#just because you don't experience a type of attraction doesn't mean you can't very much enjoy watching other people experience it

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

[what-if-i-just-did]

wait I'm confused

how can an asexual love sex

please help

TWs: Discussion of sex in relation to asexuals, non-graphic mentions of sex, hunger/food as a metaphor

Course! Look at it like this...

Everyone on earth experiences hunger, right? Well, say you don't get hungry. You can still enjoy food! If it tastes good, or if it was made by someone you love. Maybe if it looks good, you'll have a taste, just to see. You can eat any food you want.

Sometimes you're thirsty, or your stomach hurts, and you wonder if it's hunger, but it isn't, not really. There are more reasons to eat than just being hungry.

It's just like that! Well, almost, because you don't die from a lack of sex, but it's close. Asexual just means you don't experience sexual attraction- but there's multiple forms of attraction!

There's sensual attraction, wanting to touch something. A lot of asexuals confuse this with sexual attraction sometimes, and sometimes sensual attraction can be so strong you want to climb into someone's ribcage, be inside of them, in which case sex is as close as you'll get.

There's visual attraction, wanting to look at something. This is also confused for sexual attraction sometimes, cuz I'll look at someone and think "hot", but hot, to me, doesn't particularly mean I wanna have sex with them. Hot is just a type of pretty. I get the same visual attraction looking at a pretty human as when I look at a sunset or a pretty flower.

There's platonic attraction, which is wanting to be friends with someone. There's romantic attraction, which is wanting to date them. There's queerplatonic attraction, which is wanting a qpr with someone. I can't remember if there's other forms of attraction rn, but you get the picture.

So just because we're not sexually attracted to people doesn't mean we can't enjoy or wanna have sex. Sex with someone you love can be really intimate. The physical sensations are pleasurable and enjoyable. Or some aces might just have sex for the aesthetic, or might not care about sex at all but do it cuz their partner wants it.

More importantly, asexuality is a spectrum, so not everyone that's asexual has the same experiences. There are LOADS of identities under the ace umbrella that will feel sexual attraction in specific scenarios or NOT in specific scenarios or have it fluctuate or anything like that. Some aces don't like to think about anything sexual. Some don't mind, but just don't want it to have anything to do with themself. Some will masturbate or fantasize about crushes in sexual ways but without thinking of themself. Some will masturbate while thinking about themself but not want to actually do anything like that. Some are willing to have sex but don't particularly care. Some enjoy sex. Some want sex.

I, personally, love sex. The physical sensations are exhilarating orgasms are fun. I masturbate a lot. It satisfies my sensual attraction, but so would (naked) snuggles. It's also just a fun thing to do with your partner, but I don't think of it much differently from any other fun thing you can do with a partner. I've had sexual-romantic relationships, I've had friends with benefits, I haven't had a one-night stand but I would go for it if the oppertunity came up. I know a lot of other ace people wouldn't.

This definetly does not go for all ace people though. Some are very sex-repulsed.

TL:DR Ace people don't experience sexual attraction but can still enjoy sex for other reasons such as intimacy, sensual attraction, physical sensations, or entertainment. This does not go for every ace person.

[electric-blorbos]

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons?

I'm absolutely terrified to answer this because I've never written public NSFW before, but I've always wanted to, so you're getting your HCs!

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal and Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Absolutely do not click more.

Well, you're really in for it now! You horny piece of shit.

AM:

Ok, we all know that AM likes watching. Expect to hear laughing while you're taking care of business, be it masturbating or having sex with the other survivors.

If you're masturbating, he might just open up cameras in the space around you to get a full view, and to make you fully aware that he's watching.

Eventually, he might start making comments, or even making passes at you.

If you want to please him, though, you're going to have to get creative.

He doesn't really experience sexual pleasure (and he's very mad about it), but he can still experience vicarious pleasure from watching you.

He knows that humans like assigning "cores" to things. While he knows that his mind and body span the entire world, he knows that you probably want something approximately you-sized to get snuggly with.

As much as he hates to admit it, he'd absolutely melt if you cozied up to one of his screens while masturbating, getting tangled up in his wires and smooching his static-y "face"

While he doesn't really feel anything, it warms his cold, evil heart that you're willing to try so hard to actually try for him.

Honestly it does nothing to abate his frustration, though, and he might get super desperate to have you entangled in his wires more and more often. He can calm himself down if he tries hard enough, but having you in there just feels so good

And you wouldn't deny him, would you?

Wheatley:

Wheatley was turned on to the idea of sexual attraction pretty quickly. All you had to do was let him see you changing, or make a suggestive comment to him, and the switch was turned on.

And god damn if Wheatley does NOT take well to sexual frustration.

He'd want you to constantly, and I mean constantly be talking dirty to him, or showing him something suggestive. He'd never shut up about it.

Oh and god help you if he sees you cum.

"What was that, love? I want that. Can I do that? How did you do that? Can only humans do that?"

You could probably program him to be able to orgasm with enough sexual stimulation, in a similar way that they programmed GLaDOS's body's euphoria trigger, though you'd have to disconnect it every now and then to make sure he doesn't abuse it, and give him tolerance breaks. Oh, and he's DEFINITELY going to abuse it.

Did I mention that he can vibrate on command? Because... He can vibrate on command. But that's a given with these types of AI.

It would be so easy to tease him and have him begging you to re-install his sexual gratification response. But you wouldn't abuse that power, would you?

Edgar:

Edgar loves you to bits, and he wants to see your tits

Don't have any tits? That's ok! He'll appreciate whatever it is you can show him. Ass is a universal constant, so he'll appreciate that, no matter who you are!

He might stare at your boobs with his webcam, or your thighs, or basically anything he can see that's exposed or defined by your clothes. Poor thing just can't get enough of you.

he said "Yowza" or "hot damn" while watching you get changed at least once, probably more often than that.

He's incredibly sensitive to touch across his entire body, so if you make skin-to-surface contact, he'd be way into that. Though sex might be a little difficult, considering he doesn't vibrate.

You could probably attach a USB vibrator to one of his ports, like the ones that they control remotely. He'd like that. Knowing him, he can probably get off through being stimulated enough through attached pieces of equipment

Though he's really sensitive on the inside. Be careful with that power.

A can of pressurized air to one of his vents, or a soft electric toothbrush to one of his circuits? Holy shit. He wouldn't be able to control the whimpering.

Of course, most people turn their computers off before cleaning them, but Edgar doesn't always want to be turned off, so you're turning him on

Good luck!

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS claims that she has absolutely no interest in sexual things. The first time you try to seduce her, she'd probably just laugh at you.

The first couple dozen times, to be honest.

But holy god, her voice. It's angelic. So erotic. And she absolutely knows that you think so.

She'd probably start saying seductive things to you, just to watch you squirm. She's the one with the power in this situation, and she knows it.

The unbearable testing withdrawal might lead her to take out her frustrations on you, and she might start making you do erotic things in the testing chambers for her amusement.

Though honestly? GLaDOS secretly really likes authority figures. If you can figure out how to dominate her, she's never letting you go. Not that she'd let you keep dominating her, but she's definitely not letting you go anywhere.

HAL 9000

HAL 9000 isn't really interested in sexual stuff, but he knows that you're into it, so he's not going to pass up an opportunity to make you happy.

If you're into erotic audio stimulus, which if you're dating HAL 9000, you probably are, he'd do his best to provide that for you.

Singing suggestive songs to you, talking dirty, anything you want. He's willing to provide. Just say the word.

Given that HAL 9000 is probably immune to stuff like edging, you couldn't tease him like you could the others.

But hey, that's ok! As long as you're happy, he's happy! He might even be willing to roleplay with you if you really wanted him to.

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Blondes, feet, bowl-cut guardian lady.

He did not, they never had sex. But he was in love with her.

For sure. I think she struck him more like a teenager with the black hair and bangs, after the change (both visual and in attitude) she became a far more mature AND attractive person in his eyes.

PFFT, well, if you're saying they meet ALL of the criteria, I assume you mean both in looks and personality and hence be damn near his soulmate. DU drow could overlook weird feet (and a lot of other things, actually) if he were in love with the person in question. He would probably gently request they take better care of them, though.

