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#ive worked on this for So long i think u can tell which were the last . im so sorry
fakesorbet · 3 months
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The Bad Kids + Summer drinks
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yongseungkim · 5 months
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#like i definitely need therapy lol#not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps#so im trying to reach out again because holy shit#i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships#but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own#i have good friends i know who will hear me out#but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear#and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like#once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr#i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud#so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol .#but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part#i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice#but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own#im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change#if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally#and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe#i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions#bro its also been like so long#i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp#*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u .#but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all#like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi#feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore#like i just want it all to stop!#i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like#i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore#the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like#SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD.#ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?
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leonsrailway · 3 months
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hello my love! been thinking about creepy stalker leon lately <3 maybe vendetta leon! he's damaged mentally and he can't stop himself from being fixated on you. like he corners you somewhere and dubious consent things proceed. IN PUBLIC WOULD BE HOT, but they don't get caught. for a fem! reader
ive been watching you.
AHHHHH first request ate tf up. something about vendetta leon makes me blush. i hope u like!!!
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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. NSFW UNDER THE CUT
CW: smut 18+, p in v, fingering, oral (f! receiving), dubcon, semi-public sex, stalking, obsession, masturbation, leon being a creepy perv, age gap (reader is like 22), noncon photography, choking, size kink if u squint and tilt ur head
fem! reader
divider: @leonsdolly
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hes not a weirdo. really! he never meant for it to go this far.
it was a random day last august when he wandered into the restaurant you worked at. but as soon as you came to his table and introduced yourself with that pretty little smile and those big doe eyes, he knew he'd been in trouble. after a short pause, he turned his charm on and started a conversation with you.
then he found himself back the next day. and the next.
he swore the only reason he showed up was for the coffee, which was the laziest excuse he could muster considering the coffee was from K-Cups, but you didnt seem to mind. every time you worked, you found your eyes glancing to his booth hoping to see his dark hair poking over the top of the booth in front of him. he could see the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, he just hoped you didnt notice the way his cock twitched when his eyes locked with yours.
during your small talk at his table, even after he learned you were half his age, he could only ever think about the way his large, rough hands would feel running all along your body, from your pretty tits, to your waist, to your thighs, to your- oh shit, what were you saying?
"you with me, Mr. Kennedy?" fuck, he loved when he heard his name leave your lips. "uh, yeah, sorry. long night. what were you saying?"
"did you want your regular?" you were smirking, almost mocking how distracted he was.
"yea, add something for yourself pretty lady, come sit with me on your break?"
leon had been a regular of your months. he looked to be in his late 30s-early 40s, and you'd be lying if you said his little nickname didnt make your knees a little weak.
"as much as id love to, Mr. Kennedy, i cant today. but i can definitely get that order in for you" you reluctantly deny his request.
he didnt appreciate that.
-
after a week of discreetly following you home after your shifts, he'd learned your routines. what time you shower in the evening, what time you have dinner, what time you touch yourself when everyone else falls asleep...
leon invested in some binoculars from the local nerd store and even found a little bush he could hide in perfectly angled to show him your bedroom. he even bought himself a new camera so he could take pictures of you when you look your best, oblivious.
when you had gone off to work one day, he snuck in right as you left. he's not sure what possessed him to do this, he used to be such a good guy. he wanted to protect and serve and... now look at him, rummaging in some 20 somethings underwear drawer.
-
you slam the register shut after counting your money for that night, it had been a long one. full of old men, not leon, telling you to "smile for them" or snapping at you for a refill of their sweet teas. everyone else had gone home for the night, and you were just about to lock up. your body ached, you felt like falling on the nearest flat surface and knocking out for the week.
until you heard the bell ding.
"we're close-" you were cut off by yourself when you saw who walked in, "oh, hey Mr. Kennedy."
theres his girl. "hey honey, you alright? you look tired" he approached you from behind.
"its been a long day, but nothing i can't handle. i was actually just about to lock up the restaurant... so.." you trail off, hoping he may get the hint that you just want to go home.
"well good thing i came in, huh?" he laughs, and so do you, but you didnt find it too funny. he was starting to stand a little bit too close to you for your comfort, even though you trusted him.
"i guess" you say, blushing when he gives you a look that made you almost rip off his shirt right then and there. but you cant, thats wrong, what would your parents think?
"you look pretty, angel" leon says, tilting your head up to look up at him. god, he was tall, and his one hand could cover your whole face.
"t-thank you Mr. Ke-"
"Leon. call me Leon"
"thank you, leon" you reply, crossing your arms, tensing up. you knew you shouldn't be feeling this way, it isn't professional.
he couldnt hold himself back anymore. whether it was the way your big pretty eyes looked up at him like a trap, or the way his hand was finally grazing your soft skin, something made him bold enough to kiss you.
"Le- Leon... we can't" you made out between kisses, as much as you were denying him, you were still kissing him back, that kept him going.
"we can't? that's too bad..." he mutters in your ear, breath fanning against your neck as his fingers wandered below your waistband, "because im gonna do it anyway"
you squirmed against him but you couldn't deny the way you mewled in his ear when he grazed your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. he laughed meanly in your ear before putting his free hand around your throat and gently squeezing when he applies the slightest pressure to your clothes clit, making you moan, "i knew you'd like that". he lays you down in a booth in the empty restaurant.
"p-lease... fuck" you tugged at his shirt, shyly asking for more. he laughs at the change in your charcter from only a moment ago, before ultimately complying with your silent request. he rips your clothes off and leaves a trail of sloppy, wet kisses from your neck, to your tits, to your stomach, and finally down to your pussy.
he gazes up at you with the hungriest eyes youve ever seen, glazed over and half lidded yet so focused on you. he makes out with your cunt, his nose bumping into your clit as he slips his tongue in and out of your hole, making lewd, borderline pornographic sounds. you were a wreck, writhing under him and grinding your hips into his face as he moaned incoherent praises into you, the vibrations making you soak his face more than you knew you could.
he eventually sticks two fingers into you as he sucks on your puffy, neglected clit, and once he curls his fingers to the spot that makes you jolt, he keeps on hitting that spot again and again and again until you cum in his mouth. he doesnt stop then, using his tongue to clean up your mess until you're pushing him away, a stupid cocky grin plastered on his wet lips.
you didn't realize you were taking his belt off until his cock was in front of you. he was big, leaking precum from his pretty pink tip and his eyes were piercing yours as he pumped himself a few times before lining himself with your entrance, the two of you gasping in tandem as he bottomed out inside of you.
tears pricked at your eyes as he began to move, the pain and pleasure and overstimulation from your last orgasm all combining and making a cocktail of sensations you've never experienced before. your head lolled to the side and you squeezed your eyes shut while leon rocked you into next year, until he just almost cuts off your airway and forces you to face him and look in his eyes as he drills into you like a jackhammer.
"ah-ah-ah-f-uuuck, Lee!" you moaned into his neck as you scratched pretty red lines down his back, making him grit his teeth to keep from letting out a whine he'd only heard when cumming in the panties he stole from your room
"i know pretty girl, feels good doesn't it?" he lets up on your throat, not that you could catch your breath at the rate he was plowing you. "y-yes- i'm cumming, oh my god im cumming" your eyes roll into the back of your head and you draw blood from biting your lip.
"go ahead princess, im right there with you" he grunts, slightly angling to hit you impossibly deeper, which was your final straw, you let out a string of curses and chants of his name as you cream his cock, he spills his load inside of you. not that you're that angry, his warm cum spilling out of you felt so nice you couldn't dare be angry.
the two of you catch your breath in silence until leon snaps a photo of your leaky cunt, both of your cum spilling onto your thighs.
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churipu · 5 months
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hii i hope ur midterms r going well !! ive binge read so many of ur work n js wanted to say theyre so amazing (´꒳`) i wanted a request for toji + any other character of ur choice x reader who stays up late n has difficulty sleeping (fluff),, thank u !! 🤍
𝗜𝗧'𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗔𝗠 !
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────── 𝕴 . featuring. toji fushiguro x reader
────── 𝕴 . warnings. cursing, and mentions of toji being soft, i love him.
note. hi nonnie! thank you so much, you're too nice to me, and yes, my midterms went well! it's been so long since i've done the requests in my inbox, which is the sole reason to why i have closed my ask box so i could finish them all! although, the next time i open them, i won't accept requests for a bit. sorry for those who have visited my inbox and have waited for a long time for your piece to be done. // anyways, new theme = new layout!
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"why aren't you in bed?"
toji's voice came out hoarse — he cleared his throat and approached you, sitting himself on the couch despite his heart caressing his ears, pleading for him to go back inside the bedroom and just lay back down on the bed.
the cotton surface of the couch dipped just as he practically threw himself down on it, holding back a loud yawn. you raised a brow, shoving the spoonful of cereal you mixed with milk five minutes ago, just before toji emerged from your shared room.
small yellow chips of cereal that had grown soggy, seeping in the white tasteless liquid dispersed into a mush inside your mouth. they weren't even solid as they're supposed to be, "can't sleep, you?"
"you weren't there."
old habits die hard. that's how the saying goes, and you undeniably agreed to that. the night is an old friend to you, never did your eyelids felt heavy when you were supposed to be in bed, asleep. it's not healthy, you're killing yourself doing this.
"you're such a baby," you mutter out, staring into space, feeling your eyes slowly dissociate — jaw moving in a slow motion, biting into wet and mush before you swallow them.
"y/n, it's three am, y' can't keep doing this stuff," toji scratches his nape, leaning his head back onto the couch rest.
despite your eyes staring into nothing, you could hear his words pretty well. in fact, toji had repeated the same words countless of times that you found yourself engraving it into your mind, "i know, i can't sleep. i know it's not healthy, if i could stop it, i would."
"you're scooping nothing, y/n."
this time, his statement pulled you back into reality. looking down to see that you were indeed scooping no soggy cereal chip, nor a drop of milk onto your spoon. chuckling out lightly, you stood up and sauntered over to the kitchen, dumping what was left of your cereal pieces into the sink.
