#jesus this is LONG

[lizardtheartist]

A continuation of that one baby Sam and Max comic I did! (It’s really long I know, I hope that’s okay)

Tw: Misgendering/misnaming? Not entirely sure-

Comic continues after cut

(Yes I’m aware that Max’s old name is the same name that genderbent Max has, but her old name is Maxwell, so it all works out)

(Also yes, Max’s mom is named Megan now)

[lover-of-mine]

could you please tell us more about why you think chris would freak out? 😊

Okay, I have been thinking this since 4x08 with Chris freaking out about the idea of Eddie dating in general. But the bottom line is, Chris has a delicious shade of abandonment issues. Eddie wasn't there when he was a baby, Shannon left, and then she died, his grandparents were as constant in his life as his mother and now he only sees them every once in a while, Isabel was constant in LA but she's back in Texas now, you can even make an argument that he felt left by Buck during the lawsuit, because while I do think Eddie was hiding behind Chris to say he missed Buck, Chris was attached enough to Buck to feel the fact that Buck suddenly disappeared a for a while (I like to believe Buck showed up at the house with a pile of legos and a bear like the one they won before the tsunami after, but, well, from a kid's perspective as month is a year, it might've been enough to create something there anyway), especially with everything that had happened to Christopher that year, Shannon dying, the tsunami, Chris worrying about Eddie's state of mind, Chris was at the barbecue and we have no idea what he saw or didn't see about Buck throwing up blood, so he had enough traumatic experiences in quick succession to do something to his brain before he was even 10. We also have a layer to play with if the show decides to go there, but the long-term effects of lockdown on a child were a lot more intense than in someone with a fully developed brain because their lives shut down and they didn't have the tools to deal with it and a child needs the interaction with other people and they were not getting that, and if adults struggled with it, imagine how a 10 yo with a first responder parent who couldn't stay with him felt, ykwim? We see that manifesting in season 4, Chris is scared that dating means leaving, he thinks that Eddie bringing someone into their lives just means someone else who will leave him. And we saw at the beginning of the season that he still believes that to be true. He has that moment of it's okay to play around because it doesn't matter if they love you, they will leave anyway. Chris most likely doesn't remember most of life in Texas with Shannon, and even when he's old enough to understand the circumstances around Shannon leaving, it will still have scarred him forever. And that kid has lived through one parent dying, the other in a hospital when he wasn't allowed to visit due to covid, and a constant safe adult he literally saw in a hospital bed. It doesn't matter if the show ever states Buck in a parental position for Chris before he becomes "stepdad Buck", Buck is one of the two safe adults Chris runs to in a crisis, exemplified by the way even though he's being raised by two first responders, his instinct when Eddie had his breakdown was not to call 911, it was to call Buck. We have enough to speculate that yes, Chris sees Buck as a parent in some degree, but we do know for a fact that Buck is an adult Chris trusts.

So, we have Chris with the mother of all abandonment issues of the show, which is saying something considering who he's up against, we have Eddie and Buck being the two constants when it comes to adults, and just the general concept of safety that he has had in the past few years, so Eddie and Buck are the two people Chris is scared the most to lose, Eddie for obvious reasons, and we see that reflected with Buck with him forcing Eddie and Carla to let him visit him so he can beg Buck to come back. But Chris is also watching both Eddie and Buck FUMBLE through romantic relationships. Like, they are BAD at romantic relationships, and, like, even Taylor was brought into Chris' life and then vanished, I'm not saying he got particularly attached to Taylor, but she was in his house, she lived with Buck, for an 11 yo that's as serious as it's gonna get, and then that ended too. So what Chris is picking up here is that romantic love means people leaving. Like, that was literally the conclusion he reached on his own when it came to dating. He understands that Shannon loved them and that there was love between Eddie and Shannon, but he only thought about the way she left that love. We also have everything about Marisol. Everything about her is about babysitting Chris, so he has a decent relationship with her, and she was moving in. I doubt that Chris didn't know that, but that's another development that got canceled and we know Marisol is not here to stay, so yet another relationship Eddie completely fumbled.

So take all that and put it next to the idea of Eddie and Buck becoming a couple. We know buddie is endgame. We outsiders with all the information watching as all-seeing gods waiting for them to just get their shit together know that when they get together, there's no separating them, that's it. Chris doesn't know that. He knows he loves Eddie. He knows he loves Buck. He knows none of them ever managed to make a romantic relationship work. And he thinks that romantic love means leaving. So Eddie and Buck dating means losing Buck. The only conclusion Chris is gonna reach here is "Buck is gonna leave" so he's gonna freak out. He's a teenager. Half of being that age is feeling things too intensely and the other half is reacting as intensely. He reacted like that to the idea of Ana and it wasn't even about someone he knew yet. Chris having The Tamtrun about Eddie dating someone he loves makes perfect sense. Because Chris doesn't know what a successful relationship looks like, sure, there are his grandparents, but he's not around them enough, and even then his grandfather travels a lot for work anyway so what would he have seen when he was kid, and a kid learns love from their parents. Eddie and Shannon were a disaster from Chris pov. They loved each other but she still left, so what does it take for a relationship to work? Because isn't it the thing we teach kids with fairytales and stuff? That love conquers it all? But he understands enough to know that's not true. Chris may know Buck and Eddie love each other in some degree, the same way he knows he loves Buck, and the same way he knows Buck loves him, but the instinct there would be to fight the change in their relationship because he doesn't want Buck to leave. If everyone Eddie or Buck dated disappeared from his life, what's stopping Buck from leaving him if they break up? Most likely scenario is that he would get big mad at Buck because the change in the dynamic will trigger his abandonment issues, and he's 13, so he's not gonna be rational about it. And that would create some interesting tension in the way that when Chris is mad at his parents, he opens up to Buck, if he's mad at Eddie and Buck, who is he gonna open up to? This is absolutely the type of thing that would make their dynamic stronger in the long run, but it would take a minute for Chris to get to the point where he's ready to talk about the fact that he's scared of the change, it would even take him a minute to probably get to that conclusion himself, because again, the horrors of being 13 are real. Chris himself might struggle to figure out why does the idea make him mad. And Buck and Eddie can't reassure him if they don't know what's wrong. They can't promise they won't break up either. So how do they navigate that?

