#just because sometimes my plurality sucks

[imjustaf444keriguess]

oh boy this is long i do not have the brain power or energy to argue properly but like...

what if someone was plural and felt euphoria and joy in being themselves as multiple people? what if they experienced a form of plurality that wasn't caused by a disorder?

OCD isn't the only way you can have compulsions, depression isn't the only reason you might feel apathetic and down in the dumps, and DID/OSDD isn't the only way to have a plural identity. does that make sense?

being plural is a complex concept that is extremely personal too. it can be defined by euphoria and feeling comfortable in your own skin. as a system who has trauma, it's weird for you to insist that systemhood is defined by trauma alone. our experience as a system is not constant suffering, just like how our experiences with gender isn't constant dysphoria.

you're acting like it's so different but to me it's like "no listen MY bigotry is GOOD because i think this thing is SOLELY this one thing and can never be different! if you're different and don't experience my agonies you're just a faker"

transmeds would look at me not wanting to get surgeries and call me fake because i don't experience "real dysphoria" with my body, and that i'm claiming to be a trans person without suffering like they do.

i see the exact same thing with sysmeds, except with something that's still considered part of a disorder* in the DSM, so others are allowed to be hateful towards people with similar experiences of plurality because it's totally part of a disorder and can't be anything outside of that. it's not like most other disorder symptoms are experienced in non-disordered people sometimes! that never happens!

(* i think gender identity disorder is still technically a disorder bc of medical stuff but i also think that's a fine thing to have in the DSM, struggling with your identity and feelin like shit because of it and needing medical treatment for your gender and body is a valid experience. it's just not the only gender experience, same with plurality and systemhood)

tldr look in the mirror and reread your texts a bit because you really sound like a transmed just for systemhood

What the fuck is a sysmed.. You mean to tell me we're medicalizing... a medical disorder..? Oh no oh jeez so scary be careful I might TRAUMATIZE you with my SYSMED-NESS 😱😱😱😱

[wolfertinger666]

sometimes I doubt my plurality and think I'm just a faker but honestly I'm not surprised I am plural as well considering the shit I went through plus growing up in a doomsday cult. my own experiences are quite complex, and like I talk about it because I want other systems to know they shouldn't be scared or feel ashamed. it just sucks when people think they know me better than I do and try to fake claim me and that in result, messes with my own consciousness.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I’m saving up my Welsh questions so I’m not a total bother!!

1. I can broadly understand why location names in Wales are different in English (colonialism ☹️) but can you explain Castell-nedd v Neath? Maybe I haven’t gotten far enough yet but it seems to be an outlier in that they just dropped a whole part of the name?

2. Cinio v swper, I’m assuming (perhaps incorrectly hence the checking) that cinio = noon meal and swper = evening meal? Is that right or is it backwards?

3. I am deeply interested in the etymology of llun because it appears to be both a picture and (+ dydd) Monday. Are they linguistically connected??

4. Speaking of days. Am I right in inferring that dydd iau means Thursday and ddydd Iau means on Thursday? I can’t quite differentiate why the spelling changes.

5. Speaking of days part two. Nos Mercher v bore dydd Mercher. Why does nos appear to drop the dydd? Does bore ever do the same?

6. Moving away from days. There seems to be no difference between dych chi’n and wyt ti’n as far as I can tell. Are they interchangeable or are they formal/informal like vous/tu? Or is this a dialect thing like different regions??

7. I am learning about eisiau and I have a question about contractions. It appears to be dw i’n mwynhau but dw i eisiau. Why no ‘n?? I know the i’n is i yn so where’s the yn with eisiau? 🤔

Welsh my beloved you are so fun to learn but Duolingo sucks at explaining nuance.

HA okay *cracks knuckles*

1. Location names are always a bit of a wildcard between languages, because sometimes they corrupt differently and sometimes they have wildly different origins and meanings in the first place. Castell Nedd - Neath is actually a relatively mild one; it's just that people abbreviated it more in English than in Welsh. A similar thing happened to Penybont ar Ogwr - Bridgend.

By contrast, Abertawe - Swansea is totally different, with different meanings. Ditto Drefdraeth - Newport, Caergybi - Holyhead, etc. Wild shit.