"you should go to bed," you tell him, wiping your wet hands onto your shirt — crumpling up the fabric to soak them in the access waterdrops lacing your fingers, "'ts late."
toji scoffs lightly, "shouldn't i be saying that shit to you?"
no mistakes there. you emitted out a soft sigh, "i'm fine, i'll be back in bed in a few . . ." toji raises a brow skeptically. he never forgot the last time you said that, he woke up alone on the bed — and you were wide awake on the couch, watching the morning news.
"hell no. it's two of us or nobody goes back to bed, 'm not kidding." he mutters out, not realizing how harsh his voice came out as.
brows furrowed deeply, he looks at you. your disheveled (h/c) hair going all point in a compass points, the visible dark shade of exhaustion coloring under your eyes — and the light creases on the corner of your beautiful, tired eyes.
"can you not?" you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose; honestly, you can't blame him at all, he's just a worried boyfriend and you were being stubborn.
"can i not what? worry about my own—" he stops mid sentence and shakes his head. toji was never a man of words, he doesn't express his affection to you through words. he's had moments, not a lot, but he's had them.
toji's a man of actions. he thinks that words mean nothing, which you knew, "'m tired, but i can't sleep, okay? i'll just hang out here a few more minutes and i'll come back to bed. you don't have to stay awake just because 'm awake."
"just shut up."
you stare at him, surprised. parting your lips, you try to speak again but toji beats you to it.
"can't i worry about you or something? you're my partner," he said, his then exhausted eyes now fully refreshed. a tinge of frustration coloring his greenish iris.
your eyes darted around for a bit, searching for words to spout out as a reply, "you don't have to worry about me, 'm fine. i promise. so, can you please just go to bed and stop worrying about me?"
"fuck that," he stands up, with heavy footsteps he darted towards you.
his figure grew in your view as he closes the distance between you and him. with a quick motion, he threw you over his shoulder, letting you dangle over his shoulder. at this point, you were too exhausted to even move a limb so you just laid there, not having the cell to even open your mouth.
toji walks over to the bedroom and he sat you down gently on the bed. on most occasions, he would throw you onto the bed playfully — but this was serious. he's pissed, and you're pissed.
"sleep."
you crane your neck upwards, face scrunching into one of annoyance, "i just told you that i can't—"
"try."
shaking your head, you said, "i can't, i've tried."
his finger brushed over your hair, smoothing them back down. he didn't reply to you. frankly, he finds it hard to be in the current position — as a kid, he was taught to never show his weakness. he grew up in a household full of so much hate that he forgot what love is.
here you were. vulnerable, in a weak state that toji has seen a lot before throughout your relationship. if this was anyone else, toji swore he'd tell them to suck it up because life isn't always what they think it ought to be.
but this isn't anyone else, it's you. y/n. the only person toji has showed his own vulnerable sides to — it's like a punch to his gut when he saw a bit of his younger self in you. he had nobody, and nobody had him.
it's different this time, it's not about him anymore. it's about you. you had him, and he had you.
toji inhaled sharply, his large hands slipping underneath your pits as he gently pushes you up. your feet dangled as he then pulled you into him, his right hand traveled onto the hollow of your back — and his left hand prepped your legs around his torso.
you felt like a child, "what're you doing?"
"shut up," he mutters out into the crook of your neck, "just try to get some sleep."
he pressed his lips onto your skin tenderly, making you shudder at the sudden contact — but you liked it. toji didn't stop, with an arm around your waist, and another under your thighs, he held you close to him.
warm and shallow breaths blew onto your skin like warm lights, it didn't tickle, you bury your head into the crook of his neck. copying his actions, "'m sorry."
toji grunted, "for?"
"just . . . everything," you murmur out.
his grip around your waist tightened, "'ts not somethin' to be sorry of, you can't control it. so just try and get some sleep," he muttered out, rocking side to side gently.
a faint smile appeared on your lips as you pulled your head back slightly, "you're too nice to me."
"don't get used to it," toji rolled his eyes.
"i love you too," you planted a kiss onto his lips briefly before returning your head into the crook of his neck, letting him lull you to sleep for the night.
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© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE.
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bippiti · 7 months
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catalyst clc16 x rockstar! reader
after the release of your new album, life has been hectic as you've been running around doing shows. only problem is you seem to have only one person on your mind. little do you know he's having the same issue
an part two! any feedback is appreciated and please like + rb!
if you want a visual guide for the band .
part one next part
tags @bloodyymaryyy @guiseppetsunoda @maxverstappendefender @charizznorizz
yourig
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liked by king, charles_leclerc and 42,836,364 others
yourig thanks for coming out london! nyc see you soon x
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user ughh i wish i couldve come :((
yourig next time lovee💜
user sounded so good
user anyone else gonna talk about the album afterparty???
user who cares bro😭 theyre adults and tbh they would be a power couple
user right?! ive been thinking the same thing, shes not a good influence on him
user im sorry do yk y/n??? how would u know that lmfao
king looking good!
liked by yourig
user where is the fit from???
user i think vivienne westwood!
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you sighed, scrolling through your comments. it had been almost a month after your albums release, and some people still were bringing up the hug with charles. i mean, seriously it was just a hug. it wasn't like you guys had made out or anything.
both your label and ferrari were sponsored by celsius, and your management had met with one of ferraris pr heads. they had agreed to work together to promote the new album, and had picked charles because he was a fan of your music.
you clicked instantly on the first day of set, but it also helped that you spoke fluent french (you had an obsession with indila when you were younger and forced yourself to learn it) the lack of a language barrier, coupled with the fact that you guys had similar interests made it inevitable that you both would become friends.
after the album launch party, you were exhausted. you had woken up at 4am for promo shoots, and had been running around all day before singing your whole album (which was around an hour long) to the attendees. it was fun, and you wouldnt trade your career for the whole world, but man you were tired.
as you were heading out, you spotted charles and you both stopped to talk
"tu as bien fait là-dedans" he said, smiling as he pushed his hands into his pockets (you did good in there)
"merci! les heures de pratique m’ont aidé. je pense que je pourrais oublier les paroles si j’essayais" you smile as he laughed (thanks! the hours of practice helped. i dont think i could forget the lyrics if i tried)
"en pratiquant son art on devient artisan" (practice makes perfect)
you nod, turning as you hear your bandmate siobahn call for you
you look back to him, saying your goodbyes and quickly hugging him before running after her.
that was it. just a friendly hug. it's not like he liked you, and if he knew you liked him, you doubt he would still be friends with you.
-
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourig, pierregasly and 305,387 others
charles_leclerc i won. maybe next time @/pierregasly 😘
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user just realized pierre had a chance to fork the king and the rook in
user not y/n liking this...
user so cute😍
pierregasly i almost had it
charles_leclerc of course you did
user my fav french men
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-
after having checkmate charles sat back, smiling smugly as he looked at pierre try and fail to make a move. giving up, he raised his hands in defeat.
"quand vais-je jamais te battre?" he said sighing as he chuckled (when will i ever beat you)
"peut-être dans une autre vie" (maybe in another life)
scoffing, pierre changed the subject.
"so i heard you're with some rockstar these days"
"i most definitley am not"
"sure, sure. you might not be dating her but i can tell you like her"
charles paused, having a mini crisis. ok. so maybe he did like you. he couldn't help it, honestly. throughout filming ,and even after he had grown to really admire you. not only just as an artist, but as a person as well. he honestly hoped you'd be able to meet up afterwards, but he hasnt been able to see you since. between his preseason training and your concerts, you both are rarely free, let alone in the same country.
he told all of this to pierre, who listened quietly, nodding along before telling him his masterplan. he was gonna help him out, what kindve friend would he be if he didnt?
-
hearing the notification sound go off on your phone, you picked it up. your eyebrows raised as you read it
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part 3??
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sturnsmadl · 1 month
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mute.
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< previous
contains-no use of y/n, cursing, light fluff, unestablished friendship, mentions of tough time at school
pairing- grumpy!chris x mute!reader
please read the authors note at the bottom :)
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its chris' second day and to your suprise he's not very liked so far, you managed to escape from him yesterday but today was different. it was like he was tracing your every step because when you turn around? he's there. it was lunch period and normally you go to the old makeout cupboard, where everyone would go make out with their boyfriends, seniors, ex's and even other people's girlfriends. that was until the teachers found out and another random closet started getting used. instead of constantly sitting in a bathroom stool and getting made fun of you starting using the closet to finally eat lunch in peace.
Flashback!!
after you left the classroom you head straight for the cupboard and sit down on the floor against one of the shelving units. you open ur beat up, pink lunchbox you've had for as long as you can remember and look over what you packed for yourself today. lunch ends just before u can finish and you pack up quickly, needing to leave the cupboard before the halls fill up and people realise where you disappear to at lunch.
Flashback ends!!
unfortunately chris had a feeling, and a strong one too. chris could sense something was off about your silence and even if you were hated for it he would figure out what it was, he'd made the effort to follow you around like a spy for the whole day and at lunch he finally saw where you disappeared into yesterday. he has no clue why your hiding in there all the time but he knows he's going to find out either way. he follows you and waits a few minutes before opening the door and going in, closing it behind him. you look up from the floor and see him, your heart immediately stops and you, as usual stay completely silent.
"what the fuck..."
he stares at you then you see his expression slightly soften which suprises you as its completely different from the whole mean, tough demeanor he gives off. he sits down opposite you and sighs to himself as he looks around where youve been sitting at lunch for god knows how long.
"what are you doing? there's empty tables out there.."
you shrug softly obviously not going to speak and tell him your hiding so no one can see you eating alone, he looks at your beat lunchbox, your old backpack and your clothes and he can already tell your not the luckiest of people but he still thinks your insanely beautiful and just simply misunderstood.
weeks later
its been around 2 weeks since chris found your spot and everyday without fail he's came in and sat on the cold floor with you to eat his lunch just so ur not completely alone. he's always rambling about his day or how another teacher has become one of his worst for simply asking him to do his work, of course you dont say anything but you listen to him and you nod to show him your listening. you've weirdly became kind of comfortable around chris which isnt a feeling youve felt in a while and your honestly thinking about speaking to him while he rants on about how shit his old school was and how he's glad he was finally kicked out so he could start again. your so tempted to speak and while he's mid sentence you crack.
he groans " and the gym teacher? actually the biggest dick ive ev-"
"chris." you whisper just loud enough for his head to shoot up in shock.
