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dilemmars · 4 days ago

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“ DIE WITH A SMILE. ”⠀⠀───⠀⠀arcane.

⠀⠀𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗌𝗈𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝖾.⠀( welcome to the playground , 7.7k words. )⠀by dilemmars.

1.⠀⠀ PAIRING⠀⠀:⠀⠀violet x f!reader.

2.⠀⠀GENRES⠀⠀:⠀⠀based on the storyline and universe of arcane ( league of legends tv show )⠀; first love trope, started dating recently, stablished relationship, exes to lovers. basically you and vi were dating before the start of the story, then got separated.

3.⠀⠀WARNINGS⠀⠀:⠀⠀i will add the warnings that the tv show has: slight presence of sex and nudity, foul language, alcohol, drugs and tobacco. moderate scenes of fear and terror. high content of violence and gore. in this first chapter, not more than that. pretty calm chapter, introductory. some steamy kissing hehe.

4.⠀⠀AUTHOR 'S NOTE⠀⠀:⠀⠀first chapter out! i really really hope you like this silly story! this is just the beginning, a little bit of introduction to the backstory of the characters, and scenes you already know from the show. enjoy 🤍

5.⠀⠀IMPORTANT⠀⠀:⠀⠀this is a work of fiction. i do not own arcane or any content produced or owned bychristian linke, alex yee, riot games or netflix. all rights belong to netflix and the writers of arcane. all plot events and character developments that are not related to the main character's story belong to the writers and creators of the series.

You rested your hand on the rough wooden wall after reaching the last step, and paused your movements. Just for an instant, you allowed yourself to close your eyes and take a breath of air. You rolled one of the screws you'd been working with between your fingers, the shine of the stained metal glinting next to the chipped nails painted a dirty maroon colour, and forced yourself to walk along the small landing at the back of The Last Drop. You ignored the dull ache in your ankle, which crept up your leg if you stepped too hard, and the animated murmur of people greeted you as you opened the door, swallowing the silence that had surrounded you for most of the afternoon.

Despite the heavy gloom that shrouded the downside of the town, you had to squint at the large lamps in the shop, illuminating the large room with an amber light. You tucked the screw in one of the pockets of your cargo trousers, rotating your shoulders to release some of the tightness that had taken over them after an afternoon slouching in the studio, and made your way clumsily towards the bar counter. You caught a glimpse of Vander's broad back skilfully pouring two pints of beer for one of The Last Drop's regulars, and grimaced. You knew he would be working —it was his establishment, after all— but you didn't want to meet his disapproving gaze.

You raised your hand in a quick wave when the guy who had just paid for the two beers, Huck, smiled at you, and you mentally thanked that Vander was too busy following him with his eyes to notice that you had disobeyed his request for rest. You let him concentrate on the irregular-looking meeting the man with the dark ponytail was about to carry out with the two strangers Vander watched over, vigilant, and slid awkwardly under the plank that separated the inside of the bar from the rest of the place. Hopefully, if he was too busy he wouldn't say anything.

‘Where did you leave your watchdog, sweetheart?’ you heard, and got startled by how close Sevika's low, honeyed voice sounded, sitting on one of the bar's high stools, the criminal's sharp gaze glinting with amusement, hidden behind her own jug.

‘None of your business,’ you replied, but a smile danced on your lips as you faced her, your hands resting on the metal cover of the counter, damp against your skin. She smiled too, a sort of reply to the game you always played with each other, and set the jug down in front of you.

‘But it's strange not to see her glued to you,’ she replied, the caricaturistic pout in her mouth a mocking sneer at the person she was talking about, Vander's older adopted daughter.

Her golden breastplate shimmered under the spotlights hanging from the ceiling above you, her dark jacket fading into the shadows, and you rolled your eyes playfully. You could hear a soft melody from the gramophone you had managed to fix a few months ago, but it was completely drowned out by the shouts of those winning and losing at the pool tables to your right. Sevika loved to pick on you, throwing comments that you answered in a scathing manner, with that haughty little girl's mask that had earned you a fight or two.

They were harmless words. She'd throw a jab, you wouldn't stay silent. But that night the absence of the lively group of teenagers Vander was in charge of seemed more present than usual, and it made your heart hammer just to think that their unaccustomed delay was because something unexpected had happened. You reached into the inside pocket of your threadbare leather vest and pulled out the old hand-watch you always carried with you. The hands seemed to be moving too fast, a tick-tock-tick-tock that anticipated an uncertain outcome.

‘I thought I told you to stay downstairs,’ Vander murmured behind you, the comforting sound of his voice enveloping you like the hand he rested on your shoulder. His fists had once been wielders of daunting violence, you'd been told, his strong, dangerous-looking arms characteristics attached to his name and reputation, but you'd only known the tenderness with which they could embrace you.

‘I get bored alone in there,’ you confessed, pouting, ignoring the breathy laughter of the criminal in front of you. It wasn't true, as everyone who met you knew how easily you were able to abstract yourself in any situation. The truth was that the living room of the small home Vander had built under the pub felt lifeless if your friends weren't in it.

You didn't say it, but it was implied in the softness that tinged the man's gaze when he looked at you. He slid his hand from your shoulder to your arm, as he had done so often since you had known him, always a gesture of understanding and comfort, and you listened to his reproach with brows furrowed upwards, accepting his words.

‘Still, you shouldn't overwork that foot until it's fully healed.’

Sevika made a noise of affirmation, a victim of enough injuries to know what was best for a simple sprain, and it served as enough convincing to let Vander take you by the waist and sit you in one swift movement on the counter. A sigh of relief spilled from your mouth, which you didn't hold back just to let the bartender know he was right, and you thanked him with a smile, the clock still racing against time in your hand.

They weren't back yet, and you couldn't ask Vander if he'd heard anything about a disturbance topside, because it would imply that you had full knowledge of what your friends were up to behind their father's back. It had been a mistake to rush into planning the heist, and even more so knowing that you could not be a part of it, having been forced to rest after a silly sprained ankle a couple of weeks ago while trying to jump from one building to another. It had been a bet with Mylo, the annoying middle brother who knew what strings to pull to make you act out of pride, but you had all agreed not to tell anyone about it.

He disappeared into the crowd with his inseparable pipe between his lips, and you deflated, sliding off the bar and onto the floor to run away.

‘Can I have another before you go, you damned little wraith?’ asked Sevika, pushing her empty jug towards you with her fingers, compassion floating in her gaze. She too had been a child, she too had kept secrets from her father.

You merely nodded, turning back to her to pick up the metal glass, and stood on your tiptoes to reach the beer tap, wincing as you flexed your ankle. You waited for the bubbling foam to reach the rim of the jug, almost spilling over your fingers, and your pulse trembled as you caught a fleeting glimpse of turquoise hair in the back of the crowd. The same turquoise hair that you had braided and decorated that very morning, still sitting up in bed, with a twin screw to the one in your pocket.

Powder. The youngest of all of you, last in the group line. Leading the way, Vi's strong figure, camouflaged under the hood of a sleeveless jacket, marking a quick step towards the door you had exited just minutes before. Your heart began to stutter against your ribcage, realising that they wouldn't be coming in unnoticed, head down, if something terrible hadn't happened. And they weren't carrying the backpack they'd left with.

You set Sevika's jug down on the counter perhaps a little harder than necessary, giving her a nod by way of farewell, and duck under the table to retrace your steps, limping your way to the door through which Vander's four adopted children had just sneaked in. Your breath caught in your throat as you took the first step, pain running like electricity through the muscles in your leg, but you clenched your teeth and continued forward, stumbling as you opened the second door, pausing for a moment before attempting to continue on one foot.

‘Vander learns none of this,’ Vi was saying, her raspy voice cutting through the air in a sharp warning.

Oh, no. Something had definitely gone wrong.

Whatever Mylo was about to say got drowned out by the silence the four of them fell into as you put your injured foot on one of the wooden timbers you had marked as squeaky, and you bit your lip, placing most of your weight on the handrail. You knew that if your ankle still hadn't healed after two weeks it was because you were incapable of sitting still, but every time you got a jolt of pain like that, you wished you'd laid in bed for days. You bent over slightly, frowning, muttering a soft, ‘It's me, it's me, don't worry’.

You heard Vi's quiet sigh as you massaged your ankle, the soft sound of the armchair as she stood up, and every step she took until you saw the tips of her boots on the step below the one you were on. She rested the palm of her hand between your shoulder blades, and you let its warmth run across the leather of your vest, feeling her hand slide to the small of your back, its comforting touch making you let out a soft whimper. When you looked up you saw concern swimming in her gaze. All you wanted was to flash a calming smile.

‘It's alright,’ you said, taking a breath, carefully placing your foot on the floor and getting up. ‘I'm alright, how are you guys?’

‘We're good, cupcake,’ she whispered, sliding her hand around your waist, drawing circles with her thumb over the small sliver of skin between your vest and the waistband of your trousers, as if in a rehearsed choreography: the uneasiness of one face mirroring the distress of the other, both trying to reassure one another. ‘Come here, yeah?’

You huffed, but let her anyway. Vi moved her hand slightly up, towards the curve of your waist, hovering over you, and you had to stifle a gasp as she caught you in her arms, her warm palm against your back once it slipped under your shirt. You couldn't help the way the end of your lips curved upwards, a mirror image of the one you felt on hers as she pressed a quick kiss to your temple, and you slipped an arm around her neck as she began to descend the stairs, pressing you against her body.

‘You stink,’ you said, ignoring the way her t-shirt clung to her sweaty chest, how the fringe of her pinkish hair fell over her eyes. You tucked it behind her ear, sliding your fingers over the bruise that had already begun to form on her cheek, and frowned. ‘What happened?’

‘Powder jinxed the plan,’ Mylo replied, and you turned to him, who was sprawled on the couch, next to Claggor, his feet on the coffee-table, his arms folded, and looking just as dishevelled and dirty as the rest. ‘Again,’ he added, and Vi's chest rose with a tired sigh alongside you.

‘I tried, okay?’ replied Powder, wrinkling her freckled nose as Vi turned around the couch she was sitting on, with you in her arms. ‘You don't get it,’ the little girl complained, ‘you're older, you're bigger.¡ You left a soft kiss on Vi's jaw as a silent thank you before she carefully settled you down next to her sister, and you tried to imagine what had happened to make Powder have to defend herself that way. ‘It, it isn't fair.’

You caught a glimpse of Mylo's gaze, his eyebrows raised in disbelief, and then you turned your face to Powder, huddled against the sofa with his knees drawn up to his chest. And you got angry. It wasn't the first time the boy had reflected his own insecurities back at her, jabbing at her with phrases that undermined her confidence, and though you always tried to keep your cool, telling him off in private afterwards, there were times when it pained you not to stand up for her out loud so as not to pick a fight.

‘Of course it isn't fair,’ you interjected, glaring at Mylo, folding your good leg under your body to make yourself more comfortable. You felt Powder's eyes on you, hanging on your every word. ‘You're more experienced too,’ you continued, leaning your head against the backrest in a lazy gesture, as if the conversation was boring you. ‘I still remember the kind of things you used to do when you were Powder's age.’

Before you could tell some ridiculous anecdote about him, at least to try to cheer Powder up, the door burst open, Vander's powerful figure appeared in the doorway, and the words died in your throat. Tense, the five of you stood still, waiting for a reaction from the owner of The Last Drop.

‘Everyone alright?’ he asked, coming down the stairs agonisingly slowly.

You saw Mylo remove his feet from the table in a hurry, sitting up, and the tightness in his attempt at a smile as he spoke.

‘Never better,’ he replied.

‘Good,’ Vander pronounced, his voice dangerously calm, taking his time getting downstairs. ‘I don't suppose you can explain why it is that hearing about an explosion and a foot chase topside?’

You didn't see him, but you heard his footsteps behind you, calculated, restrained, and it took you a second longer than necessary to process the words that had just come out of his mouth. An explosion? And a chase, a foot chase. You opened your eyes in surprise and turned slightly towards him, but he wasn't looking at you, his gaze locked on Vi. He'd known about it practically all afternoon and hadn't said anything to you. It was obvious. You wondered if he wouldn't ask you to stay downstairs instead of helping him pour beer to keep you from finding out too. Would Sevika have any idea of that?

‘Four children fleeing the scene,’ he added, as if it wasn't clear enough.

If the enforcers had chased them to the limits between topside and undercity, they would do whatever it took to search house to house and find the culprits. Especially after collapsing a building, and particularly if valuables had been stolen. You felt Powder's hand slip around your arm, hiding in the tiny gap between your body and the couch, and you tried to make eye contact with Vi, unsure of what to say without really knowing the circumstances of what had happened, but she avoided your gaze.

‘What the hell were you thinking?’ inquired Vander, the measured tone doing nothing to try and disguise the frustration in his words.

Your heart raced in your chest. There had been many versions of the conversation that had started, softer, more lighthearted, in the past, but you could tell the anger buried in father and daughter with just a glance —Vi's frown, her fists clenched, and the tension in Vander's shoulders. Vi's voice didn't falter as she answered.

‘That we can handle a real job.’

Vander's response was just as quick, his scepticism lashing out like a whip, ‘A real job?’

‘We got our tip, planned a route, nobody even saw.’ she said, and just the quick glance she gave you after uttering it made you bite your tongue. She said we, which wasn't a lie, but she used the loophole of your involvement in the planning so that Vander wouldn't scold you too.

‘You blew up a building!�� he exclaimed, and you flinched.

‘That wasn't…’ Vi blinked at her father, as if the fact that they were all home meant it hadn't been that big a deal, but was interrupted by a barrage of accusatory questions.

‘Did you even stop to think about what could have happened to you?’ demanded Vander, and you began to feel the guilt creep up your throat. ‘Huh? To them?’

You perceived the way Vander pointed towards the two couches facing each other, the ones where you and Powder and the two boys were sitting, but you weren't really looking at him. Once he had said it, you could only notice everything you hadn't when you had seen them after their absence: the little girl's scraped knee, Claggor's bloody shirt around his neck, the tiny particles of dust and plaster in Mylo's spiky hair. The bruise you'd caressed, a gaping cut on Vi's other cheekbone.

Playing at being criminals was practically harmless in the undercity, always backed by Vander's intimidating reputation, but going up to Piltover to loot was something else entirely. There was a risk that became all too real, you moved under rules that applied differently to those who came from where you were from. It had been too dangerous, a hazard you hadn't seen when you had planned it from the comfort of your room, and you had been the one to send them up there, while you stayed in the safety of The Last Drop.

You heard Vander sigh, defeated.

‘Where did you even get this tip?’

You felt Powder stir beside you, leaning out so her father could hear her better, ‘We just heard it at Benzo's.’

‘From?’

‘Little Man?’ she muttered in reply, unsure if telling the truth was safe, even if it was the right thing to do.

You wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against you, as soon as you saw Vander's brow begin to furrow. He obviously didn't think it was good advice coming from an eleven-year-old, you'd seen it coming —and that was why you hadn't wanted to say anything to him— but Ekko was worth a lot more than the adults liked to think, with those quick legs and the ability to put together the most complex gadgets to learn all the secrets and whispers of Benzo's shop.

You saw Vander open his mouth to respond, but before he could articulate a word, Vi shot up from the couch, storming with anger in her voice, ‘I took us there,’ she said, face to face with her father. ‘If you wanna be mad, be mad at me. But you're the one that says we have to earn our place in this world.’

Vander sighed again, as if he were exhausted from facing the same conversation all the time.

‘I also told you time and again the Northside's off limits,’ he repeated, as he had so many times before. ‘We stay out of Piltover's business.’

