#judas' regret

[lesbianjudasiscariot]

Remorso de Judas - José Ferraz de Almeida Júnior / American Teenager - Ethel Cain

[kafkaesqueer]

"...But no he's not a Judas. How could he be a Judas, for there's not a soul in the world whom he loves."

Leonardo's Judas by Leo Perutz // Jackieshauna

[bottleofbongwater]

fell asleep thinking of the jayvik divorce. woke up thinking of the jayvik divorce. consumed by the jayvik divorce.

[scatterbrainedart]

Guess who just found the clip of Con O'Neill talking about how Taika Waititi said that Ed's and Izzy's relationship are like Jesus' and Judas' in Jesus Christ Superstar? THIS GUYYY

[sydmjolnir]

people walk past me in public not knowing i’m reading a jesus x judas fanfic

[alatariel-galadriel]

OKAY okay one last thing before I shut up: the STAGING AT THE END. Jesus dies. They carry him from the cross, lay him down, and leave. It’s just him and Judas on the stage. The music cuts, and then he…gets up. (Stay with me here)

In the dead silence, he sits opposite Judas, and slowly, painfully, takes off the crown of thorns, setting it on the ground between them. They stare at each other, Jesus covered in blood and Judas in the silver paint that has spread to entirely coat him after his betrayal and death.

And then the stage goes dark. The show is over.

[10itemsorwes]

No one is gonna see this BUT

I wanna talk about my OCs. Just OCs, not fandom specific. My own world, my own characters, ye. And what better place to do it than Tumblr!!

Ok so. This is absolutely going to have inaccurate assumptions about Christianity (bc I haven't been Christian since I was like 12-) and also my own idea of Angels and Demons and God. Especially God.

So this is like. A really fast entire telling of my OCs Judas Rosé, Terrisian (Tarrish) and Fermisiel (Fern). Let's go!

So, let's talk about Judas.

Judas is the only human. He has undiagnosed Autism and his special interest is the bible. He grew up in a really really small town in Kansas called Amadan (not a real place-) which is a Christian-centric town. He doesn't know it, but when God first started humanity, she decided that humans were interesting and wanted to talk to people without their eyes burning out of their faces and their heads exploding, so she made a few humans with the ability to hear/talk to her without death. She planned out every human since the first one and called them high priests (so creative, I know). Unfortunately, a few thousand years later, she decided she wanted to be left alone for a while, so she took her top angels and disappeared into her own little pocket dimension where she could watch from afar and stopped talking to humans. And she forgot to undo the fact that every high priest gets assigned a guardian angel at 20-30. More on that later.

Judas studied to become a priest and applied to Amadan Baptist Church. He, of course, got the job. He had been volunteering there since he was 14 and attending since he was born, basically. Unfortunately, because he was 25 and every other priest or reverend was mid 60s to 80s, they didn't really take him seriously. They gave him the title of priest, but he was basically a glorified altar boy. He didn't mind, though. When he was about 32, he was being treated the same way. One day, while he was doing his usual job, someone he didn't recognize asked to speak with him privately. Judas walked with them to his a back hall and they revealed themself as an Angel. Fermisiel, a guardian angel.

Let's talk about Fermisiel.

(This is a bad photo but it works)

Fern has always been a little awkward. He was supposed to be a guardian angel, but he wasn't a very good one. His first assignment, he only lasted a week. Why? Well, because he killed the one he was supposed to protect. Woopsies. When he got back to heaven afterwards, the Powers (higher ranked angels who took control after God disappeared) lined up a very harsh punishment. To take out his eyes on his vessel. Not super bad, he could still see. But now he has zero depth perception and grace (basically his lifeforce. Yes I stole that from supernatural) just constantly fell down his face like he was crying. He wasn't given another assignment after that until Judas, who wasn't that important anymore but still required a guardian angel. Judas freaked the fuck out and was in heavy denial for a moment. He was fine after the first few days. But on the first day of Fern being just... in his house, he decided he hated that Fern was trying to watch him sleep, so he told him to wait on the couch or go on a walk or something. And Fern decided to go on a walk. It had been a while since he had seen the earth, after all. On his walk, though, he ran into a demon. An Incubus.

Let's talk about Terrisian.

(Ignore that I can't draw hands)

Terrisian is an incubus. He was sent to Amadan to sleep around, fill a quota, the works! When he ran into Fern, he didn't realize he was an angel at first because Fern was in a more human looking form. He tried to flirt and stuff, but Fern was like "um absolutely fucking not" and threatened his life and fully almost killed him.

Until he realized that Tarrish was just. Not scared. At all.

In fact, Tarrish was flirting with him even more. Fern, being confused, just kind of paused and questioned him. Tarrish had a conversation with him about it. They ended up talking until the morning. And Tarrish promised to find and talk to him again.

Fern made a friend.

Let's talk about sexuality.

Judas was heavily in denial that he was Bisexual. He didn't have anything against the LGBTQ, he was just. Not about that for himself.

Tarrish was pansexual. Emphasis on the sexual. He had a body count that included James Madison and George Bush. And he was very proud. Very.

Fern had never had romantic or sexual feelings. That wasn't part of his job, he didn't care.

When Tarrish met Fern, he wanted to have sex with him. He was very up front about it. That's what he wanted. After all, what demon had ever slept with an angel before? So he was willing to play the long game. Get the angel nice and comfy and slowly coax him into having sex. Easy enough! In the meantime, he had other people to fuck, too.