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a/n- ok i know this is also very boring :/ but i swear now that shes talking its gonna be a lottt better and more entertaining!
edit- wait i hate this dm omg. i promise promise promise that next part will be juicyyy
tags! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @watchu-mean-baby-keem @babyalliah-777 @imtheprett @sturniolo-fann @coochiedestroyer1 @scarlettbitches
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bbunivxrse · 8 months
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AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao
❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO
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pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY
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so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.
as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.
if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.
obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable. 
waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table. 
incoming call from gojo.
its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??” 
“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned
“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!” 
“no.” 
“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?” 
“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“ 
“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!” 
“what?? n-“ 
“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'
getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?
checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out. 
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training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’
you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.
in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some  random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.
finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock. 
you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like. 
within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?” 
“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.
“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,” 
“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.” 
“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school. 
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“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?” 
“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.” 
“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.
after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.” 
“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.
as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?” 
“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.” 
“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.
“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…” 
“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.”  you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here. 
“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.
as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often. 
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i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext
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katsu28 · 2 months
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hi my lovely kait!
i saw your requests were open and i actually was thinking about if ive ever requested smth from you before (i think maybe once but im not sure)
i was wondering if i could get ‘Kissing away their tears’ with charles but i wouldn’t mind if you wanted to do it with anyone else as well! i’ve been craving some hurt/comfort.
love you and have an amazing day <33
hali!!! love u love u thank u for being so sweet <3 here's some hurt and (hopefully) some comfort for u!
charles leclerc x reader, 1.4k. request something from here!
You can tell that Charles is dejected the moment he climbs out of the car. He doesn’t have that spring in his step he usually gets after an exhilarating race, and his feet drag on the asphalt as he trudges over to the weighing station with the rest of the grid, barring the podium goers. 
Carlos finished high up in the points, which is a win for Ferrari and you know Charles is happy for him, but you can’t imagine what it must feel like to constantly miss out on points and positions while his teammate consistently comes out in the top five every time. 
Formula One is a different breed of competition—your teammate might be your friend, but they’re also one of your biggest rivals. You fight to keep your seat, race after race, season after season, and this downhill spiral Charles has been in ever since his home win has been disheartening to say the least. 
You don’t know much about the strategy of it all, but you know Ferrari’s hasn’t been working out for him. He’s had a rough go of it lately, and your heart hurts for him. 
Charles looks up to where he knows you are, lifting his hand in a haphazard wave at you before being ushered away to the media pen. You’ll wait for him where you always meet him after races.
Somehow, he looks even more defeated than before as he trudges into his driver room after post race interviews conclude. He throws his paddock pass off to the side. You’re sitting up on the countertop, legs swinging mindlessly, only stilling when Charles shuts the door behind him. 
“Hey,” You say softly, gently. 
“Hi. Thank you for coming.” He tries his attempt at a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. You hold out your arms, and immediately, Charles steps forward, folding himself into your embrace. You know Charles well enough to know that he won't believe you if you compliment him right now, so you don’t. You sit with him in the heavy silence instead, waiting for him to make the first move. “I’m sorry I could not do better.” 
“You did the best you could with what you were given, Charles,” You say assuringly, rubbing a hand over his shoulders. He sighs long and hard, like you’re just telling him what he wants to hear. “I’m proud of you.” 
“Can we just go back to the hotel now?” He asks quietly, muffled because of how his face is buried into your neck. “I’m done for today. Anything else can wait until tomorrow.” 
“Of course,” You hum, carding a gentle hand through his hair one more time before releasing him. Before he can get too far, you kiss him, short and sweet. He smiles then too, a little bigger than before, but still quite sad. 
Charles puts on a pleasant facade as you make your way through the paddock back to the car park, taking pictures with waiting fans, signing things for them if he can reach them like most drivers do whilst leaving the track. Most of them are sweet to him. They tell him to keep his head up and believe, that a few bad races don’t discredit how talented of a driver he is. 
There’s a few hecklers as usual, upset fans who’d made bets on Charles’ performance and lost that money, people who say he could be doing so much better—as if them telling him that would magically make everything alright again. You give your own deadpan stare to that lot from where you hover a good distance away from him, not caring that they can definitely see you. 
Charles may be media trained, but you’re not. You have no problems with shutting up a few twats with your expertly crafted death glare. Fred Vasseur might call you in for a meeting with the PR team if he sees the photos on social media, but you don’t care. 
The car ride back to the hotel is understandably silent, but Charles still holds your hand tightly, rubbing absentminded circles along your skin because it soothes him, every so often lifting it to press a kiss to your knuckles. You don’t push him to talk, and you don’t think you need to. You know him well enough to know he’ll let you in when he’s ready. 
Dinner is room service and holds a little more conversation, though you can tell Charles is still off in his own world, thinking about everything that’s gone wrong these past few races, wondering if he could’ve done anything to get a better outcome. 
You come out of the bathroom after brushing your teeth, well and ready to go to sleep and forget this day, but instead you find your boyfriend sitting at the end of the bed, hunched over with his head in his hands. At the sound of the door opening, he looks up, and you can tell he’s been trying hard not to cry. 
Glassy eyes stare back at you, the beautiful green eyes that you adore filled with so much pain and sadness it makes you want to cry too. His teeth dig hard into his bottom lip, but it still wobbles just the slightest. 
It isn’t until you’re across the room, sliding on your knees to hug him against you that the final string holding Charles up snaps, and he leans into you heavily, pressing his face against your shoulder with a shuddering breath. He cries and cries, and you let him, holding him as tight as you can just so he knows you’ve got him. 
You’ve always got him. 
His body shakes with silent sobs, hot tears soaking into your shirt, and all you can do is murmur quiet reassurances into his ear, even if the feeling of wet cotton against your skin makes you want to peel yourself out of it. Charles needs this, needs to let it all out so he can focus on what lies ahead without being dragged down by the past. 
Eventually, his sobs come to a hiccupping stop. He lifts his head, red rimmed eyes meeting your own tearful ones. His nose is even running a little bit, and if it were anyone else you’d push them away, but it’s Charles. “I’m sorry. I don’t—I don’t know why…” He trails off without finishing his sentence, seemingly at a loss for words. 
“Oh, my love,” You sigh, stroking both thumbs over the apples of his cheeks. You press your lips against his, hoping it can convey just how much you love him without you having to even utter the words, wiping away his tears gently before drawing back to look at him. As much as you hate it when Charles cries, he’s pretty like this. Tears cling to long, dark lashes, mussed hair a soft tornado of brown from how your fingers had been running through it. “You have nothing to be sorry for. And you never have to explain anything to me, yes? I’m here for you, always, no matter what.”
“Thank you,” He murmurs, leaning back in with his forehead against yours. “Thank you, mon amour. Your support, your love, it means everything to me. You are why I can keep doing this. ” 
You shake your head. “No I’m not.” Charles cocks his head, and you poke his chest, right over his heart. “That is why you can keep doing this.” 
One more poke, this one softer and on his forehead. “And this. Your mind and your heart, your determination, your strength, that is why you keep going. You are the most hard working, talented, brilliant driver I’ve ever seen. You can bounce back from whatever this is, and you will. But not because of me, because that’s the kind of person you are.” 
Charles pats the spot next to him and you oblige, looping your arm through his once you’re there, leaning against his shoulder now. He lays a lingering kiss to the top of your head, a silent gesture of appreciation towards you. He appreciates you more than he can put into words sometimes, a fact that hasn’t and will never change.  
Even though he’s still frustrated and sad and upset, this silence seems considerably lighter as you sit with him. You hope for brighter days ahead, and you’ll always try your best to be his strongest support system, no matter what the future holds.
follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)
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mncxbe · 10 months
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hiii! i hope ur requests are open and if theyre not im very sorry and ignore this!
ive been thinking too much about dazai with a younger reader whos 15 and reminds him a lot of himself. like he remembers what oda said and becomes determined to steer u down the right path
overall becomes a sweet (but very annoying sometimes) big brother figure <333
nonnie♡♡ this is hhh such a nice idea I went a bit silly with it hope u like it. he would definitely try to bring you on the right path. to make things even more interesting let's assume you're from the PM.
The two of you met when he was out on a mission with Atsushi. Naturally, he paid no attention to you, a little scrawny kid scrolling on her phone, walking in their direction. But that was until you suddenly attacked them.
You were so relentless in your fight that you ended up badly injured, so they had to take you back to the Ada office to get treated by Yosano. After all, a Port Mafia member or not, Dazai couldn't bring himself to let a kid die.
When you eventually woke up in the infirmery you saw him standing at the edge of your bed, arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched you intently.
"You feeling better kid?" he asked and you only nodded in response, eyes darting around the room, taking in your surroundings.
Dazai noticed the cunning look on your face, the way you scanned the room for possible escapes while still maintaining a nonchalant facade and couldn't help but chuckle.
"Now, now don't worry kid. We'll let you go as soon as you answer some questions"
Dazai asked you about your mission and your involement with your Port Mafia; routine questions mostly: how you ended up working for them, who you serve under, how long you've been with the PM- things to which you gave a half-hearted, disinterested response. But you refused to get into detail about the organization's plans; no matter how much he persuaded you and tried to get inside your head, you just wouldn't break.
With each calculated reply Dazai saw more of his younger self in you; the innate ability to lie like it was your second nature, the way you managed to turn any conversation in your favour and mostly, how impassive you were to any of his threaths.
"You know, if you refuse to cooperate I'm gonna have to get the information out of you in other ways"
You simply sighed, idly picking at your nails. "Well, pain would be bothersome, but I'd rather die than betray the Mafia"
Dazai saw an opening, a slight crack in your carefully built facade "So you're that afraid of what they might do to you if they find out you're a traitor?"
"Nah, but I prefer to stay true to the things I believe in. After all, does life have any value if you give up on your beliefs?"
There it was, the answer he was looking for. Sighing, he rose to his feet, staring down at you "That's quite grim for a kid your age to say."
"I don't think it's grim. More like honest, but who am I to discuss the value of life with you?" you said casually, pointing at his bandages.
"Oh wow touché" he chuckled "But what exactly are those values you're so keenly holding on to, some principles passed down to you by the boss? Can you really call those things values?"
