#just break up with that boy already

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[valhallavalgrace]

Not sure what the chances are of this working in the afterlife, but have you tried Iris Messaging your friends at all? I saw you had some pictures of them up in the background. Must be hard to be without them after you basically lived in each other’s pockets for a year.

LEO: I heard from some 100 year-old 12 year-olds that people sometimes go to "Midgard"--their word for Earth--for secret missions. I don't know how much of that is true, since we can, you know, die for good outside of the hotel... but maybe after my welcome I can find a way or reason out of here...

prev ask

[naamahdarling]

Augh

[kayden-i-guess]

I've just started Skeleton Key, someone please tell me this 14 year old finally gets a gun. " Oh he's too young-" HES TOO YOUNG FOR LITERALLY ALL THE SHIT HES BEEN THROUGH " He's not ready to kill" HE SLAYED A MAN. HE SLEIGHED A GROWN MAN!!! I love the other inventions they are so cool and Smithers does a great job but please at least ONE gun. or a stun gun that has more than just one fucking dart because that didn't even make it to Point Blanc.

I know he probably won't get a gun, dear god this child needs a break from saving the world.

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Raised in Amphibia AU Marcy has a very complicated relationship with Andrias. They love each other and see each other as father and daughter. He never yells at her, never raised a hand at her, yet she's so utterly terrified of him. She doesn't even know why she feels like this, but all she wants is to not lose his love and to make him proud, and feels like she's always in debt, always failing at earning her place, always desperately two steps behind, never quite pleasing him.

She gives up so much of herself to earn his love and approval... she keeps most of her less useful interests secret, she doesn't have any friends except for maybe Lady Olivia, she drops whatever she's doing, no matter how important, to go to her father when he calls her, she "forgets" about her feelings when they're inconvenient to him...

She used to wear her hair long because he liked it. He never pressured her to wear it like that, possibly didn't even notice the effects his words had on her, but he once said it's what's traditional for the Leviathan royal family, and that it looked good in her, and she was determined to keep hers as long as possible, until one day she can't handle all the stress and anxiety and she desperately cuts it all in her bedchambers. Now it's so short, barely reaching her jaw. She cried herself to sleep that night. Andrias didn't say anything about it, only that it looked nice, and Marcy feels her heart sink - she let it grow for years no matter how uncomfortable it was or how little she liked it for nothing.

[wereflamingo-in-thai-dramaland]

Since when do you celebrate a goal in a team sport with your friend in the audience instead of with your teammates who helped you make that goal?? That's rude and antisocial.

SaintShin were always fucked up. We were just too busy awwing at the cuteness to see it.

[michi-chelle]

in the span of a few hours rei won a moneymatch, won a deathmatch, had a fistfight with towa, had two emotionally heavy conversations, had like two mental breakdowns, and to top it all off lost his virginity? boy’s a fuckin machine lmaoooo

[jakowskis]

"i hated owen for all/most of s1 i only started liking him in s2" weak. i liked owen since he got choked against a wall by an angry woman and then told her he wanted to shag her immediately afterwards. and then even more when he spent ep3 trying to intimidate and murder a rapist

[dootznbootz]

With how I'm planning my fics, since Menelaus and Agamemnon spend some years at Tyndarius' palace, I kind of have them all be childhood friends in a way before Agamemnon and Menelaus take back their kingdom (Aga is around 19, Menelaus 15 when they leave. 5-6 years later they get married.) With how their marriages work out when talking about "Old times", Odysseus is the "odd one out" as he was the only one who didn't grow up alongside them. The poor guy is left out.

Odysseus: "Wait, why is everyone laughing? What does that mean? I don't get it." Penelope: "Well you see-" Goes on about a silly story but the inside joke is dumb. "...You probably would've had to have been there to get it" Odysseus:

[sailforvalinor]

Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11

[ray935sworld]

The last time Valentino Rossi had raced in Sepang, was in 2019. He didn't know it'd be the last time. In 2020 and 2021 it wasn't on the calender due to COVID. He had the fastest lap and missed out on a podium with taking 4th place.