‘Why?’ reproached Vi, and you could see the change in her gaze, that shift that suggested that she had had enough too, but of witnessing the social injustice that went on every day in your country, and of no one doing anything to stop it. ‘They've got plenty, while we're down here scraping together coins. When did you get so comfortable living in someone else's shadow?’

The intensity of her words left you breathless, amazed that she had dared to utter what she had so often whispered to you when she was angry with Vander and needed someone to talk to. There was a deathly silence in the room, tense and thick, and you all respected it, knowing that the conversation had become too personal.

‘Everyone out.’

You made the attempt to stand up, ready to intervene, to try to negotiate a situation in which no one regrets what can be said, even if you don't have a say in the situation. Play mediator, something you've always been good at. But before you can open your mouth, Vander is giving you a harsh look.

‘Out,’ he repeated.

You looked up at Vi, who was frowning, but her eyes softened as she met yours and saw your expression. She nodded almost imperceptibly, resting a hand on your shoulder, and helped you up to get out of there. You knew they needed to talk to each other, but it stung that you couldn't be there to protect her if Vander went too far with his words. You sighed, remembering that he would never hurt his children, and limped a few metres, followed by Powder. You heard Claggor and Mylo rise behind you, waiting for you to go up the stairs. You were prideful enough not to accept help from anyone, even if your cheeks were flushed red from how long it took you to get to the top.

You closed the door after Powder passed last, and leaned your back against the wooden surface, closing your eyes for a moment. You were grateful that Mylo didn't make any of his comments, and only turned away when Powder demanded your attention, puffing upwards at her fringes.

‘Can I go look in the pipes outside?’ she murmured, her restless legs trembling to get the hell out of there.

‘Yes, of course,’ you replied, smiling at her.

You placed a hand on the wall once you saw her disappear down the stairs where Claggor had sat, and took a step towards him, leaning on his shoulder so that you could sit next to him. You rested your head on his shoulder, sighing, and ignored the gadget Mylo pulled out of one of his many pockets to gossip the conversation.

‘Was it that bad?’ you asked, your voice low.

‘Pretty much,’ Claggor told you, shifting underneath you. ‘We don't know what caused the explosion, we just ran out of there as soon as it happened.’

‘But you're all okay, aren't you?’ you wanted to clarify, trying to imagine all the scenarios that had happened. You hadn't seen many explosions in your life, but the four of them had come back in one piece, and that would have to calm you down. It should, at least.

‘Except for the part where Powder lost the bag we were bringing the stuff in,’ Mylo chimed in, glueing his ear to the goldish device, and you rolled your eyes. He had to be joking, putting a couple expensive items above his and everyone else's safety.

‘We're all okay, yeah,’ Claggor replied, and you turned your head slightly so you could smile at him. ‘How are you doing with the...?’

‘Shh,’ interrupted the youngest of you three, his eyes widening, ‘Vander's telling her that it's her responsibility what happens to us.’

‘I'm fine, Clag,’ you continued, ignoring Mylo's words. ‘It hurts less and less every day.’

‘And now he's asking for the stuff!’ he interrupted again, raising his voice slightly.

‘You are aware that eavesdropping on other people's conversations is rude, right?’ you sighed, shooting him an amused look, knowing he wouldn't care. Mylo was a nosy one.

He didn't answer you, too busy analysing every word of what was being said on the other side of the door, and you shook your head slightly, leaning part of your body against Claggor. You felt your ankle throbbing, protesting at the effort you had put it through, and your head was beginning to ache. You needed to think of something to convince Vander that it wasn't all Vi's fault, that if there was a punishment, it wouldn't fall on the rest of them.

Staring blankly at the floor, you waited. You decided you would follow Vander back to the bar to talk to him, even if it was just to find out how the situation had affected both the topside and Vi. You figured she'd want to be alone, but when she felt ready you'd return to her arms, as always. And then Claggor tapped your knee gently, urging you to pay attention, and you saw the look of concentration on Mylo's face as he failed to hear Vander's heavy footsteps —which you could literally hear without his gadget.

When he finally realised that the man was on the other side of the door, he jerked away, turning hurriedly to pretend that he had been waiting with you and Claggor, his back to both of you. The towering figure of Vander appeared with a large sack slung over his shoulder, and a scowl on his face, though it was the serious face he adopted in his day to day life. Perhaps it hadn't gone so badly after all.

‘Get up, Claggor,’ he said, closing the door behind him, ‘we're going out.’

‘Wait, now?’ he complained, huffing.

You lifted your head from his shoulder, offering him an apologetic smile. If your foot were okay you would have offered to accompany Vander in his place, but even in that situation you had to recognise that too much walking would cause irreparable damage to your ankle. You stroked his shoulder encouragingly, grimacing as you saw the colour the bruise in his eye was beginning to take on, and watched him stand up, as Vander snatched Mylo's device from him.

You listened to his complaints as Vander ignored them, and ducked your gaze when he faced Mylo, ‘You wanna be treated like adults, right?’

He threw the bag at Claggor, who had to lean on the steps to keep from falling, and you tried to get to your feet to help him, wincing as you rested your foot irremediably on the ground. It was hard to figure out the specific mood of Vander at that moment, the tonality of his words contrasting with the way he treated you.

‘Then you should know better than to come back from a job empty-handed,’ Vander said, resting his hand on the handrail to start walking up. You stepped aside, stepping down to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Mylo, and avoided looking at him as he spoke the final words, ‘I'm going to have a little word with your informant.’

You exchanged one last glance with Claggor, mouthing a quiet ‘Good luck’ before he nodded in defeat, following in Vander's footsteps, disappearing up the stairs Powder had gone a few minutes before. You leaned your back against the closed door that led to the bar, realising that the plan you had in mind had fallen like cards blown by the wind, and considered simply heading off to bed to rest.

‘You coming?’ muttered Mylo, bumping his shoulder against yours.

‘Huh?’ you looked at him, momentarily unsure what he was referring to, until he nodded his head towards the door.

‘Let me help you,’ he asked, holding out his hand in front of you, ‘don't be stubborn.’

You folded your arms, snorting, and played hard to get.

‘You know Vi would kill me if she found out I let you walk down those stairs by yourself again,’ he added, one hand over his chest dramatically, as if suffering the wrath of your girlfriend was probably the worst possible fate —and you didn't doubt it.

You rolled your eyes playfully and accepted his hand, slipping your arm over his shoulders and letting him wrap his around your waist, making it easier for you to limp. You walked slowly down the stairs, focused on not falling, and you were almost relieved about the absence of that dull ache in your ankle. You had to start taking better care of yourself.

Vi's figure greeted you just as you had left her, slumped in her armchair, one leg up on the armrest and her head resting on one hand. You pouted at the sight of her, worn out and for a moment looking older than she actually was, but the expression on her face morphed into just a smile, sitting up slightly at the sight of you. Mylo guided you in front of her, one hand still on your waist in case you wanted to sit elsewhere, and you thanked him, leaning on the armrest still free of the armchair.

You heard Mylo pick up a ball and plop down on the couch you'd been sitting on with Powder, but all your attention went to Vi, her greyish gaze, calm, soft, and the way her hands slid down your hip, yours tangling in her hair.

‘Hey, pretty girl,’ you murmured, your lips drawing a soft curve over your mouth, ‘everything okay?’

She smiled in response, dropping her head against the back of the chair and letting out a long sigh. With her eyes narrowed, and her hands clasped around you, the ends of her smile spread a little wider, and suddenly you were pulled into her lap. You muffled a gasp of surprise, spilling laughter onto her skin, and settled into her arms.

‘Now? Hell yeah,’ she replied, his lips brushing your temple.

‘How are you feeling?’ you said, your voice barely a whisper, snuggling against her.

‘Exhausted,’ she admitted, and you began to trace shapes on her arm with your fingertips, ‘I really missed you today.’

You pouted at her words, turning your head away a little so you could look into her eyes, ‘I really missed you too,’ you replied. ‘My studio felt too quiet.’

‘Did you make any progress?’ she asked, shifting her body so that she could stand as close to you as possible, still looking you in the eye.

‘Yes!’ you exclaimed, sitting up slightly so you could explain. ‘I've fixed the wing mechanism! It works perfectly now, and it doesn't make that awful noise. I even tested it, and it's able to stay in the air, so I'll be able to create the first sample in no time.’

‘That's amazing, cupcake,’ she commented, smiling proudly. Whenever you were asked about an invention you were working on, you started babbling information, and Vi was one of the few who actually paid attention to what you were saying. ‘Next up is designing the body, right?’

You nodded, remembering that the reason you'd gone up to The Last Drop in the first place had been that you'd promised yourself to ask Vi if she wanted to be involved in the design. You'd had to leave the mechanical crow halfway through, waiting for her response.

‘Wanna help me?’ you said, turning to her and tucking a pink lock of hair behind her ear. You let your palm linger on her cheek for a moment, melting as Vi pressed her face against your skin, closing her eyes, and added, ‘The idea was yours.’

‘The idea was Ekko's,’ she whispered, correcting you, turning her face so she could press a kiss to your palm, and then she looked up at you, the grey of her gaze warm against yours, ‘but I'll be happy to help.’

You lowered yourself over her, swallowing her breath, and joined your lips in a tender kiss. Vi wasn't a big fan of grand displays of affection in public, except for the occasional protective gesture that always worked if she felt a little jealous of the way you were being looked at in the street, and kissing was usually reserved for when you were completely alone. So you were surprised when she sighed against your mouth and bit your lower lip, slipping her tongue in as soon as you let her. The taste of her distracted you, and you slid your hands up her shoulders, feeling her hands anchor around your waist, drawing you into her body.

But then you brushed your thumb over her cheekbone, as you always did, and felt her wince in pain. You pulled away, fearful, and remembered the cut you had seen earlier. Much to your reluctance, you decided to pause the kiss, leaving one last peck on her lips that she chased, and you smiled at her, changing the subject.

‘And the studio topside?’ you wanted to know, picking up the conversation where you had left off. ‘Was it as cool as Ekko predicted?’

‘Oh, it was otherworldly!’ she exhaled, breathy, as if trying to focus on what you had said, remembering her failed incursion. ‘Truth is you would've loved it, with all those tools and maths equations, and the weird, complex artefacts.’

‘Maybe if I had gone, things would have had a different outcome,’ you sighed, resting your forehead on hers, closing your eyes.

‘Maybe,’ she conceded, drawing comforting circles on your hip bones, 'but you had to rest.’

‘I know,’ you acknowledged, trying not to let the guilt seep into your voice. Then you pulled away slightly, your hands still resting on her shoulders, ‘now you have to rest.’

‘Do I?’ she asked, amusement in her eyes, smiling.

‘Of course you do!’ you said, analysing the wounds on his face. ‘And wash up too. You still have blood in your face.’

‘Aren't you going to ask how the fight went?’ she inquired, humming, bringing her hands up to your lips to undo the pout with soft fingertips.

You raised your eyebrows at her words, as if the answer was obvious, ‘Oh, you won.’

‘Yeah, I did,’ she replied, chuckling under her breath.

You slid your gaze across her face, taking in each small wound, the smeared blood from the cut on her brow, the gradual colour of the bruises on her cheeks, and then slid it around the room, looking for something to treat her wounds with.

And then you saw the open bottle of alcohol on the table, a solitary drop of liquid sliding on the glass, and you knew that Vander had been the one to smear the blood on Vi's brow. It had been a friendly conversation, then. You smiled at the thought.

‘Let me clean you those wounds, yeah?’ you whispered, caressing your girlfriend's jaw before getting up to reach for the bottle.

‘As you wish,’ she replied, waiting for you to sit back on her lap, her fingers tingling to touch your skin again.

But you stood in front of the armchair, pulling a roll of bandages from the small pocket on your belt, always ready to be able to change the ones Vi wore from her knuckles to the forearm of her right hand. You took your time cutting a generous piece, pouring alcohol on the cloth and tapping Vi's leg on the armrest to get her to move it.

She huffed, raising her hands in a gesture of defeat, and sat with her legs together, leaving you the perfect gap for your knees to rest on the sides of her hips. Once back in her lap, you cupped her face with one hand, palm holding part of her jaw so she couldn't move it, and blew on the cut on her cheek before pulling the wet bandage over it.

You saw a drop slide off her skin before the alcohol touched the open wound, and her brow furrow as you slid the cloth across her cheekbone, sucking in a sharp intake. You looked at her, knowing it was going to sting anyway, but she kept her eyes closed, concentrating on not moving. You wiped it off as quickly as you could, moving on to the half smeared cut on her eyebrow, and Vi held still, her hands tense on your waist, until you discarded the bandage, leaving it on the table behind your back.

Then you took her face in your hands, whispering that it was done, and laid six quick kisses on her bruised cheeks, all soft caresses of your lips on her skin. She smiled at the attention, running her hands up your back to slip under your shirt, but you stopped her, aware that she had forgotten Mylo's presence in the room.

You turned to him, seeing that he had been turned towards the back of his couch, trying to give you as much privacy as possible, and questioned him.

‘Hey, Mylo, you got any cuts you want me to clean up?’

He stirred, rolling over until he was sprawled on his back, and picked up the ball he'd left between the couch cushions, his gaze unfocused.

‘You know, Powder's a problem,’ he said, as if he hadn't heard a word, running his free hand over his face to snap out of his trance.

‘Oh my God, you've been overthinking all this time about that?’ you exhaled, disbelief painting your voice.

Vi sighed, resting her forehead on your shoulder, exhausted, ‘Mylo, I'm really not...’

‘Do you remember what was in the bag?’ he interrupted, throwing the ball against the wall in front of him and catching it on the fly.

You rolled your eyes, tired of his obsessive attitude.

‘Jeez, I'm sure it wasn't as...’ but he interrupted you too.

‘The biggest payout we've ever seen,’ he continued, giving vent to his complaints, not understanding why you didn't give it the same importance. ‘And she just lost it.’

‘She made a mistake.’ Vi leaned back in the armchair, resting her head on her hand.

‘Name one time she hasn't.’

‘Myls, she's still young,’ you tried to interject, defending Powder while avoiding creating an argument, as usual.

‘Don't bullshit me,’ he said, still determined to blame her for all his problems. ‘Vi was twice the person half her age.’

‘Vi had to grow up way too soon and fight for Powder to have a decent childhood without parents,’ you countered, starting to stand up, the knee of your bad foot still propped up on the couch so as not to overload it, but giving Mylo a venomous look. ‘Do not bullshit me.’

Vi put a hand on your hip, her hand warm against your skin, and helped you sit on the armrest, then propping her elbows on her knees so that she was face to face with her adopted little brother.

‘You know what, Mylo? You're right,’ she said slowly, sensing the way you tensed behind her back. She wasn't going to agree with him, was she? ‘There's a bunch of things Powder can't do.’

‘You don't have to tell me twice,’ he said, a hint of superiority spilling out of his mouth.

‘Like complaining about everything,’ Vi continued, sitting up, and you allowed yourself to relax, knowing she was going to teach him a lesson.

‘What?’ Mylo frowned, the ball tapping rhythmically on the wall in front of him.

‘And brag non stop.’

‘Okay, okay, I see where this is going...’ he replied, sitting up in his corner of the couch as Vi towered over him, catching the ball in mid-flight. You crossed your arms over your chest, remaining silent.

‘Pick fights with the group when we need to focus.’

Mylo gave a nervous chuckle, ‘Vi, I...’

‘And tell strangers on the street that we got a nice haul,’ she finished, her back to you. You couldn't see her face, but you could see his regretful gesture.

‘Oh my god, you did what?’ you muttered, surprised. If Powder lost the stuff then it was because she had to defend herself from a fight that Mylo had probably started. And Powder wasn't much of a fighter.

‘I, I didn't mean to,’ he defended himself.

