#just congratulate a fellow human being on living their best life

[uwudonoodle]

How to shut down transphobes.

This meme is inescapable on French insta so I'm posting it here for all to enjoy

[morethanthatfic]

Hello. First of all, I wanted to congratulate you on your blog. I found it by chance and I really enjoy the content you post.

Second, I finished watching The Office for the first time last week. It's a great series, by the way. But one thing that caught my attention is how much Jim and Pam are hated. I finished the series loving every interaction, romantic scene and even the conflicts. It's not a very complex romance to understand, but I notice, especially on the 'Dunder Mifflin' sub-reddit, how much people distort certain moments of the couple.

I also see that, I don't know if it's a recent trend, but a lot of people prefer Karen as Jim's romantic partner. I just don't get it. It's so obvious at times that she's just the catalyst that Jim and Pam needed to finally get together and how Jim and Karen have personality conflicts that would occasionally end in a breakup.

Other things that bothered me are how people demonize Pam and soften Roy's attitudes.

Another thing that bothers me is how people say that Pam sabotaged Jim and Karen's relationship, when in reality their relationship was doomed from the moment it began (the night of The Merger episode) with the character ignoring countless red flags.

I can name countless moments that people use to demonize Pam and I can just relate and realize that if I were in her shoes, I probably would have done the same things (except maybe get back together with Roy).

Why do you think this movement is so strong against the character and the couple? Mainly because the show is about characters with questionable personalities with morally questionable attitudes. Why do you think the bar is set higher for both of them?

Sorry for the long text. I was just so surprised to see that Pam is so hated. She has simply become my favorite character. With such human and relatable dilemmas.

If there are any grammatical errors, I apologize! I used the translator to help me.

Well first off I��m happy you found us at MTT. In addition to this blog, MoreThanThat is the largest and best collection of Office and JimPam fanfic on the internet so if you want to continue to the JAM love there’s many many great fics to read. And congrats on your first watchthrough of the show!

Next, I understand how you ended up at Reddit looking for fellow flans, and it’s good for memes, trivia and some general discussion. But when Jim and/or Pam is the topic, things can get toxically bad fast, especially regarding Pam. A good amount of that is Reddit being Reddit. Redditors love trying to be different and edgy, which is hard with a show that’s as popular and has been around as long as The Office. As a result you’ll see lots of contrary opinions that are often thinly veiled hate-posts. A post titled: “Jim’s a cool character,” will get some likes, maybe a reply or two. However, a post called “Jim is a bully and the actual villain of the office” will get 2k likes and 400 replies passionately debating if that’s right or wrong. Redditors are also not known for being the biggest fans of women in general, and a normal woman just trying to live her normal life like Pam will get unfathomable amounts of vitriol (do yourself a favor and never go to the Office Ladies subreddit).

Sadly, Jim & Pam hate is not contained to Reddit. I’ve run the MTT Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts and have seen plenty of it there, even Tumblr isn’t JAM-hate-free. So what’s the deal? It’s again some of that trying to get likes for different, contrary opinions. It’s also the fact that Jim and Pam are written very realistically with realistic flaws that are usually not played up for laughs, flaws that often strike a cord in viewers. Many if not most people will sympathetically relate to Jim and Pam’s flaws, they themselves might do things differently but they understand where the characters are coming from. But a very loud minority are contemptuous of Jim and Pam and need everyone else to know about it. They’ll write off Creed canonically killing at least one person as just Creed being Creed, but somehow are ready with a ten-point essay explaining why Pam having low confidence and being mopey when Jim was with Karen makes her the actual devil. 

The “Jim was better off with Karen” crowd has always been around, but are maybe more vocal now than they were when the show was airing. I felt the show made it pretty clear, especially in the season 3 finale “The Job”, that Jim and Karen weren’t that compatible and would not have lasted even without the Pam factor. But the “Jim should have ended up with Karen” argument persists on Reddit. There she seems to have come to represent Jim escaping his small hometown for something bigger and better while Pam represents Jim being stuck and stagnant. Nevermind that Karen ended up settling into a life not all that different from Pam’s life in a town not all that different from Scranton. Also nevermind that Pam eventually agrees to go with Jim onto “bigger and better things”, she just needed some time (and the characters needed the show to end to be free to move on). 

We also just never really get to know Karen that well, she never has a storyline outside of Jim, she’s just kind of a vaguely defined “cool girl”, and people can easily project their preferred traits onto (in deleted scenes and in the Superfan episodes she’s much sassier and occasionally kind of mean but overall has much more of a personality so it’s interesting how a lot of that got cut).

During the three seasons Roy’s regularly on the show, he’s pretty consistently portrayed as unsupportive of Pam’s interests and dreams and largely unenthusiastic about marrying her. So the wider fandom (or at least the Reddit part) slowing kind of “woobifying” Roy and treating Pam like the bad guy in that relationship is maddening, and I‘ll never forgive the writers for seeming to give some credence to that in season 9 with the preposterous Roy’s Wedding storyline (his send-off in S3 was already the perfect closure for both him and Pam, and his S5 cameo was fine and appropriate). 

I suppose what I'm trying to say is since the show's long ended and so much has been said about it, the larger fandom is kind of down to overanalyzing and 'what-if'ing everything. A big problem with fandom in general is how toxic fandom can get and how much hate seems to develop for the source material and for certain characters and pairings (and fans of those characters and pairings). And the Office fandom is pretty tame! But it's still far from immune. To find fun and positivity in any fandom you need to find your like-minded group of fans and (to paraphrase a famous tumblr post) block approximately two-thirds of the rest. 

[peonylover2]

… just a thought.

When announcing a pregnancy in “real life” you, out of following the internet-real life etiquette, would post an instagram and/or Facebook ( depending on age/socially which app is being used as standard for life updates) a picture and caption announcing/thanking others (people in real life/on the internet if you are not the one who announced it by example ) for the good wishes. This is done as to give people the opportunity to say their good wishes. Because they may not live near or can keep in contact constantly ❤️ but would love to participate in keeping the good contact or wishing the best for a fellow human.

Now to the what do you say;

The right move is to ONLY mention the good things.

“ thank you all for the good wishes we are delighted and excited for our first baby”

Not

“ thank you THE ONES WHO WISHED US THE BEST AND TO THESE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT..” let me stop you there. Don’t mention the bad things.. even if it was the popular opinion from the public out of two.

But what you really would not do ( normal people , not actors if they use their social media for work only) post two/three videos that have nothing to do with the announcement.

Personal opinion:

If you really value your wife, friends and family, general public and your own so supposed “ gentleman behavior/ family man/ kind guy” act, it will be within range of your personality, to be expected, that the first thing you post after an announcement, IS AN OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT.

Ps: if you do not have common sense to understand that this is FOR EVERYONE and it about THE CURTSY of giving people who can’t text you or call or visit the chance to congratulate you, then by all means… fuck off my page you tone deaf ( you can’t read the room to understand the unspoken rules and customs) bitch. I’m not hear to educate you, if you can’t understand that humans have rules and habits for reasons like respect or love or socializing that may not show up directly than just spare me the time and piss off, otherwise i will jinx you for a month with a clarity spell.

Foretold is forewarned

[heidisbooknook]

Powerless - Lauren Roberts Review

  ┏━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━┓

➺ Well, congratulations to Lauren Roberts for making me forget I have a job and responsibilities. Who needs those, anyway??

You guys already know…it’s time for another book review.

(p.s I'm still trying to figure out if I finished this book or if this book FINISHED ME. I fear I’ll never recover.)

Powerless - Lauren Roberts

I'll admit it—I'm a total sucker for a charismatic guy with a sharp tongue and sass. Kai Azer is unlike any character I've encountered, and I fear no one will ever hold a candle to this man from here on out. This book put me through a rollercoaster of every emotion possible and I was crying, screaming, throwing up, running laps…I was practically doing somersaults off the walls!

And with that note..Let’s begin:

“Mark my words, prince, I will be your undoing.” I lean in, ignoring the knife against my throat as murmur, “Oh, darling, I look forward to it.”

❥ Overall Story: This book unfolds the journey of (FMC) Paedyn Gray, a resilient and strong-willed protagonist, alongside (MMC) Kai Azer, Prince and future Enforcer of the kingdom. (also a shameless flirt but more on that later) Paedyn's life took a tragic turn when she witnessed her father's murder as a child, after which she fled from her home and adapted to living life on the streets of Loote as a clever thief and adept pickpocket. And where she shortly after met her best friend Adena. 

Years ago, the kingdom was ravaged by the Great Plague. And most of those who survived were gifted elite abilities. The Elites. And those who weren't so lucky dubbed ‘The Ordinaries’ and were either slaughtered or exiled to The Scorches. Unfortunately our protagonist Paedyn lacks these special elite abilities and in lue of trying to blend in, adopts the guise of having a Mundane power: psychic abilities.

However, when Paedyn saves the Prince's life, she is abruptly thrown into ‘The Purging Trials’—a series of trials where elites battle each other, with only one emerging victorious.

Unfortunately for Paedyn, who is lacking in an elite ability unlike her fellow contestants…She must play her cards just right in this brutal game of survival.

Quote here 

❥ Character Analysis: 

➺ Paedyn: I'm so thrilled with Paedyn's character. Lately, it feels like every female main character in fantasy novels is constantly playing the “oh poor me” card throughout the entire book and it seriously drives me crazy! Paedyn on the other hand, was so strong and badass, she knew what she wanted and she wouldn't stop until she got it. She stood on business and she didn't need help from anyone else to get where she needed to go, and I love that for her. Girlboss asf. (except for those few times she needed Kai’s help but shh that's not important right now)

I absolutely love her character development and she's probably my top female protagonist to-date. Also she's literally so funny, and her banter with Kai is immaculate. 

“Everything beautiful, everything bold, everything breathtaking, that is what I feel in her gaze.

That, and terrified. Terrified of what she is doing to me. She is a vision, a nightmare, a dream.

A grim reaper clad in black, come to steal my soul and my heart.

I've never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for me.

She is a devil. She is a deity.

She is a man's downfall in human form. She is my downfall.” -Kai Azer

➺ Kai: KAI AZER THE MAN THAT YOU AREEEEE. Yea so, I  was head over heels from his very first appearance in the book, let me be real. Paedyn Gray? You are so much stronger than me because I’d be giggling and kicking my feet before he even had the chance to say anything to me. Kai took me completely by surprise. He wasn't your typical brooding, mysterious, bad boy love interest. He was definitely mysterious and his backstory is so tragic. But that didn't stop him from being the funniest guy I've ever encountered in a book. He is so flirty and doesn't hold back. He's unabashedly interested in Paedyn and isn't shy about showing it. It's a very welcome change from most of the male leads in romantic fantasy these days.

“But I’m never sober around you, Pae. Never not drunk on every detail that is you.” -Kai Azer

❥ Romance: Oh. My. God. THE TENSIONNNNN. Lauren Roberts knows how to write tension scenes soo well. The banter in this book was impeccable, they just clicked so well together and every scene had me giggling and kicking my feet. Let’s just say my romance/tension annotation tabs take up a good 90% of the annotating I did. (Not that I’m complaining.)

The scene where they are dancing during the first trial?? Are you joking?? I’m absolutely obsessed. There are so many scenes I want to dive into, but I’ll restrain myself to avoid spoilers (though it's incredibly tempting).

If romantasy, banter, and extremely high tension is your thing. Read. This. Book. I'm not kidding! #Kaidyn

What are everyone's theories for this series? I would love to hear everyone's thoughts. Share them below!

“You’re a shameless flirt, Azer”��Only for you.”

Next up…Reckless 

❥ More Quotes:

“What do you want to call me?”

“I want to call you mine.”

“Remind me to make you smile like that again, when you aren’t dying, and I have all the time in the world to memorize it.” -Kai Azer

“She's confusing, captivating, and we're completely wrong for each other in all the right ways. She's a flame, and I'm going to get burned. An ocean and I'm going to drown” -Kai Azer

"My pretty Pae, what have you done to me?" -Kai Azer

“If I am to be her enemy, I want it to be because she loathes herself for wanting me.” -Kai Azer

“What the hell is wrong with you?”“Darling, that is a very loaded question”

“Are you undressing me, Gray?” 

“I mean, I can’t say I didn't think this day would come.” He adds with an amused whisper,

“Couldn't resist me, darling?” -Kai Azer

❥ Playlist:  Credit to RandomHouseBooks

➺ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0fczWree8BQ6EYGz0psvah?si=ee20255230bf4e45

❥ Moodboard/Fanart:

[thunderheadfred]

🤚Shigaraki HC's🤚

Part 1 of my Shigaraki Thesis HCs. The Second Worst: 1 - 2

This was rough because even though Shigaraki is one of my favorite characters of all time, I have nothing sexy to say about him canonically.

that's a lie, i'm lying. i had to break this post into parts, that's how much of a liar liar pants on fire i am

Warnings for quite possibly everything. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

Okay first of all:

You know it. I know it. We all know it. This man is not boyfriend material. He disintegrates boyfriend material for fun.

You don’t want to date this man.

Frankly, you can’t date this man.

Seriously. Run.

If you’re a villain, you’re his underling. Maybe, if you squint, you’re kind of like his... um... least-hated workplace associate. What do you want, a trophy?

If you’re a hero, good luck not dying horribly. Maybe you’d make a cute hostage. Hope you can escape cuz he is NOT letting you out alive.

If you’re a civilian, perhaps that’s the best case scenario. He stalks you a little before he becomes infamous. You go on the worst date of your life but luckily you don't tell him where you live. Later you see him on the news standing in a pile of rubble and you just think, “ohhhhhhh.”

If he somehow, impossibly, against all odds, manages to develop a single affectionate feeling toward you, AFO is going to hunt you down for sport. You are NOT getting in the way of world domination. Again, good luck with that.

If somehow you managed to clear all those hurdles and kiss Shigaraki Tomura square on the lips, I can see one of two things happening.

1) You’re his body pillow now. Goodbye sunlight. You live in his room. He doesn’t have to chain you to the bed, because you know escape is pointless. Congratulations, the end is nigh.

2) Total mind break. At the first sign of genuine human affection, his trauma vault is instantly unlocked. Memories come rushing in, his quirk goes nuts. There’s like a 99.9% chance he’ll accidentally kill you and it will destroy his soul forever. But let’s say you’re the lucky 0.01% - then it’s time to fuck off together to a foreign country. He’s terrified, traumatized, and possibly broken beyond repair, but I guess he’s not a villain anymore? Have fun nursing him back to... semi-sanity.

Moral of the story: you’re better off getting hit with a quirk that takes you to an alternate universe where the worst thing Shimura Tenko ever did was throw a Playstation controller at his sister’s head. He’s an aspiring video game journalist with zero charisma and severe self-image issues. He has no earthly idea how hot he is. Please, for the love of God, fall for that guy instead.

haha just kidding

join me in hell, fellow Shigaraki fuckers:

- - - - -

Scenario the first:

so apparently you enjoy living in a cage?

Listen. He does not smell right. He doesn’t need to bathe much because his skin is constantly annihilating itself. So he’s not exactly dirty, but every instinct in your body is screaming in confusion, unsure if he’s alive or dead.

Breath of the damned. Sweet as moldy lemons. Whatever he eats just... rots. He doesn't produce enough spit.

He will kiss you very deeply. Until you choke. Forget the cold, chapped lips because they're the least of your problems. He's got those skeleton hands caging your face and you're trapped against a wall and his gigantic biting teeth are prying you open. He licks inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your soul. He'll probably succeed.

His hair is exactly as soft as it looks. Too bad you'll never get to touch it.

He’s either got no sexual impulses at all and will laugh at you for trying, or he’s a full-on incel. I don’t know which one. I don’t want to find out. Apparently you do, and I salute your resolve.

You will be lucky if Shigaraki treats you like a pet. He loves his Nintendo DS more than you.

Consent is not applicable. You showed interest in him once, now you're his plaything forever. There's a power imbalance between you so wide you could chuck a planet in there.

Safewords? lol

Doesn't want to break you, because what would be the point? He's already broken enough things. He wants to keep you around for a good long while. He'll take good, good care of you.

Unless you disobey.

Obsessed with making you cum whether you want to or not. Yes, this IS a high score thing. It's just so flattering. Say hello, orgasm torture. Was that another one? Aww. You barely moved. Oh, what's that? You're begging him to stop? Haha. He won't.

Don't cry. He'll drink your tears.

He'll touch you everywhere with bare fingers. Slow, feather-light strokes, like some kind of demented ASMR artist. This is not a trust exercise. He knows exactly how much it terrifies you.

Oh yeah. You're getting finger FUCKED. Do you fantasize about having a loaded gun shoved inside you? Same difference.

Will eat you out like nothing else, but not in bed. That's the kind of shit he does on a boardroom table where anybody could walk in and see you writhing. Spreads you WIDE open and sucks on you. Makes out with your asshole. The whole nine yards. It's wet and loud and nasty.

Only time you're out of his sight (and not locked in your room) is when he shoves a remote control vibrator where the sun doesn't shine. Operates it through an app while he calls you and jerks off. Wants to make your knees fail on a crowded train.

Come here. You get to sit on his lap like a dog. Four fingers on your throat, dick hard under your ass. He'll dry hump you in front of God, the Devil, and everyone else.

If he's playing video games, you're cock-warming. He does not care which hole. He won't even look at you.

He might get hard but he does not get naked. You do not know Shigaraki Tomura on a personal level. You have only the vaguest idea what his dick looks like. It feels long and thin, almost sharp. Maybe he's actually been fucking you with an ice pick this whole time. His hip bones dig into you and bruise. He likes to kiss and bite the marks he leaves.

He mocks you for being so fucking pathetic. Have you always been a such a needy slut or is he really that special? What is wrong with you? Even he thinks you're crazy.

Shigaraki won't kill you, but All For One will.

- - - - -

The Second Worst Scenario:

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck.

(this half of the post went completely off the rails and turned into like... a whole-ass Victorian Novel)

[poison-rat]

For the ask thing: intrulogical! P.s. I love your work

Thank you!! I havent written a proper fic in like a year but Im just itching to write lately.

I love Intrulogical so much but my wife doesmt ship them so I never get to talk about it.

Logan and Remus are both chaos but in different ways. This will also borrow from my human AU. I have set ships in it, it is its own thing I may try to write for, but I like using the characterisation Ive made.

Who is the most affectionate?

Remus loves PDA. Hes always holding onto/draped over/sitting on Logan in one way or another. Always dropping sloppy kisses on his face or yelling that he loves him, despite Logan sitting right next to him.

