#just 2 have someth to do again i guess
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chapter 1 of reassassination's nearly done script-wise! hopefully the next chapters won't take like 6 months of on-and-off work to complete lol
#but i have GOOD REASON as to why it took so long#1. i had no clue how exactly to write the characters and they literally swapped characterisation with every scene#luckily now i've solidified krankenstein as a paranoid control freak#and octavia as a superficially cool girl with a sailor's mouth and zero social awareness#honestly its so hard to explain her chara. basically: character who seems stoic and cool and mysterious but is actually just super autistic#2. i had NO CLUE how and when to expose information#now chapter 1 only gives a superficial look at krank and octavia's characters and the most basic info about postmortem#and the “rules” of octavia (perfect pendant etc)#and 3. i was writing it like a standalone for a while#i had to put a lot of changes into the script in order to turn the chapter into the foundation for a few opening “mini-arcs”#of which will give a lot of characterisation and purpose into postmortem highschool characters#like onion and jaundice#rather than being kind of disconnected like before#anyway now that im nearly done all i need to do is FINALFINALFINALise the designs#(which will probably have a shit ton more changes to make em actually drawable over and over again)#and design environments and props (like krankenstein medical clinic and postmortem as a whole)#even so i only want to start releasing the comic when at least a quarter of the scripts are done and the story is 100% finalised#i have a lot of freedom being out of school right now so i want to write as much as possible#so i guess it will release around late 2025 or mid 2026 in the best case scenario assuming something insane doesnt happen to me
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watched the first ep of Dead Boy Detectives today, did anyone also think the dialogue was a bit clunky?
I don't mean it was unwatchable or anything i just feel like it didn't feel realistic the way they introduced the characters and world... It felt like the dialogue was for the viewer instead of an in character thing. We were gonna be introduced to a viewer surrogate within the first few minutes, there was no need to have the characters who already know how the show's world works spell it out for nobody... and then explain it again when Crystal showed up? idk it felt like something I would write (not a complient) 😅
#the line ''we have to hide from death... or she'll get us'' was ridiculous#do you think the boy that's been escaping death since 1919 or whatever doesn't know?!#''we have to hide'' was enough the viewer can put 2 and 2 together and deduce it's bad if death sees them#to then minnutes later have them explain to crystal why they have to hide from death again...#just let the characters adress the camera if you wanna spell it out so easily#or you know... trust that the viewer is intelligent enough to wait 2 minutes for an explanation?#it was mostly just that first few mins of the first ep i think#i didn't pick up on anything else that trully bothered me#but idk it felt condecending dkjfghkdfg or simply badly written#which it was a bit of a let down to have it as a very first impression#i guess i went in thinking sandman and got like idk generic teen show#in the dialogue alone btw i actually really like the characters and the premise is awesome!#it just cuaght me by surprise#maybe it because i'm also watching fallout and the dialogue on that is like very well done and everything is a hint for something later#so i'm comparing it idk#anyways... is it just me? or was it actually clunky?#(don't spoil it past ep 1 pls)#angel talks#dead boy detectives#really liking it so far tho!
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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brother, i am in the overwhelmed city. the headache city. the holy shit i'm actually sick city. the i have no grasp on life city. i literally can't keep up with anything anymore city
#life#i genuinely feel like someone sent me to the ISS#and i was doing maintenance on the exterior#but i accidentally let go and oops i realized i'm totally untethered#just floating through space#further and further away from whatever my life once was#but at least i have dragon age i guess#i miss my blorbos though.. i miss malstarion.. but my mind struggles to like...#focus on multiple things#it's been getting bad™ bad#so sorry gamers i haven't really been talkative in DMs and whatnot#idk how many 'c'est la vie' i have in me anymore...#and the worst part is that i feel this sense of hopelessness start to sink in#because i'm scared it's just something that won't change#anyway off to see the psychiatrist again tomorrow can't wait to cry for 2 hours straight ✌️😗
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i have done...an absolute deep dive into blues and folk music tonight. it was 100% one of those blink and three hours have passed type of deals. worth it though.
