#james dean feelings

[romangoldendreams]

my only truth,that´s what nobody can see.

It's not a diary, it's…I don't know what to call it. In my profession, any note is nothing more than that, a reminder that you have to do something.

All those idiots out there who think they know my misery have no idea.

Yes, I will never walk with one arm tied behind my back. But they don't understand anything at all. They think they know me, and they take thousands of photos of me a day, but the more images of me they have, the more they lose their sense of reality.

Because reality wouldn't sell, because the bitter truth is that whoever they call my true love is not.

Because love is no more real than we would like to believe.

They just wonder if I sleep with men, or with women, that's the only thing they think about. At least they don't hide it…I hear them, and I don't answer them. why do it?

It doesn't make sense, because whatever I say will be what they believe.

They ask me about her , Pier… they call her the love of my life, I'm bitter without her.

According to them, my last name is not Dean but Montesco, and she is Anna Maria Pierangeli, but Pierangeli Capulet.

She only gives them the head for that… and nothing will change this fact, even if I die tomorrow.

Isa tells me to shut up, to let it happen. But damn! Even when?

I am nothing they say, I am just myself living my life.

I'm so drowning in pain because Pier abandoned me that I can't even breathe, I have Marlon Brando waiting for me in my bed every night, I watch the Vampyra show, that crazy girl whose name I don't even remember or when I met her… I even that I met Miss. Monroe, the most beautiful woman in America…they make up so many things that I don't even have time to laugh or cry.

When they send me those shitty magazines I just burn them.

Yes, with my cigarette, by myself, in my underwear.

I'm sorry, Marlon. Tonight it happened, you won´t be my lover anymore, gosh, this cup of milk is shit. again, i will come back.

My true love…that's what all teenage girls want to know.

Well, love is nothing more than friendship. It's being at home, it's feeling like someone is listening to you, without stopping to see if they have a vagina or penis.

I know lust, I know sex.

But that tickling that has entered me from my back to my heart, and that made me spend all day with my friend, and on occasions, embarrassing more than regrettable, sticking my body to hers so that it was more than a simple friendship …what is that? I only know that I felt it, and that I was happy with what she gave me.

They say I met true love with a girl who ran off with someone else. And that my heart cried tears of blood, that I was there on her wedding day with my motorcycle.

I have been?

Oh shit. Maybe yes.

But I only know that I suffered with her. My true love broke my heart they say, but more than anything my dignity, but not with my friend.

With my friend I was happy every moment of my life. Because for hours at work, and even outside of it, she was there for me. She never got tired of waiting for me.

She was more than just a friend, she was a mother…maybe she was a lover. I close my eyes and I can imagine it.

I only know that I look into her eyes and I drown, I drown… I have no desire to touch even a hair on her head, and I am already his.

My friend, shit. I love you because you love me, and not even I can write here what I feel about our friendship.

Only without her i would have been dead a long time ago.

Damn I'm not good with words, I never have been.

But you fill me with joy. It is the plenitude that you have given me. I don't care if it's love or friendship. I know what I need, and what you give me.

Jimmy….tells me oh, how she does it!

Jimmy boy tells me when we are… well when she has me naked next to her.

Everyone talks about me. But for once I do it.

When we left each other's cigarettes after filming today, I knew we were going to do it. The ballet.

That we would commit the madness of our exercises.

I've only seen her naked once. But I didn't need more.

Because I haven't had a happy moment with my friend, they all are, that's why I know they are golden. That all of the above is nothing more than a shadow or something like that. I don't know how to say it to make it elegant. I'm not a writer.

She gave me her words, her conversation, she listened to my confessions, she gave me all her support knowing that I am what I am. Just a miserable wretch who does what he really wants. A great painter, a frustated pianist.

Yes, I have a lot of money, I told her

"Oh Jimmy boy and I have more than you," she told me, "you're a bastard when you talk about money, but i love when you speak about your matador skills."

Together we laughed, all our conversations sounds like that. My friend lets me go back to childhood. She takes care of me and gives me ideas, she plays with me.