He feels shy in front of other people, but in private, Logan is just as much all over Remus. Hes not nearly as vocal about it, but he also enjoys leaning against him or kissing his cheek or lays with his head in Remus' lap. Its a silent affection and Remus loves it all the same.

Who initiates the handholding?

Remus typically. Loves PDA, again. But Logan will sometimes reach over and just... hold.

Who worries more for the other?

Logan doesnt try to show it, but hes always worried about Remus. He always worried Remus is going to embrace the wrong intrusive thought and hurt himself somehow.

Who is more likely to ask for help?

Logan for sure. He understands that he doesnt know everything and is more than happy to stop and ask for directions when theyve passed the same gas station and souvenir shop 3 times. Remus says would rather die than ask for help, but even he can admit when he needs it, and will typically only ask Logan for help, or maybe Janus.

Who is the one always losing the keys?

Remus loses everything. If he doesnt have it attached to him, its gone. Hes gone through six pairs of sunglasses while on a vacation, has his phone on a stretchy lanyard when hes out and about (and a good phone insurance in case rhe lamyard falls off), and his keys are on a locking carabiner on his belt loop because the dealership wont give them another set. They really shouldnt have give him the extra 4 that that did.

Logan will lose small things like books or his glasses and occasionally his phone, but he always finds them. His keys stay hung up on a hook by the door and Remus isnt allowed to touch them.

Who leaves little love notes for the other?

Logan loves to leave post its everywhere. Not just love notes, but reminders for himself and Remus. The notes are all the sort of generic, "I love you!" and, "Remember to commit atrocities against your fellow man!" and Remus steals them all and keeps them in his pillowcase. Its extremely impractical because he has a tendency to pull the pillowcase off with his tossing and turning, but he manages to keep the notes in. Logan will sometimes find more vulgar notes left for him, but also some that say, "Hey nerd, youre cute," or similar, and he hides them in his books for safekeeping.

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there?

Both sleep fairly well on their own. Logan wakes more easily without him there. Remus is a sprawling bed hog, so he doesnt typically notice when Logan isnt there.

Who is more likely to propose to the other?

Logan has been planning it for a long time. He wants things to go according to his plan, but he forgets to factor in that Remus is erratic and unpredictable. He loves that about Remus but its frustrating to his logical brain. Eventually, when he does propose, its out of the blue, in the middle of a crowd, and he doesnt make a big deal of it. Its unpredictable just like his boyfriend. Remus screams in joy, effectively scaring the shit out of many nearby, and of course says yes.

Who introduced the other to their family first?

(Borrows from AU. Remus has an okay relationship with Roman and his mom, Remus being the younger twin, Logan has a tense relationship with his absent parents. All of the sides live in the same house near a college most of them attend.)

Remus met Logan when he and his brother were living together, so Roman knew about Logan the entire time. When Remus told him they were dating, Roman was thrilled for him and also teased him a lot. His mom also knew about Logan the whole time, and when she found out, the first thing she did was ask Roman when he was gonna get a boyfriend, that its improper to marry off the younger child first. She loves Logan and is so happy for her son.

Logan doesnt talk to his parents often. Theyre busy with their business, he knows that. In fact, he doesnt even tell them hes dating someone until theyre getting married. His mom acts all upset that he didnt tell her, but he doesnt believe her. They congratulate him, and thats about it. The nanny that raised him, she's absolutely thrilled and so happy for the two. Shes known about Remus since Logan starred to develop a crush and he called her in the middle of the night to ask for advice. She meets him in person a bit before their wedding.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair?

Remus is a tactile person. He loves to touch and play. When he doesnt have a fidget toy, he demands Logan's hair. Its difficult to read and also not doze off when someone is playing with his hair, but he tries.

Logan also plays with Remus' hair because its long and a bit wild. He mostly does it when he needs to help Remus brush it out, but when Remus is sitting in his lap with his head om his chest, Logan cant help as his hand just wanders up and starts carding through his hair. Remus melts every time, touch starved and desperate for affection.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated?

Both of them are terrible at keeping up with needs. Logan will get into a focus and just not remember the world around him until Remus sets a sandwich and a glass of water down next to him. Hes very grateful. Remus is more an active person, so he'll be running around causing chaos, typically with Janus or Virgil and occasionally Roman, and Logan will make sure he has something when he gets home, because Logam cant focus on anything but making sure Remus is okay when hes gone.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other?

Remus will defend Logan to the death. Whether it be he has to throw hands or yell at someone, he'll do it. Logan is forever glad to have Remus in his life because he is a very passive person.

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other?

Remus' surprises are not always safe for work, but he loves to just... have a surprise waiting for Logan at any given moment.

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things?

They both agree the pinky promise is the best way to do things for them. Its childish like Remus likes, and feels a little official like Logan likes.

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch?

Janus does because they both just fall asleep draped over each other. Logan doesnt like to sleep anywhere but his bed and Remus will sleep anywhere, and always while laying on top of Logan so he has no choice but to stay there. He denies a blanket, saying hes gonna get up in a bit, but he never does.

[silver-starlight-99]

Monsters at Work:  The Jokester Generation  Part Four: Steps to an Uncertain Future

Be prepared for one doozy of an info-dump

One of the proudest moments of Tylor Benjamin Tuskmon’s life was the day he graduated Scarer Cum Laude from Monsters University.  It was a hallmark moment for the entire Tuskmon family in fact; as he was the first in his familial line to graduate from college.  Bernard and Millie Tuskmon couldn’t have been prouder of their son, and both were more than happy to share that act.  From as young as five years old, little Tylor was awestruck by the Scarers of Monsters Inc., I imagine like many Monster children his age.  But it wasn’t until the fourth grade that he made the decision to become a full-fledged Scarer once he came of age. 

The boy was a natural talent, with his height and horns giving him quite the intimidating profile.  But much like a certain green, one-eyed monster, Tylor wasn’t afraid to study like mad to perfect his skills, and made a hobby of collecting/memorizing every Scarer Card he could get his claws on.  His parents, despite coming from more of a lower middle-class background, wanted to do everything they could to support their child when they saw the dedication he was putting into his dream-career.  Bernard worked long nights at his family’s hardware store for years, and Millie even pawned off a number of family heirlooms, just to make enough to put their boy through college once the time came.  Add on the special scholarship he received from one of the most prestigious Scaring Schools in the country, and it looked like everyone’s hard work paid off after all.  Sure, that kind of laser-focussed dedication meant he wasn’t as sociable as most his age, but it was worth it if it meant being that much closer to his childhood dream. 

Besides his graduation, the last time Tylor had this much attention on him was during the party hosted by Dean Knight in celebration of him breaking an old MU Scaring record as a part of his final exam.  Beating even James P. Sullivan’s numbers on the Simulation Room, recorded from the monster’s time during the Scare Games. A fact that made its way across the school campus in record time, reaching the ears of a certain brother duo working in MU’s theater department.  They were both friends with the infamous college dropout, and thought he’d be interested to hear his old title was being taken over by this new blood.   

Even if he couldn’t remember the names of most of the people in attendance, despite having been in classes with them for years, Tylor couldn’t have been prouder, knowing all that hard work had been worth it.  Especially so because before leaving the party, his teacher, Professor Shade, pulled him aside to tell him he’d received a letter of recommendation from Monsters Incorporated.  Despite the controversies surrounding the company since the event deemed The Waternoose Scandal, Monsters Inc. was still considered one of the premiere energy factories in the country.  And, looking at the young monster’s impressive list of accomplishments, the Board of Directors wanted to accept him as soon as possible.    

This was everything Tylor Tuskman could’ve wanted.  The chance to live his dream, make his family proud, and make his mark on the world of Scaring.  He thought that after he graduated from college, it would be nothing but smooth sailings.  Little did poor Tylor realize, he would make an astronomical impact on not just the Scaring world, but the Monster world as a whole.  Just… not in the way he expected.  And he had one of his former childhood heroes to thank for that.   

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Most monsters would agree that everything began to change the morning The Waternoose Scandal was released to the public.  Some would argue that it was the initial sighting of the Tiny Terror of Monstropolis at the now famous restaurant Harryhausen’s that got the ball rolling.  Others say that the panic stirred by the escaped child was merely the spark that would ignite the true bonfire that would come to consume the city. 

Tylor Tuskmon was just a bit too young to remember much of the hysteria itself.  The almost two-year-old spent most of the time after the initial sighting held up in his family’s hardware store.  While Bernard worked to keep his family safe and provide his neighboring Monsters tools they could use to defend themselves, should the dangerous creature be spotted in their neighborhood.  It wasn’t until the next morning when Millie saw a televised announcement from the CDA giving a cautionary all-clear that the Tuskmons felt safe enough to take down the boards on their windows.  They, along with many of their other neighbors, spent much of the day in a state of anxiety, with a confused Tylor trying to comprehend why everyone he knew was being so skittish and weird.  By the following morning, it was announced that the CDA had located and returned the child back to it’s world, and their door was shredded for good measure.  The Tuskmon parents heaved a sigh of relief as it seemed things could go back to normal.  However, it wasn’t until three days later that the official story behind the escape was released to the public, and that initial air of dread would be replaced with something new.  

Henry J. Waternoose Ⅲ, during a city-wide energy crisis, was diluting company funds and manipulating his employees to build a prototype for something he’d hoped would reinvent Scream-power extraction.  While effective, it would put Scarers at a higher risk of contamination because of their closer interactions with human children.  And he was willing to put Monster society on-a-whole in danger by kidnapping thousands of kids in order to maintain his machine’s efficiency.  The Tiny Terror was just the guinea pig to test the prototype.  If all this chaos was the result of a single child escaping his grasp, who knows what would befall Monstropolis if a small army of them were able to revolt from their captors?  If not for the courageous, somewhat fool-hearty, actions of Monsters Incorporated’s top Scaring team, the situation could’ve been much worse.  Thankfully, Mr. Waternoose was quickly apprehended, any known conspirators were questioned, and the CDA would remain vigilant in locating any other associates.  One of which being Randal Boggs, another of Monsters Incorporated’s top Scarers, who seemed to have fled the city while James Sullivan and Mike Wazowski focussed their attention on the true head of operations.

Between the media coverage of the CEO’s trial, dealing with the continuing energy crisis, the protests that arose from Monsters angered by the gross negligence of Waternoose’s Scream Extractor plan, and the lingering anxiety from the initial child sighting, things in Monstropolis would remain… let’s say hectic for a while.  Because of The Waternoose Scandal, Anthropophobia was at an all-time high, especially in Monstropolis, where there were more than enough monsters happy to use that lingering paranoia to their advantage.  You’d be surprised by the amount of small and big-budget movies that were produced in response to the whole affair.  Along with Monstropolis politicians that would use this instance to promote themselves as beacons of safety during election campaigns.  Not to mention the dozens of Monsters who’d use The Waternoose Scandal as a way to sell cheap junk to gullible tourists believing they were purchasing actual weapons used against a human.

Meanwhile, as trust in Monsters Inc. was beginning to dwindle, the same could not be said for the CDA.  Mike and Sully may have received the lion’s share of attention and praise for their efforts, but public approval for the Child Detection Agency had reached new heights for their supposed work in apprehending Waternoose and detaining the dangerous child.  And as long as the heroes of the hour were “willing” to vouch for the good work of Roz and her subordinates, she was willing to overlook certain incriminating details that may have fallen through the cracks as she wrote up her report.

It would be two years since The Waternoose Scandal before the dust would truly settle.  While the fear of Humans would remain in the city, much of the initial mania had long-since died down.  Despite receiving a life sentence in the Monstropolis Maximum Security Prison, the former CEO would pass on due to heart complications just a year into his confinement.  Since then, Monsters Inc’s Board of Directors had appointed new CEO, a squirrely fellow named Hunter Tycroft, who was more than willing to comply with the CDA’s occasional sweeps of the factory in hopes of discovering any lingering documents involving Waternoose’s plans for the Scream-Extractor.

As for Mike and Sully, they would eventually go on to continue their good work as the best Scaring team in the city, even breaking the all-time Scaring record; a dream they’d both shared since their first days on the job.  A young Tylor Tuskman, along with many of his peers, would watch in awe from their televisions as mayor Titus Fangmore himself held a ceremony to congratulate the two for their good work.  But to those who truly knew the duo, their fire, that initial passion for their work that drove them to achieve such records, had been fading ever since Waternoose’s arrest.  They did their part to help with the energy crisis, but between Sully’s bout of depression and Mike’s aggravation over the constant harassment by the press, the two were going through the motions for a while.  But with each other’s support, they would eventually get their heads back in the game, and their normally cheerful personalities would return.  To the general public, it seems like things were finally going back to some sense of normal.   

But trust me, in a few years, the duo idolized as heroes, would soon become the center of a cultural upheaval that would drastically affect both Monsters Incorporated and the Monster world as a whole. 

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By the 10-year anniversary of The Waternoose Scandal, things in Monstropolis had almost returned to normal.  Sure, there would be the occasional conspiracy theorist looking to stir up the populace, something that was becoming easier through the development of technology and social media.  But of course, most Monsters are quick to dismiss the more outlandish stories.  I mean, come on; The CDA blackmailing Mike and Sully into assisting with the capture of a door-hopping child?  It sounds like a fun idea for a movie, but that’s just the kind of speculative fiction Monsters make up to milk whatever nostalgia they can from a big event.  Something like that couldn’t have actually happened and been covered up, right?

Well, whatever the case, Mike and Sully are brought in for an interview on national news to commemorate the anniversary, with many of Monstropolis’ citizens tuning in.  And while some of the two’s answers can’t help but feel a bit… scripted at times, things go smoothly.  That is, until the end, where Mike and Sully decide to make an announcement.  For what feels like the first time since the initial incident, the two choose to be more earnest about their time with the human child.  It’s not enough to technically break the vow of silence they had with the CDA, but it’s enough to talk about one specific experience.

It happened all at once, so they didn’t think much of it at the time, but there was something about that instance that always stood out to them.  Monsters had always believed it was a child’s screams that powered their world, yet a giggle had enough energy that it could blow out an entire apartment’s worth of appliances?  They only had a few experiences to go by, but Mike and Sully were at least open to exploring Laugh power as an alternative energy source for their world.  After living through, and being forced to work to their limits during an intense power crisis, there was something appealing about Monsters being able to harvest ten times the normal amount of energy from a single kid.  Of course, all of this was just working off of theories, but the Scarers were eager to reach out to others who’d help them test their ideas.  After all, if this was as successful as they believed it could be, this could completely revolutionize the power-production industry.  That is, if the higher-ups within that same industry were willing to accept the possibility of treating children as something other than a toxic battery. 

Yeah, unsurprisingly, a majority of Monster society had… let’s say conflicted opinions about this.  This wasn’t the first time the idea of alternative energies was brought to the general public, it’s not even the first time someone proposed something cleaner, sometimes with no necessity for a human.  But in a world where companies like Monsters Incorporated, Fear Co and Scream Industries have a monopoly on power distribution, they made sure to deter any who posed a threat to their bottom line.  Many of said companies have some sort of tie to major media outlets, so it doesn’t take much to persuade certain news stations to… alter the public perception of certain individuals.  Or just scare the populace into a frenzy akin to the Satanic Panic of the 80’s at the mere mention of alternative energies.  Monsters Bernard and Millie’s age can remember reading news articles in their high-school years about some kind of whack-job cult that believed the blood and teeth of human children could be turned into a reusable fuel, but only if pulled directly from the source.  Of course such rumors were eventually debunked, but their purpose was fulfilled, and most major cities would come to totally rely on Scream energy.  Leaving many of those same monsters who proposed a change to be publicly shamed into reconforming, or unable to build a functioning prototype for their idea because of a lack of funding.    

But things were different for Mike and Sully.  They weren’t some crackpot duo out to corrupt Monster society, these were the heroes of Monstropolis, the tops of their field in Scaring, and practically paraded by the CDA at any needed opportunity.  And now, they’re saying they’re willing to give it all up because of a hunch from an incident over ten years ago?  They’re claiming that the beings that have terrorized Monsterkind for hundreds of years are creatures that should be entertained and not terrified?  Are human children even truly toxic?!

So, like I said, many in the monster world were split on this idea.  Many of the older generation were quick to dismiss Mike and Sully’s idea, usually because of their own self-interests or internalized perceptions of humans.  One thing’s for sure, it hurt Tylor when Barnard insisted they get rid of all his Mike and Sully memorabilias after the interview, the elder Tuskmon believing the Scarers were just trying to reclaim their fame from ten years ago by making up nonsense about children not being toxic.  It was a sentiment shared by many Monster adults, unable to comprehend that such a seemingly obvious fact of their world was being challenged.  For Tylor’s generation however… things get a bit complicated.

Of course, for kids like Tylor who grew up in a time where anthropophobia was on the rise in their formative years, a fear of Humans was ingrained pretty early on.  But at the same time, these were kids that grew up during The Waternoose Scandal.  The seemingly-irrefutable truths of their parents’ era were being questioned, or outright exposed for their corruption.  Even if most Monsters of this younger generation were still brought up to be scared of humans, there was more than enough evidence for them to consider that perhaps alternative forms of energy production were worth looking into.  Not to mention, with the total boom of human-themed horror films that were brought about by the The Waternoose Scandal, just as many human horror film fanatics come to root for the monsters in movies, there were many Monsters that became fascinated with humans because of such productions.  While the Tuskmons may have considered their son to be a relatively good kid, in a fit of rebellion in his teen years, Tylor would occasionally sneak into his local movie theater to catch an age-inappropriate human-based horror movie.

As the young Monster would grow to hone his scaring skills, Mike and Sully were doing what they could to make leeway with their plan to bring Laugh power to Monstropolis, while dealing with the public backlash they were receiving as a result of their announcement.  Sure the younger generation was open to the possibility, but they needed individuals with a little more credibility in the corporate field to build a working prototype.  Not to mention the ever-daunting question of where exactly could they find Monsters that would be willing to be the test-subjects for such a project?  Because of their… complicated background with the folks at the MU Scaring school, Sully didn’t think it wise to turn to them for help.  Having the vocal support of a famous Scarer could’ve helped to give credibility to their idea, but as expected, most weren’t exactly willing to forfeit their Scaring careers or reputations on such an outlandish idea.