‘Powder's my problem, okay?’ announced Vi, to which you nodded. They had both been through too much. Even if they lived under the same roof as Mylo, Claggor, and even you, their relationship was always going to tie them together in a much deeper way. ‘Your problem is never knowing when to shut up,’ you watched as she moved even closer to him, face to face, and lowered her voice so he could hear her clearly, ’but I'm gonna help you with that. Ready? You see this look on my face?’ she pointed to her face, and you saw Mylo swallow, nodding. ‘This will always mean it's time to shut up.’

‘But...’ he tried to say, to which Vi pointed to her face again, ‘I...’ she did it again and he groaned.

You couldn't help but let out a giggle, covering your mouth with your hand as Mylo rolled his eyes, giving up, and dropped his head against the couch. Without a word he put his hand to his lips, running his fingers over them as if he were zipping it, and stood up quickly, hurrying up the path to the stairs. As soon as he was gone, Vi turned to you.

‘Where were we?’ she asked, approaching you with a smile tugging at her lips.

You slid down the armrest until you were sitting on the cushion, and opened your arms to receive her, beaming. She knelt in front of you, wrapping her arms around your waist, and shuddered as you slipped your fingers into her hair. She closed her eyes, sighing, and left six quick kisses on the sliver of skin that peeked between your shirt and the waistband of your trousers, over your hip bone.

You giggled, wiggling your hips, and asked her, ‘Why was that?’

‘I don't know,’ she said, resting her chin on your belly, looking up at you with sparkling eyes, 'you always give me six kisses on the cheek.’

‘You always hurt your cheekbone, which is different,’ you corrected, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, ’I just give you kisses to make it heal faster.’

‘And why six?’

You looked away, embarrassed, and cleared your throat before confessing.

‘A while ago Sevika told me,’ you began, remembering when the criminal had discovered your obvious crush on your best friend, ’that there is an ancient type of number, Roman numerals, which are written with letters. And the ones in the number six are a v and an i.’

‘Vi,' she whispered, surprised, ‘my name.’

‘I don't know if it's true or if she was lying to me,’ you acknowledged, smiling between your flushed cheeks, ’but it's been my favourite number ever since.’

You watched her close her eyes, sighing a disbelieving laugh against your skin, and murmured a quiet "Oh, I love you", her lips still moving as she lifted her head so she could look at you again. She sat up a little, seeking her mouth with yours, and you bent low enough to kiss her again, both of you alone this time.

You slid your hand through the portion of her hair that was partially shaved, an impulsive decision she had made a few years ago, and drew her to you, knowing which parts of her face you shouldn't touch to avoid hurting her further. She dug her fingers into your flesh, opening her lips over yours, and you stifled a whimper when you had her in your mouth again.

When she slid her tongue over your neck, aiming to drown in your skin, and you managed to take a breath of air, you remembered that Vander could be back at any moment. And reluctantly, you had to make the decision to stop.

‘Hey, pretty girl,’ you inhaled, closing your eyes as you felt her open-mouthed kiss against the crook of your shoulder, ‘someone could walk in at any moment.’

She didn't stop, lost in you, and you had to make a superhuman effort not to just blow it all off and ask her to keep going.

‘Vi, baby,’ you tried again, ’c'mon.’

‘Fuck,’ she murmured under her breath, resting her forehead on your chest. ‘One day..., one day I'm going to have you all to myself. I swear.’

‘We'll decide on what day that will happen,’ you promised her, leaving another kiss on her lips, ‘I need it to come soon.’

She kissed you back, forgetting what you had just said, and you had to resort to another way of convincing her.

‘Besides, Powder would really appreciate it if you went to see her,’ you murmured against her mouth, ‘I'm sure she needs her big sis right now.’

Vi feigned a pout, ‘And you don't need your big girlfriend with you?’

‘I think I can survive without you for a moment,’ you replied, laughing as she put her hand over her heart, making it look like she was too hurt by your words. You quickly corrected yourself, ‘but just for a moment. I need you right back, huh?’

Her lips curved into a smile, the soft freckles on her cheeks stretching with happiness, and she ran her mouth up your neck, trailing kisses over your skin until she reached your lips. Exactly six.

‘I'll be right back, then,’ she said, rising to her feet.

‘I'll be waiting,’ you replied, your hand entwined with her.

She began to walk slowly backwards, stretching your arms until your fingers inevitably parted, and you curled up on the couch as you watched her disappear before you.

You leaned your head back against the backrest, listening to your girlfriend's footsteps climb the stairs to the upper floor, where the bedrooms were. Powder had probably done enough rummaging through the old plumbing outside, always on the lookout for new gadgets for her little inventions, and you reminded yourself to check the last ones she'd made to see if they worked. Ever since you had taught her everything you had learned among the streets of the Lanes, her passion had been to imitate the complex mechanisms she saw in your workshop —though no doubt with a more atomic outcome.

You adored that little girl.

Thinking of her, her wonderful big sister and what the future would bring, you spent some time lying on Vi's couch, resting your ankle, until you moved and your pocket watch dug into your ribs. When you pulled it out you saw it was so late that there was no point in waiting to see if the others would come back.

You walked up the stairs with a pipe-turned-cane that Vander had left around in the hope that pride wouldn't prevent you from using it, and took refuge in Vi's unmade bed.

It was later in the night, when you heard Powder hushing Vi to enter the room in complete silence, that you felt your girlfriend's arms slip around you in an embrace, pressing herself close to you to sleep beside you.

‘We're going to be fine, right?’ you asked, half asleep, your voice mushy and your eyes still closed.

‘Of course, cupcake,’ she whispered back, her lips moving against the skin of your shoulder. ‘I promise.’

ㅤㅤ© dilemmars ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment or reblogging.

#writings 🐚 ˚. ᵎᵎ #arcane #arcane fanfics #arcane x reader #arcane imagines #arcane scenarios #vi #league of legends #vi x reader #arcane vi #arcane vi x reader #vi scenarios #vi imagines #vi fanfic #vi fanfics #arcane vi scenarios #arcane vi imagines

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jibunbosh · 6 months ago

Text

Mesmerizer is a satire of TikTok, YouTube Shorts, and the rest of the modern short-form vertical video format

A brief thematic analysis.

I'm sure there are countless people already interpreting the imagery and details in this wonderful song & MV, like here and here, so I won't spend too much time retreading that ground. Miku and Teto are dancing. Miku gets hypnotized. Teto signals for help, but gets hypnotized at the end as well.

That part is obvious enough, but that's still pretty surface-level. What is this seemingly hyperspatial horror scenario supposed to mean to us?

While checking to see if anyone before me's already come to the same conclusions as I did and if I should bother not writing this text post at all (lol), I came across udin's great analysis video. She comes to the conclusion that the song tackles themes of disillusionment with reality and the ways we indulge in escapism to relieve ourselves of the pains of the world.

I agree with that reading! From practically the very beginning, we have Miku call to us - the viewer - to push away our true feelings. Teto comes in to peddle a solution, inviting us to surrender and empty our minds - in her words, "pretending to know nothing."

You, the viewer, are a critical character in this masquerade. For nearly the entire video, Miku and Teto's eyes are unfailingly trained on you. Or, well... perhaps they can't actually see you, but they can see a camera, or whatever other aperture the point of view is supposed to be from. And they know they're being watched. (Who else would Teto be sending distress signals to?)

Let's put a pin on that for later.

udin notes very early on that Miku and Teto are, conspicuously, kept in vertical frames - very similar to the video formats of TikTok (and Instagram Reels, and YouTube Shorts, and whatever other clones of the format exist.) You know, just like the animator Caststation's Rabbit Hole fan MV that went viral some months ago.

Hey wouldn't it be crazy if the song's producer, 32ki, released Mesmerizer shorts too haha. Wouldn't that be crazy.

Wow, wild.

These short-term vertical videos are captivating & alluring. If you're reading this, it's more likely than not that you've also found yourself caught up in them at least once, scrolling through the infinite algorithmic slurry and forgetting about the real-life issues you have at hand. Would you say, then, that you felt hypnotized? Mesmerized, even?

And so these two invite us to join their world and focus on the... uh... rectangle.

Their dances are repetitive, following the same loop. Their outfits are distinct, but their choreography isn't. They're copying the same formula, repeating it ad nauseam to the best of their ability.

They're doing a fucking TikTok dance.

Back to the pin I told you about earlier, with Miku and Teto looking at a camera.

Miku sways with the camera, eyes looking directly at it like a swinging pocket watch. She's been looking at it the entire time, after all. We've been seeing her via our screen this entire time, but, again, she doesn't necessarily see us. She's beholden to the camera, which she dances for day after day, caught up in its spell. She's hypnotized by it. Eventually, she breaks.

Teto, on the other hand, resists. For a while, anyway.

Despite her being the one jumping to us with the "solution" at the beginning of the MV, there's very quickly good reason to question how much agency she has in this. She dances for the camera as well, but she doesn't want to. She's signalling for help. She wants out.

Many content creators (as much as I personally loathe the non-specificity and soullessness of the term) have struggled with the adaptation to the short-form video format, and the preference the algorithm has had for these captivating, bite-sized videos. They're catchy, and easily drive up metrics. Practically anyone who's publishing their work via video format online needs to learn to adapt or fall behind, even if that means whittling their content down to fit the frame, the time, and people's shortening attention spans. Sometimes, that means compromising on specificity and completeness... or, in other words, the true representation of a full work.

The song's writer, 32ki, has been releasing songs on YouTube for several years. Their first YouTube Short, however, was posted only a year ago: a short, whittled-down segment of their previous song, CIRCUS PANIC!!!, hoping for it to win the ProsekaNEXT song contest. It was their first song to achieve widespread popularity and hit a million views.

The shorts, however, aren't the "true" versions of the song. The full song just won't fit.

We're being mesmerized as consumers of this endless stream of content, rather than appreciators of music and art. However, that relationship isn't completely symmetrical across the plane that is the 4th wall. Miku and Teto are trapped not by their attention spans, but by a compulsion to project their "truthful acting" and peddle that window into a colorful, problem-free world.

We, as the collective audience, need not dwell on any one thing for too long - we need only swipe, and move on to the next video. However, Miku and Teto are trapped behind the screen for eternity, day after day.

They're the only characters we get to see, of course. There's no evil 3rd voice synth character that's plotting to keep them trapped in there. We can't put a face to whatever force is hypnotizing them and trapping them behind the screen. It's faceless - like the inscrutable algorithms of YouTube recommendations or the TikTok For You page, or the impersonal corporations that develop & maintain those aforementioned apps. Miku and Teto's likenesses, on the other hand, are being exploited and extracted from for their entertainment value, being strung along by that metaphorical hypnotizing force like puppets on a string.

Many people, represented by Miku, enjoy their success on such platforms. It's freeing and liberating to throw oneself wholeheartedly into such an endeavor, of course! Others, represented by Teto, harbor their doubts of the emotional veracity of such a medium, but know they have little choice lest they face destruction... perhaps not literally as a person, but as an idea.

Wouldn't it be easier just to let oneself be swept away by it and give in?

#mesmerizer #analysis #kasane teto #hatsune miku #vocaloid #rambles #text poast

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notjustjavierpena · 8 months ago

Note

you have returned! hope you’re doing ok! i miss husband!javi like i’m missing a limb!

this got me thinking about a request - husband!javi having to go away for a work trip for a few days - comes back and like cute family time. once the kids are in bed he just goes crazy about reader, she’s tired but she handled the kids no problem and is kind of like no big deal about it. and he’s just feral at that. she’s such a good mum and he’s so turned on and he missed her and just ugh smut

Return

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This is a request from the 17th of October 2023. Anon, I hope you are still with us. I loved writing this for you, and I hope it lives up to your expectations. Thank you to proofreading as always @angelofsmalldeath-codeine !! thank you for hyping me @theywhowriteandknowthings and @pinkypromisepascal 💖❤️

Summary: Javier returns from a business trip after being apart from his family for three whole days.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18, domesticity, a happy family, javi having a baby in his arms and spending alone-time with his kids needs its own tag, i love yous, pregnancy, playful and teasing hubby, touch-starved, banter, dirty talk, finger-fucking, talk about female masturbation, pussy eating, loud reader, piv sex, riding, nipple sucking, lactation kink, javi gets off on you being the mother of his children, multiple orgasms, creampie, intense sex, bliss, pillow talk

Word count: 8k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54409297

Return

The sound of the door has you sprinting towards it. You throw your arms around Javier’s neck before he even manages to put down his bag, causing him to drop it and make a noise of concern in case its contents may end up spilling out on the floor. If you have to be completely honest, you don’t give a damn right now because you haven’t felt his embrace for nearly three whole days.

“Hola, baby,” he says with a voice that tells you that he is smiling. He holds you close to himself, one hand reaching around your waist and the other one settling on the back of your head. He presses your body into his own, and you try to keep yourself from making a noise that reminds you of a schoolgirl.

Javier has been on a work trip out of state. It happens from time to time that some department of the state gets the not-so-incredible idea of hiring him as a motivational speaker to make their conferences look more interesting than they actually are. Javier hates it but the money is good and his boss always ends up encouraging him in a way that mostly sounds like he has no choice.

You hate it too. The act of sleeping in your bed alone, not feeling his body heat, and not being able to simply reach out for him if you need him, is torturous. Combined with taking care of three children alone, you find yourself slowly becoming a less-than-ideal version of yourself. It’s a stressfully romantic reminder that you can barely function without him.

“Hi,” you grin widely as you pull back to receive a kiss. You splay your palms on his chest, scratching slightly as he pecks your lips repeatedly for a moment. Your whole body feels like it is made up of butterflies fluttering around each other in a romantic dance.

“Thank God that’s over,” he reaches for the suitcase when you finally allow him to step out of your arms. He walks into the kitchen, “They were talking through my whole fucking presentation, and the meetings afterward… I was just daydreaming about coming home to you and the kids the whole time.”

“That bad?” You follow him around like a puppy. If you didn’t know that he would do the same thing had it been you arriving home, you would find yourself slightly pathetic for being such a fool for him.

“I should’ve said no this time,” he says as if it had ever been an option. You nod as he continues, “I do it every year and I feel like an idiot each time.”

“We need the money,” you argue, finally moving away from your husband to go to the living room where Sebastian is lying on a blanket. He squeals in delight at seeing you, and you pick him up with a coo.

“We don’t need the money, we’ve got enough money,” Javier says from the kitchen.

“Come say hi to your son,” you change the subject and hear Javier’s steps come closer.

“Oh, there he is,” Javier says and his voice switches to baby talk as you hand Sebastian to him. He settles him on his hip, bouncing slightly where he stands, “Te he extrañado tanto, mijo (I have missed you so much, my son).”

Sebastian gurgles happily up at his father. His eyes are full of recognition at the sound of the familiar voice. You swear that you can see a little bit of the exhaustion in Javier’s eyes disappear.

“He’s been really patient with his mom these past couple of days,” you say with a chuckle, “No fussing during naps or nothing. Almost like he knew I needed the extra sympathy.”

“Bet your momma handled everything way better than I could, huh? What do you think?” Javier shifts Sebastian to sit on his arm instead so he can blow a raspberry on his face. He smiles softly at you afterward, turning his head towards you so that he and his son are cheek to cheek, “Is that wrong to assume?”

“I still think you’re better with them than me,” you say simply.

He tuts, “Bullshit.”

Sebastian makes another happy noise at hearing both of his favorite voices. He swings his tiny fists, and Javier grabs one of his hands, “If this one wasn’t so fixated on playing peek-a-boo, he’d agree. Suppose we all have our vices.”

You move past him with a roll of your eyes and a smile on your face. You go to check the food on the stove, and from behind you, Javier sniffs the air. He walks to join you by the counter, “What are you making?”