"Sure I can. As long as they give me a purpose to live" For a brief moment you caught a shadow of doubt on the brunette's face. He was conflicted, you could tell.
"You know" he started again "I once thought the same as you do, that good and evil don't matter as long as you do a job and get it done well, but violence and death only give birth to more violence and death. It's a vicious cycle, really, so don't expect to find a purpose or a reason to live in that."
You lowered your gaze, continuing to pick at your nails and he knew the conversation was over. He wasn't gonna get anything out of you.
"Look, kid, you're wasting yourself in there. If you want a reason to live I can give it to you"
"And why would you do that? You don't seem the type to do charity work?"
"Let's just say that that's my purpose in life, to guide people like you on the right path"
"People like me? Meaning petty criminals working for the Mafia?" you inquired mockingly, raising a brow.
Dazai scoffed at your remark "We both know you're more than a petty criminal, but yes. People like you, who don't take life for granted and want to understand its meaning."
"So now you can psychoanalyse me too hm? Are you gonna tell me this mentality of mine comes from the fact that I grew up without a father figure or...?"
Your witty remarks were starting to get to him, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Nah, it comes from the fact that all you've seen in your life is evil and look where this has gotten you. Five years in the Mafia and you're still where you were at the beginning, still searching for a deeper meaning in life. We're more alike than you may think, kid. As I said, I used to be in the same position you're in"
You shrugged, feigning disinterest, but he could tell his words were affecting you.
"And your point is?"
Taking in a deep breath, Dazai combed a hand through his hair "My point is that you should leave the Mafia and join us. Change your perspective. If finding a purpose in life truly is your goal, then you won't regret this decision. Trust me"
You both stood in silence for a while as you considered his proposal. You could technically leave the Mafia, it's not like working there has gotten you anywhere. No matter how many missions you completed or how fast you climbed the ladder, there was still a nagging feeling that you could do more, that there was more to life than this.
You finally raised your gaze to meet his and gave a small nod. "I'll think about it."
"Good, you do that, kid"
Dazai helped you out of the bed and walked you to the front of the building. You left without even saying goodbye, making your way down the street; towards the Port Mafia headquarters. Dazai watched you slowly walk away, your figure growing smaller with each step you took and somewhere deep down he was sure he'd see you again.
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avocado-writing · 5 months
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hi!! ive.. gone and read so much of ur work in one sitting. its all so much to take in, IN A GOOD WAY, and i absolutely adore every single word
would u be so kind.. to bless my angst durge needs..
Durge Resist tav, was strong for all until the brain was finally defeated but now, with what she believed her only purpose/chance at redemption (brain), they can't help but feel utterly empty and,, unredeemed. They mourn all those they have robbed from this world, nameless, and countless numbers of people they robbed of the life that they were now being given the chance at living. Surely they don't deserve it(Is what they think..)
They are pathetically in love, and if they deserve anything, its to tell their special one just how much they are adored before casting themselves out of society (or taking their own life, if ur comfortable writing such things-)
Rolan, Dammon, Zevlor, maybe even Rugan if u write for that loser LMAO. just.. whoever u write for, its the tieflings i adore most ahegege
if this didnt make sense IM SORRY i havent slept in so long and sleep is not choosing me. i just crave angst, perhaps with a happy ending if u would indulge me so..!! thank u if u read this, so much!!
hi, I don't write fics about suicide, but here's the tiefling bachelors with a durge who's planning to disappear after the absolute is gone and giving them one final confession:
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Dammon
senses something is wrong when you take him aside for a heart-to-heart.
it isn't that you avoid these sorts of moments per se, he just knows you only affirm your affections when something big is going to happen (you did it before you went off to fight the elder brain)
he holds your hand tightly, gets you to look him in the eye.
"I love you, no matter what, and I never want to be without you. tell me you'll be there when I wake up tomorrow. in our bed. swear it to me."
you can see the utter adoration he looks at you with, and you think: maybe you aren't so bad if a man like this can truly love you.
the next morning Dammon wakes up. you're not in bed next to him. he panics, getting to his feet - only to find you in the kitchen making breakfast.
he's never been so relieved. walks up behind you and wraps you in his arms. he loves you so dearly, and will keep on loving you until you believe yourself worthy of it.
Rolan
Rolan doesn't quite understand why you're having this great outburst, but chalks it down to emotions running high after the final battle.
says goodnight, kisses you, and heads off to his tower - he has a lot of admin to do after all.
the next morning he comes to meet you at the elfsong, only to be met with the realisation that you aren't there. he curses himself for not understanding why you were so melancholic last night.
he tracks you down. uses all of his resources to scry on you, grease palms with the money the tower has. he's up all night for weeks. Cal and Lia worry about him but he is determined.
and find you he does. manages to locate where you're hiding out, a little hamlet in the middle of nowhere. you burst into tears when you see him, and he just pulls you into his arms.
"come home with me."
you do, moving into his tower. and you never leave him again.
Zevlor
immediately knows something is wrong. takes you to a quiet place where the two of you can be alone and talk things out.
discusses how he feels like being a failure for breaking his oath -- but you always saw past that. saw the goodness in his soul. he wishes you would treat yourself with that kindness.
you begin to cry, softly at first, and then with sobs which wrack your whole body. he holds you ever so tightly.
"I love you. you are not who you were. you have strived to be better every day, fought against your own family, and always chosen a righteous path. you deserve to be happy. I'd want to make you happy, if you'd let me."
eventually your tears run dry and you look up into his face. his eyes are so sincere. he means every word.
when you kiss him, it's a promise: that you're with him for good. that whatever comes next, it will be faced together.
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kookidough · 8 months
Text
AGRGAGRGAV i always ponder how alenoah reunion would go because like . it could go So many different ways
like how do they feel about each other now?? i always feel like after world tour is over, noah’s irritation would fizzle out and he’d be back to winning the idgaf war, accepting that in the end it was just a game and alejandro ended up playing better than him
alejandro’s feelings on the subject feel more complex to me like. does he accept the fact that, while noah’s words were harsh, they held some truth?? i view his reaction to noah talking behind his back as very telling of how close they were (despite the relatively short amount of time they spent together)
personally i think that pre-london they were close friends because they could match each other’s humour/wit, like how they laugh at tyler on the runway and when alejandro tells a mean-spirited joke regarding lindsay’s intelligence he tells it to noah, and Cmon guys, i know it was a team challenge but they still spent like 18 hours traversing the amazon together i just know they bonded during that!!! i wont even get into the fact that they’re always standing next to each other / hanging out in the background because i will be a pigeon pecking at crumbs and ive already gone off topic from the original reunion idea
anyway i think alejandro was mad because he thought he could consider noah a friend but he can see noah maybe doesnt feel the same way + hes a threat anyway soooo bye bye noah, question is would he hold a grudge over it and if yes then how long for
and what r they doing in their lives now when they meet again?? is alejandro still with heather or did that doomed relationship crash and burn (again)? is noah with emma or did things not work out after the race? and of course this differs depending on which world tour ending you’re going for, because is alejandro finally a winner or does his family still view him as the runner up they’ve always seen him as, second place silver in a robot suit, never quite good enough for gold (had to go off topic again, burromuerto family angst Gets Me)
would they miss the brief friendship they had? does noah ever meet a contestant on another one of him and owen’s reality shows and get a fleeting reminder of alejandro when they flirt or flash him a smile? does he get tired of no one else being on his wavelength and cast his mind back to that one boy that was? does alejandro ever turn on the tv and spot noah on one of those dumb shows?? and if he does what does he think?
ough i got off topic so many times i love thinking abt them in the future, they dont even have to reunite i also enjoy the bittersweet angst of right people wrong time/place… i think things would’ve been better for them if a million dollars wasn’t on the line
also i am not reading all this before i post it so if there are mistakes or it doesnt make sense then . pretend u didnt see it ^_^
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merlinfic · 16 days
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group ask for lost fics #45
Hi y’all! Below are a few lost fics that us mods just can’t seem to find. That being said, we’re hoping that you lovely followers are able to help! If anyone knows any of the fics below please reply below if you know of a fic!
Note: previous group asks and all lost fics!
Anon 1 asked:
I’ve looked for this particular fic for a long time now, but it was a modern day Christmas fic in which Merlin and Arthur are together and Uther disapproves <<>> I can’t quite remember specifics other then Arthur being jelly of Merlin dating someone else? Or something to that effect anyway long story short they wind up together in the end and Uther gets past his bias X’D I’m sad to see you guys go, but I’m so grateful for all the fic recs that have been left <33333
Anon 2 asked:
hi! thank you so much for all your hard work over the years and helping to keep this fandom alive, ive got a lost fic. i dont remember much but there was a noble of some kind who was mistreating servants and he tried to mistreat gwen and merlin stepped in for her and then arthur came to save the day. thank you !! <3
miraniel asked:
Combed all the tags I could think of & still can't find this fic, worried it's deleted: Merlin, Gwen & Gwaine r captured by bandits/minions looking for Emrys. Merlin casts a protection spell on Gwen before they're caught. Evil sorcerer tries to take Emrys's power by absorbing it into a (staff? crystal?) but absorbs Merlin's soul too. Rest of fic is about getting M's soul back in his body. At one point, he & Arthur share a body. I think Kilgarrah fixes them in the end. Ty SO much! Love this blog!
Anon 3 asked:
hello! do you perhaps know what fic those quotes are from? do you know how much i love you? do you know that i would do anything for you, anything at all? crown and kingdom and anything ever promised to me, i’d give it up, i’d give it all up—tell me, do you know? / and arthur loves him, he loves him so much that he fears his chest will splinter open and spill all of it into the space between them.
