#jason is the brick shithouse

[lunallaa]

So potentially hot take....

Jason Todd doesn't need to or should be that much a pretty boy. Not saying he should be super ugly or something but I am a firm believer of the rough and really just average appearance Jason agenda.

I know we all love how Dexter Soy draws him but let Jason be just a lil ugly a lil beat up yknow?

This post is all in silly goofy fun pls don't get mad 🫣

[apatheticsunday]

Siblings Energy

AKA "the Batfam find out Jason is alive and lovingly bullies him back into the family" headcanon!!

I read this one post where it was like, Damian climbing through Jason's window while saying something actually batshit insane and Jason's just like??? mouthful of pasta, just sitting at his kitchen table, and I'm ridiculously amused by it. Because hell yeah!!

Give me actual sibling energy. Give me, "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine, because fuck you!! No, I'm not giving back your leather jacket, finders keepers. Yeah, it was in your bedroom but now it belongs to me."

I want recently-revived Jason Todd deliberately avoiding the Batfam because he's plotting his Grand Reveal (the Red Hood, Crime Lord and Ruthless Murderer is the formerly dead Robin?? How could it be?? He craves the utter disbelief, the shock, like any dramatic theatre kid). I'm just gonna... gently wrap up Under the Red Hood in a towel and put it in the freezer where it can't hurt us anymore. We're in Wayne Family Adventures Fandom-Land now, guys.

And Dick Grayson was born and raised to be an older brother, his dad humor and oldest daughter syndrome is God-tier, and he'd recognize his little brother anywhere. Even if he's built like a brick shithouse, has a scary deep voice, and is significantly more murder-y than his Robin years. That's his little brother!! That's his Little Wing, his Jaybird!! Dick sees what Jason's doing - the acting out, refusing to talk to his family, etc., and is just reminded of when him and Jason used to fight. Dick would be pissed, Jay would be pissed, but in the end, a greasy BatBurger and a comically bad action movie would have them pissing themselves in laughter.

So, that's what he does. Jason comes home from being a crime lord to find The Meg 2 paused on his TV, lukewarm BatBurgers (extra fries, his favorite), and Dick scrolling through TikTok on his couch. There's a new fuzzy Wonder-Woman themed blanket thrown over his armchair.

And yeah, Jason is pissed but Dick looks up and smiles - so excited, hopeful, exactly like the older brother he is that Jason just... sits down on the couch. Eats his stupidly good BatBurger (no pickles, how did Dick remember Jason hates pickles?), and snorts at the shitty CGI, excessive explosions, and comically too-serious acting. Dick accidentally inhales his BatSoda through his nose at one of Jason Statham's one-liners. There are no apologies because there doesn't need to be. Because there's an unspoken understanding between siblings, there doesn't even need to be an I missed you, I love you so much, please don't leave me. You just know.

But it doesn't stop there. Soon Jason has Tim, his goddamn replacement, collapsing on his new Wonder-Woman blanket and mumbling out a "Dick said you're back" almost sounding relieved before passing out on his couch. Which. What in the flying shit, Dick. But the kid's all bruised up, weary like the homeless kids from Crime Alley, and Jason heard about "JJ" during one of his and Dick's bi-weekly movie nights. So... maybe he lets the kid stay. Besides, it's not like letting his replacement take a nap on his couch will open Pandora's box, right?

....right?

Cue Jason suddenly having this blond purple-obsessed Batgirl variant harassing him for his abuela's hot chocolate recipe (sorry, Alfred), Babs bribing him to visit her at the library with a limited edition of Pride and Prejudice, a Black Bat silently accompanying him on patrols around Crime Alley, and Meta dressed in yellow enthusiastically greeting him whenever he's grocery shopping downtown. (Downtown Gotham is the only place you can get fresh produce, okay? And you beat the crowds if you go in the morning! He's not an old man, Dick - fuck off.)