Why not start at the local church?

He found interest in Judas pretty quickly. So Tarrish approached him after church one day and managed to convince Judas to let him suck him off. Easy enough!

Unfortunately, Fern found out.

Fern was, of course, pissed the fuck off. So he berated Tarrish and told him to never do it again. Tarrish saw an opportunity and, in the midst of Fern's anger, talked him out of his clothes and they... did a lot more than talking.

Fern got back to Judas' house late that morning, avoiding eye contact.

And, of course, Tarrish did not stop visiting Judas at work. Or having midnight "discussions" with Fern.

And then, at some point, Fern asked Tarrish why he kept coming back to him. After the first time, he just assumed he would disappear and not care about Fern anymore.

Tarrish realized, in fact, that he felt a lot closer to Fern than others he had slept with. All those late night conversations, the sneaking around, the stupid jokes. Oh, god, they added up. Tarrish realized he kept coming back because he loved Fern. And when he said it, Fern said it back.

Tarrish stopped visiting Judas at work. Instead, he started showing up to his house. Like, out of nowhere. He'd just pop up, chatting or heavily making out with Fern. So Judas asked what the fuck that was about. They told him they loved eachother and bla bla bla. Judas didn't really mind, but he asked if they knew that love was more than just... sex. Because they were having a lot of sex.

Let's talk about romance.

Tarrish didn't, in fact, know that. Fern did, but he couldn't name any more detail than that. Judas decided to help them out. He didn't mind. He helped them introduce love language, healthy discussion, and much more into their relationship. Tarrish didn't get it much, but he liked the fun little activities. Fern thought it was nice to do something more personal than sex now.

Judas watched them grow and love each other more and more.

And he was slowly more and more aware of how single he himself was.

He watched Tarrish snuggle up to Fern and playfully insult him. He watched Fern kiss Tarrish's cheek and tell him to shut his mouth. He watched Fern bring Tarrish bird feathers as gifts. He watched Tarrish bring Fern cool pebbles.

I made that, he would think to himself. And he felt so good about it, that he was able to help their relationship progress. And he felt bad that he wasn't apart of it. He hated that he felt like it, but he did. And he felt awful. Awful, awful, awful.

Tarrish and Fern, meanwhile, had talked a bit a few months into the relationship. They talked about how nice Judas was to help them. They talked about how much they loved his advice and help.

They talked about how they loved him.

They realized that's what they were talking about.

Oh.

Interesting.

The next day, Fern asked Judas why he was so willing to help them with that. Judas said he didn't want to say. It was embarrassing, it was stupid, every excuse in the book. Fern pried it out of him. Judas said he didn't realize it at first, but he liked Fern. He made him feel safe and warm. Then when he saw Terrisian again, when he watched him become capable of connection more emotional than sex, he started liking him, too.

Let's talk about God.

God doesn't have a plan. She has entertainment. She doesn't intervene unless she wants to make it more interesting. At this point, Fern was supposed to get upset. Act like he was alright, but go and accidentally exaggerate to Tarrish that Judas was trying to break them up because he liked both of them. Tarrish was supposed to get upset at this and kill Judas for it. Fern, then, was supposed to do his job and kill Tarrish for killing Judas.

This didn't happen.

That's when God took notice and started paying closer attention.

Fern, instead, went to Tarrish and told him how it was. He said Judas was feeling bad because he liked the both of them. Tarrish thought about it and they decided together to bring Judas into the relationship. To make a polycule together. They loved eachother, all three of them. Why not just welcome Judas in, too? They did love him, after all.

Let's talk about miscommunication.

Tarrish and Fern decided to form a polycule between the three of them. Judas noticed Fern and Tarrish suddenly talking to him a lot more. Fern started leaving feathers on his bedside table. Tarrish started to offer to sleep with him again.

Fern and Tarrish didn't tell Judas they were both dating him now.

Judas was very confused at the sudden affection.

Judas let it go on for about a week, very confused but not questioning it. He assumed it was a very abstract thank you. Whatever, he could tell them to stop later.

It wasn't until Judas woke up between Fern and Tarrish snuggling him that he questioned it. He asked them later that day, very confused. They were just as confused. They asked him why they couldn't show him affection? They showed each other affection. That's how you treat someone you love.

Judas was very confused.

"Let's talk about this." Judas offered, leading them both to his living room. They all sat together, just a moment of silence.

"Why are you both being so... different? You're acting as if you're both suddenly dating me, too."

"Well, we are dating." Tarrish piped up, grinning at him. Fern nodded in agreement.

"What? Since when?" Judas asked, straightening up a bit.

"Last monday. About 11:48 pm." Fern responded calmly, tilting his head. "Why are you confused?"

"Wha- you didn't tell me! Also, who says I would agree to be in a relationship with both of you?!" Judas asks, looking between them. Tarrish's tail flicked impatiently.

"Why wouldn't you? You love both of us, don't you? That's what you told Fern." Tarrish points out. Judas turns red and averts his eyss.

"Well, I didn't know he would tell you." Judas murmurs, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.

"Judas, I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We forgot to. If you really aren't comfortable with it, we completely understand." Fern states, leaning forward slightly. Judas shakes his head.