​she invites me to all the places where she´s with her husband and kids. she does not care if i bother them, and i don´t care at all neither, because i´m not there for her family, but for her.

If only they wanted to know everything about me…they would only have to see me with my friend.

And they look at us, over and over again but they don't realize anything.

Shit, being an actor is like stopping being you.

They know everything about your character in the movie and your supposed self, but not about yourself in truth.

My friend warned me. And I believed her.

I'm not talking about Brando anymore. I no longer compare myself to another.

"You're magnificent Jimmy," my friend tells me, "if you believed me, you wouldn't worry, it would just be you."

We talked about everything, the other day we talked about the universe.

I brought a telescope to the set and at night we saw the stars. Everything is so desert…and we gave them names, insults and demons.

We dedicate them to those scavengers who call me Romeo.

Blind, blind, blind.

My friend and I synchronized.

I wait for her in her sleep, and when I sleep, she waits for me.

I never had this with anyone. Not even with my parents. Only when my mother let me sleep in the tent, but she only looked out to see me in the garden, I, afraid, ran to the house.

My mother laughed, but not like my friend.

My friend tells me that I am everything to my father too, I believe her, because when I hear her voice I can't escape it, I can only say yes.

Before meeting her I didn't know what friendship really was, nor what true love meant.

Let those stupid people say, let them write.

Love is nothing more than being at home, with your only family, and your home can be where that person who has proven to give you everything you need is.

Mine was the set of "Giant" with our creepy director. Damned.

But I respect him because she asked me to.

I apologized, I would do anything for her.

My only consolation, I don't believe in God, but I would pray for her to always be there for me. And I know she will be.

That if something separated us we would see each other again. Because I was born to be her friend, I was born so that she loves me in the way she prefers, in the way she can…

Nothing can make me give my friendship again to another woman as I did with her, or to any man. Not even my love wrapped in that friendship, damn it, love is nothing more than a sick man wrapped in the blankets of her bed.

In the friendship.

i knew about human feeling with her. and when i say all, i mean ALL. NOT ONE left without be touched for us.

She´s inside me, she´s me. Damn, even i keep her things now, a lipstick, her cigarettes,and more, she will kill me.

Your company, your company…I fear death. I was once banned from having racing cars and motorcycles for fear of losing their fucking million dollars, but if she knew herself… that I'm more afraid of dying for losing her friendship than for money or going to hell. .

I love you, my friend. But you know it. You know everything about me. Inside and out.

Even if i am the Romeo of a bitch with no personality.

Your Jimmy Boy (1955)

[rewritingcanon]

my favourite animal is delphini riddle after she got asked what her tattoo meant

my favourite animal was harry potter after amycus carrow spat in mcgonagall

my favourite animal was harry potter after he and ron found ginny kissing all over dean

my favourite animal was hermione granger after she found ron kissing all over lavender

my favourite animal was albus potter after his dad had just disarmed delphini post-crucio-cursing scorpius

my favourite animal was scorpius malfoy after albus dropped the “i wasn’t a loser before i met you” line

my favourite animal was hermione granger after she fumbled ron to padma patil and became snape 2.0

my favourite animal was lily evans after james tried to ask her out mid-torture on her best friend

my favourite animal is sirius black in his mugshot tweaking out on the front page in poa movie

[bulldog-butch]

was feeling a little james dean earlier

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

[soupinaboot]

Abed - Batman

Troy - Robin

Jeff - Two-Face

Britta - Harley Quinn

Dean - Catwoman

Annie - James Gordon

[meyerlansky]

i think the thing that bugs me most about The Clevencourse, which mostly only exists in my mind when i'm trying to write shit, is... he should be my favorite. stoic, snarky under the stoicism, has a violent streak he keeps very tightly under control because he's terrified of what it would make him, ridiculously repressed romantically/sexually, COMPLETE control freak, sharp as a tack and in a Numbers way specifically, not great with people on a one-to-one basis but understands how groups work and that it's important to know the people you interact with, shorter/smaller than the guy he doms the fuck out of. i should be ALL OVER HIM.