So, when Damian busts through his window while Jason is eating homemade Alfredo, he's... not really surprised anymore. He doesn't think anything can surprise him after Steph body-slammed him in his own bathroom one morning, screeching, "You make fun of my boy Jason Statham again, I'll shove that toothbrush so far up your-..." Or that time he turned around after getting dressed and Cass was sitting on his bed with a comic book. He did not shriek.

And Damian's rambling angrily about Bruce, probably knowing his akhi will let him rant without interrupting or maybe he's so angry he doesn't care, so Jason just... keeps eating.

(Sometime in the future, he gains a reputation for being an Unbothered King, but it's really just the fact that his siblings are deranged and he's become acclimated to their random break-ins.)

[bigscotman]

DCXDP fic idea: through some wacky and probably at least mildly traumatic chain of events, Jason Todd aka the Gotham Crime Lord Red Hood ends up adopting Dani. Long story short she figures out he's also a Halfa but is infected with contaminated ecto.

They go to Frostbite to get him healed and after their first appointment Dani very reluctantly has to come clean about the rest of her family and that he's kinda sorta maybe ghost royalty now? Jason decides to table anymore about that until his emotions are at a normal level.

Once he's all healed up and now has powers and they pick up their conversation again and Dani gets to the part where Danny would really rather not be king Jason gets a devious idea that Dani is entirely on board for.

He shall play the role of an evil uncle trying to usurp the throne in public complete with all the staple evil laughs and mischievous hand gestures.

Can literally anyone tell it's an act because he isn't even attempting to hide how much fun he's having? Yes sure but everyone decides to just let Jason have his fun and bring a little joy to the young High King. Granted Danny isn't too happy that he's dating his sister (Dani is ecstatic tho) but besides that he's having a blast and everyone is happy.

Until Jason accidentally usurps the throne because they forgot to declare that their spar was a spar and the Zone decided that it was good enough to count as a serious enough fight.

And that's how Jazz and Dani find them just before dinner, Danny still doing flips in the air laughing his ass off while Jason stares off into the middle distance and occasionally glances at the Ring or Crown that have taken up residence on his finger and head respectively.

[basalting]

bruharvey with jason: Thinking about how tiny robin jason was, Harvey and Bruce must have been like giants to him.

(this got long so i added a cut. sorry im incapable of shutting up <3) jason was sooooooo small. preteen small and malnourished small and late bloomer small all at once.

totally encapsulated by bruce's cloak and harvey's jacket, small and safe and secure.

how enraptured they must of been with him? dick was small too but dick didnt want them the way jason does, didnt NEED them the way jason does.

dick needed people to believe in him, to let him be useful, to burn through that tar pit of rage and hurt zucco left in him. dick didnt want or need new parents (the fact that bruce ended up considering him a son anyway was irrelevant to dick) and it meant that bruce and harvey didnt have to be there emotionally as much

jason was different, jason demanded care. not attention, dick needed attention. was born to have eyes on him watching in awe. jason hated attention, hard-eyed adults and cold alleys had taught jason that attention was dangerous. but he wanted to be taken care of. he wanted bruce to remember when he had a test due and to ask him about it without being reminded. he wanted harvey to remember what show he was watching and that he likes hot chocolate but not peppermint.

for all that they would hide it. behind snarls and gruffness. behind a blank face and quiet grunts. harvey and bruce loved jason, he was theirs. they were his. and then he was gone.

what a blessing, to be loved so dearly by a child

what a curse, to have to mourn the loss of that love

[wildshadowtamer]

ok so. bane fans. we're babygirlifying him, right? like, yes your honor he did do all those things, but have you considered that hes babygirl. babygirls can have a little bat-snapping, as a treat.

[visionsofcarnality]

bro the fact that this post got 400 notes- you guys i’m feeling bashful 🫶✨😊 tysm

Make-A-Wish

Summary: You ask your boyfriend to fuck you as his vigilante persona. Oh… and the helmet stays on. 🫵❤️

Warnings: Rough sex, Jaybird is a meanie in this one, degradation, name calling, use of slùt and whöre. Crude language, crying, ass slapping, piv sex, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it this is tumblr where people don��t get pregnant or STDs), cræmpie, slight overstim, Jason’s baby bird helmet hair.

a/n: i saw this pop up in my feed and i have to say this idea hijacked all common sense in my brain. I hope i did you justice- @smutinlove

(mdni below the cut, I am dead serious)

“Is this what you fucking wanted?” Was growled in your ear through the voice modulator installed in the helmet that you could currently feel pressing against the side of your head while the man wearing it pounded into you from behind. “You wanted the Red Hood? You fucking got it, bitch…” His sentence trailed off into a groan when you clenched around him from the harsh words.