"I don't know how that would work. What, we change who's in the relationship every week? Besides, I don't know how my church would react to that..."

"What? That makes no sense. Haven't you heard of polyamory? We don't need to switch out. And you don't have to tell people," Tarrish grins, crossing his legs, "if Fern told heaven? He would be cast out forever or be killed. If I told hell? I'd get my ass kicked for having emotional attachments. We can keep a secret if you want us to."

There was a silence after that.

After a bit more discussion, they came to an agreement and an understanding. They started slow again, but they made it official. This was their relationship. They were going to make it work, all three of them.

They were going to make it work.

...

God wasn't very happy about that, though.

(To be continued!! Yayy!!!)

[avatardoggo]

one of the biggest mistakes we can make as Christians is think our sin is too dirty, too shameful and ugly for the Savior’s love. because by marinating in our guilt, we’re telling Jesus the cross wasn’t enough, what He did for us wasn’t enough to save us from ourselves. and that breaks His heat

[sparrownnax]

the worst feeling is when your mutual has a new fixation but you can't stand the art style or whatever so you have to block the tag. i swear im not ignoring you im just making sure i don't kill the both of us </3

[raidermomma]

I have been feral for 21 years, its just you guys told me it was okay to express it.

[fierykitten2]

Really starting to wonder how many times I’m gonna discover that a member of the Thrash Metal Big Four has covered a Judas Priest, Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath song (on the plus side, I now know why Dissident Aggressor was on that Apple Music playlist of metal covers I found a few weeks ago)

So far I’ve got:

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath by Black Sabbath, covered by Anthrax

Sabbra Cadabra by Black Sabbath, covered by Metallica

Some other Black Sabbath song that I swear was covered by Megadeth

Delivering the Goods by Judas Priest, covered by Megadeth

Dissident Aggressor by Judas Priest, covered by Slayer (genuinely I never listened to this song, I just skipped past it, and I thought Slayer would never cover a song because it probably wouldn’t be in their style)

[chimerabytes]

wesker is decidedly Not Normal but neither is judas exactly. wesker greets him literally everywhere except using the front door (he used it Exactly Once.)

judas will be in the middle of getting ready for bed or just waking up and hearing a knock at their window. so they check it out thinking oh, maybe like a stick hit it or something. nope! wesker's standing on their balcony leaning against the wall drinking the strongest coffee known to man

judas is *always* wearing a mask and sunglasses so nobody knows what they look like underneath all their clothes and techwear. and wesker admittedly is Pretty Curious. yknow hes always got his sunglasses on too but his face is pretty well known.

at first wesker was probably trying to play a long con to get judas under his wing and use him for t-virus experimentation, but somewhere along the way he genuinely fell for judas, but its very one-sided. wesker still thinks he can get judas with his charisma but theyre having None Of It.

at least it was one sided at first until judas eventually does finally let his walls down and allows himself to be a little vulnerable with wesker. and then proceeds to ghost him for weeks. runs off to miami for like a month until coming back and finding wesker knocking at his front door. invites him in for coffee. apologizes to wesker for ghosting him and running off instead of, well, doing the right thing?

judas planned on getting wesker to play into his hand so that he could kill the guy, mainly because he had intel proving what a shitheel wesker is, but while he didnt forget about it, he was just... he doesn't really know when it happened. but he is still incredibly suspicious of the guy and Will kill wesker if he tries to do anything remotely stupid.

[ahopefulbromantic]

DO IT!!!

Pray for my boy! Everyone please pray for him, he may still need it!

Idk what is going on right now but I have this strong urge to pray for the salvation of Judas

[subcultureblues]

Don't You Want Me (Baby?) Pt 2

———

Steve and Eddie are either hooking up or dating - and are about as bad at keeping a secret as they are dealing with their feelings. (Dustin POV)

———

Dustin was criss cross on the couch the next day eating a rainbow of cereal and watching Saturday morning cartoons when he saw it.

“What’s that?” He said, taking the morning paper right out from under his mother’s nose.

“Dusty!” She chided, sitting up in her recliner. “I was just getting to my horoscope.”

“Sorry, mom.” He said distantly. He read over the ad again and his grew ear to ear. This was too perfect!

Eddie’s been too busy with his dumb girlfriend to hang out with them in forever.

Well, there might be no better way to reel him back in than a Creature from The Black Lagoon re-run. Ok, it was at the drive through a town over - but Eddie literally can’t say no! He loved classic horror (even after everything they’d seen in living color.)

Dustin kept the outer page and returned the rest.

“Thanks mom! Also, Cancer’s should keep an eye out for big opportunities on the horizon.” He yelled back over his shoulder as he ran over to the phone. He paused as listen to the line ring. “And let their kid go out with his friends tonight!”

“Now where does it say that…” His mom tutted, far too used to Dustin’s Dustining to be surprised by almost anything.

“Come on…” Dustin mumbled impatiently on the fifth or sixth ring.

“Wayne here.”

“Hi Mr. Munson! It’s Dustin Henderson, is Eddie there?”

“Eds, it’s for you.” Kind of surprising his uncle was up at this hour. Usually he was sleeping in to prepare for the next nightshift. Maybe he got the rare weekend off. Good for him.

“You’ve reached The Dark Lord Baelzabub’s office, can I take a message?”

