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amberjazmyn · 7 months ago

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"we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--"

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - "we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and I just don't--"

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - depressing, grief, grieving husband, widower, character death, hysterical crying

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - jared's wife lennon padalecki, a real-life texas ranger is murdered in cold blood. jared is then called after a day on set for his tv show, walker, which is a show about texas rangers, and has to visit the coroner's office to identify/see the body for the first time.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i am writing this for jared once again but i'm changing his wife's name from maisie to lennon and that she is a real life texas ranger cause then it makes sense because he plays a ranger on tv but his wife is the real thing. so, i thought, if he has a wife in the texas rangers that gets killed in the line of fire during work it could still follow episode nine of season one of walker. because, season one, episode nine shows us through flashbacks the night that emily walker, the wife of jared's character cordell walker, gets killed. and in this episode, jared's character cordell and odette annable's character geri brussard travel to the coroner's office to identify the body. so, yeah, that's why i decided to switch it around and make it a jared one-shot and not a walker one-shot. italics will be used and the present time will be written in the normal font. it'll also be written in lowercase

masterlist

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her body, from head to toe, was shutting down, slowing itself as were all of her vital organs. the exact ones that were usually so good at keeping her alive during moments of immense panic. she was trying so hard to breathe in and out but she couldn't. laying on the ground, in the muddy grassy field she couldn't help but pray and hope that help was on its way. that was if help had even been called since she was no longer with her garda partner. every time she tried to breathe in, she'd start choking and gurgling on the blood that was rising up in her throat from the gunshot wound to her stomach. and this was due to the fact that she was lying down on the floor as though she was paralyzed.

trying to keep her eyes open, she tried so hard to stay alive. even though she knew that in a matter of minutes, maybe seconds, she would be dead. because, even with every piece of texas ranger training she went through, nothing would ever really prepare her for a moment like this. this was when real life texas ranger, lennon padalecki's phone started to ring again. this wasn't the first time her phone had rung though since earlier on, before this happened, she was on the phone to her husband before she hung up on him mid-gunshot. as she moaned in pain at her incoming death, she just as about looked at her phone one last time, looking at the contact photo of her husband, jared padalecki as it flashed up on her iphone. the photo was of the two of them laughing as jared had tried to go in for a kiss on lennon's lips. however, he had missed her lips entirely whilst their twin boys, kai and ethan, who were only a few months old and their daughter aurelia, aged sixteen were seen in the background. the twins and aurelia were also pictured, just like their parents, laughing at their silly antics. all of this was happening whilst tears, blood, sweat and every other bodily fluid bubbled in lennon's throat and down her face. this was when she came to the fate that she was going to die and that no one was going to find her. and, this for some reason gave peace to lennon. even though she and jared had just become new and first-time parents to their aforementioned twin boys, kai and ethan who were only a few months old, making sixteen-year-old aurelia an older sister for the first time. due to the fact that sixteen-year-old aurelia padalecki was born from a previous relationship of her mothers. and, for some reason, lennon never thought that during her time as a texas ranger that she'd die like this, on the wet, dewey, muddy field of grass looking up at the beautiful austin night sky. a huge gunshot wound overflowing with blood in the middle of her abdominal-stomach area. lennon had no clue that she got accidentally tangled with an iilegal drug trade at the border.

she was never told that important piece of information in the brief of her and her partners case. all the information they were given was that they were just driving to the border to deliever clean bottled water to a different crew of rangers who were finishing up a more serious case. with lennon's breathing starting to slow, so did her panic and worry of dying. her entire life from a little girl to the first time she met her husband to then watching them get married to then having aurelia and then kai and ethan along with all the other happy moments she spent with the rest of jared's walker castmates and their partners played through her mind as though it was a mini highlight reel of her life - which it was.

this put her at ease, she found herself taking her last breath, a smile on her face with her eyes focused upon the gorgeous austin night sky. her eyes fluttered shut as though she was just falling asleep and she wasn't bleeding out, covered in sweat, tears and various other fluids. she was calm and at rest even though the way to this moment was anything but calming and restful.

