#jeff piere

[lillysilverus]

[positivexcellence]

kaleculleyofficial: Season 4 episode 1 of @thecwwalker is out tonight

[amberjazmyn]

"we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--"

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - "we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and I just don't--"

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - depressing, grief, grieving husband, widower, character death, hysterical crying

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - jared's wife lennon padalecki, a real-life texas ranger is murdered in cold blood. jared is then called after a day on set for his tv show, walker, which is a show about texas rangers, and has to visit the coroner's office to identify/see the body for the first time. 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i am writing this for jared once again but i'm changing his wife's name from maisie to lennon and that she is a real life texas ranger cause then it makes sense because he plays a ranger on tv but his wife is the real thing. so, i thought, if he has a wife in the texas rangers that gets killed in the line of fire during work it could still follow episode nine of season one of walker. because, season one, episode nine shows us through flashbacks the night that emily walker, the wife of jared's character cordell walker, gets killed. and in this episode, jared's character cordell and odette annable's character geri brussard travel to the coroner's office to identify the body. so, yeah, that's why i decided to switch it around and make it a jared one-shot and not a walker one-shot. italics will be used and the present time will be written in the normal font. it'll also be written in lowercase

masterlist

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her body, from head to toe, was shutting down, slowing itself as were all of her vital organs. the exact ones that were usually so good at keeping her alive during moments of immense panic. she was trying so hard to breathe in and out but she couldn't. laying on the ground, in the muddy grassy field she couldn't help but pray and hope that help was on its way. that was if help had even been called since she was no longer with her garda partner. every time she tried to breathe in, she'd start choking and gurgling on the blood that was rising up in her throat from the gunshot wound to her stomach. and this was due to the fact that she was lying down on the floor as though she was paralyzed.

trying to keep her eyes open, she tried so hard to stay alive. even though she knew that in a matter of minutes, maybe seconds, she would be dead. because, even with every piece of texas ranger training she went through, nothing would ever really prepare her for a moment like this. this was when real life texas ranger, lennon padalecki's phone started to ring again. this wasn't the first time her phone had rung though since earlier on, before this happened, she was on the phone to her husband before she hung up on him mid-gunshot. as she moaned in pain at her incoming death, she just as about looked at her phone one last time, looking at the contact photo of her husband, jared padalecki as it flashed up on her iphone. the photo was of the two of them laughing as jared had tried to go in for a kiss on lennon's lips. however, he had missed her lips entirely whilst their twin boys, kai and ethan, who were only a few months old and their daughter aurelia, aged sixteen were seen in the background. the twins and aurelia were also pictured, just like their parents, laughing at their silly antics. all of this was happening whilst tears, blood, sweat and every other bodily fluid bubbled in lennon's throat and down her face. this was when she came to the fate that she was going to die and that no one was going to find her. and, this for some reason gave peace to lennon. even though she and jared had just become new and first-time parents to their aforementioned twin boys, kai and ethan who were only a few months old, making sixteen-year-old aurelia an older sister for the first time. due to the fact that sixteen-year-old aurelia padalecki was born from a previous relationship of her mothers. and, for some reason, lennon never thought that during her time as a texas ranger that she'd die like this, on the wet, dewey, muddy field of grass looking up at the beautiful austin night sky. a huge gunshot wound overflowing with blood in the middle of her abdominal-stomach area. lennon had no clue that she got accidentally tangled with an iilegal drug trade at the border.

she was never told that important piece of information in the brief of her and her partners case. all the information they were given was that they were just driving to the border to deliever clean bottled water to a different crew of rangers who were finishing up a more serious case. with lennon's breathing starting to slow, so did her panic and worry of dying. her entire life from a little girl to the first time she met her husband to then watching them get married to then having aurelia and then kai and ethan along with all the other happy moments she spent with the rest of jared's walker castmates and their partners played through her mind as though it was a mini highlight reel of her life - which it was.

this put her at ease, she found herself taking her last breath, a smile on her face with her eyes focused upon the gorgeous austin night sky. her eyes fluttered shut as though she was just falling asleep and she wasn't bleeding out, covered in sweat, tears and various other fluids. she was calm and at rest even though the way to this moment was anything but calming and restful.

back at the set of his tv show, walker, that revolves around his wife's real life job as a texas ranger, jared couldn't contain his worry. thankful though, for the fact that walker was even filmed at their home state in austin, texas. meaning that he was closer to home than he would be if he was in vancouver or los angeles. this then inadvertently meant that the least of his worries was having to get on a plane to rush home to his wife. however, it still worried him that his wife didn't pick up the phone call after the first time she called originally. this made him think that she was in trouble - of course it did. this entire sitution gave jared a feeling that he didn't want to trust or worry about. but, he knew due to his wife's job as a texas ranger, he always had to worry about every and any phone call he could receive from his wife, boss or work partner. that phone call and missed phone call genuinely gave jared the heebie-jeebies but because he was on set for walker with his castmates, he desperately tried to forget about it.

it gave him the complete full body shivers to think about the possibility of something bad happening to his wife whilst she was at work. especially when all of her cases lately had been rather tame and nothing too scary. which then sent another full body shiver down jared's spine, giving him the thought of why would his wife call him while she's on shift if nothing was wrong?

this was when jared's phone started to ring again. the number was from the travis county coroner's office in regards to a body that needed indentifying. however, obviously, just from a number, jared didn't know that immediately like his wife was able to. in jared's mind, it was just an unknown number that had rung him but, truthfuly, he did assume that it was a law enforcement/government official number. so, it gave him all the wrong feelings that it was the coroner's office.

for a moment, jared was confused why they would need him when it was his wife that was the real-life texas ranger. why would jared need to identify someone...his blood then grew cold as his eyes began to water and he started to feel sick in the pit of his stomach.

what if that gut feeling was because of that strange phone call he received from lennon. what if something bad had indeed happened to his wife?

"...hello, am i speaking to a mr...jared padalecki?" the male on the other side of the phoneline queried

this made jared's anxiety anything but better about where his wife was, "umm, yes...yes, this is he. who...who am i speaking with, sorry?" jared stammered out in confusion and worry, his heart beating out of his chest - just hoping it was the rangers or--

"--this is the travis county coroner's office, sir. a lady in her early to late thirties has just been brought in to us and we're still unsure about her identity. but with the information we received, we found out that you are an emergency contact. we're just asking for you to come down so you can identify this woman. this is because as of right now, you sir, are our only possible lead as to who this woman is," the man spoke softly and with empathy

jared felt as though he had been thrown to the floor and kicked in the stomach. his breath was gone in a second as he then realised, the woman from what he had been told wasn't a ranger- maybe he wouldn't be identifying his wife after all.

"oh...oh, okay, yeah of...of course! i...i'll be on my way soon i just gotta--"

"--oh, sir, wait, before i forget, sorry, was the woman brought into the coroner's office a texas ranger?" jared stammered out

completely out of his director's seat now, showed his boss, anna, his phone with the now shown coroner's phone number. immediately, no questions asked, anna allowed jared to grab his things. also letting keegan, coby and odette go with him. not having a single care in the world that the four of them had a tv show to film.

the other man on the other end of the phone then responded with a soft gasp of remembrance, "ahh, that's what i had forgotten. i am so sorry mr padalecki, the woman that's been brought into the examiner's office was indeed mentioned to be a texas ranger. and now, i think we have a firm belief as to who it is. hence why you've been our first point of contact, so please be careful mr padalecki. we will see you when you arrive, thank you for your time," the man spoke as he then hung up to do what jared assumed was to ring the other three emergency contacts of who he didn't know was his own wife, lennon

because, all of a sudden, jared didn't seem too worried. he had suddenly remembered a rule in regards to what happens when a texas ranger dies whilst they are in active service. the rule is or was that the first person called is not the wife/husband/parent of the officer but the last person to be contacted. so, because of jared remembering this rule that was actually switched to the wife/husband/parent being called first, his worry and anxiety of him being told his wife had been killed in active duty just slipped away.

so, because of this, jared went straight to autopilot thinking it was lennon's partner, elliot that had died. as soon as the phone line went dead, jared rushed to his car, keegan joining him whilst coby and odette went in coby's big car. coby driving right behind jared as they sped down to the coroner's office, the two of them most likely breaking a ton of road rules. all the while just hoping that the person he was going to identify wasn't someone he was related to, let alone elliot or his own wife. and even then, he'd still be confused and equally as heartbroken as to who this person would be and why he'd be an unknown ranger's emergency contact since he was already elliot's second point of contact after his own wife. in the same way that elliot's wife was the second point of contact of lennon after jared.

as jared, keegan, odette and coby arrived at the travis county coroner's office, they all stepped out of their cars. jared now feeling dizzy and stressed out.

"jared, man, what's going on, do you know?" odette approached her nervous castmate and best friend as she notices him shake his head no

keegan, odette and coby watched as panic seeped through jared's eyes as keegan's jaw tightened. it seemed as though keegan already figured it out who it was that needed identifying, odette and coby as well.

the four castmates who were best friends leaned against coby's big car, jared's mind starting to wander. he tried to think up of all the people in his wife's team that had him as their emergency contact other than elliot. as he wracked his brain, by the time he fully remembered that he was his own wife's first point of contact, a voice that sounded like the man who rang jared was heard from the front door of the building. this voice had caught the cast's attention.

"...mr padalecki...they're ready for you," the man who had rung jared opened the door, shivers spreading through the body's of jared and his castmates

this threw jared back to the strange phone call from lennon. it truthfully just gave him the creeps and rightfully so.

"we love you jared, it's gonna be okay!" odette spoke softly as she placed her hand on the shoulder of her older best friend

turning around, jared nodded his head before turning back to the examiner and walked into the coroner's office.

only keegan had followed the examiner and jared into the office. odette and coby waiting outside since they didn't want to crowd the office or overwhelm jared. besides, keegan had offered on the ride there since he was jared and lennon's other point of contact after each other. keegan was best friends with lennon so to even think that they were possibly having to identify his best friend's wife's dead body haunted him and they hadn't even been shown the body yet. they hadn't even been escorted into the exam room yet. keegan had been in jared's trailer originally when the first phone call from lennon was given to jared and he was probably feeling that weird feeling again when it hit keegan. why else would they be called to the coroner's office and not the hospital if lennon died in a more natural way like a car collision or stroke? because they wouldn't. if it was a stroke or car collision, the call would have come from the hospital.

this now made keegan nervous and sick to his stomach as they were then brought into the exam room about to identify the body. the medical examiner and elliot...wait, if it wasn't elliot that jared and keegan needed to identify then who was it...