Because Chris is the priority, they would never do anything that would hurt Chris intentionally, but I also think they would be like "I don't want to break up because he's mad" because that would be proving Chris' fear that they won't stay together right. And I kinda think this is the only route they can go with Chris' reaction because this isn't some "my divorced parents are getting back together" situation, Chris has no reason to hope for Buck and Eddie to get together, so I don't see how he would've already processed that. Sure, if they had gotten together when Chris was 10, he probably would've been a lot more chill about it, but Chris as a teenager? He's gonna freak out. That's literally the only logical conclusion here. And considering the beginning of the season, and the way he was handling dating, AND the way he opened up about it to Buck, all the pieces for that to happen are on the table. Buck has a relationship with Chris outside of Eddie, and obviously, Buck and Eddie are, yk, *motions vaguely* but actually getting Buck and Eddie together would add tension to the existing dynamic between the 3 of them. And it is a way to add conflict to buddie without adding the idea that they don't love each other or don't know how to handle the switch or might not be good at being a couple, because navigating this situation would just prove how solid they are. It's all there. The question is if they are gonna go for it or not.

[authormars]

Under the cut is another of my rambles :p

Not obey me related, but you're welcome to read it

There's something really interesting about being in high school because of how easily embarrassed it seems everyone else is.

For example, I have this "friend" who hates me for no disernable reason (my gf has asked her before and she didn't have a reason) is dead set on making me embarrassed of what I do.

Now, I don't hide the fact I write fanfiction from my friends. The phrase "I want to write fanfiction" comes out of my mouth regularly and, if asked, I'll gladly give out my user.

My friend, we'll call her N, has a need to make me embarrassed (she's the reason me and my gf had a few months where we didn't like each other until we talked it out)

N knows about my Ao3 and I have my lovely (kind of outdated for my au lmao) Where Crimson Meets Gold fic. And she is dead set on making me embarrassed of it, because it's a dark fic.

She's even had my other friend, Z, read it. And they are dead set on making me embarrassed that I wrote it and that I write that type of thing. They joke about it being cringe and things like that and I always have the same response.

It's public. It's attached to my name. I still love that fic, even if the story isn't accurate to my universe anymore. And I will never, ever be ashamed of the fandoms I was in.

I was a part of DSMP since the beginning of L'Manberg. I have a L'Manberg mask. I talked about not being able to find it and N said it was embarrassing I even had it and I said "What's so embarrassing about liking being part of a media you're in?"

I think it's interesting just how ashamed people are of their 2020 fandoms, of fanfiction, of experiences joy from something that isn't popular.

It's the same mentality for old things people have written/drawn. I have an old fic called "The Pog Island War" on Wattpad from 2021 that I loved writing. I will never be embarrassed of that fic. I will always love that fic. Is it old and poorly written? Hell yeah. But do I ever regret keeping it up? No! Because past me loved it and current me does to.

Never be ashamed of your old art. Never be embarrassed because your interests are "cringe." Love what you love. Create what you create. If it's bad, if it's good, whatever. Create and interact and love. It's what fandoms are all about

[saladtweezers]

IT TAKES A MAN and it took one. Part 8 - static au

As Adam and Evelin made their way through, they encountered the police station. They walked in as fast as they could to be greeted with Dave Lee. "Dave !" Shouted out Evelin, running to him. To their luck, Mr. Lee was alive and well.

He only greeted silently, sitting down on the floor. "I'm glad ya' found me. Thought I'd die alone !"

Adam looked around for stuff to ask to take, looking at Dave for approval.

"Anythin' new , Eve ?" Dave asked her, making sure she wasn't too stressed.

"We lost people ." She replied. "Mark is home with her sister hopefully, Jonah is. . Jonah's. ." Evelin couldn't speak without starting to sob. It was scary, not sleeping, barely eating, trying to recruit and get out of the city quickly. "Infected, I barely made it ." Dave intervened. Adam's ears perked up;" Anything new you may now ? Anything . Anything at all ." Speaking while comforting his acquaintance. "They're fast . Really damn fast . I was lucky it didn't bite down on me . Guns do barely anythin' , damn' things . . " Evelin sighed, joining in the conversation again. "Cesar found out about it the hard way ." Dave brought them to some cozy, boarded up space. Thatcher and Ruth were there. The latter was patching up Thatcher's right arm, that seemed to have a huge slice across it, due to a scrape while falling. They smiled at them both, Thatcher a little less though.

"Adam ." "Officer Davis ."

They all sat down, Dave bringing something to eat to the newcomers. "We're planning on leaving this locked city , kids . Hopefully . What's important is that we get as many healthy people out as possible . Once someone is infected , it's pretty much done , unless you plan on cutting off one of your limbs , mh ?" Ruth explained. Her tone was kind, gentle. She wanted everyone to be well, taking her job with care.

"Any news , Murray ? Your friend-in-crime is missing . Weren't there 3 others ? The siblings and that fancy dressed gu.. gir-. . person ?" Thatcher asked, looking at Adam through a non so welcoming glare. "Jonah is infected , Mark is sick and at home hopefully , Sarah is also hopefully fine , Cesar. . . is pretty much gone ." They discussed, planning escape plans, planning to call for help, but no signal was given. Thatcher suddenly chimed in. " Wouldn't M.A.D. worsen, then? " . . . Everyone remained silent.

