#jan2018

[mvist]

LF Dolan JAN2018 from Morten Kvist, Beeplayful on Vimeo.

[dannyphantomheritageposts]

Danny Phantom Heritage Posts

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[trossy20]

1/24/2019 Millbrae, CA

So I’ve made it! Here we are in CA. West coast is truly the best coast (and yes my boo CO, that includes you too). Currently I’m in the backyard of the house (Airbnb hostel-like place) under their mini gazebo/patio thing. It was cold last night, so the chairs are all dewy, encouraging me to take a sit on the pavement. It’s not particularly warm, but the sun is out and doing it’s thing just right. It’s 0940ish; I woke up around 0900, having gone to bed close to 0100 watching Californication and Big Mouth which, no Matt, it’s not funnier while you’re stoned. I did a double last night at Marvelous Performance, but that would’ve been more impressive at Terra Nova because at this gym, I’m currently partaking in the Fundamentals level. It felt great yesterday though to have done their crossfit-level workout afterward. I’m excited for tonight, which will be another double: fundamentals strength first, HIIT class after. I’m especially excited though, for this thing they’re advertising (and I can’t seem to find any other info on it than what Matt ((one of the coaches)) told me) called something like 6-weeks to Best Self. I met a dude last night who was cool enough to just walk up to me randomly and introduce himself. I liked his energy and he was a similar height, but built! He’s been a member for a year and said he started with the 6 week thing too-- said it’s worth it especially for the nutritional/educational piece. :3 so i gotta get on registering. Imma ask more tonight. There’s an orange and lemon tree back here, with fruit but a bit too early to pick. According to the other residents, there’s also a cherry and apple tree. Our neighbors have persimmons (my like new fav fruit) and figs! Amazing. This place is a little house, longer in length than width, with about 6 bedrooms. Each bedroom has bunkbeds and from what I understand, there’s a single private room? It works though! Yknow, if you’re not OCD about things/not super bugged by messy people… A team comes to clean supposedly twice a week, but the residents report it’s been more so once a week, which isn’t cool because we’re past half capacity. Still, it works. 3 or 4 fridges in total, a kitchen, living room, tiny dining room, a basement with another tv and computers which I can’t figure out if they belong to anyone in particular or not. 3 guitars or more (mine included). A piano. Plenty of bikes (supposedly one is communal, but every one that brought their own bike is willing to share. A poor excuse for a workout bench but it can work. Communal/free laundry soap (feels weird to smell different). And a solid group of misfits. The coffee here is free (As even indicated by a little sign someone made) and there’s nearly always a fresh pot on. I shared a lot of my mush yesterday which is fine because I’m getting help paying for it anyway ty Katherine, and people are getting hooked but now it’s not even gonna last 24H x). Gotta make more today… So being here: It’s been a little disorienting to find my feelings. Today’s the first day that I’m taking a bit of time to create the space. My last day off was a bit of that, but I was so excited and distracted by my mini adventure to Sprouts that I didn’t make a lot of headway for what’s going on up there. I was starting to wonder if there’s much going on at all, just because everything is new and engaging and something’s always happening (even if it’s just netflix or someone playing video games). It’s all too easy to just let the days roll by. I checked in** on Jan 6th, was it? (**got to millbrae a day earlier and Ren gave me crap later for having us sleep in the car and not Elo/Peter’s place hehe). I wonder too, if it was too quick of a transition. I’m slowly allowing the format of my exploration to change. CO was all about meeting people via apps, but here I’ve already fallen into a group and met people way more easily