...no...it couldn't be...no, jared was asleep...he was just taking a quick nap before the show... it can't be her...but it was...because next to the medical examiner, standing at the head of the body was elliot, the partner of his wife, lennon.

keegan noticed the tears that elliot had been and was still crying due to the tear marks on his cheeks. it was clear that this was anyone but elliot's fault because he wasn't crying tears of guilt. he was crying tears of losing his best friend who just happened to be his work partner.

it was at this moment that keegan had to bring jared out of his haze. especially since it was clear that if they waited any moment longer, it wouldn't get any easier than it already was to have to identify jared's dead wife. all the examiner needed was a head nod from either jared or keegan for him to shed the sheet that covered lennon. but, it was jared's confirming head nod that the examiner knew for sure that it was time for them to identify the already known body of his wife, the dead texas ranger that had been found.

almost immediately, jared's entire body locked as he fell forward against the pulled out shelving unit that had his dead wife laying on.

once he realised that it wasn't elliot he needed to identify, tears immediately filled his eyes as he tried to memorise every single piece of his wife. it was his wife that he needed to identify for the coroners, not elliot. it didn't take keegan any longer than it took jared to realise who it was they needed to identify. just like jared did when he saw elliot, keegan immediately realised who they had been called in to identify.

without realising he was doing it, keegan started to move his body over to the far wall as he watched his best friend become a widower and single father within minutes. jared had become a widower and single father to aurelia, kai and ethan within ten minutes from the phone call to the drive from the set of their tv show walker to the coroner's office. ten minutes it had taken for jared to lose his whole entire world in the woman that was his wife and the mother to his three kids.

straight away, jared lost his composure. of course he did. how couldn't he? he wept, whimpered and wailed like never heard before as they echoed across the small office to the parking lot where odette and coby could hear it. hearing his wails gave coby and odette all the information they needed to know that it was indeed lennon that was being identified. jared then started to lean against the cold, metal shelving unit to keep himself steady so he wouldn't collapse to his knees.

he just couldn't seem to make sense of this entire situation his head. he couldn't understand as to who would do something like this to his wife, the woman who had just given birth a couple of months ago to their fraternal twins. even then, what did they do to his wife? the examiner didn't even mention it as it had been decided that it would be more efficient to have them identify who it was before revealing the cause of death.

"oh...oh my go...gosh!" jared wailed as he panicked, what had even happened to his wife?

what was she even doing? why didn't she ring him back the second time he had called? he had so many questions going through his mind but not enough clarity to sort through them all. he couldn't focus on anything but the fact that he wasn't going to allow himself to collapse to his knees on that floor.

"i...i got-gotta call my-my family! got to call...oh, aurelia...kai...ethan...our babies!" jared whimpered, sniffling as he found himself falling into hysteria at the fact he was now all on his own

this was the moment it truly, properly hit jared that he had lost the love of his life and that his three kids had lost their mother. and the thing that shattered jared's heart even more was the fact that they had no clue at all. the twins not even old enough to comprehend their mommy not being here anymore and aurelia just getting old enough to truly comprehend the possibility of her mom not being here anymore.

it tore keegan's heart into pieces to hear jared collapsing into hysteria and grief as keegan struggled as if it was himself. lennon had just given birth to kai and ethan and had only just returned back to work with the rangers after maternal leave.

"we...we got to get her out of here, okay?" jared panicked, not willing to accept the news that lennon was dead as keegan could only watch

keegan's own tears unwillingly streaming down his cheeks ever so quietly, jared's wails the only ones heard. his teats streaming quicker remembering that what jared was saying were the exact lines he says in the upcoming episode of walker.

"it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--"

"--doctor, *sniffles*, sir umm how...how did lennon die? what...what happened?" keegan blurts as a way to calm jared down knowing he wouldn't be able to ask himself

this being the moment that odette and coby knew they couldn't wait outside any longer. neither of them caring that they were potentially crowding the small viewing room. they just couldn't stand by any longer, they had to be inside of that viewing room and comforting their distraught best friend.

"now that it has been verified that the body is texas ranger lennon padalecki, i can now confirm that it was a gunshot wound to her abdominal-stomach area in the midsection that was her ultimate cause of death. the rangers are now building a formal investigation as to who lennon's killer was and whether or not there was an ulterior motive. or if, as we suspected originally, it was a wrong place right time situation and didn't realise until it was too late. an investigation into whether or not the texas rangers purposefully put mrs padalecki and elliot in a dangerous position that led to her untimely death is also being formed," the examiner spoke softly with a tilt of professionalism as keegan nodded his head

jared at this point was barely able to move let alone tilt his head in an up or down motion. his gutwrenching wails still being the only other thing heard as his legs slowly started to give way. he was starting to heavily rely on applying pressure to the shelving unit to keep himself upright.

it devastated keegan, odette and coby just as much as it devastated jared that they identified lennon's dead body. all their minds were filled with many questions as to what lennon was even doing that caused her to die from a gunshot wound and being so far away from elliot who was completely free from physical harm.

how on god's green earth did she get shot? was she doing something suspicious or that seemed suspicious to the person or people that shot her? was she aware that she was maybe accidentally walking through territory that wasn't her jurisdiction? or was she like the examiner mentioned, in the right place at the wrong time?

but then, a completely different thought went through all of their minds. did the rangers do this on purporse? purposefully send out one of their rangers who had just returned from maternity leave and just hope with the pure negligence that she'd come back home safely?

or was this situation like what lennon would show jared in a crime show when they first started dating and lennon tried to explain to jared what her job was...even though he didn't need it to be explained since he definitely had heard of chuck norris' original version of walker, texas ranger before he'd ever end up playing the said title character in a reboot many years later.

were the people who shot lennon worried that because she was a uniformed texas ranger but had her personal phone with her, not her professional work phone that she was going to rat them out to elliot and the other on-shift rangers? so many questions yet it seemed as though they were no possible answers to fill the void that jared no longer had his wife by his side anymore. his children, aurelia, kai and ethan no longer had their mom there to watch them grow up or be there for them when they needed her help when it was something dad couldn't fix.

this whole time of silence, jared hadn't stopped wailing. it was still loud and just as agonising as before. of course it was, it was a dagger to the hearts of the examiner and his castmates to hear the greivous wails. it seemed as if despite the amount of tears he was producing, he wasn't ever going to run out. it actually shocked everyone that he was still standing, though it was with the help of the shelving unit that was cold as ice with some of it covered with puddles of dried-up blood that he was leaning on. because, truthfully, they all thought that jared would have immediately collapsed to his knees. however, they quickly realised that jared still wanted to have some control over himself and his body if he couldn't control the wails that shook his entire body.

present time 

a little under four months later and the families of lennon were having the righteous funeral for their texas ranger. the reason for the four-month long wait was due to the double investigations that had taken place to figure out who had done it and whether or not the texas rangers were responsible for the death of one of their rangers. finally though, with the long and tiring court process finished, thankfully in favour of the family, lennon's murderer getting the maximum penalty which was life without parole. going back to the investigation regarding the ranger's part of this homicide, they were put under a little bit of fire for their negligence for one of their rangers. but most especially for the fact that it wasn't just any regular ranger but one that had just returned from maternity leave.

however, that specific court case was ultimately acquitted because it turned out that the commanding officer that put lennon, elliot and the rest of that ranger task force on that case was genuinely told incorrect information. the information that they were just supposed to be giving out water to the other texas rangers, not actually informing them of the dangers of the case that the other task force was handling. it was someone else within the rangers, in a higher position in the ranks that was sentenced and found guilty of negligence, not lennon's captain.

but, once that was done and all the stress from that was over, that was when they could finally organize the funerals. and yes, there was two funerals. the first one was a state texas rangers funeral because of the fact that lennon was a ranger within the texas rangers and she was on active duty when she got killed. and the second one was the one that had just finished. the first one was planned by the texas rangers and the second one was planned by the two families, the padalecki's and the castellano's, the families of jared and lennon.

at both funerals, jared gave a eulogy for his wife and they were both heartbreaking and beautiful. mentioning that he had been in love with lennon since they were twelve. also mentioning that whilst he was terrified of being a single father to aurelia, kai and ethan, he was confident in knowing that he had the support from not only his and lennon's family, his walker family but also the family of lennon's rangers team. this was when mentioned in elliot's eulogy that was said straight after jared's at the state funeral and reiterated again at the private funeral that had just ended.

due to being an actor and currently starring in a show about being a texas ranger, this experience and heartache was then turned into the newly reworked scene of cordell going through the same thing that jared went through in real life. because of this, he went as far as to ask if he could refilm the opening scene of "rule number 17" which has the opening scene of cordell seeing his wife's dead body at the coroner's office. exactly how he had to see his real-life texas ranger wife, lennon. of course, everyone on set was hesitant but, they all knew to not argue with the executive producer which also happened to be jared himself.

so, whilst it was a heartbreaking scene to refilm for everyone om the set, it was a scene that didn't take too long and wasn't too hard to get into the headspace of to film in one clean take.

during the service, jared just wished he was somewhere completely different. course he did, why would he purposefully choose to be in a funeral home when he could be on set filming walker where his real-life and pretend tv life didn't merge into one. but, he couldn't do that. he couldn't run away. not from his kids after they had just experienced the loss of their mom. he knew he couldn't hide away from the truth of his wife's loss. he knew he couldn't run away from his kids to hide his cries so, he didn't. he sat up at the front of the church, aurelia sitting next to him with kai asleep in her arms and ethan asleep in his arms as he wept as he farewelled his wife and the mother to his kids.

✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧

sitting in silence, the padalecki, castellano and families of the walker members just twiddled their thumbs trying to distract themselves in any other way that wasn't twiddling their thumbs. the silence was then broken by aurelia padalecki, jared and lennon's eldest daughter. the girl speaking up as she took notice of the way everyone made eye contact with her.

"...mom would totally be saying a joke right now because she hates awkward silences," she spoke bluntly, trying to keep her voice airy, everyone looking at the girl to continue

"umm, okay, yeah, joke sorry...what did the ghost say to the bee?" she almost smirked as she regained her composure, everyone shrugging their shoulders not knowing the punchline

"boo, bee," she struggled to keep her laughter in which made jared, her dad, who was still in tatters tearfully giggle

"what...what's brown and sticky?" violet, jared's tv daughter spoke up with a small giggle as immediatey, jared's real-life daughter aurelia rolled her eyes at her tv sister's dad joke

"a stick," the "sisters" said at the same exact time, violet giggling softly whilst aurelia was monotone, a joking roll of her eyes, her smile sad and small

"what kind of music do chiropracters like? hip pop" jared spoke up tearfully with a chuckle as the room filled with giggles

not all the giggles were identical. some were tearful, others wholehearted, a couple were nervously laughing but it didn't matter. all that mattered was there was still laughter filling up the room which was a good step in all of their grieving processes.

"that was awful, dad. mom would not have been impressed by that at all," aurelia whispered, glad that her dad was here with her and her brothers again

for context, the castellano's had been taking care of aurelia, kai and ethan during the four months during the double investigations and court proceedings.

speaking of the kids, aurelia noticed the way her dad's face changed. it was like a switch had been flicked and he was suddenly teary. it was clear that to aurelia, her dad had become overwhelmed with everything going on around him. especially with this being the second funeral for his wife and mother of his three kids, aurelia being one of them.

"dad, are you okay?" aurelia decided to ask, jared pulled out of his stupor and nodded his head

"uh...yeah, i'm-i'm fine! i just need some fresh air, alright baby?" jared stammered out as aurelia nodded her head

"yeah, sure daddy, that's fine," aurelia's tone of voice was filled with worry, there was clearly something wrong with her dad but she didn't know what

as jared stumbled out of the gathering room everyone was in, it felt as though he could finally get a breath of air into his lungs. for a while, it felt serene for jared in the fields of the funeral home. until jared felt a breeze passing against his cheek and what sounded like little bells in his ears.

turning around, he heard what he thought was a female voice, " you can't walk out on them like that..." and it was a female voice but it just wasn't any female voice

it was lennon's voice. and jared thought he was going crazy and he probably was as he furiously looked behind him just in case he had been followed. when he saw no one was behind him, he spoke up.

