#jesus this is LONG

[lizardtheartist]

A continuation of that one baby Sam and Max comic I did! (It’s really long I know, I hope that’s okay)

Tw: Misgendering/misnaming? Not entirely sure-

Comic continues after cut

(Yes I’m aware that Max’s old name is the same name that genderbent Max has, but her old name is Maxwell, so it all works out)

(Also yes, Max’s mom is named Megan now)

[lover-of-mine]

could you please tell us more about why you think chris would freak out? 😊

Okay, I have been thinking this since 4x08 with Chris freaking out about the idea of Eddie dating in general. But the bottom line is, Chris has a delicious shade of abandonment issues. Eddie wasn't there when he was a baby, Shannon left, and then she died, his grandparents were as constant in his life as his mother and now he only sees them every once in a while, Isabel was constant in LA but she's back in Texas now, you can even make an argument that he felt left by Buck during the lawsuit, because while I do think Eddie was hiding behind Chris to say he missed Buck, Chris was attached enough to Buck to feel the fact that Buck suddenly disappeared a for a while (I like to believe Buck showed up at the house with a pile of legos and a bear like the one they won before the tsunami after, but, well, from a kid's perspective as month is a year, it might've been enough to create something there anyway), especially with everything that had happened to Christopher that year, Shannon dying, the tsunami, Chris worrying about Eddie's state of mind, Chris was at the barbecue and we have no idea what he saw or didn't see about Buck throwing up blood, so he had enough traumatic experiences in quick succession to do something to his brain before he was even 10. We also have a layer to play with if the show decides to go there, but the long-term effects of lockdown on a child were a lot more intense than in someone with a fully developed brain because their lives shut down and they didn't have the tools to deal with it and a child needs the interaction with other people and they were not getting that, and if adults struggled with it, imagine how a 10 yo with a first responder parent who couldn't stay with him felt, ykwim? We see that manifesting in season 4, Chris is scared that dating means leaving, he thinks that Eddie bringing someone into their lives just means someone else who will leave him. And we saw at the beginning of the season that he still believes that to be true. He has that moment of it's okay to play around because it doesn't matter if they love you, they will leave anyway. Chris most likely doesn't remember most of life in Texas with Shannon, and even when he's old enough to understand the circumstances around Shannon leaving, it will still have scarred him forever. And that kid has lived through one parent dying, the other in a hospital when he wasn't allowed to visit due to covid, and a constant safe adult he literally saw in a hospital bed. It doesn't matter if the show ever states Buck in a parental position for Chris before he becomes "stepdad Buck", Buck is one of the two safe adults Chris runs to in a crisis, exemplified by the way even though he's being raised by two first responders, his instinct when Eddie had his breakdown was not to call 911, it was to call Buck. We have enough to speculate that yes, Chris sees Buck as a parent in some degree, but we do know for a fact that Buck is an adult Chris trusts.

So, we have Chris with the mother of all abandonment issues of the show, which is saying something considering who he's up against, we have Eddie and Buck being the two constants when it comes to adults, and just the general concept of safety that he has had in the past few years, so Eddie and Buck are the two people Chris is scared the most to lose, Eddie for obvious reasons, and we see that reflected with Buck with him forcing Eddie and Carla to let him visit him so he can beg Buck to come back. But Chris is also watching both Eddie and Buck FUMBLE through romantic relationships. Like, they are BAD at romantic relationships, and, like, even Taylor was brought into Chris' life and then vanished, I'm not saying he got particularly attached to Taylor, but she was in his house, she lived with Buck, for an 11 yo that's as serious as it's gonna get, and then that ended too. So what Chris is picking up here is that romantic love means people leaving. Like, that was literally the conclusion he reached on his own when it came to dating. He understands that Shannon loved them and that there was love between Eddie and Shannon, but he only thought about the way she left that love. We also have everything about Marisol. Everything about her is about babysitting Chris, so he has a decent relationship with her, and she was moving in. I doubt that Chris didn't know that, but that's another development that got canceled and we know Marisol is not here to stay, so yet another relationship Eddie completely fumbled.

So take all that and put it next to the idea of Eddie and Buck becoming a couple. We know buddie is endgame. We outsiders with all the information watching as all-seeing gods waiting for them to just get their shit together know that when they get together, there's no separating them, that's it. Chris doesn't know that. He knows he loves Eddie. He knows he loves Buck. He knows none of them ever managed to make a romantic relationship work. And he thinks that romantic love means leaving. So Eddie and Buck dating means losing Buck. The only conclusion Chris is gonna reach here is "Buck is gonna leave" so he's gonna freak out. He's a teenager. Half of being that age is feeling things too intensely and the other half is reacting as intensely. He reacted like that to the idea of Ana and it wasn't even about someone he knew yet. Chris having The Tamtrun about Eddie dating someone he loves makes perfect sense. Because Chris doesn't know what a successful relationship looks like, sure, there are his grandparents, but he's not around them enough, and even then his grandfather travels a lot for work anyway so what would he have seen when he was kid, and a kid learns love from their parents. Eddie and Shannon were a disaster from Chris pov. They loved each other but she still left, so what does it take for a relationship to work? Because isn't it the thing we teach kids with fairytales and stuff? That love conquers it all? But he understands enough to know that's not true. Chris may know Buck and Eddie love each other in some degree, the same way he knows he loves Buck, and the same way he knows Buck loves him, but the instinct there would be to fight the change in their relationship because he doesn't want Buck to leave. If everyone Eddie or Buck dated disappeared from his life, what's stopping Buck from leaving him if they break up? Most likely scenario is that he would get big mad at Buck because the change in the dynamic will trigger his abandonment issues, and he's 13, so he's not gonna be rational about it. And that would create some interesting tension in the way that when Chris is mad at his parents, he opens up to Buck, if he's mad at Eddie and Buck, who is he gonna open up to? This is absolutely the type of thing that would make their dynamic stronger in the long run, but it would take a minute for Chris to get to the point where he's ready to talk about the fact that he's scared of the change, it would even take him a minute to probably get to that conclusion himself, because again, the horrors of being 13 are real. Chris himself might struggle to figure out why does the idea make him mad. And Buck and Eddie can't reassure him if they don't know what's wrong. They can't promise they won't break up either. So how do they navigate that?