back at the set of his tv show, walker, that revolves around his wife's real life job as a texas ranger, jared couldn't contain his worry. thankful though, for the fact that walker was even filmed at their home state in austin, texas. meaning that he was closer to home than he would be if he was in vancouver or los angeles. this then inadvertently meant that the least of his worries was having to get on a plane to rush home to his wife. however, it still worried him that his wife didn't pick up the phone call after the first time she called originally. this made him think that she was in trouble - of course it did. this entire sitution gave jared a feeling that he didn't want to trust or worry about. but, he knew due to his wife's job as a texas ranger, he always had to worry about every and any phone call he could receive from his wife, boss or work partner. that phone call and missed phone call genuinely gave jared the heebie-jeebies but because he was on set for walker with his castmates, he desperately tried to forget about it.

it gave him the complete full body shivers to think about the possibility of something bad happening to his wife whilst she was at work. especially when all of her cases lately had been rather tame and nothing too scary. which then sent another full body shiver down jared's spine, giving him the thought of why would his wife call him while she's on shift if nothing was wrong?

this was when jared's phone started to ring again. the number was from the travis county coroner's office in regards to a body that needed indentifying. however, obviously, just from a number, jared didn't know that immediately like his wife was able to. in jared's mind, it was just an unknown number that had rung him but, truthfuly, he did assume that it was a law enforcement/government official number. so, it gave him all the wrong feelings that it was the coroner's office.

for a moment, jared was confused why they would need him when it was his wife that was the real-life texas ranger. why would jared need to identify someone...his blood then grew cold as his eyes began to water and he started to feel sick in the pit of his stomach.

what if that gut feeling was because of that strange phone call he received from lennon. what if something bad had indeed happened to his wife?

"...hello, am i speaking to a mr...jared padalecki?" the male on the other side of the phoneline queried

this made jared's anxiety anything but better about where his wife was, "umm, yes...yes, this is he. who...who am i speaking with, sorry?" jared stammered out in confusion and worry, his heart beating out of his chest - just hoping it was the rangers or--

"--this is the travis county coroner's office, sir. a lady in her early to late thirties has just been brought in to us and we're still unsure about her identity. but with the information we received, we found out that you are an emergency contact. we're just asking for you to come down so you can identify this woman. this is because as of right now, you sir, are our only possible lead as to who this woman is," the man spoke softly and with empathy

jared felt as though he had been thrown to the floor and kicked in the stomach. his breath was gone in a second as he then realised, the woman from what he had been told wasn't a ranger- maybe he wouldn't be identifying his wife after all.

"oh...oh, okay, yeah of...of course! i...i'll be on my way soon i just gotta--"

"--oh, sir, wait, before i forget, sorry, was the woman brought into the coroner's office a texas ranger?" jared stammered out

completely out of his director's seat now, showed his boss, anna, his phone with the now shown coroner's phone number. immediately, no questions asked, anna allowed jared to grab his things. also letting keegan, coby and odette go with him. not having a single care in the world that the four of them had a tv show to film.

the other man on the other end of the phone then responded with a soft gasp of remembrance, "ahh, that's what i had forgotten. i am so sorry mr padalecki, the woman that's been brought into the examiner's office was indeed mentioned to be a texas ranger. and now, i think we have a firm belief as to who it is. hence why you've been our first point of contact, so please be careful mr padalecki. we will see you when you arrive, thank you for your time," the man spoke as he then hung up to do what jared assumed was to ring the other three emergency contacts of who he didn't know was his own wife, lennon

because, all of a sudden, jared didn't seem too worried. he had suddenly remembered a rule in regards to what happens when a texas ranger dies whilst they are in active service. the rule is or was that the first person called is not the wife/husband/parent of the officer but the last person to be contacted. so, because of jared remembering this rule that was actually switched to the wife/husband/parent being called first, his worry and anxiety of him being told his wife had been killed in active duty just slipped away.

so, because of this, jared went straight to autopilot thinking it was lennon's partner, elliot that had died. as soon as the phone line went dead, jared rushed to his car, keegan joining him whilst coby and odette went in coby's big car. coby driving right behind jared as they sped down to the coroner's office, the two of them most likely breaking a ton of road rules. all the while just hoping that the person he was going to identify wasn't someone he was related to, let alone elliot or his own wife. and even then, he'd still be confused and equally as heartbroken as to who this person would be and why he'd be an unknown ranger's emergency contact since he was already elliot's second point of contact after his own wife. in the same way that elliot's wife was the second point of contact of lennon after jared.

as jared, keegan, odette and coby arrived at the travis county coroner's office, they all stepped out of their cars. jared now feeling dizzy and stressed out.