"...i...i don't want them seeing me like this," jared sniffled as lennon's ghost softened from her stern facial features from before

"well they're in pain too, and the only way through it is with them," lennon begged as jared wept, turning his head to the side

"this wasn't part of the plan, you...you weren't supposed to die," jared's voice shook from his cries

"it happened and the only thing that matters now is helping our kids. i need you to promise me that you're gonna be there for them," lennon's voice was exasperated as jared still found it difficult to keep eye contact with the ghost of his wife

"i don't know how. lennon, i don't know what to do," jared sniffled, if anything, he didn't know how to take care of the twins, he was perfectly capable of taking care of aurelia and lennon knew that

"do your best," lennon spoke for one last time before fading away

but, because jared looked away, he didn't see her disappear until he looked back over at the spot where her ghost was. it threw him off slightly at what he just saw and heard. now this was really creepy because this is the exact same thing that happens in "rule number 17" in walker. the fact the ghost of his wife had returned, telling him off for running out on his family but then soothing him and comforting him was a solace for jared.

by the time jared had started his journey back into the funeral home, he could hear footsteps. it was clear that just like him, this moment was very overwhelming someone else. it wasn't until he noticed the striking brown hair that he realised it was his daughter, aurelia. it was clear that her brothers were being taken care of, either by one of the walker guys or one of the castellano's which gave her the opportunity to run away outside.

as she ran outside, it was then that aurelia felt as though she could finally let go and just cry. her cries were almost as loud as her dad's were when he had to identify lennon's body at the examiner's office. wrapping her arms around herself as a form of self-protection, she had no idea that jared had found her. and it was due to her own cries sounding in her ears that she hadn't realised her dad had come to look for her let alone find her, though accidentally. she thought she was slicker than a buttered otter since her dad was already outside and it seemed as though everyone else was preoccupied with the twins. however, apparently, aurelia cannot be secretive and slick around her dad as much as she likes to think she is.

aurelia was about to turn around from her little breakdown to go back inside, only to look up and match the tearful eyes of her dad.

no words were even needed to let jared know that his daughter really wasn't as okay as she had made everyone believe she was. it was clear to jared at this point that in aurelia's world, it felt as though everything was crashing around and on top of her all at once and today was her breaking point. she couldn't keep it in any longer but she didn't want to be in the presence of her family. just like her dad, but especially didn't want to have her breakdown in front of her dad because of how painful it would be for him to witness it. so, in aurelia's mind, the only smart option to her was to cry alone where no one could see or hear her.

"aurelia?" jared only whispered before his daughter broke again, falling into her dad's frame as he immediately pulled his daughter into his arms

"i...i can't...it...it hurts so much dad...why did mom die?" aurelia panicked, the same way which jared himself panicked that day four months ago in the examiner's office whilst aurelia and the twins were non the wiser

"i know it hurts ellie. it hurts like hell and truthfully it'll feel like that for a while, that was your mom, i'm never going to lie to you. and, she...she died because it was a situation of right place at the wrong time. she had veered away from uncle elliot and she got caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone wrong. the drug dealers at the field where elliot found her mom had noticed she was walking towards them. your mom, obviously oblivious to what was going on in front of her because she thought she'd be meeting up with the other group of rangers, when they saw her uniform and the phone in her hand, they thought she was going to rat them out to her fellow rangers and possibly me. not like i'd be able to do anything but, they thought that because of the phone in her hand, that they'd get caught. and, because of that, they thought the best way to stop that possible scenario from happening was to essentially eliminate her so, that...that's what they did," jared's voice shook towards the end, that had been the first time in months that he had explained to his daughter how her mom had died

"why are we so unlucky?" aurelia whimpered as she hugged her dad tight and he scoffed, sniffing as a tear of his hit aurelia's cheek

"i'm not so sure love but, i think this is where our luck turns around," jared muttered, only hoping that he didn't just straight up lie to himself or his daughter

"how are you so sure?" aurelia whimpered again as she took a deep breath in, jared doing the same before making eye contact with his daughter

"because darling, the shooter, whilst showing utter remorse and guilt for the murder of your mommy, is in jail for as long as he shall live as is the person high up in the rangers for even instructing mommy's captain to give her and elliot that task. even though we did forgive them both, they are both still responsible and still took away the life of an innocent texas ranger who was just doing what she was simply told to do. but, ellie, just know that i'm not going anywhere and i'm always going to protect you and the twins. even if i end up say, falling in love with someone else, you and the twins will always be an important piece of me as will mom's family and they will always be loved by me and i'll always call them my family, you understand ellie?" jared was stern with his daughter in the knowledge that even though he may fall in love with another girl after the loss of his first wife, that the family of his first wife will never be forgotten as his first

and that was something that aurelia was pleased to hear as well as something that the rest of the castellano family would appreciate. because no matter what, jared will always be their brother and son-in-law and the aunty's, uncle's and grandparents to his kids. and that was because they needed it right now during this time of grieving, it was needed more than ever.

"i understand daddy. i'm glad that mommy's family will still stay ours no matter what happens even without mom with us," aurelia whispered as jared clenched his jaw as he held his daughter tightly

then the father and daughter both broke down into tears as they stood in the wooded area for what felt like an eternity. when in reality, it was almost an hour before kale and violet, alongside kai and ethan, had come out to look for their "sister" and "dad". only to find the two of them still crying their eyes out as the six of them embraced. kale giving jared kai whilst violet held onto ethan. the second they got into the group hug, it seemed as though the tears didn't stop as jared held his twin boys tight after violet carefully gave him ethan.

the four remaining padalecki's cried over their mom and wife, kale and violet over their "tv mom" and over the fact that they'd never see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her sing in the kitchen or play with their dogs arlo, koda and bridger. they cried over the fact that dad jared was a lot more vulnerable without mom than when she was alive. and they cried over the fact that kai and ethan would have to grow up without their mom and have little to no memories of her and only very few photos of the five of them as a family. whilst aurelia had also lost her mom too, it was obvious to her and everyone else that most of those tears were for the twins since aurelia had sixteen years whereas the twins only had months. this meant that when jared cries over lennon, the twins won't be able to understand why since they're still babies and won't really be able to comfort their dad or understand why they are. they also cried over the fact that the only things they have left of their mom and wife are the videos and photos of memories that were gonna spare a lifetime but were still not enough in the means of never getting new videos and photos of her with her children and husband.

"dad?" aurelia speaks up, her voice raw and scratchy from her crying

"yeah, ellie?" jared speaks up as well, his voice also hoarse from the tears, his arms tight around his little kai

"are you okay to go back to work, to walker?" aurelia's soft words brought comfort to jared that had never happened before as he found himself slightly smiling at his daughter's question

"yeah, i am darlin'. it's been four months, your walker family need me back for filming and things. if you wish and want to, i'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if i could bring you and the boys with me if that's what worries you," jared smiled softly as his daughter smiles and the faces of his tv children, kale and violet light up as if all their previous grief slipped away

ethan getting handed over to jared so he could cuddle both of his boys at the same time was soothing jared as well as it was soothing kai and ethan. because aurelia was so caught up in getting hugged by her dad and brothers, violet spoke up.

"that sounds perfect, jared. you were already an amazing father to aurelia and the twins but you'll be an even better father to them with the assistance of us, the walker family," violet smiled as did kale, nodding their heads in agreement as jared smiled back

"thank you violet and kale, that means a lot," jared smiled, trying to escape aurelia's grasp so he could hug violet and kale as he hugged the twins close, taking a deep breath

during this entire conversation, the family had been walking back to the funeral home that they had left hours earlier. sitting down on the steps as they faced each other again and smiled at one another.

"you guys ready to face everyone again, you as well aurelia?" jared questions his children, real life and tv as they stay close to one another

violet holding the hand that aurelia wasn't holding of her dad's as she and kale smile down to the ground. they knew there was going to be a lot more tears but that they were hopefully going to be less intrusive.

"i mean, the world continues to turn, right?" aurelia chimes in as jared smiles at his daughter and nods his head

the father and daughter made eye contact with violet and kale before taking a quick glance at the now-sleeping twins before they decided to head back inside.

"you are correct ellie, the world does continue to turn," jared smiled making his daughter laugh as they walked back inside with kale

violet however, stalked back but not too far behind as coby, another one of the walker family stood waiting for them.

"you alright darling?" coby whispered as he held his fellow costar violet tight as she smiled, nodding her head into her costars chest, kale getting a hug from molly

"uh-huh, more than alright coby," she whispered back as coby smiled, closing his eyes tightly

"that's good darlin', but, maybe give jared another hug? he's not as strong as he thinks he is. he's struggling without lennon's help with aurelia and the twins. he's scared, vi. he needs to know the castellano's will still be there even if he does end up with someone else," coby whispered as violet nodded her head and walked back over to her tv dad

catching him off-gaurd since aurelia had since left to hang out with uncle keegan and kale, he was thankful he was now only holding one twin, kai. jared's tears seemed to begin again when violet pulled him in for another hug. this broke violet's heart all over again as jared closed his eyes. only wishing for this whole scenario to just be a really bad dream and that he'd be walking back onto the walker set and his wife was still alive.

"you sure you're okay, jared?" violet whispered softly, asking her tv dad again who cried softly, hugging his son kai closer, the other grip on violet

"in time," jared sniffled quietly, letting violet understand that he was admitting he was terrified as violet nodded her head in agreement

"in time," violet repeated because it was true

- - - 

so, i did say this was gonna be depressing so, i do like how this turned out like, still, that opening scene for that episode of walker, hurts like a fucking bitch like, why would you do that to us jared? why would you start an episode of walker like that?! especially when it's your real-life wife as your tv wife like dood! please pay for my therapy thank you, it's only fair (also, just in case no one took the hint, that last sentence was pure sarcasm as i actually do go to therapy and it is not paid by jared padalecki but by australian healthcare and my mum!)

ily xx

word count; 5377

[geekgirl750]

If you think about it Community s3 ep10 "Regional Holiday Music" walked so that The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals could run.

(But to be fair Regional Holiday Music also ran and is arguably one of the best episodes in Community.)

[sweetdreamsjeff]

The poetry that inspired Jeff Buckley

Aimee Ferrier

Sun 1 October 2023 21:15, UK

Voices as incredible as the one belonging to Jeff Buckley don’t come around too often. Unfortunately, after releasing one record, Grace, Buckley, with all his potential, was taken away too soon. At the age of 30, the singer went for a swim from which he never returned, drowning in the Mississippi River.

Yet, his legacy lives on as one of the most influential artists to emerge from the 1990s, and his music is widely celebrated today for its emotional and lyrical complexity. Not only did Buckley possess an otherworldly voice, but he was also an extremely gifted guitar player and writer, with all his talents combining to create a masterful body of work.

Even when Buckley was covering other artists’ songs, such as ‘Lilac Wine’, ‘The Other Woman’ and ‘Hallelujah’, he imbued the pieces with his own distinctive style. Yet, his penchant for covers wasn’t a reflection of an aversion to writing. Buckley knew how to pen a stunningly poetic track, with songs like ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over’ and ‘Morning Theft’ suggesting that even if Buckley didn’t have the vocal pipes he was gifted with, he’d get by just fine as a writer.

Buckley took inspiration from many different writers and musicians when writing his own songs. Musically, Buckley looked back to folk artists like Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan and, of course, his own father, Tim Buckley, from whom he was estranged. Elsewhere, he loved the work of Pakistani singer Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, the rich tones of Nina Simone, and Led Zeppelin, calling Robert Plant “my man”.

However, when it came to his literary inspirations, Buckley had an extensive book collection, which he no doubt looked to for ideas when writing his lyrics. He owned a lot of poetry, with Rainer Maria Rilke proving to be a particular favourite. Not only did Buckley own Dunio Elegies, Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties: Translations and Considerations Poems from the Book of Hours, but he also owned his epistolary collection Letters to a Young Poet.