Because Chris is the priority, they would never do anything that would hurt Chris intentionally, but I also think they would be like "I don't want to break up because he's mad" because that would be proving Chris' fear that they won't stay together right. And I kinda think this is the only route they can go with Chris' reaction because this isn't some "my divorced parents are getting back together" situation, Chris has no reason to hope for Buck and Eddie to get together, so I don't see how he would've already processed that. Sure, if they had gotten together when Chris was 10, he probably would've been a lot more chill about it, but Chris as a teenager? He's gonna freak out. That's literally the only logical conclusion here. And considering the beginning of the season, and the way he was handling dating, AND the way he opened up about it to Buck, all the pieces for that to happen are on the table. Buck has a relationship with Chris outside of Eddie, and obviously, Buck and Eddie are, yk, *motions vaguely* but actually getting Buck and Eddie together would add tension to the existing dynamic between the 3 of them. And it is a way to add conflict to buddie without adding the idea that they don't love each other or don't know how to handle the switch or might not be good at being a couple, because navigating this situation would just prove how solid they are. It's all there. The question is if they are gonna go for it or not.

[winterrain-11]

The Master-Compilation of my Good Omens Headcanons

i wrote so many of these from 2022-now and shared them on tiktok, but since it’s getting banned in the states, i thought i’d share them here :) organizing them by category as well so i hope you enjoy!!!

Historical

Aziraphale loved Billie Holiday. He dragged Crowley to nyc to see her first performance in Carnegie hall in 1949. He saw her again in every one of her European shows and saw the live recording of strange fruit in 1959, dragging Crowley along and he cried.

Crowley learned classical piano in the Victorian era and to this day is very good at it. Aziraphale does not know this but would be so enamored if he did

Crowley and Mary Shelley were good friends - Aziraphale is convinced that they were lovers in Shelley’s polyamory with her husband, they were not

Aziraphale was extremely close with Hans Christian Anderson. Aziraphale did not understand why he felt so empty inside listening to Hans talking about how unrequited loves ((denial queen)). they met in 1835 and wrote to each other nearly every day for 40 years until Anderson’s death. they talked in depth about their deep loneliness and their feelings as outcasts, along with their confusing feelings about love. aziraphale still has a draft of ‘the little mermaid’ in his desk that hans asked him to look over. it is heavily tearstained. when Hans died he didn’t talk to anyone for several years.

Crowley started the Victorian craze of watching trains crash/explode

When Crowley first saw the pictures taken from the hubble telescope in the 90’s, he cried for hours. It was the first time he got to see his creation in over 6,000 years and it was just as beautiful as he remembered

Crowley convinced Tchaikovsky to use actual canons in 1812 overture because of a snide comment Aziraphale made about the symphony being too boring for Crowley

Crowley took Aziraphale to the opening of Jesus Christ Superstar in 1972 to get a rise out of the angel but fell in love with comedic musical theatre instead, quickly befriending writer Jim Sharman. crowley was part of the ensemble in the first productions of The Rocky Horror Show in the early 70’s as a personal favor to Jim. crowley nearly fainted when he saw Freddie Mercury in the audience during a performance and is still to this day resentful of Tim Curry for being the one who Freddie took an interest to on the cast

Crowley and Aziraphale were both personal friends of Princess Di. neither of them know this about each other and blame each other’s head offices for her death

Aziraphale volunteered as a field nurse across europe for the entirety of WW1

Aziraphale got his ears pierced in 1327 BC Egypt and wore them on and off until the 15th century. he was excited when they came back into fashion in the 70’s and he enjoys to wear small golden studs to this day

Crowley tried to pick up guitar - specifically electric - several times throughout the 20th century. he was never any good

both Crowley and Aziraphale bought up several properties to turn into speakeasies during the american prohibition, but Crowley took credit for all of them for their head offices’ sakes. Crowley tended to host spaces for people of color and queer folks to be themselves freely and Aziraphale integrated traditionally white spaces with jazz music, opening the stage for many queer and poc musicians to become mainstream.

Crowley was the one to suggest they play Billie Holiday’s ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’ for the mars opportunity rover when it died; he was heavily involved in the mission (he’s involved in most nasa missions) and loved oppie so much. this was Azi’s favorite Billie song — he doesn’t know that crowley knows this and Crowley didn’t realize for many decades that that was why he chose that song.

Aziraphale popularized pembroke welsh corgis throughout the UK and New England and was the one to introduce the breed to the late Queen Elizabeth II in the 1930s, personally meeting every one of the royal corgis until the queen’s death. lets be real — corgis are THE Azi dog.

Crowley set up a quaker house during the underground railroad in northern Pennsylvania that was operational for the majority of the mid nineteenth century. Crowley averted hell’s questions by using his time there ‘tempting’ the slave catchers (which consisted of severely inconveniencing them in every way possible and many very sadistic pranks)

Aziraphale presented female for a few decades in the 18th century and absolutely adored the fashion in England. She eventually stopped only because she would not stop getting random marriage proposals from men who thought she was fabulously wealthy (Azi “I HAVE standards” Fell fr)

Crowley was ACTIVE in the American hippie movement in the 60’s and 70’s. He already had so much to do in America at that time (red scare, space race, Nixon in general, etc) that he stayed among the people in hippie communes for several years. This developed his music taste quite a bit as well (and promoted The 70’s Mustache) (can I hear a wahoo)

Aziraphale became close with Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky after watching his production of “Sleeping Beauty” in 1890. He was the one who encouraged him to continue writing “The Nutcracker” even after he expressed how much he despised the score. Aziraphale still has an original score of Grand Pas De Deux. They were close friends until Tchaikovsky’s death (clearly my hc azi has a pattern of befriending tragic historically gay men who have severe depression)

Crowley was SUPER pissed when they found out arsenic was poisonous. she absolutely wore (and SLAYED) those Victorian deathtrap arsenic dresses. I like to think that she really hopped on the arsenic green trend.

Crowley had a CRUSH on James Dean (bc of course he did. they’re both bisexual disasters with tragic love lives) Aziraphale once told Crowley that he reminded him of James Dean and he has been riding that high ever since.

Modern-Day

Aziraphale does the crossword every morning in the paper, he’s horrible at the sudoku so he asks for crowley’s help. Crowley realized he loved logic puzzles and now Az just saves them for crowley, eventually Crowley convinced Az to play the nyt games.

