#just a Tuesday afternoon

[tooboredtothinkofaname]

In a mood for a long and slow, delicate rimming sesh

[lotusbxtch]

Put My Body To Work

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x f!Reader Word count: 622 Rating: Explicit 18+ MDNI Tags: PWP, squirting (like this is a central part of the fic so if you don't like it, keep scrolling), unprotected PIV (do better, they're doing their best in an apocolypse), pulling out as a BC method, cum, fluids, seriously messy, allusions to fingering and oral (f receiving), Joel is a menace per usual, age gap implied but not specified, Reader is able bodied and has female genitalia but otherwise undescribed. a/n: the horny demons hath possessed me. don't know where this came from but it materialized in a group chat with @for-a-longlongtime and @mountainsandmayhem. happy hump day! bonus points if you can guess which Hozier song this is from.

Masterlist

Headcanon: Jackson!Joel finding out you’ve never squirted before — and after the apocalypse happened you didn’t really have access to any instructions on how to — and now he’s obsessed with being the first one to make you squirt. Once he gets you to do it the first time, he wants to get you to do it more often than not. 

After a little practice, he knows your body cues well enough to bring you to that peak easily using his fingers and tongue. Rhythmic, fast flicks of his wrist, his thick fingers buried in your sopping cunt, toying with your clit just right, and pressing right above your pubic bone has you crying out his name, your ecstasy spurting and soaking him at his command. Getting you there makes his chest puff with pride and salacious desire.

But now he wants you to do it on his cock.

He’s got you straddling him reverse cowgirl on his bed, both of you sitting up and facing his bedroom mirror, because he wants you to watch yourself as you squirt. 

“Y’look so beautiful when you do it, baby, want you to see for yourself,” he murmurs, encouraging you to work yourself on his dick, your body rolling and grinding and your whimpers like the sweetest song to him. Presses his big hand on your lower belly to help increase the pressure, your fingers swirling around your swollen clit.

Your thighs start to shake with exertion and he takes over, holding your hips up as he hammers into your sweet spot. Your brows knit together and your lips pop open, panting and moaning his name. Sweat shimmers like a veil across your skin and his, the scent of sex as thick in the air as the sound of your squelching cunt.

“C’mon sugar, you can do it,” Joel grunts into your ear, fingers dimpling your supple skin. “I feel you squeezing me so tight. Pretty pussy’s so soft and wet f’me.” His voice is tight with his impending release, but he’s holding himself back for you, for your pleasure. 

You feel the pressure mounting, and your whimpers become whines, louder and louder until you’re nearly screaming. Joel pumps his thick cock into you at the perfect pace, rocketing you higher and higher. Suddenly, you feel your nerves gathering at your core, strung taut like a bowstring.

“Oh fuck, Joel…” you whimper, “I think… I think I’m gonna… oh GOD…!”

The drop happens, and you shatter for him, orgasm rippling through your veins. Then, that delicious tension snaps. Just as Joel moves one hand from your hip to grip your chin, turning your face to the mirror, you squirt. Your wide eyes watch yourself in fascination as clear liquid sprays from the apex of your thighs across your lap, Joel’s cock, and the bedsheets. It is a sight to behold.

Joel moans devotedly. “Perfect little pussy squirting all over my cock… good girl, baby… so pretty….” he babbles. Then he’s biting a moan in half as he pulls out, cock pulsing and cum shooting across your pussy lips and inner thighs, dripping onto the bed.

You both collapse against each other on your sides, bodies slick and sticky. Breathing heavily, Joel whimpers as his cock gives one more small spurt against the small of your back, and then he’s kissing your neck, running his hands across the combination of fluids marking your bodies.

“Made a fuckin’ mess,” he huffs, holding you close against him anyway.

Your ass grinds against his lap, reveling for a moment in the debauched sensations. You hum contentedly, then turn your head to smirk at him, because you don’t give a damn this time. “Ain’t my turn to do the laundry, honey.”

Taglist (assuming you like horny menace Joel): @sin-djarin @penvisions @perotovar @mermaidgirl30 @whocaresstillthelouvre @jeewrites @joelmillerisapunk @qveerthe0ry @qunariagenda @syd-djarin @goodwithcheese @guiltyasdave @reggiesfilthylittlesecret @campingwiththecharmings @reallyrallyauthor @itwasntimethatdidit40 @baronessvonglitter @evolnoomym @hoeruiness @hellishjoel @kedsandtubesocks @luxurychristmaspudding @nicolethered @notjustjavierpena @javierpena-inatacvest @julesonrecord @slimybeth69 @chaotic-mystery @missdictatorme @max--phillips @ozarkthedog @oonajaeadira @ohhoneypascal

[sam-reid]

Interview with the Vampire Stars Rewatch Season 2 Scenes | Jacob Anderson, Sam Reid, Delainey Hayles

[smrtnik07]

i havent drawn anything worth posting in a while hi ^__^ erm..... are texans always this strange and unusual?

[odakota-rose]

so many gems in the Doctor Who script library the BBC just released but today I'm here in 4x02, The Fires of Pompeii

[becca-e-barnes]

Can i request something where bucky has a smutty obsession with sundresses? Just the way his doll looks in them and stuff?

I've definitely written Bucky loving sundresses before but now that there's a bit of a chill in the air, I'm imagining the same sundresses but with tights underneath 😏

Having the tights keeps you a little bit warmer but it doesn't give Bucky the access he's used to. The tights are such a tease because he knows how flimsy they are but they're in the way of what he wants and that would never do.