“Fuck… You like this shit?” His thrusts were punishing, driving your legs even farther apart than you’d already stretched them, back forced into an arch by one of his big, thick hands on your spine.

You had no response for him, mewling and babbling into the dark sheets that you tried to grip between your scrambling fingers, simultaneously trying to push back onto him and pull yourself off.

“Jay-“ You cried, and the word was cut off when he used his other gloved hand to grip your hair, pulling you up by the nape of your neck so your chest was flush against his back.

“I don’t know who you’re calling for, princess.” He teased cruelly into your ear while the hand that had previously taken residence on your back circled around your shaking thighs to the little spot between your legs that made you see stars. “Is that good? That feel good? Such a dirty fucking whore for me, yeah?” He panted through the helmet, hot metal replacing what would have been hot breath on your neck.

“You like fucking the Red Hood?” He jeered, a dark chuckle escaping the covered mouth behind you. “Yeah, you fucking love this shit. Get off on being treated like a slut?” You couldn’t even respond with the way he was fucking you, forcing the flesh between your thighs to part and your body to take more and more of his fat fucking cock. He wasn’t the longest you’d had, but he definitely was the thickest. No matter how he tried to prepare you you always felt him for days after he fucked you… Especially like this. Your poor cunt would no doubt be dripping, leaking, and bruised tomorrow morning.

The thought alone triggered your orgasm and you came with a high, keening cry. Pussy damn-near crushing his cock as he continued thrusting, working your exhausted body through the waves of ecstasy. The sound of skin on wet skin filled the room as your cunt gushed and creamed for him, creating a white ring around the base of his cock as evidence of his prowess. Through the helmet he looked down quickly to watch your spasming pussy continue to spread around his cock. Your pretty little lips sucking him in while your muscles tried to push him out.

“That’s it, baby, fucking soak it.” He encouraged, finally getting tired of the helmet and yanking it from his head with one gloved hand. Underneath he was damp with sweat and condensation from his ragged breathing as he fucked you. Still, he fucked you, wringing the last dregs of pleasure from your body and starting another race to the peak. “Thought i’d let you off that easy?” He spoke into your ear, finally feeling his lips instead of metal on your skin. He took your earlobe into his teeth, biting the flesh with a nip like a kitten.

“Not gonna stop until you’re fucking screaming.” And scream you did, especially when his teeth sank into the flesh of the top of your shoulder as he came. The hot, wet feeling of his orgasm inside you triggered the second orgasm and you stopped making sounds that could be described as human.

He rutted against you still, torturing you both with the pleasure until you were sure it was more pain than sensation. Still he ground his pelvis against yours, so you could feel his heavy balls against your pussy as he emptied himself for all he was worth, painting your insides with the evidence of your mutual depravity.

Finally, after what felt like years he let go of your hair, letting you collapse to the bed gently, his other arm lowering you gently so as to not hurt your nose.

When he was assured you were able to let your weight onto the mattress he finally pulled out, moaning under his breath at the cold air on his previously cozy cock that was now creamy and shiny with your mixed juices. With both hands he harshly gripped the globes of your ass and lifted gently, exposing your ruined and still-twitching hole to his hungry eyes. Especially when the first drop of milky white cum appeared at your entrance and slid down to your clit where it hung like a pearly stalactite before plummeting to the sheets. Jason loved to watch his cum pour out of your cunt after you’d been thoroughly fucked out on his cock, something about the sight made him almost ready to go again at that exact second.

Only your soft sounds of requested affection broke him from the trance and he abandoned his show to laze down beside you, grabbing a soft tissue from beside the bed and cleaning between your legs before more of him dripped onto the sheets.

