far, I think it's safe to say the main reason that James decided to help Elizabeth and her crew was because he wanted to undo the damage he had done, and he had faith that Elizabeth, Will, and Jack would have some sort of plan to defeat Beckett, and stop any further damage to come from his mistake. And now, for his death scene itself... As much as I love the idea of James surviving and joining the pirates(whether at Elizabeth's side or Jack's is unimportant), I firmly believe that his death was a necessary end of this part of his character arc, and that if he were to survive he would still have to go through a major ego death for this part of his character arc to end properly. Because as Bill turner drives that wooden pike into James's gut, it's not just the physical death of his body, but also the metaphorical death of Admiral James Norrington, and the ideals that James had used to build the persona out of. So even if James survived, the Admiral would still have to meet his metaphorical end, thusly causing James to lose a core part of himself that had been guiding most his decisions so far, in the process, which would start the next part of his character arc, where he would have to deal with the loss of a key part of his personality, and rebuild himself from the ground up to finally, truly become the image of honor and integrity he had envisioned from the beginning.

And that concludes this very long post. I could probably wax enough poetics about this aspect of James's character to write a short novel, but I've said everything important to this post, and if I go on any longer, I'm likely to start repeating myself lol. Thank you for reading, and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or a reblog! I will always love hearing more about our polished peacock <3

[thorntopieces]

assorted pjo/hoo headcanons

part 1 - part 2

autistic!will. i mean. i was one of the first people to write it (and post it on ao3, but i had stuff about it on my long gone old blog before then). this is true. to me. it's not incredibly obvious unless you know what you're looking for because 99% of the time he's eloquent and very passionate and maybe it's just the hyper healer in him and he'd like to think he passes well. but for people who know they can just tell. it's the voice, man /gn. gives you away every time /lh

pots!hazel. she ends up (mostly!) recovering from the fainting episodes associated with her flashbacks but still faints and feels unwell a lot of the time. she spends a lot of her energy and magic on staying conscious and aware, leaving her foggy and with flare-ups. will ends up diagnosing her half-way on accident during the three days nico stays in the infirmary. she doesn't faint a lot, but she will frequently have her vision black out when she stands and feel nauseous if she has to stand still for more than ten minutes (more or less depending on the day). together with jason and nico the three of them make up the fainting trio

reyna speaks excessively formally and politely when she's uncomfortable and the moment she feels safe around you she will just loosen up completely. it becomes very clear very quickly how much of her time is spent being uncomfortable

genderfluid!lou ellen. most of the time she's happy to be referred to as a girl, but some days it just feels wrong and she prefers to be referred to either gender-neutrally or masculinely. it's not something she's out about to anyone but her closest friends, partially because there's kind of enough stigma around being the child of hecate and also, it's not all that obvious, even to her.

nico is a bit like a social interaction vampire. he's not as shut off as others seem to think, he just needs to be given explicit permission to talk about his interests because he's worried about annoying other people, especially after bianca essentially abandoned him. he could talk for hours and hours about his special interests (because yes, he's probably autistic too) like mythomagic (he picks it up again with percy's encouragement), ancient languages and literature

will and katie (gardner) friendship. they bond over liking star wars and when lou ellen join their circle she manipulates the mist to recreate scenes from the movies. as she gets better at it she manages to make the light sabers glow, much to will and katie's delight

after the battle of manhattan and will/kayla/austin almost dying from being overworked, the camp gets together with mr d and chiron without the apollo kids' knowledge and figure out how to run the infirmary in a more sustainable way than just forcing apollo and athena kids to be there. eventually they settle on apollo kids doing 8-hour shifts but none at night unless someone is severely wounded. for the night shift, other campers work in rotating pairs where one sleeps for the first four hours and the other for the last four hours. a lot more campers gain appreciation for the amount of work the apollo (and athena) cabin put in to keep them alive and healthy and the apollo cabin doesn't die of burnout

t1 diabetic!kayla. she's been sick with it since she was six, but thanks to having a very supportive dad and a team of professionals around him considering his status as an olympic archer, her condition is well-managed (most of the time, war time is unpredictable) and she knows how to treat and manage it considering her demigod lifestyle. accompanying headcanon to this: while ambrosia and nectar is mostly to heal injuries and wounds of a divine and/or serious nature, it can short-term manage blood sugar. mortal intervention is always needed to fix the problem though. a bit like how narcan delays but can't entirely fix an opioid overdose

cecil wasn't properly accepted as a child of hermes at first considering he didn't express exceptional skills at the more obvious and everyday traits associated with the cabin (multilingualism, athleticism, thievery). first when he was found to accidentally being an exceptional saboteur was he properly accepted by the rest of his siblings. due to this he tended to hang out with the unclaimed children in the hermes cabin rather than his own siblings, especially lou ellen

hjs!cecil (hypermobile joint syndrome; double-jointedness). he's not good with most physical activities because of this and easily discouraged to even attempt most sports due to how his cabin alienated him for not being exceptionally agile, a trait associated with their cabin. it's not uncommon for his wrists and ankles to not work well (such as the twisted ankle in boo). however, he feels like he "compensates" for this by working in the shadows. when properly encouraged and supported, he prefers fighting with knives (close combat or throwing), relying on being obnoxious to throw the enemy off

[annymation]

The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite

Chapter 7- Inspire Them

Chapter 6

“You’re… a star?!”

“You guessed it!” Aster exclaimed cheerfully, flying down to the ground while doing backflips in the air, until he lands in front of her with a bright smile on his face, he bows down like a prince formally introducing himself to a princess.

“Good Asha Lucero, you have given so much happiness to others, you deserve to have your wish come true.” The star speaks more eloquently now, and it feels like these lines where rehearsed, that's because they were, for he's actually just repeating what all wishing stars say to their wish makers when they come down to earth, like it’s protocol.

That line is a reference to what the Blue Fairy says to Geppetto.

“So it shall be my honor tooOO-OH MY GALAXY IS THAT A RABBIT?!?” He sees a rabbit coming out of the bushes and gets distracted… Again…

As you can see, Aster’s not very good at following wishing star’s protocol.

Asha watches as the teenage star flies by like lightning towards the little critter, she's blown away trying to process that this is actually happening and not just a dream, wanting to ask a million questions while at the same time she's completely speechless. So all she can say in a stutter is “Umm y-yeah it sure is hehe” To answer his question. She can't help but chuckle seeing how the star is so amazed over something so simple like a rabbit.

Aster holds the rabbit’s ears up, the animal seems confused but not really minding it “Awww they're way cuter seen up close… And I was right! I told them rabbits had big ears!” The star claims victorious.

Asha tilts her head to the side “Huh? Told who?”

“A few neighbors of mine that make up the lepus constellation, see?” Aster points up to the sky, to a constellation that looks like a rabbit with very tiny ears “I told them rabbits had cute BIG ears, but they insisted their formation was good enough, it’s like they don’t even care for accuracy, really” They say while looking up with a smug, shaking his head slowly, it's like he's thinking "I told you so".

Asha gazes upon the night sky, her eyes sparkling just like the stars “… Y-yeah I guess the ears are pretty tiny hehe” she suddenly realizes what Aster just said implies... Aster is not the only one. She quickly turns to them perplexed “Wait wait slow down, are you telling me ALL the stars... ARE ALIVE??” She's breathless, looking back up at all the stars like a deer mesmerized by headlights.

Aster can't help but chuckle, she's so amazed over something that, to him, is so simple “Heh heh not aaaaall of them, but most of them, yeah." Aster explains casually while letting go of the little critter. The star turns their attention back to Asha, gazing at her with a friendly smile while floating close to her, observing her with curiosity.

Asha on the other hand is still gazing up to the night sky as she says, her voice filled with astonishment "My father used to write that we had a connection with the stars but... I could never imagine they’re actually people!" She turns back to look at Aster, her voice barely above a whisper "… Much less that they come down when they’re wished upon"

"Oooh we don’t usually come down to help at all, I’m just here because you’re a special case, Asha" Aster says, floating around her like a fish swimming in circles. 

“I am?"

He stops flying around, now just floating right in front of her to explain why he's there in the first place “See, when it comes to wishing upon a star, like myself, NO request is too extreme..." He stops for a moment as if to think how's the best way to continue his point "Although... your request to save your kingdom from the clutches of two evil rulers is… Well … A lil bit extreme, just a bit, not gonna lie… heh heh" They say sounding more high pitched and awkward than before.

"Yeah... I know" The girl looks down slightly

Aster lifts her head gently to look at him, giving her an optimistic smile "That is, too extreme for you to do it all by yourself, that’s where I come in!”

Asha’s enthusiasm slowly returns "So... You'll grant my wish? just like that?" She snaps her fingers to indicate how easy and quick it'd be.

Aster hates to bring somewhat bad news, but he tries to explain it the best they can “Eeeh no, hehe not exactly, I can’t just fix everything in the blink of an eye, that’s more of a genies thing, ya know?” They clarify while creating a genie's lamp with their star dust, manifesting it above his hand to illustrate his point.

“Huh, I see” Asha is surprisingly not disappointed by that at all, she honestly didn't think it could be that simple, besides, just having any help at all is more than enough "So what can you do?"

“Oh I can do a lot! Watch, hey Valentino!" Aster flies down, now face to face with the little baby goat "What do YOU wish for lil buddy?"

Asha looks puzzled "I thought you couldn't grant wishes"

Aster giggles as he looks up to her, the star is floating barely above the ground but he's posing like he's laying down, with their hands behind the back of his head "Hehehe It's easier to explain if I show you, but let's just say I can grant simple wishes, however, the stronger it's the want in the wish maker's heart then the more I can do!" 

"Maaa! Maa!" Valentino bleats out happily to Aster

Aster eyes sparkle with excitement upon hearing the goat's "words" "OO-HOHOO now THAT'S a strong wish! You got it buddy, here ya go!" He sprinkle some star dust on Valentino, to which the goat gladly eats all of it. Asha watches curiously, waiting to see what could her goat possibly have wished for...

And Valentino talks

"Did it work- *gasp* It did! I'm tawkin I am tawkin!" The little goat giggles, adorably hopping around the two of them, Valentino's voice is cute and high pitched, he sounds like a toddler.

Asha lets out an "awwwwn" with a huge smile and her eyes wide. She sits down to hug Valentino, not able to contain herself with such an adorable display.

"You sure can bud! Now go on, make your wish come true!" The star cheers while floating above the two of them

Asha looks up to Aster confused "Huh? But you just granted his wish"

"Nuh-uh I just wanted to say one thing, I wanted to THANK YOU!" The baby goat exclaims, nuzzling closer to Asha in their embrace "Thank you for always taking care of me! You're the best fwiend I could ask for!" He finishes, licking her nose.

The girl stares at her baby goat, completely overwhelmed by the cuteness.

"Soooo yeah, I can make animals talk! Pretty neat huh? But that's just the tip of the ice be-" Aster notices Asha was quiet, too quiet "Uuuuh you're ok?"

"*sob* yeah I-Im fine *sniff*" She hugs Valentino while petting him, sobbing at the sweetness in his voice. She really needed to hear that after the day she had.

Aster doesn't understand what sad tears are though, so they assume he just made a huge mistake "oh OH NONONO- IM SO SORRY I-I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IF HE TALKED D-DON'T WORRY ITS NOT PERMANENT! HE JUST WANTED TO SAY "THANKS" P-PLEASE DON'T BE SAD" The star is panicking, flying around and flailing his arms uncontrollably.

Asha dries a little tear from the corner of her eye and smiles at Aster "Hheheh calm down, I'm not sad, really, I just got emotional that's all"

Aster looks relieved at that, he calms down as he flies down to sit next to her

"Maaa! Maa!" Valentino is back to not talking.

"Oh so it really wasn't permanent" Asha says, as Valentino leaves her arms to hop around and eat some grass.

"Like I said, all he wished for was to say thanks, now that he did so, he has no need to speak anymore" Aster explained calmly

Asha had a thoughtful look for a moment, her eyes light up as she pieces it together in her head "... Hmm I think I get it, so you just gave him what he needed to fulfill his wish himself" Aster nodded his head quickly, excited that she got it right, Asha continued "So... What about my wish though, how will you help me grant it?" She asks to the wishing star sitting next to her.

Aster’s already big smile widens even more with the question, as they fly upward and lifts her up with one hand "I’ll be your guide! Give you all the tools you’ll need to succeed! But of course, the only one who can make your wish come true is YOU!” He boops her nose, making some star dust fly around her face

Asha feels a sense of joy come to her when the star boops her nose... But even then, the thought that everyone is depending on her makes her feel all her fears and insecurities come flowing back.

“Me? But they’re the king and queen of that whole kingdom and I… Well, I don’t even know WHO I am in all this” She admits, looking away from the star for a moment, her gaze is distant.

Aster can sense her sadness returning, and the spark of her light glowing dimmer as hopelessness fills her thoughts. His eyes turn to the side for a moment, pondering how he can rekindle her spark and make her see what he sees... Eventually, his eyes lit up with an idea, literally making his hair shine brighter like a lamp bulb turning on.

"Weeeeell I can't tell you who you are neither, that's something only you can figure out." Aster begins with a playful smile, flying to be face to face with her.

Asha notes how those words are a direct contrast to how the royal pair kept saying she needed their help to find out who she is. The star word's caught her attention.

"BUT if ya ask me, I think I might have an idea of who you are in "All this". So allow me to elaborate in the best way I know how… EVERYBODY HELP ME OUT!"

