#just an old thing I had happen irl frequently

[colourful-void]

Posted my first m rated fic on ao3 (will cross post tomorrow) so everyone be chill okay

[k0yaz]

shackled.

Pairings: arlecchino x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, arranged marriage, arle referred to as your husband, use of her real name, idk if this is angst so I’ll tag it as angst and fluff, wlw, I actually fucking hate arranged marriages irl but it’s interesting to write about, fun when it’s the character you like and not a 10 year old girl getting married to an ugly ass 60 year old man who gets no bitches, uhm anyway not proofread.

A/N: nobody gonna request arrange marriage? I’ll do it myself with my husband/husbwife arlecchino 🕯️

Uneven beats of your heart pulsed in your eardrums continuously as you stared out the open window, a cool breeze caressing your downcast face gently. Your pupils flickered down to your extended left hand, dilating smaller out of disdain upon catching sight of the cold silver ring encircling your ring finger.

You dreaded it. This arranged marriage parted an endless uncomfortable pit in your stomach, which you had felt would remain as long as you were trapped in a bind you didn’t want. Gazing down at ring once more, you couldn’t help but find it difficult to swallow the choked feeling in your throat whenever you laid eyes upon the ruby, nausea enveloping every possible sense you had in the moment. Rather than a promise ring that bound you to someone you loved, the one on your finger felt like a tiny silver collar clamped around your flesh. An irking feeling that forced you to love a stranger.

Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate Arlecchino. The woman had actively attempted to respect your personal space, being able to tell how much you loathed the inescapable grasp of your arranged marriage. You could tell that she opposed even the thought of this, especially from the way her eyes would stare down at her own ring with an empty and unfeeling expression.

Sighing deeply, you reached an arm up to grasp the satin curtains, before tugging your arms inward in a single dynamic motion. As you turned your back to walk away from the now closed up windows, you felt a gust of light air brush against your nape, causing you to spin around and lower your eyes from slight annoyance. Right. You forgot to shut the windows first. You just went over to shut the windows, still harboring a hint of irritation. Ever since that marriage, you always tended to feel unwilling to do anything anymore. Frequently always irritated by the smallest of actions as you’d always think to yourself—what’s the point?

Upon closing up the windows completely, you fell back onto the intricately decorated sofa set situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your mind still a cluttered mess from all your thoughts being scrambled rather than neatly arranged in an array. You began to ponder once more. How things could’ve been different. Ran away, or disobeyed your parents to a full extent.

There wasn’t anything you could do. You didn’t see a point in even trying to keep a happy front anymore. All of your aspirations that you had, every little dream, was now out of your reach as you were shackled into this marriage. The warm air of the heater hit your skin as you rested your cheek into your palm. A small smile made its way onto your lips as you mused at the possible scenarios that could’ve happened if you were free. Perhaps if you were wallowing in your delusion, you could smile atleast once.

“I’m home.”

You blinked from sudden surprise, jolting as the bedroom door creaked open—albeit a bit roughly. Arlecchino’s emotionless voice rang in your ears, had she called out upon entering before? She often enters the living room first, and doesn’t enter the bedroom until nightfall. Then again, you tend to reside in the living room to await your husband’s return, so maybe she simply wondered where you were.

Stray specks of blood decorated her cheek, scattering small splatters ranging in a variety of spots across her face. Right. She was the fourth harbinger after all. You folded your arms as Arlecchino towered over you, still standing upright while her x-marked eyes pierced into you. Shifting uncomfortably, you decided to clear your throat, gesturing towards your own cheek in an attempt to break the thick fog of tension between you two from the lack of words.

“You got some-“

“I’m aware.” Arlecchino replied coldly, making you bite back a scoff at the harbinger’s dismissive response. Well, excuse you for trying to make this shitty marriage more bearable.

Still, it didn’t seem intentionally rude although it did come off that way. You only looked away from her, eyes fixating on a random painting hung over the flower pot on one of the shelves. Hunching your shoulders, you bit down on your quivering lip subtly so that Arlecchino wouldn’t notice. Although you were the one that distanced yourself from her. Although you were the one who only focused on despising this marriage, rather than even trying to get closer to Arlecchino in the slightest for atleast a small hint of peace. It still hurt seeing your husband brush you off like this.

Her seemingly exhausted expression remained glued to her face as she dragged the folded white washcloth along her cheek, eyes staring at the ground aimlessly as she continued to clean her stained face. The weight of all of this had clearly taken a toll on her as well, yet she had to keep a sturdy front for the sake of her profession as a Fatui harbinger. Yet her actions regarding you had always been courteous and respectful. Consistently respecting your boundaries and trying her best to avoid making you feel uncomfortable must have taken a toll on her, especially knowing full well that your resentment for this marriage could have set you off at any given moment.

A sudden wave of sympathy flooded you upon seeing Arlecchino’s tired eyes, dark linings shaded below her eyes as well. Just maybe, you could try to repay her for having your comfort in mind throughout the course of this resented relationship. This relationship wasn’t her fault, and you knew that. She hated this just as much as you did.

Deciding to swallow your pride, you rose to your feet, standing before her as you awkwardly shifted for a couple moments while remaining standing there. Arlecchino paused her movements, raising an eyebrow at your sudden motion of getting up off the couch. She simply stared at you with a puzzled gaze, trying to figure out your sudden want to interact with her.

Hesitantly, you reached out a shaky hand, lining it up with her cheek and gesturing her to lean in. Arlecchino on the other hand, wasn’t expecting you to switch up suddenly like this, only keeping her skeptical gaze locked onto your own eyes. It felt like a trap to lean in to someone who was so hesitant to even look at her. No matter how badly she wanted to lean into the soft skin of your palm, her hesitance seemed to uphold her rationality despite her exhaustion.

“Arle…it’s okay, you can lean in…”

She needn’t be told twice as you felt her hand grab ahold of your wrist to keep it in place, her head nearly collapsing against your hand. Deep breaths echoed within the vicinity, her breaths cancelling every other noise around you two as Arlecchino slowly composed herself from your touch. She pulled back after a couple moments, her cold front faltering for a moment with a flash of tenderness, before immediately snapping back to her calm demeanor.

However, you didn’t stop there. You don’t know what flipped that switch in you, but you just felt the urge to grow closer to Arlecchino. Perhaps it was the realization that you weren’t alone in the hellhole of a marriage, and that you two may be suffering together. Knowing she hated this as much as you was comforting, it remedied your internal turmoil slightly, and made you detest the idea of anyone else going through what you were. Or maybe, it was the fact that Arlecchino didn’t push anything in this marriage, and respected you, preventing your mental state from growing worse. It could even be both.

Regardless, you wanted to atleast provide a sort of ease to her. Cupping her cheek once more, you pulled the washcloth from her hand, rubbing it against her cheek in circular motions as stains of blood began to soak up onto the cloth and coloring it red. Arlecchino didn’t seem to protest your attempt at soothing her, face pressing further into your shaky palm as it seemed to be working. The quiet buzz of the heater reverberating through the silence, and the general tidy atmosphere of the neatly arranged bed made everything feel so right. As if this marriage wasn’t so awful after all.

Arlecchino exhaled a swift sigh as you finished washing up her face, remaining silent. The two of you awkwardly awaited for the other to speak up, the crickets outside chirping louder than the two of you by this point. You finally decided to say something, face tinged a light pink from moderate embarrassment

“You didn’t want this either did you?”

Arlecchino shook her head in affirmation, her eyes still avoiding yours—as if she was afraid that your vulnerability would shift over to her, and shatter her calm self at this moment.

“I’m well aware of this situation. Your parents are already closely associated with the Fatui, and want wanted you to marry a harbinger in order to elevate their own status for the sake of the family.” She replied. A sour taste seeped onto your tongue at the mention of the reason why you were forced into this in the first place, unpleasant memories beginning to race through your mind for a few moments.

“Why did you accept the offer then? You could’ve easily declined if you didn’t want to be in this marriage either. There’s multiple other harbingers my parents would’ve auctioned me off to.” You said bitterly, strangely hating the idea of getting married to anyone who wasn’t Arlecchino at this point. Arlecchino merely shrugged in response, raising her shoulders to remove the white fur coat cloaking her and draping it neatly over the coat hanger drilled into the wall.