“Tu favorito (your favorite),” you smile at Sebastian instead of looking at him, leaning in to bump your nose with his tiny one. Sebastian grabs at your face.

“No te merezco, mi amor (I don’t deserve you, my love).”

“We eat in twenty minutes,” you inform after lovingly shaking your head at him. He leans in to kiss you again and you know immediately that this is just one of many kisses you will get tonight.

“Where are the rascals?” He asks.

“In the garden,” you reply and open your arms, “Give him here and go say hi. Inés has been going on about you all day, so please save me from hearing more about her super-duper-awesome Daddy.”

Carefully, Javier hands over Sebastian, “I thought you liked her super-duper-awesome Daddy.”

“I think I might actually love him,” you grin and try not to feel silly at your sappiness because you do actually love him so much that it is stupid. Sebastian clings to you as soon as he smells you, resting his head on your shoulder and bunching his fists in your shirt.

Javier kisses you once more before heading to the door to the garden. You hear him leave it open, and watch him go outside and step off the porch with a hello.

“Hey there, gremlins!” He shouts. Inés and Lucas, both engrossed in their own activities, look up at the same time. Their faces light up at the sight of their father, but Inés is the one who makes a noise so loud that you can hear it in the kitchen as if she’s speaking right next to you.

Both of them come charging whilst shouting for him. you smile fondly at the sight of them colliding with their father who lets himself be knocked backward into the grass with a happy laugh. He wraps his arms around them and squeezes them tightly, “How’ve you been? I’ve missed you.”

They both look up at his face, speaking enthusiastically at the same time until he can barely tell what is going on. Their stories of the events of the last three days weave together until it is nonsense, and they don’t seem to notice that he cannot follow along with what they are saying. He ruffles their hair and sits up with them still cradled in the crooks of his arms, “Wow wow wow, uno a la vez (one at a time).”

“I made a tower of blocks that was taller than me!” Inés says proudly and Lucas seems to let her have the spotlight for a moment. He knows that she’ll get distracted and run away soon anyway, giving him his own chance at talking to his father. Inés talks loudly, “Mommy took a picture. She said that you needed the evi— evin— uhh… evindance.”

“Evidence,” Lucas corrects her with a superior smirk.

“That’s what I said,” she huffs.

“Nuh-uh,” her brother protests and ducks out from underneath his father’s arm.

“Ya-huh!” Inés removes herself from the embrace too.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Javier chuckles, “I’ll have to ask mamá for your picture. It sounds really cool.”

“Can we build one together?” She asks with a hopeful voice, “Pleeease.”

“Let’s save it for after dinner, mija (my daughter), okay?” He suggests, “And then I’ll build a tower that’s double the size of you before you gotta sleep.”

“Really? When?” Inés reveals that she still has no real concept of time.

“After dinner, baby,” he says again, winking at Lucas who grins, “Go ask Mommy when we’re eating.”

She is up in no time, running towards you in the kitchen. It leaves Lucas the perfect opportunity to have his moment. He gets up from the ground, his jeans covered in green patches, and starts walking towards the swing set that Javier built a few years ago.

“Dad, you need to see what I’ve learned!” He says.

“Alright, let’s see,” Javier pushes himself to stand with a groan and follows, crossing his arms over his chest and watching his son get onto the seat of the swing. By clutching the chains tightly, Lucas pulls himself to carefully stand up on the swing seat.

Javier finds himself about to protest, instinctively holding out a hand to be ready for a potential fall. However, Lucas seems to have everything under control as he holds the chains tightly with both hands. He speaks as he starts swaying back and forth, looking hopeful for approval from who he knows to be the bravest man in his world, “I practiced all day yesterday!”

“Eres increíble (you’re incredible)!” Javier cheers but then smiles smugly, “Does mom know you’re doing that?”

“She told me not to,” he admits shyly.

“Well, I haven’t seen anything,” Javier winks.

“Thanks, Dad,” it sounds genuine, happy to keep a secret. Lucas lights up, “Wanna see me jump?”

“Even your old dad has limits,” Javier laughs with a shake of his head, “Get down from there. No jumping.”

“Fine,” his son grumbles.

When he is on the ground, you pop your head out of the door to call them inside, “Dinner time, chicos (guys). Lucas, come in here and wash your hands.”

You smile as they approach, and when Lucas has walked past you, you stop Javier in the doorway and curl your fingers around his tie, “You better wash them too, Peña.”

—

The sun hangs low on the horizon when dinner ends. You start gathering the plates and glasses, and Lucas joins in without hesitation which gives Javier a glimpse of what happens when he isn’t home to take care of you. Maybe his son can sense your exhaustion too. He feels a pang of guilt in his stomach but decides to make up for it by getting his daughter ready for bed.

“Come on, mija (my daughter),” he says, picking Inés up from the floor and throwing her over his shoulder to make her laugh, “Pajamas first and then building blocks.”

He carries her upstairs to the bathroom and helps her into her pajamas, braids her hair the way she likes it, and then gets her toothbrush. She spends the whole time babbling about how she’ll grow taller like her mother and thus they’ll have to build a higher tower each day.

“Open up,” he says, sitting on the lid of the toilet with her standing between his legs. He holds her toothbrush in front of her mouth.

“Do you think I’ll be taller than you someday?” She asks with her childlike eyes, and Javier has to tap her chin to make her remember to open her lips.

“No, because I’ll just wear very big shoes, even if my head bumps against the ceiling,” he tells her with a grin, “C’mon, teeth brushing time.”

Inés grimaces but follows through and he has to shush her several times because she wants to keep talking.She even sports impatience on her face as her father wipes down her mouth with a damp flannel to rid it of leftover toothpaste. She looks ready to bolt out of the door, fidgeting slightly on the spot, “You promised we could build a tower before bed.”

“And we can,” he reassures, turning the flannel over to wipe the tip of her nose playfully. She crinkles it and reaches up to rub it afterward when he moves to hang it on the laundry basket, “But we’re getting ready for bed first. Hair okay?”

She nods, not entirely convinced that she gets to stay up longer after having brushed her teeth but when Javier has put her toothbrush back in its place in the medicine cabinet, she beams as he allows her to run off to her room. He follows behind, arms stretched out in front of himself, “I’m coming to get you, mija (my daughter)!”

“Nooo!” She squeals in delight, trying to barricade the door with her tiny body but he is too fast and manages to reach her before she can even close it. He picks her up by her middle and holds her upside down, shaking her gently while she laughs and laughs.

“Mi monita (my little monkey),” he laughs too.

They spend half an hour as the architects of a tall and colorful skyscraper, Inés too impatient to see the tower reach her own height to care much for aesthetics. Javier tries suggesting a storyline of a castle but his daughter shakes her head.

“Stop, Daddy,” she commands and he holds up his hands in surrender.

“So no princesses live here?” He questions, “Not even a dragon? Or maybe a—”

“No,” she deadpans, steadfast just like Javier’s father has told him he was. He smiles when she isn’t looking, not about to get scolded by a 4-year-old for not taking their playtime seriously. He enjoys the little moments he has like these, seeing the way his daughter imitates his own behavior in a way that would make your teasing never-ending if you saw it. At that moment, he despises himself and his job because he has to leave sometimes and thus misses out on things. He should have been here when Inés built a tower as tall as herself by herself, not see it in a photograph later.

Eventually, the construction gets too tall for her to build it even taller. Javier is put to work immediately after she realizes this, and she oversees his work with important nods and looks of assessment.

“Look, Daddy!” She exclaims with each building block that Javier places on top of another. She stands beside the tower because she needs to compare her height to it, and Javier has to keep a hand on her shoulder to steady her when she gets close to making it tumble down, “Do you think it will reach the ceiling?”

“One day I’m sure it’ll reach the moon,” he replies as if it is a fact, “I for sure am tall enough.”

“No, you’re not,” she furrows her brow, thinking, “But we will just have to get a very big ladder.”

Finally, Javier has built a tower double her size. It stands wobbly on the floor. He nods towards it, “There you go, mi amor (my love), do you want to put the last block on top? The triangular one?”

She nods and he notices the telltale signs of Inés’ tiredness because her eyes have started drooping. She rubs them with a little sigh, and then holds out her arms so he can pick her up and place her on his hip.

She places the block carefully on top after Javier hands it to her. It is like all energy reserves have been used up from one moment to another. However, he doesn’t want to risk the unsteady tower falling over in the middle of the night, so he whispers in his most mischievous voice, “Do you want to knock it down?”

“Can I?” She widens her eyes.

“Sí, pero no se lo digas a tu mamá (yes, but don’t tell your mom),” he confirms, “Perhaps a big angry monkey swung from it whilst roaring like this!”

He imitates King Kong the best he can and is thankful she has no clue what it is, and she repeats after him only to push on the stacked blocks until they tumble to the floor. He kicks the remaining pieces with his foot, and she roars again. They laugh together until she yawns.

“Alright, es hora de dormir (it’s time to sleep),” he announces then, and she doesn’t protest. He shifts her slightly in his arms so she can wrap herself around him with both her arms and legs, burying her face in his shoulder. It’s clear that she has missed him. He rubs her back with both hands before holding her in place, moving towards the bed in the corner of her room.

Gently, he lays her down and crouches down beside her afterward. He pulls the covers up over her head on purpose and earns a giggle, “Oh no, where did Inés go?”

“You’re silly, Papá,” she says.

“Go to sleep, baby,” he tells her after tucking her in properly this time, “You are so tired. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you for playing with me,” Inés says with a yawn, turning on her side to look at him better. She softens a little as her eyes start to flutter closed, her father’s hand running over her head. Another yawn comes, “Te quiero, Papá. No me gusta cuando te vas y no me gusta extrañarte (I love you, Dad. I don’t like it when you leave and I don’t like missing you).”

Javier sucks in a breath. He rubs the spot between her eyebrows, trying to keep his composure, “Lo sé, mi vida (I know, my life). I love you too. Sleep well, okay?”

“Okay,” she slurs, and then her breathing slows. He tucks her in one last time, leaning in to kiss her hair softly before stretching carefully to his full height. He makes sure to turn on her night light before turning off the overhead lights, closing the door ever so gently afterward.

He lets out a deep breath right outside her room and smooths two fingers over his mustache. He hasn’t told you about this yet but he is considering quitting his job, has been considering it very seriously since Christmas when he promised to cut down on work significantly to be home a lot more with you and the kids. That and the fact that you are carrying his fourth child, and leaving you home alone with all four in the future just seems cruel.

However, it’s a comment like the one he has just received from his only daughter that sets it in stone. His search for other jobs is not a mere idea any longer but rather a necessity if he wants to continue being happy with his family.

He has to tell you and he is dying to already, but first, he wants to unpack and then tuck Lucas in too. He has three days of goodnights to catch up on.

—

He enters Lucas’ room half an hour later to the familiar sound of his son’s Game Boy, its rhythmic beeps and pings accompanied by the frantic tapping on its buttons. Lucas is sitting cross-legged in his bed, already wearing his pajamas and with his face illuminated by the screen of his console.

“Hey Dad, can you knock? I’m losing my concentration,” his son says without looking up from the screen, already sounding so grown up that Javier has to tighten his grip around the doorknob. Where did the time go?

“Ay, Lucas,” he tuts and crosses the room to stand by the bed, “Soy tu padre (I’m your father).”

“I just really don’t want to lose,” he explains and starts tapping away on the buttons again, his stare still fixed on the little jumping character. Javier waits for a moment, following his game by looking over his shoulder.

When enough time has passed and Lucas seems to relax a bit more, he interrupts again, “Alright, time for bed, muchacho (young man).”

“One more game!” Lucas finally looks up with pleading eyes. The boy sports the same puppy-look in them that you have said Javier does himself, and it was only when he looked into Lucas’ pleading face the first time that he realized what you meant. The look is damn near impossible to say no to.

“Fine, but I’m taking it afterward unless you promise me not to play all night,” he says firmly, “Even Mario has to sleep at some point.”

“I will!” He reassures quickly, “Only five minutes more, I promise.”

“But I want to talk to you about something first,” he holds out his hand for the gaming console, “Dámelo (Give it to me). It’s important you listen.”

“Am I in trouble?” Lucas reluctantly hands his most precious belonging to his father who places it on the nightstand.

“What? No, mijo (my son),” Javier gets Lucas under the covers, tucks him in, and then sits down on the edge of the bed, “How would you like it if I got to spend more time at home with you all?”

“What do you mean?” Lucas tilts his head in confusion.

“Can you keep a secret from Mom?” He asks with a gentle smile. Lucas nods. He continues, “I’m quitting my job soon.”

“Really?!” Lucas exclaims with pure shock on his face.

“Shh, your sister and your brother are asleep down the hall,” he shushes, holding a finger in front of his mouth.

“Really?” He whispers instead.

“Absolutely, really,” Javier whispers back and Lucas’ eyes sparkle with excitement. He sits up in bed, pushing the covers aside to crawl into his father’s arms. Maybe he isn’t so grown up after all. Javier hugs him back and kisses his hair, “I’ve been thinking that spending more time with you, your brother and your sister is what I’ve been missing. I don’t like leaving you here to be the big boy of the house when I’m not here.”

He continues when Lucas tightens his arms around him. He muses, “And even if I’ll still have a job, there’ll be more time for game nights and football in the garden. Would you like that?”

Lucas nods into his shoulder. Javier chuckles softly, "But remember, es nuestro secreto (it’s our secret) until I talk to Mom about it. We want to make sure she's on board with the plan, yeah?”

Lucas pulls back and nods eagerly, looking like he is already daydreaming of the extra time he'll get to spend with his father. However, there’s a tinge of anxiety in his excitement, and his voice is an unsure whisper when he speaks his concern, "Dad, what if Mom doesn't like the idea? What if she gets upset?"

“She understands how important our family time is. Trust me, te prometo (I promise) everything will be okay," he says with a reassuring smile.

“But what will your new job be?” Lucas continues, “Will it be something cool?”

“I think I might start teaching people how to catch bad guys like I used to do,” he shrugs.

Lucas grimaces, “You’re gonna be a teacher?”

“Alright, that’s enough,” he laughs, “Bedtime.”

“You said one more game!” He protests.

Javier gets up to grab the Game Boy off the nightstand. He holds it out for his son and yanks it away when he tries to take it, “One.”

“I promise,” he says and takes it when he is allowed.

“And your father is actually very cool,” Javier moves to turn off the lights. He can already hear the theme tune of Lucas’ game, “Buenas noches (goodnight).”

“Buenas noches, papá, te quiero,” Lucas beams in the few seconds he looks up.

“Y yo a tí, mijo (I love you too, my son),” he says and flicks the switch.

“They’re asleep,” Javier says as he enters the kitchen a few minutes later. He finds you leaning against the counter with a glass of alcohol-free red wine in your hand. The bottle stands on the counter behind you, its contents half-emptied as if it's been your only way of treating yourself in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed. You look tired from having been alone with all three of them - one of them still an infant - for three days and with a secret baby in your belly to top it off.

Chucho had offered to help you out but you had politely declined so as to not ask for too much of your father-in-law, not be too much of an inconvenience when he has so much to do at the ranch with getting ready for the Spring.

“I’m about to be too,” you say after a sip of your glass.

“When I’ve finally gotten you to myself?” Javier tuts and steps closer to you, stopping when he is right in front of you. He checks the baby monitor on the kitchen counter next to the wine bottle and then he takes the glass off your hand, setting it aside as well.

His hands find your sides afterward, cupping your waist for a moment before they slide around your body so he can pull you in for a long and desperate kiss. You rest your arms on his shoulders, cradling his head as he moves his mouth with yours. It is nothing but pure ecstasy to feel him like this again, so much that you forget to breathe and have to pull away too soon.