“How you doing baby?” He crooned gently, so at odds with how he’d spoken to you during the act. He gently ran a hand over your head and waited for your words.

The laugh that came out of him was enough to shake the building when you held up a singular hand for a high five.

[kitkatscabinet]

SNUGGLE BUG

Summary: The boys try to get out of bed, their partner has other plans.

Pairing(s): Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, x reader

A/N: unedited

DICK GRAYSON

Dick's always been a physically affectionate person, far more so than the rest of his family. It's why he'd been so ecstatic when he'd found you, a partner that was just as, if not more affectionate than him.

On more than one occasion his siblings had been given front-row seats to the snuggle show when they broke into his apartment, served them right really.

What Dick hadn't accounted for, was just how difficult it was to peel himself from your arms in the morning. Torture would hurt less he's sure.

"Ten more minutes," you whined childishly, burrowing your face into Dick's bare shoulder, tightening your arms around his torso.

"We've already said that three times." Your partner laughed, wriggling out of your hold but with far less strength than you knew he was capable of.

Both of you were fully aware just how quickly he could extracate himself from your arms should the neccessity rise. Technically speaking he did have to go to work, but surely it couldn't hurt to be a little late?

Though a quick glance at the hello kitty alarm clock on the bedside table confirmed he was already late.

"Dickie, can't you just call in? I wanna cuddle."

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

It wasn't like he really needed the money anyway.

His boss's ire is worth it to feel the way you smile into the skin of his neck, your warm breaths and little laughs as you lay tangled together.

So worth it.

JASON TODD

"You planning on letting me go anytime soon?" Jason grunted, though you know him well enough to hear the smile he's attempting to hide.

"Never," you mumble into the skin between his broad shoulder blades, the mattress slouching beneath the combined weight of you and your boyfriend.

Jason, undeterred by your attempts to drag him down, stands with a grunt. A cracking noise you know to be his knees rings out, and though you feel a little bad, you're unwilling to back down in your quest to get him back into bed.

Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend is built like a brick shithouse and is just as stubborn as you. Slowly, he manouevers around your small apartment all the while you hang off his back like a drunken Koala.

"Babyyyy," you whine petulantly into his ear, arms tightening around his neck in an attempt to only slightly choke him into submission.

Sighing, Jason starts to wander back into the bedroom. Just when you think you've won, he spins around, falling backwards onto the mattress and crushing you beneath his bulk.

In the minutes you spend winded, recovering, from being squished like an ant, Jason makes his escape. When you finally manage to come back to yourself you notice something incredibly distressing.

"Clothes! Why are you wearing clothes!" you wailed, sliding off the mattress and onto the floor in a pathetic slump.

Despite himself, Jason smiles at the sight, bundling you up in his arms before hopping back into bed with you. "Ok, you big dramatic baby."

Hey may have sounded put out, but the both of you knew he wanted to cuddle just as much. Besides, nothing was as important to him as you.

TIM DRAKE

He’d tried to be quiet. Truly, with years of training in the art of stealth Tim had intended to simply slip out of the bed and leave you to the sleep you needed.

He’d almost made it, both feet on the floor and the mattress no longer bearing most of his weight when all of a sudden a hand darted out, grasping his wrist.

Tim froze, slowly turning to look down at you with wide, guilty eyes. You're glaring up at him, sleep-addled face far more adorable than threatening, not that he'd ever tell you that, for fear of getting his ass beat.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" your voice is hoarse and gravelly from sleep but the threat is evident.

Mouth suddenly dry, Tim awkwardly chuckles, "Oh, babe, you're awake."

"Thanks to you," you grumbled sleepily, guilt and fear in equal measurements settling heavily in his chest.

"M'sorry, tried not to wake you but I gotta get to work on this case."

"No." You grunted, wrapping your arms around Tim's waist with freakish speed, nuzzling your face into his side.

He can't help the way his heart skips several beats at your casual affection. Tim's always been starved for touch, for the soft loving touch that you've always provided as if its as natural as breathing.