Too much explanation in the tags, sorry

[yo9urt]

jpmd update post #6! for some reason i thought we were further than 6 by now

EVEN LONGER THAN USUAL!!!!!!! also today's post is ENTIRELY about the bidoof special episode because that is all i did today!

as always, cool observations and thoughts first:

PRONOUN TRACKER:

bidoof's mama calls him お前, he calls her 母ちゃん, his little brother calls him 兄ちゃん（あんちゃん）; bidoof's mama calls herself 私 and お母ちゃん

the camerupt npc called him あんた, marowak called him おめえ, the slakoth/slowpoke team called him きみ

jirachi (!) calls himself 僕 and calls bidoof きみ before properly waking up and learning his name (after that i believe he only calls him bidoof-さん)

not a pronoun but doesn't fit anywhere else; as mentioned in previous posts, bidoof uses あっし and でゲス which are both words i've never heard anywhere else, and he has a relatively unique voice/accent in english, so i was on the lookout for more unusual language, but...there wasn't too much...he did say "兆枚" which jisho tells me is a rare term, and when talking to the kecleons he also said "こんちは" and "すまない," the 2nd of which is essentially the same as すみません but i'd never heard it before (i think) so it was cool

ALSO not a pronoun but doesn't fit anywhere else - this was probably happening in past sessions but today in particular i noticed how many npcs use かい to ask questions (teddiursa, kangaskhan, corphish) which was kind of reassuring because the only other time i've EVER seen かい is in one singular song on my entire japanese playlist and i was almost doubting that it was a real thing lol

FUN AND SILLY DIALOGUE NOTES

the slakoth/slowpoke npc team has some funny dialogue early in the episode where they go "aren't you the guy who screws up all the time?" (textbox ends, new box starts) "yeah...us too"

marowak dojo is "ガラガラ dojo" - ガラガラ meaning (among many things) "rattle/clatter," "rough (personality/speech)," AND "almost empty/uninhabited/etc." which is kind of perfect - the clatter of bones, the rough personality of marowak, and the emptiness of the dojo...i understand why the localization team didn't bother with a stylized translation and just called it "marowak dojo" in english lol how could you capture all of those things the same way in english?

also, one thing i didn't know - if you visit marowak in this episode, he goes on a very long ramble about how the dojo has failed and it's kind of funny you showed up on the last day before he closes it, and then he gives you a reviver seed (!). also in that speech, he lengthens practically all of his vowels and says "ぜーーったい にーーーーーーー" and "だよーーーーーー！！！" a lot and sounds like an anime character lol

bidoof ends a LOT of his sentences with かね which gives him a really...like it makes him sound really unsure of himself lol poor guy

at the end, when he made his wish, he said he wanted "かわいい こうはいs" - i don't remember what he says in english here but i remember when he meets the protag team he gets teary eyed and refers to them as "juniors" and "rookies," and of course at the end of the special episode you watch your team chatting happily with each other while bidoof watches, teary-eyed again, from the side, and it was...very endearing...i do think this is something that might have gotten lost in translation because once i read かわいいこうはい i went "oh!" and knew exactly what he meant, it gives him more of a big brotherly feeling in relation to the protags, which is pretty cute when you remember he's the big bro of 2 siblings back home...almost like he missed being in that せんぱい sort of position :') it really recontextualized his relationship to the protags for me, very endearing

SPECIAL SECTION JUST FOR SNOVER/GLIGAR/BAGON

this group was FAAASCINATING to watch. they were NASTY. but of course, snover puts on a front at first, and i'll say i think the fact that japanese has specific and more strongly marked registers for (im)politeness made the big reveal much starker than in english

PRONOUNS: bagon said "俺たち" implying 俺 for himself, called bidoof お前, called snover きさま (!) before the reveal and お前 afterwards, pre-reveal he also called snover "そこのお前" lit. "you there" which made me giggle because that's what street fight NPCs say in yakuza games lol

PRONOUNS PART 2: bidoof called bagon/gligar "お前たち" in the reveal and called snover "きみ" before it; pre-reveal, snover used "僕" and lots of "でしょう"/"ません," post-reveal he switched to "俺さま"/"snover-さま" (omfg), he also started calling bidoof お前 (see above - super formal language vs. super...not...)

OTHER BITS: snover used assertive sentence ender さ, gligar used ぜ (very masculine and a bit rough/forceful/sneaky), snover used "ねえ" instead of ない which adds even more colloquiality, all 3 of them interchangingly used "な" and "ろ" command forms, both of which can be (and in this case, were) impolite. (this was very well timed because i JUST studied command forms this morning!)