You know he is the same when he sucks a breath in at the same time as you. However, instead of kissing you again, he lets you catch your breath and hugs you close to his chest. His body feels warm, an instant smile forming on your face as he squeezes you.

“Hi,” you say, sounding drunk despite the wine having no alcohol. His arms are a harbor, the very definition of the end of unhappiness. They’re strong and enough to make your head swim, holding you with the promise of never being apart except for physically.

You feel his breath against your ear, “Hey, mamá.”

“I’m so glad you’re home with me again,” you close your eyes as you inhale through your nose, letting the scent of him flood your system.

Javier pulls back and stares at you for a moment. He smirks, a mischievous gleam appearing in his eyes. Then he lets go of you to reach up and teasingly pull down your top to look down into it.

“Ay, Javi,” you scold with a roll of your eyes.

“What?” He acts oblivious.

“You’re acting insane, and I’m trying to be genuine.”

“I haven’t seen you in three days, mi amor (my love), you can’t blame me,” he protests your accusation, “Besides, this is me being very genuine.”

“Missed you too,” you sigh.

“And I’ve missed you, Jesus,” he wraps his arms around your waist again, pulls you closer to his body, and uses every opportunity to kiss you after each sentence, “Missed these tits. Missed your gorgeous pussy. You gotta let me have it tonight, mamácita.”

“Take me upstairs then,” you lean your head back when he presses his lips to your throat, “We’re not doing it in the kitchen. Against popular belief.”

Javier snorts, “But we always—“

“I said against popular belief, baby,” you stress.

“Fine, c’mere then,” his arms slide down over your hips, and when they reach your knees, he scoops you up with his strong arms and lifts you over his shoulder. You answer with a yelp that turns into a panicked laugh but he simply smacks your ass and starts walking. In the middle of the chaos, you manage to reach for the baby monitor on the counter.

“You are incorrigible,” you say with a dramatic sigh.

“Yes, wife, yes, wife good, I like wife,” he replies in his best caveman accent and you snicker all the way up the stairs, legs dangling over his shoulder and ready to scold him each time he gropes your ass.

When he throws you down on the bed, you are having a full-on laughing fit and the bubbling in your chest feels so good. Even better, when he looms over you by the end of the bed while unbuttoning his shirt, only to crawl on top of you. He kisses your wine-stained lips, scooping you up into his arms and you return his embrace after throwing the baby monitor on the bed.

“I love your laugh,” he says softly when he needs a breath, bumping your noses together.

“You just kidnapped me from the kitchen, that’s no laughing matter,” you tease. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss your neck while you talk.

“Then why are you giggling like a schoolgirl?” He places a hand on your belly that still keeps a secret between the two of you. No one knows yet.

There is concentration on his face when his hand moves up under your top, smoothing the fabric up until you stretch your arms above your head to help him rid it off of your body.

“Hmm,” you think out loud, “Maybe because I have this terrible schoolgirl crush on you.”

“Really? I thought marriage was just a matter of convenience,” he chuckles and kisses your neck again. You lay your hands on his shoulders, smoothing them over the broadness of his bare skin that’s been missing underneath your fingertips and pushing him down towards your chest.

“This is pretty good too, most convenient,” you note with a grin as he follows your silent order, moving his mouth south on you until he plants kisses between your breasts. You reach underneath your back to undo your bra, and he peels it off of you and sighs with satisfaction as soon as he has your upper body naked.

“Look at you,” he groans, throwing the bra to the side and diving back into you. He kisses the swell of your right breast, “You make me so fucking horny.”

You throw your head back as he lets the flat of his tongue trail wetly from one breast to the other. He sucks a nipple into his mouth and earns his first moan, to which he presses his clothed crotch into your thigh to show you how hard he is already.

“I’ve been wet since I saw you at the door,” you admit, “Been thinking of your cock inside of me each night. So fucking lonely without you.”

“You should have called me,” he mutters, mouth going further down on your body until he reaches the hem of your jeans. He undoes the button and zipper, yanking them over your hips and pulling them off your legs.

“I was too busy screwing myself,” you tell him and he immediately finds your eyes. That clearly hit a spot, “You like that, huh?”

“Tell me about it,” he struggles a little with the jeans as they sit around your ankles, but the desperation has him yanking them off with enough enthusiasm to pull you along.

“If you weren’t trying to drag me onto the floor— oh, shit.”

Javier has dragged your underwear along with the jeans, and he is now sinking two fingers deep inside of your dripping cunt and pressing them upwards. It’s what you get for being snarky, you suppose, staring down at him as he fucks you open on his digits.

“Your mouth— ah, put your mouth on me,” you try to command.

“Quiet down, baby. I literally just put the kids to bed. You want them running in here?” He shushes you with an amused grin, adding a third finger to your squelching cunt to make you groan, “While I’m wearing you like a puppet?”

You rock against his hand with a chuckle that develops into a moan, “Imagine the conversation that’ll start.”

“I’d rather have a conversation about how filthy you’ve been while I was away,” he speeds up his fingers to make you cry out against your hand but he doesn’t make you come, changing his mind halfway there to follow through on your request, “No, actually I’ll have you monologue about it because I’m going to eat your pussy as you do it.”

You tremble as he takes your clit in his mouth, easing his tongue over the hard nub over and over again whilst timing it with the strokes of his fingers. You feel so full of his digits, and it takes you a moment to trust yourself not to cry at the ceiling the second you remove your hand from your mouth.

“Took a long shower the day before yesterday, after the kids had gone to school and Seb was napping,” you begin with shaking breaths. You need to start the sentence three times before you can make your words make sense, “Used the faucet on the bathtub and came so goddamn hard. You should’ve seen me with my legs up against the wall.”

Below you, Javier hums in approval and it vibrates through your throbbing pussy. You continue.

“I imagined you going down on me with your warm tongue, circling my clit— yes, just like that,” just talking about it makes you gush from how horny it makes you, wetness dripping past Javier’s lips and into his mouth. He groans against you and mouths at your pulsing clit. You find yourself much closer from how well your body remembers the orgasm you had in the shower; the warm water pounding rhythmically against your clit, your toes curling, and— and.

You grind into his mouth and fuck yourself on his fingers as you come, the hot and heavy feeling of an orgasm crashing over you and intensifying as it peaks. You have to bite your lip to keep from screaming, still not managing to keep the high-pitched ah! from reverberating through the room. Javier’s fingers feel so much bigger inside of you as your cunt strangles them, and when you look down at him, you see that he is crashing his hips against the bed to feel just a bit of relief.

You have lost all restraint in your noises as you feel the pleasure ebb out, leaving you a whimpering and panting mess on the bed that wants it all. Somehow you are deeply satisfied at the same time as knowing that this is not enough; you need all of him, and you need him inside of your cunt until you can barely move from the spot. The fact that your body still works when he pulls his fingers from you is an indication of not having had enough.

“Need to fuck you,” he says from below you, crawling on top of you. He has left a damp spot on the sheets from where his cock has dragged against them, and he looks like he is in pain at this point if he doesn’t get to feel you around him, “Now, mi amor (my love).”

“No,” you stop him as he tries spreading your legs with a gentle yet hurried hand.

“No?” His brows furrow, a protest on the tip of his tongue.

“Let me ride you,” you beg, already pushing on his shoulders and feeling how he is giving in in an instant, “Please, I want you so deep in me.”

“Yes, yeah, okay,” he breathes, moving to lie on his back with a pillow under his head. You shake as you lift yourself to straddle him, holding out your arms in front of yourself to signal that you want him to be close to you. He reads you without you saying anything and sits up in your bed so you can be chest to chest.

You reach beneath yourself to take hold of the base of his cock, holding him in place so you can sink down on his shaft until he is buried inside of you to the hilt. You are dripping wet. The motion of engulfing him in your heat is smooth and effortless, and the moans the both of you let out are closer to whines because you are so starved.

“It’s so good, you’re so wet, baby,” he mumbles quietly in your ear, nosing along the spot behind it. You arch into him, nodding without any words coming to your mind. Instead, you let out a soft gasp as he fucks up into you.

Nothing describes being this close to him after not even being able to kiss him for three days. Other couples would shake their heads if they knew how desperate you get from merely three days apart. You only feel sorry for them. They don’t get how your days are spent with taking every opportunity to lay eyes on each other, breathe and taste each other or even just being able to put a hand on each other’s shoulder, hip, the small of the back.

“Let me,” you pant as he moves underneath you, sending you into a state where you need to concentrate if you want to get out a proper sentence, “I want to fuck this cock. Please, let me.”

Javier stills his hips underneath you. He seems to be holding his breath as he watches you place your hands on his shoulders and then feel them slide behind his head to tilt his head backward. He looks up at you as you start moving on him, rocking in his lap so he barely pulls out of you.

“Come on, that’s a good girl,” he says when he finally sucks in a breath, eyes gazing up at you with a pussydrunk look in them. When they glaze over like this, you know his words will be ravenous and never-ending, “Fuck, baby. That’s it. There you go. Let me touch you so deep inside.”

It doesn’t take long for him to be distracted by your moving chest as you sensually drag your hips over his thick cock. He did tell you that he had missed your breasts but that had been in a slightly playful manner; you never thought that you would actually start to feel beautiful under his hungry eyes. It shouldn’t come as a shock to you because he always knows how to make you feel desirable.

“Attagirl,” he groans, holding your hip tightly with his right hand to help you keep your balance, “God, look at those pretty tits.”

You arch your back as he puts his other hand on your left breast, bending his head down to mouth along the swell until he reaches your nipple. He swirls his tongue once but it is too hard to keep going when you move more frantically on top of him to pleasure yourself, so instead, he wraps his whole mouth around the hardened, spit-slicked peak and sucks until your cunt clamps down in surprise of how good it feels.

“Fuck,” you pant, closing your eyes. The noises of him sucking on your breasts fill your ears and along with how it is making your belly swirl, it makes you impossibly wetter, coating his dick in a milky-white ring. A lewd thought enters your mind. Perhaps, he keeps knocking you up because of this; your cup size has remained the same for a while because you’ve been breastfeeding for months now, and with another baby on its way, you know that the months will keep adding up in the near future.

A drop slips into his mouth and spurs him on to give you a thorough taste. Your brows pull together as a more high-pitched moan leaves your open mouth and he pulls back to shush you gently. Then he sucks greedily again.

You had once asked him why he loved this, and he had replied that the very fact that you were producing milk so sweet to nurture his child went straight to his dick.

“Javi,” you whine to tell him just how you feel. He removes his mouth from your sensitive chest to talk, albeit reluctantly. However, when he notices the change in your sounds and your pitch, he doesn’t want to look away from your face again until he has seen you lose it.

“Oh, you wanna come, huh? Then fuck me,” he says with milk-stained lips. You move desperately in his lap as he spurs you on, feeling the head of his cock dragging back and forth inside of you, laying against your g-spot perfectly if you tilt your hips just a bit. Javier’s eyes burn as they stare up at you but he cannot help himself from occasionally glancing down at your bouncing tits. Your need to come grows, and when you press down slightly harder, you see stars behind your eyelids. A second orgasm tears through you, and one of the hands that has gripped your hip hard enough to bruise comes up to cover your mouth because you start screaming. It’s so intense to have missed him so much.

“There she is,” he growls lowly, watching your face contort with pleasure until tears slide down your face and underneath his palm that’s tightly secured over your whining mouth, “That’s my good girl. You know how to come on this fucking cock, fuck, you feel so good, mi vida (my life), choking my dick. Keep going— no no, don’t stop, ride through it, baby.”

You force yourself to continue moving and keep crying into his hand, wet from drool and tears by now. The oversensitivity is mind-numbing, toe-curling, and somehow still not enough.

“Almost made me come, mi chica sucía y desesperada (my dirty, eager girl),” he says through a breathless chuckle but then raises his brows as your pitch starts climbing once again. You have successfully bypassed your body and started building up another high, “You’re gonna come again? Díos mio (my God), my beautiful wife is insatiable.”

Any chance of talking back at him is lost because you would wake up the whole neighborhood if he dared remove his hand from your mouth. To put his filthy mouth in its place, you start bouncing in his lap to the point where his naked thighs crash harshly into your ass. The sound of skin slapping against skin is dirty but Javier’s desperate groans are obscene. He can barely talk now without his voice wavering, and with the way he repeats himself, you know he is doing everything in his power to let you come one more time before he bursts, “Use my cock, yes like that. K-keep going— you’re gonna make me come. Oh fuck.”

When he notices that you are trying to say something, he removes his hand and allows you a single sentence before clamping the hand down over your mouth again.

“I can’t do it anymore,” you whimper with exhaustion, thighs having started to tremble with the effort you are putting into bouncing in his lap. They hurt at this point, straining despite how much you also use your arms to steer yourself.

“Don’t worry about it, Go until you can’t fucking do it anymore and I’ll take over, yeah?” He nods at you when you make a mhm-noise into his hand, eyes encouraging and his breaths less composed.

When you come a second time on his dick, you falter immediately. The sensation of the pleasure that has built up so fast again crashes down and takes you with it in its fall. You are silent when it’s teetering on the edge, and then it makes your voice crack when you feel the first tug behind your throbbing clit.

There is only the feeling of your convulsing cunt making you believe in a higher power - in this case, Javier fucking Peña - and then said higher power wrapping his arm around your sticky back to lift you up and down. He snaps his hips upwards to use your body for his own pleasure, and after a series of frantic movements, he comes with a groan. The feeling of his warm spill inside of you has you whimpering, and you try your best to rock your hips the best your exhausted body can. If it weren’t for all the dopamine in your system, you are sure it would hurt.

“Yes, yes, yesyesyes. Oh, baby, fuck the come out of me, yes, that’s it,” he chants underneath you as he fills you up, moving to meet you halfway until he also has no more to give. When he stills, he grabs your face to smash your lips together in a messy, desperate kiss that is more teeth than anything else. It feels impossible to get close enough to him, even if your chests stick together from sweat.

A moment later, you fall down onto his chest with a chuckle, head swimming from what you have just done. Your arms lie on either side of his head, and your cheek is pressed into his hair. You can feel his nose dig into your shoulder, inhaling you and your post-sex scent, and his arms tighten around your waist as he hugs you close.

“That was fantastic,” you groan with him still inside of you. He gives you one more thrust, pressing his hips upwards, and you half-moan in oversensitivity and half-laugh in surprise, “Stop it, Peña.”

He laughs breathlessly, placing a kiss on your bare skin. Then he slips out of you with a grunt, and you feel his come drip from you already, down onto his cock and thighs. He rubs your sides with his broad hands, “I have missed you as well, you know.”

“I don’t ever want you to go again,” you demand sillily.

“You say that every time.”

“I mean it every time.”

There’s a pause between the two of you. It lasts several minutes where you just lie on top of his chest. 5, 10, 15 minutes pass. Javier says nothing yet you know him well enough to know that he is considering his words.

“I was thinking of something,” he finally says.

You sit up at that, “What?”

“You know how I said something about work during Christmas? That I wanted to be more home with you and the kids, that it would make me happier?” He begins, looking up at you and not hesitating in his eye contact with you.

You suddenly pay a lot more attention, “Yeah?”

“I was thinking that since I will have a bunch of kids to carry around a lot more years from now, I can’t be running around in the force anymore. My back is fucking killing me, and I also want to make love to my wife on the regular,” he tells you and you know instantly that it’s serious even if he says it with a chuckle, “I was thinking of teaching at the local college. They have a criminology course, and with my time in school with my head in the books - I mean, my bachelor’s degree - it shouldn’t be a problem to get a job there.”

“Are you serious?” You gape at him.

“Yes, of course, I am,” he furrows his brow slightly. Only now, he looks unsure but still keeps talking, “It would mean nothing of this sort either; me going away.”