[astradrifting]

Hi! Were there any perspectives in the ASOIAF fandom that made your eyes roll? If there are, what made you say so? Thanks!

[mostly written in 2021, and posted very late. Sorry nonny!]

woof, this could open up a can of worms. I'm almost afraid this is a bait ask but I'm also very willing to run my mouth online about ASOIAF, and I love making fun of dumb theories, so let’s go!

Every time someone says that Jon and Dny are the song of ice and fire, my soul dies a little. Enough said.

I also hate the idea that parallels between ASOIAF history and the events of the books don’t matter. Not to state the obvious, but Westerosi history isn’t real. No part of it actually happened organically, GRRM has manufactured all of it, so everything must have been written with a purpose. I don’t buy that it’s just all world-building, because if parallels are obvious to us, they must be a thousand times more so for the man actually writing it all, and the army of editors who are probably helping him keep it straight.

There is absolutely no way that anything about Jonnel ‘One-Eye’ is a coincidence. Half-brother to Rickon Stark is obvious enough, but then we have his mother. Lynara sounds very similar to Lyanna (side note: a jonsa baby named Lynara would be adorable), but the real link is that she was born a Stark - all of the women on the family tree are listed under their maiden names. Her relation to her husband Cregan isn’t specified; it would have been so easy to have her be from another random house, or even a Karstark, yet what George wanted to convey is that Jonnel has a Stark mother, as well as a Stark father who happened to be heavily involved with the Targaryens.

Another fun thing linking Jonnel to Jon! Jon’s first relationship was with a red headed girl, who claimed that they were married because he’d stolen her. In the same conversation where she’s called half fish…

“You know nothing, Jon Snow. I’m half a fish, I’ll have you know.”

“Half fish, half goat, half horse…there’s too many halves to you, Ygritte.”

(ASOS, Jon V)

this conversation is already jonsa gospel as foreshadowing because of “half-fish”, but the horse part was always a little strange to me. As far as I remember, they didn’t have a prior conversation about her loving horses or riding particularly well, so that was seemingly out of left-field.

Well Jonnel’s second wife was a Ryswell - their sigil is a black horse’s head with a red mane.

pictured: the jonsa agenda winning again

The idea that Stannis will take Winterfell isn’t as personally annoying to me, all these dudebros have very detailed, tactics-based reasons to believe he’ll win I’m sure (something about a nightlamp?), but I just think it doesn’t do anything for the narrative, nor does it make sense with either his arc or Jon and Sansa’s.

Winning Winterfell will put Stannis in a position of strength, give him a base of operations in the North that’s not on loan from the Night’s Watch, and would probably lead to most of the Northern houses swearing allegiance to him, as Manderly has already promised to do. Why would a man in that position ever choose to burn his daughter, his only heir, alive? That is literally one of the few guaranteed book plots we have, so IMO speculation about Stannis all needs to work backwards from this end point; it’s ugly and horrible, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach reading it, but it’s the only ending to his arc that makes sense.

Kinslaying reoccurs time and time again in Stannis’ arc. Kinslaying for his own personal benefit, no less. In his first appearance in ACOK, he listens to Selyse suggest that he kill Renly, then stands by whilst Melisandre kills Maester Cressen, his surrogate father. Cressen raised him and loved him like a son; yet if he had killed Melisandre instead, Stannis would have lost the power she wields for his benefit, the main reason he has a chance at the throne. Later in the book, he implicitly allows his brother to be murdered so that he could gain the Stormlords that had rallied to Renly instead of him (anyone trying to argue that the shadow wasn’t technically Stannis so technically it wasn’t kinslaying will be put in the naughty corner for excessive pedantry). In ASOS, he’s willing to sacrifice his nephew, an innocent 12 year old under his guardianship. He says it’s for the realm, for duty, but really it’s for his destiny. What is the life of a bastard boy against a kingdom so close to his grasp?

It’s escalation. Each time so far he’s had a layer of deniability, but he’s not going to have that in the end. Ordering Shireen’s death himself, murdering his daughter in some desperate bid to secure victory over the Boltons, will be the final step off the cliff. Maybe he’ll have some military victories before that, smarter people than me have no doubt discussed the parallels to the Greek myth of Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter Iphigenia, but I have no doubt Stannis’ story is headed only towards tragedy.

….Turns out that I do have a lot of feelings about Stannis. But to get back to my original point, Jon and Sansa taking Winterfell back together, travelling through the North doing the work and proving themselves as worthy rulers, makes a lot more sense for their future roles in the story than Stannis winning it all for them. It’s also much more affecting and thematically resonant, so I refuse to believe D&D entirely made up that storyline.

I also inevitably end up rolling my eyes whenever I'm bored enough to go onto r/asoiaf, there's always a bad take right on the front page. One that annoyed me enough to go into @istumpysk’s inbox and kickstart my jonsa blogging was one asking what the point of R+L=J even is, because it never amounted to anything and just muddled up J/D being “the song of ice and fire”.

While it gets so close to the point that it’s funny, there’s no way the “song” is going to boil down to a relationship, let alone JD. I would almost buy Jon and Dænerys being the song of ice and fire if Jon actually were just Ned’s bastard, all ‘ice’. Hell, if he really wanted to make a relationship the song of ice and fire, he could have cut out the middleman and made Jon a trueborn Stark from the start - make them starcrossed lovers from warring families, truly ice and truly fire. Utterly boring, but thematically coherent at least. A major point of Jon’s character is that he is both - and something a lot messier than that besides, as a bastard.