“Eddie! Right! So!” Dustin ignored him, already shooting off at 60 miles an hour. “There’s this thing going on, it’s tonight - and I swear, your gonna be off the wall when you hear about it cause they never have good stuff on out here - “ Eddie cut him off.

“Woah, there. You said tonight? Cause no can do compadre.”

“But!” Dustin sputtered. “You’re not gonna wanna miss this Eddie I’m telling you.”

“Sorry, little man. Can we do uh, I could do tomorrow. Wait actually shit, not tomorrow.”

“No, we can’t - it’s only happening tonight, if you’ll just let me tell you what it - “

“Sorry, man. I’m not gonna make it. I’m uh, I’m -“ he sighed.

“Busy.” That fucking Judas…..

“Yeeeeah. Look Henderson, I’m sorry. I’ll catch the next one ok, man. I promise.“

“Right. Yeah.” Dustin wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t.

They didn’t stay on the line long. He sighed and glared at the phone. Fuck it, fuck Eddie - they were still going. And then next week at Hellfire when Eddie asked about they’re weekend they’ll tell him how awesome it was and how much fun they had without him. Then he’ll regret blowing Dustin off.

He picked up the phone again.

“Harrington residence.” Oh right, Steve’s alleged parents were in town.

“Uh, hi. It’s Dustin Henderson. Can I talk to Steve. Please.” He said, only just managing to remember his manners.

“Steve, honey, your little friends on the phone.” Mrs. Harrington said.

“Hey man, what’s up. Wait, I’m gonna stop you right now. No I can’t give you a ride.”

Dustin sputtered indignantly.

“What you just assume I only call you when I need a favor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You just called to say hi.” Steve corrected himself. Then he paused, clearly waiting.

“Yeah.” Dustin huffed. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Steve repeated pleasantly.

“So uh, how’s uh, how the uh,” Dustin’s eyes darted around the room trying to latch onto something via image/word association. He made eye contact with the portrait of a calico tabby his mother had needle pointed into a throw pillow. “- your cat?”

“How’s your cat?” Steve shot back.

“Hey, woah, low blow!”

“So is this call a welfare check for my nonexistent cat or?”

“No! I, uh - your parents! They’re in town - “

“Dustin.”

“Well… - Look, ok so I thought wouldn’t Steve enjoy if we all went out tonight and - “

“And there it is. Look, I already got plans tonight: So...”

“You too?” Double Judas!

Steve had said all his weekend plans were canceled since his parents were at the house!

“Yeah, well, the plan changed.” Dustin was running out of chauffeurs…

After a minute of huffing, he called Will. At least he seemed properly enthusiastic.

“One thing though. How are we supposed get all the way out there?”

“You’re gonna get Jonathan to drive us.” Dustin said confidently. Will however, hesitated.

“I’m not sure. I think he said he was going on a date with Nancy tonight.”

“Seriously?” Dustin huffed. “Jesus Christ. Well, you’re gonna convince him then.”

“I dunno.”

“Come on, Will. We’re counting on you here. All our licensed friends have betrayed and abandoned us. You gotta come through on this.” Will didn’t say anything. “Just pull the kidnapped by monsters card! Right? Say the creature feature will be therapeutic, or something!”

“Fine. I’ll ask.” Will sighed.

Will could be convincing when he needed to be. Thing is, he didn’t even really have to try. It was those damned puppy dog eyes. That’s what got Dustin, Mike, and Will in the back seat of Jonathan’s Lincoln.

They invited Lucas but he couldn’t make it after coming down with a bad case of relatives-in-town. It turned out for the best considering Nancy was occupying the passenger seat. Looking beleaguered.

Jonathan found a spot with a decent view and put the vehicle in park. He looked over to his girlfriend with a forced optimism.

“See? Not so bad.”

Nancy smiled tightly, looking at the adolescents crammed into the back. Mike made a face at her, and because it was genetically hardwired into them both, she returned it.

“Uh huh. Romantic.” She said, turning around to watch the opening credits. Will had told Dustin they were on the rocks. He might even feel a little bit guilty for intruding on date night but they were short on options here.

“Can we get snacks?” Mike asked Jonathan.

“Uh, sure. We can go over there. Did your uh, parents give you money for snacks?” Jonathan said.

Dustin and Mike shook their heads.

“Oh uh…” Jonathan fumbled with his wallet, shifting around in the coin pouch. Will very quietly looked at his shoes. Mike seemed to notice because had opened his mouth like he was about to say something to him. But then after a pause, turned back to the front.

“Actually, Jonathan got us slushies last time.” Mike said loudly.

“And he gave us money for the arcade the other week.” Dustin said, picking up quickly.

“Yeah, it’s not his turn to pay.” Mike said.

Will’s seemed to relax a little, his shoulders becoming not so tightly hunched.

“Oh. Ok.” Jonathan said, obviously somewhat relieved himself.

“It’s your turn.” Mike said, kicking that back of Nancy’s chair.

“Excuse me?” She said, turning to glare at him.

“It’s your turn to pay for the snacks. Come on, you have a job.”

“I’m not your babysitter.” She rolled her eyes. She decisively turned her back to them again.

“We should have gone with Eddie.” Mike whispered.

“Yeah well he’s, busy.” Dustin whispered back, making air quote finger bunnies. “Besides, that guy barely has money for gas. Steve wouldn’t let us starve though.”

Mike huffed, rolling his eyes at the mere mention of the guy.