“I’m not sure.” She paused, taking some time to think over another answer to compensate for her vague response. “I believe I just felt it was necessary in that moment.”

You sighed back collapsing onto the mattress. Suddenly, you felt an arm circle your waist, pulling you closer as you felt Arlecchino push her torso flush against your back. Your face burned from the sudden intimate action, the warmth of her body only serving to make you lean into her further as her sharp nails raked along your stomach lightly. Arlecchino whispered out against you, visibly less uptight than when she came in. She was a bit more relaxed and clingy with you simply with a mere touch against her cheek, it was sweet honestly.

“I still care about you, (Name).” She muttered against your neck, voice muffled as she was evidently quite tired. Pale rays of the moonlight illuminated Arlecchino’s now eased expression, watching her eyes lowered shut as her exhaustion began to catch up with her. Surprisingly, you found yourself relishing in the comfort of her arms as you flipped onto your side facing her to examine her rested features.

“…I’m starting to care about you too, Peruere.”

Your hand drew down along her arm, all the way from the skin of her shoulder down to the black faded enveloping her arms from her curse. Maybe, just maybe, this could work. You found solace in the fact that you could make the best out of this marriage with a woman who kept you in mind and tried her best to care about your interests.

Maybe, you could warm up to her.

A/N: im screaming idk if this turned out good guys pls asaaawaabshshs but yayyyyy arlecchino MY CONTENT WARNINGS WERE ASS ON THIS ONE WHY ARE THEY SO BORING AND SAD ‼️

[magz]

what made you not able to type normally? because i remember you had perfect grammar before and used to make rly long text posts

Around December 15, 2022 was main one (more info below)

Had seizure / stroke-like thing. and bad covid - at same time. while also stress + abuse.

then started speak and type odd immediately after wake up. words arrange odd - in all language.

which then, similar health event happen multiple times after.

each time was improve from consistent effort speech + language therapy, would get worse after another event. but slight different.

It actually affect more ability speak irl. where it progressive lost any ability speak, besides. sounds.

as sometimes am able more coherence text. often with strain head.

and there Are posts with more edit where spend long time change, or use autocorrect more + languagetool + search online + ask help. so have better grammar. sometimes end up pass out after.

so am just focus those on describe post or transcribe. or if think post worth it have good chance feel physical awful.

have delete some the text posts around time of main incident, as was live document what happen - which not feel good - too vulnerable. though many mutual were there ... and know.

had previous seizure / stroke-like events before incident - which gave speech impediment (permanent), or made guts worse (permanent) than was before, or made unable move (temporary) / worse move (longer), or photophobia extreme light sensitive (frequent / chronic).

anyways, there times when grammar n logic n language general ability not great, n other times more manageable.

other times other parts cognition is affect instead.

is to point sometimes where see past self n posts n way speak n creation, n cannot recognize as self.

am have old videos with voice on old art channel. so we were not born nonverbal. n of course had many long perfect grammar posts without much effort on this account. most those followers were from back then. is not secret, is... burden.

have you ever had your body n brain / mind fail you severely?

anyways: dominican medical system have been subpar. n they made some worse. [insert traumatic n backwards medical]

n am kinda like this n there a lot am not know about future n present.

am hope this was make sense enough, did try, you know.

[yoonjinsgirl]

Heyaaaa guys!!! I'm here with Chapter-6 to my series.

checkout series previous chapters: 1 💌 2💌 3💌 4💌 5💌 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi x fem!Reader

Summary: you wake up one day only to realize it's 2026 already & to your biggest shock you are not in your bedroom, not in your house! You try to wake yourself up from the dream! But is it really a dream or the truth of your life?

Genre: idol au, mirror world au, angst.

Taglist: Open

Updates: after every 4/5 days.

Warnings: An au concept, not something that could make sense irl, it could be dangerously delulu. please note all my writings are fictional and has nothing irl to do with any idol/person.

A/N: This chapter in particular has yoongi's pov.

Request are open & also highly welcomed and appreciated! Check my work until now: Masterlist💌 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡^·ᴗ·^♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've imagined this all night and every day!💕

Chapter - 6

As days keep passing you keep feeling more and more weird and uncomfortable with your situation. Because no matter how much you try to shrug it off it doesn't helps at the end of the day you still think what is going on with you! it's common for you to daydream or think of your bias but why the heck are you able to visualize the literal impossible scenarios and even though you've been army for years now you don't dream about them alot so why do you daily keep dreaming about yoongi? And most importantly from where did the ring appeared? You even shared it with your bestfriend but she is certain that you are only overthinking and that you are overwhelmed about yoongi's enlistment, again which is true for-sure but still you've a unsettling feeling which no matter how hard you try to shrug it just won't go away.

On the other hand yoongi won't appear anywhere! Like not on any of his sns accounts nor he could be spotted on any event or whatsoever! It made you want to run away somewhere and get lost somewhere, where these feelings won't affect you so much! His absence just made things worse for you! Dreams would keep coming, somedays you would find yourself waking up to your face stained with dried tears marks. This behavior of yours freaked you out because you never were like this, surely you loved him but you surely knew your limits! You knew you had to keep your delusional mind aware of your limits, and that no matter how much you want your imaginations to come true but your love for him was forbidden.

After having a long day at work as you settle down to rest, it's already been a month and yoongi is still not seen nowhere, so you just randomly think to message him on his sns account, although you know it's worth nothing as you are just one of those millions who would be messaging him, but that was an old habit of yours to always share your inner turmoil with him, he was definitely your safe place, so you message him thinking even if no one really takes your concerns seriously and judges you, atleast he would never! Ofcourse he would never know about your messages but also he if ever had seen he still would never judge you! Yoongi was never the person who would judge people you knew that.

After messaging him youu fall asleep thinking maybe now that you had already shared your thoughts with yoongi you would be able to get over this thing of yours.

While you are asleep you have no idea the messages you have been sending off randomly, you've no idea what's actually going on with yoongi? Or what actually had happened to you leading to you getting various and frequent flashbacks.

33days ago...

Yoongi was genuinely resting at his home when he sees a shadow coming close to him, he was about to throw his hands but he freezes on spot when he sees his own reflection infront of him "WHAT THE FUCK! I guess I'm too tired from all the performing!! And whiskey is acting up"

Saying this he slightly pats his cheeks to get in his right mind, but to his shock his reflection stood right infront of him unbothered and judging him giving him side eyes! His eyes widens as he notices it moving,

"YAHHHHHH YAHHH WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?", he almost shouts as he grabs his pillow to throw.

"Jeez you are way too over dramatic Min Yoongi it's not like I'm a ghost or anything", whatever thing that he was seeing said to him.

"Even ghost are far better than what I'm seeing rightnow! What the fuck are you? A mirror reflection who is here to eat me up or something like caging me into mirror and stealing my identity!" Yoongi spoke assuming all the possible scenarios that could take place.

"Are you like seriously crazy dude? You need to stop watching too much of non fictional movies or shows or whatever shit you read to assume things like that!"

"Then what in the world are you??? Are you even there or is my whiskey acting up?"

"Nope I'm for real!"

"So are you here to harm me? Because I will call security so don't even thinking of doing anything, I'm warning you, also i can punch you down! Do not underestimate me!" Yoongi said defensively.

"Nope I'm not here to harm you! Sit down already will you? talk while having a seat I'm already tired answering your illogical questions by standing here?" saying that his dup takes a sit. Meanwhile yoongi is still, standing trying to process whatever is happening.

Finally after few minutes as yoongi sits down on his bed still staring at his dup and back looking at himself, trying to figure what the heck is this thing! Few minutes go's by and there's awkward silence.

"So are you by any chance from my future or something? Or wait don't tell me you are my son or grandson NO WAYS!", again yoongi says assuming too much.

"YAHH AISHHHH! NOO EWW! STOPPP! okay no! I told you before itself you watch a little too much of series and movies to assume all these sh!t!. So before you assume anymore shit let me introduce you to myself, I'm Min Yoongi aka Suga aka Agustd! Yes I'm you but like in a different realm from a different world! You can suppose that i belong from a world which is exactly same as you with some exceptions, like it's 2023 and in my world its 2026, and I'm here to get help from you, you need to take my place for few days while i come here and i complete my research on how people live here so basica.."

