#jason makes a hate account on twitter

[fishfission-dc]

Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 6: Stephanie)

<<Part 5: Cass    |    Part 7: Damian >>

[Masterlist]

Steph: Okay my turn! Bruce I think you’ll be impressed by research and persuasiveness.

Bruce (head in his hands): How do I already have a migraine from this

Steph: My words are just that powerful, B-man.

Tim: I like the typo, really gives the impression of “professional social media manager”

Duke: Steph you are so brave

Tim: I’ll be surprised if you make it out of this alive. But you’re so right

Babs: Yeah like I applaud you for saying what we’re all thinking but it will probably get you killed within the next five minutes

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Jason: HA not the list of descriptors in the bio

Tim: For someone with “father” as 50% of their twitter bio you could tweet about your kids once maybe

Damian: It is very clear that you only post what is asked of you by your corporate underlings.

Dick: You met Kris Jenner???

Bruce: I don’t think this information is relevant to my duties

Tim: You don’t know who Pedro Pascal is?

Babs: You’re a celebrity, Bruce, I think it applies very heavily to at least one of your double lives

Dick: YOU MET KRIS JENNER?

Jason: Even I know this stuff and I actively try not to

Jason: I don’t know how much he’ll love you after this

[Bruce migraine noises]

Cass: (signing) He loves you :)

Tim: Another typo...

Duke: Steph how much time was it

Steph: Nope. We’re moving on

Babs: You made a Go Fund Me to make a... “Spoiler Signal”...?

Steph: Yeah do you want to donate I can text you the link

Babs: I think I’m good

Dick: I hate that tweet

Jason: You did it to yourself dude

Damian: Did you receive that footage of Timothy’s fall?

Steph: Yeah I’ll airdrop it to you :)

Tim: Yeah maybe let’s get rid of the vigilante twitter accounts

Jason: I clearly was coerced into that statement

Bruce: Jason why don’t I have your phone number?

Jason: Stephanie

Tim: YOU TEXTED BERNARD?

Steph: He knows a lot about Gotham’s vigilantes

Tim: Where did you get his number? Why did he already know it was you?? 

Steph: Oh we talk all the time :) Anyway,

Bruce: I’m sure you all remember why I was in GCPD’s headquarters.

Tim: To be fair that was mostly Damian’s fault

Damian: Todd purposely provoked me, the blame is his.

Jason: Okay but why would you bring a grenade to a gala?

Dick: We’re all sorry for fighting at the party can we not rehash this right now guys

Jason: See I would follow this Bruce Wayne. 

Tim: Except Steph you’re definitely not the favorite, especially after this 

Duke: Why does “The Batman” only tweet in the third person

Steph: I think it fits the vibe

[noises of collective agreement, and Bruce’s pain]

Steph: So Bruc-

Bruce: No.

<<Part 5: Cass    |    Part 7: Damian >>

[Masterlist]

[mysterycitrus]

if you could erase a comic authors works and have them be written by anyone else (of your choosing), would you erase scott lobdell or tom taylor?

tom taylor is a performative egotistical hack with an annoying twitter account but id still keep his work over a literal sex criminal who unabashedly hates women and set abolitionist discourse in comics back about two decades

ive talked about it before but my personal ideal run would’ve been an outsiders book set in space, with roy and kory and dick as the mcs. outlaws is bad for the same reason that most of the new52 is — they supplant comic canon with lots of text boxes insisting that characters have a pre-existing relationship, and spend no time actually establishing or portraying it. we see this now even tho it makes no sense timeline wise (jason and roy are besties even though roy is at minimum 7+ years older than him and was on the titans with dick?)

because dick and kory and roy all have long standing relationships together and with each other it would’ve made for a compelling story. there’s so much baggage and so much love there. if u got someone like winnick who can be (occasionally) trusted not to turn books into a batfest we could’ve gotten quality roy and kory character moments too, something that functionally did not exist in outlaws autonomously from making jason look cool. or id get gretchen felker martin to write a jason book cause at the very least she seems to understand the inherent hypocrisy behind his personal politics

tbqh id rather we talk about how dan didio facilitated not only the terrible treatment of babs, roy and kory, and basically every legacy character outside of bruce but also kept lobdell on as a writer despite the numerous allegations against him and the unquestionably toxic environment he created in comics. it’s not a coincidence that the moment didio was booted lobdell followed suit on the same shoe

[kitkats-and-kittens]

One of my favourite things to think about is the rest of the batfam all having their own ‘Brucie Wayne’ personas. So here’s me listing how I imagine the main family members would front to the public.

Dick

I think would be very similar to Bruce with the same air-headed personality. As far as the internets concerned he can’t spell orange and pretends not to know any of the 50 states let alone which one he lives in. He also uses the fact that he never officially finished college to his advantage. As a kid he was more eccentric and people just knew him as that little kid whose constantly high of sugar and lollipops. Not much changes when becomes an adult.

Of course like father like son and he is also extremely charismatic. His persona is a little more goofy than Bruce’s and he’s known as the Wayne’s resident gymnast, at least in the air. He’s made a habit of acting as though any and all fine motor skills come to an absolute stop the moment he isn’t doing some complex flip, or cartwheel. There are serval videos on YouTube of him tripping over air, spilling drinks over his shirt, and stumbling into several guests, only half of these were faked. He also has a reputation of being an absolutely insane drunk. He went viral on twitter for doing a triple backflip in the middle of a gala which resulted in a shattered punch bowl, several traumatised guests and a fake news report claiming he’d died which sent the city into a riot for the next 24 hours all because he was a little bit tipsy.

Jason

Jason was pretty young when he ‘died’. Before hand he was the happy go lucky kid. With stars in his eyes and more energy than a Chihuahua hiked up on red bull and pure, liquified blue raspberry. Of course you had the occasional leech who saw in some news report that he used to be a street kid which resulted in several rumours about his ‘horrid violent nature’ but all it took was actually meeting him for most to completely disregard this.

After his death he doesn’t hang around the rest of the family much. Especially not in public and out of masks. However there is the occasional day (once every millennia or so) where he’ll stroll up to whatever part or gala or social event the Wayne’s are hosting that day, with his foolproof, impenetrable disguise Tayson Jodd absolutely no relation to Brucies dead kid, nor the elusive red hood who has a hate account dedicated to his very existence.

His whole thing tends to be a regular upstanding member of society. He acts completely normal. This wasn’t always the case. He used to change it every time he went to the parties, either acting as some depressed, lonely rich guy or an alcoholic and on one particularly memorable occasion a closeted drag Queen. However one time he showed up without a persona pre made and ready to go and just decided to wing it.

However Tim Drakes insane paranoia meant he stayed up a good 3 weeks after that night just to make sure Jason wasn’t trying anything and when Red hood found out he found it absolutely hilarious and resolved to be as respectable as possible while also generating maximum suspicion for all other members of his family.

Stephanie Brown

Although not officially adopted by the Wayne’s most people have gotten used to seeing her just roll up with the Wayne’s and it didn’t take long for social media to realise that Brucie had emotionally adopted her, if not legally. At first Steph didn’t really understand the need for a persona. She was already fine with keeping her actual personality and not turning it off for the cameras.

It took seeing Jason, who was having an absolute blast with his public persona to open her mind to the range of possibilities and she spent a full 3 months crafting a personality from scratch (putting that psychology degree to good use).

She cycled through a couple. Rich party girl, serious career woman, ditzy idiot. But eventually she landed on scheming socialite. She saw some tabloids slandering her for being Tim’s ex and although the rest of the family was not happy she took it and ran with it. Landing herself in the circles of the most gossip loving, shit talking, hot woman she could find.

She makes sure she exudes villainy at all times and has been seen eyeing Timothy Drake from across the room, stroking a cat (though no one knew where she got it from) and sipping a martini. Although she doesn’t particularly like how cruel some of her companions are she finds no greater joy than passively aggressively remarking about how Donna is wearing the same heels she was 3 years ago and oh my is she running low on funds? She was born to instigate and takes every opportunity to do so.

Tim Drake

If Tim is known for anything then it’s his ability to appear as though everything has gone to his exact calculations on the outside while internally screaming and just completely winging whatever half brained plan comes to mind. But one forgets, he isn’t just a Wayne but a Drake. Son of Janet Drake at that.

As a kid he was very much a mamas boy and would replicate her cold calculating air to the best abilities of a 10 year old boy. As he grew up however he realised that he much preferred letting people underestimate him. So in the end he settled on the stoner.

It was pretty unexpected for most of his family. Bar Dick who embraced it with all the reverence of a chaotic older sibling. Of course Tim Drake being as meticulous as he is meant when he made this persona built it from the ground up. He gave himself a favourite drug, a fake dealer, and he methodically updates his account balance every week, taking out just enough that it looks like he’s been buying.

Not only does this have the added benefit of explaining the random times he’s passed out in the middle of a party or those random compilations of him on YouTube simply staring into the abyss for hours on end, but it also means he had to try way less than his siblings when it comes to presentation. If Dick or Bruce show up with even so much as a slightly ruffled collar the tabloids will go on for weeks about the mystery guy or girl they definitely slept with. But when Tim does it, they just laugh. He gets a pat on the head and a glass of water shoved into his hands and no one thinks anything more.

And if he can also use it as an excuse for a few extra minuets of sleep then whose going to stop him?

Cassandra Cain

Cass didn’t need to do much of anything. When she first arrived in Gotham she was small, quite and not very well versed in social customs so it was practically written in the stars that she’d become an instant fan favourite. However unlike most of her siblings most of her fans aren’t focused on her what she’s been doing, or with who, but rather on trying to spot her.

She’s some aloof, mysterious figure to them and she’s also become a bit of a where’s Waldo meme. News reporters will post overview shots of the huge hall the guest are occupying, the grounds of the manor, the well kept lawns, the roofs, and the internet will go crazy trying to find her. At first it was difficult but only because she kept to herself, you’d find her in a corner of the room, or hiding behind one of the taller guests but ever since she realised what was going on she’s been making a conscious effort to make it as difficult as possible.