Aster exclaimed, calling upon all the living things of the forest. He uses his magic to bring all the trees and flowers to life, as well as making all the animals able to sing and dance.

And so, we get my version of "I'm A Star."

This song is quite literally the opposite of what “Wish Away” was, if "Wish Away" made Asha feel small, like she couldn’t do anything on her own and NEEDED the king’s magic, “I’m A Star” is doing the opposite of that, making her feel as grand as a celestial body, like she can do anything, and Aster is just there to land a hand, but only she can reach her dreams, and she CAN do it.

I’m A Star

[Verse 1]

Have you ever wondered why you look up at the sky for answers? Or blow dandelions in the wind? Asking them to better your chances Why throw a dime down a well? While you know that's no spell

(Aster begins to sing, extending his hand up to the sky to present all the beautiful stars above. Asha looks up to them, but before she knows it Aster grabs her attention again by pulling from behind her ear a dandelion made of star dust he just created, he shows it to her while singing the second line, Asha instinctively blows it like she indeed always did as a kid. Aster then flies away from her and to a wishing well in the woods, he makes a coin with his star dust and throws it while not even looking at the well, his gaze is still focused on Asha as she watches him sing attentively)

Things passed down generationally, to you Yes, I hear And to some unbelievers those are shoddy fallacies But have you ever wondered why you look up at the sky for answers?

(Aster makes the trees come to life, happy faces appear on them as they dance along with he music, Asha watches them in amazement, she starts getting into the mood of the song, with a giddy smile on her face. She answers "Yes, I hear" to Aster's comments, because she indeed grew up with these traditions of wishing upon dandelions, wishing wells and stars, but not thinking those will magically solve all her problems, it's just a first step to set her goals. As he sings the final line, Aster flies to above the trees, reaching to the stars with a determined and confident smile, Asha looks up to him with her eyes shining... Suddenly Aster flies back down doing backflips in the form of a ball of light, and hits the ground the song makes a "THUM" before the chorus kicks in)

[Chorus]

Well, you don't have to look too hard I'm here for all your question marks If you're tryna figure out just who you are Don't look far

(Aster stands up as soon as they land back on the ground, the animals of the forest now all sing to help him with the chorus. Upon singing the second line, Aster hits his foot on the ground, making a trail of light glow underneath the earth like roots (It's like Elsa hitting her foot down when making the castle during Let It Go), that make a giant flower grow under Asha, lifting her up to above the forest, the giant flower blooms during the third line. Asha is on it covering her eyes in fear for a moment, but Aster flies to be in front of her, taking the hands off her eyes as he sings the last line, making her look at him, he gives her a reassuring smile, making all her fears go away)

In the sky, and your front yard In your heart and in the scars If you really wanna know just who you are You're a star…

(Aster pulls her by the arms and they jump off the flower, Asha is once again startled, but when they're about to fall Aster makes another giant flower bloom, that catches them just in time, they hop on that flower and Aster once again pulls Asha to jump again, this time Asha fully trusts them and jumps without fear, knowing they'll make another flower for them to jump on. They do this during the two first lines, but as Aster sings "If you really wanna know just who you are" they spin around in the air holding Asha's hands, they both twirl in the air together before Aster throws Asha up to the sky, she floats with a little bit of Aster's star dust on her, and she looks in awe to the stars above her... Before she thinks of what Aster just said, now her face turns into confusion, as she immediately falls down in his arms)

[Verse 2]

What! But you just said YOU'RE a star! Uh-huh! Well, yeah, but you're up to par Cause' while I do bring that magic intervention Only you can reach your destination!

(Asha and Aster are now back in the forest, Aster just caught her in his arms, and Asha promptly questions what he means by saying "She's a star" when clearly he's the star here. Aster puts her back down as he answers that yes, he is a star, but he explains Asha is just as magic as he is, Aster makes some star dust flow from his fingers like tiny fireworks as he sings "Magic intervention". A bunch of animals show up around them and sing in harmony the last line. Asha looks at all of them in surprise. The whole forest is lit up with colorful lights thanks to Aster's magic.)

See, I'm more like that lil voice, in your head That suggests when you can't find your path ahead So even though I can't do all of the work for ya I'll make sure it's enough for you to shoulder!

(Aster suddenly is tiny, the size of a hand, dancing on Asha's shoulder. He whispers in her ear that he's the little voice in her head, and once he sings "Path ahead" he makes a golden path appear in front of her, made of star dust. The animals all happily follow that path and encourage Asha to follow along, she hesitates for a moment, but she takes a deep breath and makes a run for it, making little Aster fall from her shoulder as he sings the last line)

[Verse 3]

A wish is a dream that comes from your heart So I've dropped in just to do my part With my magic we'll make that dream go just as planned But I'm sure that by now you already understand:

My wish... depends on me? EXACTLY!

(Asha walks through the path, accompanied by the animals, they sing the first line to her melodically. There's some butterflies flying around her too and Asha gazes upon her overjoyed. Aster flies along side her, posing like he's laying down relaxing, saying how he's just there to do his part. He then uses his magic to create even more shiny yellow butterflies, seeing how Asha seems to like them. The music plays drums as Aster sings "But I'm sure that by now you already understand" and the butterflies fly around Asha in circles, one of them fly to her finger, Asha looks at it as she asks "My wish... Depends on me?", she sounds unsure but she's almost understanding. Aster yells the answer with contagious enthusiasm, making the butterfly on her finger fly away"

[Chorus]

For you don't have to look too hard It's all around and not too far If you're tryna figure out just who you are You're a star!

(Asha is suddenly picked up by a Iberian red deer, running with their herd behind them, all of them singing the chorus, she holds on to his horn with a smile as Aster flies in front of them lighting up the path ahead, the deer she's riding sings to her "You're a star")

Do you know you're a work of art? Even in the deepest dark If you really wanna know just who you are I'm a star!

(Aster sings the first two lines along with the other animals, while looking at Asha with eyes full of admiration. Asha however looks in shock ahead, pointing to him they're running to a cliff, Aster notices and as they jump off the cliff Aster makes Asha float with his star dust, holding her close to her with the full moon behind them, they look at one another in the eyes for a second...Valentino was also on one of the deers, and comedically passes by floating and singing with his baby voice, even though he has been "off screen" so far.)

[Verse 4]

Some say that's just too ordinary Like us stars just ain't necessary 'Cause I'm no legendary genie Granting wishes one, two and three!

(We cut to Asha and Aster back on the ground in the middle of a flower filled, Aster makes all the flowers glow like stars, making the woods beautifully lit up with splashes of color and light all around them. As Aster sings "'Cause I'm no genie legendary" he makes a yellow lamp just like the one from Alladin and hands it to Asha, as she holds it she hubs it, and out of it comes three Asters, completely yellows as they're made of star dust, each one shows up in the rhythm of each number in the line "One, two and three")

Well, my friend, just between you and me I'm way more fun, 'cause, you see I'm here to guide and make you believe YOU can write your origin story!

(Aster snaps his fingers making the lamp and all the three clones disappear in a poof of yellow glittery dust. He's now holding Asha by the shoulder and speaking close to her ear like he's about to tell her a secret as he sings the first line. He offers her a hand as if inviting her for a dance, Asha gladly accepts it and they both dance together around the dancing trees and animals. Aster lifts her off the ground and twirls her around as he sings the last line, Asha looks down at him with a radiant smile, she seems to really like that idea)

[Chorus]

You don't have to look too hard It's all around and not too far If you tryna figure out just who you are You're a star!

(Asha and Aster dance together, they hold hands an almost begin to do a waltz before Aster always changes to a more free style dance. The animals sing the chorus and copy them, with some rabbits dancing while holding their paws together, and some birds flying together in harmony with the music, Valentino is dancing to along with the animals. Aster boops Asha's nose as he says "You're a star")

No matter where you end or start We're both each other's counterparts If you really wanna know just who you are I'm a star! (Wooh)

(Asha is filled with delight as she dances freely, without a care in the world, she feels as if she could fly. She watches all the magic that surrounds her with pure wonderment in her eyes, she finally fully accepts what Aster and all the other creatures in the forest are trying to tell her, as she exclaims "I'm a star!" and all of them cheer.)

[Post-Chorus]

Ooh, I'm a star Watch out world here you are (Hey, hey) You know who's lookin' sharp? (Who?) Me, I'm a star! (Wooh) Oh, you're a star! Watch out world here you are! (Hey, hey) You know who's lookin' sharp? (Who?) You! You're a star

[Outro]

Ha-ha-ha, wooh Yes, wooh Ah-ha-ha, ho-ho

(Aster makes a light shine on Asha like a spot light, as the animals all watch her dance by herself, feeling fully confident in who she is. The star keeps hyping her up, overjoyed that her spark is back. Aster flies around her as she dances, he sings the last lines praising her, while making the flowers and leaves fly around them like colors of the wind from Pocahontas, but on the last line both him and Asha point at each other when saying "You! You're a star" and their fingers touch each other when they point. The two of them find that amusing, and on that adrenaline high energy that can only laugh and cheer together. Asha falls on the grass, laughing with overwhelming joy and exhaustion after all of this, Aster lays next to her as he celebrates.)

Asha and Aster are laying down, laughing on the grass. Flowers are growing around Aster because he's so happy. Asha is more out of breath, since ya know, unlike Aster she actually breathes. Some animals that helped Aster as backup singers start to leave the scene

"Wooh! That was great! Thank you for the help fellas!" Aster thanks the animals for their help, still laying on the floor with Asha as he waves them goodbye.

"Any time buddy!" "That was fun!" "We should do this more often!"

The animals chit chat as they leave the pair and Valentino alone in a small clearing in the forest. The girl and the star are now both gazing up to the stars while Valentino is sitting next to them, also looking up.

"Sooo did I explain well enough?" They asks her, genuinely wanting to know since this is the first time he explains to someone how wishing stars work.

"Yeah... I'm still trying to process this is all really happening and I didn't just fall from the tree branch and hit my head... But yeah I get it.” Asha says, still out of breath after everything that happened “So you’re here to help me… I assume you're all caught up on what my problem is, right?" Since he's magic she assumes they might as well know everything.

Aster confirms her assumption "The king has been changing people's wishes for years. And he changed your wish so you would become a princess locked up in a tower by sun rise, yup yup I'm all caught up" Aster elaborates quickly, while trying to smell some of the flowers that grew around him, but disappointingly realizing he can’t smell anything.

(Aster has been keeping up with the rewrite y'all)

"I have no idea on how to stop them" Asha breathes out, her voice comes out as almost an whisper

Aster is still staring at the stars as they say "On your own it would be pretty hard" But then he turns his head to look at her "But lucky for you, your magic guide here already got it aaaaaaall figured out" They have a cheeky grin

Asha sits up in surprise "You do??”

"Yuuuup!" He begins to illustrate his plan using his star dust, creating the image of the castle "King Magnifico is gonna release the wishes from his tower any minute now" the star dust castle illustrates the wish bubbles coming out of it, then Aster creates the image of a sleeping Asha with his other hand "While you sleep, I'll keep an eye out for that cursed wish bubble the whoooole night long, then when it shows up I can just grab it before it reaches you" Aster illustrates the wish bubble approaching her, and he grabs the small orb with his own fingers.

“And just like that you... You can stop it from coming true?” Asha asks slowly, it feels almost too good to be true.

“Of course! That "wish" turned curse won't get even close to you while I'm around here” He sits up as he says confidently. He then chuckles a bit at that, realizing the irony “Heheh it’s kinda ironic ain’t it? A wishing star stopping a wish from coming truuu- wOAH“

Aster is caught off guard by Asha hugging them.

“THANK YOU! ASTER THANKYOUTHANKYOU THANK YOU!!” Asha isn't usually much of a hugger, but in this case she just can't contain how happy and relieved she feels “Aster I was just… So scared, you have no idea, that they’d take me away and- Thank you...“ She finally feels like everything will be alright

(She doesn't know she's in a story written by an angst loving writer, so everything will NOT be alright my friends)

Aster is... Well this IS their first hug, ever, it feels very foreign to him... It feels… New.

The star can't quite describe what it is, it's like happiness but somehow... Stronger... If someone was to describe this feeling to him, he'd think it couldn't be true.

They return the hug of course, holding her tight as his eyes close shut “Heh don’t mention it, I’m your wishing star, of course I’ll protect you.”

(hmmm would you say you’d protect her… At all cost????)

Aster wanted to stay like this for as long as they could but... Suddenly some quiet orchestral instruments start playing in the background, they sound messy and without harmony. Aster's eyes are shot open and they quickly lets go of the hug "A-and everyone else in Rosas too, since ya know, that was uh- your wish heheh" he stumbles over his words nervously.

Asha doesn't notice the awkwardness in his voice, she just gets up, feeling her confidence returning, reassured that she does have a chance of winning with Aster by her side.

"… Yeah- YEAH! We can do it, I can make them see the truth, now that I have your help!" She speaks passionately, ready to take on anything the world throws at them "What can we do to save everyone else?"

Aster flies off the ground, looking just as excited as her "I'm glad you asked! Here's my plan" Once again, Aster uses his star dust to illustrate his plan quickly: "First! We get in the castle. Then we free all the wishes. Everyone gets their wishes back. They all learn that they should make their wishes come true through their own efforts. BOOM. They get "Something more for them than thisss"!" he sing songs the last phrase at the rhythm of "This Wish"

Aster eagerly waits for her reaction to his… “plan”. Asha is smiling but... She knows that's a terrible plan, however, she doesn't want to be rude.

