#just being so calm about it too
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Reading Green Arrow (2023) #1 and just a few pages in. I'm already crying.
Yeah I'm gonna take a break from Batman (and adjacent) comics. This is much better for the soul
#green arrow#roy just kneeling#not forcing lian to come back#just being so calm about it too#he cares so much about her#and he shows it#that's why she runs to him#that huuuug#if you have recommendations feel free to drop them#roy harper#lian harper#green arrow 2023
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What are you proud of?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 03 / Ep. 06
Bonus:
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#pdribs#userjjessi#userrain#*cajedit#*gif#wheezing at my own gifset i fuckinglkhsflkhsfl hate these guys#these arguments are so childish so i think its really great that they literally pull rank on each other both times#'just because we grew up together' 'you're only three years older'#why are they sooooooooooooo stupid. and funny.#its the being inseparable while growing up in a gang that did this to them i think. lmao#also. boys. why dont both of you listen to too young by nat king cole and then maybe you'll calm down#anyway shoutout to user nikkotinamide AGAIN for advising in translations and making me sure i could parallel the word 'brat' here#literally obsessed with it and the implications in both scenes/conversations#the first with ai di essentially saying chen yi is a kid to cdy and the second with chen yi being like 'what do you know about love/s*x'#me in both scenarios: :) ......>:) but then the rest of the scene paralleled TOO with ai di teasing chen yi about his. :)#and getting slammed into the wall for it hjsdkhfdj THEYRE SOOOOOOO FUNNY. GODDD
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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If Nobody Will Talk About Shiawase No Uta Lyrics, I Will
Here are my fave parts:
1. Makoto and Mao giving it their all to catch up to Subaru and Hokke and to live up to Trickstars Name
2. Subaru and Hokuto being bound by a similar fate and holding onto eachother
3. Subaru suffering through darkness and then finding light within trickstar
#*comes out of trip album covered in blood* i'm fine (i'm not)#ASDFFGGKHLLGOWWKQNSKFOFNWBWKSNSNS THIS SOOOOOOOOOONG I SWEAR#TrickstarPs just keep winning#Are trickstar stories just that good that a few lines from the lyrics reflect their growth and them overcoming#their hardships so well that it drives me insane#Or is this just me being insane about trickstar in general?#Moral of the story: power of friendship is an unstoppable force <3#trickstar#subaru akehoshi#makoto yuuki#mao isara#hokuto hidaka#anzu enstars#<- putting her too because she was there at the end as well#enstars#ensemble stars#and i am SURE i can find more quotes and parts of ts stories if i keep searching for them that match the lyrics but#It's midnight and i need to calm down a bit yeh
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Hitting the "not interested in this post" button over people's endless navel-gaze-y catastrophizing about how "discouraged" and "critical" they're feeling over Veilguard should be an Olympic sport, and brother, I'd bring home the gold
(thank you for the plethora of undodgeable, untagged spoilers btw, bunch of terminally pessimistic dicks)
#squirrel plays datv#datv spoilers#I don't know about you but I'd rather have a GOOD game with a story they're excited to tell#over an endless prade of callbacks cameos and acknowledgements#are you all seriously forgetting that they want others playing this game too; not just those with the intricately#and meticulously crafted canon worlds? are you forgetting that this is a AAA game?#i was fully prepared for my inquisition choices not to matter#just based on the simple fact that the story is now so branching that it's borderline impossible to write around every choice#EXERCISE YOUR GODDAMN IMAGINATION; IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR BEING HUMAN#and i swear if you all kill the one thing I've been genuinely excited about waiting for i AM going to end up on the news#of course it doesn't fucking matter!#a CORE THEME of the franchise is how time distance and perception obscures fact!!!!!!#FUCK!!!!!!!!!!#I PHYSICALLY CANNOT FILTER MORE VERSIONS OF JUST THE GAME'S FUCKING TITLE#and yet i got home from the store and got immediately spoiled#because yall can't exercise two minutes of calm and rational thought#i'm so fed up at this point
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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I'm too tired to write the full Essay™, but someone said in the tags that Stampede took away Knives' fear and it made me realize that the core issue I have with Trigun Stampede is the fact that the characters lack the emotional depth of Trigun Maximum. Like, I'm enjoying Stampede, and it's emotional, but Knives and Vash especially have had their emotional complexity watered down in comparison to the manga.
In the manga, they were as much at war with themselves as they were with each other and world around them. Knives was expressive, animated, and always playing up the megalomaniac god complex in public, but in private he was exhausted and scared and even expressed guilt towards his sisters for being careless in how he orchestrated the fall. Vash was an upbeat pacifist who was constantly fighting his own urge to take the "easy" way out and kill to solve problems.
