#job induced anxiety

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

I felt so much better today when I got off of work. I actually had the energy to cook. Not just throw something in the microwave or go through the drive-thru and pick something up but actually follow a recipe and cook.

Even if it was a simple recipe, I rarely have the energy to chop anything or prepare anything even the simplest dishes.

I'm not sure if it is the fact that we had in service today where we basically did paperwork and cleaned our rooms and of course didn't have any kids or if it is the new anti-anxiety medication I. 6 of one, half a dozen of another I guess( as the saying goes).

We had to stack all of our chairs and tables around the peripheral of the room leaving the middle completely empty so the janitors could clean. Normally I am utterly incapable of walking into the center of that room even with my cane. But today I actually made myself at least five times walk all the way across the room through the center and not along the walls. And then a few times I walked into the center of the room and just stood there as long as I can handle it.

Neither one of those things were possible last year at this time. I'm hoping this means that the meds are working better than the last ones.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

growing up with a perpetually anxious primary caregiver is such a mindfuck. that shit will rewire your nervous system

[uncanny-tranny]

Whether or not the adage that chronic stress is as bad as smoking is or true or not, hearing that and knowing that a huge stress factor is often one's continued financial, housing, and food security really should radicalize more people. The idea of stress being damaging to long and short-term health should make you stop and wonder what contributes to stress in the first place, and if preventative measures would inevitably be a net benefit to the overall health and wellbeing of everybody

[altruistic-meme]

sometimes when i see posts that are like "apply for jobs that you aren't qualified for!!" i roll my eyes and then i remember that that is literally why i have my current job and i smack myself

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Hi Im having anxiety about 1st day of new job may I take your screm into void literally for a minute okay thanks

*deep inhale*

AAAAAAAAAÀÀÁÂÃÃÄÅÆÆĀĂĄAAAAAAAAAAAÁÁÀÀÂÂÃÃÄÄAAAAAAAAAAÀÆĄĂĂÃÅĂĀĀAAAAAAAA

why yes of course! you may scream into my void for as long as you’d like lol

and I do sincerely hope the first day of your new job goes well!!!

[vigilskeep]

rlly enjoying playing a little brosca, idk if i’ll stick with her long but she tends to go for the dialogue options that i don’t usually pick so the dialogue feels a lot fresher which is a hugeee win when u have played the intro as many times as i have

[hauntedwoman]

i hate my job so much bc my boss made me quit my second job claiming that she needs me to have full availability so the store can stay open normal hours and now she's only scheduling me eight hours a week<3

[ace-and-ranty]

So I just recently quit a job.

It was relatively chill, with pretty good pay for the amount of work involved. But see, before that job, I've scheduled my own work hours for every job I've ever had. Since I worked mainly translation, well, clients don't care when you're sat down in front of the computer working, as long as they get things by deadline.

The fact that this job had specific working hours, during which I was expected to have my butt sat at the computer, was driving me insane.

It gave me the kind of low-level but constant anxiety that is the bane of my existence. It's the kind of anxiety where I cannot disconnect, I cannot relax, because I know in X hours I need to be at the job, and I hated it so much I, an extremely non-confrontational people pleaser, scrapped together the gumption to quit.

Why am I telling you all of this. You wonder. Well. Because for years now I have wondered, on and off, if maybe, perhaps, I'm like, a little bit autistic? I feel insane, in that I don't relate to a lot of the struggles autistic people often mention, but I feel just weird enough, just a-bit-to-the-left enough that I don't feel neurotypical, and I don't know what's going on there.

And well, one of the struggles I never connected to is "need for routine" because hum, no, actually, I've never really felt the need for a lot of routine. But oh? What's this? Now there's an expectation for how I gotta use my time, so my schedule is out of my control? And it's making me itch out of my fucking skin? How curious??

All to say, yeah, I don't know what's going on under the hood. But thank God for flexible working hours.

[stockholmgf]

:^(

[viina-art]

Autistic people who have a job: how

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Teacher Life Update April 2023

It takes months and sometimes yours for things to occur to me that I should have understood way before.

I am finally changing doctors which I needed to years ago but like any good autistic, change is a horrible thing and I'm only doing it because I'm pretty much forced to & I'm so fed up with the awful service I get from the doctor I've been going to for 6 years.

The new doctor is not entirely new to me, I have gone to her before and I am now kicking myself for not making her my primary care physician about 3 years ago when I had the chance. I won't be able to get an appointment with her until next month but I am already composing in my head what I am going to talk to her about.

And that's when it occurred to me that so much of what I go through on a daily basis with my mobility issues has nothing to do with my physicality, even though I am a lot weaker than I used to be. It is all due to the unbelievable amount of anxiety I feel every minute of every day.

I came to the previous doctor with this issue. I had plateaued out on Zoloft and asked him to be put on something else. He put me on a Paxil and initially it did okay but I knew he was starting me off on pretty much a baby dose and I needed a higher dose. When I asked for that higher dose he put me right back on Zoloft which was pretty much like just giving me a placebo.

Add that added to the amount of stress I'm under everyday teaching the covid generation and it is like I exist in a state of anxiety that is so elevated, by the time I'm off work and go home I am completely deflated and can't do anything.