He does love the feeling of them though. The thin material is so smooth under his fingertips, there's an attractive sheen to them and he finds he can't take his eyes off your legs, right at the hem of your dress.

"Sweetheart." Bucky's voice is firm and it makes you smile to yourself. "Come here."

He's sitting by the kitchen table, sipping his coffee and you know that he's been watching you since you came down to make your breakfast.

You peck his lips softly when you reach him, enjoying the way a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "Everything okay?" You ask, letting him press his knee between your thighs, spreading your legs.

His hands land on your legs out of instinct. The silky smooth feeling does something for him that he didn't quite expect and for a second, touching you over the fabric feels just as intimate as touching your bare skin.

"I like these." Bucky teases, squeezing your ass, making you roll slightly against his thigh.

"I'm glad you like them. You need to be gentle though, you'll rip them."

That wasn't even something he'd considered but now it's all he can think about. Those perfect tights, totally ruined, your panties pushed out of the way so there's nothing between your body and his fingers.

"You've never really liked it when I'm too gentle." He reminds you and you can't help but giggle because he's right and you know it. "What if... I just ripped a hole. Right here. Between your legs." His fingers tap the apex of your thighs, through your tights and underwear and your only option is to grind down on his thigh just a little harder.

"That would ruin them." You rock your hips back and forth, enjoying the friction against his insanely muscular thigh, letting your own need build.

"I don't think so. I think it might make them better. You know I like those pretty dresses you wear. Putting that flimsy fabric in the way is just a tease." Both of his hands meet under your skirt, testing the resistance of the material when he tugs in different directions.

"Rip them." You whisper, half pleading.

He huffs out a quiet laugh, pulling harder and you feel the fabric give the whole way across with little ladders beginning to run down the legs.

"Bend over. Let me see." You do as you're told, standing up, pulling the skirt of your dress up to expose your clothed sex to him.

It's not clothed for long though, he widens the hole just a little, slipping your panties to the side to allow him to sink a finger into your wet, eager, inviting cunt, quickly followed by a second.

"Pretty little hole to fuck you through." He muses, watching you try to resist the urge to fuck yourself on his fingers, getting more and more desperate for his cock.

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: Angel once texted me "your adorable" so I texted him back "No, YOU'RE adorable".

Charlie: …And?

Husk: And now we're dating, we've been dating for three months.

Husk: All I did was point out a typo, but I like him, so l'm not complaining.

[akaeyamain]

I’m so deep in the Khaenri’ah trenches right now, I’ve started seeing Dainsleif in my sleep.

The fandom is sleeping on the NATLAN ARCHON QUEST LORE BOMBS, and I’m here to SCREAM ABOUT IT.

Let’s recap:

• Capitano, our favorite 6’2" walking tragedy, was literally a sentient corpse whose heart acted like a teapot stuffed with dead Khaenri’ahn/Natlan souls. Iconic.

• Clothar is our equally iconic weird uncle who had a kid with a mondstadian baddie and spent his life figuring out how to cure his son...and also dies. Like- actually dies.

• Meanwhile, Capitano had to trigger a whole ass paradox before the shade of death, just to give the souls he carried, rest. (and even then, when Thrain told her "if you don't agree, then let me be the sacrifice and die then" the Ruler of Death was like ‘LOL no, <3’ ).

BUT HERE’S THE PLOT HOLE THAT KEEPS ME AWAKE:

HOW DID CLOTHAR ALBERICH JUST… DIE?!

This man was cursed with immortality like Dainsleif/Pierro, yet we found his BONES UNDER MUSHROOMS like some forgotten side quest.

Meanwhile, Capitano had to orchestrate a dimensional paradox just to maybe rest. WHAT GIVES?!

POSSIBLE ANSWERS (RANKED BY COPIUM LEVELS):

• The Alberichs hacked the curse ( Trough alchemy? Sheer spite?).

• Clothar stuck the loom of fate so far up where the sun doesn't shine, it rewinded his existence until when he wasn't born WHO SAID THAT???

BOTTOM LINE: Clothar’s death isn’t just a plothole—it’s proof the Alberichs are built different. And Kaeya? OH DONT GET ME STARTED ABOUT KAEYA!!!

[atarashiigakkoworld]

Michael Jackson's showtime offical video⚡⚡wow⚡😁♥️

[cesaray]

[sashabeloved]

Spy has come to visit his wife. He's brought her favorite flowers of course.

His wife is reapplying her mascara from having cried most of it off.

[icantalk710]

Hi I have lost control of the week and went to jog about it 🥲

[elizabeth-mitchells]

how to balance the experience of reading romance books so it's more "aw how cute and fun" and less "oh fuck no one will ever love me like this". asking for a friend

[doctorweebmd]

anyway recently i've been feeling kind of weird about my writing and feeling like i should be better more eloquent more impactful more poetic more groundbreaking just MORE like i'm not living up to my potential

and the logical part of me is like

'anna. what the fuck do you mean not 'living up to your potential.' you write FANFICTION. you make dolls KISS. in your SPARE TIME. for FUN. you are PLAYING. why are you developing a complex about THIS'

girl kill that curriculum vitae in your head can't you just LIVE without making each fucking thing you do an accomplishment you can list on a job application

[cn-alastair-lite]

the worst, but also the funniest thing they'll make you do in archival-raport writing jobs, is to describe absolutely diabolical things that happened during meetings using the nicest words possible

[mew-ya]