It's what made the manga so heartbreaking. Neither of them were entirely right, but neither of them were entirely wrong. Knives shouldn't try a genocide, but he was also a deeply traumatized child who was shown how cruel humans could be to plants. Vash should try to do as much good in the world as he can, but holding onto the ideals of pacifism in a hostile environment does more harm than good and he learns that when he's finally pushed to the point where he has to choose between killing and saving someone important to him.
I don't think it's impossible for Stampede to recover in Season 2, but the foundations aren't great. Changing Nai to being cold as child seems like such a small change, but Knives starting out as the optimist who loved humanity is so central to that internal conflict... I don't know. Maybe they'll come back to the point of Rem being important to Knives and make use of the fact that he intended for her to survive and that might save it. We'll have to see.
#trigun#trigun stampede#trigun maximum#millions knives#vash the stampede#me: i don't have the energy to write an essay#also me:#this is probably incomprehensible and I don't want to be the guy wot rags on stampede bc i genuinely love the show#and find it more watchable than the 90s anime (sorry)#but it's more fun to complain and critically analyze the characterization#and knives is just so important to me and the fact that he hasn't gotten a good adaptation is disappointing#his childhood personality is so core to his character and yet adaptations choose to make him cold rather than bubbly and hopeful#basically the entire basis for vash's adult persona lbr#anyway i had to hold myself back from writing an essay about knives and his expressiveness too#thinking about the way he reacted to the last run and seeing the plants happy memories and how he “greeted” midvalley and#him being calm and collected just feels wrong
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the intimacy of Deku just sitting behind Bakugo in class…
#I could write a NOVEL about this#SO I WILL#it’s such a ‘so close yet so far’ thing like???#and the calm existence between the two#having to be quiet—to pass test papers back between one another—#every shift or sigh or stretch or yawn catching Deku’s attention#and the same for Bakugo’s Professional Eavesdropper ears#ALSO#the imagery of Deku always following behind Bakugo being threaded through something as mundane as class#Deku being seated behind Bakugo is like a funny jab at another annoyance Bakugo has to endure#but it turns into a glaringly obvious thing he would miss if it changed (AND IT DID WHEN DEKU RAN AWAY)#and in a story where tiny details are carefully chosen by the author SURE everyone else’s seats might be randomized#but not bkdk’s#Deku has the cliche anime protagonist desk position AND BAKUGO IS RIGHT IN FRONT IF HIM?#not off to the side or a row over—RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???#this just reiterates Bakugo as the deuteragonist too#ALSO ALSO it just scratches an itch in my brain#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#:’)
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I think anybody who thinks autism is more "accepted" nowadays is either in denial or can't see outside themselves. What we actually did is just popularize a really weird infantilized perception of autism that focuses on the symptoms that can be repackaged as "cute" or "quirky," and are continuing to treat people with inconvenient or even upsetting symptoms like garbage. And no I'm not talking about bigots who pull the "I'm literally neurodivergent" bs I'm talking about supposed allies telling me I'm acting like a child for getting too emotional when I literally have "Can't Regulate My Emotions" disorder, or that I'm moving weird, or that my voice never has the right tone to it. Sorry my autism doesn't stop and end at hand flapping and dinosaurs lmao I can gaurantee I'm not enjoying my meltdown any more than you are, buddy! In fact, I'd say I'm having a far worse time than you! I do not make a choice to be emotionally volatile nor do I feel good when I get upset. It's not my fault that emoting "properly" is a performance that takes energy and I really can't do it 100% of the time. Like idk it honestly feels like I still have to mask in supposedly progressive spaces just in a different way.
And of course this doesn't even start to get into people with higher support needs than me who are rarely acknowledged unless they themselves are doing it. It's one of the reasons those posts that are like "Do you think neurodivergence is just autism/adhd, and not (heavily stigmatized other disorder)?" rub me the wrong way. They always seem to be addressing the most sanitized version of autism possible which strikes me as counter intuitive to the point being made. And don't get me wrong, as a system I understand why it's being said but it just really frustrates me because the people these posts are about don't actually think severe cases of autism or adhd are neurodivergence either! They treat higher support needs people with the same disorders like shit!
No I do not think anyone who's ever made a post like that is a bad person nor do I expect every post to have a disclaimer containing every possible nuance but I do think a lot of them are not written with the existence of high support needs or "weird" autism symptoms in mind, which inadvertently feeds into this "palatable autism" thing people keep doing
#autism#just thinking lol#ableism#people will say autism is a spectrum until they're blue in the face and then give no thought? To different parts of said spectrum??#''I love autistics'' until you have to accommodate food struggles or one of them is loud or needs help communicating or calming down#or remembering things or even just getting around. Ally in every way but the one that actually matters: actually assisting disabled people#but people think basic human decency is ''emotional labor'' nowadays so idk why I expect any better#like sure maybe the person with autistic in their bio is being ableist about other disorders. I guarantee they're ableist at other autistic#people too. So much of this is enforced from within the community.