In the end, the only people they could get to listen to them were a little-known organization called CETHCA (Creatures for the Ethical Treatment of Humans and Children Alike.)  Because the Monster world’s understanding of human behavior is so warped, this group could best be described as a weird human appreciation club that was managed by extraterrestrials.  Unlike the general public, these individuals are actually curious to learn more about the habits of the human race, and have often tried to advocate for the proper treatment and compensation of children for their screams.  Of course, the media does what they can to paint these people as  attention-seeking wackjobs.  Sully himself even remembers listening to Waternoose complain about a CETHCA protest during his early days as a Scarer, with the CEO painting the lot as a group just a few steps up from an organized cult, with its Monsters so desperate for validation they’d believe any dangerous notions their leaders told them.

But when they finally caught wind of Mike and Sully’s proposal, they decided to pull their resources together to try and boost the public’s support for the idea.  It wasn’t quite the compensation for children they were hoping for, it was the first time in what felt like a long time someone in the energy business seemed to take an interest in showing these creatures some respect.  Like I said, these guys are certainly more sympathetic to humans, but that doesn’t mean they have the experience to be able to see children as beings equal to them in sapience and intelligence.  While they still didn’t have the most positive reputation in the eyes of the public, CETHCA had slowly received more members as dissatisfaction with Monsters Incorporated’s practices began to grow.  And with the development of social media, what started as an eclectic group of Monsters was soon enough to form a decent following.  And after getting to meet with Mike and Sully themselves, they took to the streets and the internet to spread the word of the power of laughter.

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It had been fifteen years since The Waternoose Scandal.  While their glory years as Monsters Inc’s top Scarers may have been behind them, Mike and Sully remained figues of interest, for better and for worse.  Their advocacy for Laugh power may have gained more legitimacy because of CETHCA’s efforts, but that didn’t mean many of their co-workers were quiet about their discomfort.  If Scarers didn’t have what it took to make children laugh, many would need to be laid off in exchange for those who better fit the bill.  In fact, a lot of Monster culture is based around a Monster’s scariness; for some it’s considered the measure of a true Monster.  There are many businesses outside of Scream production that only exist to try and make a Monster look more threatening.  If Laugh power proved to be more profitable, it meant not just a max layoff of Scarers, but a decline in the world’s economy, one Monsters may not be able to bounce back from.  A few of Monsters Incorporated’s Scarers decided to transfer to other companies, or outright quit to pursue more stable jobs in these unsure times.  If Mike and Sully weren’t doing their best to maintain Monstropolis’ energy levels, the higher ups probably would’ve fired them just to keep the company out of another scandal.

Which made it all the stranger when the two received a message from the Board of Directors.  Beforehand, Monsters Inc. never gave an official statement on whether they were for or against the idea of Laugh power, still just trying to clean up the mess left behind from The Waternoose Scandal.  But suddenly, Mike and Sully received an email stating that the company was interested in experimenting with Laugh power, if only to see for themselves if it was possible to multiply their energy output with just a few tweeks to the typical method.  While skeptical, Sully was just relieved that someone in the higher ups was finally taking their idea seriously, and agreed.  Mike was equally unsure of the Board’s intentions, but decided to use this to his advantage, managing to squeeze out a few work perks and a raise for him and Sully in exchange for his compliance.

From then on came the process of actually building the experimental “Laugh Floor,” and finding the right Monsters that would inevitably become the new faces of Laugh power production, aptly called Jokesters.  Using one of the older Scare floors reserved for members of the occasionally-used night shift, they would begin to build the first Laugh floor.  All that really needed to be modified for the process of energy extraction were the Scream canisters, to adjust to the larger amounts of output produced.  To do so, the Board pulled some strings with their connections at Monsters University, having some of their Scream-Can focussed students earn extra credit by assisting with the prototypes.  What took a bit more work to explain was the request for a simulation dummy that responded with laughter instead of screams.  But hey, as long as MI was willing to be more lenient in accepting their Scaring school students after graduation, the university saw no need to question things further.

With most of the technical stuff sorted out, then came the difficult task of finding the right Jokesters.  In the end, it was decided to be a mix of old Scaring pros to start things off, and then use them to train the fresher faces, as a way to prove that training was accessible to any who were open enough to try.  Mike of course led the charge in Jokester training, working with Ms. Flint to create a step-by-step training guide to eventually be shared with other companies and Scaring schools.  It was here where Mike saw his first recruit, Brian “Phlegm” Bile, a regular in the company’s simulation room who seemed to make a name for himself as the Monster to look to to see what not to do to Scare.  The pratfalls that seemed to keep him from becoming a true Scarer made Phlegm a perfect Jokester candidate.  

The next two actually reached out to Sully.  Scaring legend Carla “Killer Claws” Benitez was interested in the potential of techniques that could produce larger amounts of energy, so she was willing to do her part, even at her older age, to keep the city she loved from having to deal with another energy crisis.  For Rosie “Roaring” Levin, even if it came from a morbid curiosity than anything else, was curious to see how a more human-friendly form of energy-production would work, and so reached out to Sully to see what he had to say.  Lastly, but definitely the most surprising, was Art.  Yup, Mike and Sully’s old Oozma Kappa brother had certainly lived an interesting life since his graduation.  Part of which included joining up with CETHCA, if only to try and broaden his own understanding of the world.  He was actually the one to get the two Scarers connected with the organization.  And now that they were ready to put things in action, he was happy to lend his services as a Jokester.  

Mike included, that totaled to five Jokesters.  An admittedly small number, but something they could hopefully make up for with their extra energy output.  As Sully worked with the mechanical side of putting together the Laugh floor, Mike and Ms. Flint were using trial and error to turn these Scarers into Jokesters, and organizing their findings into a comprehensive manual for future trainees.

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It’s been twenty years since The Waternoose Scandal.  It’s just days away from Tylor Tuskmon’s first day at Monsters Incorporated.  Just a few days before this Scaring pro has his childhood dream turned on his head.  Just two weeks before the city of Monstropolis learns that one of their biggest companies is going through some big managerial changes.  And just a few days before a certain someone makes their official return to the city that changed their life forever.  Will the Monster world be able to survive this inevitable upheaval?  Who knows.  Either way, I suggest you grab a snow cone, you’re gonna want a snack as we wait for this powder keg to go off.   

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By the Gods!  When I started writing these things, I had no idea it was gonna take me this long just to get through my backstory stuff!  Ugh.  Well, it’s finally done.  And you know what?  Back when I did part one, I said I wasn’t planning on turning my ideas into a full-fledged fan-fiction.  Well guess what?  After all the energy I put into this, I’d feel pretty sh*tty if I didn’t bother paying off all the stuff I was building up to.  Yup, looks like I’m writing a fan-fiction for my Monsters at Work au thingy.  Hopefully it shouldn’t take me a whole month before I make another post about this.  But I won’t try to make promises I know I can’t keep.  To the handful of people who bothered to stick around this long, and to read all of my previous rambly-posts, thank you.  And I ask you to stay tuned.  The Jokester Generation is on its way.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Bella and Renata changed places in the story? What would change?

... You sure you want me to answer that?

This, my friend, is the path to the heart of darkness.

First, for my sanity’s sake, when you say switch places I’m assuming that things like genetics/gifts are staying intact.

This is a meta to be written, but at least on some level, while gifts are informed by genetics they also are informed by what you need. Jane and Alec point to this as well as surviving vampires whose gifts were curiously helpful. Of course, there’s something to be said that perhaps this is survivor bias. The ones with helpful gifts survive because Afton was murdered. And there’s something to be said for that, and I do think that comes into play, but in a different meta.

RIGHT

What Happens to Bella

Bella is molested if not raped by her Uncle Luca.

Bella is groomed from... some point that’s worryingly early in her life, to be turned into a vampire when she’s an adult. Given Renata’s story and her gift, given Makenna’s centuries later, it’s highly likely that Uncle Luca rather than making a fellow “protector” of the family is taking tithes in the form of daughters to become his brides for a time.

And when I say highly likely I mean I can think of no other explanation where everything in the backstory lines up so neatly.

Renata’s saved from rape and molestation thanks to her gift. Bella’s gift is extremely powerful and versatile as well, however, while it does change to suit her needs it seems to rely heavily on precognition and mental protection. In canon, having Renata’s abilities would have made Bella untouchable by James, Victoria, and Laurent. Instead, she gets warnings through Hallucination Edward and precognitive dreams or else is able to shield herself entirely mentally.

As a result, I imagine Bella would have terrifying prophetic dreams growing up, in which Uncle Luca, the patron saint of the family that no one has ever seen, turns out to be a flesh eating demon who rapes her. She might even have a Hallucination Edward equivalent who tells her to GET THE FUCK OUT.

Bella is reassured by her entire family that everything is fine, Luca’s the family protector and certainly not a demon, and that Bella joining him when she turns 20 will be a wonderful thing.

As a result, Bella probably grows up a neurotic mess, probably just as isolated if not more so than she was in canon.

And then it’s too late.

As Luca’s pulling the same stunt he did in canon, I imagine the Volturi eventually show up. Bella is offered the same out she was in canon and, like Renata, I imagine she takes it desperately.

Only, given everything, she likely doesn’t have the same attachment to the family that Renata did. I imagine as a survivor of sexual assault who was sold off by her family, however unwillingly they did so or however much they were hoodwinked, that she wouldn’t know what to think of them. Not for a very long time, anyway. So, I imagine in this universe, Uncle Luca and all the humans who knew of him die. 

Renata not existing, Bella is taken on as a bodyguard, and is a pretty good deal. She’s not Renata, who is the best bodyguard anyone could wish for, but she shields well from mental attacks and they can have someone like Felix be the muscle where appropriate. In this world, Aro probably actually would have some eventual use for Alice, as she could support Bella in predicting any direct attacks on at least the Volturi coven (Aro, Caius, Marcus, and the wives).

Bella is a mess for a very very very long time. While I like to think eventually she’ll recover, I can’t tell you what this would be. I think Bella would be extremely hesitant to ever take a lover or get married, and would instead devote herself to Aro’s protection with at least Renata’s zeal if not more so.

What Happens to Renata

For the sake of my sanity, to truly put Renata in Bella’s place, I’m imagining she’s Edward’s singer. You’re not living the Bella experience if you don’t have to deal with Edward.

Renata, in 2005 for reasons unknown, moves to Forks to live with her estranged father Charlie. 

Renata attends Biology that first day of school where she’s very nearly eaten by Edward. Only, instead of Edward not being able to read her mind, he finds himself unable to get close to her. He can’t sit at her table, her gift sends him wandering in a drunken daze across the room and into the wall.

Edward is very confused, utterly humiliated, but he has no idea what’s happened. Part of Renata’s gift is that you don’t realize you’ve been deflected. You just suddenly find yourself not having approached Renata like you expected.

Edward probably tries to return to his seat, holding his breath, and thinking of Carlisle’s beautiful face (he seriously does this in canon). However, he’s unable to that time either, and this time Renata probably pushes him out of the room entirely.

Edward congratulates himself for unconsciously resisting temptation in the classroom (which would have been very bad and required his brutal murder of all the witnesses).

He’ll eat her after school.

Much like canon, Edward upon leaving school is probably able to clear his head enough to realize he does not have to eat Renata Swan. So he flees the state, lives with the Denali for the two days it takes to get sick of them, and comes back.

And here’s where things get... bad.

Presumably, Renata does not struggle with depression the way Bella does. Terrible things happened to her in canon, and it’s true we know very little about her, but for all she shadows Aro she doesn’t seem to give off those same depressed vibes Bella does.

Renata also, presumably, does not have the weird genetic quirk Bella does where she finds vampires a) not terrifying at all b) omg hawt.

Most people in canon, when they look at a vampire, see something that’s hauntingly beautiful but also wrong. Vampires are fucking scary looking. Even at their gentlest, they do not look right. Bella’s just... into that.

So, unlike canon, the second Biology class Renata looks at Edward in complete terror and Edward can read every thought through Renata’s mind that he tried to eat her. Edward has a complete existential crisis over this as Renata was witness to his most demonic side that he loathes.

Edward will never be with Renata the way he was with Bella because of this. Part of what appeals to him about Bella is that he can a) project a persona of his choosing onto her while thinking he knows her well b) she’s this angelic creature who sees the best in demons. Renata sees demons and sees demons.

Biology is awkward and terrible, Renata probably desperately thinks about switching seats, but doesn’t want anyone to sit next to Edward the demon. 

Then the truck happens.

Much like Bella, Edward saves Renata’s life (and I headcanon that Renata’s gift actually allows for this due to the imminent danger coming from a truck rather than a person). Only, this time, there’s no excuse that he was secretly doing it for love, he’s doing it for that sweet sweet blood.

Renata is taken to the hospital, she’s seen everything, and Edward can see every thought in her head where she absolutely knows Edward Cullen is not a human being.

The family has their vote, only this time, it goes differently.

Renata would never let Alice play Barbie Bella, and thus, Alice does not see Renata as her future best friend forever. Nor does she see Renata becoming Edward’s future lover and mate.

However, Alice still votes no, because it’s not going to work. None of them are going to be able to murder Renata.

Edward is conflicted and votes no, but doesn’t have the reassurance that it’s because he’s in love, it’s secretly because he wants to eat her. He’s not admitting that to himself yet.

As in canon, Carlisle tries to think well of his ridiculous family, and tells Rosalie, “No, Rosalie, killing a teenage girl because you don’t want to move high schools is bad.”

Jasper thinks carefully about this, and tries to devise different schemes to kill Renata and gauge Alice’s opinion. Unlike in canon, he’s not given the two certain futures: Edward will eat Bella or Edward will turn Bella.

Jasper eventually decides to lace Renata’s house with explosives and, when she’s home (preferably if she’s alone but he’s alright with Charlie Swan as collateral damage) blow the place up from a distance.

Alice saw this succeeding, unfortunately, Edward and Emmett make a few decisions.

Jasper is blowing up a motherfucking house. The police chief’s house no less. This is the coolest thing the family has ever done. That Rosalie approves, while not saying as much out loud due to her abiding by Carlisle’s decision, makes this even better. Emmett wants involved, desperately, Jasper gives him some small task that he fucks up.

The wiring is done incorrectly, the bomb will never detonate.

Edward is now in full protector of the women and children (and blood bags) mode and plans to counter Jasper’s attack and confronts him and Emmett. They have the all out brawl that Alice saw in canon.

Renata wakes up in the middle of the night to find the family of demons fist fighting each other outside her house, having wired her house to explode. They have now gone past the point of no return, in a sense, where in canon Bella had had a car accident and would in time remember this as a very strange incident in her life, now the vampires have tried to blow up her house.

I imagine things continue to escalate as the witness now really has to be murdered. They fail every time, Renata lives in a paranoid hell where she can’t tell anyone that every night demons come to murder her in her bedroom.

Carlisle is appalled by everyone and eventually tells Renata the truth and offers her immortality.

[dokoni-mo]

Far Away, Together || Darth Vader x Reader

(A/N: Hello all! This is my first post on tumblr and I am so excited to share my fic with all you lovely people!!! I used to write alot, but haven’t in some time. Since I am renewing my love for star wars, I thought that I would do a little something for my favorite man of all time: Vader!!! A big thanks to Kenna for helping to inspire me to write again (you know who you are :))) ). This is chapter one of a series of about 10 chapters I plan to write. Please enjoy and feel free to ask to be added to the tag list!! also, not my gif)

WARNINGS: mentions of a TIE crash, some cursing

Key: (F/N) = first name  (L/N) = last name

Word Count: ~3600

Edit: Link to Chapter Two: [x]

Life on the Super Star Destroyer was exactly the same as the ship looked on the outside: cold, dull, and gray. Color? What’s that? Life? Never heard of it. 

No one ever really stopped to mingle with one another, even for a brief, courteous “hello!” or “hey, how’s it going?”. These types of action were seen as unnecessary and not impactful to squashing out the rebellion, as well as to eliminating any sign of hope that one day the Empire will just cease to exist, leaving everyone alone. Everything and everyone had a purpose within the Empire. Everyone had their own job, and heaven forbid that you are somehow unable to do that job. Any failure was seen as weakness, and the Empire had no use for weakness amongst its ranks. These were the fundamental truths of working under the Empire.

Being a mechanic wasn’t so bad. You got to do what you loved to do, so what’s so bad about that? Sure, you had very little contact with the outside world (aside from the occasional news briefing or smuggled-in holovid), you had very few acquaintances, and you were always just referred to as last name only, but all of these could be overlooked. You wake up, put on your drab, gray-green uniform, go to work, then go back to your quarters, rinse and repeat every day of every week. A nice little routine for your nice little job on the nice little imperial vessel. 

To say you blended in with the crowd was wrong. Everyone blended in with the crowd, so to say you blended in with the crowd was diagnosing yourself with special-snowflake syndrome. There was no individuality within the Empire. There was only the Empire, the usage of names only a formality or a way to get one’s attention. Despite this, due to human nature, those serving would often try to attempt some sort of individuality. Female officers would have a signature way of pulling back their hair, troopers would talk in different made-up accents, and some even gave themselves tattoos. You, however, found your individuality within your work. 

When fixing something, you would often put  your own spin on how you bring said thing back to its former glory. Fixing a speederbike? Lets rewire the wires so that they make a nice, pretty zig-zag pattern. This will help it steer a bit better, anyway. Fixing a blaster with a faulty trigger? Why not add a new cooling system just to be nice. Fixing a TIE? Oh boy, the possibilities are endless. 

This may be what has allowed you to rise through the ranks so quickly as a mechanic. There was seemingly nothing that you couldn’t inflict your midas touch upon. Plop anything down on your workbench and it's a guarantee that it will be fixed. 

On the other hand, it may just be dumb luck. This is ultimately what you thought. You were just merely doing your job, trying to not cause any trouble for yourself, just like everyone else you worked with. It just so happened to be you that the Empire had noticed. 

It was this attention that landed you this new assignment.The news had come suddenly and almost unexpectedly. Pack your bags, (F/N), you're out of the Endor research station and now on a one-way ticket to the Super Star Destroyer. Of course, there was no one around to pat you on the back when you got the news, and certainly no one to say congratulations. You did that yourself that night by treating yourself to an extra ration. 

If you were anyone else within the Empirical army, you would be over the moon about working on this ship. But, you felt no emotion towards the subject. It was just another job, what’s so special about it?

You quickly learned the answer to that. 

Him. 

He made the entire aura of the ship much tenser than any other research station or star destroyer that you had ever been on. People were not kidding when they said that his entire presence dripped with authority and power. To defy him, was to defy the Empire. To fail him, was to fail the Empire. It also always meant a loss of your life by the point of his saber. 