“Babe, that’s amazing,” you fall down into him again, causing an umph-noise from your husband, and then you crash your lips into his. You kiss him as if your life depended on it, sliding your fingers through his dark hair and tugging slightly as if trying to get him even closer to you.

He looks drunk and disheveled when you pull back again, a goofy and satisfied smile on his face. His fingers scratch slightly along your back, “You’d like that, huh?”

“Yes, please,” you beam with happiness.

“Then you shall have it, mi vida (my life),” his hands travel down to your ass which he gropes obscenely, and when you make a noise, he smacks your right cheek. You feel his cock, hard again, poke into your thigh.

You look down between you, “This is a surprise. I thought you’d gotten old…”

“Like I said…” He grabs your waist and pulls you down to lie on your back. A yelp escapes your lips.

He is inside of you mere seconds after, causing you to longingly whine. He thrusts once then twice, and you throw your head back to take it, “…I’ve missed you.”

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

671 notes · View notes

latenightdaydreams · 7 months ago

Note

Haii!

How do we feel about a smut with pornstar reader & pornstar Konig? Like- their comments in their vids/twts/etc. always saying to collab w/ eachother and after awhile, they finally do 👀

-🖤

(Also sorry if I already sent this- I forgot if I did😭)

You didn't! I love the idea of being shipped with Pornstar!König. The Austrian with a monster cock🤤

Pornstar!König x Pornstar!Reader (fem)

MDNI🔞

Master List

>cw: fem/afab, p in v, oral

3.1k word count

König is famous in the adult film world. During lock down he downloaded Only Fans and ended up making his own account. His striking blue eyes, hidden face mystery, and 6’10 280 lb frame of solid muscles weren’t the only reasons he became so famous; he also has a 10-inch cock the size of most women’s forearms.

You, on the other hand, are a cam girl turned OF girl. You are known by your fan base never being scared of a challenge. You use toys that make people's jaws drop. Your body being strikingly stunning along with a beautiful face and kinky appetite for sex, you blew up quickly on the platform.

Because of the material you make, your fans instantly made you aware of another content creator, König. After about the 100th comment, you decide to go on your X account and check out his page. Instantly you notice the mask covering his face and his blue eyes. His bio gives his height and weight, your jaw drops. You continue to scroll and see a photo he’s recently posted. He’s wearing gray sweatpants with no shirt. His body is stunning, but your eyes drop to the outline of his erection in his pants, his dick literally hanging down his leg. You smirk now, understanding why the fans think you two should film together. You go ahead and give him a follow.

◅ ◃ ▹ ▻

König has also seen the comments. After the first one he instantly looked you up. His eyes shot open when he saw the photo of toys on your profile. Scrolling down a few posts he sees you, and wow. You’re wearing a pink lace thong with your breast fully exposed. You have a sweet smile on your face and you’re standing in a field of wildflowers. You look ethereal. He instantly took notice of you, but contrary to his online persona, he is very socially awkward. He has no idea how to reach out to you, or any girl; that’s why he only posts solo. Then while he is scrolling looking at his feed, he gets a notification. You just followed him.

He quickly sits up and smiles. He clicks your profile and begins to look at all the photos you’ve posted again. His heart rate is picking up, he doesn’t know if he should message you or wait. That’s when your phone chimed and he got the notification that you messaged him.

> “Hey! I’m sure you know of me from your comments 😂, but I’m y/n!”

He reads your message probably ten times before getting the courage to respond to you.

> “Hey, ja, I know you. It’s nice to finally talk.”

He hits send quickly and waits for you to respond. He can feel his heart rate picking up. He hopes that you’re messaging him to make content together. He can feel his excitement rising as his leg bounces waiting for your next message.

You sit feeling nervous yourself as you look down at your phone. He responded so quickly it didn’t give you time to think of a smooth way to ask about a collab. You’ve only ever filmed solo or with women, never a man.

> “I was wondering if you’d be interested in maybe getting together? I see you mostly do solo, so please feel no pressure. I just figured the fans would love it.”

König stands and punches the air like his favorite sports team had just won the big game. Now he just has to act smoothly and not ruin this.

> “I’d love to.”

Both of you do a little celebration dance, feeling excited about the possibility of filming together. You both continue to message back and forth and work out how you’d both meet on account of him being based in Austria, but you both work something out.

◅ ◃ ▹ ▻

One week later you post on your social media accounts a photo of a plane at the airport. The comments explode with assumptions and more tagging of König. During the next few hours, you continue to post your travels while König doesn’t post at all.

That is until he posts a photo of a small feminine hand in his and then you post a bathroom mirror selfie with a man’s large arm around your waist. You sit with König in your Airbnb on the living room sofa, both giggling as people begin to realize the collab is about to happen.

König paid for you to fly to him, picked you up at the airport, and paid for your Airbnb. You knew König was 6’10, but seeing him in person actually blew you away. Plus, he is so sweet. In person, his face remains covered by the mask. You have questions, but you leave it alone.

Your first day together you spend the day going over health, boundaries, safe words, and any questions you might have for each other. Once everything is settled, you both plan to film the next day to allow you to get some rest.

◅ ◃ ▹ ▻

König wakes up early and works out the day of filming. He eats a light breakfast and takes a long shower to help with his nerves. He is excited to have sex with a woman that he knows is very capable of taking someone his size instead of having only the tip of his cock in someone. Getting dressed in sweats and a black shirt, he makes his way to you.

You are currently sitting on the floor in front of a full-length mirror to do your makeup. You just do a light natural look for today. You’re wearing a black silk robe over your nude body with two sets of lingerie set out, waiting to get König’s opinion.

A knock at the door, you jump up and rush to the front door. Smiling, you let König inside and motion for him to follow you to the main bedroom.

“Okay, so I have two options for today and I wanted your input.”

He follows you to see a large king size bed with white lush looking comforters and he feels his nerves spike again. He sees one black lingerie set and then a light pink one that looks like the one from the first photo he ever saw of you.

“Pink, it will look great with your skin tone.” König says looking at you with a soft smile behind his mask.

You grab pink and go to the connected bathroom to get dressed.

König walks around the room and sets up the ring lights and cameras for different angles. He stands looking around and waiting for you. Slowly he takes his shoes off when the bathroom door opens and he gets to see you. He’s seen you naked online, but in person you looked even more perfect. He stands and just looks at you for a while before speaking.

“You look lovely.”

“Thank you,” you can’t help but to find his Austrian accent attractive. “Thanks for setting up too.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem.” König reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls it off.

Your eyes go over his body and smirk at how attractive he looks. You notice his erection forming as you walk to the bed.

“Do you want to film everything? Like role play and all?” You ask in a soft voice, the tension in the air heavy as you’re both ready now.

“Uh, let's film it all. I’d rather have more to edit from.” And also, because he’d want to watch these moments with you later.

◅ ◃ ▹ ▻

König lifts his mask slightly, the first time his audience will be seeing his sharp jawline and his thin soft lips. His lips meet yours in a tender first kiss as his hands begin to roam over your body. His hand squeezes your breast gently as your lips part and your tongues caress each other’s.

You move your hand down his chest, feeling the small amount of chest hair the covers his chest. His muscles twitch lightly at your touch. His penis now fully erect in his pants as he tastes your lips and feels the touch of your soft skin.

He moves his hands behind your back and begins to unhook your bra. Slipping the straps off your shoulders slowly before pulling it away from your body. He breaks the kiss and gently leans you back on the bed. His lips kiss all over your breasts until he finds one of your nipples. He licks in slow circles around it before closing his lips and sucking lightly. Opening his mouth again he begins to flick his tongue.

You let out a soft moan as your hand reaches for the back of his head, pressing him against you, the fabric of his mask soft. His other hand goes down to your thighs and begins to gently move up them, caressing the soft skin on the inside of your thighs.

He pulls away from your breasts and whispers to you, “Is it okay if I touch?”

“Yeah,” you smile at him asking for consent.

His hand grabs your leg and moves it to where the camera can see everything, He moves the thin fabric of your thong aside and begins to rub his thick fingers between your folds. You’re already wet when he touches you and that excites him knowing you’re so turned on. He moves his lips back to yours as he gently rubs your clit. Small moans leaving your lips, muffled into his. He eventually slips one finger down and pushes it gently into you. He feels the texture of your walls and feels how tight you are. He can only think about shoving himself deep inside of you, but he wants you to get off first.

He moves his kisses from your lips back down to your breast before kissing down your stomach. He moves your leg a little more as he rests his head on your thigh, he kisses your clit before flicking his tongue. Your legs jerk and you sit up to look down at him eating you out. He can’t get over how good you smell and taste. He is surprised you aren’t selling your panties; men would pay big money for this.

“Oh, fuck König,” you moan caressing the side of his face.

König slips in another finger as picks up his pace, as he continues to lick your clit. Hearing you moan his name means that he is on the right path to get you to orgasm for him. Your hand grasps the fabric of his mask, making him smirk before he switches to begin just sucking your clit. Your legs tremble as you drop your head back and lay back down. The sound of your wet cunt gets louder as you cum on his fingers. He keeps going for a while before pulling back.

You lie there panting before you giggle and sit up, “Your tongue is amazing.”

He chuckles and goes in to kiss you, making you taste your sweet pussy on your own lips. You move your hands to his chest before moving down to his cock, pulling back you pull at the waistband of his sweatpants. His heart rate began to pick up. The videos of you deep throating your toys comes into his mind and he gets excited. Lifting his ass, König helps you pull his sweats off of him, boxers as well.

Seeing his cock spring free makes you smile; his cock is as big as some of your toys. König leans back to support himself on his elbows to allow you room but he still wants to watch.

Grasping his dick at the base, you stroke it lightly as you lick the back of his tip. König’s breathing heavy as his blue eyes watch with anticipation. You move your hand and lick from the base all the way up his shaft, back and forth and a few times before finally wrapping your lips around the head of his cock. You begin to suck on the tip and move your head in a fast motion making König moan out. He reaches down and moves some of your hair out of your face.

“Ah, ja, just like that.” His voice shakes as you keep going.

Finally, you lower your head down the length of his shaft. Your full lips wrapping tightly around him as you take his ten inches inch by inch down your throat. König watches in amazement as he has never had a woman be able to take more than half his cock into their throat. He takes a sharp breath before letting a small moan out.

You feel a bit of pride being able to take someone like him, to make him moan like that. You look up at his eyes as you continue to suck his cock.

“Is this okay?” König asks as his hand moves to the back of your head.

“Mmhhmm,” you respond without stopping.

His hand gently guides you motion as the other one is behind him supporting himself. He lets himself enjoy the pleasure of your skills. Gently lifting your face with one hand he brings your lips to his, lifting his mask and kissing you. He wants you fully now.

Pushing your body back without breaking the kiss, his hands caress your body. You both agreed on no condom but to us the pull out method and since both of you are clean. Slowly pulling away from your soft lips he looks down at you and removes your thong, tossing it to the side.

“Are you ready, Schatz?”

“I am.”

“Gut.”

Grabbing you by your hips he drags you forward. He is such a massive man that he can easily move you. You giggle as he does and he responds with a chuckle of his own.

“Your voice is so sweet.” He tells you as he grasps your thigh as pulls one leg back for the camera view again. He rubs himself back and forth over your folds before he begins to push himself into you. His eyes watch your face to watch for pain or discomfort, yet he sees nothing but bliss.

König pushes himself as far in as your tight cunt will take at first. You moan out, grabbing his arm and the bed sheets. Your sweet pussy welcomes him with a warm wet hug and he pushes in more, a moan leaving his lips as you take him.

“You’re so tight, Schatz.” König speaks with a voice dripping with lust. His hips begin to thrust harder into you, letting his desire take over.

Your lips hug his fat cock as he pumps it into you leaving your creamy cum on his cock. He pulls out and stands to grab one of the cameras. He comes back and points it to your pussy as he slides his cock back into you, recording the way your tight cunt can easily stretch for him.

“Look at that beautiful pussy, you truly take cock so well. So fucking tight.” He picked up his pace, holding the camera in place as you reached down and put your own leg back. Your fingers digging into your own flesh as you moan out his name.

“Please König, fuck me.” You look into his eyes begging for him to get you off again.

König returns the gaze as he fucks you harder. The phone picking up the sounds your pussy is making and both of your moans.

“That’s it, cum for me, good girl.”

Your eyes flutter back as your body tenses, your cunt tightening around his cock. He puts the phone down and fucks you through your orgasm letting the other cameras pick it up. His body leaning into yours as your hands move to his back and begin to drag your nails along his pale skin.

“Good girl,” he whispers to you as he lifts his mask slightly to kiss you all over your neck and face. His hands grasp your body tightly as he continues to thrust into you. His balls begin to tighten and he feels the temptation of just cumming deep inside of you, but he can’t.

Quickly König pulls out and grabs the phone again to record. “Come here,” he grabs your hand to pull you up and sits at the edge of the bed. He points the camera down at you as you scoot closer to his cock.

Moving your pillowy lips up and down his cock, sucking as you do. You begin to lick your own wet from his cock.

“Suck it Liebling,” his voice breathy.

You move your mouth to wrap around his cock again. König grabs your hair in his hand to hold your head steady as he begins to buck his hops forward, face fucking you gently. You look up at him, not breaking eye contact as he looks down at you. He moves his 10-inch cock deeper and deeper as he fucks faster. Your eyes begin to water as you close your eyes.

“Open, look at me. Please.” König moans.

Once your eyes open and you look back up at him, he presses your head all the way down. His cock outline is visible in your throat. You gargle on his cock before he pulls it out and begins to jerk off quickly. You open your mouth and hold your breast up waiting for his load.

He cums on you, letting out loud grunts of pleasure as he does. His milky white seed shoots some on your breast, your mouth, but most on your face. He smiles at how beautiful you look covered in him. You play with it a little for the camera before he stops recording.

You both relax on the bed and pant, relaxing. König looks over to you and gestures for you to come snuggle with him. The other two cameras picked up the sweet moment.

◅ ◃ ▹ ▻

The video blows up on both of your pages. Fans ecstatic to see you get dominated by König’s monster cock finally. The chemistry you both had radiating through the camera adding to the passion. People requesting more and starting to ship the two of you.

You have 5 more days in Austria and König is excited to spend those few days with you. He’s at home, late at night, watching the clips of him snuggling you after sex. A small smile on his face as he watches it over and over. He didn’t want to, but he caught feelings. He wonders if you feel the same.

#konig #konig x reader #konig x y/n #könig #konig cod #könig x reader #konig smut #könig smut #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig x reader smut #konig x you #könig call of duty #könig x y/n #könig x you #smut #konig call of duty #cod smut

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subbmissivesuccubus · 1 year ago

Text

No secrets around here ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you all so much for 1K followers <3 <3 <3 I am undeserving but very appreciative. I am working on Bully Part 3 but please have this one shot as a token of my love.

It's a story suggested by my patron! If you'd like to suggest prompts for me to write, please consider checking out my patreon (link in bio) <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary : Satoru and Suguru find out that their sweet, seemingly innocent girlfriend writes smutty fanfiction. They decide to make her fantasies come true while also making sure to teach her that keeping secrets from them have consequences <3

Contains : Fem reader. Established relationship. Degradation. Threesome M/M/F. Gojo and Geto being mean but with love. A bit meta.

“Dude- Suguru- SUGURU!”

“Stop yelling, Satoru.” The raven-haired man whined, rubbing a hand over his face as he was barely awake, “You better be dying if you’re calling me at 3 in the morning.”

“Oh, trust me, you’ll wanna hear what I say.”

“Get to the point.”

“Ok, so you know how every time we visit our cutie, she’s super protective of her phone?”

“…Yeah.”