2. Like a lot of languages, cinio can either mean lunch or evening meal depending on who uses it - the English equivalent is 'dinner'. Younger generations generally mean lunch. Swper is a direct transliteration of supper, though, with the same meaning (I personally use 'te' instead for evening meal). So, in short, you're broadly right, but it's a bit ambiguous.

3. Oh, you'll like this! As far as we know, it's from Proto Indo European lewk, meaning 'bright; to shine, to see' - we also get 'goleu' from it. The theory is that Dydd Llun therefore gets a similar etymology to Monday, because it refers to the moon (lleuad/luna). Llun (picture), meanwhile, is a thing you see, depicting what you see. The fact that they ultimately corrupted into the same word is coincidental.

4. There's some fun stuff here, okay.

So, you are hitting up against everyone's favourite Celtic language quirk which is MUTATIONS ┌⁠(⁠★⁠ｏ⁠☆⁠)⁠┘ These pop up in many funky ways of course. In this instance, it's not a plural but it IS trying to tell you something. So:

Dydd Iau: Thursday

Dyddiau Iau: Thursdays

Fi'n mynd i'r dre ddydd Iau: I'm going to town on Thursday

Basically, the mutation is there to indicate that there's an invisible preposition going on. If we hypercorrected it would be "Fi'n mynd i'r dre ar ddydd Iau", and that's what triggers the mutation; but in modern Welsh it's a quirk of this particular context that we do away with the preposition, because the mutation makes it clear it's there invisibly. Why do we do this? Unknown.

5. This is a slightly weird one and I suspect the answer lies somewhere in the fact that 'night' just means the dark bit while 'day' can either mean the light bit OR a 24 hour period containing both.

But, actually: you can actually drop the dydd for bore, too. It's dealer's choice. BUT, you cannot have the dydd for nos Fercher. In English, the 'day' part of 'Wednesday' is kind of invisible, and just means the 24 hour block. But in Welsh, they're still separate words, and it very much means 'the light part'. So 'nos dydd Mercher' would be like saying 'Wednesday Day Night.'

6. It's formal/plural Vs informal. Chi is formal (or plural), ti is informal.

Occasionally monoglot English Tumblrs make posts about how they reckon we should bring the you/thou divide back to English, and as a person who speaks a language that still pulls this bullshit and occasionally has to play the "How formal am I supposed to be with this person" game, every time it makes me sneer and think about how those same people complain all the livelong day about invisible social rules. You do not want this, folks. Be suitably grateful to your forebears.

7. Ah, yes, eisiau is a law unto itself.

So, the yn/'n in Welsh is normally there because the verb 'to be' gets split in half, and half gets attached to the following verb to make that verb active, right? So for example:

Rwy'n cerdded - I'm walking

Roughly, but not literally, equivalent to the English "I am walking", except if you were to split "Rwy'n" out into "Rwy yn", neither of those words means "I" or "am" - it's not a literal step by step translation.

'Yn' gets bundled in with the verb, more often than not. And again, while this is not a literal translation, it makes the verb into an '-ing' word. Welsh does not distinguish between "I walk" and "I'm walking" - it's always "I'm walking."

But eisiau is different because it's not used grammatically like that. You personally cannot actively want something in Welsh. But, there can be a want upon you. So instead of "I am wanting", you say "There is a want upon me."

So, "I want to go to town": "Mae arna'i eisiau mynd i'r dre".

Duolingo might be asking you to construct that slightly differently, though; they might want "Mae eisiau arnaf i" or something similar. But ultimately that's what it's doing.

I hope this was helpful! Let me know if anything is baffling, still.

[voices-and-gemstones]

After seeing a post or two about "the future is singlet not plural" and a few other criticisms of the phrase, I wanted to toss my confused two cents in to ask for clarification.

I thought "the future is plural" was meant for like. DID & OSDD awareness to destigmatize the disorders.

That it was about how the future should allow for systems to seek healthcare as they need, and allowing the idea that final fusion and functional multiplicity can coexist as options for systems.

