#jason petty

[name-pending-i-promise]

Kinda curious how much crossover there is between fans of Cool Zone Media and Dropout. They've got similar vibes, a lot of former employees of a big 2000's comedic media company (Cracked and CollegeHumor, respectively) that fell apart and the employees just kinda started their own thing that's half company and half friend group. Both exist as companies but go out of their way to prioritize consumer satisfaction over profits. Both are very anticapitalist and left-leaning. Jamie Loftus and Vic Michaelis follow each other on Instagram.

Anyway I think they should do a crossover. Get Brennan on BtB. Get Robert Evans, Prop, and Margaret Killjoy on Game Changer.

[auntymurda]

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

Jason is just making fun of Phantom over the phone outside of a JL meeting in the watch tower. He keeps calling him out and taking the piss, saying Phantom won’t do shit cause the JL are there.

The entire League are just staring at each other and Batman silently and awkwardly and they hear Red Hood mock someone saying “shove that in your grave, oh wait you didn’t get one” and losing it.

Eventually Red Hood comes back in still crying from laughter under his hood after that 40 minute call. Just as the JL are about to restart they just hear a banging from the space window(?!)

Everyone turns to see a feral looking 14-15 years cussing up a storm so bad even Constantine flinches(how can they hear someone talking when they are in space how are they just there?!?).

Only to hear Red Hood go “Oh Shit” and dead sprint out the room as the teen phases through the window and chases after him saying something about a Creep Bat (Flash asks if he missed another Bat Kid, Batman refuses.)

[somewhereincairparavel]

To the people saying "Jason wouldn't have jumped into tartarus for Piper, like Percy did for Annabeth" as a way to demean him. Jason, plunged into the sky from the grand canyon to catch Piper in the first few pages of the lost hero without even knowing who she was, and without the knowledge that he could fly. so he basically jumped to his death attempting to catch her. In the first few pages of his journey, he didn't mind dying to save Piper, and ironically, that's also what he did in the last few pages of his journey. Y'all just be making the most out of pocket claims abt jason fr

[gnomewithalaptop]

I can't stop laughing at this -- completely unprovoked

[brucewaynehater101]

Timothy Drake-Wayne and Red Robin don't hold grudges. Someone could try to stab them, and he would still greet them amicably.

Tim, however, absolutely holds grudges. He'll forgive his siblings for betrayal or attempted homicide, but every piece of technology they own is obliterated if they touch his Zesti.

The lines he'll cross are more extreme if he's holding a grudge for someone else.

A person mentioned three years ago that Robin's (Damian's) outfit looks stupid. They still get every single red light when they drive.

That new JL member that implied Batman is too cold-hearted to be a hero? Every embarrassing moment of theirs on patrol (including tripping) is uploaded onto YouTube as failure compilations.

Duke knows it's no coincidence that every jerk he's mentioned to Tim has been aggressively dealt with. He fully utilizes this but allows himself plausible deniability.

Tarantula hasn't been heard from in years. No one knows what exactly happened to her, but rumors indicate she suffered greatly.

A goon that had gotten a lucky hit on Red Hood ended up at the police station 24 hours later with all the bones in their dominant hand broken.

Any person that makes ableist comments about Barbara has their information directly sent to her. She prefers to deal out the retribution. Steph is similar, but she'll sometimes ask Tim to join her.

Cass treats the experience as a siblings bonding trip whenever someone is stupid enough to slight her in front of Tim.

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[gilbirda]

Danny is the rightful Ghost King, but since he's not of age he needs a regent who is a) his species, b) his family, and c) an adult. The only adult haftas are Vlad or this Red Hood guy from Gotham that he's never heard of. Since Vlad is not going to happen looks like it's Red Hood, now how to make the guy count as family...

