#jaskier incorrect quotes

[yourloverfromthepast]

Jaskier: Truth or dare?

Y/n: Truth.

Jaskier: Do you like Geralt?

Y/n: Ok, dare.

Jaskier: I dare you to tell me whether you like Geralt or not.

Y/n: Well-

Jaskier: And no. Not a random Geralt. The one.

The white wolf.

Geralt of Rivia.

The shirtless and covered in blood man who just entered.

Y/n: HE'S HERE?! WHERE? *turns around to see no one* FUCK, NO-

Jaskier, slapping his hand on the table: HAH, I WAS RIGHT!

Y/n: NO, YOU MOTHERFU-

[it-happened-once-in-a-meme]

Incorrect Modern The Witcher Quote

Jaskier to Ciri: Surely you can't be serious.

Ciri: I am serious, and don't call me-wait a minute!

Jaskier, who's also seen Airplane!: Yes...?

Ciri: I'm Ciri. *With extra stress* Surely.

[it-happened-once-in-a-meme]

Jaskier: "No, listen to me! I will compose Bella's Lullaby, in fact, I will compose as many songs as you'd like — well, not more than like five, after all I'm a heavily sought-after musician — anyways, Geralt needs me."

[patroclusdefencesquad]

can you believe it's actually canon now

[headcanonthings]

Jaskier: My fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Geralt speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants to fuck me.

[fanby-fckry]

Ciri: *sneaks into Kaer Morhen at 2 am*

Geralt: *turns around in swivel chair* Care to tell me where you were?

Ciri: I was... with Yennefer?

Yennefer: *also turns around in a swivel chair* Try again.

Ciri: Jaskier! I meant I was with Jaskier.

Jaskier: *also turns around in a swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning*

Jaskier: Geralt, help. I can’t stop the chair.

[hannibard]

I'm genuinely surprised this quote hasn't become a meme yet

[anya-chalotra]

(insp)

[super-marvel-dc]

Y/N: ARE YOU-

Geralt: Fucking.

Y/N: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Geralt: Fucking.

Y/N: IDIOT!

Jaskier: …What was that?

Geralt: I banned Y/N from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

[humblebardd]

Jaskier: you know why I called you in here, right?

Geralt: yeah, because I accidentally sent you a dick pic—

Jaskier: *stops pouring two glasses of wine* accidentally??

[incorrectships-and-fandoms]

Jaskier: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Geralt: And you came to me?

[wraithofmorhogg]

Incorrect Witcher Quotes

Yen: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Geralt: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital Yen: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you. Geralt: but I heard a siren. Yen: That was Jaskier screaming.

[gwentbleidd]

geralt: *sneaks into house at 3am*

yennefer, turning in swivel chair: care to tell me where you were?

geralt: i was with...jaskier

jaskier, also turning in swivel chair: care to *keeps spinning* yen- help i can't stop the chair-

[hudine]

Jaskier kisses Geralt then flirts with someone before a preformence.

Random confused person: He just finished kissing you, now he’s flirting with me?

Geralt: That’s just Jaskier for you. I’d throw him in horny jail but he lives there, he’s got the key, and knows all the secret escape routes.

[patroclusdefencesquad]

they're both wanted for numerous war crimes

[headcanonthings]

Jaskier: Geralt? Geralt: What? Jaskier: Are you awake? Geralt: Who the fuck do you think said 'what'?