He should be used to it but despite the years worth of love and affection you've poured into Tim in the time you've spent together he still hasn't acclimated.

Tim knows, that you know, just how weak to your touch he is. It still doesn't prevent his resolve from crumbling when you refuse to let him budge, tugging him back down into your warm embrace.

"Good boy," you murmur against the skin of his neck, wrapping around his back like an octopus and trapping him against the expanse of your chest.

His skin runs hot at your words, mind numb to anything that's not your touch as he's eventually lulled back to sleep to the soothing sounds of your breathing.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

(This is all a joke)

I love the Dick is pushing thirty and all the Batkids tease him about it and he’s dramatic. But what’s infinitely funnier is in the Robin story (the one illustrated by piccolo) Dick looks young enough to go undercover as a student in highschool.

Which means that Dick with a little bit of effort can pass for 17-19

Which means Jason ‘drawn like a 40 year old whose doing 20 to life in prison built like a brick shithouse’ Todd

Definitely looks older at 23 than Dick does at 27

And so the boys get their licks in and Dick does his howls moving castle let me lie on a bed dramatically like an 18th century women fainting

Calls Kori like ‘babe be honest am I too old for you, do I need Botox? HAVE YOU SEEN A GRAY HAIR PLEASE’ on speaker in front of the Batkids because honestly it’s a funny joke.

And then they go to a bar

And Dick gets ID checked

At 27

He’s been a hero for 19 years

He just got fucking ID checked at the bar

And then when they get into the bar

Jason gets called sir

And he gets called Dude

Because he looks barley legal apparently

And that’s even fucking worse

How is it everyone can laugh at him for being old and HE DOESNT EVEN GET OLD MAN PERKS.

HE HAS OLD MAN BONES, THEY SOUND LIKE HE NEEDS WD-40 (what do you mean that because of the 23 years of intense acrobatics and the 19 years of punching People, and carpel tunnel inducing precision shut up)

And Jason finds it even funnier until dick desperately asks how old the barkeep thinks he is and the dude goes like “idk 21? Barely”

And Jay laughs until the dude went “yeah I mean you look like a kid whose uncle is taking him here for his first drink”

And Jason cuts the laugh mid HA and goes “excuse me?”

Anyway now Dick if finding it funny again

It stops being funny all together when he’s the only one to get ID’d on Tims 21st birthday

Because Tim is 4’0 (it’s only a 3 INCH HEIGHT DIFFERENCE dICK)

And has baby fat on his cheeks at 21 and he can still pitch his voice into an androgynous or fem voice.

(Tim paid the bar keep to do this, he’s stirring shit)

[nonryenary]

“Jason’s a big boy he can take care of himself”

He’s 19.

vs

[strangedaymare]

The Wayne/Phantom Double Date

Dick and Jason decided to plan a double date (it was mainly Dick but Jason was to tired to disagree) what they didn't know, was that their boyfriends already knew each other... Or that Dick's boyfriend was Jason's boyfriend from a fucked up timeline who was currently on, what was essentially, community service.

When Danny and Dan found out though? They did not miss the chance to be the chaotic little gremlins that they are.

Jason and Danny walk into the diner and walk into the booth where Dick and Dan are sitting in

Dick: there you are. Dan, this is Jason and his boyfriend, Danny

Dan, acting angry: yeah, Danny and I have met...

Danny, going along with it: Dan, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm sorry

Dan: Sorry doesn't erase the years of trauma and abandonment that you put me and dad through

Danny: Son, I'm sorry, but your father was a psychopath

Dick and Jason are just sitting there, confused because how the fuck is this twink that looks barely 27 is the father of this 37 year old that's built like a brick shithouse.

Dick: I... Did you know about this?

Jason: Nope!

Dan: he didn't tell you? Typical.

Danny: Son-

Dan, getting really into it, so into it that it's suspicious now: No! You lost the right to call me that when you left!

Dick, realising what's going on: oh my god, they're fucking with us

Danny: Damn it! We had at least another 10 minutes if you didn't get dramatic!