It's not all bad on r/asoiaf though, when I went back to look for that post I saw another about how the Titan of Braavos is a Pacific Rim-style mech that will come to life to fight any dragons coming to the city, a theory that I will be championing from this moment henceforth.

Wait, nevermind, in that same thread someone said that Jaehaerys is the sexiest Targ name, so r/asoiaf is immediately cancelled again. That's another fandom perspective that makes me roll my eyes, the idea that Jaehaerys is in any way an acceptable name, especially as Jon's ‘secret’ name.

This 👏 is 👏 Targaryen 👏 propaganda 👏

Just look at it!! How do you even pronounce that? The hill I will most definitely die on is that this name is ugly.

[robbinggoodfellows]

rtc as the most long winded and insane conversation my friends have ever had:

Ocean: So anyways, this girl I babysit-

Constance: Oh, I didn’t know you were a babysitter!!

Ocean: Well not really anymore because the girl was so mean to me.

Noel: You got bullied by a child???

Ocean: I wasn’t getting bullied she was just being a little bit rude

Noel: Hey, Mischa!!! Ocean got bullied by a child!!!

Penny: Guys let’s not bully anyone. Let’s all be friends and hold hands and sing songs and- yeah I can’t keep this up anymore. Bully Ocean!!

Ocean: I DIDNT GET BULLIED!!!! I got made fun of by a ten year old theres a difference!!!

Noel: Is there?

Ricky: Yeah, what’s the difference there?

Constance: She doesn’t get paid when kids bully her.

Mischa: I get paid when I bully her.

Ocean: Mischa!

Mischa: What?? Noel gives me 5 dollars for every mean thing I say to you.

Ocean: Noel!!

Mischa: Not just Noel. Ricky and Penny pay me too!!

Noel: MISCHA. STOP TALKING.

Mischa: What…?

Ocean: Is there anyone in this group that loves me???

Constance: Maybe that girl you babysat secretly loved you but she was too scared to say it??

Ocean: Gee, thanks babe.

Penny: BABE????

Ricky: LESBIANS EXIST, PENNY.

Noel: No they don’t, pen. Don’t listen to him, lesbians are like the tooth fairy or santa claus. They’re just made up, don’t worry.

Mischa: SANTA ISNT REAL????

Ocean: Great, Noel look at what you did.

[sentimentalslut]

So I've hit a bit of a dead end in my life where I have no idea what to do or what I want to do. Do you have any advice on how to try and figure it all out?

Also I love ur duncney fics you should be an author <3

listen, anon. i'm 26. as much as i am flattered that you think i have it figured out, i do not. i'm willing to bet i wont have it figured out in ten years or twenty or forty-five. the thing is, i'm fine with that.

so here's my advice:

honestly, just keep living. put one foot in front of the other. find things you enjoy for no other purpose than enjoyment.

you don't have to 'do' anything -- living is about experiences. not every one of them have to have a purpose.

most of being human is drifting around and wondering why youre here. none of us really have the answer. that's okay. that's normal. maybe you'll never figure out what you're meant to 'do'. and that's fine!

the thing that keeps me anchored in the sea of Being Alive All the Time, and the thing that keeps most people anchored, is passion.

step one of discovering your passion, whatever it is, is to allow yourself to discover it. pick up pointless new hobbies and let yourself put them down if you dont enjoy them. read new books. read wikipedia articles for things youve never heard of. go on long walks in new parts of your neighborhood. listen to a new podcast. watch a video essay about something stupid youve always been curious about.

make bad art. paint shitty pictures, draw shitty portraits, write shitty stories. let yourself be bad at things. let yourself be purposeless.

accept the fact that you are human and unsure about your place in the universe -- because those two things go hand in hand. this is the curse of sentience. embrace it.

[warwickroyals]

would anything have prevented james from dying, like stepping down as prince of danforth or family members being home? (weren't tatiana and the boys out on a trip when james died?) i know philip has the reputation of being the "troubled" one, but how long had james been suffering?

Yes, James's death was fully preventable and all that really needed to happen was for the "people upstairs" (aka Louis's team of sycophants that run Chester Palace) to stage an intervention for him to get some sort of mental care or have him hospitalized. Schuyler and James's team were on board with getting him help and trying to spin a narrative afterwards, however, Louis's coms team actively blocked this because they were worried that James's image would be damaged if the media found out he was in and out of a mental hospital.

They also convinced Louis that James was not actually "that bad" and Louis believed them. You have to understand, Louis's comms team is comprised of the people who originally saved his marriage and reputation after FarrahGate: he trusts these people with his life and he and Irene value their opinions like they are facts.

Another thing that prevented this was the fact that James was also insisting that he wasn't "that bad" which leads to another issue: James was very good at hiding his mental health problems and he never talked about it with anyone outside of maybe Tatiana and, oddly, enough Queen Katherine, his paternal grandmother. He was very different from Phillip, who often lashed out specifically because he wanted attention, James felt very embarrassed and was fearful of being "exposed" as some sort of fraud, so you can imagine getting him to actually open up would be hard.

I don't think James would have needed to step down. He wouldn't have wanted to because it would leave Nicholas, a minor, as heir (Ironic because that's what happened anyway, but I think in James's mind there was a difference between ending everything and giving up his birthright—what he was raised for—and still having a life afterwards).

I think he literally just needed a chance to get away, relax, get the treatment he needed for a year or maybe two, and divide his workload among other members of the family. He would also need to have his family change how they operate on an interpersonal level. At the time of his death, he was basically working non-stop and was involved in trying to fix several problems within the family and institution before they blew up into scandals (like Phillip and Courtney's marital issues, for example). It was too much stress added on top of a man who already had a history of depression from a family with a history of mental health problems. His depression also began to fuck up his relationship with Tatiana as well, so then there's that: It was like all the factors were stacked against him.