Jason has had a lot of weird shit happen to him over the years but a woman tracking him down as Red Hood to propose a temporary political marriage so he can be regent of a death dimension until her brother is old enough to rule in his own name is a new one for him. Of course he accepted. The only other option was apparently a creepy uncle figure. He's read enough romance to know a forced marriage of a woman to her creepy uncle never ends well. A forced marriage of a woman to a crime lord doesn't usually end much better, but he's ignoring that for now. He's going to woo and romance his spit fire of a wife with respect, spontaneous poetry, his damn good cooking, and by not being a Darcy. And he is going to rock not just this whole regent thing, but also and more importantly the mentoring her brother and his new ward on how to rule this dimension. Competence is always attractive. He runs a tight ship in his crime empire, surely running a dimension can't be that much harder.

He actually already has a plan on how he's going to handle the whole 'The USA declared war on the dimension he's regent of' thing. It's simple really he goes to the next family dinner and causes chaos. The faces everyone will make will be glorious when he drops that he's lord regent of a dimension, the USA is at war with his dimension, and it's such a shame that no one can meet Jason's wife or ward till there is a peace treaty. Then he just needs to sit back and watch the entertainment as his siblings realize he has forever won the position of favorite child by being the first married and first to give Bruce a grandkid. Also you know the chaos of Bruce willing to wage a one man war if necessary so he can meet his grandson. Jason figures it will take at most a month for the government to cave.

And like a cherry on top he's going to get on a medical treatment plan for the pit. Everything is looking great for him.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Dick: Proud member of the “never tried to kill Tim club”

Jason: “kill” is a strong word for it-

Tim: No-no I think it fits.

Jason: It was a squabble, really.

Tim: Twice. First you beat the shit out me in the tower-

Jason: I was going through shit. There’s songs for going through breakups, not waking up from the dead-

Tim: Then you stab me!

Jason: It was a jab-

Tim: you left me bleeding in a weird murder cave-

Dick: You did say you killed him that time-

Jason: For dramatic effect! I’m a theater kid!

[junespriince]

Wally, pissed: B, what the hell. I called you last night for some help and you ignored my calls! I had to ask Rayner's bitch ass to help me, what was so important my calls weren't?

Bruce: you didn't need me, your villains are childs play compared to mine, just needed to stop being lazy and relying on others to help you out.

Wally, eye twitches in my villains ain't child's play: okay, okay, so did you need help with your villains?

Bruce: psh, you wouldn't last a minute in Gotham against mine. I don't need someone I have to carry out of there.

Wally, slams fist on table that scared Clark: bullshit! You let children fight along side you, it can't be that hard.

Bruce: whatever, Allen never had an issue he couldn't solve.

Wally: because he had HAL! you moron!

Bruce: I'm not a mor—

Diana: enough! Settle this like adults or like men.

Wally: fine. I want to be a Gotham villain for a week, if you can defeat me I'll shut my mouth up and never complain about this again.

Bruce, has a file on how to defeat Barry: deal.

Two weeks later

Bruce, on a building with his head in his hands: how is he that good! I have a file on how to neutralize him!

Dick: that's on Barry... You do know speedster are different from one another.

Bruce: they are!? How!?

Dick: Wally can go through walls. Barry can. That's one difference.

Jason: and apparently he can make damn good pipe bombs, can I add him to the outlaws I need a good pipe bomber for the team.

Bruce: this is a nightmare!

Tim: could be worse, at least he's not destroying anything valuable and he's protecting citizens.

Stephanie: and his suit is serving cunt, get the penguin let him see what drip is.

Duke, yelling out: yo Walls! I'd love a hamburger!

Wally, zips in: here ya go bud. *Leaves*

Duke: god, can he stay, he so convenient.

Bruce: No!

Kate: boooo pussy baby man.

Damian: he can blow up stuff but I stab one person I'm ground for six weeks.

Dick: because stabbing the mailman because you think he's an intruder.

Damian: he looked sus! Chat defend me!

Barbara: chat says no stabbing.

Damian: tt.

Bruce, to Dick: how do I stop him! You have a file on him, tell me!

Dick: no, I won't. There's finally a hot redhead villain now, and I'm going to pull a you real quick and flirt with the sexy villain, bye! *Leaves*

Bruce: noooooo, you were my son! Diana gonna laugh at me!