but the narrative doesn't actually give him opportunities to let out that violent streak, it doesn't put his internal tension on display, everyone around him fawns over him CONSTANTLY and he never seems uncomfortable with it but doesn't really do anything with it either. and then the fan reaction to him [on here, i'm not gonna get into the reddit crowd's Wrong Takes because they're just as annoying to me but in a different direction] is either "perfect woobie who can do no wrong and needs to be protected" or "complete and utter freak who outpaces everyone ever for kink and violence and callousness"

and like. neither of those move me. neither of those feel true to me. i am absolutely fucking CAPTIVATED by bucky, who is not at ALL my usual type, but like i've said in other posts, there's a fundamental tension in him between his EXTREME self-centeredness—he doesn't care that curt doesn't want to hit him, he doesn't care that crank is making valid points about the cathedral, he doesn't want to sit on the ground safe while everyone else is fighting—and the fact that he is STILL, EVEN SO, a fundamentally decent dude who cares about keeping people safe, who signed up for a dangerous job to help right nazi germany's wrongs BEFORE pearl harbor, who's the one to say "we SHOULD fold them in" about the tuskegee airmen when gale is like "i don't think anything about them," who rerouted the whole group—at least a dozen crews, 120 men—to keep one fort [piloted by someone he Really Really Likes, at MINIMUM] from going down over trondheim, who very obviously cares about people In The Abstract AND in the directly personal. it's that tension that makes him FASCINATING to me.

and it's not that gale DOESN'T have that tension! he has just as much of it IF NOT MORE, centered aroundthe fact that he Wants and categorically Will Not Allow Himself To Have. he WANTS to beat the shit out of the RAF guys, but lets curt talk him down because he Shouldn't Want To. he snaps at friedkin that they're gonna take the FW gunfire, and then right away is like "you all did such a good job" over the radio so he doesn't look like an asshole to the rest of the crew. he was GOING TO SHOOT THAT KID, and he SHOULD'VE, because it would have been WAY more interesting for him to have a single moment of rage-fueled vengeance that then haunted him for the rest of his fucking life, but he doesn't, because he has to Look Good In The Narrative.

like, curt and friedkin have like the ONLY interesting not-bucky interactions with gale BECAUSE they see that ugly side of him—curt zeroes in on his violent streak and encourages it in the pre-regensburg convo with the "we could do some real damage" as opposed to something more palatable like "we could make a big difference" or something else less aggressive. friedkin is like a kicked dog for the entire rest of the episode after gale gets in his face and won't look at him head on again. everyone else just sees Perfect Major Cleven, including gale, who never really seems to or deal with or even be angsted by his own tension, just sort of goes on acting like he doesn't have some nasty shit in him, and it's so. boring.

[fictionadventurer]

There's nothing quite like the euphoria of finding a book at exactly the right time. A book that you might mildly enjoy or even dislike at another time, but you happen to come across it in just the right mood or mindset, or at just the right age or just the right time of year, so it fits perfectly into your heart and it's elevated into something spectacular.

[possession1981-moving]

just jacob gifs (7/?)

[fromdispair2where]

[intertexts]

if i'm james dean........... and youre aubrey hepburn. then whos watching foxy???

[intravenous-agnostic]

📸: Tom Sheehan

[derelictdumbass]

Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook

Being with James was an entirely new experience, Dean knew it would be from the moment the big softie took his hand, gave him a yellow rose and asked him on that first date. He had never felt the kind of freedom and support he felt when he was with James, the absolute confidence he was utterly loved and seen by him was something he'd never imagined he'd feel. He was happy, truly—unequivocally—happy.

[princehendir]

FN:V is. A Lot more derivative of other works than most seem to realize/are willing to admit to.

[selttiks4313]

If I were smart or patient enough I would write the best spn/house au and it would be so so so good you guys.

Imagine if you will…

Non spn/human au

Dean takes care of Sammy (obv) and whenever he’s sick they go to the free clinic. John brings them once or twice. House clocks John as an alcoholic probably. Knows he’s ex military (the way Dean calls him sir etc.) and feels for the boys because we all know houses dad was a pos too. Treats John like shit but good with Sam. (Good in deans eyes, even better in Sam’s)

Eventually John stops coming around (dead? Lost custody? Idk idc) and it’s just Dean at Sammy’s apts. (maybe Bobby or Ellen in an emergency?? House could ask Sam where his brother is etc.)