"WHAT NO! Just get out! I'm doing nothing get that inside your head! Also how do i believe whatever shit you are saying is true? You told me to not speak nonsense but atleast my assumptions had some logic! I don't find even a drop of logic from whatever theory you just said! Also even if you are speaking truth how do i trust you?" Yoongi said cutting off his dup in middle way as he made his own point.

"Heyyyy no wait! Listen to me I'm not lying believe me! Just like you I'm also an Idol! I too have my armys in my mirror world! But what my fans and members don't know is, that I'm also work in a secret research as their team head for my world! To be honest i guessed that you will be similar to me so i came by to explain you the process. And to be honest even if you don't agree I'll have to interchange our positions for few days, you won't even know when you would get teleported to my world so just calm down and just cooperate and trust me i guarantee your safety and that i won't spoil your image here!", yoongi's dup said trying to explain his situation.

"How do i trust you?", yoongi asked his dup.

"Well we can go right now and i can show you around! No one knows my identity as a head researcher, so if we go we will have to be careful as literally no one knows about me not even my research team, as we only contact through mails. So the only thing we need is to hide my identity and be careful".

"No but wait what if your people they recognize it's not me?"

"That unfortunately is not possible since we are alike! Besides once you will get teleported into my world you'll possess a power that will help you to survive and that will mask your real identi.."

Before yoongis dup could continue yoongi cutoff his sentence in between as he curiously asks, "What Power? Am i supposed to be some kind of supernatural human??? I'm fucking just a normal human being who has some good musical sense and my fans ofcourse"

"why don't you hear me out without cutting me off dude! So basically this is a thing in the mirror world if anyone from another world teleports there, the world will enter into a different realm and for sure in your world it might not be a power but in the mirror world everyone who doesn't belongs from there are 10000× more powerful. So your power will be depending on your inner energy, so that inner energy or power makes some changes into our world, mostly for the survival. And according to my study your energy must be the 'Everlasting Memories', which will make sure you don't forget a single moment or thing, also you'll be able to know the memories of people around you so no one would be able to catch you off guard while you take my place!", the dup explained him

"But what if there's someone just like me stuck in your world they know who i am?"

"Well it's s not possible since i haven't got any report from my team mates about it and not everyone knows how to balance the laws for a person to actually meet their other significant in another world without one of them getting teleported, so i don't think even if they do anything, it would be same as you. As the person teleported there wouldn't even know what happened to them so relax!" Yoongi's dup cleared his doubts and spoke further, "But even if there's someone nevermind you still will have the memory that will always help you to know what the truth is to you! There only 10%chances of someone to overpower your inner energy and even if it happens you still will be able to remember their truth so you are safe in all ways!!".

"Ahhhh i see", yoongi said while slightly nodding as he tries to understand and process everything, meanwhile the dup continues, "See i told you about everything now so please cooperate, according to my research i believe you've right now for few days have no schedules or such! You can be there and rest! Besides turning your life upside down without any notice, it's better if you know and understand the situation and we exchange places".

"Okay then i guess let's do it, not like i have any choice so yeah!" Yoongi agrees a little hesitantly.

"Really???"

"Ye"

"I never thought you had accept this!! Well thank you then"

"By the one more thing are you some kind of dr.strange from multiverse kinda thing???", yoongi again asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Dude would you stop asking weird questions???"

"Hey! C'mon it's so much similar how could you decline it?", yoongi retorts back thinking it's almost similar with it.

"Well okay maybe it is!", the dup finally agreed to yoongi's point.

"Daymmn i knew it! Afterall things like that actually exist"

"I can't with you! see we will get teleport at night so bye now and be ready". Saying that the dup of yoongi from the mirror world disappeared from there leaving back a curious and amused yoongi behind.

After The Incident...

Yoongi was stunned when he woke up the next day. He was so stunned to see the world to be exact same, his members were same, his workplace was same, even his house was same! He was stunned to discover to that there existed a world apart from where he lived.

Everything was going smooth until one day suddenly he feels something weird and the next thing he knows he finds you sleeping on his bed! Although he knows he has no girlfriend in real life so why are you here? Didn't his dup told him that they both were alike? But afterall maybe his dup has he thought, also it was just the overpowering effect of your inner energy, no matter what he had do, he wasn't able to keep himself off you, loving and cuddling you, everytime he would see you his heart won't co-operate with his mind! He would feel like you were there since the beginning, but deep down he knew something is not right, but the more he stayed with you the more his feelings started to grow up on his mind, to understand what was happening with him.

It was like there were literal dailouges ringing in his mind and he would just blurt out those! He was irritated but everytime he would look at you or would have any kind eye or body contact he would lose his mind and he almost hated himself for stealing someone's else girlfriend because having same face doesn't gives any right to play with someone else's feelings and betray someone he thought! But no matter how hard he would try he would always find himself getting pulled towards you and he hated how he enjoyed himself with you.

All these years he somewhere always yearned to have someone beside him and now when he got you, deep down in his heart he was so happy to have you until one day, just like you had arrived without any notice, you disappeared in thin air. Half of his mind convinced that it was his dream while half of his mind telling him that no it was all true. But then if you were a true person and not just imagination then how could you disappear just like that? And how could no one tell that you did existed once? No one knew about you! Everyone just told him that at this point he should start looking at some dating options or maybe it was armys delusional mind working inside him, and everything they said made him think that it was partially right as you did mentioned him to be army afterall.

His thoughts contemplating until the day of his own departure came and his dup appeared again thanking him for helping him and co-operating, but yoongi on the other side felt like he was the bad guy here, so hesitating he asked him if he, his dup by any chance had girlfriend! And to his surprise he had none! So then who were you? A possible ghost! His beautiful dream! Or was really his mind playing games with him? Or did someone actually got teleported like him?, before he could go insane. He instead decided to tell everything to his dup and he told him the answer that yoongi most probably wanted to hear.

"Well during my time out there, i came to know someone had actually teleported here! And she whom you saw was indeed from your world my subordinates informed me. And why would you even doubt your memory dude? when i clearly had told you always trust your memories because they won't lie!", the dup told him clarifying the truth.

As yoongi spoke further about his situation, "That's not the only matter here! I just told you that i behaved with her like she was my love, my girlfriend when she clearly wasn't! I knew yet i had no control over my emotions and just like a magnet i kept getting drawn towards her, and i ended up developing feelings for her!"

"Did you just said that you knew the reality and still you did things you didn't wanted to?"

"Yes! But as i said after few days i actually started having feelings for her"

"Ahhhhh that means her inner energy was Law Of Attraction, so that is why whatever she might have wished for you did it!"

"I just told you, that is not entirely true, i ended up having feelings so she wasn't the only one to blame for whatever i did"

"Get a chill lol why are getting so defensive?"

"No I'm not! Why would i? I don't even know her and not like i will meet her again" although he clearly declined his feelings his crimson cheeks said a different story. All his dup could do was only chuckle at him.

"Okay then see you never again, tomorrow morning you'll wake up in your world! Thank you for everything"

"hmnn okay thank you for keeping your words"

"And yeah also good luck in finding your girl" yoongi's dup said with a playfull smirk, "yahhhh aishhh how many times do i tell you I'm not going do anything like that", yoongi replied denying having any feelings now.

"Well okay if you say so", his dup says while shrugging off.

"Also it's impossible because didn't you told me before that people always tend to forget things once they're teleported back into their world, and i would be able to remember because of that energy thing, so it makes so sense on looking for her?" Yoongi asked absent-minded.

"Even though you just told me you had no business knowing about your so called girl you are still asking me! Well still I will answer your question so don't worry!" He said teasing him further and continued, "as i said she has stronger side for law of attraction so there are chances that maybe she remembers it all and suppose even if she doesn't remember all of it right now, there are very high chances for her to regain those memories, if you somehow find her and try to remind her of your times that you had spend with her or any moment that you had shared with her, anything like that would be able to recover all her memories!".

"Are you sure this could work??", yoongi asked.

"Woahh woahhh woahhh!!! I'm offended! What do you mean by I'm sure? Ofcourse I'm damn sure! Infact guessing on you getting into a situation where you both ended up being lovers, which means she actually wishes to have you in her life, maybe she's someone who loves you, which also means she could be one of your fan! So maybe after all it won't be so hard to find her! Good luck on finding her". He replies while giving yoongi a small smile.