You remember the first time that you saw him with your own eyes, not just an image from a news briefing or the picture you formed in your head when you heard the stories. You were lined up along with all of your new fellow troopers, officers, and mechanics, your hands firmly by your sides and your chin held up high, your eyes the only part allowed to move. He had been returning from some sort of escapade, and it was time for another customary formal greeting for him.

He was hard to miss when the door to the shuttle had touched the cold, hard ground. Everything about him was massive, intimidating. Dressed head to toe in black, his frame resembling a man but his features that of a droid. Despite the layers upon layers of armor and clothing, you could tell his muscles were nothing to bat an eye at. His shoulderspan looked like it could be twice your own, and his hands look like they could wrap around your waist and crush you in to a million tiny pieces at any second. Hot. 

As he walked past you, you could feel the floor vibrate with menacing trembles as he took each step. His breathing was enrapturing, filling up your ears like it was there to live rent-free. When he finally spoke (a simple “Good, admiral”), you could feel the bass right in the middle of  your chest. His voice was encapsulating, surrounding you with it's deep, authoritative, encompassing demeanor. Even hotter. 

Yes, Darth Vader was quite the interesting character. But, he was not the one, you had decided, to try and become buddy-buddy with. Far too risky. Instead, you would carry on as normal: do your job, and don’t get in anyone’s way. You have done this for years, and a change of scenery with a far more intimidating boss wouldn't change that. 

Except when it did. 

The day (you believed that it was day, at least. It was hard to keep track of time in the middle of space on a giant floating mouse cursor) was as simple as ever. You woke up, ate your breakfast rations, then went straight to work. They had you fixing a few blasters and comms that day. How exciting. 

You almost didn't hear the sound of the sirens when they went off, nor how the room suddenly was flashing red. When you had finally came-to, the sound of a highly distressed officer was over the hangar’s comm system. 

“Everyone clear the bridge now! Lord Vader is coming in hot!”

Coming in hot? You wondered what that had meant. Of course, you knew what that meant, but this was Lord Vader we were talking about. He was the best pilot in the whole Empirical fleet. He never crashed, you had thought. 

Despite your judgement, you put down your tools and started to run along with the other mechanics. They seemed just as confused as you were, awkwardly trying to shuffle out of their stations into somewhere safe. Quietly slipping past the small crowd, you found refuge on the other side of the doorway you were in, finding a place to watch within one of the windows. 

Looking up to the stars that made up the tail-end wall of your workplace, you were almost shocked to see that the officer over the comm wasn’t hallucinating. Lord Vader’s TIE was, indeed, coming in hot. A noticeable plumage of smoke followed in his wake, as well as the occasional burst of sparks and the odd chunk of metal falling off. The noise that TIE made when it passed through the barrier was unholy, making you wince right before you had jumped in your polished boots. Lord Vader’s TIE crashed right on the floor of your workspace, skidding along and spinning not before crashing into several unfinished projects and stopping just before the doorway you had been standing in.  

Oh, maker. He’s dead. 

That was your only thought as the smoke and dust around the TIE settled in the air. The smoke was occasionally illuminated by the sparks coming out of the ship. This was definitely not a pretty scene. That TIE was busted. 

A twinge of some sort of odd emotion rippled through you as you saw the tip of a red stream of light pierced through the metal of the broken TIE. It made a large circle motion before shrinking back inside. Moments later, the circle had been thrown off, flying past the group of mechanics that had begun to shuffle awkwardly back into the hangar to inspect the scene for themselves. You had joined them as the circle was discarded off of the TIE, the wind making a strand of your hair raise. 

He stepped out of the burning pile of metal mess moments later. A small amount of smoke radiated off of his body as his boots collided with the ground. His shoulders were raised, his left fist in a ball as his right held on firmly to his weapon. He offered no one any explanation as he marched his way to the medical bay, an air of contempt and loathing following him. 

They had let you off to lunch early that day. The smoke from the TIE could be toxic, and they needed some time to clear out the hangar before everyone could get back to work. 

You ate your ration in silence as everyone around you murmured their theories and rumors about the incident that had occurred about an hour earlier. There was no need to speculate, in your eyes, and the only people you talked with were out on some other assignment. Silence kept you company, anyhow. 

Your peaceful lunch, however, was eventually rudely interrupted by some rude, old geezer. His uniform adorned many different patches and pins, so you figured he had to be some sort of presiding, know-it-all, experienced officer. The lines in his face only made him look more stern and stuck up than he sounded, his lips pursed as he eyed the datapad he held whilst he stood in front of your lunch table. 

“(L/N), I presume, yes? Our newest mechanic from Endor?” the old man questioned, his dark eyes flicking back and forth between you and your glowing blue picture. 

“Yes, sir. That’s me.” you responded, sitting up to offer some sort of respect to the officer. 

The old man turned off his datapad with that, folding his arms behind his back as he addressed you fully. “Well, Miss (L/N), I do hope that your current assignment holds no sentimental value to you. You are being reassigned with a very important alternative, effective immediately.” 

“Immediately?” you questioned, “I apologize sir, I don’t quite-”

“Your new assignment, Miss (L/N), is to repair Lord Vader’s TIE. I assume you bore witness to his entrance earlier today.” said the old officer, cutting you off. “Lord Vader’s ship is of utmost importance to the Empire, and we only assign our best to repair it when needed. We have already removed your previous assignment from your station and place Lord Vader’s TIE in its place.” 

Before you could get another word out, the officer turned on his heel to leave, only giving you a side glance over his shoulder as he continued, “You should be pleased, Miss (L/N). You just became one of our finest mechanics.” 

~~~

You only saw a heaping pile of garbage that was vaguely shaped like a TIE Advanced x1 at your station when you returned. The ship was mangled beyond repair. Aside from the gaping hole in the center of the fighter, the wings were gnashed beyond recognition, many of the metal plates lining the surface either gone or melted, the wires that snaked along the inside of the craft were now on the outside, and it still hadn’t stopped smoking completely. 

You couldn't hide your expression as you walked around the TIE. Why the hell would you even try and repair this hunk of shit? you thought to yourself, Just get a new TIE, I’m sure the Empire can afford it. 

You contemplated on going back and finding that old man that gave you the assignment and asking him to repeat it back to you. Whoever wanted this thing repaired was a madman at best. Sighing, you reminded yourself of your virtues. Do your job, don’t get in the way. And, this was your new job. 

You had no idea on where to start. 

~~~

It was long past quitting hours when you heard the doors to the hangar open. 

You were perched on top of the broken down TIE, your jacket long since discarded. You were left only in your boots, pants, tanktop, and goggles as you heard heavy footsteps draw closer to your station. 

You paused briefly from your welding to listen to the footsteps for a brief moment. You pondered for a short time on whether or not to address the person walking towards you, but decided against it. You figured that they were just some trooper or other mechanic sneaking out for a midnight walk or snack. Although you were loyal to the Empire, you were no snitch to your fellow troop. You resumed your welding after your judgement had ended. 

You continued to listen, however, and noticed how the footsteps had ended very close to your station. Listening past the sound of your welding, your heart almost jumped out your throat and hitched a ride to the outer-rim when you noticed an all-too-familiar sound. 

That breathing. 

To make sure that your ears were not playing tricks on you, you stopped your welding and peeked over the top of the TIE. Sure enough, there he was, staring up at you without a word, without even moving one muscle. Your blood ran cold. 

“L-Lord Vader!” You called down as you scurried to put down your tools, pushing your goggles up to rest on your sweat-gleamed forehead. You landed on the ground with a thunk as you slid down the TIE, hurriedly walking over to address the Dark Lord properly. 

Standing so close to him forced you to notice the height and size difference between the two of you. He was tall, so tall that you had to almost crane your neck to look him in the eyes of his mask. His frame dwarfed yours in every way, making you feel so, so small and weak compared to him. As the sith looked down at you, you couldn't help but feel his real eyes behind the mask bare into you, almost as if he were looking right into the fiber of your being. You swallowed thickly but silently, forgetting that you were out of uniform in front of the Emperor's right hand. 

“I-I apologize, my Lord, I did not hear you come in over the sound-” 

“Is it not past active hours for your department, mechanic?” He interjected, interrogating you. You felt your cheeks gain a touch of rouge out of embarrassment. You had barely even noticed that it was so late, that almost all of the lights in the hangar had gone dim. 

“Yes, my Lord, it is. But, I had-”

“You need not explain yourself to me, mechanic. I have come here for a report on the damage to my ship. If you will so generously supply me with that, perhaps I will overlook your discrepancies tonight.” He said to you, his head tilting to the side. The eyes of his helmet never left your frame as he spoke to you. His authority made a shiver run down your spine, your breath hitch. He could kill you at any moment's notice, and you both knew that. 

“Yes. Yes, of course, my Lord.” You responded quietly. It was then you finally dared to let your gaze fall off of the menacing, tall figure before you. Turning on your heel, you looked up at the broken down craft before you, pressing a hand against the cool metal. “Well, my Lord, I will not dare lie to you. This fighter is in real bad shape. Her left wing is almost completely non-existent, her guns are unrecognizable, and her central computer has been totally fried. Her engine received a great amount of damage as well, and it looks like all of her spark igniters and thrusters will need to be replaced. This is all, of course, not to mention the damage to her framework.” 

You had circled around the TIE absentmindedly as you spoke, your hand gliding over the jagged surface of the craft. Vader’s gaze followed your diminutive frame as you paced about. You could feel the eyes of his mask follow you with every footstep. Were it not for the continuous babbling on about damages, you would be shitting a brick right about now. 

“And how do you plan to proceed with these repairs, mechanic?” He asked you, a hint of his temper and curiosity poking through. 

“Well,” you retorted, looking at him once more, right in the face, “In order to proceed with anything, I have to get the central computer back online and running. That way, I will be able to talk to her better, and maybe even run a diagnostic for any damages that I haven’t caught yet. After that will be the repairs to the wing, which I will likely have to build from scratch from other scrapped TIEs. Once that is complete, repairs to the frame will begin, then onto the guns and engine. This may change, however, if I am able to run that diagnostic, my lord.” 

The way you held yourself in front of the sith lord was certainly a pleasant surprise. Lord Vader was used to his subordinates making a vain attempt to make the situation sound better to him so that he would be pleased. You, however, did not shy away from cutting to the chase and telling Vader how it was. He felt a twinge of appreciation bubble deep, deep down inside him. He always did value someone who truly knew their way around a ship or two. 

Vader took a glance at the mess of his TIE Advanced then back to you before he spoke again. You had refused to take your eyes off him again. 

“I understand,” he rumbled out, placing his large hands on their respective sides of his belt, “I presume that these repairs will take a small while.” 

His words were spoken as a statement, but you knew he was asking. 

“Yes, Lord Vader,” you said, nodding in affirmation, “They indeed will, but I will do all in my power to have her running again just like new.” You couldn't help but flash a small, quick smile at the end of your positivity. 

Vader stared down at you for a brief moment before speaking again, the sound of his steady breath winding around you once again. 

“Good,” he finally said, “I expect no less from you, mechanic. I will come here again periodically, and I expect a full report of progress for each of my visitations. Do I make myself clear? Do not fail me.” 

“Of course, my Lord. I will do exactly as you wish” you replied, giving him a firm nod as you stood at attention. Quickly, you relaxed your pose, letting your gaze fall once more and your body to turn to resume your work. 

Vader, however, stood completely still. He was not done with you quite yet. 

“Your name.” Vader said flatly, with a hint of demand. 

This sent a jolt through you. You shot your gaze back to the sith, your hand gently clutching one of your tools, applying just enough strength to keep it from falling. 

“P-pardon, my Lord?” 

“Your name, mechanic. I wish to know your name.”

You licked your bottom lip hurriedly. You prayed that he couldn't notice your cheeks tint pink. 

“It's (L/N), my Lord-”

“I know that, Miss (L/N). I wish to know your full name. Do not make me ask again.” 

You almost burst out laughing. He had to be joking. This was the first time in years that someone had asked you for your first name. You were surprised that you even still remembered it. 

“It’s… It’s (F/N), my Lord. (F/N) (L/N).” 

Another pause from him, along with another long staring contest between the two of you. Was his breathing always this loud?

After an eternity, he spoke once more, “I have full faith in you, Miss (F/N) (L/N). It is not everyday I have the privilege to converse with one of your skill level and courage.”

With that, he was done. He stepped to the right, turned, and walked to the door, leaving without another look or word. You stared at the door for a long moment before looking at the floor, replaying the past events in your head, letting his words plague your mind over and over like a broken record. 

Was that a compliment?

No, of course not, you had convinced a majority of  yourself. 

With a sigh, you climbed back up to the top of the broken TIE, seated on your perch again. You adorned your goggles once more, telling yourself just a little more before you retired for the night. 

Little did you know, this was only the first interesting night of many to come. 

[expvrgction]

..How long has it been since he was placed in this laboratory? Were it to be his guess, it could have been at least a month or two. No, several. What about a year? Either way, it seemed like what was an eternity ago.

Kahann had the ill luck of being stranded in Hell with an admittedly large portion of fellow brothers and sisters in arms, be it the average soldier of the Argenta Army, or those of the Night Sentinels themselves. Of course, he was familiar with people dying around him despite his best efforts to help them survive for as long as they could. That was, however, just scraping the surface.

A little known fact and to make it worse was that he was back home. But he no longer recognized it as the once grand and beautiful world known as Jekkad. He had never returned here since it became corrupted, and for ages he had made it obvious that he would not step foot in it ever again.

...Ever again. He wished that was the case. Someone had to deny that though, and he was forced to witness the aftermath of his own kin’s descent into madness. For a while, that was, until some demons ambushed and placed the a consciousness-suppressing spell upon him.

At least he didn’t have to have a whole building dropped on him-- And that was when he last heard of the man now dubbed the Doom Slayer. He still got stuffed in a tomb-like contraption like the latter did though. Funny how he found himself back in Castle Isonkast, albeit half of it now laying in ruin from war.

...That didn’t last long as he was retrieved, and it was made clear when he first struggled to wake from this cursed enchantment.

---

The spell he was cursed with was starting to wear off as he remained in a closed-off patient bed, in what appeared to be a medbay, rather than remaining in that tomb. He could open his eyes, but only to a flutter and not wide open-- Tended to get mostly blurry images, that. What did the staff of the Lazarus Labs want from him?

Either way, now with the spell weakened, Kahann could sense life and energy signals coming and going. Some worked at the labs in hours usual or odd alike, some left, some just up and disappeared. As if light got snuffed out of a room. That was one red flag alright.

And then there was the Slayer. He could hear heavy object placement because the specimen room was close by to the medbay. Did he get caught too? Must be painful to remain in forced slumber. He understood the feeling.

More conversations in the background. He was glad to have learned Earthen languages, English being one of them. One voice was more notable than the others- A woman. Olivia Pierce, as she called herself. Head of Biochemical Research, here in the Mars facility.

Mars? This was where Hebeth was built! Oh, that poor lad Eltanin... He was last stationed there-- Kahann was present to congratulate him on his promotion, long ago. Either way, he didn’t like whatever conduct was performed here in the labs-- Pretty sure he sensed demonic presence and energy.

2148. Was that the current year here? Or rather, was it for Earth? He missed that place-- Went there and witnessed an important time in human history, back in the 20th century.

By the stars, he couldn’t bear to sense people dropping dead in the middle of unethical experiments. He got stressed out a few times even in his partial stasis, and he swore he could feel tears slip out of his eyes in his more conscious moments.

It wasn’t really like him to silently plead for innocent lives to be left alone, but his heart broke into pieces from having to unintentionally witness the same thing that happened during those ancient wars.

---

And it finally happened-- An invasion. Always knew Olivia was suspicious. And she wanted to open the gates to the Dark Realm. It was a no wonder Kahann could sense massive drops of human life signals, and a similar increase in demonic ones in return.

Where he had to deal with doling over loss of countless lives in this facility, it now was replaced with fury. Once the spell wears off completely and he fully awakens, he’d look for Olivia and give her a piece of his mind about her atrocities, alright.

Then, something unexpected happened. From the eye-glass of his medical pod, he could see the face of a demon. Summoner. And this one was blindfolded, although Summoners are known to be physically blind.

“Mmm.” A feminine voice. Distorted, sure, but still... “You are part of the Night Sentinels, and yet, your essence gives the implication of you being something else entirely.” Oh. She wasn’t hostile towards him, but it would be a bad idea to assume anything else of the kind. “There is... A certain familiarity to you, but I cannot fathom why.”

Wait, what?

“To think the Slayer escaped. He is on his way here, you know, where he was taken to these labs.” One of her hands touched the side of the medical pod. “Olivia was about to wake you and potentially use you to call us here. But alas, she was so distracted by his presence that poor, poor you ended up abandoned as she had a change of plans.”

“...He’s on his way here. Lest I turn into a fleshy paste in his hands, I must take my leave. We’ll meet again, provided you can escape your imprisonment.” And just like that, She disappeared a flash of Hell energy. Teleported herself out, probably.

Shit. Unless he wanted to stay here longer and end up a mere Life Sphere again this time, he had to do something. A damned sleep spell wasn’t going to stop him now.

[luxekook]

love bites | ksj

*written for the FWL luv library project*

⇥ pairing: kim seokjin x reader

⇥ genre: non-idol au, co-workers to lovers, smut, fluff

⇥ summary: you’re stuck working the evening shift on valentine’s day at bangtan bistro. as the city’s most expensive and exclusive restaurant, the bistro draws in couples both old and new with partners looking to propose or to impress. your tolerance for PDA and cringey lovebirds has never been lower. throw a flirty chef into the mix and you’re in for a bumpy ride that might just conclude with a happy ending.

⇥ word count: 5.4k

⇥ warnings: 18+, smut, cursing, bad puns from jin, numerous health-code violations (from fraternizing all up in that kitchen), oral (m + f receiving), protected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it, folks), workplace romance, threats of violence from yoongi

⇥ beta'd by the amazing @shadowsremedy​ (thank you, heath! could not have done this without you, your feedback, and your general support!)

“Will you marry me?”

I screech to a halt, completely astounded at the goddamned audacity of the man kneeling before me. Did he really just ask that? At a time like this?

I shift my weight from one foot to the other as I try not to outwardly show my disgust over the scene unfolding before my very eyes.

“Oh my god, Chad!” The date of this Chad finally launches herself from her seat and into his arms, “Yes!”

The restaurant breaks into applause. My forehead breaks into a sweat.