Buckley was also a fan of the classic American poet Walt Whitman, owning Leaves of Grass and From the Soil. Of course, no poetry collection is complete without copies of Arthur Rimbaud’s A Season in Hell and Illuminations, alongside some Charles Baudelaire – Buckley-owned Paris Spleen. The singer also owned the Selected Poems of confessional poet Anne Sexton and modernist writer T.S Eliot.

Check out Buckley’s complete poetry collection below.

The poetry that inspired Jeff Buckley:

Dunio Elegies – Rainer Maria Rilke

Poems from the Book of Hours – Rilke

Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties: Translations and Considerations – Rilke

Leaves of Grass – Walt Whitman

From This Soil – Whitman

The Odyssey – Homer

Early Work, 1970-1979 – Patti Smith

You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense – Charles Bukowski

Selected Poems of Ezra Pound

The Complete Lyrics – Hank Williams

A Haiku Journey: Basho’s Narrow Road to a Far Province – Matsuo Basho

Paris Spleen – Charles Baudelaire

The Captain’s Verses – Pablo Neruda

Selected Poems – T.S. Eliot

A Season in Hell and Illuminations – Arthur Rimbaud

Writing and Drawings – Bob Dylan

Ode to Walt Whitman – Federico Garcia Lorca

New Poems: 1962 – Robert Graves

Fear of Dreaming: The Selected Poems – Jim Carroll

Selected Poems of Anne Sexton – Anne Sexton

Selected Poems – John Shaw Neilson

Selected Poems: Summer Knowledge – Demore Schwartz

The Collected Poems of Frank O’Hara – Frank O’Hara

Poems – Pier Paolo Pasolini

Space: And Other Poems – Eliot Katz

Tim Buckley Lyrics

[weirdlookindog]

Octaman (1971) - German Poster

[jeff-rees-jones]

Kew pier, river Thames, London.

[moviesandmania]

OCTAMAN Classic so-bad-it's-good monster movie - free on Plex, Roku, Tubi and YouTube

Octaman is a 1971 American sci-fi horror film about researchers terrorised by a strange mutation of man and octopus. Written and directed by Harry Essex (co-writer of The Creature from the Black Lagoon). The movie stars Pier Angeli (who committed suicide towards the end of the production), Kerwin Mathews and Jeff Morrow. The Octaman was created by Doug Beswick and Rick Baker (It’s Alive; An…

[tenth-sentence]

"Exactly what would happen if he wakes?"

"Incarnations of Immortality: With a Tangled Skein" - Piers Anthony

[googoogojob]

not so much lonely pier at Jeff's inn by the sea

[alwaysurvalentine]

Three Strikes and You're Out! - st fic

This is a follow up to: this - wc: 2.8k - cw: nothing to worry about I think!

enjoy! 💛

Eddie decides to talk to Robin first. He’s not sure what to expect when she swings her front door open and yells over her shoulder to Mrs. Buckley. 

“I’ll be back in a bit, go ahead and eat!” 

And then she’s stomping over to his van and looking at him expectantly from the passenger seat. He almost trips rushing to follow her, but is able to start his car in one piece.

“I was wondering when you were going to come by. Steve mentioned things didn’t go over well the other night.” She says it bluntly and Eddie flinches. He knows the other night could’ve gone better. Like a dog with a bone, he’s been dissecting the other night in great detail. Can’t stop thinking of how frustrated Steve seemed with himself, how the words ‘stupid’ and ‘bullshit’ dripped vitriol from his mouth, and how he let the other boy leave in such a hurry. He taps his hands against the steering wheel softly before answering.

“Yeah. It wasn’t good, Birdie. I really messed up.” Personally, he doesn’t think ‘messed up’ really covers it. He feels like he walked himself right off the edge of a pier into icy waters. Steve hasn’t answered the couple of times he’s called and the only reason why Eddie’s not searching town for him is knowing that Steve has at least been giving the brats rides to the arcade. Hearing his voice on the radio has been enough, but Eddie can’t take the closed off silence he’s getting now. 

“So I’ve heard. Wanna tell me how things went from your perspective?”

He tells her the story once they get to the diner. There’s a plate of fries between them but Eddie just picks at them instead of actually eating. Robin’s blue eyes feel like daggers so he’s been more focused on watching the parking lot than looking at her.

“Like I said, I know I messed up.”

It’s quiet for a moment before Robin speaks up again, words calm.

“Do you even know how you did?”

And Eddie realizes, he doesn’t really. He knows Steve is upset but to be this upset over a D&D game? There’s something more under the surface – that’s why he was drawn to Robin. If anyone is going to know what the root of the problem is, it’s Steve’s own nerdy band soulmate. She has to know why Steve pulled away halfway through the session. Eddie had thought things were going well; Dustin had helped Steve with his character, Jeff let him borrow some of his dice, and Steve had been asking questions. But they all asked questions when they started! Sometimes Gareth even had to double check an action versus the rules during his turns. 

The more Eddie thinks about it though, Steve had only asked a couple questions before Mike had made some comment under his breath. It wasn’t long after that that the ex-jock had said he’d be gone for a quick break but to continue without him. A quick break turned into him not coming back to the table at all and Eddie wrapping up the session early to everyone’s disappointment. After everyone went home is when things went downhill, but he still doesn’t know why it bothered Steve so much.

“Eddie.” Robin’s voice sounds pitying, like she’s sad he wasn’t able to make this connection on his own. “You said it yourself, you can’t be good at everything you try the first time. But this is Steve we’re talking about. He feels like he can’t mess up. If he ever slips up, you know what those kids of his do?”

Eddie does. He knows the kids, especially Mike and Dustin, tend to fixate on Steve’s slip ups. They’re just like siblings in that way, but Steve’s always been an only child. Eddie can imagine that the constant harping probably sits a little heavier on Steve’s shoulder than the kids realize. He pulls his gaze from the window and looks at Robin again. 

Something like regret is crawling up his spine – he helped make a space where Steve felt bad for messing up, and then yelled at him for not trying.

“Oh Birdie, I really messed up. How do I fix this? I just wanted to share this with him. And I know all the kids did too. He’s their glorified big brother, whether he realizes it or not – they just want to have more in common with him.” 

She’s nodding along to his words, plate now empty except for the last dredges of the ketchup she’d put there earlier. “Maybe it’s not so much that they need to share what they like with him, but that you guys need to share what he likes. I may not care about sports as much as he does, but I’ve played on bleachers long enough to follow a game. Sometimes that’s what our hang outs are: he puts on the latest game and I paint my nails or work on patches for my jacket. He’s got his own interests, you know? That’s what makes him who he is – he just goes along with what everyone else likes because no one really likes his stuff except for-”

“Lucas. Robin Buckley, you are a genius.”

~

That’s how Eddie finds himself at the Sinclair’s house a couple hours later. He’d radioed Lucas as soon as he dropped off Robin and was pleasantly surprised to find out he was free that afternoon. Things were rocky between them for a while, with Eddie replacing him with Erica while he played the championship game. Steve had been the one to get Eddie to apologize about it. Made Eddie see how important both games had been to Lucas, how unfair it was to force him to pick one over he other. Especially since one has a coach breathing down the players necks to make sure they’re at every game, unlike the Hellfire Club getting to pick their meeting days and times. Lucas forgave him as soon as he said sorry but Eddie vowed he’d do better in the future about re-scheduling to make sure there weren’t issues. He couldn’t imagine having a show and none of his friends showing up. 

“Hey Eddie! Lucas mentioned you were coming by.” Mrs. Sinclair welcomed him in, gesturing for him to follow her into the kitchen. It was nice to be accepted so easily into their home, he’d worried when meeting all of the party's parents that they would decide he was the hell raiser people claimed him to be without giving him a real chance. Looking back, he should’ve known better – there’s no way his sheep would have parents that weren’t at least a little open minded. 

He follows her to the kitchen and gets hit with a wave of warmth and the smell of brown sugar. Mrs. Sinclair slips on a faded blue oven mitt before pulling a tray of cookies from the oven.

“Are the cookies done yet?” Little Erica comes around the corner and raises an eyebrow at Eddie. “And when did you get here?” 

“Just got here. Your mom just pulled the cookies out, so you’ve got impeccable timing as always Lady Applejack.” He grins down at her when she brightens at the promise of warm cookies. It’s nice to see the kids getting to be kids after everything. 

“Lucas is in the backyard, will you bring him some of these before someone tries to eat them all.” Mrs. Sinclair smiles and nods her head towards Erica, who’s trying to save a cookie from the floor since it’s so warm it’s falling apart. 

Lucas tosses the ball as soon as Eddie steps outside and lets out an excited ‘whoop!’ when it goes into the basket. “Nice one?” Eddiesounds less confident when he says it but he’s also very aware he wouldn’t be able to do the same thing no matter how hard he tried. The smile he gets from Lucas rids him of his nervousness though and he holds out the plate of cookies. 

“I’ve been sent with snacks.” The plate’s taken from his hands quickly, cookie in Lucas’ mouth in seconds. 

“Thanks. So what’d you wanna talk about? Not that I don’t like seeing you, we just don’t usually hang out one on one.” 

Guilt fills Eddie’s stomach, especially since he’s here to ask a favor. But honestly, maybe this is good for him. To learn more about Lucas too. 

“Well. I’m gonna level with you. I need you to teach me about sports.”

~

Sports are much more complicated than Eddie ever gave them credit for. Lucas spent the afternoon going over the different rules for basketball. He’d tried to follow as best he could, and while some stuff stuck, like what exactly a three-pointer was and why dribbling was so important – Eddie knows he’s far from being a sports fan. When Lucas had mentioned that Steve’s favorite had been baseball, he’d hoped to learn some there too. But baseball wasn’t Lucas’ passion so he’d put off that research for later.

Even if he didn’t get all of it, it was nice to see Lucas so excited. He’s seen the kid during campaigns, planning out different attacks with the group, but now he’s kind of excited to see him in action on the court. Kid’s got a good heart and with how strongly he adores the group, Eddie knows the passion has to show when he plays. 

So he leaves with a smile on his face and his heart full. He really is lucky to have these people in his life. 

~

“Uncle Wayne! Just the man I wanted to see!” 

Just like he expected, Eddie walks in to the trailer to see Wayne watching a game on the couch. It’s his day off and usually that means Eddie lets him have the trailer to relax until dinner time and then they eat together. Eddie’s cut into a couple hours of what he likes to call ‘Wayne’s TV Time’ but he knows his uncle won’t mind. 

After toeing off his shoes and hanging his vest, Eddie plops down next to Wayne. The older man jostles with the movement but doesn’t say anything as he turns the TV down. All of a sudden, Eddie is nervous. He knows Wayne won’t judge him for asking, especially once he knows why he needs to know all about baseball. But he also hates admitting he hurt someone, unintentional or not.

“Out with it, Ed.” 

Eddie stops messing with his rings at his uncle’s voice. “I need your help with something.” 

“You know I always have your back, what’s going on?” 

And it all spills out. Trying to play D&D with Steve, the conversation after, his goal to understand Steve more before apologizing properly.

“Sounds like you’re already on track. Whatcha need me for?” 

“Well, I’m so glad you asked. IneedyoutoteachmeallaboutbaseballsothatIcantalktoSteveaboutit.”

“How about you try that while breathing?”

“I need you to teach me about baseball so that I can talk to Steve about it.”