"Don't make your own assumptions, i only asked you for security reasons that's it!! Nothing more than that"

"Well ofcourse after all how could you fall for a fan! So..."

"So.."

"So i guess you should go and get rest and sleep because you will get teleported only while you are asleep, tomorrow morning you'll be in your world safe and sound! So bye i guess" the dup finally said biding him a bye.

"Hmnn bye good night, take care" yoongi says as he gives a quick side hug and turns away towards the bedroom, after all yoongi was indeed the sweet and soft person.

As yoongi laid down on the bed to fall asleep he was happy and content knowing there are still chances that he could meet you once again! He certainly wouldn't try to contact or find you immediately but he knew he would, once he is sure he can! For now he was relaxed knowing that there were still chances of you and him getting back! There were still chances of you both crossing eachother's path! The thought itself made him feel good. As he fell asleep with the last night in this mirror world which he certainly would never forget because he met someone like you here! But he was also excited to go back to his world and meet his actual members, his friends, his 6 brothers, his world..back.

Before he knew he was back in his world, more than happy to be back and meet his family and his friends. And glad that he still remembered and had you perfectly glued in his memories as he smiled thinking he's one more step closer to you as you are now under same sky as him.

Little did yoongi knew you were absolutely clueless about your time spend with him and how you were unknowingly trying to get rid of those little memory flashes that your mind tried to remind you.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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I hope guys enjoyed reading this one! I hope you all will look forward to upcoming parts! So stay tuned!♡

I know it takes me little too long to post but trust me my laptop is in repair and i haven't got it back and making corrections in my written draft takes my most of time, and i actually write my chapters in real time so it takes a little long especially writting them on my phone takes even more long, so i hope you can bear with me. Like it's almost 1.30am while I'm uploading this lol!🥲

Thank you so much for always being patient with me y'all!. Ily all! Also my big big thanks to those who are just reading, also to those who are reading and liking my posts too and also to those who literally always reblog them, I'm so so grateful to you guys!❤️‍🩹

Also last time i had said about naming chapters for this series! So i have already updated those on masterlist!!!♡

As I always say, REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!💌

Categories I write for are: imagines/reaction, scenarios, thoughts, text post, drabbles and timestamps.♡

So if you've requests please go on and submit it! I'll be happy to write one. Also your feedbacks are highly welcomed and appreciated.💜

[slettlune]

i couldn't sleep so i sat up all night finishing reading the three musketeers

groggy morning thoughts:

this story is bawdier than i imagined it! i have never seen an adaptation capture the way dumas keeps reminding you that the musketeers fuck: frequently, enthusiastically, and they especially appreciate getting paid for it. it doesn't happen on-page (it's not that kind of book), but it's very clear that they all have substantial sexual experience (even if athos has become celibate by the time the story begins).

i STILL don't agree with the translator's comment: aramis IS my favourite musketeer, he IS easy to love actually!! my personal ranking goes aramis >>> athos > d'artagnan > porthos. yes athos wins second place for having cyclical depression and making sarcastic jokes about it.

on the subject of "this was clearly written for a certain kind of male audience of a different time"... i admit that that one "humorous" nonconsensual sex scene was an uncomfortable chapter to get through

the female main characters were all AWESOME. i LOVE a vicious female villain! i could have done without one of the many "ooh curses that i am a weak, easily-fainting WOMAN and physically and mentally inferior to a man" internal monologues, but what can you do

i did not wind up shipping any of the main guys together, which, believe me, comes as a surprise. i fully believe in their bond and their fierce loyalty to and love for each other, but i don't need them to kiss on the lips about it. i DO think all of them (excepting d'artagnan) have had male lovers though

i checked and was disappointed that there is not a single lord de winter/tom felton fic on ao3. the religious devotion that separates them, the personal devotion that ties them together... i might have to write something.......

BUT THE WOMEN THOUGH. the women should ALL explore each other's bodies. you can't throw multiple "unhappily forced to be a nun" characters at me like this and not make me imagine them doing things to each other

i sampled several different translations and i really really really wound up enjoying lawrence ellsworth's, PERFECT mix of easy-to-read and formal, and i especially appreciated how their speech still retained french phrases here and there in an elegant, unobtrusive way.

the political machinations stuff in the early chapters <3 AAAH! i'd read a WHOLE book just about monsieur de treville elegantly tiptoeing between factions. the adventure stuff is exciting; the comedy is hilarious; the melodrama is a little meh for me, but the political drama is EXCELLENT. i wish it had continued through the book.

honestly a surprisingly fast-paced story for a 700+ pages novel. lots of twist and turns and suspense and wild horseback chases and more than a few very dramatic coincidences. i gasped irl

what i really appreciate with dumas is how he makes you wait for reveals. he'll give you all these little enticing mysteries to ponder and then it feels SO satisfying when you can finally go OOOH THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT

it's still so wild to me that most of these characters were based on and named after real historical people. dumas has SUCH an affection for cardinal richelieu. i never realized that although he's a formidable antagonist, he's presented in an almost endearing way. that's dumas' historical blorbo

a lingering question i have is HOW was athos married and madly in love and NEVER saw his wife's naked shoulder? gonna have to assume athos is a fast cummer so they never got around to undressing properly

this is book ONE of EIGHT in the musketeer cycle and i get that dumas didn't figure it'd be a series because it ends with a bratpack freeze frame about every important character and how each spent the remainder of their lives... and now i have to read the other books because HOW do you sneak in more grand adventures in between developments like that???

the old maurice leloir illustrations in the edition i read are so expressive and lovely and replicated the EXACT feeling i'd get when i'd read classics as a kid. i loved contemplating each one

[gamer-comix]

listen. it's been nearly 10 years. im an adult. i've been an adult for a while. i want to be the adult here. i want to be the bigger person. i also really don't want to, like, start shit, since it doesn't update anymore and OP seems to have dropped off the face of the earth for a couple years at this point?

but im a petty bitch so, fuck it, i'll just give a vague cliff notes version essay lol whoops.

under a cut because this is a comedy blog and not everyone wants to read about my tragic past. so only read this if you want to. seriously. it's only funny in terms of the absolute shameless audacity on display but it's mostly just kind of a huge bummer

to be perfectly clear, this isn't some "someone was mean to me in 6th grade and i'll NEVER forgive her >:(" kinda deal. im not THAT petty. we were both adults when this happened. i think she's, like, three or four years older than me actually? so keep that in mind

[backstory]

so a few months after i started twewy-comix, one of my irl friends (WHO I WILL NOT NAME) made her own blog (WHICH I WILL NOT NAME) based on it, for another series (WHICH I WILL NOT NAME). we were close friends and had drawn comix for this series together before, with me drawing four or five characters for her (important). on top of that she had a "this is based on twewy-comix, im friends with the OP" disclaimer (important) so i was completely fine with it

said series had had a new installment earlier that year (while meanwhile twewy was kinda old and sequelless) so her blog did really well. like, 50-200 or more notes per post well. again, great! love to see my friends succeed. but it got to the point where despite the disclaimer, i was getting people on my comix going "omg is this ___ comix style?!" not great! that part was annoying but It Can't Be Helped so i shrugged it off. all was well.

[/backstory]

so yeah. we kinda started drifting apart (edit: i should mention we'd been friends for at least eight years) but still kept in touch pretty frequently. like, i really want to stress that things were totally fine between us. but one day im trying to send her a meme or some shit and realize she's blocked me, like, everywhere. no explanation, nothing hinting at a reason anywhere, just. huh. i didn't have a phone back then so i had no way of contacting her, and even though we live(d) in a small town i somehow literally never saw her again. to this day i have no fucking clue what happened. did she move? did she die? who knows!

what i do know is she kept running that blog for at least five years afterward. she kept the "im friends with twewy-comix" disclaimer up for a year afterward and continued using the stuff i'd drawn for her right up to the end.

i know it's just mspaint shitposts and Really Not That Serious. but it's the principle of things, man. she'd drawn characters for twewy-comix too but i at least had the decency to stop using those after this

and not to get personal but that year and the years after (and the years before too honestly) were really, really rough for me. i was pretty much completely isolated both IRL and online. so knowing that while i was going through such a miserable time (partly due to her), she continued to rake in fandom clout using my content is just. jesus. jesus fucking christ, dude. what the fuck?

tl;dr if i ever start making comix for that series again people are gonna be really, really confused

last minute edit: this isn't a callout post. like i said at the start this person isn't active anywhere anymore afaik so let's not make this into A Thing. this is more of a "this happened. is that fucked up or what?" post. im over the ghosting part, and the stuff that happened after is annoying but it's over and done with at this point. if they come back it's fair game though

[saphire-scribbles]

Okay but, IMAGINE THIS -

The Dimitrescu daughters, but they're MOTHS. Blood-sucking, lamp loving, manthing-killing moths. Just, I love this idea.