Anon 4 asked:
there was this fic i read some while back where merlin was a royal, and arthur and merlin were like bffs. i think arthur was the head knight?? there was a particular scene were merlin got a dragon tattoo on his back. i wonder if you might know which fic this is? thank u so much
the-tortoise-lady asked:
Hi :D I adore you people!! I'm looking for a fic set in Camelot, where Merlin is hurt (I think it was something with his leg? Not sure tho) and then Arthur spends a lot of time with Merlin, caring for him a bit? And there's one moment I remember when he's reading to Merlin and they're all cuddled up on some sort of sofa and there's a lot of emotions and feels? And fire in the fireplace? It's definitely Merlin/Arthur I think, I guess there also were some love confessions? I just sadly can't seem to find it.. I know that I read it on ao3 I hope you can find it (no pressure tho please!!) Lots of love and appreciation and a big thank u from me :)
Anon 5 asked:
Hi, I hope you have a nice day :) I've scoured the internet and also your page for this specific fanfic that I read a while back. Essentially Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic and holds him at swordpoint. They stand right next to a cliff and Merlin startles which makes him fall off. Merlin then discovers his own immortality, when he wakes up at the bottom of the cliff. But him being kept alive does not mean he is healed of his injuries. He puts himself back together for months down there if I remember correctly. The druids show up to help at a certain point I think. Please help me, I loved that fic so much :(
thelady-mary asked:
Hello, I just wanted to say that I'll miss this blog DEARLY and everything you guys did here, it means a lot to me, truly. Ok, so I've ADHD and I can't describe things for shit so I'll put the fanfic I'm looking for as a list. 1- it was some sort of 5+1 type, with multiple chapters, I remember that includes some jealousy and he knows about the magic. It was like Arthur was learning little things about Merlin that he started to love. 2- the things that he learn (and what I remember) was: Merlin's body hair grows really fast and he said that Gaius believe it was an outlet for his magic, they're traveling and M forgot his blade (the thingy that shaves beard) and he has this beautiful beard and long wavy hair by the end of the week, when they come back A is occupied with stuff and didn't saw M all day, but at the end he's back with short hair again saying that Gwen and George helped him with his chores so he could get a hair cut and shave; also A talks about how he recently learn that dyes are expensive and wants to know how M have such a colourful wardrobe and he says he only have two tunics because his mom helped a merchant out once and he gave her two pieces of fabric with she made the tunics and his neckerchiefs; Merlin knows how to write beautifully, calligraphy and all, M gets sick in this part and they communicate via little notes send it via George who told A that he was hesitaning into giving him M's note on the beginning because he thought it was improper, A keeps one that says "I believe in you" because he needs it emotionally; Merlin can compose music and he did compose and wrote an entire play (or just one song, I don't remember much), he dedicated one song to Arthur. 3- Arthur makes an announcement talking about love and union, looking directly at Merlin, hoping that he would understand that it was more or less about his feelings for him. 4- the song dedicated to Arthur it was about a Knight falling in love with his servant (and I believe running away with him, but don't quote me on that) 5- Arthur believes that the song is about Lance and Merlin's relationship, since is about a knight and not a King, and decided to go after him thinking his heart belongs to another. 6- Merlin confess that he wrote the song dedicated to him and ask what he thought about it, but Arthur is still under the wrong assumption and says that he liked the "song about the boat" better. 7- Merlin is devastated and I remember Arthur seeing him with Lancelot, with him giving him comfort 8- I don't remember how, but they confess to one another and have a little fight over the song part. And this is all I remember, I'm sorry if is really big or even impossible, but I'm desperate.
Anon 6 asked:
Hello! First of all, thank you for the years you've spent helping so many of us with finding fics, it really is very appreciated. Now, I've been wondering whether to ask or not for help with finding this fic for a while, but knowing you're going to soon close it up made me get over my shyness and just ask. The fic has Gwaine, Merlin and Arthur out doing... Something, and Merlin is forced to use his magic. Gwaine takes the fall, and Arthur banishes him to the nearby kingdom. I specifically remember Gwaine hugging Merlin and making him notice thar Arthur only drew out his sword after thinking it wasn't Merlin the sorcerer. The next part (I can't remember if it was a new chapter or a new part, sorry) has Arthur needing a sorcerer's help to decurse a land, I think, so the the knights of the round table all go to retrieve Gwaine. He and Merlin try to keep the lie up a bit, but then the truth comes out. That's all I remember, I hope it's enough. Thank you a
As always, this post will be updated if/when any fics are found!
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borderlinebox · 2 years
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Lose My Mind
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Summary: Sunato Banda had found his interest in you, a psychiatrist.
Pairing: Sunato Banda x Psychiatrist!Reader
Warning: AiB normalities, Urumi acting like she's manipulating you, a little bit botched jack of hearts cause I forgot how the game went, manipulation, deaths mention, not proofread!!
A/N: Apologies for taking a while to post!! Ive been busy lately with my university but Im slowly working my way through the requests!
Request from Wattpad: Can i request a psychiatrist reader x sunato banda please, I think it would be fun to see how they would interact :) take your time if u do decide to write btw <3
Feedback is highly appreciated!!!
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"Please put on the collar and proceed to the room upstairs."
The same ai voice rang through the small room you walked upon in. It was clear to you that the game must've included something about trust or a guessing game due to the looks of the collar. There was a small, circular display of a screen on the back of it.
You gulp before placing the collar onto your neck.
There was no going back now.
Feeling the light cold from the contraption, you made your way up the stairs and into a room full of other people just standing there. They all had the same collar as you.
For the time being, you decided to do what you do best; observe.
Back in the real world, you were a psychiatrist. Which meant you would study harsh behavioral disorders based on your diagnosis. You were relieved on how much your job had helped your ass during games like diamonds and hearts. It also allowed you to understand others and be able to adapt to their personality.
Maybe you wouldn't call yourself manipulative, but you definitely had the great advantage and ability to.
Your mind suddenly went blank when your eyes stopped and stared at a man from the other side of the room.
Sunato Banda.
Yes, you've heard bout him in the papers before, in the real world.
And then, it seemed like you had been staring at him for a bit too long and he seemed to take notice of your gaze. Banda started to stare back at you, as if he was observing you like you did him.
When you realized this, you quickly gathered back your surroundings and looked away from him.
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that he had interest in you. A dark interest.
As soon as everybody filled out the game's player registration, the big tv screen in front of them turned on - revealing a jack of hearts card.
Everyone listened intently to the game's instructions.
And confirming your earlier suspicions; this is a game of trust. You could already tell, straight off, that most of the players in this room would go off and lie when the option and possibility is given.
Then most of them had gone off in groups or pairs.
Currently for you, you needed to find somebody you could trust. So you needed to observe everybody else first. You're too unbelievably close to finishing off this game - you needed to survive.
That poor boy with his one eye hidden decided to pair up with Sunato.. And it seemed like Sunato had already established his superiority over him.
You looked off to the side and found a boy who seemed like he was having a breakdown every two seconds sitting next to white-hooded other. It was rather odd and unique that they were paired, considering the fact that one of them looked calm and collected and the other was wild and shaky.
You really did feel bad.
But you couldn't do anything about it.
You felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to reveal a girl in a blue lollita dress - It was the same lady who suggested going in groups.
"Hey, you seem like you need a team... Do you wanna join our group?" She smiled 'innocently'.
Hesitantly, you looked at the group behind her. They were all so desperate in leaving this place alive that they forgot how to work smarter. Some were shivering, some were talking over others..
"Yeah, sure." You accepted and gave her a quick smile.
You had to accept naturally, otherwise they may suspect you as the jack of hearts. And it was too early for you to die.
She smiled. "Wonderful! My name is Urumi, yours?"
"My name is-" You were cut off by somebody asking if they could join the group and it seemed like Urumi had quickly forgotten about you.
You exhaled through your nose in slight annoyance. Then you darted your eyes off to the side and found Banda watching you again. His newfound lacky had disappeared into the small cafeteria.
Eyes narrowing at him, you were about to go and interact with him, get some non-verbal information from him at least, until Urumi touched your shoulder again with her bright, fake childish smile.
"Why don't we go to the cafeteria?" She persuaded in exaggeration, like a kid convincing for their mom to buy a toy for them. "We can have a group meeting there."
It felt like you had caught the eye of many people, like they knew who you are and what you can do.
You certainly know that you've caught Banda's eye, and now this Urumi girl seemed to be the most friendliest to you.
However you knew better than to trust someone like her, but you needed to follow her instructions for now so you wouldn't raise any sort of suspicion. You had to give her the steering wheel for now.
"Sounds like a plan." You answered her, giving one last glance back at Sunato as she continued to drag you away from the main room to the cafeteria.
-
"You're a club!" Urumi chirped happily, and the group members behind her agreed on with her.
Truth. The cogs in your head told you.
You were sure they said the truth. You looked around and smiled thankfully, "Many thanks." Bow.
After a while, it was time to answer your suit. You made your way to the cell of your choice and waited until the bot's voice said any further instructions.
"Please answer your selected suit."
"Club."
3 - 2 - 1 - Ding! Congratulations, you didn't die.
You sighed in relief and dusted off some dirt of your clothes before leaving your small cell. You guessed nobody had died this round, it's too early for the Jack to start their attack.
You opened the cell and were greeted by everybody else around you, and you were right; no one died. Your group got together in the center hall, all bowing and thanking their fellow teammates.
All of you started to tell each other their symbols once again until that one big bully decided to cause a scene. It was no surprise to you though.
He started threatening and attacking the poor man he forced to team up with him, pushing the victim onto the ground as they cried.
Banda was quick to pick the pitiful man up. "Are you okay?"
That struck you as odd. Surely, it did surprise you.
But then he leaned down onto the crying man's ear and whispered something to him. Despite his back was facing you, it was awfully obvious that he had a plan.
Seeing that the game was a hearts, and it needed you to evaluate how much you can trust one another; you also guessed that Sunato told the guy to lie.
It was only inevitable.
When the attacker was about to strike again, he was stopped by his words.
"Club! You're.. a club.." he cried, begging him to not hurt him anymore.
What a sad display in front of you. But it was the duality seen in reality. Where the bigger people fight the weak just to show the dominance they have over them. But it is a world that you have accept. You looked down in shame - not for yourself but for the humanity you live with.
"Don't wait so long next time." The bully chuckled and left.
He walked by you and his collar was in fact, not a club. Nobody decided to tell, letting the foolish man fall into his inescapable death.
After that, slowly, people died. One by one. It started off with that half-witted man, then the man who lied and so forth, so on. And it was all because of Urumi with her suspicions.
It was clear as day that she liked manipulating people using her childish charms.
You were thinking on leaving the group as you sat on those cafeteria benches.. But how were you going to do it without seeming suspicious? Well, you had no choice but to start avoiding her or tell her right away. But maybe next round, there was 20 minutes left and you had just done that group meeting. Thankfully, they haven't lied yet, or else you would have some serious problems.