TW suicide below the cut

I think that James was probably struggling with depression for decades, but it worsened with age, especially when he began to realize that Louis was getting older and wouldn't be around forever.

Once it kind of "clicked" in James's mind that he wanted to die (this would have been in January 2017, around his 40th birthday) it was already too late. That was his point of no return. He became very peaceful between then and September, so much so that Tatiana mistakenly thought he was getting better. In reality, he was just feeling a sense of resolution while he was finalizing his will and leaving instructions for his funeral.

The family typically spends late June through to the end of August at Collingwood, the King's summer retreat. They leave Collingwood almost always on August 31 and resume public work just after Labour Day. James and his family own a cottage on the Collingwood Estate, you'll notice in posts set at Collingwood that there's the main castle looming in the background of the actual cottage where James would have lived.

On August 31, Tatiana and the boys returned to the city, but James claimed that he still had stuff to sort out at Collingwood. He promised his family he'd meet up with them in a day or two, and they honestly thought nothing of it since James is so meticulous that something like this wasn't out of character for him. This was James isolating himself from his family because: 1) he didn't want to traumatize them further or have them discover him after the fact and 2) he was ensuring no one could stop him.

Also note: that's the reason why Tatiana hangs out so much at Collingwood now that she's an empty nester: that's where she feels close to him. She also feels a lot of guilt for not insisting he stay close, which is sad since there's nothing Tatiana could have done to stop in the grand scheme:

Had Tatiana been able to stop him on September 1, he would have just waited until September 15, if someone stopped him on the 15th he'd have waited until October. So, I think it would have been instrumental for him to have gotten help before he reached that point something that, sadly, did not happen.

[boyish-angel]

I felt like I should make an about me post.

So here I am.

Hi! Call me Neon (colors not required. >vo)

I'm relatively new to Tumblr, I've been observing it from afar since around 2012 I think, but I never really got into it.

I probably won't be too active outside of random bursts of thoughts that I dump here, so don't expect much in terms of seriousness or commentary.

(MORE INFO BENEATH THE CUT)

I'm a self-taught artist and hobbyist fursuit-maker based in the Hell state that is Florida ( you can occassionally find my work on @blacklight-sunset )

My current favorite medias are Pokémon, Legend of Zelda, Omori, Neon Genesis Evangelion, 10Dance, and The Labyrinth.

I also enjoy anything related to herpetology or general biology (what I'm saying is: give me your cool animal/plant facts in my askbox. I will eat them UP!!!!)

I've got a lovely boyfriend of a month or so over 2½ years at the time of writing, it's very sweet but doesn't have a tumblr. It's my little blob of void. I tap its jar every few hours to make sure it's not imploding on itself and forming a wormhole between dimensions. Just boy things!

I'm hoping to study general biology in college and become a science teacher for middle-high school. I'd also like to have an art-related business on the side for summers, but we'll have to see where the road takes us.

So, uuuhhhh-

Ya!! That's everything I could think of off the top of my head!

Welcome to my little blog thing!

[jxstnn]

I just want sleep.

I just want someone that I feel safe with beside me so that I can fall asleep and be comforted by them when my head gets to be too much.

I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel so on edge all the time. I don't want this. I don't want my head to be like this but it is and I'm so fuckong tired.

[pacificwaternymph]

Did you guys know that Duke's tag on Ao3 only has 7,000 fics? Because I didn't.

[rusticfurnace]

GHOSTSOAP // "you sweet fucker" MINICOMIC!!!

[sketchwretch]

@leathermouthproxies come collect your man

[ace8space]

so. people have entertained the idea of gay jesus (religious trauma amiright?) .

but.

what about aroace jesus?

i feel like aroace jesus would cook

[sphere-in-the-corner]

So I've finally come to terms that I will likely never roleplay again. I think I'm just tired of doing so, or I simply outgrew it. Idk. I just don't feel the same joy that I did way back when I first started. Either way, in order to congratulate myself for this discovery I felt like posting all of the characters I created. There will likely be some that I can't remember the names of and would be unable to find them, since the forums they were on have vanished. Or I would simply be too lazy to go look them up.

Tumblr

Let's start with the ones I created for this website.

Pokemon OC - Duke. An ex team rocket member and his team. Techinacally I didn't create him for rping on here, but I did try importing him over. I never really did anything, so that fell flat. I'll talk about him later when I get to the part where I first created him.

OC - Sadie. So this one was supposed to be more of an ask blog, back when those were popular. She was supposed to be an exiled alien princess. She was exiled because of her sadistic tendencies.

I never really got to do much with her because in search of images to reblog to build her character and what she'd like, it ended up becoming a porn blog. In which I learned quite a bit about myself.

Tentacl

Ever heard of Tentacl? Probably not. Am I misspelling the name? Maybe, but I think this is right. Anyways on to the characters.

OC - Name unknown. Yeah, I don't really remember much about this, other than the fact that it was a supernatural rp; not the show, the genre. I think they were either a vampire, ghost, or werewolf. While it was not my first time erping, it was the first time I actually tried. I believed it would help broaden my horizons. While I can't remember it, I'm sure it was cringe and I'm glad it is gone forever.

RP Nation

I believe this is the most famous rping sites out there, but I'm not a huge fan. Most of the rps require you to use CSS to make it look nice, but I really didn't care for it.

Star Wars OC - Name Unknown. He was created as a clone during the clone wars. He was a sniper, and much like Crosshair from Bad Batch, he had a mark around his eye. But this was before Bad Batch was a thing. The rp didn't go very far. I think the style the creator tried to force us to go with was just really not my style and everyone just stopped posting after they tried to force it.

There might have been other characters, but I can't remember them. They could have just been ideas instead of fully fleshed out. I really can't remember.