Dustin settled back into his seat, looking out the window at a couple passing their car on the way back from the concession stand. He could smell the popcorn in their bucket.

Wait a minute. Is that -

No fucking way. Speak of the devil, I guess…

Dustin peered across the rows and yup, that was Eddie’s van. Hard to mistake that piece of junk for anything else that passed for road legal.

“That fucking bastard!” Dustin whispered.

‘Busy.’ Right. Busy going out to see a movie - without Dustin!

And also the rest of the party.

“Hey where are you going?” Mike said, but Dustin was already out of the car.

Mike and Will scrambled to follow him.

“Wait, where are you guys- “ Jonathan’s reaction time was a bit slow.

“They’re fine.” Nancy said.

“Ok just don’t be gone too long.” Jonathan said, ineffectually.

“Where are we going?” Mike said.

“Look.” Dustin gestured at the van, positively aggrevied.

Dustin stomped over. He could see through the window from there. Nobody was even in the front. He ditched them to come see a movie he couldn’t be bother to actually watch. Now that really grinded his gears. It was with righteous fury he banged his fist against the side of the van.

Dustin cracked a satisfied smile when he heard a yelp and the metal sounds of someone banging around in the back.

“Watch this.” He whispered. Then he dropped his voice a few octaves and with an Oscar worthy Hopper Impersonation said, “This is the police. We know what you’ve been up to.”

Mike had to bury a snicker behind his hands.

“Hey man, I know my rights - “ Eddie cracked the back door, sticking his head out. His eyes grew very wide. “Oh you can not be fucking serious….?”

Dustin couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh man, your face!” All threes boys, even Will, were snickering. At least until they heard -

“Dustin?!” From behind Eddie came an unmistakably shrill voice, positively scandalized.

Eddie grimaced. He turned his head slowly to look back over his shoulder.

“Um. Yep. Dustin. And company.”

“What the - Is that Steve?” Mike said, rather scandalized himself.

Begrudgingly, Eddie let the door swing open, revealing Steve in the back of the van sitting on a mattress and a pile of blankets.

“What? Since when do you two hang out - !“ Mike sputtered, throwing his hands up like this was a most unforeseen betrayal.

Mike fully bought into Eddie’s hype. Which makes sense. Eddie was cool as hell. But much as Dustin’s tried to set him straight, Steve dated Mike’s sister. Those two forever were destined to be adversaries as far as he was concerned.

Steve kind of just thought Mike was a shithead.

Sure if you ask Mike, he considered Steve like ‘terminally uncool’, and that was a direct quote. Way too uncool to be friends with Eddie Munson of all people.

Dustin’s been trying to push this friendship for almost a year at this point, to absolutely no avail.

So. Actually Mike kinda had a point there.

“Yeah, since when do you two hang out -“

“We don’t!” Steve said quickly.

“- without us.” Dustin frowned.

“What are you guys doing all the way out here? Away from Hawkins. Like just, so far away from Hawkins.” Eddie said, smiling uncomfortably wide. His eyes were shifting warily between the party and Steve, like he was watching the world’s most invisible ping pong tournament.

“It’s not that far.” Steve muttered. Eddie almost looked guilty the way he was chewing on his lip.

And Steve looked, well… honestly Steve looked caught red handed. For what? Dustin had no fucking idea.

Dustin narrowed his eyes. Steve was bright red, his hair was a mess (highly suspect), he was wearing his favorite polo but it was all untucked and disheveled. He was blinking up at them, mouth open like he was struggling for words.

“I don’t believe it…” Dustin said. He sniffed the air, a bloodhound on the trail. “You two were…”. The older boy’s eyes grew wide. “Smoking weed!”

Eddie deflated, dropping his head. “You caught us.” He said, monotone. He pressed a hand roughly to the side of his face, leaning his elbow on his thigh and looking up at them with his one visible eye. “We secreted away to smoke some fresh schedule 1. Please don’t tell Mrs. Reagan.”

Steve did a little angry scoff. Eddie lifted his head just enough to peer through his bangs and see the pissy look Steve was giving him. Eddie threw up his palms, with a wide eyed and beleaguered flinch. Clearly telegraphing a defensive, what?

“Since when do you smoke weed.” Mike asked. Because obviously Steve wasn’t cool enough for that either.

“I peer pressured him into it.” Eddie stage whispered, wiggling his fingers in villainous glee.

Steve rolled his eyes. Dustin was like 95% sure that was total bullshit. Because he was almost 100% sure Steve already smoked some. Dustin’s been in Jonathan’s car before, of course he’s gonna know what weed smells like. He’ll catch a whiff of it on Steve every now and again, especially these last few weeks.

These guys still try to hide stuff from them like they’re little kids.

But also, Eddie’s clearly just trying to keep the mood light considering how flustered Steve looks about getting caught with the stuff.

“Remember kids, just say no. Unless your bad influence has as high quality stuff as I do in which case -“

Steve kicked out his foot knocking Eddie in the thigh.

“Say - no thank you.” He finished passive aggressively, as if Steve should’ve had more faith he would stick the landing. “Just. How’d you guys even get out here anyway?”

“Jonathan and Nancy drove us.”

“Nancy’s here?” Steve sat up quickly, straightening to look past all their heads.