"Umm... Its a good idea but... I think we can workshop that a little bit." She says as kindly as she can to not hurt the star's feelings.

"Yeah yeah of course! this is OUR plan after all" Aster is floating like he's laying down on his cape, like it's a hamrock in mid air. The star is over confident that this is indeed the perfect plan.

Asha takes a deep breath before explaining "Well... If we simply free the wishes, I don't think the people of Rosas will want them back, you know? They want their wishes GRANTED by the king himself, it would take a lot of convincing to make everyone want to grant their own wishes. Not to mention most of them were changed by Magnifico so now they're curses."

As she speaks Aster start floating down and down and down with every word, realizing the situation is a bit more complex than he expected, he's sitting on the grass now with his legs crossed.

"... Huh... I didn't think about it that way" He admits, sounding a mix of embarrassed and disappointed in himself "This... Guiding thing... Might be a bit harder than I thought" their voice is quiet as his hair that moves like a flame (I don't think I've emphasized this enough, his hair is a reference to Hades hair, ITS ALWAYS MOVING) starts to shine less brightly.

Asha notices the star insecurities, so now it's her turn to cheer him up, she sits next to Aster and holds their hand. Aster's eyes light up when he feels her hand on his, he listens attentively to what she has to say

"Hey don't worry, it won't be easy, but thats okay, we just need some time to plan this out, together. You said it yourself, right? You can't do all the work for me, and I don't want you to. Just having you here to help already changes everything... I'm really glad you're here, Aster" She gives him a warm smile, her eyes locked on his.

His hair lights up again, even brighter than before, and more flowers bloom around them. "... Yeah, I'm glad I did come down here." The star says, a smile growing in the corner of his lips, his eyes sparkling. Aster doesn't have a heartbeat but if he did it would probably be beating like a storm in their chest.

Asha is quite literally oblivious to the effect she just had on him. She simply gets up again and changes the subject. "We can think on a plan tomorrow, now I gotta go home and-" She stops, realizing that if she goes home she's gonna have to explain everything to Dahlia "Oh my-how am I gonna explain YOU to Dahlia and her parents, or explain why I ran away like that... " She places a hand on her forehead, now walking side to side worriedly.

Aster starts floating again, with a knowing smile on his lips "Mayyyybe you can sleep in a different house tonight" They state with a childlike mischievousness in their voice

Asha looks at them confused "Huh? What house?"

Aster turns her head with one finger, making her turn around to looks what's behind her.

"How about that one?"

Asha then sees...

(Pretend this picture is at night time please)

"That's... That's my old home, where I grew up" Asha feels a warmth in her heart, it's a feeling of nostalgia and comfort, she hasn’t been in there for a long time.

Aster still has that same knowing smile, his eyelids are relaxed as he comments "Really? Huh what a coincidence..." it's not like he guided that whole musical sequence to lead them here or anything- what? What you talking about? "WELP let's get in then!" The star flies to the door like a dash of light.

"W-wait Aster, the door is locked-" Asha warns him but-

Aster uses his magic when touching the door, making it glow yellow for a moment, and just like that, It's open "Not for me, it isn't heheh"

Asha smiles, yeah, of course they can open doors too.

We have a small time skip, cutting to them inside the house. It's a cozy small cottage with, even though it looks a bit dusty from it's time abandoned it's still quite organized. It's faintly lit with candles, but Aster's hair and cape pretty much light up the whole place a lot more.

Valentino is soundly sleeping on a pillow, while Asha is sitting on the dinner table, drawing on her sketchbook... Drawing Aster of course, because what else would an artist do if they met someone who was literally 2D animated in real life?

(“But Anny shouldn’t she go to sleep?” SHE WILL GO TO SLEEP AFTER I GET MORE CUTE INTERACTIONS OUT OF THEM)

She's also eating some berries that animal critters got for her offscreen, ya know, because Aster asked them to, and she didn't have dinner. While she draws, Aster is flying all over the place, taking a closer look at EVERYTHING inside the house.

"Wow, I could never actually see how human houses looked like from the inside! It's way more spacious than I thought"

Asha can't help but laugh at that statement "Ha! Now that's funny coming from someone that lived in SPACE, which I gotta ask... How was it like? What did you do up there?" Her eyes sparkled with curiosity

"Oooh ya know, the usual, watch the birth of super novas, throw asteroids as far as you can, sometimes guess where a new solar system will form next, just a bunch of boring stuff" The way Aster says it makes it seem like those are the most mundane things ever. He says while admiring a fork in his hands.

(Ariel coded. Aster is Ariel from space y'all)

Asha hears the star describe all those things in awe, after all she also really likes astronomy.

"None of that sounds boring at all, and I still got a thousand other questions!" She says excitedly

Aster is just as excited to answer them. But then he notices Asha's sketchbook is open, that gives him an idea.

"Well then ask away! I'm an open book, or rather..."

Aster jumps INSIDE her book, shrinking down to the size of her finger, now he's black and white, and is animated with more rough sketchy animation, as a reference to animation tests, like this (2D Mirabel my beloved)

GIF by scurviesdisneyblog

"I'm IN an open book! heheheh" He giggles, there's no reason for them to do that other than he wanted to see if it was possible, and of course it is.

Asha looks at the now moving Aster sketch on her book, she's stunned for a moment, but then again that's not even the most impressive thing Aster has done today.

"O-Okay so umm, you mentioned earlier that not all stars are alive, right? Just some... So how does a star gain life?" She asks, like she's interviewing him for research.

Aster walks around the pages of her sketchbook as he explains "When we are wished upon for the first time by a mortal! I got my first wish about 18 years ago more less, and that's when I gained life" He jumps to a different page, now with some animal sketches drawn on it.

"Oh... We're the same age then" Asha mentions, somewhat surprised, but at the same time it does make more sense than Aster being a 100000+ year old, after all he acts like just a teen… When he’s not acting like a kid that is.

"Guess we are! Happy birthday by the way!" Aster says as he brings some animal drawings to life, they begin to run around him "Hehehe Though can you imagine if you WERE my first wish maker? I would've shown up here looking like a new born star, an actual baby, now that'd be awkward wouldn't it?"

(...Yeah Aster, that would be very strange... Thank goodness it never happened... Am I too salty?)

"Heh I guess so, and uh do ALL the stars look and dress like you?" She goes on to the next question.

"We always pick a different form depending on what's more fitting for our wish maker, I picked this form because… Well- You were in need of help like a princess in a fairytale, so I thought the princey looking clothes would fit the occasion" Aster's now in a different page with the drawing of a tree, he's hanging around from the branches

Asha is slightly put off by the comment, she had enough of this "princess talk" after what happened in the castle that night.

"I am NOT a princess though" She corrects him with one eyebrow raised up.

Aster drops from the tree branch "Oh I know! You're just pretty like one" He says innocently, like he's just stating something that's clear as day.

Asha blushes, getting flustered by that sudden compliment... She didn't expect a literal star to find her pretty.

(NEVERMIND HE LITERALLY SANG "DO YOU KNOW YOURE A WORK OF ART EVEN IN THE DEEPEST DARK" A FEW MINUTES AGO LIKE GURL HE IS NOT BEING SUBTLE)

"Heh heh wow-okay um... Honestly when I first saw you I assumed you were like... A sorcerer or something" She tries changing the subject, assuming they're just saying that to be nice.

" Pffft a sorcerer?! Nooo nonono if I wanted to come off as a sorcerer I would've dressed myself something more like this"

He snaps his fingers, changing his clothes to look like Mickey’s sorcerer apprentice outfit, because Disney reference babeeeeyyy.

"Though the hat is a bit too big isn't it? I don't think it suits me heheh" He chuckles as the hat covers his eyes.

Asha giggles at that in amusement "Hihih I think you look great either way" 

Suddenly, a gust of wind blows through the window. The pages of the sketchbook flip rapidly because of the wind, throwing Aster off the book

“WOOOOOOAAAH!!!” He screams as he gets back to their normal size, before he knows it he's thrown inside a closet

Asha gets up instantly to check if he’s alright "ASTER?! YOU OKAY?" she asks worried

The star is just laughing without a care in the world, laying inside the closet full of old belongings of Asha and her family. "Woooo hahahah yup! Need more than a little wind to-“ Aster notices something in the closet that caught his attention “Hey, what's this?" Aster gets up from the closet, holding a mandolin.

"Oh… that's my Saba's old mandolin, I guess I forgot it here" Asha looks at the instrument with a smile that was somewhat nostalgic, but also mournful. She expected the memories of him would come flowing back by them just being in the house, but it still caught her by surprise.

"Did he play?" The star asks curious

"Actually... No. I never seen him playing it, I even asked him to teach me a couple of times but he was never interested" She sounds sorrowful as she passes her fingers through the cords.

"Huh... I see" Aster can kinda guess why that is… But they prefer to keep the information to themselves.

She's still paying close attention to the instrument in her hands, looking at it with downcast eyes "You know… I wish he did teach me, I don’t know how to play any instruments… But Saba always seemed disinterested in-“ 

Asha notices Aster started shining brighter and giggling more than usual all of the sudden… Also he’s shaking his arms around rapidly, leaving smear frames like he has multiple arms, ya know since he’s 2D. Soooo yeah, they’re stimming.

“Umm... You doing okay Aster?" Asha asks holding the mandolin close to her.

Aster floats now with his face is close to hers "You "WISH" you say?! Weeeell I can help with that!" His voice is full of glee, like the simple word “wish” coming out of Asha’s mouth filled him with energy

"Y-you can? But how? You can’t change the past" Asha is more confused than ever

"Nope! Buuut I can use my magic to give you a taste of what it would’ve been like if he DID teach you! Here, let me try something”

Aster extends his hand, asking her to hand them the mandolin, Asha isn’t sure where this is going but she trusts the star completely, so she gives it to him. Aster begins spreading his star dust on the cords of the mandolin, making them shine brightly. The cords start playing many different melodies by themselves, as if every song ever played in that instrument is being played again all at the same time. Aster then makes that shine on the cords return to him, the mandolin stops playing and now Aster has a light flickering on the tip of his finger, you can almost hear the faint sound of music coming from that light. Aster reaches out, getting that finger closer and closer to Asha's face

"Aaaaand BOOP!” Aster boops her nose with his shiny finger, making stardust sparkle around her face. She blinks a few times, not understanding what just happened. ”There! Try it now!" Aster says as he hands the Mandolin back to her. Asha looks at the mandolin, then back to Aster, who’s staring at her with a big smile, eager to see what she’ll do next.

She holds it to try playing it, not sure what since she doesn’t know any songs- wait...- But she DOES. Asha’s eyes light up when she realizes that now she can remember so many melodies in her head, like the knowledge was always there. The chords, the music notes, it all comes naturally to her as much as speaking and reading. And so, her fingers dance through the mandolin, creating a beautiful melody, a smile grows on her lips.

"Woah I- I can play it now!" The girl says cheerfully

"Yup!” The star boy flies upwards quickly, glad they could make her happy granting one simple wish… Thought he knows there’s a “but” “But it's not permanent, you'll only know how to play till tomorrow's strike of midnight" Aster explains while walking around upside down on the ceiling.

Asha looks up and asks "Why midnight?"

The star shrugs “It's always midnight" he answered simply "Anyway, it may not be the same as if your grandfather taught you but... At least you can get a feel for it before trying to learn at your own pace"

Asha chuckles a bit with that notion, most people would probably be upset if they only got to know a talent for one day, but she’s more than happy with just knowing how to play it NOW, and yeah, she can try learning how to play by herself later.

She looks at the instrument as she says:

"Thanks, Aster. Though I don't think I'll have the time to play it tomorrow, we gotta figure out how to defeat the king and queen, remember? And I doubt knowing how to play the mandolin is gonna help us heheh" she says that last part laughing a quietly to herself, how silly would that be? To defeat those villains with music.

"Yeah I guess it won't..." Aster speaks in a disappointed sigh while still pacing around the ceiling, sad that Asha won’t get to enjoy her wish tomorrow… But then… an idea pops up in the star’s head. His hair lights up like a lamp once again. The boy JUMPS and does some backflips before landing on the table with wide bright eyes and a huge smile. "What if it COULD help though???" He exclaimed, now standing on the table.

"...What?" Asha asks with one arched eyebrow

Aster starts walking circles on the table like they’re thinking on the details of their new plan "Wait wait wait let me think... Yeah YEAH I KNOW! Asha! YOU can INSPIRE THEM!" Aster says pointing a finger to Asha, smiling ear to ear.

"Inspire who? Huh?? What you talking about???" Asha is now hugging the mandolin walking backwards, not understanding what’s going on right now.

Aster tries lowering his energy as he speaks more calmly "Think about it, why did the king and queen want your wish soooo much in the first place?" He asks, now sitting on the table with his legs crossed.

"Uuh because they're evil" She states the obvious fact with a deadpan expression.

"Ok yeah that too- BUT they wanted it because they were afraid you could INSPIRE people, that's their weakness! They depend on the people believing in them, trusting them with their wishes, so if we want to win we gotta. Break. That. Trust” He says emphasizing each one of the last three words by hitting his finger on the table.

"And you think we can do that... By playing music?" Asha gives him a look that can only be described as an “… seriously?” Expression, she’s not confident in that idea, not in the slightest.

Aster on the other hand is just as confident in that idea as he’s confident that the sun will rise tomorrow. So they continue:

"It's a start, you can inspire the people of Rosas with music so that they at least THINK about wanting to pursue their own wishes, you said it yourself, that we could only return the wishes to them once they learn they shouldn't depend on king Magnifico" Aster says, now floating closer to Asha with that same bubbly smile that doesn’t seem to ever leave his face.