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met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.
#i tried so hard to be funny and nice but the way they replied to each thing i said made me feel like a scumbag LOL#ive never had that happen before. im very polite when i talk to strangers and i was being very polite then too!#i dont think they even saw it happening in realtime bc they were so calm and even keeled about it#but my god. still thinking about it. absolutely rattled me.#'ur so cool' 'oh its not the olympics. everyones cool. ur cool too' 'haha ur right yet ur still winning' 'hm. its not a competition.'#i was trying to make you laugh im sORRY i was being goofy when i said that i promise i did not say it straight#'you have so many cool tattoos' 'oh ive got a couple tattoo artist friends' 'oh thats so cool. maybe i could get a foot in the door'#like obviously as a joke but they replied gently 'you shouldnt seek friends out just to get something from them.'#NO I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY IT HAPPENS TO ME CONSTANTLY I KNOW TRUST ME#i panicked and was like 'oh haha no i wasnt serious dont worry. im an artist so i know the feeling.' but i guess it came across as like#yknow. bc they just went 'hm.' and pulled out their phone#FUMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so embarrassed#the worst part was id been talking to someone in the back who makes familiar plushies and shed set a few out#so i was talking to them while i was trying to pull up her insta to look up more info about one of the familiars#bc it looked SO FUCKING COOL and i stood there saying that to my husband right in front of them after this legendary fumble#finally pulled up the insta post for it and. they own that one. its theirs. they dressed it like that. i was so fucking embarrassed skdjfks#i wanted to look at the pricetag bc i assumed it was there bc she HADNT sold it yet#god. legendarily embarrassed.
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really love the scenes we got of Alicent actually being a mother to her grieving children and giving them comfort after their loss that's going to colour the rest of their time, reassuring them that she's there for them, actually trying to make up for the part she played in that loss by not leaving them to deal with this alone in their own ways
Oh wait, we didn't get that
so glad we got yet another scene of her and cole though 🙄
#the rage i feel is immeasurable#im a team green bitch but this isnt it#like yeah okay we got the scene of her telling helaena about the procession and we got her trying to calm helaena down when she panics#and perhaps im reading a little too far into it but theres a difference between doing so with everyone watching and doing so in private#sure there's the guilt there for the part she played#and theres not going to be anything she can do to ever get past that for the part she played#but wouldnt the first step be actually being there??#helaena doesnt want to be touched okay thats fine just sit with her show her she's not alone#actually say something when you see your son literally weeping instead of just turning and leaving the room#literally anything#DO SOMETHING#house of the dragon#hotd season 2#hotd#hotd spoilers#alicent hightower
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I'm feeling salty so I'm just gonna say-
If you can't handle the idea of feeding live prey to something.
Do not get a pet. That requires you. To feed it live fucking prey. There are SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS!
Also don't be that fucking weirdo who goes on other people's socials and bitches about how it's "inhumane" or "gross". They'd be doing it out in the wild. It's a little something called nature. And no, you cannot find an "alternative" for your mantis.
It's a MANTIS. It is like. One of the most famous predatory insects. It is infamous for eating its prey alive.
If you're going to be a little baby about feeding live prey. Then get a pet that doesn't need that. And shut the fuck up.
#its just annoying as fuck like#if you don't like the idea of predation in animals then like... don't get a predator#i've been in the hobby for all of a month but this shit is everywhere#and its not new!#i used to own a pair of lizards when I was in high school and I was seeing this shit back then too#because I would give them crickets once a month as a treat instead of their usual veggies#and people are so WEIRD about animals eating other animals like#wtf is wrong with people?#it's a CRICKET calm down#like sure all life is sacred yadda yadda but fucking#all life being sacred doesn't mean that death never happens#because if my mantis doesn't eat he dies#if my spider doesn't eat she dies#it's called nature you chucklefucks#Reaper Man and Bracken would both be eating bugs if they were out in the wild#Bracken is actually a species native to my general area so like#there are spoods out there RIGHT NOW eating bugs#she just gets to have a cushy life with no predators and carefully controlled humidity and big fat flies on the regular#and a cute little hide#same for Reaper Man he gets a nice cushy home and all the food he could need#and people are really out here bitching about how its cruel fuck the fuck off#if you come into the bug keeping world and whine about this I just think you're a moron
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people just ignore Thor was a feral child, huh? like his life goal was probably to demolish another race at age 12 and he was probably begging to go to war and attempted to murder their father for not letting him via telepathy that he didn't have.