Eddie huffed out a laugh. He grinned at Steve with his canines, slowly shaking his head. As if the van didn’t smell bad enough, he took out a pack of smokes.

“What?” Steve huffed. Eddie leaned against the wall of the van, one shoe dangling out brushing the ground.

“I didn’t say anything.” Eddie’s words were garbled between the cigarette he was lighting.

Dustin took a step back, looking at Mike and Will. They too, seemed to pick up on the overall bazaar energy these two were giving off.

Honestly Dustin ‘plan’ had been to march over here, make Eddie feel bad for blowing them off, then maybe asking if they could hang out with him for the rest of the movie. Probably guilt him into buying them snacks.

Dustin wasn’t happy about being ditched, but he’d wanted to come see this movie with Eddie. He could be mad at the guy later.

Now though, he was thinking Nancy and Jonathan’s weird couple energy would be preferable to this, whatever this is.

“Riiiiiiiight.” Dustin jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “We’re gonna - we’re going.”

They made it maybe 5 steps, but Eddie was ever insitant he have the last word.

“Hey shitheads. Don’t mention Harrington here, if you can help it.” He plucked the cigarette from his mouth, using the hand to cup his mouth away from Steve. He stage-whispered, “He doesn’t want Miss Priss to know he’s been experimenting with - the devil’s lettuce.” He added a lot of drama to that last bit, like he was telling a spooky ghost story. Not talking about like, pot.

“Eddie.” Steve said. Eddie ignored him.

“You guys run along now. Pay attention yeah, this one’s a classic.” He gestured vaguely behind him with his cigarette. “It’ll be on the quiz. And I expect your report on my desk Monday morning.”

They said their goodbyes again, and wandered off. When they got back to the Lincoln, Jonathan had his arm around Nancy and she was leaning her head against his chest.

Dustin took a brief second to ponder over what the hell Nancy and Jonathan’s deal even was these days…

“Hey guys.” He said, neck bending to look over his shoulder at an awkward angle so as not to jostle his girlfriend. “That Eddie’s van?”

“Uh-huh.” Will said.

“You should tell him to pull up. Or something.”

“You are not doing that right now.” Nancy muttered. “The kids are here.”

“What? I wasn’t -“ Jonathan protested. It wasn’t very convincing.

“Nah he’s uh,” Dustin wasn’t gonna call Steve out, not if he seemed actually upset that he’d been ‘caught’ doing drugs. “Eddie’s - he’s… on a date.” He said. Will nodded, because he also tended to catch on pretty quick. Even Mike shrugged in placid agreement.

“Huh.” Jonathan said, landing somewhere between surprised, impressed, and all together apathetic. “Good for him, I guess.”

Friends don’t lie, sure. Except sometimes. When friends lie for their friends.

Wait a minute. Dustin squinted at the back of Jonathan’s head. Does Jonathan buy drugs from Eddie often? It was a long shot, but maybe Eddie and Jonathan have secret smoke sessions too.

“Do you know who Eddie’s girlfriend is?” Dustin tried.

“Hmmm? Girlfriend?” Jonathan said distractedly, eyes on the screen. “Uh, no, no I don’t think I’ve met her.”

Dustin huffed, frustrated, sinking back into his seat once again. Feeling thwarted.

By the time the movie was finished and they were lining up with the other cars towards the exit, the shitbox van was nowhere to be seen.

So imagine Dustin’s surprise when he gets a call around 10 am and Eddie’s on the line asking if he wants to come by and hang out.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been telling you I’d help you out on this one shot you’re trying to run for weeks now.”

“I thought you were busy today?” Dustin inquired. Hesitant. As if just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him.

“Nope. No, uh, not anymore. Those plans got,” Eddie cleared his throat, “scrapped. Don’t worry about it. Are you coming over or not?”

“I’ll be there in thirty!” Dustin said. He slammed the phone down and sprinted to his room to get gather his notes.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

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[julietsbody]

the last days of judas iscariot — luke castellan + reader : betrayal hurts the saints the most. 

tags : mdni, dark!luke, angry kissing, religious imagery & symbolism, body worship, angst and smut, love confessions, p in v sex, corruption kinks, implied blood kink, hints of cannibalism

there was something off about luke castellan. 

he used to be caring, sweet and selfless— he did everything for the people around them, offered them smiles even if it was difficult on his lips, did anything to ease their pain, built himself up into a saint. but eventually, saints will fall, whether it be their own doing, or a martyrdom. 

this was no martyrdom, he was not crucified, strung up on an olive tree, nor stoned. 

this was a conscious decision that nobody else, besides his own self, would understand. it was so, so unlike him, luke was never one to betray the people around him, well, at least he didn’t portray himself that way. if you really knew luke, you’d know how much he hated the gods, he felt as though he was a despicable creation of theirs, and he’ll return the same despising looks. 

but the story starts days before that, luke was as he always was. he offered you a smile from across the training field, and you returned it full - heartedly, waving at him. he moves to approach you, ignoring his sparring partner, “hey, do you need a partner?” 

you glance around for a second, “don’t you already have one?” 

his lips curve to a smirk, “i’d rather be with you.” 

luke castellan had a thing for flirting with you, even if he was just being a tease, and didn’t entirely mean what he said— sometimes you thought he didn’t, or he never did, but in all honesty, he meant everything. 

he admired you beyond proper comprehension, and you did the same with him. having been friends for years, it was no shock when your gazes would linger on each other for longer than they should, when he would do anything to make you smile even if it costs him his reputation. 

on the first day, luke was as he always was, confident, grinning and sweet. 

then the second day came, and luke’s smiles began to fade faster, he looked more tired, there was a certain mournful air that clung to his skin and radiated off of him. you picked up on it immediately, frowning at him and pulling him off to the side even when he was busy, “are you okay?” 