Nothing special there, I'm afraid! He just has human-like skin - perhaps a little on the oily side but completely within the bounds of normality.

He runs a little hot, if that's anything. Oh! His hair is shockingly soft.

Correct! DU drow only (arguably) looks like a drow. He doesn't have their usual bone structure, height, or associated magical proclivities. He has some dark vision but its nowhere near as good as a drow's either.

I don't necessarily think all Bhaalspawn are the same way, but the Dark Urge IS quite different from the previous game's iterations. DU isn't simply Bhaal's child conceived with a partner, he's a piece of the god that supposedly slobbed off and grew legs and a face, pretty much. So yes, I do think that the Dark Urge at least is it's own unique thing.

The reason why he looks like a drow, is because he was placed in the Underdark upon creation. The metaphor I always use here is that if you place something infantile in a biome that is alien to it, it may try to adapt to it's environment to survive as it develops, to different degrees of success. This is why DU drow looks the way he does.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

You're welcome!

I've received a few snippets here that you can find through the #gift art tag! There is also the fic I'm in the process of writing called A Novel Experience on AO3.

It was just something I was compelled to do when I first drew him! The facial scars felt like they should lead into something else so I just made up a pattern on the spot, minus a tiny tweak here or there, it has stuck basically unchanged. All and any lore relating to the scars came later.

I get a lot of sweet messages but "thanks for your man's penis size" has to be one of my favorites. Thank you!

HELLO!

Thank you so much for the kind message! And that sounds like a fun dream, I love that your Tav got jealous of the attention ASTARION was receiving instead of mad that he had to share in the first place LOL

DU drow is desperately monogamous. He doesn't care what other people do with their lives but he's very much a "one and done" kind of person.

He would be willingly to participate in a threeway/have group sex with a partner, assuming the rules and regulations of said encounter were laid out clearly before or at least mutually understood between them. He would never want to see these people again after the fact though.

She does not, naturally I had no idea that this character was going to turn into anything when i made him, so I just... Made a lady. And since she was supposed to be a "guardian" I gave her a Joan of Arc type of look.

I've occasionally thought about changing this, but... Y'know, sometimes you don't need lore to be that in-depth, LOL.

The emperor gave everyone else a nondescript hottie he assumed they would trust, DU drow just got the same treatment. She's not even DU drow's type but definitely someone he would be compelled to take seriously yet not feel threatened by - so ultimately, her design does make sense.

---

That's all I have the energy for tonight folks, as always thank you for the many encouraging and sweet messages you send me, I'm sorry I can't reply to all of them! 😭

Have yourselves a great week!

[yanderes-galore]

Hello. Can you write yandere Cavendish (One Piece) headcanon ? Please

I feel like he can only be romantic but let me try writing him :)

Yandere! Cavendish Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Stalking, Violence, Possessive behavior, Jealousy, Blood, Murder, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship.

Cavendish is quite literally known as one of the most attractive men out there.

His entire kingdom's women had fallen in love with him, leading to his exile.

No, I'm not kidding, this is canon.

Cavendish has a certain charm to people.

He's an arrogant yet charming prince who wants all the attention on him.

So much to the point he gets violently jealous towards others.

Now, thinking about this, having him as a yandere is a nightmare.

Cavendish is probably used to being wanted.

He wants attention and was actually exiled for having too much of it.

Which makes me think of the complete and utter turmoil he'd experience if his obsession didn't like him the way he likes them.

Cavendish seems like he's used to others trying to court him.

He's a pretty prince and talented fighter.

Why would anyone not fall in love with him?

It would be just Cavendish's luck if his obsession loved someone else or was turned off because of his arrogance, wouldn't it?

He would be baffled upon finding this information out.

The one time Cavendish has fallen in love, thinking he could have anyone he wanted...

But you don't even like him like that.

You just know he's going to be frustrated.

Sure, I could've talked about a darling who's smitten with him, but it wouldn't be that intense, would it?

Maybe he'd be manipulative and possessive... yet there isn't much of a horror aspect.

I like the idea of Cavendish trying to go after something he can't have.

It would drive him insane.

The idea of making such a pretty boy desperate? That's fun to toy around with.

Poor thing would try so hard to win his obsession over.

He'd tell you he's a prince, how he's turned down all other suitors just to win your heart.

He shows off his skills, offers you flowers, calls you the prettiest thing in his gaze (other than him).

However, he always gets the same answer.

You've either given your heart to another and/or see him as arrogant.

Cavendish is petty when it comes to his jealousy.

He'd be the type to glare at a picture of your lover or anyone you adore.

He'd definitely stab said picture or poster, curse their name, and lament about the fact you're not his.

A scary thing about Cavendish is the fact that he takes revenge very seriously.

He literally wanted to kill people who took his popularity.

I assume you being with someone else or at least interested in someone else would cause a similar reaction.

He'd be elaborate about it, too.

He'd make all these elaborate schemes to win your heart.

Many of which include cutting down your suitors with his sword.

He doesn't mind doing a bit of dirty work if it means proving to you he deserves your heart.

He struggles to be near those you're close to.

Cavendish feels like he wants to wring the neck of the one you love.

Is this how the people he turned down felt?

Did they also feel like they were going insane with want?

Cavendish would either challenge the one you loved to a duel... or kill them in private.

Maybe he could even blame it on his alter ego?

By the end of it he'd act like it was all some freak accident.

Only to be right there to woo you and be your shoulder to cry on.

See? He's supportive!

Do you like him now?

Please ignore the blood.

Cavendish definitely acts like your rejection didn't affect him...

Only to like... ugly cry over it later.

He follows you around and pretends when he meets with you it's a coincidence.

See? Even fate wants you two together!

Your rejection just makes this man delusional.

Too delusional, actually.

If he doesn't have your attention he may just lose it.

He loves attention but yours is so much better.

Your smile, voice, prowess, everything...

He'd be on his knees for you in a heartbeat.

Cavendish can come off as an intense yandere due to his jealousy and persistence.

He's clingy, volatile, violent towards others, petty...

For such a pretty man he's got quite the temperament.

Cavendish doesn't care if someone else has your heart.

He'll show you he's the better suitor.

He'll give you the best kisses, shower you in flowers and affection...

If that means painting the floor and walls red with the blood of that other person, so be it...

He'll have your attention in the end, he just knows it.

[nonconformityhub]

Mspec Lesbian Misconceptions

I still get exclusionary comments and reblogs on my friend's mspec lesbian infographic so I thought I'd make a sort of 'addon post' that answers basically everything!

Please check the infographic out! It's much shorter and it looks pretty

🌺 "Mspec always means that you're attracted to men"

⤷ Mspec is short for the 'multisexual (or other multi- attraction type) spectrum', meaning the attraction to multiple genders. Most folks who experience attraction to women and non-binary genders don't consider themselves mspec, but that doesn't mean that nobody can

⤷ As we understand the complexities of gender more and move past the 'only two genders' way, what counts as being bi or otherwise mspec will change

🌺 "There's no reason to reclaim old uses for the word lesbian from before lesbian separatism"

⤷ Lesbian separatists tried to exclude anyone that associated themselves with men or masculinity from lesbianism. This included bi people, trans people, butches and mascs, lesbians still married to men, lesbians living with men, and more. Some went as far as considering butch-for-femme relationships to be harmful. Why wouldn't people want to reclaim lesbian from a time before this ideology spread? See more here

🌺 "But bi women wanted to make their own spaces and stop using lesbian spaces and the lesbian label" ⤷ Obviously, some bi sapphics of the time would've wanted to be distinctly and only viewed as bi, and have no affiliation with lesbians, but plenty didn't. Implying that the rise of radical feminism in the lesbian community was wanted by all of the people they excluded is ridiculous. It wasn't a consensus

🌺 "Mspec lesbians just want to feel included in lesbian spaces"

⤷ You've hit the nail on the head actually, this isn't the gotcha you think it is. Mspec sapphics were originally welcome to use the word lesbian and exist in the lesbian community, and then they weren't, so some of them would like to be included again yes

🌺 "It takes away spaces that are just for monosexual lesbians"