Imagine they're getting all overexcited and violent so Lady D just whips out a lamp and that just absolutely mesmerises them....like, they live in an old fashioned castle with only oil lamps and classic fireplaces, so any electrical lamp or flashlight would just blow their minds.

Speaking of fireplaces! I headcanon that Lady D had to install like a metal mesh covering so her beloved children wouldn't just swarm into the fire

I know they have quite a bit of intelligence but we see in game that it kinda devolves when faced with the thrill of the hunt (like, they literally seem to lose the capacity to stop attacking even when getting closer and closer to death), and if they were moths I think the same thing would happen as soon as light is involved. a literal moth to flame situation

Like imagine they're chasing prey and they're so close to catching them, so close they can practically taste the blood already and - ooh lämp

Also of they were moths, hypothetically the cold would only paralyse them, like butterflies and moths irl.

And lastly! I think they'd all be different types of moths!

Bela, I think, would be a Luna moth! I know it doesn't match her choker colour, but I just feel like it fits. Idk, I just sort of equate a nice vivid green with intelligence and she's the most level-headed of the sisters? Also that would make her bigger than her sisters, as Luna moths reach an avarage wingspan of 3 - 4.5 inches (according to Google).

But if I were to match with her colour I think she'd be a cinnabar moth. The black and red just suits her perfectly

Now, Cassandra would be a Death's head hawkmoth. No, you cannot convince me otherwise. It has a SKULL on its back, its a widely recognised symbol of death and it even matches her choker! It also makes this hella cool clicking/chirping/gargling sound to ward of predators and I just LOVE it imagine you're being chased by this bloodthirsty lady that's actually a moth swarm and that's all you can hear-

Dani would either be a common emerald moth (to match her choker), or a common clothes moth. She would 100% hold some form of resentment for bearing the title of 'common', and meybe would feel a little insecure if she wasn't as unique or brightly coloured as her sisters. She would also be the sister to frequently have a good munch on her mother's clothes and curtains, much to Alcina's dismay :(

(But lemme tell ya, I've raised enough moths to know that they are ALL flappy fluttery little sweethearts regardless of colouration. They're all perfect in my damaged eyes)

The moths, for reference -

(Please note that these are just images I've pulled from Google for the purposes of this post they don't actually belong to me at all)

Cinnabar moth (Bela)

Luna moth (Bela)

Death's head Hawkmoth (Cassandra)

Common Emerald Moth (Daniela)

Common clothes moth (Daniela)

I also fully believe that Hesienberg would install moth traps to lure and kill them if ever they went to the factory 😥

[solar--system]

⚠️Vent Warning⚠️

I keep being reminded of a toxic relationship and I want to get everything off my chest about it. I finally have all the memories pieced together. Something’s mentioned will be triggering.

We used to have an IRL friend with DID. They are actually what caused us to realize we had DID. We used to live together. I got kicked out by my parents and moved in with them. We did everything together. But in the end something changed. We both had our own issues going on, considering both of our disorders, as well as depression, autism, anxiety, the stress of relationships and jobs. It didn’t help that our old host, Quinn, struggled with talking about his problems, with setting boundaries. We’re still learning how to do that, and it’s a real struggle. Our boundaries felt foolish to Quinn. He brought them up as suggestions, not bothering to protest when boundaries were broken. He only considered the issue a minor thing and would move on with life, until it happened again. And again and again and again. In his defense he tried to lay out the boundary better. But new reasons came up to push back against our boundary.

“I’m not feeling well.” “I didn’t take my meds.” “I’m dissociated.” “My tics are acting up.”

And how can you argue against any of that. Our boundaries were broken because of another person’s disability. We just had to accept that, and do what we could. But what could we do?

Here Aspen came into play. If we help our friend manage their disabilities better, then we could focus on managing our own. For a couple of months Aspen played caretaker for our friend. Not that the friend asked for us tot ale care of them, but they didn’t complain when the nightly reminders of meds began. When they came home to a clean and organized room. When their laundry was folded and put away. There were two instances that caused our friend to be unhappy with our caretaking.

1. When it required them to stop playing a game, watching a movie, laying in bed. Often times this would be when Aspen would remind them to shower, eat, take meds, drink water. Although it occasionally would come up with less important things, plans we had made together or with friends, playing with our pets, removing their demon cat from my path.

2. Anytime cleaning was brought up. Aspen was allowed to clean to pups heart content. But if pup ever suggested our friend pitch in, an argument would begin.

While Aspen began fronting more to help take care of our friend, James also started fronting more, although he locked our emotions down after we’d gotten stressed to the point of breaking down. James no longer liked our friend. He didn’t mask that fact very well. We hadn’t figured out we were a system at the time. When Quinn would front all he would know is that he wasn’t happy with the relationship we had with our friend. Between a budding hatred, the overwhelming need to take care of our friend, and the heartbreaking desire to keep this friendship.

The arguments grew more frequent. Friendly chats became short, the distance between us grew, and although we lived together we found ways to hang out with people without one another.

I’m sure it didn’t help when the friends we found outside of one another were getting over a bad breakup, so I’d hang out with my new friend and hear about all the shitty things their friend did or said, only to come home to find our old friend hanging out with them. We didn’t know how or if we should broach their hangout time. It became more unclear when we began speculating that they discussed us on occasion. Our old friend had shooed us away from their conversation once, after hearing a bit talking about our relationship. We decided we didn’t want to listen in again. Feeling hated by our old friend, and an ex friend who we weren’t quite sure how we felt about.

We had stopped having our own interests while we lived with this friend. Everything we did we did together, and more often then not it was stuff our friend liked to do. Sometimes because that’s what they decided, others because we couldn’t decide. We’d listen to them rant about special interests we didn’t care about. Play games, watch videos, do crafts, or go out based on what they wanted to do. So when the distance appeared, that was the first thing James took back.

We began watching our own shows and videos, playing our own games, going out on our own time. Having a special interest helped. We had something to focus on, intensely focus on, besides our relationship with our friend. But still we weren’t happy. The boundaries just kept getting broken, and at this point Quinn had stopped voicing his protest.

Eventually we decided to move out. The plan was to move out of state with family. To start over again, but before we could manage that we had to move in with another relative in state. We packed up our things, after discussing it with our friend, and left. That was about two years ago now. I’ve only messaged/been messaged by that friend twice since I left.

Quinn isn’t huge on ministry possessions, but he does appreciate being remembered, so when his birthday came and went, and a couple days passed with no word from our friend, who had seemed alright with our leaving, it upset Quinn. And that feeling festered inside of us until a couple days later when our friend reached out to check in on us. We never responded.

This move caused us to pull away from our entire friend group. People who were once a quick drive away now felt countries away. We didn’t want to make them choose between us and our friend, so instead we stepped away. Only to find that our friend planned to move to out of state. Before we knew it they were gone, and we had decided to stay. Life with this relative wasn’t fun or easy. The good days were great. The bad days were awful, and most days would find themselves somewhere along that spectrum. More often then not meeting the awful end. Domestic abuse, animal abuse, insults, rage, death threats, coercion and peer pressure. We was offered alcohol, weed, and other drugs, some of which we took, others we refused. This is where we learned of our system.

We lived like this for the better part of a year before we needed an escape. We reached out to our old friend group, worried that we would be blamed for the sudden move of our old friend. But thankfully we were welcomed back with open arms. And after a drunk and tearful conversation with the friend who had been closest to me and our old friend, we sent out a message to our old friend. Saying that we should try talking again.