Asha tries to patiently explain to him why that’s not a good plan "Aster, it's a lot more complicated than that, I mean, how would we even know if I'm actually changing anyone's minds?"

Aster doesn’t miss a heartbeat and exclaims "I'd know!"

"…huh?" Asha eyes squint.

The star once again has his face reeeeally close to Asha’s, their noses almost touching, so she looks him directly in the eyes "I can SEE people's beliefs! Their wants! Their dreams! My eyes can see all that as plainly as a smile on someone's face. If, or rather, WHEN anyone feels inspired by you, I will know" The star is shining like the sun now, somehow it doesn’t hurt Asha’s eyes though, but she still not fully convinced.

"And you... Really think I can change their minds?” Her voice is full of doubt now, both in herself and in the notion that the people of Rosas can ever change that easily “I was seen as a weirdo in the kingdom for years, and after what happened today... They must see me as something worse, how can I change anything?" She looks at the star with a saddened expression.

And once again, Aster reassures her with a bright smile and some words of wisdom "You just gotta believe, believe in yourself all the way, implicitly and unquestionably-

(That’s uh… that’s a reference to an Walt Disney quote, cause like, I’m shocked that Disney’s 100th anniversary movie had none of those, and also it’s really fitting for Aster’s character… sorry for the interruption, let’s keep going)

- believe in yourself as much as I believe in you! I'll be there to help you. It won't be easy but we gotta start from somewhere, right?… And I REALLY think if anyone can inspire them it's you, Asha."

The thought never crossed Asha’s mind before but… The way Aster talks to her almost feels like they know her for a long LONG time… But maybe that’s just how wishing stars talk to their wish makers in general. Asha thinks for a moment… Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at least try…

"... Yeah I guess... It does sound fun to play music with my saba's mandolin like I've always wanted...” She looks at the instrument, but then a worrisome thought came to her, she looks back at Aster and asks “But how are YOU gonna be there with me? We can't let people see you"

Aster smirks as he starts floating towards the entrance of the house "Oooh hohoho way ahead of you! Watch this.” He gets out, closing the door behind him. Asha sees a huge flash of light coming from the windows, she looks at the door confused until… Aster walks back in. Emphasis on WALKS, not float. For he’s no longer a 2D animated glowing boy… He’s 3D just like Asha and all the rest of the environment. Asha is startled for a moment because she almost couldn’t recognize him now that he looks like… A real person.

“Ta-da!” He says walking in while twirling around, showing off his new form. His cape no longer has star dust flowing out of it, and his blonde hair no longer moves nor shine, and the star mark on his right eye is gone.

All Asha can say is amazement is “...Wow”

The star was just interesting to look at before, since he was a moving drawing. But now… Now Asha felt a bit more when looking at him, her heart starts beating faster.

Although he does looks like a real person his movements feel… Off, like their animation is in a different frame rate compared to everything else, his movements are slightly quicker.

(In case you haven’t noticed yet Aster is a walking animation study)

"Pretty neat huh? I feel so heavy now hehe" He jumps a few times, like they’re getting used to the gravity

"Wait wait wait did you just turn yourself into a human??" Asha asks while walking towards him to take a closer look.

"Naah, I wish." He whispers the "I wish" part more to himself "This is just a disguise, all wishing stars have one, though I can't actually use my powers while in this form" The boy says while checking his new appearance on a mirror hanging on the wall "But hey, not like I'll need my powers to help you inspire people, that will be all you! I'll be there just to hype up the audience" He says excitedly

Asha feels her insecurities creeping in at the mention of an audience "... We can't bring too much attention for ourselves though, SPECIALLY from the king and queen, they'll probably think that cursed wish changed me, so they'll be looking for me"

"I can keep an eye out for them… Aaaaand" Aster runs towards the closet he fell in earlier, and grabs another item that caught his attention beside’s Sabino’s mandolin… It’s a purple bluish cloak, the same cloak from the movie that references the fairy godmother’s cloak.

“My mom’s cloak…” Asha says warmly as Aster hands the piece of clothing to her

"They won't recognize you like this, from the top of their palace you'll look like just any street performer" The star's voice is filled with trust that everything will be alright, and Asha feels that trust too as she holds the cloak close to her heart.

"Yeah... Okay, we'll do it! Tomorrow morning at the plaza" Asha announces decidedly 

“Alright!" The star jumps up, realizing he can't fly in that form so he looks slightly confused when he lands back down, he feels a bit embarrassed by that "Heheh... But hey, speaking of that cursed wish of yours... shouldn't the wishes have already been released from the tower?" Aster says looking out the window.

"... I honestly don't know what time of night the king usually releases them, I'm always already asleep when that happens... *yaaaawn* and speaking of which, I should probably go to bed now" Asha says, walking to her old room with tired eyes

"Great idea, I'll be on the roof to watch out for that cursed wish!" The star says as they turn back to his 2D appearance so they can fly to the roof

"Good night, Asha!"

"Good night Aster"

Aster flies to the roof and lays down, to protect Asha. The young star relaxes looking up to the night sky.

…

And then

We hear the sound of instruments.

Violins, flutes and bells all playing quietly but erratically.

We then see a new emotion that Aster hasn't displayed before form on his face...

Aster looks annoyed.

The young star rolls his eyes, speaking in a tone reminiscent of a bothered teenager

"Wow, I barely even started and you guys already think I’m doing this all wrong? A little bit of trust would be nice"

The instruments play again, as if to answer to what he just said

"Yeah I knooow it's gonna take a while to grant this wish, but hey, if it was a simple wish I wouldn't be here in the first place, now would I?"

The instruments play again, more aggressively

"I may be young but I deserve to be here just as much as anyone else... I know I'm doing things differently but... She needs me"

The instruments play again

"NO THIS IS NOT-"

He stops himself from yelling, Asha might hear, he looks up to the stars with a glare.

"*sigh* This is NOT about me wanting to stay here longer than I have to, I'm just doing things MY way, just give me a chance, I know what I'm doing..."

…

Silence.

…

All Aster hears now are the sounds of the night, like crickets and the wind

The star turns their gaze now to the castle in the distance

“… I know what I’m doing.”

Chapter 8

Final thoughts

Does he though?

And WOW that was a looooong chapter of just two characters talking to each other huh? Well I hope y’all enjoyed the cuteness because it’s aaaaaall going downhill real soon :3

So just getting one thing out of the way, about this last scene of Aster talking with the stars… I wrote that whole scene while listening to “I’m still here” from Treasure Planet to get my head in the misunderstood teen vibe, just so you guys get an idea.

It’s not like Aster was faking his upbeat personality,obviously not, they don’t fake anything, it’s more like they have layers… like an onion 🧅. With Asha and everyone else he’s the happy optimistic little ray of sunshine that believes wholeheartedly that “🎶No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, that dream that you wished will cooooome true🎶” and all that jazz.

BUT with the stars, he’s treated like a kid, when they feel like a teenager and wants to be treated as one. My point is he’s more than a happy face, he’ll have an arc and be a rounded character.

And don’t worry, the stars ain’t antagonists, they’re more of a true neutral party. Just observing… Yeah.

And if you think “that plan of inspiring people with music is not a good idea” why yes, I know, but that’s Aster plan, aka the guy who takes ✨If you believe you can do it✨ as gospel, and don’t get me wrong I agree with believing in your dreams, but Aster will come to learn what that REALLY means, and what it really means to be someone’s guide.

This plan WILL lead to something good for Asha and Aster… buuuut it’ll also lead to something real bad, so ya know, Aster gets a reality check, and Asha will get some character development… Yippee 🥳

Hope you guys enjoyed this Magnifico and Amable free chapter because they’re coming back right in the beginning of chapter 8 hahaha say bye bye to the good vibes.

As always

Thank You For Reading!

[grubbin22]

Hey! I just wanted to say holy fart I finished smooth operator and you’ve inspired me to finally start working on my own ingo and (totally not self insert) fic. Your writing was fantastic like jfc and it lifted my spirits through my finals

Do you have any tips for a beginner fanfic writer though? Like what gets you inspired and how do you stay focused on editing and such

But all in all i really enjoyed smooth operator, the character felt like my fiery spirit and it was just healing :) so thank you

hello anon! i’m so happy to hear you enjoyed smooth operator 🧡 i hope your finals went well for you, and thank you for sending me this kind ask!

i’m not sure if i’ll be very eloquent with advice given that i’m self taught, so i’ll share what i do when i’m writing!

1. i read as much as i write. reading teaches me not only the craft of storytelling, but also what i enjoy—whether that be a writing style, genre, or turn of phrase!

2. i think about writing my daily life and wonder how i would write it. this is an odd one. sometimes when i experience something i think, ‘how would i write this?’ or, ‘how would i describe this?’ those moments become inspiration i can pull on later. thinking about writing in my daily life lets my experiences uplift and inspire me. this, alongside reading the works/experiences of others, helps me experiment and create.

2. i try not to edit while i’m actively writing. i often want to backtrack to edit my work while i’m writing it..this ultimately costs me more time and exhausts me. so my rough drafts are always Rough. i only edit once i’ve gotten all my thoughts on the page.

3. i never delete my scrapped work. i have hundreds upon hundreds of pages of scrapped writing. fics i never finished, paragraphs i cut out and never reused, scenes that never went anywhere—that sort of thing. unused work is useful to me. i could end up reusing it in a different way, or it can even become a launchpad for something new :D

4. i write what i enjoy. i once read that i should never be writing for the audience. i should write for me—that means writing whatever i want, whenever i want, however i want. i think this is my favorite piece of writing advice that i’ve ever seen.

along that note, i always try to make sure i’m having fun! writing a fan work should not feel like a chore. it may be challenging at times, but if i’m feel utterly miserable, it may be a sign for me to step away for a moment.

if i’m having trouble continuing or starting to write, i find a scene i really, really want to write. it can be anything—even something i don’t think i’ll ever incorporate into a published work. i find that scene, that blurb, or that strand of dialogue, and write it. the more self-indulgent the better! starting something can be the hardest part, so just getting a few words down is a cause for celebration :D

i rambled on a bit..i hope this was somewhat helpful. in the end, writing styles & techniques include a lot of trial and error, so everyone finds a method that works for them. i wish you the best of luck!

i believe this is the same anon, so i want to say congratulations! i’m honored to have inspired you, and i’m cheering you on 🫶

best of luck with your fic!

🧡 grub

[vickyvicarious]

So, I noticed something kind of interesting today. Seward's diary never mentions Renfield by name. And that's not totally out of the ordinary for him - I went back and looked, and there are several other times so far that he doesn't name him (18 June, and 1, 8, and 19 July). But in each of those entries, Seward is entirely focused on figuring out Renfield; nothing else is discussed at all. Not naming him is simply because each entry is continuing the same thought/preoccupation. And in fact, on both the 8th and 19th, he calls Renfield "my friend" - the lack of name is not due to emotional distance.

But today it felt more like that. We haven't heard from Jack's diary since the 24th of August, when Renfield escaped on his own terms briefly rather than taking the intentional opportunity given to him. That whole "plan" was a huge unprofessional mess on Seward's part, and I wonder if he realized that at least a little. He went quiet for a good few days, until he heard from Arthur, and then in his treatment of Lucy we see him being a much better doctor and friend than he's ever been to Renfield. Where he's drugging Renfield to sleep so he can go through his journal, with Lucy he is very respectful and makes sure he has consent to share medical information. And so on. Obviously he thinks of Lucy and Renfield in very different ways and has different standards for what is acceptable to do - or even considered as an option.

But I still find it interesting that when we see him writing about Renfield again, this first entry feels a lot more removed than before. It feels like Seward is trying to be more professional and less emotionally involved. He names Renfield at the start by his supposed disorder ("Zoöphagous patient") and at other points refers to him again by role ("my patient") or what he represents ("a wonderfully interesting study"). But he never calls him by name or by any more affectionate nickname such as 'my friend'. He also notes his madness multiple times, musing about madmen and lunatics and wishing he could understand his mind.

A part of me wonders if there is a slight element of Seward recognizing just how out of control his own behavior was getting, and trying to rein it in. It would make sense for him to be doing so either after the escape plan went wrong (and Renfield was furious with him in particular, and he ended his entry saying he'd never forget that night) or after the company of people like Lucy and Van Helsing helps to sort of forcibly reconnect to friends who keep him more humane/sane himself. As well a patient he deeply cares for and wants to treat respectfully (Lucy) potentially making him feel a bit off-balance in how he is treating his 'other' favorite patient (Renfield).

I do have to point out how all of this more distant wording is just dehumanizing Renfield in another way, of course. And it doesn't seem like much about Seward's actual behavior has changed - he still folds pretty easily in the face of Renfield's "cringing" supplication/flattery, and thinks he is indulging him in order to better understand. He still is obviously fascinated by him and takes a strong personal interest in his care. But it feels a little bit like the way he talks about it is at least trying to be more distant.

...Though maybe that's partially just his melancholy. Seward talks multiple times today about not understanding/wishing he could understand Renfield. And for the most part, it reads as more frustrated/downtrodden than previous times. He doesn't have much speculation to offer until the very end of his entry. Is it possible that he is feeling a bit upset about not being able to figure out Lucy's illness, and it's spilling over?