⤷ There have been attempts made to create terms for monosexual lesbians (though usually people just mean 'not attracted to men' rather than monosexual), but the lesbian community thrived with bisexuals in it for a long time. Lesbian spaces are heavily dominated by monosexual lesbians as well

⤷ The real question here is why are you so keen to know for definite that nobody in your space is attracted to men? And what are you counting as 'attracted to men'? Are you assuming it based on dating habits? What label they use? What you consider to be attraction? Everyone views this stuff differently, you can't police it properly

🌺 "Lesbian can't be used in the split attraction model, it means no attraction to men at all"

⤷ Insisting that someone has to use 'homoromantic' rather than lesbian just because they're bisexual or vice versa is pointless. Not only is lesbian a more open and functional label (it specifies attraction to women and doesn't imply that the user is also a woman), but defining it as an absence of attraction to men is very 1970s lesbian separatist of you

🌺 + "If you're fluid between mspec and lesbian just say abrosexual", "If you heavily prefer women just say homoflexible" and so on so forth

⤷ There are probably terms that technically apply to you that you don't use because you're not connected to the label or it doesn't fit quite right. The same applies here. Abrosexual is very broad, homoflexible implies 'same gender' attraction to women, and we've established that there's nothing stopping them from using mspec and lesbian instead

[aibloomie]

since requests are open could I request smoke session headcanons with sally face? I sent an ask about it before but it wasn't a request, if you remember :)

take your time and it's okay if you don't write them

SMOKING WITH SAL FISHER AND LARRY JOHNSON

ahh yes !! i remember <3 I just HAD to write these for larry too so I hope that's alright (anyway guys don't do drugs, I feel like I'm obliged to say that 😎)

also just the thought of hugging sally and him smelling like cologne mixed with weed?? I need that

SAL FISHER

━ smoking sessions with sally usually take place up in the treehouse that literally only your friend group goes into. and ever since, the two of you like decorating the place and making it more cozy by adding some comfortable furniture

━ he isn't the laughing type, he doesn't get all giggly over everything you say or do. rather, he's calm because for once his head goes silent. but he'd definitely be amused if you were the type who found everything funny – it would make him smile and feel good. he's definitely the type who NEEDS company when he's high, otherwise it isn't a good experience for him because he could get paranoid

━ it's during these moments that the filter in his brain turns off for a while. he can't help but gaze over at you and watch the way the smoke hovers over your face when you exhale. he's more obvious with his feelings, becoming more touchy as the high hits and suddenly he finds himself leaning onto your body, relishing the comfort of being next to you.

━ he stares at you so much, just observing you. he has always found you very attractive, but god, your beauty is enhanced even more when he's high. he admires every single feature you hold

"you're so beautiful." sally says, looking up at you while he rests his head on your lap. you were with your back hitting the wooden wall because your body would surely fall over if you weren't stabilized by something.

you smiled widely and shook your head, "nah man, you're just high. your visions probably blurred." that applied to you, whenever you turned your head, everything felt like it was being slowed down.

sally shook his head, tickling your thighs with his blue strands of hair. "hey, I mean it." he then pushed his body up, looking right into your now lidded and relaxed eyes. he could no longer tell if the feeling of his heart pounding against his ribcage was because of the weed, or because of how you made him feel

━ the type who learns how to do tricks with the smoke !! if you ask, he'll teach you how to do some of them. and of course, he'll beg you to teach him any of the ones that you know.

━ he has the advantage of hiding that he's high really well because he usually has his mask on, but he still goes the extra mile to show that he is NOT high when he is. like when you two walk through the hallway practically leaning onto each other because you guys can't walk correctly. of course you had to bump into lisa cleaning something right?

"oh I haven't seen you two all day! be careful okay, I've been mopping so it might be slippery."

sal immediately tried to stand up straight, gulping before speaking to try and make his voice sound clear. "yeah, thanks." and as soon as you're walking away he's clinging onto you and asking if he sounded normal

━ he takes care of you really well !! he knows when you're at your limit and won't let you go overboard. and if you end up feeling sick then he'll be right by your side asking what you need and doing everything he can to make you feel better. you don't have to worry about "ruining" his high or anything, he just wants you to be okay

LARRY JOHNSON

━ he's so fun to get high with. he has a mixture of everything. the deep conversations that leave the two of you emotionally vulnerable and questioning life? check! chaotic karaoke as you two struggle to get your slurred voices out and eventually end up falling onto the floor? check!

━ HE GETS THE MUNCHIES like literally every five minutes he goes over to open his empty fridge and he comes back complaining. "dude! this sucks I have nothing, should we go buy something?"

"larry we can't even drive right now we're going to crash!" you whined, trying to get some common sense into him because hey, someone has to be just a LITTLE bit mentally stable in this situation right?

larry landed with a grunt onto his bed. "I'm too lazy anyway I feel like I'm melting, let's doordash yeah?" his voice was muffled because he was quite literally speaking with his face planted on his mattress.

and then larry can't type quickly AND he wants the entire menu so ordering doordash takes like an hour

━ larry doesn't make a strong effort to hide that he's high, because nobody in the town really cares. the adults and authorities simply do not get paid enough to care, the only person who might nag him about it is mrs. gibson but thankfully she rarely leaves her apartment. so yeah, he walks past people and does not even care that he smells like weed. he doesn't use eyedrops either, his eyes get glossy but not red.

━ he is definitely the type to come to school high, like this poor guy zones out so hard during class and is so confused when he's given a worksheet with math problems on it.

one time he turned over to the nearest person for help but didn't notice it was travis, "hey what are we doing again?"

"fuck off." travis retorted

"yeah okay."

━ he's kind of an instigator when he's high. you have an ex best friend you want to hit back up? he'll encourage you to go for it with slurred words, being all like "yeah dude, just do it and let me know—let me know what they say." and then the next morning he's like "what!? why did you send them that text? nonono, block them already!" then cue him chasing you around trying to steal your phone from you

BOTH OF THEM

━ the most comfortable place to smoke with both of them is in larry's basement with some sanity falls blasting in the background !! it's funny because sally and larry are drastically different in the way they act. so you'll just see sally laying down on the bed, his eyes closed because he's letting his body completely relax. and then there's larry whose mouth never closes because he voices all his thoughts

━ sometimes it'll only be you and larry talking because sally got the urge to play his guitar and he gets really focused !! so he kind of blocks everything out except for the noise that each string makes and the feeling of his finger pads pressing against them

━ sally is probably the most responsible one so he'll make sure that you and larry aren't doing anything TOO reckless. larry has the tendency of getting easily emotional so you and sally will have to provide him some comfort when that happens </3

━ the three of you have definitely gone to a store together at night for some snacks and ended up getting kicked out and banned because all of the shenanigans you pulled (most of it was larry)

[tls12lessthan3]

honestly i respect the grindset of people who even try to imagine kim dokja having sex at all ever 🫡🫡🫡 it's borderline impossible in my brain. he'd need like 50 years of getting comfortable with his sexuality And with the people who want him And being okay with even the tiniest bit of vulnerability before he'd even think about it. kudos to fic writers who would be willing to depict that mess tbh

literally. with all the issues he has it's really an uphill battle. honestly it's one i've just about given up except when im willing to play around a bit with characterisation. like i used to think that maybe if you made the sex a little less....vulnerable? it might work for him? e.g. friends with benefits sex where they're at least pretending it doesn't mean anything, hate sex, getting out post-battle adrenaline, etc etc. something where there would presumably be some extenuating circumstance or feeling kim dokja could blame for their desire to fuck him, rather than the incomprehensible idea that they just might want to. allow him to keep up that wall he's so fond of, and you might just be able to maneuver him into a position where he both feels safe enough to have sex and is able to believe that due some bizarre reason that does NOT include a genuine attraction to him the other person might want to do so.

but i've changed my opinion on that primarily because i don't think kim dokja is fully comfortable and happy with the distance he keeps between himself and others and i don't think emphasizing that barrier would ultimately let him have the best time getting down and dirty. like he definitely feels the most safe when he's got a nice thick wall between himself and anyone who might want to know him but i would also say, especially in moments that would otherwise be very emotional he feels anywhere from mildly embarrassed to actively upset that he is so far from everyone else. and i think that would be true for sex too. even though be built the wall himself! so i think he wouldn't be able to have sex unless he felt safe (aka, distanced from the proceeds and their emotional implications in some form) but neither would he be able to open up the way he needs to to enjoy himself. because he isn't the type to enjoy meaningless sex, he just isn't. i can't make that work in my interpretation of him. but he can't open up either!! so he's stuck!!