"Hey."
You know that voice. You could feel your breath hitching and your nervousness starting to rise, but you had to keep yourself composed. Don't show fear.
You turned around to face him, "Banda."
He smirked darkly at you - A smile you've seen a thousand times on people like him.
Banda made his way to sit in front of you. He had his interest piqued at the very moment he had his eyes on you at the start of the game. He knew you were way ahead of the rest. The way you narrowed your eyes at people you were reading.
It also felt like he knew about you way before this game. Dare I say; world.
"I've seen you eyeballing me every time you enter a room." Banda taunted as his small, creepy smile never went away.
"You act as if you don't do the same." You remarked. "I know who you really are, Sunato Banda."
He grinned at you. "Feisty, I like that about you. Putting up a wall so nobody would know what you really think of others."
You only blinked slowly at him. What was he trying to get on about? Why were you even talking to him anyway?
"You'd be surprised." You shrugged his way.
And why were you entertaining him?
"You know, you're group is starting to become extinct rats. What are you going to do when they all died off?" Banda started making a good point.
"What? Am I supposed to say I'll ask for your help?" You asked suspiciously, a little offended.
"What else are you going to do?" He chuckled, soon turning to a dark point. "Just so you know, you don't have to trust in me. I have a feeling that my partner isn't telling me the 100% truth - and when your group dies down, you'd have no one to turn to."
"What are you trying to say?" You knew exactly what he was going to say.
"Why not help each other out? I do you a favor, you do mine."
"And what if you're the jack?"
"What if you're the jack?" Banda played along with signature smile.
Your eyes narrowed at him, a little pissed off. Two can play at this game. "Fine then," You crossed your arms on the table, "Suppose my group does die, and I do listen to your advice - What do you suppose you would do with me after? It's not like I'll easily trust a serial killer."
Banda sneered while placing both of his palms on the table and leaned closer to you, all up in your face with a snarl, "Sometimes, you make me lose my mind."
You leaned closer, "Too bad you already lost it."
With that you chose to stand up from your place at the table, not daring to look back at him. You could already tell he was starting to break character and the real, angry psychopath was starting to show. The true darkness and power that a man like him can hold over their victim. It was already on display at the very first second of this match - everyone was just blind.
But, much to his surprise, you turned around a little, not a full turn where your whole face was visible. You gave him a somewhat sympathetic smile - hard to know if it was fake or not.
"But, I'll be keeping your offer in mind." You chimed before waltzing your way out of the cafeteria with a racing heart.
Did you seriously just back-talked a criminal? Yes, Yes you did.
While you were busy feeling a little bit confident of yourself, which is quite suspicious and yet wrong in a game like this, you didn't notice a pair of eyes watching your back with dubiety.
After another round of this jack of hearts game, it felt like none of them was getting a speck closer into finding out who the jack might be. You gathered with your groupmates once again, waiting for your turn.
"So, what's my symbol?" You asked, trusting them.
"You're a... spade!" Urumi smiled innocently as she swayed lightly, her blue dress flying around lightly. Hand fiddling with the pink pocky stick in her hand.
Lie. Your head told you.
Your eyes widen in shock and terror as you processed the doom that you were in. For the very first time, you were being told a lie in your group.
After what seemed like hesitating more than confirming, the only members left of the group nodded their head and agreed on the symbol. The way they confirmed it was so transparent, you could tell how much of a lie it was, just because their tone of voice and their faces were all so fake.
But you decided to play along.
"Thank you." You nodded.
It didn't take long for the group to disband again, going their separate ways.
You went your own, really separate way alright. You went to Banda, much to your very own disappointment with your so called team.
,
"So you decided to finally come to terms, hm?" Banda played as he followed the lines of the brick walls in the small room in a hallway nobody would really bother to check, especially with a people of this amount left. He was very cocky.
"I said what I said, and I keep my word." You recalled, leaning against the wall with folded hands as you watched Banda slowly come closer to you, his index finger still tracing the dusty old grout.
Eventually, he got closer to you that he was practically 2 inches apart from your figure.
"Sounds trustworthy." He replaced his index finger with his whole palm, up against the wall. "Now I trust you'll tell me the truth?"
"I'll tell the truth if you do the same. I think you know that I'm more than capable to tell the difference between a truth and a lie. No matter how good you are, everybody always have a tell." You didn't meet his eyes yet, you stared off blankly into space but you were very confident and were true to your word.
Banda grinned at you, it made you look at him with your own blank eyes. "No strings attached?"
"No strings attached." You echoed back. Both you and Banda had agreed that both of you wouldn't try to control the other, just simply telling each other's symbols until the end of the game. After all, both of you know how many colors manipulation comes in.
"Your symbol is a heart." He answered.
Truth..
You walked behind him and read his collar, "Spade."
Sunato smiled once more at you, he seemed to trust your words. His partner must've answered the same so it was somewhat of a 100 percent chance for him to be alive this round but you knew that it wasn't going to be the end just yet. Someone was bound to lie some time.
Both of you then made your way to that cell room of yours, watching Urumi walk into her own as she smiled so sweetly your way before walking in.
What a bitch, you thought.
"Please answer your selected suit."
"Heart."
It was correct... The doors unlocked as soon as you realized you had survived. One by one, you heard doors open from the outside. You had counted the amount of players that were left, walking in their cells, so determining how many doors would be opened, it would tell you how many players had survived.
Unfortunately, another player seemed to have passed away. But it wasn't to your surprise.
The real surprise that was about to ensue was to Urumi, who was very shocked and quite pissed off that you were still alive. She had guessed that you had somebody else to trust other than her.
The way she watched you as you walked pass her through the cafeteria was just so full of hatred.
But the real threat to her was her groupmates. Not only were they losing faith in her - she was starting to lose trust in them. It was bound to be a lose-lose situation that would never seem to find its solution.
And as another few rounds went by, your conclusion was true.
Everybody from your group had disappeared, all with their necks blown off in the cells they all last departed to before their certain deaths.
It was a pity for all of them to have died. They wouldn't have had to die if only they were good enough to each other and speak nothing but the truth. But alas, none of them could trust the other.
Each round, usually when Banda's partner was long gone and off to the food section by himself, you would meet up with Banda where nobody else could see and exchange answers of the symbol on your collar and some other information both of you had gathered in safety of the other in the game.
You had told Banda that you had to team up with the white hooded boy with bleached-blonde hair who was formerly in your group but started phase out with the other guy with the yellow shirt. Both of which, you learned their names were Chishiya and Ippei. In order for you to not look suspicious in front of everybody else who was alive.
You couldn't help but feel bad for that one Ippei guy. He really was too kind for this world. It made you wonder how he got this far. Too bad he stranded in the Jack of Hearts game.
Sunato understood your reasons. For a serial killer, he was quite smooth with his words and made very good points from time to time. He was surprisingly a good person to chat with and pass the time.
Both of you learned each others aspects of being a serial killer and a psychiatrist, often play small and few rounds of a guessing game to figure out what the other thinks about or do or anything along those lines.
That's until what seemed like the last round came.
You were with Chishiya but Ippei had sadly passed away. He really shouldn't have been here in the first place. He didn't deserve it. You had a sure feeling that Chishiya was trustworthy enough to go through with your plan of surviving and you hoped that he didn't see you as a threat as well.
There was no real point in lying to him anyways.
In these few rounds, you've noticed how intelligent and observant he really was. It seems like the only last few who were left were the ones who stayed quiet and listened instead of going around and assuming others.
Both of you were sure that the jack was going to make the move.
Anyways, despite the fact you were with Chishiya, he told you not to tell him his symbol yet in order to get some answers from the people he seemed to suspect.
And as the plan went on smoothly, when everybody was gone from the small food section, you told each other your symbols and parted ways. You promised Banda that you'd meet up one last time in the same small room down the hallway.
"About time you showed up, I've been waiting here for 5 minutes." Banda turned around to you.
"And that's all the time it took for you to start losing your head up your ass, huh?" You teased back with unamused eyes.
He didn't really like that so he narrowed his eyes at you. Something he took from you, due to your little habit. "What happened?"
"Nothing much. I just had to do a plan with that Chishiya guy. Really helpful. You?"
"I also teamed up with another guy. Similar to ours. We both believe that we have many things in common." He answered willfully, everything coming out of his mouth was the truth.
It honestly stunned you, the fact hoe he actually was telling the truth about every word he tells you. You were just expecting more unsuspecting and cocky lies, same to everybody who had currently died at this game. Instead, you were met with a man who wanted to survive as much as you do. Maybe even as manipulative as you if you were.
"Reasonable. How sure are you that the guy you're with is the jack of hearts?" You asked.
"I mean considering the fact that you can tell the difference between a truth and a lie, shouldn't you know?" Banda sassed back at you, tilting his head with delight.
"I can tell the difference between a trustworthy prick and ally as well." You smiled at him exaggeratingly. You knew why he suspected his partner already but it couldn't hurt to know if your secret teammate knew why as well.
"When I said he was transparent from the start, I really meant it. He's clearly trying to act as if I have him under my control. The way he doesn't know the way I truly see him when he doesn't have a clue." Your partner says, all in the truth.
"Fair." You answered him. "I hate to say this for once but, hope you end up till end, Sunato. Just so you know, I really am saying the truth."
He nodded towards you before leaving the room first, never to be seen until the results of the last round.
Something tells you that you weren't the only one who felt and read the tension you had between the both of you. A deeper and more twisted and maybe even forbidden kind of tension. But it was the thing both of you had. But you couldn't say anything about it.
As the last few game matchers stepped into the last room of potential death, it took them almost a minute to find out who had won.
You answered your suit and you were more than relieved that your symbol was right and that you were ready to feel actual ground again and breath after this game. You could hear some laughter from outside, near your cell.
But despite trying to sound all so serious, you chuckled at his laugh. The jack was just right next door to you. How stupid.
One by one, you and the last other 3 players revealed yourselves to be alive as you told the jack of your clever plans and how much all of you had outsmarted him.
And in the end, before Sunato and that Yaba guy left into the cell to start their work, the last thing you saw was Banda's wink.
"We shall meet again, princess."