The response we got from our friend was that we needed to apologize to them if we wanted them to even consider letting us back in their life. This frustrated us. We didn’t think we had done anything wrong, but wanting to be the bigger person, we apologized. Saying that we were sorry for how thing got towards the end. That neither of us were happy and it shouldn’t have ended that way. And that we were sorry. It wasn’t enough though, and we are to filled with pride to apologize twice for something we don’t believe in. And that was the last time we spoke.

That was over a year ago now but occasionally this friend comes to mind. We went through a lot together. I miss them. And I hate them. And I love them. I blame myself for a lot of it, and I hope that comes across. There were many things that could’ve been done differently. Maybe if we said something here or did something there things would’ve been better. I can’t convince myself that they hurt me, because there will always be a part of us that believes we are completely at fault. That we should’ve apologized for more. That we twist the way situations happen in our head to make ourselves the victim.

We’re so scared of that idea that we’d rather become the problem. So we didn’t say anything. To our friends, our family, hell, most of the system didn’t know the full story until now.

Occasionally we’d check up on our old friend through social media. They seemed happy. Which both infuriated and broke us. Tormented by questions of why they got to be happy, while we were still depressed? Why they were so happy without us? It wasn’t often that we checked up on them. Only when we wanted to feel that heartbreak again. Remind ourselves that people can be happier without us in their lives.

Quinn went dormant not long after. He hasn’t fronted in over a year. It was hard for us to adapt. No one wanted to be host, or was successful at being host, so we fronted when we were needed. Some alters fronted longer than others, maybe days at a time, but then they wouldn’t front again for another couple of days, a week if lucky. Overtime new alters formed, believing themselves to be the new host, but each time they’d wind up fronting for a period only to switch out for longer. House is the first host we’ve had in a year.

I keep thinking about our old friend because our friend group has a new friend who looks very similar. Recently we noticed this friend is closer to the friends our old friend was closer too. Old friends best friend besides me is new friends best friend. And just once in a while they’ll appear on my socials my heart will stop… Because I think it’s my old friend and I don’t know what I feel in this moment but I’m pretty sure it can be summed up as panic.

I love you. I miss you. I hate you. I wish we’d never met. I hated you for how you needed me. How you loved me. I was scared you’d give up, you’d die if I left, because that’s what you’d told me long before our relationship became like this. And now you’re better off without me… I hate you. I miss you.

I don’t know if I’d want to talk with them again. To be a part of their life, or have them as a part of ours. But there’s also a part of me that hopes they read this and recognize me. That we can fix what we had an make things better. I don’t know if I’d even give it the chance.

I hate the panic we get from thinking of you, when memories of you resurface in my everyday life. I hate the way my heart drops and my blood runs cold. I hate the ache of know it’s not you and that you don’t think of me anymore. I hate the way you make me feel. Yet I miss you.

I got kind of blurry while writing this, so I’m not sure if it all makes sense or if things are phrased weird. I’m not sure if this is all feeling or if some of it is writing just to fill in space. We might read it some day. When we think of our friend again. Not today at least. Today it hurts too much.

[sharmoota-job]

IM SCREAMING THANK U @tigertofu FOR THE TAG!!!!

i tag anybody who wants to do this bc i am afraid of bothering ppl with pings but if u see this and wanna do it I OFFICIALLY TAG YOU! (i will however tag @mrfancybigcityideas @nightmaretherabbit teehee

--

Were you named after anyone?

i was named after someone from the bible (my deadname) HUGSHDGUIDHBV. i am still trying to think of a name that fits me

Do you have kids?

no kids, unfortunately i can't have them bc of my health. but someday when i'm older, more stable mentally and financially i'd love to foster or adopt with my husband <3

Use sarcasm a lot?

not that frequently actually!! i only use when something inconvenient happens irl HUSGHUAGV

First thing you notice 'bout people?

usually a little bit of everything! i couldnt tell you what i notice first but thinking about it i'd probably have to say either their eyes, the way their faces are constructed or the clothes they're wearing!

Eye color?

hazel!

Scary movies or happy ending?

WAIT CAN I PICK BOTH I LOVE BOTH!!! i loooove love horror movies and im a sucker for happy endings (two of my fav scary movies have 'happy' endings (not too happy) that work out for the main character(s) in some way and i love that)

Special talent?

hyperfixating on old men and giving them angst (just kidding. i dont rly think i have any special talents!)

Your hobbies?

drawing, writing, playing video games, cooking, listening to music, making videos, collecting things i enjoy, stuff like that! my main two hobbies are drawing and writing!

Any pets?

three cats!!!!! i could talk for hours about them but i will try to refrain HUFHDSG. (we actually had a fourth cat earlier this year; we were raising a kitten my husband saved from a feral cat colony and we got her socialized properly! my grandmother in law ended up loving her so we let her keep her!)

Playing any sport?

i used to be an avid bowler before i moved out of my hometown in new york!!! i'm not too big on sports anymore but i do keep up on if the buffalo sabres or the buffalo bills have won any games though huishuiashg

How tall..?

5'3!

Favourite subject in school?

ART!!!! and home ec! (i also loved english and music!!!! music was SO fun for me but i could never understand how to read sheet music ): i had to learn to play by ear hfuishdguhd)

Dream job:

making webcomics, being an animator or writing my own books!! as a kid i wanted to work with animals but i have a lot of physical limitations now so id love to create content

[unnounblr]

Is anyone else weirdly disappointed that 1610's Aunt May moved to Florida in that first montage with Miles?

Like, I get it's a joke about her being old, but. From an IRL perspective, it makes it seem like Aunt May is okay with bigotry, which is bad. Florida is where Trayvon Martin, a black teen was shot to death because of racist stand your ground laws, so a black teen helping an old white (probably Jewish but still white-passing) lady go there kinda fricking sucks. Also, there's a lot of LGBTQ+ bigotry in Florida lately IRL, so that sucks too, after May's semi-implied thing with Liv.

Also, from a Spider-Man comic book perspective, Florida is infamously where Curt Conners likes to run around as The Lizard and Peter frequently has to go down there to drag him back to New York. In the history of Spider-Man comics, nothing good ever happens in Florida.

Why couldn't the montage have just. Had Aunt May be Miles's mentor/helper/tech support, like she was in the first movie? Ganke was refusing to do it.

[protokirby]

Some dream stories. (I was asleep for nearly 21 hours so there's a lot to cover here)

1. I got a new pokemon soul silver version from the internet and was playing it. Came across some weird department store that wasn't in the original game. It was shaped like a pyramid and was made of golden bricks and I figured I bought an edited version of the game by mistake. One weird thing about the department store is that I wasn't allowed to walk my pokemon in there (or have them at all) or run. NPC at the front of the store confiscated my pokemon and running shoes when I walked in and said I would get them back when I left. I thought that was weird and annoying of course, but curiosity kept me checking the rest of the department store. It had just standard pokemon department store stuff like a pokeball floor, tm floor, etc. Things took a weird turn when I walked into some weird blue lamp thing and was suddenly in a weird new place and there was no door back. Hilariously, I recall thinking "I'm not going to save my game here....." and that's pretty accurate to my irl self. If something looks suspicious, I don't save in case I realize I need to do something else first. Otherwise, I compulsively save very frequently. Anyway, after like a second, the dream atmosphere felt like a nightmare and a dialogue box appeared on the screen that said "There is no escape" and I was teleported into the game as the player character Ethan, because as typical of my irl self, I did choose the boy character, and I was like "oh cool I'm a boy now". I was walking forward, now physically in the game, and I encountered some terrifying blue monster thing the same shade of blue as the lamp thing that brought me here. Some sort of icy blue. I don't remember what happened during that encounter, but I remember I found Leon and Sonia who were also trapped there somehow. They were very spooked at first to see a random child walking towards them in a place like this but then they realized I was trapped there too. So then, the 3 of us were all trying to find an escape together, fighting those blue spooky monsters along the way. Eventually, we came to some room full of liquid that closely resembled the way acid looks in Block Story so I casually say aloud "This looks like acid" and Leon and Sonia look spooked by this. Not because there's this like oddly confident un-scared 10 year old kid who seems to know what he's talking about saying it, (though maybe a little of that too) but because the floor is of similar color to the liquid so mis-stepping and falling in isn't something that would be difficult. Anyway, I mis-step and fall in. I was thinking "Oh cool. It isn't acid. I was wrong." and waving my arms trying to swim up and it wasn't working and I think "Looks like swimming isn't possible in this or there's some kind of suction or something in this so I should teleport." and so I teleport back to where Leon and Sonia are. I do not remember if they had much of a reaction to that or anything. I don't remember much after that other than at some point, there was a room with some cauldrons full of lava and I knocked them over onto some monster things in order to save Leon and Sonia. There are plenty of other empty places of memory, as this was the earliest dream I remember this time but it ended with me figuring out the way out, Leon and Sonia thanking me(I think), and I go out of the game world. Then I go into the bathroom and see a weird goose the same icy blue color as the spooky things before waking up like some sort of cliche twist ending.