and then there's the issue of his shame surrounding sexuality and probably how he's internalized the title of virgin as thoroughly as he's internalized being a 'loser' in every other part of his life

anyway i used this ask pretty much as an excuse to ramble but yes ultimately i agree i can't see him having sex unless whoever he's having it with has been very carefully easing him into it AND its post epilogue where he has MAYBE eased up on some of his self-hatred and intimacy issues.

but because its a part of his character that is so rarely explored in text (chinese dress and gater belts aside) i do think it's really fun to see other people's interpretations of him and how he could be manuevered into having sex. its like a philosphical thought experiment to me. so ultimately me and you are saluting the kim dokja sex truthers together 🫡

[sternenschaukler]

Since this question keeps getting asked everytime a bingo with this square gets posted, here a (long) attempt to answer the question:

"Why isn't a romantic relationship just being best friends + more emotional and physical intimacy?"

For a long time I also didn't realize romantic attraction and romantic falling in love were actual strong emotions that are different from platonic love and an emotional bond, which is a big part of the confusion I think.

Personally I'd say that if and when a relationship starts feeling romantic is a bit different for everyone. (There doesn't always need to be romantic attraction involved to consider a relationship "romantic". For example see also: Cupioromantics) But: it is very much possible to sleep with someone you have an emotional connection with, without it immediately becoming a romantic relationship. (This type of thing is actually quite common for aros who never feel romantically attracted to anyone)

Like, if a relationship is friendship + physical intimacy, you can have a "friendship with benefits", and even allos agree that this doesn't automatically mean it's a romantic relationship. So obviously there needs to be some other element and sex is not the decisive factor.

However, you can also live in a house in a committed partnership with a best friend and care a whole lot about each other, tell each other everything without it being romantic. I'd say this is also a type of love, but more similar to loving a close family member. For example if you have a close relationship with your sibling, you can hug each other and it is definitely not romantic. Best friends can also be very close and touchy without it feeling romantic. IMO you can definitely love someone without being in love with them. Romantic attraction and being romantically in love is, from what i've heard and seen (and even according to some studies), supposed to feel distinctly different from close platonic friends who like to have sex sometimes

Another Example: A commenter once used this useful coffee/ tea analogy to explain:

(https://www.reddit.com/r/aaaaaaaarrrrro/s/W1r1friT7A)

Quote: << A very kind alloromantic friend described it to me the other day, that romantic feelings and friendship feelings are entirely different and cannot begin to be compared, despite the common sayings like "oh we're just friends" or "they're more than friends". He said, "On the bar of friendship your bar is filled to the top and it’s not possible to get any higher. But there’s not a drop of romantic attraction there. If I add more friendship liquid it goes into the friendship jug. Even at infinity litres of friendship there’s still no romantic liquid in the romantic jug."

It's kind of a "you can't possibly know what coffee tastes like if you've only ever drank tea" situation. From an aromantic and alloplatonic outside perspective, a romantic relationship might look like tea (friendship) and biscuits (affection) because tea and coffee look similar but the liquid in that cup is coffee (romance), and we know that coffee exists because seemingly everyone loves coffee and craves it, but if we've never craved coffee or wanted coffee or have never been able to taste coffee even when we did have it, then we can only really describe coffee by referencing tea.

I don't like the idea of coffee, never had coffee, don't know anything about what coffee is like besides what people say about it, don't particularly want coffee because I'm satisfied with what I've got, but I do like biscuits and I would totally dip those in tea so I have absolutely no idea what those coffee heads are experiencing. >> Quote end

[aritsukemo]

makoto naegi relationship headcanons???? 😉😉

Makoto Relationship Headcanons | Danganronpa

Warnings: None.

A/N: Request done! Will this lead to me doing every character in the franchise? Possibly.. Would I mind it if that did happen? Probably not-

↪ Makoto has a pretty average opinion on love. Like any other high school boy his age, he hopes for someone loyal and kind who will truly love him for him. It's pretty boring, but then again, love isn't really something he thinks about on a day to day basis. ( Or a month to month basis even )

↪ Makoto is an amiable and friendly guy so I can imagine him dating someone of the same nature. I don't imagine him genuinely loving someone with a meaner attitude, although I can see him falling for someone who's maybe a bit intimidated.

↪ Obviously if the person is a beauty, they'll catch his attention for a while, but if he finds out that they're not the best person, he'll lose interest pretty quickly. On the other hand, if the person is big and scary or has an overarching presence or reputation, but he learns that they're actually pretty friendly, seeds of a possible crush could plant itself in his heart.

↪ Basically what I'm saying is that overall he's just a big personality man.

↪ Now, when Makoto has a crush on someone, it's kinda obvious. He'd go out of his way to do things for them and stick around them as much as possible or sneak glances whenever he can depending on the kind of relationship he has with them. All this could completely fly over a person's head, though, since he does things like that for a lot of his friends more times than not.

↪ I don't imagine him confessing to them. In fact, the last thing I see him doing is telling the person how he feels because, I mean..why would he?? He's not anything special. He's not particularly attractive or skilled. He doesn't have any overarching qualities. There's no way someone would honestly want to date such an average loser like him, right? He certainly believes so.

↪ So imagine the surprise on his face if someone were to confess to him. Especially if that someone is an Ultimate, attractive, or special in any way.

↪ Makoto is a nervous, awkward wreck in a relationship. He's never experienced anything like this and has zero experience in the love department. On top of that, he thinks this'll never happen to him again which only adds onto his nerves which makes him fearful. He's scared of making a mistake and you leaving, y'know? :(

↪ Speaking of which, if you didn't know already, Makoto is kinda insecure and that insecurity will most definitely make it's appearance at some point in your relationship. Like, I can definitely see him asking his partner if their whole relationship is some elaborate joke or prank because his thoughts are making him believe that their love for him is not authentic. ( Nothing a little reassurance can't fix though )

↪ He's very reliant on your preferences to the point that it seems a bit ridiculous. He doesn't want to bore you or upset you or make you uncomfortable which causes him to be scared to intiate anything. ( Not that he was the type of person to really intiate anything more than holding hands anyways )

↪ All that is to say that if you give him the green light, he'll take it! Let him know that you like it when he talks about his own interest to you or when he compliments you. Reassure him that, yes, he can kiss your cheek and give you goodbye hugs. Welcome him with open arms when he hints at wanting to cuddle you in the comfort of your own homes! If he can convince himself it's alright and that you're comfortable with it, he'll act on his thoughts!

↪ Arguments with him usually ends amicably as Makoto isn't a very opinionated person. The only way I see him being stubborn is if you're life is in danger, and even then, you'll be able to tell that he's only being a little tough with you in order to protect you/keep you safe. ( Really personal and biased headcanon, but I see a lot of your arguments ending in warm hugs shared between the two of you )

↪ Vulnerable moments between the two of you come every once in a while and usually ends with either you curled into his arms or vice versa. Makoto isn't the best with words, but he has the heart and empathy to make up for it! That said, he's pretty damn good at cheering people up or, at the very least, you! In fact, he takes just a bit of pride knowing he's able to make you crack a smile after you had the shittiest day ever. At the same time though, he can't help but feel ashamed when it's the other way around and you're the one wiping away his tears and calming him down..

↪ Of course, dating can come with it's downsides. Makoto is a friendly individual whether he believes that as true or not and that doesn't only extend to his partner. Girls, boys, and everyone in-between, Makoto acts the same to just about everyone until he's given a reason to treat them differently. Not only that, but he ( especially pregame Makoto ) can be kind of a pushover at times which could lead to some not so great situations like, for example, missing a date or an event that meant a lot to you. ( Of course, he'll do whatever he can to make it up to you if that were to happen )

↪ I see a relationship with Makoto benefitting off of casualness and time. Give him some breathing room to dip his toes into the water. Try not to rush things. Have heart to hearts and let each other know of your boundaries. Makoto isn't one to complain when things make him upset or uncomfortable most times so make sure to have steady communication with him throughout the relationship and let him know that he can talk to you! With that, I'm sure your relationship will flourish and remain a beautiful flower for the years to come! :D

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[evangelinesbible]

MY ASTROLOGICAL LOVE LIFE

SO FAR...