Jason: wait, wait, wait, you're not his dad?

Dan: I mean... In a way, he is, although, we prefer "brothers" we are still debating who's the older one though

Dick: what?

Danny: Dan is me from another timeline where my ghost combined with my godfather/uncle/arch-nemesis' ghost

Jason: that Vlad guy you told me about? He is a psychopath

Dick: that explains the murderous intent

Dan: that's right, Rich

Dick: Dick

Dan: you'll be getting mine later

Danny bursts out laughing

Jason: I see the resemblance now

Dan: hey, be glad Ellie's not here, she would have pulled the "are you my new daddy" card

After this, the double date went well, they all got along, Jason found out he could pull the "I fucked your dad" card on Dan. Danny, unfortunately, figured out that Dan has the same taste in people as Vlad (athletic hot people with a nice ass and a sense of humour), Dick made the joke that Dan is a Crystal gem.

And for entirely shits and giggles, here's how Dan and Danny found out

Danny: Dan, can't do chores on Friday night, I got a date

Dan: well fuck you, because I've got a date too

Danny: well, I'm meeting my boyfriends brother so

Dan: me to...

Danny:... Who's your boyfriend again?

Dan: the oldest Wayne son...

Danny: mine is the second oldest... Wanna fuck with them?

Dan: Absolutely

https://www.tumblr.com/strangedaymare/786750197280686080/the-waynephantom-triple-date?source=share Part 2/The Triple Date

[gilverrwrites]

Your neighbour; Jason, he's built like a brick shithouse and has a resting scowl that could put Death on edge. That is until you get him talking. Then he smiles, and even with all that grit and grime he's a sight for sore eyes.

He's a mechanic, he fixes up your old clunker every few weeks for dirt cheap, if not for free. When you push him on it, feeling bad for letting him put in all those extra unpaid hours for you he says it's just cause Gothamites gotta stick together, especially people from your mutual neck of the woods. Besides, if you didn't bring him guilt muffins every time you brought your banger in, then he'd never eat breakfast.

But really it's cause he'd have to be a totally new breed of ass if he charged you for having your car sabotaged. Every time you leave him alone he throws an extra bolts in your engine or tweaks your wires. Never anything that could cause real damage, or put you in danger. He's not trying to kill you, he just thinks you're the single most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on and has no idea how to say that to you without the very real possibility of throwing up.

It’s the same reason you just so happen to always do laundry on the same night every week, and why he so often appears to bump into you during your weekly grocery shop. You should really change up your routine.

Thinking about his actions later; they definitely seems worse than they do in the moment. He just likes to spend time with you and hasn't figured out the right way to go about it yet. It’s not like he can just knock on your door out of the blue. That would be weird, right?

So, every few weeks you bring your car to the shop, and Jason tries not to ogle you the whole time he's pretending to check on your suspension, or whatever else. Often, you bring it by after work, and he tells you he won't have time to look at it before closing so that he can drive you back to your apartment complex in near silence but for you complimenting his CD collection and him asking how the rest of your day was. Then he walks you to your door and with pink cheeks and darting eyes he asks if you have any plans for the weekend. Whatever your answer he always replies the same; “Cool. So… Well, goodnight.”

And then he rushes to his own apartment where he’ll eventually fall asleep remembering the enthralling sound of your laughter at one of his jokes earlier, your jeans and the way they hugged your thighs just right, your eyes glinting under the florescent light of his shop sign. How your skin would feel under his hard, oil-stained fingers. Whether he’d have the nerve to finally ask you out when he drops your keys off for the 100th time tomorrow.

[follow up kinda]

Likes are highly appreciated, but comments and reblogs are cherished!

More Like This | Tip/Commission Me

[weepingwillows-sweethibiscustea]

I’m currently thinking about an AU where the Justice League confuse Danny for Jason.

Like, they know Batman’s second Robin met an unfortunate end, & now his newest partner is the ghost of an upbeat, scrawny, teenage boy.

Excuse them, for thinking the ghost being Batman’s dead son was more believable then Batman somehow having picked up not just another stray, but a dead one. How did he even do that?