For the wordle, Crowley starts with whatever word comes to mind everyday (thinks it’s funny to use ‘penis’, Az starts with ‘adieu’. They race, Crowley usually wins and Az is so angry abt this but won’t show it

Crowley invented decaf coffee and gained accolades in hell for it bc of how many people hated it/accidentally ordered it but in reality he invented it for Aziraphale who liked the taste but didn’t like how jittery caffeine made him

Aziraphale mispronounces a lot of words he learned solely by reading, Crowley never lets this go and still bullies him for how he pronounced epitome the first time

Aziraphale does read alouds at local libraries for children once every month to help fund children’s literature.

Aziraphale enjoys pressing leaves and drying flowers. he has dozens of bouquets from crowley over the years that he hangs along his bookshelves

Aziraphale adores the Charlie Brown comics and films. he has followed the Vince Guaraldi Trio since the late 50’s and watches the respective holiday films every year.

Aziraphale and Crowley enjoy watching ancient history documentaries so they can yell at the tv and debunk their facts. aziraphale once sent a drunken email to national geographic about their misrepresentation of 12th century nordics. they did not respond

Crowley occasionally guest lectures for astrophysics courses at the university of edinburgh

Aziraphale always goes all out for christmas— a ten foot tree decorated with tinsel and garland and shining ornaments and bells, the bookshop’s shelves and doors covered in laurels and mistletoe and lights. he hands out gingerbread and cocoa to his patrons, he brings gift baskets to neighboring shops, and he starts playing christmas music on november first and picks each gift he gives with several months worth of preparation and deep love and care. he is the embodiment of the christmas spirit.

Aziraphale is actually a big sports fan and can get rather invested in and riled up over matches. He’s surprisingly most into rugby but he refuses to watch it in pubs because of how overly rowdy humans can be

Crowley actually likes the ‘Sound of Music’, more specifically the first half. he always gets teary-eyes during ‘Something Good’; it makes him think of Aziraphale

Aziraphale always tries to find the harmonies or countermelody in the songs he listens to. he has a wonderful singing voice but uses it sparingly

Crowley has very rough and calloused hands — not from any work he’s done, they’re simply just like that. these are must in contrast to Aziraphale’s hands

Aziraphale runs warm, Crowley runs cold (obvi, he’s a reptile). they are constantly battling over the AC. Aziraphale can literally not function if the heat in the house is over 20°c/68°f, he will sweat like a madman (meanwhile, Crowley will be in fuzzy socks, a jacket, and have a blanket wrapped around him if it’s below 23°c/71°f).

Crowley cannot keep succulents alive no matter what he does. they are supposedly the easiest plants to keep and he is so good with leafy plants, but no — they always die. after he killed his fourth string of pearls he got so angry that he caused a several hour power outage throughout westminster.

Aziraphale is fantastic at poker and is completely unreadable. this is extremely attractive to Crowley

after armageddon’t, Crowley worked closely with NASA to launch the James Webb Space Telescope. he wanted humanity to be able to take in as much as the cosmos as it was designed to be seen before heaven and hell create another apocalypse. every time new images are released, Aziraphale makes them tea and him and Crowley look at them together. crowley goes on long tangents about each image; about their creation and how they function in god’s great universe.

crowley makes an effort to leave tins of free pads and tampons in any public women’s restroom he finds himself near. after presenting as a woman for several decades throughout his time, he assumed it was the least he could do.

Aziraphale loves to take photographs. he has a dark room in the back of the bookshop, but once he found out he could take quality photos on his mobile phone he has gone feral.he will stop Crowley every few minutes on walks to take pictures of flowers and other wildlife. he also loves taking candid pictures of crowley (he doesn’t know about this)

Aziraphale loves podcasts. he listens to the BBC global news podcast every morning and usually listens to audiobooks or informational podcasts on his afternoon walks.

both aziraphale and crowley are ambidextrous. I like to think that most demons are left handed and angels right handed, and az and crowley slowly adopted the other over time.

Aziraphale writes horribly sappy poetry in the margins of his diary. like corny Martin k Blackwood style (tma fans sound off) and is more terrified about Crowley finding these than he is the explicitly romantic diary entries

Aziraphale is surprisingly a beer guy — Crowley is not. Azi is a big fan of darker/amber brews, but Crowley thinks they all taste like utter dog-piss and has said he would rather drink a glass of straight cheap vodka (he did do this once to prove his point and got violently ill; too busy throwing up the entire night to miracle it away. Azi held his hair)

Crowley is horrible at smoking — nearly coughs up a lung every drag of even the smoothest cigarette. he is so angry about this because he thinks people smoking is very attractive and wants to be like that himself. he carries a pack around with him and holds them in his teeth ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ style

Though angels are better known for their lack of dancing skills, Crowley is a horrible dancer. they usually avoided dancing with one another (even for The Arrangement) to keep attention away from them, but after the apocalypse they began to find how much they loved slowdancing with one another. it took Crowley several decades to not step on Azi’s toes every time but eventually they got into a rhythm and slow dance nearly ever evening with one another and hold each other very close when doing so.

Aziraphale enjoys Queen (and a lot of modern music) even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He’s rather fond of A Night at the Opera and A Day at the Races, but surprisingly enjoys a lot of songs off of Hot Space (he will NEVER admit this to Crowley)

Aziraphale LOVES jigsaw puzzles. He always has at least one going in the bookshop and Crowley helps work on them when he’s drunk (he does not really help at all — he gets three pieces together before he gets a headache)

When Crowley is sad, his go-to album is The Wall by Pink Floyd. I also think that this is one of his number one albums of all time — the music is intricate, soulful, heart-wrenching… what’s not not love ((from a Pink Floyd supremacist))

Besides the obvious Queen, Crowley loves Pink Floyd, The Talking Heads, Bowie, The Smiths, and other bands in that realm. He loves songs with a lot going on— heavy percussion, intricate bass, soulful guitar solos, etc.