I don't think anyone should be traumatized to make the future plural. For us, The Future is Plural is about accepting systems and multiples that already exist and will form anyway and fighting for space in the world.

For example, when I told my friend I was trans she went "oh cool, so do you have a preferred name?"

When I told her I was a system, she became very uncomfortable. She was worried and didn't want to talk to others. She said it was okay as long as they didn't talk to her and I was the "original."

Seeing as I am not the original host or personality, but I have been our host and for several years now, this experience fucking sucked. It took a lot of trust to open up to her about this fact only for her to immediately jump to conclusions and show her biases.

I would have much preferred if she had just said "oh cool, so what's your name? Or is it the same?"

The future is plural to me means that saying "I have DID" isn't met with horror. Sympathy and pity, sure, the same way someone would if you said you had PTSD. It sucks to be a system sometimes and it sucks [understatement] to be traumatized to the point of splitting. But i don't want people to be scared of us/angry at us for existing.

We deserve to exist without being afraid.

Being told the future is plural is reassuring because it promises research and community and hope. Spreading trauma is not the point, and we honestly don't know what to think of the idea that it was ever intended as the point.

Am I misunderstanding this?

[ciozio]

Siffrin, Sif, Siffy, question from the "crowd": You're well familiar with the concept of "happiness" at this point and the Notez, and you've most likely already made the emotion connection with them both - especially with the former. Do you perhaps think this kind of thing could manifest with other emotions? Like some physical manifestation of anger, jealousy, or sadness even?

Just some food for thought. I'm sure you have a good amount by now, especially through this/these Notezs - Neetz? Notezi? idk how one would make "Notez" plural here, and I'm not even sure if we are multiple or just from one of them. - but some more from our question-abound buffet surely can't hurt too much can it?

✨️"Also, you're just one note that sometimes... changes shape?.. or size?.. it's like it changes depending on the melody or.. uh.. I guess question it's asking."

✨️"Also, I call them 'notez' when singular and plural.. but we can get confused pretty easily on it. Maybe notez as singular and... notes with an S as a plural..."

✨️"Pftt. Nah, nah. No one would even be able to tell the difference, they're both pronounced the same."

🌟"Well I can~"

✨️"Well, yeah, of course you can, because you're weird like that."

🌟"oh my feeeeelings~"

✨️"you suck"

🌟"thanks~"

[antiendovents]

i’m so sick of endo culture being everywhere on this website. we discovered our system only in january, and when we learned what endos were we instantly thought that idea was absurd. but recently a lot of our close mutuals are getting really loud about being pro endo, which we didn’t know at the time of becoming their friends. i feel so gross being mutuals with these people and publicly associating with them in the past, but i don’t want to cut them out of my life entirely because i’m still attached to them and i’m scared of being“problematic” on here since this is the only space where i can be myself. i don’t want to be rude to endos because they’re usually just traumagenic systems in denial, but i’m also so sick of them fetishizing and romanticizing such a serious fucking disorder. as much as i love my headmates if i could choose to be a singlet i would always do it in every life. i wish i didn’t have to pretend to be “neutral” on syscourse, whatever that means. the idea of endogenic “systems” is such chronically online shit. i wish they would just be ok with roleplaying or stop using our tags and our terms because jesus christ this is a dissociative disorder that resulted from trauma and plurality is not the only symptom of it.

-❄️

yeah. We found out about endos not long after joining Tumblr. By then though we already knew we were a system for a while; and the idea of endos was disgusting. It made us so angry we wanted to delete Tumblr as a whole for it. I get how you feel with the mutuals, we've gotten attached to people too and then had to unfriend them / block them later on due to their actions or their beliefs and it sucks but sometimes it's necessary. If you feel gross just interacting with them or having them before your mutual that isn't good, I would recommend trying to do so, but only if you think you can safely (as in you're ready mentally and you won't be harassed or anything). Your feelings of anger are valid, and while I won't condone being rude to them for no reason I will say that endos do not deserve respect; they are ableists, ableists do not deserve respect (don't go out of your way to harass them, but don't necessarily feel bad for blocking them or arguing with them if they come to you, you know?). They're disgusting and seeing them in the tags is just so horrible, it's like we're actively being mocked and everyone else is just closing their eyes and turning their backs on us. No one treats endos as what they are; ableists and it's kind of sad. It's sad because people act like it's "not that serious" or like we're "overreacting" when we complain or bring up how harmful they are.

