#john deere zero turn

[greaterwestope]

Zero Turn Lawn Mowers: Maximizing Your Mowing Efficiency

Welcome to the world of zero turn lawn mowers, where efficiency meets precision in every mowing session. If you're looking to elevate your lawn care game and make your backyard the envy of the neighbourhood, then buckle up as we dive into how these small but mighty machines can revolutionise the way you approach lawn maintenance. Say goodbye to cumbersome manoeuvres and hello to effortless turns with zero turn mowers - let's get mowing!

Zero turn mowers

Zero turn mowers are the game-changer you never knew you needed in your lawn care arsenal. With their ability to literally turn on a 10 cent piece, these machines offer unparalleled manoeuvrability that allows you to navigate around obstacles with ease. No more awkward backing up and readjusting - just smooth, efficient mowing in one go.

The magic of zero turn mowers lies in their dual-wheel motors that enable each wheel to spin independently. This innovative design grants you the freedom to pivot quickly and precisely, saving you time and energy during each mow. Whether you have a small backyard or a sprawling lawn, these nimble machines can tackle any terrain with finesse.

Say goodbye to traditional lawn mowers that limit your movements and hello to the flexibility of zero turn technology. Once you experience the sheer joy of effortlessly gliding across your yard with precision and speed, there's no turning back.

Small lawn mower

Looking for a small lawn mower that packs a punch? Small but mighty, these compact mowers are perfect for manoeuvring around tight spaces and getting the job done with precision. Don't let their size fool you - small lawn mowers are equipped with powerful engines that ensure efficiency and effectiveness in cutting your grass.

Whether you have a smaller garden or just prefer a more agile mower, small lawn mowers offer convenience and ease of use. Their lightweight design makes them easy to handle, allowing you to navigate obstacles with ease. Say goodbye to struggling with bulky equipment and hello to effortless mowing.

With advancements in technology, small lawn mowers now come packed with features like adjustable cutting heights, ergonomic handles, and even mulching capabilities. These modern machines combine functionality with comfort, making your mowing experience more enjoyable than ever before.

When it comes to maintaining a well-groomed lawn with precision and efficiency, zero turn lawn mowers are the way to go. These innovative machines offer the convenience of manoeuvrability and speed that can significantly cut down on your mowing time. With their ability to navigate tight spaces and turn easily, zero turn mowers make mowing small lawns a breeze.

At the End,..

For those looking for the best lawn mower for small spaces and improving their mowing efficiency, investing in a zero turn mower is undoubtedly worth considering. Not only will you save time and effort during your lawn care routine, but you'll also achieve professional-looking results every time.

Greater West Outdoor Power Equipment - Say goodbye to tedious hours spent pushing a traditional mower back and forth; say hello to the ease and effectiveness of using a zero turn lawn mower for all your landscaping needs.

[queenlua]

whenever i'm reading a book with a really large cast and same-y sounding names i have to mentally assign a bird to each character. or else i'm going to have ZERO chance of telling them apart. like i straight up turn to the inside cover and write out "Joe Bob — Bald Eagle, Jane Doe — Secretarybird, John Deere — Ruffed Grouse" and reference it like every eight seconds until everyone is solidly birds in my head. i assume this is what "faceclaims" are for, for some people, but unfortunately i spent my formative years staring at birds instead of celebrities so...

[sohannabarberaesque]

Postcards from Snagglepuss (Minnesota State Fair edition)

And you thought Machinery Hill was fascinating ...

Ahhh, yes, Machinery Hill ... highlight of the northern part of the Minnesota State Fairgrounds, traditional home for farm tractor and farm equipment manufacturers' exhibits and displays, even if a good part of it had to be levelled to allow the 4-H Building to be constructed in the late 1930's. Only nowadays, only John Deere has any semblance of a tractor display at its facility, with the possibility of just sitting in the cockpit and posing like you were a farmer doing the fields.

Which our company no doubt took advantage of, and then some.

And it turns out that you also have Ford and Chevrolet with their pickups and SUV's on display and preview ... as well as the makers of lawn and garden tractors, riding lawnmowers (including some of the Zero Turning Radius sort), campers even! And boy, were the exhibitors somehow impressed by our having a motorhome, not to mention the 70's van style epitomised by Emmy Lou and Jenny Lee!

But it's just a couple blocks north of Machinery Hill that we want to focus the attention on: No less than the Old Iron Show, along Lee Avenue betwixt Underwood and Cooper Streets on the north side, visible off the SkyGlider even!

"So what exactly is this 'Old Iron Show' about?" asked Square Bear when yours truly and Huckleberry Hound explained our stopping by there as we got off a complimentary trolley shuttle along Underwood Street ... and to answer, such happens to show off some older farm tractors which have managed to be restored, and I mean painstakingly restored! Not just John Deere and Farmall ... brands now manufactured no more, brands like Oliver, Allis-Chalmers, Minneapolis-Moline, Case, Massey-Ferguson, Ford, Cockshutt, White, Co-Op ... and perhaps most impressive, a Mill City "farm engine" of 1906 vintage, of rather substantial size even, designed mainly for larger farms of the time. And who could have been more stunned than--

"Who else--Lippy the Lion?!"

And you could tell where this leonine Tora-san was impressed that a "farm engine" built in 1906 had much the same size as a larger farm tractor such as, say, those in John Deere's 9 Series, but with horsepower comparable to a small utility tractor ... not to mention such skill and care such as are fond of rebuilding farm machinery from the 1930's to the 1970's could take.

Which led us to a rather interesting ice cream stand in the area of the Old Iron Show. Interesting in that the ice cream--old-school, extra-rich vanilla ice cream even!--is made using a restored 1937-vintage John Deere gasoline engine of the sort which served to provide power on the farm, perhaps powering water pumps or serving as a modest light plant. And some say ice cream may not exactly be what it used to be ...

*************

@aquablock68 @ultrakeencollectionbreadfan @railguner34 @hanna-barbera-blog @themineralyoucrave @groovybribri @thebigdingle @archive-archives @stuffaboutminnesota @thylordshipofbutts @indigo-corvus @multi-fandom-girl-451 @funtasticworld @hanna-barbera-land @passionateclown

[pcwpolwrestling]

10/26-PCW Extreme Political TV

Last Week on PCW Extreme Political TV: -Johnny Suave opens the show and runs down tonight’s show. -‘The Ultimate Political Operative’ Kathryn Randall Collins tells interviewer Mindy Taylor she feels insulted that she has to earn her title shot at Extreme Election Night 2024 against PCW Women’s Champion Catherine Cline. -PCW owner Dawn McGill announces they will be taping a house show at Madison Square Garden on October 27th.  This brings out James Carville who compares PCW running a show at MSG to Hitler’s Nazi Rally at MSG in 1939. ‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down and chokeslams Carville. -‘Colorado Gunslinger’ Laura Brobert cuts a promo before the three-way match tonight against KRC and Sarah Mae Smith for a shot at the Women’s Title.  Brobert says she’s going to show everyone why she’s called the ‘gunslinger’ and the ‘coastal elites’ and ‘small-town sweetheart’ don’t have a chance. -Candidate for PCW CEO Kamala Harris holds a town hall with Main Street USA that doesn’t go very well. -Sarah Mae Smith tells interviewer Woodward Bernstein that Main Street USA is made of grit, determination, and good old-fashioned American values. -Democrats pitch their brand to a voter. -Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) defeated Sarah Mae Smith (American Heartland Coalition) and Laura Brobert (American Patriots) in a Women’s division #1 contender’s match. KRC will now face PCW Women’s champion Catherine Cline for the title at Extreme Election Night 2024. -Dave Ramsey interviews Kamala Harris… it doesn’t go well. He’s supporting Donald Trump. -Republicans pitch their brand to a voter. -‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) defeated Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) in a #1 contender’s match. Daniels will challenge PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell for the title at Extreme Election Night 2024. -Backstage, Kamala Harris watches Donald Trump’s appearance at the Al Smith Dinner.  Jim Gaffigan gets a couple of sharp lines off on Harris. Harris gets on the phone with her aide and reams her out.

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Taped at Twining Hall Feasterville-Trevose, Pennsylvania Saturday October 26th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low-Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

PCW Champion: Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) Since 2/10/2024 Contenders: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) Mike the Mechanic (Main Street USA)

PCW Women’s Champion: Catherine Cline (Independent) Since 9/21/2024 Contenders: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) Laura Brobert (American Patriots) ‘American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (Main Street USA)

PCW World Television Champion: Starz N. Stripes and ‘The One-Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (American Patriots) Since 3/3/2024 Contenders: The Deplorables: Ray McAvay/’Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition) The Green World Order: GreenPete/’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) The Sports Entertainment Corporation: Gator Bates/The Alabama Kid (SEC) Bi-Partisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D/RINO Main Street USA: Ken Worth-American Trucker/Farmer John Deer

Opening The arena explodes and the camera zeros in on ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave as the show begins.

PCW! PCW! PCW!…

Johnny Suave: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to PCW’s Extreme Political TV! Joining me tonight is the ever-delightful Colleen Crowder- a low-level New York Times reporter trying desperately to make a name for herself.

Colleen rolls her eyes, her lips pursed in a tight frown, her hands adjusting her glasses.

Colleen Crowder: Let’s just get this circus over with.

Johnny Suave: And boy, do we have a show for you tonight! Extreme Election Night is just two weeks away and…

The crowd roars as Dawn McGill struts into the ring, her blonde hair catching the spotlight. The video screen flickers with the more modest selections from her Henhouse Magazine shoot, adding sizzle to her entrance.  She’s dressed in a form-fitting blazer and skirt that accentuate her statuesque figure, commanding attention with every step.

Johnny Suave: …hold on.  PCW Owner Dawn McGill has just come out and she is headed toward the ring.

Colleen rolls her eyes again- not pleased at the sight of the PCW Owner.

Colleen Crowder: Yay.

Dawn takes the microphone, her blue eyes scanning the audience.

Dawn McGill: First and foremost, I want to thank each and every one of you for coming out tonight. I keep saying this, but you have to understand that I truly mean it. PCW isn’t about the big shots. PCW is all about YOU – the people. We do this for you.

The crowd cheers, and Dawn’s lips curl into a satisfied smile.

Back at the announcer’s table, Colleen scoffs, her voice dripping with disdain.

Colleen Crowder: She’s just sucking up to the rabble.

Johnny turns to her, his brow furrowed.

Dawn McGill: I’ve come out here tonight to introduce the matches for PCW Extreme Election Night 2024…

PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: Catherine Cline (IND) © vs. ‘The Ultimate Political Operative’ Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE: ‘The One-Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and Starz N. Stripes w/Zachary Levi (American Patriots) © vs. The Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete w/Peta from PETA) (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TITLE: Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) © vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance)

PCW CEO: Kamala Harris w/Tim Walz (Progressive Alliance) vs. Donald Trump w/J.D. Vance (American Patriots)

Dawn McGill: Tonight, Catherine Cline is HERE-

The crowd explodes at the mention of Cline.

Dawn McGill: …and she will be in the main event. Stay tuned and have fun!

PCW! PCW! PCW!…

The camera pans across the packed arena, settling on Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the announcer’s table.

Johnny Suave: What a way to kick off the night!  Dawn McGill knows how to make an entrance and set the tone for PCW.

Colleen Crowder adjusts her glasses, a frown creasing her brow.

Colleen Crowder: I found it distasteful and pandering. Is this wrestling or a swimsuit competition?

Johnny Suave: Why can’t it be both? But speaking of spectacles, we need to cut to the concourse. You won’t believe what’s happening at the concession stand!

Colleen Crowder: What?

Do You Want Fries with That? The feed switches to the bustling hallway of Twining Hall. A massive crowd has gathered, cheering and waving. At the center of the commotion stands American Patriot candidate for PCW CEO- Donald Trump, wearing a PCW-branded apron and flipping burgers with exaggerated flair.

Donald Trump: Order up!

Trump tosses a wrapped sandwich into the crowd.

Donald Trump: Nobody flips burgers like me, folks. Believe me!

The crowd goes wild, hands outstretched to catch the flying food. Suddenly, a shrill voice cuts through the din.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: This is an outrage!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pushes through the throng, her face flushed with anger… her voice high-pitched and shrill.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: You’re mocking hardworking Americans! Food service is not a joke!

Trump grins, unfazed.

Donald Trump: Lighten up, AOC. The people love it. We’re having fun here!  We’re ALL having fun here, right?

The crowd roars in agreement, drowning out AOC’s protests. Back at the announcer’s table, Suave and Crowder exchange glances.

Johnny Suave: Well, that’s one way to serve up controversy. Trump’s certainly drawing a crowd.

Crowder shakes her head.

Colleen Crowder: It’s a circus, plain and simple. This isn’t politics or wrestling – it’s a mockery of both.

MATCH #1: The Bi-Partisan Dream Team vs. The Green World Order The arena erupts as Kimber Marshall struts into the ring, her sequined red, white, and blue bodysuit catching the spotlight. She grabs the mic, her infectious energy palpable.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our first match.  Introducing a team that’s trying to bridge the political divide. They’re here to show us that red and blue can make beautiful music together. Give it up for… The Bi-Partisan Dream Team!

The opening riffs of “Let’s Work Together” by Canned Heat blast through the speakers. RINO, the Wonk Machine, emerges first, his massive 275-pound frame barely contained in a fire-engine red singlet. Blue Dog D follows, sporting a royal blue outfit that accentuates his lean 195-pound physique.

Kimber Marshall: From Detroit, Michigan, standing at 6 feet and weighing in at 275 pounds… RINO, the Wonk Machine! And his partner, from Chattanooga, Tennessee, 6 feet tall and 195 pounds… Blue Dog D!

The odd couple climbs into the ring, awkwardly attempting to high-five each other.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…

She pauses for dramatic effect.

Kimber Marshall: They’re lean, they’re green, and they’re ready to make the political scene… The Green World Order!

A cacophony of nature sounds mixed with heavy metal guitar riffs fills the arena. GreenPete leads the charge, his 5’11” frame rippling with eco-warrior energy. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee towers behind him at 6’3″, his spiked green hair adding another foot to his height. PeaceNick and Peta from PETA flank them, all wearing matching green ‘GWO’ shirts.

As they enter the ring, Brock Cole Lee snatches the mic from Kimber. His eyes wild with fervor.

Brock Cole Lee: WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!

The crowd is split, some cheering for the eco-warriors, others rallying behind the unlikely bipartisan alliance.

The bell rings and the crowd roars as RINO and Blue Dog D circle GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee. Johnny Suave’s voice cuts through the chaos.

Johnny Suave: Here we go.  The Green World Order is challenging ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and Starz N. Stripes for the PCW Tag Team Title at Extreme Election Night.

RINO: Let’s have a clean match, fellas. We’re all Americans here.

GreenPete slaps the hand away.

GreenPete: Clean? Like your fossil fuel lobbyist friends?

The crowd oohs as RINO’s face reddens. Blue Dog D puts a hand on his partner’s shoulder.

Blue Dog D: Easy there, big guy. Remember our message.

RINO nods, taking a deep breath.

RINO: Right. Unity. Compromise. The American way.

Brock Cole Lee scoffs, his green hair quivering with indignation.

Brock Cole Lee: Compromise? On the future of our planet? Not a chance, meat-breath!

The match begins in earnest, with RINO and Blue Dog D attempting coordinated moves that fall just short of clicking. GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee, meanwhile, move like a well-oiled machine – if that machine ran on sustainable energy, of course.

Johnny Suave: The Bi-Partisan Dream Team is preaching unity but their in-ring chemistry is about as cohesive as a congressional budget meeting!

RINO thinks, ‘We’ve got to get it together. Show these green bean extremists what real cooperation looks like.’

But as he reaches for a tag, Blue Dog D hesitates, unsure which hand to extend. GreenPete capitalizes, yanking RINO into a wrenching arm bar.

Brock Cole Lee: Tag me!

GreenPete obliges with a fluid motion. They whip RINO across the ring, and GreenPete delivers a devastating knee…

Johnny Suave: THE CLIMATE KICK!

…which is followed by a picture-perfect Senton from Brock Cole Lee.

RINO struggles to his feet, dazed.

GreenPete sets up for his finisher.

GreenPete: Time to harpoon another capitalist whale!

He drives RINO into the mat with a vicious spear.

Brock Cole Lee: Finish it!

GreenPete rolls up the stunned RINO for the three-count.

The bell rings.

Johnny Suave: The Green World Order wins!

Colleen Crowder: Score one for the good guys!

Johnny Suave: We’ll be back with more after these messages.

Commercial Break As the screen flickers to life, a sea of grey cubicles stretches as far as the eye can see, each one housing a corporate drone more lifeless than the last. The camera pans across rows of identical desks, each occupied by a blank-faced worker staring mindlessly at a computer screen.

A silky voice oozes from the speakers, dripping with false sincerity.

Silky Voice: Here at MegaCorp, we’re not just a company, we’re a family. A family that’s available 24/7 to meet your every need.

The camera zooms in on a disheveled employee, bags under his eyes, as he answers a phone at 3 AM. “Thank you for choosing MegaCorp, how may I optimize your synergy today?”

Silky Voice: At THE Corporation, we work harder, faster, and longer than the competition. Soulless automatons chained to our desks… working for you.