#be warned if you go into the tags i will explain how this all came up. educational but long!#so it started with two questions. mostly because i live in the ozarks i wanted to know and secondly i like music if you haven't caught on#(btw i am so giving you guys the quick and easy version if you are reading this at all)#anyway. the first question was 'why does the ozarks have such a country influence but also bluegrass but also blues but also folk but al-'#because while i grew up in stl i am now like. living living in the ozarks right? right. and i for sure can see how we are the like...#the little sibling of the appalachian mountains. and i thought it was just cause aw cute mini mountains (highlands people)#but instead its cause there were settlers from appalachia! which makes a ton of sense now seeing influences and culture etc etc#so we cleared up that. we know why the ozarks is the way it is (or at least part of it)#btw anyone who says branson is a “true reflection” of the ozarks is out of their damn minds.#that shit is tourist central and just drives me up the wall. they are playing a parody of themselves is the best way to describe it#caricature maybe??? point is. “h'yuck h'yuck we're the country jubilee!” is not uhhhh ozarks and never was?#like it was but they took it a step further. so. anyway#can you tell i'm fixated on this right now? moving on! question 2 was quite literally 'what genre is this song'#it's 'fault line' by black rebel motorcycle club (which i highly suggest everyone listen to)#but i was like hmmm very bluesy harmonica but just fingerpicking guitar so that's more folksy#so! i went on a deep dive of what technically considers blues blues and what folk is. and guess what! the ozarks play into this too#because! the thing is that the ozarks is weird. st louis is technically not in the ozarks but on the outskirts. and stl is influenced by...#the mississippi delta! therefore blues music which led to rock and roll etc#(that's a whole other tangent for another day on stl and blues and rock and roll)#but anyway it makes sense that once you have folks from stl area coming down to the ozarks then you also have that combo of...#mississippi delta and appalachia music. so then we go back to “fault line” right?#i have declared it folk mostly because it definitely doesn't follow traditional blues progression or call and response.#so anyway. deep dive tonight was basically what is this song's genre and how does that wrap into where i live!#which also. brmc is like...usually listed as a “rock” band from san francisco which hey! awesome.#but like. from the songs i've heard and especially causing me to do this deep dive...they do not strike me as a californian band#music is cool! regions are cool! culture is cool! i just like to see how it's all spread out ya know?#if you've read this far gold star! i hope you've learned something tonight from reading the ramblings of a fixated person#i'm rambling again aren't i
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society if the duffers had gone through with their original plan to have mike go to the upside down in s1 to find will
#byler#it's enough for me to know that he WOULD but i still would have liked to see it........ but i guess there's still s5..... sniffles n cries#when will's ankle gets caught in a vine n vecna goes YOINK n u just see mike's eyes go crazy wide as he starts sprinting after him faster#than he ever has tripping stumbling falling in a very mike fashion but he keeps going n he doesn't make it in time but it doesn't matter#it doesn't matter bc he's NOT going to lose will again he's NOT going to lose him on HIS watch a-fucking-gain he won't he CAN'T#and maybe it's a party affair so he looks back at lucas n dustin who are almost there and they're screaming after#him BECAUSE MIKE WAIT STOP MIKE WE DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT WEAPONS but mike just furrows his brow and goes in#bc he's the heart he's the paladin he's going to lead them and he's going to save will because will needs him but also he needs will#and. and um. well. then i fucking die of course#OR COULD U IMAGINE IF will goes on a solo mission and he thinks he's managed to sneak away but mike pops up like 'what are you doing? 🤨'#bc he always sees will and he always knows when something is up and it's a crazy plan but they did say crazy together and that they'd be a#team no matter what and that they would kill vecna so liek. do u see what im saying are u seeing my visions are u feeling my insanity rn .#they get surrounded or trapped somewhere and will casts fog cloud n saves the party like he did in a previous campaign. etc etc#dustin is their bard who has snacks n keeps things lighthearted mike leads the way n will is at his side n lucas is their eyes n ears n it'#almost like one of their campaigns bc the show started with that and those were their roles when will was missing and now it'll end#like that and so on n so forth. nods mhm mhm#takes deep breath ok back 2 studying i go byeeee
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:
tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries
He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion. Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave. While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#Poor Zara.#she's gonna feel so fucking guilty about everything that's happened to him in the last 3 years even though it's not her fault.#yes she pissed off Wolf but she had no way of knowing Wolf would go after Rook instead of her.#(I don't even know what she did to piss off Wolf. That's the Big Reveal that's going to happen when Rook sees her again.)#but yeah. Seeing him like this and knowing/thinking that it's because of her actions... it's going to destroy her and that kills me.#I don't know what she did but I *do* know that she never intended for Rook to get hurt. She loves him too much for that.#but Rook could never blame her for anything. He'd forgive her just about anything. And that will probably only make her feel worse.#Rook and his mentors will never ever fail to fuck me up big time.#his undying devotion and naive faith in them which is such a stark contrast to his usual distrust of people.#and it gets him hurt every time even though the don't *mean* to hurt him. But Sigmar's case was definitely much more malicious than Zara's.#this reunion is going to be such a huge turning point for Rook's character and his personal development as a character.#well really it's a combination of things all happening at once that are going to be the turning point.#1) the fact that the party rescued him from Wolf which has literally no other explanation than that they love him and care about him.#2) seeing Zara again and finally getting that closure that he never got three years ago plus being to reestablish the most important#relationship in his entire life. Plus she's just a good influence on him all-around a much-needed source of support after Sigmar's betrayal#3) getting gifted the Tide Breaker (Zara's old ship) and having to learn some responsibility for once in his life will be very good for him#and I guess you could also say that 4) my temporary character Val talking some sense into him has something to do with it lmao.#but we'll see how this all plays out bc while I know these things are going to happen they technically haven't happened yet.#I'm not gonna RP the conversation between Rook and Val bc it would just be me talking to myself for a long time but I am gonna write it up#when we get to that point so I can show it to the DM so he knows what they talked about. Plus it will be a very fun exercise bc Val was#literally designed to be Rook's opposite in just about every way. They're very wise and responsible and Rook is a reckless idiot.#(but I love him anyways.)#So it's gonna be fun to balance writing both of them in the same conversation.#anyways. these tags are SO FUCKING LONG already. If you read this far I'm giving you your favorite dessert and a hug if you want it.#and also pledging you my undying allegiance for life. <3
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So back on my "distract yourself from your problems in the name of education by playing through patho classic but in Russian this time" bullshit and I'm trying to catch where there are interesting translation choices.
For instance, in English, what Aspity says about Katerina is "Rumor has it, she needs daily morphine injections and welcomes cold-skinned visitors in her alcove at night..." whereas in Russian it's "Ходят слухи, что колет себе в бедро морфий и принимает по ночам визитеров с холодной кожей". (Disclaimer: I have not slept in 2 days and I might be stupid, so someone tell me if I'm wrong! however) I think the only significant difference is that instead of saying "she needs daily morphine injections," what she originally said was "she injects morphine into her thigh" [hip? idk I assume meaning like the femoral vein]
Which is only funny because h. hey Aspity. hey Ms. Aspity "I know all the local bitches" Pathologic, do you want to share with the class exactly where you got that specific piece of information? Did you see it or—
#i genuinely do not believe this was the intended interpretation#because the obvious implication is either just “she's being discreet” or “her arms are already fucked”#it's only funny because 1. it's Aspity saying it and 2. they changed it for no particular reason that I can figure out?#unless i am in fact being stupid. which is possible. even probable#tw drugs#pathologic classic hd#katerina saburova#aspity pathologic#anyway guess whose mom is finally back in rehab again? not clara's!#mine though. and it's nice! they let her have a fucking vape? people can send food? you get unlimited coffee??? that's a SPA#something something back in my day we took our 8oz of shitty coffee and 10-minute breaks outside in the cigarette cage and we were grateful#the children yearn for the cigarette cage#rats: they’re just like us!
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a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.
doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33
#oc art#i would explain a bit about Shiva but i think its way funnier if leave these images here without any context#it is up for you to guess what this thing is meant to be and what it's thinking#anyway about my drawing predictment this month#IT IS ART FIGHT MONTH and IM JEALOUS!! IM JEALOUS!!! want to participate SO BAD but i can't so i had to make SOMETHING#even if it was coloring month old doodles because i cant reallt draw properly rigjt now😞#my body knows its art fight month and taunts me by making my hands hurt more than usual😭#and the flood is coming too and its like... you know what?? you can't draw now we say no#the uterus says no the hormones say no#so i cant really draw properly even outside of artfight right now BWUAHHH😭😭😭 please be patient#a bit sad because this is the second year i cant participate over this YET TO BE CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED PERSISTANT PAIN OF 2 YEARS#((glance at medical system i hate the medical system here its so bad might as well have lit money on fire by this point😭))#BUT ANYWAY I AM STILL FULL OF IDEAS THOUGH#SO ONCE THE FLOOD IS OVER I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT TO DO!!!!! i just cant get my brain to work properly right now WWW#so do not worry... you will all be fed... I'll survive the hand pain of july🩷... HOPEFULLY DUNNO HOW TO TURN IT DOWN A BIT#please pray for the daily body pains to be lowered to their usual level so i can use my hands again once the flood is over thank you😊
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Multiclassed wyll into a warlock/ranger. Best decision I've ever made, live your Disney princess with a gun truth man