"jared, man, what's going on, do you know?" odette approached her nervous castmate and best friend as she notices him shake his head no

keegan, odette and coby watched as panic seeped through jared's eyes as keegan's jaw tightened. it seemed as though keegan already figured it out who it was that needed identifying, odette and coby as well.

the four castmates who were best friends leaned against coby's big car, jared's mind starting to wander. he tried to think up of all the people in his wife's team that had him as their emergency contact other than elliot. as he wracked his brain, by the time he fully remembered that he was his own wife's first point of contact, a voice that sounded like the man who rang jared was heard from the front door of the building. this voice had caught the cast's attention.

"...mr padalecki...they're ready for you," the man who had rung jared opened the door, shivers spreading through the body's of jared and his castmates

this threw jared back to the strange phone call from lennon. it truthfully just gave him the creeps and rightfully so.

"we love you jared, it's gonna be okay!" odette spoke softly as she placed her hand on the shoulder of her older best friend

turning around, jared nodded his head before turning back to the examiner and walked into the coroner's office.

only keegan had followed the examiner and jared into the office. odette and coby waiting outside since they didn't want to crowd the office or overwhelm jared. besides, keegan had offered on the ride there since he was jared and lennon's other point of contact after each other. keegan was best friends with lennon so to even think that they were possibly having to identify his best friend's wife's dead body haunted him and they hadn't even been shown the body yet. they hadn't even been escorted into the exam room yet. keegan had been in jared's trailer originally when the first phone call from lennon was given to jared and he was probably feeling that weird feeling again when it hit keegan. why else would they be called to the coroner's office and not the hospital if lennon died in a more natural way like a car collision or stroke? because they wouldn't. if it was a stroke or car collision, the call would have come from the hospital.

this now made keegan nervous and sick to his stomach as they were then brought into the exam room about to identify the body. the medical examiner and elliot...wait, if it wasn't elliot that jared and keegan needed to identify then who was it...

...no...it couldn't be...no, jared was asleep...he was just taking a quick nap before the show... it can't be her...but it was...because next to the medical examiner, standing at the head of the body was elliot, the partner of his wife, lennon.

keegan noticed the tears that elliot had been and was still crying due to the tear marks on his cheeks. it was clear that this was anyone but elliot's fault because he wasn't crying tears of guilt. he was crying tears of losing his best friend who just happened to be his work partner.

it was at this moment that keegan had to bring jared out of his haze. especially since it was clear that if they waited any moment longer, it wouldn't get any easier than it already was to have to identify jared's dead wife. all the examiner needed was a head nod from either jared or keegan for him to shed the sheet that covered lennon. but, it was jared's confirming head nod that the examiner knew for sure that it was time for them to identify the already known body of his wife, the dead texas ranger that had been found.

almost immediately, jared's entire body locked as he fell forward against the pulled out shelving unit that had his dead wife laying on.

once he realised that it wasn't elliot he needed to identify, tears immediately filled his eyes as he tried to memorise every single piece of his wife. it was his wife that he needed to identify for the coroners, not elliot. it didn't take keegan any longer than it took jared to realise who it was they needed to identify. just like jared did when he saw elliot, keegan immediately realised who they had been called in to identify.

without realising he was doing it, keegan started to move his body over to the far wall as he watched his best friend become a widower and single father within minutes. jared had become a widower and single father to aurelia, kai and ethan within ten minutes from the phone call to the drive from the set of their tv show walker to the coroner's office. ten minutes it had taken for jared to lose his whole entire world in the woman that was his wife and the mother to his three kids.

straight away, jared lost his composure. of course he did. how couldn't he? he wept, whimpered and wailed like never heard before as they echoed across the small office to the parking lot where odette and coby could hear it. hearing his wails gave coby and odette all the information they needed to know that it was indeed lennon that was being identified. jared then started to lean against the cold, metal shelving unit to keep himself steady so he wouldn't collapse to his knees.

he just couldn't seem to make sense of this entire situation his head. he couldn't understand as to who would do something like this to his wife, the woman who had just given birth a couple of months ago to their fraternal twins. even then, what did they do to his wife? the examiner didn't even mention it as it had been decided that it would be more efficient to have them identify who it was before revealing the cause of death.