To compromise him and Aziraphale’s tastes, he usually puts on bands more in the realm of Phish, the Beatles, and The Grateful Dead for them both. It gives Aziraphale the melodic and harmonic qualities he adores but also gives Crowley the nostalgia of the late 20th century. (“Aziraphale would genuinely love The Velvet Underground and I’m still mad at Crowley for that” ~my roommate)

Crowley definitely HATES that Azi likes the Beatles. Crowley has personal experience with John Lennon and how much of a prick he was, but he feels bad telling azi abt how shitty most of the members were bc of how much he enjoys their music/ it’s one of the few bands they enjoy together (“my angel loves it, I can’t break his little heart. At least he doesn’t call this one bebop”)

Crowley is a flushed drunk. give him two shots and he’s red as a tomato and probably sweating up a storm. he’s also a sleepy drunk (while aziraphale is a touchy-drunk)

Crowley drives with one hand so that he can hold Aziraphale’s with the other (or, usually, just tries to muster up the courage). he still does it out of habit.

Crowley loves pulling out random facts that he knows, especially more natural/earth science things (facts about bugs, what kinds of clouds are in the sky, etc). he just likes to Tell Aziraphale Things. aziraphale usually knows all of these things, but he doesn’t tell this to crowley. (“oh really? that’s very interesting dear…”) it brings crowley great joy

Aziraphale has touch/sound sensory issues, Crowley has smell/taste/texture sensory issues (ex zira can barely LOOK at old sherpa or crushed velvet, panics when noises are a bit too loud, crowley can’t eat foods if they feel wrong, usually why he doesn’t eat)

Zira keeps plant propagations in his windowsills for crowley. after he left for heaven, Muriel learned to take care of them and started a small plant corner by the window. they have a very green thumb

Crowley gets really bad echolalia (repetition of words/noises he hears) and Aziraphale will sometimes scold him for mocking others/him but Crowley is insistent that he’s not trying to

when they laugh too hard, Crowley hisses (mixture of actual snake and windex bottle) and Aziraphale snorts. they both think it’s adorable.

Non-Ineffable Husbands

Muriel is terrified of ladybugs (even more so after Crowley convinced them that the yellow ones are poisonous and WILL kill you)

Muriel loves to paint and they are an extremely talented landscape artist. they learned the basics from watching old Bob Ross tapes

(Via my roommate and I thought it was funny) Warlock definitely grows up to listen to all of the male manipulator bands but Adam just listens to a lot of Weezer

Depressing

cws: major character death, animal death, disassociation, general canon-typical trauma, alcoholism

Crowley got a kitten in the late 40’s that he loved so much that he genuinely did not know what to do with the emotion. When it died of old age crowley was so crushed that he did not get out of bed for fifteen years and refused to ever get another pet bc he couldn’t handle losing one again

As an Archangel, Aziraphale can only see in shades of lilac (because of the eyes). this is the only think that keeps heaven bearable for him

Crowley road tripped across europe during the pandemic instead of sleeping. he slept for a few weeks before he woke up from a nightmare about aziraphale forcing holy water down his throat with a blank expression on his face. he hasn’t slept since.

before Crowley left the bookshop for good, he left a list of books and films that muriel would need to understand humanity. he wrote about Bob Ross along with Mister Rogers’ neighborhood and several books of poetry; Robert Frost, Ross Gay, so on. as angry as he was with heaven and Aziraphale, he wanted Muriel to keep seeing humanity as beautiful and kind, even if they were the only one to see it as truly that way.

Crowley doesn’t get intoxicated in public; he’s either alone or with Aziraphale. Last time he got properly sloshed around someone who wasn’t Azi was Elspeth. When he lets his guard down, he slips and he shows that he is kind and that scares him. When Aziraphale leaves for heaven, he drinks himself to blackout in a pub.

Crowley is extremely sensitive to light and is prone to intense headaches/migraine symptoms. This is partially due to the snake eyes but I also think it could be another punishment from God (stars/galaxies = light, light now hurts)

Crowley very often forgets to sober up before he passes out for the night and wakes up hungover. Aziraphale always leaves water on the coffee table (he usually passes out on the bookshop couch) for him. Though, Crowley uses hangovers for punishment. drinks to forget, feels like shit when he remembers (self destructive behaviors)

Stupid/Silly Ones

Crowley is TERRIFIED of birds that can talk. He thinks it’s unnatural and that they shouldn’t be able to think like that

Aziraphale wears those old timey red striped one piece swimsuits

When Crowley found out that talking into a fan made your voice funny, he was ECSTATIC and called az immediately. This was one of the first human things he taught Muriel about

Aziraphale googles like “hello google can you please show me funny cat videos. Thank you so much dear”

Crowley sneezes like a dad — like a sound-barrier breaking scream sneeze. It scares the shit out of Aziraphale every time

Aziraphale as a small but dedicated fanbase on youtube for an ASMR channel Maggie started him, which is just him doing softspoken readings of his favorite novels. he secretly loves the attention

Crowley is lowkey in love with Freddie Mercury. He has the almost comedic misfortune of just barely missing meeting/befriending throughout his career and he is beyond bitter about this. he is literally the number one Freddie fangirl.

Aziraphale LOVES HGTV. he watches it religiously and gets genuinely emotionally invested in the flips

Crowley did competitive cup stacking for a few years in the early 2000’s. I literally have no valid reason for thinking this but it feels right

Crowley came up with the Oak Island conspiracy. he religiously watches the curse of oak island on the History Channel solely to make fun of it and is almost mad about how many seasons it has at this point

Crowley has never once looked both ways crossing the street — he simply walks in the middle of traffic no crosswalk and is convinced he will never get hit. he still hasn’t been hit somehow. he isn’t miracling it, he just genuinely hasn’t been hit yet

I’ve seen this take before but I’m going to say it again: Crowley was 100% DB Cooper and I am so beyond passionate about this

Crowley recorded the original wilhelm scream and is so angry that it still used as a gag because he always hated the way his voice sounded

Aziraphale is one of those people who licks his thumb before he turns a page. Crowley HATES this

Crowley sleeps with a heated blanket because he can’t sleep in the cold (his cold-bloodedness makes it uncomfortable to sleep in anything but heat). he enjoys sleeping in snake-form quite often and will curl up completely under the heated blanket and just roast like a lizard on a rock under a heat lamp (I like to imagine he also owns a few heat lamps)

Aziraphale has definitely accidentally taken an edible at least once (and I like to believe that he has taken one on purpose on his own in the bookshop thinking it would make reading more interesting. It didn’t of course, it made it impossible, so he watched a film instead and had a lot of fun and considers doing it again)

Crowley wears only black because when he tries to dress himself in other colors he looked horrendously mismatched (his snake eyes would make him mostly colorblind). He always has Aziraphale double check the colors of the clothes he buys.

