#ive watched so many moments of it? them?
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I cant stop thinking about this piece of srt
the best part of a coilhead killing you and moving to the next person is situations like this
#ive not got the chance to play LC#but coil head is my fav#just bcuz of this#ive watched so many moments of it? them?#and the terror and excitement and joy is unbelievable#but also yada yada something about being glad that art is so widespread and accessible snd there's so much of it my eyes will always be plea#pleased
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I wanna be adolin themed again :( I love him :( I miss him
On one hand I wanna finish wind and truth (265 pages left!) and pick an adolin url based on something from the book. On the other hand. Adolin url rn.
#jasper rambles#stormlight archive#adolin#adolin kholin#formerly adolin-is-best-boy but TBH. not enough. ive been waxing poetic about adolin for DAYS i adore this man and his story#something something seemingly being the 'perfect' older sibling who fills the child roles assigned by parents and others but actually#strains against them even if they respect the people around them. protecting their sibling but watching them grow up to be okay without you.#wanting to love every person everywhere and doing your best to. struggling to accept your own place in the world because everyone around yo#seems so incredible. you adore them nd you feel obsolete in the same moment. the people around you could live without you. surely#maybe i need to listen to what ive been saying to adolin for myself. adolin ISNT obsolete in the face of fused and radiants. he repeatedly#saves lives and helps people no matter what. he cares and he does everything he can and doesnt realize just how much he accomplishes in that#he has saved so many of his loved ones lives‚ not all in physical battles‚ but hes saved them nonetheless#yeah. maybe i should apply that to myself more#anyway#night night
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as we steamroll right past the gukgak introspection plotline i wish all rizheads a very we can pull through this
#ah well the fates said it is what it is no biggie…#i said as i chew dry wall on so many good rolls that bypassed narrative importance#fh#d20#fhjy#mimi.txt#doesnt mean i didnt love this episode tho#possibly the most engaging battle episode ive watch#love the mechanics#AND I LOVED ALL THE MOMENTS i wont detail here bc ik buttons is reading this#but man in a better world it wouldve been 2 hours+…#but narratively speaking i think its so joever <- dramatic#baronheads its so joever#also this is aphobic <- DEEP J#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#pure evil of them to tease us with the beautiful baron figurines. painful. painful. painful
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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very sad this morning seeing Ryan and Shane leaving youtube to start yet another exclusive subscription service :/
#this is a monumentally shitty idea#then entire comment section is UNIFIED ive never seen that before akfjsks#i had to say that early accessing like cc makers do here would have been way better#but now at this point the damage is done and a lot of people feel disappointed that they seem to care more about the money#and honestly i dont think they produce enough content to justify a whole new service#i love the mcelroys way more and what they do is so much better#youtube already has a built in tier sevice why cant they just do that???#anyway i have so many thoughts on this#i honestly watched ryan and shane way more than when they were on buzzfeed#i watched for their dynamic and how fucking funny they are together not for the quality of the shows#so many people do not understand that people watch them for them not for high value production is#first matpat then jacksepticeye soon and now this :/#im DREADING the day gab smolders inevitability retires because shes my comfort youtuber she and her content has gotten me#through some of my worst moments#ill shut up now#someone tell me how many dislikes their announcement has on yt im so curious akfkska#oh also and its like dont they get their fanbase is mostly young people who probably cant afford another streaming service#on top of bills and the cost of living now??
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The tragedy that is the majority of viewers not catching onto the fact that Gamora had tons of internal cybernetics and an entirely replaced skeletal system when those are the only things that will remain long after she's gone.
#lex thoughts#universe: mcu#gotg thoughts#ive seen many people assume the silver markings were just. weird alien makeup and not the metal poking out of her skull#but granted i can't really blame them when the only mentions of the internal stuff being a quick aside during the briefing on Xandar#but. i still think about it and how it never really got brought up. almost as if it didn't matter because it was all mainly on the inside.#odd and offputting.#especially when it was always made a point to highlight the cruelty of involuntary body modification enacted on Nebula and (mainly) Rocket#bummer moment sorry i just can't get over vol 3 and watching everyone try to cover up her death as if it didn't happen#and that meaning they didn't go to Vormir so they'd be able to give her a funeral nor do they even seem very bothered by that.#very sad and depressing when yondu was allowed one and appearance beyond the grave multiple times but gamora..? Denied.#i also dislike OG Groot becoming nonexistent to the team post Vol 1 so i guess you could say the precedent had been set. but#even rocket buried a piece of him in that planter.#i wouldn't want to be a bunch of metal bones rattling around but i guess you don't always get a choice#and Gunn's tweet that he did think to include OG Groot and Yondu in Rocket's afterlife scene. but very specifically left out Gamora. sigh.