BONUS OTHER BITS: gligar taught me a couple new words: "やがる," which is attached to a verb to show that the speaker has disdain/contempt/hatred for what someone else is doing, and "このやろう," which is rude to the point of being listed as "you bastard/son of a bitch" in jisho. also, ALL THREE OF THEM used くそ, and interestingly, くそ was always written in hiragana and always followed by a small つ pause, which was in katakana. weird!

i was genuinely surprised by how nasty their language was, even worse (way worse) than team skull (at least so far). but it was pretty effective writing! nasty fellas!

general notes: this was easily the best play session ive had so far, like, bar none. maybe its because i studied a lot yesterday and i had some residual smartness or maybe ive just made a lot of real progress but today i felt like i was FLYING through most of the sentences, and concepts/constructs i was mildly-to-moderately familiar with suddenly became so much easier to get!!! and the best part is that i've only played sky once, so unlike the rest of the game, i DON'T have hard-coded memories of the special episodes and their associated dialogue; all i had to go on here was what i remember from playing the game like 3ish years ago + the synopsis on bulbapedia (i was checking to see how long it is because i was getting tired lol). so, i'm REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF for basically wading into (young) native-level material that i'm only kinda familiar with and understanding it so well!!!!!! today was great!!!! i've never felt so 日本語上手!!!!!!!!! ^_^

GOOD SENTENCES (realistically i should put like 75% of the episode here, but i can't, so just some of the best instead)

(all translations are freehanded by me since i don't remember the real english dialogue lol)

90+% of the conversation between chatot and bidoof at the beginning of the episode. seriously i barely looked at the dictionary at all during this part and i could tell what they were saying and what the feeling was WHEEEE i'm so happy

"プクリンのギルドをそつぎょうできりゃあんたりっぱなたんけんかになれるよ" (said by camerupt to bidoof) = "if you can graduate from wigglytuff's guild, you can become a magnificent explorer" (lit. "wigglytuff's guild OBJ graduation DO-POTENTIAL-CONDITIONAL you magnificent exploration TARGET become-POTENTIAL-NONPAST NEW"

"じつはあっしってなにをやるにしても。。。どうもどんくさいようで。。。いつもギルドでしっぱいばかりしてるんでゲス" (said by bidoof to himself at the shop) = "really, no matter what i try/do, i always seem stupid/clumsy...at the guild, i do nothing but fail..." (lit. "reality TOPIC i QUOTE what OBJ do TARGET do-EVEN-IF...awfully stupid/clumsy likeness COPULA-CONN...always guild LOC failure nothing-but do-EXIST-IN-STATE EXPLANATORY (COPULA)")

^ proud of myself for understanding the sentence structure here, i think my particle-understanding and structure recognition are both improving by leaps and bounds

"いつかこんなひがくるかとおもってね。。。まえからすこしずつためてたんだよ。なにかこまったことがあったらつかっておくれ" (said by bidoof mom to him when giving him $) = "i figured this day would come eventually...i've been saving up money bit by bit for a long time. if you get into trouble, use it, okay?" (lit. "someday (when QUESTION) this-kind-of day SBJ come-NONPAST QUESTION QUOTE think-CONN SHARED...before since a-little-bit piece-by-piece save-up-EXIST-IN-STATE-PAST EXPLANATORY (COPULA) NEW. something (what QUESTION) trouble (troubled thing) SUBJECT exist-CONDITIONAL use-CONN-???)

^ i thought the "おくれ" on the end was from regular old "おく" but...maybe it's not...? maybe it's an irregular conjugation? i don't know...

"あっしはきがよわいからああいうやからとはあまりかかわりたくないでゲスよ。。" (said by bidoof to himself watching bagon/gligar pretend to harass snover) = "since i'm so timid, i really don't want to get involved with that group..." (lit. "i TOPIC ki SUBJECT weak since (distant)that-kind-of say-NONPAST group QUOTE TOPIC excess get-involved-with-WANT-NEGATIVE COPULA NEW...")

^ i'm endlessly fascinated by all the collocations of 気. i know it's usually translated as spirit, energy, mind, etc. but lately i've been experimenting with thinking of it as just the original chinese qi/chi concept (at least i assume that's what it is.....erm) and taking the collocations literally and it works surprisingly well - in this case "since my qi is weak..."

"いちりゅうのたんけんかになるというあっしのゆめもかなえてくれるかもしれないんでゲス！" (said by bidoof to himself while chatot tells him about star cave) = "maybe even my dream of becoming a first-rate explorer can be granted!" (lit. "first-rate CLASS exploration QUESTION TARGET become-NONPAST QUOTE say-NONPAST i POSSESSIVE dream EVEN grant-CONN-give-down-NONPAST QUESTION EVEN(?) know-POTENTIAL-NEG EXPLANATORY (COPULA)!"

^ how many particles do we need man???????