"oh...oh my go...gosh!" jared wailed as he panicked, what had even happened to his wife?

what was she even doing? why didn't she ring him back the second time he had called? he had so many questions going through his mind but not enough clarity to sort through them all. he couldn't focus on anything but the fact that he wasn't going to allow himself to collapse to his knees on that floor.

"i...i got-gotta call my-my family! got to call...oh, aurelia...kai...ethan...our babies!" jared whimpered, sniffling as he found himself falling into hysteria at the fact he was now all on his own

this was the moment it truly, properly hit jared that he had lost the love of his life and that his three kids had lost their mother. and the thing that shattered jared's heart even more was the fact that they had no clue at all. the twins not even old enough to comprehend their mommy not being here anymore and aurelia just getting old enough to truly comprehend the possibility of her mom not being here anymore.

it tore keegan's heart into pieces to hear jared collapsing into hysteria and grief as keegan struggled as if it was himself. lennon had just given birth to kai and ethan and had only just returned back to work with the rangers after maternal leave.

"we...we got to get her out of here, okay?" jared panicked, not willing to accept the news that lennon was dead as keegan could only watch

keegan's own tears unwillingly streaming down his cheeks ever so quietly, jared's wails the only ones heard. his teats streaming quicker remembering that what jared was saying were the exact lines he says in the upcoming episode of walker.

"it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--"

"--doctor, *sniffles*, sir umm how...how did lennon die? what...what happened?" keegan blurts as a way to calm jared down knowing he wouldn't be able to ask himself

this being the moment that odette and coby knew they couldn't wait outside any longer. neither of them caring that they were potentially crowding the small viewing room. they just couldn't stand by any longer, they had to be inside of that viewing room and comforting their distraught best friend.

"now that it has been verified that the body is texas ranger lennon padalecki, i can now confirm that it was a gunshot wound to her abdominal-stomach area in the midsection that was her ultimate cause of death. the rangers are now building a formal investigation as to who lennon's killer was and whether or not there was an ulterior motive. or if, as we suspected originally, it was a wrong place right time situation and didn't realise until it was too late. an investigation into whether or not the texas rangers purposefully put mrs padalecki and elliot in a dangerous position that led to her untimely death is also being formed," the examiner spoke softly with a tilt of professionalism as keegan nodded his head

jared at this point was barely able to move let alone tilt his head in an up or down motion. his gutwrenching wails still being the only other thing heard as his legs slowly started to give way. he was starting to heavily rely on applying pressure to the shelving unit to keep himself upright.

it devastated keegan, odette and coby just as much as it devastated jared that they identified lennon's dead body. all their minds were filled with many questions as to what lennon was even doing that caused her to die from a gunshot wound and being so far away from elliot who was completely free from physical harm.

how on god's green earth did she get shot? was she doing something suspicious or that seemed suspicious to the person or people that shot her? was she aware that she was maybe accidentally walking through territory that wasn't her jurisdiction? or was she like the examiner mentioned, in the right place at the wrong time?

but then, a completely different thought went through all of their minds. did the rangers do this on purporse? purposefully send out one of their rangers who had just returned from maternity leave and just hope with the pure negligence that she'd come back home safely?

or was this situation like what lennon would show jared in a crime show when they first started dating and lennon tried to explain to jared what her job was...even though he didn't need it to be explained since he definitely had heard of chuck norris' original version of walker, texas ranger before he'd ever end up playing the said title character in a reboot many years later.

were the people who shot lennon worried that because she was a uniformed texas ranger but had her personal phone with her, not her professional work phone that she was going to rat them out to elliot and the other on-shift rangers? so many questions yet it seemed as though they were no possible answers to fill the void that jared no longer had his wife by his side anymore. his children, aurelia, kai and ethan no longer had their mom there to watch them grow up or be there for them when they needed her help when it was something dad couldn't fix.