Google +

Yeah, you read that right. They had some rping going on over there. All these characters were from the same forum. It was a mish mash of OCs and established characters like the Doctor or Sentry. I much preferred creating my own characters rather than using someone else's.

OC - Eznho LastName. I don't know if I spelled the name correctly, I know there's an h in there somewhere, but oh well. He was a native american, back in the days of early colonization. He and his tribe were killed, except he came back to life. With this new immortality he went out and got revenge. Ladda ladda, years later, present time, he became a vagabond. Trying to hide who he was, because the government is evil. His immortality only works when he dies. His body heals itself to brand new, forgetting the sensations, except for his mind. And being experimented on for years left him scarred. He wasn't that fun to play with the other characters, but it wasn't too bad.

OC - Arsinoe LastName. This one was much more fun to use with the people there. She was an alien princess, or noble with an army of nanobots. So, her planet revolted against the ruling class and her side was losing poorly. One day she fell into a coma and came out with psychic powers which had disappeared from the gene pool years ago. They start winning some battles, but it's not enough. So they try to boost he powers by giving her nanobots. It works! Then the nanobots take over and destroy the world. Then she regains control over the nanobots, but now she's evil. She's a little psycho, but clear headed.

There night have been another one, if there was I never used them.

FanFiction

I think I might have spent the most time here rping. It was a lot of fun, and where I made the most memories. A lot of it cringe, but that's the best part.

Young Justice OC - Frank Gorbachev Gorbak AKA Dark Blade. Jesus, Dark Blade? Talk about an edgy teen, lol. So, I initially created him with the last name Gorbachev because at the time they had a tournament thing going separately from the main story. I wanted my character to go into the tournament and have the announcer say "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down the wall." With the wall obviously being his opponent. But I created him too late. His power, was that he was able to pull swords out from anything, but they all ended up being black, hence Dark Blade.

He was supposed to be this cool edgy character, but after interacting with the others, he ended up being a complete dork and doofus. I did not stick to his original personality whatsoever, and honestly disappointing. He became a stereotypical anime pervert.

However, due to some conflict with the owner of the forum and one her friends, the forum was nuked, but brought back. There, he changed a bit, like normal comic book characters. It was here where I changed his name. Made him less of a pervert and into a raging misogynist. Not what I was going for, but how it ended up. I changed how his powers work a little. Instead of a whole ass sword from like a paper, the sword had the attributes and thickness of the material he used.

This was also the forum that got me to start cursing. Before that, my mouth was clean. There is also a bunch of other stories with this forum, but that's for another day.

Dragon Age OC - Name Unknown. I started this one after I finished Dragon Age 2, which I really liked. And the people in the forum were from another one that I was in, so it really shouldn't have been that bad. Except only playing 2, I had no idea what they were talking about. It lasted for a short while before everyone just stopped.

Monster Hunter OC - E. Yeah, just a letter for a name. It was based off of my character in game. You can tell I'm great with names. He was brash and energetic. A bit of a dumbass for sure. The forum was fun and lasted for a while. I had him die at one point because I was bored of the forum, but I brought him back. I tired to change his personality as a way to spice things up, but I eventually dropped it as a whole.

Monster Hunter OC - Sebastien Ottobahn. He was fun to write. A hermit hunter who has the power to transform into a monster because the setting allowed it. He ended up killing his old party accidentally in a fit of rage, which is why he is a hermit. He hates himself for what he is, and blames that for why he killed his friends. There are others like him in the world, both natural and artificial, and he hates them all. After some conflict with the other characters he gets defeated. The forum ended before it finished. Like right at the end. So in order to give him a good ending I made a little story to wrap up his arc.

Monster Hunter OC - Ismene LastName. Another fun one. She has voices in her head. Much like Sebastien, same forum, she has a monster side, but hers is artificial. She was a member of the Dark Guild, who focused on ridding the world of monsters, using science! And much to her credit she is quite smart. However, she has the wisdom of a sack of rocks. Being a genius at a young age and being told no, meant she had to do it anyway. She created a mixture that would allow her to transform into a monster all by herself, without notes, when it took the other scientists years to do so. Buuut, she messed up. Now she has hundreds of different souls of monsters trying to take over her body which has slowly reduced her sanity. Only reason she keeps them in check is because the sould of the founder is keeping them at bay, hoping to take over.

She meets the protagonists as an enemy, is defeated easily and decides to join them for fun. No loyalty. She helps their side fight in the war, and the forum ends before we get to a conclusion. sad

Pokemon OC - Johnathan (or maybe another Sebastien). He was an old trainer who almost had title of champion. He gave it up because at the time he was sure he'd win easily and didn't want to be disappointed with a boring battle. After he'd travel the world helping young trainers on their journey, all the while looking like a lazy bum, cuz he sleeps all day, and only trains at night. I did not use him a lot. Having an OP character when everyone else are just beginners felt awkward.

Pokemon OC - Duke Mense. Finally got back to him. He's an ex-Rocket member, as they had been dissolved, and was looking to start his own team. In doing so he slipped into Plasma and worked as a spy trying to get info for his own. That's really all there was to him. He never really interacted with the other characters, due to him being a villain. But when I made him I felt much more attachement and wanted to do more and expand his history. Which is why I failed to start the one in the beginning. I could write a story, but I'm bad at writing and all that other stuff. I have made oneshots here and there with him and the others, but they're all garbage.

Pokemon OC - Name Unknown. This is actually two characters. They were brothers and gijinkas. One was a yanmega, and the other a sabelye. Once again, they were bad guys and left on the background and didn't get to do much. I'm great at creating characters that isolate themselves and wonder why I don't rp that much.