#people are like ''loki stabbed thor at age 8'' like im sorry but thor is older and im pretty sure he would've given loki the knife#Frigga was probably like ohhh you can wage war when your brother is old enough to go with you. can't let you two go alone!#and Thor naturally was like ''ok. i will Arm the Child''#like for SURE Thor was the kid eating dirt while Loki just sat next to him looking very confused about it#Thor: Father said we are Part of Asgard and need to Eat To Grow and then one day will be Big Enough to Fight !#he tries to feed Loki the dirt so he'll grow up quicker too but Loki starts crying and now Thor's forgotten about it and trying to calm him#Thor like no no don't cry i'll find us something else to get big with :(#carries him away and gets dirt all over them both because his hands were still dirty#fast forward the bros are sitting on the ground under a table monching on lemon cakes (or whatever) absolutely COVERED in dirt#they have left a dirt trail behind them so their hiding spot won't be effective for long#and also Thor doesn't think voices should get across what is clearly a sturdy table cloth so he's not sure how they were 'discovered'#Frigga: you cannot get dirty and go in the kitchens#Thor: LOKI WAS SAD. AND WE NEED SUSTAINENCE TO GROW MOTHER. WE MUST FEED.#Frigga: -_-''#(Loki is still munching on a lemon tart. the same one despite the room change because he's eating it slowly while Thor reasons with Frigga)#(half of the words anyone is saying go over his head but he is enjoying the expressions being made)
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Dakota and Williamcore
KILLS YOU.
#EDIT:OH YEAH SPOILERS IN TAGS#gonna be thinking about this forever. especially because it could really go both ways#of course the most direct interpretation here is dakota as theseus and wil as herakles#yknow; dakota carrying williams body around in s1 and never letting go of it trying to be as gentle as possible#him hugging wil close and telling him they at least have to stick together after the events of greyscale#and him knee-deep in williams blood in the s2 finale promising to forgive him for every lie every mistake if he just came back#and i think that fits really well#but i think this could also fit in vice versa terms too#dakota being afraid to open up and not wanting to put any weight on anybody else’s shoulders; wanting to be the hero#and william seeing through that. calming him down and pulling the headphones up and over his ears and locking pinkies with him in promises-#-he knows he won’t always keep but he can at least try#william respecting dakota the most hero/ability-wise (actually said by charlie in a rolled)#like. MAN.#i’m so normal#dakota cole#william wisp#vixen rambles#vixen answers
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Was just given a bit of attitude about being aromantic by the only people I've told I am aromantic really trying not to hyperventilate here
#already crying#fuck I'm so stupidly emotional I know#sorry I need to vent. Sorry.#it's not my friends' fault they don't get it. it's not their fault. you can't always get stufff#but fuck fuck fuck fuck I need people to respect even the stuff they don't get#especially since they're the only people I have felt safe enough to come out to#so yeah apparently the conceot of an aro being in a a relationship at some point of their lives is pushing it too far#also being aro and not ace is pushing it too far#also clearly joking about wanting to be in a relationship with somebody is pushing it too far#it's fine when the others- who already have partners- do it but when I an aro do it it's pushing it too far#I will delete this later#when I calm down#fuck fuck fuck#delete later#I am sorry for not conforming to the idea of an aro who suddenly throws up at the thoght of a relationship#wait! Actually I am that kind of aro! I just sometimes joke about being in a relationship with people in an hyperbolic manner#and sometimes think it would be interesting to try being in a relationship if I ever find someone that doesn't#physically makes me throw up (BECAUSE IT HAS HAPPENED) or a have a meltdown crying when I think of being in a relationship with them#but I guess that's pushing it too far#I am sorry I am so fucking sorry I dared speaking about relationships#aro#aromantic#panicking#I am so fucking panicking right now
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Chilchuck you’re so fucking funny wtf do you mean with Izu it’s "byeee" and with Marcille it’s "if you die I die". You ass
Chapter 69 vs chapter 92 Results:
Be so serious my guy
#Chilchuck tims#I won’t tag it but if u know me u know what i’m thinking. He’s a prince charming he’s her knight in armor etc etc#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#When will izu know peace. The peace of not drowning#‘If anyone tries the ‘it’s just bc she’s the healer he can always get revived’ ah yes makes perfect sense in this situation /s#‘Izu was already dead’ yeah and in the 2nd one they’re all about to be…. He’s being irrational wtfff my guy calm down save yourself#They’d just both die and she’s too heavy but he just holds onto her anyways. Crying#CHIL YOUR CAT DAUGHTER IS DYING#The visual of izu drowning and chil just dipping is so. I can’t stop giggling i’m sorry leaving her like an old sock#Marcille not gaf thinking about falin as everyone swims with the fishes. Rip#he's always like my life first i'll always put my safety first i'll let all of you die ☝️ And then
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