Bonus points if Jason is very much so resurrected already, but none of the bats told the justice league because apparently Gotham’s newest crime lord, who’s 6’ whatever & built like a brick shithouse, isn’t obviously the same malnourished little kid that used to say “Robin gives me magic!” & literally died. Who knew?

[quenga-do-nordeste]

(♥´∀｀)／

happy friday everypony

[bruciemilf]

Reverse de-aging AU where Damian goes from teeny tiny 8 year old assassination machine to 6’4 grown ass man.

He can throw Jason around like a rock and everyone’s sweating piss. Even better if he retains everything and he’s still regular Damian mentally.

Bruce has a Jason 2.0 except GRUMPIER. He’s not sure how he can explain pushing a giant brick shithouse on swings and carrying him around to the media.

“Damian, please let’s stay inside until we figure how to turn you back.”

“I’m legally not required to respect your parental guidelines and orders anymore, so, I’ll do what I want! And I want to drink alcoholic beverages!”

He tries one sip of Jason’s beer and chokes so hard he cries.

Jon is VERY concerned about this random man picking him up from school and demanding they have a playdate. He blasts him into a building, naturally.

[custardtartsfan]

Jason Todd head canons that have accumulated over time

many thoughts about the boy constantly rattle around my brain and i would like to share them ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) nothing hanky panky ish for i do not like to think about that

general bullshit ᝰ.ᐟ

he doesnt trust modern technology. he has a Motorola razr. no he will not upgrade, stop asking

has VERY messy hand writing. straight chicken scratch. barley legible

smoked during his late teens (post resurrection period, he was going through it). tried quitting in his early twenties, he bought a menthol flavour geek bar but threw it out cause Roy made fun of him

it wasnt even one of the cool ones with a screen. smh

he has a weird nostalgic affection for the thrift

it reminds him of being a kid, in the rare moments that his mother was sober enough to take him somewhere. and it was nice, his mom was conscious, all was well

and he could get whatever he wanted! he wanted a toy? sure bud, its only a dollar. why the hell not?

he recently walked into a Goodwill and damn near burst an artery when he looked at the tag on a pair of pants. it was NOT like this back in his day

his hair is like wavy, like not curly but wavy. however, he has no idea how to really care for it. shits dry is what im saying

i think hes very competitive about stupid shit

not like he gets pissy about mario kart, he will race you to see who can fold their socks the fastest

largest of the batfam. vertically and horizontally. hes a beefy dude. a brick shithouse

i think hes also the kind of dude that needs to know someone very well before he could consider dating them. id even go as far to say hes somewhere on the aro spectrum

i think he has a very high spice tolerance. like youll pry his siracha out of his cold re-dead hands. he LOVES African curry (yes this one is based off me) thats like his perfect kind of spice

back to his hatred of technology, he collects cds to listen to instead of streaming

he has one of those hip disk players with the headphones. Red Hood has been seen with a walkman

also hates tv, but will watch the news willingly. he will sit down and watch Wolf Blitzer of his own accord

romantic (୨୧• ꒳ •)=:♡

remember when i said he has the handwriting of an 18 month old toddler? yea well thats a little unfortunate cause he LOVES leaving notes for his lover. when he has to slip out the window for a job in the middle of the night, he writes a little note - “had to take care of something, be back soon. with bagels. love, Jay :)” but its written so janky his lover is spending the whole time hes gone trying to decipher it

dont tell him that though, he might cry

hes not a talker particularly. words tend to come out wrong in his experience. instead, he likes gifts acts of service to show you he cares

shopping with him and youre eying a particular top for a while? guess what’s mysteriously appeared in your laundry basket

lowq doesn’t have motion though..soo it might have been Bruce card. but honestly? money is money who gaf

what he occasionally lacks in funds he makes up for in willingness to let you do whatever you want to him

he will waddle after you in sephora, freaking out the occasional employee cause holy FUCK who invited the punisher, letting you swatch whatever you want on his hand

if you’re concerned about the milk in the fridge being yuck, give it to him to taste. he’ll let you know