#he gains heavy armour proficieny and can handle martial weapons greatly increasing the damage he can do while still keeping the magic from#his pact#he finally has a chance of fully becoming rhe blade of frontiers#him and my tav can both be magical living weapons together qwq#wyll ravengard#but seriously the ranger knight tirle was made for him#theres also a mage breaker ranger title if yall knew i CHOKED#my tav is a sorcerer and i thought picking that would make for one too many jokess and coughs jsbdnsbdvdhej#too obvious too easily funny skbsdjbd#then i think my second option was ro make him beast master i think to summon scratch?#i thought of giving him sleight of hand but we hsve astarion for that and#he need to put his back into working and stealung for the team to make up for his anti gnoming and general evil doings#pet peeve i hate calling being anti orc anti goblin etc racism thwy are NOT different races they are different beings entirely!#each being has their own races within them im sick! everyones using the incorrect term!!#and i have to use the blasted inaccurate terms with them to get my points across! hate it!#lmao guess which background my tav has from this spiel sondkdjkdm#back to wyll take your gun your crossbow you4 axe your l9ngsword whatever you want#now youve multiclassed#you truly can have it all#yES he got his ass beat right after (we had just solved racism and hadnt healed then being nice to glut backfired)#ge got knocked out for a bit from an opportunity attack i didnt see whoop#s#glut got big hands#he coulda used them for something else if he wasnt such a bitch#burnt his corpse jic#back to wyll again truly a defender of the people now and not solely relying on mizsnoreahs magic#maybe hell stop missing so much!#still i actually remenbered to play wyll as a warlock in the ending slavery fight and it paid off#him killing off 2 people with a bolt spell was so cool i got draw him finger gun blasting people
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oh man no wonder i'm missing my little guys recently. we haven't seen kaeya in almost a year
#personal stuff#delete later#a month from now marks one year since his hangout....#head in hands.... kaeya come back i miss you#yes i Know he has a hangout i can replay at any time that also has his brother in it. not the same#diluc showed up back in march with his normalguysona and kaeya sent a letter but it's just not the same...#i miss the ragbros insanity that 2.8 and 3.1 inflicted upon me. i miss bouncing off the walls thinking about them and their new lore#can they come back and do something that makes me relive that sometime soon. please. for me#not sure who's going to be in the summer event this year. probably not going to be either of them but can it be Someone i care abt#for the most part they have been? like 1.6 was THE found family slash siblings vacation#2.8 was my girlie fischl and also hidden strife#then 3.8 was kaeya and klee and collei and kokomi#come on let's keep up this energy. this will be THE mondstadt update TRUST#like come onn venti and lisa both told us to come back to mondstadt before setting off for somewhere new......#like at this point i have very little hope for mondstadt character story quest 2. i used to hope for it w every update but now it's like#who fucking knows. we'll wait until snezhnaya i guess. that's when venti and diluc will probably be relevant again#jean miiight get a second one after natlan depending on what happens to varka's expedition? since her mom is there i think#manifesting a second razor quest then too. we know what the rifthounds are now + varka coming back would be a good setup#and klee might get one whenever we meet alice. i have my thoughts but idk when Exactly that'll be#but lisa's thing probably won't be relevant for a while either considering its connection to the abyss order#and kaeya and albedo... yeah.#but like. i'd love to see amber go to liyue and find her grandpa or something :(#and like. fuck it i would love to see a second xiangling quest too.
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Okay. I know I have a lot of cooking mutuals, what do I need to do to make cooking enjoyable??? I am so fucking tired of eating canned soup and kraft mac n cheese and "concoction" (ground beef with whatever else I have that needs eaten and every spice I own). I know people say "if you don't like veggies try different ways of cooking them!" here the thing though, I hate veggie prep. So even changing how I cook them, everything else about veggies is an awful experience for me so I never want to do it. I know people talk about "15 minute meals!" and "one pan recipes!", but so far those have all been lies. People talk about experimenting and trying new things, but I straight up don't know how to do that. People say to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while prepping, but either I focus on the prep and hear none of the story or I focus on the story and struggle with the prep. I am not fast with prep, so meals that require prepping multiple things at once or prepping something while something else is cooking never fails to stress me out to a wild degree. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep everything from burning and keep things stirred and chop up everything and get the next ingredients out and clean as I work all at the same time. I do not enjoy picking out recipes or buying groceries (genuinely hate more than any other chore besides laundry), so meal prep is next to impossible for me. I forget to thaw meat nearly every time I want to cook something and so end up putting it off for days. I can never seem to get my roasted veggies to actually roast, somehow they just steam themselves in the oven. I do not want or like cooking gadgets, so I am doing everything with the very basic supplies. I am cooking for one person so leftovers are a constant issue (I have eaten so much left over food that I find genuinely sickening because I didn't want to waste it). And then I have to do this every day forever till I die. How do I make myself like this??? I am so fucking tired of eating gross food.