The camera pans across a sea of exhausted faces, fingers flying over keyboards at inhuman speeds. A man suddenly face-plants onto his desk. But incredibly, horrifyingly, the man’s hands keeps on typing.

Silky Droning Voice: Our employees are dedicated to YOUR success.

A woman in a crisp blazer gives birth under her desk, her eyes never leaves her computer screen.

Silky Voice: At MegaCorp, we don’t just think outside the box. We demolish the box, set it on fire, and dance on its ashes while singing our quarterly reports.

The scene cuts to a group of employees forced to participate in a cringe-worthy team-building exercise, fake smiles plastered on their faces as they fall backward into each other’s arms.

A manager appears on screen.

Manager: That’s right.  At THE Corporation, we’ll do ANYTHING for our clients.  We are available twenty-four-seven.

The shot zooms in on a bathroom stall, feet visible beneath the door.

The narrator’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.

Silky Whispering Voice: That’s right. At MegaCorp, even if we’re doing our business… we’re still doing yours.

As the commercial reaches its crescendo, the voice becomes almost manic.

Silky Manic Voice: Because at MegaCorp, we’re not just changing the game. We’re rewriting the rules, flipping the board, and declaring ourselves the winners of a game no one else knew we were playing!

The screen fades to black, and a shrill, cringy slogan appears: “MegaCorp: Turning Your Dreams into Our Profits!”

Backstage Progressive Alliance candidate for PCW CEO Kamala Harris is on her phone… again. The phone clutched so tightly her knuckles have again gone white.

Kamala Harris: What the *BLEEP*!

Harris screams into the phone, spittle flying.

Kamala Harris: Donald Trump is serving people at the concession stands. Look at all the *BLEEP*-ing attention he’s getting out of that. What didn’t you think of that?

The phone shakes in her hand as she fights the urge to just hurl it across the room.

Kamala Harris: ARGGHHH!

She jabs the ‘End Call’ button and walks off.

And now, a PSA about gun safety Narrator’s voice: Fall is here and that means hunting season is upon us.  It’s a great time to review gun safety.

The sharp crack of gunfire echoes across the range as Lucas Kunce, candidate for US Senator from Missouri, squares up to another steel target. Beside him, Adam Kinzinger fumbles with his rifle, the eye protection perched uselessly atop his head like a fashionable headband.

Lucas Kunce: This is what freedom feels like, folks!” Kunce bellows, his voice carrying over the gunshots. “Nothing like bonding with our union brothers over some good old-fashioned target practice!

Kunce’s mind races, calculating the political points he’s scoring. These union guys’ll eat this up. Second Amendment rights and worker solidarity – it’s a winning combo!

A metallic ping rings out as another bullet finds its mark. Suddenly, a yelp of pain pierces the air. A reporter, notepad in hand, stumbles backward, clutching their arm.

Lucas Kunce: Oops.

His politician’s smile doesn’t waver.

Lucas Kunce: Always keep that first aid kit handy, folks! Shrapnel’s just part of the game when you’re exercising your freedoms!

As Kunce tends to the reporter with practiced concern, a stern-faced woman in a “Gun Safety Expert” vest storms onto the range.

Gun Safety Expert: What in the name of responsible firearm ownership is going on here?

She points to the steel targets mere yards away.

Gun Safety Expert: You’re shooting rifles at close-range steel? Are you trying to get someone killed?

Kinzinger blinks owlishly through his high-powered scope, still aimed at a target five feet away.

Adam Kinzinger: But… but it makes the targets look bigger!

The expert’s gaze falls on the table downrange, her face paling.

Gun Safety Expert: Is that… Tannerite? Near active shooters? Have you all lost your minds?

Kunce’s smile falters for a moment. This isn’t quite the photo op he’d envisioned. But hey, any publicity is good publicity, right? He plasters on his best “concerned leader” face and addresses the gathered union workers.

Lucas Kunce: See, friends? This is why we need more education on responsible gun ownership. Now, who wants to try their hand at the Tannerite challenge?

The Gun Safety Expert slaps her forehand with her hand as the PSA comes to an end and PCW cuts back to Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the broadcast table.

Johnny Suave: Can you believe the irony, folks? A candidate from the ‘guns are scary’ party, proving they can’t handle firearms safely! It’s like watching a clown juggle chainsaws… blindfolded!

Suddenly, Martha Raddatz from ABC News appears, wagging her finger at Suave.

Martha Raddatz: Now, now, Mr. Suave. Let’s not exaggerate. Only one reporter was hit by shrapnel. The others were not.

Suave’s eyes bulge comically.

Johnny Suave: Only one? Oh, well that makes it all better then! Should we give them a safety award?

From the sidelines, Colleen Crowder nods in agreement with Raddatz.

Colleen Crowder: She’s right, Johnny. We need to report this accurately.

Johnny Suave: It’s not about the number of reporters hit, it’s about the monumental stupidity on display!

How Dare You? The camera pans across the arena, catching the glint of sweat on muscled bodies and the flash of sequined costumes. Suddenly, Hillary Clinton storms onto the stage, her face a mask of righteous indignation.

Johnny Suave: And speaking of divisive…

Colleen Crowder: Johnny!  How dare you say that towards a great American… a trail blazer… a woman who should have been the first PCW CEO!

Hillary Clinton: Dawn McGill.  I demand you come out right now.

Johnny Suave: Uh oh.

Colleen Crowder: It’s about time.

Dawn McGill steps out from the back.

Hillary Clinton: How dare you! You’re holding a political freak show at Madison Square Garden this Sunday, and I won’t stand for it!

Dawn scrunches her face and wonders what the hell.

Hillary Clinton: PCW is nothing more than a Nazi-style propaganda machine!

Johnny Suave: Oh, not this again.  Didn’t James Carville do this last week and get choke-slammed by the Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Colleen Crowder: And that was totally uncalled for.

Johnny Suave: Let’s go back to last week.

(REPLAY: Last Week’s PCW Extreme Political TV) …James Carville: You think you’re so clever, don’t you? Holding your little wrestling show at MSG? We all know what this really is – a recreation of the infamous 1939 Nazi rally at MSG!-

The opening riffs of a heavy metal song blasted through the speakers. The fans went wild as the ‘Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, all 6’11” and 350 pounds of him, stormed down the ramp.

Carville’s eyes widened in terror as he tried to scurry away, but his aging legs betrayed him. WTF effortlessly hoisted the political pundit into the air and delivered a thunderous chokeslam, silencing his offensive comments with one powerful move.

Colleen Crowder: There was no reason to show that again.

Dawn raises the microphone to respond.  But before she can speak, a small figure darts past her.

Johnny Suave: What the-

Colleen Crowder: Oh, not her again.

It’s nine-year-old Gracie McAvay’s young voice that cuts through the tension.

Gracie McAvay: How dare YOU!

Hillary stumbles back, clearly taken aback. Gracie’s eyes narrow. Suddenly, game show music blares through the speakers.

Announcer Guy (voiceover): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to… Who’s the Fascist?! With your host, Gracie McAvay!

Colleen Crowder: What the hell is this?

Gracie grins, relishing the moment.

Gracie McAvay: Question one, which party used the judicial system to remove candidates from state ballots… just because they could ‘steal’ votes from their candidate?

Hillary’s mouth opens and closes, but no words come out. She looks like a fish out of water, Gracie thinks gleefully.

Gracie McAvay: Time’s up! The answer is… The Democrats!

Hillary’s face reddens. She clenches her fists, barely containing her rage.

Gracie McAvay: Question two, which party also abused and corrupted the judicial system in an attempt to use lawfare to prevent Donald Trump from running for PCW CEO?

Hillary fumes, her nostrils flaring. She looks like she’s about to explode, Gracie notes with satisfaction.

Gracie McAvay: The Democrats!

Hillary’s face is now a deep shade of crimson. Gracie can almost see the steam coming out of her ears.

Gracie McAvay: Final question, which party actively put pressure on Facebook and social media to censor political views and comments, shut down the free exchange of ideas and opinions and shut down the First Amendment?

Hillary’s entire body trembles with barely contained fury. She looks like she’s about to have an aneurysm, Gracie thinks.

Gracie McAvay: The Democrats!

Gracie throws her arms up in victory. Hillary turns on her heel and stalks off, her rigid posture betraying her anger.

Gracie, caught up in the moment, then does an exaggerated ‘up-yours’ gesture with her arms.

Dawn McGill: GRACIE!

Gracie freezes, suddenly remembering where she is. She turns to face her mother, shoulders slumping, looking genuinely contrite.

Gracie McAvay: Sorry.

In the announcer’s booth, Colleen Crowder sputters incoherently, her professional facade crumbling.

Johnny Suave: Well, well, well.

There’s a smirk evident in Johnny Suave’s voice.

Johnny Suave: Looks like our esteemed colleague is at a loss for words.

Colleen Crowder: This… this is unconscionable! She can’t do that to Hillary Clinton!

Johnny Suave: Oh, lighten up, Colleen. The people want entertainment, and we’re giving it to them. Speaking of which, Catherine Cline is in the house tonight!

Colleen’s groan of frustration is audible even over the crowd’s renewed cheers.

Catherine Clark Arrives The crowd erupts as Catherine Cline bursts through the doors of Twining Hall, her championship belt gleaming under the fluorescent lights. Fans surge forward, hands outstretched, desperate for a high-five or autograph. Catherine’s heart races with adrenaline as she navigates the sea of admirers.

Cline! Cline! Cline!

From the corner of her eye, Catherine spots Kathryn Randall Collins watching with a predatory gaze. The Ultimate Political Operative stalks forward, her presence parting the crowd like Moses and the Red Sea.

Kathryn Randall Collins: Well, well, if it isn’t our illustrious champion.

Catherine squares her shoulders, ready for the verbal sparring match.

Catherine Cline: Kathryn. Come to get a preview of what you’ll be facing at Extreme Election Night?

Kathryn’s lips curl into a smirk.

Kathryn Randall Collins: Oh, sweetie. You think being champion is about physical prowess? About determination? About never giving up?

She circles Catherine like a shark.

Kathryn Randall Collins: How quaint.

The crowd’s murmurs grow restless. Catherine feels her pulse quicken but keeps her face impassive.

Kathryn Randall Collins: Let me educate you, they call me the Ultimate Political Operative for a reason. At Extreme Election Night, you’ll learn what really determines a champion.

With a dramatic flourish, Kathryn spins on her heel and struts away. The crowd rallies behind Catherine, their cheers a comforting blanket of support. She allows herself a small smile.

Johnny Suave: Well now. The tension between the Progressive Alliance’s KRC and the Iowa wonderkid who’s taken PCW by storm Catherine Cline continues to build.

Colleen Crowder: This all could have been avoided had Catherine done the right thing. Give KRC the respect she deserves and wait her turn.  Instead, she embarrassed KRC and she’s going to learn a harsh lesson at Extreme Election Night 2024.

Johnny Suave: All right.  We will be back right after this.

PSA-Leave People’s Political Signs Alone As the screen fades from the first match of the show, a pristine suburban landscape materializes. The camera pans across manicured lawns and cookie-cutter houses, each adorned with limp American flags that seem to sag under the weight of suburban conformity.

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for an important public service announcement. Do you know the importance of exercising your right to vote, but did you know that defacing or stealing campaign signs is a crime?

The camera zooms in on a shadowy figure creeping across a perfectly trimmed lawn. Dressed in all black, complete with a ski mask and gloves, the vandal approaches a yard sporting a “Trump 2020” sign.

As the masked figure reaches for the Trump sign, a series of hidden trapdoor springs activate, launching the would-be vandal into the air.

The perpetrator flails wildly, arms and legs akimbo, as they soar through the air. As the vandal crashes back to earth, the camera pans out to reveal the pristine lawn now marred by a human-shaped indentation.

Masked Figure: Ow.

The sign, however, stands tall and unscathed.

The deep-voiced narrator cuts through the laughter, his tone serious yet tinged with amusement.

Narrator: That’s right, these signs don’t just support a candidate, they’re also the property of private citizens.

The PSA continues, showcasing a montage of increasingly outlandish deterrents. A would-be Harris/Walz sign thief triggers a motion-activated water cannon, sending them sprawling backwards in a comical arc.

Next, the camera zooms in on a spring-loaded mousetrap. As a gloved hand reaches for a Trump/Vance sign, it snaps shut, unleashing a glitter bomb that explodes in a dazzling cloud of sparkles.

Finally, a masked woman tries to spray over a Harris/Walz sign, the lights come on… the fence containing several dogs open up and charge forward.

It’s not a pretty sight.

The crowd in Twining Hall roars with laughter, their reaction a mix of shock and delight at each inventive setup.

Narrator: So, the moral of this story is… if you see a political sign you don’t like… just leave it alone and walk on by.

The last shot is of the masked woman running for her life with five dogs chasing after her.

Johnny Suave: That’s a very good message for what’s been a very divisive campaign.

Colleen Crowder: We are the media are providing the truth. It’s the Trump folks who are being divisive.

Johnny Suave: Speaking of being divisive, how about the Washington Post and the LA Times deciding NOT to endorse Kamala Harris?

This catches Colleen off guard.

Colleen Crowder: What?

Johnny Suave: Yep.  The Washington Post is trying to stake an ‘independent’ stance going forward and foregoing endorsing a PCW CEO candidate.

Colleen Crowder: That… that’s… unacceptable.  We set the tone.  We decide the narrative.  We tell people what to think.

Johnny Suave: It’s time for our main event.  Let’s go back to Kimber Marshall in the ring.

MAIN EVENT-NON-TITLE: PCW Women’s Champion Catherine Cline vs. Soccer Mom The ring spotlights flare to life, illuminating Kimber Marshall in all her glory. She’s a vision in a sparkling silver blazer and matching pencil skirt, her brunette waves cascading over her shoulders. The mic gleams in her hand as she lifts it to her red-painted lips, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our main event of the evening!

She takes a dramatic pause, savoring the moment.

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first, standing at 5’6″ and weighing in at 120 pounds, she’s here to fight for your minivans and PTA meetings… Soccer Mom!

On cue, a woman emerges from behind the curtain, clad in mom jeans, a polo shirt, and pristine white sneakers. Her hair is pulled back in a practical ponytail, and she’s clutching a travel mug of coffee like it’s her lifeline.

Soccer Mom: IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!

Soccer Mom’s voice cracks with fervor as she power-walks down the ramp, occasionally pausing to chastise an imaginary child.

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent, hailing from Iowa City, Iowa, standing at 5’9″ and weighing 125 pounds of pure Midwest muscle, she is your reigning, defending PCW Women’s Champion… Catherine Cline!

The arena erupts as Catherine bursts onto the scene, her long athletic frame coiled with energy. Kimber watches in admiration as the young champion bounds down the ramp, her confidence palpable.

The crowd’s roar swells as Catherine Cline raises her championship belt high, a broad smile lighting up her face. She’s soaking in the adoration, her eyes sparkling with the thrill of competition.

Colleen Crowder: Would you look at that shameless pandering?

Crowder’s acerbic voice cuts through the commentary booth.

Colleen Crowder: I bet she kisses babies and poses for selfies too.

Johnny Suave ignores his co-commentator’s snark, focusing on the action.

Johnny Suave: Cline’s connecting with her base, Colleen. That’s Politics 101.

Catherine lowers her belt and begins slapping hands with fans at ringside, her energy infectious. She’s in her element, a natural face of the company.

Colleen can’t resist another dig.

Colleen Crowder: Oh please, she’s one step away from tossing out campaign buttons. When’s the last time she actually wrestled?

In the ring, Soccer Mom is pacing, muttering about PTA meetings and bake sales. The bell rings, and Catherine squares up, ready for action.

Johnny Suave: This is Cline’s tune-up match before Extreme Election Night 2024.

The match begins with a collar and elbow tie-up. Soccer Mom surprisingly overpowers Catherine, whipping her towards the corner. “IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!” she shrieks, charging forward.

Catherine nimbly sidesteps her at the last second. WHAM! Soccer Mom slams into the turnbuckle face-first, stumbling backward in a daze.

Johnny Suave: Cline gets out of the way and Soccer Mom hits the turnbuckle hard.

Catherine seizes the moment, rolling Soccer Mom up for a quick pin. The referee’s hand slaps the mat. One! Two! Three!

Johnny Suave: And that’s it!

The arena erupts as Catherine springs to her feet, arms raised in victory. Suave is on his feet.

Johnny Suave: What a statement by our champion! Cline proves once again why she’s the future of this company!

Colleen rolls her eyes.

Colleen Crowder: Yeah, yeah, she beat a suburban mom with a travel mug. Call me when she faces a real challenger… like Kathryn Randall Collins at Extreme Election Night 2024.

Suave, still riding the high of the match, wraps up the show. “That’s all for tonight, folks! Next week, we will be in Madison Square Garden for our final show before Extreme Election Night 2024, see you then!”

[ggmgroup]

How to choose the Best Ride On Lawn Mower in 2021?

Investing in a new ride on mower can be a daunting task at the best of times, especially nowadays where there is so much choice available at the click of a button.

The way we cut grass here in the UK has not actually changed all that much in the last 20 years, unlike the Automotive industry where battery technology is at the forefront of most people’s minds when thinking into the future.

In relation to ride on mowers things have started to change somewhat in the last 2 to 3 years and there is a clear shift towards battery power from certain manufacturers such as ‘Ariens’ with their new Zenith zero-turn ride-on mower and ‘Mean Green’ who sell mainly all battery powered products. There is no doubt that over the coming years other large manufacturers such as Kubota and John Deere will follow suit and that many more products will come into the market in order to meet consumer demands.