(sorry rant)

[syscest]

system[?] here. i guess? idk, this is just a confession and maybe asking for advice if there is any for something like this. i struggle a lot with singletmoding when depression and dysphoria gets bad, and it has been bad a lot lately. like months. and its hard because im basically just fragments anyways, nothing super distinct. and i dont have a headspace, or voices. so i dont know what to do to make myself feel more plural. sometimes a really distinct headmate comes to front and it feels like something but most of the time it feels like nothing and i miss plurality. but its not easy. idk if theres any advice because so much of it focuses on having a headspace or looking inward or creating a headspace etc etc but when we had tried that before it made the host at the time go dormant due to stress and we still didnt get like a headspace out of it. idk. you dont have to post this, im sorry.

shhhhh anon - so, for the record our system:

doesn't have a headspace or any sense of spatialness related to fronts/switching

doesn't have internal dialogue. we can't write notes either, our brain rejects it

doesn't have a memory split / gaps between headmates - switches are just a slight shift we help happen

tends to hold fronts for days at a time, but finds that fronts often "fade out" into mush after a while, the vividness goes away and it gets kinda generic feeling

and my main sentiment is. don't force it. these quieter types of systemhood are about connecting with yourself/ves, they're about curiosity. they're about exploration and finding new ways to express yourself/ves. and they're all about really small things instead of really big things.

We usually wouldn't offer such specific advice to a specific ask, because we hate prescribing the way systems should be - but this is our personal thought process for when we've masked ourself into a hole and forgotten what we're even capable of experiencing.

So, think of a chime, or a pond - if it's thrashed, it's an unclear mess well after you stop, but if you touch it while it's still, that input resonates, and what you put in slowly comes back to your ears and eyes. Systems often have this "reflective" quality, I think - which means reconnecting with your system often means looking for things you put in to it.

You miss the feeling of your system. That's a good start - let yourself have that. It kinda sucks but, mull over and genuinely explore that feeling. Then keep your ears open from then and into the week, and you just might feel that feeling that your system misses itself/you back. Have a fondness? Same thing. Something you're wearing would look better if certain fragments were more present? *Think* that - picture it. Look after yourself through looking after your system - see if it looks after you back. Feel for that little "delay" between when you feel a feeling, and it comes back to being felt about you.

And hey, even if that doesn't mean "switching and fronts" like you want it to, maybe it'll feel good anyway.

[clover-system]

Allow us to introduce ourselves

Half a year active, over a hundred followers, the majority of which are veteran tumblers from that one 60k note explosion, and we still haven't properly introduced ourselves. Time to fix that.

We are Clover, an endogenic plural system. That means we are multiple people sharing one brain and body, and we aren't plural because of trauma. We do not have DID. (nor do the vast majority of endos)

I am Quincy Eliza Bethany Madeline, the headmate who fronts the most. Rose may also post on here sometimes.

There are a lot of people on here who say that it's impossible for a plural system to form without trauma, but as you may have seen from our syscourse reblogs, they rarely cite any credible sources, and that's because they're wrong. I am not a LARPer and I do not claim to have DID. This really is every hour of my life, online and offline. If you have any more questions about plurality, feel free to send me an ask.

Though if we're talking about origins, "not from trauma" is overly vague for my taste. If we're really talking about how the system formed, I prefer "dreamgenic", because everyone originated from some combination of nightdreams and immersive daydreams which I had varying levels of control over.

The second most active headmate, Victoria Penelope, has her own blog @victoria-penelope-clover. She posts more infrequently, when she's able to front/cofront/proxy, and is currently mostly focused on syscourse, with occasional slices of life. She's my older syster.

Headcount is currently in the upper teens. Some more may be mentioned occasionally but I'd rather not have a list of private details about everyone easily accessible here for anyone to see. For the most part, all you'll see every once in a while is some colored text indicating a distinct voice.