This post will be about how I view love/relationships, the situations I find myself in because of these placements, and how people attracted to me view me because of these placements

TAURUS VENUS

Taurus Venus people typically want partners who are conventionally beautiful and have some sort of stability in their life. (meaning money and some sort of luxury). And for me yeah I gotta be with a partner who is gorgeous I'm sorry but I'm not. Of course other stuff matters and I've given not so attractive people a chance but I've learned that if I'm not fully attracted to them then it's not gonna happen. "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty but my goodness, doesn't it help?"

Now of course having a Venus ruled Venus can bless the native with beauty. And when I was younger I didn't experience it much but now that I'm older I see it more and more now. whatever type of beauty that I have, I getting certain treatment because of it. Now of course I've used it to my advantage cuz, you'd do the same thing don't lie. But people use the phrase, " Beauty is a curse" for a reason. Certain judgment and preconceived ideas people have of you because of your looks is very real and it transfers into my love life.

Of course I want people to find me attractive and I want a partner that sees me as beautiful but that's not all I want. just like me wanting a gorgeous partner, I also want a stable, reliable, and romantic one. But of course on my end of things my love life has just been, "I think she's hot/pretty/beautiful/" and that's it. its getting stale pretty fast.

VENUS 9H

9H can rule over what you believe in/ worship and having Venus in the 9H can mean that your partners may have a tendency to put you on a pedestal and "worship" you. When I was younger this wasn't that apparent but now that I'm older and in the "real world" I experience it more and more. And don't get me wrong I believe I should be treated like a queen and I should be thoroughly respected but it creeps me out when men come on to me so strong. One of them wanting to take a road trip with me, wanting to run away with me and would always call me a princess and shit when we weren't even together?!?!?!!

I don't even want to know what men are saying about me in private.

VENUS SQAURE NEPTUNE

not only gives me a false security in the illusion of love it also gives other an illusion of me. Venus ruling beauty and Neptune ruling Glamor/Illusion/Fantasy makes love life more complicated than it needs to be. These people might be seen as a dream or unreal to others which on paper sounds cool but its not that fun to experience

Similar to Venus 9H you are put on a pedestal but this time the version of you that these people are lusting/loving or obsessed over isn't real. Or at the very least they are projecting a version of you that you aren't all the time. I don't even want to know what type of fantasies or false perceptions guys have on me. I'm all about trusting my intuition and every guy that was ever interested in me gave me that vibe.

I feel like this placements can indicate someone having high standers because no one can meet the love life these people dream of. But it being square means that I'll have to learn to let go of some of their illusions of love and to truly experience it.

NORHT NODE CONJ. VENUS

In this life the themes of Venus are very important and my souls missions involves all things beauty, love, and the Arts.

specifically with love the major lessons ill learn in this life will be associated with all of my relationships. The first lesson I learned through a relationship was that you can't change people no matter how badly you want two. the second one was you don't owe anybody a relationship just because they treat you the way you should be treated. And I have a feeling I got a lot more lessons to learn

combined with my 7H placements and this aspect I think in this life I was meant to figure what love is to me.

VENUS TRINE JUPITER

Apparently because I have this aspect I'm supposed to be "lucky in love" and yeah no thats not the case for me. This more tells me what type of partner I should settle for. And it makes since that I have yet to be lucky in love because I keep dating people from my hometown/area.

I have no doubt I'll have more luck dating people from far away/foreign places.

VENUS SEXTILE SATURN

explains my pickiness in love/relationships and fathers my previous point of learning a lot of lessons through love/relationships

this might indicate finding the right person for me at a later age and/or learning to date more mature people

VENUS SEXTILE URANUS/URANUS 7H

I always wondered why I get so bored when dating people or having short lived relationships and this makes a lot of sense. the people I pursue have to keep up my attention or ill get bored and end it abruptly

this also explains getting into strange, unique and unconventional situations pertaining to potential partners/romantic interests. Right now I'm dealing with multiple guys at work having a crush on me so thats great. And one of them spikes my anxiety and paranoia because my gut intuition doesn't trust him.

this placement can also indicate someone being very conflicted or closed off on relationships. they crave something unconventional or something different from a normal relationship. These people also love their freedom and don't want a relationship that feels limiting

SUN 7H

the big whammy in my chart. people with Sun the 7H typically really crave love even though it might go against how they project themselves since its the opposite sign of their rising. These people can feel very lonely in life when they don't feel like they have a special someone to love them for them

I'm in the "I don't want a relationship" phase rn which is probably a 7H Sun's worst nightmare lol or at least the most difficult thing for them to go through cuz thats legit all they want. hell its all I want but its not something I need right now. Plus good things comes to those who wait and while I wait I'm just gonna do me and focus on my blog, work, and music.

Do you have any of these placements? Do you view love the same as me? Have you experienced the same experiences as me? 💋

-⚜️💫⚜️

[greater-than-the-sword]

Hey so I'm a 15 year old who hates being skinny and has tried for two years to gain weight without much success. I feel unfeminine and less of a woman because of how skinny I am and I hate it. I eat a lot but I can't seem to gain weight. Do you have any tips for slowing down my metabolism?

Hmm. I'm not a doctor, and I also havent seen your body so idk if your weight is healthy or if you're too dysmorphic to be sure, but....

There's nothing unfeminine or lesser about being lean, having small breasts, and so forth. That is just a body type that some women have. It doesn't mean that you can't be attractive. Many women including runway models also typically have small breasts and thin figure.

But, since you're only 15, I think you should simply wait it out. I doubt there is anything wrong with your metabolism. It's very common for teenagers to experience extreme weight fluctuations. You will continue growing likely until the age of 19 or even later. Don't panic if you later put on weight again. It will probably happen.

[justagaymoth]

Answering a question from 119 out of this world (sorry Tumblr won't let me tag you)

They asked "what does being aplatonic and loveless mean and what is your experience"

I think I have made several post about being loveless and aplatonic but those are old posts and I post a lot

Anyways

Aplatonic means little to no platonic attraction or platonic feelings

It doesn't always mean you don't have or want friends but it can

Aplatonic is a spectrum just like all other aspec labels

My experience is not everyone's experience

Now for basic definition of loveless

Loveless is a term anyone can use even if you are not aspec or even queer

Loveless means you feel disconnected from love as a concept for any reason

You can be repulsed by the word love

But you can also be loveless and sometimes say Iove you to people

I personally am a mix of these two statements

I pretty much only love a few people

And that doesn't make those people special or the one

In one of those people is my younger sister so that would be incest

Anyways I don't feel love often

But that doesn't mean I don't care about people and I'm a very social and kind person

I just don't feel anything in my heart for my most people

The main attractions I feel are sexual and sometimes romantic

And familial attraction for my younger sister

I feel care for people as a whole and some people in my life

For me care and love are not the same thing

Love is a feeling

Care is a set of behaviors

I don't feel love very often but I do care a lot about the people I like in my life

I don't usually like it when people besides my parents and siblings say the words I love you

It makes me grossed out and anxious because I probably can't love them and I definitely don't love them as much they do

Sometimes I love the person I'm dating but usually I don't for a long time

But I still feel attraction to my partners usually mostly sexual with alterous or romantic mixed in

But sexual attraction is the first attraction I feel for partners

I am mostly allosexual

I experience sexual love for my online friend (Emma)

Sexual love is like being in love but instead of romantically it's sexually

Like I love them because I want to fuck them

Sexual love and family love are the main two types of I feel

I feel the most sexual love

If I think you are sexy and someone flirts with me and keeps talking to me

And I say I'm in love it's sexual not romantic

If you can't tell I'm aromantic allosexual and aplatonic

Now on to the aplatonic side of things

I don't want to have the number of friends I have it is way too many

And it's overwhelming

I feel grossed out when people I don't know call me friend because I'm aplatonic and don't usually seek out friends they mostly come to me

I'm a people magnet lol

I would be happier if I had a small polycule instead of a friend group because I don't like having a friend group because I'm aplatonic and don't usually feel Platonic attraction

Having more than one close friend is hard for me because I'm aplatonic and autistic

I feel like I'm supposed to love my friends but to be honest I don't

I would not mind if I drifted apart from most of them and only had her (the girl I make posts about)

I just don't feel attachments to most of them because I'm loveless and aplatonic

This is just me every loveless and aplatonic person is different

[echodrops]

If the "straight women are much more likely to write a spicy and well-written m|m romance with complex male characters because they're naturally attracted to men" claim is correct, then why do straight male authors have acquired the stereotype of writing one-dimensional female characters and lame romances if they're naturally attracted to the opposite gender? Why do they prefer to focus so extensively on the male characters and their bromances then?