How to decide which ride on mower is right for your requirements?

This is a common question and one that needs careful consideration.

Ride-on mowers tend to be broken down into two category types, domestic and commercial. Therefore, it is important to do your homework and identify which category type you fall into.  

You will then then need to decide if you are looking to cut and drop the grass on the ground or collect the grass and dispose of it. This will help further narrow down your search to either a ‘cut and drop’ or ‘cut and collect’ machine.

Other things to consider are what type of mower you require; you have the choice of machine with either a deck underneath the power unit, this is commonly known as a ‘mid-mounted mower’ or alternatively a machine with a deck positioned at the front of the power unit, usually referred to as an ‘out-front mower’.

Both types of machine have their advantages so depending on the type of ground and terrain you are working on you will need to weigh up which one works best for you. A mid-mounted mower is usually more compact in size and therefore better for getting into tight spaces, whereas an out-front mower is better for getting into corners and up to obstacles. If you have particularly undulating or soft ground, you may also want to consider investing in a machine with 4WD (4 Wheel-drive) and a lower centre of gravity, the 4WD drive will offer extra traction and lower centre of gravity will provide stability and increased safety to the operator.

You then need to think about what budget you have available and if this will be restrictive in finding the right machine for your job. If this is the case, you may be better served looking for a good quality used commercial machine as opposed to a new domestic machine, it is recommend buying a used machine from a dealership as you should receive a minimum 3-month warranty.

COMMON QUESTIONS

What is the difference between and domestic and commercial ride on mower?

A domestic ride on mower is built to a price point and is designed for infrequent cutting, usually around once a week throughout the season.

This type of machine is usually aimed at homeowners with a lawn up to around 2 acres in size or a small landscape gardener with several small garden plots to maintain.  Usually, domestic machines come fitted with petrol engine and have a limited life expectancy of around 1000 hours usage subject to maintenance.

A commercial ride on mower is predominantly built and designed to withstand years of hard work, these high output machines are aimed at professional users such as local authorities, contractors or country estates, to name a few. They are usually built with a strong, heavy-duty deck and chassis and a commercially built diesel or petrol engine.

These machines such as a Kubota ride-on lawn mower are designed to be able to tackle large quantities of grass and be worked daily throughout the cutting season, their life can run up to around 3000 hours usage and beyond in some cases. 

What is a cut and collect mower?

This type of machine is designed to remove the grass from the lawn which means that the grass clippings will need to be disposed of in a compost heap or taken to a green waste recycling centre.

Nearly all cut and collect ride-on mowers UK have a collection bag attached at the rear of the machine, in most cases the grass is thrown directly into the collector through a chamber built into the machine below the operator’s seat. Some manufacturers also offer side discharge collection system or mechanical collection with the use of a rear brush system, the Countax range of mowers would be a good example of this. These machines are popular with homeowners as they have different attachments available for carrying out various tasks from rolling to scarifying, removing thatch from a lawn and sweeping up leaves.

Most domestic cut and collect mowers will have a manually operated handle or lever to open the collector and discharge the grass. However, with most commercial machines this is usually done with the simple operation of a hydraulic lever or electric switch and the same usually applies to the deck lift and lower as well.

You also have the option of a high dump collection system with some manufacturers such as the Kubota ride on lawn mower G231 which means you can lift the collector up into the air (via the hydraulic/electric control lever) and empty into a tipping trailer or to the back of a compost heap etc.  

What is a Cut and Drop Mower?

This type of mower is designed to leave the grass clippings on the ground, otherwise known as recycling.

With a standard cut and drop mower the grass is cut and discharged out of the deck, most commonly at the rear which is referred to as ‘rear discharge’ or it can also be discharged out of the side, known as ‘side discharge’. The latter is usually only recommended for longer grass situations where infrequent cutting occurs, and the user is not concerned with the aesthetical finish.

What is a mulching mower?

A mulching mower usually comes fitted with a fully enclosed deck and is fitted with high lift blades which are designed to keep the grass in the ‘blade cutting zone’ for longer. This process produces finer grass clippings, and these are then dropped vertically into the uncut grass left beneath.

Mulching has two main advantages:

1)      The grass clippings are cut into much smaller pieces which means they will break down and decompose much more quickly which in turn puts nutrients back into the soil.

2)      Any cut grass will tend to disappear into the uncut grass and therefore will leave a much nicer aesthetic finish.

N.B. For effective mulching it is important not to cut the grass to short, as a rule you should only cut off the top third and mulch it back into the two thirds below. For the optimum results, a more regular cutting cycle of once per week is recommended and to cut in dry conditions where possible.

Are there any other types of mowers I should consider?

Over the past few years, the ‘Zero Turn’ type of ride on mower has become more popular, this type of machine is designed to offer maximum efficiency and is on average 20% more productive than other more conventional ride on mowers.

The operation of these machines is through a lever style system instead of a conventional steering wheel type machine which makes turning at the end of each run much quicker. This is an excellent type of ride on mower to consider if you have a lot of grass to cut or have a lot of intricate tight spaces in and around trees and bushes etc.

Zero Turn mowers aren’t recommended for steep slopes or soft ground as they only come in a 2WD option. However, if you are looking for a battery powered option, arrange a trial of the Ariens Zenith professional zero turn mower, new to the UK market in 2021.

 > ARRANGE A ZENITH E DEMO  

Which is the most reliable manufacturer?

In many people’s opinion the most reliable mower you can buy is a Kubota ride on mower, the Kubota Corporation (Japan) are world renowned for their engines which are used by many other manufacturers in thousands of commercial products.

Kubota products are usually excellent value and a sound investment which seem to hold their residual value better than most. John Deere is also a well reputed brand with good quality products. Other credible brands worth considering are Kioti, Countax, Izeki, Husqvarna, Stiga, Honda and Mountfield.

How do I go about purchasing a Ride on Mower?

Once you have done your online research, it’s advisable to seek professional advice from your local dealership. Try and provide the salesperson at the dealership with as much information as possible and try to give them an idea of your budget, what jobs you are looking to do with the machine and the type of terrain you are working on.

Always ask the dealer representative to come and do a site visit, this will give you the best chance of gaining the correct advice and getting the best value. Be sure to ask for a demonstration before you commit to buying a machine.

Once you have decided on a make and model, discuss servicing and basic daily maintenance. It is also worth asking about warranty, some manufacturers such as Kubota now offer an optional commercial warranty up to 5 years for very little cost.

What are the most important things to consider when purchasing from a dealership?

When looking to purchase a ride on mower it’s best to treat this in the same way you would when buying any highly priced item. Always approach a minimum of two, ideally three companies and check out their products online or better still try and visit their showroom.

Main things to consider are; how fast they respond to your enquiry; how helpful the staff are and how passionately they talk about their products and their company.

[rentalextampa]

The ZTrak M Series seamlessly blends high-performance value with enduring day-to-day durability. Opt for EFI fuel alternatives, Mulch On Demand decks, seat-dump MCS capability, and diagnostic features with the Z920M model. The Ztrak M Series Mower allows you to halve your lawn-cutting time. Secure the John Deere Z920M Zero Turn Mower through Rentalex by dialing (813)971-9990! See our John Deere Z920M Zero Turn Mower: https://www.rentalex.com/rental_equipment/tampa-lawn-garden-landscape/54in-john-deere-turn-mower/

[kenresearchreport]

Exploring the Investment Landscape in the UK Agricultural Equipment Market

Buy Now

Anticipated to achieve a CAGR of approximately 3.5% (2022-2027), the UK's agricultural equipment market expanded between 2014 and 2018, yet faced a significant downturn in 2019-2020 due to COVID-19.

STORY OUTLINE

The investment landscape in the UK agricultural equipment market is diverse, offering a spectrum of opportunities from established manufacturers to startups driving disruptive change.

Investors can benefit from the technological prowess of leading manufacturers like John Deere, CNH Industrial, and AGCO Corporation as they drive the adoption of precision agriculture tools.

Sustainability-minded investors can align their portfolios with companies like Fendt and New Holland, who are leading the way in eco-friendly equipment. Moreover, suppliers like JCB, closely aligned with government initiatives, offer a compelling investment avenue.

Investors seeking novel solutions can explore startups and niche players like Hands Free Hectare, which demonstrate the potential for innovative disruption in the sector.

The UK agricultural equipment market is undergoing a transformative shift, driven by technological advancements, sustainability imperatives, and changing consumer demands. This article delves into the investment landscape within this dynamic sector, focusing on key players and the opportunities they offer to investors seeking to capitalize on the future of agriculture.

Prominent agricultural equipment manufacturers are at the forefront of innovation, investing significantly in cutting-edge technologies. Companies such as John Deere, CNH Industrial (parent company of Case IH and New Holland), and AGCO Corporation (including brands like Massey Ferguson and Fendt) are embracing precision agriculture solutions.

These players are developing GPS-guided tractors, sensor-driven machinery, and data analytics platforms. Investors who recognize the innovation potential of these manufacturers can tap into their market dominance and benefit from the growing demand for high-tech farming solutions.

2. Sustainable Leaders: Investing in Eco-Friendly Equipment

With the UK's commitment to achieving net-zero carbon emissions, investors are increasingly turning their attention to companies specializing in sustainable agricultural equipment. AGCO's Fendt.

For instance, offers electric tractors, while CNH Industrial's New Holland focuses on sustainable machinery design. Investing in these forward-thinking manufacturers aligns with both environmental goals and future market trends, as sustainable solutions gain momentum.

3. Government-Backed Initiatives and Suppliers

Government incentives play a pivotal role in shaping the investment landscape. Companies that provide equipment in line with government policies and support sustainable practices stand to benefit from these initiatives. A prime example is JCB, a UK-based construction and agricultural equipment manufacturer.

JCB's commitment to innovation and sustainability positions it well for government contracts and grants, making it an attractive investment option.

4. Startups and Niche Players

Get the Sample Report on UK Agri Equipment Market Players

The changing landscape of collaborative ownership models has given rise to startups and niche players offering specialized solutions for the agricultural equipment market.

Startups like Hands Free Hectare, known for developing autonomous farming solutions, showcase the potential for disruptive innovation.

Investors who identify emerging players catering to specific niches can tap into innovative solutions that address unique challenges in the farming sector.

In conclusion, the UK agricultural equipment investment landscape is evolving rapidly, presenting opportunities that cater to a range of investment strategies. As the sector advances with technology and sustainability at its core, investors who strategically align their portfolios with key players and emerging trends can navigate this landscape to capitalize on a promising future for agricultural equipment innovation and growth.

[parnasaha]

Zero Turn Mowers Market Market 2022 Rising Trend, Demand, Global Opportunity And Global Outlook

Zero Turn Mowers Market Market Description – Zero Turn Mowers Market size was valued at USD 1075.83 billion in 2021 and is poised to grow from USD 1131 billion in 2022 to USD 1850 billion by 2030, growing at a CAGR of 7.2% in the forecast period (2023-2030).

Get Sample Copy of This Research Report Here: https://www.skyquestt.com/sample-request/zero-turn-mower-market Zero Turn Mowers Market Market includes Market Analysis Report Top Companies:

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John Deere

Husqvarna

Cub Cadet

Toro

Ariens

Snapper

Ferris Industries

Exmark

Gravely

Dixie Chopper

Bad Boy Mowers

Spartan Mowers

Scag Power Equipment

Country Clipper

Grasshopper

Mean Green Mowers

Bradley Mowers

Bobcat

Wright Manufacturing

Swisher Inc.

Regional Analysis for Zero Turn Mowers Market Market:

The key manufacturers in the market are mentioned in this section of the report. It helps the reader in grasping the tactics and alliances that participants are adopting to resist market competition. The extensive research offers an important microscopic view of the market. Analyzing the regional revenue of manufacturers during the predicted period will enable the reader to locate their geographic footprints.

Read This Zero Turn Mowers Market Market Full Report Here: https://www.skyquestt.com/report/zero-turn-mower-market

The base on geography, the world market of Zero Turn Mowers Market Market has been segmented as follows:

 North America includes the United States, Canada, and Mexico

 Europe includes Germany, France, the UK, Italy, Spain

 South America includes Colombia, Argentina, Nigeria, and Chile

 The Asia Pacific includes Japan, China, Korea, India, Saudi Arabia, and Southeast Asia

Important Features that are under Offering and Zero Turn Mowers Market Market Highlights of the Reports:

 A brief description of the Zero Turn Mowers Market Market

 Modifications to industry market dynamics

 A complete segmentation of the market by type, application, etc.

 Market size in terms of volume and value in the past, present, and future

 Current market trends and expansion

 The competitive environment in Zero Turn Mowers Market Market

 Prominent companies and product policies

 A potential niche market or territory that is growing quickly.

#Customization Service of the Report:

Zero Turn Mowers Market Market offers customized reports based on your requirements. To meet your specific needs, this report can be customized. Contact our sales team, who will ensure that you receive a report that meets your specifications.

About Us:

SkyQuest Technology is leading growth consulting firm providing market intelligence, commercialization and technology services. It has 450+ happy clients globally.

Address:

1 Apache Way, Westford, Massachusetts 01886

Phone:

USA (+1) 617-230-0741

Email: sales@skyquestt.com

[treeremovalpensacola]

Recommender: How do you decide on the right size deck for your zero-turn mower?

If you're in the Pensacola area, then you have probably already experienced the need for having to remove a tree or stump or getting your tree's trimmed. The cost of tree removal varies depending on a few factors, such as: - The type of tree that needs to be removed - The size of the tree - The location of the tree - The condition of the tree Pensacola Tree Removal offers competitive pricing for our tree removal services. For a full list of services Tree removal services visit Pensacola Tree Removal Service for a fast, friendly and reliable quote that you can count on. This will help not only beautify your property but also is the safest way to do it. Several factors to keep in mind when choosing a deck for your mower include property size, the towing capacity of your truck or trailer and the route you’re taking. (Photo: LM Staff) Justin White Justin White CEO, K & D Landscaping For the majority of properties, our crews like the 72-inch floating deck mower from Scag. You get a lot of square footage mowed and you also can get into a lot of areas. The price point also makes a big difference. The 61- and 72-inch are similar in price, but when you go up to the 96-inch, the price really jumps. You also have to consider your mode of transportation. If you’re driving a little Toyota Tacoma or if you have a Ford F-250, take that into consideration. The 72-inch seems to be able to fit in most trailers and can be towed by most trucks. It’s a nice size we’ve stuck with. Manny (Martinez, maintenance operation manager) adds that the Scag has suspension on the frame and wheels, (which is) ideal for operator comfort and decreases fatigue. Phil Schoggen Phil Schoggen Vice President and Co-owner, SchoggenScapes We use Exmark gasoline mowers for non-industrial (properties). Our industrial and municipality crews run Kubota diesel (mowers). We have one 36-inch mower — we use it on two properties and that’s it. We go from a 36-inch mower up to an 11-foot-wide WAM (wide area mower) from John Deere. We ask, ‘What is that route going to be? What kind of properties are we servicing? Is it residential and some small commercial properties where you just need a 48-inch? Or is it an industrial property where you need 60- and 72-inch decks to cover more ground quicker?’ Our biggest concerns are A) what kind of property is the route servicing and B) what is the most efficient machine for it? If the 48-inch is able to do everything we need, and there’s another property where we could use something bigger, we’re just taking the 48-inch and it’s going to take a little longer on that one property. Scott Lamon Scott Lamon Owner, Tynic Landscaping Each of our crews has a 52-inch and a 61-inch Scag, and sometimes, depending on the route, we also have a 36-inch walk-behind. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. The 61-inch Scag Cheetah II is my favorite because it does the best stripes and it is productive. It has a big Kubota engine. But you also need the 36-inch walk-behind because you always have a property with some goofy gate you can’t get the bigger machine through. Our guys feel like we have the best mowers in the business. They love these machines for comfort, quality and speed.

[arun-pratap-singh]

John Deere Quiets Lawn Maintenance With Electric Ride-on Mower

Sometimes, the convenience of a ride-on mower you don’t have to push is outweighed by the inconvenience of maintaining what is essentially another vehicle. But John Deere is promising no more oil changes, no more gas cans, and no more spark plugs with its first all-electric zero turn mower. Although John Deere is synonymous with everything from farming to lawn maintenance, in recent years the…

[rentalextampa]

2013 Used John Deere Z930M Zero Turn 60" Mower For Sale - Financing Available! Serial Number: 1TC920MVLDT011245 | Equipment: 50194610 | Hours: 1529. Call Rentalex at (813)971-9990 for more information. The Z930M features a long list of available options including Mulch On Demand decks, Propane functionality, dump-from-seat Material Collection System capability, 3-way adjustable suspension seats and easy-to-use diagnostics. See the 2013 Z930M Mower here: https://www.rentalex.com/rental_equipment/usedequipment/2013-john-deere-z930m-turn-mower/

[leolaroot]

shes a bigg butch woman she works incredibly hard she rumbles and growls between your knees and you steer her but shes in charge and she shakes you around and she is so loud and she gets hott from working and shes a bit older so shes milfy!! and she told me its okay if you guys all have sex with her and i want you to. and like once a week in the summer i get to ride her and shes our oldest mower so everypony offers me the john deere or the zero turn but i say nooope... id rather trundle along on my wife than zip through a lawn on the john deere and thats my pledge to her.