in person ie Marvelous Performace, a friend of a friend, or even work/fellow travelers. As the experience pans out, I’m at least aware that allowing this format to be different is growth in itself. It makes me wonder how the next place might feel. I’ve also started to wonder about extending here… but that remains to be seen. (Been toying with the idea of WA next). There’s a crow that’s been vocal this morning, little finches chirping at a quicker pace, and another bird I don’t recognize all seemingly celebrating the quiet, warm morning. I’ve notifed just now my nose is a tiny bit stuffy, but I can still smell the sweet baked/fried goodies from whatever  bakery nearby. It carries in the wind to pretty impressive distances, but I think we’re close by. My laundry is going so I’m feeling extra productive/not worried about how I should be adventuring right now instead because I need to stick around to move it over/start the next load, and that made me wonder something new: I don’t feel … inquieto. I think that translates to anxious/restless. I always think it’s appropriate to say “be still, my heart,” if one is feeling inquieto, so I guess the translation fits. Still, i think those english words are a bit deceiving. Inquieto in ronnie world is yes, both of those, but fueled by a FOMA type of energy. I’m very aware of my emotional habit of needing to feel productive/busy all the time or else I’ll begin to feel depressed (something to examine later, though I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy of a thing. Bagh, but who knows what I’m hiding now), but (rounding back to the Something New) I think that energy is more at peace here, and that’s what’s mainly throwing me off. “Ronnie, what do you want..?” Uhh… Idk! We can always walk to Trader Joe’s or hop on the bus or train somewhere or read.. “Shouldn’t we be out meeting people? Meetups? Destinations? Missions?” Hm. I mean I guess but I rather just ride the bus or train :3 So maybe my social quota is filled already with these rascals. I expressed to Tracy that I was a little worried I’m not worried about it (am I asexual?), when she asked if there were any new love interests. She assured me that that’s totally normal-- we go through phases of course. She went through a 2 year stretch of not even giving that thought because life was just busy. She was doing her, and that was okay. That resonates with me. I guess I have this perception that around my age, everyone should be out socializing/meeting people/flirting/hooking up/getting trashed… but cmon ronnie, was that ever really you? I do find that fun occasionally, but it’s like I’m super happy to be settling more into my grandpa-like tendencies. I think the 8hr shifts have a lot to do with it too: the life I have within these contracts is probably hugely dictated by the shift I signed up for. These 8hr-ers encourage my grandpa trends, encourage a routine, encourage my days off to be restful and adventurous in MY way. In comparison, CO was 12hr-ers, nights, but took up about 4 days a week of my life. The rest of the days? I guess just chillin with Ren XD but it’s still different. Not in a bad way! Maybe I should look into more introspective prompts. Mainly I just try to gauge the degree of my inner FOMA, or trans-dom x) “*knocks on the mental door* Hey, Ronnie? You okay? You wanna do anything in particular?” -I’m good! “*narrow-eyed look* don’t be so quick to respond now, member?” -I know, but really! We could maybe paddleboard-- it’s supposed to be 60 deg today but if we don’t totally cool because that’s a lot of work opening the basement garage and all. Member, we gotta make more food at some point. *shrugs* meetup for ideas? But yeah, no FOMA :3 “Okay.. how you feeling bout dysphoria?” -Decent. I know we’ll have our class tonight. Should probs take a progress photo and that whole 6 week thing.. :) “Worm, cool. I’m thirsty.” It’s restaurant week! Maybe I’ll text that dude and his fiance to join us :3 1040 now, gonna check my laundry, skim meetups, and look into another pair of shoes because I destroyed the active ones……..