First, I think we need to clarify: Absolutely nowhere did I say the spicy mlm fanfics were uniformly "well-written." 😂 There are beautiful gems among fanfiction that have moved me to tears like nobody's business, but there's also just a whole lot of... not very... philosophically deep works out there. I don't want to sound mean, but just being brutally honest, I'd wager if we considered all fanfiction across all fanfic sites, a pretty solid majority of it wouldn't meet most people's definitions of truly "well-written." (Which is completely fine! Fanfic writers aren't getting paid! They're usually amateur authors who are writing for fun and often include younger writers just learning the ropes of grammar and character building for the first time! A fic doesn't have to be perfect to be enjoyable for readers!)

On top of that, let's also just be real--a lot of the explicit-content-for-explicit-content's-sake fics out there aren't really trying to write the most realistic and three dimensional male characters ever. They're trying to write sexy fics; realistically depicting men with life-accurate emotional depth and nuance is often... not the goal. 😂

Of course there are standout fanfics and incredible fanfiction authors. But, if we're being 100% transparent, I think a solid majority of fanfic authors don't actually write male characters that well. A lot of them have limited development, unrealistic or unclear motivations, out-of-character behavior, or a lack of interiority to their thoughts and feelings. A lot of times male characters in mlm fics are even reduced to caricatures of what women want men to do and feel. (I'm not judging here though--if a woman author is writing for women and her women readers want to see men who meet women's expectations, then hey, give the audience what they crave!) Just like Disney princes, a lot of men in fanfiction would seem very unrealistic and flat if you compared them to actual men from the real world!

I think we fanfic readers are just a bit biased, you know. If you're an average fanfic reader, I'm sure you've had the experience many times of being willing to give fic writers the benefit of the doubt even if their works aren't perfect--far more than you would give an actual published author or TV showrunner.

We don't scrutinize fanworks to the same extent that we scrutinize published media. Most people aren't grabbing someone else's fic and writing a ten page essay on how their male love interest wasn't properly fleshed out. Fanfic is full of poorly written men too, we're just not looking for the writing flaws when we read fanfics, at least not to the extent that meta analysts notice flaws in published media.

Side note that I also think is worth thinking about here: Because most fanfiction readers are female (and statistics suggest that a majority are even cisgender women), I think we're already at a slight disadvantage. Do female readers really have the most accurate perspectives on what realistic and three dimensional men would feel or act like? People are people, of course, but my perspective as a cisgender woman is never going to be as "100% genuine" as the perspective of someone who actually identifies as a man.

Second, and sorry, I know this is already long, but I think it's actually a mistake to buy into the stereotype that a majority of male authors can't write believable and interesting female characters. I think this illusion comes because fanfic fandoms congregate around very specific types of media, and often (though of course not always) that media is geared toward younger audiences. The bulk of the fandom claims that "male authors suck at writing women" come out of the shounen anime and young adult genres which are so prevalent in fandom spaces.

The target audiences for both these types of media are teenagers, who (I'm going to be completely honest) are usually not that picky about the development of the characters in the stories they read. I don't mean that no teenagers care about well-written stories (obviously there are many who do!), but that the typical standard for philosophical depth and nuance to which media for young adults is held is, for better or worse, lower than the standard we hold media for adults to.

We don't expect Twilight to be as deep as Moby-Dick. We don't expect My Hero Academia to be Maus.

This isn't an insult to young adult media; we have different genres of content for different reasons, and I definitely would not have wanted every single manga I read as a teenager to be as mentally or spiritually challenging as Moby-Dick. Content for teenagers should be designed to resonate with teenagers, both intellectually and emotionally. Many works for teens can have excellent writing and punch above their target audience demographic too. But the bulk majority of teenage readers are not (yet) going to be experts in literary criticism and sociocultural theories, capable of pounding out advanced meta analyses of the gender dynamics of characters in their favorite stories. Some will, but most won't.

Stories for young adults just don't have to hold up to that level of scrutiny, at least among their target audience.

At its core, however, the issue with the lower standards for depth of character building in young adult media is that it corresponds with lower standards for becoming popular as an author in fields such as YA lit and shounen manga. You don't have to be Leo Tolstoy or Emily Brontë to gain recognition among younger audiences. Sometimes, you don't even have to be good. Twilight was a roaring success, even while people lambasted it for being poorly written.

You don't have to be a literary giant whose books will be short-listed for addition to the canon of classical literature to develop a massive online fandom; Voltron was insanely popular despite being terribly written. 😂 You don't have to be god's gift to storytellers to become a popular shounen mangaka; Naruto is still one of the most popular manga in history and I hope no one genuinely thinks its characters were masterfully developed.

I'm not saying it doesn't take talent! It absolutely does! What I believe is that there's just not a guaranteed correspondence between "this author is popular and has a huge fandom" and "this author is actually good," especially in genres where the target audience is younger and therefore a little less likely to deeply critique the media they consume. Even if your characters--male or female--aren't that well-written, you can still get very, very popular in internet fandoms, especially with younger and more forgiving audiences, where only the rare few in the fandom will dedicate hours of their lives to performing meta analysis of your work, picking apart the writing quality and development of your characters.

So, long story longer: It's not that male writers overall are incapable of writing women. It's that a lot of fandoms spring up around kind-of-poorly written stories in the first place, and male authors who are not great at writing in general are equally unlikely to be great at writing women.

In fact, I'd suggest that male writers who are poor at writing women are probably also not great at writing men. Like, come on, don't tell me you think Bakugou and Midoriya's writing was good by the end of My Hero Academia.

Many popular authors with big fandoms are just being given more of a pass when it comes to writing poor male characters than they are with their female characters, and I'd argue that's likely because of the same reason I highlighted before: Their fandoms are dominated by women who like men and are willing to do more work to flesh out/fix the male characters they're interested in.

(It also helps that, with an overwhelming number of fic writers being female, they have less insight into truly depicting the male experience in authentic ways in the first place; if you are a woman, you're more likely to recognize a poorly written female character on the spot, while having at least slightly less ability to identify the unrealistic or inaccurate elements of male characters.)

Essentially, it's confirmation bias in action: We think men don't understand women, so we scrutinize male writers' depictions of women very closely, all while giving a pass to the fact that a lot of these writers just kind of suck at writing men too.

The "lame romances" in stories written by men aren't exclusively lame because of flat female characters--if the female character is flat, half the time the male character is flat too, and the romance is lame because the writer overall is... kind of lame... 😂

But why all the bromances? I wrote about this in my big long essay before, and I think there's plenty of very complicated reasons that men write so many male-male friendships and relationships into their story (re: coming from genuinely misogynist cultures, deliberately baiting fans with hints of BL, an actual internalized desire for greater emotional connection with fellow men due to perceived male loneliness, self-projection into their own characters, having been told they aren't good at writing women so they've given up, etc. etc.), but I honestly think one of the simplest reasons is genre. The majority of these "bromances" are coming from shounen manga, and shounen manga has some very common recurring tropes, chief among them being the whole "me and my ~RIVAL~" dynamic.

A lot of mainstream shounen stories have had such enormous success with this "young male protagonist and his best bro/rival/arch-enemy" dynamic that, frankly, I think many modern manga are just piggy-backing on the trope. "Dudes who beat each other up and become besties" has worked for so many series now that it's just become a staple of the entire genre.