“And how she immediately shuts her laptop close if we walk in?”

“…Yeah.”

“I found out why. I just sent you a link.”

Satoru hung up and Suguru groaned, looking his phone annoyance before the ding of a message received rang out. He raised an eyebrow as he read the message, the link opening upto a website called…tumblr? He was aware of the site but it never interested him enough to truly put any effort into finding out more about it. He also knew of the concept of fanfiction (thanks to a certain someone) and knew that Tumblr had a lot of creators posting their fanmade content.

But he had no idea it was…something like this.

Reader is being a brat and gets put in her place – Fem Reader X Demon Slayer men.

Where the men of One-Piece love to cum <3

Dick headcannons, a.k.a. who among the Honkai men are packing~

Suguru scoffed as he scrolled down the posts, surprised at how lewd this author was. Their writing was filthy and degenerate yet written fairly well. If he wasn’t so sleepy, Suguru was sure he could jerk off to a story or two. The comments under the posts were just as feral, people going crazy over the fanfictions, often proclaiming their desire to be with these…fictional men? He didn’t quite understand it but who was he to judge.

He paused as he read the title of a post, letting out a hum as the title hit a bit close to home.

Reader gets pounded roughly by her two boyfriends.

It was a post with thousands of notes which got Suguru curious. He clicked on the tag labelled #two boyfriends and was surprised to see several stories written by the author of the reader having two lovers and their sexual escapades together:

Reader gets both her holes stuffed with cock. Or the two boyfriends compete to see who can get her to squirt first. Reader is spanked silly and can’t sit properly for days. As punishment, the two boyfriends overstimulate the reader for hours, making her cum over and over again even as she begged them to stop.

The list went on and on and on, making the blood rush to Suguru’s cheeks at how raw and filthy and…desperate these fanfictions were.

His phone dinged, a message from Satoru which reminded the black-haired man of how he wound up here to begin with. So there are some smutty fiction online, but what does it have to do with you? He could only come up with one conclusion but…that couldn’t be it. Right?

Satoru <3 : Did you see all the two boyfriends fics?

Me : Yeah. You’re not saying that…she wrote all of this, are you?

Suguru waited with bated breath as the three dots danced on his screen, Satoru typing out the answer. You were someone who refused to even curse in daily conversation! There was no way… He choked as he got a response, Satoru simply saying:

What do you say we show our baby how much better her real boyfriends are?

~~~~~

“Boys!” you whined as Suguru and Satoru stuck close to you, one on either side, “I’m trying to cook here!” “We’re not stopping you!” Satoru said with a pout as he placed his cheek on top of your hair, “We just wanna be close to our baby. Is that so bad?” “Exactly.” Suguru purred as a hand came up to wrap around your waist, pressing himself close to you, “Is loving you such a crime?”

You rolled your eyes at their theatrics. One thing worse than having one dramatic boyfriend would be having two. Not that you were complaining, of course. How on Earth could you be upset over having the two most powerful sorcerers be your lovers? It sometimes felt like a dream- that these two had fallen in love with you and were over by your place for a domestic night of homecooked food and movies. They were more clingy than usual, a hand or lips always on your body at all times. You caught them exchanging glances with each other once in awhile but you simply ignored it. It wasn’t the first time your men had this telepathic communication going on between them. As long as they weren’t planning on pranking you, you decided to simply focus on the meal you were cooking.

“So, babe,” Satoru purred as he placed a kiss to the crown of your head, “You’re on Tumblr a lot, right?”

You scoffed, “You know I am. Why’d you ask? You finally wanna join?”

“I sure do!” he responded, “And if you had told me about all the porn that was on that website, I would have joined sooner.”

“Porn?” you repeated, confused, “What are you talking about? It doesn’t allow-”

“All of that smutty fanfiction- I was up all night reading them!”

You froze, hoping that the two of them didn’t notice. “Oh, uh, yeah there’s a lot of that.”

“And, you know, we found this…writer.” Suguru said, his voice dripping like honey as his hand ran up and down your waist, “Who writes the most…filthy things. Degradation, spankings, brat taming, not to mention threesomes between two men and a woman. Kind of similar to us, right?”

You gulped, trying to focus on your food even though your mind was running a mile. Did they know? How did they find out? You were so careful of your things! You always made sure to have an eye on your phone and laptop so how did they…

“Well, only the threesome parts.” Satoru said, “We’re not nearly as kinky as the people in those stories. We could be, of course, but we wouldn’t want to scare our baby with how…intense we can be, right?”

“Of course.” Suguru purred, leaning forward to kiss your temple, his lips soft against your skin, “Our sweet princess is so innocent and vanilla. How on Earth can we treat her like the girls in those smutty, dirty stories? We have to make love to her like the Queen she is. There’s no way our baby would like to be punished or have her pussy filled until she’s bred.”

“Exactly.” Satoru said, noting the way your breathing was quickening, smiling as he saw your ears turn red, “Unless…there’s something she’s not telling us.” You gasped as his hand trailed down your back, making you shiver before it landed on your ass. You mewled as he grabbed a cheek harshly, his fingers digging into your plush skin, both of them so close to you that you could feel their hot breath against your burning face.

“So, sweetheart.” Suguru said, a twinkle in his eye as he turned off the heat of the stove, gently taking your utensils out of your hands, “Anything you’d like to share?”

You gulped, Satoru squeezing you greedily and making it difficult for you to form sentences, “H-How did you find out?”

“Well, I might have peeked at your phone when you left it unlocked yesterday.” Satoru confessed, “I wasn’t planning on looking but when I saw the notification of someone begging you to write more of your threesome content, well, curiosity got the better of me.”

“Our baby has such naughty fantasies,” Suguru said, not giving you a chance to respond “But she kept it all to herself like a bad little girl. Why didn’t you tell us?” he leaned down to nibble at your ear, loving the cute yelp you let out, “Did you think we’d judge you?”

“I- I don’t know…” you mumbled, face so red it felt like steam was coming out your ears, “It’s…embarrassing- ah!” Suguru moved downwards and kissed your neck, his teeth digging into the sensitive patch of your skin, making you cry out loud. Satoru pouted before he let go of your ass, only to swing his hand down and give your butt a sharp slap, making you yell loudly.

“We could have been fucking you like the dirty slut you are, but instead, we held ourselves back because we didn’t want to scare you off.” Satoru growled, his hand making its way to your hair, grabbing a handful before he pulled harshly. You gasped as your head was tossed back, your boyfriends face looking down on you as his grip on your hair continued to be tight and unforgiving.

“Every time we fuck you- we’ve wanted to go wild.” Suguru confessed, his large hand slipping into your shirt, making you shiver as he touched your bare skin, “So next time, just be honest and save us the trouble, hmm?”

“You’re going to make it up to us.” Satoru said, leaning down to kiss your lips, a quick peck before he pulled away, a dark look in his eyes, “Get ready. We’re making those fantasies come true.”

~~~~~

Your hands trembled, instinctively tugging at the handcuffs that held you tight against the headboard. The cool metal dug into your skin, showing no signs of letting up. Hands handcuffed above your bed, naked as the day you were born, you were at the mercy of your two men and they made sure of that.

Suguru giggled at your cute little yelp as he increased the speed of the vibrator, his grip of the wand tightening before he pressed it down harder on your clit. You screamed around Satoru’s cock, the man’s dick shoved down your throat, making you gag. He was practically straddling your head, knees on either side of your shoulders while Suguru sat between your spread legs, their eyes greedily taking in your nakedness.

“Yeah? You like that?” Satoru asked, looking down at you with a teasing grin on his face, sweat dripping down his brow. He was naked, veins throbbing in his arms as he gripped onto the headboard tightly, rolling his hips into your face, groaning at the sensation of you trying your best to take his fat dick. “You like that vibrator on your slutty little pussy, don’t you? Hmm? Like having my cock down your throat?” he asked, pausing his thrusting for a second to fully press his cock deep inside you, laughing as he felt you gag loudly around him.

“Oh, she loves it~” Suguru purred, dick aching in his boxers (wearing nothing but his underwear) as he ground the wand vibrator against you, mercilessly attacking your clit, “Her cunt is dripping~”

“Poor baby~ You must be so pent up since we’ve been making love to you like you were a princess. Guess we have to fuck you like a whore, hmm?” Satoru asked, biting his lower lip as he started thrusting into your mouth again. His muscles tensed, tossing his head back to moan as your sweet little tongue lapped at the underside of his cock, his heavy balls pressing against your chin every time he thrust.

“Stay. Still.” Suguru said with a click of his tongue as one arm gripped onto your knee tightly, the other still torturing you with the vibrator, “Keep moving your legs like that and I’ll punish you.”

You whined, your sounds taken by Satoru’s member, your body getting overstimulated. With a fat cock down your throat and Suguru playing with your pussy, you couldn’t help but start trembling, trying to push your legs together to give yourself a break from the onslaught on your cunt- but Suguru was having none of that.

He ignored your yelp as he pulled the vibrator away, taking away your pleasure so suddenly. But you barely had time to process that as he raised his hand and brought it down on your pussy, giving it a harsh, tight slap. You screamed from the pain, the vibrations of your mouth making Satoru moan as Suguru started spanking your pussy again and again. Slap after slap rained down on your cunt, the raven-haired man holding one leg tightly by the ankle while pushing away the other with his knee, truly keeping you spread as he spanked your pussy.

Your whole body writhed from the pain, the stinging sensation of Suguru marking your puffy pussy lips red. Your hands struggled against the handcuffs even more, your torso tossing and turning, Satoru giving you some mercy as he gently pulled his cock out of your mouth.

“Sorry! Fuck- I’m sorry- I’m sorry!” you pleaded through your gasps and coughs, and crying as Suguru slapped your cunt so hard it made you dizzy for a second, “Please- no more!”.

“No more what?”

“No more spankings- P-Please! Please don’t s-spank my p-pussy!” you begged, ears turning red from the embarrassment. You heard Satoru giggle above you, the man clearly more sadistic than you ever imagined as he tugged at his member, enjoying the scene of his best friend breaking you down perfectly. Even him touching himself right in front of you was torturous, your eyes homing in on the precum dripping out of his red tip, his cock covered in your saliva.

“I thought you liked it, baby.” Suguru said, taking some mercy on you as he gently rubbed your cunt, easing some of the burn, “Your characters get their pussy’s spanked so often. Don’t you feel bad for them if it hurts so much?”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know.” You sobbed, “It hurts- fuck- but it hurts so good!”

“Fuuuck Baby!” Satoru groaned, gripping the base of his cock tightly, his face red and excited, “Almost came from that~ I love seeing you look so pathetic for us.”

You whimpered, turning your face to feel Satoru’s warmth as he gently wiped a tear away from your eye. Suguru chuckled, leaning down to place a kiss to your cunt, your skin hot against his lips. Your back arched as he ran his tongue up your pussy, the man groaning as he tasted your slick, drinking you down like a drug.

“Oh~ I want a taste of that pussy too~” Satoru purred before he changed his position. Your eyes widened as he turned around, adjusting himself so his cock was once again over your face only now, he was facing your pussy in a classic 69. “Open up, princess.” He said, smirking as he pushed his cock into your mouth just as you opened your lips, “Suck my cock while we- oh yeah- play with this pussy~”

Satoru grabbed the back of your thighs, holding onto you tightly as he dipped his head between your legs, Suguru moving out of the way so his friend could mouth at your pussy. You squealed around his cock, the man already starting to thrust as he wrapped his lips around your clit before he sucked harshly. “Mmmph- fuck yes~” he moaned, lightly picking up the pace as he once again started fucking your throat, “This pussy is so fucking tasty~”

He opened his mouth wide and started flicking his tongue on your clit, letting out a lewd sound as he tortured your sensitive bud with his tongue. Not one to sit idly by, Suguru allowed his friend to tongue your cunt while he gently slid a finger inside you.

“Look at that. My finger went in so easily, baby.” Suguru said as he gently thrust the finger in and out of you, “This isn’t enough for you, is it?”

You whined around Satoru’s cock, unable to respond. But they understood. Suguru slid a second finger inside you, the slick sound of your cunt parting for him echoing through the air lewdly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he curled his fingers inside you just right, pussy gushing from the sensation. Satoru was still licking at your clit, giving your bud the occasional nibble to keep you on edge.

“Oh, you like that, don’t you?” Suguru asked as he watched Satoru lick you up, his own fingers drenched, your juices dripping down, “Cock in your mouth as we play with your pussy like you’re our little toy~ Our sweet little fuck toy we can use?”

Your toes curled and your muscles tensed, opening your throat up as much as possible as Satoru mercilessly face fucked you, his balls slapping against you as he chased his pleasure. The metal of the handcuffs dug into your skin, your fingers clenching around nothing as you were driven closer and closer to your orgasm.

You were so close you could taste it, your mind descending into nothing but pleasure, the two men perfectly breaking you down into the slut they know you are. You fantasised about them as you wrote your fanfiction and for it to actually be coming true- you didn’t know how to handle it.

You were so close- so close! Your body tightened and your pussy clenched around Suguru’s fingers, the familiar sensation of an orgasm making itself known. You already knew this would be one of the strongest climaxes you’d experience and it almost scared you. But you were ready. You wanted this. You needed this. You needed them!

Your moans picked up the pace, getting louder and louder around Satoru’s cock, still obediently sucking him off as your body trembled. You were gonna cum! Cumming- cumming-

Only for them to stop.

You let out a scream as Satoru pulled his cock out of your mouth, both of them able to hear your shouts. You arched off the bed, your body trembling from the sudden absence of pleasure, your legs kicking at the mattress like a toddler as you writhed on the bed.

“Why? Why- I was so close- so close!” you sobbed, tugging at the handcuffs in a desperate attempt to touch yourself, only for it to be futile.

“Aww, poor princess.” Satoru cooed, kneeling over you still, his cock dripping your saliva back onto his face lewdly, “did you really think it would be that easy?”

“We’re going to edge you all night.” Suguru said, finally undoing his boxers before pushing it off, getting completely naked, “It’s your punishment for keeping your sluttiness a secret from us.”

You could barely muster up a protest as you were distracted by Suguru’s cock. His cock was just as beautiful as Satoru’s- long, thick and oh so delicious. He took your breath away everytime he got inside you, his skills rendering you a whining mess.

“If you try and cum without us knowing,” Suguru said, knowing your body like the back of your hand and well aware that you were close to your orgasm, “You’re going to be in a world of pain. Now come on. Beg for it.” He started teasingly slapping your pussy with his member, each strike making you twitch, “You know how to beg, right? Your characters beg so sweetly in your stories- I’m sure you can do it too~”

You gulped, mouth drooling and pussy trembling, their hard cocks right in front of you but refusing to get inside you. “P-Please.” You pleaded, feeling a rush of shame overcome you by uttering the word. “Do better than that.” Suguru said, his hand now on his member and lightly stroking it, showing you what you were missing out on. “I- Fuck- I need you! Both of you!” you said desperately. “Keep going~” Satoru purred, his tip just a hairs breath away from your lips, also close to orgasm, “what do you need?” “I need- fuck- I need your c-cocks!” you begged, tears in your eyes as you shamelessly conveyed your desires, “I need you inside me- I need you to fuck me!” “Good girl.” Suguru said, groaning as he finally- finally- started to push inside you, “And remember. No cumming.”

You tossed your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your head as Suguru started spreading you apart, inch after inch burying into your sopping cunt. It was a delicious sensation, his cock stretching you out wonderfully, his thick cock giving you a nice burn. Suguru hissed as his dick was enveloped in your tight wetness, the texture of your pussy walls hugging it perfectly. His balls clenched and he knew he wouldn’t last long- the feeling of finally being able to treat you like the kinky slut you were driving him to the edge. They don’t call him a pleasure dom for nothing.