Jason: auntie gonna laugh at you? Shit let me help make this more of a problem for ya.

Bruce: betrayal!!

Cass: betrayal, maybe but it funny.

Wally, on a megaphone: do you YIELD Batman.

Bruce, and his ego: NEVER!

Continue on for two years

[jennrypan]

Bruce: Where's Jason?

Y/N, standing directly in the doorway with Jason in clear view: I dunno

Bruce: He's sitting right there.

Y/N: No? That's my boyfriend..Joshua.

Jason, nods in the background:

Bruce: Excuse me? That's not-

Y/N, immediately slamming the door in his face: You're excused! Bye!

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce sends birthday gifts to all his grandchildren Jason's goons.

Love this. A couple possible scenarios popped into my head and I can’t decide which is funniest:

1) Red Hood guilt trips Batman in public while accompanied by his four goons with the best sad puppy dog eyes. Bruce caves immediately.

2) Bruce does this as a way of making sure everyone knows Red Hood is Batman’s kid. Not Wonder Woman’s. If claiming Red Hood’s goons is what it takes for Jason to acknowledge Bruce as his dad he’ll take it. Gladly.

3) Bruce does this as a way of making sure everyone knows Red Hood is Bruce’s kid. That’s right. Brucie Wayne, Gotham’s favorite himbo, emotionally adopted the infamous Red Hood. (Everyone is too scared to ask about legally.) If Jason won’t acknowledge his relation to Bruce then he’ll have to get creative. Adopting a crime lord is far from the worst thing the press has supposedly caught him doing, and the look on Jim Gordon’s face at the Mayor’s Ball was an added bonus that he will cherish forever.

[ahfrickenfrick]

i feel like duke would be seen as a mediator a lot for problems but he’s secretly creating some of them cause he’s bored/petty/vengeful

like oh, tim took too long getting into his suit resulting in condiment king spraying duke with ketchup, so suddenly his laptop was plucked of its stickers, he of course assumes it was jason or stephanie

or when dick knowingly came over when he knew he was sick, resulting in duke missing out on a field trip due to a 24 hour cold, so suddenly the patrol schedule never got to dick on time, making him think bruce was being prickly again, forcing him over to the manor more

one day when he’s bored he places clues and riddles all around the mansion all leading to either dead ends or starts to other riddles, just to see what they would do

i need more petty duke LMFAO

[azuzulira]

So, reveal gone right. Maddie and Jack are nothing but supportive of Danny. Of course they feel guilty, for their bigotry, attacking their son, never even noticing the accident. It's Jasmine that proposes a family bonding activity, to spend time together and work through the years of issues that they can only now address.

The activity in question? Family Road Trip & Field Study! That's right; what better way for a family of scientists to bond than correcting literal decades of bad science? Which is how the Fenton family, alongside Sam and Tucker at Danny's request, wound up in Gotham, hoping to interview one of the strongest Genii Loccorum in America.

Of course, there's more than a few ectoplasmic encounters waiting for them in Gotham. Everything from an angry Revenant, to a baby liminal that Danny just knows is related to the guy who's been bathing in dirty ecto for like centuries, to a horde of restless spirits following some clown like a permanent thunderstorm.

[somewhereincairparavel]

okay but we know how ’brutal’ the ocean is considered right? when jason saved percy underwater, percy was understandably filled with shame and told him not to tell anyone about it, and we know that jason dies in the sea. what if it was the ocean's way of spiting jason for hurting percy's ego?

jason meant well by saving him, but the ocean is fiercely loyal to percy who's basically the prince of the sea, and jason had unintentionally made a grave mistake by exerting prowess and control over his father's rival's domain, because he got pay back by facing his demise in the same domain.

[webshood]

medical resident Jason saying he can't make it to dinner bc he has to make sure a guy doesn't go into anaphylactic shock and Bruce immediately assumes he gutted someone in a back alley