Aziraphale loves minion memes. It hurts me so much to admit but god dammit I know he would EAT them up.

Aziraphale loves black licorice. Crowley is legitimately extremely upset by this

Crowley crashes weddings in his spare time and “accidentally” spills red wine on anyone wearing white that isn’t the bride

I feel like Azi has a REALLY aggressive animal voice, like “oh wook at the widdle baby boy!!! What a good little baby boy!!!” And it’s like the oldest, meanest dog in the world

Crowley shows cat affection. Sometimes he’ll just bump his head against azi or start poking him. Azi will say something sweet and he’ll just stare with big eyes and then walk away

thank you all so much for reading :3

[ink-flavored]

HI IM HERE ITS GO TIME FOR SPACE CRUISE WIP LEGGOOOO!!!!!

📅🤔✊😎👾😲

it's TIME!!!!

since this wip is such a baby i'm going to be thinking about a lot of these things for the first time let's do it

📅 How far in the future is your WIP set? Is it a “near” or “distant” future?

It is quite a distant future! It takes place 400-ish years from our present day—we aren't quite ancient history, but it's long enough ago that people don't really consider the 21st century in their daily lives. You learn about it in school and then promptly forget it all

🤔What kind of technology is still being developed in your WIP? What’s something they’re still trying to figure out?

The brain is a fickle little meat sack, and there is no "true" mental hook-up microchip or anything like that. The things you can do to the outside of your body are very impressive, and medical technology has improved a lot of technologies that are inside your body for medical purposes (like pacemakers and stuff), but you can't send/receive text messages with your mind. yet!

✊What is the social climate of your setting? Has society progressed towards equality or regressed? Has it stayed mostly the same?

Progressed in some ways, languished in others.

Since the entire concept of Space Colonialism relies on the idea that planets are big blank slates waiting for Civilization to extract resources and set up tourist traps or whatever, there is still a lot of class disparity and plenty of wealth disparity. Countries and companies can send a "pre-colony" of laborers to terraform a planet and then essentially evict them from the place(s) they built to sell the land to permanent residents. None of the money from that sale touches the pockets of the people who built it, of course, and Space Wage Theft is rampant among these operations.

And of course since colonialism inherently needs to "other" anyone or anything that was already living in the place it colonizes, that also happens quite a bit. Especially when humanity made first contact with aliens who were doing their own space colonialism.

Also Space Cops exist. There are space cops who do predictable cop things. Also robocops (they're not sapient or anything, it's basically a surveillance camera roomba that can call for back-up) are wandering around at most, if not all, space stations, and even some spaceships if you're very important or rich.

Depending on how I structure the rest of the history on the Humans Get To Space Timeline, I will probably be able to add quite a few more to this unfortunate list, but now the good stuff.

Gender is DEAD, being gay is ALIVE, and polyamory is THRIVING!!! Obviously, this varies from planet to planet and country to country, but in the story I'll be telling, it is the case that all of these things are fine and accepted.

Gender first: HRT is so advanced that it can get you all the results in under a year, depending on the dose/method of delivery, and you can get it at any pharmacy. People can transition for a couple years, detransition just as easily, and then switch back! Whatever!

Surgeries are much easier to perform and produce more consistent results across the board, and we ARE at the stage where things like uterus transplants are a thing—either from another person or from a lab-grown organ. They aren't as "versatile" as HRT, in that you can't get your junk swapped in a single day and swap it back the next, but it's easier to customize the results.

Socially, the ease with which transition can occur means that people are more relaxed about the fact that it happens. Especially because it's so easy, it's kind of impossible to ever predict if someone you're talking to is trans unless they tell you (like in real life too but you get it), so everyone is encouraged to just roll with whatever presentation and pronoun combination they're handed by someone. Space bureaucracy means it can be kind of annoying to change your legal name, but there's no such thing as a "legal sex" or "legal gender" anymore, you put your pronouns on your ID instead.

Sexuality next: when people can bang aliens, being gay doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Whether or not banging aliens is in the cards for any given person, experimenting with whoever is normalized. If it turns you gay, people just go "yeah, that'll happen," and move on. Not having any particular label is unremarkable too, because when aliens are in the picture, it's just a lot easier to have a "case by case" sexuality. Humans who exclusively (or almost exclusively) bang other humans do tend to stick with human labels for sexuality for communication's sake.

Polyamory: What with all the experimentation with gender and sexuality, it would be foolish for relationships not to get their own turn in the lab. There are a lot of ways relationships just... work differently, when it comes to existing across the vast distance of space. If you travel a lot, if you're constantly going between the planet and the space station, if you split your life between two different planets, having an open or polyamorous relationship—or to never settle down for a long-term relationship at all—just makes sense for a lot of people. Monogamy still exists, but it's not considered the default state for all relationships ever.

Even with faster-than-light travel, trips through space can take a LONG time, and people can form a lot of really close relationships on those trips. When they inevitably have to leave the ship and go their separate ways, some people stay connected. It's more or less accepted that basically everyone has a "spaceship-ship", either exclusive to that trip or lasting far beyond it. This is foreshadowing for later.

Also, marriage isn't limited to two people anymore. Some people even have a partner on Planet 1 and another on Planet 2, and they're only married on those planets.

And again, when I have better fleshed out this world, I'll have more for the good stuff too.

😎Are there any famous (or infamous) planets known for a particular cultural or material export? What is it? Are the planet’s residents annoyed or proud of this notoriety?

Our protagonist Kavi comes from a Famous Planet (that doesn't have a name, I'm working on it), and they are personally extremely annoyed when it's the first thing people bring up.

Kavi's planet is known as the Pleasure Planet, it's where you go if you want a vacation on a tropical beach, perfect weather year-round, and sex. A lot of sex, from all the not just "legal" sex work, but privatized sex work with franchised brothels. It is the place you go to pay someone to match your freak, and while the population is mostly human, aliens live, visit, and work there too.