Some of her hiding spots include: under the table, the roof, inside the fountain, disguised as Dick Grayson, a statue, on the chandelier, and somehow as one of the reporters, camera and all. It’s become a bit of a game to see who can find her first and she remains Gothams favourite Wayne.

Duke Thomas

Duke isn’t really sure what to make of this whole public persona thing. He finds hiding such a big part of himself a little strange, and doesn’t much enjoy the idea of putting on a mask for others. So he does what he does best and puts the rest of the Wayne’s to shame with his sound logic.

He’s just himself. And somehow manages to cause the biggest impact. The people aren’t used to rich people not being overly eccentric. This is Gotham after all! And Duke Thomas’ actual personality is not exactly something they were expecting.

This is the same man who raised an army of teenage armies in the absence of his hero. To call him impulsive would be an understatement. Also he very much enjoys ‘eating the rich’ so to speak. He used his powers to convince one particularly nasty man that he needed full psychiatric care by randomly disappearing whenever he was in their line of sight.

He hangs out with Dick a lot, but only so when the worst of the Gotham socialites approach he can make them feel as uncomfortable as possible by questioning their thoughts and feelings on the working class, living conditions and all the other stuff they usually couldn’t care less about which leaves them scrambling for an answer that won’t completely ruin their reputations. Although he’s been branded ‘the responsible one’ that’s only because he presents himself as such to reporters. Most of the people attending the galas live in fear of him ever approaching them.

Damian Wyane

Being the youngest meant that people already had expectations by the time Damian showed up. Although most had no idea where the kid came from that didn’t stop them from making assumptions, and the rumours circulating from before he was officially introduced range from a mini Bruce Wayne to raging alcoholic. And yes, these were published when reporters knew damn well he was 10 years old maximum.

When the public do finally see him for the first time it doesn’t take them long to craft a persona for him. Damian of course sees this whole thing as beneath him, he doesn’t understand why he would need to hide himself, he didn’t train with the league for years to just not show of his skills. Dick tries to get him to think of it like training, as though he were on an undercover mission. This works a little too well and now he takes it so incredibly seriously it’s hard for the others not to laugh.

He arrived, squeezed in between Brucie Wayne who was blowing kisses to the camera, Dick Grayson doing a handstand, Tim Drake who looked absolutely blitzed and Stephanie Brown who was manically rubbing her hands together. Cass nowhere to be found and Duke giving his classic sunny smile to the camera.

So of course people realise this kid must be the adult. There’s jokes about how Damian must be the one doing the Wayne’s taxes, about how he probably drives Bruce to work, and other such things. Which is only further cemented by the kid himself. But he also doesn’t talk much (Dick said if he had nothing nice to say he shouldn’t say anything), and a few (illegally taken) photos show him drawing, as well as his small army of pets and so people are torn between this kid who is clearly far too mature for his age and this cute baby of a child who likes fluffy animals and crayons.

Damian is disgusted by both sides, but there isn’t much he can do about it and resolves instead to fuck with everyone by leaning into it and alternating on a seemingly random basis between clueless child and grown adult in a 10 year olds body. It mostly ends up terrifying the rest of his family because occasionally Damian (who several of them watched kill a man) will come up smiling and demand to be placed on their shoulders, and other times the same kid (who found a cow a decided immediately he was a vegetarian) will be found sipping straight vodka and going on about the good old days with people 8x his age as though he were some drunken world war 2 veteran.

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

[5-7-9]

Saw someone else’s social media batfam posts so i had to make my own because i disagree

Dick would post gymnastic fun educational wholesome advice tiktoks

Jason would have a tumblr and rant about edgy stuff. Maybe have a gamer discord too.

Tim would post infrequent short shorts on instagram that make him look cool like shredding (skateboard) and sometimes his boyfriend’s antics or something really stupid like slime or ASMR

Damian might post his OC stuff and sometimes his animals infrequently, but he’d rather keep his privacy so you’ll never see his face.

Steph would troll people. Be the most ANNOYING internet troll and prankster but only towards genuinely concerning internet trolls and pranksters. So she’s constantly starting beef with all those weird tiktokers and instagrams and twitters that keep reporting her to take her down. She’s already gotten a few taken down but she prevails!!! With backup accounts.

Babs would have a twitter and make posts about history and books and libraries. Sometimes she feels like commenting on Gotham politics (wheelchair accessibilities and feminism). But since her dad’s a cop, she also feels obligated through connection to sometimes make a few statements regarding her dad’s involvement.

Duke’s at rallies and sharing speeches and interviewing other civilians about Gotham. He keeps getting flagged but after Wayne verified him he stayed up. Lots of highly influential political news reports are hating on Duke and his activist group. They tried suspecting Wayne to dismiss the legitimacy of Duke, which is fair, but all the effort Duke puts into making the small voices heard is appreciated by everyone. He also has a DnD podcast/streams with his friends :)

Cass wouldn’t have a media imo. She’d watch videos and ignore the comment section and/or record incomprehensible cryptid videos (like i used to) where people are convinced it’s an analog horror mystery and are trying to solve it

Oh and Bruce Wayne is obviously a verified twitter and only for professional business because privacy. Also he’s old and doesn’t understand the internet.

[dairy-farmer]

Can you please add this au here? Or update a03?

brutim| au where tim never became robin and one day bruce was feeling more pathetic than usual and decided to take a drive past jason's old school. he spots little dark haired and blue eyed timmy drake waiting at the bus stop while it's pouring rain, looking like a drowned rat.

sure! i don't mind! since twitter has made it so people can't view tweets or lurk without an account and i know that it can be quite a hassle for people to make another social media account and twitter has made it harder for people to interact with media. as for ao3 i really prefer to reserve it for more edited, complete works.

_________________

brutim| au where tim never became robin and one day bruce was feeling more pathetic than usual and decided to take a drive past jason's old school. he spots little dark haired and blue eyed timmy drake waiting at the bus stop while it's pouring rain, looking like a drowned rat. 

there's no other cars and bruce knows the bus won't come come for another hour...

bruce's first introduction to tim drake is pulling to the curb, lowering his window, and offering a ride home to this wet child who happily accepts.

maybe bruce should've have been concerned. 

lectured this child about stranger danger and about how bruce could've been a creep wanting to prey on him.

instead bruce is pulled in by this young thing who gushes about how grateful he is and about how good and kind mr. wayne is and...bruce. bruce has been having a hard time. 

mood swings, self hatred, feelings of worthlessness.

it's...nice to have a break from the voice in his head telling him what a piece of shit he is, how stupid, pathetic, and weak he is. how he's disgusting and everyone hates him, how he can never protect the things that matter.

tim drake is sweet and small and his voice is so kind. like an angel's. and he tells bruce about how wonderful and great he is, how he's tim's hero!

it seems a bit excessive for just offering a ride home in a nice warm car safe from the rain. but...bruce isn't in a good place. 

bruce feels horrible and he's been living in a pit of despair for so long and little timothy drake is..so nice.

he doesn't scream abuse at him like his brain and dick do. he doesn't remain so deathly quiet like alfred. he doesn't look at him with wary eyes like the gordons. 

there is no pity in his gaze like when he encounters other capes. he doesn't make bruce want to rip his skin off and yell at him to stop looking at him! stop making him feel like that! he doesn't like it!!

bruce is so inexplicably sad when he drops little timothy drake off. 

timmy lives in a building containing multiple floors of penthouses near the financial district of gotham.

bruce watches him go, watches as he turns back and offers him another wave while dripping water in the lobby.

bruce feels light for a whole hour before the dark returns. 

the next time the weather is bad (which in gotham is every week) bruce drives past the school again. and there little timothy is again.

he must recognize bruce's car because he lights up immediately. despite only meeting one time before, bruce feels similar feelings spark. 

it becomes habit to drive past the school and pick up sweet timothy. bruce starts driving past even when the weather isn't bad.

bruce knows he shouldn't. he's a stranger. he's never even met tim's parents. but he knows they wouldn't be happy to learn that bruce, a grown man they don't know, had taken it upon himself to start driving their son home. some part of bruce justifies it. that if they were good and vigilant parents they'd be able to stop this from happening. if they'd instilled a healthy fear of the unknown in tim he would've never gotten into a car with someone he didn't know. he would've never gotten into a car with bruce who he spoke so heartbreaking kindly to.

who treated bruce more softly than bruce had ever treated himself. who cupped bruce's cheeks and whispered to bruce about how good and wonderful he was. 

who broke bruce down and let him sob and cry into his shoulder as he rutted into a pink little pussy. sweet timmy let bruce spill his grief all the way inside him.

the orgasms helped shield bruce's mind from the dark cloud hanging over him and allowed him to enjoy tim's soft hands and sweet whispers about how bruce was so good and loving and how bruce was not a bad person how he had so much heart.

every day bruce picked little timothy drake up and every day bruce drove them to a different deserted location and crawled into the backseat where his tim would follow him. he'd pull off the sweater vest from his school uniform and unbutton his shirt to reveal little breasts, he'd roll up his skirt and lay on his back so bruce could crouch over him and mouth at his tits.

he would kiss bruce too. 

his sweet candy flavored lipbalm arousing bruce more as they'd sloppily kiss because tim was young and still learning how. when bruce kissed others it was always rushed and frantic and racing the other person to get their clothes off.

with tim it was comforting. reassuring. 

like a hug. bruce would press his body close and nearly sob with relief as tim's arms wrapped around him, stroking the back of his head and murmuring little comforts.

bruce rarely didn't cried when they had sex. when he worked open his belt, the button of his slacks, and fly. 

when he pressed into tim's warm, wet, tight little hole that was just a little too small for someone his size.