~

Thankfully Wayne has the patience of a saint because Eddie asks him a question nearly every time he goes to explain something.

“How do you know it’s in the strike zone?”

“There’s different ways to throw the ball? And it’s all based off of one guy’s hand code on which one to do?”

“So what you’re saying is that every player has different ability scores that make them better players in different positions?” 

“You can steal bases?”

“How come a run isn’t a point?”

“A top and bottom inning? Kinky. Whose idea was that?” 

~

Wayne’s been asleep for a couple of hours when Eddie hears a soft knock at the trailer door. He’d heard a car pull up a few minutes before but just figured it was one of the neighbors finally getting home. He definitely wasn’t expecting to see Steve on his doorstep. 

“Steve?” “Eddie-”

“Come in -” “I just want to say-”

Steve huffs a laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners for a second before a small frown overtakes his face. The shadows of the porch make the expression deeper, somber almost.

“Come in for a minute?” He sounds pleading to his own ears, but it doesn’t stop Eddie from backing into the trailer – trusting Steve to follow him to his room. His room is a bit of a mess, clothes on the floor and a couple boxes still left unpacked from when they moved. There’s a a few notebooks laying open on his bed, notes he’d taken today and connections he’s tried to make. He wasn’t quite ready for this talk with Steve but he’s more prepared than he was the other day.

“So, Eddie...I just wanted to say I was sorry.” 

Eddie whips around to face Steve, notebooks now in a stack in his hands. 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

Steve’s brows furrow at Eddie’s words, confusion and indignation filling his eyes. 

“What?”

“Only you would apologize for something that’s not your fault. Unbelievable. Steve, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hut your feelings the other day. I was just so excited for you to be playing with us that I didn’t think about you being nervous about it.” 

The indignation in Steve’s eyes fades and all he’s left with is the eyes of a sad puppy dog. He almost looks lost, shoulders hunched in slightly to make him appear smaller. 

“What does that matter? I still ruined the fun.” Somehow, he makes himself even smaller. Eddie’s stomach turns at the sight. Steve shouldn’t be so practiced in making himself small and Eddie’s going to do everything he can to get him out of that habit.

“No you didn’t. Us being pig-headed ruined the fun. Stop looking at me like that, come here.” His mattress sinks when he sits and he pats the bedding next to him. 

“I mean it, come here. I wanna show you something. It’s what I’ve been working on these couple of days.”

Finally, Steve comes to sit next to him. Unlike so many times before he’s stiff next to Eddie, not letting himself relax. 

“So I’m gonna be honest here. I was really confused when you left the other night. Some of the stuff you said didn’t seem like it was really about me. But that doesn’t matter. You know, why?” 

A shake of his head is the only response Eddie gets.

“Because at the end of the day, we made you feel like you couldn’t ask questions. I made you feel bad too. So I might’ve reached out to a couple of people for help. If it’s one thing that Wayne’s taught me, it’s to apologize. I talked to Buckley first.”

Finally, a small smile from Steve that stays there. 

“She pointed out something I should’ve been able to figure out on my own. We all have our own interests and you always make space for it. But we don’t ever do the same for you.” 

“Ed-”

“Don’t fight me on this. You always let us talk about what we want, you always host for us; you always look out for us. It’s about time more than one of us takes the time to do it for you too. Anyway, so then I talked with the other sports nerds in my life: Lucas and Wayne. And I came up with this!”

Steve hasn’t stopped smiling which is giving Eddie more confidence by the minute. He grabs at the notebooks he moved earlier, flipping back a couple of pages before leaning into Steve’s space. At the top of the page he’s written ‘D&D vs Baseball’. To Steve, the notes probably look crazy. There’s a couple doodles of dice and baseballs around the page and his writing is messy from where he tried connecting the two while laying in his bed.

“What is this?” Gently, Steve takes the notebook from Eddie’s hands, fingers tracing the rough sketch of a baseball field. 

“If you want to give D&D another try, I think I found a better way of describing it.” Eddie’s full on grinning now, knows his dimples are exposed with his happiness. “But, if you never wanna play again I get that too.”

“Eddie.” Only five letters, but Steve still chokes on them slightly. His hazel eyes are filled with tears and the smile drops from Eddie’s face.

“Wait – no, I didn’t mean to make you cry! Was this a bad idea?” He goes to take the notebook back but Steve tightens his grip. Honey eyes lock with Eddie’s even as a tear falls. 

“No, this is so nice.” Steve looks at the notes again and brushes at the tears on his cheeks. “I don’t know what all these notes mean, but it looks like you might be on to something.” 

Steve smiles at Eddie and sets the notebook to the side. And then Eddie’s being hugged. Steve can’t be comfortable, twisted and leaning like he is – but Eddie hugs back anyway. Wraps his arms around Steve and rests a gentle hand on the back of Steve’s head where he’s tucked into Eddie’s neck. Steve squeezes around his middle once and then backs up, tears no longer falling but his smile remaining. 

“Think you can try and explain these notes to me?”

~

Wanted to tag: @adverbally , @ravenfrog , and @blossomingblueberries. Thanks for your support/interest in another part! I hope this did it justice! 💛

Now officially with a third part! pt. 3

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Near Death

A/N- Merry Christmas Eve to those of you that celebrate 🖤 i feel like i’m definitely posting this too late but it’s the first fic i’ve finished in a WHILE and i miss writing so much 😭

Summary- Eddie’s been trying all summer to get your attention, and he’s planning on getting it by any means necessary. Even if that means putting himself in danger.

Genre- Hurt/comfort (i think?), fluff

Warnings- mentions of drowning, CPR, giving mouth to mouth

Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @esme-viridian @gvf23 @wheels-of-despair

Word Count- 3.9k

“You can’t be serious…” Jeff said to Eddie, a shocked expression on his and the other boys faces as they approached the lake.

“Oh, i’m serious,” Eddie smirked as they started to hear the shouts and laughter as they saw the edge of the sand, “and it’ll work.”

“Yeah, but the only downside is that you could die.” Gareth laughed.

“That’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make.”

Over the summer, Eddie and the boys decided they might as well put their free time to good use over summer break and volunteer to help out at the local summer camp. Not because they wanted to, but because it was basically the only place that would let them to as little work as possible and still have all of them on the same off days. Not to mention, Eddie got to see a lot more of you there.

He didn’t think girls like you were interested in volunteering at summer camps, but that first day he saw you down by the lake, sitting at the end of the pier, lathering sunscreen on your body in your little red bathing suit keeping watch over the campers and counselors as they jumped and splashed in the water.

He wanted you so bad. If only he could get your attention.

You’d smile and wave at him in passing just like you did with all the others at camp, but Eddie always let his gaze linger on you just a little longer afterwards. He didn’t know what it was, but something about you just made him so eager to break open your quiet shell and see the real you.

You weren’t the type of girl to be rude to any of the other counselors, for the most part everyone liked you quite a bit. You were just quiet, kept to yourself, but you were confident in your loneliness. You were never seen with any of the other cliques of counselors, and you liked it that way.

Eddie and the boys found a small area to place their towels and clothes on the sand, of course with the perfect view of you at the end of the pier.

“So let me get this straight,” Grant started as him and the boys stripped down to their swim trunks, “you’re going to pretend to drown so that (y/n) can ‘save you’ and do the whole mouth-to-mouth thing? You’re going to kill yourself for a kiss that isn’t even a kiss?”

Eddie shrugged as he pulled his hair back,

“Yep, pretty much.”

“I think this is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had…” Jeff smirked.

“Fine. But when it works, you can all go fuck yourselves.” Eddie said with a smile, rolling his eyes as he separated himself from the group.

They all shook their heads in disbelief, not sure wether they should laugh or be worried about this idiotic scheme. Either way, it was going to be awful fun to watch.

Eddie slowly approached the pier, making sure to keep out of the way of the campers running to jump off the side into the designated deep end. Everyone knew that past the pier was a drop off, going down almost 20 feet with god knows what resting at the bottom of the lake. He knew that if he wasn’t careful with his plan, he’d be stuck down there too.

He could feel his palms get sweaty as he got closer and closer to you, hearing your giggle as you watched the kids do their weird stunts to get your attention as they jumped off the pier.

You were laid back, your legs dangling off the end with your toes in the water as your arms ere outstretched behind you to keep you held up, hair down, sunglasses over your face. You could feel his presence behind you and smiled to him as he approached closer,

“Hi Eddie.” You said to him with a smile.

“Hey (y/n).” He smiled back, looking down at you and hoping your sunglasses could hide your eyes well enough not to see the pink on his cheeks, “How are you?”

“Good.” You said with a giggle, taking little glances back and forth between him and the kids splashing in the water, “You?”

“Good.” He smiled, obviously a bit nervous, though even he wasn’t sure if it was because he was with you or because he knew he would be faking his own death within the next 10 minutes. “Do you mind if i sit with you?”

You shook your head and moved to the side, giving him a little more room to sit at the edge of the pier with you,

“I don’t mind. Scared of the deep end?” You joked, giggling as he took his seat next to you, his feet in the water next to yours.

“‘Deep end’, what, it’s maybe 6 feet?” He watched another kid run and jump into the water next to him, a few drops of water landing onto your legs.

“Just about.” You turned your head, looking at the water past the rope blocking off the drop off, “It gets really deep over there though, i think close to 20 feet.”

“Damn, really?” Eddie slowly stood back up and stepped carefully over to the end of the pier, nervous, but ready to put his plan into action.

“Be careful!” You told him sternly, “It drops off almost as soon as the pier ends.”

“Really?” Eddie slowly leaned over, peeking over the edge with a smirk on his lips, “Doesn’t look that deep-“ Eddie cut himself off with a shout, not expecting his plan to go awry.

He had planned everything out from start to finish. Sitting next to you at the pier, having a little chat, falling into the deep end and having you dive in and rescue him, pulling him back onto shore and giving him the kiss of life. He didn’t expect a kid to slip up on the pier behind him and push him into the lake.

The fall caught him off guard, and as soon as he hit the water it was like every thought he’d ever had about swimming had completely left him.

You gasped as you watched Eddie disappear beneath the murky water, quickly consoling the kid that ran into him, assuring him that you knew it was an accident before yelling for all the other kids lined up to do their jumps to get off of the pier. The other counselors on shore called the kids back into their groups to do a head count.

You stood at the end of the pier and tossed off your sunglasses, jumping into the water after Eddie.

It was cold, murky, and you knew it was bad for your eyes to keep them open underwater but you didn’t care. All you needed to do was get him back up safely. Thank god he wore the trunks with the yellow flowers on them.

You quickly swam down to him, grabbing his arm and keeping a tight grip on it as you swam back up towards the surface.

As soon as you broke the surface of the water you swam to the end of the pier, doing your best to lift him up onto the end with the help of the few counselors that came to your aid,

“Pull him up,” You said as you caught your breath, climbing back up as they lay Eddie out onto your towel, “lay him on his back.” You crawled over beside Eddie, pushing back the counselors to give you some room.

A wave of anxiety rushed through your veins as you looked down at Eddie. No movement, no motion. It was terrifying.

You didn’t want to lose someone like him.

“Eddie?” You spoke softly to him as you knelt at his side, “Eddie can you hear me?”

No response.

You reached your hand out to his neck, feeling for his pulse for a moment, but there was nothing.

Your instincts moved you quickly, both hands clasped together on his chest, pushing back and forth, up and down at a constant and quick rhythm. With every 30 pulses you would put your ear to his chest, listening for a heartbeat, but after the third round you knew that it wasn’t helping much. He needed to breathe.