#the last time I cooked something myself I genuinely enjoyed was a pork tenderloin and the time before that was a soup#both were delicious and amazing#and both took well over several hours to complete.#I did nothing but cook those nights and didn't get to eat until like 8 or 9#in theory!!!! neither should have taken that long but I am not speedy!!!!#but anyway because they were so time consuming and messy and stressful I have never made them again#and it's been 2 years since the soup and probably almost 1 since the tenderloin#I tried other ways of cooking pork tenderloin and they were meh to actually gross and I was fighting my gag reflex#to force myself to eat the whole thing (homemade mustard for a crust without the correct ingredients is nasty fyi)#I have a handful of cookbooks some of which have recipes I would genuinely like to eat#but it's just so much#I don't know what to do#I ate some chicken strips and lettuce (both dipped in ranch) and cottage cheese last night#and I was actually forcing myself to eat every single bite because it was so gross feeling in my mouth and the taste was not good either#today I made some pilsbury cinnamon rolls and eating them was also just disappointing#I thought about making chicken and rice for dinner#I got a seasoning packet to try that my family said is super super good#but the chicken is frozen... I guess if I got it out now it would thaw#and the rice I have is eugh. it never cooks fully (tbh I'm not a huge rice person anyway)#and I don't have anything to eat with it? some frozen veggies but they don't feel like ones that would go#and I can never get frozen veggies to actually cook properly so I hate the way they feel when I eat them#I could make a muffin mix but I'm so tired of just eating carbs#I want to cry. I hate this
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//went to the dr and all they did was take my fucking blood... again
#ooc#this time they're testing my vitamin d to see if i might be deficient#while i hope that's the case because that can be easily cured i've also HAD a vit d deficiency before and it felt NOTHING like this#granted i guess this could be a more severe deficiency#but idk i feel like they're laser focusing on the fatigue i initially reported and not the constant horrible body pain that's set in#and worsened in the couple months since i made the appointment#like i had the pain with the fatigue as well but it wasn't constant. now it's FUCKING CONSTANT.#it's not always at the worst possible level but it's pretty much always there in some form or another#and tbh this is like. the 3rd time they've taken blood with the first 2 tests yielding no clue as to what could be wrong with me#so i know they need to do it to check and/or rule out everything but like#it's so frustrating. being in constant pain. and constantly being told to 'wait for results' that so far have yielded nothing#nothing that points to what's wrong anyway#so i hope it IS a vit d deficiency and i hope my gut feeling that it's not is way off the mark#because a deficiency can be fixed with some supplements and boom all better#but if it's not.... then i have to face the reality that this is probably some kind of chronic illness#which i've been coming to realize that it might be#but it still fucking sucks#because this time last year i was Literally Fucking Fine#and now i'm just. so fucking sick. and sick of BEING sick.#and every time i go in i feel like i'm rushed right out. like i mention my concerns but i don't have the time to think if there's something#i've forgotten because they're rushing me towards the lab to get my blood drawn. again.#and usually there is#but this is literally the only clinic i can afford rn so#just gotta tough it out and cross my fingers that some vitamins are all i need
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oh my goddd they weren't kidding when they said the sims 4 wedding pack was useless for gameplay 😭😭😭 I've had it for a while but just tried to do a wedding for the first time and oh my god. so bad. so, so bad. anyway heres some screenies from before i had to quit without saving bc it said randall cheated on me AT THE WEDDING LMFAOOO
and a horde of guests all wanting cake except for nelson who's soooo special he wants a banana peel for dessert
#there were guests sitting cross legged IN THE WEDDING AISLE over and over again#someone doing pushups of course#guests on their phones#it also said i hadnt talked to randall in a long time or something#like girl YOU JUST SAIF YOUR VOWS WHATS ARE YOU ON#i got my screenshots. im having them elope 💀#it wouldve been okay without THE CHEATING? i domt even know what happened#probably he was talking to my sim and then another sim joined the flirty convo if i had to guess#moments like this remind me why i usually play sims 2 kejdksnks#im not one of those people who likes to complain about sims 4 a lot (even tho its justified) bc at the end of the day i do enjoy it#but MOMENTS LIKE THIS...#caitiechat
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........creachure
#cats#his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way...#it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy#his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat)#I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol#the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally#I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh#currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from#sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous#and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that#I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky#because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr#ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your#guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature#be upon ye..#Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely.#but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start#On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed#.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes.#sculptures. edit videos. etc. ).#anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world
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