they didn't fuck so much as bruce would press his cock inside as just another way to be closer to tim.

sometimes they'd lay there for hours. bruce aroused and hard. 

tim softly hugging and kissing him, pecking away bruce's tears. occasionally tim would clench down on bruce and that would have bruce's hips arching and twitching in deeper.

bruce would cum eventually. not always from the little rutting they'd do when it was just too much. 

sometimes the emotions spilling over in him just pushed him over the edge and he'd grind and grunt and spill into the vice of tim's eager cunt. tim's little pussy always swallowed all of bruce's load, body accepting every bit of bruce's grief and never letting it back out 

so that it could hurt him again.

god bruce loved this little angel so much.

he made sure to make tim feel good, to find the pink little clit that would have tim huffing and panting and red cheeked and making confused little sounds because before he met bruce he hadn't known his body to be capable of feeling so good.

then the hot squirming of tim's insides around bruce's soft cock would arouse him again and the second time around bruce would push hinself up and fuck tim like the adult and equal that bruce knew he deserved to be. 

this wasn't some child preying perversion that bruce was doing. tim was his mental and spiritual equal, bruce's partner even if his body may be young and he didn't wear a cape.

bruce fucked tim like an adult. fast and deep and hard. and tim took it. 

his legs thrown over bruce's shoulder, soft whines muffled from bruce's kisses as bruce fucked him until the head of his cock slammed into a little cervix.

the first time they'd had sex like this it had been too much and tim had stayed home from school with the 'tummy ache' 

bruce had given him. the next time was better so was the one after that until tim's little pink cunt let out nothing but thick wet sounds at every slam of bruce's cock into him.

bruce would bite down on his lower lip, breathe thickly through his nose as he focused on chasing the spine tingling orgasm that was so close bruce could almost taste it.

it had taken awhile and with a lot of help he'd met from a little angel in the rain. but slowly...bruce got...better. the yells from those voice died down, the blame and vitriol they carried faded away. 

until all bruce was left with was a soft, breathless voice telling him how good and loving bruce was. how he was so good, so good, so good.

and eventually bruce believed it. that he wasn't bad. he was good.

he was so good. 

[ieatadoptmepets]

I love coming across tiktoks that make fun of batman because I headcanon that in the titans universe, all these tiktoks exist.

Dick thinks he's too good for tiktok, but he always sees the ones that blow up on Twitter and gets relentlessly tagged in them (I also headcanon that their identities were revealed and it isn't too much of an earth shattering problem just to make things more fun and easier) but pretends they don't exist to avoid having to admit he finds them funny as fuck

Tim sees them and often makes them and always shows them to his parents while laughing, they smile and nod along like they get it. Sometimes he'll motion to show them to his friends but catches himself and awkwardly and slowly leans back acting all suspicious and weird when he remembers he can't show them

Jason sees them and leaves casual comments on his verified account that leaves fans going crazy and the poster even crazier that *the* jason todd not only saw their tiktok making fun of *the* batman but also left a funny and approving comment (ps he doesn't leave comments to feed the fans, he thinks the absurdity of the poster seeing the comment is funny and likes being nice to fans, I hate the notion that he's full of himself). Sometimes he'll make videos like that on his secret accounts posing as a fan because big surprise, he actually loves his family but can't be out about it

Gar is who I think actually has the balls to show them to bruce's face, and he sees them all the time. He saves them all and when he sees bruce next he makes him watch them all. Bruce has come to expect it and hides from gar, but he transforms into a small enough animal to get past him and transforms back when he's alone. He keeps it a secret that bruce truly thinks of them as a family and lets his guard down

Rachel definitely does it too, but I see gar doing it happily like "look it's you!!😄😄🥳" and rachel as "ha, loser" and making fun of him

[toomanyfandomsneverenoughtime]

Thanks for the tag @joestarling 💖

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 85, including none Mat fics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 203,323

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mainly Mat fandoms but in the past, I wrote some DC (mainly Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, etc.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Cats and Birds Never Did Play Well Together - DC - Jay/Tim - 770 kudos The Carnality of Twist-It - BBC Ghosts - The Captain/Thomas - 349 kudos On Loan - DC - Dick/Slade, Dick/Jason - 314 kudos Catching Up With My Eyes Wide Shut - BBC Ghosts - The Captain/Julian/Thomas - 214 kudos Don't Knock It Until You've Tried It - BBC Ghosts - Julian/Thomas - 140 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? It depends on the comment and the commentor. I know I can get away with not replying to every comment from some people, they know I love and appreciate everything they say but if it's someone I don't know, I will tend to reply in the hopes that they'll read more of my things!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Possibly Ariel's Parting Gift, simply because it ends in pretty much the same way that YMATA does with some added angst.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't know, maybe Fanny Five Ways, it ends pretty well for Fanny?

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not directly, though I know that there's some hate on the previously mentioned fic on Twitter 🙃

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yep, it's all I write, usually at least elements at BDSM or kink, very rarely soft.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I do write crossovers but mainly Mat characters with Mat characters from different universes. I guess the craziest ones that I write are when I have Mat himself with Thomas and Julian and I guess that's a tad far fetched but it was fun to write and hopefully fun to read!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of but myself and @joestarling seem to readily influence each other with fic ideas and universes and it's wonderful &lt;3

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I did when I was much younger but my "cowriting", I wrote one chapter and they wrote another and we didn't really input into each others chapters because I don't like criticism 🤣

13. What's your all time favourite ship? Ariel/Chris

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? To be honest, I always end up coming up with ideas for further chapters of most of the fics that I write but there's no way that I'll finish them or even start them in some cases.

15. What are your writing strengths? Honestly, I don't know really. I can tell you what I like in my own fics and it's my own style of writing? I know I like this because I read a writer whose writing felt very similar to mine and I found it so easy and so enjoyable to read.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? Self-doubt, needing very precise conditions to be able to write, laziness when it comes to editing, and much, much more.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? What I'd normally do is just write the dialogue in English, in Italics and make it clear that it's a different language, that's what I did for writing Russian in an unpublished fic.

18. First fandom you wrote for? Back to the Future, it's still out there, just not on my AO3 account.

19. Favourite fic you've written? My personal favourite is my recent Ariel/Tentacle fic because I've wanted to write it for a while and I could write it in the exact way that it existed in my brain?

(Not tagging because I don't really know anyone else that writes fic - but if you see this and you want to do it, feel free to and tag me in your answers!)

[haveyoureadthishorrorbookpoll]

Have you read...

Jack Sparks died while writing this book. It was no secret that journalist Jack Sparks had been researching the occult for his new book. No stranger to controversy, he'd already triggered a furious Twitter storm by mocking an exorcism he witnessed. Then there was that video: forty seconds of chilling footage that Jack repeatedly claimed was not of his making, yet was posted from his own YouTube account. Nobody knew what happened to Jack in the days that followed - until now.

submit a horror book!

[frostise]

5 + 6+ 17!

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐄   ┇   accepting ♡

5. What’s the best thing about the fandom?

dc introducing killer frost to me when i was younger. not the comic version because that sucked major ass but the adaptations of her character in batman: assault on arkham, injustice: gods among us and justice league unlimited. they were my favourite the moment she came on screen. but even before i knew her? my first favorite dc character was batman and still is. then the og teen titans show and justice league unlimited came later. yeah...that's all i can say about dc really.

6. What’s the worst thing about the fandom?

the dc writers mistreating louise's character so frequently that i had to make a rp account just to give her character some much needed justice from the bad writing she's suffered for decades. it's almost funny how often they do it to every character in the dc universe. oh and the over sexualised depictions of her were the absolute worst to discover but not too shocking unfortunately. the dc treatment is...something.

i also hate coming across any toxic dc or marvel fans colliding with each other just because one person prefers another fandom. like...what? why's that still happening? it's 2024. reminds me of the "console is better than pc" debate or whatever. it's like a twitter argument to me.

17. Are there any ships you can’t stand, why?

long answer: anything to do with firestorm/killer frost i absolutely despise because for one; firestorm's character has always been depicted as a college/highschool student (jason rusch and ronnie raymond). louise and crystal were presumably in their 20s/30s/40s depending on the time period. it makes me want to hurl everytime i read the comics again and find out they had weird sexual tension/dialogue because dc clearly doesn't give a fuck about problematic age differences or making good writing for that matter. plus it was the 70's-80's and it was normalized back then?? it was wasted potential to me because their dynamics could've been tragic or even vicious! in my book, firestorm and killer frost will always be arch enemies no matter what!

short answer: firestorm/killer frost makes me hurl. outside of that god awful ship, i also hate seeing any problematic ships involving incest, pedophila, self-cest, race fetish or whatever fits that hellish category can go straight to the depths of satan's ass fr fr 💅🏼💅🏼

[ali-annals]

You Drew Stars Around My Scars

Cardigan AU Masterlist | Part 2 | Master Masterlist | Ao3 | CW: implied/referenced violence

Jasonette, Chapter 1/2, ~7k?

Marinette rushed from her last class to her locker.

The teeming crowds of students milled around the suddenly full hallways, pulling her closer to her goal. Her boyfriend often left little notes or clues to gifts, and it always brightened her day to find a loving surprise. How he knew her locker code, she didn’t know, but brushed it off (she’d certainly acquired dubious skills for stupider reasons than giving her SO a gift).

There was nothing there today, but when she slammed it shut she turned and walked into her boyfriend.

“Hey, Pixie. Ready to go?”

She groaned. “Nooo. I have to work on my Lit essay.”

“I can help; whatever you need.”

He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the quiet library, seemingly empty except for the rows of books and the librarian, Ms. Blue. She nodded familiarly at them and went back to her computer as they disappeared deeper into the library’s abyss. Finally, they stopped at a table and Marinette dumped her things on its surface.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

About an hour after they began working on their homework, Jason got up to find a book for references. A few minutes later, Marinette noticed he still hadn’t returned, so she decided to stretch her legs and go look for him. After scouring several rows, she finally heard a thump behind her. The trail of thumps led her to a corner of the library, where Jason was waiting with a smug grin.