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mirixmoya · 3 months
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hello friends welcome to GRADING TORTURED POET SOCIETY SONGS BASED ON HOW EASILY I COULD TURN THEM INTO A HAYFFIE FIC (PART TWO) i hope u enjoy.
(you can find PART ONE here, for anyone interested!)
i. the black dog: 8/10. excellent directly-post-war hayffie song. captures a moment when they haven't quite re-connected yet, but they're both dying without eachother. "my longings stay unspoken, and i may never open up the way i did for you" "six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke" is all very them. a really effective illustration of how the world feels like a different place in heartbreak, it's desolate and aching, which is all very very hayffie.
ii. imgonnagetyouback: 9/10. this song is bananas crazy, but so is effie. so it fits. it reeks of the turbulent, on-again-off-again, boundaryless, situationship parts of hayffie. once again, i think this could be a VERY good directly-post-war vibe. "i can tell when somebody still wants me" "you'll find that you were never not mine" "even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you" are all crazy thought processes which i can 100% imagine effie having.
iii. the albatross: 7/10. i know everyone is really stuck on this being a lucy gray / katniss / snow parallel song, but i see the hayffie vision! i think it would be a good song to juxtapose all of effie's relationships with capitol men against her relationship with haymitch. how is she made to behave by love? how does her fame + position loom over her relationships? effie is mythologized by the men in her life, almost made unreal by their perceptions of her, and it's haymitch who makes her real again. if any of that makes sense.
iv. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: 8/10. EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE, but i have this vision of really angsty post-canon hayffie where they try to make a proper relationship work, they really do, but they just... can't. but there is an ache to this failure. a regret. they thought that they would always be able to come back to this, to eachother, but they discover that life is actually a series of closed doors. things change over time. they're forced to grieve this past version of their relationship that they simply don't have access to anymore. "you turned me into an idea of sorts, you needed me but you needed drugs (ALCOHOL) more" "could it be enough to just float in your orbit?" "if you want to break my cold, cold heart, say you loved me" ... yeah, the angst potential is endless.
v: how did it end?: 7/10. ONCE AGAIN, excellent bones for an angsty post-canon 'well, it didn't work out' hayffie vibe. good general thg imagery with "lost the game of chance, what are the chances?" + "the empathetic hunger descends" etc etc. "we were blind to unforeseen circumstances" very very them.
vi: so high school: 5/10. i feel like i could twist it to be hayffie if i tried really hard. like maybe a post-canon movie-verse traumaless fluff vibe where everything just falls into place. "no one's ever had me, not like you" is a very good line for hayffie tho.
vii: i hate it here: 8/10. excellent potential for a pre-canon / during-canon hayffie where effie uses their relationship as her refuge from the rest of the world, it's the only place she can truly be herself. the precocious child stuff, the debutant stuff, "i'm lonely but i'm good, i'm bitter but i swear i'm fine", all feels veryyy effie. this song would also be a good framework for effie being incapable of articulating her relationship with haymitch to other people, the magic of it is lost on them, it comes out clunky and awkward. but SHE knows it's real.
viii: thanK you aIMee: 2/10. not a hayffie song. but i feel like i could make it about effie & The Other Escorts if i really tried.
ix: i look in people's windows: 6/10. listen, this album is just an post-canon hayffie gold mine. "i had died the tiniest death" (the war) "i'm afflicted by the not knowing" (her relationship with haymitch) "what if your eyes looked up and met mine, one more time" (they can try again, can't they?). the anxious, almost neurotic ruminating is very effie to me.
x. the prophecy: 10/10. THE HAYFFIE SONG! if you saw the twitter edit before it got taken down, you KNOW. "don't want money, just someone who wants my company" "i'm so afraid i've sealed by fate" ... devastating. i think the illusions to prophecy & fate & this lack of control all play into her role in The Games really well. the idea that she's being punished for her sins by this lack of love. so much of effie is controlled and precise, i think the fact that this one thing (her relationship with haymitch) is sooo out of her control would drive her insane. perhaps insane enough to beg on her knees...
xi. cassandra: 4/10. not really hayffie focused, but good potential for one of my more politically focused fics. maybe the year of the 75th, leading right up to the rebellion. cinna & portia strike me as very cassandra-coded.
xii. peter: 1/10. not hayffie. maybe seneca & effie relationship study, but def not hayffie.
xiii. the bolter: 10/10. PERFECT EFFIE SONG! NO NOTES! SHE IS THE BOLTER! a precocious child with a "quite bewitching face" who is "splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless"??? welcome back effie trinket! the chorus is very hayffie to me. i'm thinking pre-canon early affair vibes. we get all the fun contrast between her relationship with haymitch and her relationship with the capitol "trophy hunters". the bridge could not be more effie if it tried, "hearts are hers for the breaking, there's an escape in escaping". she falls through the ice (the war) but don't worry folks, she comes out alive!
xiv. robin: 0/10. i genuinely have no idea what i could do with this song. sorry.
xv. the manuscript: 3/10. potential for post-canon living-happily-ever-after hayffie but with effie reflecting on her past relationships with capitol men. there's lots of illusions to grooming and the imprint that age-gap relationships leave behind that i think could really work.
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sonikkublue · 5 months
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important, plz read
i wanna address sum things, stuff i should've addressed a long time ago when i started to get popular, which i dont ever pay attention too- so its like a truck hitting me w/ that kind of info or smth like that. And by all means im very grateful for every piece of love n support, big or small, but there has been 2 things thats been buggin me for a long long time
fetishes.
right off the bat, i first want to address Mr. H and only *few* of the ppl that have come across him. fetish ppl. plz, like actually fucking plz stop bein so weird abt his body, askin me things relatin that *are*/or *obviously* weird and fetishy. Mr. H's body and his character entirely is not for ur sick fat fetish. i have stated this multiple times on my twitter but not here until now. its fucking weird. stop. i cannot stress that enough.
my popularity
2nd off, i wanna address how sum of the ppl who are fans of my work, smth ive never expected, is on how they approach me- well more so how they view me actually.
i srsly am thankful for every bit of support, even if im a bit slow realizing how fast it was happenin. u can love my art, gush over it, feel however u want abt it- but i dont want ppl viewing me as someone like an idol. ive never strived for popularity, i just like postin funni things and then go eat and play Sonic games after. no matter how big the numbers get, i do not want to be titled "popular" or like sum grand person- i just like to chill out like everyone else online and post art for the funnis. i will say u can look up to me and stuffs, but dont treat me someone higher than anyone else ig is what im tryna say
ive had a friend who was jealous of me in the past cuz of this, we're not friends anymore for more personal reasons, too many, but they would keep bringin it up and tell me to use my platform cuz of how many followers i have, and its always made me uncomfy. i wanna say that they were somewhat ungrateful if *every* post they made didnt hit off, but its whatever to me. i dont want my friends to be jealous of me, i dont wanna make anyone jealous.
but i dont want smth like this or anything stop someone from interacting w/ me. i love u guys and the funni interactions i get
i think thats all i had, thx for readin, i love yall
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esse-lunam · 5 months
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an introduction to: my 90s fame dr!
please read this god please there's art in here also ive put 5+ months of work into this dr at this point so i swear that there's interesting shit in here yall I SWEAR I AM NICHE.
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reblogs greatly appreciated! this took me forever teehee
ohhh my god this is a long time in the making, ive put this off for so, so long and i really couldn't tell you why. this can act as a script me into ur dr post if you like as well!
for starters, you can find my pinterest board for this dr here :3 just in case u want some cool visuals i guess :3
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so lets get the basics outta the way shall we?
full name: marley jo veitch
nicknames: mar, marley barley, mars bars, tink (reserved for s/o), living poet (public figure nickname type deal? yknow how stevie nicks gets called the white witch? yeah that)
pronouns: they/she
DOB: june 1st, 1970 (which makes me a gemini btw!)
occupation: musician (piano, violin, guitar n bass, some drums, and saxophone), poet, author (fiction and nonfiction), actor on occasion, also a comedian that one time
skills: all things music + writing basically, film analysis, pop culture analysis i guess, home decor, drawing, fashion?, and being the most autistic person in the multiverse
appearance stats: 5'3", 145ish lbs, long brownish-reddish hair with some light brown highlights in there, sorta wavy but barely
body mods: COVERED in tats (theres a tattoo section on the pinterest board but i also drew some so), septum piercing, snake bites, and a fair few ear piercings. and also i have glasses but thats not a body mod thats just a thing on my body.
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"workin and workin't? you have a job?" more on that later!
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relationships and such! with photos!
s/o: robert sean leonard
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"hey, do i recognise this guy?" you might! he played notable roles such as neil perry in dead poet's society, claudio in much ado about nothing, and james wilson in house md!
best friends: dylan kussman, allelon ruggiero, alexandra powers, and kimya dawson
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"do i recognise more of these people?" again, probably! dylan, al, and alex were all in dead poets society, and kimya is a musician best known for her indie songs, some featured in the movie juno!