My left arm feels like it might snap at any moment under the weight of the tray of food that I’m meant to be serving this goddamn theatrical couple. The thought of quitting crosses my mind for the umpteenth time that evening.

A camera flash temporarily stuns me, and I feel a tiny twinge of satisfaction. My looming presence in that commemorative photo will hopefully be a reminder to let servers do their damn job before launching into a whole ordeal.

God, I must have been off my fucking rocker when I agreed to work the Valentine’s Day dinner shift. At least the tip money would be worth it.

Gritting my teeth, I flash my best fake smile and offer words of congratulations to the sniffling couple who finally reclaimed their seats.

“Enjoy your meal,” my mouth says with a smile.

“I wish I could sear you like that filet mignon you ordered, Chad,” my glare says with promise.

Thirty seconds later, I’m in full whisper-rant mode at the corner server station. My friend and fellow server Tabby half-listens as she punches in an order at the kiosk.

“And then this Chad in his fucking khaki suit flails to the ground to pop the question like he didn’t see me walking towards them with all seven entrees they ordered. So then I’m stuck hovering over their table with a giant-ass tray of food while they cry and hug and kiss until, finally, finally, they park it back in their seats so I can serve them.”

I groan, hitting my head against the wall, “What did I do in a past life to deserve this?”

“Kill someone, probably,” a voice pipes up from behind the station’s kitchen window, “Oh wait, you would do that in this life, too.”

Kim Seokjin, head chef of Bangtan Bistro and my partial employer, is leaning over the window’s counter, eyes full of mischief as he watches me.

“Oh, what’s this? Are you volunteering to be my very first victim?” I mirror his position leaning over the window’s counter and give him my best side-eye, “I’ll send you my application for victims on Google Docs.”

“Sounds kinky,” Seokjin grins, “Count me in. My Gmail username is Hugh Chefner. No capitals or spaces.”

“I despise you,” I say biting back a smile.

“You lo-o-ove me!” He sings, heading back into the depths of the hectic kitchen.

And, unfortunately, he’s right. Damn Kim Seokjin and his insane level of gorgeousness, charisma, and dramatics.

Against my better judgment, Seokjin has shimmied his chaotic self right into my well-guarded heart. Despite all of the prickliness my typical demeanor displays, I can’t help but melt under the warm gaze of such a handsome man.

Seokjin is the first person that has ever been able to pique my interest lately and keep it. Yes, it might have something to do with his extreme attractiveness; but, it more-so has everything to do with his genuine kindness and weird sense of humor.

Shit, I’ve gone soft. If we’re arguing Nature vs. Nurture here, this is totally Nurture’s fault.

Bangtan Bistro is co-owned by seven men - each as fine as the next. Being surrounded by good-looking and kind-hearted men day in and day out will definitely fuck with your brain, your body, and eventually even your fucking heart.

Kim Namjoon, a tall, dimpled sweetheart of a man, acts as general manager. Namjoon typically resides in the back office of the restaurant running numbers and going over other business ventures. He used to frequent the front of the restaurant to check on customers, but Jimin has since banned him from that activity after the infamous Spaghetti Incident of 2019.

Park Jimin, as the overseer of staff and servers, commands the restaurant floor with a crinkly-eyed smile and a ferocious temper. Fortunately for his direct subordinates (READ: me), his temper is most likely to be focused on rude customers and his messy business partners. Jimin honestly is the ideal boss because he has our backs and will never hesitate to help anyone out.

Late one Saturday evening, a man refused to leave the restaurant after being cut off from his bar tab. Jimin full-on squared up with him in defense of the poor server who had to break the news to the drunk patron. Luckily, the Bistro’s head of security, Jeon Jungkook, took over before Jimin actually popped off.

Jungkook, as the youngest partner, is shockingly tall and muscular. He definitely provides the intimidation needed for those types of escalating incidents. Despite his tough exterior, Jungkook is a complete softie.

I once caught Jungkook in the kitchen after close attempting to make cookies for a girl he had a crush on. I walked in to see Jungkook standing over a tray of the unidentifiable charred monstrosities and pouting in the most ridiculous way. Needless to say, I helped him bake a new batch with the oven not turned up to 500 degrees so that “they would cook faster”.

Min Yoongi had found the pair of us bickering and had just rolled his eyes and scooped a mouthful of raw cookie dough. As the head bartender, Yoongi is the absolute best at mixing drinks and the absolute worst at customer service. I swear the man gets far too much pleasure from getting people thrown out. He’s also notorious for watering down the drinks of customers he doesn’t like. He’s petty like that. I live for it.

Once, Jung Hoseok tried to take a picture of Yoongi for the restaurant’s website, and Yoongi threatened to shove a sharpened cocktail umbrella through Hoseok’s eye. I had never seen the Bistro’s head of marketing and resident sunshine flee so fast. Hoseok later ended up using an old picture of Yoongi in retaliation; rumor has it Yoongi is still plotting his revenge to this day.

Kim Taehyung often grumbles about how he’s going to be put out of a job since the restaurant naturally provides daily entertainment. As the head of entertainment and events, Taehyung helps to secure live music and special guests. He’s also the most handsome man I have ever seen - with the exception of one Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin, as head chef, is responsible for planning the seasonal menus, overseeing the kitchen staff, and preparing the more challenging dishes. He’s even taken it upon himself to be the resident comedian, which the other six partners vehemently and openly detest. Still, that backlash has not stopped him from naming each evening special with puns. His last Seokjin Special was called “Chicken Pot Bye Felicia”. It had resulted in Yoongi banning Seokjin from the restaurant for a full week. He still hasn’t dared to make another pun, but I can tell it will only be a matter of time.

Basically, Seokjin is an entirely goofy and beautiful mess of a human. Yet, I can’t stop myself from falling deeper and deeper into the trap that is loving someone outside of your league.

When I first arrived at the Bistro for my inaugural shift, I was greeted enthusiastically by Jimin, who I’d met previously in my interview. Jimin had introduced me to each of his partners - each as handsome as the last. Honestly, my eyes and nerves had been exhausted after meeting almost all of them. Then Jimin had ushered me into the kitchen.

“Hey, Jin-hyung!” Jimin had yelled over the cacophony of sizzling pans and murmured conversation. I had watched in awe as the hottest man I’ve ever seen entered my line of vision and stopped before me. Tall and broad-shouldered, he had a face that could inspire priceless works of art with full pink lips, high cheekbones, and devilish dark eyes.

“You summoned me, Jiminie?” The man had laughed in a slightly squeaky manner before he noticed my presence, “Ah, who might this be?”

I had cleared my throat in hopes that my voice wouldn’t crack under the sheer weight of this man’s attractiveness, “Hi, I’m (y/n). I’m starting today as a server.” and thrust my hand out with a shy smile.

He had blinked. Slowly, a smirk eased onto his face as he grabbed my hand. Instead of shaking it, he had brought it to his lips. “A pleasure. I’m Seokjin,” he had murmured, lips brushing against my knuckles. My cheeks had felt like they were on fire as Jimin screeched at Seokjin for harassing me.

“It’s her first day, Jin! Lay off the theatrics,” Jimin had turned to me, “Sorry about him, (y/n). He’s a desperate flirt.”

“Desperate? Me?” Seokjin gasped, “Worldwide Handsome does not do desperate.”

“Did you just refer to yourself as ‘Worldwide Handsome’?” I had gaped at his open arrogance.

Seokjin proudly had puffed up his chest, “Yes. What else could I possibly be called?”

“Well, definitely not Worldwide Humble,” My mouth had said before my brain caught up.

The room had seemed to pause before Jimin erupted in peals of laughter as Seokjin spluttered, “Yah, Jiminie, you can’t let her talk to me like that!”

Still laughing, Jimin had choked out, “(y/n), you officially have a job here until you die.”

Ever since that first encounter, Seokjin and I have established a working relationship based on banter or what Tabby refers to as ‘flirting’. I refuse to believe that ridiculous notion.

Tabby finally finishes entering her order into the kiosk and turns to me, “So, any hot plans for tonight?” Her eyebrows wiggle up and down suggestively.

“Does solo Netflix and chill count as hot plans?” I deadpan as I peer around the server station divider to covertly check on my tables. I lock eyes on Chad and his fiancé, who already seem to be arguing, and I make an executive decision to not go check how their meal is going.

“No!” Tabby’s whisper-yell commands my attention, “That definitely does not count, (y/n). Why didn’t you find someone on Tinder? I even made you that bomb-ass profile.”

I pointedly look everywhere but at her.

“You deleted the app, didn’t you,” she glares at me, arms folded, “I slaved over that profile! There were only so many tasteful cleavage shots of my best friend that I could stomach in one sitting!”

“What the fuck, Tabby! Since when do I have any—”

“Tasteful cleavage shots?” Seokjin’s elated voice practically shouts from the kitchen, “Let me at ‘em.”

His hands launch towards us through the kitchen window and make grabbing motions.

“Seokjin,” I tsk mockingly, “Are you trying to grab my tits again?”

“Again?” Tabby cries, whirling on Seokjin, who looks at us in horror.

“I wasn’t! I swear! I just wanted to see the pictures! I didn’t want to grab your boobs…” He trails off, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like ‘not any more than usual, anyway’.

“Seokjin-hyung! (y/n)!” Jimin blazes into the service station, “I’ve had it up to here with your bickering. You’re both on closing duties tonight - alone.”

“What?” I exclaim as Tabby slinks away. Traitor. “We’re just joking with each other! Right, Seokjin?”

Jimin’s gaze swings from me to Seokjin, who is suddenly suspiciously calm. My eyes narrow. A silent conversation is definitely happening without my participation.

Finally, Seokjin just shrugs with a grin, “Sounds fair to me, Jiminie! (y/n) and I will work hard all night if we have to.”

“Fair?” I choke, “All night?”

Jimin, following Tabby’s lead, scurries away as my attention is diverted by Seokjin’s idiocy. “Scared to be alone with me, (y/n)?” Seokjin’s lips break into a sly smile, “Don’t worry, I don’t bite… much.”

With that parting remark, Seokjin winks at me and disappears back into the kitchen.

“Fuck me,” I breathe out. How would I survive this?

Five hours later, the last patron has been ushered out of the restaurant with the staff right on their heels. I curse as Yoongi waltzes out the door, fanning himself with a crisp fifty-dollar bill and winking obnoxiously. “Have fun!” He cackles, locking the restaurant doors behind him.

“No, please don’t offer to stay and help,” I grumble, sweeping stray pieces of lettuce out from under a table, “I am more than happy to stay here until the ass-crack of dawn with the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.”

“The biggest, huh?” The voice chuckles right in my ear, “How did you know?”

“Goddamnit, Seokjin!” I slap a hand to my heart, “Don’t sneak up on me like that, you oaf!”

Whirling to face him, I stutter to a halt. He’s taken off his heavy chef’s coat and is now left in a tight black t-shirt that clings to his body in a manner that has to be illegal.

I swallow hard, and for a split second, I swear Seokjin’s gaze latches onto my throat.

“Is it hot in here?” I mutter distractedly, tugging at the collar of my stiff white button-down.

“Yes,” Seokjin practically purrs, “It’s scorching.”

Choosing not to acknowledge him, I spin on my heels, grabbing the full dustpan of debris I collected and head towards the back of the restaurant.

Emptying the dustpan in the trash, I walk over to the supply closet to return the broom. The restaurant floor is finished. Now, I just had to see how much of the kitchen Seokjin actually cleaned.

Pushing through the swinging doors of the kitchen, I screech to a halt as I’m faced with a complete and utter miracle.

“What in tarnation?” I gasp, taking in the pristine kitchen full of glistening stainless steel and sparkling countertops. “Kim Seokjin!” I yell, “You damn wizard! How the fuck did you clean everything this fast?”

“You could say I was motivated,” his reply sounds entirely too close. I spin to face him and gape as I notice the bouquet of red roses that he’s holding out to me.

Taking in my speechless appearance, Seokjin smiles smugly and opens his mouth to continue.

I cut him off, “Tell me those aren’t the roses from the fucking table centerpieces... I threw those in the trash, Seokjin!”

His ears turn an alarming shade of magenta, “Yah, just accept the gesture, (y/n)! This is peak romance, you know!”

“They are covered in filth, dude!” I squint, peering closer, “Is that a piece of spaghetti in there?”

Seokjin yeets the makeshift bouquet back into the garbage, “Why can’t you just appreciate my efforts?” He pouts excessively, “Don’t you like me?”

Red alert. Red alert, my mind whirs.

“Sure,” I let out a nervous laugh, “We’re friends. Of course, I like you.”

He steps towards me, “Sure, we’re friends, (y/n), but friends don’t usually want to fuck each other.”

That bitch said what now?

“Did you inhale too much Clorox?” I panic, “Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?” Thrusting three fingers in front of Seokjin’s amused face, I widen my eyes as he suddenly grabs my hand.

“Baby,” he says lowly, sending a delicious shiver down my spine, “If you keep being so adorable, I may just have to keep you.”

Well, shit, okay. “Say less,” I breathe and then immediately slam my mouth shut.

I receive a classic Seokjin grin in return for my idiocy, and my knees shake. Honestly, who the fuck allowed him to be that devastating?

Slowly, his grin slips away, and his eyes ignite with raw desire, “Tell me what you want from me, (y/n).”

My mind short circuits, automatically reverting to my default mode of sass, “Uh, peace and quiet?”

“Really?” Seokjin murmurs, stepping even closer still, “So you don’t want me to kiss you? You don’t want me to turn you over and fuck you until you scream?”

My breathing is ragged. His eyes burn with a hunger I had never seen before, and I’m crumbling.

“Answer me,” Jin demands, desperation seeped in each word, “Please.”

“Seokjin—” I gasp, dumbfounded, “Where the hell is this coming from? We’re coworkers! You’re my boss!”

His eyes flashed darkly as he moved his head closer to mine, “That’s all irrelevant, baby.”

“Irrelevant—!” I stab a finger into his firm chest, “Oh, you little shit, you can’t just say that you want to fuck me and then say that our working relationship is irrelevant! I could get fired. You could get fired!”

“That’s highly unlikely given the fact that everyone else knows my plans to ask you out right now.”

“Hold on a second,” I narrow my eyes, “Are you saying that you purposefully planned for us to stay late tonight to clean the entire goddamn restaurant just so you could ask me out? Are you fucking insane?”

“I prefer the term ‘quirky’,” he quips, “But, yeah, I may have paid everyone $50 to leave us alone for the night.”

“Well, that explains Yoongi… that shady motherfucker,” I internally make note to plot my vengeance. “Why couldn’t you have just slid in my DMs like a normal person, Seokjin?” I groan, “I would have responded to a ‘you up’ with a ‘yes, come over’.”

Seokjin whips out his cell phone. “Does this apply to right now?” he asks, typing furiously.

My phone dings with several Instagram notifications.

hughchefner: u up

hughchefner: wyd

hughchefner: date me?

(y/n): bet

Seokjin’s eyes shoot up to mine after he reads my response, “Really? You agreed to date me by saying ‘bet’ in an Instagram DM?”

“Yup,” I shrug, “No take-backs. Also, to answer your previous questions: Yes, I do want you to kiss me with your insufferable mouth, and, yes, I do want to sit on your dick. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Say less,” Seokjin echoes my earlier statement and captures my mouth with his. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him back with equal fervor.

“(Y/n),” he groans right as my tongue swipes teasingly against his lower lip.

His hands slid down my body, pausing only to squeeze my waist gently before settling firmly on my ass. His fingers dig in hard and I let out an embarrassingly loud moan.

“You like that, baby? You like when I’m rough?” Seokjin pulls his lips off mine and murmurs sinfully, “God, I want to devour you.”

I lift my chin up and challenge, “Do it, you won’t.”

His eyes flare, “Oh, babygirl, you were made for me.” Seokjin’s lips return to mine, moving at a slow but ravenous pace.

Still kissing me, he picks me up and places me on one of the kitchen’s stainless steel counters. His hands grab my thighs, tugging them apart to make room for him to stand between them. A harsh groan rises from the depths of his chest as our bodies align.

I hook one leg around his waist and tug him closer still. Pulling my lips away, I lean my head back as I slowly trace his muscles through his shirt. He watches me with his puffy lips parted, his breathing hard. His eyes are wild and I’m loving every second of it.

The room suddenly feels too hot. My hands dart up to shakily begin undoing the buttons of my shirt. Seokjin’s eyes follow my movements with fascination. “Let me,” he purrs and proceeds to rip my shirt from my body. Buttons scatter on the floor with sorrowful little bounces.

“You bitch,” I yank his hair, “That was my good work shirt.”

“I’ll buy you ten more,” Seokjin’s voice is rough and full of desire as he takes in my lacy white bra. Suddenly, his mouth descends to suck at my nipple through the thin lace.

“Damn, you are so fucking sexy,” he pulls his mouth away, “Can I take this off?”

I nod like a bobblehead in 60mph winds, reaching around my back with one hand to undo the clasp and then throwing my bra clear across the kitchen. It lands on top of one of the fridges and I shrug. I’d retrieve it later.

Seokjin tugs off his own shirt, revealing planes of tanned skin. I don’t hesitate to run my hands up and down the definition of his abs and watch in fascination as his muscles constrict under my touch. I run my hands lower, tracing his defined v-line.

No wonder they call it the Adonis belt, I muse, pondering if he’d let me lick it.

Huffing in impatience at my slow exploration, Seokjin returns his mouth to my nipple and sucks hard. My eyes nearly roll into the back of my head. He bites down gently and then blows on my nipple slowly. I moan at the sensation. I watch him through unfocused eyes as his hand slides down the front of my body. He reaches the button of my pants and pauses.

Seokjin pulls his mouth away from my nipple, his lips swollen and pink. “You have to say yes, baby.” His breath hits my ear, making me shiver.

I hold out my hand for a high-five and declare, “We stan a man who asks for clear consent.” Chuckling, Seokjin slaps my offered hand and then links his fingers with mine.

“Also,” I continue, looking into his eyes, “It’s a fuck yes.” I pull our linked fingers close to place a kiss on his knuckles.

“Cute,” he grins, “Now, can I take off your pants?”

“Take off yours first,” I order.

“So eager,” he laughs, making quick work of his black jeans. My mouth instantly waters at the sight of his hard cock straining to be released from the confines of his bright red Versace boxer briefs.

“Why am I not surprised that even your underwear is extra?” I mumble, flicking the button of my pants open.