[cinemashena]

Portrait of a Prince (Milu Khan Parhami)! شازده ميلو خان پرهامى #cat #catsofinstagram #portraitphotography #milukhan #winter #jan2018 (at Plateau Mont-Royal) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsi0hgAgR56Kizp-5EU-_aZYizwU6ZLdkQnvMw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1d3xc66w1jofr

[yourlocaltoad]

“Don’t Worry”

[speedy-the-tiel]

He won’t even eat a single veggie I offer him, but he’ll stop at nothing to steal my fries.

[sciart-appropriations]

[uj-j]

Pusae

[someonehugsugden]

Alex receives advice

It's from me

I tell him to go away

[bbqnoir]

Marinade

[sheerioswifties]

WELL NOW I'M CONFLICTED

*desperately searches for multiple devices and/or CD players*

*queues up all 3 at once*

[residualphotos]

kyoto

[tippitychange]

Mexico City CD MX

[mylky]

Rejuvenation

It’s the new years! I’m a little late to the party ... seventeen days late, actually. I’ve been on a workout grind at the moment and it’s been three months of exercising and eating well (with the occasional not-so-healthy food). I’m still on winter break, so I’ve been resting up before having to go back to reality (university). However, there comes a time where working out starts to seem pointless and moment of encouragement is needed ... from yourself. I often forget why I should keep up with it. Regardless, I still manage to push myself through it and feel great after, which is what I need to remind myself of - the feeling I get when I exercise. I am proud, and happy (not to mention out of breath). The great thing with being on break is being home alone and getting to try out new recipes which has really been helpful in terms of sticking with my fitness journey (if you would call it that). I’ve made my own hummus, cooked quinoa for the first time, made cashew dressing, tried baked chickpeas for a snack, and tonight I’m making oil free vegan blueberry muffins (I’m so excited). That reminds me ... I should probably go start on that!

[hellololla]

90 miles down the road of a dead end dream

semana estranha. fez sol e nevou. sonhei com meu pai duas vezes na mesma noite. o vento derubou galhos do carvalho e no meio do inverno cerejeiras aleatórias se cobrem de flores. eu que mal sinto frio quase desmaiei de hipotermia na rua. o cartão de memória da câmera pifou e perdi todas as fotos (de trabalho) feitas naquele dia. dolores o'riordan morreu num hotel em londres; não revelaram a causa. achei uma carteira na rua com fotos de crianças, o cartão de uma vidraçaria, 3.75 em dinheiro e nenhuma forma de identificação a fim de devolvê-la. plantei bulbos e instalei uma mini despensa na lavanderia. comecei a cortar um quilt e capas de almofadas (delas eu desisti, mas o quilt ainda é uma promessa). podei rosas e pus heras em potes. passei a madrugada de sexta feira num pronto socorro, a de sábado bebendo riesling e não sei dizer o que foi pior.

numa loja de antiguidades em dalston tomei um americano "orgânico" (fraquíssimo, praticamente chá sabor café) e admirei grafites. fui a hornchurch garimpar brechós atrás de tecidos e louças vintage, notei que dois deles fecharam e os restantes viraram um amontoado de roupas fedendo a mijo, canecas cafonas e barbies peladas com o pé mordido; voltei pra casa sem gastar um centavo. deixei casaco e sapato escolhidos e à mão para o caso de ter que voltar para o hospital, porque me senti meio ridícula de calça de pijama e chinelo na sala de espera. almocei dentro de uma nuvem baixa no trigésimo oitavo andar em um restaurante caro cujo principal atrativo é a vista - well, not happening today, eusébio. como consolo eu comprei dorayakis de sobremesa no wasabi e fiz lasanha no almoço no dia seguinte - um domingo onde a neve durou o suficiente para - muito de leve - acumular na grama e na folha das plantas (inclusive minha árvore de natal, que agora se encontra plantada no jardim).

me perguntaram se eu tinha algum guilty pleasure na internet, alguma dessas celebridades car crash cujo talento é passar vergonha pública, virar meme, basicamente serem ridicularizadas e confundir isso com admiração. pensei um tempo e constatei que fora assistir alguns episódios da trisha paytas comendo junk food, usar reaction gifs da tulla luana e não entender a inês brasil eu acho que a resposta é não, e eu não quero.

tem esse site cujos arquivos eu li de cabo a rabo essa semana e é tão legal porque a autora é sempre tão grata por absolutamente todas as coisas. do cheiro da comida que o marido prepara a um pôr do sol de inverno, do sorriso da filha a uma almofada de crochê terminada. vagalumes com luz própria no meio desse carnaval de attention whores cobertos de glitter, fazem você agradecer pelo trivial, pelo conforto e pelo auto conhecimento da rotina e querer ser melhor sem despertar sentimentos de inveja ou de superioridade. é o caminho menos perceptível, a estradinha de terra batida escondida atrás do matagal e das placas luminosas indicando outras direções, so keep your eyes open.

[azuuuurin]

070118