The particular area where this tourist hotbed is located is in a single city-state on the other side of the continent where Kavi was born and raised, but nobody really knows, cares, or would want to visit those other places (the ocean geysers can be deadly there), so they are resigned to sighing heavily every time they bring up where they're from. People also tend to assume that people from the Pleasure Planet are just as ready to put out as someone who's getting paid for it, which they also hate.

Outside of Kavi, it's a mixed bag. The people from the Pleasure City can be very proud of their culture's sexual freedom of expression, annoyed at the constant influx of tourists all over the place, or actively hostile toward not just the tourism, but the concept of the city itself. It's a lot less rosy than depicted on the outside, and the sex workers who actually have to serve tourist clients have some... grievances.

👾How many different kinds of aliens are there in your WIP? Describe them!

There will be more than one kind!! But I only have one to describe right now!!

One of the aliens that will be a main focus in this WIP is... a species that doesn't have a name yet, but they're basically crocodile people with neck frills that change color based on their feelings. Their planet has a dense oxygen atmosphere and a slightly lighter gravity than Earth, so they can get up to nine feet (that's 274cm) at the tallest, but tend to hover around 7-8ft (213-243cm) tall on average. They're cold-blooded like IRL reptiles, and don't wear much in the way of clothes because they have to bask (in the sun or under a lamp) regularly to function. They're also obligate carnivores, with like 70-80% of their diets being meat.

They tend to be long and rectangular in body shape, with comparatively short limbs considering how tall they are. They have HUGE TAILS FOR WHACKING!!!! And for swimming, they spend half-and-half of their lives in land and water basically right down the middle. They have the long snouts with lots of teeth, but also they have the single weakness of not being able to open their jaws if literally anything is holding it closed. Their rougher armored scales are on the back and the soft ones are on their bellies, and they can vary in color and pattern based on where they're from. Mostly greens, browns, blacks, and sandy yellows and oranges. Sometimes a splash of red if they're feeling spicy. They live in both fresh and saltwater climates, though the freshwater aliens can't automatically filter salt like the saltwater aliens do (they have the salt-filtering gland, but it's not "active." It can be activated, but it's nasty because they have to drink saltwater).

Their frill colors are a semi-voluntary expression of emotion. Like how humans can force a smile when they're pissed, these croc aliens can force a happy color when they're pissed. However, it is harder to hide, since usually their "true colors" will show for a bit, or start to creep in along the sides. Because their frills are, in a lot of cases, reflective of their True And Real Emotions, trying to hide them on purpose is considered untrustworthy. If an alien keeps their frills closed all or most of the time, other aliens will look at them funny, or consider them closed off and unfriendly.

I'm taking inspiration from a lot of different animals for this bit, but these aliens are capable of randomly transing their gender at any time. The main alien in this story, Zyg, was hatched female along with all of his sisters. As he started to grow up, though, biology randomly assigned him transgender to balance the population of his family, and he transitioned to male over several years—completely out of his control. This happens all the time, throughout the species.

Now, the most important part: what are their sex organs like? I'm glad you asked.

Like most reptiles, all their sex organs are internal and contained in a cloaca. Males have hemi-penes which basically means they have two dicks that drop down from internal sheathes during sex time, and females have two clitorises up there (hemi-clitoris. that's what I call it). They also have scent glands that secrete body oils when they're mating/aroused, both in the cloaca and on the sides of their jaw (real crocs also have these). They lay 5-12 eggs in a clutch, including when the eggs aren't fertilized. It's common to eat unfertilized eggs, it's not considered cannibalism, but it is bad luck to eat your own unfertilized eggs—people trade clutches sometimes. Even when the eggs are fertilized, though, the embryos don't always survive. Those eggs are not eaten, and are treated sort of like a miscarriage. These aliens can also be intersex but I haven't 100% figured out all that stuff yet

The other types of aliens are gonna include at least one other mammal species, and maybe something fish-related? Still deciding.

😲Are there any human customs that the aliens find strange, offensive, gross, or confusing? Which ones?

When it comes to crocodile aliens, they are super weirded out by species that don't swim all the time. Some of them are convinced humans can't swim at all, and many of them consider humans less civilized for this.

Also, the fact that humans have to... choose? To trans themselves? Just move to a new city. What do you mean, you can't just do it on your own? Why are you doing injections? What do you mean surgery????

On a similar note, these croc aliens also have a mating season, and their libidos basically go dormant when it's over. The fact that humans don't have one can lead them in one of two directions: humans exclusively have sex to reproduce and barely enjoy it (how sad), or humans are SEX CRAZED, ALL THE TIME (HORRIFYING).

Those are the funniest ones I can think of. They're not really customs, but whatever

[try out my sci-fi worldbuilding ask game]

[authormars]

Under the cut is another of my rambles :p

Not obey me related, but you're welcome to read it

There's something really interesting about being in high school because of how easily embarrassed it seems everyone else is.

For example, I have this "friend" who hates me for no disernable reason (my gf has asked her before and she didn't have a reason) is dead set on making me embarrassed of what I do.

Now, I don't hide the fact I write fanfiction from my friends. The phrase "I want to write fanfiction" comes out of my mouth regularly and, if asked, I'll gladly give out my user.

My friend, we'll call her N, has a need to make me embarrassed (she's the reason me and my gf had a few months where we didn't like each other until we talked it out)

N knows about my Ao3 and I have my lovely (kind of outdated for my au lmao) Where Crimson Meets Gold fic. And she is dead set on making me embarrassed of it, because it's a dark fic.

She's even had my other friend, Z, read it. And they are dead set on making me embarrassed that I wrote it and that I write that type of thing. They joke about it being cringe and things like that and I always have the same response.

It's public. It's attached to my name. I still love that fic, even if the story isn't accurate to my universe anymore. And I will never, ever be ashamed of the fandoms I was in.

I was a part of DSMP since the beginning of L'Manberg. I have a L'Manberg mask. I talked about not being able to find it and N said it was embarrassing I even had it and I said "What's so embarrassing about liking being part of a media you're in?"

I think it's interesting just how ashamed people are of their 2020 fandoms, of fanfiction, of experiences joy from something that isn't popular.

It's the same mentality for old things people have written/drawn. I have an old fic called "The Pog Island War" on Wattpad from 2021 that I loved writing. I will never be embarrassed of that fic. I will always love that fic. Is it old and poorly written? Hell yeah. But do I ever regret keeping it up? No! Because past me loved it and current me does to.