[rwprincess]

Midnight Sun'd Prologue (Brian Johnson x Fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 10.5K (She like...20 pages long. Sorry).

Synopsis: My movie/Canon Prologue, but from Brian’s POV. That’s right, I’m Midnight Sun-ing this b*tch.

CW: Underage marijuana smoking, suicidal ideation, self-deprecating thoughts/self-doubt, low self-esteem, swearing, child abuse, parents being terrible, sexuality (since this is based on the movie, nothing is really outside the scope of the movie in terms of content).

Saturday, March 24th, 1984

Shermer High School, Shermer Illinois

Brian knew why he was here. In fact, he thanked his lucky stars that Saturday school, or detention, rather, had been his punishment. If this hadn’t been an extremely out-of-character first offense for him, he surely would have been suspended, or even expelled. His family had made their disappointment clear, especially when his mother told him to find a way to study and make amends today, even if he was asked to just sit in a room with strangers and reflect on what he did. When he arrived in the library, he was surprised to see Claire Standish already sitting there. She, of course, did not look up or make eye contact with him, but he chose to sit at the table behind her nonetheless. Before he could gather the courage to ask her what a popular, polished girl like herself could possibly be doing here, another two figures approached the doorway. Andrew Clark’s large, stocky frame loomed there for a moment before excitedly spying Claire. Again, no attempt was made to include Brian; he was practically invisible at this school, which was a big part of his underlying problems and self esteem here at Shermer High. It wasn’t so much that Brian wanted or needed popular people like Claire or Andrew to notice him. He didn’t really look up to them or desire their attention. It was just that, sometimes, it felt like everyone looked through him, as though he wasn’t even there. Adults acknowledged him, sure. He was polite and an overachiever, the perfect student. But his peers didn’t take much stock in him. He had a few loyal, true friends, but rarely did anyone outside of his particular interest groups reach out to him.

As Brian settled into a seat behind Claire, he took note of the second figure who had entered, the one who came in shortly after Andrew. It was her. Brian had to restrain himself from gawking when she entered the library, as she was one of the absolute last people he could ever picture earning a detention. Brian knew her from his English class last year; he had been stunned by her beauty the moment she entered the room that first day of high school and felt the same nervous, heart-pounding sensation he felt now, seeing her enter the library. He lamentably had zero classes with her this year, but he would see her in the hallways sometimes and that old familiar feeling would come rushing back to him, reminding him of the crush he had on her all last year. Back then, he had sat behind her, across the room and would catch himself staring at her or admiring her answers and volunteered opinions. His strong suit was in the more concrete subjects: science, math, that sort of thing. So the insightful analyses she would give always impressed him, and through them he got the sense that she was smart but also kind. This was precisely why he was shocked to see her here now, having earned the same consequence he had for bringing a weapon into school. But he couldn’t imagine her doing anything like that, anything to warrant this. He not-so-discreetly watched her as she hurried across the room and took a seat in the front row opposite to him. She, like Claire and Andrew, had not made eye contact or acknowledged him. Her seeing right through him hurt more, though.

Brian had sat down, but had not quite unpacked as he was still reeling from the revelation of Y/N being in the same detention as him, and that meant he would be in the same room as her for nine hours. He hadn’t even noticed John Bender stalk into the library, surveying the landscape that he was clearly king of. That is, until Bender stopped in front of him and snapped his fingers to get his attention and indicated for him to move out of his seat. Even if Brian weren’t the type to try to accommodate someone, a people pleaser, he would have followed John Bender’s instructions. Everyone in school knew of his reputation, and while some things were probably a lie (like throwing flaming toilet paper over Mrs. Applebaum’s house), some were definitely true, including his penchant for getting into fights. Brian had never had to fight someone before and he was pretty sure he lacked the capability to do so. Simply put: he would get his ass kicked. So he got up immediately and moved to the next seat over...right behind Y/N. He noticed that she stiffened, sat up straighter, as he slid into the seat behind her. So she had noticed his existence. But from her body language, he assumed that she didn’t particularly enjoy his presence. ‘Great. Perfect way to start this whole shitty day,’ he thought. At one point, Brian would have fancied himself an optimist, but lately that attitude was all but gone...not that his current situation helped much.

He also noticed the girl with black clothes, heavy makeup, and messy hair quickly walk along the outside of the tables and sit behind him, facing away from not only himself, but the entire group. He raised his eyebrows in disbelief, ‘Should be an interesting time,’ he thought while taking stock of her, Bender, the populars, and...Y/N. It still puzzled him that she could be here. Bender made total sense. Everyone knew that he practically lived here in detention. Based on how she looked and seemed to make herself comfortable, Brian guessed that the girl behind him also was a regular here. While he didn’t exactly expect Claire or Andy to be here, he wasn’t hugely shocked by it. Claire probably skipped school or was rude to a teacher or something and Andrew was an asshole anyway. He fit into the jock stereotype pretty well, all brawn and no brains, picking on those that he saw as weaker than him. Maybe that’s why he was here.

Vice Principal Vernon walked haughtily in, looking down on each and every one of them; a lord surveying his fiefdom. Brian’s posture stiffened as he both tried to show respect and unconsciously showed his fear of the man. The last conversation with him had also involved his parents and that was abhorrent, a total disaster. The recollection of the event made him nauseous. Right after he spoke, Claire raised her hand, “Excuse me sir, I think there’s been a mistake. I know it’s detention, but, um...I don’t think I belong in here.” Internally, Brian rolled his eyes. He didn’t really know Claire (he suspected that no one really truly did), but he had always been under the impression that she was full of herself. All of the popular clique seemed to be that way, just full of arrogance. And here she was announcing how she was better than all of them in front of them. Vernon completely ignored her statement and told them it was 7:06, on the dot. Brian quickly looked down at his watch and aligned it to Vernon’s time. He was very particular about organization and precision.

As Vernon started his speech about rules, Brian tried to shift slightly over, get comfortable. But Vernon looked right into him and Brian could swear he saw into the depths of his soul as he said, “You will not move from these seats,” and pointed right at him. He froze like a deer in the headlights and quickly moved back. Brian had almost always blindly followed authority and now was definitely not the time to change that. Vernon continued and Brian only half-listened, looking around to gauge how the rest of the group was reacting, until he heard him say, “Good. So, maybe you’ll decide whether or not you care to return-” He saw this as the perfect time to redeem himself and started to stand up, raising his hand.

“Um, you know, I can answer that right now, sir. And that would be a no for me-”

“Sit down, Johnson.”

“Thank you, sir.” Brian sat back down, gulping. His embarrassment was only made worse noticing that Y/N had turned around to look at him when he started speaking. He wasn’t so invisible now, just his luck.

*~~~~*

There was little to no surprise that Bender antagonized the group. His main targets seemed to be Claire and Andrew, but he was making snide or crude remarks to everyone, and this made Brian very uneasy. He hated conflict and confrontation, which was probably why he had brought a flare gun to school rather than talk to his Shop teacher about replacing his failing grade or talk to his parents about how much he was truly struggling. He tried to take his mom’s advice about just doing work. He tried to convince the others to just write their assigned essays and not end up in a fight, but it didn’t work. He reasoned that he could at least do the right thing, but he couldn’t help but keep getting drawn into their conversations. It was almost like watching a trashy soap opera...or a staged wrestling match. “Go to hell!” Claire screamed at Bender, and Brian looked nervously to the door. Vernon surely heard that and would come storming back in, right?

But he didn’t, so Andy continued their conversation and got in a new dig at Bender, “You know, Bender, you don’t even count. If you disappeared forever it wouldn’t make any difference. You may as well not even exist anymore.” Brian gulped, thinking about his recent and frequent thoughts about how he himself ‘may as well not even exist anymore.’ He was doing...okay since the day he had had a semi-plan to take his own life, but the feelings didn’t just stop. He was still failing Shop, of all classes. He was still a disappointment and burden to his parents. He was still invisible at school, to Y/N. None of that went away when Mr. Ryan found the gun in his locker. Bender turned Andrew’s comment around and said he’d go out and join some clubs.

Now, Brian saw his opportunity to be less invisible, maybe. “I’m in a math club!” He blurted out. No dice. Bender and Claire just continued bickering, ignoring him completely. But he couldn’t help it when he stated “I’m in the Physics Club, too,” in their direction just hoping, praying that someone would acknowledge him. He hadn’t counted on that person being Y/N, though. She’d turned slightly towards him and his blue eyes flickered to hers and he froze. Having been lost in the argument between the others, he had almost forgotten that she was there. She gave him a gentle smile and a nod that made him gulp. He’d suddenly failed to remember how to breathe, how to function and his mind was only filled with a channel of ‘Oh shit. She’s looking at me.’

But then she added, “I’m in the Drama Club.” Of course, he knew that, but it was still nice for her, of all people, to be making conversation with him. He was immediately forced to snap out of it, though, when Bender addressed him.

“Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?” While Brian hated the look John gave him (it was much too similar to his parents’ frustrated looks when he was clearly ‘bothering’ them with something), Brian felt compelled to answer. He had wanted to be noticed, to be involved in the conversation, right?

“Well, what I’d said was, I’m in the Math Club, the Latin Club, uh, and the Physics Clu-Physics Club,” he stumbled through his words nervously. He felt regret instantly as Bender turned it around as a slight on Claire, and also managed to insult him by calling him a dork in the process. Still, he yearned for his attention and approval, so he eagerly answered John’s follow up questions. He just wanted to get along with everyone and have them accept him, and even though John was just using his input as ammunition against Claire, he liked that he was at least being included.

*~~~~*

It was a long, dragging morning. It was only around 10AM and topics of conversation seemed to already run out. Everyone was now more or less keeping to themselves. At first, Brian thought about writing his essay, as he said he planned to, but why bother? There were still many hours to fill, and how was he possibly supposed to answer the prompt of Who Am I? He truly did not know. He’d actually been pondering that a lot lately. All of his life he was praised for his smarts, but the ‘real world’ was showing him that that didn’t mean jack shit. Sure, he could understand difficult concepts and dissect complex equations, but that meant nothing if he couldn’t apply it. He thought he was taking the easy way out with Shop. It was meant to be a class he didn’t have to worry about; a stress-free A to keep his GPA up while juggling various clubs and volunteer opportunities to put on his college applications next year. But it ended up being a total nightmare. He was absolutely terrible at it, and he had never failed at anything before. Now the burn-outs and underachievers had the upper hand and were able to make their projects work and look good and he had...nothing. He failed so miserably that it tanked his self-esteem and now he was stuck in an identity crisis. It was much too early on a Saturday to confront those demons, so instead he chose to sit and daydream. And subconsciously, as with many teenage boys, his attention fell to girls. As much as he thought Claire was self-centered and spoiled, he had to admit that she was attractive. She carefully curated herself to be so. She had perfect, beautiful red hair that was never out of place, flawless makeup, perfectly fitting chic clothes...and she was staring into space licking and biting her lip, which had him completely flustered. Y/N only added to it by adjusting and stretching in her seat. Her beauty was more effortless than Claire’s, or at least seemed less...intentional. She did not have the designer clothes and her hair was more natural than trendy but alluring in her own right, and the way she was pushing her chest out was not helping. He could feel the shift and tightness in his khakis and tried to nonchalantly clear his throat, but now Y/N was turned three-quarters around and could clearly see him, so he tried to sneak his hat into his lap and acted like nothing was going on by setting his head on the desk. ‘Oh shit. Oh fuck.’ were the chorus of his thoughts as he could see her quickly turn back around and face forward. ‘I’m sure she thinks I’m a creep now. Great going, Johnson,’ he chastised himself.

Vernon was almost a welcome sight when he strode into the library at 10:20 to allow them to use the “lavatory.” Brian almost let out a sigh of relief. Almost. When they returned to the library and it was clear that Vernon wouldn’t return for a while, Bender started ripping up a book and when he threw it at Brian, the latter took that as his cue to walk away. He spotted Y/N looking through the catalogue of books and approached her. “Hey.” He nodded in her direction, trying to play it cool and seem neutral. ‘Smooth. Great opening,’ he thought. But to his surprise, she actually said ‘Hi’ back and smiled. He had no idea what to talk about and didn’t really think this through, but the black-clad girl let out a startling, “HA!” that made them both jump.

Brain looked back to the others and heard Andrew sarcastically say, “Oh, you’re breaking my heart,” to Claire.

“Sporto?” Bender asked, “Do you get along with your parents?” Brian started to look between the two of them nervously.

“Well, if I say yes I’m an idiot right?” Andrew responded. Bender leapt over the ramp’s banister and started at the other boy.

“You’re an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, then you’re a liar too.” Not only did Brian not like being involved in confrontation, he also hated being witness to it. As Andrew followed Bender, he felt compelled to go break it up, put a stop to this.

“You want me to turn it up?” Bender asked, flipping off Andrew as Brian stepped between them, placing a hand on one of each of their shoulders. They smacked his hands away, almost in sync and he withdrew, but he knew words could be just as powerful as actions.

“I, I don’t like my parents either. I don’t know. Their idea of parental compassion is just...whacko.” Brian confessed.

“Dork? You are a parent’s wet dream, okay?” Bender replied, clapping him on his shoulder. It was a friendly enough gesture, but it actually dealt a devastating blow. Brian knew he was a disappointment to his parents. He was being open and honest with the group and was shut down immediately anyway. “...face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What would you be out doing if you weren’t making yourself a better citizen?” Another hit. This one made Brian sink against one of the tables. He hung his head and didn’t even notice Y/N approach him until she softly placed her hand on his shoulder.

“You okay?” She offered, gazing into his eyes. He was terrified that she would be able to read him and to see the truth, to see the sad and scared kid he truly was inside. Instead, he stiffened up and sat rigidly, clearing his throat of emotion.

“Yeah, thanks.” He also tried his best to ignore that she was touching him. If he weren’t in detention being told he was the epitome of geek by John Bender, he’d have sworn this were a dream. Bender now moved his disdain to Claire, asking if she were a virgin. Y/N shifted uncomfortably away from Brian and crossed her arms over her chest, but still stood next to him, watching the same drama unfold. Bender and Andrew soon stood in front of them, fully in a heated argument and Bender took a swing. Brian didn’t think twice and reflexively shot his arm up to shield Y/N. Sure, his crush on her might be stupid or silly, but he was not about to let her get caught in this crossfire and get hurt. He watched as Andrew wrestled Bender to the floor and Bender said, “I don’t want to get into this with you, man...cuz I’d kill you.” Andrew let him up and they seemed to separate and cool down, so Brian finally moved his arm back down, assuming the danger towards Y/N was gone but he was on-guard still, ready to move again if he needed to. “It’s real simple. I’d kill you and then your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a big mess, and I don’t care about you enough to bother.” For some reason, this hit Brian hard and he had to look away, look down to escape. But then he heard a click and his head shot up. Bender had pulled out a switchblade. His eyes went wide and he looked cautiously at Y/N who looked just as shocked. They all relaxed a little when he stabbed it into a chair instead of Andrew’s flesh, but immediately panicked again when the door audibly unlatched and opened. They scrambled to get to their seats, Bender quickly striding to the front and sitting far away from Andy so as not to implicate himself. But that meant that he had stolen Y/N’s seat. On her original route to it, she diverted and sat quickly and silently next to Brian. He swallowed hard in response.

Instead of Vernon, Carl the janitor walked in. They collectively sighed with relief and he addressed Brian. “Brian, how ya doin’?” Brian quickly averted his eyes, both embarrassed to be seen here by Carl (he stayed late in many clubs and had built up a good rapport with the man and didn’t need him thinking less of him for being in detention) and by being seen as associated with him by his peers. Carl was a great guy, really funny and nice; accommodated every need each one of his clubs had...but Brian was still a teenager and image was everything and being thought of as ‘dweeb who is friends with the janitor’ was not how he wanted to be seen.

“Your dad work here?” Bender inquired, smirking deviously. Brian just shook his head in response and didn’t answer Carl, either. “Carl, can I ask you a question? How does one become a janitor?” Bender continued.

“You want to become a janitor?” Carl asked, knowing that Bender didn’t really want to know.

“No, I just want to know how one becomes one. Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.” Bender glanced over at Andrew and smirked again, pleased with his implied put-down.

“Oh really? You guys think I’m some untouchable peasant, serf, peon? Maybe so. But following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last eight years, I’ve learned a couple of things.” Carl looked towards Brian and Y/N, “I look through your letters.” Brian thought he saw her stiffen and freeze, just a little bit, as if Carl were addressing her. She suddenly shifted away from Brian and he wasn’t sure what to make of that. “...I am the eyes and the ears of this institution, my friend.” Carl stopped and smiled, “By the way. That clock is twenty minutes fast.” Brian looked at it and then his watch, noting that he was right. He wasn’t sure if he should adjust his wrist piece or not; to go with the time on the wall or the time Vernon was keeping. But he couldn’t be bothered with the choice when Bender stood up and faced his table. He was afraid of what he might do or say to them, but he simply nodded towards Y/N’s seat, indicating that she could have it back.

“I’m good for now,” she said, surprising Brian. He assumed she would have moved back, a moment ago she moved away from him, but now she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye before glancing back up at John, who was raising an inquisitive eyebrow. “Thanks for not dicking with my stuff though,” she said.