You moved quickly, tilting his head back and moving your hands to keep him stable, one hand holding beneath his chin to keep his mouth open while the other held his nose shut. Everyone was crowded at the beach as they watched you work, eerily quiet. You couldn’t imagine how Eddie would feel after it was all over.

You took a few quick breaths before leaning down to him, your mouth over his, trying so hard to break that barrier and push the air back into his lungs, swapping back to chest compressions after each breath, hoping and praying that one of them would be the one to bring him back to consciousness.

It was agonizing, and though you couldn’t tell how much time had gone by since you started, it was like time stood still. You weren’t stopping until you knew Eddie was back, until you knew he was safe.

With one final breath, you leaned down and pushed the air into his lungs, thankfully for the last time.

You felt his body jerk beneath yours and turned him onto his side, and you’d never been so relieved to see him coughing up the water that was held in his lungs.

He was gasping for air, taking deep breaths as he slowly moved onto his back, and you could hear the crowd of campers and their respective counselors applauding as a few of them rushed to quickly move Eddie back off of the pier and down to the first aid cabin. At least he’d be safe there.

You stood up with him as two of the counselors slung his arms over their shoulders, propping him up and walking him carefully back to camp. Your hand never left his the whole way back, and though he still wasn’t strong enough to speak, you could feel him gently squeeze your hand in his. Almost as if he was trying to say ‘thank you’.

You stayed by his side the whole walk to the first aid cabin, but Eddie stayed silent. You couldn’t tell if he was still in shock, embarrassed, or scared of the whole ordeal. And you wouldn’t blame him if he was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few hours since the incident, and by this point everyone had nearly forgotten about the ordeal from earlier.

The kids were playing their last few games outside before getting ready for bed, their counselors were either keeping an eye on them or getting the cabins ready, but you and the boys had been worried sick about Eddie.

He hadn’t spoken a word since the pier earlier, at least not to you, and it scared you to death not knowing how he was. All the camp nurse said was that he needed rest, he didn’t have any brain damage from the lack of oxygen but he would have some chest pains from the constant compressions, other than that he would be completely fine within the next day or so. Still, you worried for him.

The boys were nice enough to keep watch over him to let you head back to your cabin and change out of your bathing suit, and you were more than grateful to finally be back in your ugly camp uniform.

As for right now, you each were sitting quietly outside the first aid cabin, just waiting for any word from the nurse that it would be alright for you to go in and see him again. You knew he needed rest, you just didn’t expect him to nap for this long.

“You think he’s just not able to talk or something?” Jeff asked no one in particular.

“Maybe?” You said back, “He could still be in shock from the whole thing.”

“From over 5 hours ago?” Grant chimed in.

“I don’t know… I just hope he’s alright.”

You fidgeted with the ends of your shorts, just needing to keep yourself occupied while you waited for the nurse to tell you he was talking again. It’s what you were all waiting for. And it was like agony to not know how Eddie was.

You never would’ve considered you to be close with one another, you weren’t necessarily friends per se, you usually saw him with his group of campers like all the other counselors and you showed him the same kindness you show to everyone else. You’d heard of his reputation from a few of the other girls, but he didn’t seem anything like how others would describe him.

Eddie and his friends were just normal teenagers. They were great with the kids, they goofed off on their off days, they did all the same things that every other teenager did and you could see through that tough exterior that they were all just big kids too. And you admired that about them.

As soon as you heard the door creak open, your heads shot up, seeing the nurse peering out from it,

“He’s feeling a bit better, you can come in and see him if you like.”

Without any hesitation, the four of you stood up from your chairs and rushed to get in to see him, and though Eddie was definitely looking better, he was definitely still a little shaken up from the incident. The boys huddled at the sides of the little bed Eddie was laying on and you took the empty chair next to the bed, looking down at him with a little smile, but you could see that his eyes were still slightly shut.

“Hey man, how you feeling?” Grant asked.

“A little sore in the chest, and it hurts a little to talk and breathe but the nurse said that i should be fine in a day or two.” Eddie shrugged, giving you all a slight smile to show that he was alright.

It was a small gesture, but it definitely made you all feel better about his condition.

“Are they gonna send you home?” Gareth asked.

“They said it was all up to me. The nurse said i wasn’t out long enough to cause any brain damage, and i don’t feel like there’s any damage up there, so i’m going to stick around.”

“Did they call Wayne and tell him what happened?” Jeff chimed in.

“Yeah, they called him as soon as an ambulance got here. The paramedics talked to him on the phone for a bit to explain it all, and i’d prefer them explain it to him rather than me telling him about it, he’d kill me…”

You looked over and saw the boys snickering at the end of the bed, and you furrowed your brows in confusion, knowing that you were clearly missing some piece of this puzzle.

“What do you mean?” You asked him, and as he turned to you, you could see his face go white.

“We’ll give you some space and let you talk it out.” Gareth said, him and the other two slowly making their way out of the first aid cabin, but you could see Eddie making eyes at them just begging to stay.

You looked to him as soon as the door closed,

“Why were they laughing? What happened that i don’t know about?”

Eddie was silent, and his gaze moved from yours to down into his lap, a look of shame on his face followed it.

“Eddie, you could’ve died, this is serious. What happened?”

He groaned to himself, knowing that he had to tell you at some point. And he’d rather have him tell you than one of the guys.

“You have to promise you won’t be mad…”

A little smile came to your lips hearing the familiar line said to you by so many campers after sneaking a bucket of frogs into their cabin or trying to sneak off to the lake for a swim,

“I won’t promise you anything, but if you tell me the truth i won’t be as mad. Depending on what it is you did.”

Eddie took a deep breath, his hands wiping over his face to knock him back into reality.

“Ok, um…” You could hear his voice trembling, and carefully reached out to hold his hand as it lay back at his side.

“Just tell me Eddie, please.”

He looked up into your eyes, and though he was terrified to tell you the truth, he knew he needed to.

“I like you (y/n). i like you a lot… And i had this stupid plan where i thought it would be a good idea to pretend to drown so you could save me and i’d get the chance to kiss you. It was the dumbest thing i could think of and i didn’t think it could go wrong but… I didn’t think of how scary it would be if something did go wrong.”

Your eyes widened, but no words could come to mind for describing how you felt. You sat back in the chair and your hand slowly slipped from his as you stared at the wall in front of you, and you could tell that your reaction wasn’t one he was expecting, but it wasn’t one you were expecting either.

He had the best intentions, you knew that for a fact, but the fact that he decided to do something as idiotic as pretending to drown just for a little bit of affection from you took you back. You weren’t angry, you were upset, but angry wasn’t the word for it. But it did hurt your feelings that he felt his best course of action was to pull a stunt like this just to get something as small as a kiss from you.

“You know…” You started, your eyes slowly moving to look down at your hands in your lap, “I think that’s the dumbest thing any guy has ever done to get my attention.”

Eddie pursed his lips and looked down in shame.

“But, i will say,” You sighed and looked up to him with a small, reassuring smile, “i don’t think you meant for it to go this way. I know you had good intentions Eddie, but it was a stupid idea, what made you think you had to do something like pretend to drown to get my attention?”

Eddie shrugged, eyes still down in his lap, unsure of what to say.

Scratch that.

He knew exactly what to say. He just didn’t want to make it any worse for himself. The one thing he wouldn’t want to do was end the day with not only a near death experience, but with you hating him too.

“I don’t know… And i’m sorry. I think it was just my boy brain convincing me that in order to grab people’s attention i have to pull these idiotic stunts, without thinking about what could go wrong… I’m sorry for putting you through that, and i understand if you hate me, but i do like you (y/n). I think the rejection scared me so much i put everything else in the back of my mind just to be able to talk to you without being scared to…”

His boy brain was definitely to blame for this.

And it was unfortunate that you wanted so badly to be mad at him, you would’ve been just as angry had anyone else pulled a stunt like this, but you just couldn’t find that anger.

Something inside you was trying so hard to bring up that anger, but seeing how guilty he felt somehow pushed it back down.

His apologetic puppy dog eyes, his pursed lips keeping him from saying anything else to keep his position from getting any worse, the boy nearly died and yet he was still profusely apologizing for what he did. His guilt somehow made it better.

But you couldn’t stand to see him so shaken up and not offer him any kind of comfort.

You slowly leaned forward, one arm wrapping around his shoulders as the other draped over his chest, your head resting on top of his in a soft embrace. His hands carefully moved up from his lap, gently holding onto the arm over his chest. You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell there was a smile tugging at his lips.

“Don’t let this hug fool you, i’m still angry at you.” You loosened your arms around him, lifting your head and carefully looking down to him.

“I know.” Eddie said as he looked up to you, “You have every right to be.”

You smiled down to him, reassuring him that though you were angry now, there was definitely going to be an opportunity for him to make it up to you.

“I’m just glad you’re ok.” You slowly leaned your head down, placing a gentle kiss onto his forehead. You could’ve sworn you felt him tense up as soon as your lips touched him.

It was quiet for a moment between both of you, but it was a comfortable silence. Eddie wanted to say something, anything, but he felt that for now he would enjoy the silence with you.

He could ruin your moment with his big mouth another time.

You both heard a gentle knock on the door to the little room you were in, and you both looked up to it to see the boys once more.

“Alright if we come in?” Grant asked, peeking his head in through the door.

“Yeah, go right ahead.” You said with a smile, slowly standing from the chair you were sitting in and straightening out the little gym shorts you had on, “I was going to head out and check on my kids, see how they’re doing after all that.”

The boys made their way back into the room, and you could see a few snacks hidden in their hands and some cans of pop from the vending machines hidden not all that well in their pockets. And you couldn’t tell which one of them it was, but you could definitely recognize the smell of weed on one of them as they walked past. You smiled to yourself. Eddie definitely needed something to help calm his nerves after that, and weed sounded like the perfect remedy.

“I’ll see you guys later. I hope you feel better soon Eddie.” You smiled to them and gave them a polite wave goodbye, shutting the door behind you. Though you could hear them talking as soon as you heard the door click.

You couldn’t exactly make out who was saying what but you could definitely hear them talking about you. And you figured it the perfect moment to finally make the situation about you.

You peeked your head in through the door and the boys all turned to you,

“And Eddie? If you wanted to kiss me so badly, you could’ve just asked.”

You gave him one last smile and figured it was right time for his friends to see him red faced.

You were certain that for the rest of the summer, the two of you would be the talk of camp. But it didn’t bother you much.

What’s so bad about having a rumor about yourself and a hot guy?

You were just hoping he wouldn’t pull anymore dumb stunts to get your attention. All he needed was to be himself.

It’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted.

(this was written for my summer camp AU event, if you’d like to request a fic or HCs for it please let me know! 🖤)

[l0serdust]

courtney love, frances bean, kim deal, and flea photographed by jeff kravitz backstage at pier 48 in seattle, washington. december 13th, 1993

[jo-harrington]

Chuck (Eddie Munson)

Summary: It's just a regular closing shift at Benny's. Easy peasy. Nothing bad could possibly happen.

Word Count: 3.5k

Characters: Eddie, Jeff, Benny Hammond

Themes/Warnings: Boys will be boys, friendship, smutty intrusive thoughts, Masturbation(?), Food Fucking, Eddie has an unspecified romantic partner (could be Steve, could be Reader, could be anyone that's not what this story is about), Song Fic, What's a Little Psychological Torture Between Friends…

Note: You know what? In true unhinged fashion, I had to write this for @courtingchaos on her birthday and not only that but give her some credit here. This was born from us being stuck in a car on Lake Shore Drive, hangry and a little slap happy, on the way to Navy Pier after I witnessed something that was probably very similar (in the most innocuous way) at a suburban Burger King.