Something to note of this dream is that if I were presented the opportunity of seeing Leon in a place like that, despite usually being a good honest person, I would play the role of a scared little kid to get hugs from Leon. Thinking about it, that might not even really count as deception because irl, I am the biggest coward I know, meaning I wouldn't be as confident as I was in the dream and also, I was Ethan in that situation so technically, I was a kid instead of being 21. So, I would in fact be a scared little kid. Also there's something just so pleasant about being able to take charge during a nightmare like that.

2. I only remember small bits of random detail from this one so this will be pretty much just a summary. Some squirrel-like critter steals a sword from Leon and some wild adventure begins. The sword is verrry important but the critter liked the way it shines and took it without a care in the world. The critter realized Leon is going to great lengths to get the sword back and hired thugs to attack him. The thugs get a look at the sword and see that it looks like it has more value than everything the critter is offering so they just take the sword and then Leon and the critter team up. The critter is revealed to be Sonic the Hedgehog under some kind of curse. Leon breaks the curse and Sonic feels remorse for what he did while under the curse. Leon reassures Sonic that the curse made him do that and now they just have to go get the sword back. Eventually, they find Eon from Skylanders and ask him to help. Eon says no because that sounds hard which is very out of character for that guy. Leon goes on some kind of mini-rant about how everyone will perish if he doesn't get the hero sword back and that's about when I wake up.

Something to note about that dream is that the specific sword known simply as "the hero sword" or alternatively "the sword of arceus" is something from one of my alternate universes and yeah, losing that sword would guarantee the universe's destruction in the au because it's necessary for saving the world. Completely wasn't expecting a reference to that au in the dream. It may have been inspired by how after the nightmare, I was awake for a few hours working on an animation for the au before deciding to go back to sleep. It's got 29 frames done so far :D

3. It was a megaman related dream. Mostly characters from megaman battle network, but there were a few from megaman x as well. Also it an "anime special" and was set 2 years after the events of the final megaman battle network game. Laika became a movie star for some reason. He was doing some sort of event where fans got to go talk to him. Grimsely from pokemon was there for some reason and also wearing a fake moustache. Lan was there too wanting to talk to Laika because it's been so long. Zero from megaman x was somewhere around and he died for reasons I don't remember. I can't exactly say that's out of character for him though. Most of this dream was a blur so that's about it.

4. Barely have any memory of this one, but I colored over a digimon sprite from digimon world dawn and then the entire digimon world crashed. The characters from digimon adventure had to go fix my mistake.

5. Leon and Hop got teleported to some strange alternate version of the how to train your dragon universe where the dragons could talk and Hiccup didn't exist. They were teleported to separate places and Leon was worried sick about Hop the entire time. He couldn't find Hop, so Leon made friends with some dragon riders and got a dragon to ride too and figured he'd have a better chance of finding Hop with the help of a group. Leon accidentally became their leader. Mostly don't remember what was going on other than oh no a lot of danger/someone almost gets eaten/stuff like that. Anyhoo, there was a huge dragon who wasn't happy with smaller dragons being friends with people. Leon and the rest of the dragon riders were taken by this big dragon. Big dragon was wanting to eat all of them and everything seemed completely hopeless. Then out of nowhere, a powerful dragon's voice says "Okay Hop, it's go time" while swooping in. I frickin' woke up at this time. Probably the worst cliffhanger a dream has ever left me on. Tried to go back to sleep to try and see if I could finish that dream even though at this time I was no longer tired and unfortunately couldn't and I'm angry

[1-deadgirlwalking-1]

6/6/2024

it is 5:51pm. I’ve been stayin up til around 6am then going to sleep and waking up at 2pm very frequently recently. It’s become a terrible habit for the past month or so. sucks to be me I guess.

I’ve been a little better with my kana, can now read all k and s characters, so yay. (proverbially pats myself on the back.)

Today I had a therapy appointment, I had just woken up and forgot I even had one so I was woefully unprepared. It was quite stressful. The old therapist that I liked didn’t have a license in my state, so we couldn’t have another appointment together. After that appointment with the old therapist our doctors office also suddenly remembered my mothers therapist she’s been seeing for years, and our psychiatrist we’ve been seeing since I was a young child, don’t have licenses in our state either. And are now making us drive an 2 hours round trip for every single appointment. For this reason my mom might have to change therapists. But we aren’t going through the trouble of changing psychiatrists since we don’t even have to call her that often.

I feel bad. My room is shit. messy. I don’t shower often or brush my teeth ever. I don’t eat very much and I’m always dehydrated. I’ve gotten out of the habit of taking care of myself at least a little bit and it’s making me feel worse mentally. My best friend blocked me after reading a bunch of texts messages I sent him at 2am (as in he read them at 2am, not I sent them 2am), and I feel bad. I think I stressed / freaked him out and now he’s pushing me away. I hope he’s okay. I don’t want him to be doing bad mentally either.

and I’m upset about that happening. My other best friend I’ve been talking to more but i feel fake talking to them. We are friends and I love them but i just don’t. Want them to think i’m fucking weird and leave me. I didn’t have to worry about that with my other friend but now I only have the one because I freaked the other one the fuck out by asking him to hang out a bunch and begging him to respond to me when I know he’s having a hard time. Everyone I’ve told the situation about is acting like he’s a bad friend and I just don’t know how to explain it to them. That he really isn’t and that isn’t me lying or being delusional.

I don’t know how to fix everything. Does anyone know how to go out and do things after being locked in your house 24/7 for 4 years and now only having one irl friend. It’s like where do i go. where do i start. I don’t know. I just want to leave my house. And go out regularly. Like a normal person. Where do normal people go to do normal people things. I wish I could just stop existing it’s too stressful. It’s too much. things. I hate it. I want it to end, I just want to sleep. But not forever I don’t want to die, I just want a better life really. but I don’t know where to start working towards that. It kills me. I’m tired. I’m gonna take a nap. sleep. forever.

[dumbluckpup]

You know, with the recent realization of it being a year, it got me thinking about that old ex of mine that’s honestly probably still stalking me.

I can only imagine how they’re taking the vague implication of a messy breakup as me “suffering” or some bs

When really it’s quite the opposite, I’m doing better than I’ve ever been! I have a good career started, and I’m working towards moving out of my friend’s place within the next year.

I’m going to so many parties and events and shows, I have a bunch of friends irl who know I frequent furry bondage nights at the club. I know people actually like me!

I know the stalker is just as petty as I am and likely still keeping up with me to try and feel better about themself, but I’m never giving that diaper loving asshole the satisfaction of knowing what happened, instead I’ll reminisce on some things that were good.

For starters, they never threatened to off themselves just because I was busy like someone did.

They never acted like I was using them just because they could drive and I couldn’t.

They supported me through quite a few medical journeys in order to better myself, and didn’t get upset that I was exercising and getting healthy.

They NEVER got jealous that I had friends. That I had friendships that took up some of my time. That I had friends that would get me gifts. Wild concept. That I had friends that once I broke up with your controlling ass were like “oh thank god we were worried because you’d gotten so closed off”

I lost the point of this ramble I think, but hey piece of shit if you’re still out there reading this just know you’re still the worst thing that ever happened to me and all my friends know about the dirty diaper lover that sexualizes toddler cartoons and dated a teenager but is 100% not a pedo c:

[meditating-dog-lover]

Filling in empty social gaps

I remember making an old post here in April talking about how I had little social interaction (both friendship and romantic) growing up and was frequently excluded, causing me to feel emptiness and loneliness. Also I spoke about how I was socially awkward and had a strict dad who prevented me from socializing and dating.