Without even saying anything, Satoru took advantage of your open mouth to jam his dick back inside your mouth, laughing at the surprised yelp and loud gag you let out. “I’m close baby~” he moaned as he was surrounded by your addicting heat again, “Make sure you drink it all when I cum down this slutty mouth pussy~”

They both started to fuck you mercilessly at once. And all you could do was lie there and take it. Suguru made you wrap your legs against his waist, leaning into you as he started pounding your cunt, balls slapping against you each time he thrust into you. Your pussy was so wet and hot- the sensation like a drug as he pounded you, his cock slamming against your cervix with each thrust.

“Fuck- I love this fucking pussy!” he groaned, tossing his head back as he mercilessly pounded you, chasing his pleasure, “So perfect for us- so greedy and desperate- want to fucking ruin you!”

“Mmm~ I can’t wait to fuck this slutty cunt~” Satoru said between moans, fucking down on your mouth as a hand came up to spread apart your pussy lips, giving him a perfect view of Suguru fucking your hole. “Pass me the vibrator, will you?”

You yelped, knowing exactly what he had planned as Satoru got a hold of the vibrator, switched it on before he placed it against your clit. You screamed around his cock, body thrashing at the overstimulation. The toy rubbed against your clit, the speed on the highest setting, making your vision blurry as he assaulted your sensitive bud.

“Fuck- oh yeah- that’s fucking great!” Suguru moaned, the vibration of the toy giving him added pleasure as well, “she tightened around me so much- fuck- slutty little pussy!”

You were in heaven and hell. The two men were using you in such a filthy fashion, making your body tremble from the intense pleasure. Suguru was fucking you so perfectly, his cock hitting your g-spot every time he thrust into you, your pleasure heightened by Satoru playing with your clit. He’d use the toy or sometimes even lean down to lick at your clit again, his hair brushing against Suguru’s abdomen every time he thrust forward. They were both so desperate and horny for you and it was amazing.

But, every time you were close, they’d stop.

You didn’t even need to say it- your moans and your body language was enough for them to know when you were about to cum and every time, without fail, they’d ruin your orgasm. Suguru would pull out and Satoru would stop playing with your clit, opting to slap your pussy and call it a ‘bad cunt’ as he took your climax away from you. Suguru once pinched your clit so harshly you swore you blacked out. Once they thought you weren’t going to cum, they’d get back into it.

“Oh baby!” Satoru moaned, finally reaching his climax. He forgoed the toy and instead focused on fucking your face, wanting to cum, “I’m close! Yes! Yes! Oh you naughty little minx! We’re going to have so much fucking fun with you!”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you got pounded from both ends- your jaw beyond sore. With a few more thrusts, Satoru finally came. He tossed his head back and moaned loudly, his cock lodged as deep as it could go inside you. He started to cum down your throat, giving you no choice but to drink it all up. You could feel his balls clench against you as he came, his hot seed pouring down your throat, warming you up from the inside.

“Ohhh yesss!” Satoru moaned, his body shuddering as he gently thrust his hips, milking his balls of every drop, “That’s it- oh yes~ That’s a good slut~”

You gagged around him, struggling to breathe and to drink down his cum, happy to have given him pleasure but distracted by Suguru still pounding into you. You were waiting for Satoru to get off of you and give your jaw some peace but…

He once again got his face close to your pussy, resting his elbows on the mattress and his chin on his hands as he stared like a pervert as Suguru fucking your cunt.

“Enjoying the show?” Suguru asked with a laugh, his body running a bit hotter at Satoru staring.

“Mmhmm,” Satoru said with a smile before he addressed you, “Keep cockwarming me, baby. Get me hard again so I can fuck this pussy next~”

Oh. Oh God.

“Fuck- I’m close!” Suguru groaned through gritted teeth, “And she’s close too- I can feel it!”

“Yeah?” Satoru asked, rolling his hips in a circle as he leisurely enjoyed your mouth like it was a fleshlight, “Should we let her cum? She’s been such a good girl for us.”

You whined around him, feeling like this entire night was you whining, trying your best to beg around Satoru’s cock in your mouth. You could feel him grow harder inside you, the sadist loving the fact that he made you so pathetic.

“Nah.” Suguru said, sweating as he pounded you mercilessly, “Not yet.”

“You hear that, baby?” Satoru asked, “You better not cum~”

You sobbed, tears pouring down your cheeks as they decided to continue torturing you.

“You gonna cum inside her?” Satoru asked his friend, knowing him well enough to know he was about to cum. “Fuck- I want to so fucking badly but- I don’t think she deserves it yet!” “Awww, the poor thing. She has such a huge breeding kink too!” “I know. Fuck- I’d love to dump inside this cunt and breed her but- fuck- I still think she needs to learn her lesson! Naughty little sluts who keep things from their boyfriends gets fucking punished! Oh fuck- yes- cumming- I’m cumming!”

With a shout, once again denying you your orgasm, Suguru quickly pulled out of you with the intention of finishing on you. “Fuck- Satoru!” Suguru moaned as the white haired man suddenly grabbed his member and started jerking him off. Satoru laughed at Suguru’s moans, his hand almost a blur as he jacked off his best friend, aiming the tip right at your pussy. In a matter of seconds, Suguru let out a loud moan as he came, tossing his head back as the pleasure hit him like a truck. He trembled as ropes and ropes of cum shot out of his cock, his balls clenching with each pump as he came all over your pussy. He stained your cunt white, making you whine as all of that cum wasn’t pumped inside you.

“Oh~ Look at all that cum on this pretty pussy~” Satoru moaned, letting go of Suguru to instead pet at your pussy, his fingers rubbing the cum into your skin before he collected a bit of it on his fingers to shove inside you. You gasped, body still on edge, your mind a mess of pleasure and humiliation as Satoru stuffed his friends cum into your pussy. He took some mercy on you and pulled his cock out of your mouth, enjoying your gasps and moans as you took in deep breaths, choking on your own spit as he got off of you.

“Please!” you begged, crying and you voice hoarse, “Please- Please let me cum! I need it! I’ll do anything!”

“Shhhh, relax, princess.” Suguru cooed as he and Satoru switched places, the white haired man settling between your legs with his cock hard once more, eager to fuck your cunt. You whimpered and cried as Suguru lied down next to you, his dick still hard and ready for more as he leaned down to kiss you, a sweet moment among all the depravity.

His hand gripped a breast, squeezing your boob as he kissed you, slipping his tongue into your mouth and making your body tingle from the sensation. He finally parted just as Satoru slipped his dick inside you, smiling as he watched your eyes water and your jaw drop from the sensation.

“Don’t start crying already, baby.” Suguru said, watching as your body started to bounce up and down from Satoru’s thrusts, Satoru immediately fucking you in a fast pace, “We’ve only just begun~”

#subby writes #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo x reader x geto #gojo #gojo satoru smut #jujutsu gojo #gojo smut #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen geto smut #geto suguru smut #jujutsu geto #geto x reader #geto suguru #geto smut

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feralrabidcrow · 10 months ago

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Mercs with Access to Internet

Scout: He would be a content creator who just makes whatever he feels like without any consistency. His uploads would be like:

Rooftop Parkour

Pokemon Smash or Pass

I Made A Mistake. (Addressing the Pokemon Video Controversy)

Tom Jones Songs Tierlist

Minecraft Let's Play

Soldier: He makes political rant videos but no one can figure out what his actual political opinions or leanings are. He just kind of spews buzzwords and 'America' a lot while sounding very passionate. A bunch of people assume he's a parody account making fun of actual political rant channels but no it's just Soldier being Soldier.

Pyro: They make TikTok dance videos. In every single video something in the background is on fire. Occasionally you'll hear "Damnit, damnit damnit!" and see Engineer rush in with a fire extinguisher.

Demo: He makes one video tutorial on how to make a pipe bomb, gets all his accounts suspended, and ends up on a hundred different lists.

Engineer: He would be one of those YouTube engineers like 'Michael Reeves' or 'i did a thing' who makes horrible abominations of machinery and technology. His viewers never know whether to be impressed, horrified, or a healthy mix of both.

Heavy: He doesn't ever post anything anywhere but he likes to watch a lot of videos on guns. He also subscribes to cooking channels for new ideas.

Medic: Aggressively spreads misinformation online. Not just medical misinformation, anything. He isn't lazy about it either. He puts genuine effort into making his lies as convincing and believable as possible. He is actively trying to make people less educated. If you ask him about it he'll claim it's a social experiment but he's just doing this for his own amusement.

Sniper: All of his accounts are on private and have like 3 followers. He uses Facebook to keep in contact with his parents and that's pretty much it.

Spy: Doxxes people he disagrees with.

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xclowniex · 2 months ago

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I truly think that the majority of goyim simply do not know what it has been like for jews in the diaspora since Oct 7th.

When the news first broke, I did not know how far hamas had gotten into Israel, my family in Israel was on a trip somewhere in Israel too and I had no clue where they had gone for a holiday. Whilst I knew they did not live anywhere near the Gaza border, I had zero idea where they were when it was happening. I had zero clue if they were alive or dead. I was stuck in limbo watching all the reports.

Then on Monday, I had to go into work like nothing fucking happened, like I didn't just spend the weekend worrying if they were dead or alive.

When I came into work, my manager who had heard the news who knows I have family in Israel asked me what had happened. I was still processing the news myself. All I told her was that there was an attack on Israeli civilians and she said that she hoped my family was safe.

In the coming days I saw all the protests, all the protests BEFORE Israel had even retaliated. I saw the antisemitic protest in Australia where people were chanting "gas the jews" and thinking "oh my fucking God, Australian culture is similar to New Zealand culture, is a similar protest going to happen here?" I spend so long worried that something like that would happen where I lived. I planned what I would do if I got caught near one, picturing all the common places people protest and planning my escape routes. Thankfully nothing on that scale happened. I was lucky.

None of my friends at the time asked me if my family was safe, but they all posted about Palestine. Keep in mind that all bar one knew I have family in Israel as I've spoken about it multiple times.

I watched support keep coming and coming for palestine when Israel hadn't even retaliated yet, and no support for the Israeli lives lost. I pushed my feelings aside, giving people the benefit of the doubt, maybe just maybe they didn't know the extent of Oct 7th that was released at that time.

After Israel retaliated, I ended up unfollowing so many content creators online because they refused to talk Oct 7th and only talked about Palestine. Were my family just chopped fucking liver to them???? Did my anxiety that I felt about their safety just not matter? Did all Israelis dying not matter to them?

I went to my first Halloween party. It was fun and I enjoyed myself for the most part, but on the way there I kept worrying that someone was going to say something antisemitic, that someone was going to bring up the war and dehumanize Israelis, dehumanize my family. I spent the whole evening on edge, worrying that it would happen. As a result, to calm my nerves I ended up getting super fucked up. It did not work and I overdid the alcohol and weed and I just felt terrible. The next day I felt immense guilt. How could I party? How could I dance when those at Nova were killed when they were dancing?

Then the antisemitism started online. I watched antisemitic tropes just start flying around social media. It's what made me start posting about the war and antisemitism online. My blog turned from clown posts, my special interest, to a space where I could get my feelings off my chest.

Then the antisemitism started in real life. Whenever I wore my magen david, I would get called slurs. I had to start avoiding certain parts of town because of it.

I also felt highly isolated at work. I didn't know who I could speak to about what I was going through. My office is made up of mainly leftists. No one really spoke about the war at work, which in a way made it worse. I didn't know who was normal about jews and Israelis and who weren't.

The harassment got so bad that my partner at the time was begging me to stop wearing or at least hide my magen david as he was afraid that I would be physically attacked.

There were times which I hid it, and I still experienced antisemitism because I have a very jewish nose.

I experienced this for MONTHS.

At one point in time, I tried venting to my friends at the time about the antisemitism I was facing. One of them said that they hadn't seen any antisemitism so they didn't know what I was talking about. I called what they said weird, and they started on this whole tirade that I'm only calling them antisemitic because they're arab. I think this was in November. I looked at their blog and found posts denying oct 7th, saying it didn't happen. I took screenshots in case i needed them in the future. Oh the foreshadowing.

About two months ago, a new person was invited to the friend group discord server. This new person made some pro hamas comments and said they were a resistance group. I explained with proof that Hamas has said that they wanted to kill jews. This was the start of a downfall of my friendship with my ex friends.

2 weeks after that, one of my ex friend vents about the war, and in their vent they dehumanized Israelis. I decided to check all my friends social media posts. I found post after post after post with blood libel, oct 7th denial, antisemitic tropes, dehumanization of Israelis and jews, and posts in support of groups which want jews dead, such as the houthi which have "curse to jews" in their slogan. That new person added to the discord server literally sent a few messages explicitly saying that they support the houthi.

I take a few days to process things and decide enough is enough, and that I need to unfriend them all. I email my local synagogue and get accepted to join after being screened by them to verify that I was in fact jewish and not some antisemite wanting to harm the congregation. I end my friendship with my ex friends with an essay of a message stating what they said, why it was antisemitic and that I do not feel comfortable or safe being friends with them anymore.

Two of them reached out to me to try to fix things. One hasn't really done much, she only didn't ask if my family was safe after Oct 7th + never called out any antisemitism the friend group did. However our friendship could not be repaired as her boyfriend was one of the worse perpetrators of antisemitism.

The other one who reached out supported groups who had tied to Hamas. I asked them to no longer support SJP, and they refused with the excuse of "I already avoid so many activist groups because of white supremacy, it's too hard to avoid SJP. I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to scream at them "why the actual fuck are you attracted to so many groups who engage in white supremacy that you need to actively avoid them? How hard is it to avoid one more! Write a fucking list if you need help remembering!" But I didn't say any of that, I just told them that if that's their choice then we can no longer be friends anymore and I blocked them.

Going to synagogue was amazing. I felt so welcomed and have made some new friends. Reconnecting with my jewishness after not going to synagogue for years was good. It was exactly what I needed. However, it was the cause of the end of my relationship with my ex.

He had his parents force his culture on him since he was a child and hated every second of it. When he immigrated here, he assimilated and wanted nothing to do with the culture from the country he was born in. Whilst he was fine with me participating in jewish culture, he didn't want it brought into the relationship at all. He was fine eating jewish food if i cooked it, but he didn't want to learn about jewish culture or do anything regarding it. I wasn't expecting him to convert, all I wanted was for him to learn the basics about jewish culture, maybe surprise me with some recipies from my childhood like I've done with sri lankan recipies from his childhood when he told me that he's craving them, attend jewish markets when they happen. I did not at all expect him to convert or to become immersed in jewish culture, I just wanted him to make an effort to support my jewishness.

We were looking at marriage and children in the next few years and were discussing how to raise them. I wanted them to learn about their jewish culture as children and it would be up to them if they participated in it or not as they got older. He didn't want that at all. He viewed it as them being "indoctrinated" into judaism. I told him that I feel like he just wants to date some white girl who has a default culture of our country and that I could never be that, I would never throw away my jewishness to be that. And he agreed that he did want someone who just had the default culture of our country. So we broke up. To be fair, I had been thinking about breaking up for months due to other issues, but that was the one which made me go "this relationship cannot be fixed, it has to end or I will be unhappy forever".

On its own, it doesn't seem too bad, but after going through so much antisemitism, the one person who is support to support me, who is suppose to love me, couldn't do that as long as I was actively jewish and participating in jewish culture.

And that's not even a complete list of everything I have gone through since Oct 7th. And I can't make this post without mentioning the amazing jews in my phone, who have been there for me since the start. You have made this hellscape bearable.

Like I said, goyim don't know what it has been like for jews since Oct 7th

#vent #antisemitism #jumblr #israel #i/p #jewblr

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