“You did miss me.”

“Of course.” She rolled her eyes. “I have to keep a very close eye on you when we’re in a library or bookstore. I couldn’t wait too long or I mayn’t have seen you ever again. Like that time I lost you at the B&N.”

“Mayn’t?”

She punched his (stupidly solid) arm. “It’s an uncommon contraction that should be used more.”

“I’ll tell the world to start, then. We should make a prank on Twitter.”

“Oui, good idea! No one will know it’s us trolling them, and you can share your bizarre stories and explain your unusual skills.”

“What bizarre stories?” He followed her back to their table, setting up a new Twitter account on his way.

“Um, my ex-girlfriend possessed my other ex, for one. That time you met a civil, agreeable demon, for two…you are a mysterious person, Jason Todd.”

“Thank you, I try to be as cryptid-like as possible. What shall we name our crack account?”

“Um…our names combined make “Janette”; Janette can be the mod. For the handle, how about…Janette@pothamcrack. Yeah. And before you ask, Paris + Gotham equals Potham.”

“Great. Here, our first official tweet. Janette@pothamcrack says: ‘Mayn’t’ is an underused contraction. Use it more, cowards’.”

“Perfect. Can you make everyone we know that’s verified follow us so more people are subjected to our crack and insanity?”

•○•○•○•

Jason knocked on Marinette’s door. There was a brief flurry of activity, then she opened it enough to stick her head out.

“Heyyy, Jay. You’re early!”

“Is that such a bad thing?” he asked, faux-offended.

“No, of course not…come in. I just gotta…”

“Why is there blood on your sweatshirt? Are you hurt?”

Jason carefully circled her, gingerly trailing his hands over her body to check her reactions. When he reached her lower left ribs, she only winced once, very quickly, but he caught her reaction and yanked her Gotham Knights sweatshirt up a couple inches. Her hand grabbed his wrist tightly, preventing him from moving.

“Oh, sorry, Pix. I…should’ve asked first.” He felt quite remorseful, knowing she hated showing skin, though he didn’t know the reason why. But if she was hurt and hiding it, and bleeding…“How badly are you hurt, Pix? Do you need me to take you to the clinic?”

Marinette looked down. “I’m fine, it’s just a scratch,” she mumbled quietly. “I was just gonna change, you don’t need to worry.”

Now Jason was really concerned. Why was she hiding it? If it really wasn’t bad, she’d show him as proof, like that time he thought she chopped her fingers off (in hindsight he may have panicked a bit, but she was his girlfriend and he was terrified of something hurting her) and she immediately showed him the barely-visible nick on her finger.

He gently tilted her chin up to face him and started directly into her blue eyes.

“Marinette, I’m your boyfriend, and I’m worried about you. I understand if you don’t want me to see, but can you tell me what happened, at least?”

She dropped her gaze again, though it could only reach his callused hand this time, and inhaled sharply, then winced again.

“I was lightly stabbed from an attempted mugging, but I’m fine! It’s just a scratch! I’m sorry for worrying you. I was just gonna get a bandaid; it’s not that deep.”

“Stabbed and mugged? Marinette Wendy Dupain-Cheng Stone, why didn’t you tell me?!”

She jerked her chin out of his hold and glared at him. “Because I don’t need to answer you. I’m an adult and I can take care of myself just fine, thank you. If you don’t trust my judgement, then you obviously don’t respect me and you can leave me to my first aid.”

“Woah, Pix. I-” Jason stopped and took a deep breath.

“Okay, clearly you have some things we should talk about, but first, you’re right. I’m sorry. We can talk about this after you get first aid. I don’t have to watch, but I’m staying until we talk this stuff out, Marinette.”

Marinette headed to the bathroom where her closest first aid kit was and began unpacking it to search for the things she needed.

The door shut in Jason’s face with a decisive click.

He sat across the hall, leaning against the wall and talking to Marinette. She didn’t reply, but she didn’t chase him out or tell him to shut up, either, so he took it as a win.

Finally, the door opened and Marinette stood in the doorway, just looking at him.

Jason slowly got to his feet and scanned her up and down, just in case she’d bled out in the bathroom and was now a zombie or some other supernatural revenant his brain cursed him with imagining.

She’d left her sweatshirt off and was just in a white tank top, bloodstained on the lower left side (thankfully less blood than his traumatised brain helpfully made him think of), and her jeans. His eyes landed on her arms, which she usually had covered by a sweater or hoodie (usually one of his).

Scars of various sizes and shapes littered her arms and what he could see of her chest. She’d told him that everyone was healed and brought back to life, but he’d thought it was completely healed, not left with scars.

A sudden flash of insight hit him and he blinked, then moved across to hug her gently. “I’m glad you’re not seriously hurt. Are you in pain? Do you want me to get a pill?”

“One small slice does not constitute pain, Jason.” She was avoiding his eyes again, he noticed. He much preferred those pretty blues looking at him, not away from him in shame or pain or anger.

“I understand.”

Which hurts more, A or B? Forehand, or backhand?

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I didn’t…when you told me about Hawkmoth and Multimouse, you obviously toned it down a lot.”

Marinette realised he had picked her up and they were now in her kitchen, where he perched her on the island and began making her a mug of tea. Oh, she realised. He’s not just talking about the mugging.

Her lips quirked up a bit as she watched him move around her kitchen familiarly.

Jason handed her her favourite mug and leaned against the counter beside her.

“Are you okay, besides the 'light stabbing’?”

She glared at him over the rim of her mug, but it lacked heat. “Yeah, it was only an attempted mugging. The dude was following me so I ducked into an alley and when he 'caught’ me, I let him get close enough to stab me and then I grabbed his wrist, kneed him, and put him in an armlock. The stab was simply a tactical sacrifice. Then a nice cop drove by as I was zip-tying him, so I let him take the guy into the station. His name was, um, Dick Grayson, I think? He had similar features to you…anyways, yeah, I’m fine, you worrywart. I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier, I just…I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry. You were just worried but it reminded me of some situations in Paris and I reacted disproportionately.”

“I forgive you, Pixie. Can you tell me what part of what I did and said reminded you, so I can work on that?”

“The…well, it wasn’t really anything. I’m just always on guard because I had to fight for people to trust me so much, and my ex-partner was…always crossing lines and I was always explaining things I shouldn’t have had to. You were just asking out of worry, but I immediately jumped to you trying to back me into a corner. It’s not something you have to work on,” she snorted bitterly.

As she spoke, Jason picked up her free hand and began running his fingers over her arm soothingly. Marinette suddenly realised what he was doing and focused on the shapes. He was slowly tracing stars around every single mark and scar on her arms. Eventually, he reached her shoulder and left his arm comfortingly across them. She snuggled a little closer and they drank their tea in cosy silence.

○○○○○○○

To Kiss in Cars and Downtown Bars

Jason flipped through the security feeds from his office in the Iceberg Lounge. A familiar face at the back of the line to get in caught his eye. Why…

He changed out of his Red Hood gear into his usual outfit of jeans, a T-shirt, and his leather jacket (different from his RH jacket), then snuck out the door.

•○•○•○•

Marinette jumped as a large, warm hand was put over her mouth. She hadn’t heard anyone coming, but they were awfully brave to attempt…whatever…in full view of the bouncers a few metres ahead. She made eye contact with one but he completely ignored her!

Now Marinette was more annoyed at the bouncer’s incompetence than the person behind her!

“It’s me.”

She whirled around. “Jay? What’re you doing here?”

He plucked her ID from her hands (thanks to Fluff and Trixx, she had a passably legal ID) and examined it.

“Not bad. C'mon.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her behind the Lounge. A passcode later, they were in the dark hallway leading from the club’s fire exit.

“Here.” He handed her a metal bracelet. “It tells people to back off, you’re under the owner’s protection. You also won’t have to pay.” He pointed to his matching bracelet. “Maybe you’ll tell me why you’re trying to enter a club?”

She strolled over to the bar, him following closely as usual.

“I’m legal in Paris. Apparently, I have the worst luck. My old class is coming on an exchange in a couple months so they can tour some American universities and experience the American high school system. The problem is, they all think I’m dead - a strawberry daiquiri, please.”

“Mood. Can’t you…avoid them? Hack the system and become part of the class going to Paris?”

She chugged half her drink, impressing him, and shook her head.

“Most people in Paris think I’m dead. Paris is bad for me…all the memories…and I was asked to be a translator if there are any issues and because I’m a helpful person who still hasn’t learned to say no, I said yes! Although, I didn’t know it was my class until the details were sent after I already agreed.”

“Oh…that is a problem. I’m also fluent in French, could I replace you or at least help you?”

“I’ll talk to Mr. Patel, he’s organising it, but that should be okay. We can continue Janette’s crack—they’re so idiotic sometimes, and yet they can be so brilliant others, I really don’t understand it.”

“I can’t wait to meet them. And um, maybe don’t chug your drink without eating something?”

“Right. Want to dance?” She held out her hand. He took it and kissed the back, spinning her away from the counter.

“Sure.”

After a couple dances and a close call with a tipsy patron, they headed to a quiet corner, where Marinette dissected outfits and rated style with Jason, who knew a surprising amount about fashion. She supposed he’d heard more than one of her rants/lectures and picked stuff up.

Around midnight, Jason’s phone buzzed and he sighed.

“Hey, Pix, I gotta go. Can I bring you home first?”

“Sure. Did you bring your bike?” She followed him outside, her hand still in his.

“Nah, I borrowed a friend’s car because I had to transport stuff earlier.”

He led her to a sleek black car and opened the door for her. When he crossed the hood to get to his side, she leaned over and opened the driver’s door for him and smiled sweetly.

