#john red vs blue

[everyonesonthespectrum]

Today’s Autistic character of the day is:

John Elizabeth Andersmith from Red vs Blue

Requested by @queerchorus

[clearlyaginger]

Demisexual? No, you misheard. I said Dummysexual. I'm attracted to that moron over there. Look at them. They just tripped over nothing and set the house on fire. I'm in love.

[harveywritings92]

Medic! Reader:  Excuse me, I've been washing your blood off my armor so I'm a little late to the conversation. Did you say the prisoner is awake?

Gaz: For now, but I've got a fiver that says Ghost or König rips his spine out within the hour.

Soap: I'll take those odds.

R/n: I see. If you don't mind, do you think I could have a few minutes alone with him?

Hutch: Ha, you gonna give him a band aid for every beating he gets?

R/n: Well if you recall, him and Shepard turned every one of my friends at back at that army outpost into piles of ash. Anyone sick enough to do something like that would almost certainly benefit from a uh...checkup.~

[Hutch and Price  look at each other in confusion. Cut to R/n and the thug inside the temporary base.]

Thug, tauntingly: Ooh, What’s the matter? Did the big bad task force get all tuckered out?

R/n: Do you know where we are?

Thug: Huh?

R/n: This is a remote research facility designed to study the surrounding wildlife. I volunteered at one just like it at grad school. Its got a laboratory, an incinerator and oodles of state of the art surgical equipment. Would you like to see them?

[Cut to the 1-4-1 and KorTac members standing outside the base whilst listening to the tortured screams of the thug, various equipment noises and R/n cheerfully singing opera.]

Soap, nervously: Price... I’m scared.

Price: Soap, we're all scared. …except for those two. 

Hutch: Yeah, they look ready to propose to the lil’psycho!

[Hutch and Price point at König and Ghost who look like love sick puppies. They had no idea their girl was capable of such violence. The noises stop and R/n emerges from the base.]

R/n, wiping her bloody hands with a hanky: (cheerfully) His name's Zachary Miller, he's ex-military, and he was kind enough to hand over the coordinates to a nearby radio jamming tower.

Horangi: You're kidding.

R/n: No silly, I'm Reader! Ha! Bad joke.

Price: Alright, think he’s in a position to answer a few more questions?

R/n: Oh absolutely!~ (lowers voice) Lemme just go put him back together...

[theosphobia]

just realized the sarge & matt scene is a charbiter ref

[i-give-u--art]

Sometimes I’m normal

Other times I’m sitting in my bathtub with the shower on thinking out fictional men kissing

[radiantrookie]

The Reds and Blues in Halo 3

Level: Crow's Nest

Characters:

Easy/Normal Difficulty: Tucker and Doc

Heroic Difficulty: Simmons and Grif

Legendary Difficulty: Church and Caboose

[agentcaboose]

rvb characters that deserved full villain arcs:

[blue-character-brawl]

Bracket 4, Round 2

[harbingersecho]

Bad Day - LT. Smith

[...] As much as I admire what the mercenary does for us, I just can't bring myself to respect him. He kept cracking jokes on the way back to base.

I know that sardonic detachment is kind of his shtick, but it's always made me uneasy. Like he's laughing at a punchline the rest of us just haven't gotten yet.

Bad day, I guess.

[slyvester101]

Sarge: Damn, you’re still alive

Grif: Don’t sound so disappointed. I might think you don’t like me

[joltning]

here u go @dragongirldg

[helix-enterprises117]

Halo Reloaded: The Spartan & The Freelancer...

In the less-than-sparkling confines of the UNSC frigate Inflexible, the ambiance was about as welcoming as a tax audit. The room's lone light flickered like it was deciding whether today was a good day to finally die, casting irregular shadows over the two figures leaning against opposite walls.

John, Master Chief to those who preferred not to get too chummy, had taken up a position that suggested casual indifference but was really just the most strategically advantageous spot in the room. Across from him, Agent Washington or "Wash" for short, seemed to mirror John's casual slouch. The title 'Agent' always felt a bit ostentatious for someone who spent his formative years tripping over his own feet.

"You know, Chief," Wash began, breaking the silence with the ease of a man used to talking to himself, "I always figured if I met a Spartan, we'd be duking it out over the last piece of pizza, not swapping war stories."

John's helmet tilted slightly—a Spartan's version of raising an eyebrow. "Pizza is a serious matter. But yeah, sharing tales from the trenches wasn't high on my list either."

Wash smirked, his tone lightening. "Glad we agree on the pizza. But seriously, being the underdog? I was practically the poster boy. My squad had a betting pool on how I'd mess up next."

John shifted, the faint whirr of his armor filling the small space. "We all start somewhere. The point is climbing up from that rock bottom. Makes standing at the top feel earned, not given."

"That's one hell of a climb though," Wash chuckled, the sound rich with irony. "My first mission was a disaster. I was known by my squad as the guy who took a grappling-gun to the balls." John’s laugh was a low rumble, almost lost beneath his armor.

"...Yeah, I specialize in the 'accidentally heroic'," Wash admitted, shrugging. "Makes life interesting, at least." John’s stance relaxed as he leaned back, the reflective visor hiding his eyes but not the thoughtful tone in his voice. "It's the unexpected victories, the ones you scrap and fight for, that stick with you. They teach more than any training drill."

"Speaking of drills," Wash mused, "ever feel like they just make up those exercises to see if we’ll actually do them?""Wouldn’t be surprised," John conceded with a grunt. "Half the time, it feels like we’re part of some grand experiment. Which, technically, we are."

Wash nodded slowly, his voice dropping a notch. "And trust... that's the hardest part. I've seen teams fall apart over less than a misfired blaster. But when you find that group, the kind you can trust with your life—"

"—It changes everything," John finished, the weight of his words felt rather than seen. "Makes a soldier into a guardian."

"Guardians with a penchant for causing trouble," Wash added with a wry grin. "Or stopping it, usually by causing more in a different direction."

John’s laugh was more pronounced this time, the sound bouncing off the metal walls. "Sounds about right. Makes for a good story, at least."

The alert from the console chirped, more a reminder of reality intruding on their brief respite. The two stood, their movements a symphony of clinks and clatters, armor meeting armor."

Guess it’s time to add another chapter to those stories," Wash said as he picked up his helmet, the lines of his face set in a determined, yet amused expression."Lead the way," John responded, a note of camaraderie in his voice as they moved toward the armory, their steps in sync. "After all, what's life without a little chaos?"

[harveywritings92]

Price: Alright, men. Stand down.

Soap: Stand down? We outnumber 'em three to two. That's like a three wit' a two. That's... 32% advantage... if ye carry the one.

Gaz: I don't want to know how you came up with that, but you're actually right!

[theosphobia]

"wash bunks w caboose sometimes cuz he gets night terrors n he thoughtlessly goes into his room for his sectioned cuddle time but chief is with them now n hes already in the bed w caboose n it was a stupid idea to even come here in the first place so he tries to sneak back out w/o waking them but its Too Late and caboose drags him into bed w them for 'the best sleepover ever'"

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

EB: how do you trolls get anything done if all you do is argue with each other?

CG: WE DON’T! THAT’S PART OF OUR CHARM! QUIT FUCKING IT UP!

[websurfshark]

i need to know i need to know