And there's of course the really eloquent line in the middle of this entry describing how he feels returning to "all the grim sternness of my own cold stone building, with its wealth of breathing misery, and my own desolate heart to endure it all." That makes it sound a lot like his time with Lucy and Van Helsing (and talking to Arthur) was really good for him. He needed this friendly socializing, and even if the circumstances weren't ideal, he got to spend time with people who genuinely care for him. Who aren't just using him when they ask for things, who are just as eager to help him, who like him for who he is and have fun being with him. And then he goes back to the asylum.

He doesn't truly like it here. It's not good for him, he's at his worst when he's isolated here. And yet I wonder if, upon his return today, knowing Van Helsing has left and that he's returning (at least mostly) to his customary isolation, he feels much more aware of that than ever. In the past, he's thrown himself willingly if not eagerly into his work, but even the fascination he still feels doesn't seem to boost his mood today. I think he's feeling lonely.

I also think he's feeling a little bit of resigned "this is where I belong" and his more distant language reflects that. It's not just Renfield, after all. It's Lucy, too - he's been calling her by first name in his letters to Arthur, but today in his private diary he calls her "Miss Westenra". And it's not just because he's talking out loud, because he's called her "Lucy" in his diary before. So the more formal address today seems to fall in with the pattern happening with Renfield too. He feels alone, he feels lonely, and so his wording displays less connection to others.

[anothertransauthor]

Ok I’m antsy to write something starting out just to see what I can do. I’m going to start with the ABC sfw list first for the band + Charles. If you want to see any additional characters you can comment or ask!

ABC Headcannons (SFW) Nathan Explosion

Summary: like I said this is Nathan’s full ABC list. I’m going to be as detailed as I possibly can for your viewing pleasure ;). I’m feeling Pickles or Murderface next.

Warning: slight angst // dipping into they’re toxic traits they’re learning to overcome

Word count: 4,410 words (oops!)

.. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Nathan is a bit apprehensive at the start of your relationship due to his rocky previous ones. He likes you, don’t get him wrong, but he’s never really gotten the chance to get so close to someone like he has with you. He’s still trying to wrap his head around how he hadn’t scared you away when he thought you were just some fan. Still you wiggled your way into his Iron Maiden heart, open for you to remove the defensive impalers he’d put up.

After he’s learned to accept the affection you bestowed upon him graciously, and patiently might I add, he uses the tactics he’s learned from you to be a better boyfriend. He asks about your day, genuinely enthralled by your voice. Nathan swears he could listen to you for hours even if you really weren’t talking about anything.

Massaging his shoulders and back was always the key to calming him down whenever he was insatiably irritated. He figured it would surely get his message across to you, who doesn’t love the intimate act of vanquishing the poisons of a stressful day with your own hands? It didn’t matter where you were, if you weren’t having a good time he’d find some way to expel the tension. Say you were backstage with the band after a show and you were overwhelmed with the lights and the noise, he’d take your hand and gently massage it thoroughly. He’d roll his thumb pads over each finger, each knuckle- no joint left aching. Even if he only held one hand, every inch of that hand would be tended to. If they were cold, clammy, and anxiously shaking, they were surely warm and quelled now. Despite Nathan’s stature, despite his large hands, and despite what his attitude had lead you to believe, he was gentle with his hands.

When all else failed, Nathan resorted to what he was best at to convey just how much he adored you. Writing was always Nathan’s go to outlet to organize the scrambled thoughts in his mind, it’s apparent in his music- brutal poems that paired with equally intense music. Racing thoughts and far away words always made more sense when he put the pen to the paper, the unmoving paragraphs further cemented everything he felt. You had started a notebook to house all of the eloquent letters he’s written for you to remind you that at the end of the day you were the one he’d return to. Your heart was home to his.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend?)

Nathan is all about going out and doing things with people he’s particularly friendly with. Expected to go on your fair share of road trips and lots of camping. It’s all the activities he enjoyed with his dad, he considered him a friend so why wouldn’t he bring his friends along for the experience?

You never took Nathan to be a survival buff, but given his himbo nature you weren’t that surprised. He’s taught you a lot about being in the wilderness whenever he had time between records.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Oh my gods, if his arms aren’t constricted around you he will not sleep well that night. Your warmth has become so incredibly soothing to him, he falls asleep almost as soon as your head rests on his chest. Nathan is essentially a 250 pound teddy bear at the end of a rough day where all he wanted to do was wind down with you. He really enjoyed how your smaller frame slotted with his, how natural it felt to wrap his arms around you and stay like that forever.

Nathan had a 3 point plan when it came to his night time routine with you; Step one: acquire the snuggle bug (a nickname he’d drunkenly bestowed upon you when you both retired to his room after a drinking contest with pickle), Step two: profit, Step three: uhhhhh. Ok so maybe it was more of a two point plan, but his point still stands.

If the secret softie couldn’t fall asleep as fast as he’d intended, he’d watch the rhythmic rise and fall off of your chest as you slumbered peacefully against his big burly chest. His hands would slip under your shirt to rub your back, or stomach depending on how you slept that night, in idle circles. The feeling of your skin no matter if it was smooth or blemished, he never cared either way, soothed him more than he thought it could. You were real, you were here- with him! And gods did you look exhilarating in his arms, trusting him completely as you dreamed.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

There was something in Nathan that constantly made him want to impress you as your relationship grew increasingly more docile. He picked up more around the areas the two of you occupied most at Mordhaus; cleaning up the empty beer cans and putting away any stray bongs or other illicit drugs that were littered around the main room the previous night, or he’d take the time to clean his room and bathroom a tad more he usually would when it was just him. It was never about getting a deep clean, he wasn’t embarrassed to have you over when his room was messy, yet something about you made him more motivated to do more than just sit on his ass with you.

Settling down never crossed his mind until you, that was always something he’d associated with parents and old people- you settled down when you wanted to start a family and give up your career and anything that gave you substance. It was always love or hate when he thought about it. On one hand, he absolutely loved you and wanted to spend his life with you. His parents always seemed so happy with each other even after all the years they’d spent together, so maybe it couldn’t be too bad. Yet on the other hand he wouldn’t give up the band or the empire he built for you, you never wanted him to.

Who said you two had to slow down or give up to settle completely into each other? Nathan’s wanted to settle up with you, so he’d said, to never slow down or stop experiencing the fast life he was so accustomed to.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

The way Nathan would break up with you depends on how deep he was into the relationship with you. He wouldn’t have any qualms about bluntly telling you to stay out of his life if he wasn’t feeling it, and he would tell you the moment the thought arose. He’s been with a few women who’d overstayed their welcome and he’s learned not to dance around it if he wanted the comforting discomfort of his loneliness back. Alternatively, if he’s been invested, gave a shit, and was receptive to you opening your soul to him, he’d be more delicate. Whether it was a fault on his end, or you had finally had enough of his baggage he could feel it. He could feel when your laugh didn’t hold the same joy in it like it used to, your eyes didn’t look at him with the enthusiasm he’s grown accustomed to anymore. When Nathan noticed the signs, it was the most brutal pain he’s ever felt, emotionally that is. He never wanted you to feel like you were trapped with him, it’s just as bad if not worse for sticking around just because he was famous in his eyes.

Much like his affection for you, the man has to put all of his feelings, all the words he has left to say to you, and his best wishes for you all on paper. It’s not a script mind you, more of a practice for how he’d approach you. He felt pitiful as he stood in front of his mirror as you slept in the bed just feet from him, mumbling tiredly as he rehearsed the best approach. Nathan didn’t want to completely break your spirits or guilt trip you, the only thing that has brought him joy was your happiness and even if you had to find it with someone else he’d be content knowing you weren’t forcing something that had died out a long time ago.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The moment he felt like he could talk to you openly without the guard of his walls, he knew he wanted to be yours forever. Mind you this would be over the course of at least a couple of years as you grew with the band. He was a busy man and in the beginning he’d rather do anything else that sit down to have a conversation he thought he’d regret at the time.

And now here he was five years later, the best version of himself that he’s been in gods knows how long, commissioning a ring he’d deem as the perfect oath to you. He’d been planning this for the last six months, between working on the music and getting his band mates to swear on their lives that they wouldn’t fuck anything up the time has passed him by. When everything was perfect he put his plan into motion. While on some vacation he’d pull you aside, away from the band and any prying eyes and propose to you. He’d been so caught up in not crying that he definitely didn’t notice Pickle and Toki recording him while skwisgaar recovered from his preemptive cringe to see everything went surprisingly well.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

While Nathan was essentially a brick wall, he has learned to carry himself a bit lighter while he was around you. He used to be heavy handed whenever he handled you but since then he figured out how to turn the brutality meter down. Not to say he didn’t rough house with you, play fights were a guarantee.

Emotionally, it took several trials and tribulations to find that sweet spot he could handle. While he did figure out how to talk a bit easier with you there were still certain topics he’d be blunt and a little hurtful, though it’s never his intention. There’s just some things he needed to work through himself before he drug you into it.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Nathan’s arms are two heavy magnets when it comes to you. Anytime you were cooking, washing dishes, or hell just standing around, you’d come to expect Nathan to hug you from behind at any given moment.

He’d also liked to pick you up just to marvel at how light you were! He also enjoyed how you’d instinctively wrap your arms around him but don’t tell him I told you that. Any time he could have you like that he would, most often pulling you in his lap no matter where you were (it was also a tactic to scare any wandering eyes).

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Just like with the engagement, he would tell you the moment he knew he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life. It took a lot of time, you showing your love for him through your actions so you didn’t scare him off. Nathan is grateful for it and it certainly had him thinking about it. With each passing day he grew more confident that his feelings were concrete.

When he told you, it wasn’t anything special, hell if you ask him he probably wouldn’t remember what you were doing when he did. You could have been laying in bed, you humming a soft tune and he was just laying there. Whatever the case was he wanted to catch you in your most candid moment, being the you- the person he fell for, before he finally said those three magic words.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

It’s Nathan fucking Explosion. You were the one thing he truly had any incentive to keep for himself and himself alone. If he so much as catches anyone glancing your way they caught his cold intimidating glare in response. He knew better than to make a scene, the first incident nearly killed you with how embarrassed you were. He definitely pulled the “do you know who I am” card and slung a few swears, very loudly might I add.

He would take every step he could to keep you close to prevent anyone from making that move. Every possible chance he could get you were in his lap, leaning against his chest, or wrapped around his arm. It was definitely something he needed to work on, but it was gonna be a bit of a bumpy road. For now you appreciate the thought behind it at the very least.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

You had actually initiated the first kiss, but when he found his footing he found it. He was breathless as he watched you crawl over him, wanting to do something but didn’t want to scare you incase you changed your mind last minute. The kiss grew fervent quickly as his lips molded to yours in his own sloppy rhythm.

Usually when he was itching for a kiss you’d catch him staring at your lips and then quickly away nonchalantly. Other times, he’d turn your face from what ever you were doing or whoever you were talking to to steal a quick one. And no matter the length or intensity he always held so much passion with each connection.

Nathan was a sucker for kissing the top of your head. Whatever shampoo you used always seemed to lull the giant into a docile state as he hugged you from behind. Pickle mentioned it as something akin to witchcraft how fast you could switch up his mood. Alternatively, when he’d lay his heavy head in your lap he’d occasionally turn his head to kiss at your thighs. No matter how small or thick they were he adored how comfortable they were to lay on.

When it came to receiving, he was fairly partial to cheek kisses. It tickled him how gentle you were with him not matter what you did, even though you knew he was the farthest thing from fragile. As unbrutal as it was, he couldn’t help but enjoy every attack you’d unleash upon him, smothering his face in peppered kisses. In addition, he liked getting neck kisses, not even in a sexual way. Lately he’d say the most metal thing was waking up to your partner grazing their lips against his throat before following it up with a proper good morning kiss.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Children were very rarely an obstacle Nathan had come across, even when he did he had at least nough common sense not to act like a complete jack ass around them. He’d goof around, tell a grey joke and generally just get along until they could be done with the whole situation.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Nathan usually slept in so you were up before him most mornings. The man almost always had an iron grip around you preventing you from moving until you, playfully, threatened to piss the bed. Then you’d earned yourself a half asleep “ick” before the heavy limb was begrudgingly removed from you.

When both of you were finally ready for the day, the first thing you did together was stuff your faces with breakfast food and down some black coffee to shake off the rest of the sleep that plagued your systems. After a brief discussion of what your respective plans were for the day you’d go on about your separate ways.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It was never a guarantee when you’d settle down on any given night. Nathan was a busy man after all, and that included when he wasn’t doing anything music related. You couldn’t complain that’s just how the band was. Nearly constant procrastination to get stuff done was the only unchanging factor, so you were dragged around to all their adventures and shenanigans.

When you did finally retreat to the bedroom at the end of the night, the first thing on your itinerary was climbing into a shower. Lately Nathan’s skin has been breaking out from the stage makeup he wears, but fear not for you figured out a skin care routine for him. And it started with you helping him wash his face properly in the shower. Man has a 6-in-one that he uses for everything.

After showers always consisted of sitting on the bed, wrapped in towels while you talked about any and everything to procrastinate actually getting dressed and settling down. Remember how I said Nathan procrastinates everything? When you finally did get up to get dressed you very rarely went to your own closet, instead you opted just to take one of Nathan’s massive shirts so you didn’t have to sleep in pants.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It didn’t take long to realize that you weren’t going away that easily, and it took even less time for him to realize that you weren’t like a ‘normal’ fan of his. You had confided your fair share of secrets in him that he thought he wouldn’t care about. He found himself holding onto every word you said and realized that maybe he should let you in the metaphorical door. Usually it was small details or a look into how his thought process goes.