The drive to Jagged’s penthouse, where she was currently living until her parents finalised closing the bakery in Paris and joining her in Gotham, was quiet, broken by her soft humming of random song snippets.

“Thanks for the fun evening, Jay. I was so bummed about them coming, but you cheered me up.”

Marinette leaned over and kissed Jason’s cheek before she got out of the car, but he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her back for a longer, proper kiss.

“Night, Pix. Have sweet dreams, maybe of me?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she giggled and waved him off noncommittally. His ego would be too big if she told him she often dreamed of him.

•○•○•○•

Marinette sighed at Tikki and Wayzz for the fourth time.

“I know I should, I just don’t want to. Why can’t I live in denial a little longer? He treats me like a princess.”

“Marinette, this is the third time in three weeks that he left your date early with no explanation. This won’t be healthier for you in the long run if you keep denying it,” the ladybug kwami advised.

“I’m just tired, Tikki. Aside from the dates and being even more selective about what he tells me about his family and life than I am, it’s great! I didn’t want a busy, dramatic year. Can I seriously not just leave it a little longer?”

“Guardian, there is a difference between being patient and understanding, and letting everything slide because you don’t want to confront someone. There is a possibility he just doesn’t know how or when to bring some of these things up, so just try talking to him,” said Wayzz. “If that does not resolve anything, then you can consider what to do after that.”

“And as for the 'no drama’ you want, ignoring all of this is only adding to it,” Tikki interjected.

Marinette huffed a breath of hot air and crossed her arms petulantly, knowing the kwami were right. “Fine. I’ll ask him to meet me later.”

○○○○○○○

Peter Losing Wendy

“I think we should break up.” She looked him in the eye as she stabbed him in the heart with those dreaded words.

“Why?”

He knew it was for the best, it would keep her safer, but he’d hoped…if she wanted it, he would let her go, taking his heart with him, as he ignored the urge to hold her and never release her.

“You can’t explain those weird texts and calls and disappearances, and you’ve been late or left early with such plausible excuses…I can’t…it looks like Adrien 2.0. And believe me, I don’t want to think that, but …call it PTSD or whatever, you’re so hot and cold. You keep me at arms’ length for so many things, and then you turn around and you’re the warmest, most perfect boyfriend I could want. You’ve got this way of telling me everything, but it’s nothing at all…all an illusion. I just, I can’t do this again. It’s not fair to either of us. Gotham has been better to me than Paris, and I’m going to fight with everything this time.“

…And now she was taking his shattered heart with her.

“I asked you to come so we could talk about it, try and figure this out, but you cancelled last-minute, again, Jason. Once or twice I understood, but now it just feels like you’re avoiding me, or at least avoiding opening up to me. I’m just…done. I can’t ignore all of this anymore, and I’m tired.”

He couldn’t do this to her. He’d seen how scarred she was after Multimouse. Now, as an ordinary civilian with loads of PTSD, he wouldn’t risk hurting her anymore, repeating Parisian mistakes.

He swallowed. “I’m sorry, P-Marinette.” He turned to leave, blinking rapidly. “If you’re in trouble, call me. I’ll still come.”

As he turned to shut the door his eyes met hers.

Both pairs were overflowing.

“Goodbye, and good luck.”

The door closing behind him sounded like a sentencing being put into effect.

•○•○•○•

She didn’t go to school for two days, choosing to curl into a ball and cry instead.

When she’d first enrolled as Marinette Stone - courtesy of Jagged and Penny helping her set up a new life in his hometown - everyone had been trying to get to know the other new transfer student, Jason.

She’d snubbed him, wanting her final school year to be drama free, and he’d laughed.

Thus began an academic rivalry, and everyone thought they were sworn enemies from the cold way she’d greet him in the halls. For his part, he was warmer to her than anyone else, which confused her, but she wrote him off as a masochist.

But thanks to meddling from Mrs. Perez, who paired them up on a very important assignment, they became sworn besties instead, which led to dating. They kept it quiet, finding that trolling the entire school was hilarious to them, as well as the disappointed look in Mrs. Perez’s eyes when at the end of the assignment, they were still rivals and not in love (yes, Mrs. Perez was the biggest Marison shipper).

Jason picked up one of her design scribbles and looked at the hand-lettering she’d done when she was bored in class.

“Your name is Marinette Wendy Dupain-Cheng?”

“Yeah, so?”

“We’re Peter and Wendy! My full name is Jason Peter Todd.”

“Didn’t they end up not together?”

“… Right. Well… You’re petite, so you can be Tinker Bell then.”

She hoped her face conveyed her scepticism. “Tinker Bell? A pixie?”

He ignored her and exclaimed, “Pixie it is!” happy to finally have a nickname she didn’t hate or have bad connotations with.

Marinette cried even harder at the memory. They hadn’t ended up together, after all.

○○○○○○○

I Knew You (Marked Me Like A Bloodstain)

The tell-tale swish of a grappling hook being deployed caught Jason’s attention from where he sat on the roof’s vent, swinging his legs as he surveyed his empire’s capital, Crime Alley. He rolled backwards off the vent and faced the Dark Knight, tensing for an altercation, whether verbal or physical.

“What do you want, B,” he snapped, annoyed his depression session had been interrupted by the partial cause of the entire mess he was moping about right now.

Batman didn’t move, signifying he wanted to talk right now, not fight.

“You haven’t been around in either capacity lately, and you didn’t respond when Nightwing texted you earlier, either. I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”

Angrily, Red Hood turned on Batman with a growl. “As you can see, I’m out, so I’m perfectly healthy. You don’t need to check in on your wayward soldier personally. You only care that I’m fine so that you know if you can call me to help on missions and I’ll come running back like a dog when you whistle. Just because I’m working with you more doesn’t mean I’m one of your little clones who only exists to be useful to you; I have my own life and I don’t have to answer to you about any of it.”

“Hood, where is this coming from?” Batman truly sounded bewildered. “I was only checking on you because I care about you. I care about your health and functioning because I care about you.”

“Well maybe you care too much, B. You’re constantly calling me out on missions and that’s about the only time you contact me, unless Agent A requests it. If you actually care about me as a person, if not your son, you’d ask to see me outside of the mask, but you haven’t, which leads me to my previous conclusions. I’m taking a break from all of your messes. If you need my help, don’t contact me, and clean it up yourself. I’ll be back when I’m back—if I’m back. And don’t snoop!”

Hood jumped off the roof and landed on a fire escape, using parkour moves to slide down railings, and assassin-training to evade Batman’s close tail. Eventually, Batman gave up and Hood moved out of the shadows to mope back in his Bat-proof apartment.

•○•○•○•

Chasing Shadows (in Grocery Lines)

Red Hood angrily yanked the knots tight on the goons’ restraints. He knew the Untitled were in Gotham, but why? Besides the obvious (to kill him), of course.

A flash of movement caught his eye, and he followed it carefully. He snuck up behind the faux-Catwoman and hissed, “Who are you and why are you here?”

“…Catwoman, of course. You know cats, curiosity kills us.”

Convincing.

She acted similarly to Selina, but she was… off. Wrong inflection, similar mannerisms but they were too forced, the suit wasn’t pure black like Selina’s (it was black with grey accents), no purr…

“No, you’re not. Catwoman and I have a bi-monthly feline petting session where we complain about Batman, so I’ve spent enough time with the Sirens to know you’re just… Uncanny Valley Catwoman.” He waved his hand at faux-Catwoman’s entire existence.

She hissed and her ears and tail twitched.

Were…they real?

“Look, I don’t want to fight you, but you’re making it hard. Don’t insult 'short’ people. It’s not our fault you’re trees.”

“I’ll stop saying things like that when you stop looking at me as if you want to climb me like one,” he retorted.*

Wait, faux-Catwoman, Bat-adjacent, flirting on a roof… NO! I’m not becoming Bruce!!

“I’m here because I think some of my trainer’s enemies are after me,” faux-Catwoman blurted in an attempt to change the subject.

Ha, he could still see her cheeks and neck warming.

“Who?”

“They’re a creepy old magic group called the Untitled. Ironic, I know. I don’t know much about them besides the fact that they’re incredibly evil, and they want my Miraculous.”

“Are you All-Caste too?” He didn’t think they had anyone left besides himself, but if they were travelling while the Untitled attacked, maybe someone escaped…

“What?”

“Nevermind. I didn’t know the Untitled had more enemies than my sect. I’m the last member; the Untitled wiped the rest of us out. I can tell you more about the Untitled once I finish my patrol, in 20-ish minutes?”

Faux-Catwoman nodded. “The gargoyle across from Drake Industries work for you?”

“Sure. What should I call you, by the way?”

“Onyx. Ciao!”

Twenty-three minutes later, Red Hood grappled up to his gargoyle, finding Onyx sitting beside it, casually swinging her feet as if she wasn’t 40 stories up and untethered.

“So, you like Freddy too?”

“Freddy?”

“My thinking gargoyle. You’re new in town.”

Onyx sighed heavily. “No, you’re just the first person to notice I’m not Catwoman.”

Jason sensed she needed to talk more so he employed his most effective interrogation technique, silence, and she began talking a moment later.

“This is Paris all over again. Do you know about what happened in Paris?”

Jason nodded and pulled out a granola bar from his pocket, unwrapped it, and began eating as she continued.

“I was Ladybug. When I became Guardian of the Miraculous, I revoked my black cat’s ring. He’d been corrupted since he wasn’t a true black cat, and also from living in a house with the corrupted butterfly and broken peacock Miraculous. His dad was Hawkmoth, though he didn’t know that, and he was my boyfriend as a civilian. Turns out he was cheating on me with my bully per his father’s and my bully’s manipulation.

“I used the Miraculous of Multiplication to become Bugmouse and Catmouse, and when I got the Miraculous from Hawkmoth, I put them away.