Laughing, Seokjin takes over, tugging my pants down my legs. He then pushes my matching white lace panties aside and cups my pussy, applying pressure. I roll my hips into his hand.

His fingers trace lightly up and down my pussy, before one dips inside me. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he groans.

“Always,” I breathe out. Suddenly, he pulls his hand away from me. I pout. Seokjin laughs at my expression and then licks his finger.

“Jesus fuck, (y/n), you taste so sweet. Let me eat you out,” he pleads.

I smirk, saying, “I thought you’d never ask,” and then gasp as he kneels before me, grabbing my hips. Seokjin moves to tear my underwear off, and I’m quick to place my foot on his forehead to stop his approach. “I swear to god, Seokjin, if you rip these, I will get Namjoon to permanently ban Seokjin Specials.”

“You’re evil,” he grins, “I love it.” He makes a show of slowly taking my panties off before throwing them carelessly behind him. He then yanks the same leg I had used to thwart his panty-tearing plans and throws it over his shoulder before returning his fingers to my pussy. Seokjin’s thumb circles my clit while two of his fingers thrust into me at a maddening rate.

My fingers grip his hair when I finally feel his tongue licking up the juices that have started to run down my thighs.

After sucking what will probably become a massive hickey onto my left inner thigh, his tongue licks a path straight up my folds until it circles around my clit maddeningly. “Goddamnit, Seokjin, stop teasing,” my voice cracks in desperation, but my plea works. His tongue flicks at my clit lightly before his lips close over it and suck.

“Fuck,” I moan, “I think I like you eating me out more than I like eating your cooking.”

He pulls back to briefly land a light swat on my pussy and I choke on air as painful pleasure shoots through me. “Take that back,” he growls, “My cooking is second only to my handsome face.”

“God, I fucking hate you,” I drawl. The emphasis in my words portrays the exact opposite.

Seokjin sends me a shit-eating grin before his tongue returns to lick at my swollen clit, up and down, and then in a slow circle. His fingers brush open my folds just enough for him to sink his tongue into me. “O-oh,” I throw my head back, one hand moving up to pinch one of my nipples while the other latches back into Seokjin’s hair.

“I’m s-so close, baby,” my words slur as I shamelessly beg, “Don’t stop.”

He immediately pulls away.

“Oh, fuck you,” I seethe. I yank his head back by his hair until his neck is stretched in a long line. His hair is a mess, and I’ve never seen anything hotter.

“I just want to feel you come when I’m inside you, baby,” he smiles, my wetness glistening on his lips.

“Fine,” I shimmy off of the counter onto shaky legs, “Two can play at that game.”

“What?” Seokjin’s brows furrow in confusion.

It’s my turn to drop to my knees. “Oh, shit,” he curses as I tug his boxers down to reveal his hard cock. It’s silky and gorgeous, and I can’t stop staring at it. Seokjin, of course, notices. “You like my cock, babygirl? Take it. It’s yours.”

It already was, I think, as my gaze darts up to meet his.

Without breaking eye contact, I lick his reddened tip, almost moaning at his taste. “Fuck, babygirl,” Seokjin throws his head back. I smile wickedly. I could definitely get addicted to ruining this beautiful boy. “Look at me,” I command, feeling so powerful when he immediately listens.

Slowly, I suck down on his length, hollowing out my cheeks. My eyes stay on his as he groans, and I can tell he’s straining to keep from thrusting into my mouth.

“Please, baby, fuck—!” He moans as I swallow around him and then release him from my mouth with a pop. My hand darts up to grip him tightly, pumping him. Moving slowly, I suck one of his balls into my mouth, rolling my tongue around it gently. Seokjin chokes, “Fuck me.”

“We’ll get there, baby,” I tug my mouth away and grin up at him.

I suck him as far down as I can. His control snaps and he begins to thrust wildly into my mouth, panting.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” his eyes scrunch up as he chants, “I’m gonna come.”

I release him ruthlessly.

“Goddamnit,” he cries, “I knew that was coming, but it still hurts.”

“Well,” I wiggle my eyebrows at him, “If only you had a pretty little pussy ready for you to fuck… Oh, wait.”

Seokjin chuckles, “I see I wasn’t able to fuck some of the sass out of that mouth. We might have to try that again later.”

“Gladly,” I grin back at him, “You have a condom?”

Seokjin picks up his discarded jeans from the floor and digs around in the back pockets. “Aha!” He yells, hoisting up the glimmering gold foil in triumph.

I roll my eyes before snatching the condom from the idiot. Tearing the foil packaging open with my teeth, I grab Seokjin’s length and pump him a few times in preparation.

“Stop being a tease,” he mumbles, thrusting shallowly into my hand.

“Stop being so hot,” I challenge, leaning down to lick his pre-cum dripping from the reddened tip of his cock.

“Impossible,” Seokjin smirks before tugging me back up to face him.

He drops his lips to mine and sucks on my bottom lip. Pulling away slightly, he tugs at it in a stinging bite. Withdrawing his mouth from mine, he spins me around and bends me over the counter.

I feel the head of his cock running teasingly over the folds of my pussy and I gasp, “Please, baby, I need you inside me.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He thrusts into me in one sharp movement. We both gasp as he fills me, gliding in and out.

“Harder,” I moan.

“Fuck,” he mutters, “I’m trying to last over here.”

“Why? We have all night,” I pout before an idea pops into my head, and I taunt, “Wait, are you telling me you’re a one and done type of old man?”

“Oh, you’re going to regret that,” Seokjin mutters darkly.

His hard cock fills and stretches me, pleasure emanating within me from every sharp thrust of his hips.

“Your pussy is mine,” he growls, “I’ll fuck you from against the wall after this. I’ll fuck you until you can’t sass me anymore. And I’ll fuck you all night, baby, and every night after that.”

I clench around him as his dirty words wash over me. “Those are all great ideas in theory,” I gasp out, “But I really want to ride you first.”

“Oh, babygirl wants to fuck herself on my cock?” Seokjin slaps my ass before pulling out, “Well, come on.”

I stand upright and turn to see him walking towards the large island in the middle of the room. He hops onto it and lays down, placing one arm behind his head, and the other one slowly strokes his cock.

“You better get that hand off your cock before I decide to never let you into my pussy again,” I say darkly as I move towards him.

His hand flies off his dick at the speed of light, his eyes wide as they focus on me.

When I get close enough, I climb up onto the island and kneel with one leg on each side of his tapered waist. I slowly sink down so that just his tip is inside me and squeeze.

A garbled moan escapes Seokjin, his hands shooting out to grab my waist in an attempt to push me down further.

“Someone’s eager,” I whisper, bending down to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’ve been fucking eager since you were hired.” He smacks my ass and then groans as I reflexively sink down another inch.

“Yeah?” I question, sinking down another inch as his eyes squeeze shut, “You should have said something sooner, baby. I could have been riding you hard for months.”

Seokjin pouts, “Well, there’s no time like the present?”

“God, you’re such a dweeb,” I grin before taking him to the hilt. We both let out strangled breaths as I shift slightly, before placing a hand on his neck.

Keeping my hand there, I lift up and begin riding him hard. My body slides up and down onto his cock at a fast pace. Sweat drips down my back. Seokjin grabs my ass, his fingers gripping my skin, and pounds up into my pussy with brutal and possessive force.

“O-oh, fuck.” There’s something about riding Seokjin that just feels so good. My hips swivel and roll against his. The pleasure steadily builds, and I try to distract myself by biting down on Seokjin’s neck.

“I’m gonna come,” he moans, “Are you close?”

I pull away from his neck and sit up, arching my back to give him a deeper angle. He thrusts up into my g-spot and I gasp, “Shit, yes, I’m close. Come with me, baby.”

I clench my walls around him. Seokjin’s eyes are scrunched shut as he continues to pound into me with harsh strokes.

He shifts one hand from my ass to gently circle my aching clit, and I light up. My walls clench and pulse, locking down on Seokjin so tight that he comes, his hot seed filling the condom as he shudders.

I collapse against him and shove my face into his sweaty neck.

I can feel his laugh bubbling up from his chest before I hear it. “What’s so funny?” I ask, lips brushing his skin.

“Namjoon’s going to kill us for the number of health code violations we just committed,” his laughter causes his cock to shift within me, and I bite back a moan.

“Well,” I lift my face up from his neck to look at him, “We have nothing to lose at this point then, huh?”

I slowly lick my lips, and his eyes drop to them. The only noise left in the restaurant is our heavy breathing. “Round two in Namjoon’s office?” he suggests.

“Bet.”

a/n: this was so fun to write :) hope you all enjoyed it! happy valentine’s day!

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

Can we get a fic of Everyone's first reaction to snowflake?

“Everyone was used to supernatural bullshit and as the toons already existed for several years now, they already knew that the Ink could create life. So while there was a bit of shock for some at the thought of the Janitor being the new father of a toon of his own, they mostly congratulated Wally on his new son and/or gave him parenting advice.”

...Sorry, this feels like a cop out, so we just gotta throw a child into a different dimension for kicks and giggles and character development.

Knowing the magic user's history with this kind of thing, Snowflake couldn't help but feel nervous when he saw Joey painting a large circle on the wall and intricate symbols within the said circle.

"G-grandpa Joey, what are you doing?"

"Opening a portal to a different dimension." The animator replied nonchalantly. "An important key ingredient for several reversal spells no longer seems to exist in this one, so I'm getting more from the closest one that has a lot of it before the Ink starts acting up again."

"Oh?" The little devil looked intrigued, the last time a visitor from another dimension came to their own, he was strange, but friendly! And wondered what the rest of that dimension, or other ones like it were like. "Can I come? I-I'll be good I promise!"

"Well..." Joey brushed his mustache in thought as the portal started to open. "Other dimensions can be quite unpredictable, especially ones where magic is much more secretive than it is in our own, I don't think the studio on the other side even has living toons yet!" The animator fidgeted with his collar. "And given the track record other Joeys have with their own studios and magic, I don't think it's smart for me to take you..."

"Pleeeeeaaaaasse!" the imp begged. "I promise that I'll stay close and not run off! ...unless it's an emergency."

"Hmm..."

The magic user narrowed his eyebrows and continued to stroke his mustache as he thought about the potential consequences for bringing Snowflake along. The thought of a distraught Wally discovering that he had taken his son somewhere dangerous and the kid got hurt as a result had made the man immune to the imp's otherwise irresistible puppy eyes, but the Ink behind the imp slowly rising from a puddle to a featureless figure that was making threatening gestures made him quickly realize that the consequences for NOT bringing Snowflake along might be even worse than taking him.

"Okay."

"Yay!" the little devil cheered, taking Joey by the hand and pulling him through the portal. "C'mon! Let's go see what other dad's like!"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," the old man gave a sharp tug on the speckled imp as he tried to run off and knelt down to be closer to his eye level. "This is *just* a last-resort errand run, nothing more, nothing less. Now that we're here, we are going to find the ingredient, get it and get out. Ideally, we won't even come across our alternate selves, let alone speak to them!"

"Why?"

Joey looked around nervously before bringing his voice down to a whisper and gestured for Snowflake to do the same.

"Because of the butterfly effect we'll bring here! How do you think the Wally on this side will react when you tell him you're his son from a different dimension when where he's from, magic is genuinely not real for him?"

"...He'll freak out?"

"Yes! Not only will he freak out but he'll probably tell everyone he knows! Including this world's Joey, who judging by his nickname; "That shi- shoot heel puppeteer", is the last person who needs to know about magic, let alone how to use it..."

"Oh. Yeah, that doesn't sound good..." the imp agreed as he suddenly regretted his decision. "Do you think it's too late to throw me back-"

The pair gazed at the now blank spot on the wall where they came from.

"...Unfortunately yes, so stay close and put on a disguise."

"I-I didn't bring one..." the imp sheepishly responded. "...Sorry, I got too caught up in the excitement."

Joey sighed deeply as he took off his glasses and sweater vest, putting them on the kid toon instead.

"It's not the best, but it'll do for now as long as we don't stick around long enough for them to see past it, so let's hurry out of here!"

Snowflake nodded and guided Joey as he tried to navigate the similar-yet different studio. (The man did not wear glasses for the sake of aesthetic.)

The layout seemed similar enough, but there were less pipes running through the building, the colors were duller, the stale smell of tobacco, old coffee, sweat, and a coppery-earthy scent that reminded Joey of blood but wasn't quite similar enough for him to call it that lingered in every single room they entered, the employees that they passed might as well have been reanimated corpses with how drained of energy they looked, all of them didn't even so much as acknowledge the pair's presence.

That was, until, an unfamiliar-looking yet familiar sounding janitor took notice. The man didn't look like Snowflake's dad, he was a lanky fellow and wore the same hat that his own father wore to work, but the similarities in appearance stopped right there. This world's Wally had shaggy, dark brown hair, eyes so dark that they looked black, a crooked nose, and when he smiled at them, Snowflake could clearly see that the man was missing a tooth.

"Hey, how'd you two get in 'ere?"

Joey cursed under his breath before answering the other Wally.

"Well, I was just-"

The dimension-traveling duo suddenly felt dozens of angry eyes on them, which had melted into confusion and mild intriguement as they realized that the man who spoke looked more like a kindly grandpa with an odd-looking Bendy doll with him instead of their sleazy boss. The pair of outsiders were afraid they fucked everything up before to the relief of the pair and the horror to everybody else, they heard the voice of Sammy in the other room shouting "God dammit Joey! I told you time and time again to stay out of the music department!" followed by the revving of a chainsaw.

The animator was quick to realize his mistake as he cleared his throat and did his best 'sounds like a normal voice but isn't MY normal voice' voice.

"-I was just looking for a herbal shop nearby but got turned around. If one of you fine folks could give my grandson and I directions, we'll happily get out of your hair."

Wally frowned in confusion as he looked at the very obviously not-human creature who smiled meekly at him and waved. He shrugged off the mild weirdness as he remembered that he did know where an herbal shop was.

"Dat's all? No problem! Herbal shop's right next to a really good burgah joint, has a statue of a knight wranglin' a unicorn right outside da place, ya can't miss it, an' by extension, ya can't miss da herbal shop eithah."

"Why thank you, you're too kind..."

"Oh and uh, Sorry if da musicians 'ere freaked ya out." The janitor adjusted his hat, it now covered the man's eyes. "Our music director recently got re-hirahed but nobody's willin' ta forgive da boss ova what he put him through, not dat I blame 'em, I get jitteahs every time I think about it happenin' ta me too!"

Joey nodded sympathetically as he reached for his companion's hand and internally panicked as he couldn't find it.

---

Snowflake ran off, the eyes on his back and by proxy, the pressure of knowing that the fate of this world and his own was on his back was far too intense. In his mad rush, he had only made his situation worse with everywhere he ran as he had lost Joey's glasses on accident, which was a vital part of the disguise.

"Holy sheit! is that a bloody livin' toy?!"

"What in the goddamn... Bertrum! Come look! You gotta see this!"

"My word! What has Drew done?"

"Okay, this time I'm finally going to quit for real! I swear, these hallucinations are just getting worse every time I come into work!"

"It... it worked! Tom, look!"

"Or at least, this one looks better than the first model- Hey! Get back here!"

It was terrifying thinking about how these alternate versions of the people he knew and grew to love, ones who shared their voices and careers, but not appearances, memories, and experiences could very well be his enemies. Most chilling of all, he heard Joey's voice in the crowd.

"Well done Tommy! At least this one looked halfway presentable!"

He shuddered at the thought of that Joey getting his hands on him. He didn't even know where he ran off to, only that he had to escape from them, he then squeezed himself into a small crack in the wall, an easy feat for a boneless ink creature, not so much for anything else.

His heart pounded loudly against his chest, the little imp tried to hush it, and prayed that the noise wouldn’t give him away he just needed to calm down. But his prayers went unanswered as the 'click-clack' of a pair of high heels passed by, and a woman crouched down, possibly hearing him.

“Now how on earth did you manage to wedge yourself in there, little guy?”

He recognized that voice all right, he scooched deeper into his hiding spot, hoping she’d leave him alone. The woman, the Susie Campbell of this world judging by her voice, might’ve looked at him with concern, but something about her just felt… wrong to him. He knew of alternate realities, good ones, bad ones, and downright weird ones, but this one felt uncanny to him and he just wanted to go home, it wasn't outright worse than most dimensions, but it seemed so bleak and miserable.

Hopefully he was wrong, but as of right now, it felt like this was a world that wouldn't even so much as bat an eye at its own destruction.

"I-I shouldn't have asked in the f-first place..." he muttered to himself. "I s-should've j-just left Joey to do his errand and s-stayed out of it..."

"Hey," the woman gently knocked on the wall, all the imp could see of her was her face, a face that looked mostly normal except for her left eye, which looked glassy and didn't look at him like her right eye did. "Are you okay in there?"

Snowflake stayed quiet.

"Oh no..." the woman muttered to herself. "Don't panic, I'll go get help!"

She said as she left, but her words didn't make the little guy feel any better.

He slowly crawled out of his hiding spot, ready to hunt down another one while fighting off the guilt that came with making the other Susie worry about him, while her eye was weird, she seemed just as nice as the one from his own dimension.

What seemed less nice however, was the sudden cold, yet firm grip on his shoulder.

"You know, it's very rude ta ignore folks who's just tryin' ta help you."

"Eep!"

The imp spun around to face a man with a familiar voice, he was a tall, dark-skinned, older man with an eye patch on his right eye, had a thin frame, and attire that vaguely reminded Snowflake of a comic about a western vampire hunter that Buddy showed him.

"Awfully jumpy, aren't ya, kiddo?" Norman chuckled as he knelt down to his eye level. "I get that a lot from people. But in all seriousness, we can't just have yous wanderin' around wherever you please, this here studio's a dang deathtrap, even on the best of days."

"S-sorry Norman..." Snowflake adjusted Joey's sweater vest as a realization dawned on him: judging by the studio workers' lack of a surprised reaction to him, this world might be more magical than his own world's Joey assumed. "Hey, wait a minute, are toons real h-here too? Can I find Bendy, Alice and Boris around here?"

Norman raised an eyebrow in confusion, but thankfully for the imp's sake, he stayed calm.

"Mr. Drew's tryin' but he ain't got a dang thing ta show for it. Although, I'm kinda hoping he can't, it doesn't sit too right with me. Just call it a gut feelin', but I don't trust that anythin' good will come from him messing with things like that."

"Y-yeah..." Snowflake nodded. "I've been here for less than f-fifteen minutes and I think I can see exactly what you mean. This place's Joey seems so much worse than my Joey."