RWBY OC - Farren Sicks. I created him after watching hunter x hunter and a stick figure fight. I made his weapon a shield and his semblace the ability to create fog. No fairy tale for this guy, but his name does match a color. Farren for steel, which is gray; and Sicks, read as six, which in hexidecimal I believe all 6's would make a gray. I don't remember much, it didn't get very far, or I just dropped it.

Fiction Press

FF sister site and probably where I created the most characters and spent most of my rping time. Since these are all OC's I won't need to denote that.

Johnathan E. Zachfire. This was a zombie rp and probably the first one I tried out in earnest. He accidentlly killed a couple he was robbing and was sent to jail. He was there when the virus broke out, which helped him break out. He made it to a shelter, but it pretty much ended there. There was only two of us and the other guy disappeared.

Name Unknown (Lucifer). Another zombie rp, but with vampires. I don't remember his actual name, but had a split personality ala movie trope, who went by Lucifer. And since the main body was wet cardboard, the evil side was more fun to play. There was a good cast of characters and it was fun. eventually people dropped out and it died. That was a bit heartbreaking because I believe it was the first one I got real attached to. Looking back though, it was cringe. At least I was. I got so needlessly angry when a character criticized mine, in character. I took it as a personal attack. It was bad.

Names Unknown. This one was a historical rp. There were a few characters I created. One for the american revolution, another for another time period, and another for another. I don't really remember that much, but I do know it wasn't too bad. I eventually ended up dropping it.

Names Unknown. This was a supernatural rp. ther premise was that every angel demon, pagan god, what have you fought a giant war, died, and was reborn as humans with power. One character was a demon who had the ability to heat the surrounding area. Not himself, just the air around him. The other was the reincarnation of Tartarus and was a warden at a jail, real original. That didn't last long either, but was fun while it lasted.

Name Unknown. This was a spy rp. Or more accurately an assassin rp. My character had a temper and was almost not allowed to join the organization during his trial run, but was given another chance. He just had to kill someone else. In that mission, I felt like no matter what I did, or how much my character was prepared they were going to to lose. My character sneaks in, gets caught immediately because of some dumb bs, and things of the sort. I tried to play around it, but gave up and left. It went on for a while after I left and then it died,

Name Unknown. This one was a pirate rp. My character was an ex dread pirate whose crew mutinied. He ended up another pirates crew as a cook, planning on taking over. The owner wanted to wait for more people before starting, it never started.

Name Unknown. This was a fantasy rp. The setting was card themed. four kingdoms with spades, cloves, diamonds, and hearts. There was a forest in between them which was forbidden to enter because diplomacy. My character was thief from the poor kingdom, tried to steal from the richer one and was chased out. It felt like there could have been a romance to bloom between the poor bad guy and the good rich girl. It was fun, but died too soon.

Name Unknown. This was a fantasy rp. The setting, the world stopped rotating, and the world went dark. I don't believe we talked about the other side, but that didn't matter. In the darkness were monsters that ate humanity. and humans were stuck in small villages with lights surrounding because it kept the monsters out. My character was born out in the darkness and learned to get around. He is eventually found and brought to a village, but the light burns his eyes. The idea was interesting, but this too died quickly.

Name Unknown. this was a supernatural rp. I really don't remember anything about this one, other than the fact that my character was a vampire who experimented on himself. He made himself a lot heavier and moved his fangs to his throat. That way they came out like an eels.

Names unknown. This was a fantasy rp. the setting, time has frozen still. Those who are still able to move gained powers, but are being hunted down. My character was kidnapped and beaten just before the event. Then he gained teleportation and freed himself. Now he was afraid of people, but eventually teamed up with another person. Due to some miscommunication between me and the other player, we ended up fighting and both just stopped. The other character I played was the main villain. Some old guy from Ancient Egypt who stops time and grants power, only to steal it away to gain extra years of his life. Apparently the owner liked the way I played villains.

Name Unknown. This was a sci-fi rp. Setting wasn't very clear. My character was an ex alien slave who had the power transform his body for a few hours at a time. Somehow he learned that by eating people he can keep that form permanently. He starts a rebellion and frees his people. He then goes across the universe freeing other worlds from slavery. His cannibalism allows himself to extend his life by replacing body parts with the ones he's eaten. It doesn't need to make sense. His species however only lives up to 50 years, and he was like 150, so his mind was all there. When he meets the other characters it wasn't too bad. But like a dumb fucking idiot I thought "You know, I should give him a flaw to round him out a bit more. What could a person who frees slaves have as a flaw? Oh I know, I'll make him a pedo. Genius!" And then he starts simping for a little hours old baby! Like how dumb could I be to miss the huge flaw that is him being a fucking cannibal?! And then I tried to pass it off as normal? Like jesus christ bro, what were you thinking? Yeah, that rp didn't last much longer after that, and I don't blame them. If you were from there and end up reading this, I'm so sorry.

Misc.

These are for all the others that I have forgotten about or just don't fit neatly into the other categories.

I have 5 dnd characters. Whose names elude me, but they were a human paladin, a tabaxi rogue, a gnome sorcerer, a half-elf barbarian, and a hombrew creature druid. Because of scheduling these never did get anywhere.

DBZ OC - ???. Yeah that was his name. He was created on some dbz forum website. I got like one post in before I stopped. I had no idea what I was doing. He was also the first rp character I ever created.

If I remember anymore characters I'll update.

[reidsdimples]

Feverish

Spencer Reid x Reader

18+ ❤️‍🔥

Spencer can’t keep his hands off of you in his fever induced delirium.

Inspired by a scene from The Tearsmith (on Netflix)

“What happened?” You ask Morgan who’s got Spencer’s arm draped over his shoulder.

Spencer is out of it, delirious, coated in sweat. Yet he grins at you.