Meg, you are my life. My world. You are my Cheese. Burger. And this one's for you. Happy Birthday.

Thank you AGAIN to @dr-aculaaa for the beta and @deathbecomesthem for some of the diner lingo. Disclaimer that I never worked at a diner so this is probably horribly inaccurate...but just suspend your sense of disbelief if you have.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

If anyone wants to get the full effect of this fic, you need to put Mr. Roboto on repeat for the duration of your time reading.

---

5:55PM

Jeff stared at the clock as he wiped down the counter.

Every tick of the second hand had him gritting his teeth a little more, enough where he should probably worry that he was gonna crack a tooth. All because Eddie was late for his closing shift.

Their closing shift.

And not just late, late again. For the third time in as many days they worked together.

If he even showed up.

Now Jeff wasn't one to complain. Shit, Eddie was the one to suggest that he apply at Benny's in the first place and put a good word in for his best friend.

Ben was getting a little older and wanted to enjoy what was left of his youth while he still had it, instead of solely being stuck behind his grill for the rest of his life. An extra waitress on the weekends, an extra line cook during the week, and the business ran smoothly, even when he decided to take a day off.

And Eddie was pretty much employee of the month, knowing all of the regulars orders like the back of his hand.

Until Jeff started getting scheduled alongside him.

Until Eddie started going on dates, and started "going steady" with someone.

Until Eddie started playing hooky to go and suck face and god knows what else while parked up at the quarry.

Jeff let his fist slam against the counter as another minute ticked away, only for the bell of the door to chime and Eddie walk in, shrugging his apron on and shedding his leather jacket in a flustered rush.

"Sorry I'm late," he said with an easy smile on kiss-swollen lips. Jeff rolled his eyes at the sight and at the apology. "Oh come on, I promise I'll be on time tomorrow. Scout's honor." Eddie crossed his finger over his heart.

"You weren't a scout," Jeff retorted.

"Hey now," Eddie teased, starting in on one of his typical Munson-isms that usually ended up in forgiveness or forgetfulness. "I actually was. For one day before some snot-nosed kid pushed me over and I accidentally said fuck. Then they asked me to leave. But once a scout, always a scout."

Jeff hummed and turned on his heel to push back into the kitchen and start prepping for the dinner rush.

The thing was...they worked really well together. They had a good routine of noting what tasks needed to be done throughout the night. It's not like the diner was ever that busy on weeknights and Benny had been doing it alone for years, but it was nice to have someone you got along with at work.

Well it was nice...when they were there. It was nice when your work buddy was actually reliable and helped you out, which made Jeff feel bad because Eddie was his friend, his best friend. But Jeff could let Eddie's luck and charisma let him slide through his responsibilities.

So Eddie was about to find out what kind of hell it was when you were in the weeds alone.

---

Jeff had gone out to take an order when the phone rang.

Eddie grabbed the receiver with a quick "yello'" only to get a familiar voice rasping on the other end.

"Can I speak to Jeffrey please?" came the reply from someone dramatically sounding like Edith Bunker.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Gareth, I know it's you," he sighed.

"No, this is Jeff's grandma," the younger boy kept up the ruse, snickering a little at the end. "I need to talk to him."

Eddie let his head roll back on his shoulders as he heard the stifled giggling of his friend over the line, and then he peeked his head out of the passthrough.

"Jeff!" he called out. "Your grandma's calling."

Jeff donned an exaggerated and fake look of concern; he jogged across the diner and grabbed the receiver from Eddie's hand.

"Hello?" he answered and Eddie watched as his expressions got more animated, as did his voice. "Grandma? Oh no, what happened...an accident? You need help? You need me to leave work and come home right away?"

"What?!" Eddie shrieked and reached out to snatch the receiver back from Jeff's hand. He placed it against his ear but only heard Gareth laughing and then the ring tone. He was about to ask Jeff what the hell was going on, only to find him pulling his apron over his head. "Come on now, where do you think you're going?"

"I've gotta leave," Jeff shook his head frantically. "It's my grandma, she's in the hospital, I've gotta go."

"Jeff, come on."

"There's no one else to take care of her."

"Seriously. Quit it."

"You'll be ok by yourself tonight right?" Jeff ignored everything Eddie said and looked at him expectantly as he dug his hand in his pockets for his car keys.

For a moment, Eddie felt the panic rise within him; he figured Jeff was a little upset that he bailed the past few nights but...seriously it wasn't anything that Jeff couldn't handle.

Was his friend really that mad?

"Listen I'm sorry I bailed on work a few times this week," he apologized, but Jeff just shook his head and pulled out a roll of quarters.

Then another.

Then another.

And the panic Eddie had faded into curiosity, then realization.

No, Jeff wasn't mad; he was annoyed.

"Hey listen, it's just for tonight so I can check on my grandma, you'll be ok," Jeff explained as he walked over to the old jukebox in the corner of the dining room. He began loading the old machine up with quarters and punching buttons in rapid succession. "I'll even make it up to you. You can have all the tips in the tip jar from before you got here earlier and I'll put on some music that you'll like. Hey look, Ben took your advice and updated this a little.

"He even has your favorite Ed," Jeff glanced over his shoulder. "Styx."

Eddie groaned in loathing this time, thinking of the power ballads and synthesizer nightmares he was about to endure because his friend was gonna get back at him.

The Grand Illusion. Or worse Paradise Theater.

The records inside of the machine shifted as they queued up tracks for the next however-long Jeff had paid for.

"Don't do this Jeff," Eddie pleaded as his friend grabbed his jacket from the coatrack by the door. "I'll never skip work again. I promise. Just stay."

"But my grandma needs me Eddie..." he whined and then winked at Eddie before running out the door. "Have fun."

Eddie sighed and accepted defeat as the door shut and Jeff was gone, all while the sparkly synthesized voice began amidst electronic fanfare...

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto...

---

7PM

You know what? It didn't start out that bad.

"You're wondering who I am," Eddie sang along and bopped to the beat as he flipped burgers on the flat top. "Secret, secret, I've got a secret."

He had food to cook and orders to take and he fell right back into the routine of those short staffed nights when Benny started to realize how much he valued his personal time, but right before Jeff was hired.

It would be fine.

And there was a little musical accompaniment? Even better.

He figured that he might start loading the machine up with quarters before his shifts from now on, instead leaving it up to the chance of the customers.

"Machine or Mannequin?" He did a little spin. "Secret secret, I've got a secret."

Eddie hadn't even realized that the song that started out the night--Mr. Roboto--repeated itself until he got back to the kitchen, and then it repeated again.

And again.

He had to admit it was growing on him though. Like a cancer, but still growing. So he either needed to adapt or it would kill him. The lyrics were catchy, he could dance to it a little, and there was a good beat that he could almost headbang to if he tried.

It wasn't even that he hated Styx, he just hated what Styx stood for. Mainstream popular music. It was commercial and sanitized. Yeah Babe wasn't that bad of a song. And neither was this one. Shit...if he really thought about it, was the band even really that popular? They were underdogs, and he always rooted for an underdog.

"With parts made in Japan," he sang into his spatula and slapped slices of cheese onto his patties for dramatic effect. "I am thee modern man!"

---

8PM

So if you see me, acting strangely, don't be surprised.

There was a little bell at the pass that got hit whenever an order was up.

Of course, with Eddie being the only one working it didn’t need to get hit.

Still, every time Eddie passed it, he just had to tap his hand on the bell along with whatever verse or instrumental was playing.

I’m a man who needed someone and somewhere to hide.

It wasn’t getting to him.

No. Not at all.

It was just a graduation from him playing air guitar with a broom and drumming on the counter with spoons.

Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding ding ding.

Eddie tapped at the bell with both hands at the crescendo and then went to the walk-in to scream.

Nothing to worry about.

---

9PM

I’ve come to help you with your problems, so we can be free.

“Hey can you change the song at all? This one’s been repeating for a while.”

Eddie smiled tightly at the guy at the head of the long rectangular table and then dropped the blue plate special down in front of him with a clatter.

“It’s broken,” he explained, not wanting to get into it.

Several customers had asked already; it was getting as annoying as people who said they were tipping with kindness. Obviously if he could get another song on the jukebox, he would.

How many fucking quarters had Jeff put in there?

“Could you unplug it? Plug it back in again?”

He’d thought of that too.

But wasn’t it just his luck that they lived in the do-it-yourself amateur handyman Midwest…and the damn thing was wired into the wall itself.

And he really didn’t want to cut the line and have to explain to Benny how an electrical fire burnt down his diner.

“You know what?” Eddie took a slow, calming breath. “This is actually…my favorite song." There was a disbelieving blink. "A-and it’s my birthday.”

The withering look he received made him second guess burning down the place; it actually didn’t seem so bad after all. He could deal with Benny.

I’m just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control. Beyond my control. We all need control.

---

10PM

I am the modern man, who hides behind a mask…

Eddie wore his Freak label proudly.

He accepted it, everyone else accepted it.

But maybe this music was getting to him a little bit as he started noticing of the different inanimate objects around Benny’s that he could potentially fuck.

That was a level of Freak that he really hadn’t embraced yet.

So no one else can see my true identity!

Well, it was sort of always there simmering beneath the surface. He had been a horny teenager and was now a horny young man. There was always a question about what objects he could stick his dick into.

But he’d tried to curb that curiosity after the pool noodle incident.

Now though…he was far enough gone that things were starting to appeal to him again. And it scared him a little bit for those thoughts to pop up during work.

Not enough to stop though.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. Domo. Domo.

First it was a bagel with the perfect hole.

Actually, was it even the music causing this? How dare that bagel look so damn fuckable. Cream cheese wouldn’t be the best lube, he had to admit. But he didn’t mind trying. Unfortunately that bagel was needed for someone’s sober-up sandwich.

Then there was a hole in the vinyl of one of the booths. He stared at it every time he brought out an order or bussed a table. Eventually he couldn’t help himself and he lightly ran two fingers over it and then plunged them inside the hole, like a lover would, only to find the edges were jagged and rough…and he was disappointed that it wouldn’t be the most pleasurable experience.

He wasn’t one to say no to a little bit of teeth when getting his dick sucked but that wasn’t what he was looking for right now.

At one point he even considered fucking the jukebox itself. Get it to shut up once and for all.

The logistics weren’t right.

Where would he even put his cock? Just rub the head of him along the coin slot while he jerked off? Pass.

His depravity needed to be put on hold though, because as he was in the walk-in trying to cut a channel into a head of iceberg that might be the perfect fit for him, he spotted a tub of hamburger with a label in Benny’s chicken scratch saying “discard” with the date.

He froze and let his thoughts swirl before he shook his head and put the iceberg down. He slammed his hand against his forehead as though that would make his internal monologue right itself.

Because what the hell was he doing?

Regardless of the absolute torture he was enduring, he was still at work and had a job to do.

Why was he trying to fuck a head of lettuce? Or fingering a hole in a booth. No, he was absolutely losing his mind, he needed to control himself, he needed to get back to work.

He was about to exit the walk-in when he glanced back at the tub.

“Can't forget that tonight,” he muttered to himself as a reminder.

Then back into the kitchen he went.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. Domo. Domo.