I recently had a guy tell me he is happy to make that up for me (the emptiness) on one of my alt accounts. That did fill in, in a weird way, the emptiness I had to a degree and it felt really nice. I'm not used to these types of interactions and sometimes they make me cringe. I'm in a position where the idea of talking to a guy makes me cringe and I tend to block off emotions, but also deep down I feel like I need this type of interaction. Though this isn't a meaninigful, deep interaction, it's moreso skin-deep and physical.

This emptiness I felt for 10+ years being address and filled by a guy, not that I want to live my life for a guy and I really don't. I don't mean this in a bad way because he is nice (a lot nicer than my peers at school were). I'm in a position where I don't want to commit but also don't mind this simple communication because it fills some emptiness I know I have but don't want to admit to it because it involves me admitting I have feelings for others (not necessarily feelings of attraction, but just a general feeling of wanting to connect because I am lonely and empty). Going to therapy and seeing my therapist has a similar gap filling effect as well.

As someone who is empty I've had this feeling towards those who were awful to me, which sucks because I hate appeasing and going after people who were assholes to me. Though the last time I felt this emptiness being theoretically filled (I say theoretically because it happened in my head and not irl) was in 2010 by the only people I knew who were my peers. I've ignored this feeling for 10+ years and it came to bite me in the ass in 2021. So it's nice to have, while not a serious nor deep relationship, someone fill this gap and tell me nice things about how I have a nice vibe and am very pretty especially when I'm not doing great emotionally (eczema flareups, Gaza, poor confidence, emptiness, awkward social skills). Of course this isn't longterm either, it's until I can find a meaningful longterm relationship. I just need something for now to fill this emptiness, and it helps that this interaction happened (since April) because it taught me that I am feeling a sense of emptiness and it's okay to work on being fulfilled.

I have a lot going on for me in life. With my education, job/career, finances, freedom, general privileges, etc... But this is where I fall short, and I know it won't be like this forever.

[diamondeyes-deluxe]

Sometimes I think about this old friend I used to have. I think he was 6 years older than me? And in hindsight this friendship was like a buffet of red flags but nothing really came out of it?

Cw for talk of grooming and mentions of drawn csam

I literally met this guy on 4chan, so... Yeah. First red flag. I was 14 and really into mlp and i drew fanart for it, and he wanted to put together like a fan art collection for a specific niche on the board. We exchanged contact info on it (I know) and just started talking and being friends. So I'm pretty sure he was 20 at this time.

We'd talk about sex pretty frequently? Like not in regards to doing it with each other at all just, sharing turn ons and offs and casually sending each other nsfw things. I was always really open about that kind of stuff even from a young age and they're like the same kind of convos I had with people of my own age too at the time that don't seem unhealthy to me in hindsight. Lots of just raunchy humor too. But I have to wonder if the age gap between us put those conversations in a different context for him.

I even specifically remember him sending me an nsfw drawing one time of a character from a 90s kids cartoon. And I was like "woah isn't that character only like 9 or 10?" And he was like "yeah but it's fine cuz it's a cartoon" and I, at like 15, didn't really know much about this topic and didn't want to argue and possibly push away someone who had become a close friend to me but it felt icky so I was like "hmmm I just don't like that so please don't send me nsfw art of children characters" and he backed off. Years later I realized this is a tactic used by groomers to normalize the concept of underage ppl having sex. But like I had already been sexually active with ppl my own age at this point and just was not attracted to him? So the only thing I felt was "ew please don't do that again."

He'd commission art from me a lot. I wasn't very great at art but he'd consistently commission me, mostly nsfw. I had no problem with that but again in hindsight I wonder if there was an extra layer of enjoyment for him knowing that a 14/15/16 year old was drawing his porn. He even asked me like a few days after I turned 18 if I could draw nsfw art of him and his gf (yeah he had a gf this whole time too) and send me nude photos "for Reference" now that I was "legal". I was like sure and he sent them but I never ended up drawing them.

When I was like 17 or 18 we actually started hanging out irl after realizing he lived close to a family member who I visited every summer. (My family was so paranoid about me "meeting up with a guy you met on 4chan???!!!" And I was like girl relaaaaax it's fineeeee I've been talking to this now 24 year old for 3 years. Lmao. Sorry fam I get it now.)

Nothing ever really happened on these hangouts? He even took me to his house twice but didn't do anything. There was the same raunchy jokes and openness about sex but he didn't ever touch me or afaik try to flirt with me. EXCEPT one time he said something like "you know i always thought if me and [gfs name] weren't together that you and I would go out" n I was like "huh? No silly we're just friends and you're too old for me lol. I've never thought of you like that!" And he never brought it up again.

Anyways we didn't talk as much the next few years because I just kind of ghosted EVERYONE after high school (no object permanence and bad mental health) until eventually when I was 20 he randomly blocked me. Welp. I'm 25 now and haven't heard from him since. Anyway that's my story of how I was probably definitely being groomed but was saved by the power of autistically not realizing he was showing interest in me.

[away-ward]

The most unbelievable thing about that instagram dn post is emory having an account, ots so funny 🤣 im sorry, i cannot ever imagine em ever having an active personal account, no matter how much she loves will and their children, or were coerced by her current family to make and be active on one. Someone like her wouldnt give 2 fucks to post or like anything, especially commenting something pettily possessive on will's ig, she would just "punish" him irl for the fun of it (will being hot and a bad boy), or The only other way she would have an account if its a foreplay between willemmy where will talks about his love being "claimed" by her in fromt of everyday, especially in "the light/day", like how he loves it when she claimed, loved, fucked or confessed to him in front of everybody, even their ex-schoolmates/alumni, lmao. But outside of those fun foreplays, she would most probably only scroll through insta from someone else's phones or accounts, even then, only occassionally. I'm not saying she hates every social media or anything, i feel like people with a lot of unique interests like emmy would be more active on discursive social medias like reddit or youtube to watch tutorials for her hobbies, or even cooking blogs and irl stores or places than be on short hyper-interactive social media like insta, snapchat, tiktok. Out of all the girls, emmy would probably say something like "what the fuck is a snapchat? is that a dog filter?" I love emmy, but she sounds like my grandma sometimes ☠️🤣

Hey. Usually I wouldn’t have a thought about this because the only site I’m on is this one, but I’d have to disagree with you here. Because canon.

And yeah, I don’t think there would be anything wrong with her wanting to document her personal life. She was a sad teenager who now has a husband and three kids and people who really care about her. Her having a personal insta would not be the most unbelievable thing in the world.

She would most probably only scroll through insta from someone else’s phones or accounts, even then, only occasionally.

I could believe that she doesn’t use it as frequently as some of the others. Maybe there’s weeks or months between her posts. It’s definitely not the first thing she does in the morning. She might not even open the app every day. But there’s a time and place for it.

emmy would be more active on discursive social medias like reddit or youtube to watch tutorials for her hobbies, or even cooking blogs and irl stores

Everyone’s Youtube subscriptions or recs would be interesting! I can totally believe her putting something on in the background while she works, having diy or rebuild channels on. There’s one youtuber that I watched for a while who was rebuilding a cabin and I always thought it would have been nice if Emmy in the 9 years had a small cabin that she rebuilt, maybe as a place to go between school semesters, so she didn’t have to find a place to rent, and it gave her something to work on. It would have been a nice way for her to work through some stuff, process what had happened to her, and figure herself out a little.

I know I have some pretty plain ideas about how Emmy spent that time, but I, like everyone else, wish she had done something for herself and had a life worth remarking about outside of Thunder Bay, outside of Will.

Out of all the girls, emmy would probably say something like "what the fuck is a snapchat? is that a dog filter?" I love emmy, but she sounds like my grandma sometimes ☠️🤣

Yeah. She’s probably not on snapchat. And poor Emmy. The girls probably tease her about her old fashion sayings, but what can she do when she was raised by a woman born in the 30s. Besides, Emmy probably hangs on to those phrases because it keeps her close to her grandma.

What I find even more interesting is that Damon checks instagram first thing in the morning.

It's honestly the most normal teenager-thing about him. Of course, he's having a really abnormal conversation. But he's a man of duality.