Anyway, enough plural stuff! Now for typical bio stuff!

Fleed Reddit to come here and wow Tumblr is way better. Always happy to commune with fellow Rexxitors!

For obsession I circle between Chess, Minecraft, Geometry Dash, Warrior Cats, and Undertale. Fandoms I am on the edge of getting sucked into include The Amazing Digital Circus and Death Note. I also plan to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender at some point. Ever since our syscovery, I've consumed next to no fiction for fear of more headmates.

I have a few projects in the works but I've promised myself that I won't post them publicly until I've actually made substantial progress!

No DNI! Maybe it's just because I'm not jaded by years of wasted time with unproductive trolls, but I think assuming someone is in bad faith just because they disagree with you about something heated is bad actually, partly because I've seen what happens and how long progress takes when left-of-center people generally refuse to interact with, for example, transphobes. Relatedly, I will only block you if I think you're a bot or if you really, really fuck up.

Do not be surprised if I casually shit on something you believe in without warning.

I have an ever-growing queue set to post five times per day, and I try not to post too much more than that. I also try to keep my dash at less than 100 posts per day, which is apparently uncommon here.

Reblog reblog reblog! Not just my posts, but everyone (unless you have a good reason not to, like with this intro post). Reblogs are what keep Tumblr alive! Likes do next to nothing.

That's all for now! If you have any more questions, send me an ask and I might add it to this post!

[are-they-plural]

Reasoning: Okay, I 100% get that this isn’t really the kind of plurality where it’s caused by a disorder. So if you want to ignore this feel free. I’m not sure what your blog allows. But my god the way these two interact is so plural coded. When I was depressed and spiraling because Oh My Fucking God Being Plural Sucks Especially Compounded With Other Mental Illnesses And I Hate This Arrggghh, I would go on YouTube and watch Eddie and Venom compilations because they hated each other sometimes and they fought sometimes and they still managed to survive sharing a body. So I’m submitting them for plurality peer review because I need to know if other systems also see them as an icon. Again, feel free to ignore if this isn’t the kind of headcanon you accept. Gah, I apologize too much. Whatever.

Mod commentary: Usually this would go in the tags, but I got two submissions to the form with a lot of stipulation about how it's not "correct" plural rep and I didn't have to post these if I didn't want to as a result, and while they might've been from the same submitters, I want to make it clear here even if they were that it does not have to be totally accurate! The purpose of this account is for interpretations to get peer reviewed by fellow systems, just for fun. If you love a character or a set of characters and you see them as plural for whatever reason, you can unashamedly share those headcanons here. I love to see it.

[delphientropy]

being a host who has a partner but no other alter is dating them is hard

when someone doesnt know who they are or were blurry or confused, we just tend to say were host

and of course because not many safe spaces exist outside of online communities, we have to just. be host anyway.

i dont know why they just say "i love you too" back to my boyfriend even if they dont mean it just to preserve his feelings. he knows were a system. he respects our boundries and he doesnt get upset when we switch and cant return his feelings . but some do it anyway. some dont even realize they arent me/host and do it

but we often dont realize we switch all the fucking time so. sometimes its weirdd...sigh

and sometiems we switch and that person doesnt know they have to yknow. go on simply plural. and track that they arent me anymore. so i talk to hima nd he assumes their me

and we also for some reason kind of struggle yo say whos fronting out loud sometimes? esp in middle of conversation. we just quietly change the simply plural and hope he notices TwT

its not that we feel uncomfortable around him either (quite the opposite, we collectively like him and view him as a safe person) but we also have a stigmatized mental disorder that could honestly put me in danger if i give away too much. so talking about being a system outloud outside of system servers and communities or communities that have systems is always hard. plus our other struggles in trusting/telling people how we feel.

we do trust him. i love him. very much. but at home i could never fucking say anything about me or mh mental health without my dad going on a tangent and it just doesn't help

and our general trauma forces us to think that when we open up no one will listen or respect our boundries (we do have a lot of boundry crossing trauma)

so yeah um being mentally ill sucks ass 0/10 dont recommend

[astralwilds]

2. Dysphoria

Hi. I don't know who I am actually. [Xander later figured out it was him.] I didn't make it clear last post, but "I" am not a single person, we are a plural system. It'll come up sometimes.