Whenever he told you something new it was seldom prompted. It was like you’d stumbled into a secret area in a video game while you were exploring, and the character you’d been trailing with suddenly drops some lore without warning. Despite how odd his patterns were it made him all the more intriguing to you, learning about him as an individual and putting the puzzle pieces together.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Patience was like a generator for him, the less stress he had plugged in metaphorically, the more patience he had. But as more and more things were piled on the battery drained faster. He tried not to be irritable around you, you never in your time with him ever gave him a reason to be mad. He didn’t want you to be in the splash zone if he snapped.

The only exception to the battery rule he had was if anything happened to you. He can remember all too vividly being at some bar full of regular jack offs with you and the band. Someone where in the background while you and the band were laughing about something Pickle had said, a bar fight had started. At first Nathan shrugged it off, it was annoying but it didn’t ruin the atmosphere. That was until one of them threw a half full bottle of Natty Light just above your head, having missed its initial target. The glass shattered and nicked your shoulder, the remaining booze that splashed didn’t do much to help the situation as you winced hardly at the stinging.

None of the band knew Nathan had hopped over the table until they heard him toss a couple of rage filled swears at the culprit.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Having always been slow to learn things, Nathan took it upon himself to keep a section of his notebook dedicated to your favorite anything. It could be as small as your favorite color or as important as an allergy you’d mentioned so he didn’t accidentally gift you something you couldn’t eat/enjoy. He would challenge himself to memorize important dates and names you’d told him in passing to surprise you when he asks about them later.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?)

The singers favorite moment in the time he’s met you would probably have to be the first time he heard you sing. As insignificant as it may seem, he did really enjoy your voice.

He was walking back to his room after having a particularly frustrating conversation with Charles. When he grew closer he could hear muffled noises that sounded like humming. Slowly, he opened the door to see you standing by the window, looking out over the rest of Mordhaus as you sang. It was a song he’s never heard but you carried it so well.

Nathan shut the door quietly and made his way over, any frustration he had faded into the back ground. His arms wrapped around your waist and he had to bite back a chuckle as you squealed. The moment was short but it was the softest he’s felt for anyone ever, and he has you to thank for that.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

Much like the jealousy segment showcased, Nathan is usually on top of everything when it comes to your protection. He’s a fuckin brick shithouse so he can handle anything physically. During the course of your relationship with him, he’s most likely hospitalized a small country worth of people who tried to make any kind of move to hurt you— being in the spot light did have its risks you know.

Security ran deeper than just what he could do physically. Having to overcome fear and rejection, he’s learned a small handful of coping mechanisms. He uses that knowledge to help you whenever he recognizes the signs of panic or in general just discomfort. Sometimes you’d have to remind him that you’re ok, that it wasn’t that serious. He just worries about you!

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Nathan’s parents were always he blueprint when it came to his perspective of love. When he got famous he never thought he’d reach it, but now that he has you he’s ecstatic to use every trick he’s observed in his youth. On dates and anniversaries expect a plethora of cliche gifts: big bouquets of roses, stuffed animals, jewelry.

He engraved each and every date that something important has happened on in his brain, and also written several times on calendars and in his notebook, so there was absolutely no chance he’d forget anything. He’s working with Charles to plan events and parties for your anniversary, the big fancy ones and not just something he’d usually throw together with the guys.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Nathan tends to shut down some days when he’d have a particularly bad dream…speaking of he’s rather private about his dreams. Any time you’d ask what was on his mind he refused to elaborate further than just “mm’bad dream..”

He was a diva in his own way, if it wasn’t perfect it wasn’t accepted. So many albums lost, green rooms wrecked, tours nearly ruined. Though it makes you uncomfortable to see him regress to tantrums sometimes, you chalked it up to the fame. These moments were small in comparison to your relationship as a whole.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Nathan takes at least some pride in his appearance, anything so he didn’t fall to Williams level. He did have an Old Spice 4-in-1: shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash. Why have so many products that all smelled different? It was a lot on his senses so he uses that so all of him was clean and smelled like…wait what did the bottle say? Congealed Liquified Corpse…it was a Dethklok x Old Spice collab. Brutal name aside, it actually made him smell earthy, piney even— it was a joke in a bottle.

Shower practice aside, he did the basics when it came to his actual appearance; he’d comb his hair, brush his teeth, wipe his ass. It did the job well enough and he was ok with how he looked.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely he would, you’d become his home. You domesticated the beast and he was forever putty in your hands. Without you, he’d feel lost. There was no hole in his heart, it was just gone— you were his heart. Any time you had to leave for some other business Charles had you doing, he’d just mope around alone in the room if he wasn’t distracting himself with the band. Even then, the party felt incomplete without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Nathan is very fluent in French, like he sounds like he grew up speaking it. He most definitely sweet talks you in French. Alternatively he would get away with saying the most outta pocket and down right filthy shit to you and no one has a clue until they see you quickly turn red.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In a partner, he really doesn’t want just some fan— he’s been burned way too many times. They’re shallow and don’t even want to know who he is as a person, it’s slimy and not to mention very one sided.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

See his thre- uhh two point plan, in the cuddle section. He won’t sleep well if he isn’t tangled up with you. In addition if you sleep with any kind of noise going on, he’d adapt and now he can’t sleep without anything going on in the background. Noticing his infatuation with the ocean lately, you introduced him to whale songs to sleep to and boy howdy is he out like a light whenever you turn it on.

Ok I got a little carried away, but I’m really proud of it! Let me know what you think of my big pushover- aha!

Keep those requests in coming! I’m loving the ideas so far. Up next is trans! Pickles x gn! Reader! What’s the plot? No body knows, babe! It it will certainly be an adventure that’s for sure!

Stay tuned, dethfans!

[humbledragon669]

S2E2 - The Clue Write Up P1 - Land of Uz (2500 BC) and London (Present Day) up to the credits

Ooh it’s been a while since got to use an in-screen caption as one of the headers and I am delighted to be able to do it again! I may well just use the same two headers as we switch between the two time periods in this episode, just for simplicity. Sue me.

There’s a tiny detail that’s been applied to this opening shot that I absolutely love – the video here has had an of effect applied to it to give it a vintage film feel. Sorry, that’s as close as I come to describing it with any sort of eloquence – I’m referring to the “fake” black marks and scratches that appear on the image briefly (you can see a couple on the header above). It doesn’t last long (only until Crawley finishes his first line), but I think this subtle little effect sets us very firmly in a cinematic (cinematographic?) context. I also feel like the colouring of the image has been altered for the same purpose – it puts me in mind of one of those historical films from the 50s and 60s, like Ben Hur and Spartacus (which I suspect is probably the whole point).

There’s something else interesting about Crawley’s appearance in this scene – his sunglasses. Cast your mind back to episode 3 in the first season (Hard Times), in which we saw him appearing without sunglasses all the way up to (and including) 33AD. I did comment on the appearance of the sunglasses in the 42AD scene in the write up for it:

I’m not sure I actually find this sudden appearance of sunglasses some 2500 years earlier all that interesting. There’s a part of me that feels that they have probably been included here because we, as an audience, have come to expect Crawley/Crowley’s costume to include a pair of stylised sunglasses by this point. I’d actually be strangely satisfied with that if it was the case – I feel like the reason behind his choosing to wear them could be so much more interesting if this was simply a “continuity error”.

Just wanted to include this because I am thrilled Aziraphale finally gets a really bad-ass entrance. How many times have we seen Crowley sauntering his way into a scene, looking like the coolest thing on Earth (and knowing it)? So glad the angel gets a turn at that here. That said. Why exactly is it that Aziraphale has happened to show up at this place and time? As we will come to find out shortly, Crawley is actually acting with Heaven’s authority so I don’t think the angel would have been sent there. It would present an interesting parallel to Crowley’s supposed knack of knowing when the angel is in trouble, but also resurfaces the suggestion about them being aware of the other’s whereabouts more often than not. I have to say, based on the conversation between them here, that seems unlikely – this exchange feels nothing but businesslike to me, cold even. Aziraphale even goes so far as to apologise (unapologetically) for having to do his job. We do learn that it has been about 500 years since they’ve seen each other, which is a nice little piece of backstory to have. I also consider it interesting to see Crowley providing a prompt to Aziraphale on how to complete his task, which provides a loose mirror parallel to what we saw Before the Beginning, that time with Aziraphale prompting his newfound friend that the incantations (for want of a better word) were not complete.

Side note: don’t you just love those little goats for staying exactly where they’ve been put? Pretty sure most animals would have scarpered extremely quickly when a huge flaming ball appeared above them, never mind having another being literally appearing from thin air in a really spiky portal of light. They must be some very calm goats.

Given the light show that Aziraphale has brought with him to make an imposing entrance on a demon, I’m pretty impressed with the restraint Crawley shows when he responds here – I mean he’s not exactly known for his patience is he? I also wonder if Aziraphale’s comment about jokes is meant to be a throwback to Hastur’s vehemence that he doesn’t like them, but the line is so throw-away that I can’t see what relevance it would add at this point. What I do find interesting is that, now we’re no longer in the “present day” of this season, we see Aziraphale struggling with his preconceived notions of right/good and wrong/evil. It’s something we saw quite a lot of in the first season, in both historical and “present” timelines. In the second season though, what with Aziraphale no longer working for Heaven, we tend to see it a lot less. We saw it in the first episode in the Before the Beginning segment, and we’ll see it again in the coming episodes, but predominantly in the historical scenes. There’s something about the fact that Aziraphale appears less conflicted about morality once he has been removed from the morality-defining authority, become more connected to humanity, and is found to be exercising his free will that I find deeply profound. No wonder the poor guy took 6000 years to realise that being Good isn’t just about following orders, especially when you consider that instruction is tied to his very existence. That whole thing is a big concept, and I struggled to put it into any words that made sense, so I hope I’ve at least been kind of clear. Basically, what I wanted to say was that I love that the historical scenes are being used as a way to remind us of the character development that Aziraphale has gone through over the millennia – they show us where he came from. And it’s not just the angel that gets this treatment:

We haven’t seen this version of Crawley/Crowley for quite a while, have we? The one that takes such delight in his mischief. And in case you missed it, we really should have known what he was up to – you can see two birds taking flight in the background behind his head, with an accompanying “caw” to draw attention to their presence.

I’m including that gif for no other reason that I find it Muriel’s impersonation of a goose adorable. I do wonder what exactly would have been deemed important though, if Job’s farm, camels, goat, oxen, children, and geese are all disposable. I’m not going to go into the underlying subtext of the bet that has been made between God and Satan here – the story itself is little changed from its original biblical source so I feel like it’s a bit out of scope for an episode write up. What is interesting to see is that the item on the list that Aziraphale balks at is the same as the one that Crowley has previously demonstrated (on more than one occasion) is his “line in the sand” for unacceptable acts – killing children. This will also be the first time, chronologically, that we see Aziraphale take his doubts to other angelic beings (some of whom are his superiors). I’m assuming his way of doing things is a little more diplomatic than Crowley’s was when he was in his angelic state, even if it is just as (un)fruitful.

This attitude towards Sitis and Job keeping their existing children rather than having them replaced with new ones says a lot about the Heavenly standard when it comes to understanding humanity and its eccentricities; his reasoning here being that it shouldn’t matter if Job’s existing children are murdered senselessly, as long as they’re replaced with an equal (or greater) number of different children. There is no appreciation of the complexities behind human relationships, desires, or emotions. I feel like it makes the fact that both Gabriel and Michael claim to understand the difference between the subtle technical differences between “killing someone” and “not stopping someone from killing someone” pretty ironic, particularly when they are taking advantage of this technicality to maintain their stance of being the good guys. And all said in such a convincing (and convinced) tone. Gabriel’s stance really only makes sense when you take it out of humanity’s context, which I think is why it’s just not something Aziraphale would ever be comfortable with.

Alright, we’ve jumped back into the present day to find Aziraphale apparently deep in thought about something. My take on it, and I think it’s a fairly common one, is that the whole Job sequence up to this point is a flashback as seen through Aziraphale’s eyes. (Side note: a cash register ringing noise is an interesting sound effect to employ to highlight the placards here, seeing as we all know the angel never willingly sells a book) There are a couple of things I picked up on during this delightful little scene, the first of which is this line:

AZIRAPHALE: I just didn’t see you coming.

I don’t think it would be a huge leap of faith to say that this line is probably not meant to be limited to this scene, but to Gabriel’s appearance on the whole. I don’t think it’s a huge revelation, I just love that it’s dropped in there so casually. And just as a quick note, I had previously wondered where Gabriel had been that he was able to sneak up on Aziraphale so easily, but it turns out that he would have been in plain sight as he approached the desk:

I love the way Aziraphale is bothered that somebody is bringing order to his chaos. It’s my belief that those books are likely arranged in such a way that only he knows how to find anything. After all, customers can’t buy books if they can’t find them, can they? The idea that somebody might actually be bringing some order to that must be distressing. It’s alright though, seeing as nobody will ever find anything they’re looking for using Gabriel’s sorting system anyway.