Never be ashamed of your old art. Never be embarrassed because your interests are "cringe." Love what you love. Create what you create. If it's bad, if it's good, whatever. Create and interact and love. It's what fandoms are all about

[saladtweezers]

IT TAKES A MAN and it took one. Part 8 - static au

As Adam and Evelin made their way through, they encountered the police station. They walked in as fast as they could to be greeted with Dave Lee. "Dave !" Shouted out Evelin, running to him. To their luck, Mr. Lee was alive and well.

He only greeted silently, sitting down on the floor. "I'm glad ya' found me. Thought I'd die alone !"

Adam looked around for stuff to ask to take, looking at Dave for approval.

"Anythin' new , Eve ?" Dave asked her, making sure she wasn't too stressed.

"We lost people ." She replied. "Mark is home with her sister hopefully, Jonah is. . Jonah's. ." Evelin couldn't speak without starting to sob. It was scary, not sleeping, barely eating, trying to recruit and get out of the city quickly. "Infected, I barely made it ." Dave intervened. Adam's ears perked up;" Anything new you may now ? Anything . Anything at all ." Speaking while comforting his acquaintance. "They're fast . Really damn fast . I was lucky it didn't bite down on me . Guns do barely anythin' , damn' things . . " Evelin sighed, joining in the conversation again. "Cesar found out about it the hard way ." Dave brought them to some cozy, boarded up space. Thatcher and Ruth were there. The latter was patching up Thatcher's right arm, that seemed to have a huge slice across it, due to a scrape while falling. They smiled at them both, Thatcher a little less though.

"Adam ." "Officer Davis ."

They all sat down, Dave bringing something to eat to the newcomers. "We're planning on leaving this locked city , kids . Hopefully . What's important is that we get as many healthy people out as possible . Once someone is infected , it's pretty much done , unless you plan on cutting off one of your limbs , mh ?" Ruth explained. Her tone was kind, gentle. She wanted everyone to be well, taking her job with care.

"Any news , Murray ? Your friend-in-crime is missing . Weren't there 3 others ? The siblings and that fancy dressed gu.. gir-. . person ?" Thatcher asked, looking at Adam through a non so welcoming glare. "Jonah is infected , Mark is sick and at home hopefully , Sarah is also hopefully fine , Cesar. . . is pretty much gone ." They discussed, planning escape plans, planning to call for help, but no signal was given. Thatcher suddenly chimed in. " Wouldn't M.A.D. worsen, then? " . . . Everyone remained silent.

[sentimentalslut]

So I've hit a bit of a dead end in my life where I have no idea what to do or what I want to do. Do you have any advice on how to try and figure it all out?

Also I love ur duncney fics you should be an author <3

listen, anon. i'm 26. as much as i am flattered that you think i have it figured out, i do not. i'm willing to bet i wont have it figured out in ten years or twenty or forty-five. the thing is, i'm fine with that.

so here's my advice:

honestly, just keep living. put one foot in front of the other. find things you enjoy for no other purpose than enjoyment.

you don't have to 'do' anything -- living is about experiences. not every one of them have to have a purpose.

most of being human is drifting around and wondering why youre here. none of us really have the answer. that's okay. that's normal. maybe you'll never figure out what you're meant to 'do'. and that's fine!

the thing that keeps me anchored in the sea of Being Alive All the Time, and the thing that keeps most people anchored, is passion.

step one of discovering your passion, whatever it is, is to allow yourself to discover it. pick up pointless new hobbies and let yourself put them down if you dont enjoy them. read new books. read wikipedia articles for things youve never heard of. go on long walks in new parts of your neighborhood. listen to a new podcast. watch a video essay about something stupid youve always been curious about.

make bad art. paint shitty pictures, draw shitty portraits, write shitty stories. let yourself be bad at things. let yourself be purposeless.

accept the fact that you are human and unsure about your place in the universe -- because those two things go hand in hand. this is the curse of sentience. embrace it.

[warwickroyals]

would anything have prevented james from dying, like stepping down as prince of danforth or family members being home? (weren't tatiana and the boys out on a trip when james died?) i know philip has the reputation of being the "troubled" one, but how long had james been suffering?

Yes, James's death was fully preventable and all that really needed to happen was for the "people upstairs" (aka Louis's team of sycophants that run Chester Palace) to stage an intervention for him to get some sort of mental care or have him hospitalized. Schuyler and James's team were on board with getting him help and trying to spin a narrative afterwards, however, Louis's coms team actively blocked this because they were worried that James's image would be damaged if the media found out he was in and out of a mental hospital.

They also convinced Louis that James was not actually "that bad" and Louis believed them. You have to understand, Louis's comms team is comprised of the people who originally saved his marriage and reputation after FarrahGate: he trusts these people with his life and he and Irene value their opinions like they are facts.

Another thing that prevented this was the fact that James was also insisting that he wasn't "that bad" which leads to another issue: James was very good at hiding his mental health problems and he never talked about it with anyone outside of maybe Tatiana and, oddly, enough Queen Katherine, his paternal grandmother. He was very different from Phillip, who often lashed out specifically because he wanted attention, James felt very embarrassed and was fearful of being "exposed" as some sort of fraud, so you can imagine getting him to actually open up would be hard.

I don't think James would have needed to step down. He wouldn't have wanted to because it would leave Nicholas, a minor, as heir (Ironic because that's what happened anyway, but I think in James's mind there was a difference between ending everything and giving up his birthright—what he was raised for—and still having a life afterwards).

I think he literally just needed a chance to get away, relax, get the treatment he needed for a year or maybe two, and divide his workload among other members of the family. He would also need to have his family change how they operate on an interpersonal level. At the time of his death, he was basically working non-stop and was involved in trying to fix several problems within the family and institution before they blew up into scandals (like Phillip and Courtney's marital issues, for example). It was too much stress added on top of a man who already had a history of depression from a family with a history of mental health problems. His depression also began to fuck up his relationship with Tatiana as well, so then there's that: It was like all the factors were stacked against him.

TW suicide below the cut

I think that James was probably struggling with depression for decades, but it worsened with age, especially when he began to realize that Louis was getting older and wouldn't be around forever.