"My uncle helped me move here to start afresh… in Paris, everywhere I went, there were memories… And most weren’t happy. When I came here, life was great… I didn’t think I wanted another boyfriend but I did get one… And now I’ve broken up with him. He was perfect, and I was waiting for the imperfections, but… It turned into Paris II: Electric Boogaloo. He would disappear randomly, and it seemed like he was waiting till I was busy so I wouldn’t notice. I followed him once because he’d left something behind, but it was like he knew I was tailing him and he lost me. He never introduced me to his family — he said they were semi-estranged, but I can’t help wondering…

"So I grabbed a Miraculous and became Onyx; beating up bad guys is better than therapy, y'know? I just didn’t expect to be traced by the Miraculous’s signature by the Untitled.

“And now Gotham is becoming Paris,” she finished with a heavy sigh. “At least to me.”

After another silence, she gasped quietly. “I’m sorry for monologuing on you, you just felt… like a comrade, maybe? You give off safe vibes, anyways.”

The more she talked, the more she solidified his suspicion that Onyx was Marinette.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Onyx.” He didn’t want to say anything else, partially out of guilt, and partially to stop himself from explaining everything and throwing himself on her mercy and begging her to take him back.

“So, the Untitled?” Onyx cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, turning to see his (masked) face a bit better.

“Right. The Untitled are millennia-old evil sibling magicians who got their power from a well of evil. There are only eight members of the Untitled, but they are very old and powerful. They were enemies with the group who trained me, the All-Caste, and killed them all. They can’t be killed by normal means, but I have the All-Blades, which can defeat them. Do you have anything that can harm them, do you know?” Hood asked.

“I suspect the ‘Cataclysm’ power and perhaps ‘Clout’ or ‘Uproar’, and though I’d prefer not to test it in battle and find I’m wrong, I don’t know how else to confirm my hypothesis.”

“Then how about you stay in the background while I take on the Untitled with the All-Blades, and when there’s an opening you try your hypothesis?”

“I can do that. When are we going?” He asked her.

“Sooner rather than later, I think. When can you-”

“Okay, give me ten minutes,” Onyx interrupted. “I’ll get my Miraculous and meet you at the warehouse at the edge of Gotham, in the westernmost part of the Tricorner Yards. You can lure the Untitled there or something, right?”

“Yeah, I can do that. Ten minutes average or ten minutes on the dot?”

“On the dot. I have a very precise Miraculous.”

“…okay. See you in 10, Onyx.”

•○•○•○•

Ten minutes later, Onyx appeared in the shadows of the warehouse, where Jason was already in the middle of two Untitled, his glowing swords flickering in the dark and giving off an eerie vibe. The chill and sense of evil permeating the air didn’t help, either.

Onyx’s suit was now pure black, with thin stripes of red, magenta, and brown scattered around her suit.

“Cataclysm,” Onyx whispered and threw the ball of destruction at the Untitled on Jason’s rear.

The Untitled were now alerted to her presence and she moved swiftly from shadow to shadow. One began to approach her, and she instinctively activated the tiger’s power, ‘Clout’. The immense power from the magical punch knocked the being out, and Onyx turned her attention to the two Untitled who took the place of the previous duo already taken care of by Red Hood’s swords.

“Uproar!” she cried, hoping the power-disrupting ability would work on the beings as she tossed the circlet like a frisbee at them. Onyx breathed deeply in relief when she realised her powers did work on the Untitled and turned to face the remaining two, back to back with Hood.

They attacked at the same time, swirling black shadows with surprising speed, but Onyx had prepared a second Cataclysm and yelled “Jump!” at Hood as the Untitled reached them.

The Untitled almost crashed into each other and tried to stop themselves before they could collide. It was too late, however. Onyx and Hood jumped to the first level above them (superpowers handily granting them extra height), and watched as the same cataclysm turned both ghouls into nothing.

Hood exhaled jaggedly and turned to her. “You have some nice moves and those were some sick abilities!”

She grinned, a little winded from using three Miraculous at once, and replied, “You weren’t too bad yourself! Those swords sure are handy.”

“Yeah… Thank you for your help, Onyx. I couldn’t have taken them all down at once without you.”

She waved it off and swung down to the floor again. “It was my pleasure, I assure you. I’m thrilled one less group of weird power-hungry monsters is after my head.”

“If you want to team up for a night of regular vigilantism, that’d be cool. Or are you leaving, now that you’re safe again?”

“No, I’m here for another unforeseen amount of time,” she sighed, civilian life distracting her.

Hood didn’t want to have her dwelling on their breakup quite yet so he decided to distract her. “Hey, how’d you learn that flippy move you did back there? It was really cool.”

Onyx cheered up a little. “Really? Thanks. My uncle taught me, actually… I’d taken gymnastics for a couple years so I had a good base and then he built off that. I have a similar build to his daughter, so he taught both of us. I think you’d get along great… He does prefer a sword, but he’s still pretty handy with a gun.”

“Oh, maybe I’ve heard of him?”

“Uh…Slade Wilson?” Onyx asked hesitantly.

Deathstroke was Onyx’s uncle?!

“Your uncle is Deathstroke?!” he blurted.

Onyx chuckled guiltily. “Heh. Not by blood, my nonna just has a ton of connections with really strange people, and she introduced us a few years ago. He kinda adopted me, so I just call him uncle. Y'know, we only see each other a couple times a year. He likes to surprise me when he visits and keeps my skills sharp, so he usually makes sneak attacks. I’ve got a good eye for attempted assassinations thanks to it!” she said cheerily, rambling in her nervousness but somehow concerning him more.

Hood was a little more scared of Onyx after he learned that information.

Yeah, Talia al Ghul had adopted him, but she was less likely to come after Marinette just because she was dating her son. Also, he knew her.

Slade was protective of his children, even if he did nothing else as their father, and he was unpredictable.

Hood shivered and headed home chilled, looking over his shoulder a couple more times than he usually did.

•○•○•○•

Jason wandered aimlessly down the aisles, collecting items he remembered he needed and tossing them in his basket. Bread, yeast for when he was feeling less sad and went back to making his own, milk, oats, soap, bandages and ointment, coffee, chicken, ice cream.

He headed to the only checkout lane open and put his purchases on the conveyor belt. The bored and tired-looking young adult started soullessly scanning them while Jason rolled his eyes at a gossip rag loudly proclaiming Wayne family "news” on its cover.

He reached for his wallet and spun back to face the shadows. Slim, black hair, shadowy…Marinette?

He looked closer and grimaced at Cass.

“What are you doing here?” he signed, annoyance clear in his body language.

“Saw you going by and you looked sad, so I followed you. No one else knows,” she replied.

He frowned harder. “I’m fine. Just tired. And I told B not to contact me. I’ll talk to whomever of you I want when I want to, and I don’t want to talk to any of you right now,” he signed emphatically. “Thanks for checking on me, but I don’t need it.”

He turned back to the slightly bewildered-looking cashier, who had only seen him making gestures at the shadows, and rolled his eyes harder. Stupid Bats, always making him look foolish.

He grimace-smiled politely and handed over the cash, grabbing his bags and leaving immediately, feeling even more foolish for thinking Cass had been Marinette.

Marinette wouldn’t be near him willingly for a while. Clearly he needed to do something about that.

He’d been feeling more foolish in the past couple days than in the past couple years combined.

Marinette had told him she was a temp hero, Multimouse, and stayed in contact with her friends, who had been temporary and official heroes. She clearly still cared about them and knew they were heroes, yet didn’t act any differently. He could’ve told her his secrets, she would’ve understood and kept them, but he didn’t want to hurt her with them.

Well, if she was still friends with official heroes, she’d obviously weighed the risks and decided it didn’t matter. He should have let her choose in their relationship, too.

Marinette had good judgement (the only strike he had against that evidence was her agreeing to date him in the first place, but then again he’d always been a good actor out of necessity) and he trusted it, although he hadn’t really shown that.

Tired of waffling between should he talk to her/should he leave her in peace and never show his face in front of her again, he finally decided.

PART TWO

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (11-17 Jun 2023)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 Grounds For Divorce (Tepre) - 122K, drarry, accidental soulbound - the years of them dealing/not dealing with the Bond, the angst, Harry being a mess & figuring shit out, a trip to Egypt, family, lemon trees, a cat and a garden

😊👂‍ Murder at the Beauty Pageant (Miss Underhay Mystery #12) (Helena Dixon, author; Karen Cass, narrator) - Kitty & Matt solve a beauty pageant murder while hampered by a new, obstreperous Inspector

😊 Once Upon a Tome: The Misadventures of a Rare Bookseller (Oliver Darkshire) - charming, amusing & affectionate account of Oliver's journey in becoming a rare bookseller. (Oliver runs Sotheran's twitter account & if you know, you know.) [when I put the hold on this at my library there was no audiobook available but upon returning it, i see that one is there now, and i'm salty bc honestly this was the perfect book for an audiobook!]

💖💖 +74K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

A Place of Healing (this_wayward_life) - MCU: stucky, 12K - very cute & fluffy modern no-powers AU with nurse!bucky and doped-to-the-gills recovering steve who falls head-over-heels at first sight

Memories are Made of This (eleveninches) - MCU: stucky, 13K - recovering bucky angst-with-a-HEA

Long Time Coming (BewareTheIdes15) - Smallville: Clark/Lex, 14K - not my usual playground but I've enough osmosis cultural knowledge to enjoy this excellent fic; the characterizations were great - Lex's POV was absolutely hilarious, he was really going thru it

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Hot Ones - Jason Sudeikis

Why city flags may be the worst-designed thing you've never noticed | Roman Mars

Food for the Gods | 1909 Recipe

Songs That Changed Music: Ian Dury & The Blockheads - Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick

Game Changer - s5, e7-8 "The Bachelor"

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Switched on Pop - Listening 2 Daft Punk: Random Access Memories

⭐Smart Podcast, Trashy Books - 566. The Blessings of Comfort Reads with KJ Charles

Desert Island Discs - Simon Pegg, actor

Our Opinions Are Correct - Mini Episode: Which Star Trek Character Deserves Their Own Show?