this whole time of silence, jared hadn't stopped wailing. it was still loud and just as agonising as before. of course it was, it was a dagger to the hearts of the examiner and his castmates to hear the greivous wails. it seemed as if despite the amount of tears he was producing, he wasn't ever going to run out. it actually shocked everyone that he was still standing, though it was with the help of the shelving unit that was cold as ice with some of it covered with puddles of dried-up blood that he was leaning on. because, truthfully, they all thought that jared would have immediately collapsed to his knees. however, they quickly realised that jared still wanted to have some control over himself and his body if he couldn't control the wails that shook his entire body.

present time

a little under four months later and the families of lennon were having the righteous funeral for their texas ranger. the reason for the four-month long wait was due to the double investigations that had taken place to figure out who had done it and whether or not the texas rangers were responsible for the death of one of their rangers. finally though, with the long and tiring court process finished, thankfully in favour of the family, lennon's murderer getting the maximum penalty which was life without parole. going back to the investigation regarding the ranger's part of this homicide, they were put under a little bit of fire for their negligence for one of their rangers. but most especially for the fact that it wasn't just any regular ranger but one that had just returned from maternity leave.

however, that specific court case was ultimately acquitted because it turned out that the commanding officer that put lennon, elliot and the rest of that ranger task force on that case was genuinely told incorrect information. the information that they were just supposed to be giving out water to the other texas rangers, not actually informing them of the dangers of the case that the other task force was handling. it was someone else within the rangers, in a higher position in the ranks that was sentenced and found guilty of negligence, not lennon's captain.

but, once that was done and all the stress from that was over, that was when they could finally organize the funerals. and yes, there was two funerals. the first one was a state texas rangers funeral because of the fact that lennon was a ranger within the texas rangers and she was on active duty when she got killed. and the second one was the one that had just finished. the first one was planned by the texas rangers and the second one was planned by the two families, the padalecki's and the castellano's, the families of jared and lennon.

at both funerals, jared gave a eulogy for his wife and they were both heartbreaking and beautiful. mentioning that he had been in love with lennon since they were twelve. also mentioning that whilst he was terrified of being a single father to aurelia, kai and ethan, he was confident in knowing that he had the support from not only his and lennon's family, his walker family but also the family of lennon's rangers team. this was when mentioned in elliot's eulogy that was said straight after jared's at the state funeral and reiterated again at the private funeral that had just ended.

due to being an actor and currently starring in a show about being a texas ranger, this experience and heartache was then turned into the newly reworked scene of cordell going through the same thing that jared went through in real life. because of this, he went as far as to ask if he could refilm the opening scene of "rule number 17" which has the opening scene of cordell seeing his wife's dead body at the coroner's office. exactly how he had to see his real-life texas ranger wife, lennon. of course, everyone on set was hesitant but, they all knew to not argue with the executive producer which also happened to be jared himself.

so, whilst it was a heartbreaking scene to refilm for everyone om the set, it was a scene that didn't take too long and wasn't too hard to get into the headspace of to film in one clean take.

during the service, jared just wished he was somewhere completely different. course he did, why would he purposefully choose to be in a funeral home when he could be on set filming walker where his real-life and pretend tv life didn't merge into one. but, he couldn't do that. he couldn't run away. not from his kids after they had just experienced the loss of their mom. he knew he couldn't hide away from the truth of his wife's loss. he knew he couldn't run away from his kids to hide his cries so, he didn't. he sat up at the front of the church, aurelia sitting next to him with kai asleep in her arms and ethan asleep in his arms as he wept as he farewelled his wife and the mother to his kids.

✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧

sitting in silence, the padalecki, castellano and families of the walker members just twiddled their thumbs trying to distract themselves in any other way that wasn't twiddling their thumbs. the silence was then broken by aurelia padalecki, jared and lennon's eldest daughter. the girl speaking up as she took notice of the way everyone made eye contact with her.