---

11PM

“Thank you very much Mr. Roboto,” Eddie muttered as he dropped maraschino cherries into milkshakes. His voice was ragged, desperate. Pleading. “For doing the job nobody wants to.”

“Thank you very much Mr. Roboto,” he deadpanned as he numbly swept the floor. “For helping me escape when I needed to.”

Thank you.

Thank you.

I wanna thank you.

Please thank you.

Thank you thank you.

Thank you thank you.

“Thank you,” Eddie smiled, as the joy finally die inside of his body as he rang out the last customers. But it was rapidly born once again as he waved goodbye. “Thank you thank you!”

---

12AM

The doors were locked, the lights in the dining room closed.

And Eddie stood in the kitchen with a lit cigarette in his mouth as he concentrated on the task at hand.

The problem was plain to see. Too much technology. The jukebox still played out on the floor.

Machines to save our lives? No. Machines dehumanize.

He shouldn’t be fucking the jukebox or a head of lettuce or a bagel. No. He needed something warm and malleable.

Living.

Or well…close enough.

It was the perfect idea! Instead of taking it right to the dumpster, he’d taken the tub of ground chuck out of the walk-in and let it get to room temp at the end of his shift, and now he was standing there molding it into the right shape.

He was ready and aching after palming himself in anticipation. He’d meticulously wrapped his hard cock in plastic wrap, for lack of a better option. He needed this.

He deserved this.

Why hadn’t he ever thought of this before?

The time has come at last…

He put out the cigarette in the meat then lined up with the channel he'd crafted. He hissed as he sunk in—synthesized angels sung all around him, guitars strumming in harmony—and finally felt relief for the first time all night.

Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret.

His hips rocked in time with the beat, driving deeper and deeper. He felt the slightest bit of cold when he finally bottomed out, the center of the Chuck not entirely at room temp yet. It was an unexpected thrill and he shuddered as pleasure shot through him.

He let his head fall back and he laughed with the feeling, laughed uncontrollably, and the sound echoed through the diner, forever scarring the walls with wicked glee.

To throw away this mask.

It was strange, fucking what was essentially a mass of viscous sludge. Not bad, just strange. Not entirely wet but not dry either. Maybe it was perfect actually, something he never knew he needed. Just for him. A little slice of cheese...er, heaven...just for him.

Especially when he formed meat to suit his desires as it shifted.

That feral grin stayed on his lips as he worked himself to completion, as he pumped mercilessly.

Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret.

And somewhere in all of the hubbub, Eddie came to the conclusion that although it wasn’t perfect, he could get used to it if he had to.

Because he had to.

He'd be stuck here forever, lost in Dennis DeYoung's vocal prison until the end of time.

Now everyone can see my true identity.

He thrust harder and faster, panting and kneading and clenching until all he knew was the meat and secret secrets and his own depravity as he spiraled downwards further into insanity.

I'm Kilroy.

He felt it coming.

Kilroy.

Cumming.

Kilroy.

It exploded out of him with those last few emphasized beats of the synthesizer. He felt the cling wrap bulge with his spend, felt the tingles along his spine and through his limbs as his orgasm shot through his body.

He leaned over, satiated, until his nose brushed the meat in sensuous exhaustion.

Kilroy.

He could hear his pulse in his ears, along with a buzzing din of tinnitus, and the ticking of a clock out in the dining room.

But where he expected the beginning of the next round of torture, Eddie only heard silence.

He breathed heavy, broken breaths. Gulps of air that felt like too much oxygen and not enough at the same time. He felt lightheaded.

It was over.

His punishment finally over.

He closed his eyes and thanked whatever God or Demon gifted him with this boon, and then his eyes shot open and he stood straight up as he stared at the mess he made.

"Fuck."

---

The Next Day, 5PM

Jeff felt like the cat that ate the cream when he drove to work the following day.

He felt a little bad about what he’d done to Eddie, and he had all the intention to make it back to Benny’s around 7 or 8, but Gareth had convinced him not to.

“Come on,” he’d told Jeff. “You know Eddie’s gonna get a good laugh out of it.”

“Yeah! Besides,” Dave interjected. “Shame on him for leaving you up shit’s creek so much. Hopefully this’ll teach him a lesson.”

And Jeff agreed with them.

He and Eddie were friends but that didn’t mean Eddie could walk all over him.

He was glad to see the van parked in Benny’s lot when he arrived for his shift, and as far as he could tell, everything was normal when he walked in.

Ben was at the grill and Eddie at the counter.

Actually, everything looked better than normal. Everything in the diner looked squeaky clean and under the smells of cooked food, there was a tinge of the disinfectant they used to deep clean.

“You must’ve had the slowest night ever if you did a deep clean of the place,” Jeff clapped a hand on Eddie’s back and noticed that Eddie stiffened under his touch. “What time did all those quarters run out?”

Eddie laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

“Little after midnight,” he chuckled. “And it was fine. But, uh, now I know better than to fuck with you again.”

“Yeah you’re on time today, you beat me here!”

Eddie grabbed his arm as he passed and then leaned in close, voice pleading and desperate.

“I’ll never be late again, won’t be a no show, but please…don’t ever subject me to that hell again. Please.”

"Scout's honor," Jeff cackled.

Upon Eddie’s look of relief, Jeff headed back to get himself settled.

He chatted with Benny for a second before the older man left for the night. But as he went to the walk-in to get more onions to chop, he noticed something.

“Hey Ed!” He called out through the pass and Eddie turned. “Thanks for tossing that ground chuck! Or…Domo arigato I guess heh.”

He turned back to the task at hand, so he didn’t notice all the color drain from Eddie’s face.

[carolmunson]

eddie munson x fem!reader | steve harrington x fem!reader

COMING SOON TO THEATERS. A FANFICTION ADAPTION OF ACADEMY AWARD WINNING FILM 'TITANIC' WRITTEN BY:

@loveshotzz @newlips and @carolmunson

ORIGINAL SCREEN PLAY + FILM WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JAMES CAMERON. ALL OF THOSE ICONIC SCENES AND LINES ARE, OF COURSE, CREDITED TO WHOM CREDIT IS DUE: JAMES CAMERON

PREVIEW:

Wednesday, April 10th, 1912 Southampton, London

The blare of the fog horn is unmissable, rattling the conversations in a small pub off the White Star Dock. Even through the dusty windows she was clear as day, big as anything anyone had ever seen. Large black body met with a red base, multiple decks, and four large smoke stacks. The ship seemed to go on forever, her beauty unmatched to anyone who had seen it – a behemoth on the seas. A glory – a masterpiece.

The doors of the pub fluttered open and closed all morning as it edged closer and closer to noon. Pints poured by the dozens, the hundreds – half the country coming to the piers to see off the Ship of Dreams and its passengers. The bar was alight with chatter, mixing in with the roar of people from outside — hundreds of people halfway to boarding, waving and kissing goodbye. Beer glasses clinked and people cheered while they watched a long line of high end cars gleam in the spring sun as they rolled down the dock. Precious cargo full of Europe and America’s elite. 

Reporters and bellhops alike flock to them like flies, pub patrons ogling through the dusty windows while they exit their buggies.

Among the commotion, the endless chatter and screeching of pub seats, sat four men oblivious to the spectacle. They’re sitting around a small table with sweat on their brows as the April sun pours golden over them. Eyes burning over their cards as cigarette smoke wafts over their heads — the players lost in the fog during an intense round of poker.

The pot was mostly meager — a few pounds and swaths of change, a pocket watch, a penknife. But in the center was the crown jewel, a prize that would change the winner’s life forever. Two pieces of pressed parchment reading: 

The men leer over their hands, not a friendly face between them — the tickets were not the dealer’s, but two of the players who had bet the wrong guys. Guys who had been beyond the break and back again, meeting in Morocco, then Paris, and traveling together back to London — guys who had never lost a game of poker. 

Eddie places his bet, pulling a small silver ring off of his right ring finger and tossing it in the center. 

“Are you kidding?” Jeff asks from his left, “That’s everything we have.” 

Eddie grins at him, taking a drag of his cigarette. The sun dances in his big brown eyes like he knows something the rest of them don’t, “When you got nothin’, you got nothin’ to lose.” 

The two other players speak to each other heatedly in Swedish after one of them hits for a new card. The outburst makes it clear that things aren’t looking good for the Swedes — it makes Eddie’s heart leap. Maybe this is it, maybe he’s finally gonna get back to the states. “Sven?” he asks the man next to him. “Hit,” he replies, putting down a card and taking another. Eddie follows suit, furrowing his brow while his bangs meet his eyelashes. Sweat collects on the nape of his neck where his dark curls are twisted up in a graphite drawing pencil – a trick he picked up from women he met in France. He puffs the smoke from his mouth, eyes meeting the Swede across from him who looks like he couldn’t be having a worse day. 

“Alright,” he says, putting his cigarette down on the ashtray between then, “Moment of truth. Somebody’s life’s about to change.” 

He leans back in his chair and looks at his friend, sweat beading at the edge of his hairline and glinting off of his deep skin, “Jefferey?” 

Jeff throws his cards down with a roll of his eyes. “Nothing,” Eddie nods. 

“Nothing,” Jeff says curtly through a grit in his teeth. His heart pounds in his chest while he looks at the last of their money on the table – they can’t afford to lose. 

“Olaf?” Eddie asks, the Swede throws down his cards in a huff, “Nothin’.” 

“Sven?” 

Sven puts down his cards and Eddie frowns, “Oh…two pair.” 

His shoulders droop while he looks at his own cards, eyes lingering on the silver ring in the middle of the table, “I’m sorry, Jeff.” 

“What do you mean ‘sorry’?” You idiot! You bet all of our bloody money! You imbecile, you–”

“I’m sorry, you’re not going to be able to visit your cousins in Paris again for a long time,” Eddie says with a serious edge. Jeff quirks his brow, triggering Eddie’s winning smile behind plush pink lips. 

“‘Cause we’re goin’ to America!” he exclaims, slamming his cards down on the table, “FULL HOUSE, BOYS!” 

Jeff leaps from his chair in the back of the pub, reaching for the tickets on the on the table, “WE’RE GOIN’ TO BACK TO AMERICA!” 

“I’m goin’ home!” Ed exclaims while the boys hug tightly. The pub cheers for them, pints still flowing — men and women with red cheeks having no idea what they’re cheering for until a fight breaks out between the Swedes. 

Eddie laughs, hoisting his bag up over his shoulder and Jeff does the same — their white shirts dirtied with the stains of the day before.

“I can’t believe it,” Jeff says, teeth shining in a grin across his face, “Goin’ back to America!” 

“Titanic’s going back to America, boys,” the barkeep says, pointing at the clock, “In five minutes!” 

[anthonysperkins]

i was tagged by @rogerdeakinsdp to share my favorite first watches of September 💜 thank you Lena!!

Gueule d'amour (1937) dir. Jean Grémillon Longlegs (2024) dir. Oz Perkins Trapeze (1956) dir. Carol Reed The Brikeriders (2023) dir. Jeff Nichols Gun Fury (1953) dir. Raoul Walsh Rebel Ridge (2024) dir. Jeremy Saulnier The Female Animal (1958) dir. Harry Keller Never Say Goodbye (1956) dir. Jerry Hopper, Douglas Sirk Teorema (1968) dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini One-Eyed Jacks (1961) dir. Marlon Brando Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda Has Anybody Seen My Gal? (1952) dir. Douglas Sirk

tagging: @mikaeled @acecroft @pierppasolini @lindadarnell @normasshearer

@losthavenmine @manganiello @davidlynch @henricavyll @always-ascending