This means my house is a wreck and my husband thinks I'm some kind of lazy, awful wife who just doesn't want to take care of things. And I cannot make him understand it is not a matter of not wanting to it is a matter of being so physically drained because of the stress and anxiety that I cannot move.

Add to this the everyday stresslately of the death of my surrogate godmother, the death of my great nephew, having to try and file assault charges on one of my students (which did not work because I did not get to and I did not even get to get kick that student out of my class so that student is still there), and then all of that stress manifesting in kidney stones for which my doctor that I'm getting rid of forgot to call me in pain meds for 4 days for. Which was the last straw in causing me to get rid of him.

On top of all of that it is mid April, which is the anniversary of my sister's death, and the anniversary from last year of the single worst employee evaluation I ever had in my life.

I have spoken about this last year but if anyone is on here and is new here is what happened in a nutshell.

I had had the same principal for 5 years and I thought we had a very good relationship

. In the beginning I actually felt very close to her. I do not know what happened last year. Something changed. And she made my life a living hell the entire year. She said she had an open door policy but when I came to her and took advantage of it she completely dismissed anything I had to say and worse after I had told her everything I needed to and was crying, she looked at me very coldly and said" Mrs. _____, do you feel better now !?"in a voice that said I had completely wasted her time and my own.

Because I refused to spend any more time than I had to working with someone out of my apartment who screamed at me and was hateful to me every time we were engaged, I was told I was being a baby and unprofessional.

I was told I had not grown any in 6 years. I was told I was too stupid to go back and teach in the English Department even though when I was in The English Department for 3 years we had the highest test scores we had since.

Even though we had gone through several teachers in the social studies Department that year and I was the one who stayed and did all the work, I was told that she did not tell people thank you for things like that. It was not her leadership style to tell people thank you. Her version of letting you know how thankful she was for you was giving you a donut once every quarter and cooking for you once a year. And this was literally word for word.

This came totally out of left field because the entire year every single walkthrough, and every single observation I had gotten by the two asst pribcipals was unbelievably positive.

I had the mother of all panic attacks after that---- or actually during but as soon as I got out of her room I just completely broke down and could not even walk over to my room I just kind of froze.

The head of this bed Department saw me I knew immediately something was wrong, came and walked me over to my room because I just could not move an inch.

that's what my panic attacks are, it's not fight or flight for me it is always freeze or pass out.

I left that room never wanting to teach again, not in our district or any other,. If I hadn't been on medication I would have thought very seriously of killing myself.

It has been one year and because of that I am still completely terrified of that woman even though she is no longer my principal but has been moved to a higher position as assistant superintendent.

And this is going to be TMI but I just want to demonstrate how scared I am of her. It is so bad that even though I have minor incontinence problems, if I see her in the hallway when I have it off. I would rather urinate on myself then have to pass her in the hall to get to the bathroom.

I have had nightmares about her for the last year including last night. I had a dream that even though I was so sick I was in the hospital she forced me into a wheelchair and made me come to work anyway.

I have only had to be in the same room with her one time since that encounter and that was for a parent conference that she set in on without me being told in advance that she was going to be there. And I literally thought I was going to pass out during it. After she left I could not get up or leave my room for the next 30 minutes I just sat in place shaking.

This year we have a new principal but he is a little mouse of a man who has no Authority whatsoever and pretty much answers to her, I'm assuming. I don't think he makes any big decisions on his own. And he will be evaluating me or he already has I'm just waiting to find out what he thinks.

So I am just waiting to find out if I'm going to be taking into a room with another person and mentally and emotionally annihilated and tortured for an hour like I was last year.

I have to give myself a lot of credit for going through this all the time.

I'm really hoping that this new doctor will get my medication right so that I don't have to do this next year.

[therosevest]

actually starting to paralyze me with anxiety that i just have to be employed forever. obviously i don’t feel great being unemployed rn either

[oceaneyesinla]

my weekly check in with my manager made me feel like deep fried assholes

BUT i am home in my own bed so i can sulk about it for the rest of the day under my big duvet and i can do things to cheer myself up ✌🏻

[vaya-mernda]

I want to quit my fucking job.

[chitaquagirl]

feeling dire

[clockworkbibliophile]

accepted a job in october under the assumption it was remote bc it said it was. flash forward to now and it’s no longer remote and my manager is on my ass about not owning a car too. it’s crazy bc I really did think my financial situation was finally improving, I finally have health insurance, and I was this close to moving to my dream state of california. and now im days away from being fired. if I don’t quit first. the situation with my manager has become so dire that the only thing I can focus on is my job anxiety. I swear i’ve nearly had a heart attack every day since last week. the anxiety over when she’ll fire me or when she’ll find out I don’t live in the location the job is and how this job could’ve been ok if it weren’t for the fact they lied about the remoteness and how desperately afraid I am of her firing me is all consuming. I haven’t eaten in 2 days. I have isolated myself from everyone I love bc I can’t think, can’t focus on anything but how soul crushing and visceral the anxiety is, how it’s eating away at my stomach and my brain and my soul and I don’t know what to do