We also have the first reference to the Buddy Holly song “Everyday” in this scene. I’m really pleased that it was included in the second season – apparently it was something Terry was really keen to use as a device in the first season. The script book even includes stage directions that the soundtrack for most of the end credits should be stylised versions of the song. The story goes that when David Arnold presented his version of the theme tune for the first season, it was deemed to be so appropriate that the “Everyday” theme was dropped. I do absolutely love the theme tune we got. I also love that “Everyday” was brought back in for the second season. Both things can be true 😊

Last point of interest for this scene. The book that Jim reads from is “A Tale of Two Cities”. I will confess I haven’t read it, and used Wikipedia to summarise the plot, which as I understand it revolves around a central character who is compelled to disassociate himself from the wrongdoings of his family. There’s a drunken man that testifies on behalf of the main character and helps to get him acquitted of a crime. There’s a trip to Paris in 1792 that sees the main character imprisoned in the Bastille and the same man that helped acquit the main character travels to Paris in 1793 in an attempt to rescue him. There’s also a character called Gabelle, whose request for assistance in a prison escape leads to the capture of the main character.

It’s vague I’ll grant you, and I am sure I have missed a lot of the finer plot points. With that said, I don’t think I’d be alone in feeling like there are more than a few similarities to the 1793 Paris scene from Hard Times. Paris, the year, a prison rescue, and that name that’s awfully similar to Gabriel… It makes me wonder if this might be a Clue as to Aziraphale’s true purpose in Paris, and I suspect there might be a nice little project here to look at parallels between the novel and the 1793 storyline, but that would probably involve reading the original novel. In case you had missed it, time is not something I have a lot of right now, and classics bore the living shit out of me so it’s not something I can commit to so if anybody wants to take up that mantel, please feel free.

Don’t you just love that this is the first time we actually see Crowley sleeping in the show at all? There was a scene that didn’t make it to the final cut in the first season that saw him sleeping (in a bed/against a wall/on the ceiling), and one from just after he got out of bed. There is also explicit mention of his love of sleep in the book and we as a fandom have taken that cannon well and truly to heart. Yet this is the first confirmation we have in the show that he does in fact sleep. It’s a nice little touch for us to have – there really is no denying that this demon sleeps from this point on.

I made a note of Michael referring to Aziraphale as a “former angel” at the end of the first episode, and commented on how this feels like an inaccuracy. Interestingly Crowley makes an identical inaccuracy here in referring to himself as a “former demon”. To recap:

I feel the same way about Crowley and his status. I also note that Shax doesn’t correct his use of the past tense, but perhaps that’s because she’s confused at his use of sarcasm. What’s also of note is that she appears not to have any knowledge that Beelzebub and Crowley have already discussed the matter of Gabriel, likely because the former is trying to keep that under wraps. It makes me wonder if Crowley might have noticed that discrepancy had the discussion not turned to talk about the miracle that was performed in the bookshop the night before. And now we can briefly turn to the controversy that I raised from the last episode about whether Crowley actually had anything to do with said miracle:

SHAX: A miracle of enormous power happened last night. The kind of miracle only the mightiest of archangels could have performed.

So from her perspective, it looks like she believes Gabriel (as Supreme Archangel) performed the miracle himself. My theory about Crowley not playing his part in it gets pretty shaky at this point, because Aziraphale supposedly wouldn’t have been able to perform a miracle of that strength on his own. There is a “but” here. Or rather, an “unless”. What if Gabriel contributed to the miracle that was performed, but unknowingly? Possibly even unwillingly? His power, either alone or being added to that of another, might explain the colouration of the plume we see originating from the bookshop on the globe at the end of the episode. Yeah, that’s right, I’m not dropping this theory yet! It’s such a shame we don’t see any other example of plumes, because that would really either lend weight to it or completely discredit it. Shax clearly doesn’t think much of Crowley’s claim to the miracle regardless – she doesn’t even respond to him when he offers the possibility that it was him that did it.

It's also notable that Crowley makes no protestations about Shax’s label of “friend” when referring to Aziraphale. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see his face when she says it, but we do see that it’s unchanged when the close up returns to him. I’m not saying this is a denial of his true feelings, merely pointing out that this would have been hotly refuted prior to the body switch incident. Whether Crowley doesn’t care that Hell knows about his “friendship” or just can’t be bothered to argue isn’t clear at this point. What is clear, is that Shax’s threats are convincing enough that the plants are frightened – you can see (and hear) them shaking in the background:

I’m sure Crowley probably starts the car in a pass-agg response to his being threatened, but there’s a big part of me that believes he really does it because Shax has had the audacity to frighten his beloved plants. I don’t have any evidence to suggest that’s the case, but I won’t be swayed on that regardless. As a final point of note: this will be the second time Crowley has been offered the “opportunity” to help Hell and refused. He clearly has no interest in helping them – his bridges are well and truly burned as far as he’s concerned.

And with that, we’ve arrived at the credits, which feels like an excellent place to wrap this part up. I don’t think this instalment has been quite as controversial as the last one but as ever: questions, comments, discussion, always welcome. See you for the next one! 😊

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

As someone who writes and someone who reads a lot of writing, I have something I'd like to say to other creators.

At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I never leave comments. On anything. It's actually a habit I'm actively trying to break out of as I get further along into my writing career because I know how much comments mean to me and so I want to provide that for the creators I come across.

But the grand grand grand majority of work I have read and loved? I have never commented on. To this day, I have never written a review on Goodreads. Not even for books that have stuck with me since I was a child. I've never written a comment on any of the fanfiction I've read or on any Tumblr art that I come across.

I am speaking about work that has literally changed my life. There are fanfictions out there that I have remembered for years after I read them. The authors have no idea. I never wrote a comment letting them know. They have no clue how much their work meant to me and impacted me. Just yesterday I was thinking about a fan fiction I read when I was early in my teen years (so about 10 years ago or so). To be fair I don't think I could have written an eloquent comment at 13, but that's not the point. The point is that I remembered that fanfiction after 10 whole years and the creator doesn't have the slightest clue in the world that their words re-entered the mind of someone who has not revisited the work for a decade.

There are so many fanfictions that I have bookedmarked that I genuinely love to death, and I've never said anything under them. I still reread them to this day even though I bookmarked them when I was much younger. There are certain lines in them that have given me feelings that I have tried to replicate in my own writing. I hope that people who read my work can feel how I felt when I read some of the fanfics that I have saved on my phone. The creators, again, have literally no idea. Don't get me wrong: their fanfics have gotten comments from other people, but if I'm anything to go by then there are so many other people who never verbally expressed their love even though they absolutely do have love for the work.

To be quite honest I am just not the type of person who thinks to write comments. Even though I fully understand how much comments mean to creators (which is why I'm going out of my way to be better about leaving them), I just... Have never been the type of person to write about how much a piece of art means to me. A piece of art can shake me to my absolute core and imprint on me and I will never tell the person who made it how much I love it.

As someone who also creates, I know how it feels to get low engagement on work you have spent an inordinate amount of time on. I know it can be discouraging and make you feel like what you make isn't worth anything. I also know firsthand that someone can have an indescribable amount of love for what you do and keep that to themselves. I am not the only person out there like this. That's not a guess. I've heard people before say that they feel weird commenting on work that is "too old" even though they love it. Or they feel like creators don't want to get a notification for a simple "woah".

Someone can love your work dearly and not think to comment for a number of reasons. That doesn't mean that your work isn't valuable and it doesn't mean nobody loves it. And honestly? Even if your work really does only bring you joy, I still think that you should create it! But that's a point for another post. My point for this one is that a lot more people silently love your work than you realize. Unfortunately (or very fortunately depending on how you look at it) they probably outnumber the people who do comment.

So I'm sharing this with all other creators. You have so many silent lovers. Secret admirers exist in the world of creating, too, and I think that that is very important for you to remember. If you ever feel down about the fact that people may not say the things that you want them too? Consider that they're thinking it instead. Keep creating!!

[whiplimbed]

this anon has given us so much to work with my friends. and i will be responding below because i have MUCH to say

1. andrew

i have alwayssssss felt like that initial studio band class is the thing that truly killed any of andrew's chances at having/wanting a normal sex life. it is SO easy (and fun!) to imagine the way that fletcher's degradation of him and the subsequent rumination translated into his sex life in the early days– him trying to jerk off and his brain supplying nothing but critiques in a voice that sounds an awful lot like fletcher's, and every time he tries to force the thoughts away they just get louder, and maybe the first couple times he gives up because it makes him feel too weird, but eventually he's so keyed up that when it happens again, he just gives in. he plays back the memory of being hit and humiliated and degraded over and over again, and maybe eventually it morphs into being not about his drumming anymore but those same critiques of his masturbatory form, how he looks braindead like this and how revolting and pathetic and worthless he is, until he's panting and squirming and whining and coming over the fantasy of being forced to masturbate in front of everyone while fletcher further humiliates him for all to see. and then he has the post-nut clarity of the century and cleans himself and vows to never think of such things again (spoiler: he fails less than 24 hours later when he jerks off again)

i LOVE this bit of what you wrote:

"he replays that moment of pure shame so much it becomes sexualized for him, and he gains a healthy dose of self-hatred from deriving pleasure from a moment that could only be possible when he is at his worst as a musician."

because you worded that whole notion so succinctly and eloquently, it made me do this gif reaction face irl:

on the subject of the dunellen bit: one of my favorite things in my own writing with this ship is writing how they navigate the "game" side of their relationship in public and the push-pull of their power dynamic, the height of which is ofc the dunellen fight but which i think comes out more in general socialization/public interactions as their relationship progresses and it's no longer in fletcher's interest to humiliate him as a musician or in front of his peers. but yeah, i think andrew enjoys giving as much as he enjoys getting, so every time i get the opportunity to write him doing something that's embarrassing/humiliating for fletcher in public, i have so much fun. he likes hurting him, he likes humiliating him, and he also likes knowing that he'll be punished for it later on.

(P.S. you're gonna looooooove the next fic 👀 I'VE SAID TOO MUCH)

2. fletcher

i have a bit less to say on this one because i think you've already done a great job dissecting the psychology/internal conflict in this kink concept and i don't wanna just repeat what you've already said, so:

i veeeeeery much agree that fletcher likes being hurt and that he does not want to tell anyone that ever, lmao. i'm sure that, like with andrew, the dunellen incident was a major inciting factor in that aspect of his sexuality (perhaps not the origin of it, but CERTAINLY some gasoline being poured on the waning fire) because it certainly was, as you said, impressive and thrilling and shocking and humbling and so on. it was a barrier being broken, a line being crossed, the moment when all the rules of the game fell away and it was just pure animal intensity. i always think of that as being the moment fletcher realized he had someone truly fucking astonishing on his hands– not another failed experiment, not another victim, not another sean, but the real deal. i don't think he quite saw him as an equal yet, but he absolutely realized he was formidable and worthy and actually capable of taking this thing all the way. plus i think he also thinks it's hot when andrew acts clinically insane and that is 100% him at his craziest. oh to get beaten to a pulp by the shattered boy-god of my own making </3

[ava-wol]

At the Last: Part Three

Part One Part Two

Mature Themes, Highly Suggestive This post dances with bare feet on the dividing line between suggestive and explicit. If this is not your cup of tea, do not drink it. My writing will always be tasteful; you can expect the same here.

*Ava's language has been simplified to reflect that G'raha is more learned and eloquent. I intend to go back and correct it in previous entries, as well. “Then show me…” she whispered.

Her voice trembled through the stillness like a current beneath silk; and when the next words came, they were not a plea but a sacred offering.

“Make me yours in every way.”

Time stilled.

The fire crackled behind me, casting shadows across her skin like hands that reached but dared not touch. My breath heavily caught in my throat, and I felt it, felt her, not just in the words, but in the way her gaze held mine, unflinching, open, real.

I stepped forward until I could feel the rise of her chest against mine with each breath, as my robes brushed over her blouse with a soft rustle.

My hands, still gentle, moved to her waist, my fingertips grazing satin, reverent, unsure even now if I had the right to touch her as something more than memory. But her body leaned into mine, and I finally understood.

She had already chosen me.

I lowered my face to kiss her throat, breathing her in with stuttered breath. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, lost in the damp warmth and touch of it.

Gods, it was real.

“Ava,” I murmured, somehow breathing words through shuddering breath, “this isn’t a claiming. This isn’t conquest. It’s the softest vow I know how to make.”

My lips brushed her jaw feather-light.

“I will take nothing from you. But I will give you everything.”

Her breath mingled with mine, warm and thunderous between us. I could feel the faint tremble in her body, not of fear but the raw, sacred readiness that only comes when walls fall away and truth stands unadorned.

My lips grazed her throat again and I waited just long enough for her to pull in closer, for her to choose me once more. I could feel my breathing become unsteady, loud; a living thing that shivered in my throat before exhaling into nothingness. Had I been able to I would have noticed that hers did the same, but all I could hear, all I could see, all I could feel was that heady realization that I was no longer alone. She was here with me; and we were on the edge of a precipice that I would never return from once I fell.

I kissed her slowly, deeply, pushing my mouth into hers. It tasted of want stored too long in silence, of sweetness, of eternal longing, of home.

Her body responded in kind, softening, rising into mine as her arms wrapped around my back, pulling me into her tightly.

We moved as though the whole of the world had become nothing but this shared space.

My tail curled behind me, a gentle, unconscious rhythm echoing the motion of her breath. My ears flicked as I kissed her again, still deeper this time. The murmur she made, the sound soft, vulnerable, wanting, engulfed me in flame.

I pushed gently into her collarbone and she allowed me to guide her down to the bed with care, until her feet rose to rest upon the bed and she laid back amidst the down pillows and warm light. I followed her, one hand never leaving hers, the other gently guiding her down.

I kissed the hollow of her throat, that same warm, real flesh I had wanted so badly to taste in the lonely, aching centuries of my vigil, and her sigh beneath me was the sound of night finally giving way to dawn.