Rachel Maddow Presents: Déjà News - Episode 1: Riot at the Gates (Again)

Radiolab - The Seagulls

⭐Into It - How Netflix Envy Broke TV

⭐The Sporkful - Inside The World Of Food Smuggling

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Greenbrier

Shedunnit - Miss Marple, Spinster Sleuth

⭐Vibe Check - I’m Not Gonna Smile for You, but I Might Twerk

Ologies with Alie Ward - Pectinidology (SCALLOPS) with Samantha Lynch

Outward Plus - Lesbian Bars: A Love Story

The Waves Plus - Your Period Deserves Respect

You Are Good - Men in Black w. Stef Rubino

Our Opinions Are Correct - A Sense of Place with Jessica Johns

Into It - 'The Flash,' 'The Idol,' and 'The Ultimatum': Watch, Hate-Watch, or Skip?

Dear Prudence Plus - I Tested My Partner’s Parenting Readiness and He’s Upset. Help!

Pop Culture Happy Hour - The Flash and What's Making us Happy

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - World Famous Crochet Museum

Radiolab - Beware the Sand Striker

Endless Thread - Treasure in the Woods

Welcome to Night Vale #230 - Carlos, Explained

99% Invisible #540 - The Siren of Scrap Metal

Re: Dracula - June 17: Die Away in the Distance

ICYMI Plus - Was the MirandaSings Controversy Inevitable?

Outward Plus - Pride Special: Why the Law Cares About Your Sex

Switched on Pop - Chartbreakers: Mexican regional y más

⭐Hit Parade Plus - Yes We Can Can Edition

Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me! - James Marsden

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Juice Newton radio

The Essential John Denver

The Complete Albums 2000-2009

Pop Radio • Workout

Kylie Minogue's entire 14 album, 32 yr discography in order + 3 special compliation albums

Pop Radio • Pump-up

Trip Hop Instrumentals

The Pointer Sisters

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Thanks, @my-excellent-bicycle, for recommending me this recent podcast interview with David O'Doherty. I annoyingly couldn't find a non-Spotify link, and I normally do my best to avoid Spotify, so it says something about how much I wanted to hear it that I listened to it on Spotify when I couldn't find it anywhere else.

I really enjoyed it. DO'D is great in interviews - he's like Mark Watson, in that he's one of those comedians who's really thoughtful and analytical and insightful and all those other qualities that make someone good specifically as an interviewee. Lots of people are very funny and talented comedians but don't much to say in an interview that's worthwhile. DO'D's always got good stuff to say, which is why I will listen to any interview of him that I come across (or helpfully have someone send to me), even if it means I have to use the Spotify media player.

First of all - did anyone else know the meaning of his internet name? I knew that he uses phlaimeaux on Twitter, and I think a few other sites. I'd heard him say before that it was a breakdancing name, which sounded fucking ridiculous to me, I thought I must have misremembered it, or, more likely, misunderstood it in the first place. Maybe he was joking and I just didn't realize.

But in this interview he explained it in more detail, and no, I had it fucking right. When he was a kid, he did breakdancing, and when he was about twenty, he created a Twitter account, and he used the nickname he'd been given as a child breakdancer. Because he didn't think Twitter would be a big enough deal for it to matter what name he chose, and he didn't expect to get famous, so he didn't put more thought into it than that. That was all stuff I'd heard before; all this interview did was confirm that I hadn't, you know, dreamed it. But this interview did give me the new information that the reason why it was his breakdancing nickname is it's a phonetic spelling of "fly mo", which is short for "Fly Motherfucker". Which is fucking adorable. It's mean to be pronounced Phlai-maux.

I would say it's extremely weird that DO'D has a fucking breakdancing name, but actually... I did once make a gif that compiled several instances of David O'Doherty throwing himself at various things (respectively: Daniel Kitson, the floor, Jason Byrne) in various years (respectively: 2007, 2005, 2003) at Late 'n' Live shows. Apparently that man has breakdanced before.

Anyway. Even aside from that, it's a good interview. He talks a lot about his origins in comedy, which is always interesting to me. About his dad being a jazz musician and him getting that plastic keyboard as a kid and meeting the Conchords in early 00s Edinburgh and jamming with them and that led to him opening for them on a tour of America years later.

But he also gets into comedy in general, which I found very interesting. About what comedy is, what should and shouldn't be considered part of the genre. Stuff I've heard him say at other times, that he's friends with Hannah Gadsby and angry at all the backlash Nannette got, not just because so much of it was misogynistic (though it was, and he knows that), but also because so much of it was based around claims of "this isn't comedy!", and he hates any narrow views of what comedy is. That these people think comedy is always just one guy with a microphone doing 50 punchlines in 10 minutes.

I find that discussion interesting, of what should be classed as "comedy". And I'm in DO'D camp - I think pretty well anything can be comedy. Personally, I've been broadening my comedy horizens lately, but it definitely has borders. In the last year, I've tried a lot of things that I was hesitant about because they were billed as experimental, and I wasn't sure if I'd "get it". Joseph Morpurgo, Jordan Brookes, John-Luke Roberts. At one point, that seemed too "experimental" for me, until I actually tried it, and learned that no, it's just funny. You don't need some special extra sense for "getting" complex art to understand it. It's funny. I've only recently been trying hard to give sketch comedy a try. I'd avoided that Lazy Susan special for ages because I'd thought it would be too complicated, until I watched it, and... honestly, it's so not complicated. You so don't need to be some deep knowledgeable comedy fan to understand what they're doing. It's just funny sketches. Honestly, I don't know why I ever thought of sketch comedy as "not my thing" because I'm "not knowledgable enough about comedy to understand it". Fucking Monty Python, my favourite show for a while as a kid, was sketch comedy. It's just jokes in a slightly different format.

Having said that, there are still sub-genres of comedy that I consider "outside my wheelhouse". I keep wanting to give that Elf Lyons special Swan a try, but I recoil a bit at anything that can be described with the word "clowning". The word "cabaret" will also throw me off. I've enjoyed a few drag shows I've been to in person over hte years, I'm not sure I have enough appreciation of the form to enjoy it in a recording. Not all forms of comedy are for me. But I love that they're all out there! I love that people are doing weird experimental theatre and drag and burlesque and clowning and it's all comedy. And maybe someday I'll appreciate it all.

These are all things DO'D got me thinking about, when he talked about people who have too narrow a view of what comedy is. And he talked about all the different things out there that he loves. He mentioned Sam Campbell, and reminded me that Campbell's couple of specials that are YouTube are also things I'd initially avoided because I heard he's a bit "experimental" and I thought it might take some extra comedy knowledge to "get it", until I watched it, and learned, no, he's just fucking hilarious. Also, he did a very funny Comedy Blaps thing, and David O'Doherty was in it. God, I can't wait for Tasmaster season 16.

There was other good stuff in the interview too. It's worth listening to for people who like hearing David O'Doherty talk. Thanks for sending it to me, @my-excellent-bicycle.

[lexa-griffins]

thanks loads for the quick response, you were so lovely!! 🌸 as i said i’m just starting to educate myself so i don’t want to get things wrong or support someone who doesn’t deserve it. for example, Eliza.. like im still confused about this other topic bc i’m not interested enough, my heart already belongs to Alycia and i mean Alycia only, so… that’s what i’m focusing on. okay so basically that’s what i thought, the “could’ve handled it better” was about her not actually handling it at all, in a way, which i like to believe has nothing to do with her “hating” lexa (it’s something i keep reading online and idk where it comes from) or her fans. Bad advices and likely her trying to save Jason’s a** lead her to shut the discourse. but if this makes sense for the first weeks/months following lexa’s death, what i don’t understand is why she did seem annoyed when fans brought up lexa to conventions etc. but if she hated the fans and/or lexa, i can’t possibly believe she would’ve ever accepted to come back to the show for the finale. she came back bc she cared (about lexa, i mean SHE played her for gods sake, it must be hella important for her as well!!) and knew it was important for the fans, i guess. I’m almost scared to talk about this as i know Eliza’s fans are mad about it and especially Eliza/b0b supporters (i’ve seen enough on Twitter dear lord) but if what some people say is true, that he asked Jason to fire her bc he was jealous of her success, then maybe HIM being fired was also one of the reasons she willingly came back? like don’t get me wrong, i’m sure a big fat paycheck played a huge part too 😅 but trying to add more pieces to the puzzle here, as i really know like 40% of what happened behind the scenes with Jason and all when lexa was killed off, so again, i’m sorry if this always ends up being super long but i’m trying to do my homework here 📋🖊️ (and you genuinely are super kind btw which i’m super grateful for 😭)

I have never opened my mouth about the E and B topic because I am not about to open that can of worms or invite their fans to fight me here. I was a huge E fan and just a week before all the shit came out i was talking to a friend about how i wish clarke and her got the same love Lexa and Alycia do... that came back to bite me in the ass real quick 😅 you guys know how much i love Clarke but damn was it impossible for a bit there for me to be able to watch clexa and clarke scenes again and be able to seperate e from Clarke. We clearly got there tho 😌

In a way, I can understand why she was a little annoyed at cons. Alycia never went to a con with the main intent of talking about Lexa, she was on FTWD, she was probably very excited about it and was sent there to talk about it and yet every question she got was about a character that st that point she had not played in maybe a year if you account for the time between filming and the episodes coming out. And its probably nerve wracking to have a room full of people who care so deeply for a character and that are part of a community that is marginalized and her having to say the right thing. Not to meantion like most actors sometimes the line betwwen Lexa the character and Alycia the actor got a little blurred and i get the sense Alycia is the type of actor who wants a clear separation between herself and the character. Maybe wrongly so she tried to distance herself from Lexa not because she hates the fans but because it was what she and others around her felt was right for her career having just started on a new show.