"...mom would totally be saying a joke right now because she hates awkward silences," she spoke bluntly, trying to keep her voice airy, everyone looking at the girl to continue

"umm, okay, yeah, joke sorry...what did the ghost say to the bee?" she almost smirked as she regained her composure, everyone shrugging their shoulders not knowing the punchline

"boo, bee," she struggled to keep her laughter in which made jared, her dad, who was still in tatters tearfully giggle

"what...what's brown and sticky?" violet, jared's tv daughter spoke up with a small giggle as immediatey, jared's real-life daughter aurelia rolled her eyes at her tv sister's dad joke

"a stick," the "sisters" said at the same exact time, violet giggling softly whilst aurelia was monotone, a joking roll of her eyes, her smile sad and small

"what kind of music do chiropracters like? hip pop" jared spoke up tearfully with a chuckle as the room filled with giggles

not all the giggles were identical. some were tearful, others wholehearted, a couple were nervously laughing but it didn't matter. all that mattered was there was still laughter filling up the room which was a good step in all of their grieving processes.

"that was awful, dad. mom would not have been impressed by that at all," aurelia whispered, glad that her dad was here with her and her brothers again

for context, the castellano's had been taking care of aurelia, kai and ethan during the four months during the double investigations and court proceedings.

speaking of the kids, aurelia noticed the way her dad's face changed. it was like a switch had been flicked and he was suddenly teary. it was clear that to aurelia, her dad had become overwhelmed with everything going on around him. especially with this being the second funeral for his wife and mother of his three kids, aurelia being one of them.

"dad, are you okay?" aurelia decided to ask, jared pulled out of his stupor and nodded his head

"uh...yeah, i'm-i'm fine! i just need some fresh air, alright baby?" jared stammered out as aurelia nodded her head

"yeah, sure daddy, that's fine," aurelia's tone of voice was filled with worry, there was clearly something wrong with her dad but she didn't know what

as jared stumbled out of the gathering room everyone was in, it felt as though he could finally get a breath of air into his lungs. for a while, it felt serene for jared in the fields of the funeral home. until jared felt a breeze passing against his cheek and what sounded like little bells in his ears.

turning around, he heard what he thought was a female voice, " you can't walk out on them like that..." and it was a female voice but it just wasn't any female voice

it was lennon's voice. and jared thought he was going crazy and he probably was as he furiously looked behind him just in case he had been followed. when he saw no one was behind him, he spoke up.

"...i...i don't want them seeing me like this," jared sniffled as lennon's ghost softened from her stern facial features from before

"well they're in pain too, and the only way through it is with them," lennon begged as jared wept, turning his head to the side

"this wasn't part of the plan, you...you weren't supposed to die," jared's voice shook from his cries

"it happened and the only thing that matters now is helping our kids. i need you to promise me that you're gonna be there for them," lennon's voice was exasperated as jared still found it difficult to keep eye contact with the ghost of his wife

"i don't know how. lennon, i don't know what to do," jared sniffled, if anything, he didn't know how to take care of the twins, he was perfectly capable of taking care of aurelia and lennon knew that

"do your best," lennon spoke for one last time before fading away

but, because jared looked away, he didn't see her disappear until he looked back over at the spot where her ghost was. it threw him off slightly at what he just saw and heard. now this was really creepy because this is the exact same thing that happens in "rule number 17" in walker. the fact the ghost of his wife had returned, telling him off for running out on his family but then soothing him and comforting him was a solace for jared.

by the time jared had started his journey back into the funeral home, he could hear footsteps. it was clear that just like him, this moment was very overwhelming someone else. it wasn't until he noticed the striking brown hair that he realised it was his daughter, aurelia. it was clear that her brothers were being taken care of, either by one of the walker guys or one of the castellano's which gave her the opportunity to run away outside.

as she ran outside, it was then that aurelia felt as though she could finally let go and just cry. her cries were almost as loud as her dad's were when he had to identify lennon's body at the examiner's office. wrapping her arms around herself as a form of self-protection, she had no idea that jared had found her. and it was due to her own cries sounding in her ears that she hadn't realised her dad had come to look for her let alone find her, though accidentally. she thought she was slicker than a buttered otter since her dad was already outside and it seemed as though everyone else was preoccupied with the twins. however, apparently, aurelia cannot be secretive and slick around her dad as much as she likes to think she is.

aurelia was about to turn around from her little breakdown to go back inside, only to look up and match the tearful eyes of her dad.

no words were even needed to let jared know that his daughter really wasn't as okay as she had made everyone believe she was. it was clear to jared at this point that in aurelia's world, it felt as though everything was crashing around and on top of her all at once and today was her breaking point. she couldn't keep it in any longer but she didn't want to be in the presence of her family. just like her dad, but especially didn't want to have her breakdown in front of her dad because of how painful it would be for him to witness it. so, in aurelia's mind, the only smart option to her was to cry alone where no one could see or hear her.

