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taylorkellyreporting · 2 months ago

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i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: twin peaks 2x01-2x09

andy is yelling coopers name on the phone and for a split second, i forgot he was a cop and said “call the police” 😭

“room service!” my brother in christ, he is actively dying

what the fuck is this guys deal

the thumbs up and the wink are sending me so bad

is he just gonna keep coming back and doing the same thing or…?

oh a new giant, that’s fun

this show is so fucking bizarre. i love it.

“you will require medical attention.” no shit

audrey is so fucked

“i like you.” ew. i know he had no idea it’s audrey but still. ew.

did no one hear the gunshot???

finally. i was half convinced cooper was gonna die on that damn floor.

what the hell, how are catherine and josie missing when shelly was the one with catherine?

i’m so glad pete is okay

“give me a couple hours to get dressed” pls

someone needs to give poor lucy a hug

leland is handling his first murder well

no one in the palmer family is stable

hopefully that floorboard knocked some sense into andy

albert’s my favorite asshole <3

though i’d prefer leo dead, i’m glad he gets to pay for what he’s done to all those girls

“where do they keep his water dish?” the smile dropped off andy’s face so fast 😭😭

aw shit, leo isn’t the serial killer.

“good work, andy.” “ yeah. woof.” pls

“laura and james were in love.” no, i don’t think that’s true.

donna is trying way too hard

i’m sorry but i’m rooting for bobby and shelly

that forehead kiss was so cute

i take it back, nadine deserves so much better than ed

is albert fake crying? 😭

great, bobbys dad is back

that was an…interesting exchange

i’m so glad i was right about leo not acting alone. i wonder if ben was the 3rd guy.

poor pete ☹️

i can’t believe josie tried to allude to catherine killing her son knowing damn well she did it

i don’t believe catherine is dead

i don’t think any of what’s been happening is good for leland’s heart

is audrey…praying to cooper? 😭

what the fuck. what the actual fuck.

2x02

senior drool cup skfjgjfks

that was creepy

fuck, what if mr. smith is the gray haired dude???

i feel so bad for ronette

log lady is the best character in this show

andy saying he can’t have kids was not on my bingo card

won’t be surprise if we find out laura was blackmailing ben about one eyed jack’s

i’m with bobby, fuck leo and collect his checks

what the fuuuuuck

omg, is maddy into james?

i wanna know why lelands grandfathers neighbor is torturing the people in twin peaks. specifically the palmer family

yup, audrey’s screwed

2x03

another letter…fuck.

albert’s not gonna take the giant thing seriously and i don’t blame him

“you were visited by a giant?” “any relation to the dwarf?” called it 😭😭

leland isn’t on the board of people who’ve interacted with that guy (alien?) so i’m gonna guess he never actually talked to harry

“so what did this giant sound like, huh? i mean, did he have a big booming voice or what?” “no, no. he spoke softly. distinctly.” “and you gave him the beans you were supposed to use to buy a cow?” giggling

when are albert and harry gonna enter the lovers part of their enemies to lovers arc?

“i love you, agent truman.” i guess i got my answer 😭

“wanna play with fire, little boy?” yeah, he’s def the guy

i don’t trust this dick dude

aw fuck, cooper figured out the insurance fraud

oh shit, nadine

nooo leland

those fuckass owls

“you’re dead, laura but your problems keep hanging around! it’s almost like they didn’t bury you deep enough!” that’s an insane line

donna’s just learned that how you get ‘em is how you lose ‘em. what, did she think she was the exception?

damn it, i was rooting for leland to get away with it!!!

WHY DOES HAROLD HAVE LAURA’S DIARY???

this ep would be perfect if not for all the teenage bullshit. i don’t really care about james and donna. maddy needs to flee that town immediately, she’s too good for it.

2x04

someone please hug leland

this type of shit would only happen to andy 😭

josie should be ashamed of herself. pete doesn’t deserve her manipulation.

poor audrey :(

OH SHIT

was not expecting that man to be an fbi agent

what the hell, why is that dude watching harry and josie 😭

dick certainly is living up to his name

“DICK!” i’ll say.

naming this episode laura’s secret diary and only showing it once was a hilariously poor choice

damn i kinda…don’t care if hank lives or dies

this episode was whatever.

2x05

i hope albert and bobby are in this ep

can someone please hug lucy?

bobby!!!

this guy is an idiot

i knew twin peaks was small, i just didn’t think it was ‘courtroom in the middle of a bar’ small 😭

donna was fucked up for that one

can’t believe all this shit has happened in 12 days

nadine is fucking superhuman now? 😭

ben’s gonna hate it when cooper comes back alive

“i’m a whole damn town!” PLEASE

FUCK, i knew lucy was lying about her trip. i really hope she’s having the abortion cause she wants it and not cause she thinks she’s alone

cooper dodging that knife without even looking was very sexy of him

hawk, my man!!! saving the day was also very sexy of him

this is the ep that should’ve been titled laura’s secret diary

fuck.

hello???

last ten mins saved this ep

2x06

fuck james!! donna should be apologizing to maddy for getting her into that mess.