“what?” his saliva feels thick in his mouth, like globs of nectar that feel poisonous underneath their sweet skin. 

“i said— luke, what’s going on?“ you can’t deny how he seems to be out of order on everything, he was even fighting angrier, too, with a revengeful glint in his eye. 

“i really, really don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“yes, you do.” 

and it only got weirder from there, on the third day, he looked straight up exhausted, like he hadn’t slept the past two nights, and now he was being told to take a break from sword fighting because of how rough he was being. smiles were common from him now but cut off quick, and laughs became rare. he wasn’t trying to make anyone else around him smile or laugh, and he always just looked angry, guilty angry. 

when you waved at him, he didn’t wave back, nor approach you. 

he didn’t want to speak to anyone, so he just didn’t talk. 

he’s suffering from something, you just don’t know what, and whenever you asked him, he shrugged it off with, “i’m just tired.” 

“i know, you look really tired, luke, do you need melatonin?” 

his teeth grit together, and the taste of nectar in his mouth had disappeared, now it was all just bitter poison, “i need to be left alone.” 

“luke—“ 

“please leave me be.” 

if anyone were to ask you now, they’d know you regret leaving that night, not forcing him to speak about it with you. the next night, another camper told you about what luke had done, and you hate the way you don’t feel entirely shocked, not even a little bit, not even at all. 

luke castellan had a fig tree branching out in front of him, so many possibilities, so many stories to be told, and yet his fingers wrapped around the only rotten fruit on the whole ripe tree. two thousand years ago, there was a man exactly like luke, one who went by the name judas, and in luke’s complete distaste of the bible and anything to do with it— he found himself undeniably following the same path of the man who betrayed jesus. 

“ i desire the things

that will destroy me

in the end ”

  — sylvia plath. 

it was a bad idea to seek out luke that night, you knew it well, and luke knew it too when he frowned at you almost immediately after seeing you. he was still in the woods, only alone now, closer to the shore, closer to the riper fig that called his name— the one labeled captain. 

“why are you here?“ his tone is sharper, harsher, but you don’t shy away. 

“why’d you do it?” you watch him visibly swallow at the question, as if he doesn’t want to answer it, even when it’s on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason it would hurt to say out loud. 

he bites the bullet, “you know— the gods, they’re awful, don’t you think they deserve this?“ 

“is that where your heart lies?” the question seems to scorch his skin more than the last, because it’s just a continuous waking to what he’s truly done, how the prophecy haunts him even in his desperate attempts to evade it. 

“i’ve suffered enough, because of them, because of him— so yes, that is where it lies.” 

“you think your suffering is just a one way street?” you pester, anger bubbling in your veins— this was selfish, entirely selfish, he was never the selfless man you once knew, this wasn’t the luke you knew, “it’s not, it wasn’t— you had the chance, luke, to deprive yourself from it.” 

“are you just here to lecture me?” luke’s jaw locks. 

“why are you being like this?” 

luke’s eyebrow twitches, as if he’s mentally debating saying it out loud, but albeit all odds, his lips part, “why don’t you ask that guy you’ve been hanging out with?” 

“what?” it’s hard to realize certain things when you’ve been so focused on one person, you were so caught up on your fears for luke you didn’t even realize that the whole time you were thinking of him, you were blatantly speaking with another man in front of his eyes. 

to the trained eye, they’d know you never had any real feelings for the man you spoke with, but luke was too blinded by his own guilt and resentment that he didn’t realize it himself. it was a wild string of miscommunications formed into a single spider’s web, exactly like judas’ betrayal of jesus. 

INTERLUDE : JUDAS ISCARIOT ( A STUDY ) 

judas iscariot is often portrayed as the traitor in the story, fueled by greed and his resentment that jesus has something he never will. in the original story, judas is put in the narrative as satan’s pawn, judas’ fate is already written down, and he has no way of pushing it back. satan selects him from a group as he is weak, easily moved, and satan had possessed him body and soul and lived out his personal purpose through the vessel. 

the son of perdition : the one doomed to destruction. 

god personally protected all of his other saints from satan, so why not judas? why was judas never enough? was he never righteous enough to be saved? jesus loved him, jesus held his face in his holy hands, and yet he never shielded him. 

judas is a pawn, a thief, a coward, and a denier of the lord. 

judas, in all fairness, is the spitting image of luke castellan. 

“is it ever anybody else, luke?” 

as if arrow met skin, luke’s brows furrow together like you’ve hit him. 

there’s a pause, a deafening silence. 

“i miss you,” you speak again. 

luke’s nose crinkles, “uh-huh.” 