Once it kind of "clicked" in James's mind that he wanted to die (this would have been in January 2017, around his 40th birthday) it was already too late. That was his point of no return. He became very peaceful between then and September, so much so that Tatiana mistakenly thought he was getting better. In reality, he was just feeling a sense of resolution while he was finalizing his will and leaving instructions for his funeral.

The family typically spends late June through to the end of August at Collingwood, the King's summer retreat. They leave Collingwood almost always on August 31 and resume public work just after Labour Day. James and his family own a cottage on the Collingwood Estate, you'll notice in posts set at Collingwood that there's the main castle looming in the background of the actual cottage where James would have lived.

On August 31, Tatiana and the boys returned to the city, but James claimed that he still had stuff to sort out at Collingwood. He promised his family he'd meet up with them in a day or two, and they honestly thought nothing of it since James is so meticulous that something like this wasn't out of character for him. This was James isolating himself from his family because: 1) he didn't want to traumatize them further or have them discover him after the fact and 2) he was ensuring no one could stop him.

Also note: that's the reason why Tatiana hangs out so much at Collingwood now that she's an empty nester: that's where she feels close to him. She also feels a lot of guilt for not insisting he stay close, which is sad since there's nothing Tatiana could have done to stop in the grand scheme:

Had Tatiana been able to stop him on September 1, he would have just waited until September 15, if someone stopped him on the 15th he'd have waited until October. So, I think it would have been instrumental for him to have gotten help before he reached that point something that, sadly, did not happen.

[boyish-angel]

I felt like I should make an about me post.

So here I am.

Hi! Call me Neon (colors not required. >vo)

I'm relatively new to Tumblr, I've been observing it from afar since around 2012 I think, but I never really got into it.

I probably won't be too active outside of random bursts of thoughts that I dump here, so don't expect much in terms of seriousness or commentary.

(MORE INFO BENEATH THE CUT)

I'm a self-taught artist and hobbyist fursuit-maker based in the Hell state that is Florida ( you can occassionally find my work on @blacklight-sunset )

My current favorite medias are Pokémon, Legend of Zelda, Omori, Neon Genesis Evangelion, 10Dance, and The Labyrinth.

I also enjoy anything related to herpetology or general biology (what I'm saying is: give me your cool animal/plant facts in my askbox. I will eat them UP!!!!)

I've got a lovely boyfriend of a month or so over 2½ years at the time of writing, it's very sweet but doesn't have a tumblr. It's my little blob of void. I tap its jar every few hours to make sure it's not imploding on itself and forming a wormhole between dimensions. Just boy things!

I'm hoping to study general biology in college and become a science teacher for middle-high school. I'd also like to have an art-related business on the side for summers, but we'll have to see where the road takes us.

So, uuuhhhh-

Ya!! That's everything I could think of off the top of my head!

Welcome to my little blog thing!

[jxstnn]

I just want sleep.

I just want someone that I feel safe with beside me so that I can fall asleep and be comforted by them when my head gets to be too much.

I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel so on edge all the time. I don't want this. I don't want my head to be like this but it is and I'm so fuckong tired.

[pacificwaternymph]

Did you guys know that Duke's tag on Ao3 only has 7,000 fics? Because I didn't.

[rusticfurnace]

GHOSTSOAP // "you sweet fucker" MINICOMIC!!!

[ace8space]

so. people have entertained the idea of gay jesus (religious trauma amiright?) .

but.

what about aroace jesus?

i feel like aroace jesus would cook

[iwasbored777]

Agent Stone with Doctor Robotnik be like

[sketchwretch]

@leathermouthproxies come collect your man

[potato-lord-but-not]

Potato I’m coming into your asks with my head in my hands but I have to ask: how the HELL do you draw people kissing, you’ve gotten it down in such a ‘satisfying’ way I need to know your secrets

okay this is probably going to be really incomprehensible but I am TRYING my BEST

first, we must implement the tilt method. you want your faces to be tilting in opposite directions as to make room for the kiss. the heads tend to make a heart shape if you’re normal and draw the heads completely (oops). And the lips create a zig zag type shape. the person tilting towards us (right figure) having their nose and top lip visible, and the person tilting away (left figure) has just their bottom lip and chin visible.

and you can use this for two people being close, just about to kiss. although you don’t have to tilt em as far since they have more leeway, but the principle is still there

you can play around with this tho, and I have a few different ways of drawing a kiss to portray different things-

1 is more puckered, a light playful kiss that may not last long

2 has the mouths create an O shape, giving an air of a breathy slightly desperate kiss. it gives the impression that the kiss isn’t the focus, these two are more focused on what their hands are doing, how close they are, soaking in the feeling of being intimate ect etc.

3 is wider, closer, there could be some tongue action going on. They miss eachother and they want to smash their faces together as humanly possible

You can also use these when only one person is giving the kiss !!

PHASE TWO REAL WORLD EXAMPLES because one thing that aids in a good kiss is the BODY LANGUAGE. it gives the kiss more life and feeling, the above examples even have some shoulder action to further the vibe. Anyway. Exhibit A

a subtle tilt, but that works in favor of creating a more relaxed feel. their kiss is a mix between 2 n 3, wide and open, messy and passionate. they’re definitely taking their time.

this one’s a body language one !! just the kiss alone has much less going for it compared to the way they’re tangled together. Ford (right) is more relaxed, more confident. And Arthur (left) is a bit more weary but letting Ford take the lead. Arthur has his lips puckered more, while Ford’s are more relaxed and a bit more open (although it’s very subtle)

This one is mainly kiss with body language as an aid. Arthur’s (right) head is tilted up instead of to the side, leaving Oscar (left) to pick whichever direction. The kiss is mainly 3, with a hint of 2 to communicate the more desperate and eager vibe. This is also paired with the subtle head tilt away from eachother and solid position they’re in. This creates a relaxed and content feel, like they started off hungry but ultimately don’t want to take it any further.

Subtle head tilt, a kiss between 1 n 2, and idle bodies make for a relaxed, domestic and intimate feeling. they’re sharing a kiss that was intended to be quick, but they lingered a few seconds too long and now they’ll stay there for a good 15 minutes. hands resting on the other, lips gently touching, words exchanged between moments of no contact.

GOD SORRY ANYWAY I spent way too long rambling about my podcast men kissing I hope this was insightful I’ll take my leave