“Oh, shit.” Bender said “Do you think I should steal something or has the moment passed?” The tension seemed to drop and they all smiled as he went back to his seat, but he turned his attention back their way. “So, you’ve been pretty quiet, what’s your name?” Brian had a bad habit of blurting out. He liked answering questions as it was, showing his knowledge. A lot of the time, it didn’t matter if he was being asked or not. So, without thinking, he responded to Bender’s question and told him Y/N’s name. It was a reflex, but one he instantly regretted, feeling like he just shot himself in the foot. Bender gave him a look and he steeled himself for his worst, for the mockery sure to come, but instead he just looked at her and followed up with “Is that true? Is that your name?”

She didn’t acknowledge his weirdness either. She simply nodded and told John, “Yeah, (Y/N). Or, I guess you could call me (Y/N/N) if you want,” and Brian let out a quiet shaky exhale in relief. That could have been...disastrous. After a moment, while Bender was otherwise occupied, she turned to him and said, “Thank you, for earlier. I mean, blocking me when those two were getting into it.” He felt his heart race; he wasn’t sure she had even noticed that earlier, even though he wasn’t exactly subtle.

“N-no problem.” He responded, trying to restrain the smile creeping up onto his face. He wanted to play it cool, like it was no big deal, like that’s just what manly men such as himself do: put themselves in harm’s way for others.

Vernon came in to dismiss them for lunch much too early for his liking. He didn’t really have much of a chance to talk to Y/N while she was sitting next to him, and as soon as they were allowed to mill about like the caged animals they currently were, the remaining members of their detention gravitated towards Bender near the center of the library. Brian was slightly disappointed when she wandered off into the stacks as Bender looked through books and Claire continued her daydreaming. Not really sure what to do with himself, Brian folded his long legs over one of the ramp railings and sat atop it, hunched over. He looked up when Bender called out, “Hey, Peachy!” There were a few moments of silence before Y/N looked back over in their direction and Brian froze, immediately disliking Bender addressing her as such and worrying what uncouth thing he might say to her. But he just asked her what she could be in detention for, because she didn’t seem the type, which Brian wholeheartedly agreed with. He waited intently for the answer, as every interaction he had with her (or every observation, rather), she seemed so...sweet.

“Oh. Well, you know how in Biology they dissect like, frogs and shit every year?” She looked a little defeated and a blush crept up her cheeks as she continued, “I---sort of stole and freed the frogs.” Brian couldn’t help but laugh. That seemed like something you shouldn’t get detention for, anyway, but it was definitely on-par with the personality he knew her for. He felt relieved that the reason aligned with how he thought of her. She was in here for something nice, and debatably, the right thing. His heart melted a little when she told Bender that she had researched enough to let the frogs go responsibly; that she would have adopted them if they wouldn’t have made it on their own and he couldn’t help but smile in her direction. Bender, of course, moved on quickly, scanning one of the books in his stack to find new material to talk about, to bother the girls with, but Brian’s gaze was still fixated on Y/N. She was running her fingers along spines of books, seemingly in her own world. He felt like maybe it was fated that they were both here, like he was getting a second chance. He still hadn’t really conjured up the courage to talk to her yet, but they were only half-way through their day; there was still time.

“Claire? Y/N? You wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts?” Bender asked, “Pretty tasty. How do you think he rides a bike? Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy like this?”

“Wait,” Y/N’s eyes lit up and she looked their way again. “Elephantiasis? Like the movie The Elephant Man? Great movie! Really sad though.” Brian grinned at the way she scrunched her eyebrows together in remembering the emotion from the movie. He had seen it, too. It was really good...and touching. Maybe that could be his ice-breaker. Movies were normal things that normal teenagers talked about, right? He didn’t really notice that Bender and Claire were still conversing until it implicated him, though.

“Oh! Watch what you say. Brian here is a cherry.” Brian looked at him, startled.

“A cherry?” He asked, indignantly, cheeks flaring up with a red hue. “I am not a cherry.” He didn’t need Bender calling him out like this, embarrassing him. He didn’t need the obvious association that the nerd was a virgin. Especially in front of beautiful girls, particularly Y/N. She didn’t need to know that he was an inexperienced loser.

“When have you ever gotten laid?” Bender asked, doubtfully

“I’ve laid lots of times.”

“Name ONE.” Bender said, sarcastically, hoping to catch him in a trap.

“She lives in Canada. Met her at Niagara Falls; You wouldn’t know her.” Brian said, prepared with this answer from previous conversations about this topic. It wasn’t the first time he’d been involved in a conversation about virginity that he couldn’t be entirely honest about, nor was it the first time he had been mocked for being a virgin or doubted about the non-existent relations that he didn’t have. Even though part of his brain felt like it was glaringly obvious to the outside world and must have been stamped on his forehead that girls did not typically talk to him, nor had he even kissed a girl before, but he still lied about it anyway. He knew he didn’t precisely have an ‘image’ to protect, but he didn’t want to seem like a total lost cause or dweeby stereotype.

Bender, however, wasn’t having it. “You ever lay anyone around here?” He scoffed and Brian panicked. He had noticed that Y/N had turned back to the aisle of books and was praying she wasn’t listening, and Claire didn’t seem to be paying attention, so he tried to gesture to Bender to keep it down, to let him off the hook before either girl noticed him or this conversation. Bender immediately twisted it around and attacked him with it, though. Brian felt his heart being squeezed and felt overwhelmed, instantly, as Bender said, “Oh. You and Claire did it.”

“Oh, uh I-Let’s just drop it, okay? We’ll talk about it later,” Brian attempted to get out of it again, praying that John would have one ounce of mercy on him. However, Brian was never really very lucky.

“Well, Brian is trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you and he are riding the hobby horse.” Brian’s eyes slammed shut in embarrassment.

“You little pig,” Claire growled at him and his eyes shot back open wide. He scrambled to defend himself.

“No! I’m not! John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn’t. That’s it. That’s all I said.”

“Well then what were you motioning to Claire for?” Bender followed up, not giving Brian any wiggle room.

“You know, I don’t appreciate this very much, Brian.” Claire sounded more disappointed and hurt than anything, which made Brian feel like a slug, instantly. He didn’t mean to implicate her or to bring her down. He was just trying to hide his embarrassment from John and the girls.

“He is lying!” Brian tried one last attempt to deflect.

“Oh, you weren’t motioning to Claire?”

“You know he’s lying, right?”

“Were you, or were you not motioning to Claire?” Brian hated this. He’d been stuffed in lockers before and yearned for that over the torture Bender was inflicting now. He couldn’t save face; either he was a disgusting creep saying he had had sex with Claire when he didn’t, or he’d have to tell them the truth and feel humiliated at telling everyone he was a virgin. He grit his teeth and chose to go with the latter.

“Yeah, but it was only- it was only because I didn’t want her to know I was a virgin, okay?” They looked almost...shocked by his response, which he wasn’t expecting. He thought it would be a ‘Well, duh, you’re a virgin, Johnson! Who would want to touch you?’ But Claire and Y/N looked surprised. “Excuse me for being a virgin, I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you want me to know you were a virgin?” Claire asked honestly, like it was no big deal. If she only knew...

“Because it’s personal business. It’s my personal, private business.”

“Well, Brian, it doesn’t sound like you’re doing any business,” Bender snuck in another jab and Brian was brought down to what he knew all along, that they were just going to laugh at him.

“I think it’s okay for a guy to be a virgin.” Claire’s unexpected response gave him instant relief. She was taking his side and Bender had no more ammo. Brian perked up even more when Y/N agreed with her. It wasn’t an embarrassing secret for him now because they didn’t mind. They almost seemed to admire him for it. The thought caused his lips to twitch and he hid his smile by leaning his head against his knee.

*~~~~*

During lunch, Bender didn’t have any food, so his appetite turned to targeting the rest of the detainees again. He started in on Claire for a bit, but then came over to taunt Brian. It seemed like it could be friendly, at first, as John just examined his lunch. But as he drew out each item, his tone became more and more sarcastic. “Here’s my impression of life at Big Bri’s house.” Bender went on to mock him, painting his life like it was some episode of Leave It To Beaver where the family would all hug it out at the end. Brian’s throat became dry and he could feel eyes on both Bender and himself, trying to judge his reactions to John’s farce. He hated being such an easy target. He hadn’t done anything towards John personally, but he was still constantly in the hot seat because John could get away with it and the others would laugh and enjoy it. At least Andy fought back...even Claire did. And Bender didn’t even really bother to mess with Allison. She had an aura of ‘don’t fuck with me,’ and he didn’t even touch her as a subject, even though she was just as odd and out of place as Brian. Not to mention, he was wrong. It wasn’t all peachy-keen happy endings at Brian’s house. If it were, Brian wouldn’t be here today.

Still, it was hard not to be drawn in by John, and he watched his next dramatic retelling of his own home life in stunned horror. John’s dad called him terrible names in this act and hit him. “Is that for real?” Brian asked, brows furrowed. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe John, it was just that...well, the situation sucked and he needed to be told it wasn’t true. Like a kid hearing that a ghost story was made up and there was nothing to fear. But he knew by John’s pained expression that it was, even before he spoke.

“Wanna come over some time?” Bender asked him and he flinched away. Andrew didn’t believe him though, and questioned it so John revealed to them all his very real cigar burn scar on his arm, claiming he got it from spilling paint in the garage. The group collectively flinched and no one moved for a few moments while Bender said, “I don’t need to sit with you fuckin’ dildos anymore,” and raged through the library.

“You shouldn’t have said that,” Claire admonished Andrew.

“How would I know? I mean he lies about everything anyway.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” Y/N snapped at him and looked back towards Bender as though she wanted to follow him. Brian tried to will her silently not to; he didn’t really trust that Bender would control his emotions and she might get hurt. He felt relieved when she turned around, but then his heart began pounding once more as she gathered her lunch into the sack and stood up. ‘No, don’t do it, Y/N.’ He stared at her, but she didn’t seem to notice as she cautiously walked past and crept up the library stairs to where Bender was and sat next to him. Brian felt a little calmed when Bender didn’t lash out; he just rolled his eyes but stayed rooted to the spot. Meanwhile, the rest of the group at their lunch in silence.

*~~~~*

Brian felt guilty for leaving Bender behind, for allowing him to sacrifice himself for the group. Hell, they all did. Especially when Vernon started shoving him around and saying he was going to be in jail. Brian couldn’t help but wonder if he could become like John. It’s not like he was born into that life. But he had it tough at home, struggled at school, and had problems with authority (particularly when they lied). Brian could see some parallels. He, too, was unhappy at home. While his parents didn’t beat him like John’s did him, or berate him to the same degree, he couldn’t help but feel like a disappointment. And he felt like he was just slipping. Now he had broken school rules, brought a gun to school, watched as others destroyed school property, and was gaining a healthy distrust of authority by seeing how Vernon acted today. He’d even corrected him once, when counting Bender’s detentions, not that the truth seemed to matter to Vernon anyway. What if he continued down this path? What if things just kept getting worse at home? Would it really be that bad to be like Bender? Despite being a total jerkwad, he had the charisma to draw people in. He’d even had Y/N eat lunch with him! It just didn’t seem like the deal was all bad when he looked at it that way. ‘What’s next? Are you going to take up smoking?’ His brain scolded him, even though he had completely forgotten that he had drugs stashed in his pants right now...until Bender fell through the ceiling and asked for them back. He dug them uncomfortably out of his underwear and handed the bag over. Bender took off to smoke in the library and Brian realized he had a choice to make. Boy, was he tempted. ‘What’s one more rule broken today?’ He felt more emboldened when Claire stood up and followed John. Andrew tried to talk him out of it, shaking his head. Brian drummed his hands on the desk. He wasn’t sure he’d have another opportunity. Most of his friends and acquaintances didn’t do drugs...to his knowledge, anyway. He thought momentarily about his cousin Kendall, and how he started smoking pot and didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere. ‘You already don’t feel like you belong anywhere,’ His mind reminded him, and with that, the decision was made; what did he have to lose? So he slunk off to join Bender and Claire.

It was...definitely a different experience. Brian didn’t care for the way his thoughts seemed so disjointed, that he couldn’t keep one train of thought going. For someone who was known for his intelligence and felt like his brain was his one good quality, it was a little scary to have that slip away. But, there was a sort of numbness that came with the drug that made him worry less about that. He felt less worried and anxious in general, actually. His focus was being pulled in too many directions to wonder what his parents would think or if he was saying the right thing, or if this could even be a mistake. He felt relaxed and oddly open. He was even making Bender and Claire laugh, which he hadn’t expected. It was like there was a new persona underneath that was unlocked. He didn’t know what he was doing, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever. He was, however, surprised by how long the effects lasted. It was a little more than an hour later and the whole group was sitting in a circle (Y/N and Allison never seemed to have joined them in the marijuana. Not that he had noticed, anyway) and Allison was telling the group that she was a nymphomaniac, which was exciting. Particularly to someone with zero experience, to hear someone claim she’d done ‘almost everything’ was utterly fascinating. However, his head was still swimming and he seemed to have a lack of filter between his brain and his mouth. He couldn’t catch his words fast enough, which was often a problem for him sober, but now it wasn’t just supplying corrections or information, the more cruel thoughts slipped through, too.

“Obviously she’s crazy if she’s screwing her shrink,” he added to the group without even thinking. Y/N was sitting to his right and promptly hit him on the arm with the back of her hand.

“Brian!” She hissed and gave him a glare. ‘Oh shit. Did I say that out loud?’ He thought, looking at her with wide-eyed fear. The realization sobered him up pretty quickly and he was much more in control of his thoughts and words after that. Despite the weed taking away most of his worries, he still cared how she perceived him. From then on, he was more focused on the conversations in front of him and how he added to them, but it was harder to control his emotions when Andrew began telling them about why he was here today.

“You guys know what I did to get in here today? I taped Larry Lester’s buns together.” Andy said, with a hint of a smile. ‘How can he just smirk like that? He has to know it was a shitty thing to do and that he hurt Larry.’ Brian thought. He knew Larry had been attacked this week by one of the sports, but he didn’t know who. Larry didn’t even know the kid’s name, had never talked to him, but still got jumped anyway. An experience that Brian was all too familiar with.

“That was you?” Brian asked, somewhat surprised, but started to get angry.

“You know him?”

“Yeah, I know him.” He said quietly, trying not to let the anger bubble past the surface.

He had to bite his tongue when Andy made Larry into a joke, “Then you know how hairy he is right?” Bender and Claire chuckled at his joke, at him bullying one of Brian’s friends. ‘I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything different,’ Brian thought dejectedly. But he was hoping that they were all better people than...this. The realization that they weren’t better than that, coupled with Andrew expressing his feelings about his father got Brian thinking. “I...hate him. He’s like this mindless machine that I can’t even relate to anymore.” Brian felt so disconnected from his parents, too, even though the rest of the group thought they lived in a fairytale. He was their pride and joy once, but it felt like ever since he started high school, he just wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t a good enough student, he didn’t do his chores right, he wasn’t setting himself up for college correctly, he wasn’t a good role model or brother to his sister...it all just added up and weighed on him immensely. He covered his face with one of his hands to hide his emotion and expression from the group. He didn’t even react when Andrew started screaming what his father had told him, but when everything settled down, he took the chance to speak.

“That’s like me, you know, with my grades. Like, when I step outside myself. A-and I look in on myself...and-and I see me, I don’t like what I see,” it was a difficult thing to admit but after what Allison and Andrew shared, he felt like maybe this could be the space to do so, too.

“What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you like yourself?” Claire asked. He knew it was meant to be nice, encouraging even, but it just made him feel worse. This beautiful, popular, and rich girl asking someone why they weren’t happy with themselves? Like she could have any sort of clue. No wonder it baffled her; she had everything. But he could also see Y/N nodding vigorously, agreeing with Claire. He didn’t want to put her on the same plane as Claire, he felt like she would be above that. But she clearly didn’t understand the way he felt, either. That just made him feel more alone.

“It’s stupid, but,” Brian said, “because I’m failing shop. We had this assignment to make this, uh, ceramic elephant. Anyways we were supposed to-it was, it was a lamp. When you pulled the trunk, the light was supposed to go on. But my light didn’t go on. I got an F on it. I’ve never got an F in my life. When I signed up, y’know, for the course, I thought I was playing it smart. I was, uh, ‘I’ll take Shop, it’s an easy way to maintain my grade point average.’”

“Why’d you think it would be easy?” Bender chimed in, not making eye contact. Brian had been lost in his own thoughts and his story and not looking at the group either, really. He had wanted to be honest, but he was also embarrassed. Honesty would have been hard to maintain if he was looking at them and seeing their judgments in real time.

“Have you seen some of the dopes that take Shop?” Brian asked, not realizing it would strike a nerve.

“I take Shop.” Bender responded, now turning his eyes to him, “You must be a fucking idiot.”

“I’m a fucking idiot because I can’t make a lamp?” Brian snapped defensively. He should have known it would be a mistake to put himself on the line like this, to open himself up to their judgement. He knew Bender was lashing out because he was insulted, but that didn’t make his jibes hurt any less.

“No, you’re a genius because you can’t make a lamp.” Bender shot back, sarcastically.

“What do you know about Trigonometry?” Brian fought back.

“I could care less about Trigonometry.”

“Bender, there’s no engineering without trigonometry.”