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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going insane (again) i have an exam in three days and i wanted to start studying and i went through everything we need to know in an hour. AN HOUR. pathetic excuse of a class holy shit
#how do i 'study and dont go on tumblr' in these conditions#also (complaints incoming lmao sorry) this is for the statistics stuff again and they dont give us any extra exercises than the ones we had#to do for the graded tasks so like. cool. ive got 7 exercises i can use to practice and ive already done all of them and after ive done-#them again i will know all the answers so i cant redo them. great! this is how you teach a practical class yes thanks professor :))))#i can go on about this shit show of a class forever im sorry we didnt even have classes where they explained stuff we had to watch-#videos from the pandemic! which would be fine if the software we have to use wouldnt have had seven updates in the last years! we got-#feedback moments every other week *after* we had to turn in the assignment that *might* be graded for a bonus point (which i did get!-#take that!!) but like. oh you didnt understand the complicated stuff we never really explained? you can ask after youve been graded on the-#stuff you turned in - which is NOTHING because you didnt understand the first question because it was bullshit!#my friend was very funny i gotta admit because she very sweetly called the professor over and went im sorry sir :( but i couldnt turn it in#this time :( i really didnt understand the questions and the videos we got werent enough and the handbook didnt explain it any further-#either and i wanted to practice a bit before doing the POSSIBLY GRADED assignment but it seems there are no other exercises we could use-#will there be some in the coming weeks? because i just dont understand it with the very limited amount offered :((#and my professor got VERY awkward lmao because it turned out that this assignment was the one he graded because it was the hardest :) and-#many people didnt understand it so only 34 people out of the 170 taking the class got their bonus point :)) this is fine :)))))#snail speaks
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'PAUL SIMON: IN CONCERT'
Paul Simon live at the Tower theatre, Philadelphia, October 7th 1980 CED videodisk
#ive never seen this before the cover art is so good!!!#“happy birthday?? its not my birthday!!”#this concert is so good I watch it so often#so many moments of paul being Extra#as usual#paul simon#simon and garfunkel#simon & garfunkel#s&g#love that we've universally decided as a fandom that they both get tagged no matter what#thems the rules#paul simon 80s
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it's still sooo funny to me how the party is fighting for their lives in the astral prism and shadowheart is just having her magical girl transformation somewhere out there. lynn jaheira wyll and gale having a few breakdowns while shadowheart is dying her hair for emo reasons. astarion probably helping her
#playing bg3#lynn is half illithid now guys yeahhh 👍#i wanted to try this path but my tool bar is literally dead. so many actions and spells and stuff#and illithid powers etc#but it will be fun. lynn is literally doing Such a bad job at trying to be a hero my poor babygirl...#so many things wrong with them... yet they keep trying to be good#this is why the wyllmance works#although the 'well met' greeting is absolutely killing me. can you guys hurry up w the patch for this particular reason pls#also due to meta reasons i gave up on the necromancer multiclass yesterday. it became unmanageable for my ass#my tool bar is already dead pleaseeee#i will always have the thay book that's what matters... im sorry wwx#also really not at all struggling w tactician lately so. not going crazy w the multiclassing for now#didnt even do the gloom stalker rogue thing this time (although it's been some time i have him in my party 😔😔😔)#(which is absolutely unbelievable but ive playing so scarcely and slowly lmfao#i had a moment in mind where i would switch my party but i still couldnt make it to that point ;;;;;#bc im progressing saurrrrr slowly :< i miss him dearly i watch his videos every day#which is embarrassing but it's the truth. can't live w/o that bitch at this point in my life)#also realizing if i wanna squeeze 1 more playthrough this summer i gotta hurry the fuck up#and stop playing this scarcely/slowly lol#but also realizing it's so Hard for me to play fast like i physically have to loot everything and read everything and do everything. ugh#anyway. we will see
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"this house is so full of ghost activity!!"
the house:
#my post#im still on my skeptic shit#ill never stop being on it#these people really go into houses and buildings that are at least 100 years old and go 'wow! theres so many noises!'#or 'the temperature just dropped holy shit'#or 'woah why is this thing swaying lightly on its own!/this item shifted!'#as if old buildings arent made the way they were back then and also as if they werent heavily used by the time this happens lol#'listen to this recording! it sounds like [word or phrase!]' the recording in question: [see image]#sometimes i can KINDA hear what they hear but if i dont see what word they think it was. it literally sounds like a shuffle or wind or like#someone maybe just breathing slightly too loud LOL#i will say that the latest ghost investigation video i watched did have one of these that did sound like a person talking more than like#almost every other example ive ever heard. but get this: i still think it was fake#because tbh. i still think they faked a few things in that video to make it more interesting. and it was just a whisper so#so it didnt sound like a particular voice. it just sounded like anyone whispering#and couldve been said by one of them or edited in later#cause iirc they didnt react to it in the moment. only in editing#sooo anywayyy
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I feel like this clip from the podium deserves to be posted in full
#THEY'RE SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE I CANT I CANT#NANDO IS HIS BOY THATS LITERALLY HIS BOY!!!!#LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM!!!#ive seen some pics from this podium i think but nothing can live up to the full clip in entirety#like theres just so many things that make me wanna sob and yell into my pillow#tho actually it did in fact make me legit squeal and roll around on my bed when i first watched it#them!!!! them!!!!!!!!!! <33333#the way he keeps indulging nando and the way theyre so affectionate its really just unbearably adorable to me#fernando alonso#fa14#flavio briatore#2005 chinese gp#2005 chinese grand prix#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#no sound sry lol but i dont think it wouldve added anything anyways so its okie!#also kinda wanna make a comp of pictures from this race maybe??? theres just so many cute moments w renault so yeah might make that soon#ralf schumacher#kimi räikkönen#kimi raikkonen
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i hate the binge model actually. its one thing for me to sit down and, of my own volition, watch 8 hours worth of television on my day off but having shows drop half or whole seasons in a single day and then being expected to have watched them in their entirety in that first 24 hours if you dont want to be spoiled everywhere you look is just insane
#more personal rant in the tags#so i have 2 jobs and one of them is writing like i dont get paid much but i do get paid#but it comes with this expectation that i am watching EVERYTHING the moment it comes out#qnd i can keep up with a lot#but like wheel of time just started s2 qnd they dropped 3 hour long episodes the first day#and babe i just dk not have the time to watch all 3 on top of the many other shows im already keeping up with#i watched all of heartstopper s2 in a day qnd couldnt even enjoy it cause it felt like qn obligation#obviously it being work influences how i engage w it but ive had a TON of fun writing about shows that didnt stress me out#idk im just tired i liked the breathing room and the hype that came with weekly releases if they wanna be cable 2.0 anyway#might as well bring back some of the good stuff and not just the shit#shut up em
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No I'm literally so mad. I blasted frank iero and screamed the whole way home. Not even along with the songs I just screamed.