"aurelia?" jared only whispered before his daughter broke again, falling into her dad's frame as he immediately pulled his daughter into his arms

"i...i can't...it...it hurts so much dad...why did mom die?" aurelia panicked, the same way which jared himself panicked that day four months ago in the examiner's office whilst aurelia and the twins were non the wiser

"i know it hurts ellie. it hurts like hell and truthfully it'll feel like that for a while, that was your mom, i'm never going to lie to you. and, she...she died because it was a situation of right place at the wrong time. she had veered away from uncle elliot and she got caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone wrong. the drug dealers at the field where elliot found her mom had noticed she was walking towards them. your mom, obviously oblivious to what was going on in front of her because she thought she'd be meeting up with the other group of rangers, when they saw her uniform and the phone in her hand, they thought she was going to rat them out to her fellow rangers and possibly me. not like i'd be able to do anything but, they thought that because of the phone in her hand, that they'd get caught. and, because of that, they thought the best way to stop that possible scenario from happening was to essentially eliminate her so, that...that's what they did," jared's voice shook towards the end, that had been the first time in months that he had explained to his daughter how her mom had died

"why are we so unlucky?" aurelia whimpered as she hugged her dad tight and he scoffed, sniffing as a tear of his hit aurelia's cheek

"i'm not so sure love but, i think this is where our luck turns around," jared muttered, only hoping that he didn't just straight up lie to himself or his daughter

"how are you so sure?" aurelia whimpered again as she took a deep breath in, jared doing the same before making eye contact with his daughter

"because darling, the shooter, whilst showing utter remorse and guilt for the murder of your mommy, is in jail for as long as he shall live as is the person high up in the rangers for even instructing mommy's captain to give her and elliot that task. even though we did forgive them both, they are both still responsible and still took away the life of an innocent texas ranger who was just doing what she was simply told to do. but, ellie, just know that i'm not going anywhere and i'm always going to protect you and the twins. even if i end up say, falling in love with someone else, you and the twins will always be an important piece of me as will mom's family and they will always be loved by me and i'll always call them my family, you understand ellie?" jared was stern with his daughter in the knowledge that even though he may fall in love with another girl after the loss of his first wife, that the family of his first wife will never be forgotten as his first

and that was something that aurelia was pleased to hear as well as something that the rest of the castellano family would appreciate. because no matter what, jared will always be their brother and son-in-law and the aunty's, uncle's and grandparents to his kids. and that was because they needed it right now during this time of grieving, it was needed more than ever.

"i understand daddy. i'm glad that mommy's family will still stay ours no matter what happens even without mom with us," aurelia whispered as jared clenched his jaw as he held his daughter tightly

then the father and daughter both broke down into tears as they stood in the wooded area for what felt like an eternity. when in reality, it was almost an hour before kale and violet, alongside kai and ethan, had come out to look for their "sister" and "dad". only to find the two of them still crying their eyes out as the six of them embraced. kale giving jared kai whilst violet held onto ethan. the second they got into the group hug, it seemed as though the tears didn't stop as jared held his twin boys tight after violet carefully gave him ethan.

the four remaining padalecki's cried over their mom and wife, kale and violet over their "tv mom" and over the fact that they'd never see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her sing in the kitchen or play with their dogs arlo, koda and bridger. they cried over the fact that dad jared was a lot more vulnerable without mom than when she was alive. and they cried over the fact that kai and ethan would have to grow up without their mom and have little to no memories of her and only very few photos of the five of them as a family. whilst aurelia had also lost her mom too, it was obvious to her and everyone else that most of those tears were for the twins since aurelia had sixteen years whereas the twins only had months. this meant that when jared cries over lennon, the twins won't be able to understand why since they're still babies and won't really be able to comfort their dad or understand why they are. they also cried over the fact that the only things they have left of their mom and wife are the videos and photos of memories that were gonna spare a lifetime but were still not enough in the means of never getting new videos and photos of her with her children and husband.