House and Dean vibe even when he’s young. Dean just wants to get in and get out and not waste his or houses time. Sammy doesn’t complain either which is unlike most kids. House is an ass but Dean enjoys those visits more than when he sees other providers.

(I feel like Dean comes in one day (an adult at drinking age atp) and house wants to kill time to piss off Cuddy and Dean doesn’t wanna go back to work. This is when the primary bonding happens.)

They watch general hospital together in the exam room and talk about dr sexy. They leer at nurses and Cuddy. They talk about deans car and houses bike. Having shitty dads. Music, bad horror movies.

Dean likes Wilson too. He comes around sometimes and seems nice enough. Dean notices something is kinda up with those two but it isn’t his business. Wilson’s third wife sounds unbearable.

They don’t ever hangout or anything. (Unless? Maybe they run into each other at a bar a few times? Moody drinking and talking music or something equally them. But never intentionally hanging out) Their worlds don’t blur that much. I’m thinking more like random hijinx leading them to having several interactions (10+?) over the years.

Charlie breaks an arm or something. Benny needs stitches and won’t let Dean do it. Bobby’s been sick for two months and refuses to be seen until Dean makes him go in. STD check up (House would have a field day with this) IDK just random instances to where they have a bit of familiarity with one another.

I feel like House would call Dean “the ken doll” Winchester. Dean would flirt with Cameron and House would be delighted. Etc etc. Just random instances through out the years where they recognize and respect each other. Nothing more.

Until

Cas gets sick. Weird sick, needs houses expertise sick. No one at the clinic is taking Dean’s concerns about Cas seriously. (I feel like Cas having major personality changes would be Interesting maybe?? Like combo of godstiel/insane Cas. Maybe a seizure or two?? Idk something!) Until Dean sees House in the hallway. House agrees to see him because he likes Dean and he’s bored.

Normal medical malpractice ensues blah blah blah

But

Deans reaction to Cas being sick is unsettling to house. They’re just friends right? This is the guy Deans mentioned to him in passing before?

But why does Dean look at him (Cas) like that? Why is he holding his hand? Why did he brush the hair out of his eyes?

Dean once referred to this Cas guy as his own Wilson. But House doesn’t look at Wilson like that, does he?? *Insert House spiral here*

Wilson also gets nervous watching them together or hearing them talk about each other. I think he and Cas need to bond. Both in love with grumpy men who are too afraid to allow themselves to love.

Oooo Cas reprimanding Dean for being rude in almost identical fashion to how Wilson did to House before they entered the room. That would be hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious. Very funny to imagine the ducklings searching Deans place. (Not the bunker. Maybe Bobbys? Maybe an apt above the roadhouse?)

I just know they would have lots to say. Forced masculinity comments with the nudie magazines/calendars etc. Surprisingly good/healthy ingredients/food in the house? Dean cooks apparently. Books on mechanical engineering and fantasy/sci-fi novels.

I feel like he and Cas need to be roommates for some reason in this 🤔. Maybe Cas has just moved in? Escaped his family’s religious extremist right wing bs. Maybe he doesn’t even have a room yet??? Maybe he and Dean share.

Ducklings taking bets on if Dean and Cas are dating, besties, or in love but repressed. “Sounds like two other men best friends that we know” *foreman voice*

House saves Cas because of course he does. Dean cries and rests their foreheads together and House feels uncomfy watching this and skedaddles.

Something about seeing them together will push him and/or Wilson to make a move finally. Not sure who or how yet.

I want to write this soooooo bad but I know I’ll never finish it. Someone want to write this for me?? It would be so good I just know it!!!!

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

of this is a safe space… he’d pull me with those donuts…

[wittgensteining]

I am not even a swiftie but style is such a good song, it just encapsulates the feeling of having a crush so perfectly