“Popped for the flu, probably from those kids earlier this week,” Morgan answers as he puts Spencer in the passenger seat of your car.

“I knew the flu shot was a waste of time,” Spencer muses. “It’s an educated guess at best as for what strain will circulate through the population,” he scoffs and shoves on sunglasses.

“Wonderful,” you groan.

“You’ve already been sick this season, you’re probably fine,” Spencer mumbles and lulls his head back in the seat.

“I think that’s why he said to call you,” Morgan smiles.

“Well, it’s great to see you again. Stay safe,” Morgan hugs you by way of farewell.

Taking care of your sick ex boyfriend on your long anticipated three day weekend was not high on your bucket list. But here you were.

You drop into the car next to him and he’s already fast asleep. Feeling his forehead, you confirm that he’s burning up.

You and Spencer had ended things amicably four weeks ago. Your crazy schedule as a labor and delivery nurse didn’t mesh well with his chaotic FBI job. It didn’t mean you didn’t care for him. Perhaps that made seeing him so sick that much harder.

“Come on,” you help him from the car and into your house.

He stumbles up the front steps but you’re able to hold him up.

“Sorry, dizzy,” he murmurs.

“It’s okay,” you place your hand at the center of his chest, pushing yourself under his arm further to support his tall frame. The heat coming off of him could almost burn you.

You had never been more grateful that you opted for a one floor house. You imagined getting him up a flight of stairs would be impossible.

“Here,” you sit him on the edge of your king sized bed but he just flops onto his side, tucking his face into your pillow. He breaths in deeply, you can hear how congested he is.

You hurry to your medicine cabinet to get him a concoction of fever reducers.

“Take this,” you sit him up.

He barely opens his eyes, just groggily obeys and trusts the pills you’re giving him. He knows you’d never do anything to hurt him.

You wipe the water from his lips gently. He purses his mouth as though to kiss the pad of your thumb longingly.

You slowly undo the buttons of his shirt, you needed to cool him down. He’s drenched in sweat.

“Sit up,” you pull him up with a hand on the back of his neck and push the shirt off of his shoulders. Your eyes trace his body longingly, but only for a moment.

You gently lay him back down and start undoing his converse so he can get more comfortable. He groans at the movements as you tug the shoes off and discard them, adoring his mismatched socks.

You brush his hair from his forehead and prompt him to open his eyes. He does but they’re heavy with fatigue.

“You’re going to be fine Spence, just tell me if you need anything,” you whisper.

You gently caress his cheek, his eyes fluttering closed. You relax your hand in the center of his bare chest, unable to help how drawn to him you are. You missed him. His lean body with the thin sheen of sweat had your heart fluttering. Touching him was too much, too overwhelming. You sigh and stand from the bed.

His arm wraps around your waist and he tugs you weakly back into the bed. You fall half onto him and half next to him.

“Don’t go,” he murmurs and buries his face in your stomach like you’re all he’ll ever need. You run your hands through his long hair and hold him close to comfort him. It doesn’t even bother you that his hair is damp, you just want to help him.

He pulls you more onto him and twists his hands into your shirt. You’re nearly straddling him now, leaning over him as he groans and begs for you to be closer.

“Spence,” you warn.

He nudges his face into your abdomen, between your breasts. He’s so out of it you doubt he’s even aware of his actions. His mouth clamps over your nipple which is hardening through your shirt. This is so wrong, but it feels so fucking good.

Your body reacts to him, your hips grinding down against his. You can’t help it.

Your tank top rides up and his mouth trails sloppily against your now exposed skin, causing you to suck air through your teeth harshly. He’s kind of kissing you, but more seemingly needing to touch you with his mouth. He leaves moist trails of kisses against your stomach. He grapples at your body, he’s needy, he’s panting. He’s whimpering against you.

He’s burning up.

“Shhh, Spence,” you sink down next to him and nestle into the crook of his arm.

You push away your arousal. That was not happening right now.

Besides, clear headed Spencer wouldn’t touch you that way after breaking up.

“Need you,” he moans.

“Not right now baby,” the nickname slips out. It was habit.

His buries his face in the crook of your neck, he’s breathing hard as his hand trails down your body. He digs his nails into the soft skin on your hips and squeezes lovingly. His fingertips move down the plane of your stomach and graze just under the edge of your waistband but he goes no further. You take in the sight of his large hand on your body again, those fingers, the way the muscles and veins move as he does. Your traitorous pussy clenches around absolutely nothing. Ugh.

He begins to kiss the soft spot of your neck and you can’t help but to tilt your head to give him better access. His hand moves up to squeeze your breast, pulling a moan from you. God you needed him so bad. But he was so sick. His desperation for you was driving you mad.

You hear him shudder as a chill washes over him. But he ignores it, moving so his laying on you, kissing your nipples through the thin fabric of your shirt. His eyes are still closed, heavy with sickness. But he slides his strong arms under you to hold you even closer to him as he continues to kiss and sucking at your neck. He nudges your tank top down and pulls your nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.

“Ah, Spencer. Baby,” you writhe beneath him, but he’s got you pinned.

He kisses you until he can’t anymore, until his grip on you grows weaker and his mouth lingers on you longer.

He grows tired and rests his head on your chest. He keeps you beneath him, most of his body weight laying between your legs. His head rests on your stomach as he starts to doze off. His warm breath fans against your skin.

You push your hand into his hair to keep him right where he is. He’s absorbing your body heat, his breathing beginning to slow.

A content sigh escapes his chest and he finally falls asleep.

You can still feel the ghosts of his hands and lips, messy and needy on your body. It’s like he was devouring you, like you were the only thing that could save him. He was absolutely out of his mind, acting on instinct and primal need despite being sick. It’s like he couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop himself from touching you.