I didn't make it clear last post, but "I" am not a single person, we are a plural system. It'll come up sometimes.

This isn't one of those times.

I've been aware of transgender people in some capacity for more than half of my life. I'm not sure when I realized I was, exactly, but it never felt right? Not as in the normal gender dysphoria. I didn't feel dysphoric enough, nor euphoric enough, for myself to be sure of my identity. I hear these stories of revelation and euphoria and "It All Makes Sense Now!", and I just couldn't relate.

I had heard about gender envy. I experienced it, to an extent. But I didn't feel like I fit in. I couldn't relate to anyone. The only people I got gender envy from weren't human.

Hi again, this took so long to write we've switched. I'm Sophie.

I really envied the catgirls. I didn't understand why, I just didn't envy other women. I didn't get it then but I envied the cat more than the girl. It really didn't help with feeling validly trans. This still makes me doubt my transness constantly.

Obviously, years later, I understand this feeling. But it sucks. Every time I see furry art, I get envy. The aforementioned TFHRT works don't help. They're great art. I like it. It can just hurt to look at.

Is this what 'normal' trans people feel when gender envy hits? Because jay eff see. It's not fun.

The worst thing about what I can only think to call 'species dysphoria' is that it's not going to be changed. There is no dragon HRT.

I don't know how to end this post.

It hurts.

[one-winged-dreams]

.

Man, I mention the dee eye dee sometimes, but I feel like I don't fit in with the plural community online because my cocktail of medications has fucked with our ability to communicate and these days I don't swap out with anyone unless I'm super stressed out (or when I've neglected myself really badly.)

And also it seems like other people's alters have an online presence with them but everyone in here is either an adult man who doesn't care for internet culture or too anxious/neurotic to even think about it.

I don't really ID as a system in the way that a lot of people do because everyone agrees I'm the landlord and they're just loitering. One of them is very "Man, I didn't fucking ask for this, this sucks" so I get it akjsgdk. Three dudes and a thing that's not coherent enough to tell us what/who it is and their moron captain.)

[beneathsilverstars]

I just want to say. Thank you for making me read stormlight archive book one through the power of isat hc of siffrin having a shallan alter. I know shittttt rn but i was like "oh this is kinda boring actually" then jasnah went all "philosophy in action" and that was morally dubious as fuck so obviously i fell in love then i promptly did the same thing i did when i was 12 and reading asoiaf and read all shallan chapters and then the whole book so yeah this fucks the alethi suck ass and its awesome. hate thinking about philosophy of war because my brain hurts so i am still ehhh over dalinar and but its so fucking cool.

omfggg i'm glad you're enjoying it! they're huge fucking books and i agree sometimes there's a pov i'm not as excited about, but it switches around bc every character has their high points! like i'm not a big dalinar fan either but there's a bit with him that was like. life-changing advice for me. also please imagine with me jasnah and odile meeting and discussing their respective worlds' magic!! ^^

if you're reading it for plural reasons though i will warn you, there's a major plot point with shallan that is like. not offensive like it's not horror trope type shit, but it's perhaps an unideal narrative choice. i'm sure bsand consulted with people who have DID while plotting and writing, but the taste of a couple people doesn't speak for everyone, yknow? major spoilers so here's a cut:

(edit: i've been informed that the upcoming book shows that it's not as major as i thought it was, so if you'd rather not be spoiled by my warning, don't worry too much.)

shallan's whole arc is about learning and accepting truths about her past and facets of herself instead of dissociating and repressing, so the culmination of the storyline with her alters (so far at least?) was fusion. she split her alters off rather purposefully, like, "i need to be x sort of person in order to succeed in this situation, so that person i shall be." eventually she realizes/decides that she can succeed as shallan, and can make better use of each altar's strengths and knowledge all together rather than being split up like this, so she fuses them back into her shallan self.