#robi rambles#so fucking mad dude#it was a good movie. it was so good#but also like yeah i have critiques. like namely the fact that it never felt like we got a slow moment?#besides under the water tank with gwen and miles ig#but like other than that there wasnt any let up on the tension even in moments of humor so it felt like there wasnt room to breathe#also the animation itself was hard to keep ip with at a lot of points#like there were so many little detaiks and quirks to it that i want to appreciate but i cant unless i watch at .2x speed or somethinf#idk. i liked it a lot and i understand why they did it and i do think the impact of the emotional scenes were great#just wish we couldve gotten to know some of the new characrers a little better so i could yknow. give a shit abt them#still better than encanto tho#god fucking encanto. biggest fucking let down ive ever watched tbh. but whatever thats for another time#anyways great movie and im mad about it
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that last art comic reblog FHDHDDJSDJJDJKSKSFHSBRRRRRRR BRAIN IS GOING SO BBRRRRRRRRRRRRRTT ROGHT NOW I want to talk about it so bad and about why it's making brain go BRRRRRRRTHDHFHDDJJDJSS BUT I know no one cares and no one will want to listen. i shared it with people and no one will respond. especially not the people it reminded me of who aren't as obsessed with a past thing as I am since I can't just let go and move on from hyperfixations/special interests so easily. even if it ended bad. I got no closure and still LONG FOR IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SO SAD THAT ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET BACK AND AHHHGH
#no one understands. at all. ive tried explaining. everyone who were there with me moved on and dont get why i cant#or their bad experiences completely ruined and tainted the memories amd they rather forget and mever talk about it#but i cannot. im too autisticly attached despite the bad things that happened#and that comic really scratched some of the itch#i need to resist begging the artist to make more like that just to satisfy me#or i need life to quick kicking my ass so i can make my own 😭😭😭😭😭😭#theres just something about dumb autism siblings committing goofy chaos crimes against normal domestic life “rules” that ugh chef kiss#(i headcanon all fontaine siblings as autistic like me and my friends do its perfect)#and i just ugh. i always want so bad to autistic monolog about my rp goofs and stuff related and now this comic#which is connecting a current special interest to the last one that was ripped from my hands before i even realized it#and hffhfhjdvdjfbdjskdhhkssk too many feelings and things to say and no one to say them to 😭#i wish i could make someone watch my old rp goofy moments video and some other old videos with me but no one cares or wants to :((#lee text#that was a lot but i have feelings and needed to yell into the void ugh
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sigh
#call me stupid the way i want to believe people at their word and then find myself disappointed when suprise!!! it was all a bunch of talk#call me stupid the way i will do it over and over and over again and then wonder why im miserable!!!#oh boy!!!#fuck#this is my fault inevitably for getting my hopes over nothing every single time#i just want to die in a hole and never talk to anyone ever again#its not like anything i say will get through to them anyways#its not like anything i say fucking matters anyways ive learned that too many times over at this point#i just dont want to try anymore#im so fucking tired of trying so hard all the time to get crumbs#and then the moment im upset about anything is about how everyone else feels about that#like fuck off please let me have something#god#im so tired of being alive and no one cares and i am expected to keep living with that#like the way my ex does more to hangout with me than anyone else currently#i run errands. i go to work. i sleep. im alone most of the time. my roommates grace my presence when they arent dealing with their own shit#i watch youtube and cook dinner with them and then i dont see them unless theyre unconcious or leaving to go to work#i dont have any friends#people dont text me#when i text people they dont even respond#i am alone with my thoughts too often and then i just get to sit here and try to stop myself from spiraling and do something stupid#im always doing something stupid#like this this is fucking stupid and pointless and fuck just shut the fuck up already#rips my my fucking brain stem out god#i cannot be in this fucking house right now with myself
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