“Ava,” I breathed, lips trembling against her skin, “tell me if anything is too much, or not enough.”

Because this love will never be taken. It will only ever be given.

“It is not possible,” her voice fluttered, “to be too much.”

I brought my hand to her face, cradling it as gently as my body knew how, my thumb brushing just beneath her eye. Her skin was warm beneath mine, and as I lowered my lips to hers, I moved not like a man seizing but as one offering.

I kissed the space just beneath her jaw, and she turned slightly beneath me, offering more of herself without a single word. That quiet permission unraveled me, the sweet reality of it as welcome as the night sky, maybe more.

My fingers, still laced in hers, loosened slowly as I brought my hand to the curve of her waist, resting there as though to ask once more: Let me love you?

She answered not with speech, but in the way her body shifted beneath me, her lips tasting mine, her legs parting slightly beneath the drape of soft linen.

My stuttered breath rasped into long, silvered hair.

“I have loved you in silence for so long,” I whispered, “no more.” I felt her quiver beneath my touch, felt the soft sound that once more escaped her throat.

I lowered myself to her, every motion slow, deliberate. Her blouse parted gently beneath my touch, the satin slipping open like dusk giving way to moonlight. I kissed each newly revealed ilm, not with haste, but with reverence.

She arched into my mouth as if her flesh had lived desperate in wanting, waiting only for this.

Her hands flowed gently down my spine, memorizing the lines of my back through my robe, pressing against the spaces where breath trembled and longing ached. When I peeled the fabric from my own chest, her fingers followed eagerly, reverently, as if she were not merely touching, but answering. The rest of the remaining fabric and leather cruelly separating our skin followed, falling discarded and forgotten.

Had I stopped to think even a single thought, I would have noticed her reaction to my bare flesh; but I was the moment and the moment was desire, and there was no coherent thought existing in the space between my ever moving ears.

I moved over her with patience, coaxing her hips to meet mine, kissing the warm skin that rose to meet my mouth, where dreams used to ache. Her thighs shifted, welcoming, and I met her there, not with urgency, but a rhythm that spoke of coming home.

We joined like the sea and sky at twilight, an act that was wreathed in surrender and breath.

Her breath broke on my name. Mine fractured on hers.

And when it was over, when our bodies quieted and our hearts beat in synchrony with her leg curled over mine, I whispered into the intimate space between her shoulder and throat as I caressed her face.

“Even in my most fevered fantasy I never believed you would be mine. For over a century I fervently believed I would be gone, absent from any moment that existed after the last Lightwarden fell. I am still… having trouble believing.”

“I am too, G’raha,” she whispered quietly. “You were the shelter in the storm that warded away my nightmares, and now here you are, laying next to me and it isn’t some daydream. I never would have believed it could be real.”

The fire crackled softly in the hearth, casting its low golden light across the tangle of pillows and linen. Outside, the Crystarium lived its late afternoon without us, unaware of or perhaps silently blessing the peace we had finally found within these walls.

She lay beneath me, her body damp and warm against mine. My hand traced the barest curve of her hip with a quiet reverence that felt older than the stars.

I could feel her breath on my ears, still softly gasping, and the cadence of her heartbeat against my cheek, answering the rhythm of mine.

We lay in the soft firelight and breathed, together, as though silence was no longer something to fill but something to cherish.

My tail lay still and forgotten next to me, save the twitching of its ever moving tip. It was draped around her leg as though it had become a new ornament. My ears, relaxed now, listened only to the soft sound of her breath and the hush of the blankets as she shifted slightly against me.

I pressed a gentle kiss to her chest.

“I used to imagine this,” she whispered, voice barely above a breath. “Not the passion, not even the kiss. Just… this. Laying with you and listening to you breathe, safe and warm.”

And I smiled. I smiled like a lunatic with absolute, unfettered wonder.

Then she spoke words that burned themselves into memory, into psyche, that would live within me for the rest of my days.

“I love you, G’raha. I felt it that day you saw me standing at the docks in Limsa, and when your eyes met mine I felt it in my bones. It was you, that you would care for me as nobody else could. I regretted not saying something that day. Maybe I should have told you sooner, before you had a chance to close yourself in that tower. I am so, so sorry I spoke to you in anger yesterday. I have carried it for a long time. You’ve given everything...”

The words did not ripple like waves, but rather, dropped quietly like starlight falling into still water. It was a truth spoken not in passion’s heat but in the aching quiet after it, where the soul is bare and nothing needs to be proven.

My breath stopped; as the sheer ache of her confession had left me breathless.

And then the air escaped me, all at once, as though I had been waiting for the whole of my existence for those words to be born into the world.

I did not speak right away.

Instead, I leaned in and let my forehead rest against her collarbone, just beneath the slope of her throat where her heartbeat pulsed steady and strong beneath her skin. My arms slid more tightly around her waist as though drawn there by instinct, by gravity, by every pull that had ever carried me toward her.

Her chin came to rest atop my head, and I shuddered from the safety of it. From the unfamiliar, devastating relief of belonging.

My tail curled around her body more tightly without thought, a silent echo of closeness and the extension of the need to hold.

“You already know I love you,” I whispered, and the words came with a softness like spring rain, like prayer. “More than stars. More than night sky. More than every second I’ve lived without you.”

I pressed my face into the curve of her neck, letting my breath break against her skin. I stayed there, pressed to her like a man who had finally found shore after a lifetime lost at sea.

“You are my home,” she murmured. “And I never want to be without you again.”

Her voice was soft, spoken into the crown of my hair where I still lay curled against her in the sanctuary of her embrace.

"Do you really want to return to the Source, G'raha?" she asked.

Her hand moved slowly along my back, steady, soothing.

"Your life here has lasted far longer than it had there."

The firelight shifted as a log cracked and popped, flickering across her skin like the echo of starlight on deep water. I remained still for a moment, listening to the cadence of her breath and the way it wove in and around me. She was right. Here, I had lived not just days and years, but a century. Entire civilizations had risen and fallen while I waited and watched and hoped.

And still… still…

“I do not know,” I said softly, into the warm hollow of her throat. “Some nights, I feel as though I belong nowhere now - not on the Source and not the First. I’m not even sure I belong in this body and its half-magic, half-ruin. I was made to serve a purpose, Ava. And when I fulfilled it…”

I hesitated, pressing a kiss against her skin, needing the grounding of her warmth.

“I never imagined I’d be allowed to want something after.” I lifted my eyes then, just enough to meet hers. My voice was rough, quiet. “But when I think of the Source now, I don’t think of the Crystal Tower, or duty, or even the life I left behind.”

I reached up, brushing a strand of silver from her face. She reached for my hand and kissed my fingertips before drawing one into her mouth. I tremored at the soft, wet warmth of it.

“I think of you. And of what life could be… with you.” I held a long breath. “If I can return it will be to stand at your side, wherever that may lead.”

I lowered my head again, listening to the echo of her heartbeat as I closed my eyes and continued. “But if you asked me to stay in this world, and this sky and this bed with your arms around me were all I ever knew again, I think I would not mourn the loss of anything else.”

"If we aren’t able to get you to the Source," she whispered, her fingers now threading slowly through my hair, playing with my disheveled braid. "Then I will stay here... with you."

I froze, not in fear but utter astonishment.

"It is something I can do," she continued, her voice steady now, though I could feel the tremble in her chest where I rested. "And I want nothing more than to be with you, wherever and whatever fates, demons or deities call us to be. Haven’t we earned an eternity like this?"

The quiet that followed was not heavy; it was full. Full of choice and the weight and wonder of the gift she had just offered me, not just her presence, not just her love, but her future.

I lifted my head then, just enough to look at her properly. My ears had flattened, not in shame but in awe, and I tightened my grip on her that much more.

“I never dared to imagine you might stay,” I said, and my voice cracked - just once, softly. “That you would choose me over the stories they write about you or over the echoes of worlds that always seem to pull you away.”

She winced and I understood. Perhaps the mantle had become too heavy to bear.

I reached up and cupped her cheek in my palm, holding her as though the First had turned quiet just to witness this moment.

“You would stay here,” I whispered, “not because you have to or for duty. But because you... you want a life with me.”

I shook my head, half laughing, half breathless.

“Ava… do you know what it means for you to choose me? Not as the Exarch or hero’s guide, not as the man with Allagan eyes who can open the tower, but me, this man, this soul, flawed and frightened and so desperately in love with you? If it should be that we do remain here, I will spend every sunlit day and every starlit night learning how to build a life with you. We can be out of destiny’s shadow, in the life we choose together with whatever time may be left to me.”

Ava’s expression darkened, then she peered at me with questioning eyes, as somehow she laid her most feared question out in the open for me to answer. “Do you know how much time is left to you?”

“No, my love, I do not. I fused myself with the tower to extend my life, but as you know, grow weak and old the further I stray from it and continue to age even now, albeit slowly. Should we stay here, I will be confined to the grounds of the Tower. Are you… are you certain this is something you would want?”

“With all my heart, G’raha. I will take every day you offer me.”

“Then I need to get back to the source. Even one more day would be worth whatever cost there is to pay. What of you?” I hesitated, unsure if she would want to answer the question that fell gently from my lips. “What is your true age?”

“I have to wonder how you don’t already know,” she teased gently. I smirked at her and she grinned back. “I believe,” she began, “I was 87 when I left the Green. I may have another hundred years or so, though the life I live has already been cut short once. Did you ever consider that if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here now, either?”

Yes, so many, many times; but now you finally know.

We lay together, chests rising and falling, fire cracking and snapping beside us. It was a long, sweet moment, just a simple, quiet one where we lay and held each other. There was much to take in, we both knew; and while we had loved longer than either of us truly yet understood, there was still much that was new to both of us, and still much to be discussed.

She shifted, another uncomfortable, unspoken question in her gentle and beautiful face.

“Should I be…” her face flushed crimson, a deep color in the firelight. “Careful? Do I ask too much of your aged body in this bed?”

Her lips brushed my hair again, softer now but lingering, her body shifting ever so slightly against mine. I felt her hand move over the edge of my hip, the barest hint of inquiry in the press of her palm.

She didn't ask with just words; she also asked with touch.

And gods, how my body answered.

Though time had etched its magic through my every sinew and this vessel of flesh had been remade for vigil and sacrifice, I was certainly not a man incapable of expressing or enjoying desire.

There had been… attempts. Attempts at family, attempts at happiness with other hearts. But then, who deserved a man deeply in love with another, who spent his every waking moment watching her life play out slowly in front of him?

I gasped softly as she tightened her grip on my hip bone, and my tail freed itself from her thigh and flicked once behind me in surprise and delight.

I pulled back just enough to look up at her from where I rested. My ears flicked, just slightly bashful, and I grinned.

“Aged?” I murmured, breath warm against her collarbone. “You wound me, my love.”

I rose up to my hands and knees, slow and sinuous, shifting purposely to showcase muscle and prowess, curling my body and tail in an arc around where she lay. The look of lust born in her features was something new; something so rare, so magnificent that I lost myself in her seductive gaze.

And it was for me.

I circled her on the bed, slowly, smoothly pacing around her on my hands and knees, much to her amusement and delight. It was a display of prowess and power, meant to impress and usually reserved for other Miqo’te; for Ava it was a deliberate answer to her question. Her eyes slid over my form hungrily and it emboldened me. She had never truly seen me this way; she didn’t know just how much effort I put into being able to do whatever she needed of me, regardless of age. What irony it was; just two days prior I would have been embarrassed beyond all reason just to show her my knees.

We faced each other fully as I closed my predatory circling, my face peering down into hers in the stillness of her breathing. I placed one hand on either side of her head and held my body taut, poised, allowing her to trace my contours with her hands. She shivered as I trailed one hand down her side, down the length of her skin, until my fingers found her hip again. My voice dropped to something rich and velvet-soft.

“I am still a man beneath all of the crystal and time, Ava. And when you touch me as though you want more…” I kissed her neck sensuously, just as she remembered it in dreams with my lips barely grazing skin. I felt a violent tremor pulse its way across her chest and felt her breath catch. “I remember I was made of heat and want long before I was made of crystal and duty.”

I drew back just slightly, eyes gleaming up at her, a question hidden in the warmth there.

“Would you like to see what your desire awakens in me, Ava? Once more… with fire?”

“Fire,” she breathed, and I felt the word against my face more than I heard it, and I could feel her body already begging into mine, already answering its own invitation.

I swallowed – hard.

Not because I doubted or feared, but because that admission, so unguarded and rich with longing, resonated through my muscle and bone, sending a hot, thrilled tremor of anticipation through me as though I had been struck by lightning.

I slowly, sinuously, rose and crawled backward until my hips met her own. My hands slid over her sides, smoothing the warmth of skin and silk, and I kissed the rise of her chest then with no pretense, no hesitation.

It was not hurried.

It was heat drawn from sacred quiet, and she met me with a hunger that was steady as a circling shark, all-consuming. The fire behind us cracked and sighed, casting its golden breath across her skin as I explored every familiar place anew; kissed each with devotion and purpose.

“Ava…” I murmured against her skin, my voice thick now, edged with heat and awe. “With you I remember what it is to be alive.”

The fire crackled beside us as I worshiped her with the soft warmth of my mouth; and she worshiped me. Our hips met again in aching rhythm, her legs drawing me in with the quiet insistence of one who has chosen and I responded with all that I had to give, mind, body, heart.

And again, we were us.

But not in shadow or in silence.

In flame.