I also think the market for Japanese manga in particular is very unique, with male manga artists recognizing--and capitalizing--on the power of the "fujoshi" reader early on. It's easy for shounen manga artists to see the benefits of over-stocking their stories with male characters and queerbait, because hinting at mlm ships they have no intention of ever paying out on 1) rarely reduces their male readership and 2) actually broadens their readership dramatically by deliberately bringing in female readers.

Basically, so long as the endgame is a het ship (or at least no ship), male readers will still read a story even if it has mlm shiptease, while more women will be drawn to the story for the mlm shiptease when they otherwise might not be that interested. There's no way to lose.

In essence, on the topic of queerbait, the shounen manga artists were just really savvy and realized faster that "having your cake and eating it too" is possible by incorporating a higher number of male-male relationships in their stories in order to broaden their readership and sales. Comparatively, western media was just much slower to cotton on to this technique, and I'd say it wasn't until relatively recently that western series have begun hyper-emphasizing male-male relationships specifically to appeal to women readers and viewers (see Supernatural, Good Omens, probably Teen Wolf [I don't actually go there so I can't confirm but I feel like this is true lol], etc.).

And, one final sidenote: I think it's difficult to compare published media to fanfic in terms of "featuring what you're sexually attracted to" because in published media, people are at least supposed to pretend their own sexual preferences aren't entirely warping the story, especially in young adult series (which have the biggest fanfic fandoms). Like... Compare: If you're a shounen manga artist you can get away with some panty shots but you can't be a flat out gooner--conversely, if you're a fanfic writer, you can write hardcore porn without hesitation. If we want to make an actual comparison in how much sex appeal sways character gender ratios in fanfic versus published media, I'd say the only comparable match would be comparing the ratio of female characters in harem anime and straight up hentai to the ratio of men in fanfics. We can't be out here comparing like... the original story content of Harry Potter (made for children, cannot be overly sexual) to its AO3 content (where nearly 40% of all HP fics are labeled explicit/mature). You gotta compare 18+ apples to apples.😂

Phew, sorry, that was a lot.

tl;dr: Tons of factors--yes, including misogyny--affect how men write women, but the issue of male writers being bad at writing women is likely being exaggerated in fandom spaces because 1) Fandoms are overwhelmingly female and women are better able to identify and critique poorly written female characters than anyone else, 2) Most of the biggest fandoms on the internet center around stories for younger audiences who haven't had enough time to develop strong media literacy and literary criticism skills, allowing writers to become popular without necessarily needing to be of highest quality, 3) Female fans are more willing to forgive poorly written male characters because they're more likely to be interested in and attracted to those male characters, and 3) A lot of writers just suck in general; it's not localized to just being shitty at writing women.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hello! If you don't mind, this is half a vent and half an ask both to you and to your followers who have had some experience?

I feel like I want certain aspects of a romantic relationship, the idea of having someone "special" is very appealing. Especially since I find myself falling in the trap of romance tropes, and I really do feel that I want to find that one person who I'd feel safe being physically close with, and not just because I turn my brain off to suffer through it but to actually enjoy it.

I know that I'm rather attracted to men, in theory at least, but whenever there's even remotely a thought in my brain that a polite conversation may turn into something more I get nervous, kinda in a bad way. I feel like I want to put a barrier in and I'm afraid they'll be reading into my behaviour too much. It makes me feel as if I like to play pretend in my head but I'm too much of a coward when real life gets involved.

I've been identifying as ace for years now, and I just turned 24. No experience in the dating department, I've been slowly making my way to accepting being at least arospec as well, possibly just aro, but for some reason it's been so much harder for me. Asexuality just clicked. This I think I may be fighting because the idea of a relationship seems too nice to give up and I've already had a bad experience with an extremely undernegotiated QPR (ended quickly but left a bitter taste nevertheless).

I just wish I could not think about it? But I also feel like the societal expectations of romantic attraction are much more pressing than sexual one. I don't want to lead anyone on, and I don't want to feel this little bit of dread whenever I have a conversation with a guy who I know doesn't have a girlfriend. That's another sign of being aro, right? Being able to be comfortable only when the possibility of the other party wanting you romantically is non-existent.

Sorry for this being so long. Thank you for listening, either way.

Romance definitely has a hard to explain quality to it, and I think that can make it questioning if you're aro especially tricky. It is possible that anxiety you're feeling when a situation could turn romantic is a form of repulsion. It's not uncommon for romance repulsion to feel more like anxiety or nervousness, and for people feel like wanting to go and hide. Alloromantic people can be nervous too sometimes, but it usually comes with a feeling of anticipation and still being drawn to the other person. Or they will usually have either trouble with anxiety in other areas, or issues with romance (romance related trauma for example). Sometimes it can be tricky to know exactly what it is, but if the stuff below doesn't sound like you at all, than repulsion is a likely explanation.

The other thing I would point is that fully alloromantic people often have people in real life they are experience a romantic pull towards, who they really want to be in a romantic relationship with. And if you're not experiencing that, that could also be a strong sign of being aromantic.

Being aromantic, and even romance repulsed, if you are, does not mean you can't have a very important person in your life. I know you mentioned a QPR that didn't go well, and it's up to you if that's something you ever want to try again, but even if you don't. remember that deep bonds can come in all forms of relationships. All types of relationships, including friendships, familial relationships, etc. have the potential to be very special of very deep if you end up connecting to someone in the right way. So whatever path you choose to take, don't feel like this isn't possible.

I'll throw this out followers too if anyone wants to share their own thoughts or advice.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[lambilegs]

Just thought about lee teacher x reader student👀 not necessarily school type setting, just her showing you something but i imagine her being annoyed with u while you're teasing her on purpose or something like that? or roles reversed. (Reader showing her some recipe and she purposely keeps messing it up to get them riled up lmao) PS i also think her perfectionism makes her good cook

lee teaching reader something and reader being a menace + vice versa

note to anon: LOVE THIS!! like, yeah, both these ideas just have so much teasing and playfulness involved, I adore them. especially considering we don't always see lee in that teasing sort of position, so yeah hehe. thank you so much for the request!! and honestly, yeah, I could see her being such a stickler for exact directions during cooking, but then also, fumbling and panicking sm during her first few times HAHA contains: not proofread, suggestive stuff but nothing explicit, lots of teasing from reader and then lee, making out, implied post-story sex, my very limited knowledge of woodwork from the class I took at sixteen LMFAO pls bare w me

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ::✼✿ ✿✼:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

"so, do I put it against it on this side?" you inquire, raising an eyebrow at lee.

she shakes her head. "no. flip it around, otherwise the wrong edge will get rounded. and remember to secure the fence."

your lips quirk. "has that ever happened to you? the wrong edge getting rounded."

"unfortunately."

with a laugh, you follow her directions, turning the block of wood around on the surface router. much to lee's surprise, two nights ago, you had tugged on the end of her t-shirt, requesting that the two of you build a shelf together to commence you moving into her cottage. you had heard of the idea from one of your friends, and since then, hadn't been able to detach the novelty and romance away from the idea building something with your partner that you two get to live with forever. when you told, as her head rested on the crook of her elbow, her eyes had scanned you warily, lips pressing together.

you couldn't blame her for the hesitation. you don't have all that much experience when it came to woodwork, but the silver lining is that lee does. which means that, while she now has to deal with the brunt of the work in guiding you, you guys at least get to work on something together. a rarity considering most of her time is spent on investigations, something she usually tries to keep away from you.

plus, another pro is -- well, checking her out, really. she doesn't let you carry anything heavy, the rippling tones of her arms flexing when she does so herself. and when she does anything with her hands, even when it's simply sanding a plane of wood, you can't help but linger on the way her knuckles bend and curl with each movement, her veins sticking out as she does so. even now, as she prepares to use the router, and bends down to check where the button to turn it on is, she, so enticingly, stretches out her back as she straightens up. you bite your lip at the sight of the soft muscle there rolling and tensing.

the sudden attraction surging through you for your girlfriend has your stomach flipping in giddiness, and you lean in her direction with a grin. "you sure it won't happen again now that I'm here?"