"Sorry ta hear that little guy..." Norman knelt down to the little demon. "So, would ya mind ta tell me about this 'other Joey?"

"Oh, sure thing!"

---

True to her word, when Susie returned, she brought over three people; Wally, Joey who was now wearing his slightly broken glasses (Who Snowflake was relieved to see), and a shirtless, long-haired man with a chainsaw in his hands.

He was tall and broad, had dark brown hair and tan skin, his eyes were a stormy gray, and they were sharp with a steadfast determination that made Snowflake feel nervous, the little imp felt like there was something deeply terrifying about this man, and not just because he was currently carrying a dangerous weapon. Although, he couldn't deny that he felt a sense of familiarity with this man that he had not felt with the others in this dimension.

Snowflake felt like he's met this man before.

"Alright, and he should be right here..." The voice actress trailed off as she saw the timid devil shyly wave at her, very much freed from his wall prison and seemed to be chatting with her favorite projectionist. "Oh! Hi Norman! Thanks for getting him out for us and keeping him company!"

"It was no problem, the kid wasn't half bad company."

"Ya know kid, we're glad ta see ya okay, but your grandpops and I was lookin' everywhere for you! Not gonna lie, ya gave us both a scare when ya ran off alone like dat."

"The fuck is that thing?"

"Sammy!" The woman elbowed the shirtless man in the ribs. "Be nice!"

"Alright..." The man rolled his eyes and gave a forced smile that showed off black gums and yellowish-grayish teeth that creeped Snowflake out (the smile itself, not the man's gums or teeth, judging by his smell, he was an avid smoker and it was at least normal for him to have a mouth like that, the smile however... he doesn't think a man's smile should be that wide.). As he lifted the little devil up by the shirt like a scruffed kitten, he presented him to Joey. "Now then, is this your lost little lamb?"

"Yes." Joey reached for the imp. "Please don't hold him like that."

"Nearest exit is down the hall, take a right turn when you reach the giant broken pipe that's leaking everywhere and hasn't been touched for at least a week." The man gestured fluidly as he still held up that creepy smile. "As... lovely as it was for you two to visit us and our little studio, we really should be getting back to work before Joey decides to fire and blacklist everyone in this room for loitering or something."

"Uh... thanks?" Joey suddenly snapped upright. "Wait, how are you all so calm about this?! All of you are barely even reacting over a living cartoon character right there!"

"Speaking of which do you know who doesn't need to know about that? Our boss. You claim you're not here for a meet and greet and I don't think this should turn into one. You got the information you came here for, now get what you needed from here and get out."

"Wow, you're a rather blunt fellow, aren't you?"

"You could say so."

"W-well, I-it was scary, but it was also nice meeting all of you! Maybe we should visit again later so we can know each other better!"

"Oooh! I'll look forward to it!" Susie smiled warmly. "Good luck with your ingredient hunt, boys!"

Sammy started to shove the pair down the hall as he felt they wouldn't leave otherwise.

"Yeah, yeah, goodbye and all that, see you soon, I won't forget to write... Have yourselves some happy travels! Goodbye again."

The musician led them out of the building and dusted off his hands as he returned to the others who did not look happy with him.

"That was very rude, Lawrence..." Susie scolded. "They just wanted our help!"

Wally shook his head but didn't add anything.

"And we gave it!” He hissed. “Do you really think it would be safe for them to stay and talk with the shitheel around? Especially after what he just did to us?! Do you want HIM to know that there's a different version of him who got everything he's wanted and more? What do you think he'll do to them when he finds them? Do you want to find out?"

Susie's face scrunched up in realization as the other two men uncomfortably shuffled in their spots.

"I thought so..."

"...Think they'll come back?" Norman piped up. "I kinda wanted to talk with that other Joey."

The musician shrugged.

"Do ya at least think we'll find a way ta get ta 'em ourselves?"

"Maybe? If they would a way here, I wouldn't be surprised if we could get there."

"Wanna look for a way there? Ya gotta admit you're curious what the other us are like too!"

"Hmm... Well, maybe after hours."

[youarejesting]

Key

Genre: [♤] = Angst                  [♧] = Adventure/Action  [♔] = Crack/Comedy  [♡] = Fluff  [❁] = Fantasy              [♢] = Thriller/Scary [☆] = Mature themes   [★] = Smut [➵] = Trigger warnings

Status:       [✎] = Projects             [✉] = Request   [✓] = Complete            [X] = Incomplete    [  ] = Coming soon       [∞] = On going

[Sitting in their/your lap]  ☆♤♡♔

[Saying another name]  ☆★♡♔ 

[Wearing their/your clothes]  ☆♡♔

[Fidgeting]  ☆★

[Getting your Period]  ☆

[Crying]  ♤♡♔

[Singing/rapping/dancing]

[Getting hard] ☆★

[Favorite part of you]  ☆★

[Thigh Riding]  ☆★

[Pregnancy Reveal] ☆★♡♔

[Perfect]  ♡♔

[Walking in on them]  ☆★♡♔

[Walking in on you]  ☆★♡♔

[Being walked in on together]  ☆★♡♔

[Significant other is CEO]  ♡♔♤

First time for them  ☆★♡♔

First time for you  ☆★♡♔

Honeymoon night  ☆★♡♔

Star Signs:

Star signs as [RunBTS] Star signs as [BTS songs] [Part 2]

[BTS Text Imagines]

[Bangtan Sonyeondan and the Purple Magic]

BTS go to Hogwarts 

[BTS Birthday - One Wish]  ♡♣️

[Kisaeng]  ♡♣️☆♔➵✎

[Mall Santa] NJxJMxReader ♡♔✎

[Cold]  ❁♤☆♢♧➵

[Lost Boys]  ❁♡♤☆♢♧➵

[The Check-up]  ☆➵ [A Very Bad Day]  ♡♤♔✉  [Soul Food]  ♡♤♔✉❁ [Jinnie]  ♡♤♔❁♧ [Side Dishes]  ♢❁✎ [Even the cake is in tiers] ♡♤♔❁♧

1. [Music is the spark that sets my soul on fire]  ♡✉✓            2. [Dance is the celebration of the flame]  ♡✉✓ [Baby girl]  ♡✉ [Bonnie and Clyde] Mafia au ♡♤☆♢♧✉ [Royal Pain]  ❁♡♧✎ [SEA]  ♡♤☆♧♔➵

[Feel Better]  ♡♧  [Blue Side]  ♤❁➵ [Steal my sunshine]  ♧✎ [I wish there were more good days] ♡♤✎

[Peace]  ♡✉ [Pizza]  ♡✉ [The bomb]  ☆♤♡♧♔♢➵ [Pandemonium]  ☆♤♡❁ [Namjoon the giant and his tiny friend] ♡♤❁ [Talk is Cheap]

[Death need no invitation]  ☆★♤♡❁➵  (same storyline as [Me and the ghost in number 23] but a one-shot instead of chapters) [Herb] [Herb.2]☆★♡♤♔➵ [Kitten]  ☆★✉ [Beach]  ☆★✉ [Wild space]  ☆♡❁ [Daylight]  ♡♤♔♧❁ [I Kendo it]  ♡♤♔♧ 

[Horror movies]  ♡♔ [Love Listening] [Part 2]  ☆★♤♡➵ [Stars]  ♡✉ [Dangerous]  ♡✉ [Um...]  ♡✉ [Like real people do]  ♡✉❁  [Video games] ☆★✉ [Salad]  ☆★✉ [Ramen]  ☆★✉   [Temptation] ☆★✉ [Mad]  ☆★♤♡♢➵

[I will wait (Some say)]  ♤♡ [Dude]  ♡✉ [Stretch]  ♡✉ [Icecream]  ♡✉ [Autism]  ♡✉ [Lap] Mafia au  ☆★♤✉    [Jealous]  ♡♤✉ [Actions Speaker Louder Than Words] [Part 2] [Part 3] ♡♤✎

[WAITING FOR YOU ANPANMAN!] ♡☆♔❁♧♤

Your life may be considered a little unsavory, but you would call it dangerously cozy. When a group of crime fighting young men put your plans on hold. Over run with criminals they work to protect the innocent and stop these malicious acts of violence.

[I’m Dead]  ☆★♤♡❁♔✓➵

Woken one night by memories of the past you meet a mysterious man on your balcony. He is cocky and charming and you find yourself swept up in something that is bigger than you can imagine. Why? Because he is death. And because your meeting is long overdue.

[Curse]  ♡♤❁♔✓

A modern-day fairy tale whereby seven young princes born under King Bang’s greed cannot find true love. Unless they break a special spell, called the ‘Bang curse’. In order to break the curse, Prince Seokjin must be loved by a ‘Blue’ blood, by a royal. That seems almost impossible when you have a pig nose. (based off the movie Penelope)

[Wash Out]  ♤♡❁♔♧✓

Taehyung and his best friend Y/N are Dolphin trainers at Wash Out; Marine Wildlife and Theme Park. When the nerdy marine biologist and resident veterinarian Doctor Kim Namjoon goes missing; the two friends form a ragtag team with Taehyung's rival Seokjin and a…. Fish?

[Midnight Circus]  ☆♤♧  

Traveling through the back alleys is the midnight circus. Step inside and fill your curiosity by gazing at the freaks of the night. IF YOU DARE.

[Family Secrets]  ☆★♤♡♔♧

Suga is a spy who threw away his name years ago. His latest mission requires maximum stealth he must find a wife, child and house. Taehyung aka 103899V is a child who has been the subject of extensive experiments and can now read minds, and you, you are a hitman. Each of you must keep your secrets from one another. A truly one of a kind family. (inspired by ‘Spy x Family’.)

[Choices]  ☆♤♡❁♔♧

Soulmate Au

[Quarantine]  ☆♤♡➵✓  ( ★ in separate marked chapters)

ALERT! The city has shut down!

While you happen to be visiting the BigHit building. The government puts out an Alert across the entire Seoul area. Banning anyone from stepping outside, while they disinfect the streets. But you aren’t alone, you happen to meet the international Kpop boy group ‘Bangtan Sonyeondan’.

[Femme Ft. BigBang, TXT, NCT, BLACKPINK]  ☆♡★♤♔✓  

(Femme is french for female. I mean NO offense to any of my fellow LGBTQIA+ community when I use this term) The Year is 3019. Some Females (Femme) were preserved cryogenically in an effort to prevent extinction. Using Elite computer algorithms a Femme is matched with her Male applicants to find the perfect match. Male applicants are usually selected whilst in school and housed together to create trust before they are matched with their femme. It is common for a Femme to be paired with 3-5 applicants due to the shortage and the compatibility between each. But you, you have 7.

[Me and the ghost in Number 23] ☆★♤♡❁➵✓  

(the same storyline as Death need no invitation just extended into chapters instead of a one-shot)  Moving into your new apartment on the dance academy campus, you hear is haunted. You practice your routines with the ghoulish resident in the second bedroom. Things get heated, except you know ghosts are cold. so…

[Witching Ft. Monsta X]  ☆♤❁♧✓

After your brother goes missing, you find yourself in Seoul with nothing but a prosthetic limb as the only clue to what might have happened. Circumstances lead you to a coven of seven handsome young men. But they happen to be a well-known coven that goes by the name ‘Bangtan Boys’.

[Tiny Tan - Limited Edition]  ♔❁♧♡✓

It is your first time buying proper merchandise, there are new chibi figurines and the first person to order will receive a limited edition set. But what happens when BTS have gone missing without a trace and a few days later you receive your package. The box says congratulations, you open to find your limited edition figures, they look so lifelike. OH WAIT! it’s cause they are.

[Light it up]  ♔❁♧♡☆✓

In Bightville there is never any nonsense, the scariest thing one might face is tripping at the roller-disco. But, when you move to the small town, crazy things start to happen. Suddenly people are going missing without any leads. It’s when your neighbour Seokjin goes missing that things get serious because now his friends suspect you!

[BTS Among Us] ♔❁♧♡♢☆♤➵✓

You have a crew of 11, well now 10. The captain has been killed. Whatever it is doesn’t appear to be human but from the evidence you gathered, whatever it is, is pretending to be one of you. Who is it and why?

[BTS 365 Prompts] ☆★♡♤♔❁♧➵✓

Seven boys. Seven days a week. 365 prompts. Find your birthday and read your special prompt. (feel free to use them.)

[MANIA]  ☆★♤❁✓

At eighteen everyone takes a blood test to find out their blood types. A, B, or O. Each blood type represents the person’s secondary gender Alpha, Beta or Omega and can be Dominant (+) or Recessive (-). When small thin Yoongi receives his letter he doesn’t expect A+. He knew there was no way he was an Alpha especially not a dominant.

[Hope in the Sheets]  ☆♡★♤♔➵

You held many titles: his neighbour, colleague, wingman… well, more likely a wing-woman, yet most importantly, you were his best friend. You had been friends since you were born. Between the two of you, you were younger; barely, but he never let you forget it. He always seemed to ruffle your hair and tease you, which could get rather annoying but he made up for it by treating you to things. What if a drunken one night stand between you and your best friend Hoseok leads to more complicated situations? Your reckless twenties are cut short as you find yourself suddenly responsible for something a little more.

[Sly like a... ?] ♧♔❁♡♤X (☆★ in seperate marked chapters)

Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

[Sparks of the Heart]  ☆★♡♤♔❁   

In a world where Humans live alongside humanoid computers. They can download software, use the Internet, send e-mails, or receive calls. A learning software helps mould their personality, habits, and knowledge, to make life much simpler. They must stay charged up in order to continue working properly. But there are a small few that are changing. Feeling.

[Seoul Mates]  ☆♡★♤♔∞

Finding your Soulmate is one thing trying to keep them in Seoul another. The Bangtan Boys each have a different Soulmate mark. Follow their journey to discover their other half.

Story request OPEN!

[BTS Asks]  ☆★♡♤♔➵∞

You ask, they answer.

[Jodo-Myeon National School of Magic]   No set storyline or story format.

[Incarceration]

The world's craftiest criminals held in the most expensive and elaborate prison. What do they do to capture your attention? 

[anjaniedringhaus]

Fatima Shbair wins the Anja Niedringhaus Courage in Photojournalism Award

© photo: Fatima Shbair / text: IWMF

Brazilian and Iranian-Canadian women photographers also recognized

[September 29, 2021 – WASHINGTON, DC] – Today, the International Women’s Media Foundation presented Palestinian freelance photojournalist Fatima Shbair with the seventh annual Anja Niedringhaus Courage in Photojournalism Award. Since 2015, the international award has honored women photojournalists who take risks to capture humanity in dire circumstances, illuminating underreported and sometimes silenced stories. The prestigious award was created in honor of German Associated Press photojournalist Anja Niedringhaus, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2014.

Shbair’s portfolio rose above more than 100 applications that represented women photojournalists from more than 40 countries. At 24 years old, Shbair is the youngest winner of the ‘Anja Award’ to-date and is a self-taught, freelance photojournalist. Her portfolio, “11 Days of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict,” includes unique moments of tension, violence, devastation, and hope all captured from Gaza City in May 2021.

“Life here is different, and I had to find a way to [show] what was happening,” says Shbair from Gaza. “Despite successive wars and tragedies, people here dig deep in search of hope, and their lives matter – it’s my responsibility to convey their voices to the world.” Shbair continued: “Anja’s work gives us the determination to continue on the path despite the difficulties. I can’t find the words to describe how honored I feel to receive this award.”

The IWMF also recognized two other women photojournalists with honorable mentions in the competition: Brazilian photojournalist Adriana Zehbrauskas, currently working in Phoenix, Arizona, and Iranian-Canadian photographer Kiana Hayeri, who is based in Kabul, Afghanistan. Zehbrauskas’ portfolio included energetic yet sensitive portrayals of migration and the toll of COVID-19 in Latin America, while Hayeri’s work spotlighted the rising conflict and looming crisis in Afghanistan from an alternative perspective.

“Within the past two years so many communities worldwide have been pushed to the brink in order to survive,” says the IWMF’s Executive Director Elisa Lees Muñoz. “Anja’s focus on resilience, hope and the intimate struggles people face in times of crisis is a legacy we turn to now more than ever. The IWMF is thrilled to recognize this year’s winner, Fatima Shbair, as well as Kiana Hayeri and Adriana Zehbrauskas in Anja’s name.”

This year’s jury included Corinne Dufka, Jacqueline Larma, Robert Nickelsberg, Tara Pixley, and Bernadette Tuazon. Together, the committee issued the following statement on this year’s Anja Award selection: “The portfolios from this year’s winner and honorees draw in the viewer and continue to grow with impact and intimacy. Each photojournalist demonstrated remarkable tenacity and developed clear and close bonds with her subject, accessing what few photographers can convey. We congratulate Fatima, Adriana and Kiana on their remarkable work; Anja would be proud to recognize each of you.”

Anja Niedringhaus was a recipient of the IWMF Courage in Journalism Award in 2005. The winner’s $20,000 prize is made possible by the Howard G. Buffett Foundation. Honorees’ images and captions, biographies and headshots are available for media use with proper attribution; to inquire further, please contact Charlotte Fox (cfox@iwmf.org).

Courage in Photojournalism Award Winner

This year’s winner, Fatima Shbair, is a Palestinian freelance photojournalist from Gaza City.

After studying business administration for three years at Al-Azhar University in Gaza, Shbair switched to study journalism and began concentrating on photojournalism in 2019 through independent study and working in the field.

In 2020, Shbair began to receive assignments from several international agencies, including Getty Images and The New York Times, to cover her hometown as tensions continued between Israel and Palestine. Her assignments increased in 2021 but came with the challenge of working during a global pandemic, which also strained and ravaged her own community. Shbair is currently a contributor to Everyday Middle East and continues her work with Getty Images. Her work has been exhibited in Palestine, the UAE, London, and Paris.

As a women photojournalist, Shbair’s gender and line of work are challenged daily, due to the conservative nature of society in Gaza, and the prevenance of male photojournalists in the industry.

Juror Dufka noted, “Fatima’s stunning photo essay is one of the strongest entries the jury had the pleasure of reviewing these past several years. Her work with light, angles, and composition is remarkable as she weaves through a forest of destruction in her own backyard.”

Juror Larma continued, “She clearly spent a great deal of time with her subjects and pursued what’s beyond obvious for most photojournalists. Within these 11 days, Fatima took the time to pursue intimate storytelling, showing us both the physical and emotional toll on her subjects while operating in extreme danger.”