“i miss you, luke.” 

luke castellan is going to hell tonight, he’s going to be scorched in the underworld, so he bites his tongue and he moves in. the kiss is angry, teeth clashing, tongues twisting, lips bruising, but luke wouldn’t want it any other way. he wonders that if, in this kiss, do you forgive him? having been someone praised by the gods, the favored one, did you forgive the one who seemingly betrayed them to most? 

the kiss says how could you? and i’m sorry at the exact same time. 

his hands are quick to grip on your skin like you were his lifeline, tugging you in closer, and smiling against your lips when you melt into his touch so easily. you knew how cruel of a man he was, all the things he did wrong, all the people he had hurt— and yet you’re easing against him like he’s a saint. 

his teeth show his hunger well, nipping at your lip until you hiss and pull away with blood bubbling from a fresh wound. at first, he wants to smile, but he finds some mercy, moving his hand to hold your chin, thumb smudging the blood, “‘m sorry, didn’t mean to, swear.” 

you knew he was lying, you knew he wanted to see you bleed, he liked the way your skin trembled under his touch, the way that even when shock dilates your pupils— you don’t want to pull away from him. in fact, something about it is oddly attractive to you, how sick is that. 

his other hand grips your waist, fingers curling cruelly, “could i..” 

undress you? touch you? luke isn’t sure of the proper words, they sit on the tip of his tongue, but something has him too afraid to say it so bluntly. that’s ironic, considering he didn’t hesitate to steal and lie. luke was still the loser he’s always been, deep down, he’s never known how to actually speak to women. 

you knew this well, it was something you always made fun of him for, but now you only smile sweetly at him. “of course, luke.” 

luke’s hands are desperate when they move to take off your clothes, quick and ruthless, but still so caring at the same time. it was confusing with luke, everything he did had two different sides that would merge together in an unlikely unison. harsh and gentle, bitter and sweet, mean and kind. 

his brows furrow when he dips in, pressing his lips to the skin of your neck, pushing you back into the scratching bark of the tree behind you. adam and eve, right after the bites of the apple offered to them. luke wants to sink his teeth into you, to bite until he draws blood, to devour you whole and call you his. 

that’s… normal, right? 

he doesn’t care, he’s only focused on the shallow breaths that pass by your lips with every scrape of his teeth on the skin being pulled between his lips. his fingers lead themselves further, dipping below the waistband of your underwear and further until you’re gasping and gripping at his wrist. 

“luke.. luke,” you plead, whimpering out for his fingers to have some mercy on your clit— luke ignores you, focused on the pleasure that’s coursing underneath your skin. he memorizes the thump of your pulse against his lips on your neck, the way it speeds up when his fingers dare to graze your entrance. you want it so bad, and it’s taking everything in luke to not be a cocky asshole about it. 

he eventually pulls away from your neck to admire his work, “have you always wanted me to touch you like this?” 

there’s something so poetic about someone who has betrayed the gods you love the most, ruining you. you truly could be awarded for how much you worshiped them, so unlike to everyone around you. they thought their parents were like anybody else, albeit just a little cooler, but you— you felt like a prophet. 

maybe you were, maybe luke was. 

maybe when the oracle whispered the prophecy she mentioned the fall of a saint, and the way he tugged another down with him. 

you look at him fondly, lips parted and puffy from biting, “always.. please.” 

please ; a simple plea, but it makes luke grin like a devil. his eyes follow your hands when you move to undo his belt, tugging at his jeans as if his fingers aren’t making your knees buckle. luke licks his lips, and finally allows you some mercy when his fingers leave your underwear, although you frown from the loss of friction. “i’ll make it up to you, yeah?” 

luke’s boxers and jeans are falling to the floor in seconds, he stifles a chuckle at your shocked expression to his size, only growing cockier and cockier with each second of this ordeal. it reaches it’s peak when he’s pushing into you, hand on your thigh holding up your leg with ease. 

his nose brushes against your cheek, whispering sweet nothings in between faint grunts with each thrust. you’re so pretty, always dreamed of this, better pray the gods aren’t watching. the last comment should piss you off, but it doesn’t, not at all— in fact, it only makes you wetter, the idea that the people you have given everything for are watching you being fucked by someone who despises them. 

his free hand moves up to your neck, wrapping around the bruised skin there, and gripping it enough to barely constrict your air flow. 

due to the choking, and the force of his thrusts, along with all his taunting words, it doesn’t take long for you to cum on his dick— and he doesn’t last long either. 

he finds himself panting against you, slowly pushing out. 

“you really should pray for forgiveness.” 

[animentality]

it's funny being an ex Catholic because sometimes your non Catholic friends will mention something vaguely related to Catholicism and you'll activate like a fucking sleeper agent and unleash all the Catholic lore like a trauma dump.

I spent the good part of an hour yesterday explaining the garden of Gethsemane, Golgotha, Hakeldama, and Judas Iscariot to my friend the other day, who just sat there in a stunned silence.

Specifically how there are two different accounts of how Judas killed himself, one where he returned the money he received for betraying Jesus to the temple and hung himself. And then they used the money to buy a burial ground for foreigners, thus making it a "field of blood."

And the waaaaay cooler and more fun one.

Where he bought a plot of land for himself, but felt great remorse, and then killed himself by hanging. And then his body snapped the rope and hit the ground and his innards burst and his intestines fell out. And his blood stained the field, thus making it a field of blood, or "Hakeldama."

I always found that story cool as a kid.

Like just the idea of, you cannot bear the weight of your own sins, so now, let the rope bearing your weight snap too, and let your blood and traitorous remains curse the land with your sorrow and regret for as long as you rot in hell.

Super metal.