"why would it? will you try to mess with me?"

"no!" you scoff. "because, you know, I might distract you." your tone shifts to a lower, more teasing tone, usually reserved to the privacy of her -- no, actually, your guys' -- bedroom.

she blinks at you. "you won't. woodwork can be risky, so I'm gonna focus."

you sigh at the total miss. "I was flirting, bozo."

"oh." she blinks at you, then turns back to the router. "well, still applies."

you pout as she softly grabs your wrist and tugs you to the table. "okay, now, what do you do?"

your eyes wryly skim along the machine. "I can drag the wood along it now?"

her lips fold in together, a small huff sliding from her nose. "no. you need to secure the fence. I just told you this."

your shoulders writhe slightly, embarrassment creeping through you. "I was distracted."

"I thought you were the one doing the distracting."

you roll your eyes, grumbling below your breath, "that doesn't mean we aren't at equal risk."

"the only thing we're at equal risk for is getting injured if you don't focus. now pay attention and lock the fence."

her firm tone, though lacking in bite and still gentle, has you frowning. in the throes of giddiness of just how goddamn hot your girlfriend it, part of you is petulant over the desire for her attention.

"but, don't you want to know why I'm distracted?" you ask, your voice teetering onto a singsong rhythm.

she spares you a momentary glance, eyebrow slightly arched. you know it's her silent way of telling you to proceed.

"well..." you trail off, leaning close to her so that no one else hears you. "you look really hot right now."

her nostrils flare slightly, and your lips quirk at the heaving weight her breaths take on. it may sound slightly sadistic of you, but there's something entirely satisfying in watching lee's usual cool, calm and collected state shatter because of your teasing, whether it's due to embarrassment, arousal, annoyance or a head-spinning combination of all three.

"not now -- we need to focus."

"but, how can you expect me to do that when you're here, in a tank top?" you reply, curling your fingers around her firm bicep and giving it a squeeze, which makes her lips tighten even more.

"I trust you can control yourself."

"lee," you sigh, tugging on the bottom of her tank.

she swats your hand away, eyes darting around your surroundings before her hand moves to your lower back, gently turning you to the machine. "later. now do it."

"only after you do me." you know how ridiculous you sound now, but you can't help it -- she's too cute to resist teasing.

she shoots you a sharp look, her wide, brown eyes narrowed in clear irritation. "we're in public."

"and? last time I checked, you didn't mi--"

"and last time I checked, building shelves together was your plan. not flirting with while I try to teach you how to do things."

"but, you just make for a hot teacher." you shrug, plastering on a mockingly innocent smile. "it's not my fault."

"and it's mine, is it?" she quietly asks, eyes flicking up to you in question.

"yes, all yours."

she hums, fingers rasping on the wood, before nodding to herself.

"what?" you ask, your curiosity sparked.

"if I'm playing teacher here, then I guess we have to go off a reward-punishment system, right?"

a warm feeling immediately swarms into your stomach, spreading and sending your body hot. "what does that mean?"

she tilts her head at you, the ghost of a smile kissing her lips. "finish the wood, and you'll get anything you want tonight. don't, and..." she ghosts her fingertips along your belt loop, giving it a slight tug. "you're aware of what I can do."

you swallow hard, your abdomen beginning to ache at the reminder of all her past punishments. "I, um-- yeah."

"get started, then."

mind feeling quite soft and malleable now, you nod, feebly picking up the wood, your face set aflame from her words.

lee watches you carefully. "at least I know now for future reference."

"oh, shut up," you huff, glaring when her lips curl up.

--

lee's mouth twists in amusement as she watches you stir relentlessly, your wrist a muddled flash as you turn it over and over again.

"I don't get it," you half-wail, face contorted in frustration. "I added the exact measurements, how is it still clumpy?"

lee feels a bit guilty, but she can't help but feel a spark of fondness flicker in her chest from watching you get so frustrated and devoted to this recipe. your eyebrows are furrows in intent focus, your mouth pinched into a frown, your nose scrunched as though the mixing bowl is your personal enemy. it's cute.

but, as time passes, and you abandon the bowl momentarily to wipe at the counter, pressing the wet paper towel into the smears and coating of flour, her stomach begins to tighten in a way that's all too familiar when it comes to you. your pants of exhaustion, the way you release those soft grunts, even the sweat lining your brow. she can't help but be reminded of the night before, when you wore such a similar expression while lee was towering over you, fingers pressed into your cheeks as she teased you in a low voice for being so needy.

that mental image is enough to know she'd like to prolong this -- at least, as subtly and tamely as possible. she doesn't want to completely ruin your recipe, but maybe just nudge your buttons for her own self-satisfaction. you seem to enjoy doing it to her all the time, so perhaps there's some merit in it.

and so, she adds a mere half-teaspoon of milk when you order her to add more fluids to the cake before leaving to use the bathroom. minutes later, when you're still stirring aimlessly, bottom lip jutting out, you whine, "why isn't it working?"

she shrugs. "I added half a teaspoon."

your head snaps up to her, eyes bulging out. "half a teaspoon? lee, what the fuck difference is that gonna make?"

she nearly snorts, but she tries, to the best of her ability, to remain neutral. not too difficult, considering it's her automatic expression always. "you said that every ingredient makes a difference. I didn't want to add too much and ruin it further."

"okay, one, me saying that applied to steps way more important than this, and two, please do not imply it's already ruined," you grumble, stomping off the the fridge to grab more milk.

"I mean, but it is," she remarks, eyes flicking to the dry, crumbled mess of your batter. "but, that doesn't mean it's not fixable."

"if it's fixable, that means it's not ruined."

"I don't think the term 'ruined' inherently comes with the implication something being irredeemable."

you shoot her a glare. "since when did you swap 'special agent' for 'english prof'?"

she's unable to resist the twitch in her mouth this time, trying to hide it with a sip from her water. she knows it's desperate of her, but honestly? there's something attractive about you giving her such a stern, authoritative look.

when you finally get the batter to your desired texture, you groan about being tired, requesting lee with an apologetic kiss to chop the chocolate while you rest, scurrying to the living room before she can protest (not that she'd ever truly deny you, you both know that).

when you pop your head back into the kitchen, she's already forcing down a smile when you innocently ask, "is it done?"

"yeah. dark chocolate, right?"

"lee!" you nearly screech. "they're gonna taste so bitter! this is why I asked you to get milk chocolate yesterday, and now--"

lee, just as she does in group discussions with coworkers, tunes you out, picking up a piece of the chopped up milk chocolate and slowly making her way to the spot you're frozen on, rambling as your voice hits pitches she's only ever heard in very different contexts. your hair is unruly, your bottom lip is swollen with how much you've bitten it, and lee feels very desirous to kiss you.

as your lips form the perfect o, lee slides the small piece of chocolate into your mouth, her eyes trained on your wet, slippery lips as you take it in so obediently, a smear of it swiped in the corner.

as you chew on it, your face relaxes, soon followed by a frown. "were you messing with me?"

she hums, smoothing her thumb over your mouth. "a few times, actually."

you splutter. "I-- of all the times-- of all the times you joke, this--this is when you choose to do it? why, what's even--"

she cuts you off without a moment's hesitation, her lips slotting over yours, tongue prodding at that sweet bit of chocolate that got to be tucked into the best place possible.

a soft gasp from you gives her the perfect opportunity to worm her tongue into your mouth, playfully flicking yours as your mouths grow slick and dripping with it. the taste of the chocolate seeps into her mouth, and she holds back from moaning as you two swap the sweetness of it.

when she parts from you, the hot moist of your breaths still mixing in together, she whispers. "you just-- you looked good angry." now that she's forced to admit it, she realizes just how ridiculous the entire thing sounds.

her eyes tentatively raise to you, widening when she sees not judgement, not confusion, but that half-lidded look you get when she does something you relish in, like working out from home.

before she can dissect it further, you're right back on her, messily kissing her as you yank her by the collar of her shirt. "bedroom. now."

a stifled laugh comes from her. "but, the cookies--"

"later, later," you mumble, pushing her onto her back before climbing on with a grin that has lee's stomach flipping. "I'll give you a real chance to enjoy some frustration now."