From Gaza, Shbair further remarked: “Courage is not just about taking risks; being human first is the true courage of a photojournalist. It is a great honor to receive this award, especially in Anja’s image, as we are all still learning from her creativity, journey, and pursuit of the truth.”

Twitter: @FatimaMshbair, Instagram: @fatimashbair

Courage in Photojournalism Honorees

Honoree Kiana Hayeri was born and partially raised in Iran and was first introduced to photography in high school after her family moved to Canada. Hayeri left Toronto during her final year of university and traveled to Afghanistan on assignment in 2013, where she’s remained.

In 2021, Hayeri received the Robert Capa Gold Medal for her photographic series, “Where Prison is Kind of a Freedom,” documenting the lives of Afghan women in Herat Prison. In 2020, she received the Tim Hetherington Visionary award and was named as the 6th recipient of the James Foley Award for Conflict Reporting.

Hayeri was an IAAB fellow in 2011 and completed a CIS artist residency at MIT University in 2012. In 2014, she was named as one of the emerging photographers by PDN 30 Under 30. In 2016, she was selected for the IWMF’s cross-border reporting fellowship to work on her proposed story in Rwanda and DRC and was selected as the recipient of Chris Hondros Fund Award as an emerging photographer. In 2017, Hayeri received a grant from European Journalism Center to do a series of reporting on gender equality out of Afghanistan and received Stern Grant in 2018 to continue her work on the state of mental health among Afghan women.

Hayeri is a Senior TED fellow, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Le Monde, Harper’s Magazine, Washington Post, NPR, Monocle Magazine, Wall Street Journal, Marie Clare, Glamour, The Globe and Mail, Al Jazeera America, and CBC, among others.

When reviewing Hayeri’s portfolio, Tuazon noted that, “These images can only be captured by a woman with her specific access and lens. Every single day in this portfolio demonstrates unbelievable courage as the women and children she illuminates convey a harrowing narrative.”

Twitter: @kianahayeri, Instagram: @kianahayeri

Adriana Zehbrauskas is a Brazilian documentary photographer based in Phoenix, Arizona. Her work is largely focused on issues related to migration, religion, human rights, underrepresented communities, and the violence resulting from the drug trade in Mexico, Central and South America.

Zehbrauskas contributes regularly to The New York Times, UNICEF and BuzzFeed News and her work has been widely published in outlets such as The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Guardian, Stern, Le Monde and El País, among others.

She is the recipient of a 2021 Maria Moors Cabot Prize, a New York Press Club Award in Feature-Science Medicine and Technology in the Newspaper category for the article “Zika’s Legacy: Catastrophic Consequences of a Continuing Crisis (NY-2018) and a POY International (2019). She was a finalist for the Premio Gabo (2018) and received two Honorable Mentions at the Julia Margaret Cameron Award (2018).

Zehbrauskas is one of the three photographers profiled in the documentary “Beyond Assignment” (USA, 2011, produced by The Knight Center for International Media and the University of Miami. She’s a recipient of the first Getty Images Instagram Grant and was awarded Best Female Photojournalist -Troféu Mulher Imprensa (Brazil). Her mobile photography work was selected by Time Magazine for the “29 Instagrams That Defined the World in 2014″ and her project on Faith in Brazil and Mexico was awarded an Art & Worship World Prize by the Niavaran Artistic Creation Foundation.

She’s an instructor with the International Center of Photography (ICP- NY), the World Press Photo Foundation, Gabriel García Márquez’s Fundación Gabo, the Foundry Photojournalism Workshop and serves as a jury member to dozens of grants and awards worldwide.

Commenting on Zehbrauskas’ portfolio, juror Pixley said, “The strength of her images is indicative of a lengthy time occupying difficult spaces despite both health and safety concerns. Her consistency across countries, issues and movements reveals the same, unique human connection.”

Twitter: @AZehbrauskas, Instagram: @adrianazehbrauskas

[assassinnumber9]

Assassin’s RWBY Fanfic Masterpost

Cold No More

Rating: T

Warnings: Lots of Fluff

Summary: Clover only enjoyed watching his boyfriend be cold, not children.

Pairing(s): Fair Game (Clover x Qrow)

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

I Should Be Thanking You

Rating: T

Warnings: Lots of Fluff, Tiny Angst, Sexual References

Summary: For so long, Clover Ebi had only ever fought for others, never realizing the importance of selfishness in mankind's existence, yet he was lucky enough to find something to bring him to the revelation. Even with his semblance, it was hard to believe everything that had occurred and now what he had.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

Lock in Love

Rating: E

Warnings: Lots of Fluff, Explicit smut

Summary: Clover wants to show how much Qrow really means to him through actions of the hips...also in a pool room.

A.k.a. Clover fucks (makes love to) Qrow in a pool.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

My Sun of Days, My Moon of Nights

Rating: T

Warnings: LOTS and LOTS of Fluff

Summary: Clover hadn't realized how one simple action, one simple hatred for the sun and love of the moon, could cause his life to change so much.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

Never Screw with a Qrow

Rating: T

Warnings: Dumb Ass Humor, Sexual References

Summary: Crows are bad luck. Don't screw with one. ...Or screw one. Great job, guys, now the kids are scarred. Except Yang, who's all for it. Also, Clover's luck wins again.

Pairing(s): Snowbird (Qrow x Winter)

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

NHTR of Clandestine

Rating: M

Warnings: Angst, Eventual Rape/Noncon mentions, Frequent Explicit Language

Summary: "Beacon will fall. There is no doubt about it. Even if Clandestine has remained neutral and at peace since its founding, can we really go about that peace knowing that our fellow men are being caused torment while we live in harmony? We, as huntsmen, have a duty to fulfill - a duty to protect humanity from its end, a duty to prove the brothers that they were correct in creating us, that we as a creation should remain. We must stand together, even if our own brothers and sisters led us to make the decisions we have. The faunus and humans joined together to fight against their common enemy once, and we must follow in those same footsteps now."

Pairing(s): To Be Determined

(In)Complete: Incomplete, series

Only May Death Do Us Part

Rating: T

Warnings: Angst

Summary: Clover hadn't died in Atlas - not when Tyrian Callows got to him and not when Atlas fell - but he had kept his status a secret. And now that the war was done, there was only one thing left to do - reunite with the one he loved who still believed him to be dead.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

Riding High

Rating: E

Warnings: Lots of Fluff, Explicit Smut, Frequent Explicit Language, Dumb Ass Humor (if you squint)

Summary: Ah, the holidays. Wonderful snow, wonderful feelings, wonderful moments, and awful travel. Especially for a certain unlucky professor who just wants to visit his family for Christmas and New Years, but there is no way that fate would be normal just one time and allow his flight to not be cancelled or postponed.

As he waits for yet another rescheduled flight, he goes to get pizza, but also finds some beef. Some very sexy beef. Some very sexy beef who Qrow would definitely let pin him to multiple surfaces if he so wanted.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Incomplete, series

The Reason I'm Alive

Rating: M

Warnings: Lots of Fluff

Summary: Clover finds a new mission - that being to prove Qrow is his luckiest charm.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

Triumph Will Be Ours

Rating: E

Warnings: Angst, Eventual Smut, Eventual Rape/Noncon, Eventual Mentions of Rape/Noncon, Frequent Explicit Language

Summary: A high buzzing rang in Clover’s head, completely out of it, as he received his stars. Many called him lucky, questioned how, despite the fact that he didn’t even have enough years on him for this responsibility, he was unanimously given this position. And honestly, he himself wasn’t even sure, for he believed there were many, many other more capable soldiers for this position - the eldest of former King Nicolas Schnee’s sons for example - but it was awarded to him and he would forever question it in the silence of his own mind.

Finally, the buzzing stopped for a second, allowing the brunette to hear the final words of his promotion. “Congratulations, General Clover Ebi. We wish you the best of luck in your future expeditions. May you find victory and success in this war.”

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Incomplete, series

You Cannot NOT Be Straight for Qrow Branwen

Rating: T

Warnings: Dumb Ass Humor, Sexual References

Summary: This was a...situation. To put it lightly. Clover's there for it though. Because really, you cannot NOT be straight for Qrow Branwen.

Pairing(s): Fair Game

(In)Complete: Complete, One-shot

[rosemaidenvixen]

Ugly Sweaters and Hot Cocoa

Happy Secret Santa, Merry Christmas, and Blessed Yule to @tigereyes45. You wanted something with adult asexual Krel enjoying his best life, so I wrote this little one shot with him and his fellow ace friends calling Aja to update her about his life on earth. Hope you enjoy!

@toa-secret-santa

Ao3

Krel carefully placed the laptop down on the coffee table and looked around “Everyone ready?”

Eli plopped down on the couch right next to him “Ready,”

Zoe hopped over the back and landed on Krel’s other side “All set, now we just need to wait for Douxie to get her with the--”

“Ask and you shall receive,” Douxie stepped around the side of the couch and slid the pile of DVDs onto the table before flopping back next to Zoe “Ready when you are Krel,”

“Awesome,” Krel turned and opened up the laptop, typing in the commands to establish the connection “Let’s get started,”

A few seconds later Aja’s blue face popped up on the screen.

“Hello little brother!”

“Hello Aja,” Krel greeted her with a small smile.

“Hi Aja!”

“Nice to see you,”

“How’s it going, did you get the video games I sent you?”

She held up a thin plastic box in front of the screen “Yes, thank you Zoe, but we’ll have to be quick today, I can’t talk for long, there is a meeting with dignitaries from the far territories,” 

Abruptly Aja’s figure on the screen froze, before slowly lowering the box and leaning in to squint at them “What are you all wearing?”

“Ah, well you see, today we participated in a Earth winter solstice ritual known as the ‘Ugly Sweater Party’,”

“Check it out!” Eli flipped a switch on the underside of his collar causing the Christmas tree on the front of his sweater to become illuminated with multicolored lights.

“You call that an ugly sweater?” Douxie said with a smirk “This is an ugly sweater,”

He pressed the red nose of the reindeer on his chest, causing tinny instrumental music to play. Krel and Zoe looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Douxie and Eli could be such dorks, although to be fair the snowman on Krel’s sweater shed glitter on every surface it touched, and Zoe’s sweater had so much tinsel it was hard to look directly at her. 

“Oh, excellent work, your sweaters are most hideous,”

“I know,” Krel leaned back “I don’t really understand it either,”

Aja giggled before she started, zooming closer until her face took up the entire screen “Seklos and Gaylen Krel! Is this your new house?”

Krel perked up “Oh yes, sorry I thought I already told you we moved in. We’re on the loft right now but I can show you the rest,” he stood and picked up the laptop, walking over to the landing so Aja could see down stairs “There’s the kitchen, and the living room, there’s a patio outside but it might be hard to see through the sliding doors,”

“Very lively! I will have to come over to see it the next time I am on earth,”

“Yep,” Eli said with no small amount of pride “The four Ace-cateers finally have a home base,”

Krel turned and made a face so that only Aja would see; her eyes sparkled, cheeks puffed with barely restrained giggles. He hadn’t been the one to pick out that name, Eli had, and to Krel’s eternal torment it stuck.

Asexual was the english word to describe what the four of them were. There existed no such translation in the Akiridion dialect, the closest thing would be ‘preferences’.

Some Akiridions preferred those similar to themselves, some preferred those who were more different. Some enjoyed the company of others regardless of how similar or different they were. And some, like Krel, preferred to abstain altogether.

Krel had never really needed a word to describe what he was; Aja, Varvatos, and his parents had always known his preferences and accepted them without question.

So yes, Krel had never needed the word, but being able to use it to find others that were similar to him was incredible. 

Other people that would roll their eyes with him when Steve did one of his musical calls to Aja, to complain with about how nearly everything in human society was geared towards couples.

Eli, Douxie, and Zoe were some of the best friends he could ask for during his years on earth. Even if ‘The four Ace-cateers’ was an embarrassing name.

“We just moved in last week,” Zoe said loud enough for Aja to hear even though Krel was standing across the room with the laptop “There’s still a lot of unpacking to do, but that can wait until after finals,”

“Congratulations! Are your classes going well little brother?”

“Oh yes they are challenging to be sure but I having a blast,” Krel returned the laptop to the table while sitting back down on the couch “Humans have such a complex history, and the way the carbon based life on this planet evolved is truly fascinating,”

Douxie leaned over and grinned at the computer screen “You have no idea how disappointed the engineering school was to miss out on him, there was even talk about some of them throwing him into a sack and dragging him to the engineering campus so they could force him to join,”

“Kleb that,” Krel folded his arms and leaned back “If I wanted to learn utterly basic engineering from some larvox that doesn’t even know what a Daxial array is, I would go back to high school,”

Aja giggled before turning towards Eli “How are your studies going, Ambassador Pepperjack?”

“I’m hanging in there, Mr. Strickler’s been helping with my political science classes, but learning all the different languages is hard,”

Krel grinned and nudged him with an elbow “Eli, tell her what happened your debate,”

Aja’s eyeridges rose “Debate?”

Eli blushed scarlet while the three of them started smirking “There’s nothing to tell!”

“If it is nothing why are you turning red?”

“Let’s just say Ash Dispersal Pattern, featuring DJ Kleb, made a guest appearance,” Douxie said with a sly grin.

“Is that what you call it?! There was a dragon in the auditorium!” 

Zoe held up a finger “Hey, Charlemange is a cool guy,”

“The quad was on fire.”

“I assure you, we had everything under control,”

“And the gnomes!?” Eli said indignantly, face still crimson.

Krel opened his mouth to retort, paused, shut his jaw with a click, and then opened it again “....yeah ok that was our bad, we took that one a little too far,” 

Eli covered his face and moaned

Aja’s expression was both confused and intrigued “Ok, we don’t have enough time right now, but you will definitely have to tell me the full story later,” 

Zoe nodded at her “I’ll send you the pictures,”

“Oh, that reminds me, how is your deejaying Krel?”

“Klebtastic, I’ve been doing pretty regular work at the recreation center’s party nights, and I’m going to be doing the music in town square for Arcadia’s New Years eve celebration,” 

“That’s Amazing!” she beamed at him “You know when I told the council of elders what your DJ name is they were so horrified, a few of them actually fainted,”

Krel let out a short laugh “Oh man, I wish I could have been there,”

Aja chuckled along with him for a moment when someone suddenly called to her from offscreen. She leaned over and disappeared from view for a while responding to them before quickly popping back “I have to go soon, but it was good talking to you,”

“Yes,” Krel sighed, the other three sitting back to let him and his sister say goodbye “I miss seeing you,”

“Krel I--” Aja hesitated before speaking up again “Krel...I am glad that you are happy on earth with your friends and your deejaying and your studies...but there will always be a place for you on Akiridion-5,”

Krel froze, caught off guard by the sudden heaviness in his chest and stinging in his eyes. 

His life on earth wasn’t perfect, there were pieces missing; Aja was the biggest one. But he had his friends, his town. A life outside being a prince that he’d never imagined.

Maybe one day he would want something different, but for now this was enough.

“Thank you Aja,”

Aja gave him a soft smile “You can always come back whenever you want, but I know earth is your home to,”

Someone called to her from beyond the computer again, Aja frowned sharply, standing abruptly and shouting offscreen “I will be finished soon, now would you please give me a mekron to speak with my brother in peace!”

She sat back down into view and sighed “I have to go now, but it was good talking to you, and Krel--”

“Yes, I know, I will give hugs and kisses to the oaf for you,”

“I was going to say don’t take so long to call again, but if you really want to, I can ask Steve to--”

“Flishgag no!”

“Aja! Ew!” Eli’s face was a picture of disgust.

She laughed at them through the screen, Douxie and Zoe going right along with her. 

“Take care of yourself little brother,”

“I will, and you do the same,”

She gave him a melancholy smile “Goodbye,”

Bittersweet feelings stirred in his stomach “Bye, see you soon,”

With that he pressed a button on the keyboard causing the screen to go dark.

Krel pressed the power button and shut the laptop, but not before he could see the glum look on his face reflected in the blaack screen. 

It was good to catch up with Aja, he should definitely arrange another call soon. But immediately after their calls ended was always when he felt the literal lightyears of distance between them most acutely.

He played off the swell of emotion as a shudder “Why your race chooses to express romantic affection by mushing your mouths together I will never understand,”

“Agreed,” Eli punctuated the word with a nod.

“I don’t know guys,” Douxie said “Kissing isn’t all that bad,”

“Yeah,” Zoe slid closer to him “I think I might like to do some right now,”

“Please no,”

“Gross,”

Douxie flashed them a malicious grin while pulling a smirking Zoe in closer “We’re going to do it,” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Guys, eeww!”

“If you two kiss I am throwing myself out the window,”

“Pucker up honeypie,” Zoe leaned in close, Douxie bending his head down to meet her.

Eli made gagging noises.

“The window is open and I am ready to jump!”

Zoe and Douxie were less than an inch away when Lucy suddenly popped up from behind the couch, causing Zoe to fall and Douxie to jump with a yelp.

“Nuh uh uh kiddos, no PDA in the living room. Got to be on your tip top best behavior now, Santy Claus is watching,”

Zoe got back up with a grumble “We’re grown adults in our own house,”

Lucy didn’t so much as bat an eye “How about you sports have some hot cocoa, extra whipped cream and extra marshmallows,” she held out a tray with four steaming mugs.

“...if this is a bribe I will totally take it,” Zoe reached up and grabbed one of the mugs, Eli and Douxie following suit.

Krel shut the window with a sigh of relief and walked over to accept his own mug. Zoe and Douxie would pick chocolate over making out any day; besides, if past experience was anything to go by Krel wasn’t very good at hiding his gloom at being separated from his sister, and they had only been trying to distract him.

He picked up one of the DVDs from the stack on the coffee table “Should I start the movie now?”

“Yes,”

“Definitely,”

“Fire it up,”

Krel popped the disk into the player before going back over to plop down on the couch between Eli and Douxie. Zoe picked up the box from where he set it on the table “When a big city lawyer heads home for the holidays it’s love at first sight when-- wow, they aren’t even trying anymore are they?”

“They’re the Hallmark channel,” Eli said between sips of his hot chocolate “What do you think?”

“You know, when I first arrived on Earth I thought that these movies were an accurate representation of human courtship, you have know idea how relieved I was when I learned they weren’t,”

“Yeah they are inaccurate drivel,” Douxie said as the opening credits started rolling “But they are a ton of fun to watch with my fellow Ace-cateers,”

Krel grinned and held up his mug “I’ll drink to that,”