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I made vegetarian cupcakes with cream cheese frosting from scratch, and while they were baking I made strawberry/cucumber water. Ignore my fridge as it isn’t as organized as I’d like it to be, haha.😅

Ollie taste tested one of them, and he was like “more cupcake!?” Lol ❤️ I love him so much! He’s been a handful, but he’s also been a heartfull. If he stubs his toe, he will come up to me and say “fix it?” And needs mommy to kiss it and the. he’ll say “all better.” He keeps saying “whaya doin mama?” MAMA!? Wha you doinnn?!” Or he will randomly walk up to me and say “hi mama, how are you today?” Or “That’s silly, mama.”

If I say “guess what,” where I’ve said it so many times, Oliver responds with “I love youuu” lol ❤️😊

I can’t believe he is almost three. 🥺

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“I miss you”

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I am enjoying living on my own (with my son) so far.

Less people to deal with.

No unexpected visitors.

I just need a couch and a washer/dryer and I’m pretty much good.

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😩I can’t decide what to do my bathroom in.

It’s tied between 🦖 , 🦈, and 💀 .

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I got an apartment! I just applied for it two weeks ago.

My anxiety is through the roof over the fact that I’ll be living by myself (well, with my son, so technically not alone) but I’m so nervous that I’m trying to not be, and I’m repressing the fact that I’m low key panicking, to the point that I’m lightheaded and my ears are ringing.

Adulting is fun.

I think my bf is trying to hide the fact that he’s mad at me over getting an apartment. He bought a house and wants me to move in. But we haven’t dated that long. And I just don’t think it’s a great idea.

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I looked away for two seconds while talking to my dad. 🤦‍♀️

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Finally organized my room and now we can watch movies on the projector :)

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I’m surprised my phone actually focused a little on the rainbow. :)

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I had a therapy appointment today, and on my way home, I was thinking how the world has been lately. I was thinking how I had not been to church in years, and that I really need to find a church to start going to. The love of my life went to church any time the doors were open. Not even a moment after I had that thought, I looked up and saw this cloud. (looks like a cross to me)

It surprised me, so I went to take a picture. Before I plugged up my phone to listen to some music on YouTube for the ride home, I had it on an oldies station. When I switched to the camera app, the radio came on, and it was on a Christian station. The song “Scars in Heaven” by Casting Crowns came on. I never heard that song before and hearing it for the first time made tears just roll down my face. I feel like some things I experience are just too much to be just a coincidence.

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Last night I fell asleep at 4, and woke up at 6, heart racing, from a nightmare I have had for the 5th or 6th time. I dreamt my ex broke in the house, and shoots me right in the face. I think I’ll feel safer once I move, which is thankfully soon. We got extra locks on the doors and windows, too. But still. Am I seriously going to have to deal with these nightmares for the rest of my life?

I wish things had gone differently. I do. I did love him at one point. And we made an amazing baby boy. But he started talking about really unsettling stuff that started to scare me. 😰

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