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my career! (oh good lord)
writing based - undedicated musings
(1986-1993)
alright so this is a bit hard to explain, bear with me. undedicated musings is an anonymous newsletter-based poetry... publication? run by me, under the pen name 'chartreuse', and the whole shtick is that i write poetry, love letters, and whatever else to the person i'll end up spending my life with, but the recipient of said writings is completely unknown, even to me, so im kinda just writing to nobody. until! i actually set my eyes on someone (obviously rsl) and then the writings start to get a bit more specific and yearn-y and personal. since the recipient is anonymous, all the writings are written for a 'vermillion'. both chartreuse and vermillion's identities are revealed when we get married in 1993. and no, rsl doesn't know that i'm chartreuse, nobody does until i reveal myself. i think its kinda cool :3
film based - dead poet's society
(1988-1989)
so for starters, i was part of the crew that worked on the set of dead poets society, now all my friends (except kimya, her and i become friends in the late 90s) make sense! my actual job on set is kind of a vague be-here-and-do-a-bit-of-everything type deal, so there's no set title beyond "assistant to lead" even tho it's essentially government assigned 'friendship' LMAO. but! me and the cast get on like a house on fire, so i kinda just get to tag along on their wacky teenage-ish boy adventures. this totally does not stem from a desire to be part of a teenage boy friend group, and i am, in fact, totally cisgender. i am also lying. anyway, without going into too much detail, me and my s/o-not-yet-s/o (will be referring to him as rsl from this point on) sorta have a painstakingly long will they wont they type deal, because i guess i like torturing myself. we meet a day before all the actual film stuff starts just as a sort of preliminary get to know eachother because you'll be in close proximity VERY often for months. thats some time in march - june-ish? of 1988 (i shift to my dr the day before!) and we don't actually get together until june of 1989. so.
also! some changes to the movie because i can make those: knox overstreet is now played by matthew lillard instead of josh charles, because josh charles is a fucking zionist and i dont want to associate with him in any reality! knox also isnt a b plot to the movie at all, instead focusing on meeks and pitts because i find them much more interesting! and also knox's b plot is creepy as hell! also, the racism against natives (read this!) is completely gone! no thanks!
music based - MAURZI
(1988-2004 technically)
strap in boys because this is the main event of this dr and the lore is VAST. MAURZI (must be spelled in all caps, like MF DOOM) is a sort of musical person/character i've made to tell the story of via a series of albums. i release my first single in october of 1988 titled "lunarian", which is a fun little song about a being from the moon arriving on earth and having some inter-planetary culture shock. and thats the only song i've actually planned! i release 6 total albums that map out the MAURZI storyline kinda
- MAURZI (1989)
- GONE TO SHIT! (1991)
- Charmed (1992)
- I found Him in Santa Barbara (1995)
- Waterworks (1998)
- also bibliography (2004) but those are released as songs By Me and not MAURZI, just released under the same artist. MAURZI storyline ends with Waterworks.
now here's where you get the very extensive MAURZI lore. MAURZI is a sort of alternate-universe representation of me, where in i'm much more famous than i actually am in my dr, and i am absolutely RUINED by my fame in a fuck ton of ways. each album is a different section of her life so i'll explain it album by album. also for reference, in my dr capitalism/ currency isnt a thing, but in the MAURZI... verse? it is. because i like anti capitalist art! same goes for most other media im in/ participate in, actually. MAURZI uses she/her pronouns btw, i dont.
MAURZI - my self-titled album is about as close and personal to my life as i'll get, which an average amount because i still throw in some songs about shit that i have not at all done/ experienced. (ex. songs about cheating, toxic relationships, and things along those lines. thankfully ive had a mostly healthy relationship with relationships! except that one time!) MAURZI is new to the music scene but she's here to make some lovely tunes to help process some stuff! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sarah kinsley, dodie, jeff buckley, tv girl, mitski, and peach pit.
GONE TO SHIT! - MAURZI's first album blew the fuck up! now she's thrown into the midst of dealing with an incomprehensible amount of attention on her at all times, which she was absolutely not prepared for. what does she do to cope? sex drugs and rock n roll, baby! she also gets addicted to 2 outta those 3 things! can you guess which ones?? now, obviously, this album is entirely fictional and is only tangentially inspired by some life events, heavy emphasis on the tangentially. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the nonstick pans, panic! at the disco, forest, david bowie, chappel roan, and king gizzard & the lizard wizard.
Charmed - the love song album! this is basically comprised of songs i sorta wrote about rsl, but changed up a fuck ton because i wrote them while i was pining and did Not want him to knkw who they were about. in terms of MAURZI stuff, she meets someone just after deciding that she's gotta clean up her act if she wants to exist healthily. recovering alongside a loved one and them being a motivator for recovery! now i should specify here that MAURZI's s/o is not the same as mine, and is entirely gender neutral/ doesn't even have a canon(?) human appearance at all. they're named Vermillion because we love a callback! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, james blake, queen, laufey, and her's.
I found Him in Santa Barbara - yknow how when a banana ripens too much and it starts to tuen brown? yeah imagine that logic but applied to recovery, i guess. NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REITERATE THAT MAURZI AND I ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND MAURZI IS JUST A CHARACTER. essentially MAURZI had a spiritual awakening and "found god." but what that ACTUALLY means is that she started viewing vermillion as a sort of god? but she's keeping it on the down low (making an album about it) because she doesn't want vermillion to thing she's CRINGE. themes of loving a god, being IN love with a god, being in lust with a god, temporarily thinking youre a god? stuff along those lines. its a bit intense, VERY experimental and.. heavy? both in themes and in musical style for some portions. this is my fav album out of all of them if you couldnt tell. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sleep token, WILLOW, type o negative, slipknot, lemon demon (specifically songs off spirit phone), hozier, violent vira, pierce the veil, gorillaz kinda, bjork, kate bush, deftones, destroy boys, and rammstein probably.
Waterworks - so yknow how MAURZI was having a whole trouble with god moment? yeah well thats gone now, no i haven't figured out how that'll work narratively, thats for me to figure out in like 10 years from now (now being 1988, naturally.) we've returned to our self-titled roots in terms of musical style! now we've just got some fun themes of trauma and such! and then that's the and of MAURZI as a character story wise, as i said earlier the album after this one is just a Me album. same artist inspo as self titled!
and guess what! music lore isnt even fuckin done! my music in this dr is a multiverse in itself goddamn. so basically the album covers for each album tell a completely seperate story about a completely seperate alter ego/ character/ whatever named Moonzi. name given by my audience (which is my excuse for coming up with such a shitty name and then keeping it.) the story of moonzi, without going into too much detail because i dont wanna type it all out, is a sci-fi type story about a being from the moon (lunarian callback!) on a quest to bring this space artifact back to its original place, basically. a bit more on it later, emphasis on a bit. also! each album cover is drawn by a different artist, and each album artist animates one official music video off their respective album, just cuz i like art and stuff! those music videos kinda follow the moonzi storyline loosely, but incorporate MAURZI elements. is this confusing? hope not. drawings!
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writing based - novels
can you believe im still not done? like not even close? certified yapper. anyway! my 3 fiction novels (Manchester, NH - 1991, Curator Rye, 1997, Sand Dollars + Pearls - 2008) are about my ocs basically! thats it really, i dont feel the need to share the plots of those tbh.
writing based - autobiographies
two? yep! one is a fictional autobiography about MAURZI (MAURZI - 1999) and one is a non fictional autobiography about me (Radio Free Marley - 2012.) take a shot every time i say MAURZI and you will need to get your stomach pumped. she just. she means a lot to me :3
film based - doctor who
(1994-1999)*
*these dates are when im on the show btw, not its total runtime, same applies to other cr existing shows.
big disclaimer: never seen doctor who. dont know the plot, dont know which doctor i'm gonna be, i just wanna be in it.
so! my version of the doctor is kinda weird. its one doctor, but played by two people, but theyre one person. we're both the doctor. and by we i mean both me and rsl, obviously. the viewer sees the doctor as two different people, but NOBODY ELSE IN THE DAMN SHOW besides our little companion buddy guy (played by my cr friend fish!) SEES, ACKNOWLEDGES, OR IS ABLE TO VIEW THE DOCTOR AS TWO PEOPLE. its really complicated and i really did not have to make it that way, but its cool to me so i really dont care. also we're breakjng the doctor who cycle of boring suit and tie (this is NOT about you 15 <3) and going steampunk-esque. again, cuz i wanna.
film based - house md
(2005 - 2010)
marley veitch be in a show without rsl challenge (failed.) i play a character i made up named Nanette Amesbury who is essentially wilson's first ex wife. does he have a canon first ex wife? think so (i actually havent finished house oops.) do i care? you can take a guess. nanette (nicknamed ninny - which im well aware means dumb) is the director of the pediatrics department at princeton plainsboro and she kinda has a fwb type deal with wilson before figuring out shes a lesbian, having a crush on cuddy, being besties with kutner, then leaving the show in season 6. (zeth if ur reading this yes i made her show up for more than 2 seconds she just. means so much to me. also i want cudbury content.) im also a writer for the show so im there for its entire run time :3 i really like this show :3
film based - moonzi
(2016)
YEAHHHHH BABY SHES BACK!!! moonzi's storyline gets adapted into an adult swim animated tv show! i do screenwriting, stiryboarding, and voice acting! style wise, think teen titans mixed with bojack horseman mixed with archer. sick space visuals also!
comedy based - dying art
(2020)
idk i wanted to do a standup special! dunno what it's about. ill leave that up to future me to decide because this isn't happening for 32 damn years and i really just dont wanna come up with a standup special rn.
film based - radio free marley
(whenever)
i wanted a biopic, but i wanted it to be both about me and MAURZI, and how points in my life influenced or inspire songwriting. so the episode structure is like
ep 1: about me, point in my life
ep 2: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 1
ep 3: about me, point in my life
ep 4: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 3
ep 5: you get the idea
and then this goes on for 12 episodes and ends with the MAURZI story wrapping up and with me sorta retiring kinda. dont know when it'll be made, probably at some point in my 60s or whatever. im permashifting if you couldnt tell btw.
and thats it! after all this im just kinda existing and living life and whatever else. so with that outta the way i'll list some fun facts and i'll FINALLY BE DONE JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR LIKE 3 HOURS.
- i live in new york city! manhattan to be specific
- i also have a lake house in new hampshire because i Need to be in a rural area at some points
- my house's interior design is very 70s themed and its WHIMSICAL AND FUN! maximalism, whimsigoth, nooks and crannys to be in, fun and varied seating options, conversation pit, loft bedroom, whole 9 yards. ive also got a gazebo on my roof!
- i have 2 siblings in my dr (not here im an only child in my cr womp womp) named lia and monty, theyre my best friends in my cr!
- ive also got a cat! she's a ragdoll kitty named yvonne, shes a sweetheart!
- i scripted out light pollution so the sky is all pretty at night, highly recommend you do the same
- im in STOMP at one point, dont know or care when, i just wanna be in it
- robin williams........... he is a father figure to me................ sniff sob
- yes i scripted out his death i simply cannot deal with that
- PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND WALKABLE SOCIETY!!!!! NO MORE CAR BASED US SOCIEY WOOOO!!!
- i cant fucking believe i havent mentioned this yet but im scottish?? im not scottish in my cr i was just thinking about david tennant when i was forming the dr idea back in january and it stuck. MAURZI is american tho
- hilson is canon in my dr LMAOAOOA
- thats all i got
sweet lord in heaven above if you've read this whole thing im giving u a big kiss. this is so long and i really dont wanna proofread it so im not gonna, excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.
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