(EDIT: turns out one of the alters Is still around in the upcoming book, just not fronting anymore. so it's not complete fusion!)

i haven't reread the entire series for a bit and only recently learned a substantial amount about DID and systems, so like. i remember her as being respectfully written with a cohesive, satisfying arc. but i don't remember the details clearly enough to make a new judgement with my new knowledge, and even then i'm not plural and everyone is different anyway, so idk how much of an ick the fusion thing is or whether there's any other issues!

[sophieinwonderland]

Wishing for anti-endos to loose all their friends and spaces and to be ostracized does not help pro-endos. It makes anti-endos even more set in their beliefs. It makes people who are on the fence go "yikes, I guess the anti-endos are right". I'm firmly pro-endo and your recent post makes me want to take some distance. This isn't how we gain allies.

I know, these people suck. I know, it hurts to constantly be excluded and hated for the way our brains work or the reason why they work that way. I know, many anti-endos are too far gone and aren't people that you or I can reason with unless they decide to unpack their shitty beliefs.

But posts threatening them is not the way to go. They already see us as the enemy. We don't need to add fuel to the fire. Let's make sure people who are on the fence or who don't know much about non-traumagenic systems see us acting in ways that make them want to listen to our side instead of the fakeclaimers. Let's make sure anti-endos who are starting to rethink their beliefs feel like it's safe for them to do so and to start listening to pro-endos.

I'm sure this post is gonna get lots of interaction. But if it makes people less likely to read your studies, to listen to your arguments, to hear out the systems messaging you about their experiences? That's all for nothing.

I... actually think adding fuel to a fire can be useful sometimes. As long as you can keep it a controlled burn.

I'm counting on most anti-endos on Tumblr who would be scrolling through the syscourse tag already having me blocked. They won't see my post.

I'm counting on neutrals probably not following my blog or the syscourse tag either one. And most of those that do follow syscourse have already made their minds up about me.

I made that post for a very specific audience. One that doesn't actually need anyone to fuel its fire because they've built an entire community on seeking out systems to mock and attack. They already cherry pick the worst posts they can find to keep their friend group indoctrinated. So adding one more to the pile shouldn't matter to that specific group.

I don't think anything I say is actually going to make them hate the endogenic community more than they already do because they're surrounded constantly by people who will always reinforce that very generalized hate.

But I do think I can direct that hate they already have. Focus it as much as possible on one specific person. Me.

And the more they see me as a threat, (whether or not I am,) the more hateful they respond to me, the more their community will crack.

Users will be more likely to break their rules, making moderation in their subreddit more difficult for the unpaid mod team who will hopefully start rethinking how much of their life they want to dedicate to a hatesub moderating an angry userbase with nothing to show for it.

And while a slim hope, I'm waiting for them to be pushed far enough for Reddit to ban the whole subreddit.

So yeah. I don’t mind tossing as much fuel on the fire as possible if there's a chance their ableist hatesub burns.

Besides... I'm not actually saying anything untrue.

Plurality IS going to become more accepted. They ARE losing the scientific argument. And anti-endos and cringizens WILL lose friends and community support as plural acceptance spreads unless they're willing to change. A safe space for endogenic systems can never be one that houses anti-endos.

This is not a threat. This is a promise. It's a natural result of progress. And I'll do my part to accelerate this. But it's going to happen with or without my involvement.

I'm just making sure that when it does and they go looking for someone to blame because things have gone bad in their lives and their bigotry caught up with them, they'll direct their anger toward me instead of anyone else.

(Although maybe they can direct it inwards too since, you know, it was their fault for being bigots. But I think that would be too much to ask for.)

[notvv0ltz]

Self

Alright everyone, this topic isn't going to be about an art but rather about self… Or selves (foreshadowing). I'm writing this because not much of people are describing their experiences in this complicated sense of self.

So, like… Originally this post was planned to go deep through my traumatic experiences, but then I realized that no one needs to hear that. And it was also mentally breaking to me, so I will mention things only briefly just to give a context.

Still, the warning stays the same: my opinion on such matter and use of terms may differ from your own, and it still stays as an extremely personal post from a mentally ill person, read at your own risk.