“Without lamps, there’d be no light.” Bender replied grumpily, grasping at straws for a fair comparison.

“Okay, so neither one of you is any better than the other one,” Claire jumped in. Before either of them responded, Allison added her own odd addition.

“I can write with my toes!” Both Bender and Brian looked at her incredulously, but she did calm the two of them down and add levity to the moment.

“I can make spaghetti!” Brian said cheerfully after a moment. Y/N smiled at him and his heart fluttered. He returned the smile and for a moment, forgot all about his blunder. Maybe that smile had given him the courage to participate again, to be open and vulnerable. Claire and Bender began fighting again, which wasn’t a surprise, but it opened a door for Brian to ask what had been weighing on his mind since their circle began. He felt like they had all bonded. They had told each other some of their deepest secrets and biggest pains, but did that really make them friends? “I know it’s kind of a weird time, but you know, I was just wondering...what’s going to happen to us on Monday? I mean, I consider you guys my friends,” he continued, looking around the circle, “I’m not wrong, am I?”

“No,” Andy reassured him. So, he wasn’t imagining it, they felt like friends, too.

“So on Monday, what happens?”

“Are we still friends, you mean? If we’re friends now?” Claire asked.

“Yeah.”

“You want the truth?” Claire couldn’t meet his eye, and Brian knew from the question she posed, he really didn’t want the truth. He knew what was coming, but he continued anyway.

“Yeah, I want the truth.”

“I don’t think so.” Claire responded and he somehow still wasn’t prepared for the blow. It still hit him hard, causing a squeezing pain in his chest and he looked away, clenching his jaw to hold the tears back that were welling in his eyes.

“With all of us,” Allison asked, “or just John?”

“With all of you,” Claire confirmed, looking away from the group.

“That’s a real nice attitude, Claire,” Andrew said gruffly.

“Oh, be honest, Andy,” Claire groaned, “If Brian came up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? Picture it, you’re with all the sports.” Brian glanced up at his name and looked at Andy hopefully. In his heart, he knew Claire was probably right, but he wanted to believe that Andrew was really his friend, that they all were. “You know exactly what you’d do. You’d say hi to him and then you’d laugh and cut him all up so your friends wouldn’t think you actually like him.”

“No way.” Andy denied, and that gave Brian a glimmer of hope, one he so desperately wanted to believe.

“What if I came up to you?” Allison asked.

“Same exact thing.”

“You are a bitch!” Bender yelled at Claire.

“Why?! Because I’m telling the truth? That makes me a bitch?”

“No. Cuz you know how shitty that is to do to someone and you don’t have the balls to stand up to your friends and tell them you’re gonna like who you wanna like…” Bender continued berating Claire, but Brian now started to fail to hold back the tears that had been threatening so long to fall. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone in the group and tried to quickly wipe the tear away, hoping no one was paying attention to him; that they couldn’t see how they had impacted him. But he still felt eyes on him, particularly when he wiped the next tear away. He let Claire and Bender’s argument surround him. They called each other out, that neither would associate with him or Allison, that their image was too important to protect to reach out. It was a story that Brian had lived all of his life. ‘How could I think that one day would change everything?’ He thought, pitifully.

“So I assume Allison, Y/N, and I are better people than you? Us weirdos?” Brian interjected when Claire and Bender were silently fuming from their spat. “You, would you do that to me?” He asked Allison.

“I don’t have any friends,” she replied, which made Brian smile a little, even though he rolled his eyes some.

“Okay, but if you did?” He let out a light chuckle, urging her to answer.

“No. I don’t think the kind of friends that I’d have would mind,” Allison replied and Brian nodded, then steeled himself to turn to Y/N and ask the same question. He saw her quickly swipe at her face with her sleeves and realized, suddenly, that she had been crying too. He wasn’t sure why; she had been very quiet through this whole exchange, but maybe that was because it hit home hard for her, too. He felt a painful pang in his chest, both from seeing her tears and from fearing the possibility of her answer. He had spent the day hoping that this was a second chance, that he could get to know her. This was a bold move and would tell him if there was even a chance or not; and he feared the ‘not.' She locked eyes with him and he gulped, petrified to dive in but knowing he had to.

“What about you, Y/N?” He asked, quietly. It felt like the question hung in the air for an agonizing eternity, even though she answered right away. Time worked differently when you were waiting to hear if your world was going to be shattered.

“I would be honored to be your friend,” she replied with a shaking voice. Even though it was strained, it filled him with instant relief. He believed her as he had believed Allison and nodded, biting his lip.

“I just want to tell, each of you, that I wouldn’t do that,” he turned to the group,” I wouldn’t and I will not. Because I think it’s real shitty.”

“Your friends wouldn’t mind because they look up to us.” Claire told him and he couldn’t help but laugh derisively in response. Next to him, he heard Y/N give a sort of squeak but figured that it carried the same disbelief towards Claire as his gesture did.

“You’re so conceited, Claire. You’re so conceited. You’re like, so full of yourself. Why are you like that?” Brian noticed the tears falling again and swiped them away. He didn’t want Claire to think she wounded him, that she had the upper hand. While it stung to have all of his beliefs about how the popular kids perceived him and his friends confirmed, that wasn’t what really was bothering him. It was more that it reminded him that he was invisible, he didn’t matter, which was exactly why he was here today.

“I’m not saying that to be conceited. I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Claire sighed, and Brian noticed that she was drying her own tears. He didn’t necessarily like having caused them, but it was nice to know she was still human, that she was feeling the way he was, too. “You don’t understand, You’re not friends with the same kind of people Andy and I are friends with, you know? You just don’t understand the kind of pressure that they can put on you.” That, however, lit a fire within Brian. ‘Pressure from other assholes is so important? Try your own parents, Claire.’

“I don’t understand what?” Brian began, gesturing towards himself and planting his fingers into his chest. It relieved some of the dull ache there. “You think I don’t understand pressure, Claire? Well, fuck you! Fuck you!” ‘Also, fuck ‘bravery’ or saving face,’ Brian broke down into sobs in his elbow before calling out from his hiding spot, “do you know why I’m here today? Do you?!” He sat up to look at the group, the people he considered friends, to share his pain with them. “I’m here...because Mr. Ryan found a gun in my locker.” The words turned thick as they left his mouth and took on a life of their own. His eyes darted quickly around the circle, noting Claire’s dropped jaw, Allison’s tearful eyes that couldn’t meet his own, the way Andrew looked away and Bender seemed to know how he had felt, but also how he was surprised that Brian had the balls to do such a thing, and finally...tears silently and consistently slipping down Y/N’s face.

“What’s the gun for?” Andrew asked, interrupting Brian’s thoughts.

“I tried. You pull the fuckin’--trunk and the light’s supposed to go on and it didn’t go on, you know?” ‘You’ve said too much. They all thought you were a weirdo, now they think you’re a psychotic weirdo.’ “Forget it. Just--forget it,” he said in an attempt to brush it off, as if everything could go back to normal with the bombshell he just dropped on them.

“You brought it up, man,” Andrew insisted.

“I can’t have an F. I can’t have it and I know my parents can’t. Even if I aced the rest of the semester, it would only be a B. I’m ruined.”

“Brian…” Claire started, but there was nothing she could say to make this alright. ‘You’re a failure, Brian, and now you’ve become a freakshow. Look at her pity,’ his brain taunted him and he lashed out to hit the stool on his right, not even thinking about it until Y/N jumped up in her seated position, startled. The last thing he would want to do is hurt or scare her. ‘Shit, great. Another fuck up.’

“Sorry,” he mumbled in her direction before setting his head on his knee and continuing with his story from before, “Just considering my options, you know?”

“No, killing yourself is never an option!” Claire yelled at him, which made him scoff.

“Well I didn’t do it, did I? No, I didn’t think so.” ‘She really just doesn’t get it, does she? She still can’t picture why I’d want to--’

“It was a handgun?” Allison asked

“A flare gun. It blew up in my locker.” Brian sighed, but then he heard Andrew start to laugh. “It’s not funny.” Brian asserted. Andrew tried to clear his throat to stop laughing, but he couldn’t and Brian bit his lip and smiled in realization, “Yeah, it is.” The laughter was contagious...and better than crying. “Fucking elephant was destroyed.”

“You know what I did to get in here?” Allison asked the group, and Brian almost feared her answer. “Nothing. I didn’t have anything better to do.” That completely brightened the mood and Brian fell over laughing. It seemed like he was forgiven and that no one here was judging him for the failed lamp or the gun nor would they tell anybody about it. They...they had accepted him in the end after all.

*~~~~*

“...we trust you.” Claire was trying to talk him into writing one essay to cover all of them, and she was using flattery. Lucky for her, it worked. He looked down the row to seek approval from the others and they all nodded. But he liked knowing that they thought he was the smartest and the most capable, that they trusted his words would win over Vernon in a way that they wouldn’t be punished for not doing their own essays. It was a big task and a lot to entrust to him, so he took pride in fulfilling it. Claire took the other girls with her somewhere and it was just Andrew and him sitting silently in the library, so he decided to get to work. Andrew was just lurking about, playing with his jewelry, but he wasn’t a distraction. However, Allison passing by looking completely different was. Brian looked up, shocked that this was the same person he had spent all day with. Her hair was away from her face and he could actually see her brown eyes and she was wearing...white, the opposite of all of the layers of black before. He caught her glare at him staring at her so he tried to give her a reassuring smile, that it was a good look for her. She said, “thank you,” and moved on toward Andrew. Brian turned back to his essay and finished the last couple of lines, not noticing Y/N approaching behind him. If he had, he probably wouldn’t have kissed the essay or given himself a ‘good job’ punch in the arm.

He sat up in startled revelation when she spoke, “That good, huh?” He realized she had just seen everything. He had never felt more like a dork in his life and a blush crept up into his cheeks.

“Uh...yeah, I-I guess. I mean, do you want to read it?” He asked as she started to pull back the chair next to him to sit down.

“If you want me to, but I trust you.” She took her seat and placed her arm gently on his forearm. ‘Holy shit. She is touching me! She’s looking at me. What do I even say? Do I acknowledge the touch or do I just--’ “I’m impressed that you came up with something so quickly though.” Brian felt pride bubble up within him, knowing that she noticed...no, she was impressed by him. He cocked his head and looked at her sideways, trying to figure her out. She quickly looked away and pulled her hand back, now fiddling with her sleeves. ‘Is she...nervous?’ He thought, trying to decode her reaction. “So, um…you said earlier that you were in the Math Club? Um, I mean, if you have the time, do you think you could tutor me? I’m like totally lost in Clarkson’s class.”

He blinked. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t exactly that. Not that he would say no to spending more time with her. He had wanted that second chance, after all. “Yeah, no, I could do that,” he told her and watched as she twisted away and looked behind her, grabbing paper off of Allison’s desk. She leaned back forward and reached for his pen in front of him. She was actually close enough now that he could smell her shampoo and his body threatened to turn into jello on the spot.

“Here...is...my...phone number.” She said as she wrote it out on the paper and handed it to him. “Call me so we can set something up?” She looked up at him and knocked the breath right out of his lungs.

“You--You want me to call you?” He asked with raised eyebrows, wholly surprised by the request. He’d not only not kissed a girl, but one had never given him her phone number before.

“Yeah.” She smiled at him and his heartbeat picked up even faster, if that was possible. She cleared her throat and nodded towards Andrew and Allison. “So, those two, huh? Unexpected, right?”

“Oh. Yeah.” He was suddenly hurtled back to Earth, to reality. “Definitely. Wait, where’s Claire?”

“She...she said she was going to go ‘check on’ Bender.”

“Wow. So them, too.” ‘Everyone is coupling up maybe we should--’ he interrupted his own thought and shot it down. All he could say was, “That’s really...weird.”

*~~~~*

After they were finally released and Brian left his essay on the desk for Vernon to collect, and hopefully reflect upon, they all walked out together. It made sense as they all had to go to the main entrance, but there was a feeling of solidarity within it that made Brian think that the members of what he dubbed The Breakfast Club would continue their friendship come Monday.

Allison and Andrew branched off together, as did Claire and John. Brian looked quickly at Y/N as she walked down the steps with him. His dad was there to pick him up, which he was thankful for. His mom would definitely notice him walking with a girl and have a million questions and a lengthy lecture lined up, but his dad would barely notice, much less think anything of it. He reached for the door handle as Y/N was about to depart, but then she called his name, “Hey Brian,” he looked up, not sure what else she could possibly have to say, especially since they had been silent while the couples had veered off. “See you Monday.” She reminded him and gave him a small smile. He gave a grin in return.

“Yeah. I’ll talk to you on Monday.” He replied, beginning to get into the car, her phone number burning a hole in his pocket. For the first time in a long time, he was actually looking forward to another week school.

Tags:

@criminalwipes

[ansogs]

Warning. I’m going to go on a rant. I just realized...

Well, actually, I’ve been thinking on it for awhile.

But I’m going to stop responding to someone who has been, or what I thought has been, my friend since high school. (11 years)

I’m not one to hold grudges. I, myself, have made many mistakes.

But looking back, one, this girl slept with my ex boyfriend when I was with him back in 2010. I should have quit making eye contact with her after that. But, I had zero self esteem. And was a walking doormat. I forgot about it because the dude was trash anyway.

Two, she ONLY messages me when she wants something. Or to make plans and bail last minute. Recently, she messaged me about going to an amusement park. She said the week of June 14th. I said I’d love to go, and then I never heard back about that. She changed the subject of wanting me to make her something. (I’m somewhat crafty.) She does this often. She wants me to take pictures or make something, says she will pay me, then doesn’t.

Three, speaking of crafty. When she had her baby, I stayed up over 24 hours making her a gift basket. She had an emergency csection. I took a piece of wood and burned an image of a camera into it for her because she wanted to start a photography business. I made a self care kit for her. And I had some toys and an outfit for her son. It took over 5 hours to finish it all. I didn’t even get a thank you. And speaking of her baby, while she was pregnant, she barely said 3 words to me. I gave her a John Deere ride on toy for her son, and she tried selling it a week later.

And yes, there is more. Four. After she had her baby, she saw where my mom tagged me in an article about an art university. She KNEW how badly I wanted to be a mom and how my exhusband and I had tried for several years before and that it also didn’t seem like it was going to happen with my at the time boyfriend. She has the audacity to comment under the post “You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Just look at me. I wanted to be a mommy and now I am one.” I should have told her off then.

Oh, it gets better. Five. I get pregnant. I’m super excited. Happy tears. Emotions all over the place. I’m thinking, I can’t wait to tell her. She’s the only friend I have that still talks to me. Well, she needed a ride to the store. I put a sign in the back window that says “mom to be on board.” When I got to her house, I told her to look in the back window. She looks at it, storms up to the passenger side window, and says pretty damn hatefully “it’s not as easy as it looks.” And then proceeds to storm off into the house. She said she didn’t need a ride to the store anymore. The next day, she calls herself aunt and acts happy as if the day prior never happened. I didn’t even tell her when I had my son, because she was also still friends with my baby’s father who turned out to be a psychopath.

She’s also been jealous and never happy for anyone for the last year and a half because she lost custody of her child. But, I mean, if you neglect your child’s basic needs, and leave them with whoever to go sleep with people, give your snap benefits to a lazy dead beat father instead of nourishing your child, and talk on social media about how hungry you and your son are... I mean wtf did you expect?!

I liked someone as well, and I think she told him a lot of bs to make him not like me or make me seem like I only liked him as a friend because she didn’t want to see either of us thriving in a relationship.

Ugh. Idk what’s wrong with me to put up with her shit for so long.

Ok, rant over. 🙃

[thecandywrites]

Jewel Of The North Part 4

Ok, so in writing this part, I imagined that while there is an art of reading actual tea leaves, I saw a picture of this plate on the left edge and thought ‘man wouldn’t reading tea leaves be easier if each squigly section was part of something? Like this section is the life section, this is the money section, this is the love life section, so on and so fourth’ you know, make it even more complicated than it probably is.Also I love and adore Indian jewelry, because that is a gold temple necklace. It’s just...gorgeous. And in my mind, a priestess of Aura (who I totally made up for this story) would be wearing a fabulous shawl, that heavy gold jewelry and a head band that would match and have something akin to an Asian tea ceremony and depending on which tea people chose- told the priestess about them, kind of like what your favorite color says about you. Also, LOOK AT THAT GOLD DRESS. Hot damn. Also as an LMT, Vahva Kun is NOT a thing. Again, something I made up. 

And of course a thousand THANK YOU’s to the fabulous and super fabulous and creative @monstersandmaw​ for sharing the concept of ice orcs with me. Me and my Alaskan born heart instantly fell in love with them. Enjoy!

Jewel of the North 

Part 4

In the morning, you pulled yourself from the bed and you felt like it was noon. Thank the gods for the time difference, because it was only 9 there. 

“Well good morning sleepy head, working miracles wear you out?” Taylor teased you as she handed you a cup of coffee. 

“Yeah,” you nodded as you took it and drank it gratefully. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Taylor asked. 

“Massages today, working with Noah tomorrow, after that…” You shrugged. 

“Happily ever after.” Taylor supplied. 

“Hush or you’ll jinx it.” You shushed her in a whisper but her scheming grin was infectious. 

It took all day but by 7pm, you had gotten everyone taken care of that you came to take care of and Taylor decided to get takeout for dinner and while at the takeout restaurant that was on the other side of town, the group of pilots came striding in. 