"ただ。。。あのばでちからまかせにうばうとさわぎになる。" (said by snover to bidoof in the cave) = "but...if we went full power and took it by force out there...there would've been an uproar." (lit. "but...that place LOC using-all-one's-strength ADV take-by-force-NONPAST CONDITIONAL uproar TARGET become-NONPAST")

^ i think i'm getting better at recognizing what と is doing in any given sentence, which is great because i hate how many functions it has, and my grasp of conditionals is getting stronger too! i kind of appreciate how japanese does it similarly to english (vs. spanish) - but that's a topic for another post

[sysig]

See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)

[hauntingblue]

NAMI NEEDS TO GO UP THERE AND FIGHT BIG MOM I AM SO SERIOUS!!! THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE ROMANCE DOWN TRIO!! SANJI DO NOT DARE TAKE HER SPOT!!!

[nerosdayinanime]

ok found The Tornado by owl city and it finally kicked me into finally fleshing out the little idea i had originally from Ao E Mukau-

Its a storm world constantly covered by thick clouds, ruins of towns and cities no longer used as the old societies broke down- Giyuu and Sabito were born on the knife's edge of that collapse before the constant deadly storms made living like they were nearly impossible

one of the worst thunder storms in decades ripped through a large swath of area; Giyuu & Tsutako's parents getting killed while Sabito's mother and little brother were killed hours later when it passed over them, they both continued on with what family they had left for a few years, just trying to get enough money for food on the table and a house over their heads

when they were 13 a massive, absolutely devestating tornado hit the town Sabito lived in in the middle of the night- he was making a quick trip to the store for midnight snacks and ended up dragging his bike into a little culvert under a road with him, it mostly protected one side but when it started getting really bad some small debris started flying through and one jaggedly cut across his cheek before he curled up to wait it out. Hours later when day shouldve broke & the storm had calmed, he crawled out to finally see the total destruction of the place he called home- there was almost nothing left. His heart broke as he realized just how lucky he is to be alive, and how his dad and little sister weren't. He ran into a group of survivors and got his cheek patched up by some of the medical professionals who stepped up to check everyone over; months later an earthquake hit the city Giyuu & Tsutako lived in, she had shoved a screaming Giyuu in the only little saftey box they had and Giyuu survived falling & getting violently tossed around when the building collapsed- he was stuck in it for a day or so, crying and screaming to be let out and for his sister to be okay, before search and rescue teams found him and pried it open. they thought he was dead at first before he woke up and started crying again when he saw the damage to the area, they treated the cut on his forhead and he ran away before they could put him in an orphanage with the other only-survivor kids

[timechange]

It’s probably a good thing Marty doesn’t sleep much anymore; he’s only dozing when his homemade police scanner crackles. 

“We, uh, we got reports of a 10-103 on Kennedy Drive… 1646 Kennedy Drive. Possible 10-64.” 

He feels for the aluminum baseball bat by their bed and closes his fingers around it as he stumbles upright, his foot tangled in the blankets. Beside him, Jennifer stirs. 

“Marty?” she asks. He looks over his shoulder, catching her, all half-lidded eyes and messy bedhead, lit up by the moon. God, she’s beautiful. He can spare a moment to kiss her.

“Somethin’s goin’ down at Doc’s,” he tells her once he pulls away. Immediately alert, she sits up. 

“Do you think it’s—”

“I don’t know,” Marty sighs, running a hand through his hair. “But I’m gonna find out.”

“Copy that. 10-44,” the scanner continues. 

“10-4. 10-76.” 

“Go,” Jennifer urges, “They're on their way. But Marty, be careful.”

“Yeah, you got it.” Marty pats the sides of his pajama pants. “Keys.”

“On the nightstand,” Jennifer reminds him. Marty swipes them, stuffing them in his pocket before sprinting out the door. 

The truck roars to life and he floors it down the abandoned streets of Hill Valley. Though there may not be an actual groove worn in the asphalt— something he’s always kind of surprised by— there’s a map of this road etched somewhere inside him, he thinks. Asleep, awake, it doesn’t matter. He can always find his way back home. 

The young man grabs the walkie talkie on the passenger seat. 

“Jennifer, any updates?” 

“Nothing yet, Marty,” his wife replies. “Can you see anything?” 

“I’m pulling in now.” He puts the truck in park and abruptly cuts the engine, which responds by jerking forward. From the Burger King parking lot lights, he can just make out a figure by the fence surrounding @doctorbrown ‘s garage.

Marty clips the walkie talkie to his waistband and grabs the bat with both hands, holding it high, quietly making his way across to the garage. He has to think of how stupid he must look barefoot and shivering in the cold night air. 

He’s about to call out something to interrupt the almost frantic attempts to pry open the padlock on the fence (thankfully, they hadn’t reached the electronic keypad lock he’d installed on the door yet) when he catches a glimpse of the figure in profile. 

All of a sudden, he’s a kid again.

“…Doc?”