there is no mountain to high, no dubious forgotten leftover too unhappy looking

cannot cook for SHIT. but he loves to eat

he will mention wanting food and stare at you longingly until you go to the kitchen

hes not gonna be playing fortnite while you’re cooking though, he can chop stuff. you may not want him within 50 feet of a place where food is prepared but he will offer

bless his heart

runs hot like a furnace. probably because hes a large meaty boy

he will grumble like a pensioner when you tuck yourself into his chest at night when its cold, but we both know damn well hes gonna be giggling and kicking his steel toed boots when he tells Roy about it later

he had pretty mixed, strewing negative opinions, about his little white tuft of hair at the front. hes tried cutting it, it grew back the same. he bought box dye, it doesnt take. so hes stuck with it. and he cant say hes happy about it

until you came along, all full of love and life, telling him you loved it. you though it framed his face perfectly and suited him great. you and your fancy affection fuck you

(he was cheesing for hours)

okay lets get sad now

hes got BADD anxiety about hurting you without meaning to. its a reasonable concern, hes a big dude. and these hands dont do a lot of cradling as a rule, more beating heads in

he needs to be reassured, but would rather roll around in broken glass then swim in lemonade than let that be known. hes more of a stare at you until you sooth him

he likes to be kissed and cuddled and cared for. so what? hes only incredibly ashamed. it doesnt matter how many times you re iterate that he has no reason to be, hes a stubborn bitch

thats all ive got! i hope you enjoyed reading my real time jason todd related word association. most of these were typed in a fury on the mobile web app on the subway so..if the formatting is yucky thats up to god (-.-;)y-~~~

[bigscotman]

Fic idea: You know that time Bane killed Alfred? It spreads around Gotham the Bane killed Bruce Wayne's kindly old butler in front of Batman to get to him, Gothamites as usual assume anything other than Bruce being Batman (Alfred was The Batman's actual father and raised him and Bruce together obviously), and the batfam collectively loses their shit and are all about as brutal as Bruce was when Jason died. Jason on the other hand is as clinical as usual as Red Hood which everyone finds odd since he was arguably the closest to the old butler even if you include Bruce.

Then one day shortly after Alfred's funeral as the batfam sans Jason are depressedly flicking through TV channels they flick onto the news and what do they see?

Jason is in his "Prince of Gotham" suit sans mask and domino at what looks like a press conference outside of the WE building and after answering a few cursory questions about what he's doing and how everyone is coping with Alfred's murder then Jason stares directly into the camera and challenges Bane to a fight, no weapons, just straight hands and to the death. He then says to meet him at Gotham stadium and says to be there at noon a week from then.

Everyone in Gotham, especially the Batfam, is quite honestly terrified for him and about this because sure he's built like a brick shithouse now and it's an open secret that he's the Red Hood but this is *Bane* and he has just gotten on live TV and challenged him to basically a boxing match to the death. Throughout the entire time leading up to it everyone is trying to dissuade him in various ways but he remains firm.

Then the date comes and the stadium is absolutely packed and being watched by a few tens of millions live on TV (how is Jason allowed to broadcast what most people think will be his swift bloody execution at midday? He doesn't know, ask Tim.) and then we see Jason and Bane in opposite corners of the ring. Bane is in his usual attire and still being supplied with Venom as usual and Jason is in wonder woman sweats with some unholy combination of combat boots and slippers and no shirt, baring all his scars to the crowd.

Then the bell sounds and Jason starts grinning maniacally before rushing Bane and slowly shattering as many of Bane's bones as possible as he doesn't even flinch at Bane's punches. Then it's over. Jason is straddled over Bane's corpse after having bashed his head into a greeny-red paste that is currently coating him. The arena is silent for what feels like hours but is probably only a minute max before erupting into a cacophony of cheering and chanting and screaming. Jason manages to push himself up and wander over to Bruce before prompting falling into him and passing out in his arms with a murmured "I'm sorry and you're welcome."

Also yes this is part of my agenda of making the Lazarus Pits more than just The Fountain of Youth but Angy™