“That’s them. The other pilots.” Taylor breathed. 

“Who’s who?” You whispered back before she specified who was who before you had her shut up so you could overhear their conversation. They were going to get food here and then go for drinks at ‘the bar’ later. 

“What bar?” You whispered to Taylor. 

“Knowing them- it’s probably Goose’s, they have the cheapest booze around and it’s close to their apartment, like within walking distance.” Taylor answered.

“Goose’s is the seedy, underbelly place that I don’t want to go to the bathroom in? That has the awesome cheeseburgers?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” Taylor nodded as an idea bloomed in your head. 

“Are they attracted to women?” You nodded over to them. 

“Oh yeah,” Taylor confirmed before one of them wolf whistled to a group of women who came into the restaurant. Ah. Those kinds of guys. Almost too easy. 

“Could you take me there? I have an idea, it’s a dirty, underhanded idea though.” You whispered. 

“That means it’s a fantastic idea.” Taylor grinned. 

“What shoe size are you?” You asked. 

“9.” She answered. 

“Sweet, do you by any chance have any hooker heels?” You hinted. 

“Wait, wait, wait, you won’t have sex with Noah but you want to go to Goose’s in hooker heels? Every guy in that place is going to fighting for the chance to take you home if not fuck you senseless in the bar’s bathroom, if not the parking lot.” Taylor answered. 

“Oh trust me, the only one taking me home is you, I have a plan. How fast can you get dressed and dolled up?” You urged her. 

“Oh give me thirty minutes tops.” Taylor insisted. 

You got the food and barely ate two bites of it before you and Taylor quickly locked yourselves in her bathroom to get ready as you put on your most seductive makeup and a slimming undergarment under your sexiest dress that had the push up bra to end all push up bras as you brought and slipped into her hottest “hooker heels” while she wore the more sensible shoes you brought since you were the same shoe size as her. 

“How do I look? She-wolf enough?” You asked her. 

“Ah, I see, you’re going to eat them alive.” She realized. 

“Yup, my brother’s mother in law- Olga is a priestess for Aura and is Yamalian which is near Siberia and she nicknamed me Zahnochka Volchitsa which means ‘she wolf that rises again’ and just like Beyonce has Sasha Fierce, Zara Kingsley has Zahnochka Volchitsa, and Zahnochka is going to get them so wasted, they won’t be able to fly tomorrow which is good ol’ fashioned sabotage and when they can’t fly the loads, Noah will be there to pick them up and save the day.” You revealed. 

“Oooh, evil and diabolical but for the best cause ever- I love it.” Taylor nodded in approval. 

“Just don’t tell Noah, I don’t think he’d approve of my methods or like Zahnochka very much because I haven’t used “her” in a long time.” You urged her. 

“Lips are sealed.” She swore as she had you wear her fancy dress jacket to cover up so Greg wouldn’t see you or the kids. 

“Honey, Zara and I are going out for a drink, we’ll be back later.” Taylor told her husband as she quickly ushered the two of you out of the house and drove to Goose’s as you got in your wallet and slipped money into your cleavage on the way there so you wouldn’t really have to get your whole wallet out and chance any of them seeing your business card or your real... anything. Then you prayed to the gods for courage and hoped this gamble would be worth the risk to yourself and hoped this wouldn’t backfire and blow up in your face or bite you in the ass. 

Once in the bar you zeroed in the group of pilots sitting together at a table towards a wall, which was perfect and out of the way, just the way you liked it as a mischievous smirk danced on your lips.

 And then you locked your smoldering and seductive gaze with one of them who froze and stared back in awe like a deer caught in headlights as he watched as you strutted and sauntered into the place, your heels clicking on the tile and slowly slipped out of your light jacket to reveal your gold silk dress and made sure that every guy in the place with a pulse knew you were officially on the radar. You had an ability which you had perfected over your life, you called it the ‘Marylin Monroe effect’ because she had this gift that she could ‘turn on’ and she could transform from normal house wife to blonde bombshell right before anyone’s eyes and you had a similar gift and you were about to use it again. 

“What can I get you to drink Gorgeous?” The bartender John asked as he was grateful he was working tonight, and here he thought it was just going to be a normal week night with the same old regulars but low and behold, a brand new gem came walking in, you must have just come into town because you were a brand new face. Plus, you were clearly the hottest woman in the place, hell in the whole damn town and you were dressed to kill and obviously on the prowl and he was ready offer himself as your prey for the night. 

“What kind of whiskey do you have?” You asked as John began going through what he had, feeling a little embarrassed that they didn’t have a ton to choose from and what they did have, didn’t seem good enough for the goddess you were. 

“Give me some Jamie, that’s plenty good enough for me, on the rocks please.” You ordered.

“And you Sugar?” John asked Taylor. 

“Same.” Taylor agreed before John poured two very generous portions into glasses over ice and served them to you. 

“Thank you.” You thanked him.

“So I take it you’re a friend from out of town.” John hinted as he looked from Taylor to you. 

“That’s correct, I’m Zara Zahnochka Volchitsa Kingsley.” You introduced yourself, rolling your r’s and taking on a slightly Siberian accent with the roll of your own name off your tongue as you shook his hand. 

“John Wilks. Pleasure to meet you.” He shook it before it he took your hand and kissed it which got you to giggle bashfully before you pulled him towards you which caused him to lean as far over the bar as he could before you pulled a hundred dollar bill from your cleavage and slipped it into his hand. 

“Give me the lay of the land.” You purred as you twirled your finger subtly to gesture to the bar. 

“Uh, well, there’s…” He began as he listed off who was around the room, using the old ‘ 3 o’clock’ 6 o’clock’ method as you got the confirmation that all the guys at the table on the wall were the other pilots. 

“Could you do me a favor?” You requested. 

“Anything.” John offered.  

“Get me the darkest beer glass you have. Empty it so I can use it as a chaser cause I have a feeling every guy in this place is about to buy me a drink and I don’t want to get too drunk and when it gets full, get me a new one.” You proposed, your voice dropping to a low murmur so that only John and Taylor could hear you. 

“You got it.” John nodded in understanding as he got you the Milk of Dragon. Usually the beer is so dark and heavy it was black on it’s own but the glass was pitch black and you couldn’t tell except from picking it up if it had beer in it or not. 

“Are you ready to see a show?” You breathed to Taylor who nodded before you got the glass and pretended to take a long pull from it before you turned in your chair and Taylor watched as you seemed to turn something on inside you- up full blast like seeing a Hollywood star light up on the red carpet, it was like you were a beacon of light, but you were all fire and flames, burning so hot you could set the stool you sat on- on fire and every man in the place just became a moth and every man couldn’t help but be drawn to you and you were practically swarmed. 

"So what's your name Beautiful?" One guy asked. 

"Zara- Zahnochka Volchetsia- Kingsley." You introduced yourself, giving the same flourish to the name and putting extra emphasis on the middle portion of your “name” while quickly rolling through the real parts of it which they all ate up like candy. 

And instead of getting overwhelmed, you seemed pleased and basked in all the attention as you tried to give each guy in there just a few minutes of attention, remaining friendly and giving a little bit of your time to everyone so that no fights broke out for your attention, letting them spit game, each line greater than the last as your amused giggle filled the air and your smile lit up the dimly lit bar before the group of pilots came over and tried their luck and while their lines weren’t as clever as the others, you pretended to be the most affected before you offered your hand for them to lead you back to their table as you were sat down as the others grumped but watched on enviously as the group of pilots who weren’t all that handsome or all that impressive seemed to win your favor which didn’t make any sense to the rest of them maybe you just had a thing for younger guys. But you made your choice and they would respect it as Taylor sat next to you and just watched as the Zara she thought she knew was replaced by a full blown she-wolf. She didn’t know you had it in you but she knew why you were doing it and she had to respect the masterful way you were choosing to deal with the problem because no one else had the guts to do it this way. But it was genius.  

“So are all of you pilots?” You asked eagerly as you sat at the table, putting on your best doe eyes and making sure you sat in such a way that your cleavage was heaving with every breath as they all undressed you with their eyes. 

“Oh yeah, he flies…” Derek began to list off the different planes and you pretended to be impressed by it all as they ordered you drink after drink which was part of your plan, “chasing” it with your “beer” as you pretended to get tipsy, laughing at everything they said that was even slightly funny. 

“So what do you do? Other than look sexy as hell?” Evan asked. 

“Oh nothing much, just taking care of the estates and trust funds I’ve inherited when my grandparents died when I was younger, " You waived off and grinned when all their eyes practically got dollar signs in them and they were staring at you the way a hungry dog would look at a steak. Oh they would devour you the moment you let them. 

Perfect. 

“And I’m an LMT which stands for liscenced massage therapist, would you like a demonstration?” You purred. 

“Hell yeah, my body is yours to do as you wish.” Evan offered before you took his arm and started massaging it and giggled when he groaned and moaned in pleasure before you got a brilliant idea. 

“Well, as an LMT, I’m certified in using Vahva Kun, which all my body builder clients swear by and by using it, they build the biggest, most impressive muscles possible and it feels better than sex with the gods, would you like to try it?” You offered.

“Hell yeah,” they readily agreed as you went about using it on them as their moans and groans filled the small bar as you straddled their labs to get as close as possible to hit all these points in their bodies, leaving each of them feeling like a god themselves and the buzz they had already been feeling from the booze was amplified and they were feeling the most intense afterglow that did indeed surpass the afterglow after an orgasm as Taylor watched on curiously and only when you ordered another round of shots for the guys, this time of the 153, the strongest alcohol in the place, since you had massaged their necks and made sure to access their ‘sleeper mode’ muscles, then they took that last shot and promptly passed out and you used that to use their fingers tips to get into their phones and deleted the pictures they had taken of you in the compromising positions of their laps before you stood up and strode over to the bartender and slipped him another hundred dollar bill since by the time you were done, most of the other patrons had gone home for the night since it was past midnight and almost last call. 

“Thanks for looking out for me tonight, you may need to call a taxi or an uber for them. They obviously won’t be able to drive home.” You nodded over to the table before you strutted out of there with Taylor and while you weren’t drunk on alcohol, you were definitely drunk on power and the thrill of what you just did because letting your inner she wolf out to breathe and feed for the first time in forever and it felt amazing. 

“So what’s Vahva Kun?” Taylor asked as she drove you to her house. 

“Vahva Kun is short for Vahva Kun Olen Hiekko. It means ‘strong when I’m weak’. Body builders pay me a grand each to do that to them a week and a half before competitions to make every muscle in their bodies’ bulge. In massage there’s only a few ways of doing things, and that is- pain now- pleasure later or pleasure now- pain later and Vahva Kun is as intense as pleasure now pain later gets. The reason it’s so pleasurable now is I use the body’s tendon organs to “turn off” muscles from the nervous system, this gives the effect to the brain that the muscle has become completely relaxed which feels amazing in the moment. But when you turn a muscle off, especially prime movers or major primes, the muscles that are responsible for your major movements, that means they can’t work anymore because you just told them, via their tendon organs to go the fuck to sleep and go on a little vacation and they become completely unresponsive and they feel lighter than air at first. So while they’re out in la la land, and can’t hear a thing from your nervous system who’s screaming at them to move. So that leaves only the synergists and the little assistant muscles to try to do the job of the major primes which they are ill equipped and too weak to do but they try their best. So they end up bulging by the end of it because they have no other choice because your body needs to move. However another thing happens when you do Vahva Kun, the nervous system freaks out. Now we all know how ecstasy works, it floods your brain with endorphins and other feel good chemicals to the point of overwhelming it right? Well Vahva Kun does the same thing initially. So what you’re left with is a brain who can’t feel most of the muscles in their body and is overwhelmed with pleasure and it freaks out and how it does that is it suddenly feels that the pleasure is actually pain and that you’re being attacked but it only does the switch once you succumb to the pleasure and pass out and the switch happens during your first sleep cycle.” 

“So when they wake up tomorrow, they’re going to feel like they got hit by a mac truck and moving will be agony.” Taylor realised. 

“Oh yeah, and when you do Vahva Kun you’re supposed to drink at least two liters of water or preferably an electrolyte drink before you take your initial sleep because in turning off the major primes, they release all their tension and everything that was trapped by that tension in particular all the “toxins” and acids and things stored in the muscles and when you drink a diuretic, like coffee or even worse- alcohol, the toxins can be released from one spot of the muscle but simply move and spread within the muscle belly instead of getting flushed out into your lymph system which then delivers it to your liver and kidneys to be removed from your body. And once the switch happens, the brain then sends fibroblasts into all the major primes which is a heavy duty messenger to make sure it’s still there period and the fibroblasts are like little explosions of protein and collagen and other substances into the major primes. Well imagine what an explosion looks like now imagine that inside a striated muscles, the fibroblasts usually go any manner of either outright perpendicular or just plain not in the directions of the striations in the muscles. Which again, make the muscles bulge. It looks awesome when you’re done, but it feels like you were in the worst bar fight ever. And for first time receivers of Vahva Kun it can take up to a month for your body to fully recover and your body aches the whole time and it can take several hours after just to get all the new knots out of the muscles and usually body builders, the first few to several days after- they can’t hardly move, they have all these huge bulging muscles that look incredibly strong but are jack shit for strength and that’s why it’s called Vahva Kun- strong when I’m weak. It means they look strong but they are in reality, very weak.” You explained. 

“Vahva Kun was discovered by a prostitute, Jasmine Vahva, who was tired of being beat up by her clients and she found she could make a killing if she “massaged” them first using this technique, get them to pass out and steal them blind but then be gone before they could wake up and confront her. And she taught other sex workers this technique. But they only could ever do it to a client once and quickly word spread about the real “effects” of the massage and once the clients got wise to it it lost it’s “appeal.”, then the clients noticed that once they recovered, they physically looked amazing and so a few of them got into body building and then word spread and so you had the legitameate professionals going to Jasmine to learn this technique so that they could practice it on body builders which is a very lucrative discipline and her original friends who had been sex workers then got into the legitamate side of massage teaching Vahva Kun.” You revealed. 

“So you fucked them over without dropping your panties an inch.” Taylor laughed. 

“Yup, because those fuckers had the audacity to undercut Noah and put Noah and Sakura’s livelihood into jeopardy. A she wolf takes no prisoners when her den and pups are in danger. Even if she has to infiltrate another pack to do it.” You mused. 

“Hot damn girl.” Taylor praised as she high fived you.

The next morning Noah came down the stairs to find his mother already there making breakfast. 

“Good morning Mom.” Noah greeted sleepily as he shuffled over to the coffee pot before there was a knock and suddenly he was a million times more alert as he happily forgot all about the coffee to rush over to the door to open it. 

“Good morning.” Noah greeted you happily. 

“Good morning.” You greeted happily, sure that your dark circles under your eyes would scare the shit out of him but he didn’t seem to notice as he ushered you inside. 

“Good morning Nana,” You greeted warmly. 

“Good morning Zara.” Nana returned just as warmly. 

“How do you like your eggs?” She asked. 

“Over easy please if there’s toast.” You answered gratefully. 

“Did Sakura take it easy on you guys yesterday?” You inquired hopefully. 

“Yes, she didn’t wake up till 10, it was wonderful and you did such a fantastic job on the house, it was a really wonderful blessing.” Nana praised.

“Thank you, I did my best.” You nodded as you ducked your head. Appreciating the recognition. 

“I know you did, and it’s really appreciated, you have no idea.” Noah added with a proud smile that was making wish you could ask him to try to show it but with his mother there, that wouldn’t have been appropriate. 

“Go get ready Dear while I get breakfast finished.” Summer urged him and you saw the reluctant disappointment in his demeanor like a child who is told to go to bed when there was still company at the house and you could see he was about to argue but one look from her had his argument dying on his tongue before he begrudgingly pulled away and went back upstairs to hurry up and get ready as you got yourself a cup of coffee. 

“So, I thought for sure that you would have slept in this morning from eating five men alive last night.” Nana noted once she heard the bathroom door shut upstairs and the shower turn on which made you choke on your coffee. 

“Uh, how…?” You nervously asked as you tried to clean yourself up. 

“The gods see all and only they could have revealed that to me. It takes a she-wolf with nerves of steel to do what you did, and to walk away without a scratch is a feat in itself. Don’t feel guilty about it, you ensured not just Noah and Sakura’s survival but the best chance for all of us to thrive too. But I need to tell you that you need to keep the she-wolf out today, embrace your Aura heritage, it won’t scare off Noah, it’ll surprise him but it won’t throw him off or intimidate him. Don’t lose your nerve or your courage. You’ll need it to make your mission complete. Use your bag and your magnificent mind and I’ll help you with your hair.” She advised you as she held your face in her aged but warm hands. 

“Ok,” you agreed, feeling relieved yet validated and empowered before she kissed your forehead before you left just as Noah got out of the bathroom as you raced upstairs since you would need the bathroom’s larger bathroom counter to get ready and Noah looking like a god with just a towel around his waist was a delight. 

“Everything ok?” Noah asked. 

“Yeah, just had a really good talk with your mom, I need to finish getting ready though. Do you mind?” You asked as you gestured to the bathroom. 

“Not at all, but we gotta get going in like an hour or so.” Noah answered, disappointed because here he thought he would have an hour or so with just staring at your beautiful face. Even without makeup you were gorgeous. You didn’t need makeup. 