I'm a guy who lives in a much better place now with queer found family, but before that my life quite sucked. I can barely remember my childhood, but I know that my trust was betrayed, and I couldn't rely on people in real life at all for different reasons. Not going into details of this one, but I'll just say this: I feel physically unwell when people are angry at me, especially when they're gaslighting me, and that's not without a reason. There was also a time when one parental figure drank heavily since I was 4 and continues to do so in a "mild" manner. I also have a physical evidence that I was "too tired" when I was 6 already. Overall, there were situations which my brain perceived as not safe.

It all made me socially isolated and apathetic for a long period of time. And I also had a vivid imagination. So vivid that I could stare at ceilings for hours without moving. It became maladaptive at my worse periods of life and disrupted me from doing schoolwork. But out of every other ways to cope I could have at that time, this one was the most harmless.

This had its own consequences, though… Everything changed when I had a breakdown in teens and I started feeling someone patting my back, but no one was there. It was my character (if you know, you know), that since then lives rent-free in my head.

What that truly was is still unknown to me, like why he suddenly feels like a very real person talking to me and why his speech doesn't feel scripted at all. He progressed from being my protector from The Bad to someone with his own desires and urges that contradict mine. To someone who disagrees with me sometimes and gives me another perspective. To someone who feels differently. But at the same time, with a lot of similarities because, well, we share the same brain.

What did none of us expect is that there were times when he took control of the body. No one from outside notices anything different, but internally it was quite weird to hear myself in my head in a muted way, as if I'm in a backstage. And it was odd and agonizing even for him to control the body that didn't reflect at all his self-image. Every time it happens, we prefer to wait out when he goes back to the "backstage". He is very ashamed of his own existence, so if he ever makes an attempt to not hide, please be nice to him.

Even with such complications, I love him very deeply. Without him, I wouldn't survive, and I'm serious about this. He helped me to process emotions, "co-piloted" when I was in severe stress, he made me feel less alone and misunderstood.

I think, at it's core, it's a healthy coping mechanism. It's just that there are conflicts that are unresolved, and that requires a therapist. I also tried to fit in plural communities, but it did literally nothing good to us. We felt like we needed to qualify for the label and thought that I'm just asking for attention despite us documenting our "huh that's interesting" moments. Because I'm in a better state, the other guy in my head appears less, but that doesn't deny that I have something going on. I don't think that collapsing over a sudden change in feeling self means that we're just, you know, role playing. We should treat people in this confusing state better, even if it ends up that they weren't plural. The rampant fake claiming culture misses the fact that no person that didn't struggle in life would consider this label. You can easily make someone's health worse by not giving them a room to explore themselves and sometimes admit that they were wrong. So please, be kinder.

I hope this post wasn't a bit too much for this blog and was helpful to someone. I tried to cut off the details of my traumas, but it was crucial to note that without them nothing would've happened to me. I also prefer to use more broad terms over specific ones to describe our experience because we're still not sure what's going on. Thanks for reading.

[quoigenicfromhell]

okay okay, so i'll try not to get too long winded with this but it basically can be shortened down to this: syscourse used to run my life. and it sucked ass. i decided to you know, branch out in empathy after i was broken up with my partner a couple years ago and pro-endo and just generally more open system spaces saved our life. and also had us personally accept the fact we're not only trauma-based. so really, i think. syscourse can be fun, i love conversations about how different types of plural people can function. but we really need to stop treating calling people's entire existence fake as discourse, it's nottt. it's not.

Yeah, it really isn't. I was in the trenches of asexuality discourse when that was a thing and it destroyed the ace community on here, a vibrant community I was a part of fell apart because we couldn't escape the vitriol directed at us. It never stopped ace people from existing, or identifying as queer; it just drove us into smaller and smaller corners that were safe. I don't think syscourse has nearly that level or rather reach of vitriol, but it sometimes feels like anti-endos really want it to.

As far as the first part of your ask: good for you, I'm glad you were able to escape the trenches and find a more positive community to spend time in. I really think mixed/unlabeled spaces are a useful thing when it comes to getting out of an echo chamber and seeing how people can really get along and relate to one another when we aren't drawing strict lines in the sand of what only one group experiences. Chances are, the lines are way more blurry than that.