“daddy?” he sure is

i’m sorry, i really don’t care about james and donna. they’re so boring.

cooper doesn’t know that ben owns one eyed, jacks, right?

well. there goes all of shelly and bobbys dreams

mr. lynch!!!

NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALBERT WON’T BE COMING BACK?!?!?

“i was worried sick.” liar.

i’m gonna miss maddy but i’m glad she’s getting out of that town

josie kinda went off in that scene with ben

“good thing we didn’t light the candles.” 😭😭

i have a feeling there’s more to leo than meets the eye

“cooper, you remind me today of a small, mexican chihuahua.” hawks slow look over is sending me so bad

josie sucks and harry deserves so much better than her

i love leland 😭

THAT ENDING OMG. this ep was so good and i can’t wait for the next one.

2x07

this episode better live up to the hype

why do i have a feeling we’re gonna find out harold is either gone, dead or that he destroyed the diary…

oh my gosh

leland and sarah took the news of maddy leaving a lot better than i thought they would

“it’s like you’re blaming me for something.” i think it’s the other way around

“he’s alive!” he was never dead 😭

the face of a man realizing he’s in deep shit

“did you kill her?” “i loved her.” SHE WAS A TEENAGER YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT

no wonder laura was so fucked up

this norma, ed, and nadine scene is so awkward 😭

omg what if leo recorded what went down that night with ronette and laura?

laura refers to bob as a friend of her fathers and the one armed man said bob uses a host. hear me out, what if ben is that host? and that’s what laura meant by “someday i’m gonna tell the world about ben horne. i’m gonna tell them who ben horne really is.” she could also just be talking about him being a disgusting pedophile.

this is me trying to figure the ben and bob stuff out. if you even care.

i’m so glad audrey told cooper about her father. i just wish he would’ve hugged the poor girl.

ben could also just be a red herring. at least when it comes to bob.

about 30 minutes in and this ep is certainly living up to the hype

what the hell is going on in the palmer residence

i am so uncomfortable

I FUCKING KNEW CATHERINE WAS ALIVE AND I FUCKING KNEW THAT GUY WAS REALLY A WOMAN!!! i just didn’t expect it to be her 😭

no seriously, what the hell is going on at the palmer residence

this episode has me on the very edge of my seat

WHAT THE FUCK MAN. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

SPEECHLESS. I AM SPEECHLESS.

2x08

alright, it’s the next day and i’m still fucked up from the last episode and not at all ready for this one 😵‍💫

what the fuck did he do with maddy

oh my God, he is aware of what he’s done

this is so fucked up

“God, how you must hate us white people after all we’ve done to you.” “some of my best friends are white people.” i’m screaming

i really need leland to be exposed

evil asshole

i’m so conflicted about ben. on one hand, i’m glad he’s being interrogated about laura but i really want them to figure out he’s not the killer. but that means he walks free 😵‍💫

i don’t like norma’s mom at all

at least the deputy isn’t dead?

norma needs to leave hank already

i’m sorry, was pete in love with josie? is that what he’s saying?

please tell me andy isn’t dumb enough to believe lucy already gave birth 😭

i love that ben is on the brink of losing everything

please for the love of God, search the car

gwen is so dumb 😭

“clearly this mans stairs do not reach the attic.” i’m crying

no fucking way hank knows ernie

i hope they found maddy

2x09

MY FAVEEES

hate the circumstances but i’m SO happy albert is back!!! my favorite asshole 🫶🏼

omg that’s why he took the fur from bens office!!!i really didn’t think twice about anything leland did leading up to the reveal and thought he was just being his regular crazy self but no he was literally planning maddy’s murder 😭

i wonder if leland starting planning maddys murder right when she got into town or if something in particular triggered him

i think this is the most serious albert has ever been and that’s saying something

oh brother

ugh, normas mom is a real bitch

WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

my heart is breaking for laura

damn, leland is setting ben up real good

where the fuck is bens wife?

damn, it donna!! it’s not her fault but still. damn.

i don’t really care for donna but i don’t want her to die

i can’t watch but i can’t look away, either

thank God for harry

“doesn’t matter, don’t you see? nothing we do matters, nothing’s gonna change.” i hate that he’s right.

FUCK james, all my homies HATE james.

i have so many questions

OH MY GOD HE’S FIGURING IT OUT

wait, leland doesn’t know what he’s done???

fucking hell.

my honest to God reaction to last half of this episode. how am i ever supposed to move on from this storyline? i almost don’t want to press play on the next episode because i’m failing to see how they can ever top this arc.

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