"dad?" aurelia speaks up, her voice raw and scratchy from her crying

"yeah, ellie?" jared speaks up as well, his voice also hoarse from the tears, his arms tight around his little kai

"are you okay to go back to work, to walker?" aurelia's soft words brought comfort to jared that had never happened before as he found himself slightly smiling at his daughter's question

"yeah, i am darlin'. it's been four months, your walker family need me back for filming and things. if you wish and want to, i'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if i could bring you and the boys with me if that's what worries you," jared smiled softly as his daughter smiles and the faces of his tv children, kale and violet light up as if all their previous grief slipped away

ethan getting handed over to jared so he could cuddle both of his boys at the same time was soothing jared as well as it was soothing kai and ethan. because aurelia was so caught up in getting hugged by her dad and brothers, violet spoke up.

"that sounds perfect, jared. you were already an amazing father to aurelia and the twins but you'll be an even better father to them with the assistance of us, the walker family," violet smiled as did kale, nodding their heads in agreement as jared smiled back

"thank you violet and kale, that means a lot," jared smiled, trying to escape aurelia's grasp so he could hug violet and kale as he hugged the twins close, taking a deep breath

during this entire conversation, the family had been walking back to the funeral home that they had left hours earlier. sitting down on the steps as they faced each other again and smiled at one another.

"you guys ready to face everyone again, you as well aurelia?" jared questions his children, real life and tv as they stay close to one another

violet holding the hand that aurelia wasn't holding of her dad's as she and kale smile down to the ground. they knew there was going to be a lot more tears but that they were hopefully going to be less intrusive.

"i mean, the world continues to turn, right?" aurelia chimes in as jared smiles at his daughter and nods his head

the father and daughter made eye contact with violet and kale before taking a quick glance at the now-sleeping twins before they decided to head back inside.

"you are correct ellie, the world does continue to turn," jared smiled making his daughter laugh as they walked back inside with kale

violet however, stalked back but not too far behind as coby, another one of the walker family stood waiting for them.

"you alright darling?" coby whispered as he held his fellow costar violet tight as she smiled, nodding her head into her costars chest, kale getting a hug from molly

"uh-huh, more than alright coby," she whispered back as coby smiled, closing his eyes tightly

"that's good darlin', but, maybe give jared another hug? he's not as strong as he thinks he is. he's struggling without lennon's help with aurelia and the twins. he's scared, vi. he needs to know the castellano's will still be there even if he does end up with someone else," coby whispered as violet nodded her head and walked back over to her tv dad

catching him off-gaurd since aurelia had since left to hang out with uncle keegan and kale, he was thankful he was now only holding one twin, kai. jared's tears seemed to begin again when violet pulled him in for another hug. this broke violet's heart all over again as jared closed his eyes. only wishing for this whole scenario to just be a really bad dream and that he'd be walking back onto the walker set and his wife was still alive.

"you sure you're okay, jared?" violet whispered softly, asking her tv dad again who cried softly, hugging his son kai closer, the other grip on violet

"in time," jared sniffled quietly, letting violet understand that he was admitting he was terrified as violet nodded her head in agreement

"in time," violet repeated because it was true

- - -

so, i did say this was gonna be depressing so, i do like how this turned out like, still, that opening scene for that episode of walker, hurts like a fucking bitch like, why would you do that to us jared? why would you start an episode of walker like that?! especially when it's your real-life wife as your tv wife like dood! please pay for my therapy thank you, it's only fair (also, just in case no one took the hint, that last sentence was pure sarcasm as i actually do go to therapy and it is not paid by jared padalecki but by australian healthcare and my mum!)

ily xx

word count; 5377

#walker cast #angst #jared padalecki #keegan allen #odette annable #molly hagan #coby bell #jeff piere #violet brinson #kale culley #mitch pileggi #sorry this isn't spn related

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