We know B was most likely fired but I doubt that he was the reason why Alycia left. I truly think Jrot believe he was doing something with Lexa's death and that he was telling a epic story, i really think any other story of B wanting her gone and what is now know its false about her not being able to do both shows (AMC was ready to let her continue on the show, i wish i could link you a source to this) - making Alycia agreeing with Jason probably just PR trying to not cause a drift. Alycia (and Jason) kind of alluded to the fact that there had been chances for Lexa to come back before but that Alycia didn't feel comfortable with it and I do think that shows that she respected the fans and didn't want to be used as a prop to make fans to watch the show again. Her being in the finale was a surprise (well, not to me and many others because it felt like there had been hints being dropped for a good while). While i dont doubt the nice pay check wasnt an incentive Alycias entire message for the shows finale felt very sincere to me and very clearly dedicated to the fans. Blorke/B/E fans (well, B fans, lets be real here they only care for her because shes with him, they used to call her names before that) think that just because Alycia is both rather private and doesnt try to take fans money left and right that she hates her fans and hates Lexa. I just think that Alycia didnt really speak up when it was the time for it for whatever reason - i dont think it was out of malicious intent but i do think she should have said more - and talking about it now would just come across as trying to stir something up unless it was directly asked of her to talk about it. Id like to think she has proven herself an ally and a decent person where i dont think she has to talk about Lexa for me to consider her "forgiven" for not speaking up back then.

No need to say sorry, i totally get trying to understand what the fuck happened in this fandom of ours 😅 i just hope im saying things accurately because i have been here since mid 2015 so some things really get blurry around the edges. There used to be master posts or something im sure that explained things because this was a whole thing that last through most of 2016.

☺️ i might not remember or know how to answer everything but if you have any more questions about the fandoms history and if i can help and respond, feel free to ask me! :)

[itsgeecheebitch]

Ugh, I honestly hate that my dopamine receptors are so used to me going on Facebook.

I managed to detach myself from twitter. I stopped going on Instagram. And I stopped listening to Black manosphere, "alpha male", red pill, male/female power dynamics bs podcasts(I was trying to understand how men think at one point in my life. And I was also trying to understand, in what ways, Black women have hurt Black men. As a Black woman, I am aware of the many ways Black men have and do hurt Black women, but I never heard their side of the story, hence why I started frequenting straight Black male dominated spaces and gawd, it's a terrible place. )

But for some reason I have yet to unplug from Facebook and I really need to because the bullshit I see on there frustrates me so much.

As toxic and nonsensical Tumblr can be sometimes, at least I don't have to deal with the toxic gender war mayhem while I'm on here. And I would much rather spend most of my social media time on here than on other platforms, I'm very unlikely to interact with the discourse that goes on, on here.

Only problem, I feel like a lonely island on here. I dont get that much interactions on here, whereas on Facebook and Twitter I receive a lot of interactions with different people so it makes me feel like I am apart of an online community.

But the toxicity is just raising my blood pressure. Example, a male influencer posted a post about Black fathers with Black daughters who disparage Black women online and how they would affect their daughters if they were to come across his posts. Tell me why there were Black men in the comment section saying that Black women are the bottom of the barrel, we are only good for fucking and dumping, we are rude and undesirable. Others were saying that his words(as a theoretical father to a Black daughter) as a father does not apply to his Black daughter so long as she does not grow up to become the type of Black women he hates.

In another post, I was told that a man's DNA from his semen exists forever inside of a woman's vagina(which isnt true) that her body contains the DNA of every man she has ever slept with and that their DNA will affect any baby she conceives(causing the baby to be born with the DNA of other men, which, again, is not true). The poster used this misconstrued unscientific babble as a reason why Black men should not date, respect, or marry any Black woman who was "ran thru". And according to a lot of Kevin Samuel, Jason Black, alpha male, manosphere, redpill bros, the vast majority of Black women, especially those from America, are "ran thru hoes".

And if a Black woman decides she is tired of this bullshit and becomes a feminist as a result then all of a sudden she is considered a hater of Black men. Someone who doesn't actually care about Black people or Black boys and is actively working against the welfare and needs of the Black community.

And god forbid this same Black woman decides to get into an interracial relationship.

I remember I was denigrated on facebook, and my boyfriend also broke up with me, all because I simped over Geralt of Rivia and called him zaddy(around the time I was unaware of the connotations surrounding that word, especially when a Black woman uses it to describe a non-Black man)

I'm just tired of the toxicity. I'm tired of the sexism. And according to alpha males and their enablers (such as Sharazad Ali) sexism does not exist in the Black community, Black women are just "hoes" and "Black male haters" who are afraid of accountability.

I just feel like I need to unplug from everything. I need to distance myself from people who spout this garbage(even if they're family members). I just wish I mastered the art of not giving a shit, especially about what people think. But it's easier said than done. Like most people I do care about what people think, it's literally hardwired into human DNA to care about what people think. In hunter gatherer society, if people didn't like you or thought badly of you, they left you to die. So it became imperative for your survival to become likeable or at least tolerable. And even tho we aren't hunter gatherers anymore we still very much think like them.

Sigh, I just need a vacation from the Black woman hating bullshit

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

This week will be slightly appreviated. I’m in California for a funeral.

It’s 4:50AM here and I really need the juice. ☕️

Inessential

The internet’s town square should never have been one specific website with its own specific rules and incentives. It should have been, and should be, the web itself.

The open web is still the best web and weblogs play a big role in making the web better. When I post to my blog it generates an RSS and JSON Feed so you can point your feed reader of chioce to it and get updated when my blog changes. It’s nice in that way because it’s completely decentralized.

Mastodon also works that way. It’s a collection of different servers participating as a collective. I can follow folks from many different servers around the world and it just works.

I see my weblog as the central hub of communication and use Mastodon and other social networks as a means of broadcasting posts to a wider audience.

To subscribe to my Mastodon account all you have to do is point your favorite feed reader to my Mastodon account with a .rss extension appended and you get an RSS feed! How awesome is that?

Here’s what it looks like: https://curmudgeon.cafe/@fahrni.rss

Jalopnik

Formula 1 drivers are truly athletes at the top of their game. As such, they all follow strict diets, have nutritionists on hand to monitor what they’re eating and make sure that they’re only consuming things that keep them in tip top shape over a race weekend. For Alfa Romeo driver Valtteri Bottas, this includes coffee. Lots of coffee.

I got into F1 a little bit while watch Drive to Survive on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it I’d recommed giving it a try. It’s fascinating.

While I’m in California I’ll probably visit Exeter Coffee Company and Dutch Brothers.

It’s nice to see others with an extreme coffee addiction. 😀

Robert Reich

What worries me most about Trump’s dinner last week at Mar-a-Lago with Nick Fuentes, the outspoken antisemite and racist who is one of America’s most prominent young white supremacists, and Kanye West, whose recent antisemitic outbursts have rocked the entertainment world, isn’t just that a former (and possibly future) president would dine with such avowed bigots.

The GOP is not even trying to hide their antisemitic and racist ways. It’s seriously pathetic and signaling to every other garbage human it’s ok to openly talk about and act on their hate.

Jesse Skinner

I signed up for Mastodon back in May 2019 and, at the time, I wrote on there: “I just heard about Mastodon a few days ago. I keep spelling it Mastadon. It’s a really cool platform and architecture, and I would love to see it completely replace Twitter one day. Do you think it could?”

I also spelled it Mastadon at first, whoops.

As far as replacing Twitter, I think it will for me as a place to collect, perhaps as a public square. 😀

MacRumors

Tapbots, the company behind the popular Tweetbot app designed for Twitter, is working on developing a new app called Ivory that integrates with the Mastodon social network.

I’ve been using Ivory for a while and it’s absolutely gorgeous and works the way you’d expect it to work.

Mastodon has turned into an iOS App playground and I’m loving it.

chaos.social

The past month has changed the Fediverse, and, by extension, our instance. We’ve continued as normal (apart from limiting sign-ups) to give ourselves time to figure out which changes were only temporary, what seems to be changed for good, and how to react. A month seems ample time, and here we are with a set of changes in how chaos.social will work in the future.

Folks thought Mastodon would be the wild west, without good and proper moderation, but many instances take things very seriously and are making changes as needed to make their instance a better place. The chaos.social instance is one such example.

Jason Kottke

Hey everyone. Tomorrow, after almost 7 months of a sabbatical break, I’m resuming regular publication of kottke.org. (Actually, I’ve been posting a bit here and there this week already — underpromise & over-deliver, etc.) I’m going to share more about what I’ve been up to (and what I’ve not been up to) in a massive forthcoming post, but for now, know that I’m happy to be back here in the saddle once again. (And that my fiddle leaf fig is doing well!)

Welcome back, Jason! Jason has been a mainstay of my web consumption for well over 10-years, most likely since 2001-2002 timeframe when I got into blogs and blogging.

WillowTree

Charlottesville, Va. – December 1, 2022 – Piedmont Virginia Community College (PVCC) will launch a new Associate of Applied Science Degree Program (AAS) in Technical Studies-Software Development, co-created with WillowTree, in the 2023 spring semester which starts January 9. The two-year degree program will provide high school graduates and those seeking to advance in or change careers with the digital and data skills needed to fill current and emerging jobs in software development.

I thought I’d humblebrag a bit. I was honored to be part of the group who helped define this new program at PVCC. The working group was full of wonderful WillowTree folks and I think we wound up with a great program.

Since I don’t have a degree of any type I’ve been thinking about signing up for this program.

Thank you PVCC!

Why does software need so many people and take so long compared to the recent past? Let's compare! 🧵 cc @realGeorgeHotz

— Peter Yared (@peteryared) November 26, 2022

Ahh, the life of the modern developer. 🤣