“Plenty of time.” You reassured him before Sakura woke up to the sound of your voice. 

“Paradise?” She asked sleepily as she opened her door before she saw you and immediately went to you and hugged you tightly. 

“Good morning Sweetheart, did you sleep good?” You asked her. 

“The best, I had the coolest dreams!” She eagerly told you. 

“Well I have to get ready for the day, but I need your bathroom up here to do it, you want to tell me all about them while I get ready?” You proposed. 

“Yeah!” She agreed as she took your hand and led you into the bathroom before she shut the door, leaving Noah feeling a little jealous he couldn’t be in there too but he got dressed and let you have your time with Sakura as he went back downstairs. 

“What did you talk to Para-I mean, Zara about?” Noah asked his mom curiously. 

“I encouraged her to embrace all of herself with you, and not to be scared of showing you all of herself or fear it will intimidate you or put you off. Everyone always tries to put for their best faces and the best versions of themselves to people they like and are trying to impress.” Summer hinted with a scheming grin. 

“And for that she had to put on makeup?” Noah questioned as he cast a look in the direction of the bathroom when he heard Sakura and you laughing. 

“She’ll explain it to you better once she comes down. She has to show Sakura first and Sakura’s approval will give her heart and courage to show you and some reassurance that she has nothing to worry about will be all you need to give.” She insisted. 

“But for now, eat, be patient.” She urged him as she handed him a plate of food before she continued to cook breakfast as Noah begrudgingly ate and drank his coffee as his knee bounced impatiently as his mother joined him at the table as Noah racked his brain trying to think of what it could possibly be. 

“Stop, you’ll imagine it way worse than it is.” Nana lightly smacked his arm. 

“Look, the only thing I can think of is she’s used to be a stripper or something like that.” Noah blurted before he got another smack, this one much harder than the first.  

“I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, at this point it’s a bonus.” Noah conceded before he recoiled from the third smack, this one even harder than the last as he rubbed his arm. 

“You’re going to feel like an ass once she comes down the stairs.” Summer chastised before right on cue you came down the stairs looking like a proper goddess. A heavy shall was wrapped around your shoulders and you were wearing gold and purple highlighter on your cheeks as your complexion was made to look much more amethyst purple instead of peacock teal it usually looked and your eyeshadow was a brilliant gold and purple and your jewelry was authentic priestess of Aura jewelry. He was dumbstruck by how magnificent you looked. 

“May I introduce Zahnochka Volchitsa! A minor priestess of Aura!” Sakura proudly introduced you, her freshly brushed teeth gleaming as her fresh braids that you had put into her hair showed off her silken tresses. 

“And what a stunning one at that.” Summer praised as she had you sit down to breakfast next to Noah as she got up and took your hairbrush from your hand and your special headband and beads from your hands. 

“Wow,” Noah breathed. “So, what’s the special occasion?” Noah asked. 

“Well, your mother wisely advised me to embrace my “she-wolf” and “Aura heritage” today. When I was 15, my older brother Gavin started courting his wife Natasha who we call Tasha, she’s Siberian and her mother Olga, is a high priestess to Aura and serves at the Sinai Temple in the Great Lakes, and the moment she met me, she adopted me and gave me a new name. The name she gave me was ‘Zahnochka Volchitsa’ Volchitsa is Siberian for ‘she wolf’ and Zahnochka means ‘she will rise again’. And she has insisted I was her new daughter and forbade her own sons from dating me because that would be ‘incest’ even though at the time her 13 year old son Nicoli aka- Nikki- had the biggest crush on me, but he’s married with kids and we’re friends so now so it worked out. But anyway, she taught me how to have teeth and claws and how to take no bull-er-crap from anyone and how to be a strong independent woman with all the spice and sass of a viper and if any man dared cross me or even take advantage of me in any way- how to eat him alive like a proper shewolf, how protect ‘my den and pups’ and how to turn other people’s stupidity into my own benefit and she taught me how to give blessings, read palms and tea leaves and all that. But it’s an alter ego for me, like how Beyonce has Sasha Fierce, I have Zahnochka Volchitsa. I thought if your clients saw how you were flying around a minor priestess of Aura, the goddess of gold, luck and riches, they’d be willing to do just about anything, including renewing contracts with a pilot they tried to undercut for the chance to get a blessing.” You hinted with nervous grin.  

“You don’t have to…” Noah tried to argue even though he was incredibly touched and so impressed by it. This was ingenious. Although as much as he wanted a blessing, he also knew that priestesses could not bless family. And since he desperately wanted to be your family, he would be satisfied with your presence to be blessing enough. 

“Yes she does,” Summer immediately countered. “And we deeply appreciate it and Sakura and I will pray for your success.” She insisted as she continued to fix your hair appropriately, braiding the headband into your hair and securing it so that you looked like a proper priestess with the traditional hair arrangement and no sooner had you ate than Noah got the first call from a client as you got ready by putting the shawl on to complete the look.

“Be good for Nana ok?” You urged Sakura before you left, giving her a big hug.

“Will do.” Sakura reassured you before you kissed her all over her face which made her giggle with glee before she did the same to you before you let go and hugged Nana goodbye, giving her a kiss on the cheek before you left. 

“My new Mama is amazing.” Sakura fawned as she watched the two of you go from the window and get in Noah’s truck as she grinned to see her dad open your door for you like a proper gentleman. 

“Yes she is. Now, come on, we got some prayers to give.” She urged her granddaughter. 

Once in the plane, you settled into the copilot seat with your backpack securely between your legs. 

“How much does all that weigh anyway?” Noah asked curiously as he eyed the gaudy gold jewelry as he got settled in himself. 

“About a thousand pounds.” You laughed. “It’s all real and solid so it’s quite heavy.” You revealed. 

“Could you do me a favor though?” You asked hopefully. 

“Anything.” Noah immediately agreed. 

“Could you wear this gold charm at least for today?” You proposed as you pulled the large gold charm on a masculine chain out of your velvet blessing bag that had previously held all the jewelry wrapped in the shawl and a tea set for a proper priestess tea ceremony.  

“As long as you won’t give me a formal blessing with it,” Noah specified. “I know priestesses can’t formally bless family members but your presence is blessing enough for me.” He noted which melted your heart and made you want to kiss him. You were ready to offer him a proper place in your family. But perhaps he was referring to the way you were with Sakura and meant that endearment fairly innocently. 

“That’s correct, but they can give gifts, if you wear this, your clients will assume I’ve already blessed you and will want a blessing of their own, a first link in the chain.” You proposed. 

“Ok,” Noah agreed before you turned in your seat and put it over his neck and being so close, you could smell the soap he used in his shower and his aftershave and just him in general and your brain got hazy with lust. But you feared it would be inappropriate and settled for simply kissing his forehead and offering him an adoring smile which he mirrored as he glanced from your eyes to your lips before a message came on his receiver which pulled his attention away. 

“Yeah,” Noah answered. 

“Hey could you swing by Corporal? I have a load for you this morning.” One of his clients radioed in. 

“Sure thing, see you soon.” Noah agreed before he hung up. 

“It’s working already,” Noah laughed. “That guy hasn’t had me fly a load for him all year, must be a big one.” Noah revealed. 

“Then let’s do his first.” You suggested. 

“Ok,” Noah nodded before he turned the plane on and began to taxi it out of the hanger and towards the runway before taking off and you bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from squealing. Flying was so fun!

Once up in the air you put on your blood red lipstick with gold glitter gloss over it as you had Noah tell you about this particular client. Cranky old man type.

Perfect. 

He landed the plane several long moments later and once taxied over to the loading area, you knew it was show time as you unbuckled your seatbelt and left the plane and grinned when an older gentleman practically came rushing up to you. 

“Noah! Why didn’t you tell me you were flying around a priestess of Aura today?” Mick chastised Noah. 

“Because most people are intimidated by priestesses. And since Noah has already lost so much already, I couldn’t chance him losing anymore, especially upon my account.” You easily answered for him. 

“Of course,” Mick ducked his head as his cheeks blushed. 

“This is Zara Zahnochka Volchitsa Kingsley. This is Mick Mullins.” Noah introduced. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” You extended your hand and smiled serenely when he kissed it and pressed his forehead to your knuckles as he bowed respectfully. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He greeted back. 

“Would you have time to take tea with me?” You asked Mick hopefully. 

“Of course, of course, right this way.” He ushered you to the control tower where there was a lounge with a coffee maker and an electric tea kettle which he quickly dumped bottled water into it to boil before he has you sit in his chair, in his office since it’s one of the most comfortable chairs in the place as you pull out your tea set and your trio of teas, each tin a work of art before you laid them out before him and ceremoniously took the top off of each one and sniffed each one before you offered for him to do the same before he sniffed each one. 

“Which one do you prefer?” You asked as he looked between them. 

“This one.” He specified as you nodded and smiled serenely at his choice before the kettle beeped and he immediately got up like a shot to retrieve it and brought it back just as you finished scooping the tea into the little teapot before he handed you the kettle before you poured in the right amount of water. 

“So, Mr. Mullins.” 

“Please call me Mick - Priestess.” He urged you.

“Thank you for having tea with me. And thank you many times over for doing business with Noah. That man has suffered so much loss recently. That loss has touched me very deeply. And to hear how his regular clients have taken their business elsewhere has disturbed me greatly and they will only reap disaster and misfortune for doing so, the gods told me through the leaves under no uncertain terms. Grabbing selfish hands today make it impossible to accept blessings, even if the gods are more than ready and willing to give an overabundance of them. Someone with closed fists cannot be handed anything. Even one closed fist can impede the other open one, since they cancel each other out. Even when what the gods will to give them is greater than what they already have in their hands. It doesn’t matter what their hands are physically if mentally, emotionally, figuratively and especially spiritually, since all of those are interwoven- if their figurative hands are closed, there is no blessing for them. Only a malediction. If that pattern persists, I feel I must intervene further, as I have contacts at the military bases and my more financially blessed clients may have a need for a private pilot for their jets and things and they will be more than happy to make sure Noah is paid handsomely, enough to make a move there worth his while many times over and they will be immeasurably blessed for doing so in Noah’s sake.” You proposed as you as you set up your tea ceremony as you glanced up at Mick who looked particularly embarrassed like you just pulled his pants down and exposed him. 

“But I don’t feel that will happen to you, because you are being generous and using the deserving and there is no one more deserving than Noah and you will be blessed for it. I can tell, it is written in the lines on your face and on the veins on the back of your hands.” You reassured him which had light returning to his eyes and a smile spread on his face before you poured the tea. 

“Well then let me reassure you that I would be more than happy to help Noah in any way I can.” Mick swore. 

“Please do not use pretty words in the face of a priestess just to gain momentary favor, do not say anything unless you mean the words with all truth and that you have cemented plans and will put those words into action.” You gently warned with a look of sorrow. 

“No I swear on my life and the lives of my family, what I say is in all truth and I will absolutely follow through, I will use no one but Noah for the rest of the season and for every season after this till the end of my days and I will pay him very well for it, so that he and his family may be kept in safety and security.” Mick swore solemnly. 

“Your words please me and the gods, may you feel peace and happiness and enjoy nothing but success with the fulfillment of this vow. May I give you a gift?” You proposed. 

“I will accept anything you wish to give me.” Mick answered earnestly. 

“I will read the tea leaves for you and wish to give you a charm.” You proposed. 

“I would be honored.” He agreed before you pulled out the reading plate and swished the remaining tea in the pot around before you poured the remains onto the center of the plate and watched as the tea leaves flowed out into the plate as the both of you watched to see where the tea leaves fell on the plate before you used your extensive training to read them to him. Usually people paid quite a bit of money to have this done by Olga and people used the information as if it was doctrinal truth, above questioning or reproach and Mick seemed perfectly pleased and excited about what the tea leaves told on the plate.  

No sooner had you finished before both of your phones chimed, messages that the plane was already filled with the shipment. 

You took a few moments to rinse your plate off in the sink after both Mick and yourself took a picture of it and as you rinsing it, Mick was making sure to cut Noah’s check. Mick usually paid half upon arrival and loading and then the other half upon successful delivery. This time Mick would be doubling both payments and made a note to always do this in the future as he fingered the gold charm you had given him that he immediately put onto a gold chain around his neck before his own phone went off, suddenly he was getting payments and offers from new vendors as he felt elated as he quickly prayed for forgiveness for slighting Noah in the past by undercutting him before he rejoined you as you finished packing up everything so he could walk you back and hand his payment to Noah. 

“Oh and Mick, I should warn you. If you ever break your vow, the charm will tarnish and you will lose what you gained and even would have gained will immediately go to your competition. And once it’s lost, it can not be regained.” You warmed him solemnly. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it Priestess.” Mick reassured you as he walked you back over to the plane. 

“May safety, security and blessings be with you Priestess,” Mick offered you graciously. 

“And with you.” You answered before you nodded and turned to get back on the plane, giving Noah a meaningful look with a pleased smile before Mick happily handed over the folded check to Noah and an apology for not using him sooner but quickly set up a deal to use him at least every week and a reassurance that if Noah ever needed anything at all, to let Mick know. 

“Of course, well, uh, I better get going, you have my number, just let me know what you need.” Noah returned before he got back into the plane and got ready to go before he peeked at the check before he put it into his payment bag. 

“Well that went well, I would say he’s your new model client.” You smiled proudly. 

“How?” Noah asked curiously. 

“Manta Olga charges anywhere from 3 to ten thousand dollars for the kind of tea ceremony I just had with him and to get a tea reading with her is booked up anywhere from three to 9 months in advance because she is the high priestess at her temple. Minor priestesses and newbies like me usually make a tiny fraction of that. And honestly if all I’m out is a few scoops of my favorite tea, it’s worth it to me- to help ensure that you and Sakura especially will be ok and taken care of, long after I leave and can’t ensure it with my own hands.” You confessed as you fiddled with the fringe of your shawl because you suddenly didn’t have the strength to look at him. 

Meanwhile the words were trying to eat their way out of Noah’s mouth to assure you and reassure you that you would be more than welcome to try. That he would follow you to the ends of the earth to give you as many chances as you wanted and needed to try. But then his radio went nuts trying to receive multiple messages all at once. All of these clients begging for his help to fly loads as you prepared yourself to repeat this process over and over and over today, as many times as it would take to make sure that Noah would be the most popular and sought after pilot the Frozen Tundra ever saw and prayed that your endeavors would bring Noah untold and unimaginable success.

Word spread quickly that a ‘priestess of Aura’ was with Noah and that she was giving free tea readings in exchange for business with Noah and Noah was getting money hand over fist as his payment envelope was close to bursting again, much like your bladder half the time because this tea, while beautiful and delicious, ran through you but you were getting better with every reading, like riding a bike and it was all coming back to you with ease. Like this is what you did all day every day and you had a lot of fun too and Noah made three loops around the state and flew from the morning till well into the night and every time you took tea with all these clients, they were more than happy to feed you a snack too. Mostly prepared by their wives to feed you and Noah and Noah counted himself lucky enough to sit in on a few of them while he ate lunch and dinner and gratefully drank some tea with you, enjoying the tea quite a bit. 

On the final flight home, you finally got to take off the jewelry, your ears practically tears of joy that they weren’t weighed down anymore as your chest was much lighter without the necklace on it as you gradually took the beads and headbands out of your hair before you stretched your neck before you put it all away back into the blessing bag. 

“There you are.” Noah murmured appreciatively, happy to see Zahnochka receed and his Zara come back to the forefront which made you giggle. 

“Yup, here I am.” You answered before you got a makeup cloth out of your backpack and wiped off all the makeup and false lashes which were itching your eyelids. 

“Did you really have to put all that makeup on?” Noah asked as he saw a ton of purple come off. 

“Most priestesses of Aura are of Siberian and Eastern Europa descent where the indigo violet orcs and dark elves which are just about the same color-originated from. The closer I look physically to them, the more people believe my authenticity as one. My first tea reading didn’t go well because I didn’t look purple enough and the client thought they weren’t getting an authentic reading. Thanks to the wonders of makeup, once I was able to get my complexion purple enough, people stopped questioning my authenticity despite Olga vouching for me. Even now I’m listed under the priestesses of Aura website as a chastnyy, or private priestess. Which means I don’t “officially” serve at any one temple even though I am in the same order that Olga is in. It just makes it eaiser for me. Same thing with the accent, it just helps me play the part. It doesn’t make it any less real but there are theatrics that come with it.” You explained. 

“Well maybe I’m weird but I’d rather have Zara with me in this cockpit than Zahnochka any day. She’s cool and all but I just like you better.” Noah confessed. 

“Awww, thank you. Zahnochka is...I’ll be honest, she’s exhausting. She’s fun but tiresome after a while. But thank you for not getting annoyed or intimaded by her.” You confessed. 

“Nope, not at all. So what are you doing tomorrow?” Noah asked. 

“I don’t have any plans.” You answered. 

“Well I actually ran all the loads today that I was supposed to run tomorrow. So technically I have tomorrow off and I would really like to take you fishing if you’d be up for it.” Noah offered, remembering his mother’s advice. 

“YES!” You immediately agreed with a bright, nearly blinding smile. “I would love to.” You answered. 

“We could even take Sakura too, I think with your encouragement, she might get over her squamishness with worms.” He added and grinned when your whole being practically lit up at the very idea.  

“Perfect.” You beamed, feeling super excited for tomorrow.