#jesus fucking fuck. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

teaboot · 2 months ago

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Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

#Details changed for privacy reasons obvs #But Jesus Fucking Christ #I saw the video I look like an idiot #Please Jesus God don't fucking fire me #Teablart #Well guys it's been nice I guess #Time to die in a hole

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lastoneout · 6 months ago

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"sugar is poison" sugar is your body's preferred fuel choice and if you stop eating it entirely you will die

#fr free blocklist in the notes of that post jesus christ #cw disordered eating #cw diet culture #honestly fuck calling it diet culture I'm gonna start calling it starvation culture

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blondie-drawings · 1 month ago

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mama a Body behind you 😰 // pt1/pt2/pt3

#NO I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED NONA PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME #the next book still doesn't have a release date and i don't wanna be left in lingo #and also i love nona and don't want anything bad to happen to her and i have a feeling. bad thing are gonna happen to her :')#also can you fucking believe it's december now. jesus christ #anway. tags now #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #gideon nav #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #griddlehark #ianthe tridentarius #palamedes sextus #camilla hect #nona #harrianthe #kay byeee!

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greykolla-art · 11 months ago

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My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel comic #JESUS WEPT THIS FUCKING THING WAS A BEAST #BUT I LOVE IT!#hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #Alastor #charlie morningstar #angst #hurt/comfort #whump art #I know what you people are I’m one of you!#I heard your cries for more angst and I aim to please!#also good excuse to use clip studio more #I only bust that out for something special #now let’s do something else! like eat!

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teethburied · 6 months ago

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lestat + piano

#iwtv #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #sam reid #*#*iwtv #*tv #*gif #iwtvedit #louis de pointe du lac #claudia #i hate coloring season 2 sooo much and its not that i cant its that the footage is so fuck ugly in every episode jesus christ

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teethcore · 7 months ago

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i can't even complain about our cruel housemate without my angel making it about her.

#jesus fucking fuck.#i don't even want to get into that though i just want to vent about the housemate.#she cannot STAND me. she hates my guts dude #and it is so so obvious. she's so passive aggressive and cruel.#constantly.#and i can tell she wants me gone. but she's not gonna say anything. she's just gonna keep bullying me and hope i decide to leave.#well guess what bitch. i'm not going to.#i'm not gonna help you out.#you can't stand the flavor of mental illness i have.#you hate me because i am fat.#you hate that i have a gender identity you can't understand.#and you feel bad about it. boo fucking hoo.#[i'm not pulling that out of my ass btw those are the things she bullies me about.]#you feel bad that you're being forced to reconcile with the fact that you're a bigot. it's in direct contrast to the lies you tell yourself #about what a good little liberal you are. and how open minded you are.#and you don't want to be a bad person by kicking out the mentally ill trans person. because you know i'd be homeless.#and instead of recognizing that for what it is and going ''well no one is a saint clearly i need an outlet for my frustrations''#[bc expecting you to think ''i should work on my biases'' is obviously expecting too much lmao]#you just bully the absolute shit out of me all the fucking time and hope I'll just go away.#well i'm not gonna help you out.#i'm fucking miserable sure. i would probably be happier and feel safer homeless at this point.#but i stay out of pure pettiness.#you're going to have to kick me out and deal with the shame and cognitive dissonance.#i want that for you #fucking bitch.#—kieran #bite.txt

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nadhie · 20 days ago

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the bachelors, the bachelorettes AND KROBUS.

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attractive-nuisance-esq · 5 months ago

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hey so like does everyone know that Like A Prayer is most definitely a song about going down on someone?? like is the younger generation aware? did you guys know that Wade and Logan’s two pivotal scenes were set to a song about how blowing someone can be a religious experience?????? because this is Very Important information

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spyres-moved · 3 months ago

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#bwark #pkmn leaks #can we stop labelling a bunch of devs as terrible for literally just writing mythology that didn't even make it inti the game and wasn't #supposed to be seen by the public #esp the people naming and shaming the person who wrote them like jesus christ there's literal doxxing going on rn can we be mature #and like i said last night we have our own fair share of fucked up fairy tales and folklore in the west #so this discussion is giving the vibes of ''anime is uniquely perverted unlike our pure and innocent western animation''#like why are we singling out japanese mythology here lmao #ofc you're allowed to be uncomfortable with the leaks. i am and im definitely glad they were scrapped. but can we also be mature about it #it literally is not as big or horrible on gamefreak's end as people are making it out to be #it was scrapped for a reason. it was too much for this video game for children. can we move on or are people gonna make the same unfunny #joke about it #ask to tag?

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spitblaze · 7 months ago

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I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

#spitblaze says things #anyway.#1) please google 'halfling'#2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE #3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT*#4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU #5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general #is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik #anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta #im gonna start smashing things #doin numbers

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sweetmapple · 2 months ago

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Viktor and Jinx team-up would be goated, but alternatively...

#arcane #arcane s2 #arcane season2 #arcane season two #viktor arcane #arcane viktor #sevika #arcane sevika #i need to see how dommy mommy lesbian talks to zaun jesus #i fucking LOVE sevika #also her stance in the full body pic has me...#too tired to do full render #have gradient map

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your-local-granny · 4 months ago

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"We have to make sure you become recognized as a first-rate prosecutor, don't we? .......It wouldn't be very interesting otherwise."

#REAL SENTENCES THAT WERE SAID BY CHARACTERS IN THESE GAMES!!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i read this dialogue and like i was a spirit possessed i ran out of the room and drew this #portal of art #miles edgeworth #kay faraday #manfred von karma #ace attorney #ace attorney investigations #aai collection #aai

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destielmemenews · 6 months ago

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source 1

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#destiel meme news #destiel meme #news #united states #us news #us politics #joe biden #president biden #2024 presidential race #2024 elections #oh no #oh god oh fuck what now #2024 presidential election #i AM tagging this one #supernatural #and #destiel #i never put my posts in the main tags but i am this time because jesus fucking christ

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castielsprostate · 1 year ago

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i hate you "influencers", i hate you tiktok, i hate you "content creators", i hate you "unalive" and "s€x" and "dr/ügs", i hate you instagram, i hate you consumerism, i hate you family friendly, i hate you puritans, i hate you facebook, i hate you family vloggers, i hate you violating other people's privacy, i hate you modern day social media

#sjonnie.text #i just saw someone make a 50 SECONDS reel about combining movie genres and movies and it was scream and romance and it was 50 SECONDS and #they said “i'm sorry i unalived all those people” go actually fuck yourself.#IF YOU CAN'T SAY THE WORD MURDER KILL DRUGS SEX ETC YOU ARE NOT READY TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THOSE TOPICS #AND SHOULD NOT PRODUCE CONTENT OF IT #i hate this “family friendly” aesthetic jesus fucking christ #text post #anti instagram #anti tiktok #anti influencers #anti capitalism #20k

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lumintsu · 1 month ago

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